Hey Riddle Riddle - #146: Second Location

Episode Date: May 5, 2021

In the desert of Riddle podcasts, we are the oasis of answers! In this sandy (SANDY?!) episode we have birds in space, a whole lot of Waitress, some Chris Hanson improvements, trick shots, Final Fantasy character(s)? and the return of some CAKE improv! #WiddleWednesdayStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgun podcast. Ooh, I had a timer going from the last time you recorded. Oh my god, that episode needs, I just need to like tell one more story, okay? And then we can stop the episode. It's just so funny. I think we beat Hollywood Handbook for the world record, right? We are 166 minutes? No minutes no hours 166 hours in we cut off our arm at least 30 hours Welcome to Hey Riddle Riddle, a sexy podcast about puzzles and butts. Saxophone noise. Saxophone noise. We're making a big part of steam's no key.

The sexiest of all potato-based pastas. Mm-hmm. Light a candle. Drips a marinara sauce on your chin. And let that no key take you to puzzle town. Saxophone noise. Ooh, and what's that? Two full baskets of sliced bread.

And no butter to be seen. That's right, let me slide these out of the table. Enjoy! Unexpected clarinet noise. You feel that in your pants? We put this on your chair. You're literally sitting in Bisc. Butum-ch. I'm out of reply.

Ah, I'm JPC. And I just showed up. What did I miss, guys? Oh, I think we're sexy now. Nothing sexy here that eaten some pasta and bread. No way. We're sexy now? That was the opposite of what I think I was before. Well, we're bringing sexy back. And was the opposite of what our thing was before. Well, we're bringing sexy back.

And so now it's back. RIP Justin Timberlake. There's nothing sexier than sex on a full stomach a car. Do you guys think that we are feeling nice and sexy because I just made you guys watch the Matthew Morrison from the Grinch clip? Yes. Aaron, do you want to walk us through what you showed us? So so listeners can find it themselves.

Okay. So I have only one personality trait now. And it's a clip from inside edition, a show I didn't know still existed. Why would it? I would. But it's still there somehow. And they did, I would say the most hilarious review of anything ever which is the horrifying Rendition of the Grinch musical done on NBC this past Christmas

The Grinch Adelstaffen by here real quick to just say inside edition should be nothing except for a newspaper for prisoners Mm-hmm, and there should just JPC stop it by real quick just to say we should abolish presents There should be no presents. Hey guys, can you stay? I'd rather you just stay instead of dropping. Nope, nope, I'm done, I'm out. I'm out. I have sexy grins.

Hi, well I'm just gonna drop by real quick to say that no one's actually staying here and is permanently here. Well, I'll just drop it in and out. We're renting this podcast. It's very confusing but for the listener, but obviously we record this podcast over Zoom. And whenever we're not talking, we turn our videos off.

So all that we see is one person talking, and it's the person who is talking at any given time. And I'm just dropping in to say that I'm back on the screen, but I'm gonna head out. Anyone need anything from Walgreens? I need you to tell us the rest about the sexy Grinch. All right, so if you're listening at home, Google Inside Edition Grinch Sex Pervert, and that's pretty much, you'll find what you're looking for. It is so funny. It is whoever, I don't know who you are, but show yourself, editor for Inside Edition. I love you. I honestly think that you might be my best friend. You're the funniest person in the world, and

give me a call. What are the chances that the editor for Inside Edition is a, a fan of podcasts and be a fan of this podcast? Okay, it would be an honor. I would cry to know if someone that funny listens to our show or had even heard of our show. I would say, James, I would say the odds are about equal to if you went to Times Square stood on top of like a newspaper stand and yelled, Hey, Zach Grimke from Little Rock, Arkansas, are you here? And a guy raised his hand and you went

holy shit, I just made up that name. I think that's about the same odds. And I'm a killer, that's not my day, but let's go talk at a second location. Okay, so everybody, I know that everyone's starting to get vaccinated and that you can like go out into the world obviously with your mask on still. I need everyone to go to the most public space

they can find. Zach Gremsky, Adel. Am I saying that correctly? You're now. Grimky. Grimky. Zach. Zach. Grimky. I don't want to get his name wrong. That's his name. I, there was a girl in my high school named Caroline Limpke and I was, I was writing, I was supposed to write a poem and rhyme her name in it, because she bet that I couldn't rhyme her name, because it was limp key, and I rhymed it with shrimp key. I had a poster on my bedroom wall of Jonathan Lippnicki.

Wait, that's on sweet. Younger old. Old. Old. I'm a time traveler. Did she like being called shrimp key? I know, I did not call her a shrimp key. I used that. I'm calling her that now. Well, of course, I used that as a rhyme for her name. And if you were to

buy this house it is a shrimp key so you can just put a shrimp in the door and you're ready to move in. When I grew up I mean I had a single mom so I was definitely a shrimp key. Yeah go home from school eat food for the TV. You need a big bowl of shrimp. Yep. But yeah, everyone go to a public space, yell Zach Graham Key and let us know how it goes. From Little Rock, Arkansas, and just see, I mean, hey, and if you're named is that grip kid,

you listen to this podcast, what the fuck are the odds? That's crazy. You win. You hit a prize. But JBC, he doesn't have to be in Little Rock. He's just from there, right? He's from there. He's from there.

And from there can mean a lot of things. Exactly. I say sometimes that I'm from Chicago, just because I've lived here for a decade. It's easier that way, so exactly. If you've lived in Little Rock, or were born there, or whatever, yeah. If I'm on a road trip and I'm driving through Milwaukee and I come out the other side,

I'll say I'm from Milwaukee. This is easier. Technically true. I mean, I say that I live in Chicago, technically I live in Gary, Indiana. So. You where? Uh huh in Gary, Indiana. So. You wear? Uh huh.

Gary, Indiana. Gary, Indiana. The more, the more it's marinating, uh, bring it back to Italian food. Yes. The more it's mariner, mariner, mariner, mariner, mariner, mariner, mariner, mariner, in my brain, the more I want the three of us to do a podcast called Second Location. I think we've been itching to get into the true crime podcast realm. And I feel like second location is a perfect title.

So that's how is it going to work? Like what's the format? What are we doing? So it's us improvising as serial killers. And that's all I have. Okay. And you have in crayon with your non-dominant hand. So. Hold on. It says Mr. Policeman, I've got a podcast for you. Okay, and you have written it in crayon with your non-dominant hand, so

Hold on it says mr. Polisman. I've got a podcast for you Well, Aaron that's the joke both my hands are non-dominant. Uh-oh, okay, um, let's see How do I? You know, I love it. I love that idea and I'm here to support it. Thank you Okay, I'll stop by that podcast I love that idea and I'm here to support it. Thank you. Okay, I'll stop by that podcast. I'm never gonna commit to a podcast. Just quick little stop by Grab a Muffin and I'm gonna be on my way.

Now, Aaron, you're the one who likes true crime podcasts though. I do. I do. I've never listened to one and I don't think I ever will. It's just not my cup of tea. And so it's kind of like hey, we're in a riddle at the beginning where we were like someone likes her nose, someone's in Bivalent, and someone doesn't like them. It's Aaron, the three bears rules.

