Hey Riddle Riddle - #153: Welcome to Jamba Juice

Episode Date: June 23, 2021

We don’t have time for anecdotes about peanut butter-we have listener submitted riddles today! Brace for our British accents because we’ve got two people storming a castle and a British frat in this episode! But for getting through that we give you a lil treat-The Lorax is back! Someone give us a count on how many times we WELCOMED YOU TO JAMBA JUICE. Have a great week!#WiddleWednesdayStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Sam fingers into crotch oh Slam figures into crotch Aaron we decided we decided we're gonna shoot you in a space Oh, and you're a mom now. Mm-hmm. Oh, alright. Congratulations. Okay. And we wrote an original song to commemorate it. Uh-huh. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to be out of orf I.

I refuse to be JPC. And I'll be in but only for now. Say it. Say it. Say it. Yes. Alright, so I went and they don't have any And you went to you went to mine a key for ice cream and they were at yeah, yeah, and that weird Try Jeffy Loupe We're a real we are a

Riddle podcast and We're gonna be trying to solve some lateral thinking problems some some puzzles, some riddles, some who-done-its, some thinkers, and some funkers. And we're gonna be doing some improbable on the way if this is your first time. Take a seat. Your mom and I are getting a divorce. Uh-oh. Uh, JPC, are you cool? Are you good?

What'd you say? JPC, are you cool? Are you good? Are you doing okay? Um, well, what do I not know? Here, what's happening? Hey, Maddle, are you cool? Are you good? Are you doing okay? Um... Well, what do I not know? Here, what's that? Addle, are you cool? Are you good? Are you doing okay?

Thank you, quick check. Fingers, check. Toes, awful. Addle, you seem like you're doing great. I'm doing great. Let's do some riddles. Wait, what is happening? Am I? Is this... No, we're not gonna fuck around for 16 minutes today. We're just gonna get rid of it. Why not? You just woke up from a semicolonoscopy.

I have a run on a colon. All right, we're not gonna fuck around. What are we gonna do? We're gonna do some riddles. Oh, okay. We're just gonna do riddles like that? Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. I'm trying to mix things up, shock the system.

Our first riddles, how will people know if I've tried a new peanut butter this week or something? No one's gonna fucking know. JPC maybe tried a new peanut butter. Addle's watching this new TV show. He's really enjoying it. Aaron.

It's called porn. It's great. Aaron cried and made butter noodles. Nobody cares, let's do some riddles. Okay. Our first riddles come from Sam Bomb. Thank you, Sam, for sending some riddles. Okay. Okay. Yeah. I got first riddles come from Sam bomb Thank you Sam for sending these riddles Sam says I wrote some riddles for my mom's fifth grade class And I thought

They might be good for some easy warming up. I know JPC is a fan of rhyming riddles So I hope he enjoys these wait here nice We're not even gonna like rip on their name. Their name is Sam Mom. We're bomb. Can I make a bomb? As in bomb.com? Yeah, we're not even gonna make any sort of jokes. We're just gonna do riddles.

Are you okay? Seems like this is really surprising you guys. Huh? I mean, but I thought to talk about our week and bullshit and start rules at like minute 28 right before the break. I'm quite small. Somebody set us up the same or like it references from like 15 years ago. I'm quite small. I am body all. I can fit in and am your palm.

But please do be careful with me for when I split I become a bomb. Aaron. Have you learned to do this yet? From that thing I got you? No, I am bad. I am. This is the bullshit we're trying to avoid. We're trying to avoid this bullshit. Okay, so something, something body-audi-audi, something splits, whatever.

I am quite small, I am body-all. I can fit in and am your palm. But please do be careful with me for when I split, I become a bomb. Okay, so a coconut? I know the answer is, okay, Adel, I gotta see a scene. I gotta see a scene. In this scene, you and Aaron are both gonna be members

of the Elite Bomb Squad. You have been sent to dispatch and destroy a bomb that is going off. Adel, you have found a coconut and you destroy a bond that is going off. Adel, you have found a coconut and you're convinced that that is the bomb. Aaron, you definitely want to keep looking because you don't quite think that that is the bomb. Oh man, I can't believe this is my last day on the job until I retire with my beautiful wife and children. I hope nothing bad happens to me. You're 32. You're a firing?

What is your side hustle? Teach me the secret. Hope nothing bad happens to me. You're 32, you're a hiring? Okay. What is your side hustle? Teach me the secret. I got a little Etsy shop, but I've been working since I was like 15. Been pretty smart financially. I almost die every day. I'm 47 and I'm missing almost all my fingers.

Yeah, I mean, I hope nothing bad happens if you are today. Wait. wait, you see it okay, stop be careful. Oh my god look at it. Oh My god look at it. It's covered in like a hair. It's like a fiber. Oh Bommakers are getting so smart. It looks like a coconut drink. I can see a little crazy straw coming out of it Little pineapple on the side. Oh, yeah, that's the fuse crazy straw That's the fuse look hey welcome to John was you's how can I help you? Hold on stop stop You have a bomb on the counter now let me

This neon green fuse it starts and has some crimson Sir, sir please don't reach for it. Please don't reach over the plastic shield the plastic shield is there for your protection Sir have you ever seen hurt locker? Catherine Bigelow sir. Catherine Bigelow sir. Uh, Jeremy, British problematic. I avoid all of his work. Catherine Bigelow, take a step back. I know it's like a woman director. Obviously, I want to support that, but Jeremy Rinner and it's just like I feel conflicted. I've never seen the movie. I've never seen the movie.

Okay, I'm gonna put- She was married to what's his name, Avatar Bitch. James Cameron, James Cameron. Yep, Avatar Bitch. I'm gonna put my lips on the fuse here and I'm gonna suck out the bomb juice, okay? Now as I suck out- But what about your family? I told you, I got divorced. Oh shit, okay, then you can, you're right, go ahead.

Because I can't- Oh gross. No, we're just gonna beat that up. I tried to- Guys, Adel said something disgusting. We're gonna just. I tried to. This is all beeped out.

This is all beeped out. Okay, let me. It's all beeped out. Oh, sir, I have to charge you for that now. I mean, I have, you just, that first saving your life. You just saved your freaking life. This happens all the time. Oh, the bomb has a little umbrella.

C'mOOM! See. Okay, new rule today. Everyone in every scene we do, someone has to do a walk on and say, hi, welcome to Jamba Juice, how can I help you? And every scene. Every scene today, someone has to say hi, welcome to Jamba Juice. Also, Aaron, you should open up a flower arrangement store called CABOOM.

Oh. Wow. Oh, God. And it's flower arrangement store called Ka-bloom. Oh! Wow. Oh, god. And it's just like, it's just flower explosions. That's a cool motif. I love it. I love it.

Okay. What's the answer? And that's one of my favorite rappers is cool motif. I was going to say that's one of my favorite rappers, cool motif. At all. Aaron, James the Iron is the same person. Get no more bullshit. No bullshit today. Are you promise?

