Hey Riddle Riddle - #150: Spice Up Your Life

Episode Date: June 2, 2021

Hello! We are here to make your week more exciting with some SPICY listener submitted riddles! We hope it works! This episode has some guys on a ski lift ,an episode of football, and two moms at a terrible bar. We also have some bad date stories a spider trying to become a movie star! Drink some water and have a great rest of your week!#WiddleWednesdayStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. I'm not going to be your hit, hit, hit, hit, hit, hit, go! Well, this is, let's start. Yeah, well this is me too. So, um, cool, cool, cool. Hold on, hold on. Bye. No, no, no, no, we don't, first of all, Aaron, we don't get to start the episode of the episode.

We talked about this. We have to try to at least do an hour what we just did with his seconds. Well, this is me. It felt like an hour. Here's my train. So good at being you guys. Oh, yeah, this is my helicopters here.

What? This is the 150th episode of Hey, Real Real Real Real. This is the energy that you wanna bring in to episode 150? You're being around, no way, there's no- No, I'm sorry, my tone is strong. I agree with you guys. Yeah.

This is the energy that I wanna bring into our 150th episode. Well, this is my horse. You have a good night, everybody. She's a man. This is my oversized that I want to bring into our 150 episode. Well, this is my horse. Um, have a good night everybody. She's a man. This is my oversized walrus. She's a baby. You can't bring this horse on the train. Ha ha ha.

Walrus, man. You're all good. You're good to go. What if it's a train horse? What is the gift for 150th anniversary? I have to assume, I think 50s diamond, 75 is like, how are you still alive? I have a guess.

Platinum. What? 150 has to be new bones. At 150, if you're still rocking the old bones that you were born with, you gotta get new bones. But if I don't want new bones. You're telling me that you don't want new episodes with David Boretas and Emily Didch and El.

Yeah, you got it. You know what new bones? I got 10 seasons. I don't want new episodes with David Borie and Emily Did you know? Yeah, you got it. You know what new bones? I got ten seasons. I don't need more. I got more than I deserved ten seasons here. You need to study harder. Aaron, can I pause at this? Every kiss begins with bones. Bones.

Oh. Yeah, I'll have a ring made out of bones. Are you offering me? Adelaide, if your kiss is bones forward, I feel like you're kissing her off. Other things should be touching before bones are like, oh, sorry about that. I didn't mean for my kiss to be bones forward,

but I got excited. Y'all don't kiss teeth first. Whoopsie, that's your nose. Ladies don't like that. My, the wedding band, I think with men, they call it a wedding band, is that right? But it's a wedding band. Yes, a wedding ring.

But yes, I've been trying to be comfortable saying, but I feel like most people are like, you're wedding band and I'm like, no, that's a ring. The wedding ring Gemma got for me is, it sounds like you're wearing a very talented musician to are singing uptown funk to a group of middle age people at a wedding on your hand. The wedding band that Gemma got me is, aha.

That's so great. Yeah, cheaper than you'd think. She got me a wedding ring that's like the outside, the, it's outside, it's kind of aged bourbon, bourbon, would, and then the inlay is like elk bone. Oh cool. And then there's like silver around the elk bone. It's really cool. It's really beautiful.

That sounds like an item you'd get in D&D. Yes, it really is. Oh, absolutely. It looks like it too. It's very cool. Speaking of, I found this, I don't know why I found this online, but I found people that do recreations of the one ring from Lord of the Rings as wedding bands. And I said it to Mariah and I was like, just saying, I'm not pushing you to anything, but I'm just telling you, this is what I will be wearing. Like this post, if this is what you want me to wear.

I will, you could do whatever you want, but I will have one ring to bind them all. And the other thing, does it make you invisible? I hope so. Does it work? It makes you invisible to single women. That would be a great comment to see on people's weaving comets on that product.

Be like zero stars. Does it work completely visible? Try to rob a bank. A bunch of people on horses wearing blackclubs didn't try to kill me. Zero out of five stars. I've run into so many ring-races. The LVS description is on the outside of the ring. Zero out of ten. Because you're against a game with bones.

So you know what had been more on brand for us for a 150 episode? Oh, what's that? Is if we had just simply forgotten and didn't realize. Well, Aaron, we did. I mean, you mean you and I did no they don't know that well And hey and I I'm just guessing I have the way of knowing if it's our Think we'd make it this far be honest think about like the first seven episodes Everybody very honest when I when I first asked you to join this podcast and we went for dinner to discuss everything, I didn't think we'd make it past dinner.

I mean, hilariously that dinner started with us all showing up to dinner and Aaron and I being like, we ate before. Yeah, I was like, dinner's on me since I'm asking you to do this podcast. What do you guys want to get? I think I ordered food for myself, and then I think you two split nachos? Nachos, yeah, we split nachos.

And at the end of the meal, there's still like three-fourths of the nachos left. Those nachos were blessed nachos. Everyone's in a while, you got to play it a very blessed nachos. I think if you want to start a podcast, the number one advice I would give is to eat notches with your friends. Yeah. That's true. Can I also say, and this is something I thought about, because I see this all the time.

Hold on. Hold on. Okay. The floor recognizes the young governor from Indy Napolis. And if you just listen to this podcast for the first time, this is a Rital podcast. It's an error in GPC, we're the three hosts. Oh yeah! We're the three Rital's other show.

I think we did forget that part. But I see all the time, especially on Twitter, I think, mostly because that's where I see any interactions. People being like, oh, too many podcasts. We don't need another podcast. The world doesn't need another podcast. Here's what I will say about that. Yeah.

You shouldn't be going into any creative project thinking about like the marketing of that. You know, that to me feels weird. I feel like if you wanna do a podcast cause you have a fun idea for it, fuck and do it. And keep doing it till you're gonna have a good time with it. 100%.

I don't like when people say that because there's infinite amount of TV shows and songs and no one's like, don't write music. There's already enough music. You'd be like, what? Oh yeah, I've taught maybe four podcast workshops during quarantine like over Zoom with different theaters and stuff. And one of the number one pieces of advice I give at the top is

it is still a Wild West in podcasting, even though podcasting is like the butt of so many jokes and even though they're always like, oh, another podcast. One, they're still room for podcasts because a lot of podcasts, even though there's a ton of them, some of them aren't well done.

So it's like, even if you have an idea that's so similar to someone else, you might do it better. So like, please start a little podcast and do it better than we're doing, and that's great. And then two, it's not, it's not.

