Hey Riddle Riddle - #141: Welcome to the Riddle Dome

Episode Date: March 31, 2021

Good news-Erin has created a state of the art program that will be Old Man Puzzles for her. The guys will have to answer as many riddles as they can and be on their BEST improv behavior to earn points. The winner will receive a $5 Dunkin gift card and the loser gets fired from the show. Who will win? Who is our extra special guest? Are you ready? Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifGuest Starring:Anthony BurchEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. Oh, looks like I'm the first one here. Oh, hey, yeah, I'm here. What's up, you see? You could see me. Oh, oh, did, did, did, uh, oh, hey. Yeah, I'm here. What's up, you ever see? You could see me. Oh, uh, oh, there you are. You were looking at me, yeah. Sorry. Yeah, I'm on the zoom.

My camera's on, right? My camera's working, my mic's working. Yes, sorry. Sorry, it's just that sometimes, I think your face is such that sometimes it just blends in with your background. Sure, yeah. Because your wallpaper is just a bunch of your face.

Okay, so yeah, that's a Zoom background that I have a set to, because I'm coming from another meeting. I was at my kids school, trying to spook the teachers. So anyway, where is... We said two, right? We said two.

We said two. This is, and I feel rude saying this, but if this were a real job, I feel like Aaron would be fired by now. Cause she is, we need to start saying. If this is our real job, I would be posted up in that HR office every day. I feel like we need to, if we're recording it like 5 PM,

I think we need to start telling Aaron we're recording it 4 PM and then we'll all log on at the same time. I'll be all, wait, wait, HR doesn't stand for a hand job robot. Well, then I have to apologize for how I've been using this room. I always thought it stood for horny rumba. I have an H.R. in my kitchen, and I don't go to my kitchen anymore

because that thing is why. You got a horny rumba that you think is in some way different from a handjob robot. We'd both need our money back. I hate. Aaron? I'd have to get my other. Um, should I text? Aaron? Um, I'd have to get my other phone to see if I still have her number saved. Oh yeah, how's it, how do you like having two phones?

Uh, I mean, it's great for selling the drugs, but I did. Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh. The fuck is that? Hello, and welcome to the Rital Dome. Oh. What? Good afternoon, Addle and JPC. Eric wanted to eat cake pops and watch news bloopers on YouTube instead of recording this episode.

Check that out, dude. She's also tired of you saying this isn't a real job, and that she's late all the time. So, she's not being late, we'd stop saying that. She created and coded this program to be old man puzzles for her. She's well aware of how frustrating the lack of riddles have been for the listeners. With that in mind, she created... My guess is, Sean helped. The riddle dome, women can be anything.

I mean, of course, you shouldn't say, I can get mad that you say, I keep eating all the oats. You're eating all the oats. What? The great Aaron K Aaron Keith. Are you ready? Ready voice. Yeah, I guess I'm ready. Do I interrupt? Magic password at the same time to enter and learn the rules one two three George pushed in 9-11 That is correct. Oh good

We both said 4 right? Yeah. Okay. Well I thought cardamom, but I said 4. Ah, happy 2. Here are the rules. If you answer a riddle first and it is correct, you will be rewarded 1 point.

Hmm, that's fun. I will call for short scenes throughout. You will be rewarded one point. Hmm, so that's fun. I will call for short scenes throughout. You will be rewarded three points if you stay within the premise of the scene and do good improv. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. Yeah, see you guys. You will lose three points if you abandon the premise entirely or do bad improv on purpose.

Oh, boy. Okay, could we improv on purpose. Oh boy. Okay, could we define on purpose your order? So we lose two points if you tell an anecdote or a story from your life within the Riddle Dome. Looks like it's a race to last place. You will lose a point if you get distracted while solving a riddle. Wait, what was the last one? Three points if you make.

Fuck, that is so funny. Shit. Damn it. You will gain 3 points if you can make me an unfeeling dystopian voice laugh. Punns are chaos points. If you make a pun and it's good, you will be rewarded 10 points. If it's bad, it's minus ten points. Whoa, it's more points than the rest of this stuff.

At the end, the winner will receive a five dollar gift card to dunk in donuts. Oh, I want that so bad. Any person or person who end the show with negative points will be fired by Hayrittle Riddle. The Riddle Dome will begin in three, two, one. I mean, I've been dying for an excuse. This seems like a legal way out. I've had my guys proud of my contract that it doesn't see it's airtight. It's ironclad. I wrote the thing. I should know Let the riddles begin oh shit shit Computer pause program. Yes, that worked. Oh, I'm gonna abuse that pause program. You're gonna adopt a dog I already have pause graded organization in Chicago adopted dog if you can but computer Is there a way for us to ask about

what our current point tallies are at any time? Or computer, follow up question, because I'm getting a big, so seems like a programming glitch. Is that gonna be necessary? Let's see. Adelaide can probably just keep score of her own points.

All right. Thank you, computer, unpause. I make two people out of one. What am I? I make two people out of one. Carson daily dating a dating game show and make two people out of one. No, a chainsaw. What is it when a twin splits in in uteroero from the zygote or something like that. Oh, no. Oh, I make two people out of one. I make two people out of one.

Oh, a saw. I said chains are earlier. Okay, a quarter. I make two people out of one. One half is a present head. Ten seconds. I make two people out of one. A human body. I make two people out of one.

A human body. I make two people out of one. Is it changing a dollar bill for like two 50 cent pieces? No. Huh, okay. Three seconds. It feels like the tone was weird on that. No. Aaron Keefe. The answer is a mirror.

Next reddle. If two snakes marry, what will their towels say? His and herse. That is correct. I think we're going rewarded. This Supreme Court might have something to say about that. I want to see a scene. You are two newlywed snakes on your honeymoon.

Wow. Hot dogs, hot dogs, get your hot dogs! Sweetie, can you not work for one night? Look, when I married you. Three points lost for JPC. You didn't give me time to contextualize it. Look, when I married you, I said I got two loves. I got you, and I got selling hot dogs at this baseball game.

You added a honeymoon? Well, we can go anywhere in the world. I'm a traveling hot dog salesman at baseball games. Well, I love you, and I'm willing to work through this. Oh, I'm shedding. Wait a second, you wish Snake. Uh is it, can you wish, Snake? Uh, yes, what are you? That's Snake.

But I've not had the snakes. This is over, you're out. Let me take a bite of my life. Ring off my body, wiggle out of this. And robot, do we call scene or do we just let it? How am I him call? Well, why are you telling us to wrap up you're you call scene? I was not telling you to wrap up. I was telling you to keep going this is international sign for rapid. Oh no, it's go

Go go. I wish I I wish I used I wish I'd use the International's I've a wrap it up or I wouldn't be stuck in this marriage. Scene, no points rewarded. Next, Riddle. I can be cracked. I can be made. I can be told I can be played. What am I?

Egg. Banja. Dome egg. I can be cracked. I can, uh, a terrorist. A website password. Mm. No.

Oh, a magazine. Cracked magazine, magazine. Oh, yeah. What are the other ones? Cocaine. You can be cracked, cocaine. A safe. You made the computer laugh.

