Hey Riddle Riddle - #138: Nose Fish

Episode Date: March 10, 2021

Wow it’s been a week already? Don’t worry, This week we are talking about things that REALLY matter! Like Hollywood writers with a lot of lion nepotism, the school experience of a famous villain, and the muppets tackling a new franchise! We also talk to the loudest drug dealer in the world and get our ears pierced at a Claire’s in Oklahoma! Uh oh the teacher left the room! Let’s go crazy! Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgun podcast. Every single, I hear a ghost every single time I've had. My way is going all over the place because the ghost's fingers are rubbing against my back. You know what energy we have as a three? No energy. No energy, that's true. But you know what energy we truly have? You know when a teacher leaves the room for 15 seconds in elementary school to like go

get something from another teacher and then everyone is just like, everything all at once. Chaos! That's us. A talent show, but also let's pick on the other kids. Let's pick on the weaklings. Let's cram Lord of the Flies into 15 seconds. Fear, tyranny, disorder. Teachers gone, quick eat their clothes.

I'm ripping my own fingers off. Oh, she's back, she's back. She's back, she's back. We were good. What's algebra I think I told you all of this, but one time in my freshman or sophomore year of high school, the chemistry teacher, who was like 24? He graduated college and immediately came back to, and he had went to that school, my high school.

He graduated, graduated my high school, went to college, came my high school. He graduated, graduated from my high school, went to college, came back and immediately became a chemistry teacher. So he's like 24. He left the room one time and I locked the door behind him. And he, and I stood there and he like pounded on the door and tried to get it open and started, it was like, let me in and I shook my head now and went and sat down.

And he was screaming at me. I don't know what came over me. And then he kept screaming. You needed power in that moment. He kept screaming he was screaming at me. I don't know what came over me. And then he kept screaming. You needed power in that moment. He kept screaming he was gonna go get the principal and I was like, isn't that embarrassing for you that you got locked that? Like, I phrased it in a way that was like,

isn't that more embarrassing to tell the principal you got locked out of your own classroom? And so basically he never told the principal but he did give me detention. Everything okay at home, Adam? No, and then he also wants to challenge me to an arm wrestling contest in front of the students because he wanted to like belittle me and I beat him.

But he told me that story before and I thought about it while I'm like doing dishes and all that. But he was like a buff dude, but his arms were all short and I'm not like, I'm not strong, but I have fairly long arms. So I think just like, I don't know what that's called, like the folkroom power, I don't know what that's called leverage. I just, he had very tiny arms. So I beat him. I was joking around once in an algebra two class and the teacher said, if you have time to joke around in class, once you come up to the board and solve the equation. So I walked up to the board and solve the equation. I went back and I was like, can I keep joking around?

And I'm Aaron Keefe. Welcome to Hey Riddle Riddle. This is an improvised podcast about solving riddles and it's also about discovering friendships and discovering the power dynamics of psychopath children who are torturing who are torturing our heroes who work in the school system. I have a thing though.

I have a thing that we'll say about that with Adles Arm wrestling and my math teacher, you truly can never call someone out like that unless you are prepared to have them beat you. Like you otherwise you are just gonna get devastated when you're like, you can't be the tough guy and then lose the thing because then there's like, you can't be gracious tough guy and then lose the thing, because then there's like, you can't be gracious about the loss,

because everybody knows you just went down and you weren't expecting it. Can I just say something about teachers really quick? Yes, please. If your solution to getting your kids back into school full time isn't, let's get the teachers and their families vaccinated ASAP and first, then please shut your mouth, okay?

We're not gonna tour your teachers and see them as sub-human just because you're having some Issues at home, especially if you're rich if you're poor. This is a different story But if you're rich and you're bullying teachers get your shit together I'm very angry be nice to teachers their people and That's our new angle for this podcast. It's all about telling stories how we fucked with teachers, but telling future generations to be kind to them. Yes. To learn from our mistakes, although they were very funny mistakes. They were they were very funny mistakes. And in normal times, in normal times, you know, when there's not a virus

running rampant across the United States, it's okay to fuck with teachers. That's what Erin's saying. Erin's saying that it's okay to fuck with these people when it's normal times. Yeah. Be terrible to them and pay them nothing when it's normal times. Get your tax ready. Really? They, teachers have to deal with little asshole kids. So they should be getting paid way more and they should have way more of our respect. And if they're like, well, we don't want to teach you a pandemic,

because all these grubby little children's hands are full of the virus, we should respect that as well. And this is easy for me to say, because I don't have kids. I got spaghetti and I send you to rest a dog camp. So. Um, does she ever write letters to all of her friends at dog camp?

Like, I can't wait to see you next Dog Camp. Sometimes that Dog Camp will put spaghetti on their Instagram because they'll take little videos of the dogs during the day and be like, look at this. And spaghetti, every time she shows up in one of those Instagram videos, right, I look at them, we're like, she having a good time. She kind of looks a little stressed out. And she looks like she's like,

I think spaghetti thinks that we work, and then she goes to work. And she's like, she doesn't love it, but she's like, I gotta do it. Like everybody in this house works. And she just goes there and gets stressed about all the dogs all day. And then comes home and is like, finally I can sleep.

It's just the videos of her looking at a picture of you and Mariah all day, just sort of pying at it. There's a show on Netflix called Bunked. It's like B-U-N-K apostrophe D. And one time I jokingly put it on, because the germathode that solves crimes. Exactly. Right.

It's the germathode detective who sleeps in a double bed. It's called Bunked. But I put it on one time because we couldn't find anything to watch and so I just press play on it. And it's like a kid show. It is the worst thing I've ever seen, but every like two or three weeks, I'll randomly put on an episode when Gemma isn't paying attention.

And then like we have to watch it. It is the most garbage thing in the world. I recommend you all watch it. It's basically, it's like 40 kids, all playing the most over the top, weirdo freaks in the world. And then there's one adult who plays the counselor and she's maybe like a 52 year old woman.

And her eyes are dead, but she's acting so hard and she's like, this is my big break, like I probably went to Juilliard and like I finally got this show. I love when someone acts with the energy that they probably went to Juilliard. But all her scenes are like, she comes in and like the kids are doing whatever, like the worst storylines and then she comes in and she's like, hey, come back here.

Oh no, that bear just made me shit my pants. Like it's all, I mean, I feel so bad for this woman. If you love the show, you love it. I want to start to go find me for whoever this woman is who plays the camp counselor, because her life is bad. Oh no, I don't believe it. I think she's thriving.

