Hey Riddle Riddle - #155: Eat at Tootie Poots!

Episode Date: July 7, 2021

Sit down and enjoy the menu at Tootie Poots! We have some tantalizing appetizers including Adal's short stories, JPC's F9 review and Erin's drive to LA! For our entree's we have some delicious President heckling, some children doing a very mature Phantom of the Opera production and a biblical take on debt! For dessert? You're on your own. Buy a f*cking cookie at Walgreens or something I don't know. We can't provide EVERYTHING #WiddleWednesdayStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. And we're ready for the next one! And we're ready for the next one! Rock, shoot, beat 4, hit, hit, go, brick, go! Today, we're talking riddles. Three podcast hosts, do a show, Solving riddles, puzzles, hosts, do a show, solving riddles puzzles, lateral thinking problems, they do improv along the way and have some fun. Their friends, one of them just moved. I'm Ira Glass, this is Hey Riddle Riddle. Did you know that Ira Glass stands for Irish Republican Army?

What? Did you know that glass stands for G-Laddy Addles. Uh oh. People are going to think that this is this American life and then they're going to be so mad when it's not. I've been practicing my ira glass impression. What on a scale of one to 10, what do we think? Was that pretty good?

I'd say like eight or nine. It got really good by the end too. Okay, it's been too long since I've heard ira glasses voice for me to cut them. Can you, does anybody else wanna try it? Nope. No, but I really love that you put yourself out there that way.

I was really beautiful to watch. They're really proud of you I would never but What's the what's the woman who does cereal I can do that? Oh, I can do the music ready. I'm any Corinne There's my that's my hold bit Bling bling bling bling. Yeah, we can all do that Is that Star Starly Kind? No. No.

Oh, God, what is her name? Anyway, I forget her name, but I can do a pretty spot on impression. Let's hear, here we go. Male Kimp? Thank you. Thank you. I don't know her name.

She's in the opening of the, for about 16 months. Oh, Sarah Cunning. Sarah Cunning. Sarah opening of the For about 16 months. Sarah Conning For about 16 months male chimp was like the butt of every joke where it's like a Merrill trim and then eventually I don't did they go out of business are they still around? Let humans have fun. You had I bet you had fun doing six so much It's you know, can you do any podcast host impressions? So much. It's so much. Can you do any podcast host impressions?

I'm at over five. I'm an absolute clown. You know, JPC, I got pervert energy. Well, well, Aaron, I do thank you for introducing the rest of us because Adela introduced himself and then we forgot to introduce ourselves. So that's. I'm Aaron and that's JPC's very kind good man.

And I have pervert energy, which doesn't make me a pervert. It just means that's the energy that I put out. So wait, there's this absolute clown bullshit still stand? Okay, that's a really good example of absolute clown bullshit. I told you that vodka company paid me to be a clown. Aaron, okay. I do not want to mix vodka and clowns. We have a lot to catch up with.

There's been a lot going on in the hey riddle riddle universe with our hosts I'll start off because mine's maybe the shortest Aaron since you left for LA. I told myself Aaron Please yes I told myself that all you should start writing more Time is leading you got to start writing more. So I have written something, and Aaron, I want your opinion on it because I consider you a wonderful collaborator. JPC, I want your opinion as well.

But I assume that yours is going to be negative. But I've been trying to write more in general. And so I wanted to start with the basics. And I know that famously the The saddest short story ever written is for sale baby shoes never worn now I was doing some writing exercises and I said Adel can you make this a two-cent story and make it the happiest story in the world So I took a shot at that so instead of the saddest one sentence story of all time I have written the happiest two-cent story of all time, I have written the happiest two sentence story of all time.

Aaron, whenever you're ready, I'm going to start reading this. Okay. For sale, baby shoes never worn. The baby was born with wheels. Okay, is the question, should you go outside and get some sun? Because the answer is yes. I think you could use some fresh air at all. Maybe a walker at your block.

Not the notes I wanted. Not the notes I wanted not the notes I wanted and for my notes when you said famously I thought to myself who is the most famously and then I was like Bruce Lee Tommy Lee Jones David Lee Roth Vivian Lee Harvey Oswald I started going I was like I don't know I don't know who the thing is Robert E Lee Robert E Lee yeah yeah okay I also have a tweet I also have a tweet my draft box if you want to give me some notes on this you ready? Spurm count what is that some sort of gross Dracula?

Okay, yeah, I would go outside And also I would say my baby being born with wheels is sort of a nightmare. My husband will know I fuck my car. So I'm sorry, Adel, but is that tweet just a direct sub-tweet of my Ivan Tussak? You're nuts! Tweet because that's what sperm Dracula would say to be clear. To be clear, sperm count does say I've until psych your dick You guys are literally right where I left you so Aaron sounds like you don't want to voice my character of baby car

What Aaron you've never said that speaking of baby car you've been in a car traveling Traversing across America to your final destination. Oh What's his name Ethan? Sue plead. No, what's that guy's name Ethan Hawke? What no. What's his name? Ethan Soupli. No, what's that guy's name? Ethan Hock. What? No, what's his name? Who is Evan Sawa? Evan Sawa.

Who's the most famous Sawa? Aaron, how was your trip? Where did you stop along the way? Are you settled? It was good. I'm happy. Took a long time to finally get out of Chicago, kept getting delayed.

It was making me feel really anxious and sad. So I'm happy to be finally here. I feel way more peaceful, way more relaxed. And it's just so fun to finally be in my new place. We did. That's that cally weed, baby. Yeah, smoking it right now. We were going to take a longer trip, but it became kind of a parent that it was starting

to be really hard on um, our sweet dog Lou who was like, what is happening? Yeah. The whole time she was like, what the fuck is this? Um, so uh, we sort of cut it short, but it ended up being great. So we stopped in uh, middle of nowhere in Nebraska. Ooh, JR are talking. Mm-hmm.

Uh, we uh, like made some stops along the way, but didn't sleep any like we stopped in Iowa for a second stopped in Nebraska somewhere else and then our like big stays were Boulder, Colorado, which I loved and then Moab Which I loved and then Zion which and that was like our big Splurge was an Airbnb and Zion that was like our big splurge, was an Airbnb and Zion. That was like a glamping experience. Wow, that's cool. I heard. It was so beautiful.

I've heard that's the prettiest of national parks. JPC, I know you've been to a lot of national parks. Would you say that that's the best? Yeah, and I recommended that my, I went with my brother and him and his wife went out like maybe a month or two ago and they said that the lines, you have to like, it's a, there's a limit of how many people could come in the park because COVID particles were still up.

They might not be at this point, but maybe they still are, I don't know. But he said the lines were like 250 people long for a limited number of spots to the park. So they went there and then they stayed for a couple days, but they couldn't get in one day. So then they like drove to to the park. So they went there and then they stayed for a couple days but they couldn't get in one day. So then they like drove to a different park. Imagine a society in the future

where you have to wait in line with 250 people for several hours to walk outside. Yeah, to see nature. We're learning it baby. What a night, wow, good commentary. It's a valley. So you have to go into the valley to kind of get into the national park. But yeah, it's I mean, it's got to be packed because it's so fucking wonderful there.