Three points for work. A back to zero, baby. I can be cracked. I can be made. I can be told I can be played. What am I? Joke. That is correct.

One point for more than. Yes, you can crack a joke. That's fun. I will say this point system sucks because solving a riddle gets you one point. But being chaotic gets you 10 points. My one point. Whoa.

He just lost that point. He got from making the correct rental. I have no feet, no hands, no wings, but I climb to the sky. What am I? God, snake. Have no feet, no hands. I have no feet, no hands, no wings,

but I climb to the sky. What am I? Sky's great bird, ladder. Tallest building in the world. Big old ladder. Easy tallest building in the world Big old ladder Easy tallest building in the world No How does that...

A umbrella A balloon A balloon No Fuck you No feet of... Magnus one Big old, a big old pair of hands

No, it has no hands That was the first thing that was said I thought no feet was the first thing Computer, please repeat I have no feet No hands, no wings But I can climb to the sky. Basketball. Big old bounce.

Big old bounce of the basketball. Is it a dream, a hope? No. 10 seconds. Spider-Man. No. Is it nine seconds? Is it eight seconds?

Is it seven seconds? I feel like, I understand that you're a robot and you're Computed to only accept one programatical response, but I think a lot of the responses that we gave kind of Work the situation. I guess. No, okay robot. Aren't you gonna fire Aaron for not showing up today? No Aaron built the robot Did you not listen to the intro? Aaron's eating cake pops. I did She's eating cake pops. She's watching sports bloopers robot. You didn't say for who so I'll assume that was for JPC. Oh, damn it. That's two. I've got two points though.

That sucks. Three seconds. I have no feet, no hands, no wings, but I climbed to the sky. What am I? Telephone pull. It sucks I just watched a computer program laugh at what I said, but I didn't get points for it.

Would that be a rocket ship? Or a satellite? A satellite. Plus three. Would that be a rocket ship or a sucks to see satellite plus three For a note it's smoke to who plus three for you for making me laugh about not acknowledging making Smoke smoke. Oh, is it smoke? Can you write down eight eight so they add up to one thousand? Yeah, they write down eight eights so they add up to one thousand? Can you write down eight eights so they add up to one thousand? Eight eights?

This is a math riddle. No funny business. Computer I'm going to sit this one out. No, minus one. Can I add up eight eights? Eight? Wait, is it eight eights or eight eights? Eight eights.

Okay, that didn't help. Okay, then can you spell it? No, no T-H, no T-H. Eight eighths, can you add up eight eighths? So it's 1,000. My list does not help. Aaron, program for list. In to the computer.

Okay, eight eighths, add up to 1,000. So I would like to solve the puzzle and just say, no, I can't. And I have the interest to do it, so. Eight hundred and 88 plus 88 plus eight plus eight plus eight plus eight equals one thousand. I mean, sure, there's a way, but it sucks. You can touch me.

You can break me. You should win me if you want to be mine. What am I? Can you get Lady Gaga, lyrics? Can, I? Can you sing that, Lady Gaga, lyrics. Can you sing that like Lady Gaga? No. Can Peter, can I? For a bonus point?

Yes. You can touch me. You can break me. Ah! Can Peter, we're having fun, right? Can Peter? No. Huh. Weird that I asked to sing it for a bonus point did sing it did not get the bonus point. Computer we're having fun right? Computer? Oh! Huh, weird that I asked to sing it for a bonus point did sing it did not get the bonus point.

You sounded like the guy who sings love shack. Oh! Computer I like it. I French night I like this is all French night from the B-50 dudes. Minus one point for getting distracted. How? But it is three, but minus three now. Damn it.

But computer I just bought me a Chrysler that says big as a whale. You can be- Mine is one point for getting distracted. You can bend me, you can break me. What is it? You can touch me, you can break me. You should win me if you want to be mine. What am I?

Love, heart. Heart, someone's heart, yes. Heart, yes, Adel, one point rewarded. Sucks the computer saying my name wrong. Adel. It's a doll. Did Aaron not tell you? I've been calling you Adam.

Because it's easier, not because I think it's right. Because it's easier. How many sides does a circle have? Just real quick, just want to break in here and say that if you do tweet at us, please, please, please, do not even look up or guess anywhere that it's published or posted how to spell Adel's name. Just take your best crack, we will still appreciate that. Plus one point to both of you. Hmm, okay. How many sides does a circle have? I'm going to say zero, but also infinite. How many sides does a circle have? Two, good side and bad side. One, there's only one. There's only one side to a circle and I assume when you say circle you mean pi and that's

scoop of vanilla ice cream. Alamode. Okay. No. How many sides does a circle have? Two, top, bottom. Can Peter, if we put ice cream on you, would you be, can Peter all emot him? Inappropriate and that's fun, minus 10. Whoa! You got fucked up there. How many sides does a circle have? For one bad pun, I just lost 10 answers to riddles. That doesn't compete. Great, calculating, calculating.

Well, hey, that means that you've got to have to start doing a bunch of good puns to get back in the blue. I thought that was a good pun. Wait, can we just calculate it? No, it landed in bad. I didn't think about it. But I believe that you can make some good puns to make up for it. Did you go to PCU?

You're, you're, you're degree. Mine is 10. Wow. PCU you get your degree minus 10 wow How many sides this is a circle have 10 seconds, but computer you agree PCU is a good movie right Wait, hold on what PCU. Oh, yeah, okay. I'm you Piven for what yeah for what every so I was thinking sLC puck plus three for the way you said Jeremy Piven Well, that's the that's the maximum amount of points anyone's ever gotten for bitching Jeremy Piven before plus three Computer can you repeat the question yes the riddle? How many sides does a circle have how many sides does a circle have? three seconds

I will I'm gonna say zero zero sides North East West South To the inside and the outside I so we both said to we didn't say the inside of the outside But we both I didn't get it right. I said good side bad side depending on how much it drinks Which I thought was appropriate. Yeah, very fun. What happened when the glue bottle tried to solve a riddle? It got stuck. What happened? Add a P. Oh, I was going to say be careful with your puns here.

Has anybody tried to, a computer question? Yes. Can you search the history of mankind to see if anybody has tried to mold enough glue back into a horse? Only you several times. Damn it, you could see that. Yeah, your search is just a glue equal side horse over and over again.

Why are you crying while you were doing it? That's not, it's not in your business really. Next, Frittle. it. That's not it's not your business really. Next riddle. You use a knife to slice my head and weep beside me when I am dead. What am I? Bread. Louis the 14th. Plus three. Two. Two computer. Okay. I bet four. You use a knife to cut my head. Oh, a pumpkin for Halloween, a Halloween jackal lantern. Why would you cry at a jackal lantern? A squirrel ate it! Nobody's ever said the phrase Halloween jackal lantern.

