Hey Riddle Riddle - #158: Three Beer Canniversary!

Episode Date: July 28, 2021

Wowee!! We can't believe it's already been 3 Years!! In this episode we celebrate our anniversary with JP Riddles, Coco Cashmere, Puzzbot and the introduction of some Leather alter ego's! We also predict the future, ruin the printing press, give our compliments to the chef and we have our first ever self imposed DEAD STOP!! Celebrate with us and cheers to the next 3 years!! #WiddleWednesdayStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. Hey everyone, before we get into our big third year anniversary spectacular, the three of us wanted to tell you about something very cool happening with the show. We are adding three new stretch goals to our Patreon with some episodes that you are going to absolutely freaking love. And would you like to tell them about your episode? Oh yeah, each stretch goal unlocks a new series.

The first one is a series I created that's called, yeah, saddle, saddle. It's a Western theme show. It's a bit of a romp. There's horses, there's beans. There's a mystical well. It's gonna be a good time and people are gonna ride off into the sunset.

This sounds like we're making this up. This is not a bit. This is real. I'm I we this is actually real this time You guys okay. Well Aaron describe yours. Okay fine. I have a lot of special stuff coming up But the first thing is a story of superheroes and super yeah, I'm making it up right now with the flock of my window Superheroes and super villains that takes place in the world of riddle city with a ton and I mean a flock of my window, super heroes and super villains that takes place in the world of Riddle City with a ton, and I mean a ton of super special guest performers. Those two lame ideas, not up to your speed? Well, then you can check out another Patreon stretch goal, which is a little something that we call

hey, Riddle, station, that's right. We're going just like fast and the furious, all the way to space, and we have hide jinks and hilarity that will ensue. You can check out all of those stretch goals on patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle. In a series note from all three of us, we want to thank all of you so much for listening to the show and helping support the show for the last three years. It's been an absolute fucking pleasure to do and we can't wait to bring you some more

stuff. Because if you I have shoes. TPC, do you really think our ideas are bad? No, just addles. Here in your sus great! Yay! Thanks, Tick, wait a second. I'm an airplane. You can have them with the hot spring. And the word, In bright,

I'm flying. My feet before, Hey, Ritual break down. Uncle JP. Uncle JP, Reddles. Hey! Hey! Um,, um, how did you get this hospital? We checked in at the guest registration desk. Oh, yeah, they said that you're taking visitors

between 3 a.m. and 4 a.m. That's my office hours. I'm a professor now. Get well soon, balloon! Oh, thank you, can't eat these! He tried anyways! Um, ask him. We wanted to come visit you because we heard that you had a special three-year anniversary swan lumps you wanted to tell. You heard that I had a special three-year anniversary, don't even know what that means, and the R constructed timeline. Anniversary swan lumps that you wanted to meet her in? You little piss, Creans.

That's a portmanteau of Miss Creans and piss rats. Wait, I misspoke. I'm sorry. We heard you had a three beer canaversary, Swannlumps. Nah, it's more like it. Now, take the beer out and put it sloppy Joseph's out. You got yourself a ballgame. Hahahaha. Uncle JP Riddles. Yes? I have to ask this and this is I'm not trying to accuse you of anything

But was that man in the hospital bed next to you dead when you came in here or That man next to me in the hospital bed was made a wood when I came I'm slowly bringing it back to life Okay, you gotta admit wood to dead guys, quite an improvement. Chipotle, oh no. Have you been watching General Hospital on the TV all day and all night? Listen, I'll go to any war general hospital since my two

because I am a soldier in this world. Now you kids wanna hear a swan lump, or not? Yeah. All right, here we go. Whoa, man, dusting off the old swan lumps sack, reaching in real deep, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ooh, lots of sardine bites. Oh, I gotta get those in the water.

Okay. There's a pine in there. Why do you have so many porcupine needles in your hand? Yeah, there's so many needles in my hand because there is no porcupine in there. Those are trophies. Uncle Trophy. How come you're too pay is astroturf

Because it was paid for by the Koch brothers uncle JPC. Yeah, how come none of the nurses? Like you we started coming to visit you and they said Probably a combination of raw sexual charisma and just me being generally unpleasant to people Combination of raw sexual charisma and just me being generally unpleasant to people What a terrible combination swan lumps 2776 the future was bleak Air raid sirens play day and night the oceans were lava and the lava was grieving here the gravy was all out of mashed potatoes There he was Cyborg JP riddle standing atop a squirrel mountain. I know what you think of what's a squirrel mountain. One of squirrel mountain is a naturally formed formation.

When enough squirrels died that they, the bones solidify and also, they're awesome and they create themselves a little mountain with a cold era and a cavern system underneath. That's where Cyborg JP JP riddles made his home. But what did he have here? Two annoying little fucking hologram kids. All they had was questions and questions and questions and they were probably working with the nurses. That's right in 2776. The nurses are the enemy and they're trying to take over the world with their shots and their prides and their pokes and their good cheery attitudes and their underpaid underappreciated. Yeah Uncle JP do you really think that this is the year to come out art against nurses? I should have done it last year!