That's where our friend Brett Lyons proposed to his now wife. It's so cool. It's so beautiful. I can't recommend it enough. I'd really never I'd never been to Colorado. I'd never been to Utah before. And it was such a gorgeous drive. We were supposed to do Grand Canyon and then Joshua Tree on the way, but then like Lou started to, like she got sick when we were in Zion, we were like, we just gotta go. So we drove from Zion to Vegas,

and we were like, just planning on getting takeout somewhere in Vegas, because I'd never seen it before. But sure. Here's what I'll say, dogs love Vegas. Just planning on getting take out somewhere in Vegas because I'd never seen it before but sure Here's I'll say dogs love Vegas This is the problem we ran into and I came up with the absolute mean of solution Can I tell you guys something that I'm not proud of? Sure, yeah, okay? I this is not I didn't like leave Lou in a car anything horrible like that so Lou had been in the desert for a few days

and had been sick. And so I was like, we should get her groomed right when we go to LA. And I'm sorry, this is Diamond Phillips or your dog. And Diamond Phillips. Okay, so you grew up in Diamond Phillips. Who is the most famous diamond Phillips? Oh, we did bring our dog.

Yeah, Lou Diamond Phillips was just shitting in the desert because they were super sick. I believe it. Just like you did in young guns. Yeah, so I was like, had this stroke of genius. I was like, why? I've never been to Vegas before. I would love to see a casino.

I want to go through the belagio. And so I found a pet smart that would groom Lou. So after the worst week of her life, driving away from her home. A little spa day. We might call it a spa day. She thought I was abandoning her in the middle of nowhere, Nevada. Sure.

And the eye contact she made with me when I was leaving her to get groomed was one of the most tragic moments of my life. She really thought I was leaving her there. Would you call it haunting? Yeah, oh yeah, for sure. I can't stop thinking about it. But she really did need to be groomed. She's like very dusty.

So she got groomed and I walked into the belagio. The air in there is amazing. I want to go back. Yeah, I want to go back just for that. I actually know I'm like. Because I was back in Vegas for like 18 hours the other day. It was like right after you. But I went back.

So I was there for my birthday. And then I was back. I was there for my birthday for two days. And then I went back. I was there for my birthday for two days and then I went back. I would have been there Friday. I was there Friday. Why didn't we talk? I don't know.

But I was at the Cosmopolitan the whole time. You could have watched the live. I had a wicked spoon buffet, which was very good. Oh, that's a tough one. Well, I want to go back maybe from my 30th birthday party. So it's a good thing. Will you, want to go back maybe from my 30th birthday party. So, if you can say it. Well, 30th famously, we're going to Hawaii. Oh, Hawaii and Vegas.

Hawaii and Vegas. Yeah, they have a Hawaii and Vegas stuff. They have a Paris there. Aaron, will you, I'm going to, in July some time, I can't remember when, I'm going to Colorado for the first time to go to Red Rocks to see Guester. Oh, that's a blast. So if you want to come.

I mean, yeah, I love Guster. You know, I love Guster. So did you, did you bet, did you place any bets? Did you get them? I did. What'd you do? Well, it was awesome. And I, I felt something changed.

I could like hear my, my pupils getting bigger when I want like so we were like all right We are only gonna like $50 each we're gonna put a hundred dollars on the roulette like we're gonna play and what we got Did a little chips and we ended up like $250 extra up whoa We sat down with a hundred and we left with like 300 and something. And I'm different now. And now I want to gamble all the time. It was thrilling and the air in there was good. And I was like, oh, I get it. Then they bring you free drinks?

Yeah, I was like, yeah, yeah. I might turn into a Vegas person. And so lose still there. I will have no money. Yeah, lose still there. I did have no money. Yeah, lose still there. I did feel, we walked her around PetSmart because dogs are allowed in there and we let her pick whatever toy she wanted

because we felt so guilty. Dogs are allowed in PetSmart? Yeah. Yeah, there's a guy who's like, hey, dogs are allowed in here. So, look at the name on the store. Oh, PetSmart, my bad, my bad. It was really fun and then I made it to LA and I love my place and I got a haircut today

I got eight inches off. I did become clear to me when I was walking around here I was like, oh, I look like I'm from Chicago. I have a very different vibe as soon as I came on screen for for our soundcheck I Was screaming with joy air in your hair looks the best at several looks. That color is amazing. It's a super dark red and it's very short. And I love it, but I got here and I was like, I look like Snow White, Smudge, Sick, or Cousin. And I need to start to look more awake and alive

because everyone here looks so healthy. You look like hipster gene gray is what I was saying. I'm so happy! Well, you know, I get that you are just arrived in LA. You know that it was summertime in Chicago when you left. You had an opportunity to go outside. It was summer. Gets a bite of a D.

Illinois? Yeah, yeah. Chicago, Illinois. Yeah, for sure. Oh, okay. Well. Also, before you left, I, yeah, you got illinois. Yeah, for sure. Oh, okay. Um Well, before you before you left, I could have hooked you up with so much dog anxiety medicine I'm still a dog exactly. Oh, yeah, it works. You just got to take more of it Cuz you're what you're like are you like a 50 pound dog 60 pound dog?

Yeah, I'm like a 50 pound dog Lou and let's do some dog medicine talk, really? Sure, sure. She has anxiety meds, and she has meds for driving in the car, but we've done a lot of roadtrips with her, and we have found that makes her more anxious, because she fights the sleep, and it makes her back legs numb, so it makes her scared to get in and out of the car. So we went with no meds, and so in the car, she was fine. But every time we'd get to a new hotel or a location,

she was like, what is happening? Are you guys about to leave me somewhere? The suck, I'm scared. Has she, do you think she's adjusted to that the fact that this is where you're going to be now? Like, does she know, does she comfortable in the space? We couldn't believe it. I got pretty emotional.

She seems like the happiest here than she's ever been anywhere. That's great. And we lived in River North on the 10th floor before. So we had a balcony that she was obsessed with going out on, but now we have tons of windows and we're on the second floor. So she's just been in dog heaven looking at squirrels. Well, dogs go heaven. I do want to say it was said in a moment ago,

but I do have to take an opportunity just to plug to push my own wares. Actually, the first horror book I wrote since you've left Aaron is called She Fights the Sleep. It doesn't count. It comes out October 1st, so please look for She Fights the Sleep on. Is it two sentences?

On shelves inside my house. Yeah, of course. I think yeah, maybe go for a walk. I'd say I Am happy that I got to see you guys one more time Before I left we got to see each other for a couple hours Like a week and a half ago two weeks ago now. I don't know. Oh, we did we did a fancy little photoshoot Amazing, yeah, yeah, yeah, here and makeup done

I had the best time and I don't look natural in camera, so JPC for a while had to just keep making me laugh, which is a lot of pressure, and you did it. It was incredible. The director said, JPC make me laugh, and then it works. They were like, say something to make them laugh, and then we'll take a picture. I did that, and they were like, no, no, no, no, no. Just start when we say go, just laugh. And I'm like, well, why didn't you just wait until I finished

the thing, the joke? Well, I couldn't believe it. You're great under pressure at your impression. What was also funny is at one point, we did get a note to stop talking about people who have died because it was bugging everyone out. Oh, yeah. You can see it on our faces.