We will pay for your dinner. Yeah. If you do a not, it's not, we will pay for your dinner. Yeah. If you do a real podcast, better than us, we'll pay for your not just. Please pick up the check. That is our show guarantee. And then two, I think there's so much more value than listenership and advertising

that comes with a podcast in terms of having a creative outlet for yourself, and also a catalyst for spending quality time with friends and being and and creating joy and being creative. So I think I JPC, I think that's a wonderful point and I could not agree more. The thing, the other thing that I'll say, the other side of that coin is I also know people who do podcasts and sometimes they will say, not to me, but just like venting like this sucks, like no one's listening to my podcast. I don't like this. It's like, it's going poorly, no one's listening to my podcast. I don't like this, it's going poorly,

no one's listening to it. And I'm like, if you put all of your self worth involved in just what other people are thinking of you, your destined to fail, because nobody wins in that regard. Yeah, we forget people listen to this, and that's why we have to show that. Aaron, sometimes we forget to introduce the show. 6 or 7 minutes in.

But I think you do it because you like it. Do it because it gives you joy. Do it because it's fun. And that is, I think, on our 150th episode, GPCs Advice. And GPC, if I may, on the other side of that coin, it is a big eagle. There's a three-setting.

He's holding some branches in its talons. That's cool. Aaron, what were you gonna say? I was gonna say that when there was a Friday night when we recorded, I think episode five, six, seven, and it was like the first JP riddles thing, Adel talked about the sound that, what was it a rat made when it came between his flip-flop

and his foot? Yeah. We just did so many fun things. Yeah, that's the sound. And we did so many fun scenes and I left feeling like so good. I have a, I remember having a really hard week. I literally had an audition like right before that. That was in front of like one of those auditions that you had to do at IO where you had to do characters in front of people. And then also the people you're auditioning for. And I came from that and I was like, oh God, this is bad.

I'm having a hard week. And I left feeling like I was the happiest, greatest person in the world. Like do you know when you have that glow after you just have a really fun time with comedians? And I was like, wow, I really, really hope we keep doing this because I was only seeing you guys like once a week for world news and you two are so funny. So I just felt like the idea that we made it to 150, I'm very, very, very grateful and excited. Now, what Aaron's saying about that little spark

that she felt after episodes five, six, and seven, obviously, yes, we know. We haven't felt that spark in maybe 90 episodes. Yeah. But I implore you, keep listening. We might find it again. It could happen any episode now it could happen. And it did go back and relic it, right?

That's fun, relive the moment. That's fun. I just thought of something I want to do. This is to make 150 so special. Okay. Are you two on board? Yeah. No.

Here's what we're going to do. We're going to do the quickest Limericks. And we have to start with our own hometown. Or what we consider our hometown. So I'll go first. Bam. There once was a boy from Chicago who loved the movie Hustle Landflow. He drank drinks that were teaky.

His ass was so kinky. And now and ten months out of the year he's in snow. So that's my lemurk. Who would like to go next? Uh, James C. Wood. Okay, so this is going to be Chicago. Chicago, fuck you. Okay, I'll just do Chicago as well.

No, no, no, no, okay. There once was a boy from Nap Town. Who's, brothers, name is Jesse Brown. Wallace, dis about Aaron, whatever you're ready. There once was a girl from Boston. She's reading something. I looked up rhymes for Boston. Get the fuck out of here.

None of these kind of rhymes with Boston. It's a garden rhymes with Boston. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, but none of these kind of rhymes with Boston. Yeah, it's a garden rhymes with Boston. Maybe you have to do it in a Boston exit. Boston. Got it. Nope. There once was a girl from Boston. She went to the mall and was lost then. They put out an amber alert. She made a ton of certs and her fresh breath laid her, led her back to her rostin. Rooster. He did it. There was was a girl from Hangum. Her family so rich, you could blame him.

Not rich. She's just cashed checks because money's for sex. And when she, when she, what happened? And when she tries to wrap rhymes she sings them Oh, I got it. No, I'll make it easier. There was a girl from Massachusetts. There you go. She went to the She's She liked to do her podcast nothing rhymes with podcasts. Let's start the episode. I'm Aaron

Nothing rhymes with podcasts. Let's start the episode. I'm Aaron. I, uh, Aaron, you're old, you're old man riddles for this episode. I am. Yeah, and I'm really excited. I have some listener submitted riddles. It's going to be great.

Yum, yum, yum. I thought I would start with some honesty. I know that we are just your comedy riddle clowns, everybody. And we, I promise that we'll stay like that. People do not like it when we're human promise that we'll stay like that. People do not like it when we're human beings that often. So I promise I won't be a human being that often. But I'm feeling sad today. And I just want it, like I get a lot of messages of people being

like, how do you stay positive all the time? Or like be happy to do a comedy podcast all the time even when you're sad. So to all those people, I'm feeling sad sad today, and I'm still gonna do a great job, and it's still okay. So, that- And the answer to that question is, it's only for an hour. We- We can't be sad for the rest of the day. We have the rest of our lives to be sad.

For this one hour, we're gonna get it. I've never said it before in the show, and then I thought, you know what? They're gonna be okay. I think it helps people. If you're having a hard day today, I get it. Okay. Here we go. Aaron, Aaron, thank you for being open and honest and we love you.

Oh, thank you. That's my side of the coin. And I love you. JPC said that you will have money. Aaron, thank you for being open and honest. I love you. And I think it's my responsibility to fix you. So I've got 45 responsibility to fix you.

So, I've got 45 minutes to make you not sad forever. So I'm going to fix you permanently. So does that make sense? I have some WD40 and a Boston wrench. I love it. Ooh, a Boston wrench is a Chicago tool. A little tool, a Chicago tool. A Boston wrench is a Chicago hammer.

Okay, let's do this. Okay, please. Their initials are MW. So thank you MW for these riddles. Hey guys, these should be. Michael Warden. There you go. You can make up whatever you want.

Michael Weston, they used to be a spy, and now they're sending in riddles. Bern notice. Bern notice. Bern notice. Bones. What are some other shows? Suits. Go, JVN GO.

No, those are only three. Those are only three. Those are the only three. Bern notice, bones, and suits. The three genders. Bern notice, bones, and suits. And they make up the triangle. They make up the three corners that make up the triangle of Golden Television.

Uh-huh. I wonder where I fall on that. And the name of the burn-outer? Burner is supposed. And the Holy Suits. Now forever world without it, baby. Church is ruined. Church is ruined. Uh, those TV shows are ruined. What do you mean?

Okay. I want to get up on stage to do that like an old, like a 90 stand-up comic, a comic who's like doing like that very relatable voice, but with unrelatable topics. Okay, so everybody knows you're either a burn notice, a bones or a suit. Is anybody else here? $157 million in the lottery, just me?