What was I waiting for? Oh, JP really is always waiting to long to miss the cultural zeitgeist! JP Uncle JP, what's going on with the voicemail you left us that said you were joining the X-Men? Yeah. No, I said I was conscripted into the X-Men because I lost a bet with Cyclops! I said I could kiss longer, but he kissed way longer than me. Uncle JP riddles? Huh?

Why isn't that you're in the hospital? No one will tell us what you're sick of. They give you free bread every three days in here. I'm as healthy as a horse. And by that, I mean, I have a lot of horse diseases. Ha-ha. Anyway, the cyborg ate the holograms and he beat all the nurses down and broke their spirits

and formed them to his will. And then JP riddles the cyborg was the king of all society that swan lumps 2776 the end. JP uncle JP huh did you know that this today is the three year anniversary of hey riddle riddle? well it's that's questionable it will submit say we it by a week, but this is certain that the episode's coming out. You're crazy. And I'm going to pee.

Uh-huh. Every hospital says that you're not allowed to have any more elected surgeries. You actually have to need the surgeries from now on to get them. Yeah, I'll tell you what, that surgery won that election fair and square. It'd be that a lot of other really deserving surgeries to take place on my body. God damn it. No. That a lot of other really deserving surgeries to take place on my body. God dammit. No.

Well, next surgery I'm voting for Adlerify. I'm voting for JPC. And I'm voting for Adlerify. I think he'll be very good. Ooh, I won. And you won by listening to this episode, the three year anniversary, almost. Oh, hey, Riddle Riddle, we made it.

We made it. We made it. it well air just jumped out of a cake and it hurts this hurt that cake is not the kind of cake you come to jump out from it was like that was like a 11 by 9 sheet cake it's just jumped out of it that's a piece of paper and also sucks that your dress is JFK after after That's a piece of paper. It also sucks that your dress is JFK after. After. After. So if this is your first time listening to Hey Riddle Riddle, go back and listen to some of this isn't the greatest introduction, but go back.

Yeah, don't say here. Don't say here. We have a wonderfully packed show for you today. We are so excited and so excited. Thank you all so much for the support, the listenership, the rating, the reviewing, the Patreon supportage, everything. We are so happy to have made it three years. I do have to ask you to. We've made it three years. Do we think my thought is maybe we do one more year with riddles and

then after that we just call the podcast, hey, oh okay. it's like, hey. And then we just talk. I think it's gonna be more like, hey, yeah, we're not doing riddles anymore. Hey. I think that we should keep it riddles, but the episodes, we should make each episode 10 seconds shorter until we get to, and then we replace 10 seconds.

Until we all disappear. And we replace the 10 seconds with the girl from Epidima elevator music. So eventually, for a year from now, it's just, Hey, I'm JPC. To eat, and I'm JPC. That is dude.

I have much more pleasant. This is great. This is actually better for my commute. Can I tell you the eariest thing, which is I haven't thought about or heard that song in I believe 10 to 11 years. Whoa. And today, just today, for the first time in 10 to 11 years,

I thought about the song because Sidiya texted me from set, Sidiya is shooting a TV show in Chicago. And one of the main actors she's working with is from Brazil and she said he keeps singing and I said if he keeps singing ask him to sing girl from ePanema so the first time in a 10 or 11 years that I mentioned or even think about this song JPC brings it up that's the kiss me it's kiss me and you brought it up so why was it in your head because the guy said because it's a Brazilian it's the only Brazilian artist. I know is Huyo Huyo Gerberto. It's like Gerberto and Gets is the artist interesting facing that song. That's the only Brazilian song. I know I have a thing to say about our anniversary. Oh, I think we're talking about Brazilian socks now. Okay. Well, you know, okay

Getting no one need to tie my shoe. Anyone else need their shoes tied? Well, I'm down here. I do. Mine's covered in cake. Deep by shoe tied. I assume. Aaron, what do you have?

I have a thought. Yeah. There are people, human people, who have been listening to our show since the beginning or close to the beginning. We have people. Again, human people with families and jobs and a life who have spent three years listening to a riddle podcast. And if you're even a riddle podcast, it's a nightmare. There are people who from July of 2018 till now said, I know what I'll do.

I got a thought. Those three screeching monkeys are not quite out of riddles yet. Let's give them another shot. Maybe this week they'll nail it. I got to tell you, our fandom is some of the greatest people. I will say second best fandom and the history of fandoms. That's not bad. Number one of course, Jans own Bob fans.

Jans own Bob fans. Jans own Bob fans, you stuck with it. Through thickin' fan, you're still with them. You're Ryder Die, Kevin Smith and the other guy. You rule. We salute you, Jans own Bob fans.S. out, Bob Fanz. And I want to take a moment to introduce my new tattoo. It says, Sniucci Bucci's, and it's right above my asshole.

That's as a crowded spot, Adel. Lots of tattoos there. You're all coated in Ellen's. Your asshole is a crowded spot. Well, what's my favorite peach? What's third then? What's the third greatest fandom? Steven Universe. Steven Universe. Oh peaches. What's third then? What's the third greatest fandom? Steven Universe.

