Hey Riddle Riddle - #137: The Origin of Snark!

Episode Date: March 3, 2021

We're doing our very first all musical episode! Or maybe not! Sorry! We're having a grand ol' goofy time with Shakespearean tables, mad scientists playing god, know it alls, spelling bees, the trash of STOMP, the return of Wizzy and a quick escalation to end the show! How will it all play out? Give a listen and find out! #WiddleWednesdayStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. Hold on to your seat. Hey, you're in for the treat. It's the very first. Hey, Rittle. Oh, musical episode ja! This episode will not be all musical. In fact, the scene is up now. Musical guest! JPC! That is the most fun voice to do with musical guest Part of mud What's that name? Franz Ferdinand. That's who it is. It's not gonna be at all singing episode Well, not an all-music episode alright Yeah, what I thought was triangle on warm up my voice

Yeah, in the moment I was like let's do an all all musical episode, cause you know, Scrubs did it, and of course that's, you know, I'm testing it for them. Sure. We are following the template. Yeah, you guys, start rewatching Scrubs. Our episodes are direct match, one to one to their best.

We are a Scrubs fan cast. Uh huh. Hey, I got a question for you, Adel. If we are not doing an all musical episode, why did I get my pipes so stopping wet? I feel like I'm wetting my pipes all day. You have a leak. What pipes?

A leak, my man. Yeah, exactly, air and wet pipes. I said, what pipes, but... They are stopping what pipes. And if you are a first-timeless, we are a podcast that tries to solve improv, and along the way, we do riddles. Is that sound right?

Now let's be clear. We say that we are an improv podcast, but you as a listener might listen to other improv podcasts. They're out there, they're very good. And you're listening to our improv podcast and you think, well, is it an improv podcast? The scenes generally go on for about 45 seconds until someone breaks the reality completely and Then it's over the improv's done. Well, we are a specific Niche genre of improv podcast and that is we are over it Can I tell you recently I said to someone oh man, it's so weird that I haven't done improv in a year And they said aren't you on an improv podcast and I said I said what I said Not done improv in a year. We don't do improv. Yeah, I would be like like oh man

I haven't done improv in a year and people like what about the podcast? I'm like you're right. I haven't done good improv in a I'm like, you're right. I haven't done good improv in a year. I've been in my period of time. But in my view, honest, it's more like five years for me. It's always fucking wild to see someone on social media or email to the show that's like, I can't believe I learned improv from listening to you all. And I'm like, oh, no, like please.

Whoops. Well, I remember some pivotal improv experiences for me, watching things on stage in Chicago when I was like 17 years old, ooh, baby. Just things clickin', things stickin' in my brain, just magic sparks, fireworks, and the thought that what we do on this podcast could be that for someone else sickenst me to my fucking...

It keeps me up at night, everything's disgusting. We are raising a new generation of awful improvisers. Every generation needs an awful generation of horrible improvisers. And here we are. As an improv coach and teacher in Chicago, there were for granted for like what seven years, not five years, not a long time. You would see generations of improvisers and you would see star improvisers who were just so fucking, like, they so confident in their voice, naturally funny. They have a delivery, they have a cadence,

they have a style, very, very funny to watch. And then you would watch the wave of people who wanna imitate them come up afterwards. And then, if you're a teacher and a coach, you have to like, you have to see these, the people coming through and you're like, you're doing yourself a disservice first of all, because you are not that person.

You don't have what they have and you never will. Yeah. Because what they have, they didn't earn. Yeah. Well, it's also, yeah, I've taught so many people who are like, I stopped them. I'm like, you did this bad thing and they're like, well, blank does that bad thing.

And I'm like, you have to understand, that person has the biggest personality in the world and they can get away with anything. It's like I was watching the golden globes last night and I realized I'm like, oh, all acting is is being the most attractive person out of the million people around you. That's all acting is.

It's just being so attractive and then they put a camera on you. Absolutely. That's all acting is. Is just being so attractive, and then they put a camera on you. Absolutely. That's why I discovered from watching the Golden Gloves. I was so uncomfortable I could barely breathe watching that. Anyways, the two things that I wanted to say were, we sound like we don't love the show.

I love doing terrible improv. In fact, it's more fun than doing great improv. Yeah, that's true. I'll say I love the show I hate the hosts. No! The saddest is that you hate yourself. That's the worst thing that you implied. More than anyone. The other thing I wanted to say was in everyone's defense, I think I was one of those people who was copying people when I first moved Chicago. But my tactic was I was copying like three or four different people at once. Was there anyone that you like, we're stealing from a little bit when you moved?

I don't know, I don't know about stealing from, but like I didn't see them play a lot, but especially when I moved, because if I had, I think it probably would have ruined me and I would have done it, but like, a Conor O'Malley and Tim Robinson, both love to yell, and I also love to yell. So I can see that there's maybe like a parallel

between that, because I'll watch something that Conor O'Malley does, because he's on, you know, television shows now, and it'll just be him screaming, and I'll be something that Conor and Mally does because he's on you know television shows now and it'll just be him screaming and I'll be like dying laughing and I'm like yep there's nothing funnier than a funny person screaming so like Michael Hitchcock and a lot of the Christopher Guest movies yep Brett Lions and World News like Conor Mally like there's nothing funnier than a funny person screaming Conor and Mally and Jo's got are so funny on Joe Perra. Like, so funny. Dude, for sure.

They play a great married couple on that show. I don't know if I mimicked anyone. I feel like I took a lot of inspiration from Danny Mora in 333. He was a big inspiration for me. Aaron, will you say who you blended? Oh, I blended so many people I like your barista creation. Katie Klein, Katie Rich, lots of Katie's, Alison Ringhand.

Oh, man, I could go on Ryan Asher. Oh my gosh, so many. Uh, let's see. Uh, lot. Uh, uh, uh, I love. Dan, uh, Emma Pope, Emma Pope, Lindsey Smith, revolver, all the guys in revolver, sand. I was on revolver. I know.

So part of your improv is one 50th at all. Yeah, I guess so. I remember watching you in early shows and I kept being like, I thought that you had like weird spider man, you could slow down time to think of the funniest thing to say. Cause I was like, how was this guy writing hard jokes this quickly? I would do the Zach Morris timeout and then my old freezes.

And I talk to the camera. I will say now that I think about a little bit more and now Aaron that you've given, you've divulged your amalgamation components. I will say I am looking up to a lot of people in Chicago improv scene. I am part Johnny Giggles, I'm part Fiona improv, I'm part Melissa sweep edits. Not a minute ago. Aaron said that you could slow down time to do good. I said you have for such failure there. I'm so sorry.