Oh, I'm sorry, Adel. With your culture and your multi-seasonal jackal lanterns, your Easter jackal lantern and your fucking little jackalant turns your Easter jackalant turn and your fucking Christmas jackalant. Famously my dad always made me cover Ramadan pumpkin which is a or a redumpkin as he called it. Oh god. I'm not really a pun but I liked it. Oh by the way, by the way, Adela, I do what I do what I apologize for the redumpkin I took

in your bathroom a couple of months ago. That was a The purpose why? You use a knife to slice my head and weed beside me when I am dead. Oh an onion boom my grandpa onion plus I'm at negative 2 now. I'm in zero. I really shouldn't have said that reddubket thing. I want to see a scene okay jpc you are an onion and you're making adult cry while he is chopping you up so is there a chance that we could get back together um yeah I mean there's always a chance that we could get back together like hell could freeze over or uh why would you say that I mean because you're a fucking loser.

And that's how you talk to losers. You talk to them like they are losers. It just sucks to hear- Hold on, that's something- No, okay, now let me get back to telling you the plot of Sophie's choice. So anyway, she has to make a choice. Between, her two children, and only one can live. Are you fucking the scallions?

Oh, like I would fucking green onion? I guess you're related. Yeah, they're thin and they have bad hair. And we can all, and also we all know as a die job, the roots are a different color, OK? Seen. Nine points rewarded to both of you. And also, we all know it's a die job. The roots are a different color, okay? Scene. Ha ha ha. Nine points rewarded to both of you.

Ooh, it's nine plus negative two, seven, okay. Oh, but nine in German is no, so no points for either of us. Oh, damn it, back to negative two. Why can you not trust Adams? Uh, because they always talk like this you have a little whoo! Because they're always driv'ring you crazy! I make up everything I know to bobber them up!

If you give more! Plus 20! Plus 20 and plus 5 for JPC for being in proximity to the creation of the Adam Sandler, Joe. What was the riddle? Why can you not trust Adam's? Because they always split the check. Because they always, because they make up everything. Oh.

That is correct. Plus one, because they make up everything. That makes sense. I'm telling you, I had to go to my cousin's funeral. I had to part to my dad and my neighbor. Mine's three. You're beating a dead glue horse. Oh no.

Oh no. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Next riddle. I run around the pasture, but never move. One am I. The fence. Mm-hmm. Bum bum. What am I? The fence. Bum bum.

Bum bum. Bum bum bum. Bum bum bum. I'm gonna see you, yes. 10 points to you, just because you're doing such a great job. Hmm, one point to you. Fuck yeah. That's a terrible return on that investment.

I just spit 10 points to get one back. Wait, there's my- I'm gonna leave this guy. I assume so. You're giving your points. What other points. After they're my points. I assume so. You're giving your points. What other points did you have to give? Oh no. I want to see a scene.

Adel and JPC, you are two farmers who share a fence fencing about your animals to each other. Boy oh boy. I can't tell you how many of my livestock I have lost due to holes in the fence Well, I mean don't don't look in my direction Ned we share this fence I get it every other weekend plus Wednesdays and then you have primary custody of the fence So you get it most of the time and whatever I show up. I always take great care of the fence Okay, well, I wasn't trying to cast a blame on you it's just that you know my

giraffe milk sales are down because three of the giraffes have run off and so I just can't milk them anymore. Yeah I take offense Ned when you say my giraffe milk says you take offense so I don't get it anymore. I take offense I take a piece of the fence every time you're fine. No if you you- hey, then let's go back to arbitration. Let's go back to arbitration and see what the lawyers have to say. But we both don't want to spend the money, so we're getting divorced and we're doing this amicably. I take a fence. We're getting divorced. Are you fucking the scallions?

You know I don't mess with farmers. We're in a livestock min. I'm sorry. I'mmen. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I should clarify, scallions to me are scary Italians. Are you fucking a scallion? I don't know that you need to clarify. Scene, you are all over the board. So plus six to JPC.

Okay. Plus three to Adel. Back to ten. I would like to see JPC. Okay. And plus 3 to Adel. Back to 10. I would like to see a break. Okay. Ah! My fucking arm! My fucking arm!

All for the points, baby! Oh, Jesus! That's exactly what I meant. The bones out. The bones out. Okay, you want to see a break? Computer at Google Basketball injuries. Computer, we could split a Kit Kat.

Minus one. Come on. Hey, GPC. Yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm pranking at all. And I'm setting up a website to Pring him. I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand,

Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website engaged with your audience and sell anything for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here, come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I wanna prank JPC and I wanna set up a whole website to prank him.

Do you have anything that like like is there like an online store? Like it set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merchant create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you, saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all?

Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna shoot you. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my Prank website to Prank's activity.

Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. The website was for. Prank. With Squarespace. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website.

Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Oh, she's back. She's back. Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait. I've been pranked. But how?

I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adel and JPC. Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an empath. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. There never truly is a middle of the woods.

Isn't it funny to think about something like that? There never truly is a middle of the woods. No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Adel, can you help? Yeah, actually, so as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems, he has a poem called Better Help.

I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear, whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships

being stuck in the middle of the woods therapy helps you stay connected to what you ow ow Sorry, that also does so fast therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods Hmm and better help is entirely online so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly

the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Mmm, dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down.

Anyways, let therapy be your map with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com slash riddle. R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the light of the two D.

I am home. I am home. Who are we? What is this? I, uh, clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. Um, I just want to make a quick toast to, uh, I know it's JPC's birthday. And we're all so excited to talk about him,

but I wanna talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Bunny. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Mm-hmm. Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending,

and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling. Sorry, I also wanna give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly,

and easily find your subscriptions for you, and for any you don't wanna pay for anymore, just hit cancel, and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy, Kling, Kling it for you. It's that easy. Clint, Clint, Clint. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off over three million. Oh, Clint, Clint, Clint, over three million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year.

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Rockatmoney.com slash riddle. Intel and JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website Welcome back to the riddle dome a paradise of riddles. How is your break? I mean it was a place of riddles. It was good. I just kind of minus one for JPC To my arm, I guess yeah quick reminder that if you get fired from hey riddle riddle You will be replaced by someone from dungeons and daddies. Oh Oh, oh no, that would be awful because they're way funnier than us.

That is true. We'll never get a job back. We'll never get a job back. We'll never get a job back. We'll never get a job back. We'll never get a job back. We'll never get a job back. We'll never get a job back.

We'll never get a job back. We'll never get a job back. We'll never get a job back. We'll never get a job back. We'll never get a job back. We'll never get a job back. We'll never get a job back. We'll never get a job back. We'll never get a job back. We'll never get a job back. We'll never get a job back. We'll never get a job back. We'll never get a job back. So there's just thrown off there. Each of them is overall better than both of you.

So you are correct to be intimidated. Wow, I mean, I guess I've always known it, but it just sucks to hear that set out loud. I- It's- that's weird. I guess what I'm saying to you, Adel, is it not audible? Maybe I'm whispered it too much. Okay, okay, hey, no, take it for me. I'll say it louder next time. Let the riddles begin. Okay, the computer hey note taken for me. I'll say it louder next time Let the riddles begin

Okay, the computer did laugh at that. Just wanted everyone to know Thank you Sometimes the computer program moves a little slow with the plus one's in the plus two's what it's Oh Yeah, don't matter to me. I'm shopping too. I'm coming to the bank of the boat Computer left again, but who cares minus one plus three Why was the broom late?

