Hey Riddle Riddle - #139: My Honk Will Go On

Episode Date: March 17, 2021

If you like songs about the beach, oh boy, do we have the episode for you! All that plus we travel back to a time when homes were affordable, a deadly and dire situation and a last minute phone call, a father and son bonding on the open sea, some of our cartoon favorites a little further down the road, two scientists cooking up something sweet, and another restaurant scene. We do a lot of those. Oh, and send us your novelty honk song suggestions! Happy #WiddleWednesdayStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. I'm on the beach and I'm a little crab. I'm sitting in the sand and I miss my dad. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. I'm in the ocean, and hold on. Wait, wait, wait, wait. What? We waited for 10 minutes to start recording. Well, Adel said, let me think of a thing,

let me think of a thing, let me think of a thing. That's what we waited for, we waited for, I'm a little crab and I'm sitting on the beach. I told you, I have a process. Adel, I'm in love with you. I love it. That's one of the best openings we've ever done. I love it. Please, Aaron, let's get it anyway.

I'm in the ocean and I've got a little notion that I'm a cute fish and I'm about to dish. I mean the water and I feel a little hotter because the tip is rising and I'm going smiling. Flies. I'm a kid on the beach and I can't reach a little crab by my toe. Oh no. I'm away all in the ocean and I've got a little notion that I might swim ashore. Just not to be your bar. I am a little notion that I might swim ashore. Just not to be your bar.

I am a bucket. I got sand in my bottom. And if you ask me, I voted for Hillary Rotterman 2016. Not my president. I'm an umbrella, and your cube fell. So I'll keep you in the shade. So you will have it made. I'm a big shark, and I'm a shark.

I'm an ice cold beer and do not fear. If you're feeling parched, let's throw some darts. Oh, I'm a sunburn, and you've got to learn to protect yourself. And, uh, don't leave the aloe. Oh no, you grab the aloe from the shelf. Ah, my dad on vacation and boy, I know my station. It's pleasing my life, so there is no strife. And I'm JPC. I'm at a reply are you sure we shouldn't do that

the whole time I'm a real reef I saw a little you and my heel I'm in teeth no I can't do it I'm in teeth. No, I can't do it. I'm in I'm in I'm in I'm in teeth. Oh, yeah, that's perfect No, that actually is a really good impression. It's sing songy. It also sounds like you might cry in any second You're making people nervous. I love it The emotional waiver of Aaron's voice is so hard to capture Mmm, and you're listening to hey riddle riddle. This isn't it. I believe it or not an improvised podcast. No None of none of this is written. None of this is written. None of this is talked about or planned beforehand Where an improvised podcast where we solve riddles and we do a little improv scenes along the way and if this is your first time listening Try a different episode don't't give up. Skip back.

We have some good ones. Yeah, don't give up. Yeah, go ahead. We can skip back and I go to like a fucking weird one where we're talking about Blue Man group giving each other a blow job. And they're like, you told us to go back, we listened and it's worse.

We had some audio mixing issues and some of the first ones. So maybe not those. There has to be some good ones that we can pull. The middle ones, we had that crazy feud. It was sort of like a Joan Crawford, Betty Davis type feud. None of us would look at each other, we were poising each other's food. So don't skip those. There's one, there's one pretty early on, maybe 17, where you really can't hear Aaron, we were recording in a studio that

was not our studio and we just didn't have an episode. That's not what happened. Don't lie on International Women's Day. You both pelt the plug the entire time for my microphone and went, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. No, no, no, no. We boxed air it out and we boxed it at like 15 feet from the mic and she had to just shout out the mic. And I was still the funniest one in that episode.

Boom. True. I think our best episodes go, you're gonna want to search your podcast system for off-book. That's what we used to go by. So check out off-book for probably our best episodes, but they still start with four second little songs about the beach. Yes. How's everybody doing? I'm doing great. It's a little hot in here, and by that I mean I'm dying. So I might shut off my video and take off a layer. Well, Aaron, I would say that pretty much any room that you're in is going to be a little hot.

And we should say that Aaron is wearing a seven layer dip. Let's see, it's got that black bean has to be found. Aaron, it is on the day that we're recording it and two days, nope, that's not true. I think we're a week out at this point, but on the day that we are recording this, it's International Women's Day. So I have to ask you, how can we worship you, Mike Queen? That's enough. That was funny and I'm happy now. Thank you.

Just to celebrate women, do you mind putting your feet up to the microphone? That is so funny. Sorry, those ears can hear your feet. No, no, this how they sound. Hi, I'm Ant. I enjoyed the rhymes that she made, but I think she could have done a little bit better. Those are my feet. Wow. How are you guys? Good Good, okay cool. Yeah, I'm good. I

I took this week off and by that I mean I don't do anything I just like I twitched I twitch stream I twitch stream, but I occasionally do like podcast recordings but I basically cleared my calendar for a week just to work on some side projects and do little fucking administrative tasks or I have to get a coat repaired. So just like errands and stuff like that. And it's gonna- Like getting more eye coffee and stuff.

It's so much. She drinks one of these every day. But it doesn't matter if a girl bus. Oh my god. But you know what? That's how I worship her, my queen. And this is it's it's yeah, so I feel good. I feel it's very rare that I am I haven't played video games for four hours in a day. So now, you know, I feel very different, but I feel good. Yeah, has your personality changed now that you're you haven't played video games for a couple days?

I would say that I'm still hard to be around. Still pretty and sufferable. I'm not sure that's a direct correlation. I think that you're maybe just insufferable and people who play video games can be nice. Aaron, that's an interesting point for such an annoying shit. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Thank you for worshiping me, you're queen. You're queen, I'm yeah, yeah.

Okay, I'm not leaving, I'm just shutting off my video. Keep talking. That's true. Speaking of been sufferable in shit heads, Jemma's been gone for two or three days. She's gone. No, no, no, hold on, that's not where this is going. She's been on it, she's been working,

so she's been on a trip. Okay. So I've been left alone to my own devices, so I decided to start rewatching Deadwood, because it's been like 10 years since I saw it. So as I'm like 20 episodes into Deadwood, I'm just alone around the house and I start talking to the cats and I'm like, come here, fries you little cocksucker, you fucking shit at, like the vulgarity of that show. I think so yeah, so 150 times in episode they say the most awful, despicable words.

So now I'm just like walking around the house being elsewhere injuing to my cats, which is very fun. Else, they say something, they're gonna start talking and go like, you know what, fine, he's gonna know that we talk. Listen to that. Rise, you cock sucker motherfucker. Elsewhere injuing, what a great bad guy.

Yeah. I guess he's the bad guy in that, right? Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Oh, that's a good question. He has no score. He has no score. He has no score.