Adil is serial killer. Aaron likes hearing about serial killers to learn how to protect yourself. And JPC is a ghost. So none of this is relevant. I did listen several years ago to a very popular true crime podcast and the first episode, they were like, yeah, it was just not for me, because they were saying things where I'm like,

I don't know if we should be making fun of the victim. So I think that role is not for me. I luckily, I don't listen to any podcasts that are like victim blaming these murder victims, but I, where you, you, I, and either of you like watched another show that still exists somehow like date line or anything like that growing up. Growing up. Like as children? Yeah.

No. I think my parents watch it like 2020. My parents watched date line. So I'm sure I caught it while I was in the room pretending to be a dinosaur cow or whatever, whatever I did as a kid. I did watch the one where is it Chris Hanson like catches Yes, that's I watched that one that one is boy that one is all kinds of just his ego display Oh, that shows all about it

I feel like there should be a song of like will you into the room, like you were walking in the catch predator, because he walks in with supreme confidence. Supreme confidence. And then to see the person's face, because he just, he knows he just crushed their life, which is great, but yeah, it is a lot about him. I feel like, okay, now again, I think that, you know, being a predator is bad, and I,

and even an alien with like a laser cannon and stealth technology, I think that that's you're about to say butt. being a predator is bad. And even an alien with like a laser cannon and self-technology. I think that that's your bug to say butt. But I think that if I were in that situation again, I probably would never be in that situation. I would launch myself at Chris Harrison and just try to beat the shit out of him. Because I'm already done.

I've gone away. I've got, I'm, and every, every single person he caught in that show was like, sorry, Chris. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I won't do it again. Just let me know. I, sorry Chris, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I won't do it again, just let me know. I'm taking Chris Harrison out. I would leave my name off the show

where I just say to catch a predator. They don't need to know my name, but I would make, they would never, the predator would never see me, but I would make them like, I'd be like, hey, I'll be right out, stand on that X, and then I'd have like a control room. I guess I'm just describing saw.

I have a control room where I push the button, and like a pneumatic tube goes up from the floor, and they're stuck in a pneumatic tube, and then it starts to fill with water. And then we got to commercial, and the audience just doesn't know what happens. I think the audience has a pretty good idea of what you did to that brother.

Don't you think that Chris Harrison has like a guy who married his mirror vibe? Yeah. If you go to a dinner party at his house and his wife is just a mirror and it's just him. Oh wait, who's Chris Harrison? Is this named Chris Harrison? I don't know what his name is.

Chris Hansen. Chris Hansen. Chris Hansen. Chris Hansen. We're all saying Hansen. The guy's name is Hansen. Yes, Hansen. When Jim Hansen got those predators with his muppets,

I'm honestly, I should not have been so entertained. I want just a served. I don't want to hear a big old bird talking about his day. But you guys really missed out. If you could go back in time try to have less friends in middle school and on a Friday night get a big old bowl of cheesets and watch a murder story when you're like 12 or 13. I'd literally be like 7 30 on a Friday and I'd be like, let's do it. And they would be like a couple takes a cruise. I would be like, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are your bedtime stories. I guess we used to watch America's most wanted with that. I forget that guy's name. Yeah. Yeah. That guy's a real piece of shit. What is his name? Oh, yeah. I don't think he's a few, yeah, I think he's great.

You guys, I don't think that you're alone. A lot of, um, Bob Sack. My male friends don't like, uh, true crime shows. It's like, oh, it's mostly only women, I think that like, um, I think it's also cute because like, I've seen a lot of, I don't, I can't remember where, but I feel like I've seen or heard a lot of jokes about how true crime podcasts are exclusively for white women. Yeah, yeah, there's some weird psychology to it.

Also like the cops can barely do anything and that's what I've learned, like, listen to that show you're like, oh, these white women are solving all of these cold faces. For the love of Christ, we let it come to this. God damn it. That's why defunding the police is all about taking the power out of the police and putting it into the hands of white women who have the time, who have the time to solve the crime. Yeah, let's give all that money to white women.

Oh, God. E-O-O. No, police. No, we're pulling the plug on your concert. E-O. No. Sting should have to give all of his money to white women. Oh, God. Okay.

Okay, this has to be a riddle podcast, right? Are we still doing that? Yes. Okay. I guess I'm reading the writing on the wall and it says, I'm old man puzzles today. Since when? That's your wall. You wrote that.

You defaced your wall of gymsies that she's going to kill you. Oh, no. Well, I wrote it with crayon with my non-dominant hand. So it should be able to come off. That'll work enough. Let's do some warm up riddles. Okay. And this will be fun is what we've told ourselves for a hundred time episodes. This one. I just walked in for a muffin. I'm not really here to stay in new riddles. I just try to drive in May. Stop treating this podcast like it's the break room at work. What? God, happy Wednesday, everybody. And to be honest, for the last several weeks, you've just been

checking for birthday cake. We're on to the air. Just went to see that one birthday. All right. I'm going to head back to my desk. All right. Here's my mug. Here's a warm up, buddy. What do the following pairs of letters represent? R-D-S-T-N-D. Research, solve, end development, street, and what's the last one?

N-D. North Dakota. What do the following pairs of letters represent? R. D. S. T. N. D. So, R. D and N. D. That's a Rhode Island and North Dakota. But S. T. Is straight. State. Is state. What state begins with S? Okay, hold on, I can get this. It has to be a Massachusetts. No, back to the state. It has to be a state that begins.

Massachusetts in a mirror starts with S. That's true. Okay, so is the answer Massachusetts in a mirror? It's not like Massachusetts in a mirror. And definitely don't say it three times. Every state begins with S. Okay, what? They're both a constant of L. Okay. No. Children could be listening

to JBC. I got it. Okay. And I know. And that is also our answers for going on that road trip with you. How do we feel about? We take every state? So I know there's there's plans to make Washington DC a state which is wonderful What if we take every state And we cut it in a half and we make every state North Blank and South Blank except for Virginia Virginia We leave alone because I don't want to mess with them north north Dakota South to go to South North I didn't think I saw South Dakota. I didn't think this through and I love it. What a mess. No, I'm happy to do that to that. I live in North West Virginia. I live in North North Carolina. I live in North Hawaii. Which island is North Hawaii? Shut up. I want to see a scene.

Aaron and JPC you are two friends who are meeting up for a nice dinner and you're living in this new America that has 101 states. Hey, where are you? I'm sorry. I'm at the restaurant. I am so lost. I'm so lost. I think I'm in South Iowa right now. What?

Oh my God. Where? I'm sorry. You said Benigan's, where are the Benigan still? I came to the old Benigan's that I knew, and it's in South Iowa. No, I said come to Benwick, which is in Vermont.

Mm-hmm. And then. Wait, I'm sorry, North Vermont or South Vermont? It's in North Vermont. In. Benwick is in North Vermont? I, okay, Northvermont or Southvermont. It's in Northvermont. And... Midwink, is it Northvermont? I, okay, you're breaking up. We're breaking up?

