Hey Riddle Riddle - #157: Can I Pitch a Podcast

Episode Date: July 21, 2021

This week's episode is action-packed with good times! Not only do you get an episode of Hey Riddle Riddle, but we all pitch our spin-off podcasts that are sure to be smash hits. All that plus the hottest new bar in NYC, customer service with murderous intent, a sure-fire case of the spoilers, a hot food delivery with quite the tip, and a wedding celebration that everyone was expecting. It's #WiddleWednesday so you know what that means!Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. Hi, is this JPC? Well, this is JPC's phone. Hi, I'm Erin. I am the school nurse here at Heyrtle Riddell. Adults, he's sick and he wants you to come pick him up. Come pick me up. He drank all my juice boxes and he has no fever. In fact, he is the perfect temperature, but he says he's sick.

I have an old mill cream pie stuck in my throat. Okay, I have a big presentation in about 15 minutes. I mean, I can, I can reschedule it, but it's a big presentation. So are we really sure he is really sick? Well, he says he has a cream pie stuck in his throat, but I think he just is trying to get out of doing reddit. Don't say it like that. Don't word it that way. What? Word it what way?

I didn't hear it. I'm just going to say, what's he trying to just suck down a cream pie real quick and got it stuck in his throat? I'll just walk home. I'll just walk home. I'm going to walk home. I'm going to walk home. I'm going to walk it. I'm a woman Was he trying to just suck down a cream pie real quick and got it suckers throat? I'll just welcome. I'll welcome At lunch today he sucked down a cream pie No, I won and then hey, I'm good and I thought honestly

I think it's because he has riddles right after lunch and you wanted to get out of it Let me real quick. Let me go ahead and Google see if we can find a quick weapon do solutions So let's see. No, please don't. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, really something I feel comfortable doing with my son. Okay, well You know what I'm just gonna send it back to riddles. We cut to the video What do you have in your lunch today? Oh meal cream pie gonna eat it real fast. No wait. Oh, no Addle you were at the Rittle nurse for a long time, but you're back and now we can do, hey, Riddell, Riddell. Hey, now, okay, buddy.

Hey, buddy. I'm feeling a little under the weather, but aren't we all because we all live under the sky? He he he, I'm a clever little 14 year old boy. I think you were trying to avoid us. I think you were trying to avoid Riddell's. Why would you try to get out of doing the show, Adel? It's fun.

Because I'm the only one on the show that gets a grade after every show That's not true. Casey gets a grade two. It's just always a failing grade I get graded in feelings and colors. Oh, you're like a Montessori school Yeah, JBC will be like you did yellow today And for all of you out there in the riddlelerverse wondering how genuine and sincere is this bit that they do constantly about hating the show? And I gotta say 10 out of 10.

We don't like it here. 10 out of 10 what? There's invisible forces keeping us here. We want to leave, but we can't. I don't want to say, do you like doing Hey, Riddler with Adel and JPC? I say, I don't know who that is. I don't know who that is. You block it out.

It's almost like the Manchurian candidate. Whenever you're shown a riddle, you're trying to kill the president. But otherwise, you just lead a normal life in total bliss. I'll never forget this. When I was 10, I was going rafting with my family. We were on like a big family rafting trip. And there were some rapids that we got off from.

We were not going down the rapids. And as we were hiking back to our camps, someone else went down the rapids. And they're... Would you say that rapids were like strong, good, or grand? Or yellow. It was a need's work. Needs approved the rapids.

They're raft flipped. And the part, they capsized basically. And the person went out of the rapids, one person in this raft went out of the rapids, smashed themselves out of rock, and I just saw a volcano of blood escaping from this person. Oh, James C. Well, also looking, you're using the word capsized, Dr. Water. It's a magic card, that's all I know it. So we ran, we pulled the person out of the,

of the rapids, luckily they were okay. The head just, you know, bleeds a lot when, when you get a head wound. And I thought you were gonna say, turn out to be a sex. Woo! I thought you were gonna say, turn out to be a sex doll full of ketchup.

The first question that we asked them after we had watched that horrible experience was, do you like doing this? Ah. So I, I can basically sympathize completely with people asking that question of us. That's fair. If you watched somewhat beat down. Is it your passion? Across the rocks. Constantly for three years. If you watch Tisif is rolling a boulder. How can you be smashed against a rock when you are also a rock?

You know what I mean? That's all destroying each other slowly over time. It's like when a rock when an unstoppable force meets an Immovable object you get a they ask Aaron keep to do a podcast with them. I Think we should fast five. It's family. I feel like we should task our listeners Future lizards, which is a term that never come on. We should we should task our future lizards. I forgot about it with Come up with a concept for the show that where we can continue doing this show because I Think I have 800 and 900 more little podcasts in me, and then we have to stop. We have to pivot to something else.

So what do you think we should do? Dude, I love doing that, because back when I was working in an office, constantly I would go to people who didn't work in my department had nothing to do with my job, and I would say to them, what do you think my job should be? That's your responsibility now.

What do you think I should do, Alfred? E-mails? I don't know, what do you think? Hear me out, and guys hear me out, wedding planners. JPC will do all the money stuff. Ado will be the MC and the DJ at everyone's wedding, and I'll do everything else. We'll see you in a DJ.

Okay, that's your first task. You gotta figure that out. See, this is why I gave it to you. I don't know. So let me ask you, Aaron, is this a podcast that you're pitching? You're just pitching the three of us started business. Yeah, we're going to start a different business.

I don't think it needs to be a podcast. I think that's too limiting. And I wouldn't need to be a podcast. No. I want to start a podcast. So this is something I had. And the two of you are more than welcome to be in this show But I don't know what your temperature is in terms of doing your podcast. Thank you. I'm so full

But I want to do a podcast maybe like Joey Romaine or something where it's like we do episode one It is what it is and then every subsequent episode is based on listener feedback So we say like what do you want to change? So if they're like will we have to do this and this or add this person or whatever? So it's just constantly, the podcast is called, what do you want? And every week it changes based on listener feedback

and it's to demonstrate to listeners, you don't know what you fucking want. I think it's... Nobody does. I look how hostile that sounds. Yeah, I think what people really want to listen to is something that sounds very hostile to them.

I think that's intriguing to me. I'm like, oh, this person's mad at me. I've done nothing. Let's give it a listen. Can I pitch a podcast that's just the two of you without me? Really quick. Is this just rental rental where we both talk rentals at the same time? That's each other?