He has no score. He has no score. He has no score. He has no score. He has no score. He has no score. He has no score. He has no score.

He has no score. He has no score. He has no score. He has no score. Well, I was trying to remember with Deadwood, I was like, is there a good guy? I guess Timothy Oilfront is kind of a good guy, but like Deadwood is just like all bad guys. It's basically Deadwood is very much like the wire where it's all gray. Like there's no black and white It's all great same with I guess with game of thrones like there's no real yeah, you know someone say high ground same with life

Yeah, heart reflection. No, I'm a queen. I'm perfect. I'm pretty happy. How can we worship today? Who are our favorite bad guys? I would say oh boy, this is tough I mean also engines great because he do sort of root for him because he's so, that actor is so great. I'll say one of my favorite bad guys of all time is Yago from a fellow. I think he's a great bad guy. The only, my only, like, qualm with Yago

is at the very end of the play. Like, he just, like, he gives it up and he's like, I'll say no more. And I'm like, I would like, I would burn it all down. I would, I would be like, fuck it, kill me, fuck it, kill me, kill me, a fellow. It is. And then he goes, I'm gonna go be a parrot.

Yeah, it is, yeah, it is weird to hear a parrot. Ghibel Godfrey doing Shakespeare is pretty unbearable. I would, I would watch an entire video. My kingdom for a loss. I almost did it. I was like, wait a second, he just said it would be unbearable. I would watch him do Richard III. I also love Scar.

Scar classic bad guy. Scar is great. Anton Shugga is pretty great. Oh yeah, that haircut. What a haircut., that haircut. It's what a haircut. A great haircut. I thought that should have swept the nation. But it didn't.

Give me a shudder. I guess it kind of did because it does look like a broom. Yeah, Christoph Lott in glorious bastards pretty good. Oh yeah. Alan Rickman Diehard, Hans Gruber. John Loveitz, the league of their own. Oh wait, who am I thinking of? You can play baseball. Oh my god.

I'm forgetting his name because my brain is in pain. Oh, give us a, oh, oh. He passed away recently. He played with Mika Potty. Oh, that's Phillips. He were off. Phillips, he were Hoffman in Mission, Mission Impossible. Oh, yeah. So good. Phillips, you were off into a good guy. Yeah. He's a great at everything, but he was so good at that. Mastering commander, he's pretty good. You know what? He got to watch these

villains. They're the ones that you love to hate. And they, they make the movies better. So if you're watching movies for the protagonist, I got news for you. It's called an antagonist and it's something that you might want to keep your eyes out for Oh, I also think Regina George is a great villain. Oh, yeah, what a good villain And Josh Josh Brolin is Thanos. He had a point who? Josh Brolin is Thanos. He had a point. Who? Josh Brolin. Yeah. How was that? The one who snapped, remember?

There should be a reality show with Thanos just called snapped. Oh my God. Adel, I'm glad you're left to your own devices. JPC, I'm glad that you are seeing the world for the first time and getting a coat fix. It's also, it was also a spoiler alert, 60 degrees in Chicago today, which is unheard of for March. It's a false spring, but I'll take it. I went for a walk. I got a donut, and then I walked home. Because my dog is sick. It needs to be taken out every hour and 15 minutes.

I did, one of the things that I did Aaron twice today is the horn in my car broke last year during the Black Lives Matter protests. I was just like laying on my horn during one There's a mechanic literally half a block from my house So I took it in this morning at like eight o'clock in the morning came back at like four and I was like, hey Is my horn done? I was like we haven't we didn't get to it I was like why did I bring it in but the thing with a mechanic is I looked up how to fix this horn on my own It took two pieces of electronic equipment that I don't have and I don't have that and I just can't do it So I'm at the mercy of a mechanic. So when I said to the man after I waited for nine hours and he

didn't fix my car, I was okay, I'll buy you a new tomorrow. Yes, sir. I will, if it's not too late, I will personally fund a novelty horn. Yes, I was just about to say I said, Adel, what are we paying him to kill? Yeah, if you want to get La Cucaracha, if you want to get where would I, where do I go? Do I go to this mechanic and be to get the cookaracha if you want to get where were like where do I go Do I go to this mechanic and be like hey by the way can you get me low rider by war is that no no I want you to get you raised me up by Josh Groban or Josh Groban talk about a Thanos snap Hong Kong

Josh Groban talk about a Thanos snap Means nothing it means absolutely nothing. Hey speaking of things that mean almost less than nothing We got to do riddles on this show because this is a riddles now. Jason's podcast. This is a podcast about what's the funniest honk I'm honk and I'm sunshine honk It's don't honk honk His honk has lyrics and then some words say honk. I don't know what they were from me. It's like the more honk honk. Oh, the single honk honk.

Oh, the single honk honk. Honk honk. Let me see that honk honk. You guys don't know what novelty hordes are. I've convinced the adult does not know what a novel is. I like what my horn goes Fuck Where Okay, please please send us your funniest song my honk will go on that's what I would I will I'll say this

I will not get enough of the horn and less it is my honk will go on so my Eric keep put into a horn in my car And I don't look up the lyrics before I record it The lyrics to my honk will go on. I got news for you. You can't find it Somebody honk me that you had a honk, okay? We're done fine fine. Oh, this is the episode. Please no, it's people will hate it. We cannot do that International honk day. You know how people there's that saying of like, be the good you wanna see in the world. This show is the opposite of that. We go, what's my worst nightmare

when I'm old men puzzles? And then we all do that thing. Yeah, yeah. I also responded to a bunch of emails yesterday or a couple days ago, and there were so many nice emails from people like saying like, hey, this has been a hard year. The show means so much to me.

It's so great that I found this. And I think about that all the time, well, we do my honk will go on. Because I'm like, we are betraying. We are betraying these people. We are betraying what we committed to. Betraying or actively hurting them. Yes, I harm.

I harm. I'll sometimes take a peek of the emails, but I saw the same emails and it was like, Hey, it's been a hard year. This has been a hard podcast to listen to. Please, please stop. Please stop. Go back into whatever hole you guys crawled out of enough already. We didn't honk honk honk honk. It was always honking since the world was honking.

So we're gonna do some listeners submitted emails today. And this first one is from, and I love this name, this is from Lime. So Lime said, hey, my name is Lime, love it. And I just started listening to your podcast. Well, this was a September of 2018. So I hope you stuck with it Lime. And wanted to submit the first lateral thinking puzzle

I ever solved, I think it's a lot of fun. And I give it to my friends sometimes. I do not remember the original clues that came with it. So I made some up, I am sorry. I love an email. I love an original submission that ends with I am sorry. Okay, so here is Lyme's riddle. A man and his wife are dead.