Oh, no, we're not breaking up. Okay. Wait, I just don't want to get into the middle of South Iowa for it to get fucking broken up with. Okay, walk outside and tell me what you can see. I'm outside. It's basically just, there's a big butter sculpture to my west, to the east. There's an

Equally big butter sculpture. It's pretty much wall-to-wall butter sculptures. Okay. I also am surrounded by butter sculptures So we eliminated the coasts. Okay, where I could be. Okay. I'm not in a coast. All right Okay, butter county, which is the whole middle part of the country. Listen. hey, Carmen, can I be honest with you? Can you hear me? What? Carmen, Carmen! Can I be honest with you? What? At first this whole thing, this, you know, this chase, this exciting thing with us was

it was exciting, but I just, I don't think that it's, I don't think that I built for a long term. Maybe no. Wait, hold on. Hold on, this Geeter from Douglas here. Give me a long term. Baby, no. Wait, into... Hold on. Skeeter from Doug is here. Give me a second. Hey! Hey man! Hey hey!

Alright, kick him in the stomach and then finish what you were saying. Okay, hold on. Hey! Hey! Oh, well, I heard that. We both kicked each other in the stomach. I'm saying. Hahaha.

Hahaha. I was trying to remember the Rockefeller theme just to underscore your conversation. And in the end of the day and I go to Pellarana where in the world is Garbage. I do. My favorite part is planned to plan in Scandinavia. It's just great. What a great lyric. Whoever, if you're the lyricist for that song and you happen to listen to Hey Riddler Riddler, I don't know if the odds are of that. But that song, the gummy bear songs,

sometimes a theme song and just. 90s kid shows had the best songs. Gum at bass. I cannot, I cannot overstate this enough. If you do something cool for work and you have it, let us know about it yet. Why not? We want to hear about it. We want to hear about it and we want to meet you and figure out how we can experience what you do. I love you. I just flick your brain. Wait a minute.

Huh? Definitely the same. We have a listener who works for double-dare, like making games and we met him. Had a hat. Yeah, he's double. And he met us and he was, could not have been nicer. And he gave us double dare towels. And I was like, this, I'm going to frame this.

You guys, I don't know if you've noticed this, but in a lot of our emails or like messages from fans, we will, people will like drop little hints about how interesting their jobs are. And then I'm like, what? That happens all the time. Someone's like, I'm inventing a planet or whatever for my job, and you're like, what? And it just seems like an afterthought, and I go, why are, if you have such an interesting job,

why are you listening to us? It does feel like our listeners would write to us and say I'm inventing a planet. Or whatever. Okay, let's just answer to that riddle. I can't stress this enough. If you work like a nine to five at an office and you crunch numbers or something, and then take a plan it. Or whatever. Okay, let's answer to that riddle. I can't stress this enough. If you work like a nine to five at a like an office

and you crunch numbers or something, like don't reach out to us. We, we, we, we, we, we that you can add in a to the middle of each one of these words to create a word out of it. So we would have rad sat and mad. I said on my dad. I said my reds nads. That's like that was like Dr. Seuss trying to be hip in the 80s. I said on my nads.

Isn't that rad? Oh, okay. I have a question. Can you give us a hint? I can give you a hint. So this might be beneficial, these letter representations, might be beneficial for say the Olympics. Third. Yes. Yes. Second. Yes, they are the last two letters of third first and second. I would like to see a scene Okay, the three of us are on the podium a JBC picked the sport Tether ball tether ball three of us virtual tether ball game

I was first At all you were second JBC were third and we are listening to the national anthem and being a little passive aggressive towards each other I almost had you what I almost had you I Almost beat you all right, but I'm standing a little bit higher than you Wonder this is a fucking a bullshit Just a way everybody knows it's a fucking bullshit. We so everybody knows, it is a fucking bullshit. We can't hear you, you're so far down there.

No, you can hear it in the atmosphere, it's a very tall, so you're short that I'm a tall, so you can hear it. Oh, beautiful. I wish we were listening to my national anthem. France. France, I'm gonna win forever. Say you remember my flag, friends! I'm making you'd hard to focus on my national anthem.

Italy? No, no, our national anthem is a fly me to the moon But I'm a little bit more than you. Oh yeah, well our national anthem is um, I got brimmed in low place We're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners, we're the winners friend I'm still a man about to tell about magic. Hey I just wanted to say I will split my gold medal in half if you each give me a piece of bread from your country. My God you guys have great bread. Wow I'm in. If you're going to split your medal in half and share it with us I'm in because you have not thought through that process. Uh huh. Ready? Oh that's why you won. Oh, that's why you won. He's put it in half.

Now we each get a piece. They're chocolate guys. That's why that person's strong. Hey, we're not the chocolate guys. No, it does feel appropriate that the metal for a tether ball should be a chocolate medallion. I guess I'll say seen. I just see seen.

I did Casey. That's all Casey. Sure.hmm. I did Casey. That's all the- Casey? Sure. Sure. Okay, I can prove it. This is literally recorded, right? Yeah, yeah.

Okay, here, let me, I have the master control. Leave me out of it. Hold on, hold on. Hey, you guys are my best friends. Scene. Well, now don't you two feel bad, huh? They're silent. Casey had crickets. No don't have cricket. We add audio from the game cricket. Casey had a wolf. Oh look I watch this

here. Okay. We're looking at a long pot. Maybe pot. Is that what we do cricket? Okay and scene. You're wondering if we've recorded recently. The only thing that I know about cricket is that Casey Jones carried cricket bats on his back and he beat the shit out of whoever the ninja turtles were fighting with him. Can I just say, in the original Ninja Turtle movie, which I think came out like 91,

first city ever owned, was that soundtrack? The guy who plays Casey Jones is fucking phenomenal. I don't know. I think that guy's been in one other movie. I think he was in like Zodiac or something. That guy should be in more movies. That guy's outstanding. He was in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

and then Zodiac like 15 years later. That's the two movies he was in. I think so. I think so. Regardless, let's somebody find out. Wait, if that guy listens, reach out to us. We have a job for you. We want you to come on as a guest because you absolutely rules an actor.

You're one of my favorite actors and I've only seen you in two things. I think Sam Rockwell is also in that Ninja Turtles. He is, that was his first movie appearance, but he plays one of the... He's in the foot, he's in like that arcade. Just dropping in to see if there's any cake happening. No cake, alright. See you guys later. You keep trying to get me to sing that cake song, but a good fucking luck because I'm not doing it. There's a constantly a clip of you in my head singing, I have a car that drives electronically.

That was your cake impression that I hear in my head all the time. Aaron, you brought it up. So I guess we're doing another round of cake-ass songs. I think it's called Weird-ass Cake. I'm gonna ask your confidence. Okay, I invented this segment and I will get it right. I think it was called Weird-ass Cake. We're gonna say it's called Cake-ass songs. I like cake-ass songs.

So GBC, do you mind going first? No. Okay, so. He's the best added though. Have them go last. It's too much to have them go first. This is just a cake song. JPC you'll go first and last.