That's the show. Aaron, you can, but it's going to be super embarrassing if you figure out the podcast we've been planning behind your back. Oh, good. I think it might be this. It's going to be super embarrassing if you figure out the podcast we've been planning behind your back. Oh, good. I think it might be this. It's going to be called unstoppable force in a movable object. JPC is the unstoppable force. We all know this.

He's more like JP Riddles than he's not. He's chaos, personified. Addle is a movable object. He's a super stubborn person. He hasn't given up on future lizards, but the rest of us have erased it from our memory. It was just you two trying to function together without fighting. I want to look people up.

I love this. Yeah, this is a great idea, Aaron. I do think that no one will listen without you. So here's what I will say. All joking, Asalad, we do love doing the show. And if people, if you are concerned about us not having enough riddles to keep this going for another five more years, put those fears to bed. We have over 1,000 riddles submission emails that we have not even begun to crack into yet.

So over 1,000 riddles submission now, are some of those duplicates? Are some of those written by a person who sent an email last week that said I'm five episodes in, I want to suggest a riddle? Was that a riddle that we've done in the first 10 episodes? Of course, that will always happen and I love that to happen. Aaron, he can be hostile and no consequences. Classic and movable object. It's gonna be hostile to that person.

They will not catch up for another two years. And by that point, when they hear it, they'll be like, this was my bad. But what I will say is we have so many of these listeners submitted riddles that we have a great episode of Planned Free Today. Are you two ready to just get the fuck into it and answer some of these listener submitted riddles?

I totally am, but I just wanted to speak on the fact that no one would listen without me. An image came to my head and I think it's correct and then people can let me know if they agree. I think that Adel is the salt. I think JPC is the tequila and I think I'm the lion. Oh, okay. Is together we are stronger. But I mean, a lot of people in the world love Adel.

Like, they want Adel with everything. And I cause heart disease. Uhhuh and and I'm good in moderation and you're fun at a party and not for children under 21 yeah I'm something that you kind of do a lot of it your 20s and then you put it away yeah that's like gold slugger for me when my first time I ever got drunk was off gold slugger and now if I smell it, I throw up. You'll never find it at a nursing home. Do you understand?

And if you get Aaron in a cut, you're fucked. Huh? Yeah. You think that like, limes are good with everything, and then you go, wait, what are limes good with? And it takes you a second. Aaron, I, case in point,

case in point to show us nothing without you. When we were waiting for you to show up to the zoom today, it was just dead Aaron here. It was just me, Adel and Casey staring at each other. That's not true. I logged on and then you guys were having a really great conversation about some Robinson movie. We were remembering a funny thing we watched. Aaron, I feel like, I'm going to, this is going to be a definite one to one.

I feel like when you say stuff like what you just said, I feel like it's like Beyonce after a concert and she turns to her backup dancers and she's like, ugh, everyone was watching you too the whole time and they're like, are you fucking crazy? Like, your name's on the poster. Under the one with 100 costume changes,

you're the badass who did all the dance moves. Like, they're all here for you and Beyonce's like, no, Jeff, Tito, they came to watch you too. Can I, here's my analogy, here's the one that I wanna pitch for the three of us. Addle is the boat. Ooh. Kind of the base keeps us all afloat.

Aaron is the oars and the sails, okay? You provide that extra gust to just keep us moving. I am the water. You need the water, who else is not really a boating threat, but under no circumstances do you get the water in the boat? Do not get the water in the boat. Yeah, sorry. This is how JPC is trying to remind himself

to not hook up with that all. You can't hook up with that all. I mean, can't do that. It's not the magic of the ocean. You know how like, you know how friends was basically over when Ross and Rachel got together season one. Yeah, we hit that a lot, but we can't put it into the show. And that's not to say we haven't done stuff just, you know,

sure. No, what he wants to hear about that. Let's do Riddle's, I'm sorry to delay you, JPC. Oh, it's okay. So, we've gotten an email from again, September of 2018. This is from Olivia. Olivia writes, in a standard US style crossword,

there's something special about two across and three across. What is it? Two across and three across. What is it? Two across and three across. This is a fact, I would say. But you know, it's kind of like a riddle that is also a fact. There's something special about two across, three across. Okay.

Olivia, I don't know if this helps, but Olivia also includes, they're a big fan. Hmm. Hey, we'll say, I've never seen a tweet or an Instagram message or an email of someone saying, wow, hey, Riddle, Riddle, just read the riddles I sent in in 2018. I'm so excited. No, I don't think any of those people listen anymore. I'm pretty sure they don't. I don't think so either. anymore. I'm pretty sure they don't. I don't think so either. It's okay. Um, so this, I think this is what happens when you get a little older, because my brain three times a week goes, I knew that once. And I think I knew this one. I used to do the New York Times Crossword way more. And I knew what this was. And now I don't remember. I mean, is it as

simple as like, they're the farthest left words on the page or something? They're the farthest left words on the page. No, I don't believe that that's anything. Is it a proper noun thing or like a vowel thing? No, the answer here is truly gonna depend on, if you are like a big crossword person and you know how a US style crossword, like it looks basically,

that you'll know like immediately that there's something special about two across and three across. I would say if you haven't done a crossword in a while, might be like a challenge to get the answer to this one. I am a massive fan of crosswords. Jesus, crucifixion, holy, the... Oh my God, that took me long.

That gets a get it. That took me a second. Swiss, what else? I thought you were gonna go with cross-continuation. Travel, yeah. What else? I thought you were gonna go with cross-creditation, dribble. Yeah.

I know that our good friend and former guest, Jeffrey Kraner, he is the most massive crossword fan I know. He does, I think he's done the New York Times the other crossword for like 500 days in a row or something like completed it that often. But I can't picture in my head something that makes two and three special. And it's specifically when the words are placed in the boxes

It's not like the clues beforehand It has to do with the number of two across and three across but not the clues Oh two is two letters are and then three is three letters always Um, no Aaron that's a really good guess because of you're thinking of like the way that it would have to function as it's laid out. I will say the layout has a lot to do with the answer to this riddle. I'll also say, there was a streak that I was doing the New York Times Crossword and then I got me like that app for my birthday one year, like a subscription to the Crossword

app. And there was a string of weeks and weeks where I would do it on the train on my way to work in the morning. And then I realized, I don't like doing this. Oh, yeah. It's something for my brain to do, but you know what, I can watch a video on my phone. And that's another thing for my brain to do.