And you said Melissa Sweepett. It's what I lost my, I lost my spiny sense. Okay. He said Melissa Sweepett. And I laughed so hard and I stored that in my memory forever. There is a difference there because when you were watching those revolver shows, those were most likely at like 10 p.m. I think that that was the slot that you had, right?

Like a 10 p.m. slot? 10, 10, 30. 10, 30 slot Friday nights. So we can compare that to you and I, Aaron, have had a special window into Adel's soul because we have seen him do improv on this podcast at like 11 in the morning. Yes.

And it is a different piece. 11 a.m. versus 11 p.m. completely different. I can't find a problem.m. versus 11 p.m. Completely different I get your weird twin Rattle a die I get my improv hours from Addles like the prestige or but only one of them is a good magician The other ones like can we please just sell cars? To aggressively backtrack if this were an all musical episode. What are some of the songs you personally would sing?

So for me, I would sing probably like, fuck, fuck be ready tonight. Oh, that's a good one. I would probably be singing, Puzz, Puzzbottin' around. We're overdue for a break. It's a tap dance break. Ain't miss but solvein'.

I'm so horny I could pause. I guess, exactly. What else, what else, what else? Ain't miss miss Alvin. I'm so horny I could pause. I yes exactly What else what else what else? Well you tell you let us know obviously depuzzled for you Amazing you let us know what songs would you like to hear in the all musical hey riddle riddle episode use the hashtag Riddler on the roof and episode. Use the hashtag riddler on the roof and and we'll take those into consideration. Wridler on the roof. So is this all a miss what I wear up as man? Is it just going to be us doing like karaoke covers? Oh, I would sing if I were a butt man. If I were a butt man. That makes me sad. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Four this time. I wonder wait hold on let me find old man puzzles. I have him here somewhere

Where did I put it? Oh here is oh I'm pulled man ruzzles. Oh old man puzzles twin. That's how the world works. I'm sorry. I'm Paul Rudd Normalized twins with last name changes normalize that rhyme that rhyme D do do do do do do do Tom Sawyer. Oh, sorry. I had a little Prague in my throat Is that fun? I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like that. Prague Rock rushes a famous prog So we are going to do We're gonna do I think we've done this before in the episode when JPC was old man puzzles correct

But we are going to revisit a listener of the show who was unbelievably kind sent me two volumes of his puzzle books that he wrote. I believe during quarantine, which is phenomenal. This is James Kennedy, Jamie for short, Prinks. He sent us riddles for smart people, volume one and volume two. JPC, I believe you did some from volume one so I went straight to volume two james kennedy wrote an inscription in the book it said to add all I suspect several these will end up in riddle court oh well so thank you so much james again for these puzzles and james that's a really great philosophy to just be like I'm going to end up in court oh well I'm not gonna change my behavior. I'm not gonna stop parking there.

I'm going to end up in court. That's from your book about marriages, right? Like how to in a marriage. I'm gonna end up in divorce court anyway. Might as well live the way I'm already living. That's why they call it courtship, exactly. So let's get into our first warm up, Ritty. Here we go.

I must admit, I'm an unusual creature. I do have legs, but no knees to feature. I have a back, but I'm missing a spine. I have two arms, but no hands are mine. What am I? First of all, Edel, I sent you my dating profile and confidence to help me to help me. And that was like six years ago. It's useless to me now. And I need to punch up on it. I'm 5'11, I have no spine. No. OK, I'm really disturbing table.

OK, details. Details. Why can you back up your work? Yeah, they, tables don't have knees. OK, OK. Did you know what did I just learn? I learned something and now I've totally Yeah, they they tables don't have knees. Okay, okay? Did you know what what did I just learn I learned something and now I've totally Here's this tracks here's what it is Back in olden days in like the 1800s. I don't know if this is a rumor or not I think I maybe I heard this from Paul of Tomkins so amazing. I learned something wait

I don't remember what I learned. I don't know if this is a rumor that in the 1900s, maybe I heard it from Paul of Tompkins. So just so you know everyone, you could go listen to Paul of Tompkins on one of the thousands of podcasts that he's on, but instead, you're here, hey, we're over there. Hey, better podcast, he's on.

Better podcast, thank you. Hearing some second hand possibly, Paul of Tompkins. But it was something of like in the late 1800s or something, they used to cover up the legs of tables so that like men wouldn't get boners or something because apparently it was like so scandalous that like the legs of tables would mimic a woman's, the feature of a woman's leg or something

that they had to like cover them up to make sure that men weren't aroused while dining. Who knows if that's true, but let's get back to this table. Hey, come everyone in here. I want to see a table. I like it because it's like those table legs look like dicks. Is that why everyone was aroused? No, no, no, no, they look like women's legs. Cover them up. Cover them up. Cover them up. Aaron, you are eating solo at a restaurant. JPC, you are a table, and you decide to go ahead and kind of shoot your shot. Hmm, that was a delicious meal.

To add a pleasure to serve you, my lady. Oh, thank you. But between you be a glass of water to my Oh Would you want one? I don't know. I mean please don't spill. I know me. Oh Okay, sorry. I you I just wanted to tell you that you weren't wobbly at all the whole time I said I was dirty. I was sucking in I wobble I wobble like a motherfucker, but I was I was sucking in I wobble I wobble like a motherfucker, but I was I was sucking in in in mille ladies presence. Oh, you were really steady

You were really stable Sorry, I'm nervous Millie I did you think upon you for the compliments. Uh, just to be honest. Sorry, do you do Shakespeare? You sound like you do like a lot of Shakespeare plays. Oh, well, uh, I've seen you. You're the table in Othello.

I was the table in Othello. Were you the table in Taming of the Shrew as well? Not me. That was you. That, and he And he's great. Yeah, that's Jeff and he is fucking fantastic. Yes, I was in a fellow. I was the maid's hand table in Romeo and Juliet, which was a big break for me, mid-native.

Yeah. We cut to a production of Roman and Juliet featuring this table. I've been to Juliet, I've put your dress upon the tape. Wait, where did the table go? Oh my lady, the table is here at your beck and call. Oh a non-a-non tither com table, add a leaf to your proclivities. Com table, com table, buy table and drink first, why don't you? Alast. Alast.

Alast. Alast. Alast. Alast. Alast. Alast. Alast. Alast.

Alast. Alast. Alast. Alast. Alast. Alast. Alast. Alast. Alast. I have a disease where I can't laugh so I just have to say huge laugh Tina stop telling people you have that disease No, I don't want to hurt their feelings. They ask me about it in the bathroom Tina And I have to say no my wife is a compulsive liar. That's what's going on here. See you think people don't talk to me Tina they ask about your disease what am I to say?