By what? Everything you've said points to thriving. Adel just did a thing to us that I do to Mariah with food, and we'll get something or we'll order something that wasn't the thing that we ordered, and I'll be the one to try it and I'll take a bite and go Try this No, I don't want to fucking try that. I'm like it's so bad. You please just try it

One bite one bite. It's the worst thing you've ever tasted you have to taste it Speaking of the worst thing ever we are about to do an episode who is our old man puzzles for this episode It's me an episode who is our old man puzzles for this episode. It's me. Ha ha ha. Oh no, you didn't think that I would have the energy to be old man puzzles again. No.

We're wrong. That's not fair. We still don't. Oh, okay. We still don't think that. And you don't. And I don't. But I am going to do some listener submitted riddles

and those are going to carry me through. Thank you, listener submitted riddles. Where would I be without you? Can we also later, and maybe this is, maybe I'll do this next time I host, can we do some sister limited questions? Is that something? And what does that mean? Sister limited, you said listener submitted and I thought, I thought sister

limited it. So you think, Abel, you could could you could do it every time with no effort You do you do requires so little effort that it will just be done for you by your brain Listen man every time anyone says anything I have a reply It's not always great and I don't always say it. I try and push it down But sometimes it just comes out. Oh fine later in the episode, I'm going to admit about some terrible things I've done to my sisters. Ooh!

And we're gonna call that limited. Limited, limited. Limited. We're gonna call that again. We're gonna call that segment, sisters, limited questions. One time I stole Molly's jade crew pants and I burned them in the woods.

Ah! I hit them in the woods. Ah! I hidden them around different areas of my room for six months, let the guilt burn a hole through my soul and then I burned them in the woods. That's something a witch would do. Ooh! One time we were cutting cookies in the kitchen and she told me I was doing it wrong,

so I turned around and I threatened her with a knife and I told her to leave me alone. One time Molly was going out to a party and on purpose, I told her that she looked bad right before she walked out of the door. These are my sister-in-law, my dad. I didn't say any of the terrible things I did to my oldest sister. I was just a little bit more Molly. One time I told my sister's a teacher and I told, okay, if you can tell by my rant, um, and I told her entire class of students what her middle name was. Oh.

Do you want to put, you want to put her on blast right now? What's that middle name? Oh, no, I can't because I think she uses it as her alias. No. Her internet alias. Oh. Um, all right. So I'm going to do some listeners to Middreddls. We have some awesome ones today. For internet alias. Oh. All right, so I'm gonna do some listeners

to Middreddles. We have some awesome ones today. So here we go. Is her middle name Mama Chompers 69? Damn it. Adel Shushed. My, my history of rock. My, my history of rock professor in college.

He had like a fake Facebook with not his real name. And, did you say history of rock professor? Yeah, I took a history of rock class He had like a fake Facebook with not his real name. Did you say history of rock professor? Yeah, I took a history of rock class and it was a lecture hall with like, I don't know, like 150 kids in it. There was a ton of kids in this history of rock class and he opened the projector one day

which was a prediction of his computer screen and he just had his Facebook on it and his Facebook alt name was Flamingo Starship. It's for all of us. No. I remember everyone in the class saw it, and he looked at it, he was like, he took too long to close it,

we were like, Flamingo Starship. I would bet you $1 or no starship. I would bet you $1 million. That was the name of his band in high school that he tried to get off the ground. High school, that would have to be the name of his current band. He was probably just on his band's page. I never said him a front request. I was like, how funny would it be?

It's like 150 kids in the class, all the emperor requests. No, dude, this guy was leading a double life and he was going on cruise ships and introducing himself to women as flamingo starship. He'd be going, hi, I'm flamingo starship. Would you like to dance? I think it's so funny that when people have an alt like name on their account because they don't, or like they protect their account because they don't want,

you know, just other people to see the thoughts that they have. And it makes me think like, oh yeah, that would be, what a better idea. Like all the people who have like Twitter profiles that are like not their real name and not their real face. Great. They're doing it right.

What a fantastic idea. You can have anonymity. Haha. Also, that's the coolest class I've ever heard of. History of rock. I would have taken that in an instant. Was it great? Was it fun?

Yeah, super fun. I mean, it was like a history of like 60, 70s, of history of rock. I would have taken that in an instant. Was it great? Was it fun? Yeah, super fun. I mean, it was like a history of like 60, 70s, and 80s rock. I may have talked about this professor before, but he was like- What's the homework to like smoke weed and listen to Fleetwood Mac? Honestly, it wasn't as cool as that. Like, we took, it was a lecture, so we did take like a ton of notes.

And the, it was like, you know, the test and quizzes stuff were like this band, this year, this song and stuff like that. But it was really cool to like learn about the bands. I will say that we listened to some music as part of the class, but a lot of the music was you would like listen to on your own, you would just learn a lot about like the band and what they were going through and like what they were doing and their producer and the label and stuff like that.

But this standing, this guy had a ton of knowledge. He was kind of like an older burnout guy and he was a musician and he loved music. And his stories were not like first-hand stories, but they were like second-hand stories of like, and the rumor is that this is what happened with this, you know, Fleetwood Mac, with Bum Bum Bum, rumors.

And so that was really fun. It was really, he did get into it a lot. That's amazing. I feel like all the bands from that time would sit around smoking weed, being like, my nightmare is that kids are going to learn about us in a college class, instead of like discovering our music. And then there, a man is standing in front of a bunch of 18-year-olds talking about the history of her man. Now, JBC, you famously have from two Christmas's ago, a gift certificate for a tattoo that I got you. Yes. Will you get a tattoo of a UFO with a flamingo inside of it?

I don't want to get a duplicate tattoo. That doesn't, just because it's a, unless it's like a symmetrical thing where I like put it on the other half of my body, but I don't know how that could be because mine is directly above my ass crack. So it should be on your thigh and it's beaming up into your butt. Hey, that's why pencils have a racer's in my bag. I want to get a tattoo of an ass crack above my ass crack. Let's get into this. Let's go. These are from Aaron's get into this. Let's go.

These are from Aaron. Let's go. Let's go. At the end of the day, I hear the phrase at the end of the day, 17 times a day. Why is everyone saying at the end of the day? Sorry, this is Adels Rance. It used to be, let's go.

And now I still hear that, but I hear the phrase at the end of the day, so much. Please, everyone stop. Please stop. So at the end of the day, I'm gonna keep saying, let's go. I hate it. When you say stuff, I hear this 17 times a day and we're all locked out

and the only person in your house with you is Jima. You really blow up the spot the other time I'm on my top. Every day after 8 p.m., Jemma says at the end of the day. Okay, these are from Aaron, Damon, Rush, and it's okay to use my full name. These are movie, Limerick, Riddles. They're an absolute blast.