If the man had just one quarter, his wife would have lived. If he had two quarters, he would have lived. If he had three quarters, both the man and his wife would have lived. But his brother would have died. Why? The man and his wife had gumball deficiency disease. Don't joke about that, Adel, don't joke it serious.

I'm so sorry. It is International Women's Day. The wife was a queen and yeah that's how that's how you honor women. Very good. Thank you. She had the most beautiful feet that we will hear now. You know what? We'll take being paid the same. That would be nice. That's a start. Hire us. Let us vote for us. So if you had a quarter, he would have lived. If you had two quarters, him and his wife would have lived.

But if you had three quarters, his brother would have died. Yes. Okay. One quarter, wife would have lived. Two quarters, he would have lived. Three quarters, both the man and his wife live, but the brother dies. Why?

Is this like quarters of a chicken, like in the boys allergic to a poultry? No, these are coins. That's a great question. These are coins. Okay. So, place is, it's like not a parking meter, I bet. Correct.

Is it like bus fare? No, and let me just say, it's not bus fare, that's a good guess. That quarter quarter quarter, like that guess that does all make sense, but, yeah, pun. But think about like, this riddle is not a modern day riddle. This riddle is probably,

like a lot of people thinking puzzle is probably would maybe make more sense like 30 years ago. 25 years ago. When a quarter was $5,000. Exactly, you know, the past, the distant past. I found out how much money my grandfather bought my childhood home for recently, and I was pissed for a week.

He bought it for like $40,000 in the late 70s, which was at that time only like $100,000 by today's standards. And I was like, why do anyone talk to millennials? Leave us alone. You destroyed us. Leave us alone. Yeah.

Yeah, it's depressing to hear what the, like a generation, one generation or two generations above us got to have homes. That's my grandpa bought his house that my grandma and and him lived in for two kisses in a bird. I'm sorry they kissed a bird twice and then the bird owned the house. Yeah, sorry. My grandpa who is no longer with us actually built his house that my grandma who is still with us is currently living in and has lived in and raised all of her kids in and the startup capital that he used to buy the materials to build that house he got from a little man who whispered

a secret and spun him a hair's length of gold. But he had to give one of my I guess my dad my dad's aunt or uncle. We don't know. The child, the firstborn child, up to that little man, and he had a secret name. Rumpelhauskin. Yeah. I'm sorry? Rumpelhauskin?

You've got to bless you. I want to say a scene. We're back in the 1950s, Aaron, your real estate agent, JPC, you were in the market, and we're going to see about housing in that era. Oh, Kido, Kido, everyone is taxed fairly, and we're gonna go to the moon! I got a couple of sweet, sweet houses for you today.

Which one would you like to check out first? Well, I don't know too much about houses, but I need a place that I can put my hat in my briefcase when I'm not at work. And I do work a lot. I work six hours a day. And then I spend three hours of lunch just drinking whiskey. Oh my goodness, sit down. I had no idea. You work harder than anyone I know. I work for two blinks every month. Huh? Yes, yes. All right, well. That makes sense to me. Before we get started, actually, what is your budget? I even forgot to ask. Well, you'd have to ask the misses.

I just make the money and I hand it all to her. And when I say hand it to her, I do mean yell. I yell a lot. And it's generally toxic, but I don't know numbers. Now, I can't tell you what I need in terms of a house. I need a room for me, a reclining chair that overclines all the way back in a place that I can bottle up my emotions.

Ah, yes. For, and I, and I'm sorry, I'll, if it's okay with you, that's fine, okay. I need enough, basically I need enough room to do the twist. What about the shout? No, we're a decade away from that, right? We're a decade away.

You just need to twist no yelling, no shouting. All right, excellent. Well, you know what? This is what we do in the business. Everyone just turn your pockets inside out, and I will give you a house for whatever's in there. Here we go. That's 14 nickels, a Roosevelt.

Ooh, it'll lose cigarette. You can get a mansion right this way to the big old house at the top of the hill. Well, now, if we're gonna go into that mansion, I wanna make sure it has room for everything that we need. Now, my wife needs room for her exercise machine, which is just a, like I think, like a car engine and one band that goes around her waist.

And then she's real hard. It shakes her, and she just smokes, she chain smokes cigarettes. So, will the house have room for that? Oh, yes, of course. And just so you know, there's wallpaper. So the smell of cigarettes will stay in the house for a couple hundred more years.

Oh, and sweetie, I need a room for when I get the vapors. Yes, we'll need a vapor room, a sitting room, a waiting room, we'll need, I guess, what do- what children exist in? A terrarium? Oh, you have children? Well, not yet, but when the good Lord blesses us with some. Alright, we'll throw them up to the top floor of the house, you'll never have to see them, never learn their names, don't worry, you won't even know they exist. I guess I wouldn't be mad at a bathroom. Ooh. Oh, I take the stinkiest shit scene.

One quarter he would have lived to quarters his wife would have lived. Is this, is this like, does this involve a coin toss? Oh, that's really, that's great. No, it doesn't involve a coin toss. I, well I have a question. Is it a type of thing where you put a coin into something or is it that coin itself like protects you from something? It's like a bullet or something.

It's definitely a put a coin into something thing. Is it one of those? I have some clues. Oh, yeah, please. Sure. The quarters, the coins, the quarters, would have been used to make a purchase. The man and his wife were not together at the times of their death, and the man has an illness. So it would have been for a phone call to say...

Yes, first quarter is for a phone call. So one quarter he could have called his wife and said, come save me, I'm dying. The first quarter saves the wife. called his wife and said, come save me, I'm dying. The first quarter saves the wife. Saves the wife. Yeah. So he says, hey, I have this disease. You probably have it too. Go get checked out.

Go get checked out. That's always a fun phone call. Hey, that's such a fun phone call. I have to call, sorry, this is so embarrassing. I know we haven't talked in a while. Turns out I have stigmata. You might wanna get yourself checked out. Cool, I'm so glad that you called me

because I have crabs. Oh, what? I have a little crab, man, it's insane. I have had that phone call. It was my first year in Chicago. And I had, I guess you would say, a little bit of a one night stand. And okay. And the person called me and they were like, hey, I just like I went to the doctor and I

think that you should get like checked out and you know, I think you gave me something and I was like, oh, what? And so I would. You should get checked out. I have pregnancy. I have pregnancy. I might want to see if you have it. And I went to the doctor and they were like, nope, you're all good.

You got nothing. And so then I was like, I guess I now have to if you have it. And I went to the doctor and they were like, nope, you're all good, you got nothing. And so then I was like, I guess I now have to call that person back, if you like, keep calling people. Oh. Uh. Uh. Well, whoever called you is a very noble person, because I've had a lot of friends,

specifically female friends who don't get a call from that person, because the guys like, I don't want to have the I'm sorry that the person who called me was not being very noble. They were being very accusatory and they were very mad They were very mad at me for giving them a thing that I was like dude. I can't imagine how I would have done that So no that was it was it was not a fun that you give them your number though That's give him give him your number if they if you are safe. Listen up, motherfucker.