The next time the next time I go see live theater which maybe years from now I'm going to sit in front row and yell, huge laugh from the audience. It would be better if everyone said it in unison in the audience. You laugh from the audience. What sucks is 100% someone's going to do that at our next live show. No, please don't. To be sure.

Okay, you think people don't talk to me, Tina? Outstanding. Okay, you think people don't talk to me Tina is Outstanding I just the person who's with that person is just talking to Just burying their head of their hands Also during that scene, I thought of another name. Benicio del Tagouts. Oh Oh my god, you don't have to go that complicated that quick. What do you do? You're gonna get hurt Shakespeare let you do but he's here Here we go again. I must admit I'm unusual I must admit I'm an unusual creature I do have legs, but no knees to feature I have a back, but I'm missing a spine

I have two arms, but no hands are mine. What am I? Again, this is is a warm up, no, clock, clocks famously don't have legs. They have no, wait, they have no hands, they have, wait, they have a back, but no spine. They have legs, but no knees, back, but no spine. Arms, but no hands.

What am I? And I would say, an object. I'd say arms, it's an object. I'd say arms are the biggest clue. Is this a chair? It is. Like a barker lounger or something like that?

Like a, that's. Is that like a chair for a dog? Well, that's my chair. Has spaghetti been getting the barker lounger? What constitutes a barker lounger? I think it's a brand, is it not? Okay. Do you, I definitely know that I think, well, I lounger? I think it's a brand, is it not? Okay. I definitely know that I think,

well, I definitely know and then I think, friends, they had those Barker loungers, which were those big chairs that reclined back, I think. Oh, I always call those lazy boys. I, here's the thing, I, a Barker lounger and a lazy boy might be the same thing. Up until I was like 31, anytime someone would say like,

Papa's on chair, I was just like, oh yeah, and I had, in my mindon chair, I was just like, oh yeah. And I had, in my mind's eye, it was just a baby screaming. Like I had no idea what a poppazon chair was. And then when I was like 31, I was like, let me just look this up. And then I was like, okay, now I understand.

But there's like Barker Langer, I have no, nothing in my dictionary of the mind. There's no page for that. It is a brand. It's a type of recliner, but it's like, yeah, it's one of those big, big, big reclining chairs. Okay, there's no page for that. It is a brand, it's a type of recliner, but it's like, yeah, it's one of those big, big, big reclining chairs. Okay, okay.

Like a lazy boy. You live in the dictionary of my mind. Page 124. So it's, chair is correct? Yeah, well, I'll give it to you, because you got it for sure. It's an armchair specifically, but I think a chair definitely makes sense. So yeah, some chairs don't have arms and those, those are the lucky ones.

Those are chairs with the arms have a lot of work to do. I remember being a kid. Maybe when I was like, between the ages of eight and ten, my mom and dad bought my sister and I bean bags, and that was like where I lived. I would not leave that bean bag for the world. Oh, yeah, playing a video game leave that bean bag for the world. I would play a video game in a bean bag, hell yeah. I would sleep on it, I'd watch TV on it. I would stand on the armor, the couch, and jump onto it.

Like there is nothing more thrilling when you're a kid than a bean bag. I'd rather the entire world see me naked than the person I'm trying to sleep with see me try to get up from a bean bag chair. I will say. I'll say. I'll say.

I'll say. I'll say. I'll say. I'll say. I'll say. I'll say. I'll say. I'll say.

I'll say. I'll say. I'll say. I'll say. I'll say. I'll say. I'll say. I'll say.

I'll say. I'll say. I'll in a bean bag chair. I know we're near you. And there are a little white pellets everywhere. I have a very different place. And then also the stuff from the inside of the bean bag. Because I do remember being a kid and loving a bean bag chair. But I also remember bean bag chairs in the summertime because we had no air conditioning.

And our play room was our like, it was the third floor of our house we lived in the very old house and it was like yeah it was like a hundred year old house and oh yeah it was old and falling apart and the third floor was what what what I don't know what it's like what it's like a partial floor it wasn't really an attic because it was like it will I don't know but it was it was like, I don't know, but it was one of the ones with the triangle series. Partial floors usually called a bungalow, but I think that's specifically one story with a half top.

Yeah, yeah, but whatever it had, it had like the, you could, it was like a triangle because the pieces of the roof were there. Oh, an attic. I guess it was an attic, but it was like, Rompus Room, but I remember no air conditioning, the third floor of that house, sitting in a bean bag chair in the summertime,

was about the most disgusting thing that you could do. And that made me hate bean bag chairs. Just absolutely, you shift a little and your skin just like peels off of the bean bag chair. Fuck a bean bag chair. Oh, I love them. Let's go on to our next warm up, Riddle. Here we go.

I have some more stuff to say about bean bag chairs. Oh, okay, go ahead. They are a delightful mess. Are you done? I'd also like to say that earlier in the scene that we did, I think Malady is about the worst thing that you could call a woman, just so everyone is clear. Yeah, I'd say it's Malady is about the worst thing that you could call a woman. Just, just so everyone is clear.

Yeah, I'd say it's Malady, Cunt, bitch. Neymurch, Neymurch, that's our, that's our coffee mug. That's no, it is certainly not. It just says Malady, Cunt. No, no, no, no. I never said trot, so good luck out there. I was wondering today, buddy. I think it's like a far side calendar

where it's like you have to be this to ride this ride. It's just those words. Well, my lady's short for miserly lady, right? As far as I know. I think it's short for my fair lady. That's what it is. Here we go. Here's our next warm-up, pretty. Good things come in small packages, that is except for me.

Considering all the world's animals, I am the most deadly. What am I? Snake. Snake? Snake. Easy, snake. Thank you, snake.

Shark. What if there's a snake shark? Okay, what part is what? Yeah, what part is what? Shark head, snake body. Hold on. I wanna see a snake body, snake head. Okay, what part is what? Yeah, what part is what? Sparkhead snake bodies? Hold on. I want to see a snake body. Snake body snake body.