Absolutely. So thank you, Aaron. I really appreciate you sending these in. Are you guys ready? Yes. When you hear another Aaron, do you get jealous? Um, are they hot? Are they tall?

Did my parents love them more than me? They certainly sound hot and tall. Ah, well then damn. Anthony them more than me? They certainly sound hot and tall. Ah, well then damn. Anthony Michael Hall stands for Anthony Michael who's hot and tall. Do you think, Aaron, do you think that there are any errands that your parents love more than you? That would be devastating.

Aaron at Cart. Ha ha ha ha ha. Thank you for smoking. They love him. I would love to give like your parents a quiz that was fully designed to get them to admit that there's an error. It's just like, you know, 30 questions into the quiz. But like, most famous error, and have your mom be like,

area that cart, and I'm like, interesting. Interesting, Bob. Interesting. My dad did send me the sweetest text today out of nowhere. He said, love and you, truth be told, all you have to do is pop into my head and I'm instantly loving you. Oh, oh, the sweetest text.

And that's so nice. That is a, that is a Bruno Mars lyric. Oh, shit. Fuck, oh my god, wait. My dad before that said, oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did. Mars lyric oh shit oh my god wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait I'm really gonna get the truck. What was I thinking? What about this thing? This one says Jackson, Mrs. Cippy. Oh, come on. Okay. We have to get to riddles. People will yell at you.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. The first one is, there once was a robot invader who said to his prey, see you later, with that jaw of so square and that flat 80s hair it could only be the terminator. What did you say Adam? Darth Vader.

It's Darth Vader. Darth Vader. I need to see a seed. I need to see a seed. Okay. I know that this is an actual origin, but I want to see a kid Darth Vader, Darth Vader at school and he's having a hard time going through school. Uh, JPC you're gonna be Darth Vader and Adel you're gonna be Darth Vader's bully. Uh oh, someone has a breathing problem.

Oh, I don't have a breathing just let me pass Chad. No, you have to, you have to play Chad's game if you wanna, if you wanna pass by me. Come on. Oh yeah? Come on, is that what you think? No. Just, just please, Chad. We have to do this every day.

I'm a bully, but I'm a young boy. So I don't always have comebacks. Sometimes I just say, oh yeah, when I don't know what else to do. What? Why do you keep breathing on your glasses and cleaning them? They, they're so dirty. Sometimes I just say, oh yeah, when I don't know what else to do. What? Why do you keep breathing on your glasses and cleaning them? They're so dirty. The doctor told me this would work.

To clean them. I can't see Chad. My name's Dorothy Vader. No, please. The teacher called me that one time because they read my name wrong. It's Darth Vader. Dorothy Chad, do you have a hall pass? We're in space. You always say that, teacher. I do, because we are off to class boys. You don't want to see my hall pass. You want to go back to your home and rethink your life.

Oh, I don't want to see your hall pass. I want to go back to my home and rethink your life. Oh, shh. I don't wanna see your hall pass. I wanna go back to my home and see my whole life. What are you doing? You can't get anything right. Please, just let me get to my locker. Oh, my, please. It's BB-8. I've seen, I always do that. I think I did that before.

Oh, I do think, if I had the capabilities, I would, because I think at did that before. I do think if I had the capabilities, I would, because I think at some point I said Dorothy Vader, I would want to take Wizard of Oz and put a filter anytime Dorothy talks through a Darth Vader voice changer. I think that'd be fun. I think so. There's no place like home. Shhh.

You got it right, JBC. It's Terminator. Terminator. Dorothy Vader is way funny here, but okay, ready? Yes, evader. So the plotting's a little bit awkward. At least Palpatine met his granddaughter. JJ Abrams is back and he's kind of a hack.

So he called it to movie. And he called it. This is where the Star Wars movie is. This is this is Darth Evader, right? Yeah, this is Darth Evader, but so I Know the answer to this because I literally was just talking about this today And I will I'll give you a little backstory before I answer this Mariah and I are rewatching I'm really watching she's watching for the first time the Clone Wars animated series which is very good It's I think it's like six or seven seasons,

but it is very, very good. I've told Matt Young has tried to get me to watch that for six years in every month. I tell him, I'm gonna watch it and I have it. It's super great, but. She's busy watching Bunk. She went back and she this weekend turned on episode two Attack of the Clones because the Clone Wars series takes place turned on episode two attack of the clones because the

Clone Wars series takes place right after episode two. Attack of the clones. I watched a little bit of it but I was also editing so I wasn't really watching. That movie is painful to watch. It has to be the worst Star Wars movie hands down and some people think that the ninth Star Wars movie which is called the Rise of Skywalker, answer to this riddle, is the worst Star Wars movie. But I gotta say, after sitting in passively watching Attack of the Clones this weekend, I would rather watch a 24 hour fucking action packed block of just the rise of Skywalker than see 10 minutes of Attack of the Clones.

Hey, and Christianson, is the worst actor I think I've ever seen in my entire life? I've just watched. Here's what I'll say, because hey, and Christianson is bad, Jake Lloyd is bad, Natalie Portman's bad. I, at some point, have to blame the director. Because they're all capable. I've seen them all in other movies be good.

So, at some point, it's like, like, Natalie Portman, I'm sure was giving a motion, and then the director was like, pull it back, like have no emotion, be the most bland portrayal of a human you could possibly be. And that's how we got Queen Amidala. The script's too for that movie. The dialogue is awful.

It's wooden, it's like, Oh, you are an angel. It's, it's, oh, it's an episode of one. But it's bad, it's really, really bad. I wanna see a scene. Aaron, you went through a process where you had a clone made of you. What, did you just let off a firework?

Yeah, I let off a firework. Can you call everyone? I don't even know where to begin here. I wanna see a scene where you have made a clone of yourself because you thought that would be a good idea. But the clone is becoming more popular than you. The clone is kind of taking over, you know, kind of taking all your buzz.

And now you want to kill the clone. So this is your sort of attacking of your clone. Hey, Aaron clone. Hey girl. And JPCs to clone. Okay, I thought. Okay. Thank you. We'll have JPC be the clone. I'm sorry. No, I'm good. Oh, okay. I'm on my own. Okay. The animal alone. Okay. Hey, Erin, girl. I like your hair.