Yeah, I feel like we're... This is a happy photo shoot. Can you stop talking about funerals you've been to? And please just continue talking. We're so dysfunctional. We're talking about open caskets. And they're like, can you? Maybe lighten it up.

We were granted a very cool opportunity with very professional people. I think it was, we found out it was like chance the rappers photographer or something. And it was so professional. And we were absolute moronsons but they were very nice and hopefully it turns out okay yeah you guys I'm bringing this up I saw a lot of fucking tattoos on that set so I'm really sure how perfect I'm I'm only bringing

this up because I kind of want to apologize for it my Uber came and at all you were in the back bathroom and I simply didn't wait because I thought I would get too sad saying goodbye to you. So I pieced out, I was like, by GPC, and then I ran. You were down in the lobby, and I go, Aaron, I can give you a ride home if you want, and you go, I just called a new bird, and then you go, unless you want me to cancel it,

and I was like, well, whatever you want, like I'm, and you're like, do you want me to cancel it? And I'm like, and then I ran away. I'm trying to save you money girl. Nobody wants to give anything right. Let's just be clear about that. I've never wanted to give someone a ride. I'm speaking of giving because I have to.

Speaking of giving someone a ride, JPC also has some very big news, which is this past week. JPC myself and one Casey Tony went and saw the premiere of Fast and the Furious 9, F9 in 40X, which if you've never seen a movie in 40X, I can only describe it as watching a movie while sitting atop the most startled horse. They spray you in the face with rain, you're moving constantly. JPC, what is your review of F9?

I don't know. I couldn't tell you what happened in that movie, but I hear what I will say. I will never not see another movie in 40X. 40X is my future, it is my past, it is my everything, it is all consuming, it is the only way to experience a movie, it is the worst possible way to experience a movie, and therefore it is the greatest. I want to watch like a documentary, like what in 40X, or just like a romcom or something in it. A live birth.

It is so, the way it's like, we have to constantly be doing something otherwise people get bored. And it's like, we won't get bored. There's a movie playing, but they start the movie and immediately these giant flood lights flash and our seats rock and immediately JBC, as loud as it can, just goes, nope, we can lose that one.

Now I said we could lose that one when they shined lights directly at our eyes. I was like, I don't know who that's for. That's for no one. The blinking flashing lights in our eyes is for no one. Here's what I'll say about 40X. My review of 40X is this. They have this interesting technology

where they spray like scent at you. So it's like, you know, you're experiencing on this old factory level as well. But the synths didn't really correspond with what I was like experiencing in the theater. I thought that there would be more like, in my mind when I was like, oh, 40X, there's gonna be like burning tires and like engine, like that kind of sent, but they didn't use it very well. It just kind of like was sent. It wasn't like specific to the movie. I think that's a missed opportunity. I would love to see 40x get a little better at that

JBC. You know why you smelled burning tires Because that old factory burned down years ago. That's why they call it an old factory sense You guys on movie without me Aaron you were gone you were on the road Also, you you have a no Vin Diesel clause there. There's a show, I think it's a Disney word. Hey, there's somebody saving these a clause. Oh, who wouldn't drive for fam? Vindiesel, we've discovered JPC and I in case he talked over. Vin Diesel is a sentient olive garden. He really is. He really is. Oh wait, you guys made jokes without me?

I hate this. No, no, we made jokes about you. No, I don't like it. I'm moving back. There's a show in Disney World called Mickey's Philharmonic 4D or something. And that's the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life, where there is smells and it's incredible. If you ever in Disney World, check out Mickey's Philharmonic. I believe that's what coolest thing I've ever seen in my life where there is smells and smell like yeah, it's incredible

If you ever in Disney World check out Mickey's Philharmonic. I believe that's what it's called What I love about the Fast and the Furious movies at this point is that Vin Diesel is a 50-year-old man Now it's Hollywood and that's you know he's he looks great for a 50-year-old man But just the shit that he does you just have to remember that's a 50-year-old man Like that guy who's like falling out of a helicopter through helicopter blades, like landing on concrete, 50 year old man. I'm 32 and it hurts to wake up.

So it's like, yeah, what are you gonna be at 50? I've been thinking that I have the pain of a six year old. So I go like, what am I gonna be, I'm gonna be in a lot of pain at 50 or 60. Oh man. Every time I sleep in these and doing a stunt, I just imagine be in a lot of pain at 50 or 60. Oh man. Every time I see Wendy's doing a stunt, I just imagine Wilford Brimley doing it. Cause I'm like,

Wilford Brimley was 50 when he did cocoon. And worked ancient. We, Aaron, I know you've been traveling, I know you've been gone, we haven't seen you in a week or more. I'm ready to do Reddles. Is that what you've got to say? Yeah, we're still a Riddle podcast unfortunately. So I do have some warm-up riddles

We'll maybe get into our main course riddles in the second half and let's we get to get through these pretty quickly So here are some these are called odd man out So I'm gonna give you a few words or few items in a list and you have to tell me which one doesn't fit With the others and why it does not fit is this an honor of of Aaron being the odd woman out now that she's out in LA? Uh-huh. Oh, exactly. Wait, you guys saw a movie without me? Okay, so the first ones are Jefferson, Madison, Monroe, Buchanan, and Carter, Monroe, Buchanan, and Carter, which is the odd one out. Carter.

Carter. Okay, Carter, why? Pussy. Carter is, say, a pussy. What do you want him to like to have a peanut? William. Get Carter. Get him.

Yeah, fucking get him. Kill him, JPC. One term ass mother fucker get bit I want to see a scene I'll be playing a new president elect and this is this will be a fictitious president in like the 1800s Aaron and JPC you are just just like hardcore You are just like hardcore hecklers at the inaugural inauguration. Gotcha. Thank you citizens of the United States. I stand upon this podium. Why aren't you wearing a coat?

Because it's January. Okay, okay. I should have led with that. Where let me take off my shoes and be like the Pope and be humble and connected to the earth with my bare feet. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm have led with that Where let me take off my shoes and be like the Pope and and be humble and connected to the earth with my bare feet there I'm like when your shoes on you're gonna get sick. Okay, okay Mixed messages. Let me put my one shoe on up with one shoe on one shoe off And this is a fun parlor game now the years 1814 and of course we have many troubles in America

But I am here to tell you I was about to fall to the right, huh? I'm good dude! Oh, you have no qualms, no issues, nothing you'd like me to fight for you for? I own four horses and a seal! Okay! My biggest issue right now is you're not wearing a coat and you're only wearing one shoe. You're gonna get a coat, you're gonna get sick and penicillin doesn't exist yet. What's penicillin?

