Hey Riddle Riddle - #136: Frodoian Slip

Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a headgun podcast. Everyone ready for the main feed? Erin wake up. Can't stress this too enough. I am awake. That's just my face. It was the cat and of an airplane. He's having with the obstacle. And the horse is riding. I keep it for a rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-a-rick-rick-a-rick-o-rick-o-rick-o-rick-o-rick-o-rick-o-rick-o-rick-o-rick-o-rick-o-rick-o-rick-o-rick-o-rick-o-rick-o-rick- No shit, all surelock, it's Hey Riddle Riddle. And hey, the three of us fell in a deep fryer and now we're all Southern. I'm a little Southern boy and I sound like this. I got a horse, got my dog, I love my truck and I said, all right, ye awesome set. I fell in an

Starting point is 00:01:01 air fryer, now I smell like butter. I fell in an air fryer. Now I smell like butter. I fell in an air fryer. Now it tastes like butter. I fell in an air fryer. Now I'm delicious. I'm a southern gal. Yeah. And they're like jackhammering outside of my window. So you're talking about a couple? This ought to.

Starting point is 00:01:19 Yeah, there's there is a couple fucking as hard as I've ever heard a couple. He's lying. He's lying. He didn't want to do the song. They're doing construction right outside of my window right now, so I'm assuming that all of this audio is going to be unusable.

Starting point is 00:01:34 So I'm not going to waste my time doing a great fucking Southern accent bit because it's going to be, it's going to be stripped from the episode. So I can. But if you were, but if you were going to do what this is, what would you have added to the song? Honestly, you guys did little jingles in Southern accents. I think I probably would have just done something simple like a y'all.

Starting point is 00:01:54 Can you point the microphone back towards you and not the couple that's fucking outside your window? Thanks. So I guess reverse cowgirl, how do you say, y'all backwards? couple that's fucking outside your window. Thanks. So I guess reverse cowgirl, how do you say, yeah, backwards? Yeah. I think it just is your J.P. Rittles throwing a flashlight zone.

Starting point is 00:02:12 No, that's the woods throwing the flashlight back. I once did reverse cowgirl with a woman. And she put a cowboy hat on her vagina. She put chaps on her arm. I feel like this is made up but keep going Yeah, you like you're lying. You lost me at you were with a woman Boom, well, I know you're you have a fiancee getting married. Yeah, that's fair. Well, I'm out of rify I'm JPC and I'm Aaron Keith

Starting point is 00:02:40 I don't think we've done that in a year. That's why it felt a little clunky. Yeah, it's been a little bit. And we're, hey, Riddle, we're a podcast where we try and solve riddles, puzzies, lateral thinking problems and along the way, we stop and dick around. Have fun. Because if you're not having fun, then why are you here?

Starting point is 00:02:59 Then what's the point? Well, okay, so I fucked up then, because I thought that from, I guess I missed read an email or a text, I thought we were pivoting and we were now a home renovation podcast. Oh, no, no, no, I said Jeremy Piven is flipping his house and we should invest. Oh, no, I hate so many of those words. Oh my god. What a terrible investment. What a terrible investment. To invest in the house that Jeremy Piven is flipping.

Starting point is 00:03:26 People like Jeremy Pivot lived here, and someone's like, ooh, can I have a napkin and show me the door? Ha, ha, ha. Hard pass on that. I do want someone to give me sort of like a home renovation or travel show. Would anyone out there invest in maybe me on like

Starting point is 00:03:42 the travel channel or hd tv have a Invest in a show where I go antique shopping and drink coffee and I bring different funny people along with me or I travel the world and TV show pays for it and everyone watches. I would watch the absolute shit out of that I think what's the American pickers is such such a watchable show even though this two guys are kind of mad or it all. Wait, my idea already exists, what's American? It's two guys, and they own antique stores in Central Illinois and Nashville, and they just travel the world, I guess not the world, they travel the US,

Starting point is 00:04:17 and they go to like Barnes, like there'll be some 89 year old guy who's like, take a look at my barn, and they're like, we just found an original coaxine from 1842, and they'll be like $10, and who's like, take a look at my barn and they're like, we just found an original cook sign from 1842 and they'll be like $10 and he's like, okay, and then they take it back to their shop and they sell it for 40,000 and it's that kind of show. Okay, I'm sick right now, I'm actually sick and I have to call off the opposite, I'm gonna have my mom come pick me up

Starting point is 00:04:40 and I'm not going to go watch that show. But it's basically treasure hunting. It's one of the most watchable shows I've ever seen and I again I know it's watch as no it's so watchable because I dislike the hosts and yet I still watch Oh, well, I want something like that my mom Turned me on to this local access TV show that I think only people in Massachusetts watch or care about and It's this woman who goes to different Massachusetts homes and different cities and learns a little bit about the city

Starting point is 00:05:09 and towards the house. And it has been cracking my shit up. I consumed so much of it so quickly because I'm like, oh wow, this is everything I dream of. Snooping in someone's home, judging their home, and listening to people from Massachusetts talk about how proud they are to be so snobby. I love it.

Starting point is 00:05:30 Check out home life and style if you're from Massachusetts and you like gorgeous homes. My mother and I are obsessed with it. Adel, what show of yours do you want JPC and I to produce or infund? Hmm, I want to go, let's see. So I wanna do a show where I go on haunted tours all across the US and I am the guide. You're the ghost, I'm the guide. I'm the guide and I just make up along the way, I just make up stories where I'm like,

Starting point is 00:06:00 does anybody know what happened in this alley? And then someone's like, a nurse was killed and I'm like, that's right. Ooh, that person's weird. Why? But it's just improvised ghosters. Again, this is a, I'm sure I mentioned this before, but this was a show I wanted to produce with JPC as the tour guide in Chicago. I still think this is going to happen at some point if JPC still has interest.

Starting point is 00:06:19 I think it would be so fun. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. You're describing American gamers. No. Yeah. So that is this. that is a show that I love. The two hosts, I hate them so much. It's the Property Brothers.

Starting point is 00:06:32 The Property Brothers hosts the show. But it's essentially that, except they're not so much going around and doing improvised ghost tours. They're like fixing up people's houses. You know what I'm thinking of? It's the Property Brothers. Yeah, you're thinking Property Brothers. That's the show. And I do not care for that show. Well,

Starting point is 00:06:46 GPC if you like Adela and I will give you all of our money for a show. What show? Okay, so this show is called secret cousin fantasy kiss and we basically just Take celebrities and we reconstruct times in their lives where they had a sexual awakening about a cousin or the presence of a cousin. Aren't you glad that we have combined finances now for no reason at all? Aren't you glad I didn't kiss my cousin? Just getting all of our ideas are bad. Sorry everybody. We'll stay in our little podcast corner. We'll never leave. We'll stay in our lane. We'll do our little southern voices. I'll do my little western sounds. Y'all! Wee! Wow! Y'all!

Starting point is 00:07:25 Care to kiss. And that'll do it. Is it still going? Yeah, I'm sorry. They're always going in my mind and sometimes I vocalize them. But otherwise, it's just a running current of those noises at all times. And then there's also the fast paced Clipety Club of a horse, because it's just my brain galloping and making those noises.