You know when you're on your yacht and... You ever go out with a girl? And she's a suit, so then you realize, oh, she's just like my mother All right Hey guys, these should be quick and easy. Well easy at least Quick depends on how many scenes get called that's true. Okay. All right. That was true Fair all the answers are stupid puns and they're all something you might find in your spice cabinet

puns and they're all something you might find in your spice cabinet. Adelaissas, where are you? Well, they're all... This is where you shine, Adelaissas. Things that you might find in the spice section of a grocery store. Anyways, answers in. Whoa, are they saying that we don't spice our fucking food? Um, that's a good question. Because I'll let you know.

I found some coriander in there. What's that for? Ooh. Yeah, before you judge me coming to my world, let me spice up your life. Cheek a cheek. Ah. Yeah, we all have garlic in our pantries, impressed. Vampire spice, that's my one. That's my favorite spice girl, Vampire spice.

I love that band. Oh, Vampire spice weekend. Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby. Let's go some puns, baby. All right. What weather report makes us scare happy? Snow, snow news. What weather report makes snow news?

The snow fall. So the next thing you're gonna wanna do is see the meat with snow news. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Wow, I just talked to Big Game about having a bunch of spices in my cabinet and we thought snow news was the first answer. What, what, weather report makes a skier happy? Is that what it was?

Yeah. Um, okay so a powder, a powder, a pepper, a peppering, a peppering of, peppier, peppier and peppier. A peppering of r peppering of rica Um I honestly feel a lot better Wait, what all right hold on what is this it's snow news what's the answer what's the question? What's the question? Snow news is goodness. What weather report makes us hear happy?

It is gonna be so easy for someone to do a better video podcast that has holy shit. Okay. You got half of the word? Powder sugar? No. Powder's half of it? What makes it? Okay, so what's the bad thing when you look up a...

Cocaine, cocaine is a spice. No. When you look up a weather report when you're going skiing that weekend, not me, I could never can you imagine? I wouldn't be caught dead skiing. on let me bet you go quick no come on cartwheels down the slope that would hold more weight jbc if you didn't make that sound ever any time you pictured me doing anything alright so you're at home. You're watching a weather report. You're going skiing that we've got. Okay. What is like bad news? Like what would you be like? Oh, bad news.

Weather report would be a hail, sleet. No, the other end of that. Oh, like a three-man town. Is too hot. Yeah, too hot. So what would be good news? Cold powder. Something powder. Hot powder. Cold powder. Coyon powder. Chili powder. Yeah. Oh, oh, oh, I get what this is. I get what this is for the first time.

I would like to see a scene. Sure. You two are two guys, two friends, and you're, you've done a ski weekend, and you're stuck on the ski ski lift together and you're starting to just get a little cold. Woo, Jeremy, I gotta say this ski-end is, it's turning out to be a little bit more of a hassle than I thought it would be. Yeah, and I don't want to seem dramatic here, but if this lift doesn't start moving, I'm going to start skiing out.

Yeah, oh, oh yeah, I'm already skicking out. This sounds weird to say, but can I pour some of my thermos of soup into your mouth and then put my hands in your mouth just for like 30 seconds. And then you can spit the soup in my mouth and then put your hands in my mouth. That's the only way I found that we could maybe stay warm. You know, to be to be honest, that kind of sorry to be scottest to be scottest that kind of... Sorry, to be scornest?

To be scornest that kind of skinks me out? So maybe, maybe let's just hold on to the thermos. Oh, I'm scurry. I've scot, we were screns. What, hold on. We have a thermos full of hot soup, so that's the source of heat. I think what we should do is we should press that thermos to our scheme.

If we have any patches of exposed scheme, we could put that thermos on it and warm ourselves up. Great, great. Well I also brought some pizza and fries, pizza and fries, and I thought we could eat that to stay warm, but it's been in my pocket, so it's now frigid. So I think let's put the thermos against my skin, so I'll put it up again, right, shoulder, and you put it up against your left shoulder

and we'll kind of press into each other. Here we go. We're so stupid. I wish that our third friend, Martin SkiRelly, had come on this trip with us, but he was too busy doing his important work of hiking up AIDS medicine to an 800% profit, but he should be known for buying that Wu-Tang album.

Yes, it's now he's known for, I think, being in jail. Hey, if he's not, sure seems like the kind of place up person like that should be, huh? He got his scheme up and... See? scheme. I was just picturing everybody on either side of those two guys, being like, we've been up here six minutes. And they're already talking about putting soup at each other's mouths and then putting

hands inside that soup. Putting hands inside that soup. What does a bartender make to make women feel young? Tips. Um, Oregon. This one is pretty good. Tips. What?

Tips. Oh, I thought you said tips and I was like sure. Nothing makes a woman feel younger than calling her breast tits. Excuse me. Here's your dry martini and I made you these tits Oh I was working in the ball late one night We all the bartenders work for tits, okay, so be kind to your bartender What does a bartender make to make a woman feel young again? Is that what it was? Yeah, what does he do?

What does he do? And this could be, and this is a spice, right? The answer is a spice. Yeah. So it's like less of making a drink and more like before you make a drink. Oh, you're too big. You're too big now?

No. You're too big. I know. Oh, you're taking a no? Ragnar? No. Ragnar, no? What would you feel young? Let's see, something about, something about time. No. He splits time. He rose, Mary.

He rose, he gives her a rose, Mary's her all the time. Oh, this is all great. And that's sage advice. He gives her sage advice. That's really beautiful, not Good enough to be true. Oh, he invites her to his place and then when she knocks he goes cumin Just does he kind of like pepper up? You guys are burning through all the spices and that's pretty cool. That's pretty good

No, these are actually actually really excellent guesses. So That's pretty good. No, these are actually really excellent guesses. So a woman when she's like in a later stage of life could end here into this kind of... Here we go, another second word. Here and explains women to us. Oh, he menopause is, he's... I'm writing this stuff.

No, okay, yeah, write this stuff. Okay, so what's a thing that happens? Like, she can maybe have a different title now. Oh, Duke. No, well that's amazing. I guess I can't wait till I'm old enough to be a Duke. God, that's one of the actual glorious parts of ages. There's one day I'll be a Duke.

There's no good roles in Hollywood for Duke's. Does he look at her and say, damn! No. So it's a title that like a king would give. No, someone, no. Someone that you're related to calls you. Oh, would or. No.

Miss or misses. No. Ant cinemas. Someone who's related to you would call you? Grandma. Mum, mother, mom. Yeah, mom. So.

Card, card, a mom. Card, card, cards. Oh, card, your ID. He cards a mom this Aaron? That's maybe my favorite riddle we've ever had. It's really good. It's very good. These are like amazing Um, I would like to see a scene. Oh Adel you are a bartender and JPC and I are moms who are out on the town

having just a fun little ladies night. Go ahead. Great. Uh, hi ladies, welcome to, Oh, did you hear that ladies? Woo! Oh, oh, I'm sorry, is that the note? No, you're perfect, we're just, we're out in the town.