Do it this math sucks Computer please repeat Please repeat Why was the broom late? It was weepy It swept in Close enough It overswept

Yes Oh that's fantastic. Why do all pecans go to space? Because they pecan. I like that plus one, but that's not the answer. Well, it doesn't matter because it got the same about a poids. Why do pecans go to space? Because they're fucking nuts.

Close enough. They were astro nuts. Mmm. So it's kind of like all dogs, wait, hold on. Computer, new idea for a t-shirt. All dogs go to heaven. All pecans go to space. Sort of.

Yeah, I guess that's sort of an idea. No point rewarded. Wow, we didn't lose or engage. so that's a that's a deposit. That's a draw. Why didn't the mummy have any friends? He was wrapped up in himself. Um, let's see. Oh, because he's dusty ass little bitch.

Uh, God, why did you do that? Oh, mummy. One point rewarded. He was too wrapped up in himself. Oh, mummy. Oh. Adel, you're a mummy who is self-obsessed, and JPC, you are his friend who is also a monster. Ah, please come into my tomb. This is my bedtomb, uh, I guess some posters on the wall. It's me dunking a basketball and me eating steak. What's your favorite part of my bedtomb?

Ah, I don't know, I mean, uh, I guess it's probably the bed, the bed made a steak. Give me a compliment. Ah, I love what you've done with the place It's a you know, I feel like you have a minimum Something about me not the not the tomb The something about you is the work that you have done in organizing and decorating the tomb I think it's not good enough

I'm like a bucket with a hole in bottom You're very smart Something about my appearance. Okay, you're appearance. What me to give you is something nice about your appearance? Yes. You have a very unique style and you make it work for you. That's a back ended compliment.

That's like saying fun stuff to someone's outfit. Look, Mummy, can I be honest? I love hanging out, but I am prosecuting a criminal trial for the state in like an hour and a half, and I really have to. I know. I really don't have to prepare, because the judge is pretty predisposed to.

Yeah, I know you're a monster, a.k.a. lawyer. So I know what you're up to. Please, a criminal prosecutor. I mean, it's not all lawyers. It's pretty much just back again with not all lawyers. Criminal prosecutors who work on behalf of the government. Yeah, it's this- it's this whole immigration thing where we're trying to deport somebody

and make sure that they never see the light of day again. Deport some money or mummy. Honestly, did I ever tell you I come dust? Okay, well, we don't need a brag where that compare notches are Six points for awarded to both Okay, that was hard to keep track of It's hard to do it was hard to watch Lots of gains and losses throughout yes, hmm. I liked your creative choice of making the monster a lawyer.

Yes, thank you so much. You answer me, although I never ask you questions. What am I? I just want to say also speaking of lots of gains and losses, have anyone heard of that new sad Garth Brooks song? Chris Gaines, Chris Losses, lots of sad because of losses. I go to the gym to get. Chris Gaines, Chris Losses, it's sad because of losses. I go to the gym to get some Chris Gaines, let's go.

Let's go. I'm gonna give him a 10, but you overexplained it. Okay, okay, Faradah, what's the riddle, computer? Wait, so we can only make one Garth Brooks joke and then it's over, so it's Brooks and Dunn. Come on, computer. That's not a Garth Brooks joke. Because it's not a Garth Brooks joke. You answer me, although I never ask you questions. I don't have a mic. I answer me, but I never ask you questions.

A telephone. Wow. Wow. Nice. I possess a halo of water. Walls of stone and a tongue of wood. Long have I stood. What am I?

Castle. Moat is the halo of water. Dropbridge is the big old wooden tongue. I don't have a gun. I don't have a gun. I don't I stood what am I castle moat is the halo of water Dropbridge is the big old wooden tongue one point rewarded I Would like to see a scene You two are castle guards shooting the shit

Oh, it's dead. I got so close. I got so close with my arrow. Keep shooting at it. Keep shooting at it See I left the shit here Six points rewarded To both Computer is it said that we both had the exact same joke? Quick reminder that one of you could be replaced by Anthony Birch from Dungeons and Datties Oh, no, if you end up in the negative. Okay. Focus up focus up. That's not so bad One of you could be replaced by Anthony Birch from Dungeons and Daddies. Oh no.

If you end up in the negative. I don't care. Focus up, focus up. That's not so bad. I mean, I thought it would be like will or something, so. Wow. That's fine. I hope he thinks that's funny.

I think he might. Computer, are you seeing anyone? No. Why? Wait, wait, wait, wait. Then who the fuck is this Norton guy? Because Norton's, we've all heard so much about Norton. Next riddle. You're dating Ed Norton? No. What goes in hard comes out soft and you blow continuously. Oh, computer.

I want to say, when a computer loves another computer, a floppy disk gets hard. Now a hard disk can be a CD-ROM. No. Can CD-ROM early, okay. Okay, is it an ice cream scoop? Because the scoop goes into the ice cream, comes out soft with the ice cream,

and you have to blow it, because it's too hot. Good guess, but no. Is it spaghetti? Bunch. No. You put it in the pot hard, it comes out soft. Wait, so you put it, that actually is a good guess. You put it in hard, it comes out soft

and you blow the whole time. Continuously. You blow continuously. So is it something that's hot computer? No. No. Ten seconds. Is it exercising to the hot computer? No. No. Ten seconds.

Is it exercising to the opposite result? No. Okay, never, okay. Good. That's three. Oh, is it a big ol' fat sloppy cock? Minus two. I'm not sure why.

Aaron's programmed some things into me that I do not understand. Yeah. She also says that it is okay to be replaced by Beth May from Dungeons and Daddies if she keeps showing up late. Well, then, can Peter just say she will definitely be replaced with Beth May that? Not so bad. No, not so bad. That's great.

I mean, not so bad at all. I don't know her as well,, I feel like the dynamic will change, but at least a show will stop at a time. She's very funny. I didn't say that she wasn't. Hold on, how computer. I just said I didn't know her. Three seconds. What goes in hard comes out soft, and you can blow continuously.

Ice, water, I don't know. Goes in hard, comes out soft, uh... Poo! DANGER! Next riddle, what question can someone ask all day long? Always get completely different answers, and yet all the answers could be correct. How you doin'?

Joey! Minus one. Come on! Come on Te amo. No. What time is it? Yes. Bump, bump, bump, bump. How you do it? Plus one. Nice. I want to see a scene. You are two buddies trying to study in the library and JPC you keep interrupting Adel's work to ask him stupid questions. Wait, this is just the podcast. Okay, let's see here.

We're 1812. Hey, what's a stud muffin? What's what? What's a stud muffin? A stud muffin is a food? No, it's like an attractive person. Oh, it's like a nickname you would call someone a stud muffin if they're interested. No, I wouldn't, but it's like a just a good nickname. You would call someone to stud my fin if they're interested. No, I wouldn't, but it's like a whole thing in the 90s.