No bullshit. Focus. What's the answer to this riddle? Boys. I am a poem. I know the answer, Aaron. And so I- I'll be with it.

No. I got stuff I want to get to. I just want to get rid of it. Adam? Yeah, it's an Adam. Damn it. How is it a poem? Like it makes it everything.

Your poem is made up of little atoms. Every, they're so small, they're atomized. Hmm, atom and Eve. Atomization. Kind of like life under capitalism, huh? Marks, chapter three, verse two. All right, this one is related to that one, are you ready? Okay.

Now take the same name you have found and mix all its letters around and vision a tower of people with power. Who's home I completely surround? I'm just going to think that Adam is spelled A-D-A-O. No! Okay, good. Good! That would be...

Hey! How was the new peanut butter you tried? Doesn't matter! Don't answer that! Aaron, this is the little thing I like try? Doesn't matter, don't answer that. Aaron, this is the little thing I like to call Sandra Bullock's hit movie, Moat Flopspe. Yeah, it's a moat.

Sandra Bullock's hit movie, The Blind Side. I want to see you seen, the two of you are knights. You are trying to storm a castle to take it over. You have come upon a moat, except there is no drawbridge at all. It's a pretty steep drop and there's alligators in the basin of the moat. Melod, I've just come back from the battlefield. It looks like the castle is near and pregnant. Ew, what?

Ew, you try to get this castle pregnant I'm sorry You said you'd done doing that, sir Oh, yeah, I'm sorry, I'm actually, I'm meeting with someone twice a week They're helping me through it, but it's a process, so it's not like an immediate switch You haven't even sent the money to the last castle you got pregnant. First of all, first of all, we're still waiting all the DNA test to come through, because we don't know. We don't know what we do.

The world is fucking these castle! That's what I'm saying. Who else is you? Because I smelled, it doesn't smell like my horse, and that drawbridge. Excuse me, sorry, I'll see you on the other side. I'm on the castle side, you if you give a gander Welcome to jumbo juice. It's a new idea I have I've taken various fruits and vegetables that I found around the castle and I've made some sort of smoothies I'll take a smoothie, but first guard your castle. This man's

Gonna love it if fuck it. Oh, no, I don't even know if I'm even if it's even a castle. I'm interested in yet You said it was impregnate or you won't get the castle pregnant Did you also say that the last castle that you got unprugnant that you gave it you didn't even get a D&D test Well, you got really good hearing up there, no you I guess my voice just carries straight up to that buttress I would like a strawberry buttress from that castle. A strawberry in banana? Yeah. What are those?

What are those? What do you mean? What are those? What do you mean? What do you mean? What are those? What do you mean? What do you mean?

Here's the flavors are Av. Potato. Ew. In the list. No. Lord, well you've been distracting the wizard who lives in the castle. Potato. Ew. End of list. No! Lord! Well, you've been distracting the wizard who lives in the castle. I've found that the castle has a back door, and it looks like a back door, that I could

come inside pretty soon. Uh-oh. First of all, you've given him an awful lot of credit for being a wizard. He's just making drinks. Anyone could make juice and smoothies. Oh, eh. I don't believe anyone could. Obviously, you use some sort of witchcraft or wizardry to blend the two concepts of food potato and scurrying.

Can you let me put a potato on my mouth and chew while gargling milk? I'm not going to put it on my mouth. Definitely a wizard. Definitely a wizard. Wait, look behind you. No? Excuse me, on my half castle half man., you know, thinking might be my father. Egg-Ey! My mouth is a drawbridge, my blood is in my mouth. My eyes are flat from the top of the castle. My arms are regular human-men, arms.

I'm going to do the right thing, and I I'm gonna raise you as my own. I know it's gonna be hard, but especially as a single dad who has a very dangerous job, storming castles, but it's you and me, and you have a name, son? Storming castles, but I'm a castle. Seen. What has that seen about? Welcome to Nama Juice. What are my favourite scenes of all time now?

My mouth is a drawbridge. It's so stupid. Okay. Phenomenal. What wasn't it about her? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Politics.

I give and take an equal amount. How quickly I do so is easy to count. Over your soul I do not reign, but the purpose I serve is in the same vein. What am I? Needle. I take an equal amount. How quickly I do so is easy to count. Over your soul I do not reign, but the purpose I serve is in the same vein.

Aaron, it's a needle. You can draw blood. You can push in medicine. It's easy to count because the milligrams is on the lines. It's in the same vein, it goes into your vein, it's a needle. No. Is it money? Is it coins?

No. Because if we weren't talking about interest or finance, then you could just give it and take an equal amount, you know? Damn girl, you finance. Do you guess so smart financially, I bet you can retire at 32. From your little Etsy shop. Ha ha ha.

I give and I take an equal amount. How quickly I do so is easy to count. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. A kiss. I do not reign, but the purpose I serve is in the same mood. Every smooch begins with mouth. What's the, smooch?

What is the, my tongue is a carpet. What is the, oh wait, wait, wait, wait, I know it. I know it. Yes. Aaron, is it an hourglass? No. Fuck you.

Fuck you. So I know, I'm sorry, I was getting a delivery. I was getting a delivery. Oh, so no, I was ordering a juice from Domba Juice. Gotcha. Fuck you. I want the fuck you. Okay, so no, I was ordering a juice from Gamba juice. Fuck you. I want the fuck you. Okay, so that's olive pineapple. A kale.

Do you want a bee pollen shot in that? Oh, yeah, I say that. That's what I say in church is, and also fuck you, and also fuck you. Can I do the a pollen actually? I'll actually take the S tier pollen, please. Oh, negative pollen. Aaron, we'll start about soul, about hovering over your soul or something. please. Oh, native pollen. Aaron, what is the answer to this?

What is the answer to this? What is the answer to this? What is the answer to this? About hovering over your solar? Over your solar, I do not rain, but the purpose I serve is in the same vein. Over your solar, I do not rain. So is this solar the shoe? No.

Think of something that is like a real thing, and then also say, it's also your emotional center. Oh, your emotional center. Emotional center. Is this your heart? It's a heart. Give and take, pumping blood, and you're getting out. Mm-hmm. And this is the thing.

And this is capillary. Needle is better. You got it. Hourglass also works. Oh, also I want to plug. KC Tony, our editor and sound engineer, does a wonderful podcast called Needle Scum. Check it out.

Yeah, you can find that anywhere that you can find find books and automobiles. I said no bullshit today, Adam. Spray, spray, spray, add on. No bullshit today. Hey, what's in that bottle? It's delicious. Job with juice.

Now shut up. A spray bottle full of job with juice, just fucking ruined it. Hey, hey. Thanks for watching my cat. If you asked up, spray him with Jamba juice. Is that olive and kale? What the fuck is this? Hey, no bullshit today.

Okay. Okay. Nobody's sure if we exist or a plasma of bed sheets. Sorry, I have to sneeze. Ugh. I have to sneeze. Ooh, this all stays. We have a speech break. Nobody sure if we exist or of plasma or bedsheets, our bodies consist ghosts. But more people feel that if we are real to an army of evil we would enlist. Ghosts. Ghost. I'd like to see a scene.