I highly recommend everyone subscribe to Games Magazine. It is a chocolate block full of games that are like crosswords, not always exactly crosswords, but similar, but I think a little more fun. And and also I think I've ranted before that Alan Alda is always an answer to a crossword every single cross What I've ever done it'll always say like mash actor Alan Ten down or something addle real real quick fall up to the games magazine when you say subscribe to games magazine now to do that Do I just go down to my soda jerk and give him a quarter and he gives me a phosphate and a subscription to a magazine?

Get him, TBC. Or, get him. Do I still have to pick your time machine to go back in time where that would be a fucking suggestion? What the fuck are you doing? Yeah. You feel like a big man, you feel like a tough guy? Get him, I don't care.

Huh? Get him. That games is a word we use today. You think the word games is only a word that was used in 1940 and 1950. I'm an immovable object. You're listening to the premiere episode of The Unstoppable Forest meets the immovable object. He's a jerk. He's a jerk.

He's a both a jerk. He's a both a jerk. He's a both a jerk. Oh my god, somebody make a fake Next next topic on our show religion no, I'm a big no Yeah, I'm a hard-knowing that as well He's a both a jerk JPC I think I just had a memory oh

JPC I think I just had a memory. Oh Erick and I'm scared. Can I help you with this? I don't know. Have we been are we supposed to shout out every time we have a memory? Because I have your you are if there is rare as mine I if you've had a concussion you do need to let me know if you've had a memory. Okay He's a both a jerk. Okay, so my memory is that I think it's like, it has an A in the same place. They like always end with A or E or something. They always end in the same letter. Or something with the same letter.

I'm so glad your memory is a solution to this riddle. Otherwise I was like, what are we gonna talk about? I was on a trampoline. That was very young. I'm just going to do unrelated memories. The first time that I ever got drunk was on a trampoline. And we were drinking shots of vodka and chasing it with seara mist. And I was like 13 years old.

And on a pop started early on a trampoline in everybody puked just vodka with Sierra this chaser oh boy, I gotta say I'd flip those I'd be like thank god for this vodka to get the taste of the Sierra I heard you know what you know what we could use at that time an adult to help us I can't imagine starting to drink while I'm still watching sardine morning cartoons Uh, well, it was not the morning, that would be insane. I was thinking at 13 and it was 9 a.m. It's blocked up all over the place. I don't mean at the time, I mean at the age.

That's the same time. I'm in a bowl of cereal. I want to see a scene. Oh, please. Aaron and JPC, you are two people in New York City and you have just opened the door and walked into the hottest new bargain in New York, which is called trampolines, and we take you there now. I can't believe we got in the list.

Oh, fuck me. Oh, what? I'm not a stepped in yet. No, just, there's a rail on the side when you step in just make sure you grab the rail Okay, the shoe is gone The last one heel Trish you might as well. Do you want to just ditch the other one or or just hold it? You're right. I'll buy more tomorrow, you know Welcome guests to trampoline

Do not fall through the trampoline. There is nothing beneath it and when I say nothing I mean nothing for quite a long time. I heard about this This is built on like the New York City subway system, an old subway system, and it's basically just a black hole that lives underneath the city. Oh, I love when bars are haunted in New York City. It gives them character. Ooh, I love it.

Speaking of character, is it kind of New York City, like the third character of this? The character, yes, I was just going to say the same thing. It's a city-like character. We get a coffee on a Sunday morning down at the Dodega, and then we do the crossword puzzle together, and then we climb the Empire State Building every night. It's so romantic living here in New York.

Ooh, yeah, while you were sleeping. Okay, I want to see me do a backflip. I can't land it, but I can do it. Well, it's all trampolinesy. You don't even have to worry about landing it. Yep, and hoop. Oh, my Trigger Drinks. Hahaha.

I'm sorry, I mean I'm supposed to bounce in here. Hahaha. No, why would you bounce? I'm carrying the drone everywhere. Yeah, bouncing's my job. YouTube better be careful. Oh, okay, look at him. Is that the bouncers? That the guy who bounces the trampoline and we all kind of get double bounced. I don't know. He seemed like a big guy, but you would need a big guy to double bounce people.

So I'm saying. I love it. Yeah, Barworth just like littered with glass everywhere because everyone's spilling their drink constantly. I mean, I mean, making tons of money. I'm trying to sip and then their friend starts jumping and they go, don't! Stop! I mean, especially with New York drink prices, and they're right, going out of control. JBC is our two and three, the only words in a crossword that like carry through like two or three downward answers.

Let me give you a hint. Okay. So specifically, it is two across and three across and the layout of a crossword of a standard USDOT crossword has everything to do with what would be special about two across and three across. Okay. So imagine for the answer.

I can just give you the answer. I can just give you the answer, Aaron, if you would like to hear it. Yeah, I'm a coward and I give up. Can we get a hint first thing? Well, the layout thing is important. But we understand the fucking layout JPC. What I'm asking for is a hint. And when you just say layout 100 times, we get it.

You studied words under toe, all right? So imagine in your mind a cross word, right? You've got one across. Okay. It doesn't really matter how many letters or that clue is, but one across, it can't be shorter than a certain amount of numbers because there has to be downs associated with it as well, right? You wouldn't have a one across if it was like, if there was a one, if it was a one letter answer.

So what is the shortest amount of letters that one across could be while still being like the clue to a word in a cross? Three. Three. Okay. So if one across is three, then immediately you go down to two and three.

Oh, are they intersecting the same word, but they don't have any words coming off of it? No, it's just that if one across is a three letter word, then you have two down and three down, so you cannot have a two across and a three across. Because that next across would be four and seven or something like that. There is no two across and three across because that next across would be four and seven or something like that. There is no two across and three across some of us crossword.

That is the answer to this riddle. You both, you both are looking at me completely blankly so I don't know how, I don't know how is to say it. The something special about two across and three across is that they can't exist because there, there cannot be a two across or a three across or a crossword. Well you got us detective. We were in witness protection. My name's not out or if I this is Aaron Keith. Okay. Yeah. Do you want to say your real name? Okay. Um, yeah. My. Oh, yeah. Please. Addle. What's your real name? My name is

Lewis Bogdanovich. Oh, and there are wife. of it. Oh, and there my wife, Daphne Blender, how do you do? Come on, that's her full name. Blender Middleton, how do you do last name? Yep, deep. How do you do? That was a tough one. I like, I appreciate always, Elisabeth and Riddell, but that was tough, without seeing the board, it's tough to like remember, because I don't pay attention to like, It's tough without seeing the board. It's tough to like remember, because I don't pay attention to like, oh, they skipped the free. Anything.