Steven Universe. What's fourth? Cubs Red Sox? Oh, yes. It's Cubs Red Sox or Ty'd at fourth. Cubs Red Sox or Eagles Ty'd at fourth. Okay. I think it's going to be Philadelphia Flyers next because they're on their best behavior

because everyone is terrified of Gritty. Then it's people who actively seek out a Bubba Gump shrimp company in a city that they're going to to eat at, to dinat, to dinat, to eat the food there. That's number six. Human people, eating, dining there. I've realized something, this being our third year anniversary, today I spend a lot of time

wandering around the house, reflecting on this journey that we've been on together. And I've realized Adelis and House of Mirrors. I live in a house of time wandering around the house, reflecting on this journey that we've been on together. And I've realized Adelis and House of Mirrors. I live in a house of mirrors. One of them makes me look real tall, Anthony. I realize that a family can be anything. And in our instance, a family is three people screaming into a microphone.

That's true. In our instance, our family is our families. And this is something we do every week. At the red. At the red. No, no, no, go get that. Jam, don't shake like that. Yeah. So let's get into some of this jam packed.

I'm sorry, let's get into some of this jelly packed show. Because jelly don't roll like that. You just said it and I don't remember it. Aaron and JPC, do you know in romance throughout history is the best way to phrase it? Do you know what the three-year anniversary gift is without looking it up? Oh, I want to say stone. Pork?

OK, I heard stone, I heard pork. I don't think we know. That my big guess right now is hippie's a hit, I don't know. I want to say velcro. I'm changing my answer to velcro from stone to velcro because it's barely hanging on. Uh-huh. Any of my pressure will tear it apart.

A little fun fact. My three-year anniversary with Sean is just a couple weeks before the anniversary of Hey Riddle Riddle. Wow. So three years with Sean just has come and gone. And I didn't look up what the three-year anniversary gift is.

So now I'm starting to feel guilty. But we started dating right before the show started. Yeah, I remember those early episodes that you came into their recordings miserable. And now I forgot that that was why. Yeah, well, the first seven episodes we weren't dating. I was dating someone else. Oh, that guy for Sean. Yeah. I was trying to make a joke in a backpipe. No, no, yeah, that's real. Go back. You can make a sound. Whoopsie, dude. Sean said you should stop seeing that guy you're seeing. He wasn't officially myie, dude. Sean said you should stop seeing that guy you're seeing. He wasn't officially my boyfriend yet, but he was like, stop seeing that guy.

And I was like, okay. You're like, but I have to do a podcast with him. It's gonna be so fucking awkward if I just break up with him right now. And it's a riddle podcast. I got, I got, I can't. Didn't you say that Sean shoved that guy you were seeing into one of the lockers during

During break. Yeah, uh-huh, and then they're both were like how are we here? We don't go to school We're grown adults who've never met Well, and I know I'm again Aaron. I do not want to tell your story But I feel like I've heard this before and I feel like specifically what Sean said was he pushed that other guy over and he said Ditch the zero and get with the hero correct. Yeah, he was trying pushed that other guy over and he said ditch the zero and get with the hero correct. Yeah he was trying to get that guy to date him. Well in the zero was you were drinking a Coke zero right. And he knocked it out of your hands. And then he said have a Coke with Sean. Oh that's a good line. That's a good line. Cokeuse to have everyone's name on it. I do. Including mine. I look for Adel everywhere.

I spent so much money on 24 packs. Would you believe they didn't have a JPC Coke either? Well, to answer your question, which I asked, the third year anniversary gift is more space for each of you. No, the third anniversary gift is leather. Wow. It's gonna be anniversary gift is leather. Wow. It's not fun. Kinky. Wow.

That is weird. What about a full leather? What if I don't want to buy anything that's a real leather? I think leather is acceptable. So for our third anniversary, what it is, just real quick, I made up some alter egos for us, involving leather. So these are SNM alter egos.

Aaron Yeeer-Nae we having fun. Sticks and so many, make my balls fun, they live like that. I think I may have told you guys this but I was very confused because one of my neighbors hung up a flag that I'd never seen before earlier this summer and I thought it was some like weird like blue lives matter flag, but it was the Chicago leather flag and it's black and blue with a little heart on it for black and blue with love.

It is, it was originated in Chicago and it's the official flag for like leather pride. So it's like a bruise? I hear bruises. Yeah, it's like black and blue with love because you know, it's like, you know, the bondage thing is, you know, you get a little beat up, a little rough around the edges

and bruising there, but it's all with love. Uh-huh. It's a fun flag, but it just has like, it has like blue and light blue lines on it, and I was like, is this like a thin blue line thing? Like, what the fuck is this? And I got really upset, and then Mariah Googled it for me because I don't know how to reverse Google

from describing a flag to my phone, and she was like, no, this is a leather flag. it for me because I don't know how to reverse Google from describing a flag to my phone. And she was like, no, this is a leather flag. That's outstanding. I didn't know it was excessive. Neither did I until this summer. Fly your flag is what I say. So real quick, let me just go through our leather alter egos. I'd love to list a couple of flags you shouldn't fly.