So, I want to see a scene. So, Adel, you are playing a scientist, Aaron and I are you two, like lab aids, you know, under scientists, and you have successfully crossed the genes of a snake in a shark and you're showing it off to us. We're here so early, sir. What is the big news? Please, I know it's early in the morning, but I appreciate you taking my call. Please come, sub-scientists, come around. I should just call you assistance. Come around. Well, we are, we are in a sub-scientist, so I please do call the sub-scientists. Can I take my blindfold off? You can take off your blindfold, but before we discuss anything further

You must add your white lab coats otherwise anyone who might be viewing us doesn't know that you're a scientist Okay, because if you see can I let me just say this and this is something that's been bothering me and I'm sorry It's built up for this long Jeff you come in every day. You're a subscientist. Thank you. You wear jeans and a polo sometimes a beanie. You're not presenting to be a scientist you have to present scientists. You see me I'm wearing khakis that are wrinkled to all hell. I'm wearing a white lab coat. I'm wearing a black nub shirt. It feels like in the middle of the bridge of the nose. Yes sir it feels like you're killing time because you messed up pretty bad You maybe did something you weren't supposed to do killing time speaking of

Has anybody remember what to kill a mockingbird remember that book? Let's go around and let's recite our full favorite chapter Sir, I don't mean to I don't I would love to do that because obviously you're the head scientist There is a small pool of blood forming it looks like at your feet and it's getting bigger. Well, you're a bad scientist. I'd call that a large pool of blood. It's getting larger. I think sir is short for circumstance.

Isn't that interesting? What else? Once I had Paul off time. What sound is that? What sound is that? Oh my god. I'd say it's a squelch. It sounds like a bone is dripping?

It sounds like maybe a human bone is dripping? Huh. Wait a minute. Y'all? Are you Dr. Chameleon? Yeah! You found me out! I don't have one under your coat! It's the world's first snark!

Oh! That's dead! That is dead! That is dead! Now is dead and different. Now it's a little shy, it's a little shy. I do have my bones where on the outside of my skin. Dead things are shy, they're dead. When I was trying to create the first cuddle fish,

not cuttlefish, but cuddlefish. What did you like for a wave it? Parsley? Oh, okay. But I did it in a metal bowl, which was bad news. Yeah. What kind of doctor are you, Dr. Camillean? Well, some would say I'm not a doctor to be exact.

Yeah. How did you get on this sub? Stairs. Stairs. I think he's just describing what we're doing right now to him. Quit staring at me, scene. Scene. Scene.

How did you get on the submarine? Stairs. Stairs. Practice. You know, practice. 10,000 hours. So this is an animal. And it's the most dangerous animal? Most deadly.

So, dangerous and deadly are interesting. I don't know, I don't think they're interchangeable, but let me read it again. Good things come in small packages that is except for me. Considering all the world's animals, I am the most deadly. And here's what I'll say. I found out within the last, I'd say maybe two years ago that this is in fact the most deadly. And here's what I'll say. I found out within the last, I'd say maybe two years ago, that this is in fact the most deadly animal in the history of human kind. Because there was a book that came out about it,

and I was reading a summary of the book, and I was very intrigued. Is it a rat? That's a sprat disease. That is a phenomenal guess. I would guess rats in the top three, but this one is number one with a bullet. Was it a bullet? It, Aaron, repeat that? Mosquito.

Absolutely not. Mosquito bullets. It is mosquito. Mosquitoes in the history of humankind have been the most deadly animal. I also think that meat is at the ticks on rats that got the disease that spread it to humans too. Maybe the rats will just

deliberately device. You sound like a guy at the bar. Is it the ticks on rats that got the disease that spread its humans to maybe the rats that just the the delivery device? You sound like a guy at the bar. He sounded like every guy at every bar. I'm a cheesy rat. What was it? I'm a cheesy. What was it? I wanna see a scene.

Let's reverse it. So JPC, you're at a bar mining your own business and Aaron, you are kind of a no-at-all who's just kind of esping facts and trying to explain everything in the world? Hey You're enjoying your evening, and I thought I'd make it a little better. You're wearing your coat inside Actually, that's really bad for you. You could get really sick if you go outside because it's sort of like you won't be wearing coat When you go outside. Let me get you this drink. Uh, yeah, I, I just walked in, I was, I'm take, I'll take my coat off now.

Thank you. I, I actually knew that. Yeah, it's a, because your body temperature warms up. Oh, yeah. I will, I let you know, and that's why you know it. Uh, yeah. Anyway, I'll just do like a, just a Miller High Life. Oh, interesting.

Uh, actually, you probably won't like the Miller High Life because that's the champagne of beer and girls like real champagne and not beer champagne. Yeah, nobody likes a Miller High Life. I just want to spend $1.75 on a beer. So I'm sorry. Cool. You look cute. Can I make some suggestions of things you could do to make your face a little bit better? Uh, I, yeah, I guess. Um, number one, obviously smile. Here making me sad just to look at you and you exist for me. Number two.

Look like you make less money and you know less stuff. Okay. Uh, how, with Okay. With a smile? Uh-huh. What do you do for work? I am a boiler maker. Oh, sweetheart, sweetheart, sweetheart. Say that again. Sorry. I think you misspoke. Oh, I'm a boiler maker. I make boilers.

Oh, actually, I, my cousin's friend, boyfriend's husband, saw a boiler once once so I take a seat and I'll talk to you all about all about it. You know what? No, I'm on. My friend Jimmy over there says I can't get your number. You don't want to embarrass me in front of Jimmy. I'm sorry.

Are you a you work here? Why are you behind the bar? Oh yeah, I'm the bartender. See. Miller Light for my real friends and light Miller for my champroons. Light Miller I can do cha cha baby cha cha. Oh Aaron I should have just said play Cliff Cleven. Cliff Cleven would do a little bit less of that and he would have a boss to accent but then he'd vote for Trump later and ruin everything.

Oh no. You make Frank Ocean look like Danny Ocean baby. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Shush. Sh Sure. A coach. Coach for sure. Yes.

Squidward. Squidward, of course. Oh my god, yeah. Oh, good point. So you can get good points. Let's point our listeners to a quick break from our advertisers. And we'll be right back with more Hey Riddle Riddle. All musical episode. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,. I'm, um, pranking at all. And I'm setting up a website to

bring him. Um, I just need to have advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, it gages with your audience, and so anything for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Addle, come here, come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC, and I want to set up a whole website to prank him.

Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store, like it set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch, you can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand,

design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you, saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna shoot you.

And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords or popular products and content on my prank website to prank the tool. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for?

I can't remember what the website was for. The website was for. Prank. With Squarespace. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, battle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine head to squarespace.com for a free trial And when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Oh, she's back. She's back. Hey, Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adeland JPC. Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an empath. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that?

Like, have there never truly is a middle of the woods? No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Adel, can you help? Yeah, actually. as per Robert Frost I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s But it still stands true today more than ever Aaron you should try better help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm-hmm

Because sometimes Aaron in life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear Whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow, sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Hmm, and better help is entirely online,

so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends

to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Mmm, dirty bread crumbs. Mmm.

And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp. H-E-L-P.com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle

because it would be the space in the United States. I'm Hope you get home. Bye, baby. I am home. Who are we? What is this? Klingling, Kling. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen.

