Hey Riddle Riddle - #134: ValenStein's Monster!

Episode Date: February 10, 2021

We've built the perfect episode from love, kisses and a dash of mojito! We're also thrilled to announce our not terribly serious search for the perfect city to buy a HOUSE OF RIDDLES!! In this episode we explore some spicy bedroom play, the worlds worst Motel, show off the Shakespeare we remember and take another awful riddle to Riddle Court. Grab your shortwave radio, find the hidden clown in your house and make way for another episode of Hey Riddle Riddle! #WiddleWednesdayStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. I've done it. I've done it. JPC, Aaron, come close, I've done it. I've built him. How did you get it? Okay, what did you build? I've built Valentine's Monster. It's me, Adel Valentine, and I've built Valentine's Monster. I just need it instead of electricity. It needs to be powered by a... Sorry, I'm just coming down the stairs with my mojito. What am I missing? Aaron, I've built it.

I've built Valentine's Monster. It's powered by love, so I need you and JPC to kiss. I don't mean to be, I don't mean to quibble, but I think that your Valentine's Monster and that is Valentine. A people always get this wrong, but the monster is just Valentine's. Oh, then why am I talking like this?

If I went through all the trouble to talk like this, which is normal than how I usually talk, why am I the monster? I don't know. You know, you are, maybe it's your personality. Is it because you're losing? Is it because I pick all the caramel McCorn out of the Carmo cheddar playing popcorn mix what you know what it's gonna be it's gonna be way easier if

we just ask Barry Shelley what what's right and what's wrong okay we get let's get Barry yeah she just she just well she is actually here she made me a mojito Barry's upstairs yeah Barry with an eye. Berry with an eye? Yeah, Berry with an eye. Oh, here she comes downstairs right now. Hey Berry. Yeah, hey Berry. What's up? You all want a mojito?

I'm Adlerify. I'm JPZ. And stop telling me in my Instagram messages that I should kiss Adel or JPZ. I'm never gonna kiss either of them. Stop shipping us. Stop, if you're gonna ship anyone, ship Adel and Casey,

because that's the classiest ship you can ship on the show. I do it. We were just talking, moments ago, literally three minutes ago, we found a house in Syracuse that's $2,500. Aaron found a house listed for $2,500. We have decided to buy this house in Syracuse that's $2,500. Aaron found a house listed for $2,500. We have decided to buy this house in Syracuse, New York. We are going to make it the Riddle House.

Now what that means is that if you enter this house, you are part of the Riddle Club. You are a part, you are a Riddle membership member. And two weeks out of the year, the three of us are going to go live in this house. We're going to crank out some riddles. We're going to write up a bunch of jokes and riddles and record

the whole year's episodes and that's what's gonna happen. Yeah, it'll be like a secret adventurer society. Like, in the series of unfortunate events that volunteer fire department group and they were all very cool and adventuring. But we're gonna do that and this is definitely not one of Addles' empty promises. He's for sure gonna buy me our run-down for twenty five hundred dollars and it's going to be great uh... and so if you have a syracuse here i'm about to be a neighbor i just google where syracuse is and i am out

no i too cold thank you too cold no it's it's not a temperature thing you know what i use this i would like well it where like where in relation to new york it is because new york is so big and i didn't know if it was like if I'm gonna push your thing. I will tell you. You're gonna say, I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you.

I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you.

I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you.

I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I don't think so. That's nothing. If we... Aaron, why do you say that? We have to edit every episode you've heard of a very little. We've had to edit Aaron saying that after everything I do and say. But this one will leave it. I want to say this though. I want to say this. Now, if we are looking to move to the Syracuse area, which I'm not opposed to, because again, it's not about the weather.

I wouldn't give you, that's what a French detective would say is, Syracuse. That is something. I'm gonna give you, I'm gonna give you some other options of it. Maybe these are maybe towns near that area that we could live, okay, and you guys have to pick the one that you would like.

Okay, option number one. Yes, Baldwin's Hill. I assume that's like Baldwin's Hill. Baldwin's Hill, that you would like. Okay. Option number one. Yes. Baldwinsville. I assume that's like a baldwinsville. Baldwinsville, that's where Alex and Zell all those folks live. Yeah, they turned out the baldwins, so I can't have that go to schools. Option number two.

Yes. Weedsport. Ooh, yes. Okay, Google the schools. Don't need to. Oh, I'm sure they have a high school. Are you going back to school? Something.

No, for our kids, our collective children. What if we, okay, here's what we do. Listener. Listener. And JPC, I'm gonna let you finish. Listeners. I have my figures up so I know which count I bought. In our Twitter DMs or email HRR, podcasted email.com or Instagram DMs, send us a house in whatever

area of the US you think we should buy a riddle house. It has to be less than $5,000. This is going to happen. We are going to buy a riddle house and you get like an ownership membership or something because you help us find it. A finder's fee. But wait, hold on. We charge you because you found it.

Yes. We need to find out where in the world we're going to live. And then, Aaron, you have to pose as a teenager at the local high school for one year. Okay, am I allowed to fall in love? As long as it's like a coach or teacher. Okay, I don't want to do that. Are you guys ready?

Are you guys ready for your next options? You have more options. Okay, so you've got Baldwin what Baldwin's Ville weed sport you also have Mexico Okay, Cleveland Okay, and this was my favorite Cincinnati These are all cities in see see I and see I in ATUS Cincinnati it's not Cincinnati and it will never be confused.

You don't need to make it. I love their five-way chile. They have such skyline chile. Oh, I like that. That's something. Okay, well, JPC, like you have the Google, like what town has the best reputation? Does one of the towns have a cute little park

we can rock, walk around? Which town has the best reputation. Does one of the times of the cute little park we can rock walk around. Which town has the best dogs? I will say, it looks like the answer to all of those questions is Mexico, New York. So we have a thing to Mexico, New York. We're gonna go to Mexico, high school, Mexico liquor, Stefano's Mexico. I don't know what that would be.

Stefano's liquor has some of the best liquor in the world. It's got everything. It's got everything. Aaron, they have Mexico Elementary School, Mexico High School, so we got schools covered. There's the harder funeral home there. I wasn't as, I've had so most towns have schools. How are the schools?

Well, they're the harder funeral home. They seem great. They're gonna fall the quicker they're dead. All right, well, we're kind of up a creek without a paddle right now because the least expense of home I can find in Mexico, New York is $59,000 and what we can't. We don't have that. We can buy land. When you say up a creek without a paddle, do you mean black creek, which is going to look like House Mexico Church?

Exactly. So send us an email, send us a DM, or tweet at us, and we'll say, what do we want to call the hashtag, hashtag Riddle House? Yes. Yes. Hashtag Riddle House. Send us Zillow Listing, send us whatever listing or house. But it can't be land, it has to be a real house.

It has to be under $5,000. We will consider ranches or cabins. Yes. I think what Aaron was trying to say is it can't be on land. So we're talking about houses on the back of trucks. We're talking about skycassels. We're talking about Atlanta's type things under lakes. Atlanta's type things.