Starting point is 00:07:42 I do think it would be fun and then we'll move on. I do think it would be fun to do we'll move on. I do think it would be fun to do a culinary show on the Food Network or something travel channel where you search out the worst dishes where you're like, we've narrowed down the three worst burgers in the show. Yeah, you're right. I do like hurting people's feelings

Starting point is 00:07:58 and ruining small businesses. And they're all just like crying, fingers crossed, hoping they're not the worst burgers. Or maybe- I don't or maybe kitchen nightmares is about That's fair. I like that show if it's not businesses if it's just individual people who have like really bad eating habits We're like we're checking in on Gregory Gregory. This is your third bowl of peanut butter cap and crunch today You have a working stove you have a working microwave you have a stinceably a spatula This is the third bowl of. And yet the roof of your mouth is ruined. Well, speaking of ruined

Starting point is 00:08:28 JPC, I believe your old man puzzles for this episode. Why else would I be wearing this large beard and big hat, my friend? I'm covering up a surgery that I got that went horribly wrong. What about the sequined bikini? That is because it's the weekend, my friend. It is a Monday. It is canonically a Monday, released on a Wednesday. No, I do have some riddles. These are riddles, uh, riddle submissions from people way, way, way back in the before-time September 2018. Wow. I have to say the last several listener-submitted riddle episodes we've done have been quite good. I don't know if it's

Starting point is 00:09:09 Older ones or newer ones, but I feel like people have really stepped up their game and we're getting Is maybe the best riddles ever are coming from our listeners. I agree Yikes well big pressure to put on the riddles that I grabbed from here now We every time we do I do riddle submissions I like I want to honor the fact that there are people that wrote us emails in 2018 with riddles in them and that have not made it to the show yet and I wanna put those on the show. But also, I have riddle books that I really wanna use for riddles and every week that I do riddle submissions,

Starting point is 00:09:36 I'm like, I definitely want to just do a couple of these and then go to the books. Sure sure. But without fail, I pull like three riddles and I'm like, these are the ones that we do. And that it takes us 45 minutes to get through. What do I get? What do I get if I get through 12 riddles this episode?

Starting point is 00:09:53 What do I get? I'm going to go in the opposite end motherfucker. They're now they're going to take 50 minutes. I don't have to. I hate how stubborn we all are. I'm going to drive my feet. I'm holding my breath until the show is over. But I did grab some, what I want to say is that I did grab some riddles that are on

Starting point is 00:10:11 the quicker side. So these are some shorter ones. And this first one comes from, I'll just say it comes from Ruth. Hello, I have a riddle for you. Okay, here it goes. Here comes the riddle. It's this. No punctuation by the way.

Starting point is 00:10:25 Do you know the old joke about the dog, the talking dog? No. There's this old joke, it's very bad, but I'll tell it anyway, just to waste time because again, I promise 50 minutes. So there's this guy who takes his dog to like, I don't know, some sort of specialist, he's like, my dog talks and he goes,

Starting point is 00:10:43 oh, show me, and he goes, okay, okay Oreo. Who's the Who's the grace? Oh cool. I almost fucked it up. So he goes what do you what do you say about how would you describe sandpaper? And the dog goes rough and he goes, okay Oreo. What's on top of a house? And he goes roof and he goes, okay Who's the greatest baseball player of all time and he goes Joe and Amasio? And he goes, okay, who's the greatest baseball player of all time? And he goes, Joe and him as you. I think it's pretty funny. I like it. And also, it's good to hear the old classic, Addles Dog voice.

Starting point is 00:11:15 Which I used to do in every single world news episode. They should put that in a museum. Can you put a voice in a museum? I'll look it up. Hold on, Aaron, you're not doing riddles. I'm doing the riddles. I'm old men putt says I also like how that got that dog is like the greatest baseball player ever is Joe Dimash, you know, so it's like, all right dog like you what what how old is this fucking dog? And also it's like a little sus that he's picking this

Starting point is 00:11:41 old dead white man to be like the best baseball player of all time like what's going on with this dog's politics? That's fair. We don't stand the dog as a joke folks. Hank Aaron and then Albert Poole. Maybe we can make my dog voice we can turn it into a non-fungible token and sell that and we can we can each do some some of those some NFTs. Dude, I'll tell you every day growing, there were kids that when we got to lunch that would eat fungibles and I wanted them so bad. Oh, but all I had was a nonsungible token and I had to use that to buy my lunch.

Starting point is 00:12:16 Swear fucking pizza corn dog on a stick. No thanks, give me the fungibles. Me and my friends would make blockchains for each other and wear them around our wrists. Blockchains, what you got to school in 2020? Jesus Christ. Cryptocurrency much? All right. This is from Ruth. I always have stories, but never tell tales. And my hard-unbursed skin bests the wolf. Oh, that didn't rhyme. No, I was fully expecting that to rhyme. I know it. I know it.

Starting point is 00:12:45 I know it. It's a book. Is it a book? Aaron, what makes you think it's a book? Because it has stories but never tales? Oh. Well, stories but never- We're gonna get it and I'll tell you why.

Starting point is 00:13:00 I have, I always have stories but never tales and my hard umper skin bests the wolf. I'm gonna, oh I know what this is. Okay. And also, before I answer, and maybe this is giving the answer, but I want to see a scene. So, we're gonna have Aaron, you are the big bad wolf, and you're trying to blow down a house. JPC, you're the last standing piggy and you have built your house out of something that the wolf is either not

Starting point is 00:13:30 able to blow down or doesn't want to. Gotcha. All right. Well, well, well, look who it is. Motherfucker, who ate my brothers. Yeah, I'm about to eat little red riding in your grandmother too, so let's get this over with. Different story. Still a wolf. Still a fucking shitty wolf. No matter where I am I suck. Well, my friend I'd love to-

Starting point is 00:13:56 Oh! Oh, I'm sorry! You taking a big breath? Yeah, I'm- What's your plan? Well, I'm glad that you asked, cause it's awesome my catchphrase. I'm gonna huff. I'm a man. Well, I'm glad that you asked because it's awesome my catchphrase. I'm gonna puff. I'm gonna puff.

Starting point is 00:14:07 And I'm gonna blow your house down. Look at that wolf huffing paint. Now I know. That's gonna destroy your lungs. Your lung capacity is gonna be shut. Now I know you killed my brother. You know, but I get news flash. I didn't like those my little pig brothers

Starting point is 00:14:26 They were uppity. They're always thinking they were better than me. They were building their houses out of straw and sticks and whatever the fuck But they don't care that I killed them slow You know, okay, I Care that they were good hard working honest pigs They should then being kind of mine is nothing Pigs! They should then be in kindergarten is nothing. But you motherfuckin' you killed those pigs. But I invite you wolf to blow your hardest because you never blow this house down.

Starting point is 00:14:53 You see what this house is made of? What? Look closer. Do you see the shop? Fangs? The fur? I built my house at a dead fuckin' wolf. Oh my god, my brothers! My hardworking younger brothers!

Starting point is 00:15:07 I need a light come! Your uncle, your parents, I killed every wolf that I could and I took ground their bones down to make my house. Oh god, I could see some of their faces. That's my mentor. That's my best friend. That's the love of my life, you monster! Yeah.

Starting point is 00:15:23 Yeah, oh shit. Hold, hold, hold, this house is not strong! Oh, that wolf breath! my life you monster! Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh shit. Hold. Oh, this house is not strong. Oh, that wallprap. Oh, that wallprap. Ha ha ha ha. House made a wall. House made a wall.

Starting point is 00:15:32 House made a wall. House made a wall. House made a wall. House made a wall. House made a wall. House made a wall. House made a wall. House made a wall.

Starting point is 00:15:40 House made a wall. House made a wall. House made a wall. House made a wall. House made a wall. House made a wall. House made a wall. House made a wall. House made a wall. house referring to the famous poem, The Tale of the Three Little Pigs. The famous poem, She's on brick, house. All right, which pig is which? I'm the pig who makes their house at a straw, Adelie, you're the pig who...

Starting point is 00:15:57 So you asked us a question, then you give us all the answers. Well, no, I'm not going to give you the answers, you're going to fill in the blank. Okay. What is it? It's straw. It's straw, sticks, and bricks. And brick. Straw, he blows down a woodhouse. That's insane.

Starting point is 00:16:13 No, it's like sticks. It's not like planks, it sticks. Okay. It's not like an adorable charming cottage. What was this pic trying to cut costs? Yeah, of course. He would just lose, they were like, well, we have pine, we have whitewood, and then we have some low quality, and he's like, what, what?

Starting point is 00:16:29 I was out in the parking lot and I saw some sticks. They're like, that's like a tree in the parking lot. That's nothing. That's not, that's not for building houses. I got my eye on a huge TV, so I'm trying to cut costs where I can. Really, you should, you should be using rebar. No, no, no, sticks for me. Sticks, not the bark kind.