I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday. And we're all so excited to talk about him. But I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Bunny. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Huh?

Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, uh, sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you and for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel and Rocket money will cancel it for you.

It's that easy. Clean, clean, Clint. Mm-hmm. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off over three million. Oh, Clint, Clint, Clint. Over three million people have used rocket money saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rock and roll. Stop, Clint, Clint, Clint. Stop. No, Clint, stop, no, click, click, click, stop.

Throwing your money away, cancel unwirted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rockatmoney.com slash riddle. That's rockatmoney.com slash riddle. Rockatmoney.com slash riddle. And tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website I love you, I'm gonna make my clank clank clank

Get these motherfucking snarks off my motherfucking sub Okay, we we need to we actually need two more Addle because cases gonna go back in and fix the scene but we actually, we need two more. Okay, what else? Addle. Yeah? No, okay, he's deep in the character. There's nothing we can do to stop this.

Okay, we just need two more, we need two more. Okay, let's see here, what are some other things with snakes? Oh, snake, me out to the ball game. All right, one more. One more. Okay, oh, earlier, call back, friends, for Dan with mention. So let me just snake me out. Do do do do do do. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do was just snake me out. Dee-doo, Dee-doo, Dee-doo, Dee-doo, I gotta know more. I gotta know more. I gotta know more. Just scratching the surface.

Let's get into a full ready. Again, this is from James A. Kennedy, Riddles for Smart People. Volume two, James, you are an absolute blessing for sending us these books, because we are running low on Riddles. So here we go. Huffing. This one is called public speaking. Michelle was shy and quiet.

She hated being on stage, but this time she really couldn't avoid it. She stepped behind the podium, took a deep breath, and said less than a sentence into the microphone before bell rang. Michelle started to cry. Why was she upset? She was giving a speech to save a man's life. And the governor stepped in and said, nope, execute. I wanna see a speech. JPC, you're a young child giving a speech to save a man's life.

And Aaron, you are the sort of, what would we say? Like the, who gives the call to delay a death? Is that like the fucking mayor or someone? The governor. The governor. The governor. The governor. Thank you. Shame on you. Shame on all of you. Look at this man. This man that stands before me. I'm going to give you a quick note. Can you, um, let's see, do it with a little bit more like,

like, I'm adorable, I'm a kid. Okay, okay, okay. Take it from the top. Yep, from the top, please. Wow, well, well, shame on you people. Look at this man behind me. What was his crime? Do I see that? Do I make him British? Sorry, sorry, timeout. The man or me? You. Okay. He was already British in my mind,

though, he was gonna get to that. Okay, can I try being British as well? Yeah, you can have, just sort of like act British, don't talk, but just sort of like have them, okay, go ahead. I'm just gonna take it, I'm gonna pick it for the middle. What was his crime? Twesting up Santa Claus is knit in the middle of May

Sneaking into everyone's house is his knit. I love it. I love it. Okay time time out Okay, a little bit more Michael Cain We're gonna want to lean a little bit more into that Michael can't If I may if I may Michael Cain playing like Alfred Great we also not like old Michael Cain newer like more recent Michael Cain playing like Alfred. Great, we also. Not like old Michael Cain, newer, like more recent Michael Cain. I guess older. I guess older. I guess older.

And we actually, it actually undercuts the fellow performers' confidence. Okay. When you give them notes, you understand. All right, well, if you went in and up on the naughty, less than me. I'm sick. You're gonna be dead in 11 minutes.

I'm sick. I'm seven and I only know Michael Cain as a reference from Batman. Which was a movie that came out before it was born. Great, great, great. Whenever you get it. And action. I say, I say that.

Also, can I just say it's not sneaking into someone's house if their roof is open? I mean, they're chimney. If the chimney's open, that's not sneaking. I broke nothing. You're admitting to the crime again, so just... You cut holes in people's roofs and called them chimneys. Chimneys are windows to the house. Alright, kill him, kill Santa Claus.

Ah! See. Um, Adelaide, I know the answer to your little riddle. Ula la. Do you want to go ahead and say it or do you want JPC to have it against? S-P-E-E-L-L-I-N-G space. Say it or do you want JPC to have it against? P. E. Thanks. L. L.

I.N.G. Space. B.E. E. Spelling B. Aaron, B.I.N.G.O. B.A.N.G.O. H.A.

E.J.T.A. T.A.T.A. No spaces. No spaces. Look at my hat. Aaron, you nailed it. Michelle's parents made her participate in a local spelling bee, and she had spelled her first word incorrectly. I want to see a scene.

Aaron, you are a bee who spells. JPC is the judge, and we're going to see you in this competition. Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz I'm sorry do you say C? Nope nope nope um Okay, because I would be wrong I really wish a kid would step on me right now Supposedly So I could sting him Well no kids here This is my B-Far Okay

Your word is supposedly Can I language of origin please? Supposedly Ehh English Okay Um and can you use it in a sentence please? Buzz buzz

Pff Okay, um, and can you use it in a sentence please? Buzz buzz buzz. All the neighborhood kids, the old man that ran the bee farm was supposedly insane because he had spelling bees for his bees, but the man just cared. He just cared. Is that crazy to care? I don't think so. Supposedly. I don't think so either. And, uh so either and yeah what's gonna yeah so I'm gonna get the word right obviously and then I get to live okay oh yeah you can make me my honey

when it's over when it's over you get to go back to make me my honey great that's great it's self-funded to be out in the woods and I'm so excited about my girl. My girl is the most important person to me in her dad's dad's Dan Acroid. My girl is going to be so thrilled. Wait, she's out in the woods without his glasses. He can't see without his glasses. Oh, I tripped. What did I trip on what is this some sort of nana nast B I'm a B and I'm gonna stick S you P I don't know what happened, but I'm alive time to go home. Oh

I just woke up from a nap time to go home. Oh, I just woke up from a nap. Hey! Look around, my bee is dead, the little boy is gone. Harold, get out of your bee bag chair. I can't, I've been stuck in this bee bag chair this far. You are the subartime. What skin's crafted to it?

A bee bag chair, that is nightmare. Oh my god. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. I would rather the person I'm trying to sleep with see me try to get up from a bee bag chair than a bean bag chair still. Hey, mid to that. Here's our next riddle. This one's called Clean Sweep.

Penelope and accomplished pediatric surgeon spent most of her Saturday afternoon sweeping. Although the floor was already spotless, without a speck of dust or grime, she kept at it. She worked up quite a sweat from pushing the berm around for over an hour. Her husband Seth watched her efforts, but he didn't think it was strange that she was sweeping an already clean floor. Why not? Well Seth, here is actually doing something very smart. No, no, Seth is actually being a good husband. He's doing something very smart. He, no, no, Seth is actually being a good husband. He's doing something very smart.