You are ghosts after a long day. You're married and you're both a little frustrated that people always assume. You're spooky and evil, but you're just like nice ghosts. Honey, I'm boo. but you're just like nice ghosts. Honey, I'm boo. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, yes. I'm boo here, I'm in the living boom. What's for boo? What's for boo? I just, I thought we might just heat up some ectoplasm

like we do every night, honestly. Honestly, we don't even need to eat, so if we don't want to go through the whole Rick and Merule. Hey, welcome to Jamba Boos. What can I get you? Can I get a booster wheat grasshop? Yep. And do you have... Can I get a boobery? Yeah, we can get a boobery. Can I ask you something? Me? Why do you keep recoiling whenever we approach the counter? You're just Yes, you're just a spooky Victorian ghost What makes me perhaps got beheaded and do some blood dripping?

It's like scary. I actually I died in 2017. I I just dressed like this. Oh weird. Oh, yeah People weren't into it when I was alive. It wasn't a fashion trend or anything. It was just a specific, I'd make all these clothes. So I made these clothes. I was beheaded in 1987. That's why I'm wearing these Zubas pants and this tie dye color shirt. I was beheaded during break dancing.

It be, he says beheaded. He was break dancing on a construction site at night. So it was spinning on my head And the way my body was too much that it fell to this high and my head came clean off. Yeah, no It wasn't like he would nobody be headed him and your wheatgrass booster Just so you know Ghosts aren't we're just the outline of humans you one day you'll be a ghost and you'll be frustrated when people are coiled.

I don't think so. Yes. I think I'm going to heaven. Wait, what? Is that what we're not getting into, sweetie? We're not getting into heaven? No, no, no, we're definitely getting into heaven. You just, this is you just do this first, right?

No, you, I mean, also there's a 20-year age difference between your death. That's a little. In Ghost Age is just the number. Oh, of course you would say that weirdo, disgusting. Ha, ha. Honey, where's our dog? I'm gonna think of it. Wait.

It never came a ghost. If our dog died and all dogs go to heaven and where ghosts are on earth and oh my god Our dog must be in heaven which means we're not in heaven which means we're still stuck wait a second look around us We're a jambaboo's We've been coming in here over and over again continuously ordering juice that doesn't taste like anything we must be in heaven I love it here. What were you saying welcome to jambaboo's like anything, we must be in heaven. I love it here, what were you saying? Welcome to John Baboos.

Ha ha ha ha, scene. All right. I love it here, this isn't helped me at all. I actually am having a great time. Okay, yep. I cannot get you in trouble unless I am bad and with me you agree. Michael Jackson. And if I'm not put in a bubble,

you cannot hear or see me. If I'm not putting a bubble, you cannot hear or see me. This is going to be Glenda, the Goodby. This is going to be... Yeah. I want to say a scene. I think Gungans, Gungans are living bubbles. I want to see somebody dress up as a Glendor the Good Gungan. Oh my god. I want to see a scene. JPC, you have somehow arrived in the town, the township, the village of Oz, city even. Aaron, you are Glendor the Good Witch. You arrive in a bubble and as you arrive to welcome JPC you realize you can't get out

Hello and welcome to oh god the wind help help the wind I'm just far down I fell asleep in the barn was I fell asleep in the barn was it? Man how do I help you? That whole bubble is covered Just blow up in me and up I don't know that I want to open the bubble now because I don't know if I want to hear Oh my upside-down? Let me get a stick Welcome to

Blah Hold on Let me get a stick Excuse me, sir If I can have your attention Follow the jambaduce road Follow the jambaduce road Oh, listen to this

I can bl- It's school, yes And no Oh, yeah I'll poke you with a stick Maybe there's a hill Oh, god I feel the bubble It went right through I got poke you with the stick. Maybe there's a help Right through I got you right the eye. Oh boy. Hey, you're not helping either motherfucker John was you strode like help help me with this situation

I don't know I mean I just woke up here seen scene. Really just out of I think I don't know if I don't know if this exists but I Would love to go and be at like a Broadway musical and just have one of the stars get violently ill in the middle of the musical So it's like too late to swap them out of the scene. I think that would be such like what musical would that be the funniest in noises off That's not musical, but that would be amazing. I think maybe cats And all the actors have to go look it up because they're like It's nonsense. It's a nonsense musical anyway Having a cat be like I'm mr. Bestufflies

Okay, also there's so much dancing. So to have them have fun, I would love to do this. If you can be in a flat, then I'm much prefer a house. If you can be in a house. I don't want to see, I don't want to see like a human being experiencing like, you know, to be physically ill. I think that that's not like, it's a nice thing to experience, but if it had to experience, I would love to bear witness to it. I would love to be like, yeah, I just watched one of the backup dancers and cats

Just projectile Bob and everyone had to keep going I had to be the train cat or Rum Tum Tugger just vomiting everywhere So there's there's a thing with show business right or with a Musical or Broadway performance that the with show business, right? Or with a musical or a Broadway performance that the show must go on, right? Yes, that's what it's like. So if something happens, generally speaking, the show must go on.

But that, where does the show must go on stop? If someone's seriously hurt, I think that's the point where it stops and it's like, no, no, no, no, you have to take care of someone. If they have a heart attack, you have to take care of someone. But if someone's just like, is vomiting, that doesn't necessarily feel like stop the show, no, you have to like you have to take care of someone if they have like a heart attack You have to take care of someone but if someone's just like is vomiting That doesn't necessarily feel like stop the show to you pause it the curtain closes and then the stand buys up Yeah, somebody else goes out they finish the song the show must go on the throw must go up

I think I think I told you guys this before but there was I'll be very quick about it There's a world news show once we're in the middle of a scene and audience member ran across the stage. They ran through the scene between the actors on stage, covering their mouth with their fingers and started to project Al Vomit to where it sprayed from between their fingers, which gave it like- With the old space. Yeah, it gave it more velocity and more spread.

So it got everywhere. They get to the bathroom. There's a puddle, there's just spray of vomit and a big puddle in the middle of the stage The scene the scene is still going and I think Matt Young just came on with like a fake mop and was like Clean up an aisle to five minutes of laughter and while the audience is laughing their brains out A intern came and cleaned it up. It was the wildest thing I've ever seen. God, what a fucking nightmare for that intern I know and I'll just and I'll And I'll just drop this in right here for Casey to put this in later.

If you ever problem with vomit, skip forward five minutes. Ha ha ha. Aaron, no more digging around. Yeah, I'm spray, spray, spray, job if you spray. Casey said a funny joke, I'm sorry I was so sick as if he was the one who threw up. Okay, what is the answer? I cannot get you in trouble unless I am bad and with me you

agree. But if I am not put in a bubble you cannot hear or see me. Um, when you say in a bubble a scam trouble. Don't you fill in a bubble and look at scam Yeah. T-H-O-T. Yeah, that I love there. Fonds. Have you thought of that thought? You think you would think of. When the faster is what the world's on the brink of. Brains are what I'd want and think in that blink of an eye as they're what I crave and used to. Okay, I want to see a scene. Sorry.