Exactly! Well, we need advances in the medicine because we all know that there are plagues sweeping across the world and we need to protect ourselves. Now, I- A TOO! Bless you. In the wind, it traveled to you, so careful. What's your position on Bofa? Bofa.

Let me check my notes here. Bofa. British Organization for Animals. Bofa is good. Now all animals must be protected, especially horses and seals. This guy knows what I'm talking about. We need to conserve animals and put them in zoos and fake habitats to where they feel like they're in nature, but we control what they eat and do at all times.

Bofa, these nuts! Excuse me? You were supposed to say what's bofa? What's boofa? Bofa, these nuts! Well my notes said that it's the British organization for animals. Yeah, that's also very important to actually like your answers on that, especially owning four horses in a seal.

What's the same? I saw a photograph and I screamed for six days. Can you make sure nothing like that ever happens again? Well, it's new technology and of course we have cinemas where trains look like they're coming right at us. No What they're not they've hit my horses Or a seal no seals us it come to the movie. Oh, and what's the seal name? Both Both what? What's Bofa?

Bicell. These not sin. Yeah he got a cold and that president was only president for 12 hours. Yeah was that William Henry Harrison or someone? Benjamin. Benjamin Harrison got some pneumonia. Yeah. Because he talked too long on the cold. The old sack of shit. He was only in the office for 34 days that he died in the cold and would often do his prayer. He's the only president from Indiana where a bunch of heck more losers.

That's the Indiana National Anthem. That's our state song. Is Mariah gonna walk down the aisle to that? Yeah. She's actually run, run the to walk down the aisle to that? Yeah. She's just run the other way down the aisle to that. Open the door and I'll be there. Married. Isn't the Indiana State bird a dead bird? Okay, so Jefferson, Madison, Monroe, Buchanan, and Carter. There's five names here,

which is the odd one out, and why? Did we have the right answer? What was the guess again? Carter. Carter, and why? No, but tell me if it's right, and then I'll tell you what. You were wrong. Okay, then it's wrong. You can, and.

Yeah, so you have Jefferson? Yes. Madison. Madison. Oh, I'm sorry. these are the most popular baby. Madison. Madison. In 2021, Jefferson, Madison, Monroe, Buchanan, and Carter.

Oh, Jefferson. That is correct. Can you tell me why? Everybody else has a J name and he's got a T first name. That is correct. The, um, Jefferson was an odd man out. Jefferson's first name was Thomas. All the other presidents were named James.

I would like to see. Oh, if they're all named James. Jimmy Carter is James Carter. Yeah. I'd like to see a scene. You two, Adel, you are a dad who was president. This is like a George Bush senior in junior situation. You're trying to convince your son, JPC, to become president and follow in your footsteps.

Okay son, I know that you have your own ideas of what you want to do, but the reason I got you into Harvard and the reason I got you into the Skolan Bones Club, Seeker Society, was. So that you could one day fulfill your legacy, which is to ascend to the highest position in the United States. Look, Dad, I don't want to disappoint you. And frankly, I loved jerking off into that coffin, uh, with those other guys. Pretty fun, huh? Pretty fun. But that's what was, I was in it for that.

Dad, I mean, that's my life. Like, when I was was drinking off into that coffin surrounded by other like Nick Admin or whatever The school of bone stuff does you probably felt like a sperm count what I felt like was a star. Oh dad I have something to tell you yes. I Have been doing porn Oh at this golden bones exclusively no, I've been branching off, I've been making my own porn, it's actually super empowering, I really, really love it. Now, I would, I know that you keep the families legacy and you're in a very high regard, so I have not been using my name, I've been using a assume name.

Smart, smart, what is your, what is your stage name for porn? Tony Jackhammer. Okay. Which I get it. I get it. That is you're still a last name president Jackhammer. I get it. But Tony is not my name. My name is Anthony. So I don't think anyone would ever, whatever put two and two together. Son, I'm mostly disappointed that Jackhammer was right there and you decided to shoehorn in one extra name. No, man, Jackhammer. Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi. Hot mics, your mics are hot, your hot mic.

Oh. Huge fan of yours. Huge fan of yours. Which one of us? The president or the porn star? Tony. I didn't really, I wasn't a huge fan of your policies. You're kind of a bummer.

Mission accomplished. No, no, no, no. But you are a fan of my policies, right? Yeah. Everybody comes. I get it, I get it. It's very cool, I love no, no, no, no, but you are a fan of my policies, right? Yeah, everybody comes I get it I get it's very cool. I love it very well You my banners had mission accomplished and I know you were in a film called missionary accomplished Hey, so your mic is still hot. Oh, is it is it gonna burn me? No, I'm old. I don't know

I love that you try to keep up with my work dad. It's actually missionary accomplished Uh, oh was the title of the film. Okay. You didn't see it. I didn't have my glasses. Yeah, okay So all of the skull and crossbones are here because they're mad that you called it a club Wait, the skull and crossbones are here the pirate egg. Yeah, what is it the skull and what? Well, where are there some skull and bones? Yeah, what is it the skull and what? Well, where do we have the skull and bones? We go with the skull and bones of blood. So there's three things. There's the skull and bone society.

Yes. The skull and bones club and then there's the skull and cross bones. I'm sure there's more than three things. Well, at Shrincer has the cross skulls and bones. See? All I know is my uncle. And this is true. My uncle, when he was at Yale, said no.

Is that a Yale? I think I might be a Yale secret society. This guy on bones one. Uh, yeah, it might be in my head. Uh, my uncle went there and he said no to them and then they like harassed him. Whoa. He was captain of the football team there and then they were really mean to him when he said no. And your uncle was Paul Walker.

Mm-hmm. Aaron's in a well. Speaking of wells, well, we should probably go to commercial and hear about all the dog medication that you should be buying and we'll be right back with more Reddles. Reddles! Reddle, Reddle, Reddle! Reddle, Reddle, Reddle! Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle,

Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle, Reddle Hey GPC. Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Addle.

And I'm setting up a whole website to prank him. Um, can I just need some advice? This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Addle. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website.

It engaged with your audience and said let me think for products to cut into time all in one place all on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here. Come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch, you can easily sell

custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money What is happening? Okay, um wait, what's going on with that? Oh? Nothing nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal square space website not a prank thing new He's gonna do you and I'm gonna use analytics use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm going to improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords,

our popular products and content on my prank website, the prank site. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. Prank. Remember what's the website for? Prank. Square space. You can connect to your store to Vedent Dirt Party tools to extend the functionality of your website.

Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey, Aaron.

Hey, Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adel and JPC. Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an impasse. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that?

They're never truly is a middle of the woods. No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually. So as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s,

but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You've seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices, and the path forward isn't always clear.

Whether you're dealing with decisions around career, relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Mm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible,

and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works, way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods,

even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, GPC's putting down bread crumbs,

and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Dirty bread crumbs. Mm-mm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. He's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp.

H-E-L-P dot com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the L.I.P. and the two D. I am home. Who are we? I, uh, clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I just want to make a quick toast to, uh, I know it's

J.P. I think, I think, excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Bunny. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps you

lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, uh, sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you and for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel.