Starting point is 00:16:47 Sticks from the ground. That a winter's head. That's on a house. That's a pile of sticks. If you put a stick on your head, you don't go around calling yourself a homeowner. Yeah. I will now.

Starting point is 00:17:01 That's what millennials are gonna have to start doing. We're all living with our fucking parents right now. I'll never own property and that's what millennials are gonna have to start doing we're all living with our fucking parents right now I'll never own property and that's what's real. Oh boy. Yeah, brother said he lives out in the sticks Yeah, don't get me started on what that leads to him It's he literally is a pot. It's a pile of sticks. It's a nice neighborhood I'm gonna start me talk about my brother. I'm gonna start selling hats that just they they're just like a hat with like a wooden roof on it, so you can just walk around and say you have a roof over your head or a home.

Starting point is 00:17:27 And it says, it's called a millennial home. Uh huh. Oh, I love it. A millennial home. Hey, here's a millennial home for you in Starbucks. They spend all their money on coffee and now the economy's ruined. Yep, it was us.

Starting point is 00:17:41 It was us. Good going up millennials. We've got future generations. The Zoomers will save us with their TikTok and their porn. Okay. Thank you so much, Ruth. Ruth also says I love your podcast. Okay. Thanks. Bye Awesome. That was fun. Yeah. We we thank you. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts. This next one is from Ken Ken says hi, adult GPC and Aaron huge fan of the podcast first thing in so long that has made me laugh out loud in public. Now again, this is 2018 when we could go in public. We have not been able to do that since, um, for legal reasons for us. I want to say hi to Ken, but also I'm, I'm sad to say that although I love your red robes, I more of a rye you guy.

Starting point is 00:18:26 Um, what is that a reference to? I don't know those words. Okay, let's try this one. Ken, I think that thank you so much for sending them this riddle. You're an absolute doll. Oh, um, now earn you do one. And I know this is going to be great. I know you're really smart because you won Jeopardy more times than anyone else.

Starting point is 00:18:46 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Not a lot of famous kins. No, not really. Is, yeah, well, not many people go by, Ken. Kendrick Lamar is, is he a kin? Is kin short for Kendrick? Keneth, I think. Keneth, Keneth.

Starting point is 00:19:01 Typically. Yeah. So there's Keneth Griffey Jr. Ken Jennings. Kenneth Kenneth the doll Kenneth Paltrow See Kenneth Paltrow There's in in London. There's big Ken. She started that company coupe That sells six thousand dollar vitamin to rich women to chickens coupe Got a little ready this comes from the classic video game Kings quest six Context being a talking door asks you this hmm. Okay, so here you go from Kings quest six. I'm so tired of talking doors asking me questions

Starting point is 00:19:37 Oh my god, give me five seconds, please What do you mean push or pull just What do you mean push or pull just Ah blah blah blah blah blah that's you push or pull let her push your pull we're not open no smoking shut the fuck up I don't want to read today Talking doors You must wear a mask instead of the process Shut up My first is foremost legally my second circles outwardly

Starting point is 00:20:03 My third leads all in victory. My fourth twice ends a nominee. My whole is this gate's only key. Is the door bragging about people it's slept with? Well, the door actually uses the word screwed. So I guess that means slept with, but I mean, I'm sorry sorry banged. I would like to see it. Okay, add all your window, JPC, your door, and you're bragging about your sexual escapades. Ooh, I see a little chilly. I'm gonna go ahead and shut myself. Okay, you don't have to check that there's anything in it

Starting point is 00:20:45 before you shut because there never is. Me being a door. Usually if I just want to shut myself, I got to make sure that the passageway is clear. I get it, people go through you. People go through me. Must be nice. Mount Chico-Wang-Wang.

Starting point is 00:20:59 Fink, fink, fink, fink, fink. What was that? You play bass? I do, yeah. I got a bass knocker. So it's one of those novelty things. God, look at, look at like there's a lot of dust on the old pains there.

Starting point is 00:21:14 Yeah, I haven't been cleaned in a while. And I'm feeling a little neglected, but I have a date tonight. Oh, any advice for... I'm sorry. You have a date tonight? Yeah. You have a date tonight so oh any advice for first date you have a date tonight. Yeah You have a date tonight. Yeah, it's with a fly that's trapped in between Okay, I thought so I thought so I thought it was with a fly that's trapped in between your pants You know what good luck with that. I'm sure that you'll let hit a home run the fuck. I'm sorry

Starting point is 00:21:41 I'm getting my knob polished weekly my man Weekly okay, well, I'm sorry, I'm getting my knob polished weekly, my man. Weekly. Okay, well that's- I'm gonna put a key in my- Ooh, I'm gonna take it out. My key's not working, I'm gonna put it in and out. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. God, I'm trying to get into my apartment so I can fuck my window! Can't I just get in?

Starting point is 00:22:00 See, see, see, see. Now she's grabbing your knockers. I'm trying to get home so I can fuck my window Trying to get homes like in fuck my window. I gotta get home and fuck my window. Try telling that to the therapist. That stuck fly is a lucky lady. Mm-hmm. Can you read this for this for this for this for this for this beginning of COVID, I was literally, you know, those wet wipes

Starting point is 00:22:25 when they were wiped on your groceries. And like, I was polishing every knob in my house multiple times, just always polishing those knobs. Oh yeah. And everyone, you can use that sound for whatever you want. That sounds like that's what's happened. You can use it for whatever, wherever, whatever you need it for.

Starting point is 00:22:41 Job interviews, children's birthdays Black male I Didn't also polish my knobs put some sausage around it And I'm third again So Aaron so you're ready just pay off the rule of three Pay it off in a big way. It just makes sense. Up the row is. She's putting the ball on the tee, fell off the tee. Okay, it's panic. I hope my clothes swallow me up.

Starting point is 00:23:13 Okay, what does that have to do with Polish? Just trying to get out of here. What's that do? Okay, reading again, my first is foremost legally. Okay, my second. Okay, okay, so Aaron, what do you think? My first is foremost legally. My second. My second. Okay, so Aaron, what do you think? My first is foremost legally. So foremost legally, you always have to swear on the Bible.

Starting point is 00:23:35 Okay, I have a question. How many are there? Is there five? Four. Four. All right, what are there four of? Seasons? Ooh, that's great.

Starting point is 00:23:46 And legally. Women and sex in the city. And there's an order, because it's my first, my second, my third, my fourth, and then my whole is this gate's only key. So whatever the whole is has to be the key to this door, to this gate. Mm-hmm. Is that a dollar?

Starting point is 00:24:06 There's four feeders. There's four skin. There's four musketeers. If you count the other, they made an iron mask. I heard, I heard you say four skin. I heard it. Thank you. Four.

Starting point is 00:24:23 I mean, if we're saying things that we heard earlier in the episode, Aaron was talking about a show that her mom had her watch and she said, my mom turned me on and I said nothing. I know, and that's why I tried to talk fast. I said nothing. Because I knew what would happen. I would get in trouble because Aaron's mom listens.

Starting point is 00:24:39 And if I went on this long rant about how Aaron's mom turns me on, I would get in trouble. And I'd be crying not to get into trouble anymore. When you're around so many funny boys, like, I am all the time, I'm around two funny boys all the time you're both being funny. You have to talk really quickly when you accidentally say something sexual, so they don't have things need oxygen to breathe.

Starting point is 00:25:07 And so to live. So like, their jokes can't live if I don't give them space for their jokes. You understand? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And I just like to say, not even a joke. There's nothing funny about it,

Starting point is 00:25:20 nothing constructed about it. Wasn't written, wasn't, what, no laugh? What? No laugh? Just not a joke? Just a Freudian slip. Just a Freudian slip. Freudian slip. Freudian, Freudian.

Starting point is 00:25:30 Oh, Mr. Freudian. Mr. Freudian slip. Oh, Mr. Freudian, my dad. I mean, I love you. I mean penis, Mr. Freudian. That's it. That's the finnacamishel. Nothing, nothing is better than that joke.