I have butt clams. And I think we both know. Who gave it to me? Hold on. I haven't been to Florida in three years. There's no way you've got butt clams for me. Shout out to anyone who has an STI right now. It's OK.

We're OK. It's going to be OK. Just drink lots of orange juice with your penis. No, no, no. Don't listen to JVC, the opposite of whatever doctor is. So first quarter saved the wife, because it says, Hey, you need to go to the hospital. Not that reason, but you've got the payphone thing. So the reason will relate to the third quarter.

So is it like, hey, your brother's coming after you run in hide? Yeah. Yes. Is it? Yeah. Okay. So hey, your brother's coming to kill you.

So get out of the house or something. But what about that? Yeah, what about that second quarter? So the first one's a pay phone. The second one she uses it to buy. He, he, he. This is not the one. This is the man using all three quarters.

So he calls his brother. No. That's, that, well, no. First one is a pay phone. Remember, this is the man has an illness. So he can save his own life with the second quarter. He follows it. Yes, he has quarter poisoning. And so, the other way to counteract the quarter

poisoning is while we get other. He's not making a call. He goes to the, he uses it as bus fare. Nope, not bus fare. I want to say, he buys it, twigs. Addle, yes, correct. So he has diabetes and he uses a second quarter at a vending machine for a sugary snack

to up his blood sugar. This sucks, I was trying to be an asshole, and I was right. And then the third quarter, if you had three quarters, so the solution says, the man has learned that his brother planned to kill him and his wife in order to take over the family business. The man was driving home to warn his wife

that his brother was going to kill her. He attended a kill his brother, but he went to diabetic shock along the way. If you had one quarter, he could have called his wife to warn her. If he had two, he could have bought something from the vending machine to fix his blood sugar. And if he had all three, he gets to his brother in time and kills him first. Wait, how does he get to his brother in time with 75 cents? Because he needed the vending machine was 50 cents basically.

So if he has one quarter, he has enough to call his wife. If he has two quarters, he has enough to save himself and not his wife. And if he has three, he can save both, but then he kills his brother. I see, I see. Yeah. And again, these are not the prices in Vinny machines, guys.

So don't say this in the email saying, I just went to buy a Twix and it was 125 because we know it was. I want to see a scene. Yes please. Aaron you are giving JPC a call. He is your husband. You're trying to warn him of something that's just very very urgent but you're also super hungry and you're getting distracted. but you're also super hungry and you're getting distracted. Oh, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up uh... baby i'm i'm teaching a diving class so we can have to get and walk you by mcdonalds oh my god that smell uh... okay well i'll be home at all the home at six and i i'm sorry i

on the news that there's a lion at the zoo and he escaped and uh... coach should i swim to the surface no stay down and don't talk that's you're losing all your air. Do not talk. Babe, no, I'm trying to tell you something. There's a lion at the zoo. Jill, Jill, Jill. Brought the shark with it. Like a lion is not at the pool is the safest place we could be if there's a lion out. There's a shark. They came out and then they're holding a picture of our house and they keep pointing at it

and cracking their knuckles. Babe, wait, oh, fuck, I'm smelling McDonald's. Okay, I have to go in. Hold on. Hold on, hold on, just gonna make one second. Wait, the... Um... Could I have... Oh, do McDonald's gonna take your order? Hi, yes, thank you. Um, uh, you have a new crispy chicken sandwich. Is that similar to the old one or is it like a whole new thing? Is it like spicy or something? It's actually the McRib, but we, um, we stamped the word chicken on it. Oh, awesome. Okay, never mind. I will take... Also, our pizza is back. Oh no, thank you.

Can I have three fish fillets with no blonde? We only have fish full bees. Fish for seas? Do you have those? Well, all fish are from the seas. All right, well, I would like as many french fries as you can carry and three fish for bees. As many as I can carry, sure thing.

I'll be right back. Oh, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey. Yeah, this is your husband speaking. Oh, no, it's the shark. I thought it was big, the lion. Oh. I love the lion in a shark outside your house cracking their knuckles. Pointy got a picture of your house standing outside of your house.

Like, this is the right house. Just in my mind's eye, picturing a shark with knuckles is just outstanding. Yeah, how do they crack their fins? Just put their fins cut close and then push. You got it. You got it. Well, while we figure out how a shark cracks his knuckles,

we're gonna take a little break and we will be back with, I gotta say, hopefully, more riddle. One riddle before break, we're gonna take a little break and we will be back with I gotta say Hopefully more riddle one riddle before break. We're gonna get some email. This is a new record one riddle in 30 minutes We did it. Sorry. Not a good record Hey, JPC Yeah Hey GPC. Yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm I'm pranking at all and I'm setting up a website to prank him. I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at spaces to all in one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and

to see it online whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website it gays with your audience and so anything for products to cut into time all in one place all on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here. Come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank GPC, and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my

website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production, and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Um, wait, what's going on with Adel? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just sending up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics, use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool.

I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website, the prank site. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. The website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. Yeah, what's the website for? Frank.

With Squarespace. Yes, Frank. Yes, Frank. Yes, Frank. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party Tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey, JPC, hey, JPC. What's up, Vattle?

I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com, slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back.

Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey Adel and JPC, thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here.

I am sort of at an impasse. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods isn't it funny to think about something like that like have there never truly is a middle. No this is the middle okay this is it. How can you help yeah actually so as per Robert Frost I don't know if you know his poems he has a poem called better help. I believe this is written in the 1800s but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try better help. Have you heard of this?

You seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices, and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you owl, owl. Sorry, that also does so fast.

Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Mm, and better help is entirely online. So it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years and it suits the way that my brain works, way better than traditional therapy ever did.

And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods. Isn't that fun enough to do? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge.

Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. H-E-L-P dot com slash riddle r-i-d-d l-e r-i-d-d l-e the middle of riddles of d but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the

the home i am home who are we i Who are we? What is this? What is this? I, clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday,

and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Bunny. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Mm-hmm. Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much,

especially around tax season. Kling, kling, kling, kling. Sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket Bunny, well quickly, and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel and rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Clink, clink, clink. It also categorizes your expenses. So you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off. Over three million, oh, clink, clink, clink. Over three million people have used rocket money,

saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rocket money here, don't we? Stop, clink, clink, clink. Stop, no, clink, clink, clink, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwirted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That going to rocket money dot com slash riddle that's rocket money dot com slash riddle rocket money dot com slash riddle and tell them

JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website. I love your rocket money. link. Wow, I can't believe how many riddles we did on the break. Woohoo, 17 million riddles down. Oh, man, yeah. Okay, well, that means that we can kind of coast to the rest of the episodes. Let's get back into cracking on these emails. This next one is for Risha, Risha.