Oh, I thought you'd be so fast. I thought you'd be so fast. No, this is our first time out. No. No. Since having baby number two. No, this is our first time out. No. No. Since having baby number two for me, baby number three for her. Yes, it was really good.

Her baby number two is my baby number three. Yeah. Okay, well welcome to the loaded gun. Can I see your ID's please? Ah! Ah! That's not a cool. Okay, yes.

Here is my ID. Oh, I'm sorry, these are your driver's license. Can I see your NRA memberships? This is what is this this is a bar correct I'm sure what yeah, okay, we are we're from the suburbs. We packed our we packed our small Persis tonight and all we have is our IDs. Is that, is that okay or? In your purse do you happen to have an IUD? That's a little weird.

How much weird is it the good thing? Yeah. Almost. No, we don't really watch. I trust you too. It's a slow night anyway. So hop up on one of these AK-47s turned into a stool You're just gonna sit on the barrel of the gun there You kind of want to hover though Yeah, maybe we'll stay on yeah, I thought maybe you'd put a stool over that part. These are stools, huh?

These are what still okay? Yeah, I thought you maybe do a seat Okay, what do you said you've turned one into a stool? It doesn't really look like there was a lot of work done and we turned into department I thought you made me do a seat. Are you okay? What do you think you've turned one into a stool? It doesn't really look like there was a lot of work done and we turned into department. I'll take a seat. I'll take a seat. What now?

Anything that's four feet next to a bar is a stool. Okay. What can I... Ooh, okay, hover it down. What can I get you to? And also, here's our special menu right here. Oh, it's mostly guns. Yeah, so are all of these cocktails that are just named after guns?

There's no descriptions. It's just a list of guns. Well, some are what they say they are and some are drinks. Okay, I think we can tell by the prices. Yeah. So this one's $250, I think probably. Oh, okay, that's a cocktail. But it's made with saffron.

We also use Dan Acroids tequila. Oh, I'm sorry, Dan Acroids vodka. I'm sorry, Dan Acroids tequila. I'm sorry, Dan Acroids gun. You know what, it's really interesting. Cause I'm looking at this and under all the alcohol choices, it's saying like, please drink responsibly,

don't drink or drive. And under all the gun choices, it's saying like please drink responsibly, don't drink or drive. And under all the gun choices, it just says whatever. Yes, yes it says. Okay. Yeah. Okay. And I'll just have a martini, I guess I'll just have a martini. And it says it comes with Kalishnikolives.

Is that correct? Yes, we've got that. I don't know what is that? Is that a kind of all? They're all of us, but they are imported illegally from Russia. Okay. And I don't know what that would be illegal. I would like to leave, because I miss my kids in this place as a nightmare.

Oh, hold on, hold on. We have other things for sale. We do sale bullets, and they're called... Oh good, you read the situation correctly. They're call of duty free. They're call it duty free. Oh See Tom you idiot I know what'll get them. I'll try to sell in bullets that'll win them back

That's what their concern is What made me an uncle What made me is this another riddle or is this you asking? Itchovies. Ooh! Oh, this would be nephew. Nice. Oh, nice. Nice, nicey-nash. Nicey-nashy. You got it, your... Nice. What? A star, nice. Star, aise. That's right. Is that a spice? Nease is it just anise? Nease is part of it. It's anise. Anise is a spice. Yeah, I only know star anise But I assume anise is maybe a thing on it's own Yeah, I'm looking at the niece. What is this spice anise used for? It's's a flavoring agent which just sounds like a spice.

It tastes, yeah, I've had a lot of it. It tastes, at least star and he's tastes exactly like black licorice. Yeah, that's what it says. So I cannot say that black licorice is my least favorite flavor. Well, then you probably hate absent. Uh, absent? Yes, pretty rough. But I've tried it just to, just because I'm like, what's this?

And it did, it did nothing nothing it's good for you right or Something like absence makes absence this for you to Lucic track to Lucic track thrive because of it I tried absent at the violet hour in wicker park and it was disgusting Aaron you have one hipster bingo Aaron, you have one hipster bingo. Oh, no. That's outstanding. Yeah, Violet Hour is always behind a different mural. It's like a speakeasy and they repaint the mural all the time.

So it looks different. You can still find it. That's the place where like they kick you out if they see your phone, right? Is that right now? Oh, maybe. No, I don't think so. There's one bar over there in that area where if they see you where if they see you take out your phone, you get kicked out. Yeah.

I'm always getting kicked out of bars because I take out my phone. But in fairness, when I take out my phone, I'm also yelling, World Star! And throwing punches as well. In that order. In that order. Yeah, I'm starting the fights with me, yelling World Star, and throwing punches. I have to assume, and Aaron,

I cannot know for sure, but I have to assume if you had Absinth at a bar, a legal bar, that it did not contain wormwood, right? No, I don't think so. But it did glow. Ooh, so that was really cool. Yeah, I liked the ceremony of it. Like I liked watching him prepare it and watch him

talk about it. The people who worked there knew so much and it was like really interesting and my friends and I were like this is amazing. And but it did like take a little while and then later like maybe a year and a half later I went there at a first date and it was the date that the guy was just talking about all the hot sauce he loved. And'm not hot sauce. Oh wait, I love hot sauce. And then I said, and then I tried to say something about myself and he said, sorry, I wasn't finished. And then he kept talking about hot sauce. And sorry, this was a date, your first date with comedy being being host, hot sauce sermon?

Yeah. Yeah, I, yeah, he only talked about hot sauce. And then I was like, it was like early 2018. And I was like, oh, this is dating. This is internet dating. And he was like, should we try like the absent thing in me knowing how long that takes? I was like, no, I think I might be allergic to that.

Let's split one, let's split one, Madelo and call it a night. Speaking of calling it a night, we're gonna take a quick nap and a break and we'll be right back with more absinth. Hey GPC! Uh, uh, yeah? You're not in trouble.

I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Atal and I'm setting up a whole website to prank him. Um, and I just need help. I'm, um, pranking at all. And I'm setting up a website to bring him. Um, I just need to have advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stay in doubt and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website It engaged with your audience and so anything for products to cut into time all in one place all on your terms Hey, Edel come here come here. Hey, what's what's going on? I actually I want to prank

JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store, like it set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch, you can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand,

design your products and production, and inventory and shipping are handled for you, saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website,

not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my Prank website, the Prank site tool.

Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. Yeah, the website was for. Prank. With Squarespace. Yeah.

With Squarespace. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website Hey JPC hey JPC. What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine head to squarespace.com for a free trial And when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey, Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Hey, Adeland JPC. Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an empath. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, have there never truly is a middle of the woods? No, this is the middle.