Uh-huh. Do you think we have the band with the personalities are the work ethic to be able to maintain a ranch? Hmm, that's fair. Houses four and less. We could raise dead horses. Well, Hadel told me once that he wanted to be a ranch hand and I asked him what he thought that meant and he thought it might be a hand in a bowl of ranch. Dorito dust, Dorito to all over his head.

If you dipped Gourage Doritos in ranch, I bet that's fucking spectacular. Sure, why wouldn't it be? Those are my great things. Try it out. This little tip, pro tip from your chef friend, Adel. And if you tried it out and you like it, let us know about it.

Hashtag Rital House. That would be the hashtag we'll just use all year. We'll just keep that one running all year. So for whatever things we run, it'll be that hashtag. It sounds like a reality show. Well, happy early Valentine's Day to everyone out there. We hope that you're having the most wonderful, lovely time,

love filled time actually. And then happy early president's day. And that goes out to all 45 presidents who have ever been nominated. Well, actually, that's different from president's day. That's early presidents day. And so that is just a day for the first 15 presidents. So sorry, Tyler, sorry.

Pears, Monroe. Why didn't you start at the beginning with things that you know? I want to say, George. Why wouldn't you immediately say George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson? What it's not like they get the same no no James Madison John Quincy Adams Andrew Jackson. What are we doing? Stellen Skarsgard no Stellen Skarsgard was our 38th president. No, that was Spiro Agnew. Oh, okay. They shared.

They shared. Well, let's go ahead. We're gonna get into our riddles. We have to invest. Our pussies because we're... Okay, I'll close my Google. But I think I found a house in Arizona for us for three pounds of dollars. Oh, actually, I mean,

Gemma and I want to retire in the South of West because we went to New Mexico and fell in love. So Arizona and New Mexico, we love that area. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. At the end of the day, let's go. At the end of the day, my god, I'm dead.

You're like, what, like three years past retirement age anyway. So maybe it is time to get that place in Arizona. Ah, keep it together, Addle. Be professional. Fuck you, JPC. Sorry, I'm just coming down the stairs with my mojito. What did I guess? Very slowly.

Are you felled out the stairs? Mojito first. Well, that was true when I still have half of it in my cup. You're right. Okay. Here's some quick warm-ups we're just going to do some jingles and slogans. So I'm going to give you the first half of the jingles or slogan. You're going to complete it and let me know what it's for. I love it. Let's do it. Okay. So these

should be fairly easy, just to kind of warm up our brains. First one is melt in your mouth. What to do with this? I know the joke answer that will fit best? Melt in your mouth, not in your butt. And that's for sexy ice cubes. Sexy ice cubes. Melt in your mouth, not in... Aaron sipping her mojito. in your mouth, not in... I'm still like sprawled out at the bottom of the staircase. She's critical in cuss. When I was a kid, my dad had a friend, what was his name, Ron?

And Ron lived in Florida and he was up visiting. And we had like a bowl of Skittles out, and he tasted some, and he said, these are the worst day of M&Ms I ever had. And he thought that they were like a, some sort of off-shoot of M&Ms like a, like a, Chewy M&Ms.

Chewy specialty M&Ms. That's what an alien would say. Oh, or a person from Florida. Yeah. M&Ms. I to see a scene based on melt in your mouth on your butt. I want to see you seeing the two of you are this will be our first Valentine's Day. See the two of you are a couple. Yes. Valentine's Day. You're trying something new and adventurous and one of you or

both of you are introducing food items into the bedroom that aren't typically associated with fun or sex. Okay, babe. I think this is great. The therapist told us to spice things up, so I think let's get down to it. What did you bring? So, um, you know, Sheila told us that we needed to spice things up. I took her at her word. I have some...cumin. And I was like, what?

What's that? Cumin on like what? I hit it throughout my body. So I'm a hairy, hairy man. And I guess as the activities of tonight go forth, you may find some Cumin and just taste and sniff or ingest as best you can. I know the lights a little dark in here,

but babe, it's sort of, at first glance, sort of like first impressions here, I think you might be allergic to cumin. Yeah, so, I bought too much, that's the first thing. The second thing is I did not have any Porsche control, and it had to just, it's little tiny pieces, and it just blew up as soon as it came out of the package. And yes, I do think I have a rash from it.

Well, maybe my thing can help. Oh, okay. Reach into the grocery bag. You know those rotisserie chickens, you can get a jewel that are like $7 a Monday's? I do. Well, I didn't go on a Monday, I went on a Tuesday. So I had to sort of dumpster dive.

So these rotisserie chickens expired yesterday, but I think they're still good. Okay, so what is a sort of dumpster dive. So these were Tisserie chickens expired yesterday, but I think they're still good. Okay, so what is a sort of dumpster dive? Is that just a straight up dumpster dive? See. It only counts as a full one if your full body goes in, but it's just torso. If it's arms and legs only and someone's holding my midsection

outside of the dumpster, like a claw game. It's sort of. Cumin my hands, not my mouth. Uh, M&Ms. That is correct. Melt in your mouth, not in your hands, M&Ms. How about we'll leave the... The choosing to you.

We'll leave the, we'll leave, we'll leave, so you can be alone. We'll leave the, the cookin' to the experts. We'll leave, ooh, ooh, we'll leave the cook into the experts. We'll leave the country Obama. We'll leave the creativity. Oh, this is like, this is like, oh, this is an end. This is like, we'll leave the light on. We'll leave the light on. We'll leave it the light on for you. Holiday and daisies.

We'll leave the light on for you. Powered. Powered. MoTail six. Six. Mm-hmm. Shame about what happened to MoTail five. Well, MoTail six, you are wasting a lot of electricity.

Turn that light off. I'd like to see a scene. Aaron, that's something. That's something. I would like to see a scene. Aaron, that's something. That's something. I would like to see a scene. You're, uh, at all, you're checking into a motel. You were driving all night and you're sort of just checking into the first place. You see once you get tired and, uh,

JBC, you're about to give him some maybe, uh, bad news at the front desk about the little quirks of the hotel. Sure. Oh, my God. I'm God, I'm so happy to, that you have a room, that's wonderful. You know, I saw the neon sign and I thought clown smile in, that can't be great, but you know what, bigger can't be true.

Yeah, better than great. And you're in full, the full regalia and everything. Did you go to a clown college or do you just dress like one? We have, we don't have a clown college, but we do have a Clown High School just down the road. So I graduated from Clown High School, went into Clown Trade School, two-year program. You would like a room? Uh, yes. Whatever room you have. Okay, well we only have the one left. And are you going to be paying by the minute, by the hour, or do you want like a And are you going to be paying by the minute by the hour or do you want like a

God forbid a whole evening in the room? Well, yeah, I'm driving so I definitely get a full eight and then I'll probably want to you know relax and shower and all the chow so Okay, I could call in some extra clowns to see if we could squeeze eight into the room with you But would you be okay with just the standard to oh no, I'm sorry I just it's just me and I want to be in the room with you, but would you be okay with just the standard too? Oh, no, I'm sorry. It's just me and I want to be in the room alone. I understand. No funny business, no funny business. At the clown smile and there will be two hidden clowns in every room. That's one of our guarantees. And if it's a privacy thing, you won't see them, they won't bother you. You can look for them. You will not find them. Well, I mean, just looking around the lobby, I do see there's clearly behind your desk there. There's clearly what's a, what's a,

sure, very, very tall clown with just a lampshade on his head. Reggie, he spotted you. You won't, you won't put 20 dollars in the jar. Oh, no, I'm trying to lose in the jar. I really thought I got a good, you're just guys this time, or pretty, you're clever, so What do you do for a living? Well, I...