I don't pay attention to anything. I don't pay attention to anything. I'll be honest, I don't pay attention to anything. When I'm driving, it's a shit show. Oh my God, are you driving right now? I am, yeah. Holy shit. Wait, sorry guys, JPC's pulling up to a fast food. He's doing it on his inside a well. What is, oh, he's wait, sorry guys JPC's pulling up to a fast food He's doing it inside a well. What is it? Oh, he's ordering sorry. I'll have excuse me. I'll just have your well-donuts

So whatever bottom shelf donuts that you have Hold on, I'm getting a call from a mouse I was driving this morning and I I never mind. I was driving this morning and I was in my neighborhood residential street and there's a green light and there's a car in front of me and we're coming up to a green light. On basically on Lincoln and the guy, it's a green light, just slowly stops. It stops at the green light and I pull it behind him and I'm like, what's going on?

It's a new from the future. I have no idea, but I pull it behind him and I honk. And he does nothing and I honk and he looks back at me through the rear view mirror and just goes, huh, he shrugs. And then the light turns right and I go, what on earth? He was like, no, I know this light.

I cannot make it through the intersection. I must stop here, I agree. And then I spent, I wasn't mad. I was just like, I was like, cause I'm, you know, I was a block from home and it doesn't, it doesn't, like, it didn't matter. But I was just staring at him. I was like, what was the shrug for?

Yeah, that would stay with me. That shrug. That shrug. And then he didn't was like, what was the shrug for? Yeah, that would stay with me. That shrug? That shrug? And then he didn't like look at me after the shrug. Like you just kind of like just looked ahead and whatever, but I was like, was the shrug just like, mine would complete fucking moron. I don't know what to tell you.

There's nothing I could say. I was going, It's like watching someone trip with a candle, a curtain goes up in flame and they just look at you and shrug and kind of walk away. You'd be like, wow, there's more to say, more to do. What do you mean?

What do you mean? It implies we both saw what happened, but I don't want to have to explain myself. There's no explanation and we'll never find one. The other day I was coming home and I was on going north. It's a one way, I mean, there's one lane of the road. Yeah. So I'm going north on a one lane road and I go to turn right to turn onto my street where I live

and the guy behind me, sped up to try and pass me on the right. As I'm turning right, he could have easily, he could have easily paused or he could have easily sped up and gone around me on the left. But he tried to pass me on the right as I was mid turn and then he, we both stopped because I thought he's going to hit me and he almost hit me so he stopped and he lays on his horn the entire time and starts cursing at me. So I just put my car in park and got out of the car. I didn't know what I was going to do. Like I had no plan.

I'm not, I'm not tough. I'm not strong. But I was just like, this needs to stop now and I'm gonna end it. I will be the one to stop it. So I got out of the car and then he backed up and terror and sped off. But you stressed me out so much. It was the most wild thing I've ever seen where I'm like, what did you think was gonna happen?

You could pass me on the right as I'm turning right. I do love that an adultized story It's like it perfectly sums up the experiences that we would have with other human beings whereas mine is just a Mysterious thing that will never be explained and it will leave me questioning for the rest of my life and Adal is he almost died He almost died two times two times Once in a car and once when I was dumb enough to get out of the car. There's only going to be two hits. Your car hitting me and then me hitting the ambulance door and saying,

and then me hitting on the ambulance driver. There's going to be two hits. You hitting my car and Celine de la... Celine de la Yombs, my heart will go on playing on the radio. Well, dear listeners, and Olivia, if you're still with us, thank you so much for that riddle. And now as a special treat for you, let's listen to us. Just talk about some advertisements for a little while. Olivia if you're still with us, yikes. Hey, GPC. Uh, uh, yeah.

You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Adal. And I'm setting up a whole website to prank him. Um, can I just need some advice? This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Apple. I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Apple. Screamer space is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand,

Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website engaged with your audience. And so, let me think for products that cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here. Come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him.

Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics, use insights

to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website, the prank site too. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace.

Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. Yeah, the website was for. Frank. With Squarespace. Yes, right. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party Tools to extend the functionality of your website.

Hey, JPC, hey, JPC. What's up, battle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial And when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back. She's back. Hey Aaron. Hey Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked.

But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey Adel and JPC, thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an impasse. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods.

Isn't it funny to think about something like that? There never truly is a middle of the woods. No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually. So as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help.

I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try better help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Because sometimes Aaron in life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you owl owl. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really ow, ow, sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Mmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient,

flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating

them. Dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help h-e-l-p dot com slash riddle r-i-d-d-l-e

r-i-d-d-l-e the middle of riddles of D but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the middle of the two days. I am home. Who are we? What is this? I, clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday, and we're all so excited to talk about him,

but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Bunny. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Huh? Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place.

I've been using it for years, way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, kling, kling, kling, kling. Oh, sorry. I also want to give a toast. Rocket Bunny, well quickly, anding, cling, cling. Sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel.

And Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Kling, cling, cling. Mm-hmm. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off. Kling, cling, you didn't click it. Over 3 million. Oh, Kling, Over $3 million, over $3 million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year.

We love rockets coming here. Stop, stop, stop, no, stop, stop, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwirted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. Rock at money.com slash riddle. And tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money, clank. Hey, Rick, go Rick, go. Keep your things safe.

I can't do anymore, Reddles. Okay, Aaron, I picked up the phone because I made way to a big presentation. What's it about? I haven't really figured that part out yet. I kind of do some crowd work in my presentations. I kind of make fun of people's clothes. Why do you keep getting promoted? You're so lazy. I know and ultimately if it goes a different way, I just blame like whoever's two levels below me and then they take the complete fall for it and it ruins their lives. But I just keep going up.

Oh, Addles is easy sick too, Addle, we're very very. No, put me on the phone, put me on the phone. JPC, I'm also sick, but Aaron said she's sick with blue khakis. She says that she keeps, she has blue khakis everywhere. Okay, I'll drop everything on. I'll drop everything and come get her. Thanks, Adam.

Can you Google blue khakis? No, it's okay. She's wearing blue khakis. No, come on. I just didn't believe her. I want to fuck you guys over to I trust and believe her All right, let's see another riddle

Okay, so these riddles come to us from Erica another person with an a at the end of their name, huh? I'm playing a good theme for the episode What are the odds? What are the odds? For asking it straws. Yeah, that's the theme. Okay, Erica writes, a young woman is whisked away to a far off land.