That's fair, that's it. So for me, my alter ego, my leather alter ego, smooth Reynolds, I'm a sentient leather duster, I love taking back Sunday and I can't stand bunk beds. Okay. What generator did you use for this? I have a lot of questions. Aaron, I'm glad you have questions because your leather alter ego, just for this episode, for the three year anniversary, feel free to join in. It feels great and then maybe it becomes my entire persona.

Oh, Aaron, you just moved to LA time for a big change. Your leather alter ego. Your leather alter ego is Hannah Cotta. She's a badass, biker, mama. She's one of the heavens demons biker members She's seven foot eight and pulling it off. Yes, please a little bit of noise that my persona is so close to who I am New for the day GPC hold on hold on I'm gonna get like move cowover or some shit like that, right? That's why I can already see where this is going.

It's move cowover. Yeah. JPC, your leather personality for today, your leather alter ego is Pistol Spanx. Whoa. I'm so jealous. Of course, that's a parrot, clad, and all leather with a little leather cap like Marlon Brando in the wild one Okay, and Pissill Spinks is catchphrases

Polly went a cracker. Polly hardly know her. All right. Let me try his brand Polly with a cracker. Polly. How do they know? Okay, I like it Pretty good. Thank you all for indulging me in our leather alterie goes. What did you get me? I got you a billfold. Oh my god. A leather billfold?

A billfold. Okay, what did you get JPC? A wallet. Thank God. Okay. Look like an asshole with a billfold. Do you remember, Adel, I don't know if this happened to you. It's certainly when you said billfold, it was since memory for me.

Do you ever get gifted like a leather wallet for like Christmas or anything like that? Oh, absolutely. My grandma was a rest in peace. My grandma Shirley was the worst gift giver of all time. She got me. You killed her? She doesn't deserve to die for being bad at giving gifts. Sorry, I was just kidding.

She's a good gift card. But every year she would be like, like every year, my senior year of high school has castes Robin Hood and Robin Hood the musical. So that year for Christmas, she got me like 38 different Robin Hood themed gifts. And she's like, that's your thing, right? And I was like, wow. No, I just got cast in this.

And then one time I mentioned that. Damn, she sounds super thoughtful. Yeah, that was thoughtful Yeah, she knew something about that was something you know I was trying to be supportive, but I would mention like she would have a sweater with like an elephant on it I'm like grandma. I love that sweater that oh, oh no, and so the next year for Christmas every single item would be elephant themed Like she get me an elephant little Mini miniature figure she get me an elephant like Z, Zubis pants, everything was elephant themed. I have a bone to pick with you. Okay.

Adel, take a seat. This woman paid such close attention to the very little you gave her about who you were and what you enjoyed. She held onto a memory for a year that you enjoyed elephants and then did her best and we called her the worst gift giver of all time. Well, I'm leading up to it. She's not here to defend herself. And then the year I

think the year I was in college, first in college, she got me all without me saying anything or saying I liked anything or giving any hint at this, she got me all leather stuff. So she got me like a huge matrix style leather trench coat. Oh, a duster. That's fucking awesome. But this was around the time that you absolutely did not want to be wearing those. No, of course not. I'm not gonna say why, but you can intuit why.

So this was like immediately tucked away of like nobody couldn't see this, because that's terrifying. And then also she got me two different wallets that were attached like long chains, almost like zoot-suit walls. Oh yeah, but I never, I never use them. So Dancer, you heard that you were getting teased at college

and she was like, I'm gonna help him out. I got teased at college. I got leather bill folds a lot for some reason. I don't know, maybe because kids lose wallets because they don't have anything important in a wallet. But I remember I got like the, like kind of the ugly like brown leather ones, those like fat like brown leather wallets,

those like just like, you're just describing a wallet. You could put it in your pocket and you'd like be sitting up at an angle for the rest of the day. But one time I got for Christmas a black leather wallet. And I thought that was so fucking cool. And it was like, it was like more sleek. It didn't have like, they had only like a two pocket. I was used to having like the ones that have like three pockets and

like places to put pictures of people and stuff like that, which is like, why would a child need this? Um, I believe that two pocket is, the two pocket wallet is still living like an island right. Still living, not just a hologram. Still making really good wallet accessories. I think I have a theory about why you got so many wallets. Oh. I think that people were always at a loss

for what to get men as gifts for a lot of our upbringing. Like true. I remember always seeing in magazines of like, what to get your dad for fathers there? Like what to get your husband? It there, like what to get your husband. And it's like gift guides for men. And it is the same shit every time. And I go, I don't know any men who want

like this high tech watch and then another wallet. Nope, yeah, exactly. Cause it's just like, a lot of people use wallets because they're functional and they serve like a purpose. But I don't know a lot of people that get super excited they're functional and you they serve like a purpose But I don't know a lot of people to get super excited about like if I were to gift someone a wallet They'd be like holy shit a wallet. I love this. I love that I get to change all of my stuff out and put it into this wallet now I'd be like my dad doesn't need another grill He just doesn't we have every year we get him a grill and our whole backyard is grills. Sorry are you two talking about wallets?