Is that sort of investigator? No, I'm a journalist. I write about my time on the road. And so I go to the city. So a journalist is not some sort of investigator? Well, we... You're not an investigator, do you? Well, I'm an author, I guess I should say.

Oh, okay. I'm not a news journalist. I'm, you know, I have my journal and I write and then I publish like a Bill Bryson type. And I also, if you don't mind, I also notice in the main hall here up on the ceiling, there seems to be a clown who's hanging on for your life and just rotating its arm going fan, fan, fan, fan, fan, fan. I don't work here, Hong Kong. Yeah, like I said, there's a clown high school down the road and we do an outreach program fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan That's $20 in the jar. It rules are rules for everybody. Okay, we hit again. Can you see us? Yeah, I can't you see us.

They're just running back and forth. Yeah, they're running back. Okay, well, we can get you in the room. Now, how what do you like to floor? I guess 0% 0% I'm sorry. Well, there will be zero percent in the room. I'm from Mexico, New York. We don't pronounce our ours. Okay, well, there would be no piss sent at the room. I should have said, but you won't be able to smell a thing. I should have said Mexico, New York.

Because you don't pronounce your Rs. I understand. I understand. Well, we can get you into the room. Is it just the one car? Oh, my car won't be coming in with me. Oh, I'm sorry. How are you going to get in the room without the car? Hopefully, Stairs, elevator? The car won't be coming in with me. Oh, I'm sorry. How are you going to get in the room without the car? Uh, hopefully stairs? Elevator?

Well, I mean, you can try, but, uh, I'm saying that if you don't have that metal encasing all around you, you're going to get crushed to death, just going into that doorway, because you're going to need something to burst into the door of the room. Oh, um, you know what? I'm actually, I've been kind of rejuvenated by the conversation. I'm gonna just hit the road Certainly and I know that you want to you're gonna walk out of that door. You're gonna find yourself right back at this lot This is your life now I died on the road didn't I? It's 20 in the dark 20 in the dark I'll tell I? It's 20 in the jar. 20 in the jar.

I'll tell them about the breakfast. 20 in the jar. The scene. We have a clown. We have a clown's and then told breakfast. Clown's and then told breakfast. It's circus penis. The only thing scarier than two clowns in your hotel room that you can see is two clowns

that are there that you cannot see. I'd go to that hotel. You're so nice one. I know. Adil would definitely go to that hotel. It's freaking awesome. You're real freaking ass. The head cloud did all of a sudden.

I'll go. How about all the news that's what? We're going back to Jingles and Slogans. All the news that's Doesn't challenge your worldview and tells you exactly what you want to hear Sign me up all the news that's all folks Okay, all the news that's coming down the Hudson Hudson news in every year very close very close all the news It's fit to print the New York Times Let's do one more when it absolutely

When it absolutely Oh, that's it when it absolutely cannot wait And then what's the brand? I don't know given birth the babies in impatient burgers. Yeah, I don't work in advertising When it absolutely got a shit, colder for this. When it absolutely, when it absolutely, absolutely, when it absolutely, positively has to be their overnight FedEx.

Oh, God dammit. Okay, let's go into our, oh, go ahead. Can I see a scene? Yeah. Okay, so, Adel, you are a FedEx employee that has been given a package and you are single handedly traveling across the country to deliver it. And I check into a hotel?

No. Just, it can be a montage of all the things you see along the way. Okay. This package absolutely has to get there, but tomorrow at 9 a.m. But I'm counting on you, son. Can you do it? But chief, it's, we're delivering from, from, uh, small town, California, all the way to Rhode Island.

I can't do that. Yeah, if you can't do it, to turn in your badge and turn in your gun, because you're not fit to where that FedEx uniform Not my gun. I'll try. All right, sir. I'm on my way. Good good luck in God's speed I turned around and I stare out the window. Are we following him? No, I'm gonna leave you on this Okay, you know that I'm leave it. Okay, I'm walking out. Okay, look up on my bike in that at the Well, I'm leaving. Okay, I'm walking out. I'll hop on my bike and edit it. Oh, I'm already.

Oh, the bike broke. Oh, no, let me hop on one of those things on the railroad tracks that you pump up and down with another person. That broke too. Okay, well now I'll grab my bindle and I'll hop into a train car. Okay, well that broke as well. Oh, it's a train broke down. Oh, got a horse.

Yeah, more. Oh, he died. Okay. But you got really attached to him too, so now you're moving real slow. What I have to say, man You need a ride. Yeah, who are you? I'm burnt motor cars, and I'm driving all the way across the United States Hop in and I'm his girlfriend wearing a fur coat. We're definitely not bad news. Whoa, whoa, whoa, girl friend Whoa, I thought I was being gentle with that technically remarried.

Yeah, spikes married, okay. What are all these bags of money in your back seat where the dollar bills are flying out the window? Hey, don't worry about that, pal. We need to have a conversation about our relationship. Okay, I'll wait. You know what, why don't you take our car? We got a lot of stuff to sort out.

Oh, thank you. And then the car breaks? Oh, shit. I love you, but I still think I'm there yet. Yeah, wait, are we following them? Seed. He didn't make it. I didn't make it.

Let's get into our full. How was nine months later? I have very left. Let's go into our full course riddles here. All right, here we go. As he watched the man, sorry, as he watched the man at the stand vigorously shake a piece of fruit, he was reminded of his favorite play Romeo and Juliet. What's going on here?

As he watched the man at the stand vigorously shake a piece of fruit, I guess it's like a fruit stand, he was reminded of his favorite play Romeo and Juliet. Is this, is the answer to this like some sort of like word play joke where it's like 100 percent. Oh my god. So they're shaking fruit. And he's, and it reminds him of Romeo and Juliet, which is his favorite play. What is a line from Romeo and Juliet that I have seen it?

What light through Yonder Window cakes? We've got al-Kaens at cakes. Yeah, is this a line from Romeo and Juliet that has a? It's fruit. Light through Yonder Window grapes. Yeah. I want to see you soon. JBC and Timberlinks, Prince of Mangoes.

JBC, you and Aaron are doing Roman Juliet. It's like a local kind of community production. YouTube has been cast, but you did not study your lines at all. And it is opening night. And the two of you are absolutely struggling to remember the famous lines from all the good scenes. Leona de Caprio, Leona de Caprio, where far parts are Leona de Caprio.

I clear dames, I'm up here. Up on the top part. Are you down there in the shrubbery? What? Like, through Yonder Window, Bakes, Tiz, Julie, Andrews, and the West. She... East... East be nice to be her. And the West she East

Meast be nice to be her Just to sleep to sleep for chance Now I lay you to rest Um to be Or come noble Benvolio my long sword you oh Or come noble bin volio My long sword you oh In my axe

And now a dance break Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Um, um, I've been in this play twice. Let's see. Shit, I was like, shit. I was gonna try to look up and find a full monologue for merchandise that I just liked to do. Ooh, just nail. There was a point in my life where I knew all the lines for Romeo in that play because I had to do them. At one point, I had to Romeo in that play because I had to do them.