Okay, this is it. Adel, can you help? Yeah, actually. So so as per Robert Frost I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s But it still stands true today more than ever Aaron you should try better help. Have you heard of this? You seen this Because sometimes Aaron in life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear Whether you're dealing with decisions around career, relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods,

therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow, sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Mm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years

and it suits the way that my brain works, way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about?

All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, a JPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Mmm, dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let therapy be your map with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today

to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp. H-E-L-P.com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the T- JPMC, I hope you get home. Bye. I am home.

Who are we? I clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I just want to make a quick toast to, uh, I know it's JPC's birthday. And we're all so excited to talk about him. But I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Money.

Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Mm-hmm. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, uh, uh, sorry, I also want to give a toast.

Rocket money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel, and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Clint, Clint, Clint. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks over three million. Oh, Clint, Clint, Clint. Over three million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rock. Stop.

Clint, Clint, stop, no, click, click, click, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwanted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rockatmoney.com slash riddle. That's rockatmoney.com slash riddle. Rockatmoney.com slash riddle,

and tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money, the website. I love you, Ruggamoney. Plank, plank, plank. Hey, Rittle, Rittle. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Wants a lot. Yes. Benevere. Nip. Well, I guess we can't call it a night. Because they're all right here. Benavir. Is that right?

I was trying to find a new way. It's a lot. What's the other night? Benavir. There's Sergeiwen, Sir Green Knight, Sir Arthur, Sir Lancelot, Sir Merlin. Sir Archimedes, Sir Merlin. Merlin's like, wow, how did Iermedes sir Merlin Where's it like? Ben of air Ben of air Ben of air Ben of air Ben of air Ben of air Ben of air

Yeah, sir Ben of air what were the nights of Cala Brothers Court ever like important to you guys growing up. I remember there's a time where I loved those stories Oh, because of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Sure. I was obsessed with the, what is it, Sword and Stone, the Disney movie? I was obsessed with that as a kid. And that's actually the fight scene between Merlin and I forget the witch's name, not Madame, Madame Mim.

That fight between Merlin and Madame Mim dictated so much of my personality as a kid. And it's actually the reason that, like, Chunt is a shape shifter in Magic Tavern, is because they kept shape-fipped, shifting into animals where it's like, he became an elephant, so she became a mouse, and then he became a crocodile to eat the mouse,

and she, you know, so that one scene in that movie has affected me in so many ways. So I was obsessed with Merlin Archimedes, Arthur and all that, but I didn't, I read the, what's the, there's a story that's like, is it the Green Knight or is it, I'm sure there's a bunch of stories, but some of those stories are fantastic, but I think they're a little long-winded, so I haven't read them all. Would you say, Adel, that is your hot sauce? That's my hot sauce. Knights of the Round Table are my hot sauce.

The guy that they never thought I'd talk about this. The guy that they never thought I'd talk about this. Oh, have a good night. Oh, thanks for meeting me on the States. Ooh, this booth. Could we get a different table, maybe, a more circular? I would love it. So I do comedy in the city.

Oh, cool, cool. Yeah, and I've been here since like 2014. So Abelan is seemingly buried. Wait, were you there? I was exactly, I will win. I would love at the end of the day Aaron, if you were like, okay, well have a good night. And he was like, uh, actually wasn't done talking

about hot sauce. It literally, we were like, he was like, let's go across the street to Big Star Taco. So we said let's go. And I was like, oh's go across the street to Big Star Taco. We said let's go. We're talking and I was like, oh God, there's gonna be hot sauce there. Oh my God. Yeah, at the end of the date.

Da, da, da, da, da. You can't take that guy anywhere one of his hot sauce triggers is likely because he will just go off about hot sauce. Yeah, can't take him to Louisiana. Can't take him anywhere there's crystals. I wouldn't have mind if we talked about hot sauce for 20 minutes. I like hot take them anywhere. There's crystals. I wouldn't mind if we talked about hot sauce for 20 minutes. I like hot sauce. That's kind of cool. If that's like a new

hobby of yours, you have to let me speak on the date. How would you know? Like me. Alright, Aaron, I'm going to go a little pissed off for you now because you're one of these women who says that they like hot sauce, but me being a hot sauce fanatic, I'm going to quiz you now on hot sauce to just see how much you actually Okay, and just for listeners Aaron is taking out her purse It says Hillary Rodham Clinton on it and she's taking out some hot sauce. She proved it This guy this is one of my new favorite guys that don't actually exist But it's just this one like this type of guy who is just this one weird guy where he starts talking about hot sauce You're like oh, I like hot sauce dude and he goes no you fucking dope you just fucking dope you must

be confused you must be confused that is so common that happens constantly all the time oh fuck it's so funny well let's get to some riddles it okay great what did the astronauts say as they watched a black hole destroy their home? Oh god no! My life! My daughters! My dogs! My collection of vintage porn! And that the women are old. Born as new, women are old. Sorry, the dukes are old. Aaron, you said what did the astronauts say as they watched the black hole eat their, consume their home?

Destroy their home. Destroy their home. All spice. I read that riddle. And Christopher Nolan was like, yes, a screenplay. Oh, oh, oh, mega no. Omega no. Okay, so it oh, Megan O. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh a man absence absence. Oh, Bay Bay Leaf Bay.

Is the word black in there? Is it like black pepper or? No, and this is that's a good question. So it's not. Yeah, so I they're part of this is a word for earth. And the earth is no longer there. It's... Terragon. Yep. Terragon.

Okay, yeah, I make that make sense, yeah. That's the harder one to get, I think. An astronaut would call earth terror, because it's, is it, is it? Is it, is it? Yeah, terror firmet. I'm with Latin, I believe. So, yeah.

I wish, full stop,dle dead stop on myself. I wish to God, I hadn't said it's Latin, I think, cause if it's not, I'm going to get flooded, inundated. Inundated even, oh thank God. So it would have been cooler if he said it's Latin. Hahaha. Casey, cut out me being terrified for my social media life.

Hey, Addle, just do a couple reads of it's Latin and then we can drop it in, go ahead. Yeah, some drop ins. It's Latin. Sorry, just lighting my pipe. It's Latin. That was a bubble pipe. Actually, Aaron, NJPC, it's Latin.