Thanks. It's the same as yours. Just a little bit better. I had a great day. How was your day? Well, great, Erin Cline. Yeah, you know what, Aaron, I had a thought. I think that we should start calling you Aaron Clone and me, Aaron Original. Well, that's kind of stupid. You're the clone, and that makes no sense. Loser says what? What? And this is where we find out that your clone also went and got cloned. What? And this is where we find out that your clone also went and got cloned. So, I'm actually technically an original now, loser. What does that mean?

Yeah, I'm here too! And the more you clone, the dunry you get! I'm not sure why you would brag about that. Don't talk to my clone that way. Wait, you two get along and then I don't get along with you, how does that work? It's because I'm dumb. All right, well, now that there's three of us, I feel like it opens up a whole new world

of Halloween costume ideas. We could be like the people from Mean Girls, we could be Snapcrackle Pop. We're actually going as a duo and we're gonna kill you. How does the scene end? How do I get out of here? See, I love Mean Girls, but it's it's just five errands. I could do that entire thing. So we had a rich let's recap. So you're

agree. You're also a clone name, Aaron. Whatever I'm getting Aaron fries. It's not trying to make clone happen. So you you had original, you had extra crispy, you had spicy Aaron. What were all the errands we had? Sweet and sour ranch. Boba Gukies. All right. For real. And back, we're going back to the serious business. Marty, we have to go back to the riddles. Why are you a dog? Your car. Your courage you'll all need to muster when your backpacks are fusion combustors and your jobs fighting rates. If you have what it takes, then why not try and join the... Rath Rathes, don't tell me. Oh my god love.

Oh my god love. Rath Rathes, don't tell me. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do No, everything back then was a Jim Henson creation. He's a special effects my dear. I would love to. They need a Jim Henson. The same for the most recent Ghostbusters. Kate McKinnon's a person. Everyone else is muppet. That's how I'd break it down.

I want to see a scene. I'll be Kermit the Frog. Aaron, you be Miss Piggy. GBC is there any muppet you prefer to do? What is God's voice out like? I'm a God's arm. Nope. Nope. I'll be the count.

I'll be the count. I can do that. Okay. And the three of us are Ghostbusters and we're inside a haunted house trying to bust these ghosts. Um, why don't you, uh, why don't we stick together into, uh, let's remember not to, uh, cross streams. Uh, okay, for me, um, wait, a ghost.

I guess you can count him out. Um, count, I guess I've never heard you talk before. I wonder... Do you... Are you... Do you have a sore throat? Yes! For me, I think there's a ghost inside there.

Oh. Ah. Inside of him, ready? Oh, you think there's a ghost inside of me? Well get it get it out Okay, we'll calm down and let's uh oh oh I know how to get it out without hitting you with our lasers because that will kill you Okay I'll try anything why are there so many ghosts in your throat? I'm poopies!

Oops! I pooped the ghost! Take that scene, shoot it into space, wait for a reply. Right, Hianu is truly iconic as this badass, not Johnny Namanik, some villains Hillwack, and he's thinking he's back in the action-packed story of Titanic. It's an adventure. You got it. It's John Wick. I know you know it. All right.

I need to see a scene. You two are too Hollywood writers and you're trying to think of a new Like franchise for Keanu Reeves to do after John Wick that capitalizes on how much of a badass he is Okay, so let's think so Todd. Let's let's kind of just have a brain sash. Yeah brain sash Let's try and circle back. Let's circle back You know why are we trying to reinvent the wheel when you know John Wick Works so well. How about we do a reimagining and it's called wick John and what happens is a dog's owner gets killed And then the dog goes after who killed his owner

Can I won't do a dog voice? We've already asked him to but that's okay. That's okay. I love your heads out But guess what sure sure. Yes, we already have ownership of so many properties that we haven't actually franchised yet more sushi You want some more sushi? Oh, yeah, I Gere is killing oh I love sushi Would you like some more crap very good? Oh oh? That hits a spot right up your nose hole And I am not surprised to see you two back in the emergency room.

So we did a little look-see-a-deer-sidasis. We can't afford to go game here. I have fun Hollywood doctor. Who are the worst? So we're gonna have to try to get that out. I'm just gonna tickle your noses and you should be able to sneeze them out. You know what might get it? Oh, play a lot, play a lot, play a lot.

Okay. You know what might get it out? A widow cocaine. Yeah, could you just maybe have a sushi on a cocaine? Please, a prescription. Please. Okay, all right, but only because we're in Hollywood and I'm a really cool doctor. Yeah!

Yeah! I'm Fiona Reeves, by the way. My grandpa was the MGM lion. See, this is what I mean in Hollywood. You have to know someone or order to get a job. This motherfucker is getting... Do you laugh, do you? Because his grandpa is the MGM lion.

I'm one of the Clinton cousins. See. All right, last one. Then we'll go on a break. These are great. Thank you. Yeah, Aaron is doing, Aaron Damon Rush, you're great. Thank you. No, it's not

something that you use on hair and the fans of this movie are quite rare, but JPC raves about Nicholas Cage and his hammy performance in... Face off. Face off. Their jerks Aaron don't listen to them. Can I have air? Who was I just talking to? Oh, Rob White. Us, just now. Did you forget? Rob White texted me like three days ago, and he said him and his wife, Megan,

who are both wonderful people and wonderful improvisers. And he said, we sat down to watch face-off, because Megan remembered how much she loved it. And in an hour into the film, Megan turns to Rob and says, at what point does he get on the plane? And Rob said, what are you talking about? She goes, I remember loving this movie,

but I thought he got on the plane much sooner. And he goes, you're thinking of Conair. And so they stopped watching it and switched to Conair. Honestly, they're both great, but Conair, I got to say, takes the cake. Conair, a better film. I do love Conair, I gotta say, takes the cake. Conair, a better film. I do love Conair. So good.

Also, they make wonderful hair products and appliances. It's quick wraps from Conair. It's quick wraps from Conair. Whoa. I love my duty that so much. Well, I love when we take break so much. So why don't we take a quick break so I can get my fix and we'll be right back

after these messages. Where's my fish? Did my nose? Hey GPC. Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Atal. And I'm setting up a website to prank him. Um, can I just need some advice? This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace.

I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Atal. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online, whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand. Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website. It engaged with your audience and so anything for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here.

Come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC, and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace,

you can have custom merch, you can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you, saving you time and money. What is happening?

Okay. Wait, what's going on with Adel? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing, new, and he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics, use insights to grow my business, and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool.

I'm going to improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my Prank website, the Prank tattoo. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. The website was for. Prank.