Of course. Of course. Aaron, I want to see a scene. Sorry. Of course. Of course. Aaron, here's what's going on. You are dining alone. No, you'll dine with me. So you and I are eating and you are looking at a menu. While you're looking at the menu, you start to have really random intrusive thoughts played by JPC.

And that'll be the scene. Ooh, honey, lobster. That's not bad. That's not a bad idea. Yeah. Happy anniversary by the way. Yes, of course. Yeah, whatever you want, happy anniversary. I love you so much. Whatever you want, because you're paying. Whatever you want. Whatever you want. What is your thing? We're fun. We have fun still.

Give it a thought. Look over the menu. Give it a thought. Order the lobster. Order the lobster. Ask for no sauce, no butter. You want dry lobster. Try lobster. Ask for a big glass of water for dipping. Honey, where'd you go? Where'd you go?

Sorry. You're staring at the window. I'm upset to be craving really dry lobster. Sorry. This again? Were you saying something? I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Were you saying something?

I was telling you, I'd like to renew our vows because I feel like you don't love me anymore. And I want to validate my fears. Dry lobster, dip in water. Look at the mushroom caps. Ooh, they have mushroom caps on here, which means they could deep fry all kinds of different caps. You could ask for the caps lock key on a keyboard.

You could ask for a baseball hat See what they can put in the fryer eat some hat Hi everyone welcome to John would you so I'll be here later Do you have a hat a glass of water and the dryest lobster you have? Well, we do have a British lobster now. That's gonna be pretty dry. I want a divorce Brought me Sorry, sorry Where did where did you go while you were ordering?

Sorry. Honey, what's wrong? Sorry. Sorry, my brain just is having a hard time focusing. There's a... Here, look at the dessert menu. Maybe just, maybe we'll get a sweet and a leave. Do I want a divorce?

Ooh, look at that. Chocolate volcano cake. Jovers is the volcano. Tom Hakes. Tom Hakes. Tom Hakes, did he really have COVID? Who knows? And it was with chat Hakes, huh? Yeah.

White boy summer, is that still a thing? You should just say white boy summer right now. Well, making unbreaking eye contract with the waiter. Ooh. Would you like to go on a date with me after my divorce? Hi, who are you talking to? We're driving home. You've been spaced out for two hours.

Fuck. Seen. Um, all right. Let's get rid of again. Okay. Yeah, we didn't, we, I think we got it in one, but we may need to hear it one more time. Yeah, I know.

Can I just say, I think JPC and I are doing a wonderful job of staying true to the idea that every scene must have somebody say welcome to jump. Yeah, I think you're doing good job. You are mentioning some bullshit. So so far, you're on Thin Ice. Oh, well, okay, thank you so much. I love being on Thin Ice. No, you don't.

Have you thought of that thought that you think you would think of? When disaster is what the world's on the brink of? Brains are what I'd want and think in that blink of an eye as they're what I crave and you stink of. I'm gonna do it. I, I, I'm, what is that? 150 something episodes. I very rarely do this, but I'm gonna use my pass.

I'm gonna pass on this. No, you can't. You only get one pass per entire podcast. I'm gonna do the phone a friend. Can't Aaron use my phone a friend? Okay, if you call me, if I look down at my phone, and I get him getting a call from you. Sorry, Aaron, can you shut up my phone ringing? It's Louis Anderson. It's ringing, it's ringing. You're gonna say it's Louis Anderson, and you're not gonna do the Louis Anderson?

I didn't pick up. Well, Aaron, I'm gonna answer it. I'm gonna answer it. I'm gonna answer it. I'm gonna answer it. I'm gonna answer it. I'm gonna answer it. That's right. You're going to say it's Louis Anderson and you're not going to do the Louis Anderson. I didn't pick up. Well Aaron, I'm going to answer it. Zambé. Eh eh. So that's that.

Thank you Sam. Thank you Sam. Sam, Bob, for those incredible riddles that we really appreciate it and then we're going to take a quick break to eat some braids, and then we'll do more riddles. Welcome to John Mjus, would you like some brains? One, two, three, four, eight, break, go break, go break, go! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!

Hey, GPC. Uh, yeah? You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Addle, and I'm setting up a whole website to prank him. I just need help. I'm Prinking at all and I'm setting up a website to Okay, I just need some advice this podcast is sponsored by Squarespace I'm not I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Spaces to all one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to sit online

Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website engaged with your audience, and so let me think for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Addle, come here, come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I wanna prank JPC,

and I wanna set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like like is there like an online store? Like it set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merchant create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you, saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay.

Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna shoot you. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my Prank website, the Prank's Artool of You. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron.

I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. The website was for. Prank. With Squarespace. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC.

What's up, Madel? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. If you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back.

Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adel and JPC.

Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an empath. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, have there never truly is a middle of the woods? No, this is the middle.

Okay, this is it. Adel, can you help? Yeah, actually. So, as per the middle. Okay, this is it. How do you help? Yeah, actually, so as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems, he has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help.

Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron in life were faced with tough choices, and the path forward isn't always clear. whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships being stuck in the middle of the woods therapy helps you stay connected to what you Owl Owl. Sorry, that also does so fast therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Hmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule.

I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and

eating them. Dirty bread crumbs. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Yeah, and he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com slash riddle. R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in

the United States. Hope you get home. I am home. Who are we? I'm clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I wanna talk about my favorite,

my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Bunny. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Mm-hmm. Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place.

I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, sorry, I also wanna give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly, and easily find your subscriptions for you,

and for any you don't wanna pay for anymore, just hit cancel, and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy, Kling, Kling it for you. It's that easy. Clint, Clint, Clint. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off over three million. Oh, Clint, Clint, Clint. Over three million people have used rocket money saving the average person up to $720 a

year. We love rock. Stop. Clint, Clint, Clint, Clint. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rock at money.com slash riddle. That's rock at money.com slash riddle. Rock at money.com slash riddle. And tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website Hi, I'm not home right now, but this is family feud former host you in your sin right now. But this is Family Feud Former Host, you ain't your sin. Free receiver message after the tap thing,

the issues aren't your more. Hi, Louis, this is John but you said just wanted to say welcome and seen. I'm so proud of you both because Sam was very obviously trying to set us up to do a Laura X scene, which we haven't done in maybe a hundred episodes. and no one fell for it. No one took the bait, and no one called for it, and I'm pleased to face much. Oh, are you pissed?

Oh, because your legs are crossed, you're facing away from us, you're drinking a tea, and you look kind of passive-aggressive and angry at us. This is a new stretch I saw about on YouTube. Oh, okay, saw about it on YouTube? You're wearing your penis as a tie. Well, maybe at the end of the episode we'll deserve a little Lorax. Maybe we'll win the back over.

Maybe if we're good and we eat all of our vegetable runels. Oh, GPC speaking of which Lorax did you get? Did you get the Pfizer or the... Hey, stop. No bullshit spray, spray, spray. Ah, ah. Perfect. Ready?