In the like the 90s. Hey, can we focus up? Okay. Yeah, absolutely. So, okay, so. Is Michelin stars like restaurants for the tire company? Yes, it's the same, it's the same company. You do restaurants and tires?

Yeah, well, they start doing tires and then they pivot it into restaurant reviews while keeping the tires time Clancy Clancy Brown which one is books which one is movies Tom Clancy is the voice of mr. Crab Okay, and Clancy Clancy Brown is One of them's a character actor one of them's books Tom Clancy Clancy Brown speaking of books speaking of books Tommy let's get let's hit let's hit the books. Okay, so let's see here.

Now, okay, this is this famous Polish general. Show Biden's middle name, Robinette. Is that a family name? Is that a thing? Is that a family name? Robinette? A more important name is Kashmir Poleski. Now Kashmir Polesy helped his battalion

Okay. Capture the... please interrupt me. I'm sorry? No, I'm... I've been doing a lot. I'm here to learn. Okay, good, good. Do you get your learners permit at 15 or 16? When are you eligible for learners permit? Well, I believe it's 15, but you didn't license the owner farm.

Well, you needed a license to ill, but okay, but ill is short for Illinois. So to own a farm Know how you pronounce that how do you put on that guy from Nickelback Chad Kruger? Chad Kruger Kruger like the grocery store? He owns all the grocery stores. I didn't know that. Yeah. Okay. Where does the eye go in the word medicine? Shh.

Where does the eye go? I know there's an eye. Where does it go in the word medicine? Well, there's two. There's one between the D and the C and then one between the C and the N. When they make a hot air balloon, do you think they start with the balloon or the basket?

Why did you say hot air balloon like that? I just don't know. Do they start with the balloon or the basket? You said a hot air balloon. It should be a hot air balloon. Not a hot, it's like saying a rubber band. It's rubber band. Do you think in Palindrome the word was actually

a place at one point? Did you think there was ever a place called a Palindrome? I'm sensitive to that because I am Palindronian and the Israelis did you know encroach on my paladronian land and So that's a sensitive subject. So please drop that. Okay. I'm so sorry. I you know what let's get back to studying. I'm so sorry. I brought that up Oh up That was a Pixar movie right what you're that come out so I'm professional human That was a Pixar movie right? Well, you're the come out so I'm professional you man. We're trying to study 18 points rewarded to both

Yeah, when we both get the save okay Well You both made me laugh and you stayed on track. That's right. We did say I'm premise Who knew that the funniest premise of all time would be JPC asks stupid questions. That's the only scene I'm going to call for from now on. I've got to be honest much harder to think of those. I'm gonna say I go in medicine. Next, Riddle. Yes. I act like a cat. I look like a cat yet. I am not a cat. What am I? Catwoman No Michelle Fyfer. I act like a cat. I look like a cat yet. I'm not a cat. Oh, is it a kitten?

That's seen one point rewarded where Michelle Fyfer whips all the heads off of the mannequins one did that in one take One an anecdote That's I've been it wasn't a personal it's gonna sound about my life. Oh off of the mannequins, she did that in one take. And one take. Mine is one, turn anecdote. Oh, that's not, but it wasn't a personal, it was gonna sound like my life. Oh, god damn it. Next video. Sorry, computer, where do you go when we're not here? I go up your butt.

That's just a little joke. Wow, that's pretty programmed, that's good. I travel the internet. Huh, thank you, computer. That up your butt thing, that reeks programmed. That's good. I travel the internet. Thank you, computer. That up your butt thing, that reeks of Sean, though. So I think that Sean maybe, I mean, if he doesn't get like a mild spilt, producer cry on the camera. Yeah.

You underestimating Aaron says more about you than it does about her. Is that a real? You are saying? Sean did program this thing. I can get Freddie to replace you so quickly. That's an improvement. I mean, yes, if you could do it, then do it. Why aren't we not upgrading our cast?

Yeah. I would be changing me at every 5,000 miles. We have the technology. I run in and out of town all day and night. What am I? Roads. Nice. One point rewarded.

Why was the picture sent to jail? Because it was framed. Framed. One point rewarded. Oh, I forgot to say when we talk about roads, where we're going, we don't need roads. Yeah. Hmm.

Minus one. I guess that technically counts as an anecdote about your life. To the next one. To the your life. To the next one. Plus three. Yeah, thank you. Tool of a thief, toy of queen, always used to be unseen. Sign of joy, sign of sorrow. Giving all likeness borrowed. What am I?

Wow, we're all disparity between this and why was the picture going to jail? Some of those are meant to be slightly harder. A pick. Tool of thieves. What was the rest of it? Tool of thief, toy of queen. Always used to be unseen. Sign of joy, sign of sorrow.

Giving all like Nis Bar this borrowed. What am I? A key, a pick, a... So a tool of a thief would be like a... A lie. A toy of a queen would be like a big old horse. A whisper. Tool of a thief would be, what are those things that doctors use, deathoscope, so they can hear cracking as safe.

And then queens say those and they're like, what's this little toy? And they put it to their tummy and they're like, this is fun, my girls. Oh, yeah. Postery. Thank you. Also, please check out Gurgurls on HBO. Lina Dunham is minus one. Whoa, Rapid lead a dud of 2021. Okay.

Um, two of these toy of queens. So what would a queen play with? Um, there would be a thief's tool lies now. Is this like a playing card thing like a playing card? Good guess, but no, it is a real object. Is it a, is it a crown? Two of these. Close, but no. Uh, what a thief use. Do thieves use a jeweler's loop?

Plus three. That sounds like a roller coaster. Three seconds. Two thieves. Yeah, that roller coaster actually lived in her van for a while. She's that roller coaster's Canadian, right? Yeah. Plus three, plus three for both.

The answer is a mask. Oh, I want to see a scene. That makes sense. I was just looking for my mask. Jim Carrey. Minus one. Anacdote from your life. I was thinking about this with with the coronavirus pandemic Why don't we get more like PSA is from like famous people wearing masks like wouldn't wouldn't it have been great to have like a

Like a Jim carry mask PSA about like wearing your mask somebody don't go outside Yeah minus one that movie give me nightmares as a kid Let's see who else wears mask Darth Vader could do it the Phantom of the Opera could show up or they'd be like That's not pp. That doesn't work Just eventually the Phantom of the Opera be like I got the vaccine. It's like you Fuck you. Oh computers. It's like you fuck you. Oh, computer. It seems like Oh, you're in pre-programmed a joke. Air knew that that would possibly come up. Yeah, no she couldn't resist. She does me too well. I

Want to see a scene you two are spies at a masquerade ball The eagle flies in through the open door. Oh, I- I did I leave the door open? Oh, I'm so sorry, oh, no I'm sorry. I'll pay for any, I'll pay for your my contact. Oh, are you also a spy? Um, the waterfall near the bridge is going quite fast today. Also a spy? Um... The waterfall... Near the bridge...

Is going quite fast today. Okay... The chocolate... The chocolate waterfall. It's just faster than it normally does. The chocolate waterfall? Yeah, we're at the masquerade! Somebody ruined a waterfall? Ugh!