Risha, Risha, R-I-S-H-A, I'm gonna say Risha, is how you pronounce that. First off, thanks so much for your podcast life and college are kind of unstable right now and having something nice to listen to is the one of those things keeping me sane. Well, Risha, you've done that in 2018, so I got bad news for you about the future. Yeah.

I'm hoping that you're not graduating college in this job market because it's 40% unemployment. Maybe we don't need to do this to them. This is what we mean when we say we're terrible to our listeners. Okay, so Risha says, when you need me, you throw me away. When you're done with me, you bring me back. What am I? A tissue.

Nope. Nope, no, no, no, no one listened to me. I'm serious. Do you want to listen to me? That is the only of the correct answer if you are Rudy Giuliani and you're just blowing your nose with that thing and then wiping it all of your face and mouth and then blowing your nose

and wiping it on your face. If you need me. When you need me, you throw me away. When you don't need me, you bring me back. Is that what you say? Actually, the answer might be Rudy Giuliani. Oh, is it a fishing rod or a little bait? Aaron, yes, fishing line.

So, Risha lists an answer and then says, or a fishing line, I guess. So, is the first answer an anchor? The first answer is an anchor, Adel. Aaron, you boat, wow, what a combo, one boat combo. I would like to see a scene, you two are father and son and you're going on like a boat fishing trip,

and you're both kind of trying to convince the other to pull the anchor out of the water, because you both have a suspicion that maybe you might not be strong enough, and you want to make the other person look worse. Wow, Dad, this has really been such a great day. Do you feel like you learned a little something about boating from your old pop? To be sure. Also we've got so many bluegill. Hmm, nature's oyster. I can't wait to get home and fry up those bluegill.

Well speaking of getting home champ, the sun's coming down so hey, you're a big strong man. Now why don't you go and hoist that anchor for us? Yeah, at 17's not a man. It's un-context it is. I barely know any dirty jokes. You should probably bring in the anchor and then we'll be off to home. Ha ha. Well, well, we shouldn't trust the old timer around that anchor, especially with how many of these cold ones I've slung back to age sluggier. So why don't you lift that anchor up for us and then you can drive and steer the boat back home, what do you say?

Wow, that sounds exciting, but I think it would make for a better TikTok if I recorded you with your sleeves rolled up since you have an anchor tattoo on your arm that says strongman. I think that would make it such a great video. Ha! Well, there's nothing I'd like more than to make that video with you, my boy. It's been such a special day, you and I out here on the water. But when you talked about my anchor tattoo, it made me think about my old Navy buddies, and now some of them are no longer with us, and now my hands won't stop shaking. So I'd be, I'd be a lost cause pulling that anchor up why don't you grab it kiddo I think that you'd be perfect for grabbing that anchor with your strong touch sub little body hey dad I know you've drank a bunch but every time you get drunk you talk about when you used to work at old Navy

and all your old Navy buddies I know you got a discount that was like 10% off performance lease, but I don't want to hear the 13% off But it was capped at $400 out of the way boys mom's gonna do it international But then say it's international She's struggling and she fell in the water Intersting She drowned. Oh, man. No, I didn't because it's international woman. Say her soul is floating up to heaven. I'm a lady alone on an all-man-polic podcast. Okay, this next riddle.

Oh, by the way, Addle oysters are the oysters of nature. Thank you so much. No, no, no, no. It's the blue gill. International oyster day is in the shade of the sea. That sounds like a red lobster jiggle for sure. What I lived in Ohio, there's right behind our house, there there was a creek or as some people in my neighborhood would say a creek and me and my friends would go down there and play like Ninja Turtles. I

don't know I can't possibly remember what that constituted but we would play Ninja Turtles and then at one point my friend caught a bluegill and he said hold it and I didn't I had never seen a bluegill before so I grabbed it and boy oh boy did I hurt my hand because blue gills are all spine. Oh, yeah They're razor sharp did you cut yourself? Oh, yeah, it like punctured my palm in like five places. It was awful. Oh no Give a scar. No Wow how old are you?

No. Ah. Wow. How old were you? I was probably 40. I was probably nine or 10. Oh, okay, nine or 10. Yeah, man. Scrapes and cuts, bruises and breaths.

I was on a walk that, like I said, the weather was really nice and there was a little girl. She must have been like three. Maybe she was tiny and her babysitter was out like talking on the phone and she was, you know how people have like trees in their yard and they have those like red, like three bricks in a circle to like, it closed the dirt for the tree.

Basically, she was just like walking on some stones but like three, you know, like maybe a foot into the air basically and she was walking on the stones going one, two, three, three four five and then she just fucking Bid it she just she hit five she she fell just clumped completely down got didn't cry at all like got up And it was like and the baby said it was like you're okay. She was like uh-huh and she got up It started doing the game. I was like that's that's cool like if at 32 if I'd like just slipped slightly I'd be like I'll be in bed. I'll be in bed eating shit

Like eating junk food the rest of the day because that's my it's over for me But that little girl I got right back up into it. It sounds like she was concussed Oh for sure she got back on she got back on this rock she was like blood flu One time I'm just having a memory. I one time in Chicago saw a little boy on a swing and I think he must have been there with his like older brother and he to impress his older brother did a jump off the swing and then wiped out so bad and landed like on the edge of this like bench thing and knocked the wind out of himself

and had scrapes on his hand and dirt up his whole body and tears just wailing in his eyes. You know when you're like, you're wearing so bad that you're good. And he was like, hey Michael, wait up. And I'm like, I'm like,

next time I get severely hurt, I'm gonna yell that. And I didn't stop laughing for a week. I came home to my roommate and I was like, Shayna, I saw the funniest thing ever. Hey Michael, wait up! Oh God. Outstanding. I remember my nephew who's like three now,

when he was learning to count, he could get, he knew how to count to four, but didn't know how to count past four for a brief period of time. And so when he would count toys, I got a video of him counting his toys and he goes one two three four four Four four four four and I was watching it with my dad and after the after this 30 second video He just says four like a ton of times my dad just urged me goes well the kid knows four He's gonna be a little golfer.

On the bright side. All right, so this is emails from Christie. Christie writes, hey guys, here's a few good riddles for the user submitted ones. Answers are at the bottom in case you'd like to at least guess at it before reading to the next line. So there are answers for all of these. And we're supposed to guess before you get to the next line.

Okay. Yeah, I'm just gonna say. Yeah, please. Popsicle. Ooh, yeah, I'm gonna say popsicle. God dammit, yes, popsicle. Yes. Okay, number one.