Uh-huh. These are from Christine. You can use my name. Thanks, Christine. The haunted car? No. Wait, I can use Christine's name Hold on credit card.com I'm a narcissist target to Christine wrote some beautiful compliments to us, which I will read to you after and then after what after we die

Christine says I'm from Nottingham, England and I know how much you love cracking out those British accents. Ooh, Nottingham, Julie Roberts. That's Notting Hill. We got already kind of did that this episode too, just FYI. I know. So I thought we could play a game. All right, a list of old English words. And perhaps through logic and lateral thinking, you could see if you can translate them into modern day English. That's fun. Let's see. And I love these. I think that it's gonna be really fun.

Aaron, do you think I want to fucking add an E onto the word old and play this fucking game? The Brits had it wrong. Americans invented English. That's why it's called English. We invented nothing. Aaron, I'll say this. That's why it's called English. We invented nothing. Aaron, I'll say this. One opera with the short assertion, the draft of March has passed to the Rota and bothered every vine and swished a chord of which for two engineers is the four.

Can't it bury tailies? Is that from cats? It's from cats. That's a runtime tuggersaw. That's written on every can't-a-berry egg. The first word is a Victorian word from sometime between 1836 and 1901, and it's bow wow mutton.

Wait, what's the game? Yeah, what is that? Translate that into modern English. What is bow wow mutton? Can I just say I love that professors I assume saw this word or phrase and went, oh, this is clearly from somewhere between 1902 and 1836 Wow Bow wow mutton Modern English bow wow mutton would be I believe Shad Moss

Shad Moss facial hair I think that bow was named a Shad Moss right all Shadmos facial hair. I think that's that, that bear was named a Shadmos, right? I'll think that bear while my own would translate to dog meat. It just is thinking dog meat. Oh yeah, dog meat. Well, dog meat.

You're not totally off. That makes sense. It's a mysterious meat eating on chips. So ambiguous, it could even be dog meat. So you knew that. So I was dead on. I said dog meat. So ambiguous that it could even be dog meat. So you nailed it. So I was dead on. I said dog meat. So ambiguous that it could even be dog meat.

That makes it sound like dog meat is the best possible meat that this would be. The highest quality that this would be is dog. Well, that's where the expression comes eating high on the dog. Mm-hmm. Aaron, I'm sorry, I don't know what we're doing here. So you're gonna give us a phrase

and we have to figure out what the phrase meant or we have to, okay. Yeah, you translate it into modern English. I see. Here's the next one. It's another Victorian word. It's butter up the bacon. Butter up the bacon. Now this is a Victoria Beckham saying? Yes. Butter up the bacon means to flirt with me. I'm a little pig. And you got to butter me up. What this means is, let's say you're on the set of hollow, man. And Kevin just isn't giving it to you.

You're his coat, you're his co-star. It's supposed to be very scary. He's just not bringing it. This is when director calls cut. It's like, hey, we'll take a five. You say, oh my God, such an honor to be working with you. You're an absolute legend. You're doing so well.

Do you need anything from me? Is there anything that I could be doing? His ego goes straight to his head. Director calls action. Boom, you got hollow band, my friend. His ego goes straight to his head. Boom, aneurysm. Can I just say?

Your wife is amazing. Butter up the bacon. Butter up the bacon? I'm gonna say butter up the bacon. I'm gonna say translates almost to like putting a hat on a hat, like buttering up bacon. Bacon is already so rich and so full of like fat and grease that to put butter on it is overkill.

So I'm gonna say that buttering up the bacon is like overkill or hat on a hat. Yeah, it's like having two guys on a podcast to wear hats and have beards. Yes. What I think we're buttering up the bacon. So one of us must go. Yeah. What I think butter up the bacon means is it's like in the parlance of the time, it means like,

let's get the boys together. So, you know, it's like it's Sunday, you're about to go like the big game starting, you're gonna go tailgating what you say. Saturdays are for the boys. I just butter up the bike in every bone and then you all head off to do like the day's activities. Yeah. Butter and up the bacon.

Guy stuff. Guy stuff in England. We're doing guy stuff. We're having a day. Guy stuff. We're having a great time. I'm rubs up sugar. Um yes. Were you old frat boys? Were punchin' a horse? You killed frat boys. Were you the brats boys? Smithy please. Did you see it? Smithy. Werefatt boys, we're bungein' a horse,

ge-o-fatt boys, fair then or course, and ge-o-fatt boys drinkin' some mail. Okay. We're ge-o-fatt boys, and we never fail. Except at a school. Okay, you actually got it right, Adel. It's too much extravagance, like adding lots of butter to bacon.

Ungapachka. That's exeggisem. Cool, I would like to see a scene. Yes. Adel, you are Ye old frat boy and JPC, you are a new pledge. And I would like to see that scene. Thank you so much. Oh, listen up pledges.

You're about to pledge to... uh, medieval, medieval, medieval. The MMM's, it's the most glorious frat in all of 1207. Now we are in the Dark Ages, so we can still initiate people. After the Dark Ages, that will cease to be a thing. So, step forward, pledge what's your name? Oh, my name is Roger. And Roger, how many teeth do you have? All of them, sir. Five.

Ooh! Four! How many do you have now? Six! Thank you, sir! I grew it too far, I did! Oh, wait. I'll just split one of my two dintwine. Okay, now I want to put this crown on your head. And now you, you, you King of England.

Take a bow. Sir, as soon as I take a bow, there's another one of you Jens is going to come up and slap me on the bottom. No. But there was a point about it. We're going to kick you in the nuts. Oi! Good show sir.

Thank you so much for my punishment. Can I be in the nuts. Oi! Good show sir! Thank you so much for my punishment! Can I be in the club now sir? No, you have to recite the brand new hit play, Merchandá Vénes. Here in 12-o's. 12-o's, Evan. Excuse me, can you untie me from the torture device

that stretches you out? Also welcome to John but juice Perfect also all some of the job of just Marty still in use Marty What Marty just Marty? Mm-hmm. Just Marty. Okay, so this is Belly M Just Marty. Mm-hmm, just Marty. Okay, so this is... How do you spell it? M T-t-a-r-d-y

Language of origin? Chris and Lloyd. Party. Everyone's favorite part of the show is when one of the gang gets Marty when somebody neglects to yes and them. Um, so is this where Marty Raw comes from? This does not mean horny Okay, does it mean on the way to being horny? No

Sorry, I would stop but I'm on the way to being horny It was so good to see you though. I guess I'm Marty, but keep dancing anyway Do I make you Marty? Do I? It's your kids' Marty. It's not you, it's your kids' Marty. It's your kids' Marty. Marty.

Hey Marty, what do you mean? Get out of here, we don't want you here anymore, Marty. I do like a word that's not horny, but it's on the way to being horny. Like it's like, it's the half step between just feeling normal, feeling horny, but it's on the way to being horny. Like, it's like, it's the half step between like, just feeling normal, feeling horny, feeling Marty. Chris Pied, that's how I feel about Chris Pied. I'm not horny, but I feel like I might be on the way

to being horny. Can you repeat the phrase one more time? Marty. Oh, it's just that. That's it. Marty, it's the first time you said it, I thought it was like a phrase. No, Marty.