Starting point is 00:25:43 Yes. I mean penis, Mr. Freudian Pita's mr. Freud. Oh Mr. Frodo I want to fuck my dad. I mean kill the ring Oh mr. Frodo Okay, that's that is a lot of fun Outstanding okay, what are there four of? Out of it, but I'm I'm I'm saying right now. I'm naming this episode Freudio Freudo is

Starting point is 00:26:09 Yo-yin so Pro-yowian slip I want the Distrovery I mean I want to fuck my family I Tcby my sister. I mean to. I need to. T-C-B-Y, my sister, I mean. There is a hint. Ken does provide a hint. I think the hint is gonna give it away, but.

Starting point is 00:26:30 I'm ready. Ken says it's a spelling riddle, so spelling is a big part of this. I'll read it one more time. Oh, so maybe the word is door, D-O-O-R, and the keyhole is the O in the middle or something? I'll read it one more time. Yes. My first is foremost legally. My second circles outwardly.

Starting point is 00:26:48 My third leads all in victory. My fourth twice ends in nominee. My whole is this gate's only. Love. Love. Guys. L is for the L legal. The Lee.

Starting point is 00:27:03 He's going. for the Ellie Golele. Oh, circles outwardly. V leads all in the victory. E twice ends the word. Nama need. All right, everybody, go right to your computer. I'm going to need you to put that audio over the beginning of the parent trap instead of regular love song. I just want to hear that.

Starting point is 00:27:25 I want to watch that as Quaid be here. Here's what I want to see. I want to see a remake of the parent trap, but it's basically like saw where they chain their two parents into a room and they have to pass a series of games. I think that's just property brothers. I want to see a scene. Aaron and JPC, you are, you are a couple who have had kids broke up I have never seen parent trap, but I assume that's it's amazing. You have to watch that It's it's actually wildly fucked up parents like twins trying to get their parents back together Is that right? It's so good. I love parent trap one went to live with either one did they know about each other or they discovered each other Summer camp or something at summer camp. Yeah, um, so you two are a couple who have broken up and but it's fucks because the parents know about each other or they discovered each other summer camp or something? That summer camp, yeah. So you two are a couple who have broken up and-

Starting point is 00:28:07 But it's Fox because the parents know about them. That's so fucked up. That's messed and not tell someone you have a twin. So you two are a couple and your children have parent trapped you meaning they've put you in this sort of gruesome, saw, ask, what is that called, torture porn room? Yeah, and you have to sort of pass a series of tests. I hear you're engaged now. That's I'm very happy for you.

Starting point is 00:28:35 Jesus, Marcella, can we not talk about this? Now I just saw it off my own fucking pinky. I just saw it off my own pinky. Oh, okay, are we bragging? I ripped out three of my teeth. I know that it off my own pinky. Oh, okay. Are we bragging? I ripped out three of my teeth I know that we're all hurting you and pinky is nothing you'll still be able to balance and walk and function I'm just saying congratulations. I'm sure you'd be very happy Thank you. Yes, we're I we're very happy together

Starting point is 00:28:58 Excellent all right. I have to it says here. Let me oh, sorry. I don't have my glasses. All right. Let's see Oh, you're wearing glasses now I have to, it says here, let me, oh, sorry, I don't have my glasses. All right, let's see. I have to. You're wearing glasses now. Did you like them? I feel like I look foolish. No, I mean, they, I've always said that you're, you have a face that could frame any accessory. You're blushing.

Starting point is 00:29:18 No, I'm just losing blood because I can't seem to stunch this pinky wound. That's so sweet. I'm supposed to dig a key out from your stomach using only my hands. All right, let's see how do we? You haven't touched my body in 17 years. My hands are cold and so is your body. That feels horrible.

Starting point is 00:29:40 Yeah, you're digging your hands into my stomach. OK, this feels bad. This feels bad. Is that new cologne? You smell different than how I remember you. I pissed myself when I was cutting the piquiol. We got them back together. What I was gonna say is I would love to hear just like an absolute Vegas style crooner Together, together, but it did it it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did know the words anyway and X. Oh yes, I love phones are he

Starting point is 00:30:27 banana. Help is for oh god, help fuck me oh fuck. Hell is for the line I wish I knew. Well that everyone I know it's not June yet, but please go watch Leslie Agams sing June is Busting out on all over on YouTube where she forgets all the words except the words June is Busting out all over. Maybe I don't know, I won't, we can cut this part out, but maybe Casey can play the audio of it here because it is the funniest thing in the world. Surely we don't have the rights. No, I mean, it's an old YouTube video.

Starting point is 00:31:03 Yeah, and we're doing commentary, so that's with the sub sort of a legal way. If we make fun of it then we're protected by parody law. Yeah. Mm-hmm. You're protected. Thank you, parody. You're very welcome. Sorry, do we not mention that our lawyer is a parrot? Our lawyer is a parrot that wears a little suit. He's perched right up there. He's very very cute. It's my poem about our parent. That's your poem. Please, I'm being sued. Stop just repeating what I'm asking you. All right, you're fucked. All right, well, you know what that means, guys. Our parent says we're fucked, so we now have to go into a little meeting where we talk to our parent, we talk, we explore all of our legal options, parent trap.

Starting point is 00:31:42 And order to fund our parent trap, we really, really have to place them ads. These ads are gonna keep us out of any sort of legal trouble. Thank you so much for listening. A is for the ads you're about to hear. My feet beat your head, break your neck, break your neck. RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP Hey GPC. Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Adal.

Starting point is 00:32:15 And I'm setting up a website to prank him. Um, can I just need some advice? This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking app. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stay in doubt and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand,

Starting point is 00:32:35 Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website. It gays with your audience. And so let anything for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here. Come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank GPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him.

Starting point is 00:32:54 Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch, you can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just sending up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics, use insights

Starting point is 00:33:26 to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website, the prank site too. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace.

Starting point is 00:33:41 Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. Yeah, the website was for. Frank. With Squarespace. Yes, Rinses. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party Tools to extend the functionality of your website.

Starting point is 00:33:59 Hey, JPC, hey, JPC. What's up, battle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back. She's back.

Starting point is 00:34:17 Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adel and JPC. Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an impasse. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way.

Starting point is 00:34:43 I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? There never truly is a middle of the woods. No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually.

Starting point is 00:34:56 So as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try better help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Because sometimes Aaron in life we're faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you owl owl. Sorry, that also

Starting point is 00:35:24 does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you ow, ow, ow, sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Mmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods.

Starting point is 00:35:54 Isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Oh, dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. Mmm.

Starting point is 00:36:10 And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. H-E-L-P dot com slash riddle r-i-d-d-l-e r-i-d-d-l-e the middle of riddles of D but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the middle of the two D. I am home.

Starting point is 00:36:38 I am home. Who are we? What is this? I, clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday, and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite,

Starting point is 00:36:57 my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Bunny. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Huh? Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much,

Starting point is 00:37:20 especially around tax season. Kling, kling, kling, kling, kling. Sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly, and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel. And Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Kling, cling, cling.

Starting point is 00:37:36 Mm-hmm. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off. I'm clinging. You didn't clink. Over 3 million. Well, cling, cl. Over three million, over three million people have used rocket money saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rock. Stop.

Starting point is 00:37:55 Stop. No, click, click, click, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwirted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. Rockatmoney.com slash riddle. And tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money, the website. It will be rugged money. And we're about to come back from the episode but before we do I need a password Password the password is

Starting point is 00:38:40 But okay, but spelled how oh Z but not what you think it would be. Right this way. Come on in. I love this show. It's consistent. At least it's consistent. It's nothing. This is all nothing, but it's consistent. It's consistently nothing. It's consistently nothing, and that's why we love it. Now, speaking of things that we love, I'm just going to put this into the zoom frame slowly so everyone can see the book that's coming into the zoom frame That's right. That's right. It's our old friend the blue book which we Canonically do not like on this show I just pulled out three of my teeth for real. Are you happy?