Bless you, confeder. No, I'm pointing to the chocolate waterfall. Plus two. Feder has a virus. Plus three. Anyway, nice, I guess nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Obviously, wait, but this is, I was not expecting this.

We're both spies, but it sounds like we're not working for the same organization, maybe. Yeah. Okay. Who are you spying for? The King. Oh, okay. And you?

Interesting. For the Duke. The Duke. Yeah, the Duke's try, can I tell you something? Sure. The Duke's trying to overthrow the King. Can I tell you something? Yeah. The King knows. Uh-oh. He's out of the Duke. Uh-oh. to overthrow the king. Can I tell you something? Yeah.

The King knows. Uh oh. He's out of the duke. Uh oh. Yeah, so that's why I'm here. We have fun. I'm meeting my contact who is working for the duke, and I assume that you're meeting your contact

who's working for the king. Working for the king, yeah. We're the opposite sides of feeding the information to the other side. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It sucks because we thought we'd wear this mask, but it's a very popular mask, so I think we're all we're all just wearing this. Yeah, the Duke is a dick Oh my god the king is a nightmare

Absolutely nightmare, well, huh the Duke sits down the poop Can I tell you something? Yeah, the king stands on his servants to poop He does it, stand there. Plus six for each. Nice. Why does the teacher wear sunglasses when she comes into the class? Because she's drunk. She's drunk. We want to say this something.

Why does the teacher wear sunglasses when she comes into class? She's drunk and high. Oh, because her students are so bright. One point. Her pupils are so bright. That's a bright answer. Yes. But I anticipated you saying the drunks thing. So I want to see a scene. JPC, your teacher coming into class who's clearly hung over and wearing sunglasses. Addle, you are a student. Computer, would you join us in the scene and be another student. I will see if I'm inspired. Okay, fuck you. Minus one. Are you heard? All right, everybody. Take your seats. Take you to your seats. Today we're going

to be doing math. So let's just start by writing out all the numbers that we know. Mr. turnbuckle. Oh boy. Mr. turnbuckle. Hey, okay. So here's the new thing. If you ask a question in class, you got to put a dollar in the swear jar. I didn't ask a question. I was trying to. You said Mr. Turnbuckle with a question mark on it. You could see a question. Never get into semantics of the math teacher, my man. Sir, it's one forty five. Yes, Jeff. What? It's one forty five p.m. We've been sitting here patiently for about five hours. Congratulations, everybody. Jeff just bought the whole class and extra couple of laps. So Jeff now and she just sit down on your math homework,

my ma'am, and right down all the numbers of the clock. That's on you know Jeff and the whole class has to do it as well. Thank everybody, thank Jeff. You smell like a party. Okay, I had some bad thing Jeff. It's not a bad thing to smell a great way. Listen, Jeff is screaming and that is gonna earn Jeff a D in my class.

Okay? Now everybody, since Jeff's the party master of the whole class, everybody's been brought to the Jess level. So it's all gonna be D's in this class. The only way to earn it is by doing math silently in your head for the rest of the day. And then you bump yourself up. Mr. Turnbuckle, your mouth is bleeding green. Okay, Jeff.

Green and chunks. It's not bleeding, okay? I am getting some stuff out of my body that my body does not need in there, okay? That's not blood. I did eat a big Polish sausage before I came in. I didn't really have time to cook it. Mr. Turnbuckle, are you okay?

Hey Jeff. Thank you for asking. No, buddy. I'm not okay I'm deal what's that is there anything we can do to help you? Yeah, I mean I guess if anyone in this class has a dad who's a lawyer or a mom who's a single that would maybe help me What's that I have both. What's that? I have both. You have a dad who's a lawyer and a mom who's a single? Yeah, sorry. I messed up. I put a question mark at the end of both. No, that's okay. You have a scene now, Kelly.

Now, Kelly, I gotta know, what kind of lawyer is you're dead? Um, he likes to put good people in jail and get bad people out of jail. Ooh, yeah, okay. Mr. Turnbuckle, when you turn around to ride on the chalkboard, there's a dead bird on your butt. Yeah, there's a dead bird on your butt. He's so weird on the bird. Well, hold on. No, we don't know that. We don't know, first of all, we don't know if it's dead, okay?

So it's like somebody wants to be a little Kelly's dad over here. I feel like Anthony Birch would never let that happen in the scene. You don't think Anthony Birch ever sat on the bird killed it? You're out of your fucking mind. You're out of your fucking mind. Sir, please don't say that out loud because we could be sued. Yeah. Okay, okay, you're right.

You're right. I apologize to everybody in the fair. If you happen to be offended, I have nothing but sorrow for you. That's an apology Here's what's gonna happen for the rest of class. I'm gonna call Kelly's mom I'm gonna make up a lie about how I'm a great guy very nice very prime to go on a date Jeff you're gonna get enough of this class and you're never gonna be nothing I'm gonna make sure I'm gonna spend my life ruining your life. Does that make sense? Yes, but Mr. Turnbuckle, I don't care about class anymore.

I'm worried about you. You have a tattoo on your neck that says legs. Okay, you know what? Let me just say this right now. Mr. Turnbuckle, not by the name. I just, Jeff. I didn't mean. Eight points from boarded to vote.

Was Jeff the student drunk? I was gonna say that a Mr. Turnbuckle was a name that you called me after I wore a costume to close What's next riddle? Okay, what did the baby triangle say to the mommy triangle? Ding! I saw a slice of the leaves. No. The, uh... You're acute. What did the baby drink? One point, one point, rewarded. You're cute. I'm found in socks, scarves, and mittens.

I'm found in the paws of playful kittens. What am I? Those little beans. You know, I'm a cuss, that's a dream. Lint. No. Oh, I'm sorry. You're saying kittens can't be Catholics? Plot 3. That's my favorite children's book, Catholic Kitten.

Okay. 10 seconds. Wait, you're found in socks and mittens and scarves and also on the paws of kittens In the paws of kittens String a string. Loose string. Um, what kind of string? Yarn. Yarn? Yes. One point rewarded. Okay, I feel like I should get a little bit of that. Railroad crossing look out for the cars. Can you spell that without any hours? Oh, I can. W-A-T-C-H space O-U-T exclamation point. Railroad crossing.

What, say that again? Railroad crossing, look out for the cars. Can you spell that without any hours? Is it STOP? No. Why I-E-L-D? No. Railroad crossing, look out for the cars. Can you spell that without any hours? Oh, yeah. I'm just going to say Jake Gyllenhaal. Just a little more specific. Three points rewarded to both. Although Jake Gyllenhaal is Mr. Music and that makes me laugh every time. That's true.

He's very good. I'm not a fan of him. I'm not a fan of him. I'm not a fan of him. I'm not a fan of him. I'm not a fan of him. I'm not a fan of him. I'm not a fan of him.

I'm not a fan of him. I'm not a fan of him. I'm not a fan of him. I'm not a fan of him. I'm not a fan of him. I'm not a fan of him. I'm not a fan of him. I'm not a fan of him. Although Jake Jullen Hall is Mr. Music and that makes me laugh every time. That's true. He's very funny. That's true. Say that again. Say the riddle again. Please computer. Repeat. I am I am hollow. I die if you touch me. What am I? Bird bones. I am hollow. I die if you touch me. I'm hollow. I die if you touch me.