Unless Aaron, did you want to go as well Aaron? Yeah, no, I don't want to go. I want you to see to go. So we're both seeing our time to you JPC. Yes, please. Aaron, I want to give the beat. Oh yeah, I need to see. I need to suggestion also of what the song should be about.

I think it needs to be about a break room. Okay. And I think Adelaide to be about a break room. Okay. And I think Adela, you should do the beat. Okay. Do you have to see you're ready? This is a fake ass cake song about break rooms. Here we go. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh And a real bass line from a real cake song. Got it. It's Helen's birthday.

And we're having cupcakes. And we're having cupcakes. It's Helen's birthday. And she will be remembered as such. She's got headphones on on even though they're not connected to her computer phone she's taking work calls with people from Taiwan and she's a boss and she doesn't even know it. God they you actually have to tell people their official titles. That's really confusing. Yeah, we haven't done that in maybe 50 episodes.

How enjoyable that was. Let's do another riddy, because I guess we have to. Sure. Let us know if you want this song to be about riddles or just doing cake impressions. And I think I know my answer. Here's another riddle. I don't know if this is so much a riddle as it is just a fact, but we'll listen to it in a riddle.

NASA was considering sending canaries into space to study them under zero gravity. The project was scrapped when someone realized that in spite of having sufficient water supplies, the canaries could die of dehydration within a few hours. Why? Again, not really a riddle, more of a nature fact. So that was considering sending canaries into space to study them under zero gravity. The project was scrapped when someone realized that in spite of having sufficient water supplies, the canaries could dive dehydration within a few hours. Why? Take some wild swings. Because they're sweating.

take some wild swing because they're sweating. Is it one of those things where canaries get into zero Gs, they feel zero inhibitions, they fuck so crazy. Yeah, get a say. They start fucking. Oh my god. I want to say a scene. This isn't going where you think it is. Oh, okay.

The two of you are canaries in space fucking. No, no, the two of you are two canaries in space. You've been up there for a few days and And things are starting to go south I told you don't fall in love with me Because I'll never know if it's for real. Do you love me or do you just feel lonely up here? Okay, well, I mean that was all good and well you told me don't fall in love with me back when we were on Earth, but things change, Carolyn.

Okay? We're here now. I take this job seriously. I came from a mining family. You take this job seriously. You take this job seriously. You take this job seriously. You take this job seriously.

You take this job seriously. You take this job seriously. You take this job seriously. You take this job seriously. You take this job seriously. You take this job seriously. You take this job seriously. You take this job seriously. You take this job seriously. They are the ones who would start to sing when things started to go south, okay? Hey, Carolyn. What? I got a news flash for you. What?

You're just a bird who didn't die. Huh? That's why you're here, okay? There were 12 of us, 10 of them died. That's why you're here. It's not because, it's not because of your ability, it's not because of who you are. We're fucking meaningless. Okay, now you're nebbing.

Now you're nebbing me. I'm the same way. They don't care about us. Kiss me. Be negging me. I'm the same way. They don't care about us. Kiss me. Beak kiss me. What is this? What's singing? You're singing?

I was about you. I was giving myself a note. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh I'm a bird and I'm in space. I don't know where to fly right now. Where's the sky and where's the ground? I think I'm gonna die right now. I'm with another canary. A terrible canary. But I love him with my whole, my whole hellens of boss. And she doesn't even know.

Why doesn't Helen know she's a boss? She hasn't been parodied yet. There's a line JPC said, whereas like, that is literally a cake lyric, where you just said, you're just a bird who didn't die. Doesn't that feel like the beginning of a cake song? 100%. You're just a bird.

That's more fridge-niter. You're just a bird. Yeah. That dead end die. So they said monkeys into space. Did they try it with a spake with space? Did they try any other animals, or is it just monkeys? They tried monkeys. I think they said a dog in with space. Did they try any other animals, or is it just monkeys? They tried monkeys.

I think they said a dog in a space, isn't it? Yeah, like a Russian cleaner or something? They should be able to like bugs into space too, like insects and stuff too, I think. Yeah. Did they bring the dog back? Oh, they sent pigs into space on the muppets. No, the dog retired of the space.

Famous. Famous. They let it loose on the mood, did He just bowed it off into the distance. Aaron, that's where we get moon dog from. Mm-hmm. Okay. What's in the building in space? Can we get a hint for the for this one? It's like how can Aries drink or something? Aaron, you're correct, but it's specific. Yeah, they have to go down into drink. They go like, bloop, bloop, bloop, not like a hamster like, bloop, bloop, bloop. Yeah. Yeah. Is it something like the physics of they couldn't teach them

to drink in zero gravity? Like they couldn't teach them to get the water out of the air? You both are basically 95%. I'll give it to you. So. You can't teach it to drink up. You can't drink upside down. Well, I got me a canary. It's as big as space and it's about to blast off.

Birds, unlike humans. So I guess this is all birds, not just canaries. Birds, unlike humans, need gravity to swallow. Humans can swallow even while hanging upside down. Sorry, it said birds, unlike humans need to be watching the movie Gravity to swallow. Wow, isn't that fascinating? Could they also, I know that this is probably wrong.

Could they also just be listening to the Sarah Bareilles song gravity? Would that, would that help you swallow? Yeah. I wanna say yes, but I don't know who that person is or what that song is. Sarah Bareilles. You don't know Sarah Bareilles.

Oh, come on. Are you, wait, I could be wrong. Are you two trying to say Aurora Borealis? No. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Star. Did you see waitress? I saw it with Sarah Burrass. Holy shit, you idiot. I saw it with Sarah Burrass and Jason Maraz. And I got to go backstage and I think I told this story. Wow, this is Jason Maraz's life. I'm just threw a mug through my window. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, that one song that I like At all, you saw her in the market What's that? She's in the pocket in the back Hey, you didn't deserve to see her She was wonderful by the way

She was wonderful I wish I had met Sarah Brayless and I wish you had it I met her and I said, so you're the family that makes the pasta Hey, we gotta take a break, we'll be right back with more Bill buds We'll be right back with more Bill Buds. I need to cool off. We'll be right back with another Jason Razz. Hey GPC. Uh, uh, yeah.

You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking, adult, and I You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking at all. And I'm setting up a website to prank him. Um, can I just need some advice? This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all.

Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, it gauge with your audience and say, let me think for products that cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Edel, come here. Come here. Come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products?

Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening?

Okay. Wait, what's going on with Addle? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords,

our popular products and content on my Prank website, the Prank's activity. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. The website was for. Prank. With Squarespace, you can connect to your store to Vedent Dirt Party tools to extend the functionality of your website.

Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back.

Hey, Erin. Hey, Erin. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adel and JPC, thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here.

I am sort of at an empaths. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, have there never truly is a middle of the woods? No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually. So, as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still

stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You've seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you owl, owl. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Mm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works way better

than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time

for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, GPC's putting down bread crumbs, and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Dirty bread crumbs. Mm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today

to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp. H-E-L-P.com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the T-L-I-D-D-C, hoping at home. Bye, baby.

I am home. Who are we? What is this? I, clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Money.

Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Uh-huh. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much,

especially around tax season. Clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, uh, sorry, I also wanna give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly, and easily find your subscriptions for you, and for any you don't wanna pay for anymore, just hit cancel, and Rocket Money will cancel it for you. It's that easy.

Clint, Clint, Clint. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off over three million. Oh, Clint, Clint, Clint. Over three million people have used Rocket Money, saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rock. Stop. Stop.

No, click, click, click, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwirted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocket money.com slash riddle. That's rocket money.com slash riddle. Rocket money.com slash riddle rock at money dot com slash riddle and tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love flour, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo- in my life. I watched the movie where you said, I gotta admit, I did not care for it. I've never seen the movie, but I hear the movie is very different. Well, it's a pretty dark story.

The musical is very good. But like also, what were we supposed to like Nathan Fillion in that movie? Cause I mean, it was some of it was like shot in a way that it was like, oh, are we trying to make him like a person that who I'm supposed to be like, oh, this guy's okay, because he's not, he sucks.

I don't know. He's so good at playing like a smug douche. Yeah, that's true. He's got the chin for it. The purpose of that character is not to be likeable, because he has like classic, I'm a good guy, energy, and the musical, he has the same thing. But really, he's cheating on his wife,

who's lovely with a pregnant woman Who's married so I think it's just like not a lot of examples of those guys in media, but they exist They exist and guess what ladies they're all doctors and guess what ladies. They're all podcasters Do you go to raise with basketball? Yeah, you must not go to raves you have to show up with the glow in the dark basketball or you're gonna get kicked out first of all I find driving around I've also I've always got two things in my trunk I've got a pair of swim trunks because you never know when it might be a pool party I got a glow in the dark basketball because you never know when some might be a pool party. I gotta go on the dark basketball. Because you never know when some kids

might need to get fucking schooled. I carry two things. A knife and a straw. Because you never know when somebody's gonna need a tricky out of it. Um, I hope those things get combined one day. I hope that you want to swim, and then I'll say you want to play.

You know, this basketball hoop center and pools. Oh, yeah. I do. I know those basketball hoops that are pools. Come on. Keep dreaming. Even if we didn yeah, I do. I know those basketball hoops that are in pools. Come on, keep dreaming. Even if we didn't, I think we got it. Keep dreaming, I know those basketball hoops that are in pools. You wish. You're talking to Johnny basketball hoops in pools. You do have that energy, J.B.P.

You have the energy of a guy who you and your three friends, I'm picturing a lot of dog now. You're all at a pool party and you're all, it's just the four of you, and you're all spending a long time trying to do one cool pool trick where you pass the ball to one person, the other and the other and the other person dunks it, you have that energy.

Those are really, really enjoyable things to watch. I just love it when people do four person trick shots. That's such fun stuff. What if, because it's a celebration of friendship. You're not doing four-person trick shots with fucking enemies. It's also a celebration of trust, because you've easily, after like 10 hours of working on it, as it's going perfectly for the first time, somebody could just be like, nope, isn't it funny that I fuck it up for us? So happy. Exactly. Okay, okay, here here's the thing you guys. I want to see a scene. We're three enemies and we're trying to get a trick shot and we're about 10 hours in. Okay, so I'm going to throw this bowling ball. It's going to hit the pins. The pins are going

to scatter, right? Knocking down the blocks of wood. Those blocks of wood are going to allow for a ramp to rise up, letting two basketballs down, you two grab them, pass them to each other, and then reverse dunk. Okay, I mean, we're 10 hours in, Mark, I love that plan, you keep explaining, you do me. Maybe this time when you throw the bowling ball, are you gonna not hit me or the gut, you're gonna actually hit the pens, you're gonna throw that bowling ball directly in the head. YARME in the head! Lane, Lane and Laney, I'm so sorry. I think it's your name. You're sorry? You're sorry! I'm sorry, I agreed to this!

Listen, yes, have I thrown a bowling ball at each of you? Yes, I'm sorry. Lane, did I taste you in the neck during one of the takes takes because I forgot you were here and I thought you were attacking me Absolutely, am I sorry? You told me my parents were getting a divorce. I didn't know that yet Well, I'm someone else reporting you I'm someone who loves giving other people bad news You know when Princess when Princess Diana died I found out because I had stayed up late. I called everyone I knew how fucking older you Stand on those exes it's Clint Her again. Oh wait. Let's try it one more time. Okay one more time Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do That news. Trench's Diana is dead. Bro, that was like 30 years ago.

See. I think we got it. We're gonna go buy all you guys. Got it in one. Got it in one. Got it. All right, we gotta hear another riddle. Okay, here's another riddle.

Thank you. It is impossible for anyone to survive longer than one week without drinking. Yet Kevin managed a 10-day desert crossing without finding water or bringing any along. How was this possible? It rained. It rained somehow. It rained. Aaron, you are incorrect.

His best friend brought water. But that is both of those are phenomenal answers, but we're gonna say that Kevin was alone. Is Kevin a camel? Kevin is not a camel, but... Is he some other sort of cactus type creature? But I, wait, do you have camels or cac-cac? I do want...

You guys, the day a cactus starts walking is the day I go. Thanks so much, Earth. It's been so good. I loved it. And then you're gonna just shoot me into space. I do want to, I do want to. What's that little cactus from Final Fantasy with the little arms?

Oh yeah, that's one of the special things. Yeah, oh. He's one of the special things. Oh, that's gonna, Casey would know. Casey put that in the chat. Casey put that in the chat. Cause that's the best. Anytime I have that spell, I use it immediately

cause it brings me so much joy Cactar okay, here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna see a quick scene Adel and Aaron you are both a protagonist in a final fantasy game and you're gonna meet me and I'm going to be a little cactar Cloud we have to continue on the path Fine then you can't keep trying to find these cats. I will go first, but first make me trust you. Say my name. Cloud say my name. It seems like a sexist trap. What? Sexist trap? Me asking you to say my name is a sexist trap? Let's walk over to this blackboard, shall we?

Catching women in traps of not liking the things that you like, underlying, underlying, underlying. Sometimes, we are conditioned to like things that are different from the things that you like. So I don't know much about Final Fantasy, so okay, let's see. Okay, hey, Cloud, cloud, it's Scott. It's Scott. My name is Scott Williams.

Okay, Scott. Hey everybody, this is Kaktar here. Just what to say. Seems like an errand specific trap, not necessarily a sexist trap. Oh really? Okay. Just because something happens to a woman

does not be Kaktar. No, Kaktar knows a ton of women who do a lot of love and it's a Kaktar. Oh, shut up Kaktar. Okay. This is not your fight. I'm doing something a woman just said, I'm taking the time to teach you, explain something

to you, Kaktar, stop dancing. No, Kaktar has to dance. Kaktar, Kaktar, Kaktar has four clubs. That you know so many women who don't have that experience. Fine, you want to say, X-Girlfriend's Kaktar has a lot of X-Girlfriend. Okay, Kaktar, is that how you say? Is that because they'll be able to get close to you? What's that. Is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you say, is that how you on, hold on. Probably like, sleep here or something like that.