And rock it money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Clint, Clint, Clint. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks over three million. Well, Clint, Clint, Clint, over three million people have used rocket money saving the average person up to 720 dollars a year. We love rock. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. No, click, click, click, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwirted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way

by going to rocket money.com slash riddle. That's rocket money.com slash riddle. That's rock at money.com slash riddle. Rock at money.com slash riddle. And tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money. The website. Click like, click like, clickPC. Aaron, Lou the dog. Spick out of the dog. Now we're fine. This is part two of this American life. Hey, we're the little. You know what? I know I got it now. It sounds like a mouse doing the impression of Ireglass. And for the mouse, it's like 10 out of 10. The mouse has it. But for Addle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You see what I'm saying.

I love my supportive friends. Let's do a few more. Hey, I didn't even acknowledge that you spoke. Aw, thank you, you're right. That's the best supportive. That's the best supportive friend can give. Let's do a few more odd men out and then we'll get into some full course riddles love it

The next one we have is hey HA why hey okay jackpot Star and breaks hey jackpot star and breaks Who do we think Cyan man out and Aaron you're just in. So Jackpot should be a very familiar term to you right now because that's when they say when you hit a number in roulette, they say jackpot. So these are all famous ringos. Ringo jackpot, ringo, hey.

Hey, ringo. No, hey, jackpot star and brakes. And famously, hey, Jude is for horses. Mm-hmm. This is tough. These are all, most of these are things that you'd find inside a box of lucky charms. Oh, my lucky, hey, lucky breaks.

Is it a word that you add to them? Aaron, you are correct. Well, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, correct. Well, it's a, it's a, Ish. It is, there's a word that goes along with all of them. Yeah. And it's like an action. It's an action that's one word that happens to all of them, except for one.

And one of them is shooting. Shooting jackpot. One of them is jackpot, right? Hey, jackpotpot star and breaks So these are all things you blank and It's one word hit hit. Yeah, hit the hey hit the jackpot You don't hit the star and you hit the brakes you don't you do

I the first thing I did when I moved to Los Angeles is I got a bat and I went to Bruce Willis' star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and I beat the shit out of it. So he just hangs out at his Hollywood star? Yeah, and I went, hey Bruce, look at this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I went, my star's gonna replace that Bruce Willis.

I'm gonna remake the kid and whatever the fuck else You were in I want to see harder whatever I want to see a scene, but JBC had something he wanted to say Oh, no, I was gonna say if you had to destroy one star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame And it can't be freaking Donald Trump. That's been done. I think they were moving because it kept being defaced Anyway, you have to destroy one star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Which star you fucking take it out? Adam West cuz he had his time Move over Adam West. It's some other Batman Stern put give Robert Pattinson a star give Kanye West a chance Aaron, what do you think? I mean, I

Anyone who's kind of a shitty person I would I would remove it, but yeah, but you only get one and there's so many of them I know I know I really do think it would be funny to do it to Bruce Willis's So I want to see a scene Okay, nobody nobody cares. Oh, JPC. Who would you want to? I was waiting I was waiting it was PCF like oh Yeah, oh, yeah. It was KC. Get out of here KC.

You're lame. So I want to see you seen. The two of you were at a bar. I'll let you decide who's who. But one of you is a star celebrity. And the other one is hitting on this star or celebrity. Got it. Hey, I'm actually just here with my friends.

So I was wondering if you wanted to. Oh, fantastic. I love the best direction. I'm so sorry, I don't want to sign in the autographs. I'm out to dinner and I'm not a celebrity, so no one asked me, but you are. Okay, we're going to be one more of these odd man outs. I actually think that that would be a really strong power move. If you saw a huge celebrity like Brad Pitt out,

and you would just walk up to him and be like, hey, I'm so sorry, I'm not doing autographs tonight. So you're so nice. I love you. It's just not. I'm so sorry. I'm not doing autographs tonight. So You're so nice. I love you. I just it's just that I love my fans. I'm here. I'm here with my friends. I'm just trying to have a good show tonight. Thank you I think it's fine to to try and Act like they're someone who's like two levels of stardom below them. So you see Brad Pitt and you're like, oh, Skid all rich. Scream! You're great. And just see how they react. That would be amazing. Oh God. Or only know them from something like

that you should, like they should not be like, oh my God, you're the guy from, not not true lies. What's the, uh, film on Louise? Aren't you the, aren't you that fuckable guy from Thelma and Louise? There's a movie where he has like only one line in it. Is that Christian Slater movie that Quentin Tarantino wrote? Oh, yes, yes, yes, that is called, it's got Gary Oldman in it. It's called Rosemary's Baby. Yeah, true romance, true romance, true romance. I would love to walk him to Brad Pitt and be like, oh my God, you're in true romance. Yeah, I had one fucking line of that movie was 24. Okay, so here's the last odd man out.

Now the list consists of Oklahoma with an exclamation point, South Pacific, the sound of music and West side story. Aaron, this is a softball over the plate Aaron. This is gonna be like a Rogers and a Hammerstein Sting ding ding But I don't it's three of them are written by the same people, right? You're correct, but I couldn't tell you any more information than that. I know the type of This is you name the forgum. Yep the for Oklahoma Exclamation point South Pacific period the sound of music question mark Westside story

No West Side Story yes West Side Story is the odd men out. It was created by Leonard Burstein Stephen Sondheim Stephen Soundheim all the rest of musicals by Rogers and Jack Hammerstein Steven Soundheim, all the rest of musicals by Rogers and Jack Hammerstein. Those are pretty good. I was just talking about South Pacific the other day. I'm going to tell you a quick little story. Please.

So I was in that musical the summer between my fifth and sixth grade or no, sixth and seventh grade in this summer kids theater program called Kids Cabaret in Massachusetts. And you have to be between eight and 16 to be in the show. And one of my best friends, Connor, was 11 or 12 at the time, 12. And he got the lead, which was unheard of. He got 12 year old. He got the male lead in South Pacific, which is a 50-year-old man who sings basically opera. He does the summon chantative-ning. You may see a stranger or that one. So he's a 12-year-old boy singing that

with a 16-year-old girl playing the romantic lead. He had to have his first kiss on stage. It was one of the hardest. I've ever, like, we, I saw him right before I left, and I kiss on stage it was one of the hardest I've ever like we I saw him right before I left and I was like that was one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life is a 12 year old boy being like I'm very old he's supposed to be like 15 years older than her in the show and he's a child playing opposite a teenage girl and it's a three hour long musical and I gotta I gotta tell you guys. So in it

I played a sailor a male sailor. There's a while. I was playing like I was in the male ensemble for many of my summers there. I was a pirate and pirate's pincant I was the male sailor and I got to be in the song. There's nothing like a dame Classic musical theater song a bunch of sailors talking about how horny they are Mm-hmm. I, a 12-year-old girl, had the horneest line as my solo. It was my first solo on stage in a musical, in a full musical, and my lyric that I sang as a 12-year-old girl. Can I guess? Yes, go ahead. And I'd like to suck a booby.