Where? Good for her. Honestly, good for her. Well, she's young. Good for her. Get it, Alice. Go for it. Well, she's young?

Well, she's old. Good for her. Where, Erin? I don't know. Let's see about good for her. Where? She kills the first person she meets. Good for her. Good for her. I hope the first person, I hope the first person that she met said something crossed to her and I hope she just killed them. Yep, exactly. Good for her. I hope they asked her to smile and that she was like, here's a smile. And then she ran a knife across their throat. It was like, how's that for a fucking smile? Then she teams up with three others to kill again. What

is happening? This is Yoko Ono. And it's she joined the Beatles. Now, we all remember she killed Paul. If if I am the walrus is to be believed. Sure. Then she started a new band where she dressed like Kuku Kuku. Kuku Kuku. Kuku. Teens up with Paul. Ringo herself to kill John. Uh-huh. Oh, interesting. Let me just really quickly check Erica. Yep, that is correct. That's the answer. Good job. Wow, I'm not used to being right. You should have laughed at and ridiculed. I don't know why I got here.

Sorry, I know there was a delay. Ha ha ha ha ha. Y'all be ridiculed. There you go. Thank you. We got the delay fixed. We're still working. Now, the answer to this riddle

is a Miyazaki film called Spirit of the Way. Now, the answer to this riddle is me as Akifilm called Spirited Away. Now, a young woman goes to a different realm. She immediately kills this little thing, and then she joins up with this other kind of thing with a face and a wolf maybe. There's like a... So you're like a big film buff, huh?

Like you're just like a big movie fanatic, huh? I like the reference films, but I'm in big trouble for you, but he calls me on it. The girl is a dog and a dog is hunting. Hmm. Ah, yes, it is the video game Duck Hunt. Yes. Bada bada bada bada bada. Wow, perfect duck hunting pressured.

Thank you. Yeah, T-Ball. Okay. We're just setting this up up for these big dingers Okay, so it's not hunting no she women is westway to a far aflame kills the first person she meets Then teams up with three others to kill again. What the f is happening? Aaron. I have the answer, but I want you to get there No, thanks I'm gonna to get there. No thanks. Get there. Buy me a ticket, and then I might go.

I'm gonna keep myself busy. I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna tinker around my room and then you guys can let me know. This is for my hobbies. These are my hobbies. I wanna see a scene. Aaron, you have just moved to a new place. It can be anywhere in the world real or fictional.

You just moved to a new place it can be anywhere in the world real or fictional you just moved to a new place and we're gonna see a scene where you accidentally or purposely kill the first person you meet. Hi I would love what's good here. Do you have like a fish special like I'd love to try your fish. What? I mean, this is a Starbucks, it's like a big chain. Oh, shoot, sorry. I thought this would be like regional, because we're coastal, I thought that you would have like a fish.

Oh, no, no. Absolutely, honestly, it happens more than I like to admit. It's, I get that question a thousand times a day, but no, it's just like coffees and, you know, anything from the glass case here as well Sorry, I know I see you're staring at my knife. I just I work at the knife factory and I accidentally I was like such a days when I went home Sure that I took this home with me

So I'm just bringing this back to work. I know it's I to making you nervous, but this is just my knife from work I didn't even know that we had a knife factory in town. What do you do at the knife factory? It's new I sharpen them, but I haven't been back in the workforce and I, in a while, cause obviously COVID, all this stuff. And I got a cold. And now I just keep, I have these like violent sneezes. So I got back to work immediately, got a cold.

Do you know how it is? I know, yeah. I just have whipped cream here. For sure, yeah, for sure. We have we have whipped cream. I mean, it's I mean, usually we, unless it's a dog ordering it, we don't just give plain whipped cream. We usually put it on top of a drink or something. So no puppeteenow for me. I would, I would I was gonna order a puppy. Do you have a dog? I'm I'm I'm in line behind her. Can I have a can? Do you have cod? You sure like a cod sampler?

Sir, or oysters? We have this conversation every day. There's no fish. Ah. There's no cod. There's no oysters. You're obviously three dogs wearing a fucking trench coat. Let's get out of here! Get out of the Starbucks.

Ah. So? Get the peanut car! And drive through to get a puppet cheat out. I'm sorry, man. I'm so sorry about that those dogs They're neighborhood dogs. They're nice guys, but they are in sister Nope, no worries. I'll just take a puppy

I'm a lean and closer. I'm ready to get that Oh my gosh, I poisoned you Fantastic, I would love to sneeze on a stranger and public and be like, oh my god, I poisoned you. Oh, I'm so sorry. Poisoned. And Adel, did you have any answer for that one? Yes, Aaron, I'm going to, I'm going to try and get you there girl. So let's just tell me what it is.

Let's say the weapon that she uses to kill the first person she meets. It's a domestic weapon Domestic weapon That's such an awful clue The weapons you killed her with it's where her heart was a couch Yes, it's a house. It's a house. Oh, it's this wizard of us. Little wizard of ours. Now, I don't know. I haven't seen the movie, so no spoilers, but that Erica says that that is the answer to the room. No spoilers for me, but yes, that is the answer. Congratulations. You got it. I would like to see a scene. Oh, no. Oh, no. Uh,

see a scene. Oh no. Oh no. Uh, uh, at all, you are at a bar with your friend, JPC, and you're about to spoil a movie that's from like the 1930s, 40s or 50s. And uh, that's like a classic that everyone knows and JPC's getting kind of angry that you're about to spoil this movie for him. Cheers. Um, of course, drinking a club soda. I asked you to a bar, and then I realized you don't drink and I feel a little foolish but thank you for coming and finding something and drink. It is 100% okay. This is the best trampoline bar in Chicago. It's kind of like a new chain and I love it here so I'd never mind coming out.

I heard 20 people fill into a hell mouth in New York. Yeah, but you know that's fucking New York. It's like a whole other scene there. I've already said so similar but it's couldn't be more York. It's like a whole other scene there. Everybody thinks it's so similar But it's couldn't be different more different. Oh speaking of a whole other scene You know how you're watching Sys and Kane one 10 seconds scene at a time Yeah, I mean, it's honestly just because HBO Max sucks

I don't bother anything don't pause anything. I tried out to but it's like it Yeah, I got it like a 10 seconds and then the whole app shuts down and I have to go anyway But yes, I was my TV for months and then I heard other people you know complaining about it I was like no, it's a thing like they should fix that yeah, but they won't because they don't fucking care about it Anyway citizen Kane, you know how he's kind of Talk about Rosebud. Well, you know Rosebud no, I'm like maybe 40 seconds in man Rosebud. You know, you can talk about Rosebud. No, I'm like, maybe 40 seconds in, man, come on. What the fuck?