He knows that she just lost another patient and she's having a little bit of a mental break. So he's just gonna give her her space, let her sweep the floor even though it's already clean. It will not bring the child back to life, but it's what Seth knows that he has to do. He's gonna be waiting with dinner for when she wants to come back.

That is the saddest, sweetest thing I've ever heard you say. But I will say, her losing a patient is a good thing because pediatric surgeons, of course, only operate on pedophiles. Yes. What happened in the last minute? And how can I prevent it from ever happening again? I'm a pediatric surgeon and my killer rate is 100%.

Aaron, Aaron, it's me. The wizard you made up, I forget his name. Don't do this, it's sacrilegious. What's his name? Squishy. Squishy. Aaron, it's me, whizzy. Remember, when I gave you that time, Turner,

well, you can use it once per episode to go back exactly five minutes to prevent any joke from happening? All right, I'm gonna I'm not gonna use it on this one, but I will use it. You sure? Yeah, I'm sure Okay, hey, hey, with you appearing, you know just to Aaron I think it's time that we schedule you an appointment with a pediatric surgeon Yeah, buddy, we'll just get cancel Okay, okay with a pediatric surgeon because he has a bad money. What is he's getting cancer? Okay, okay.

She's in stop. She's in the play, stop. Ooh, that is a great, wait, why? Are there pediatric surgeons in stop? I saw a stop when I was 19 and I could not have been more baffled. It's basically people on stage sweeping in rhythm and then people like slapping trash cans in rhythm. So it's like an orchestra of everyday items. It's how I would describe stomp. It's impressive for like 10 minutes and then 90 minutes later you're like I think I get it. I think it's impressive the entire time. You go, stop. You play that trash. That should have been their tagline.

Stop. Watch us play trash. Work garbage. Stop. Work garbage. I like stop. I dare you to try to pick your favorite song from stop. I know mine.

I think, yeah. We can dip a dip at the straw in the cup. Peek-a-boo, we can dip at that. the cup. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep person who wrote stomp or the team of people that wrote stomp multiple times multiple times that are ready to get they must have just put their pins down and been like this isn't very good isn't like this is it very good I want to see a scene the two of you are auditioning for stomp but you're both wildly unprepared and limitlessly untalented. Okay, next to you, I was bored to play. Okay, next to you, come on in. Thank you for waiting.

I see here that you're a duo. Yes. We typically have people audition separately, but if you are that vehement that you are a duo, then let's see it. And we definitely didn't think that we were auditioning for a core sign. We knew we were auditioning for Stomp. Go good. Stomp. We knew we were auditioning for Stomp. Go good. Stomp.

We're garbage. So we're gonna try to. And before we start, do you have any notes? Yeah, I do. They're right here in front of me. And it's just, well, let's see the notes I have here. So this is based on the last person who was in here. His name was Peter.

Man, Peter's not good. So that's the nuts I have. That helps us because he walked out of the room with an insane amount of confidence, so that helps us. Please feel free. There's a lot of everyday items scattered around the room. Feel free to grab whatever you can play.

Anything in this room makes up for me. So have that. We thought we'd be original, so we're going to try to play our faces. Oh, okay, whenever you're ready. Okay, whenever we're ready. Whenever you're ready, but I'm gonna count you in, and the three, and the two, and the one.

Ow, ooh, I got myself in the eye. Ooh, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, hit myself in the eye, immediately. Put myself in the eye. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Does anyone have any neosporan? Does anyone have any neosporin? Does he have any neosporin for my eye? Okay, putting some neospor to my eye. Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! I've never thought

to do this before! Oh! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! This neosporin is huge. Huge laugh from the audience. Burning my eye! Shit! Does he have any peanut butter? That's what you do for gum! Okay, have any peanut butter? That's what you do for gum. See, okay, putting some peanut butter. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Let me read it one more time. Okay. Penelope and accomplished pediatric surgeon spent most of her Saturday afternoon sweeping. Although the floor was already spotless, spotless without a speck of dust or grime, she kept at it. She worked up quite a sweat from pushing the broom around for over an hour.

Her husband Seth watched her efforts, but he didn't think it was strange that she was sweeping and already cleaned floor. Why not? And I have some hints here if you'd like a hint. Is she having a laugh? Is she playing a sport? Because my gut tells me that she is curling. Curling.

Because it's a Saturday afternoon. She's a Canadian pediatric surgeon. This is what they do. Or a pediatric surgeon. That's literally my dream for a spouse. A Canadian pediatric surgeon. Okay, they're nice. Did you two work for the crucifix brigade because you two nailed it. Penelope was participating in a curly match at the local line. That's right. It's dark. That was him. Penelope was

participating in a crew meeting. Hey guys, team meeting team meeting team meeting I don't think we should be calling ourselves the crucifix per day to be more. Hi, it's just not like it's it's an image that I don't necessarily think we need a social. We're just. I'm going to use my time turner to go back and undo this whole thing. Would you do what? Is it?

Are you two the are you two the crucifixer uppers? Dammit. You are mailing it. Is it, are you two the, are you two the crucifixor uppers? Dammit. You are mailing it. Penalty was participating in a curling match at the local ice rink. She was using a broom to swoop the ice in order to change the distance or trajectory of the stone.

I will say curling is maybe the number one thing I've always wanted to do that I have not yet done. In terms of like ax throwing or parachuting or something like that, curling is like what I want to do most that I have not yet done. In terms of like, axe throwing or parachute or something like that, curling is like what I wanna do most that I have yet to do. As far as like sports that like rank physical activity and the exercise that you're getting for doing the sport,

curling is like at the top of every list. Well, your arms have to be ripped to curl. It is, it's also unbelievably watchable. Right? I feel like every winter Olympics, that's like, that's the one. The people that go hard with the brushes, like just, they're like going rapid fire with those fucking brushes in front of the little curling

puck. Do you think they're too aggressive when they brush their teeth? Do you think it translates to every part of their life? Absolutely. Yeah, and if these people are jerking off, it is a mess down there. We're doing it. We're doing it.

We're doing it. We're doing it. Yay. I watched a professional curler, like Tussle, a dog's head, and that dog flipped to the moon. Just completely. Just completely dog flip to the moon. Just completely. Just completely rocket a train to the moon. Oh, man. Let's do another one. Oh, Jesus, Riddles.

Flip to the moon is a great expression. Can you think of a tussle just had baby, oh my god, I'm dying. I'm sweating now. I hate it. No, you can't be funny when we're recording remotely because I get too hot in here. You can't be funny, you guys are serious, don't. Here you go, next one, this is called Plain is Day. Okay. A small group of airplane.