At one point I had to do them. I know I had to do them because I did them. I used to know almost all of Macbeth and I used to know quite a lot of Richard III and now it's all gone. I knew a lot of Macbeth not because I was in it but I worked a crew for it. I think I've mentioned this before. I think I was like 19 and I was a dresser on a production of McBath and St. Louis. And I was in charge of like Lady McDuff and all the kids' clothes. So I had to listen to the play every day, which is so dark. And then after all the like three hour productions

and sometimes we do two in a day, I had to wash all the blood off of her clothes and all the children's clothes. So I was for three months of my life in the dead of winter. A couple times a day I was watching watching blood off children's clothes and I was like, I am horribly depressed. I am so depressed.

I wonder why. And I was like, oh, it's probably all this blood on these kids clothes I see every day. I used to know so many Shakespeare plays because I used to work for Banquo for those in dinners. And they would, in the factory, they pipe that for those fucking plays in everywhere. It's very unbranded for them. Remember at the end of this episode when we say instead of Jupiter I think you have to say Mercutio. Yes that's good. Remember that.

Very good remember that. JBC how many lines from Romeo and Juliet, do you think you know? Zero, I really don't, not like full, like, not like full model logs. Also, I laughed there because we said, remember that, remember that. I just got, how funny would it be if you went to an improv show and someone's like, everybody come to the left

and that's where the cabinet is. Remember that, remember that, remember that. I just like, everybody on stage said, remember that three times, whatever something happened that's where the cabinet is. Remember that, remember that, remember that. I just like, everybody got safe said, remember that three times, whatever something happened that they're gonna bring back. Remember that, remember that, remember that. Call back, call back, call back. I don't know, what light through yonder window breaks,

it is the East and Juliet is just, who gives the Queen mob a monologue? I have no idea. Is that Mercutio? Is that Chibbelt? No. Is it? It's Mercutio or a Tibble? idea. Is that Mercutio? Is that Tibolt? No. Is it? It's Mercutio or Tibolt. I think it's Mercutio.

I don't know. It doesn't matter. It's a member now. Tibolt's the cousin, right? Yeah, Tibolt's the cousin. Is the John Legg was a homo type. Oh, no, no. I thought Mercutio was a,

was a John Legg was a homo. Ah, I have no idea. Mercutio is the other guy. Is it the guy from Lost? No, well, oh, wait. The guy from, in the movie, the guy from Lost, who plays the whole, he gives the Queen mob. Yes, that's Morkusia.

That's Morkusia, yep. And he's phenomenal in that. I forgot that he was in that. Oh yeah. So, what author are we speaking about? Cug? Shakespeare. Okay, and now.

Shakespeare, he was shaking a pair. He was shaking a pair. He was shaking a pair. Aaron, what answer through yonder bullshit breaks? It is, the man was shaking a pair and the person watching was reminded of the answer. You're not supposed to do that. That's rude. My mom always was like squeezing fruit at the supermarket is rude. Do you shake your parents, me, sir? I shake my parents, sir, but not a you, sir.

I bite my tongue that you, sir. I bite my tongue. I don't know. I love that, love that, love that. When we read that in high school, just that first bar of Romeo and Juliet, where they're biting their thumb and that meant like, fuck you. Once a teacher explained to us, that's what it meant.

Oh, everyone in the rest of the day is like, we would, for like a month, we were just like in the hallways biting our thumbs at each other. And we're like, this is the funniest thing in the world. And then eventually we're like, I know, never want to do this again. Never mind. Yeah, you're not supposed to touch fruit

all the time at grocery stores, especially now with COVID. I think of that line from guys and dolls where she goes, you mustn't squeeze a melon till you get the melon home. And I live by that. Ha, ha, ha, ha, that. And I live by that. I will not buy an avocado that I haven't squeezed

because it is impossible to know when that avocado is going to be raw. Avocado's famously have a two minute window where they're perfect and before or after they are inedible. That's me every day. I'm an avocado. There's 14 seconds where I'm tolerable and lovely.

And the rest of the time, I'm not. And it's very rare that I'm avocado ready during whenever I recording. Well, when I go to the grocery store and I see that huge pile of avocados, I look at that and I think maybe one in 10 of these will be enjoyed. So much avocado has to go to waste. Well, no, no, they know what they do. They make it into chocolate milk. No, they make it into guacamole

that they sell at the front part. Mm. Aaron, I want to believe that that's true, and so I choose to. Well, I notice in her eyes that Aaron is in her 15 second window of being wonderful. So we're gonna take a quick break. So, J.P.C. JPC and I can enjoy that and

we'll be right back with more Hey Riddle Riddle. What light do you have to window breaks? Hey JPC. Yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Adel. And I'm setting up a website to prank him. Um, can I just need some advice? This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you.

We're pranking Adel. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, it engaged with your audience, and so anything for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms.

Hey, Addle, come here, come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC, and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like is there like Online store like it set up on my website to sell product. Did you know that with square space? You can have custom merch you can easily sell custom merchant create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money What is happening? Okay.

Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna shoot you. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool.

I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords are popular products and content on my prank website. The prank site too. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. The website was for.

Prank. Squarespace. You can connect to your store to Vedent Dirt Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back. She's back. Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adel and JPC, thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an impasse. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? There never truly is a middle of the woods. No, this is the middle.

Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually, so as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems, he has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help.

Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices, and the path forward isn't always clear, whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow, sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want

while you navigate life and the woods. Hmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about?

All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Dirty bread crumbs. Mm-hmm.

And he's also really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelpHELP.com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in

the LARLJPC, hoping at home. Bye, baby. Am home. Who are we? What is this? I, uh, clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I just want to make a quick toast to, uh, I know it's JPC's birthday and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday,

and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I wanna talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Bunny. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Mm-hmm. Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions,

monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, uh, sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you, and for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel, and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Clean, clean, clean. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel and rocket money will cancel it for you.

It's that easy. Clink, clink, clink. Mm-hmm. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off. Clink, you didn't click here. You didn't click here. You didn't click here.

You didn't click here. You didn't click here. Oh, clink, clink, clink. Over 3 million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rock. Stop, stop, stop, stop, no, click, click, click, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwanted subscriptions today

and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rockatmoney.com slash riddle. That's rockatmoney.com slash riddle. Rockatmoney.com slash riddle. And tell them JPC's birth they got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches The quality of mercy is not strained. It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath. It is. I'm going to droppeth some acid.

Twice blessed. I'm in the middle of a performance. Please, I give you a compliment. It blessed him that gives, and him that takes, to his mightiest and the mightiest. It becomes the throne of Mardar. At all. Please. There's twenty-five hundred people here who pay.

This performance is so oven to God. Do you see God off the stage? I'm watching, I'm watching, but I want to watch from the stage. His sceptre shows in the forest ten more of mountains. Ever since he became a security guard at Von Mauer, you keep saying avant guard. The attribute to awe and majesty, where a doth sit the dread and fear of kings. I am the law, dread.