Well, surely, he's mentioned Rosebud. I don't know, sometimes it's 10 seconds at the time so it cuts off into a certain word. So Rosebud. Oh, yes, Rosebud, yes, that's in the first 40 seconds. I believe of the movie, but I saw it in two separate 10-second viewing, so I got... And surely, I mean, the movie's been out for like 90 fucking

years so surely you've seen it referenced on like the Simpsons with the teddy bear or any of that stuff no don't watch the Simpsons but don't if it's if there's a teddy bear in the movie don't give me a spoiler what the Simpsons you've never seen the Simpsons okay how to spoil that scene it I've seen it I don't know what you don't know I feel like there's a dome around Springfield, but that could have I could be thinking of a sting Stephen King movie. What does that mean dome around Springfield? Hey, yeah, eat my shorts, man. Okay. I do not want to hear spoilers about so you remember remember what eat my shorts From which reference which references back to Rosebud which is citizen canes from which reference which references back to rosebud which is citizen canes now because of the calls as as whole rosebud don't

at all i don't want to get the half to kick you out uh the standup has been out there just trying his best to perform we'll tell john mullaney he's reduced here you reduce him to tears okay he's trying to compete with you two uh talking about pop culture back here hey don't have a count in okay we're just trying to have a normal conversation Punch yeah, I guess I'll have some punch. Why did you punch me John Mulaney? Do not shoehorn Impression that you need yourself up for we don't do this on the show

Can you imagine falling into a hell mouth? What would that be like when I was younger? I thought hellmuffs would be a bigger problem as an adult. This would be like wow, Sherge is walked in. If you were going to throw him back to... Like, what the fuck are we doing? We can't see up around, Sherge. Oh, it's shit, Sherge's here. Jbc's here. She's just walking. And she's singing her- she walked into the room singing her song, which is, you know she's game to do karaoke? Share share please. We're all right. Share please come on share one song What do you want me to sing? Bloodhound gang. I don't know that

You don't know the roof is on fire by the blood I don't know that the roof is on fire Okay, this next rental comes from Katie. Katie says in a post script, wow, a post script to the email. Great podcast. Couldn't agree more, Katie. Couldn't have led with that. Here's the rental. Those who have me are worried.

Those who lose me are poorer. Those who win me no longer have me. What am I? I'm working. Decine, disintegrating money. Okay. Did I get it in on time? Adel said disintegrating money into Aaron Sessant Mortgage. So obviously you guys are calling me out of my decision to buy the money pit from the film the money pit Yes, it was about investment, but I love John Cleese. So what am I supposed to do? Not John Cleese? Who's in the money pit? I was in Tommy. I like John Cleese too. First of all, first of all, first of all, I was thinking of dirty rotten scavengers and I was thinking of of dirty rotten scavengerals and I was thinking of, what do we fall down, Mr. Bruce?

What is that? Michael Caine. Michael Caine. So I said John Glee's because I was thinking about Michael Caine from a completely different world. JPC rode a roller coaster 10 times in a row before we started recording. I'm clapping for JPC right now.

This is a clap just for JPC. What a beautiful insight into your brain. Brain, you flatter me, sir. And can I just tell you, this is maybe my favorite, I mean, a lot of people who listen to my podcast, know, huge money Python fan, I know Aaron is as well. Your podcast. My podcasts.

Oh, I see. Yeah, this is about siblings. I own them all. And I think people know pretty well that I enjoy this sketch the most. Mine by Tharnworth Michael Cain. Excuse me, sir. Disparate is dead.

No, it's not. I show you. Disparate is dead. Let me pick him up here and he falls right down. Why does he fall? Because he's dead. That's a... You're the spam bit!

Wait, no. Let's have him do one that didn't age well. Do the lumberjack song. lumberjack song. Oh, no, a jack. And that's okay. Okay, do we have an answer to this rental that's not a mortgage or a disintegrating money or whatever? I think, read it one more time.

I think I might know it. Those who have me are worried. those who lose me are poorer, those who win me no longer have me. What am I? Is this like, seeing a loser? That's a really great guest here, but that is not correct. Is this like secrets or like an antidote or secrets or an antidote. No, it's not like any one of those things

and it's not those things. Okay, well, give us a chance. Give us a chance, then. Give us a chance. Trust, believe. Prove. So, I don't know. Yeah, I think if, let's say I got a letter in the mail

telling me I had one of these, I would be worried. I'm't know. Yeah, I think if let's say I got a letter in the mail telling me I had one of these I would be worried. I'm not sure. And I don't think I've ever... I don't think I've ever had one before. And if I did have one I would be worried. So if you got a letter in the mail about this you'd be worried you don't think you've had one. Is this an illegitimate child? Oh God. You think that they would contact me through the mail? Yeah, a warrant out for your arrest. Divorce papers. I love the idea of somebody showing up on your door

and you open it and they're like, hey, dad, what happened in Vegas? Didn't quite stay there. I live here now. I do like how it's not just I have a child. I have illegitimate child. Like they're putting that on themselves like me I'm not legit. Yeah, but I'm your kid. I Love to get pregnant in Vegas. I'm very interested in that love to go to Vegas get pregnant

I don't want to go for the gambling or the shopping or the Vegas I don't want to go for the gambling or the shopping or the food I'm going to Vegas and I'm gonna get pregnant Oh, can't wait to see how that matches up on the zoo. Good luck Casey Okay, so if you got a letter in the mail you'd be Was is this like a Tax audit? No, now I actually I have been audited before for not paying taxes, which is a funny story

because I was an independent contractor, as you both know, in Indianapolis when I was doing, in college and stuff when I was doing comedy sports, all of that was like independent contractor income. And I remember, I had a friend who gave me some of the worst tax advice I've ever had in my life, which was like, it's not very much money, I just never worried about it. I just ever declared it, I just never pay it. And I was like, that

sounds good. I'm 18 years old. I'll never do, I'll just do the same thing as well. And I didn't declare any income that I made from comedy sports for like three years or four years. And finally, I got a letter from the IRS that were like, Hey, man, you owe us $2,200 from what like this year. And I was like, that seems like a lot of money, but you're only asking for one year, and I know for a fact I haven't paid you for four.