Starting point is 00:39:18 There goes my pinky toe. Are you happy? We've been using this book since the inception of us doing the show since the beginning we've been using this book I don't even think we're halfway through it Happy? I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I- That's uncanny. Pretty great. I think the reason, because we did use this in episode one and several times after, I think the reason we haven't reached the end of this book is that it's some sort of necronomicon or demon curse book and it keeps writing more pages. It never ends. It's, we've died and we've gone inside this book. Well, that's what you said about Pride and Prejudice and I just think you found it boring and you're having a hard boring. I stand by it. I stand by it.

Starting point is 00:40:07 At no point does anybody use the title it doesn't make sense. Here's what I think would make that movie better. You told me it was about Too God's name Pride and Prejudice. Well, okay, so you there's been I think the movie version of Pride and Prejudice what you do to make that better Is about an hour and 45 minutes in, Bob Odenkirk shows up. If it works for Little Women, it will work for Pride and Prejudice. That is my philosophy. That might be the hardest I've laughed at any movie. That's better than any hard joke in any comedy, is Bob Odenkirk showing up an hour into Little Women.

Starting point is 00:40:39 Because he looks like a character from a Mr. Show sketch and that. He should be in any period piece. No, no, because he's Bob Odenkirk. Like, if he played King Arthur, like, get the fuck out of here, what if we did Looks like a character from a Mr. Show sketch and that he should be and he shouldn't be in any period piece no No, because he's Bob Hodenkirk like if he played King Arthur like get the fuck out of here What if we did okay? So we're gonna make a movie and it's gonna be called pride and pre Judas and what it is is It's a pride of lines. You just can soak it you pregnant and it's just thank you and it's it's Judas before he met Jesus and And that's all I have an origin story

Starting point is 00:41:01 before he met Jesus. And that's all I have. Oh, an origin story. Mm-hmm. Honestly, yeah, I bet fucking Todd Phillips is right now optioning a Judas origin story. That's because he can't make comedies anymore. Comedy's too PC, but Judas, he's like, A.G. man.

Starting point is 00:41:20 The original Joker, Judas. Judas was truly the original Joker. Damaged. You wanna know how I got invited to this last supper? The original Joker, Judas. Judas was truly the original Joker damaged. You want to know how I got invited to this last supper? You want to know how I got this silver? Give it all the Oscars. Let white men masturbate to the thought of this kind of evil. Good art, Todd Phillips.

Starting point is 00:41:42 Fuck you. Fuck you. I had to completely open all the windows of my house and light candles and listen to folk music to try to get rid of the evil of that movie from my house. Who do you think would play, who do you think would play Judas in the Todd Phillips version of Vince and Denon Braille? An angry video game controller.

Starting point is 00:42:01 Oh, mental videos. An angry video controller. Oh. Uh, Jared Leto and an angry video game controller. Oh, man, I'll do this. I'm angry with you, I'm gonna do it. Jared Leto and an angry video game controller in Judas. In Escaria, that's what they call him. Oh, yeah. Uh, here we go.

Starting point is 00:42:16 This one is, this is from a section of the, um, uh, book called Tricky Puzzles and they are awfully tricky. This one's called foreign cure. Why does an American fly to another country in the hope of finding a cure for his illness? That's the whole rental, that's bad. He should have a great healthcare infrastructure here and other countries have a speed. I don't know. I mean, that's probably true. No, if you've got, well, I guess it doesn't really cost a lot to fly to another country, especially nowadays. Take it's probably pretty cheap. If you want to go to another country, that was the time.

Starting point is 00:42:56 And I want you're from people in Australia, if I'm remembering this correctly, but I'm pretty sure, and this is even sound bad when I first say it, but when I get to the end it'll make sense. They have like an eye for an eye policy in terms of their healthcare for people visiting or living there for other countries. So they go, okay, well, how do you treat our citizens when they're there? And that's how well we're gonna treat you.

Starting point is 00:43:16 And it's, and that amazing though, so like they're terrible to Americans. They're like, oh, if an Australian person broke their arm there, they'd owe you $70,000 and then like, have to say the pledge of allegiance. So if you break your arm here, we're gonna be shitty to you. But if you're from fucking Holland,

Starting point is 00:43:29 where we'd be treated like kings and queens, you can have good health care. And I just looked it up. Apparently it's officially a goodoi for a goodoi policy. So that's, Wow. And that's for you, sweet Australian. I love it here.

Starting point is 00:43:44 Oh, so I think I know the answer to your little tricky problem. Okay. What it is is that this person in America has come down with a case of the Maria's. So they're flying to Austria because how do you cure a case of Maria's? I think you barely paid attention for that movie. Oh, don't move me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, You sound insane. What is that, what, that's, what is that? The sound of music?

Starting point is 00:44:27 Music makes sound. That's like saying the feel of touch. What are we doing? No, no. It's better than them going the taste of music. Then you can do your whole stand-up routine. The taste of music. Huh?

Starting point is 00:44:39 Music doesn't know the taste. But this is like saying the taste of flavor. The sound of music. Yeah. By the way, the taste of music is the tagline for the new wine that I'm bottling now. And I must say, my bathtub is ruined. And I rent. I'd also say that wine is ruined.

Starting point is 00:45:01 Well, okay, so do you guys want some hints? I think you're maybe gonna need some hints. I don't want them, but we need them. So, there's a lot to unpack here. He didn't go abroad for drugs, medicines, treatments, or cures that were unavailable in the United States. So it wasn't for like, you know, some Swiss clinic or something like that.

Starting point is 00:45:19 His illness was curable given the right motivation. Now, I'll take an issue with curable there, but okay. That's what's that. Oh, do you want some place that was summer or winter or something? Like, yeah, that's a good guess because now you're thinking like a little bit

Starting point is 00:45:36 outside the box. Oh, does he have like Greek diabetes? Adal. Adal. It's like diabetes, but with Feta. Oh. Oh. Adal. It's like diabetes but with feta. Adal, we have begged you. Baked you on the podcast. Stop saying Greek diabetes.

Starting point is 00:45:53 Yeah, okay guys. He said it every single episode. And this is the one we're not going to cut out. Let the people come for you, Adal. I tried to shorten it to Greek ametes. And you guys said that sounded like some sort of Roman God. Okay, ametes, Greek Roman God. Okay, meaties, great good meaties. Um, sorry, I interrupted your hints because I thought I had the answer.

Starting point is 00:46:10 Uh, yeah, it says this illness was curable given the right motivation. I don't know that it's curable. Um, okay. To that extent. Um, and then the last hint, he went to an Arab country. Ooh, okay. So let's list all the Arab countries. Okay.

Starting point is 00:46:32 Is there a song for it? Lebanon gives us bright, nice colors. It gives us the greens in yellows. Mama don't take Leba. Non-away. Mama don't take lab by non-away mama don't take my lab on also can you look at the front of this book JPC and tell me when it was published I think it was published in the 80s I believe so the United Arab Emirates oh I'm sorry God Jesus Lord 97. It was published in 97 so

Starting point is 00:47:06 Yeah, man, Omen. I Rack Omen So I think that the only way to do this is in the only song that it fits to is the Poke rap So I think it's Algeria, Bahraink, So I think it's Algeria, Bahrain, Camero's Islands, Djibouti, Egypt, Iraq, and Jordan, Kuwait, Lebanon, Libya, Morocco.

Starting point is 00:47:29 These are the breaks. I thought the Pokewrap was gonna be like raw fish, tuna fish, got some salmon and some celery. Pellestoy, cutter. Yes, the mussels. Boba Sorsari Arabia, Somalia, Sudan, Ivisora, Syria. One time at Bel Somalia Sudan, I've a Sorceria. One time at Belmont and Clark,

Starting point is 00:47:48 I was very hungover. I got pokey, ate it on the street, threw up the pokey into a trash can at that very same street corner. You guys, I gotta do a Chicago walk and tour before I move. There are some memories. Aaron, that was when you were trying to mimic Billy Eichner

Starting point is 00:48:03 right and you were doing Aaron's pokey on the the street and you're screaming at people while eating poke. So I think the reason why the Arab country matters is because culturally the disease that is afflicting this person is something that is, I won't say it's not allowed in those countries. But the... Oh, you only had one wife? that is, I won't say is not allowed in those countries, but the... Oh, he only had one wife. No, one wife atitis? I'm addicted to my wife.