That's it. James, you got to rethink these titles. A small group of trained professionals climbed aboard a large airplane which was parked on the tarmac at Los Angeles International Airport. They immediately shot the pilot, well boy, then calmly disembarked from the plane and walked away. None of the people were apprehended by the police, although there were several bystanders who saw it happen. In fact, the group later won an award for their actions. How is this possible? Uh, pilot was a terrorist. They, they bained it. They hit that plane midair. They came in blasted away the terrorist pilot left the plane fall where it will It cares as long as the terrorists are gone. The pilot was a goose. It was hunting season It was a pilot pin

They slingshot it into the cabin ink spilled everywhere everyone had to get off the plane. Yeah, they yelled pull The pilot pops up and they shot him. You're not going to believe it. All seven of those incoherent answers are correct. So this is, you said this is in Los Angeles, right? This is at Los Angeles International Airport. So basically, again, some tree and professionals climbed aboard an airplane, they shot the pilot,

and then calmly walked out from the plane. It's a fucking movie. Aaron, you are on a roll. Aaron, we just call them ports. Answer, they were shooting the pilot of a TV show in the first episode to play on a plane. The group included cameraman actors and producers. The show was a success and won an Emmy award later that year.

Good for them. Winning them. Good for them winning the Emmy. Good for those producers. Very good for those producers. All right, I would like to see a scene. Yes. The GPC, you are a director of a new pilot. Okay. And Adal, you are playing a pilot in a show about a pilot in the pilot episode.

But Adel, you're like, you're like pretty sure that this is, like, you have this in the bag. The show is going to win awards all in its own. So you're just kind of phoning it in. You're not doing your best work. Okay. Brahem Brahama bowls went to the mall. Brahama bowls went to the mall. All right.

Let's take this from the top. Axe one scene one action. Broke my balls went to them all. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Alright, let's take this from the top. Axe 1, scene 1. Action. Malady, welcome aboard. Take your seat, because this plane's going all over the place. Room! G-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g Yeah. It cut. Uh, Jeff? Absolutely great. And what a wonder, what a honor to be working with Jeff Bridges, I must say. Thank you.

What can I just say, what an honor to be directed by Dave Kulje. When you said cut, I was waiting for the it out, but it never came. And I respect that. You're changing things up. You're not just Uncle, whatever. You are your own director and creative artist.

Thank you so much, Jeff. Sarah. Uh huh. You were giving Jeff nothing in that scene. I thought Jeff was on fire. He was doing so great. I just feel like Jeff's, he needs to feed off of your energy.

Great. I am just holding the boom mic. I am just hearing sound, but you need. Sarah, there are no small jobs. There are just small people. It're just small people it small minds Okay, okay, and mill lady if you may Millady if I may I am Jeff Bridges a big Lebowski and if I may give you some notes when you put the boom mic out there Maybe have some fun with it and say like boom here comes the boom, you know

Just have more fun. I feel like you're just not you're not you're not having fun with it have fun with it Great Jeff. We love that energy. Yeah on the director. I'm gonna give all you're not having fun with it. Have fun with it. Great, Jeff, we love that energy. I'm the director, I'm gonna give all the notes. Sarah, have fun with the boom. Maybe when you put it out there, say here comes the boom, ready or not. Oh, and I forgot to ask, do you want me to sound like I typically do or is this okay?

I think the character that you found, Jeff, I don't think it's lazy at all. I love it. And I think it's important for me to also not sound like the way that I usually do because I'm in a different position. I'm a director. It's a position of power. And I want to use that. I don't want to complicate it. And it's okay that I'm wearing old-timey trapdoor pajamas instead of a pilot's outfit? Yeah, that's fine with me. I mean that's on cost to make it so that's a whole different department. Okay Here we go. Let's let's pick it up. Okay, and action to me Get these mother-fucking-snarks off my Boom boom boom boom. I want you in my shot. I'm in the shot boom. There's me. I'm Sarah

Cut Sarah. I love it. Okay. Here's what here's what I'm gonna do Jeff you grab the boom mic you're on the boom mic now Sarah. Okay. You're a star. Sarah switch the dialogue Jeff you're running boob Sarah you're the new pilot you're the pilot of the pilot have fun with it play around with it cut cut it out. How dapetit. See. Here's my theory. My theory is, anytime a director doesn't know what to say to an actor, they say have fun with it.

Have fun with it? Ah, this isn't working. Have fun with it. I think that. It's too hard as a director. It's too hard to teach a doctor how to act. So if you've got the person that you've got got all you could say is have fun with it. I don't know something's missing have fun with it.

Let's go into another ready. The Giddies from James Kennedy. This is called throwing in the towel. Harold and Marilyn Bradley. Great names James. Harold and Marilyn Bradley. Harold and Marilyn Bradley. Harold and Marilyn Bradley.

Welcome to Marilyn. Harold and Marilyn Bradley were Harold and Marilyn Bradley. Harold and Marilyn Bradley. Welcome to Marilyn. Harold and Marilyn Bradley were married for 10 difficult years before going through a bitter divorce. Love. Saul, for X. 10 difficult years. That is a long time to draw it out. They argued incessantly about who would get to keep which items. With the help of two experienced lawyers, they eventually divided their possessions in a

fair manner. After the divorce was finalized, Harold moved into a small apartment. Oh, I'm sorry, this is just a short story I was writing about my mom and dad. After the divorce was finalized, Harold moved into a small apartment. While he was unpacking his things, he opened a cardboard box containing several white bath towels and a blue Terry cloth bath robe. They were all in perfectly good condition. Herald through the entire box in the trash. If these items didn't have any special emotional significance, why did he throw them away? Why? What was in the box? It was some Terry's. He's single now and he doesn't need to shower.

A-min to that. Mm-hmm. So what was in the box was several towels, bath towels. I showered way more when I was single. So that what I just said makes no sense. Several white bath towels and a blue Terry cloth bath robe. I gotta say, I don't think my relationship status has anything to do with how much I shower.

I think my showering schedule is purely based on, like what I've done that day. And you have sort of Charles Schultz stinklines emanating from the top of your head right now. Thank you so much. And also with you. This is mascaraaskara. I draw this all out.

I love it. Any idea? I have some hints here if you want some hints. Uh, yes. She was having an affair and the robe was the guys or something. I had a lot of monogram towels. But wouldn't that have emotional significance to it? Because he said the items have no emotional significance.