Okay, perfect, we're gonna use that for something else. Yeah, hey riddle this. That's for a separate project that we're writing. Adel, did you say that you would like to see a scene? I would like to see a scene. Aaron, you are a detective and you are a pet detective and you are investigating a missing cat. JPC, you are the owner of Tara the cat and you are so flustered and so distraught that you can only speak in sentences that mimic phrases like Tara gone. Wait. The phrase Tara gone. Okay, got it. So if you're cat's name Tara and you're like Tara gone. So it's almost like like Georgia, the jungle speaker something got it got it got it Sir you called me Tara gone

Yeah, calm down you're acting hysterical. Let me pop in here and whoa I'm seeing all sorts of clues now once you compose yourself tell me the last time you saw your little kitty cat. Cat morning. Dear God! And now I'm trying to figure out what that means. Do you mean you're mourning the loss of your cat? Oh, or did you last see your cat this morning? Wait, don't tell me. Let's see, I saw you were listening to wait wait, don't tell me on your phone this morning that My memory serves me right there. Yes Are yes, all right sir. Just relax calm down men are so emotional and hysterical

Unbelievable. All right. Let's see. I see this a window is open in very interesting Fine left. I see this, a window was open and very interesting. Fine. My left eye see. Fine kitty. Yes, fine kitty. Food is untouched, which can only mean one thing. The cat heard you listening to, wait, wait, don't tell me. It was frustrated. It wasn't getting enough of the ant is right.

It jumped out the window. It didn't need its food in. Oh, nope, I see your cat and it is dead in your closet. Oh. I'm going to just draw with chalk. Outline the dead cat. And no, it's sleeping. The cat is sleeping in your closet. I'm gonna just draw with chalk, outline the dead cat, and know it's sleeping. The cat is sleeping in your closet. Another day, another dollar,

I'm me, lady detective, who acts like a man. Bye! I'm seeing. I love it if you say. I love it if you say, the cat is dead. Let me draw with chalk here, and you just write dead. The dead cat. I just drew dead cat.

I just chalked on your wall. I love, let me take a look in here. Oh, all kinds of clues in here. So anyway. All kinds of clues in here. All kinds of clues. That was another great one. Tarragon is fantastic. I would also say these are like less than common spices.

We're doing some deep cuts in the spice cabinet. Oh yeah. oh yeah. This one's tricky. Eric, so they've all been tricky. I feel tricky. I feel tricky. Ooh. Why did Lerman have to take some time off

from directing Mulan Rouge? So, uh, Bay, Bay, so it's gotta be Basel. Yeah, you got it. His name is Boslerman and it's a Bosl, it's ill means to be sick. Bay, Bay, so. Yeah, you got it. I thought that would be trickier than it was.

Basel, I guess, I guess he pronounces it Basel. I love Mulanridge. Isn't Basel, isn't that the boss innocent powers? Basel, baby. I think do, do Brits say Basel? They might say Basel. Basel, do Brits say Buzl? They might say Buzl. They say Basil.

I guess they say Basil and Buzl and Purs. Nicole Kidman in that movie was like, I was so enamored by her growing up. I was like, I want to be her. And Austin Powers? Yeah, of course. And I wanted to be John Lake was on that movie, just a wacky nightmare. I think I said this, but I saw Moon on Rouge on Broadway and it was the worst thing I've ever seen.

Brett Lyons got me tickets to the Pretty Woman musical and I took a Mariah there on our, it was an early date, maybe even our first date and afterwards I went to Brett and I said, hey man, are you fucking kidding me? Oh my God. I guess, I guess thanks for the tickets. I saw that and my friend got me tickets because he was the lead in that. Yes, in it.

But Sadia was obsessed with Mulan Rouge. So that is weirdly in, I'd say the top five movies that I've seen the most. I've probably seen that movie 12 to 15 times just because Sadia would watch it ad nauseam. And then also she would play the Romeo and Juliet soundtrack for her Romeo plus Juliet. Romeo plus Juliet.

Romeo and Juliet. The whole tragedy. And I think, I don't know for certain, I can't remember exactly, but I think that's where I first heard radio head and that's what got me into radio head. That soundtrack is really good. I cannot say for certain, but I think the Romeo plus Juliet soundtrack is where

I first heard a children's choir do princes, uh, when doves cry. I believe that's why I first heard. No, no, no, everybody. You sure it wasn't the local park? It could have been, it could have been, um, I used to be a big football guy. So it could have been, um, could have been like an episode of football Yeah, that our church I was gonna say Monday night football But I panicked for a second. I was like is it Monday nights football or is footballs on Sunday right? You can go ahead and mail me golf balls directly to my head

football and you can go ahead and you can go ahead and mail me golf balls directly to my head because football that's a Dada Dada Dada Dada Dada Dada Dada What was the thing when Jim and Pam kissed? Was that the office or was that an episode of football? Football is the longest running television series. It was Jimic Man and an episode of football done in Pam L.A. What was that thing everyone got hurt and weren't paid enough for the amount of brain injuries they were getting.

Bones, spider-brain, tear off the dog. Zoot. Spider-brain, tear off the dog. Truly, they got hurt and weren't paid enough. Yeah. Okay, last one. Let's do some more of these spittles. Last one, what do these answers have in common?

All spices. All spices, yes. You ever lost them, weren't they Yes. Yeah. They were phenomenal. So MW please write us some more. We're begging you. You were great. We loved you. You're possibly from England with that whole bozzle thing. So possible docs or his name could be pronounced bozzler, uh, base lerman. You think his name is Bayes Lerman? I think it's Bos but again, it's bass.

That's what I thought, but I never want to speak with authority because, um, I'm, I'm so fragile. All right. I have a little bit more listener submitted riddles. Just three more. Ooh. All right. These are from David who said I can read brag his name on air. Ooh. All right, these are from David who said I can read

his name on air. Oh. Hi, y'all. I recently discovered your podcast and have enjoyed listening to it while I invent planets at work. Fun little callback. I have listened to about 50 episodes in the past month,

including the newer ones. My descent into madness is nearly complete. We are so sorry. Okay. We're sorry. Through your efforts, my descent into madness is nearly complete. We are so sorry. Okay. We're sorry. Through your efforts, my wife and I became inspired to write our own riddles. Here are three of them,

along with some clues and answers. So, Adel, you are correct though. A lot of millennials nowadays, they're not having kids, what they're doing is they're writing riddles with their partner. And that, they hope it to be their legacy. And they have a riddle,

they have a solution reveal party, right? Uh-huh, yep. And rich people are scared and angry because they go, you can't put riddles into a workforce. Who's gonna be the poor people in 25 years? These people, they're not buying homes, they're eating their avocado toast and they're espresso's and they're making riddles.

They're killing people with icicles and they're riding on horses and they're Friday. Who names a horse Friday? Gen answers. Unbelievable. Okay. First one. I serve a mighty queen of old. On beaten wing, leave and return. If you try to steal my gold, then you will feel my burn. I have to be 100% honest with you too. All my brain is doing is cycling through spices. Okay, let me picture you cycling through spices. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, Aaron, this has to be some sort of dragon, right? They're like, they've got beaten wings, they're serving old queen, they're lying on treasure. Oh, server, server dammit.