Starting point is 00:48:32 People don't know your background at all, so when you say that, they think. Your white dude saying that. I am Palestinian. I am Palestinian. I am Palestinian. And the reason I didn't mention Palestine is one of the first Arab states

Starting point is 00:48:44 is because it's not on any mapper globe It's it's not recognized. It's not recognized. That's not recognized anyway. My family has no country. Mm-hmm At least my old men in the family. I'll country forward man. Oh, Carmichael Carthage. Are you okay? I don't think so um, so I don't think so. So he said it's something that's illegal in the Arab states. In some, yes.

Starting point is 00:49:12 And he's not traveling there to obtain a medicine, but he is traveling there because of access to the thing that is impacting him. Huh. This is very confusing. So, like, is something illegal here that's legal there? Opposite. So, illegal there.

Starting point is 00:49:39 It's illegal here that's illegal there. Is this a plan words? It's like smoking or. Oh, oh, close, close, close. Not smoking. Drinking. Mm. That's why I was tripped up because the book says that that that it would cure him and I'm like, well, no.

Starting point is 00:49:54 So he's an alcoholic and he's going over there so he's not tempted to drink. Exactly. He's an alcoholic. He's an alcoholic who is moving. Better rehab. This is dead. This is dead.

Starting point is 00:50:04 Dead. Stop. Dead C. Stop. Who is moving? This is dead. Who is moving on? Dead. Stop. Dead C stop. This is the first riddle. This is the first riddle. I never in my life imagine the answer to a riddle would be an alcoholic. Yeah. Very insensitive.

Starting point is 00:50:16 Very insensitive. People are a little insensitive. Yeah. Well, it's also insensitive in the book that this book says that it cures him. It's like, oh yeah, alcoholism. You can get cured of that. You're better, you're done. Yeah, never have to think about it ever again.

Starting point is 00:50:29 Pretty wild. No, I totally understand the sentiment behind this of like, oh, it's easier to drink and stay sober. If you have a sober community or an activity you enjoy that we're everyone's sober, but let's move to this part of the world because culturally they don't drink as much. I will say, just move to the, move to the cliffs of sober.

Starting point is 00:50:50 I will say that I do think, you gotta be careful along the cliffs of sober, especially if you've been drinking. I will say that, I'm mercy just, I'm mercy you're silent. I'm a cliffs of dover. I think I told this story, but I literally almost fell off the cliffs of dover. True think I've told this story, but I literally almost fell off the cliffs of Dover. True story.

Starting point is 00:51:06 Did you sneeze and then fall backwards and sometimes you would cartoon way? I was crawling down to get close to the cliffs and I got to a point where I couldn't climb back up and I was on a tiny like one-foot ledge and I started screaming for my friend and he had to like go grab somebody else and they had to form like a human chain to pull me up. It was terrifying. It was a scariest moment of my life. I almost fell off the cliffs of Dover. What I was gonna say is I think that like, immersing yourself in another culture is a really good way

Starting point is 00:51:30 to like pick up and learn and understand the culture, especially that's what they recommend for like language. Like, you know, four years of high school Spanish is not gonna teach you Spanish, but like, you know, going to Mexico and living in Mexico or working in a place where they only speak Spanish is a way to like a mercy self but yeah again that doesn't seem to be what this guy was doing he seems like he wants to take a short

Starting point is 00:51:51 there are no shortcuts there's only twelve small steps and that's the only way out of that that's not so short cuts but there's there's many ways out johnny five is alive there's five is alive in thatelaide, you say it holds up because of how not- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no was like, kifal, like mup suh toh mdlaah, you know, bismillahirrahmanirrahim. I said all this Arabic and then after a show, two white people came up and they're like, disgusting.

Starting point is 00:52:30 And I was like, sorry, and they're like, for you to just speak gibberish and say, like you're speaking Arabic as a white person, that's disgusting. And I was like, oh, I'm a Palestinian. And they're like, okay, well, we couldn't possibly tell that. So, we're so sorry.

Starting point is 00:52:42 But they were like looking for a confrontation to call me out. And I was like, oh, I speak some Arabic and I'm a Palestinian. So I'm okay. And they're like, we're sorry. There's no way, by looking at you, we couldn't tell. So that's still your phone. And their defense, people, male comedians

Starting point is 00:53:03 have got on stage and done the most horrendous things. Yes, to be fair, yes, yes, yes. So their knee jerk reaction, though not the best timing, uh, may make sense to me. Well, like the singer, like the singer of cherry pie, they are warranted. I will say, I mean, good on them. We need more white people stepping up and, uh, saving, saving us. So I hope that those, I hope that there's still a lot here. Do you know what?

Starting point is 00:53:28 Hold on, hold on. JPC, we need more white people stepping up. She you're saying that Canon should be replaced. Wow, I'm saying step up three, step up three, the streets when they just went with it all white cast. When it was just donkey in the boys. Okay, so this is the next one. Spies are us.

Starting point is 00:53:48 During World War I, two German spies often ate at the same restaurant, but they never sat together. How did they pass information? These clever German spies. Gotta be alphabet soup. They're Czechs. They're, um, they're Germans.

Starting point is 00:54:04 They're Germans here. They, they, they, no, no, that's funny. And I like that kind of joke, but I'm being serious. German, please. Um, they're checks. They're, um, menus. Uh, they pretended they were kids and they colored at the table and colored something in the specials. They would list the specials and it would be, uh, I was like, I was like, see, I was like, oh, you are too slow. Yeah. In, um, so you you are too slow, sir. In Tallah's Anya. So you two are spies at a restaurant trying to pass information along to each other. And maybe this is your first time doing this and maybe you're not great at it.

Starting point is 00:54:36 Good evening, sir. I'm the matri-spidee. Matr-dee. Can I offer you a table? Perhaps you'd like to sit by the window. Yes, that's, that's fine. I would like to sit in a place in the restaurant where I couldn't get a good view where I could spy a net. That's by anything. Just to see, I got to win the window would be perfect for me. Thank you. Yes.

Starting point is 00:55:06 No, thank you, Donka. I mean, thank you. Let's get you to the window. Of course, our special today, and I'm the matredee, but I might as well cut out the middleman and tell you the special. I have to apologize because I am a Texas oil man. Yes. and I was talking like that is a joke. Yes, and I, okay, so are our special agents for today? Sorry, our specials for today are chicken spy, thigh, and the whole. And does that code come? Does that come with a side of anything, partner you took it off part of the hole. Do you think I am dumb? We are at an Applebee's in the middle of Indiana and you don't think I would recognize her

Starting point is 00:55:56 accents. There's no one in here. You've done too much. I heard you say the code and it was oh shoot. I cut you off before you said the code. Pretend I'm not here. I am part of I'm an Applebee's. I like it more treaty. Go. I am also part of Applebee's partner. And, uh, I'm Arthini would be good for me as well.

Starting point is 00:56:20 G Willikers, I am from a Tennessee. Yes, and I am not an evil spy and you two are not good spies trying to communicate and if one of you had to say a code Do the other then this would be a great spot because we're all just people Yes, I'll just get you the spy gatty and we'll call it a day partner Tennessee See Tennessee. Tennessee. Tennessee. Tennessee.

Starting point is 00:56:47 Tennessee. Tennessee, anyone? Okay. Mmm. So is it, is it all of the guesses here, but none of them were correct. And alphabet soup was wrong? And alphabet soup, Adel was so wrong, I barely wanted to deem it, respondable. And their orders?