Oh my God. I'm so close to the actives. I can touch this one. I can touch his garb. Aaron, I'm sorry you're doing great. I should have known that this is... Is this part? So try to give me flowers in the middle of this.

Whoa, what is this part of Shakespeare? No, this is me talking to you. Wow, it's so surreal. I love this tin-stosh, 15 thumbs up. This is the best performance I've ever seen. So where's the most acting guy? Wow. And this boy's mustache is real.

Look at it. Yank right on the side of this. Which if now follow the strict court of Venice, must needs give sentence Against the merchant there. What is this play about? Is it about money? Why is flash blood? Bravo, Uncle, Freibord, Freibord, Bravo, AMC, Play Wonderwall, MTV Disney Plus, what? Wow, that's the last time you're invited to any of my plays. I would love to go to a very serious play.

Just in the audience, 35 minutes, just go. Play wonder. Now, Merchant of Venice has Shylock. Yeah, I think so. Yes, and he asks for seven pounds of flesh. Maybe. That should still be a thing. Where someone's like, can I borrow your, like, can I borrow your PS4 controller? And you're like, yeah, man, take it. But you don't bring them back. I guess seven pounds of flesh. I would totally pay for those anthropology candles and pounds of flesh. Just hand them my arm at the counter.

Do your words, you and you will. You're purchasing actually qualifies for an anthropology credit card. So the way that it works is it's 0% APR. We do take a pound of flesh if you're like with a payment. What? I'm sorry.

It's for candles and stuff. I'm all the places to do that. It would be anthropology. You know, it would be a anthropology. You know, it smells like sinister white woman in here. I'm being seduced into something bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. Bad, bad, bad, bad. Bad, bad, bad, bad. Bad, bad, bad, bad.

I'm gonna give you a list of four things and you have to tell me which one is the odd thing out. So that, so three of the four have something in common. They share a quality and the fourth is a glaring omission that you have to sus out, sniff out, and boot it from the group. I'm sorry, it's gonna be glaring? Well, I don't know if it'll be glaring.

Got it, got it. But do we have to say what's out about? Sun glasses on, sun glasses off. On, off. Well, there's a glare, so leave them on. All right, great. I have mine on, they're the ones that turn from regular glasses into sunglasses

when you step outside. Oh, yeah! So this first one is specifically for JPC, but Aaron, you can answer as well. Great. Question one, Albany, Trenton, Santa Fe, Indianapolis. Albany, Trenton, Santa Fe, Indianapolis. So, Indianapolis and Albany are both capitals, and I don't know, is Tritten the capital

of New Jersey? I'm going to say Santa Fe is the out of one now. Okay, why so? Is it, is, are the rest of them, uh, uh, state capitals? Uh, you're on the right track, is, are the rest of them state capitals? You're on the right track, but you are incorrect. Is the answer Tritten? Why would you say that? State capital, state capitals is the part that is wrong?

Well, you are, it has something to do with state capitals, but not in the way that you're guessing. Okay, what are they? They're Albany? Albany or Albany? I never know how to say that. No idea. Albany. I feel like either way I say it, someone corrects me. It's kind of like, I used to live in Nevada.

I live there for four years. No, no, no, no. Anytime I say Nevada, someone's like Nevada. And then I'll be like, I guess it's the way. And then the next time I talk, I'll be like, Nevada and I'll be like, Nevada and I'll be like, I get it. the way and then the next time I talk I'll be like Nevada and I'll be like Nevada and I'm like I give her Nouns to Utah

Albany Trenton Santa Fe Indianapolis Indianapolis is the odd one out Aaron you are correct do you want to let us know why it is the odd one out all those other places are livable and cool Aaron that's not the right answer but I I'm going to give you the points. Oh, yeah. Is it because Indy Napolis is a capital that has the name of the state in it and the other ones don't? Or it's, they both start with blood or eye?

You're on the right track. You're on the right track. Do you want me to give you the answer? Do you think you can still get it? So, the answer is Indy Indianapolis is the odd city out. The reason is all four are capitals, but the other three are capitals of states that start with New York, New Jersey, New Mexico.

Oh. So a little bit of a tricky tricky tricky one. Fun, I like this game. My guess is that Indianapolis is also the only one of those cities that is not on a navigable body of water. What? Interesting.

Indianapolis is the biggest city in the United States on a non-navigable body of water. That's right. We have a canal. I want to say the scene. The two of you are in a row boat. You're in Indianapolis's famous canal. Do we want this? I'll leave it to's famous canal. Do we want this? I'll leave it to you too.

Do you want this to be another Valentine's Day? They seen? Okay, great. There we go. What do you mean you want to divorce? What are you talking about? Fuck. Well, I mean, I brought you in a robot in February

because I didn't want to make a scene somewhere. I mean, until I want to divorce. You just blurted that out. We were just talking about all the things. We loved about each other and I brought this picnic for us. It's like a 20-fist wedding anniversary. What do you want to get a divorce?

Barry, yes, we got married on Valentine's Day. Jennifer! Oh my gosh. My name is Barry. I'm psychic myself up. Barry, you could do this. You could do this. Jennifer 25 years ago on Valentine's Day, we got married and I said what did I say? What were our vows? I said to have to hold to love to cherish and oh my gosh. I hope this works for up for up to

25 years, but not over But I thought that everyone laughed. We were 70 when we got married. We didn't think we'd be 95, but here we are. Hey YouTube down there. Just be careful in the canal. After 5pm, the canal shark comes out. And of course, in Indianapolis, a canal shark is what we call two boots tied together, sewn inside a dead cat, floating in a mountain dew bottle. So an Indiana spaghetti dinner? Why do you two look so proud of yourselves right now?

Is that something? No, it isn't, same. Here's the next four words you have to figure out which one is the odd word out. Odd word out. Period. Z. I'm sorry there's five. Period. Z as in the letter. New Year's Eve. Amen. Hello. Period. Z. New Year's Eve. Amen. Hello. Correct. Hmm. Hmm. This is hard. Yes, it is hard, isn't it? It's almost as if this is a... Is it a period or the word period? Aaron, I'm glad you asked. It is the menstruation cycle of a sentence, which

is a period, a little round dot. So you didn't help me at all, so it's not the word. It's a dot. It is, I mean, it's the word period, but it's representative of the end of a sentence. Yep, the little dot. Are these all Fergie lyrics? My lovely lady loves, check it out. So, so, period Z, New Year's Eve, amen, hello.

Okay, these, oh, oh, I got it, I know it, I know it. Yes, wait, what are they? Which is the odd one out, the odd one out is hello. That's my favorite thing, hello, yeah. Yes, I know it, I got it, wait, what were the words again? Aaron, why is the odd word out, hello? Because that, everything else happens at the end of something. Aaron, two for two. Hello is the odd word out because all the other terms represent endings.