Kind of your clothes Was that from Aladdin Aladdin yeah, um, I think yours would be So this is you said this was a kind of gross or kind of dirty. Yeah, just like 1940s sailor I'm gonna pick it back off JPCs and I'm gonna say I need six boobs. That's too expensive I'm gonna piggyback off JPCs and I'm gonna say I need six boobs. That's too expensive. Pretty good. Yes. Okay. Okay. My line was we've got every kind of feeling but the feeling of relief. And I said that in front of my town. That's like an exedering commercial. Yeah. After I said it got like knocked to the ground for like comedic defect and it was my fucking nightmare

Because I was like I got to commit hard because I am an actress, but also I am trying to get kissed I want people to have a crush on me Sure, dress like a male sailor and everyone else looks cute and I'm saying we've got every kind of feeling But the feeling of relief oh Aaron and famously, I don't know if this is news to our listeners, but famously you've never been kissed And you actually went back to that high school your high school and you pretend to be a teenager and you made out with the baseball coach That was a movie is starting Drew Barry And John she rally

I Will also say Indiana and Indiana where especially where I went to school We did not have like a summer musical camp for kids, but what we did have was a really, really, really good bully relocation program. So you would just put your name into a big hat. If you're in between the ages of 12 and 16, they would find a local bully for you. And then that bully would just make your life hell for the foreseeable future. So we kind of skipped ahead.

We were a little bit more advanced to the sounds like the message you said. So we went directly to the source. I like that. And I want to see a scene. The two of you are in a, we'll say like grade school production of a show. OK.

You're both very young. But the content of the show is very much adult themed. And you're two young actors struggling to make it through this show that you have no business doing. Okay. I guess I just feel like when you're the phantom of the opera that you're a lot like,

it just doesn't feel motivated by anything when you sing to me. And I'm not trying to give you a note or anything, but like you get it, right? I think it would be helpful. Can we just we just want the scene from the top? We just maybe one dollar okay, okay I got a wetter the mail today Diane The doctor said you had an abortion You opened my mail? Oh shit, I was just walking by, but these kids are doing phantom of the opera.

You opened my mail? It was out on the counter, I am. Okay, it's not like I went through it, looking to find this fucking information. I made a choice for a family. We don't have a family thanks to you. This is Dauk. Now, I'm gonna go to the opera. I'm gonna get good at Dwuk and I'm gonna start a fire.

Don't follow me. I wonder if they're gonna sing any of the songs. Wishing you were somehow here again. Thinking I was somehow here again. Thinking I was somehow here. I don't know the words. I don't think they can tell that I don't know the words. Here I am at the art point. It is late and And I'm drunk!

My wife died And she put weight in me And so, I will end it all! I don't think I teach a nose what Phantom of the Apoah is! See! Perfect! Let's get into some full riddles! knows what Phantom of the Opera is. See. Perfect. Let's get into some full riddles. Here we go.

Full riddles. What, what, what, full, full riddles? Kevin was sitting alone at a table in his favorite diner. All of a sudden, he yelled, Frank Ferdur. He was served a hamburger. Kevin was pleased. Oh man, this is sad.

He's alone in his favorite diner, which means he probably eats here alone a lot. Uh huh. Can we read it again? Yeah. Yep, Kevin was sitting alone at a table in his favorite diner. All of a sudden he yelled,

Frank Furter, he was served a hamburger. Kevin was pleased. You shouldn't be yelling at a wait staff in a diner. I mean, I don't care if it is your favorite if you're a local. Like, you can say please, you can wait for them to ask you if you like something. You don't need to be yelling at them.

They're making like, what, like $2 a fucking hour plus tips in Kevin, by the way, doesn't sound like the type of guy who tips. Yeah, you can also just say, you can also just say, can I get the check? You don't have to sky write it with a pen in the air. Just say I want the check. You don't need to do that little thing with your finger where you

dip down and then flick back up. We get what a check is, but just ask me like a human being. You don't need to point out that. Wow, you guys a bunch of waiters just came running to your house. You summoned them. Oh, oh, oh, fuck, I mean, you just brought me a bunch of checks. I can't pay this. I'm ruined. Uh, Frank Ferder is the name of the waiter. Frank Ferder is the name of his friend. Aaron just walked in. I don't know what the heir in LA is doing to you, but you nailed it. Frank Ferder was the waiter's last name. Kevin ordered a hamburger and that was what he was served. He always called Tom Frank Ferder the waiter by his last name when he ate at that diner. Can you imagine?

I like the face. I like the face. Yeah. Who the fuck knows a waiter's last name? Maybe the waiter itself. Waiters family itself. I bet his name's the waiter. Though the waiter's last name.

Sounds like a Samuel Beckett play. I feel like the waiter had like Tom on his name tag. And Kevin was probably like, hey Tom, if I can Tom Frankfurter, come over here. Like he probably assigned it and the waiter had like Tom on his name tag and Kevin was probably like hey Tom with a fucking Tom Frank Fordirk come over here like he he probably assigned it and the waiter was too polite to correct him I will say I was a prependemic. No, this is kind of sad. I was a regular from prependant. Thank you so much I was a regular at a restaurant for six years. I would go every Sunday And I missed some but for six years. I knew everybody's name who worked at that restaurant. This was Big Trix. I didn't know it. While this was Tweet, I knew it was Tweet. You told me that,

and Tweet, I used to live right by Tweet, I loved Tweet. Love it. A fucking fantastic place, still open. I just stopped eating indoors, obviously. But I didn't know a single person's last name. I knew everyone's name, I didn't know a single person's last name. I didn't know a single person's last name. I knew everyone's name, I didn't know a single person's last name. Where everybody knows your first name, sometimes you want to go. That's the song, right? What do you do? From what?

I mean, do you just ask people for their last name? Like if you're at a restaurant the way they're saying, Hey, I'm Devon, you're like Devon, what's your last name? Dev what? You're like, give me for me. I'm not giving you that. I'd like to see a scene. Where? Yes, please. What For me I'm not getting you that I'd like to see a scene. Yes place

Addle you were at a like a small town diner and you think you are like an absolute delightful Charming regular who has like a great rapport with the staff and JBC You're just like trying to get through your shift and you think that this is kind of bullshit sure Wow, who's so great to be back at Tutipood. Let's sidle up to my favorite stool here at the counter. Ding ding. Ha ha. Service please.

Hey. Hey. Hey, so good to see you again. Oh my gosh. It is you. Grim, Grimlin. Grim, Grim, Grim. Grim, Grim Sloan. Yeah, it's Grim, Grim, Grim, Slone.