Husbott was trying to find an opening 30 minutes in that did not come It's like a human double Dutch All the doors were locked. I had to crawl in through the window. Happy three year anniversary everyone My husband. How are you? I'm doing well. Thank you for asking. I built you something to celebrate your three-year anniversary. Oh, a buzz buy. And I drew you a bath. Oh, that's a picture of a bath, beautiful.

Uh-huh, I also, this representation of the one that I drew you back there. There's a bath waiting for you whenever you're ready. Clothfoot. Why is there a toaster next to the bathtub? For waffles? For waffles. You have bath waffles, I did.

Baffles, thank you so much. I built you something to celebrate. Would you like to meet it? Yes, we meet. Meet. Hmm. It. Well, speaking of, it's going off the topic

you were just talking about. I built a robot, because I know that you don't enjoy me terribly. Well, so I built you your robot made entirely from leather. It's like a cross between Wally and ET, and it's named WALLET. Oh. Oh.

Okay. It will answer any question you have about the future. I'm sorry, hold on. You skipped over a part plus, does WALLET know the future? We have to assume so. Okay, for the sake of this segment. Uh, wallet, I have a question, are you in any pain?

It looks like you would be in a horrible pain. From what you are. I am in pain. Okay. Ooh, okay. This one pleasant, we should kill wallet, right? I am in pain. Okay. Ooh, okay. This one pleasant. We should kill Wallet, right?

Uh, what do you want to die? Eventually. That would be my answer, too. Oh, Wallet. That's another question about the future. Wallet? Yes. Um, do I ever like start liking something that I think I hate?

Like, when I was younger, I thought I would hate to made- Oh, good question. Is there anything like that that I'll come to love or enjoy? Yes, in the future you will wear only quarter-roy. Ooh, I hope I wear, I live some more cold, because that sounds like hell if I am still in LA. You aren't. Wallet, I have a question.

Meen! You get cast on a Disney cruise. Oh, meen! Wallet, I have a question for you. Yes, anything. So, Wallet, I've been the same weight since high school and this year I've actively been trying to put on weight and I have gained four pounds which wallet that's not enough and it's not part of my goal. Well I ever be any bigger than I am now wallet. Yes.

In six months time. Yep you will have gained and booked up 22 pounds. Oh I I can't wait. I'm gonna be thick as hell And I'll be ready to fight wallet. Thank you so much, buddy Yes, the bomb the bombing fluid will add so much weight. I'm choosing not to hear that Wallet yes, what happens to Puzzbot? Oh Wallet what happens to Puzzbot in the future Puzzbot tries to make waffles in the bathtub and is electrocuted. How far in the future are you from, Ballet? I am not from the future. I can only tell the future. What is this? What is this podcast?

Yeah, that doesn't seem right. What is it? No, no, no. That doesn't look well. Oh, and since he is peeing or yelling at waiters outside or something, No, no, no, no, no, no, no, come out That was very simple that very very simple very simple. Thank you But while it what it's like Adolf's future like adose future. Oh Outcome looks doubtful I Mean JPC dies in six months. Yeah, how much you're gonna add all three what is that again later?

Wait a second. Wait a second hold on hold on. I'm gonna open up wallets back folds here. What? Ew. No, there's a magic eight ball in here. What you found out. You can't tell the future. You're just a magic eight ball inside a wallet. I'm sorry. I thought if I put a magic eight ball in a wallet, you would think it was a new robot. Well, you tricked us wallet. Not true. This is, hey, back here in the bathtub, it's me. Puzzbot. Puzzbot. No, this is dark, even for a riddle podcast, get out of the bath. Puzzbot. Get out of the bath. You got some splinting to do, Puzzbot. Puzzbot. I'm going to chase you. Chase Quick Bay.

Puzzbot. Puzzbot. She would say I'm going to sell. Chase Quick Bay. Puzzbot. Puzzbot, she would say I'm gonna zel you if she was gonna choice Chase Quick Bay you. Zel is robot hell. That's where robots go to die. Well, that's where you belong, Puzzbot. After the frickin' prank, you just pulled on us. Get the hell out of here, Puzzbot.

Get the frick out of here. Should I send in Addle? Yes. If you got a. Wow, the love is, you could cut the love with a knife Like to cut you with a knife plus bot after that shameful display Sorry, I tried to take a quick leak and it just would not come out. You ever have that? I peed on a waiter before if that's what you're asking I

Find that I just can't pee with interaction. I don't know what it is. I've been in a bathroom before and have someone knocking on the stall the entire time I'm in there and you know what? It just, it can't happen. I can't pee if somebody's knocking. Well speaking of knock piss, let's do our first riddle of the three-year anniversary episode. Are we ready for this?

Wow. I'm so ready for this. Since it's our leather anniversary, can we do a quick red leather yellow leather? Oh, please. Red leather yellow leather. Red yellow leather leather leather leather leather leather leather leather leather leather leather. Great, JBC.