Period, the end of a sentence, Z, the end of the alphabet, New Year's Eve, the end of the year. Amen, the end of a pray hour. Okay, well, whoever wrote this clearly hasn't said hello to someone at the end of a break up to try to freak them out Like alive ladies be the scariest and weirdest you've ever been at the end of a breakup So they have a fun story to tell I introduce myself to the person right after I break up with them I go hello. It's nice to meet you and they're like That comes right after Aaron saying I never want to see you again. She takes a long

Blake. Oh, then she says hi, I'm Aaron. Yeah. And then they grabbed their suitcase and they're a little hat and they run. It's like a black mirror episode. And here we go. Next for rule retriever. And of course, these are all jazz, j'a rule, j'a retriever, girls and pencil. Rule, retriever, girls, pencil. Rule, retriever. Girl, girls, girls, plural and pencil. Well, girls is the only one that is plural. So that's my answer when I win.

I guess that's that. That is incorrect. Okay. Retriever. It's not a plural thing. Aaron, what do you think retrievers the odd word out? Because everything else you'll find in a classroom. Okay. That is incorrect. But, but retriever is the odd one out. No. But I just like, when you say the wrong answer, I'm just curious. I just always want to hear the reasoning behind it. Girls. Rule. Retriever. Girls. Pencil.

But Aaron, this does have, I will say, this does have something to do with school in a way. At least one of them, perhaps. Is this, do they all, is there like a word that combines with all of them but does not combine with one of them? Is that 100%? Oh, oh, oh, no, it's golden. So we have golden rule, golden girls. What does the other one? Golden retriever, so a pencil. Pencils the other one out.

You are correct. Pencils the other word out. The rest, uh, attached with golden, we have golden rule, which you might learn at school, the golden rule. Do it to others as you would have done unto yourself. Is that the golden rule? Take a pound to flesh.

Get a candle. That's the golden rule. Welcome to our party. Everyone grab a pound to flesh. We're not going to eat it all. Retriever. The golden rule is do unto others. If there's people watching. Yeah, smart. I love going to the park for some people watching. Here's the next. Oh, I want to see a scene. What about golden pencil? No, that's not that's not okay. Okay okay good. I want to see a scene. You two are in school. Aaron, you are the teacher. And JPC is your first day of school.

You're the new kid. And you just happen to be a golden retriever. All right, kids, principal. Excuse me. Excuse me. Where can I sit? Oh, teacher. All right kids principal excuse me. Excuse me Where can I shit? Oh Teacher teacher. I don't want them to do that. Not next to my new shoes. Oh

I won't share your shoes if you don't want me to Of course, I don't want you to I don't want them to shit anywhere Kid name Gordon Gordon Gordon sit stay been named. Gordon, sit. Stay. Stay here. Okay, can't do. Uh, Principal Henderson said we have a new student whose parents just moved to town, so we're all going to be very welcoming. This is Gordon. How did two golden retrievers afford a $2,500 house in Syracuse? Hey, hey.

I'm just saying. Honestly, when my parents moved us up here and they said we're going to go live a farm upstate. I thought they're worse, but this is actually not so bad Well Gordon I Principal Henderson told me that you're very interested in basketball Frisbee Frisbee Yeah, I'm only gonna try to join the basketball team because no there's nothing in the rules As long as you don't play football because I'm the receiver. Okay. Airbud Golden receiver?

Nobody? Okay. Well I did. I tried to do the airbud basketball thing. I have no beef with you man. No we're in the rules. You seem great. I'm into Frisbee's.

Well Gordon. I can't try and stop trying to push me into sports just because I'm from a city school and everybody knows that I do sports. Well, Gordon, we're just trying to be as welcoming as possible. Do you want to tell us some of the things that you like to do? Teacher, you're sniffing my butt. That's normal. I'm sorry, I thought that was your crutch.

This kid's got a backwards body if you ask me. Anyways. Gordon, that's very impolite, please allow me to. I'm sorry. Every day I sit on my dick. My name's Gordon. What do I like? Table scraps, rub them a tummy,

station bus. Gordon, you're just like scootsing your butt along the carpet. Please stop. Something in there hurts. Just ask. What's that? If you need to go to the nurse, just ask. I don't need to go to the nurse,

but could someone help a brother out and pull whatever stuck in out just a little bit? Nobody do it. I do it, but I got these paws and they ain't good for nothing. Gordon, what did you learn at your other school? What are some of the things you were working on? Sure, I know, stop. Stay.

Leave it. Gordon. Bad dog. Gordon. Damn it. Bad dog. Stop. off the counter Gordon listen Gordon Damn it you're driving me crazy Gordon God damn it Stop teacher stop eating that rat. Yeah, everybody just file out slowly. Can we can we please have our chocolate milk now

Chocolate milk break chocolate, that'll kill me. St. Don't say have chocolate, they can't have milk, but they can't have chocolate, and that'd be a less than all of you. Okay, here's the next four. Cotton, horse, saddle, tap. Cotton horse, saddle, and tap? Yep.

Oh, cotton horse saddle, tap. Cotton horse saddle, tap. The forwards you have to discern. Cotton horse saddle, tap. Jack. Cotton horse saddle, tap. Cotton horse saddle, crap. Jack. Cotton Horse Addle Tap. Cotton Horse Addle Tap. The Bar Word, do you have to choose for it? Cotton Horse Addle Tap. You know.

Tap, is he hot word out? J.B.C. you sing. I was solving the riddle. I was focused solely on solving the riddle tap. Cotton Horse Addle Tap. I thought words you have to choose from a Cotton Horse saddle tap. Cotton Horse saddle tap is filmed in front of a live studio audience. Ha! I'm Cotton Horse! Yee-ha!

And I'm a saddle tap, the worst cowboy in the world. I'm Cotton Horse! I'm a cat! I'm a horse! And that saddle tap is my husband, a cowboy. Yep, and my wife is a cotton-picking horse. Are you? Oh, we've been canceled. No. I don't know why.

It's 1951. The studio pitched... ... a gay couple. A gay couple, a couple. 1951 the studio pitched GAYCUPPLE GAYCUPPLECUPPLE And we've been canceled please a couple the 1950s a gay couple is called a gupple way ahead of its time Cotton horse saddle tap GBC. I think you said an answer I tap is the odd one out. Okay. Why is tap the odd one out? Tap is the only one that describes dancer.

Saddle dancer, horse dancer, cotton dancer, or nothing. Tap dancer is something. It's shoes. Aaron, you are crushing it. Oh, so what is the odd one out? Cotton. Cotton is the odd one out. The rest are all types of shoes.

Tap shoes, horse shoes. Saddle bags. Sad of shoes. Tap shoes, horse shoes. Saddle bags. Saddle shoes. Let's see here. Let's do another riddle. One more daddy. This one is going to be infuriating, so I've saved it towards the end. Oh, yeah.

Here we go. The world is ending. Was the message he heard over his shortwave radio. It did end, but he didn't learn about it for 10 years. He didn't learn about it for 10 years when he watched it happen. What's happening? Wait, the world is saying it again? What? This is this is one of the all-time worst riddles ever. Wait, say it again. I'm really confused. Aaron, no amount of repetition is ever going to be. But I'm going to need to hear it again.