Well hold on, full stop. Aaron Keefe got it right. Somewhere in there was a correct answer. Aaron, do you want to double back and guess what? Monogrammed towels. There's a big old picture of Courtney Cox because these were Monika grams towels and robes. When Harold and Marilyn got married, he defied conventions and took her last name, Bradley. After the divorce, he went back to his original surname, which was Jefferson. The Towels and the Bathrobe were monogrammed with his formal, former initials.

I'm sorry, I think it vents to this, because for my, I believe my 18th birthday, for whatever reason, this is something that happens in my family. My grandparents got to get everyone like monograms towel set. I think part of it was like, oh, you're going off to college and you should have like, you're something like nice towels.

But that monogram towel set that I have had my old name on it. And I name that I don't have anymore. I changed when I was 20. I still have those towels. Those are nice towels. Now, to be fair, I changed, you know, when I was 20. I still have those towels. Those are nice towels. Now, to be fair, they're dog towels now, because I've well-passed, cycled those out,

but I've kept them because they're great dog towels. They're like really big. They're still pretty absorbent and spaghetti loves them. And they have a monogram on it that is not my name. So it's just a fucking idiot. Throw it away, perfectly good towels, because the monogram doesn't match up. What do you think people are gonna come to your house

and be like, hey man, I saw your towels in the bathroom. Are you doing okay? You know those have a monogram that's not your name anymore, right? Fuck off, they're nice towels. This is another one of JPC's Rants. This dumbass is living in a small apartment. So what does he get? He's got infinite money?

No, he's living in a small apartment. He'd have a nice place if he didn't I'm a mother what when I went to college. Let me have this guy's fucking finances. What I went to college go redbirds. I Use my great uncle Harold Perseville Volumizes Don't do this. You don't have to do that. We're monogrammed and nobody touched my fucking towels again. His your fucking towels his name was Harold Percival volumous His name was Harold Percival volumous. So it would say HVP then right because you've never had monogram towels

Yeah, the last name is right in the middle last name's in the middle bitch. I quit Fucking finish the episode yourselves. We were minutes from the end of this episode and the two you had to pack your bundle I What in gone I want this no monogram Tell asshole you had a tag team me you have a Bindle and you're just a fucking episode yourself this guy

Hacks when you get man never heard of a monogram Casey add a door slam sound No Casey hold on Aaron steppedy, add a door slam sound. No, Kasey. Hold on, Aaron stepped on that. Add a door slam sound. No! I'm in a step out of two. You're never gonna get to get your slam sound. Hey, hey, hey, hey, I'm in a big studio.

Kasey, add a window break sound. No! Hey, hey, hey, I'm stepping in between the two of you. But you're also part of the problem. I am always part of the problem. That's sort of my thing. It's gotta be two versus one. Well, when you say it in a calm voice, I guess that's fine. problem. That's sort of my thing. It's got to be two versus one. Well, when you say it in a calm voice, I guess that's fine. Please, said, please stop fighting. Oh,

I think that's because our audio is peaking. Let's wait. I have a solution. Let's keep fighting, but calmly. Okay. I'm tired of this shit. I'm quitting. You two can finish this episode. Hey, I you what? Adel, can I just say say I can't believe your dumbass thought that a monogram towel would be first initial middle initial last initial like makes it like makes it why would it not? It's not they don't give they don't give all star baseball players the MPV. Hey, a very silly on a towel.

Okay, I just would that's all I want to hear. That's all I want to hear. V Hey A-V Very silly on a towel, okay? I just would, that's all I wanted to hear. Okay, I mean, monograms, the last name's in the middle and it's the biggest letter, okay? Why would the last name be in the middle? Fuck you both, I'm packing my bin. I'm packing my bin. And I'm leaving. Slam!

Look, I agree, this is the thing that tears us apart. I agree, this should be the thing. This should be the thing. Wait, Aaron, Aaron slammed a door now She's walking to a submarine Aaron come back. I'm walking up these stairs to a submarine She walking down that is that is the most Say yes to me if you want me to come back to the show you have to guess and me not know, but I'm walking Upstairs to a submarine. Aaron, you think our listeners are going to believe that you are walking up stairs?

Yes. No, look at the left. Yes. Say yes and I'll come back. Say yes, Aaron. You're walking upstairs to a submarine. And I like the view. Aaron, I'll say yes to that.

If you say yes to my premise, which is, oh look, we're on a dub marine. Add Skrillex sounds here. And you have to support that and enjoy being on a dub marine, which is a super funny joke. I'm walking upstairs to a dub marine. Walking up to the sea. And I will only come back to the show, if Malady both smile. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha 10 on Instagram if you want to talk to me or message me there. Uh, just give me a month to get back to you. Uh, also, I'm so excited for our live show and I can't wait.

So see everyone there. Oh, yeah. That's this Friday, 8 p.m. Central Slender time. Gonna be a blast. JPC, do you have anything to plug? Uh, just go and follow me on twitch twitch.tv slash shark barkman. Oh, yeah. And I have a few things to plug. I want to plug tavern tavern, which is our magic tavern spinoff with myself JPC and Aaron It's on stature premium now. There's gonna be seven episodes

It comes out every Thursday use the promo code magic to get a free month of stature premium and we're very excited free for you to hear I think it's I think it turned out very well It's the most fun. I loved recording the episode. So fun. And we have a new theme song from Arnie. If you like this show, I don't think you'll be into it. So maybe give it a skit.

Maybe it's a skit. And a few other shows that I guess it on. I was on the Dr. DC podcast. I was on Afterworlds podcast. I was on my first anime podcast talking about one piece, which is very fun, and I was on Friendsmen, a podcast about the TV show Friends, so check out all those podcasts. Well, I think that's it. Aaron, I think the number one song people are going to want to hear in Hey Riddle Riddle, the all-musicle episode, is going to be your solo song called... Jupiter. D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D I have... oh no! And then it cuts off. What's that? I fucking make sure!

I fucking make sure! I hope you play the thing over there shit! Fuck you! This show is over! Play the thing! I hope you live forever in a bad way! No! Just Patrick Collins!

Casey Toney to the editing! That already heritage in the music video I'm gonna be a little bit more creative I am a weekard Amos and I am a wayna-born I'm gonna be a little bit more I'm gonna be a little bit more I'm gonna be a little bit more I'm gonna be a little bit more

Start spreading the news Start? I'm spreading my ass. I'm gonna take a shit tonight. So big, so big. Casey Post, Post Credit. No! Hey there, butters and cows. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon.

We go back to our state series in this week, we're tackling Iowa. You can listen to that plus our entire Batcadilog at patreon.com such hey riddle riddle by joining the clue crew for five dollars a month or the review crew for eight dollars a month. See you there! Hit them podcast.