Marty, so it's just Marty. So I'm gonna say. Marty, it's one of the first time you said it, I thought it was like a phrase. No, Marty. Marty, so it's just Marty. So I'm gonna say that Marty, so Marty Gra, that feels like it was very good. It's not Marty Gra. Marty Gra will be like franchise. Spell totally different, different. M-A-R-D-Y. I'm gonna say Marty means that you are grumpy.

Yes. Is it? It's literally grumpy. Holy shit. So I want to see a scene. Okay. I want to see a scene. The two of you are your own specific creatures

or characters, whatever you want to be. Oscar the Grouch has unfortunately died. Somebody nailed down his lid and couldn't get oxygen. So you are applying to be the new kind of Grouch character, the grumpy character on Sesame Street. And I'll be the additional. Come on in please, introduce your name. Hello, my name is Olser.

Olser, okay, very nice. I'm sorry. It's... yeah, I... It's... maybe it's me. Old... Sir. Oh, old sir, I'm sorry. Yeah, okay, old sir. Uh, okay, old sir.

Oh, is your back hurting it? Do you have any chastah? Anything we have bottles? I have fego. That's... That's a have fego That's Fanta that's not too coke Yeah, I have warm. I have doctor lightning doctor lightning. Yes. No, that'll do. Thank you so much. Oh, okay And what is it's to me it's to me. So old sir. What is your what what are you? What?

What are you well? I mean obviously I'm a muppet, which is what, you know, we all are. It's kind of a qualification for me. Yeah. And you know, Oscar the Grouch was, he was a famous screen monster in a trash can. And he just described what your stick is. So I guess you want me to describe my like shape,

my general shape. Yeah, and like what you're inside of. Basically, okay, ah, perfect. So I guess the way guess you would describe me physically as I look like a bunch of life savers that have kind of melted together like in a pocket. Ha, ha, ha. And then I have these big, big,

Google-y eyes and big ears on the top of me. Basically, look at the tubular creature. Mm-hmm, huh, very nice. And, uh, go ahead. Oh, and I live inside the stomach. So somebody stomach. So I kind of like pop out of the side of somebody stomach. Okay. So maybe, okay, I could see maybe like you live inside Big Bird and everyone's while Big Bird is napping you burst out of his stomach and you sing a song or something. I wish. I

love to live inside of Big Bird. Could you sing sing like just two lines of like a super sad song because you're probably gonna be like grumpy, so something where you're like angry or annoyed or sad. Sure, sure, sure, sure. Stop eating spicy foods. It all comes down to be someday. Stop. Oh, you, that's good.

That's good. You got the job, but we do technically have to bring in this other person. Why don't you stand over here by me? Stand over here by me. You already have the job. And why don't you just intimidate this next person? Come on in, what's your name? Hi, I'm Oscar the Anxious, and I'm just a hand, because I forgot my Muppet.

I'm just a man, I forgot my Muppet. I'm just a man, I forgot my Muppet. I'm Oscar the anxious, I also live in a trash can. Okay, I see your headshot is just a, one of those kindergarten turkeys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you just traced yourself and cut out the cart. Okay, interesting, interesting. A little lipstick.

I'm Oscar the anxious. Okay, and what's your thing? I live in a trash can, I'm super anxious. I'm most curious. Okay. And what's your thing? I live in a trash can. Super anxious. Okay. Interesting. You can just hang in there because I forgot my mug. Just a hand.

Of course. Yeah. So maybe, do you mind singing a song? So maybe would, you know, if we did cast you, we're not going to. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I song. Clearly you're done, but we do have to humor you. Legally, we have to humor you. I got it. I got it. So yeah, it's just a little song about, I guess, whatever someone anxious would sing about, or a hand.

I didn't prepare a song. I didn't know I had to sing. I didn't prepare a song. Interesting. You're reading a spicy food against me. It's only spicy food against me. Oh, but, no point. I would just like to say, I think you're great. Welcome to the job. Oh, thank you, say, say, say, oh good, good, good, good catch.

That would have been scary. It's so close, so close. I do love saying I didn't prepare a song and then stealing the previous person's song. Yeah. Put the wood in the hole. Oh, put the wood in the hole. Oh, that might air is fucking. No.

Oh, I think what Adam let's say is fracking. Spray, spray, this is bullshit. Focus. Oh, you're trying to, you're trying to peed a better? Fucking riddles. Fuck, focus, riddles, fuck yeah. Put the wood in the hole. Now, okay, you know, this is an old timey thing.

Does it have to do with me? Maybe some archery, yeah, like getting the bull's eye, putting the wood wind the hole it is now okay, you know, this is an old time you think does it have to do with me So archery yeah like getting the bull's eye put in the wooden hole. Yes. Well. No. Oh Yes, well no when JP riddles wants to keep out the cold He'd say this to one of his raccoons Put the wood in the hole. Oh, it's like lighting a fire. No Keep out the cold put the wood in the hole Is this like locking the door, like barring? Yeah, it's closing the door.

Oh, it's seing up gaps, yeah, yeah. It's closing the door, which is great. Okay, I, this is a scene that we must have done on the show a thousand times, but I want to see it anyway. You are two commentators commentating on a basketball game. Aaron, you're more of the color commentator, and you're only using phrases that are not at all connected to basketball to describe

what's happening. Adel, feel free to just use as much basketball knowledge as you actually have. I know you watched basketball. Welcome back to the game. I'm Dunk Monster. Join here by color commentariest. Introduce yourself, please.

First time on the show, we're lucky to have her on TNT go ahead and introduce yourself Sports Mick lady. Thank you so much for having me. I can't wait That's right sports Mick lady and we are here to watch the game between the Denver Nuggets and the Phoenix Suns Now this is quite a showdown. Nikola Yokek coming off a MVP season. He's gonna be the one to look out for I'm thinking of you. I cannot wait to watch him put the egg in the basket. Yes, the phrase I'd never heard. But of course, James Nasemith, when he invented it, put it in a peach basket was how the game was first played.

Here comes Chris Paul down the court. Chris Paul, of course, having a tremendous year. Now he's known for his state farm commercials, but he's also a hell of a player, leading the league in assists and steals as well. Yep, and he's taking that pumpkin and he's throwing it at the ground mud, which is made of wood. And what the thing about that though, is that the pennies go down this way. A penny a day saves nine.

And what's interesting about that is Ben Franklin invented the Bifocal's and we can see that on the court today. Absolutely. So while you're saying that, we did miss a huge 360 dunk by DeAndre Aiden, but I'm sure we can catch up with that later. You went around the world and back again. Let's see a slow mo of that and if you can see, I'm going to actually draw on here. Oh, please don't draw on the TV.