Hold on. The villain in little princess. Hold, hold on. Scott's got a sword. Yeah, oh, oh. Character attack. A thousand needles, a thousand needles, a thousand needles. Yeah, go, character.

The little princess, I believe. He's in you, he's in you to my needles. And I just, because I wouldn't savor the moment, I've been treating this like five more. And I believe the villain is a little person named Ms. Minchin. Nope. Okay, I, I used a little magic spell

to figure out the little Princess villain and it says Ms. Minchin, so. You Google it. You, I, I don't, I don't, I don't know. I have a question for you guys. Are you gonna fight me or put me in a Pokemon or anything? Or, no, I'm gonna teach you. And for you guys. Are you gonna fight me here put me in a Pokemon or anything or? No, I'm gonna teach you and you know what you're welcome. I'm spending this time to teach you and

Truly was a final fantasy of mine to kill you for Jesus Christ you stab me in my gun What's wrong with you boy world of fucking We don't we don't have rights to Jesus Christ. Can you say different name? Oh? Okay, I guess so sweet Moses on a cross We don't have a right some Moses. We know the right to that either. Okay. We get a sweet bomb at Dragons that works that works seed You know the right to that either. Okay, we get a sweet bomb at King of Dragons. That works, that works.

Seed. Oh, Cactar got a gut wound. My favorite Final Fantasy character, Scott Williams. No, I didn't know. He played Stiffler, right? He played Stiffler. I do know a little bit about Final Fantasy. Now that I'm looking at it.

Oh yeah? Is there a new game? Yeah, there's seven. There's a reimagination. And you played the remake, right? I played it and I absolutely loved it. You know what I was playing it? Casey.

Mariah. Oh, did she? Did she love it? Well, I don't know. I don't think so. I think she's a woman, so I don't think she could possibly have understood it. Okay.

I guess I'm not saying women can't like this. I'll explain it to her and see if she liked it, but maybe she didn't. Oh my God. She did it on the first pass. Aaron, who's the villain in Little Princess? And what is Little Princess? Well, you're... It's a movie.

I was just thinking about it the other day. It's one of my favorite movies from growing up. But you were technically right. That's the grown-up villain, but there's a child villain in her name's Lavania, and I knew there's no possible way you could know that. So that's why I chose. Jokes on you, I take Lavinia every day for my attention. Ask a new doctor about using Lavinia. Side effects may include being a little princess. Can you give me some food?

Were we working on a rental? Oh yeah, the desert one. There's no way. Yes. It is impossible for anyone to survive longer than one week without drinking. Yet, Kevin managed a 10 day desert crossing without fighting water or bringing any along. How is this possible? I do like the idea of a camel with two cacti as humps

and it says is Kevin and Camel. Okay, so. Yes. Is it? So again, I just want to, sorry, real quick, I want to remind ourselves, all three of you had correct answers because they are correct,

but they're not this answer. So definitely, Kevin could have been Camel. Kevin could have brought a friend who had water, it could have rained. These are all amazing answers, but it's not the answer to this. I think I've got it. Is Kevin's last name a Trades?

And was he wearing a still suit by a good man? Ooh. What's this now? This is Dune. This is Frank Herbert's Dune. This is an Adel trip. This is Dune. I have that book, but I've never read it. Oh, wow. You got to read Dune.

You got to read it before that movie comes out. I bought it because so many people said it's good, and I was like, I'm going to read this, and same with another book I can't run. I'm starting to feel good. I know that there are a lot of women who are interested in Final Fantasy. Actually, one of my friends, very interested.

Know that she plays that. Here's the thing though. Have you ever been on a date and then you tell a guy you like, of course I have. And then he goes, okay, well then what's the third track on the re-released Sergeant Pepper album? And then you go like, why the fuck are we doing this? Aaron, I'm so sorry. You went on a date with Sean Lennon and you were a nightmare.

Yeah. Yeah. Of course I was. He was just trying to talk about his dad. You were in the wrong. I'm sorry. I started singing Hades You, Damn and he didn't think it was funny. Whatever. Aaron, that's a date with George is so many. That's never happened to me, but I was one time on a date with someone who I can't remember what band that they mentioned, but they asked me if I liked them and I panicked and I said that I did. And then they wanted to genuinely have a conversation about that band, not like quiz

me on it, but I was like, it came from what I'm doing, so. I think I said this before on the show, but I know someone who went on a date with Walter Payton's daughter, and he didn't know what to do, so he put on a Walter Payton highlights tape. Oh. Oh.

I can't even begin unpack that. Oh my God. Is this what you want? So if you have a red dune, a still suit is this full body suit that lets you reclaim and re-process all of your water. So you don't even survive in the desert. Exactly. And pees and poops.

Peas and poops and sweats. They stink. But it lets you survive in the desert so you can get that spice baby, but watch out for the worms. Oh, that's true. What? Dude is basically a beetle juice. This is what I'm talking about.

Drunken Idaho. Is there a new dune coming out? Yeah, there I'm talking about. I don't know. Is there a new dude coming out? Yeah, there's a lot of crazy. Timothy Shalamy. And I do want to say... I see where you're a priority fly in. Wow, that was a good test. I was going to say Sendaya.

So now we all care about the power from that movie. To me personally, a still suit is when I show up at a funeral wearing a tie, a dress shirt, and cargo shorts with crocs. And I say, uh-uh wearing a tie, a dress shirt, and cargo shorts with crocs, and I say, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, tie and dress shirt, still suit. I think you might have to throw a cumber butt on there to make it still suit.

So what do we think about the Kevin in the desert? Okay, so it's not, it doesn't have anything to do with clothes that he's wearing. Is he getting water through a different way? Does he have like an IV, like hooked up? Um, he doesn't have an IV do with clothes that he's wearing. Is he getting water through a different way? Does he have like an IV like hooked up? He doesn't have an IV, but JBCR correct. He is getting water another way. A person in a hot air balloon is lowering a gallon

of water in the basket every so often. Hello, down there. Is Kevin. Is Kevin one of those, I think they're like LeChi2 from Mario. They're the one when Mario Kart, when you go off the track They are a little cloud and they pick you up and put you back on the track Yes, he's a little turtle wearing a mages robe on a cloud with a fishing pole. I love that

Yes Okay, so next hurdle please I went off rainbow road and he saved my fucking life. I'll never forget that guy I want to see a scene the two of you are Let me ask you who is each of your favorite I was gonna say Mario and Luigi, but let's go Whoever he's known in my house now groceries Groceries Your Yoshi jpc. I assume wall Luigi wall Luigi Yeah, so you're a wall Luigi and Yoshi and you've been wandering a desert for 10 days.

Yeah, where? Where? Yoshi! Okay, look, look, Yoshi. Uh-huh. Where can't we just crack open your eggs and drink it? My child? It's not a child.

OK, I'm sorry. It's a chicken's egg, a chicken's child. Not yet. Not yet. Why don't we just open up your butt and eat that? OK. OK, fine. Fine.