It kills scientists in seconds. Europeans take a little longer. Americans are unaffected. Religion. Organized religion. Americans are unaffected religion Organized religion It kills scientists in seconds Europeans take a little longer Americans are unaffected zombies It's not zombies. No kill scientists in seconds. Mm-hmm. So an S germs You get to the letter or something? It's not a letter.

It's not a disease. No, no, no. So, it's, hmm. I mean, I love this riddle, by the way. But it's something that scientists, Europeans, and Americans all see a little bit differently. Oh, the metric system. No, not the metric system. That's a really good guess.

Um, I think if you think along those lines, that might be very helpful for you. Aluminium. Aluminium. See, in England, instead of saying they have to go to the bathroom, they say they have to go to the aluminium. Which is a condominium made for pooping. I have to go to Al's Lou in his condominium. Welcome to Al's Luminium Home of the Wet Beef! If you live in England and you listen to us, we're really sorry. We only cause harm. You should

shed this off. Yeah, do yourself a favor. Pod me, can you can you direct me to your water closet? Of course, that's a closet that's flooding. You'll love it. Kill scientists in such a- It's just a bunch of wet fitted sheets. So the answer, this is gonna be tough one because you have to get what it's about and then you have to get the answer. So the answer is a very specific thing,

but you're close with metric system. So again, this is something that those three groups would maybe have a different measurement for. It's one thing, but scientists use something different. No, not pounds. Not kilometers. Not kilometers. That kilometers. Not kilometers. That's all the purposes. Ehr, Fahrenheit.

Fahrenheit. So yes, so Fahrenheit. Well, what people die at each thing. So it would be like 110 degrees or something. It's a specific number. It is a specific number. And it is, do you know what the third one, the one that scientists use is called?

They use something that I like to call. Hold on, I'm not fair. Not Celsius. I wanted to make a joke and then I forgot what it was. What's the scale that hot? Skolville. Skolville. They use the Skol a scale. If it's, eh, well, let's say it's, Kevin and Suzy is to blank and slewsy. Okay, so they use felcius. Seven. Karen Height. Kevin. Kevin, Kevin and Suzy is to blank and Saloozy.

Saloozy, slewsy. Okay, this is it real. and say, is to blank and salusi, salusi, salusi. Okay, this is it. Tell them. Didn't I say Kelvin? I think I, there might have been, we talked too much on Zoom at the same time. Speaking of, can I just, I'm so sorry, this, we can cut this out.

Can you two please give me feedback on my Kelvin and Hobbes comic strip? It's about a young scientist and a tiger and all their experiments. JBCD, what do you want? Yeah, I mean, I'd say it's derivative. I think it's just like family circus. It's so weird.

It's family, it's family selfie, you see what I mean? It's one panel cartoons. It's not, yeah, I don't know what you're going for, but it's derivative, of course. You guys remember rhymes with orange? What were some other newspaper cartoons? I remember the first page of that in the box. Hold on, I don't even remember the first one.

Rhymes with orange? Yeah, I think it was one of those one panel cartoon. It felt a little like far side-ish because it was different every week and it was like one joke. Where, Aaron, I think. Would you say it's different every week? Aren't all cartoons different?

No, I mean, it's not following the same family, it's not following the same characters, it, I think. Would you say different every week? Aren't all cartoons for every week? No, I mean, it's not following the same family, it's not following the same characters, it can be anything. Aaron, I think your dad drew a little picture on your napkins in the morning and told you it was a national comic. I think my dad drew a picture of my napkin.

I'm gonna go ahead and try it. But I would get a little sheet of computer paper and trace all my favorite comics every Sunday. Oh wow. Yeah, I loved doing that. And mostly like the funny ones. So, so like, instead of clipping them out and saving them, I was like,

I wanna save my copy of them. So you copied the funny ones. So you didn't copy Beetle Bailey or Kathy or Ziggy or Family Circus or Garfield. No, I think I copied a lot of those things. Uh-oh. I think I got me a lot of those things. Uh oh. I think I was, in terms of Sunday papers, I was always into Garfield and the financial section.

And yes. I was into Dilbert and to like business. Yeah. I was into Dilbert until I learned about the creator and then I'm like, well, never reading that comic again. So you were in Dilbert until two years ago? Yeah. Yeah. Yep. No, Scott Adams is one of our great Americans. Never read that comic. So you were in a Dilbert until two years ago.

Yep Scott Adams is one of our great Americans. Thank you for your service. You fucking made it I would like to see a scene you guys are Calvin and Hobbes, but you're Calvin and Hobbes, but you're in like your mid forties now Calvin, what do you What do you want to do today? You want to piss on another Ford? uh, Calvin, what do you, what do you want to do today? You want to piss on another Ford? Um, I was thinking about going down to the dump and see if we can uh, scroung us up another new cardboard box. The one that we're sleeping in is busted out all over. Speaking of dump, this red meat is running right through me. I don't know. I need to see a vet or something. Red meat, you piece of shit when you get red meat. I'm a tiger. I need okay. I found I Found some okay. I went behind a jewel osco. I found some expired

Ground beef and I scarfed it down hold on. Let me see these wrappers. These are slim gyms. This is that red meat This is barely meat. How many slim gyms did you have Hobbs? I want to say 20 or 30 20 or 30? 20 or 30 Lord almighty the vet bill for this is gonna be insane fine. I kissed your mom. I was drunk big deal She's been dead for 12 years Well see they're ten years ago International women's day International women's day So the answer to that rental was,

it's not include always choose in tripping, or I'd love to do it. 70 degrees, scientists would measure that 70 Kelvin, which is way hotter than 70 Celsius, and they're both still hotter than 70 degrees Fahrenheit. I love it, the difference is still hotter, good deal, good deal, but the 70 degrees Fahrenheit. The good ol'

bad ol' I'm voting for Kelvin as Miss Temperature because she's way hotter. Did you see her slumsuit? IEI. IEI. International women's day, Addle. Shut up.

And such as the Iraq and such as the temperature. What is 3-7th? I'm sorry. What is 3-7th's chicken? Two-thirds cat in half goat. Boy. What is 3 7's chicken?

2 3rds cat in half goat. This, I love this one too and it's very tricky. My instincts wanna say Julia Roberts? Can you list them again? Sorry, my brain can't comprehend them. Yes, 3 7's chicken. Yeah. Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on them. Yes, three sevenths chicken. Yeah. Hold on, hold on, hold on.

I'm gonna write these words down. Aaron's gonna write these words down. Three sevenths chicken. Mm-hmm. Two thirds cat and half goat. I wanna get this one. So no one, like, don't add all of you in your mouth. I have it, I know it.