Yeah, it's Graham. Yeah, just Graham on the on the tagger. You won? Are you won for today? Well one unless you count the marshmallows and chocolate I'm gonna put on your head you cracker. What? Graham, like Graham like the cracker. We're running on a little bit of a weight But yeah, I guess if you want to use the bar you want to sit the bar I guess I sat on this guy's lap. Sorry. I'm just this is just my stool no it's fine by me oh that's verb count uh well uh yeah why did you grab this stool over here we're we're we're here okay um grand man i'll take the use yeah i'll take the use with a side of the more the more use

Okay, yeah, I'm I'm like a month and a half in so I I don't know what the use is so do you want to menu or can I can you just tell me what Come on what you like the usual I want I want pancake stepped inside of waffles Stepped inside of waffles Okay, I mean you call them popfuls member or someone calls on popfuls Is this a jitter puts normally when someone wants the usual out of place It's not like an off-minu order. That's confusing for the way stuff I guess I'm driving through this town and I've never been here before Yeah, oh, I know what's going on and I've never been here before. Um... Yeah. Oh, I know what's going on. I once ate a tootsie pop.

Okay, I'm glad you know what's going on. Um... I can check with the chef to see if we can do a big thing stuff. Hey, buddy. Hey, I was here yesterday. Um, and I forgot my sunglasses. Uh, but it's so good to see you again. Oh, okay. Do you want me to look for your sunglasses or...

Oh, honestly, I came back in because I thought you and I had like the best time talking. I was here for like three hours, I thought maybe. Yeah, yeah, I'll give you your last name. Mmm, nope. I do remember you. we do have your sunglasses. We we just put them in the lost and found I can get those for you Can I also get a bunch of mashed up bottles to go? Okay Excuse me every one of the restaurant. Excuse me every one of the restaurant. This is this Graham

I haven't announced but to make this one of the vampires I don't know the rest of this is this Graham. I have an announcement to make. Yes, I want to the vampires. Oh, yeah, this should be good. They're huge. I want to speak please, please. Hey, everybody, look, I know that I am an above average looking person in a town that is a very, it's a very pass through town,

right? You're a Bismarck 9. Yeah, I get that I, thank you, babe. I get that I get gathering a lot of attention from people in the restaurant, but I just wanna make a general announcement that I'm at work, okay? We are not friends, we're just in a work relationship.

And it's never gonna be more, because I have my colleagues, and that's enough for me. I'm not really looking for anything romantic right now. Did he say his colleagues or his colleagues? My colleagues, I have my two colleagues. I still can catch it. He loves us. We did it every time.

We just got away from the grand. Sometimes you to go to To you don't crack her mother fucker seen Oh delightful well, let's do another riddle here if my last name was cracker I Would name my child Graham. How do you not there's the only one first name for that. I think Graham is a really great name too. So I'm really losing. I knew a guy in high school whose last name was Graham and I can't think of like Graham is one of those names that is a last name to me.

Hmm. Okay. Well then I can't change your mind and I'm not going to. That's an uphill battle I cannot win. Here's another riddle. Kevin, the college student, was relieved when he received a letter telling him that his college loan was forgiven by the bank. Two months later, Kevin was in big trouble for not paying the money owed. What's going on? Marvin Gaye, what's going on? They emotionally forgave him. They should do that. Hey, this is pizza. Just gonna let you know that we emotionally forgive you for your balance. You still owe it, but at home. But we actually decided to let it go. Over here, it was kind of weighing on us. We were super stressed out about your debt. But you know what? We are just trying to like go with some of the stuff we can't control.

Because your negativity is not visas negativity. It's not Visa's negativity. Just so you, we just need you to understand that. Hi, this is Tom with Visa. Are you mad at us? Did we do something? Cause you're not paying your balance. Are you upset? Hey, just checking in.

I'm trying to not be such a people-plaser, but gosh, it really, it's not any of your personal. Hey, this is Jeff from Visa Calling. Okay, so it's a minimum payment, but you can pay more than that. I don't know if you're doing this to hurt me or to get it back in your... Yeah, I'm here again, I'm sorry. Uh, have I called too much? I feel like I've called too much.

Let me know if I called too much. Okay, call me back. Bye. Hey, this is Tomavisa. I swung by and rang the doorbell and nobody answered, but I felt like I heard someone I heard a creek at the door So if you're there open the door. Okay, bye bye. Hey me again Your credit score is always changing so you can keep checking it if you want to it's like it's a free resource for you And again, I decided to get drunk and go out with my friends. I actually don't even need

Whatever this is so have fun pay off like medical dad or fucking whatever. I don't even care Hey, it's Tom again We got a notice that you're trying to consolidate your debt that you also have with chase I don't know if I don't know who chases. I don't want to know But just let me know if this is real, because if so, it hurts and call me back. Hey, me again. Who the fuck is MasterCard?

See. Who the fuck? Let me read it one more time. Kevin and the college student was relieved when he received a letter telling him that his college loan was forgiven by the bank. Two months later, Kevin was in big trouble for not paying the money owed.

Is this different money owed? Did the letters say like, your debt is forgiven by the bank because we this other company have bought your debt from the bank, which is something that happens. And then they sent a letter being like, you still owe us the money, motherfucker. It just changed that.

He transferred to schools. He didn't pay the interest. He didn to schools. He didn't pay the interest. He didn't pay. He, I'm running away. I'm running away. No. You can't get a little window. I'm sorry.

All you have is that Kindle. There can't be more than 10 books on there. You'll get bored. Yeah, I put my Kindle on a stick. I threw it over my shoulder. And I'm going to have from train to train. From train concert to train concert. Exactly. Okay. So what do we think? Those are all great guesses. They're not correct.

Okay. So Kevin went to college. We assumed temple always. Always. Relieved when he received a letter telling him his college loan was forgiven by the bank. Two months later, Kevin was in big trouble for not paying the money owed. So this is the same college, the same debt. So, um, good guesses, but there everything he said was not the correct answer in this instance. So is it that he got his loan forgiven and then took out another loan to go like do more college and that loan was what he didn't pay back? No, but JBC, you've just given me a really good idea, which is if you have college debt, go to the nearest church, go idea, which is if you have college debt,

go to the nearest church, go to confessional, hold up your college debt, and the priest has to forgive them, right? Your college debt may have to do some... Yeah, if you're Catholic, yeah. Some rose marries, sometimes some sage. Now we are all born with original debt. So if you weren't baptized,

you still have the debt that Jesus died for. That's what I did. My debt did three-hale marries and nothing happened and I'm in crushing medical and school-owned debt. I think that and I don't want to be too cross here because it's been a while since Catholic school. So if I'm getting this wrong, please correct me, gently correct me if I'm overstepping for Catholicism, but I believe that Jesus is dying words on the cross was, I'm forgiving $40,000 of student that if you make over $250,000 a year and have a peltrap, federal government, it's led to open a business in the minority community

and the next three months. Wow, I wanna see you seeing. Good job. You two are Adam and Eve, you're in the Garden of Eden and you're going over your monthly bills. Garden of Eden and you're going over your monthly bills. Okay. Okay. And so that is heating because it's pretty much just the air. So that's free. So we've got that covered. Okay. It seems like it's a lot of money on apples this last month. Oh my god. Yeah, I'm looking at the grocery bill.

It's like all apples. Who's eating all these apples? I don't know. What? Wait, you're not eating these apples? No, I'm not eating these apples. I'm not eating these apples. Fuck is it our tenant?