So I was like, why don't we just settle? We'll do it, I'll pay it. You got me, congratulations. And we're done here. Happy Young Wesley Snipes. Ah, you got me. Good job, I-R-S. I-S-I-R-L.

My tax dollars paid for you to catch me, not paying my tax dollars. Well, I was also in college at the time and I was getting like federal pell grants and stuff and I was like, you basically already gave me this money. So I'm like, Obama gave it to me, I guess I'm giving it right back. Good times, good times, learning tax stuff.

So this is some tax on it, but this is something that you would be notified through the main. I lost it. Oh, Aaron, you have hit it on the head. It is a lawsuit. I'm so sorry. Um, uh, you're bleeding. You're bleeding.

Uh, let's see. Do you enjoy this? Is this a passive? Unfortunately, Aaron, um, they are filing criminal charges against you. So this lawsuit is taking you to court. No, I want to win it so I can no longer have it. But is it a lawsuit something you just buy like menswear house? Yeah, if you don't show up to court wearing a lawsuit, it's a shitty device of our criminal punishment system, but it is true. Yeah, the judge will be the only one you can do.

You're gonna love the way you look. Yeah, and those who win me no longer have me, I like this one. I'm Katie also mentioned that many times their friends have guessed a bet, which is also true as well. The bet works as well. So they get to still on the board. Also secrets and poison.

We would have accepted secrets and... Oh, I guess secrets. Damn it. Oh man oh I'm sorry you guys did it again to don't which is kind of the opposite of poison if you ask me I have an anecdote about poison oh my god what if a snake bite you and someone's like oh I have something that's perfect for this so me and my cousin we're sure that's an anecdote no no no no no no we're supposed to kiss you're supposed to kiss on the bike and we say 32 by 33s you don't have No, no, no, got to Susie's house, there was no vase in the car.

According to Kevin, he stopped short at the stoplight and the vase flew backwards, crashing into the back of the car and shattering. As soon as he said that, Susie knew he was lying. How? It would have crashed forwards. I wouldn't have been thrown forward right? I think it's because hold on let me give my answer. Okay, I think it's also right

No interrupt the lady being right to say some bullshit. I love it. No, no, no, I love it. Do it go for it This is excellent. I didn't interrupt you. I interrupt JPC. Oh, that's true. This is celebrating me Unbelievable, I do but do but dooo dooboo dooboo. No, Adol speak. Talk. Go. The moment's passed. No, I won't go back. No, I won't go back.

Aaron, if Kevin had stopped short, the vase would have flown forward due to its forward momentum. Adol, let me tell you something about physics. Okay. Oh, you're grabbing my shirt too tight. Let me tell you something about physics. Okay. Oh, you're grabbing my shirt too tight. Let me tell you something about physics. Come here. Oh, how are you doing this through you?

Objects and motions stay in motion, okay? And I know that you know a lot about physics, but I'm going to tell you what I know anyway. And I got to the end of the things I knew about physics, so that's what I know about physics. Okay, sorry, man. I told you I know a lot about physics. Oh, me too. I can climb a rope right to the top I want to see a scene. I want to see a scene on

Adel you are going to be you're delivering a pizza to Aaron But Aaron judging by the shape the boxes in you you have some questions about like what has happened to your pizza from on this delivery journey Ding dong! Hey, sorry, sorry my doorbell is broken, I really appreciate you making this sound. I'm so hungry. Oh, um. Hey, you ordered a pizza from Domino's? I ordered a pizza from Domino's.

Oh, well then you dialed wrong, we're at the 1-800 Domino's. Okay, well, that's fine. I flunked out of junior high. That's okay. Oh, I noticed, but they only at dominoes, they only hire people who flunk out. I think that's actually a really great... Pulse. What did... Okay, um, this box looks like it's been through hell and came back.

Was this a fire? Oh, is that because I put two pinnings over its eyes, so it could cross the river sticks? Yeah, I, that's just the tip of the iceberg. Sorry, the river sticks. There's so much happening with this box, it looks like a kindergarten class, sort of used crazy glue and some glitter and feathers and yeah we only use um at dominoes we only use pizza boxes that were crafted by kindergarteners okay great that answers that question why am I on fire sorry let me uh crafted by kind gardeners

oh okay um i'm just gonna open the box, see. Oh, you saw you wanna grab the zipper from the side. What? Oh, okay. Grab the box zipper. Uh-oh. All right, I grabbed it. It's not seemingly connected to anything.

Let me just, here we go, open it up. Oh, let me crank the box here. Okay, there. And it's open. There seems to be at least five or six little nibbles taken out of each slice Did you get hungry? I did but I did need it but our cooks always taste as they come here listen Ah my shirt a bunch of hungry 11 year olds having a slumber party at my house my son thinks I'm a fucking loser

And if I bring this pizza in they're gonna tear me to shreds They're gonna tease me and make fun of me and make me feel small. Okay. What are you gonna do about it? How about? Shitty's coming. He's coming. He's coming. Stepmom, where are you with the pizza? I'm not a stepmom. I'm his full biological mother We'll see you're married to my dad I'm married to a step dad. This is horrible. Where? Where is my pizza? I'm trying to have a party downstairs

It's coming right away so I write sure and you can buy whatever games you want you can rent whatever movie you guys can Stay up till four in the morning, whatever. I think I got this, ma'am. Hey, champ. Big guy, look over here, buddy. We have a new pizza that I delivered today just for you. Your mom is lucky enough to get the first. Step mom was lucky enough to get the first sample of it.

It's called Tiny Bite's Pizza. And what it is is it's pizza with little bites out of it So that your tiny mouths can easily finish a slice and still feel cool Oh Save your at your school the cool one who's a year older said it's the coolest hippest kind of pizza to eat in town Wait, right pizza guy Yeah, that's that's right mom. I get it now you're saying that if I continue to the path that I'm on being the person that I am I'm gonna end up like this thing I don't want that I don't want that mom I apologize I'll call you mom

again I'll call my step that Rick I'll do better I won't I won't be such a dick thank you sir I want you to call the pizza man dad No, please it's not that's that's my first name so it'll be confusing see Wow, maybe the kid dad that's a big big move Well, I think it's it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. I think that kid grows up to to father Some children. This is my son my dad That guy grows up to get someone pregnant and Vegas. That's true. You definitely get pregnant and Vegas from a guy named Daddy.