Don't, don't tell me yet. Addle got it so quickly that he must have got a joke answer. So I will entertain, no, I have the real answer. You have the real answer. Adel got it. And here's chicken. How much of it is, Kat? Two thirds.

Here's what I'll say. Here's proof that I know the answer. And this is an outstanding riddle. The proof I know this answer is the three of us should all know this answer. Yes. Okay. There you go. And I've probably known this answer the longest.

JPC, I want to say probably has known it the second longest, and Aaron, you're probably the newest to this answer. Yes. Okay, all right. I can also- I wasn't listening, but I'm working. Don't tell me, don't tell me, don't tell me, don't tell me anything! Why are you letting me get out?

I'm gonna get out of here! It's international women's day. Confosive. I'm gonna get out of face! Yeah, it's international women's day. Compositions. I'm gonna show you my face! Okay, I'm trying to focus and I've been able to adequately block you out. Addle quickly. Holy shit, that fell right into our laps. You never seen that, that's something.

You know this scene in movies where like it's like World War II and the grenade lands in the bunker. And you know everybody like know, dives away and then it goes off and then the sound of the movie just goes, and it's just like that dull ringing. That's now what my ears are. Well, is it my fault? Yeah, no. Hey, Aaron, I don't blame, I don't blame my,

my, uh, comrade in the bunker. I blame the frickin' German who just tossed a grenade in here. Alright, Merry Christmas, let's sing Silent Night all together. Oh! Okay, I think it might be Chicago or go at it. So, yes, the answers go at it. The hint that I was going to use was, da da da da da da da da da da da da da But yes, the answer is Chicago.

Three sevenths of chicken, shy. Two thirds of cat, ca, and half of goat, go, shy, ca, go. That's great, we love to see that. That's a really good one. See, that is the type of thing. Every other riddle, I'm not trying to make, put this riddle on the spot or embarrass it, but every other riddle should take notes

and be just like this riddle, okay? I wanna see a scene. Christy says, by the way, keep doing what you do, Riddies and Puzzies peeps, and thank you for making me actively use my brain when listening to podcasts. Christy, if you're still listening to this podcast, just chime in.

How about you actively use your brain in the first 30 minutes? We still good? We still good, Kristi? She's gone. She's gone. I wanna see a scene. JPC and Aaron, you're two scientists, and you've been sort of tinkering with DNA, splicing,

and you've created a part chicken, part goat creature, and you're deciding based on the kind of outcome not being what you expected you're trying to figure out what to do with it. Hey dude. Yeah. You know how we got super drunk last night and broken to the lab and we were like, you know what would be funny and we kept saying yes to each other's ideas. Yes, I do.

I mean, we're still here so yes I do. Ah, my head. Okay. Meowgock. What's up, hold on. There's something behind me, and I'm not gonna show you what it is. Meow gok.

Is it, oh my god. We were in the gene splicing lab. Oh no. Yeah, dude, it's so much worse than you imagined. We were so drunk and we were trying to order delivery and if nothing was open, and I said, I could go for a turduckin. And you were like, no one's gonna deliver a turduckin.

And I said, I've had, I've ever looked at' and you were like, no one's gonna deliver a turduckin'. And I said, I've had, ever look at a goat and then just wanted to take a little bite. And he said, no. And I said, I'm not gonna do it. Wait, I thought we were saying yes to each other the whole night. Well, you said, I, you never knew you wanted to take a boat and I said, I'm adding it anyway. And you said, gas queen, that's how I honor you today,

on International Day. What are you telling me? I'm trying to tell you that I'm hungover and we made this. Meowgak told me. Okay, that looks delicious. I know, I know. I am so hungry. Goat sound, goat sound.

I wasn't going to tell you, but while you were in the gene lab, I was in the main chemistry lab and Remember how last night we were both so drunk We both wanted to take out and I said what I think I would love is barbecue sauce Honey mustard and ranch mixed into one sauce. What did you do? Well, I just bought I just bought bottles of those three things that I mixed them all together It that's not together. It tastes- That's not natural.

It tastes, no it's not natural. It's everything- No, not swanch. No swanch. Oh god, and look at the haircut we gave it. Yeah, so this is, I made this most wrench. It, it gave sentience. I, maybe the punson bird it was all too high.

I don't really know how that happened, but maybe if we get what did you call your creation? What was it saying that you what you name? What's your name? What did we call you Jeff? Jeff Melcock Melcock, we're gonna call you Melcock. I think giving animal human names is weird Melcock, maybe if you get into this Moose, you... Moosey... Moosey... That's right. Moose-Redge.

Wait a second. Did we hook up last night, too? Oh yeah. Yeah. That's what you get for waking up in Vegas! Did that not end this? Oh God, we have to live with these consequences. This ad has been paid by the Las Vegas Board of Tourism. What happens if Vegas stays in Vegas?

They got you paid. What were the three sauces that you combined? What are those three sauces? What are those barbecue sauces? Mustard, barbecue sauce, what was in it? And ranch. Mouse ranch. Okay, mustard fucks it.

Barbecue sauce and ranch would be delicious. Yeah. Well, barbecue sauce has mustard in it. That's how you make barbecue sauce. I know, but when you ranch, mustard and ranch aren't necessarily. I think that trio actually sounds great. And I think JPC, you should bottle that, sell it, and call it.

Do it like goober grape with a peanut butter and the jelly is in one jar, and it's just like mustard, or it has like three spigots on it, and it's like a try separated bottle. Oh, yeah, that's a tricky one. Well, well, it'd be on the scoval scale. How spicy is it gonna be?

It'll be a rory on the scoval scale. Oh, yeah. He is so funny. What do you, you put that on chicken? I wouldn't, because I've been a vegetarian for like 18 fucking years. No, but like, how are you selling it too No, but like how are you selling it to? What kind of restaurants are you selling it to?

Not what you'd put it on. You put it on your sugarless nonsense. I don't think I can sell it to restaurants as much as I can sell it to. Divorce dads just try it their best. That is the target demographic for like green ketchup, a goober grape, whatever saves. Prostables, whatever saves. Constables.

Whatever saves divorce dads a little bit of time. Okay, can we do one more riddle? Yes, please. All right, this one is from McGill. Yeah, McGill. Pronounced McGill. Oh, I'm saying that, right? This one's from McGill.

And also McGill signs this mysteriously, comma, McGill, which I McGill signs this mysteriously comma McGill, which I like the all the deliteration in there. Do you think that he did a little swish of his cape? Well, it says, I'd never, I never read the emails out loud because I don't want people to find the people that maintain some anonymity, but this email is from McGill at swishcape.com.

So maybe. Whoa. Myster from McGill at swishcape.com. So maybe, mysteriously, McGill, swishescape. Two bodies have eye, but both joined in one. The stiller, I stand, the faster I run. Oh, like a body of water, like a waterfall. Like Ben Stiller? Yeah, it stiller is capitalized, but I think it's more like Jerry Stiller. I have two bodies!