No. No queen, RuPaul. No. He's young. What are you fracking? Uh, burn RuPaul. Okay, so. I serve a mighty queen of old. On beaten wing, leave and return. If you try and steal my gold, then you will feel my burn. This is an excellent riddle.

David and his wife are very good at riding riddles, by riddles. They're a good match for each other, because they ride good riddles, by good riddles. Unfortunately, they have bad communication. So they're great. Will not last. I serve.

I serve a queen of old. So as we all know from Roman Juliet the oldest queen is queen mob Uh, who's a spider queen? Spider queen What's the spider in lower the rings? At all she lobbing. I'll help you. I'll help you I don't need to say that she's going Oh baby when she love she love so a queen of old your clothes Baby when she love, she love. So a queen of old. You're close.

With one. Keep going in that song. Me or JPC? Oh, she bangs? No, keep going in that song. She bangs. She looks like a spider, but she's thinking like a queen. You got it.

A queen bee. It's a bee. Gold is honey. Wow, Addle. I'm so sorry because you're fucking random as word association game almost got you the answer and I cut you off saying it certainly kept. I've, GPC have told you a million times when I start sputtering nonsense for three hours,

let me finish because I'm getting to the point. He's like Sherlock Holmes, he is except maybe his hit rate is like 1%. I want to say it's the same concept. Can I quickly read the Clues and then the answer. Yes, the answer is an animal insects are animals you fucking radiance Of the queen in the answer is a bee queen bees are larger live much longer than regular bees The wing part is obvious the gold is honey and the burn is a sting Who's nice? That's a great one. I want to see a scene. Aaron, you're going to be the Giant Spider She-Lob.

I'm sorry, you're going to be a Giant Spider auditioning to play She-Lob. JPC, you're going to be a casting agent representing Peter Jackson and Pippa? No, what's her name? What's his wife's name? Pippie Longstocking. Pippie Longstocking.

Hi, my name is Webb, and I am auditioning today. So nice to meet you. Thank you so much for seeing me today. Thank you so much, Webb. We're a pleasure to have you here and whenever you're ready. Sure. No hard feelings about not getting cast is the big spider in the Harry Potter movies.

There's only a couple roles for big spiders in Hollywood. Well, it's, it's, that's not all production company, so it's completely separate company and we're all everyone here in the room is rooting for you today. Well, okay, I see. Whatever you're ready. Why are you here? I don't like it that you're here. It's me. And I can't take. I can make you a creepy frowdo. Or a web, we love that. We did everyone in the room loves it. We all want you to succeed here.

Sorry, I just want to pipe in real quick. Yes, to say I also loved it. My name is Fran Walsh, and I just wanted to scream that alone because I just remembered my own name and I'm very important to this movie So I deserve credit my name is Fran Walsh. Good bye. So Fran does that well once every couple of minutes So you'll have to bear with Fran and go ahead web. We love what you're doing Please just feel free to read the dialogue from the movie that we've prepared for the audition. Oh yeah, I know it says here that you're a giant spider,

one of your qualities is improvisation. Yes. We won't need that for today, but we love that you have it. So one of my special skills, okay, ready? You're in Australia, we call those qualifications. Great. Qualities, we call them qualities.

I think, okay. Ah, I'm a big spider. you're not supposed to be here. Gollum tricks you didn't he? Frank, Frank. Yep. Frank, can you read for Frodo here? Yes of course. Well actually do you mind if I read for Samwise? Please. Yes. I'll read for Frodo if it comes up.

Oh no, oh no, Mr. Frollo, the young Spider. I'm gonna kill you second. First I eat the Frodo one. You know what, I don't need this. I don't need this, I'm done, I'm out. It's between me and Julia Roberts for Eat Pray Love. So you know what, that's probably gonna work out, I don't need this. I don't know.

Eat Pray Love is about a spider. Why? No, it's about a woman. You I don't need this. I already know. Well, you pray love is about a spider. Why? No, it's about a woman. You think spiders can't be women who go through divorces? Oh, I thought, P-R-E-Y. Why? Why? That passion that you just showed right there is exactly what we're looking for. I would like to tell you, off of you, it's between you and Julia Roberts,

on the spot, the part of Sheila, but if you'll take it. I'm sorry, I've been in the back of the room. Do youbit if you'll take it. I'm sorry I I've been in the back of the room. Do you mind if I re-audition? It's me Julia Roberts I'm sorry Julia. Yeah, you fucking chance and you blew it. Oh man, let me give you just one line, okay? I've got webs you've never seen. Oh, no. I lost another part to Julia Roberts another part of Julia Roberts. Seen. For Webb. Webb is up for all the parts.

That she was up for Julia Roberts' Parton Valentine's Day. She was up for Julia Roberts' Parton Pretty Woman. Aaron, we're gonna see the quickest of scenes. Well, hold on, I was just saying that I do know what people reached to me to tell me that my Australian accent was bad, but that was the best I've ever done it. So feel free to reach out to me to tell me that that was the best I've ever done it. Now, does that mean it wasn't very good? Sure, but that was the best I've ever done it. So feel free to reach out to me to tell me that that was the best I've ever done it.

Now, does that mean it wasn't very good? Sure, but it was the best I've ever done it. So if you need to think of something nice to say today, maybe you could try that. Wait, we can ask for compliments? You have to, or else you'll never get them. Here's my impression. This is one line of Ray Romano

from his new sitcom featuring a spider. Okay. Where bro? Okay, Adel, you... I'm writing you a chat for $600 million. I love you. Have fun. Go live your life. You can retire. Okay, I'm going to get through the second two riddles quickly because I just want to read them both. Okay, please

Do you want us to try an answer between them? Yes With help of Gaia's breath I saw above the source from which life flows should my heart and body wound I'll fall into the dark below So Gaia of course is whoopee Goldberg from Captain Planet. Yes So I have to assume the answer is making whoopi. No. With how much guys for that store? With the source to which life flows at the ocean?

Or the ocean? Yeah. Above the source from which life flows. Should my heart and body wound I'll fall into the dark below. That would be a cloud, which are going to rain or sleep like weather. Is it like... Aaron, you're giving us nothing. We're dripping with rain or sleep like weather.

Is it like, air, you're giving us nothing. Well, you're giving me none of the right answers. I'm gonna give you the clues. Moisture, condensation, or whatever. The thing, this thing, because it's a thing, has been used since prehistory. And then the second clue is. You can soak your pregnant from prehistory.

Yes. At least one of you has been in one, which is my favorite clue for any riddle we've ever gotten. It's so funny and so true. At least one of you has been in one. A woman? A boat? Oh my god. A woman's boat? Not Penny's boat? Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. These are some of my existence. This is a prehistory. Aaron's crying blood. Oh my god. Oh my God. These are, these are my God. This is a prehistory. Aaron's crying blood. Oh my God, oh my God. You got it. It's a boat.