Starting point is 00:57:04 No. Oh, texting? Yes, this is World War I, and they were texting. They had sidekicks with boost mobile. Excuse me, sir, I can't help but notice that a carrier pigeon keeps flying between these two questions. And it's distracting. All right, would you guys like some clues?

Starting point is 00:57:22 Yes, please. Obviously, yes, we are very lost. Can we have the clue of the Yes, please. Obviously, yes, we are very lost. Can we have the clue of the day, please sir, waiter? They went to the restaurant as paying customers. No codes were used and they never spoke to each other or sat near each other. Telepathy? They dressed in similar clothes.

Starting point is 00:57:41 Okay. Those are terrible clues. They're waiters. No, they're customers. They were both paying customers. They weren't waiters eating a shift meal. Okay, so they didn't use any codes. So I'm baffled. So if they said it, separate tables, was it that the tables were separate by right next

Starting point is 00:58:01 to each other and they were just openly talking? They were never near each other. They were never even near each other. Dinner theater. Mmm. One talk, we're spending time talking to the phone. Again, this is World War One, so... I know, but I...

Starting point is 00:58:15 They had phones back then, but they were just like... Phones look like they were. But they were still phones. At the table. Aaron mimed a violin. No, I didn't. I mimed one of these. Hello. Fones look like this.

Starting point is 00:58:27 Who is this? It's me, the past. Do a picture book. I mimed one of those. Oh, okay. So it's World War One. They talked with their guns. They talked with their diseases. Yeah, they let their guns and diseases do the talking.

Starting point is 00:58:41 They sang Silent Night in the One Night of Peace. No, they never talked to each other. They never talked. They say silent night in the one night of peace. No, they never talk to each other. They never talk. They didn't use code. Did they use their uniforms in some way or their outfits? So yes, in the fact that they wore similar clothes is very important. So was it something, let's see, similar clothes?

Starting point is 00:59:00 They wore color to send a message to each other. Like, both were blue. Let's wear big red hat with a flower on it. They could have done this. They could have passed the information to each other without ever even really seeing each other. So it wasn't about the color of their clothes, but the clothes do matter,

Starting point is 00:59:19 but it wasn't about the color of their clothes. Or anything truly visual that you would see outside of someone's clothes. No. It was a tiny bell. It wasn't about sounds. Sound does not play any part of it. No. Site. Taste. Yeah, give us a give us one. I guess site. I guess site would be the one that plays the biggest hit. So site is the biggest hint, but they also didn't need to see each other to pass this code. Yeah, I mean, it's a exactly. They didn't exactly. They didn't need to see each other to pass this code. Yeah, I mean, it's a exactly. They didn't exactly, they didn't need to see each other, but they needed to see something,

Starting point is 00:59:52 but they didn't need to see each other and ask do with their clothes. Were they both holding up askots that were white to like wave a white flag kind of thing? No, not askots and not, and again, they wouldn't need to see each other. Askots. Ty. But I do like, I do like that train of thoughts. So think about this. It's, you know, it's the 1910s. What kind of other clothing,

Starting point is 01:00:10 old-timey clothing things are people wearing. Aaron, to get in the spirit, let's talk like this. All right. Speaking of spirit, Charles Inberg. Okay, let's see. Was it cufflinks? Downton Abbey cufflinks. Top hats?

Starting point is 01:00:22 Top hats? Oh, a 23-scaroo. Ooh, I'll take it to the Titanic. What's those little thing? Monaco, they go. We were on a break, Monaco. You guys had, what of them was corrected there? Wait.

Starting point is 01:00:36 Wait, let's go back through. I'll take it to the Titanic, I'm Monaco. Who's the do's? Corset, a little pan to that doesn't go all the way down. Let's keep going. Oh, Corset, I love laym that doesn't go all the way down. Let's keep going. Oh, Corset, I love lame-ins. Yeah. How did you get, how did you miss it that time, though?

Starting point is 01:00:49 You had it the first time. All right, who were we five minutes ago? Top hat? We said top hat, corses. Yes. Top hat. So hats. Back then, if you're a gentleman, you're wearing a hat out.

Starting point is 01:01:01 Yeah. But you wouldn't wear a hat at the table, right? You wouldn't wear it backwards to send the message to your friend. Whoa, that could just admit the backwards hat. We're beans. He's wearing a top hat backwards. I can't really tell. Digest in bad cool beans. Cool beans. I want to see a beans. I want to see a beans. JPC and Aaron, you are in the early 1900s and each of you, what kind of hanging out,

Starting point is 01:01:27 each of you discovers or invents a certain phrase or thing that is popular nowadays. Well, both you're staring out the window. What are you thinking about? I'm just thinking about mortality and the slow crawl and we're all getting we're all getting older and soon we'll be 40 and we'll be dead. I know you are but what am I? Wait, I'm sorry. I know what you are but what am I? I think I just didn't meant to the airplane. Give me a piece of paper quickly. Give me a small of that opium that we've been smoking. Yes.

Starting point is 01:02:07 Ah, puff puff. This is medicine. Ah, yes. Sorry, did you say you wanted some paper? Here you go. Oh, I dropped it. How rude, mister. Wait, what was that?

Starting point is 01:02:17 How rude, mister. I think you just invented women voting. Quick, write that down. Did I do that? I don't know what to do now I fucked it so bad. I messed it up so bad. I fucked it so bad I'm like a guy in a relationship when he ruins everything. Well, this is a mess time to go I think you just invented women voting. You guys, by the way, you two were both circling the answer of this verbal. Just circling

Starting point is 01:02:55 these. They kept their hats on. No. They took their hats on. Yes. Aaron, pretty soon I'm gonna dump sand on you cause this episode you are on fire. Oh. Oh. I kept their hats off. They did their hats off. You can leave your hat on. So, so typically when you go in a restaurant you take your hat off.

Starting point is 01:03:15 So they didn't, they did take their hats off. Yes. So hats off, that's off. That's how they do it. Oh, they switch hats on the way out. They take each other's hats. Bingo bingo hot hot. The information was stored in the hat band.

Starting point is 01:03:30 The secret message that they were lying each other was stored in the hat band. They came to the restaurant staggered. They had identical hats, but one would take the other's hat when they left so they could pass the information. I got to say I'm sorry. I am so sorry. That is that is garbage. If you get up to leave, you pay your tab, you get up to leave. I got to say I'm sorry. I am so sorry. That is that is garbage if you

Starting point is 01:03:45 Get up to leave you pay your tab you get up to leave you walk across the restaurant to a different table and grab that hat That's just what the fuck are you doing? That's suspicious as fine to do the bad bad to do with the date Leave with the date you came in with the case is an alphabet soup made more sense now Traditionally, they would not keep the hat at the table with them. They would put it at a hat rack in the code check of the restaurant. So they would have just pick up someone else's hat. How did they know what the hat rack, who's hat is what?

Starting point is 01:04:15 Exactly. That's what hat rack. Clap. Clap. Can I tell you, clap, clap, hats. At that hat rack? When I was younger, I have a vivid memory of being at the Indianapolis Country Club,

Starting point is 01:04:29 which my grandfather was a member, and being in their coat room, and I was very young, and just looking at all of the coats in that coat room, and I was sent in to go get my coat, and I just came out with another coat, because I thought what it was was just this huge room. It was like a full of coats.

Starting point is 01:04:46 It was like, leave a penny, take a penny. Yeah, like anyone can wear any coat. And I was so confused. I was like, what do you mean? Like, oh, there's no one's wearing any of the coats in there. That's amazing. You treated the coat room as those like early 1990s,

Starting point is 01:05:02 phone booths you go in with the money flying everywhere. And you just grabbed many belts. Yeah, you just possible. I go, go in with the money flying everywhere and you just grab as many bells as possible. I go away and with my hands so fucking sticky with honey. I try to grab as many coats as I could. The craziest thing I ever saw someone try to get away with was someone did that and I was at Beauty Bar in Chicago and they have a like coat room that you can check your code into.