Red leather yellow leather. Red yellow leather leather leather leather leather leather leather leather leather leather leather. Okay, now I'll go real quick. Okay. Yellow bed leather is the it. Love it. Okay, now I'll go real quick. Okay. Yellow Bed Letter is the best pro jam song. Okay. Kevin was praised for the great novels he had written.

His athletic accomplishments were given the highest accolades and his artworks were given the greatest compliments. Despite all these superior statements, Kevin was not considered a success. Why? Okay, so we got great athlete, great artist, great intellect. Novelist. Novelist. Yep, Kevin was praised for the great novel he had written. His athletic accomplishments were given the highest accolades, and his artworks were given the greatest compliments. Despite all these superior statements, Kevin was not considered a success.

Why? Is Kevin like a printing press or like an object? I love that answer. And it's gonna be a dead stop. I love that. And why are you so dumb? The first self stop. This is amazing. This is like, this is why we have Tesla building

these self driving cars. Is it so, is it so people can self stop whenever they need to? I want to see a scene. Aaron, you are, I want to say Steve Gutenberg, who invented the printing press. Please academy. Please academy printing press. JPC, you are the first, I think the the Bible was the first book published with the printing press. I believe so. So who knows? Please don't fact check us on this. Aaron, I want you to be Gutenberg and you just created printing press and made your first book JBC you are the first Bible hot off the presses and you two are having a a conversation

Press Look at me I finished this took so long holy gu guacamole, I'm thick as a brick. Oh, I'm the big boy. Wow, can I ask you a question? Meet the Bible, sure. Yeah, who wrote you? Well, who created you? Who wrote you?

Now, okay, interesting point of distinction. Who do you want to talk to? Do you want to talk to Old Testament? You want to talk to New Testament? Uh, New Testament. I feel like that did the most damage so far. All right. Just flip me up into a halfway. This is by the way I'm Old Testament. You got to flip me open to a least about halfway. Hi

Are you high? Am I what are you high? What time is it? Oh my god? Is this is this is a forget it what is this is a job interview No, this is not a job interview at New Testament. I just wanted to ask you some questions I wanted to ask the Bible. I dig your vibes man. Hey, I just want to get from you Thank you, but so you got blue eyes New Testament. You would be a fucking pervert you clap This is so classic. You're such a pervert. New Testament Is it I just want like to hear it from you? There are no white people in the Bible, right? I'm sorry No white people in the Bible not a single white person's in there. Hey man listen to me and I'm gonna be very

very clear a clear on this If you're in the Bible You're all right in my book. That's not what I said. And I'm the book. All right, New Testament. I got a new question. You got a new question? I got a New Testament.

Jesus. Moses came first and then the New Testament came calling. New Testament. Are you? Are you trying to get high? I got a question. You're as green or blue. I cannot figure you out.

Oh my gosh. New Testament. Do you have that? Hey, okay, hey your hey your shaft your press man your rules Sorry Gutenberg. I was walking by your shop. I know the hours are late But are you talking to someone in here? I know there's a lot of rumors about I have a very real wife in here She's very real and she's my wife It's not a printing press that I put on my penis. Do you need to play your wife? I can play your wife new Testaments got all kinds of stuff in it. I feel like you're sort of a firecracker right now

I feel like I can't do it. As per the timing as per the time and error that we live in, could I please hear your wife say something out loud? Okay, yeah, you're up. Okay. Baby, I just made a big play the Huyvos Ranch Huyvos. I hope you're hungry. Is that true New Testament? I'm hungry now.

No, I'm a book. I cannot cook, but if you could cook, I'm hungry as heck. Soon. Ha ha ha ha. Show me the Bible word says Huyvos Rancheros. But if you could cook, I'm hungry as heck. Scene. Show me the Bible where it says, Huevosorncheros. Hey, which, depending on which Bible you're in now, you know what I'm saying? Just give me a dart, and if I throw it, I bet I'll hit the exact page where it says it. I would love it if you were just flipping through the Bible at random,

and they were like, in a Zechial of the Queeth, a big plate of Huevosorncheros to Zachary. And Moses said unto them, have some gushers, y'all. Oh. And Moses said, let's part these nachos and split them down the middle. And speaking of part of these nachos and split them down the middle,

oh, no, never mind. We have not finished this riddle, never mind. All right, so. So, what are we things going on with Kevin? Kevin was praised for the great novel he had written. His athletic accomplishments were given the highest accolades and his artworks were given the greatest compliments despite all these superior statements. Kevin was not considered a success. What the f is going on?

I was going to say is something like, I don't think this is right, but like, himming way or like one of those people that was like, I think himming way was a success in his time. But one of those people that was not successful in their day, but became like, what are those painters? There was a bunch of painters that died that miserable. Uh, Van Gogh, sure. Or, I think Dali died, Pindy, this maybe. Not the right direction here.