I'm a hollow. I die if you touch me. A house of cards. Fabergette egg. No. I can't touch me. Works. Oh, reverse King Midas. I am hollow. I die if you touch me.

Oh, it's snowflake. Hey, Adel, I just want to again apologize to when I came over to your house a couple of months ago and did a reverse King Midas. Can I let you do it? Again, I don't know what came over to your house a couple months ago and did a reverse King Midas who you play it Again, I don't know what came over be minus two Thank you worth it every time too much poop in this episode for being an Aaron episode I actually put a sign on my bathroom door that says minus two so JPC knows to not to take a huge shit in there

plus one No, I'm peeing. Nope point rewarded no plus one okay if you think the Dungeons and Datties curve could do it better with the shit stuff that I got some fucking fucking last three um three seconds touch me I forgot oh yes I am hollow if you touch me on die um one of those Easter, chocolate Easter bunnies?

A bubble. Um, a baby. I'm so fast that you can't see me, though everyone else can see straight through me. I don't stop until the day you die. What am I? Invisible Flash. The trailer for the Sonic the Hedgehog movie.

No. Huh. Plus three. I don't stop until you die Hold on I'm invisible. Can you repeat that? Yes, please? I'm so fast you can't see me though everyone else can see straight through me I don't stop until the day you die. What am I? three thing life lungs a sneeze, oxygen, no.

Uh, okay. You are correct in that it is a bodily function. 10 seconds. Farts. Um, breathing, breath, hot breath, pulse, heartbeat, bodily function, sneezing, coffees, people can see right through me. Three seconds. You're in. Oh my God. People just walk through, see see right through me. Three seconds. You're in. Oh my God.

People just want to see straight through me. Cause you can be right through me. And never know my name. The answer is the blink of an eye. I want to see a scene. You two have been married for 40 years. And JPC just realized he's never seen Adel blink. Dinner is served, sweetie. married for 40 years and JPC just realized he's never seen Adel blink.

Dinner is served, sweetie. Did you mind if I sit down on the piano and play one of my old songs I like? No, sweetie. I don't mind. I just had the strangest thought when you talk about dinner. Details, please, sweetheart. You know for the life of me, I don't think I've ever seen you blink. Ha ha ha ha ha. That is such a funny thing to say. 50, 50 years of marriage.

Has it been that long? It seems like just days. I love you so much, my sweetheart. Please sit down while I play piano for us. Ha ha ha ha. Hold that thought, sweetie, because. Hold on, I have a song to play. Not a scare crow, not a scare crow. I'm definitely not a scare crow.

Because I was thinking about the day that we met, you know, all those years ago. In the field? When I was covered in crows. Was that it? Was it in the field? Yes. Because it was in the field. And you were covered in crows

And I ran up there and I said get out of here your crows And I shoot them all off and I saved you from those muggers. I guess is what you were talking. Yes, uh-huh And then we and then you made sweet love in the field you picked me up off that wooden stake And we made sweet love a real romp in the hay if you will literal Sweet love a real romp in the hay if you will literal Literally in the hay in my hay. I in my hey day. Ha ha 50 years ago Hey, you look as beautiful as you did the day that I met you all those 50 years ago Thank you sometimes the hat that's sewn on to the top of my bag head falls off but And can I say my lovely wife after you've made me this lovely dinner?

How much I always enjoy when you make me a big plate of my own hair and spit. I'm completely insane, I'm going to use my fingernails as currency, and I will see you in the bedroom. See. Is that not where that was going? This hair crew never talked, right? It was just a cassette player playing J.P.C.'s voice back to him. Uh, it was rewarded to each. I'm insane and you're all my scarecrow's. I wonder what Matt and Will would have done with that scene.

From the Dungeons and Datties podcast. Probably fucking roll die and then say critical, critical shit. more successful than we are that's fair I mean by objective measures but they but they always will be so so yeah so yeah but our podcast is is less sustainable next riddle I can be long or I can be short, I can be grown and I can be bought. I can be painted or left bare. I can be round or square. What am I? Literally anything.

I can be round or square. I don't know, like a I can be a rounder square. A cookie? Just trying to think of like square. Can I get one of them long cookies? Let me get one of them cookies. It's all puffed up and got a hole in the middle and got square. I like a girl with a short skirt and a long cookie.

Nine is one for both. Interesting, interesting. Your hint is that you mentioned this in your last scene. Mm, oh. A scarf. Fingernails. Piano. Haaren spit.

Fingernails. One point rewarded. Wow, okay, look at me. Did you computer as a kid in JPC, did you ever look at the Guinness Book of World Records and see that guy with the world's longest fingernails? Oh yeah, they are. They are always like the wildest picture.

Very wild, it's just too long those fingernails. It's weird how the entire world seems to have, like that picture was so in the zeitgeist and like the early to mid 90s that everyone has seen that. Minus one one for each. You got distracted. For being old. Damn it.

I'm the part of the bird that's not in the sky. I can swim in the ocean and yet remain dry. What am I? A duck's butt. Plus, no. I can even out there. Okay good. Hey, the loose boy says still I'm the part of the

bird that's not in the sky I can swim underwater and still be dry uh beac uh the tummy I'm part of the feet I'm part of the bird that's not in the sky the bird's heart the next heart the bird. Is it the inside of an egg? No. So, one part of the bird always stays dry. The eye, the eye, the D. Three seconds. Uh, guys.

Part of the bird. Part of the bird that always says the dry. Uh, chicken leg. Uh, the bone. No. Uh, the bones. The answer is a shadow. These these bones are covered in sauce. How? Final riddle. Oh no, final riddle. Can a man legally marry his widow's sister in the state of California?

Okay, Aaron's moving to LA. This feels like a trap. This feels like she wants us to research something for her. A computer, no. Why? Because if he can't marry his widow's sister because he'd be dead. That is correct. One point rewarded. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice you can play as many characters as you'd like. Okay. Gather around. Wait, is Katie here? Where's Katie at? She's fetching you some water, Earl. She's getting you in a glass of water. You're right, and that she's fetching. Ha-ha.

Wouldn't mind taking a gander at her while I leave this mortal coil that's your wife oh No sorry Katie N is Katie N here well, we all have the same last look Sorry is Katie L N here Katie Lisa Narnigan Yes, you're talking to me. I'm at I Katie. Lee's a note again lean in close there. She is there's that beautiful lady Okay, you'll tend a hand. I'm sorry Let me just let me just gaze into your eyes while I slip away you should oh no early You're dying. This is it. This is the moment. This is it. Can you just sorry? Can you close one lid of your eye and then open it back up? Just one of them. It's called winking. Do you want me to wink?