Of course, of course. The world is ending. Was the message he heard over his shortwave radio. It did end, but he didn't learn about it for 10 years when he watched it happen. I don't know. Is this like an advertisement for like the final episode of a series of shows that he's hearing about on the radio But he never watched the show and in like 10 years later he's like let's give friends a try and he sees it on Netflix Yeah, the world is ending means it's the series finale for Bobby's world. Of course. We all are all sad to see that leaves. Oh, no

It's a general. Don't you know? leave. Oh no. It's a general. Don't you know. Let's let's let's all the shows with world in it. So there's Bobby's world. There's beckons world. As the world turns real world is JPC said. Different world. I think that was a show in the sitcom in the early 90s. Out of this out of this world I think was the sitcom where the girl had a dad who's an alien. Third world from the sun. Yeah. Oh, uh, friends. World in grace. Yeah, not about world.

Yeah. Uh, the big bang world, uh, Caroline in the world, world in the city, game of world. Oh, hey, speaking of the Big Bang Theory, I wanted to pitch to you guys this new character that I'm developing. All right, I'm ready. So this is either a character idea.

It could also be like a Halloween costume. But I think of having a new character, and the character's name is Sherman from the Big Bang Project. And it's just, it's very close. It very close to the gym, what's his day of character person. Jim Parsons. Thank you. But Sherman from the Big Bang project says like, Bajinga, Sherman from the Big Bang project knows a lot about like, not like nerdy stuff, but like philosophy.

Like it's just like one, a JSA. What do we, what do we think of Sherman from the Big Bang project? Well, I'm going to need to hear some like, I I just like need to see it on its feet, you know? Yeah, see it in action. Okay. The works of Carl Jung certainly are interesting, Pachinka. Pachinka?

That's my grandma's favorite game to play at the casino. Play some Pachinka. Anyway, that's Sherbin for the big big project. What do you think? Five stars? Uh, I give it five out of a thousand stars. Addle, what would, what? It's definitely a thousand stars in the sky. Addle, when I gave the answer to the riddle

that was correct, how close was I? Ha ha. Um, what was your answer again? It was like he was, what, what, what, what, what, hearing about a TV show that, uh, that was ending and he caught the end of it 10 years later. Incorrect. He heard about this on a short wave radio.

What's a short wave radio? Is that just like a normal radio? Is that like a terrestrial radio? You know when you're like out in the public and you're in your own little world, and you have, hold on. It's been a year I haven't been out in the public. What do you tell the world?

You're in your own little world. You have maybe your headphones in, and you see someone, you recognize someone, and your body starts to greet them before you even comprehend who they are. And your hand starts to go up to wave, but then you realize that someone you don't like. And so your hand stays,

your hand doesn't go above your head at all. It kind of stays close to your chest. Sure. And you give a little hello and then walk away as quickly as possible. That's a short wave. So what I do in that situation, hand goes up, starts the wave,

realizes the person I don't like, second hand goes up, now I'm doing a puppet show, a tampup, and they talk to each other and I look like a fucking crazy person, just walk another street, and I'll be a sherdad, and say, oh, I don't wanna go into the pancake,

Bob and me, and the person thinks that they know me. I'm like, that can't be hard. I recommend do that at the very end of a breakup. And so you know, two things. JPC, what I know we've talked about this before, but the bit you would do where you would sing, was it like a blink, one, 82 or green day song and you'd think it was green day. What was it? Sing those same lyrics over that. Yeah, it's the,

another turning point of fork stuck in the road. Another turning point of fork stuck in the road. Another turning point of fork stuck in the road. Another turning point of fork stuck in the road. Another turning point of fork stuck in the road another turning point forks again the road Yeah, that's the bad Does my mind play tricks on me That was I think that was the first CD I ever bought was dukey

She left me The stairs I think She left me roses by the stairs. She left me roses by the stairs. She left me roses by the stairs. Cut my life into pieces. Cut my life into pieces. Cut my life into pieces. That great day song.

I was listening to early 2000s radio when I was cooking earlier this week, and that song came on, and I like, the laughter from the deepest part of my soul came out of my body, remembering you doing that bit. Because part of the bit was you starting to panic at each time you could, each time you'd sing it again, being like, oh, that can't be right. It was, in between, when I was doing that bit on stage,

in between breaths, I go, what are the words, what are the words? What are the words? Oh God. Oh my God. Oh my God. It, like, I didn't know you at all when I saw it, and I think I came up to you after, and I was like, I thought I was gonna throw up

when you were doing that. I was crying laughing so hard. It's truly one of the funniest bits I've seen in Chicago. I strongly encourage anyone out there to take a song that you like and then turn that song into a bit and completely ruin that song

for you for the rest of time. Oh yeah, of course. Yeah, anything that you like, try to do comedy about it as a ruin, that you just take a thing that you like if you rub it at the dirt and you kill it if it's bad. Hey, Alan GBC, did you ever like any of my characters? Did any of them ever like stay with you that you loved?

Every time I'm hearing a wedding, a bridesmaid speech, where the mic is cutting out, I think of you. And that happens more often than, it's not happening at a wedding. Aaron, sincerely last night, I made a fire in my fireplace, cause it's winter and it really came down with snow

and she got me. Wait, I don't have a fireplace. So I made a little fire and Gemma and I were sitting there having some drinks and chatting and we have been talking about getting, I've never gotten a tattoo before so I'm getting my first tattoo at some point. Gemma has multiple tattoos but she wants another. So we're talking about what tattoos we want to get in the future and I think my first tattoo possibly, I know the three of us talked about getting one together and I'd still like

to do that if you're game for it. My first tattoo might be like almost like a far side panel square and it's going to be JJ made of hay couldn't go to the bonfire. I think that's sincerely, truly going to be my first tattoo. That's the darkest thing to. It's so dark. Oh, fuck, there's so funny. I wanted something with like a campfire

because I'm like, I love being around campfire. I was sitting in a fireplace and I was like, what's something that's not just like a campfire where it's like generic that has some meaning to me. And I'm like, I always think about Aaron. Once a week, I think of JJ made of Hey couldn't go to the bonfire. Like I'll say it in the shower. Or I'll be like getting away for bed and I'll run

through my head. So I'm like, maybe that. Um, well, that's like the, the highest on honor ever. Also guys, it pays to be a brat. I Lashed out for attention and it worked. Did you see that? They said such nice things. I was joking and it totally paid off. Holy shit. You bullied me into putting something you did on my body. I am gonna get a tattoo. I've just now come to this conclusion. I am going to get hundreds of cigarettes tattooed all over my body. And when people ask me about them, I'm going to get a tattoo. I've just now come to this conclusion. I am going to get hundreds of cigarettes tattooed all over my body. And when people ask me about them, I'm going to say each one of these secrets

is a cigarette I've killed. Okay, I like that. Perfect. You should get a cigarette for every time you have a craving for a cigarette. Are we still going to get a... Recording? Are we each...

Are we going to get an H, are we going to get an R, are we going somebody gets an R. I want to get something more ridiculous Okay, I'm listening So are the three of us in agreement that the three of us will get a tattoo that's either the same or Is one part of a third? Aaron said that she wanted to get something more ridiculous So let what about this Ace Ventura eating Pope Francis' ass and then Pope Francis is also like looking a big thing of ice cream and then underneath it it says, this tastes

wet. Yeah. I'm not trying to get a double of a test so I already have. Let's see, like a waste of money. It's Ace Ventura eating the Pope's ass and the Pope has a word bubble that says, nobody stop him. Um, remember when the Pope hit that lady. I think about it all the time. Here's the thing that he's acting about all the time.