It's not a woman. Oh my God. It's a sailboat. It's a sailboat. It's a sailboat. It's a sailboat. It's a sailboat. It's a sailboat.

That's awesome. That is so funny to assume that is our vibe is maybe one of us has been in a sailboat. Have you guys been in a sailboat? Never a sailboat. Yeah, I've never, I've been in plenty of boats, been in a sailboat. Have you guys been in a sailboat? Never a sailboat. Yeah, I've never, I've been in plenty of boats, but not a sailboat. Well, this is hilarious.

I have been in one. A couple of times. Yeah, so they are right. Good read, good read on us. All right, that is amazing. Okay. Last one. I hurt you before I help you.

I travel in cold and dark. I have no knowledge yet. I teach you. Often twice I make my mark. JPC. Often twice I make my mark. I gotta say, is this... Zorro? Well, I was gonna say... Pause, pause. Mark Walberg. Zorro? It's Mark Walberg. Mark, pause, pause. Mark Wahlberg. So, I was gonna say, pause, pause. Mark Wahlberg. It's not Mark Wahlberg.

I make Mark Mark Mark. Yeah. Oh, that's actually a phenomenon. It makes it Mark twice. All right, you know what, let's just have that be the answer. Oh, can someone send a bunch of riddles and all the answers are Mark Wahlberg. And I promise I'll sprinkle those riddles

throughout every episode I do from now on. I know it's not typically considered this, but I think Marky Mark aka Mark Wahlberg has the best cover song of all time in which he covers Beach Boys, Good Vibrations. Got those good vibrations. Come on, come on. It's a, it's a bold cover. It's a bold cover. I just want someone, I, I, I need to learn GarageBand so I can insert into pet sounds Marky mark everyone's while just going come on come on feel it feel it. Are you a Not like that is a good use of your time. Okay. I just I all of a sudden knew what song I'm going to be listening to while I do

She was a little old lady from passadena come on give birth walking down the aisle any big moments death of a death of a loved one death of a salesman death of a salesman I had this conversation the other day if you were to be buried and you're to be lowered in your grave what would be the funniest song uh... to play while you're lowered uh... i feel a little bit sad and then then get it on get it on Cause tonight is the night when to become one

Get low get low get low get low. It was amazing because you're going into the ground Get low works really well. Drop it like a Todd drop it like a Todd From the windows to the lounge I Would do that that like I'm waking up to ash it does I wet my brow and a sweat buzzers that that radioactive radioactive she left me roses by the stairs surprises let me know she cares well if anyone has a good answer for that please treat it at me because it makes me laugh. Come on Barbie, let's go party. Oh yeah.

Hi, Barbie. Hi, Ken. Can you try this for me? Hi, you can go for this. Hi, Barbie. Hi, Ken. You want to go for a ride? Sure, Ken.

Jump in. I'm a Barbie girl. Ken and Barbie were all my loved ones are crying. I like your version better, which is, Hi, Ken. Hi, Barbie. Hi, can. Hi, Bobby. Hi, Bobby. Hi, Ken.

You still smoking? Yeah. You want to go for a ride? Joking. Jump in. Duke can, Duke Barbie, I'm sorry. Do you see what we're saying? Can you give the riddle one more time, Aaron?

Yes. I hurt you before I help you. I travel in cold and dark. I have no knowledge yet I teach you often twice. I make my mark. It's an excellent riddle. Is it a subject to be read the the clues? This is a very topical riddle Okay, your body can be taught as well as your mind. Oh, this is a vaccine. Yep Well, depending on Johnson and Johnson or Pfizer or...

You can get that one twice. You just have to change your name and come in with a big mustache. Did you get Pfizer or menorah? Because menorah is insane because it's 12 crazy shots. Okay, okay. Um, give me that check back, please. No, I already cashed in about it. Well, Aaron, thank you so much.

That was, and thank you everyone who submitted riddles. These were truly some of the best riddles we've ever done. I thought so too. I read these and I went, I don't think there was a bad riddle in the bunch today. So get off my dick about there being bad riddles all the time. Speaking of getting off your dick, Aaron, is there anything you would like to plug? I would plug just drinking water. Sit on your couch and stare off into space and just drink some water. And I think we're going to be okay. I don't know. Maybe.

GBC, anything to plug? I will just say that you can follow me on twitch twitch.tv slash sharkark, Barkman. Also, you can listen to the Billbuds podcast. As of the time where this comes out, we have just wrapped up discussing Taylor Swift's re-release of Fearless, Fearless Taylor's version. Hell yeah. Blair in that with the house.

Addle, anything that you would like to plug? Let me think here. I'm really enjoying, I really enjoyed invincible. I think that was on prime. Amazon, Amazon, yeah. Amazon Prime was very good. And I'm also enjoying a mayor of, a mayor of mayor of East.

That one I can't help you with. I don't know what that is. I finally started watching Ted Lasso per your request in it. Oh, Ted Lasso. He was a member of the season. And we're getting close to season two, yeah. Yeah, it comes out in July. I think it's Ted Lasso per your request. Oh, Ted Lasso. He's a member of the season. Yeah, it comes out in July. I think it's, Ted Lasso season two comes up

the same day, the Olympics start. So that'll do. I can't wait for the Olympics. Well, Aaron, I know that there's a lot of betting going on, a lot of sort of online betting happening with sports and specifically with the Olympics. And you have put thousands of dollars into the country you think is going to win the most gold medals

And that country I can't remember what they're called there. It's a smaller country. It is Canada? No, that's not it. Oh Jupiter! Bye forever Aaron Keaton, and John Patrick Cullen, Casey Tone to the editing, and Aaron Keaton to the I don't think I've ever heard that date story. That's unbelievable. It's ridiculous. That's one of my favorites. Was it an improviser? No, no, no. This was like when I was going on internet dates from coffee meets bagel.

It was that guy, and then in the same week, it was the guy who quizzed me on all the state capitals in the same week. And I was like, I don't think I wanna be in love. Just because I don't know Mount Plier, I don't wanna have sex. But that guy only talked about hot sauce, it was insane. That's, I think that that guy's probably got some sort of big, comical wheel in his apartment

that before he leaves, he spins and whatever lands on, it's like, that's my personality for the day so it's like my personality for today is hot sauce yesterday it was doves I had to speak about doves for a long time you know what kind of piss to be off though he never texted me or called me after that date and I was like oh you didn't have a good time that's my that's my move to make sir sir. Hey there, compound words. If you like that, you're going to love this week's Patreon. JPC does four episodes and one with four brand new games.

You can listen to all that plus our entire Batcadilog at patreon.com-havrital-rital by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or the review crew for $8 a month. See you then! a month. See you then!