Um, this, you, no, so it's not that he was appreciated uh, posthumously. Gotcha. This is, here's what I'll say. Um, this you know, so it's not that he was appreciated Posterously gotcha this is Here's what I'll say he only he only had one supporter. He only had one critic in fan He only have one kid and fan excuse me. He's a kid Explain he's a kid. He's a kid doing all these things for his parents And one parent is to do shit around the house. Yeah, you know Like how kids are just like do stuff and everyone's always like good job

You know how you paint and frame a $80,000 piece of art and then your parents put a magnet on it on the fridge Um, Aaron I'm gonna go ahead and give it to you What's going on is that all the praise, accolades, and compliments work heavens about himself. Oh, it's sort of a Stuart Smalley situation. Oh, I would like to see a scene. That's so sad. Adel, you are a, I'll let's say a chef,

and you've just made a dinner for one, and you're trying to give your compliments to the chef, which is you. What we have here is sea scallops. They're drizzled with a mingo chutney. We have a sushiong of Grolde Sparigas with sea salt and caramel. And we also have some cherry tomatoes and a reduction of duck fat vineinaigrette. Very good, thank you. Okay. Ooh, my compliments to the me. Okay, I'm getting the tanginess. I get a little

umami. The duck fat is almost like, it almost tastes like faw gras. It's beautiful just glowing after, oh that's what I was going for, sorry. That's what I was going for. Oh, good, good, good, good. Now the Asparagus Woodens' this add, it's a little limp. Okay, well, I was just working with the produce you provided me.

These are not in season, asparagus is not in season. If you'd given me some Himmica or some green onion, I could have done something a little bit better. Oh, that's fine, that's fine. Okay, well, why don't you go back to the kitchen and await the judges decision. Judges? Okay, I think this is bad. Yeah, I think this is also pretty bad. Yeah, I'd say this is the worst food I've ever eaten. It's almost an edible. I'm hiding it in the pocket of my cheek like a squirrel.

Can you come back out here, Chef? Yes? This is very bad. This food is very bad. I'm here with Chef Livingston, who just got a scathing review in the New York Times from himself. Chef, what did it feel like to get such a harsh review from a food critic?

That was also yourself. Well, it's a pretty tough blow, but I don't want to blame anyone, but I do want to say that the other day in the alley I was out behind the restaurant and a smaller version of me hit under my hat and was pulling my own hair to direct me where to go and how to cook. So that sounds like an excuse, Chef. And if you could say anything to yourself right now, what would you say? Well, I'd have to say that I'm definitely not 50 spiders

in a balloon and, bye. Uh, back to you, Kyle, and the studio who's gonna talk about all those spiders that got loose. Kyle. Yeah, I'm freaking out. I saw that balloon popping. I saw those things scattered everywhere.

And I'm taking off my shoes and my socks. Why? I think they're on my feet and I want to be able to see them if they're on my feet. We all work as one. Speaking of we all work as one, we all work for fun. Let's go.

I thought we were going to all say let's go to break together. Yeah, let's do it. Well, on account of three year anniversary. One year anniversary, two year anniversary, three year anniversary. Three year anniversary. Let's go to, fuck, just, Casey put them in here.

Spiders! Hey, GPC. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, to advise. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stay in doubting to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website. It gays with your audience and say let me think for products to cut into time all in one place all on your terms. Hey, Otto. Come here. Come here. Come here. Hey, what's what's going on? I actually, I want to prank GPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Um, do you have any thing that like is there like a online store that could set up on my website to sell products?

Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch, you can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production, and inventory and shipping are handled for you, saving you time and money. What is happening?

Okay. Wait, what's going on with Addle? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing, new, and easy on shoot you. And I'm gonna use analytics, use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website, the prank activity. Whoa, that's awesome,

Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for I can't remember what's the website for prank square space you can connect to your store to vetted third party tools to extend the functionality of your website Hey jpc hey jpc. What's up, Adam? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com

for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked.

But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adel and JPC. Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an impasse. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, they're never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that?

Like, have they're never truly is a middle. No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually, so as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Because sometimes Aaron in life

were faced with tough choices, and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career, relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therap therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow, sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods.

Mmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works, way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly

the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Oh, dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down.

Anyways, let there be your map with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help h-e-l-p dot com slash riddle r-i-d-d-l-e R-i-d-d-l-e the middle of riddles of d but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the lidocapy. I'm hoping at home. Bye, baby. I'm home. Who are we? I'm clink clink clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen.

I just want to make a quick toast to I know it's JPC's birthday and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app rocket money. Oh, yeah, Aaron. That's one of my favorite things as well. Huh? Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially

around tax season. Kling, cling, cling, cling, cling. Sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket Money. a sponsor and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, cling, cling, cling, cling. Sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly, and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel. And Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy.

Kling, cling, cling. Mm-hmm. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off. Over three million, over three million people have used Rocket Money, saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love Rocket money.

Stop, stop, stop, stop. No, click, click, click, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwanted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocket money.com slash riddle. That's rocket money.com slash riddle. Rock at money.com slash riddle. And tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website. Click like, click like, click, click, click. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, these times. Hello. Hello. You've been sent a singing telegram. Someone has sent me for eleven dollars to give you a three year anniversary. They must be a mistake.