Or he smacked her hand. Yeah, the Pope hitting that lady. Think about it all the time. I think about how Tucker Carlson in that show that he used to have in the early 2000s, John Stewart came on and made fun of his bow tie and he never wore a bow tie again. Think about that all the time. Because Tucker Carlson is like the saddest, saddest little man ever. And then I think about JPCs.

Another turning point of box that can never. And I just wanna announce we blew right past it, but please feel free. I want to hear your caption submissions listener. So the tattoo is Ace Ventura eating the Pope's ass and we wanna know what your caption would be. So as soon as those captions, hashtag Riddle House. Don't draw it.

Don't. Just a caption. Draw it. I'm gonna say it one more time. The captions. Don't draw it. Don't. I know you're all super funny and so weird.

I love you all and I know there's probably 600 of you that are having the impulse to draw it. Don't draw it. Don't, I'm seeing you pick up the pen. Don't. Think it, don't draw it. Speaking of think it, we're running out of time. We have to solve this riddle.

I'll give you 30 more seconds and then I'll give the answer. The world is ending. Was the message you heard over his shortwave radio. It did end, but he didn't learn about it for 10 years when he watched it happen. Did he hear the already in song? It's the end of the world as we know it. And then he saw them live 10 years later. No, that is incorrect.

Oh, okay. Is it like a show about worlds? World, world, world, just tell us. Yeah, I don't know. The Erin and I's guess was very good, and since that's not the answer, then I fucking hate this. Okay, here's the answer.

It makes zero sense in so many ways. The communication he received came from an alien on a planet 10 light years away from him. No. It took 10 years for the explosion that occurred on the day of the transmission to be seen on earth through a telescope. I want to see a scene. So, um, I hold on now because you said that we were almost out of time because I would have taken this shit to fucking riddle court, but I was like, we don't have time for real court. And now I'm all rise for judge JPC of riddle court.

And that one. All rise for Judge J.P. Sue Riddle Court. Boom boom. All rise, all rise. Now order in the court. This one takes me. All right, let's see, large pizza with sausage and banana pepper. I want cheesy bread sticks and I'm typing it all down.

And for once can you guys order from the menu? Hot dogs, hamburgers, it's not hard. That's what we have, that's what we have. We have the equipment to- If we're sentencing this riddle to death. Oh yeah, this riddle gets dead for sure. I'm not here for the defense. I'm not here for the prosecution. I want to see you soon. This is going to be a very quick scene. So, Aaron, you are an alien from a far away planet. Your world is ending.

You are able to communicate on a shortwave radio to JPC whose 10 years in the past and you're having this conversation. This is almost like the, I guess this is basically the plot to the movie frequency, but worse. So you're an alien, your plan is about to end, your world JBC is a young boy with a shortwave radio 10 years in the past. Oh my God. Okay. Hello. Hello. Sorry.

Hello over. Someone coming out of my shortwave radio. Oh my God. Okay. Sorry. Blah. Okay. This is so much pressure. Blah.

Okay. I am an alien. My world is ending. I'm a little drunk because I'm nervous. It's gonna hurt. So I went out with the girls. Got a little too steep. Did a little bit of like pre-end of the world drinks.

Did you say girls? Yeah, so you should know that the thing that killed us is gonna kill you. And it's gonna be like 10 years and we thought like we were going to leave you alone for the most part. Oh my God, I have so much to tell you and I like talking about my questions. I have so many questions. What do they like? How do you talk? How do you talk to them? Well, alien girls are pretty different. So we eat guys like immediately. They're pretty. Oh, brother brother I'd get so flustered if I

had to talk to a pretty girl I'm sorry I fell down the stairs and I'm drinking a mosquito but I'm thinking yes I'm supposed to tell you how to save your world fuck oh fuck oh no fuck I'm just a boy I haven't even thought about doing that but I guess if I had to how would I go about doing it? You're supposed to, something with like, like, like, coming, like, uniting together as a world. Using chemicals? Uniting together?

Yeah, not all of the together as a world, like, like, uh, like, uh, boundaries and borders are meaningless, like, I band together. Okay, I'm gonna try to fuck. Thanks so much for your advice, Ali. Okay, I'm done. Exploding. Alright, got it. Get some chemicals. Same. Perfect. Aaron, do you have anything you want to promote? Just follow me, Aaron. Keep 10 on Instagram. Thanks for listening to the show, guys. I love

you. JPC, anything to promote. Just follow me, in general. Leave your lives behind, leave your jobs, your wives, your children, your husbands, your friends, pick up whatever weapons you can carry, however much gold, however much money, and follow me. Do as I say, do as I command. We will see the light. Addle anything to bug? Yeah, on Disney Plus, there's a phenomenal show

called Bluey, I think I've mentioned it before. It's on a story and kid show. I think I've mentioned it before. It's on a Australian kid show. I got, I had an edible last night in Gemma and I watch two episodes. And it's the most like joyous laughter we've had. And it's a children show, but it's so heartwarming and it's so well done. That we were like genuinely cackling at the most sweet humor. So I would highly recommend Bluey on Disney Plus for any ages, especially if you have kids,

or if you're just young at heart. Also, I wanna give a huge shout out and thank you to my brother-in-law, Doug Patterson, who has non-stopped helped us with the new house, with repairs, with everything. This man is a fucking do-it-yourself genius. This guy can do everything. So thank you to Doug.

He's the best. And I love him. And I love you guys. And let's talk about what tattoos we're going to get. Aaron, there is a planet in the sky that is only seen. Some people think that it's one planet that existed. Some people think that it's many planets that are wrote that wrote these pieces together. Keep going, you got this, you got this.

What else? This planet is one of the most prolific writers of our time. That planet is. To sweep, put plants, to do it. Let's see. Shakespeare's illusions to planets are often made astrologically. But in a few instances, they are made from a purely astronomical point of view. What does that mean? My personal impressions that Shakespeare possessed, what one may call a knowledge of heavenly

phenomena, carefully balanced in the treasure chest of a thousand different subjects. So, this is the first time I've been so acutely aware of the fact that I do not have the power to end the episode. We're also small. We're also tiny in this great big expanse. Mercutio! But I guess he didn't know that many planets. Ah, I have my habit.

Mercutio, bye forever. Sorry, erotina. And John Patrick Cullen. Mercutio by forever. I cannot, by the progress of the stars, give guests how near today. Oh, that's nice. I am very cold and all the stars are out too. The little stars and all. That sounds like an errand quote. Guys, we went over an hour, so we have to do another hour. We have to do two more hours today.

The moons and Aaron's thief and her pale fire she snatches from the sun. Aaron, we have to end the episode. I did hear it, he played the theme. What? Hey there, plops and condolences. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. It's our hundredth Patreon episode and our Valentine's Day spectacular, which means we meet the crew of

Hay Relationship Relationship and a bunch of wacky characters from along our way. You can listen to that plus our entire Bat Catalog at patreon.com such hayrattlerattle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or the review crew for $8 a month. See you there! That was a Hitgun podcast.