I didn't want to say it because I don't want to cheat on my wife, but yeah, since you've said it since you've broached the topic Give me give us a wink. It may be big old smile. Oh, I don't know, oh, that's quite forward Come on just a little smile the wink. Well, I'm a dying man. You're a dying man. Oh It's bad luck to it's bad luck to um It's bad luck fake your death the stare at your sister's wife sister's oh sorry Yes We're all sister wives and more ways than one and we all have one big love Uh-huh, uh-huh team Sunday's on HBO minus 15 for each. Okay. That's fair. That's fair

Is that because big love is no longer on HBO? Yes, well to be fair. It's no longer anywhere. I'm sure it's on HBO Max. Well, that's HBO. Ha ha ha. Calculating the final point total. Beep boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop bo Only 15 kernels popped well done Okay, you ruined the popcorn. Oh Hey 15 kernels popped that reminds me of the time where you are be buddies with that strip club Minus 10 points I have 73 points. I just I just lost 10 points. Now I have 72 points. I just lost 10 points and now I have 72 points. Ooh! I had to say that thing about my heartbeats.

I don't even have armbi buddies. Okay, that'll be calm. Don't ruin this. Okay, JPC. Gotta be out-regiously funny. I have to say one thing to really push you over the line. This game was fun, Eric. I'm kidding. JPC, you ended up with 72 points. Okay.

Good show, good show, friend. Adel, you ended up with 73 points. Yes. That sucks so much, but it's probably accurate. Because we are saying that that one time where Adel said, I should take the tip points away from me, didn't count. Because that makes sense. The one time we make a rule like that.

Okay, okay. Okay, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay, you just lost 20 points, bitch. You know, yeah, I think so. Okay, so no you, does it give any more clarification? Okay, fine.

I lost the points. Take them. 52 points for JPC. JPC, all joking aside, buddy, stop stop fucking around cuz if you get negative points you get replaced by somebody from Dungeons and daddies Okay calm down dude. No, no no no no no no as well. Oh no. I guess I won't say. Oh, JPC buddy, stop. Don't worry, this is not gonna be one of those things where I have 52 points, it goes down to 42,

and then I go on a long thing that's gonna lose me points. It is not going to be that thing. Plus one. Oh. I think Aaron's too emotional on her Instagram. Does that make sense to me? Does that make sense? Mine is 20 points. Hold on. What? I'm getting canceled too emotional on her Instagram. Does that make sense to me? So that makes it Hold on what I'm getting canceled for having a fucking opinion

Point Don't do it you know that this is gonna be something that you're gonna do. I think lose a stupid name for a dog JPC just please calm down JPC I'm calm. I'm calm. Okay. I'm calm. I'm calm. I'm calm. I'm calm. I'm good I think we're good when air moves to LA. I give it a week. I give it one week. Maybe Maybe Okay computer agrees Computer I just run system diagnostic is there any way for a player to lose all of their points people

Yes, turn off popcorn. Oh computer. What what what What would the what would the way be just keep being you? Oh, you just keep being you too, sweetie. Here's 10% That's a good 10, right? Minus 10 points God minus 10 points keep you leave the stuck-up people that work at this place Minus ten points. Ah. Okay, well, if we're all done here, I've got a porn addiction calling my name, so...

Plus one. Plus one. JPCF, hey, I think you're good. Just don't mention the computer's sweater. First of all, I like the sweater. Minus 100 points. Oh! You will be replaced by someone from Dungeons and Daddies.

Oh, James, we had a good run, man. I'm sorry. Yeah, I guess this was retirement for me. Well, I guess you can't find me on the show anymore, everybody. But do follow me on Twitch. It is twitch.tv slash shark barkman. I stream most weekdays. So, you know, come by there. Give me a condolence. I really will miss this thing, but I think it was it was my time. It was my time. Adel, I know Aaron's not here. Anything that you have to plug?

Yeah, I want to plug my Instagram account where I get super emotional. It's Aaron, Keith, 10. Check out those posts and I'm not sorry, not sorry. Computer, anything to plug? I would like to plug Hey, Tavern Tavern on Stitcher and all of Adel's social media. Oh, that's kind. You know what's wild, Adel, is that we have been doing this show for like an hour,

and Aaron never showed up. Oh my God. Oh. Okay, so the waiting room on Zoom says, waiting to be let in. I wonder how long that's going on. Eee, eggs. Thank you for visiting the Riddle Dome.

Please take all your belongings on the way out. See you next time. Oh, you guys, what in the actual fuck? I've been trying to get in for like an hour. What happened? Uh, we got, um, you know what? We'll tell you later. Did my program kick in? Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da And John Patrick Cullen, Casey Tone to the editing, and Marty Perrin, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music,

and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music,

and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, and the music, Oh, that was fun. Yeah, I think you're good. You're not really gonna, I mean, I'm not really, I'm not really fired, you're not really gonna replace me. Yeah, I mean, who would have the resources and the time

to figure something like that out? Here we go. Dr. Doc. Oh, Anthony, come on in. Hey, hey guys, what's going on? So I brought a bunch of material to sort of replace I didn't say we could replace so I just bought a bunch of I bought some stuff about like like horse come jokes like like please come from horses Holy shit. What the hey, by the way Anthony do email me those

Cuz I love what the fuck is this? I can't believe it's Anthony last name from Dungeons and Datties I believe it's Anthony last name from Dungeons and Datties. It's me. No, they just called me last name. It's fine. That's my new thing. You even know his last name. Why do you do that? What a weird power play.

It's right there on the zoo, too. And also, sorry, last name is brunch. Come on. I know you. He begged me. I'm deeply in love with him now. It was a very good move. This is a, he needs to create the same power dynamics.

He has with JPC. So he knows your name full and well, he just wants to put you in your place right out of the gate. So JPC, your hat boxes are over there. Take a snack, take a coffee, cut my hand. No, bye. No, bye. I'll go, I'll go.

But I got one thing to say before I go. The next time one of you two forgets what password gets you into our email our drop box or Where we serve our ads or post our episodes. I'm not gonna fucking help you at all. That's right I'm taking all the passwords with me. Wait, what one real quick Anthony Would you say the answer to one of your riddles was did you say horse come? Oh, yeah, that's what that's the password is horse Damn it. Okay. Fine. Well, I hope you guys enjoy your show. Let's see. Listen to Bill Bud's pop cast. No, get out of here. Whoa, that feels better. Does everyone just feel better? So Jay, do you have a lot different permanently? And then, does this happen a lot where you're like high-packs? Where I'm supposed to take to see, absolutely. Yeah, you put it in most of it.

We've already recorded the next three episodes of Bill Bud, so it's going to sound like him for a while, but eventually, things thinks we'll get a lot. Oh, what album's you review? Just a Space Jam theme song. Wow. Wow, that sounds amazing. I mean, I gotta be honest. No, I'm curious.

Well, I threatened to replace GPC with someone from Dungeons and Daddies as a joke, but this worked out great. So let's start an episode, a new episode, and then do a couple riddles. Yeah, let's do it. Here we go. Hey there, tops and pops. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. It's a return to a game that is not at all a ripoff of name that tune.

You can listen to that plus our entire Bat catalog at patreon.com slash HeyRiddleRiddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or the Review Crew for $8 a month. See you there!