That was actually really good. I think that you could do an entire movie where you play Ben Stiller and Jerry Stiller. Oh, please. I think that you could do both and then it just like through the through movie magic It's I can only do billet Ben Stiller from mystery men because he's yelling the whole time And I can only do Jerry Stiller from anything because he's yelling the whole time. I can do I can do my combination

Billy Corgan Billy crewed up in Billy's aine. That sounds like a really weird movie, too. What do you what should I do? You should do Catherine Hahn. And the girlfriend from Monsters Inc. Exactly. Yes. And they're in love. Okay, I have to go click the click, click, click, click. She just jumped in that horse so fast.

Tap, tap, tap, tap. D-D-D-D. Come on, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click. Okay. So two bodies have eye. But both joined in one. The stillerized stand the faster I run So what runs a

River a river runs through it Phoenix has two bodies river you guys you guys a River river and and you're off with water water water ain't it Water ain't it. Two bodies have on. Politician. Polarity. What else has been?

What else runs? Yeah, it's like a letter to the alphabet. No, that's a good guess, but no, it's not a letter to the alphabet. It's not a politician, it's not a human, it's not like a person. This is a, it's not an idea either. This is a, this is, it's not an idea either. This is like a thing, a noun. So noun, two bodies have a... It's tangible, it's tangible.

Two bodies have I, but both joined in one. The stiller I stand, the faster I run. So you said it's a word, but it is something tangible? It's something tangible, yes. It's an, I'll say it's an object. Is the, is the riddle aiming us towards the word where it's like the letters that make up the word look a certain way or spell something like two?

No, no, it's not that. It's not like two bodies have eyes like the letter I or something. Exactly, it does not have anything to do with that. Mm. I want to see a scene. Well, I think about. Mm. I wanna see a scene. Well, I think about this, I wanna see a scene. JPC and Aaron, you share one body. You're one body with two heads,

and I just wanna see a very quick scene where the two of you are trying to order at a restaurant. Hmm, chicken pond. No, not in my stomach. Chicken pond. No, not in my stomach. And burn it. No, not in my stomach. Chicken parm. No, not in my stomach. And burn it. No, not in my stomach.

Crispy chicken parm. No, not in my stomach. Well, if you do that, then we're watching Enchanted again tonight. If I may, it is International Women's Day. So, ladyhead, what would you like? I said chicken palm. Excuse me. Where I'm sorry. I don't want chicken palm JPC. Neither do I. I can't name a bit of vegetarian for 18 years. The fact that character. That lady really wanted it.

I remember being in Nashville with JPC and some other friends and we were like, we gotta go to this hot chicken place. Yeah, this spicy chicken place, we gotta go, it's supposed to be the best. And like we get there and we're ordering and we're all so excited and then JPC's like, cool, I'll be across the fucking street. No, now I did, there was a taco place

right across the street and it was very good. So I was, I was very pleased with that. Well, that's great, everyone won. I honestly, I can eat at any Mexican, oh, I guess Mexican American food place. Yeah, yeah. In any town across this great United States, I can eat at any one of them.

I can always get a taco. Turns out, two bodies have eye. Boy, can we get into one? The stillerized and the fast drive run. Give me the sweet, sweet hint. So, yeah, so this is an object and it is So it's got it basically has two bodies and if you like broke it in the middle it would Hourglass in the middle of the street. Yes. The run over it. That's my only hourglass.

Thank you, McGill. The answer, of course, is an hourglass, the stillerized end, the faster I run. I have a question for our audience. Yes. OK, well, you can ask it. OK, can I ask it? Sure.

Do hourglasses stress you out? Because they stress me out. They stress me out the same way that board game timer stress you. Me out. Like, remember the Scategories timer? From like, especially the one from growing up where it would just be like, t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t Anyone else? Anyone else? I personally don't have that, but every time I watch an hourglass turn over,

I just sing dust in the wind to myself and it is a very calming experience. Do you close your eyes? Only for my moments and the moments gone. Like sand through an hourglass, these are the stressful days of our lives. Like sand through an hourglass. These are our plugs. Addle is there something that you have to plug? I recommend all you cock suckers watch deadwood.

It's very good. Upon rewatch I think. And I also am going to keep plugging it. Well, it's continuing to come out. Please check out Hey Tavern tavern, the hello from the magic tavern spin-off featuring myself JPC and Aaron It's on Citra premium if you use the code word magic to sign up you get a free month Free month free that's redundant, but check that out comes out every Thursday this By the time this errors there should be three or four episodes out and there's gonna be a total of seven so check it out Aaron anything to plug? I want to plug taking care of yourself. So if you haven't done anything nice for yourself, nope today. Do some guided meditations on YouTube.

If you can afford therapy, sign up for that. Just give yourself a little jaw rub, drink some water, give yourself a hug, tell yourself you're worthy of love. There's nothing you need to do to earn love So just take care of yourself. You are worthy of so much love Wow that makes my deadwood wreck seem like a real That's my water alarm. I'm sorry, that's so unprofessional. That just went off during the show.

I'm so sorry. I have to drink some water. For me, you can follow me on Twitch.tv slash SharkBarkman. If you listen to this, I'm already back streaming again. So my week break is over because we recorded this a week in advance. And two days ago, Aaron's episode of Billboards came out. So go listen to it.

Let's talk about the album, A Night by Fun. That's a fun album and a fun time. And that's all I have. That's all I have. You should listen to that I had the best time. It's such a good show. Aaron, I was honestly, I was just looking at this album. And I can't believe I've never noticed this before,

but there is a fucking bonus track on this that we have not heard before. And I thought it might be nice to play a little of it here on the show. Okay, so I'm putting in the CD, I'm shutting the lid, and I'm pressing play, and here is the song. Little bitter and honk honk honk honk Happy International Women's Day everybody go to Red Lobster you can eat for free maybe I don't know try though Honk forever I close my eyes, only for a moment in the moments gone. All my dreams pass before my eyes among curiosity. Dunston checks in. We all know that Dunston checks in, Dunston checks in. We all know that Dunston checks in.

This hotel has a fucking monkey working at the desk. A surfboard. I only know the movie from the jewel case. Dunston checks in. DVDs of Dunston checks in. Dunston checks in Dunstan checks in You can rent it on Amazon Fuck Jeff Bezos Hey there kitchens and sinks, if you like that you're gonna love this week's Patreon. It's the return part 2 of our kitchen upgrade trivia.

You can listen to that plus our entire Batcadilog by joining the clue crew for $5 or the review crew for $8 at patreon.com-haverittle-rittle. See you there!