Yoshi, point taken. Look, we're going to die out here if we don't do something. Waaah! This feels like getting stuck with like your in-laws in-laws. Like, you're not, you're not even in my Mario, you know? Wait, okay, cause I'm an afterthought, cause no one's drawing my left foot. Yeah, you know what? I wish that guy hadn't saved you when you had gone off to tracks and had haunted house You know what Luigi doesn't even deserve, you know an antagonist, okay? He's barely a protagonist. You're so obsessed with Luigi

Just ask him out already talk about him so much. He probably wouldn't even want to go out with someone like me, right? I mean why would anyone want a date me? Why do I have to offer? Wait, it's gonna be my time. See? Oh man, it is so funny to see your dog just be so casual with your dog. Your dog's like, it does.

I saw us forget him. I saw us forget you roll her eyes. She finally went to sleep and it's like, it's just because I was making a lot of like, wow, wow, wow, no, he's okay, okay. He's back to normal. I was okay. This is the normal thing that he's doing now.

This is our stasis. So how is Kevin making across the desert? Like I said, he is getting water from another source. And I'll even. It's been a Walla Ouija, sorry, I have this question. Has there been like a Walla Ouija lead game? Because I think that would be hilarious, like where he's the lead.

So I know he was introduced in Mario Tennis because like they had to have like a tennis, what's it called, the Quattrat, doubles, doubles. They do doubles. I've watched a funny video of Doing doubles tennis and they hit the person's butt twice in a row when they're serving they hit their partners But it made me laugh really hard. I thought it was just like a 50 year old married couple because it was it was Pete Sanverson, Andre, I guess you Okay, so wait hold on they created him for Mario tennis. Yeah, but I don wait, hold on. They created him for Mario

tennis. Yeah, but I don't think he's ever had a standalone. I don't into my knowledge. He's never had a standalone like him where he's he's the he's the main person. I think I'd love to see it. That's a big thing now is having like villains have their own stories. And the fact that he's not even Mario and he's Walla WG. That's hilarious. He should have his own thing. I think I want to say that my favorite all time Mario game. I'm immediately going to regret saying this because I haven't thought through it

I Feel like my favorite game of all-time was on the Wii. I think it was Wario where Whereas like 250 little short games that game made me fucking laugh so hard It was just like he just had to do these little mini games. I Lately remember that that game a plus plus plus. Please bring that back. So good. So Kevin is traveling through to Desert. He's getting water different way. And I'll even say in a different form. Is this like an ice desert? Ding ding ding TKO round is over. A desert is a region so arid. How arid is it? It's so arid that it supports

little or no vegetation. Many areas of the far north are also considered deserts. This is where Kevin made his 10-day crossing. He survived by eating ice and snow. Okay, so this has real douche bag energy. Everybody back to the board. Okay, this is douche bag and douche. Um, I just came back from the desert. I was just in the desert for 10 days. Oh, what desert? Sorry, you're confused. A desert can be...

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm sorry, no, you weren't on an island, you were on an islet. It's a little bit different than an island. Oh yeah, really? And then I... Islet my roots leave the break room. Actually, it's magma when it's below ground, lava when it's above ground.

That's awesome. I'm going to go back to my desk. Happy birthday. You're a volcanic prick. Let's do another riddle here. Yeah. Am I fucking alone here? I won't agree to that.

I didn't say anything. I will be made to do another riddle, sir. Okay, here we go. I'm here. Hey, Adel, I'm here. Okay, okay. I'm here, okay. Kevin.

Kevin and Susie waged a bet on who could stay under water the longest without the aid of any breathing apparatus. Kevin jumped into the pool and managed to stay under for one minute. Suzy knew she could never beat Kevin's time using his method, but she won by staying under for two minutes using an old trick. What did Suzy do? So they made it by hookah say underwater longest. Kevin jumped the pool, held his breath for one minute, Susie used a different method and was underwater for two minutes.

Did you get a thing? Yes, snorkel. No breathing apparatus was used, but that's okay. Okay, snorkel's not a breathing apparatus. When I was younger. Fun apparatus. And I was swimming.

I would get one of those pool tubes. The ones I don't, no, not a noodle, not a thing. Coravioli? No, not the thing that you can like sit in, either that has like a hole in it. It would be like a tube that you could also use for sledding sometimes. And you turn it upside down and then you could lift it up just a little bit to breathe underneath. And so I would sometimes just gum up and breathe and do that.

It was famously when you were swimming as a kid there's a lot of snipers in the area, right? but to breathe underneath. And so I would sometimes just come up and breathe and do that. Was famously when you were swimming as a kid, there's a lot of snipers in the area, right? Yeah. Yeah. And a lot of lightning. And I was like, all right. Damn, I missed it.

I'm smarter than this. All right, and have fun at the pool. There's snipers in lightning. But be home by seven so you can watch a date line alone. Hold on, someone give me a beat. Quick, quick, quick, before I forget it, somebody give me a dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, River of thought process. I have that the source in my butt. Okay, shut it down. You guys we just got a really violent letter from cake.

They said, please stop. They listen. Wait, Aaron, what did they say? Please. We've sent our lawyers to break your legs. Stop. Mealy. We've sent our lawyers to break your legs. Stop and eat, immediately. Seize, Ed to sis. Um, JVC, that was a very funny joke you said about my childhood, but it is kind of true, because I think the worst injury I ever got was when I was underwater of a pool.

I know what you're thinking, because I'm going to jump down my head. No. This is in Australia, right? No, this is... I get hurt and water a pool. I know what you're thinking, someone jumped on my head. No. This isn't Australia, right? No, this is, I get hurt and water a lot. This was when my sister Molly accidentally gave me a concussion. You know there's yellow with the ball bats? Yeah.

The fun torpedoes underwater, you felt with water, you can shoot it under the water to hit people with it. And we were passing it back and forth in school and I went underwater at the wrong time and it hit me right in the head. And then I don't remember what happened. But all I remember is later that night, I started, my memories came back

and my mom was yelling at Molly and I started defending Molly. I was like, it was in her phone. Also, how did I get home? Aaron, what if JPC or I said one word and that caused you to immediately wake up and you're back at that age still underwater? And all of this was just in that moment.

We just, we just like zebra, apocalyptic. We just winter soldier Aaron back into that moment. Yeah, I'd go, oh my God, absolutely sweet. I get to experience the second Lord of the Rings again for the first time. I can fucking wait. This is a question that I have for both of you. So, you know, famously the winter soldier,

I don't know if you guys watched that train wreck of a show on Disney+. I did. Plus, but the Winter Soldier has like a few code words that they read to him, resets his brain and turns them into the Winter Soldier. Have you guys thought about like what your code words would be if you were a winner for sure? Oh, for sure.

Absolutely. Mine would be Tiki, flannel, plaid, and fire. Doom. Did you do-do-do-do-do-do. Tiki, plaid, flannel, campfire, campfire, go! All right, so into Selcha, horse, cussin. Die hard too. Erno would be yours. Cheese, extra cheese, your words? Cheese.