That's not what we do. That's not what we do. He is. It's ruined. It's ruined. He's. He is. Oh, it's ruined. This way he's always a bridesmaid never a bride. You can tell by this shot. Yes. And then it does go in, but we can't tell. We can't tell because the people keep moving. You can't draw a circle around someone while the game is live.

The ball went in and it didn't save his marriage. And that's what I always say about this kind of team, this kind of a player. Now, sport. sorry sports, how do you feel about Michael Porter Jr. now? A lot of people were worried about his injury season, but since he's come back, he's been a huge boon to the nuggets. How do you feel? Absolutely.

And what I always say about him and players like him is you can't make a mountain out of a knee injury and you got to just get up there, and you gotta hit it out of the park. Oh, interesting. And of course, you said that you went to mention how the Denver Nuggets got their name, a little tidbit fun fact for the people at home. Go ahead and let everyone know how the Denver Nuggets got their name.

Absolutely, thank you so much for throwing to me. Everybody get up, it's time to slam now. We've got a real gym going now. Welcome to the Space Gym, all the team ate nuggets every day to get stronger to book up. Oh, everyone hold on. There's a super fuckable bunny on the court. Everyone look over there. Yep, and that is what we call defense. A super fuckable bunny. The coach really seems to be on top of the shit. He's put a super fuckable bunny out there, and I'm really, really proud of them, huh?

Huh? Let's go to our on-court reporter with the news from down there. Wow, what an amazing play Sports and dunk I believe your devs. I'll be honest My name Pepper sauce Thanks pepper sauce and we did one I do I do have one more thing to report from down here on the court And that is you know some close-up action of our last play. It looks like Dwight Thanks, Pepper Toss, and we did want to see you. Well, I do have one more thing to report from down here on the court. And that is, you know, some close-up action of our last play.

It looks like Dwight passes it to Kaminsky. He's dribbling in between his legs and, oh, welcome to Jamba Juice. That's a three-pointer. And it looks like you're actually in a legal court. You're not on the actual floor for the game. You're in a legal court? Great point, Dunk. I'm trying to get my kids back.

Seeing. Got the basket. Didn't save his marriage. Trying to get your kids back. The most little American of games. All right. We're going to get through the rest of these quickly. So we're going to move. Yes. Yes. It's fart catcher. You say fart catcher. Uh huh. 17 14 to 18 30s. You, and sorry, you did say fart catcher. I did. I said it. Is that, is that what you call somebody's mouth? Yeah. Ew. Shut the fuck up.

Is your nose the fart catcher? No. Fart catcher. Oh, anyway, you're bad at me. How is fart smell with an E at the end? How is fart smell? I'm sorry. 911. What's an emergency?

Um, I'm going to give you a hint. Yeah. That's what's the thing. Excuse me. 911, what's an emergency? I'm going to give you a hint. Yeah, okay. Is it the spelling of art? Burgundy's relationship to Ethel Mermaid, perhaps. It is. You're a patron. Those are from the Ethel Greatest Party ever. Is it a first-getra butler?

Yeah. Oh. Footmen or valet used to walking a couple of steps behind their master or mistress. Footmen or valet used to walking a couple of steps behind their master or mistress. Footmen or valet to someone who's extremely abusive. Hey, you fucking fart catcher. Go get me a drink. All right, ready?

Scandal water. Scandal water. 14 to 1830s. So this is a famous TV show set in Atlantis where a woman tries to, I've never seen Scandal. I'm sorry, I'm out of references. Scandal water is Dessani, which was famously kicked out of England for being tap water, just tap water. Are they saying you can't sell this here?

Yeah. And tap water famously in England was water that danced. So, Scandal water. Is Scandal water tears? No. Oh, see, a bit of Scandal us. Did someone break up with you? Is it saltwater? Is it like, oh, you drink the scandal water? Whoa, you're crazy. No, what's the thing you might drink when you're talking about scandals? Shimping. Um, wine. I'm a teamy. Spill the tea. No, tea, it's tea. Oh, I actually like spilling. Oh, I'm going to say wine with the scandal. The tea you would drink tea while gossiping. I'd like to see a scene three of us hour, uh, were us, um, and, us and We're gossiping about each other and none of it's true while we're drinking tea. Oh Aaron Aaron JPC Aaron did JPC. Did you hear did you hear that?

JPC got a pet parrot and was teaching it only sexy words Yeah, like but yeah like but and party But yeah, I words. Yeah like butt. Yeah like butt and party. But I heard that. Yeah. Yeah. And I heard that the parrot was funnier than him. Oh, JPC told him that he couldn't get a podcast microphone. Wow. Oh, hey, JPC. Hey, JPC. Wait, I've been here. I was. Oh, shit. You were. Yeah. And you didn't say and you didn't deny it speaking Okay, I'm gonna get up in parents. Oh, okay, so that's what it was. It's not just the three of us all talking No, I'm gonna get up and get more T. I'm gonna get more T. I'm gonna get up and get more Oh JPC while she's gone. Did you hear that JPC also married his parrot?

I heard that it was a green card marriage and JPC is trying to get legal status in a parrot world. Did you guys hear about JPC's Canadian parrot? Oh no, super polite. Paulie went out to the cracker, please. Yeah, Lyndon Vancouver. Could Paulie bother you for a cracker? If not, it's fine. I actually read an article about JPC's parrot on swaker

that says that it's just a political marriage anyway because that parrot is parrot royalty. You read it on squaker? Let's parrot on swaker. That says that it's just a political marriage anyway, because that parrot is royalty. You read it on squaker? On squaker. Wow. Okay, I read on squaker that JPC didn't even get a prenup. Ooh, I read on dead parrot spin. I think that's the one.

Stretch. I read that the parrot's been dead. And he, and it's JPCPC using his hand like a muppet auditioning I read that there only reason that they got married to begin with is so that JPC could in parrot All of that parrots worldly possessions. Oh, I heard also that JPC ran a parrot trap where he tried to get the parrots parents together Also welcome to jambajus. What would you like? But anyway, Aaron, Aaron. Yeah. Do you have any, do you have any scandal water?

Yeah, it's just the piss from JBC's parent. Welcome to John Buduce. See, my favorite part of Independence Day is when the aliens land, Will Smith punches an alien, goes, welcome to John Buduce. Mm-hmm. All right, well, I'm only going to read a couple more of these.

I'm going to decide what they are. Oh, that's great because we only have a couple more minutes. Um, a bed presser. Bed presser, that's when you have sex with someone and they're on top. No. Uh, who a bed presser. Oh, it's me.

I'll always think of my little brother who made up the pickup line. And I think it was in high school, which is, ooh, girl, I'm gonna make your bed hurt. Oh. Ew. Oh. Fantastic.

A bed presser. So this, would this be like a, a, a, a laundryette? Like, would this be a bed presser? With a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, I'm sorry, is this someone who's like lazy? Yeah. Yeah, they just sit around and play his layin' bed all day. I want to see the same.