With Squarespace. Yes, with Squarespace. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey, JPC, hey, JPC. What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine,

head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back. She's back. Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house?

Wait. I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adel and JPC. Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an empath. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way.

I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, have there never truly is a middle of the woods? No, funny to think about something like that like how they're never truly is a Middle no, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. How do you help? Yeah, actually so as per Robert Frost I don't know if you know his poems he has a poem called better help I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever Aaron you should try Better help have you heard of this you seen this Mm-hmm because sometimes Aaron in life were faced with tough choices and the

path forward isn't always clear whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you owl owl. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Mm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of

the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Mmm, dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. Mmm.

And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelpHELP.com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the two D.

See the latter, JP, see, hoping at home. Bye, JP. I am home. Who are we? What is this? I, uh, clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to, uh, I know it's JPC's birthday.

And we're all so excited to talk about him. But I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. Oh, and that is the app rocket money. Oh, yeah, Aaron. That's one of my favorite things as well. Uh, um, rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills all in one place.

I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, uh, sorry, I also want to give it a toast. Rocket money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you and for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel and Rocket money will cancel quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel. And Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Clint, Clint, Clint.

It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off over three million. Oh, Clint, Clint, Clint, over three million people have used Rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rock. Stop. Stop. No, clink, clink, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwirted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocket money.com slash riddle. That's rocket money.com slash riddle. Rock at money.com slash riddle. Intel and JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money. The website. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you Hey, Adel, you got a little something like your nose. It looks like half of a full fish, just like coming out of your nose.

How do you know it's half of a full fish and not just the bottom half of a fish? Aaron. Yeah, I guess that's what the important question is right now. Aaron is an optimist. The fish is always cold. The fish is always cold. The fish is always. The fish is always pulling up your nose. Fish is half empty.

Oh God. Okay. Well, we are back to some listeners submitted riddles. Those first ones are from Aaron. Thank you so much, Aaron. And these are from Scott from Nova Scotia, Canada. Oh, Nova Scotia. We're going to call you Nova Scotia.

And there's nothing that you're going to do about it. Yeah, it's like Scott. Nova Scotia. Nova Scotia. We're gonna call you Nova Scotia. And there's nothing that you can do about it. Yeah, it's like Scott, Nova Scotia, Nova Scotia. Inafgreen Gables. So, are we talking about Annafgreen Gables? Aaron's had to complete what a you whip around. Which you heard you say Annafgreen Gables. Yeah, it's unfortunate it wasn't a 360 because now she's talking behind her.

I could talk about it all day. Okay, here we go. These are from Scott from Nova Scotia. Nova Scotia. Scott wrote some original riddles for us that are really cool and very unique. So let's get into them. I'll be the judge of that, Scott.

The following riddles are two line rhymes that hint towards the answer, but the special part of these riddles is that the answers will all have your names in the answer word. Wow. As in, the answer will contain all the letters of your first name in the proper order like your name,

but hidden throughout. I know. This is a riddle doctor and they are blowing my mind. Yeah, and they're about to find some sushi up, you know. So this sounds more complicated than it actually is. So for example, with the name Aaron, which is my name, an answer could be bearing because of B-E-A-R-I-N-G. Answer could be bragg bearing because of B E A R I N G

Thank you for saying. We are I N all showing up in the right order Got it right order, but they could have other letters in between them. Yes, and I think That they're all one word for the most part Will we know the person that is the subject matter of the riddle answer? Will we know it's an Aaron John or Adel? Well, it's up to you. I think we should. I think it makes it a little bit easier.

So I'm going to, if that works for you guys, but it's up to you. Let me check with my schedule. Let me check with the fish up my nose. Tuesday nothing, Wednesday nothing. Okay, water, water, water, please help me water, but me back and watch. I'm all clear. I can definitely up my nose. Tuesday nothing, Wednesday nothing, Thursday nothing. Water, water, water, please help me water, but leave back and watch. I'm all clear. I can definitely do that.

I'm good, I can make it work. That's what you said to the fish. Ha ha ha ha ha. Yay, let me check my schedule. All right, I have time to do this too. And the fish up my nose doesn't need any water, so I'm good to go. All right. It's a fish up my nose. All right any water so I'm good to go. Uh, right.

It's a fish up my nose. All right, let's start with Adel's name. Show her your. Show her your name. No. Fiddle, Adel. Fiddle, fiddle. Don't just guess.

An elderly man who stops you from passing. Adel. But the fish is serving me. I won't bother asking. An elderly man who stops you from passing. I'm sure you've seen the movie. I won't bother asking. An elderly man who stops you from passing. I'm sure you've seen the movies. I won't bother asking. Okay, an elderly man who won't let you pass.

This sounds like the game monopoly, but we're told it's a movie. What movie has an elderly man who won't let you pass? Maybe this is like a teacher? I like to solve the puzzle for $1.00. Yes. JPC. And let me see what I can find on my desk. You shall not pass. The answer is of course, oh God. I forgot the name of the old? A ball frog? A ball frog. No. What's the name of the old man? Can't tell. Gattle.

Gandalf. We A and D. A L. S. I would be a terrible cheerleader. That's mind-blowing. I never realized Addle was in the word Gandalf. That's exciting and outstanding.

And John is in the word ball frog. Ball frog. I think ball frog was also like a street fighter character. Amen. Yeah, you it was that fire demon as a playable street fighter character. You whipped ass. He fucking ripped into the house. Any time I played street fighter, I was always pippin and I would get fucking owned. From the musical. Yeah, he's sitting in the corner and eating. No, he was playing Scotty. I want to see Pippin from Lord of the Rings doing circus acts and singing while wearing the number 33.

Well, someone just immediately picked up their colored pencils and I'm like, all right, well, I guess this is what I'm doing today. Okay, wait, what do you think? Would Pippin from Lord of the Rings make a better dream team basketball player or would Scotty Pippin make a better habit? I'd like to see both All right a politicians word for crazy or a surfers word for sweet. I prefer the surfers way the waves are hard to beat tubular Yeah, your name is in the word to be a la. So that works. T-U-J-P-C-L-A-R.

Oh, this is Racka Apple? Yep, this is still your name. Racka. Racka. C-A. Racka. Racka. C-A.

I like my cows' bungos and I like my radicals new. I would actually like to see a scene really quick. Okay. Yeah, you two are surfers, but you are like both new to it, but you think the other ones sort of an authentic surfers so you're trying to fit in and be cool and say all the right words. Oh man, I'm so freaking stoked to hit these gnarly waves.