Uh, when in Vegas? Oh, we should shout out. This is a great opportunity. DBC, you were recently on an episode of Call of Her Daddy, weren't you? Yes, I was. No, I'm sorry. I'm not familiar with that podcast. I was on an episode of Call of Me by Your Daddy.

It's a fruit. It's a fruit podcast. It's a fruit podcast, thank you. I only know this podcast, Call of Her Daddy, because it just got bought by Spotify for $45 million or something. And also, what is the one? SmartList with Jason Bateman and Sean Hayes and Will Arnette.

That just got back, bought for $80 million. And it makes me think, what the fuck are we doing wrong? Spotify? Spotify? Spotify? Spotify, if you are listening to this, our offer is still on the table. You kill Jake and Amir.

And then we give you eight if you want. No, no, no, no. We of course wish them nothing but happiness and health. And we have time for one more riddle. So here it is. This is a quick one from Jenna. Jenna writes, quick riddle for you that's been one of my favorites for a long time. A woman has married multiple men over the years.

Mormon, she's not doing anything illegal and none of them have died or have been divorced. How? She a Mormon. I know it. I know it. I know it too. She's an officiant of a wedding.

She marries people. Adults, that what you were gonna say? I was going to say, the woman is actually ex-force team member multiple man. He put on a wig and he multiplied and married several people, but for the sake of time, let's go with Aaron's answer. You're both wrong.

The woman is Michael Keaton from multiple publicity. Ex-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h- Oh, her name is Mary and she married herself by, I don't know, what's the plot to multiplicity? Is it a machine that does that to him? It's a machine, it's a guy who's like, his work is kicking his ass and his family life isn't getting his enough attention from him. So he's doing contract work at a facility, a new lab in California that clones people and the guy goes,

I see that you're stressed, let me clone you to help you out. And then he clones himself and one clone stays at home with his family, one clone goes to work, but then the clone at work gets bored and clones himself. So there's a clone of a clone. And then it starts to be very weird and doesn't hold up terribly well. Now I haven't seen the movies and no spoilers. But thank you so much, Jennifer, for really the whole plot.

Thank you so much, Jenna, for sending in that email. I'd like to see a scene. Oh, Aaron, please. Oh, last one. JPC, you are an efficient, and your... Please, Adam, please. Oh, Adam, you're here.

You can be in it, but you. Oh, not like this. JPC, you sort of forgot that you had to be inefficient. That's wedding, so you showed up thinking you were the guest, and now you're sort of just improvising and spinning your wheels during the ceremony. And you can marry me in Addle. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today. And can you turn around?

You don't want me to do this. You want me to do this out to everybody? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. Sorry, we want to interrupt again. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today. And if we were 45 minutes late, I'm sure we're all sorry. Sure we all thought we could just sneak in, but that was not the case.

So we, what's important is we're gathered here today. I'm sorry, can you get off your segue? Just give me one moment and dismount. Hey, take a look at her. And you! Take a look at this big log of meat right here. Huh? Waka, waka. Looks good. Did you forget her name? No. Did you forget her name?

No! Did you forget her name? Why don't we all say her own names? That's fun for a wedding. Jeff! Lisa? Lisa Head. Okay!

Well, as we all know, Lisa and Dad, they've known each other for hell. It feels like a long time. And they love each other, okay? And so that's why we're here. We're gonna celebrate that love. Now, I believe you've elected to. Please, please, please, please, please. Write your own vows?

No. No, big no. Big no on that. Instant no. Can you not do a scratch off ticket while you're doing the ceremony if I win I Spinn it with who me dad Lisa huh three ways split if I win okay yeah that's not so bad look dad and Lisa they're meant to be together if anyone here present at the ceremony has a reason why they shouldn't be married.

Email me! I'd love to hear it. But I don't think that that's gonna be the case. I don't think that's gonna be the case. Okay. Don't check your laptop. I'm waiting on an email. You have to, if you say that part, you have to get it on. B-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne Yeah, but what do they do to the penis? No, but what did people say should we be getting ready? Does anyone have a check? Hold on.

Sorry, my name is Mr. Pills and I sent you an email. Oh, at least I'm Lisa's ex-boyfriend. Oh, okay, plot thickens. And you and I, we should talk offline about the rest of the cutscenes of this email. Perfect. Uh, Vic, telling some of that we should talk offline in the era where you're still dialing in to the internet. You know what?

We love to see the riddles. We thank you so much for sending them in. Even if you did send them in three years ago. We love all of our listeners and we love doing the show for you. And now we love doing our favorite fucking part of the show, which is the part where we talk about plugs. Aaron, is there anything that you would like to plug?

Oh great, my favorite part of the show. You can follow me, Aaron, keep 10 on Instagram, and I just wanted to say a quick reminder again. If you sent me a message in the last like three months, my Instagram started auto-deleting. A lot of my messages, so just resund it, and I will get to it. And, Addle, I would absolutely love to hear you. Talk about what you're doing right now. Oh, thank you. Let's see here.

Well, first of all, we should say if you have emails for us, please send us those emails or riddles to hrrpodcast.gmail.com. We love it. We love it. And some recent things I was on that I had a really good time with are I did a recent episode of Bill Buds Podcast. JPC, do you know when that's dropping?

It dropped two days ago, my man. It's already out. You can listen to it now. What's the album? Can I know? Yes, we listened to Ben Fold's period. I almost said five. Ben Fold's dead stop.

Rocking the suburbs. One of my favorite albums and uh... it was a god damn blast and it was uh... don't get many things right first time i am told that

and the plug he is and also you can check out i believe it's on it's definitely on youtube and i think it's maybe available in podcast form but I was recently on a show called death battle Which from a search seems like a very popular YouTube series and which two characters fight to the death And I got to choose the characters and beyond the episode and I chose Loki versus Beetlejuice is really good time and Please please check out death battle. It's by the folks from rooster teeth so so check that out cool JPC do you have anything to play? same old bullshit you can listen to billbuds pod you can follow me on twitch twitch.tv slash shark barkman i'm on twitter at jpsofly and i think that's about it

uh oh they we're getting to the end of the road of plugs anything else to say guys Anything else to say guys? Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh Hey there bears and pods, if you like that you are going to love this week's Patreon. Billionaires be damned, the clue crew is going to space. You can listen to that, plus our entire Bat catalog by joining the clue crew for $5 a month, or the review crew for $8 a month at patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle. See you there! podcast.