It's snake. Hey, snake. Snake, can you come out of your room? Yes, what's going on? We're going over our bills and it seems like we're been like over our budget on apples. Also, we don't wear clothes, we naked. So I don't know who is spending this much money at Nordstrom Rack on our card. Well, um, I mean, what is a banana hammock?

For so many of these on the list, what is that? Well, sometimes my whole body is a penis, so I need to sleep comfortably, so I buy the hammock for my body. And also, I'm not spending money on apples. I'm spending money on eight giggle bites of apple storage. Oh my god, that's why these are so fucking expensive. Yes. Yeah. Um, Snake, we love that you're staying with us. It's really fun and not weird at all. Until you get back on your one piece. Honey, don't, don't. I'm sorry, but yeah, but excuse me. It's been four months, Eve.

Okay. Excuse me. Snake, we've been meaning to talk to you about this. We think that maybe it's time for you to move out. We need to start populating the earth. So we'd like some privacyivacy. Also we naked. So it's embarrassing. Oh, about that. Why don't you take a bite of an apple? Hey, Snake, why don't you go back to lizard and just apologize, okay? She threw me out. Well, did she throw you out because you were buying a bunch of apple computers

and not apologizing? And maybe if you would try to fix the situation, maybe that would work. Well, it's not that I bought the computers. It's that I hid them in my she shed. OK, we tried to be a friend, but now that you're with us, we were like trying, we're starting to understand why she kicked you out in the first place. You're pretty inconsiderate. You're cold-blooded.

Wow. You don't care about other people. Oh, this is a lot to swallow, and I'm a snake, so that's a lot. Well, unhinge your jaw and listen to what we have to say, because we don't think you're a bad person, Snake. We just think you're on a bad path, and we think it's time that you... Okay, I mess up and learn. Can I just say I'm feeling so much shame right now? Um, so much shame. So much shame that I want you to put these on here put these on

I bought these for you. These are from Jake crew. Um, I'm with stupid. Yes. Now that's linen. That was eighty four dollars. Um, you eighty four dollars for a banana. Yes, and the arrow points upwards to God. So God is stupid. I'm with stupid right because he created you. Now, Eve, I don't mean to burst your bubble, but you technically are the first barbeque right? What? Does that make sense? Well, I don't know if God told you you're from his um... Oh you believe the rib joke? God got drunk once and he I was like God please like please tell me how you like made me

and he was like you're from his rib and we all laughed so hard because that would be insane. Oh is that where the term ribbing someone comes from? Exactly. Yeah. It was a show. Ribbed for her pleasure thing. I hope nobody takes that out of context later and decides that women are less. I have a whole line of clothing that just says women is barbecue. Okay. Snake get out. Get out snake. Well we're already out the horse. Well yeah, and by the way, you're heating the whole neighborhood. That's why you're heating so offensive. Mother of God. Seed. Let's solve this riddle and then we'll be done. Snake am I heating all of the apples?

So Kevin College student was relieved when he received the letter telling him his college loan was forgiven by the bank two months later Kevin was in big trouble for not paying the money owed So what's going on is Kevin is basically a dumb dumb he received something in the mail He misunderstood it and that's what's going on. So what do we think the misunderstanding was? So this is just a this is just he received a letter in the mail that says loans were forgiven But that wasn't actually the case. That's what we're dealing with now. Well, it was a lie in the riddle.

What was it a lie? It was just a miss a misunderstanding. And my hint for you. You read it wrong. He he maybe didn't read it wrong, but he didn't do it. It wrong. He's a good wrong. Well, the exact wording is the answer. Oh, but his loans had been forgiven. You just asking for you to repeat. Yes, he received the letter telling him that his college loan was forgiven by the bank. So that's not exactly what it said, but it said something that where he interpreted it to mean that my hint for you in terms of that phrase is Europe. Europe, his band Europe, the band Europe is the yep. Uh, so was this just something that he read in the heat of the moment? Um, no, I thought I thought I'd get a little more for a Europe reference.

No, that's Asia shit. Well, it's another continent. Yeah, it's about to happen. What did it say? What did it say? The letters sent from the bank had said, this is your last notice. Oh. Kevin thought he no longer had to pay because no notices would be coming. So it turns out, Kevin Dumb. Got it. Okay, I understand. That little sucks, but I do get it.

Well speaking of getting at JPC, do you have anything that you would like to plug? JPC's got it, and if you want to get it, you can go over to twitch.tv slash shark bark. When you watch Mi Play Video, I'm streaming most every day of the week. Also, go and listen to the Bill Buds pop cast. You can find that anywhere pop casts are found. Just to Google the words, Bill Buds, and we review pop music. Aaron, anything that you would like to plug? Yes. I would like to plug my Instagram, Aaron, key 10, and here's the deal. So, in the last week, I started going back and responding to some of the Instagram messages that I've been

getting. And I do this thing where I write a draft of each one of my notes because I have a anxiety, and that's what you have to do. And my Instagram deleted like over 50 messages that I've received and I had written the responses to them. So if you have sent me a message in the last like two or three months and I didn't respond to you, please re-send it. I probably have a response already typed out. I would like to get it to you.

So please re-send your message if I haven't responded. Thank you. And if you are still in line for the 2020 elections, stay in line. Your vote will still count. Addle anything to plug? Yes. I want to plug one of our good friends and maybe the tallest comedian I know. Ross Kimball has a new podcast called Good at Parties. I was recently on an episode talking about Sleep No More, one of my favorite things, one of my favorite theatrical experiences.

So please listen to my episode of Good at Parties. You can find it wherever you find podcasts. Where Ross and I talk about Sleep No More and it's a delight. Also, you can join me if you want to be closer to Animal, if you want to be some like, share something in common and become closer friends. You can join me in being a patron of Bill Buds and you get a ton of good bonus

content. Why wouldn't say a ton? You get maybe one episode every two weeks, but it's, it's, wait, it's only a dollar. Hold on. What? I've been listening to the same episode over and over. Aaron, now that you are in LA, and you're talking about destroying stars with bats, you also were talking about maybe blowing up a planet. Now, planet Hollywood is bankrupt, so you can't blow up them. Is there another planet you'd ever want to hit up or blow up?

I've been looking into it, and I think it's got to be edupe day. Bye forever. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, let me take that again. Okay. Bye forever. This is Ira Glass. Are you an alien? Oh, Ira Glass.

This is a little mouse. Pretend it'd be Ira Glass. Saying bye forever. This isn't Lil' Alien. Pretending to be a little mouse. Pretending Lil' Alien, pretending to be a little mouth. We're going back to be Irish. All right, hold on, guys, I have to take Irish glass to my leader.

Creepy. We have a robot. Sorry, Eric. We have a demon. And John Patrick calling. Casey Tony to the editing. We have our parents in the middle of the video. We have a demon.

We're going to be created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Nemora. Hey there, taxes and breaks. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. It's our latest entry to our Better No Estate series with Delaware. You can listen to that plus our entire Batcadilog at patreon.com-hayrittle-rittle by joining the Clue Crew for $5 a month or the Review Crew for $8 a month. See you then! Thank you.