Caramunga my brother. Right, surfs down. I can't wait to get out there and absolutely shee on these lettuce sticks. Yeah, I'm gonna skid all over this salt soda. I can't wait to paddle out on my, uh huh, thin stick and really really crunch up those wavorinos. Yeah I'm gonna hop on this booger plank and just fucking up right and down side.

And we're both on the same page. We're surfers. We're about to get in this splish splash take a bath sauce. That's right. Gonna jellyfish my dick into eternity. Hey, yeah, I'm just a shark in the water, but... Oh! You think you... You don't smell like authentic surfers, my guys. Uh, we're... We're...

We're really authentic, co. Do you want to taste some of our blood so we can preve it? Mmm. Would a non-authentic surfer... authentic co. Do you want to take some of our blood so we can prove it? Mmm. Would a non-authentic surfer know the surfer keyword? Tarmular! Yeah, if we're not surfers, why are we wearing parkas? Uh, YouTube our business dudes who just recently quit. I can smell it a mile away. Surf's up, my guys! I never stopped swimming! I am in a wet suit.

See? All right. If you're having trouble with the quiz, I've got something for you, buddy. Take this pill and swallow it. It'll surely help you study. Slimey to the moon. I don't know why I started saying it like that. That would be Adderall.

Is that a crooner who's selling you drugs? Well, I want to see you see. Adder, you're gonna be this town's first drug dealing crooner. Okay. Hey man. Hey, hey, hey, hey, you want to do a drug deal? Hachi mama. Stop, stop, stop. Sorry, I'm trying to get...

Take away your pain. Do us nor cocaine. You're being so strong. Everybody knows you're buying drugs. A-chah! Sir, do you need to have that microphone? I'm just trying to get some sushi cocaine. What's your name, little lady?

Where are you from? Are you doing crowd work with me? Yeah. My name is... You can call me Marissa and I'm from... Marissa, I want to kiss you, but first... Here's some heroin. No, I didn't even ask for heroin. Can I just have some sushi cocaine to go? Please, and please be like more discreet.

I wish, I wish I could snort a little fish and do some aquarium lines, though, which I... Okay, well the... I fell on my head and now I can only sing like this! Yeah, and the acoustics in this alley are amazing and I wish you all the best, but can I just... I wish you fented all the best, drive yourself! Alright, we're getting caught, interested right now and I am not surprised.

I shouldn't have taken it. Take me straight to jail. I will burn in hell. I love this guy. I could do this all day. Yep, that's me. Johnny Blue Eyes. I see.

All blue pills. A puppy, a kitten, a kid, a fawn, or anything that's cute. If small and precious and oh so sweet, A puppy, a kitten, a kid, a fawn, or anything that's cute. If small and precious and oh so sweet, this word will always suit. Adorable. Adorable. Adorable. Adorable.

Adorable. Adorable. Adorable. Adorable. Adorable. Adorable. Adorable. Adorable.

Adorable. Adorable. Adorable. Adorable. Ad, it's for the Adderall. I take... See, you're the apple of my eye. I don't know. A crab apple? Am I a crab apple? I don't know much, JPC. I do know that it's 843 pm and I'm tired.

Okay, the next one is... Miss Mrs. Kerbappel, supposed to be Mrs. Kerboppel supposed to be Mrs. Krabapple? I don't know Liam. Something to think about. Okay, so this next one is still to last add-on one. Are you ready? Yes, I'm ready. Do you watch the office?

If not, I won't make you. If you do, you'll see Michael at this resort in Jamaica. Scandals. Is it sandals? I think sandals, yeah, I don't know. The others. Can I call you sandals? Sure.

Thank you. All right. That was great. Thank you, Kevin. Kevin, ADAL. It's no Steve. Well, you can call me Kevin. Scott.

You could call anyone Kevin and it works for the show, which is the best part about what we've done. I feel like I'm back at my high school reunion. Steve, Scott, Kevin? Glenn, Tommy? Wait, this is just a chair wearing a name tag. I should have went back to my own high school. What'll be guessing my cousins?

What's going on here? Shit, I should have gone to my high school reunion, huh? That would have been easier. For this to exist, oh, sorry, I should have gone to my high school reunion, huh? That would have been easier. For this to exist, oh, sorry, I should say. These are JPC's names. Hm. These are JPC's names. You get it.

For this to exist, tech needs some improvement. Strap this on your back for some much faster movement. Jump pack. Jump pack. Jump pack. What is that? No, Aaron, jump back. There's a spider in front of you. Honey, she has to ask you can't afford it.

Oh no. I poor. I'm so poor. I can't afford a jump pack. Look at the poor girl who does the avid jump pack. What am I supposed to do at weddings when they play jump around? Everyone will be jumping towards the ceiling. I love going to a store and be like,

how much is this siniburst? If you ask, kind of, you can't afford it. You can't afford it. Surely I can. You know it, right? No, I don't. I wasn't even listening. You got it. Jump pack? Jump? Well no I don't I wasn't even listen you got it. Jump pack jump. Well not jump but something Jack. Yeah, jet pack. Oh jet. Paxaling. Mm. Pig. Pig surprises.

Fuck. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Oh, okay. That is a horror movie to me. There is no two words I want further away from each other.

And a sentence that pig and surprise. Pfft. That's true. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I know the answer if JPC wants any help or work to pass. And I know the answer as well so if Adel you want any help, why don't you say the first part and I'll say the second part. The first part might as well jump. Pick fight. Yep it's jump. Jump share jump share. Jump share.

Snap out of it. A road trip with friends you leave tonight. You'll use this slang word if the car is filled too tight. What are we a fucking clown car? Well, I get it because I'm a clown. So that's that's your little funny joke. It's clown cars. The answer because you think of a clown. Well, I got news for you, Kevin, whose name I do remember, and now I'm just being belligerent. Oh, this is a name for a car. If it's back to tight. Oh, yeah. So yeah. You said a word that it was going to help you Oh yeah, so yeah. Mm.

You said a word that was gonna help you because I said if the car's filled to tight. Sardine. Packs like a tent of ser... Yeah, your name's all over, Sardines. You said something, you said a word that I didn't use, but... Me or JPC?