Starting point is 01:05:24 Sure. So you can dance to the hits. And it was like January and I went dancing and I was walking out and I saw a girl wearing my coat. And it's my favorite coat. I don't know if you guys remember it. It's like, looks like a founding father coat. It's purple, like light purple. Oh yeah.

Starting point is 01:05:38 It rains on it. Wow. I thought there's 0% chance I remember a specific coat Aaron had, but nope. I did. That's very sweet. It's my favorite coat and I wore a specific coat Aaron had but no I did. That's very sweet. It's my favorite coat and I wore it like every day for three years. So it was my favorite coat and no one I've never seen anyone else have it other than Nick on New Girl once wore it and I was like what? But anyways, she was walking out with my coat and I was like, that's my coat.

Starting point is 01:06:02 And she was like, oh, they gave me this one. I'm, and she was like, looked totally fine leaving and she was like, I'm drunk. I'm so drunk. I don't even know if I can't, I'm drunk. And as if I just feel back and fix it and we went back up and she had like a short black puffer coat and I was like, come on.

Starting point is 01:06:23 They made a mistake and you were like, oh shit, that coat's gorgeous and you thought you'd get away with it. But her trying to make herself seem drunker in such a short amount of time. She was like, her boy started like here and then she like, go down to here. She was like, I'm drunk, I'm drunk, I'm drunk, I'm not.

Starting point is 01:06:40 I quit. This same thing happened to me today. As you know, we record this on a Monday. On Monday, Duncan Donuts does a free coffee if you make any other purchase. So I told Mariah put it in an order. If you want something, I'll pick it up for you. I dropped spaghetti off at camp.

Starting point is 01:06:55 I went to Duncan. They handed me one coffee. I put it in with my car. And then they handed me two more coffees. And I did not know what Mariah ordered. And I was like, maybe she got two coffees, like maybe the fucking world is hard. And that's just what we all need in our days. But it was not the case, but I didn't have time to check because I was like,

Starting point is 01:07:13 I don't know, just give me these things. And I got home and I got someone named Nome D. So Nome N-O-A-M-D, I drink your coffee today and I got to say my man, that shit sucks. Five, ten, one, Splenda, Five, two, one, Splendda. Five, two, one, Splendda. No, I took four sips of that coffee and then another eight and I hated it.

Starting point is 01:07:31 That's a good one. But it was free and I wasn't gonna waste that. And I did pour out half of it, no, because that's a bad coffee order. No, Mdomsky, if you're listening. And before we lose the thread, Aaron, I do wanna say you talked about your favorite coat. If there are any listeners out there who have a 1995 starter lineup jacket featuring

Starting point is 01:07:51 the Charlotte Hornets that's reversible, the inside is teal, but can be swapped out for the black portion to be interior. Please DM me, I'm willing to pay upwards of $40 for this coat. For shipping. For shipping. For shipping. The coat will be free and it will be a gift from you. That's my fur coat I've ever had. And I don't know, I lost it when I grew up and I'm so bummed.

Starting point is 01:08:12 So if anybody has that jacket, please let me know. What have you saw behind me right now? That would be pretty cool. But I have been collecting jackets. They're my favorite piece of clothing. I'm about to move to California. So if you are size six and you live in Chicago and you want a bunch of jackets, please DM me,

Starting point is 01:08:30 I will give you a jacket for free. Sounds like a very specific Craigslisting or a misconnection. You just gotta be like three people out there who are gonna want my shitty jackets. And I cannot stress this enough. That was Aaron speaking. If you were a size six that lives in Chicago, do not DM me. Mariah checks those. Okay. You guys keep getting me in trouble. I don't

Starting point is 01:08:51 stop it. Just stop. Not sending me your measurements. I don't care about the measurements. I don't want them. I don't want to know. I love mystery. I was on the train reading on the road. You were a size six who love jackets. That's me. Okay, okay. We must be serious and by that it's time for serious business. Does anyone have anything that they would like to plug? Adel, you raise your hand. You have something to plug? Yes, please. I have something big to plug that involves all of us. So the three of us, myself, JPC and Aaron, we are doing a spin-off series for Hello for the Magic Tavern. This is for Stitcher Premium.

Starting point is 01:09:29 It is a new series called Hey Tavern Tavern. It's seven episodes long. It is us giving relationship advice as our characters, Chant the Shape Shifter, Momo, the Mouse with Human Strength, and Horneelius the Fintar. So please check that out on Stitcher Premium. It comes out tomorrow, the 25th, Thursday, the 25th. And I do want to let you know that you can get a free month of Stitcher Premium to check it out if you go to Stitcher.com slash premium and select

Starting point is 01:09:57 a monthly plan and enter the code magic, MAGIC. Again, this is going to go for seven episodes, so we want you to check them out. So whenever you want to use that free trial, please do so. But yeah, that's Hay Tavern Tavern. Adel, does that come out weekly or is it like a one and done dump and jump pump and cramp? I believe it's going to be it's seven episodes over over the course of seven weeks and it should come out every Thursday. So please check that out. So use that free month as soon as the first episode drops. As we all know, and month is seven weeks. So you're telling me that for seven weeks, people can get content from us on a Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.

Starting point is 01:10:36 For now, they can. That's amazing, but also, I'm not to shit on the show or our Patreon. Please do it without shitting on the two things that we love the most. I can't. I have loved a lot of stuff that I've done with you guys. Those, we've recorded all of them, spoiler alert. We already recorded all of them. Those were truly some of my favorite things I've ever done with you guys. Like I would be dying laughing for days after some of those records.

Starting point is 01:11:04 Same. And I will throw this out now. My character has an arc in these seven episodes. I will not reveal what the arc is, but it is very subtle. It is very subtle. So if you think that you can guess it, please tweet at me what you think. My character's inspiration for the arc is when you hear it.

Starting point is 01:11:21 It's, like I said, guys, you're not going to get it, but take your shots. You're gonna get it right away. Aaron, Aaron, anything to promote? No, just check out that Magic Tavern series. It really is so joyous and like, they are, there's so many puns. There's just, their brains move so fast.

Starting point is 01:11:40 So many puns. And you can follow me, Aaron, keep 10 on Instagram. Just keep in mind, I mean, everyone's, most of the time people are really patient, people have been getting mad at me recently. It takes about a month for me to respond. Once a month, I take two days, and that's all I do all days, respond to your messages,

Starting point is 01:11:56 and I try to be specific, and I try to really read them. So just know that it might be a month before I get back to you, but I promise I will get back to you. Absolutely. I want to chime in real quick, just I forgot to mention it, and I would be remiss if I didn't mention it. I would be remiss congeniality.

Starting point is 01:12:11 Hey Tavern Tavern, the new series has a new theme song by Ernie Parrott. So I just want to mention that. JPC, anything to plug? Wow. So I would just like to say that, as you all know, Aaron is moving way to LA very soon, and we have a live show coming up. If you're listening to this, when it's coming out, we have a live show show coming up a live stream show on March 5th. We're live streaming from Chicago That could be the last time we do a live stream show for this foreseeable future just because we are all going to be in the same place

Starting point is 01:12:36 For that time. So maybe we'll get another one before Aaron leaves, but maybe not You can get tickets to that headgum.com slash live We've done too already that should be a ton of fun. We really love doing these livestream shows. They've been like highlights of my time in lockdown. And by that I mean, the only time I've been able to see other human beings. But anyway, headgump.com slash live

Starting point is 01:12:56 to get tickets to that, they are a lot of fun. Yeah. That's all I got. Oh, I had one more thing. We are doing a interplanetary takeover Starting with a very specific location Aaron. Do you want to announce the first location that we're doing that in? Yep us and the property brothers are going to Jupiter. Bye forever. I hate the fucking property brothers Hate love they finish each other's basements.

Starting point is 01:13:26 San Machines! Hey there, kitchens and sinks. If you like that, you're gonna love this week's Patreon. We play a brand new game show, and oh yeah, there are fabulous prizes on the line. You can listen to that plus our entire Batcadilog at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or the review crew for $8 a month. See you there!

Hey Riddle Riddle - #136: Frodoian Slip

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