Extra cheese. Warm, melted cheese. Yeah, the winner's soldier went to get pizza like an hour ago and he hasn't been back. Oh my God! Oh no! What have we done? No! So what did Susie do where she was able to stay underwater for two minutes,

whereas Kevin was able to only stay underwater for one minute when he jumped in the pool. Did she just pay an older kid $20 and say, don't let me up for two minutes? We're vibes me right when I come up. You're gonna, I'm gonna be dead and you're gonna wanna call 911. The hint is, and I've only mentioned it once in the wording,

but she used an old trick. She was able to stay under for two minutes using an old trick. She tricked him. How did she trick him? Oh, she said, I'm going to go under first, and then when he went under, she got back up. And when he started to come back up, she went back under. My sister used to do that to me all the time, but that's a great trick, but not the one she used here.

Oh, but that works though, right? That's a great trick. That's a good work. Here's another hint. Susie, after being underwater for two minutes, was dry as the desert, the sand kind, not the ice kind. Oh, she put it a cup of water over her head. Aaron, Bingo Bingo hauntata. Susie filled the cup with water

and stood under it for two minutes. All right, we'll explain that to his parents when he dies from holding his breath too long. Hey, if I were Kevin, I would say Suzy, that's not in the spirit of the competition. I want to say a scene. You should be ashamed of yourself. That's not the spirit of the competition. You get it. You're funny. Okay.

I want to see one finals scene. This is going to be very quick. Um, JPC, you are, uh, an Olympic swimmer who's, who cheats, um, and AaronPC you are an Olympic swimmer who cheats. And Aaron you are a a tether ball gold medalist who is now competing in the swimming events. I'm sorry, on Saturday, you kicked ass, you whipped ass. Hey, thanks. I've never seen someone compete in solo tether ball like that

and it's a truly an amazing sport. Hey, thank you. Good luck out there today. Yeah, you too. Hey, fat poker game, we all played last night. Mm-hmm. I know what that was.

Keep your voice down about that, because we're not supposed to be gambling, so just keep your voice down. Oh, okay. I noticed when I got up to leave that there were mirrors behind all of us except you You don't you don't have to talk to Seth about that. I think that that's his like fuck room. So I don't know Hey, he's the guy that was running the game big mustache Tiny tiny little hat. Okay, it just sort of felt like you could maybe see our cards Huh, well, I don't know how that would advantage me in poker.

But either way, wish you luck at there just so you know, I would love to know more about Seth because you did say he had a weird sex room, so I just have a couple questions for him. Would love if you pointed me in this direction, I want to make sure him and I connect. But also, I don't know. He is right over there.

Judge, center table. Oh, shit. Okay. Yeah., it's okay. Yeah. So here's the thing though, I bet you don't really want people to know that you cheated cards because that could make me imply you cheated swimming. So maybe you just give this old tether ball gal a win today and we just call it even. Wait, I'm sorry, are you trying to blackmail me?

You're trying to blackmail me, a person who cheats you. You're trying to blackmail,. You're trying to blackmail me. You're trying to blackmail with how you're saying that sentence. Oh, you're not wearing a wire in your little speeder, are you? Of course I'm wearing a wire in my little speeder. Why am I wearing a wired mind? I was standing. Aaron. I would love to see a tennis, a undercover tennis, a tennis, another cover swimmer with just wires to sticky out of that little speed on that they were I want to see a new show called underwater boss the boss of a big boss of a big corporation dresses up with fake fake beard in a wig and goes underwater. It's the hardest job to be the one to recover with

I'm crying already you just one of those fake recorder pens it's just the first question is like hey man what the fuck is that? What's on your what's on your, hey man, what the fuck is that? What's on your, what's on your speedo, man? What the fuck is that? There's literally nothing else for us to talk about, but whatever that is. JPC as our bronze medalist today,

is there anything you'd like to plug? You know, just the normal stuff. Go and follow me on twitch.tv slash sharkbarkman. Listen to Bill Buds pod on Twitter, I'm at JP Sofly. I actually connected with a person that had the at JPC and I was thinking about, and they were like, hey, yeah, you can have it. And I was thinking about switching my name on Twitter

to at JPC, I thought that would be cool. Twitter changed their rules a little while ago. So you can't have three letter names anymore. So if you have an existing name, you can't switch it to that. So yeah, so now I have that, but I can't switch it to that So sad I'm so sorry. Yeah, it's okay. So still at JP so fly. I like that one better anyway Aaron as our gold medalist is there anything that you hold on so I want to plug you Making yourself a gold medalist in a scene when you have the choice

Just put yourself first Sometimes who cares? I didn't harm anyone. No harm. I want to plug Wet Bus on Twitch. It's my impref team that I was with in Chicago for like seven years. We are doing a show every other Friday, but we also have lots of games and other fun stuff.

You should check all of them out. They're very, very funny. So Wet Bus on Twitch and then Aaron keep 10 on Instagram. If you want to give me any recommendations of places to get very cheap thrifted furniture and Los Angeles. Shoot me a message. Also, I'm so behind on my Instagram messages. You guys, I'm so sorry. I have like 250. I have to get to and I will. No, I just thought I've been drowning and I'm very sad and anxious. You get it. Okay, Adel, as our silver medalist,

no, I didn't place, I didn't place. You did place. You were technically the silver medalist in that scene. In the first time we did a scene. Well, that was just because I was drinking a course light. I have some things to do. Silver medal would be. I have some things to plug.

May, Saturday, May 22nd, I will be doing a improv workshop through Queen City improv. So if you just Google Queen City improv in my name, you can maybe find tickets for that. Also, I was recently a guest on how you been with Brett Demott hosted by John Mackie. So if you go over to his Twitch channel, you can watch that. That's twitch.tv backslash. It's John Mackie, J-O-N, is how John Spell's name. Let me see K-E-Y. So check that out as well. So fun. But he can't just have his first name be his Twitter name. No. J-P-C. So that's the best revenge for him having the same person. Yeah. The best revenge is living well, my friends.

Aaron, um, I don't know. Oh, by the way, you're gonna have so much fun on that show. It was like one of the most fun times I had last year. Oh, you mean I did have so much fun uh, this, oh by the way, you're gonna have so much fun on that show. It was like one of the most fun times I had. Oh, you mean I did have so much fun. You already, oh yeah, you have an, uh, okay. Well, no, Aaron. So this one, this episode, we're recording it in advance of what it comes out. So he has not done it yet, but he's going to, but I'm just saying it's very, very fun. I laughed so hard and it felt truly like doing a live show.

So I think you're going to really love it. Um, Aaron, I don't want to like, uh, this is it. Aaron, I don't wanna like, this is gonna be, I don't wanna be a dick, but like, I don't know if you know this, but deserts can be also in space. And so like sometimes, sometimes. Yeah, that's so interesting. Sometimes whole planets are deserts. I'm backing towards the door, but yeah, totally.

So like I don't know if you know it, but there is actually a planet that's a deserts, especially. Yeah, okay, I actually, our listeners, one of our listeners invented this planet, is Jupiter. Jupiter! PICK, TURN! Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- The editing, the arti-paradins and the music. The music. Photo created by M.O.E. Cardamus and M.O.E. The forest.

The music. The music. The music. The music. The music. The music. That was a headgun podcast.