You did, cattle. Mm. Clown? I can, I always forget that you guys can't tell I'm not looking directly at you Oh, oh, oh is this like a hyphenated word yeah kind name. I know. I know it. Yes. Yes cold as sack. It's cold as sack The sea is the beginning of my day. It's like it's like if you listen to last episode It's like don't just don't like fucking quit. I quit fuck you to Just don't oh I fucking quit I quit fuck you to

We're like a bunch of cultis acts in the back of this car. I'm a new friend who's gonna ruin the trip Casey enter the sound effect of the MGM line roaring now Where if I get jam packed it here like a couple of cultis X Yep, you got a jam packed And there's only three for you there's more for us.. What am I getting crest? Are you fucking kidding me? Right it's you Another one Kevin if you can't if you don't have four you can't afford them Damage if the shoe quits fire it do I only have three because I have three letters and you and I don't have four because you have four letters Yep, fuck. Yep

Mm-hmm. I've always said out of all the podcast out of all the podcasts letters and you and Adel have four because you have four letters. Yep. Fuck. Yep. I've always said out of all the podcast, out of all the podcasts. Look, there's New York and there's LA and those that do podcasts. Okay, we are not either one. We're in the middle of the good. Not even on a podcast. I would totally hit this podcast and just sarp up and down. Out of all the podcast hosts, the three of us have the least amount of letters in our combined names.

That has to be true. No one look it up. No one look it up. A piece of metal through a hole in your body. Don't get one at Claire's. They'll put it in shoddy. Shoddy. Let me put up piercing in you shoddy.

Go shoddy. It's not good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It you shot a go shadi. It's not scourcing Go shadi. It's a clear is here. We're gonna pierce your ears and the clear's hair Pearson, yeah, but not a piercing, but what can what do you put in a piercing? Neo sport yep, you put a neo Neospor in in. Do you guys, um, sorry, um, Claire, Claire, do you mind holding down? Huh? Do you guys find holding down Bronson? I'm about to pierce him. You guys, I think Neospor in might work. All right. And wait, isn't, I'm, no, hold on it. Dead. Stop. I don't want to give free publicity to fucking Casey Tony's podcast. Yeah, it does

Neo Sport and works there and that's one stop saying that word. We're not that fits. We're not promoting Casey's podcast. Oh, man You have to listen to tuck wizard on Neo Sport. I love it. Neo Sport Neo Sport. Neo Sport technically works. My name's in there, but that's not the one that Scott said. And happy new sport and Friday to all of you sporoes out there. Also, I'm getting fully called out here because I got my ears pierced at Claire's and I ended up okay, right? I don't get sick anytime. You have clear things.

Anything happens. I don't get sick at the drop of the hat. You know it. What goes into piercing? He drops on me, drops their hat, you barf. Who drops this hat full of sickness? All over the bowl. Oh. Soon.

What goes into a piercing? A stud. No, come on. We wear them in your ears. A jeweled piece of crap. A ring. Oh, and earring. your ears? A dueled piece of crap. A ring, oh, and earring. There you go, a jewel piece of crap. Earing has JPC, isn't it?

No, I'm looking for a name. I'm looking for a name, remember? Oh, I was so confused. That's what happened. All right. A leader? I wanna see a singer. Okay, yeah, go ahead.

Your name's Zach too? No, that's why I'm so fucking confused I want to see you seen Aaron you are the main Piercer at Clairs JPC you are a nervous teen Getting their ear pierced for the first time and Aaron you're trying to sort of a swage JPC spheres Hey, welcome to Clairs. What do you want pierced? I just just my ear just my just my my left my left and my right.

Which one's left and which one's right? It's just both earlobes. Uh, so in any order. Awesome. I'm face having my boyfriend. He lives in Oklahoma while we do this. We are in Oklahoma. Can I ask you a question? Yeah, I'll live here. Can I ask you a question? You have so many piercings. Does it hurt? Sure. Um, so I normally get pretty drunk before my shift and do it really nice. Make sure you trust them. You're like educated on sex stuff. And, no, I'm not at all.

Hey, can I be honest with you? Will there be a lot of blood? Because when I see blood, it makes me sick to my stomach. What I'm sorry. I am FaceTiming my boyfriend. What do you mean you want to break up maybe? Oh, what a beautiful break up. Oh, what a beautiful ends Sorry my boyfriend's the town

Okay, yeah, I healed my time hold on okay, so what do you said blood? Yeah, just when I was 11 my parents were killed in front of me. Oh my god. Yeah, so it I see blood now It just makes me have a 17 16 years what's going on? No Wait, wait, wait, wait Good joint good joint Boy, can you hear some pure snow blood? Keep it low. Let me know.

See, and that was Batman's origin story. When I want my ears pierced, I go to Claire's. And when I'm going clear, I join Scientology. You know, that made me go like, Hey, women are going to be the people you trust because I trust the 15 year old girls at Claire's who pierced my ears more than I trust most doctors. They really had their shit together.

Fair enough. Because they would listen to you and they would listen to you when you described your pain threshold. Oh yeah. They wouldn't go, you don't feel pain. Yeah, well, we get a lot of people in here that tell us that they feel pain,

but we're doctors, we're better. And we never make mistakes. I've been seeing so much stuff on the internet. It's pretty universal that like, a lot of people who have male OBGYNs have been told by them that period pain isn't that bad. They're like actually having your period is not bad. It's not painful at all. And you're like, huh?

It's like doing a little fart after a big steak dinner. Something me and my catillac know something about. Listen, I'm a doctor. The cadavers never scream when I cut them. Any whootle. I'm sorry, you're a cadaver. Oh, you do I am. Your job is not necessary. Right. OGB by then. Um, OGB by then. I didn't come out the way I wanted it to.

And this one might one might be tricky. Ready? At an h to your name and it becomes heron. What is hair made from to keep it from Terran? Theramins. Theramins. Can you imagine if your hair was made of Theramins? Thought it wasn't me? What a musical haircut. This is a really fun thought experiment.

Thank you Adela. I'm gonna think about that. You're welcome. I'm just glad you're both witness to me losing my mind. No, you're perfect. What is what is what is here? What is hair made of? That makes it you can get like a treatment of this.

Retinol. Like a script? No. You can get a treatment. F. Retinal. Like a script? No. You can get a treatment, follicle. follicle, that's what I said. Hold on, I hear it so excited. I hear it so excited because I said that.

This is for Aaron. It's like a protein in your hair. Did you know that rhinos horns are made of hair? That's fucked. Cartilage. No, you can get like a treatment of it. I don't think I know this. What can you give me?