I want to see a scene. The two of you are, I assume you both have seen Charlie in the chocolate factory. Multiple times. Okay, the two of you are a set of grandparents in that bed. You know how those grandparents just lay in bed. So two you're the last two remaining grandparents. You're not one of the ones who got to go on the tour with Charlie

You're not that grandpa and grandma. So you're just laying in bed trying to figure shit out and you're in your kind of bitter because of Charlie took the other grandpa Good morning. Good morning. Are you done with that section of the paper yet? Yeah, I guess I'm done with the section of the paper. Okay. Well, you know, it's polite if you're going to do this a doku to do an impensel,

because other grandpa's in the bed would like to do this to Doku as well. It's polite to not fart all night long when you're sharing the bed. No, incorrect, incorrect. When you're asleep and you fart, you cannot be blamed for that. Because you have no control. You were not asleep. Was I making big... Oh, she...

Oh, she... Sounds? Because then I was asleep. No Fine fine. I was awake. I was awake because my big thoughts were keeping me up all night That's what you want to hear, but you know what? It's kind of hard to sleep when someone's foot is in your crotch just kicking kicking kicking kicking What's the rule keep your feet on the other side of the legs? Okay, I am kicking your crotch in my dream, and then I'm sleepin' acting, kicking you in the crotch. I also want to say I'm a little pissed.

We raised Charlie for seven years. You and I, when his parents couldn't show up, you and I raised Charlie for at least seven years of his life. Mm-hmm. And then this other grandpa comes in after gambling. For fucking forever, I didn't even know he could walk. It's honestly, it's bullshit. I mean, who's the grandparent who gets up every couple of weeks and makes a bunch of clothes soup in the big pot?

I do that. I make the clothes soup in the big pot. Grandma, grandpa, I'm back. It's me, Charlie. It's me. It's me.. It's you. It's me your grandson Charlie I wanted to tell you that ever since I was given the chocolate factory I've been living the high life I've been living high on the dog I have a mansion on the hill

I have no idea what the fuck you Charlie fuck you Charlie what the fuck you pick it other grandpa get out of here Charlie Why just came to grab grandpa Joe's shoes, so... Oh please! Good day to you, I said good day! Good luck getting the shoes because they're part of my big clothes soup for the week! See? Welcome to John Budges! No, we didn't get it in, we didn't get it in. Oh, buzzer beater. Um, alright.

Uh... Uh, buy my troth. Buy my troth, buy my troth. Buy my troth. Buy my troth. Buy my troth. Buy my troth. Baby gonna buy my troth. Little piggy eating and then getting a mouth. Getting the guy to mouth. Buy my troth. Buy my troth. Buy my troth. That means believe me. Like read my lips. Buy my troth. I promise it's true. Whoa, I'm actually got it. You're a little bitch. By my trough, I did not put wood in that hole. By my trough, they're a little bitch.

I promised you might be troughed. You're might be troughed. Well, there's a couple more, and I might say them for another day, and those are from Christine. So thank you so much, Christine. Thank you, Christine. Thank you, Christine. I have one more riddle before plugs.

These are from Mo. My name is Mo, and I made this up. When is a tail not a tail? When is a tail not a tail? When it's a story. When is a tail not a tail? When it's spinning. When is a tail not a tail?

Ooh, amazing game. If you haven't played Undertale, one of the best video game experiences of our head my life I think Tasty Tony recommended that to me When is it tail not a tail? Oh, I'm if they're driving too close when they're driving too far away That's pretty good. I'm just gonna tell you when it's a wagon. Oh Shnaps. Oh, yeah, yeah, I would like to see a scene. Uh-oh JPC you're the Lorax Oh, and you're warning us, we'll tell them. I would like to see a scene. Uh-oh. Uh, JPC, you are the Lorax.

Ooh. And you're warning us about whatever you want to warn us about. Excuse me, good sirs. I see that you're dining on this beautiful day when the sun's up here shining. But did you know with your carbon emissions that soon you'll be causing some nuclear fission. That's right as you smoke and you eat and you drink, all of the world's going

straight down the sink. Individual consumers can stop this kerfluffle. All you must do is the energy shuffle. I am the thorax. I don't mean to smother. I am here because I'm the Lorax's brother. I'm talking to inner pace that's actually quite loose to welcome you all to this Jamba Juice. See. He was gonna get there, Adel. You know, I, I, I, I, I,

GPC, I know you were gonna end with a Jamba Juice. Where are you gonna end with Jamba Juice, Ryan? Hey, I'd like to think that I was, but I just don't know. I just don't know. I know, I know. I know. Is there, is there anything else that you know, maybe something about you that you would like to share with the world?

I got nothing. Hell yeah. Adel, anything to plug? A few things to plug. One, like that was just mentioned two minutes ago. Please play Undertale if you've ever played it again. One of the absolute top three gaming experiences of all time. It's on the Switch, Undertale rules. If you play it, let us know how you like it. Also, I want to give a huge plug and shout out to Bluey Season 2.

Just came out on Disney Plus. Fifty-one new episodes. I gotta tell ya, Bluey's the best thing going on TV, you gotta watch it. And then a few podcasts appearances I made recently that you're gonna want to check out. I was a guest on Murder, She Joked. That's Murder, She Joked. Please check out that podcast, it's a very good time. And also, I just appeared on a good friends podcast,

Mr. Jeff Griggs, so I assume you to know often. I know of Jeff Griggs. Cubsan, he's wonderful. I appeared on his new podcast, Bullshit Alert. So please check out Bullshit Alert, follow their Twitter, whatever you wanna do, and listen to me try and bullshit some stories or not on Bullshit Alert.

Check it out. Okay. JPC, anything to plug uh and also plug it as the lyrics fun okay let's get a gift gift question mark um I am the Lorex and I'm here to say that I'll tell you something that brightens my day. It's hearing from fans on email or Twitter when I read what they say it gives my heart a flitter. But I'd also like to say that the ones that are best are the Patreon people for they help afford me this vest but I would like to say a sincere thank you to all of the people that support us on Patreon I just thought about this the other day how like wild and lucky it is that we get to do something like this and have fun

and it's in large part of the people that support us. So thank you for all of you that do that. And if you want to make that choice, you can go to patreon.com slash hayroom and support us as well. Aaron, I think that I see a Jamba Juice in the sky hurtling ever closer to us. Do you know where I'm looking? Ah! Oh shit.

Bye for now. Oh Jupiter, bye! I am. I am. Starting here in Geven. And John Patrick Collins. Casey Tony to the editing. And Marty Perrin to the music. Vocal created by Emily Cardamus and Emily DeBora.

The most stupid or hate-rich-or-break-all. We're famous and am a leader. The converting's moved along pretty nicely almost done. We'd love to see it. Yeah, and you can go ahead and open all that porn back up It's not converted. My man already did it on my phone. What about my porn? What should I do with my porn? Nothing you can do can take me away from my porn. My porn. That's our opening. That's our opening. Hey there, guitars and bass. If you like that, you're going to love this week's Patreon. It's another episode of the name that tomb game. You can listen to that plus our entire Bat catalog at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or the review crew for $8 a month. See you there!