What is, yeah, what does the word start with? K. Caratine. Mm-hmm. Is it carrotine? Sorry. I'm sorry. I was holding up a picture of the new

commentable character I've created. His name is carrotine. And he has the best vision of any teenager. Now what is he with this? Yeah, bit'm sorry. I was holding up a picture of the new comic book character I've created his name is carrot teen No, and he has the best vision of any teenager now. What is he with? Yeah, I'm scared it. Oh, I Was speaking my rabbit and I think they care it that me Yeah, I think it's I can't I don't know if it's carrot teen or carrot tin Carrot tin carrot teen you'll either way you got it. Either way, we're moving on to points in the board. Well again, his name is Carrot tin and coming back from the opera, his parents were shot in an alley. Now shot with a dose of carrot tin, making them stronger so they never die.

This superhero has no complaints. No, I love it. I think that you're going to make a million dollars. I think my number one complaint is, Sunday dinner with my parents. I'm 42, let me live my own life. You're living forever. What do you care? 42, carrot teen. All right, this is the last one. This one's a little dirty, so if you're,

with someone who isn't a grownup, who likes dirty things, skip a hat. Hold their hand, oh. Nope, if a teenage boy is behind a door with a lock, there's a pretty good chance he's doing this with his weener. Mass Aaron Bating. Is Aaron's name in masturbating?

It's the more like crass. Jacking Aaron. The other one that's sort of similar to that. Oh, jerking in like what hackers do. Yeah, I mean, I mean, why are we just gonna jerk in tonight? I'm jerking into the net. Maybe get some takeout jerk in. You get it. Mary life, thank you Scott from Nova Scotia, Canada. Jerking off, jerky. Me and the wife are so comfortable on each other. We just send on the couch to stare at each other and drag off.

And then Scott said that he liked the riddle city new art. Yep, so thank you so much for listening, Scott. Um, oh Scott, you're fucking so smart. You like the most popular episodes? How about maybe some deep cut Scott? What are we doing? What are we doing this guy? We're letting him say, oh yeah, I really like a Vincere's Endgame. Yeah, all the fucking characters were in it Scott. Motherfucking bullshit with this guy.

Some people just like the best stuff. You can't, you can't, you can't do another second of a real podcast. It might be fun to rewatch Age of Ultron, Adil Sherlock episode. Oh, that was a good one. I liked that because we did real ad, we did like ads in it. It was, it was crazy. That was fun.

That was like a hard one for my brain, but I remember enjoying it. Hey, and maybe occasionally it'd be fun to pop in to Thor too, the dark world. Pretty much any of JPC's episodes appear equally little about all of them. That's the worst of all the... I'd say, okay, if we were... If our episodes were each an Avenger,

which Avenger would they be? Mine would be Jubilee. Mine would be the Mandalorian because all of my good ones are behind a paywall. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You do have some like all star Patreon upsets. I would say mine are all my episodes are Hawkeye.

Mostly just sort of there in the background, they're to support, all of scenarios. were there in the background there to support. Um, my, mine are the Edward Norton Hulk. They have no, they have no place in the current world. No, no, no, they have no, my minor like the middle wolverine movie. If you, if you hit Logan, you've got too far. If you if you hit Logan you've got too far. JBC yours are Iron Man, Adel yours are the third just the third Thor. Can I just say Marvel if you're listening I have a few pitches.

Marvel yours are Guardians of the Galaxy. Please Marvel please let me write a storyline for you. I can write carrot teen. I can wall I can write Wolverine. I have an idea for a night crawler story and it's called the teleportance of being earnest. Marvel please let me write a story. Didn't you say that you had I have an idea for a night crawler story and it's called the teleportance of being earnest marvel Please let me write a story for your call Didn't you say that you had one that was a superhero who was a circle?

I'm in their origin story was they got slightly melted another oval team That's right his name is oval team. He's a chocolatey mess But he has vitamins I think we think. Speaking of vitamins, when I take vitamins in the morning, I don't shit all day, which plug me up, sub to the fears. Aaron, do you have anything that you would like to plug? And shit, you wanna talk about?

Yes, I would say I think that oval teen would be a really good nemesis for carrot teen. That's true. Yeah. Or yeah, there's something there. Follow me here and keep 10 on Instagram. Gps is the week that I. Yeah, absolutely.

Cool. And then I have some fun news. I got to be on the Bill Buds podcast. And I had the best time ever. I talked about the fun album A-Mint Ignite. It was truly so exhilarating to talk about music on a podcast. And I had never really met or talked to Johnny before, and there was a time where the episode ended,

and him and I just talked about the Beatles longingly, and I thought, we have to have brunch. For JPCs witnessing us trying to have brunch and talk about the Beatles, it is such a delightful podcast. I've been listening to it so much. I check out the Arnie Parrot episode where you talk about Miley Cyrus. It's amazing. It's I had the best time and please go check out the Bill Buds podcast.

It's amazing. And if you're listening to this on the day that this episode comes out, your episode comes out next Monday. So it's like what, four days until yours comes out. But yeah, but I can't wait. Be on the lookout. Obviously, you can listen to the billbots popcast. You can also follow me on Twitch, twitch.tv slash shark barkman.

That's where I met Monday through Friday, doing my fucking bull shit. Addle anything to plug? I'm going to keep plugging it while episodes are coming out. Please check out Hey Tavern Tavern over on Stitcher Premium. It's a magic tavern spin-off with myself, Aaron and JPC playing characters in Fune, solving relationship questions for Funeish citizens. You can use the code Magic MAGIC to get a free month of Stitcher, so use that wisely and check it out. We had a blast doing it. I'm actually also running a Stitcher promotion right now for you to also receive free access to Stitcher.

It is a guess my password Stitcher promotion. So just try to guess my username, try to guess my password, and you can have access to everything on Stitcher Premium. Good luck to all the people participating. I have a guess that your password. Please. Jupiter boobs. By forever.

Boob's forever. Boob's forever. That's what you said.bib's. Buh-bib's. Buh-bib's. Boob's Jupiter. That's what user name. Oh, okay. Boob's Jupiter. Marble's lights on. Casey Tony to the editing.

Now I already heard you. Let me know what you think. Buh-bib's. Buh-bib's. Buh-bib's. Buh-bib's. Buh-bib's. Buh-bib's.

Buh-bib's. Buh-bib's. Buh-bib's. Buh-bib's. Buh-bib's. Buh-bib's. Buh-bib's. Buh-bib's. Buh-b's. Card Amos and M.O.N. Immortals. Hey there, girls and scouts. If you like that, you're gonna love this week's Patreon. It's this day in improv history. You can listen to that plus our entire Bat Catalog at patreon.com-hayrittle-rittle-rittle by joining the Clue Crew for $5 a month or the review crew for $8 a month.

See you there!