Yeah, they must be a mistake. Everyone here is dead. So what you did? Spooky ghosts. I landed on the roof like Santa Claus. And I got something in common with those reindeer's. My body shape. I'm Coco Cashmere. I'm looking for the roof right now, and Santa Claus does not mess the shingles up that bad. This is wrecked up there.

Yeah, also you have four legs. Uh-huh. And I have a big fur coat in my eyes twinkle. And your nose is red because you're drunk. You're visible, drunks. It's a disease. It's true. It's true.

Alcoholism is a disease. Happy anniversary from your old friend, Aaron, who saw me coming and took off running faster than I've ever seen someone run. Was that the song? It was more like spoken word. I haven't stated yet. Oh God, hey, help me down from this ceiling and I'll start to sing. Is this part of the song or I just I don't want to wrap. Okay, I'll be quiet. How are you? No, that's pretty good. I do not interrupt. Sorry. All right It's your

anniversary and you have a hard time trying to pee. I Sorry, bye accident. You had to pee but you couldn't. JPC is a pervert. Okay. He has fun and he's number one but he's actually number three after Adelanderin. Sucks to hear, sucks to find out this way your podcast does it work it has a terrible premise in it has three terrible people who I'm very funny, but Even Where they're not very nice? Oh, she's very I mean I guess I always knew all this stuff I just don't like to hear it. It's almost if you gave three blenders,

three different microphones, and called it a podcast. I just realized I came to the wrong place. This song wasn't for you. No, no, it was just a... I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I came to the wrong place. Goodbye I fell through the floor she just floated up through the fireplace while saying I fell through the floor Well, I think when you were turned around as she was the floor the fireplace. It's all kind of the same thing

Hey I will say she was doing a handstand Then she said I'm falling through the floor and then she floated up through the Fireplay Aaron I am back guys. What's more Hey Riddle riddle that someone's saying? I'm doing this thing and the other two saying no, you're not not even a little Yeah, I don't know I Nothing Aaron the answer is nothing is more Hey Riddle riddle than that. I'm sorry that was a long No, it's perfect Aaron. thank you so much eleven dollars that's

that's um... very kind of you to spend a lot of time i didn't buy that i did that was for me oh thank you yeah thank you i totally forgot can i be honest with you?

i ordered that two years ago oh that's pretty good you had enough faith in the show that you thought that we would be. No, she got the details completely wrong. I ordered that four-hour anniversary two years ago. You guys, I gotta say, I can see the sounds on my recording.

It's not great. Oh, man, it's just a wall of sound for several minutes. That's horrible. I get it. I get it people threw their phone into space because of this episode. Sure. Speaking of this episode, let's do another riddle in this episode. Flawless segue. Thank you.

Susie had planned her escape from jail for weeks. Her diabolical plan involved eating nothing but chocolates and sweets. Susie avoided washing her face. The plan worked. Susie was still in jail two weeks later. What's going on? So Susie was trying to get out of jail. Yes. And she ate a bunch of chocolates and the plan worked and then she was still in jail two weeks later. Her plan to get out of jail was to eat nothing but chocolates and sweets and avoid washing her face. The plan worked, but Susie was still in jail two weeks later. Um, she works in jail.

Okay, okay. She was a guard and she wanted to go home sick. Okay, everybody's working in a prison. Can we have a hint? The hint is Pupa Pupa Rebecca gay heart Oh, okay, I think I think We're thinking hard. They yeah, the hint is I want to say Jessica Simpson one of the symptoms I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. These are true hints. Rebecca Gayheart and I believe Jessica Simpson are actual hints. Are these, so she ate a bunch of chocolate. Now is that supposed to be really bad for your complexion? Did Jessica Simpson do a proactive commercial? Okay, okay, she did. Or like Nutrigena or something like that.

I feel like Jessica Simpson did Rebecca Gayheart do it. Uh, hmm, hmm. I don't even know who that is. I'm Jessica Simpson with Proactive. You don't want to be humiliated, do you? My younger sister, Ashley Simpson, lip-synced on SNL, and she's never been able to live it down. Don't be like her.

Get Proactive. Proactive, prevents you from limpsing, you mean you're f**king obsessing? Hi, I'm Aaron Carter. I threatened to kill my brother Nick Carter. I'll still kill you if I ever see you again, motherfucker! Proactive. Be proactive about threatening to kill your brother

who was in the backstreet points. Hi, and I'm Jimmy Carter, former president and peanut farmer. You know, peanuts can cause a lot of acne. Eat peanuts. Get the hell out of your Jimmy Carter. Guys, help me push him out of the door. God damn it! Stop coming here! Now let's do it hell out of your Jimmy Carter guys, help me push him out of the door okay

god dammit stop coming here now let's do it up out of the chimney let's do a quick death pull who do we think is going down first? Jimmy Carter, heirs Carter honestly, heirs Carter honestly, heirs yeah Jimmy will outlive us all

so jbc you are circling the target so definitely it's so she wanted to escape from jail. Think about another way to phrase that. She wanted to escape from jail. Another way to phrase it. Break out. She wanted to break out. Bingo. Bingo. Oh, Dingo. Dongo. Freaking gourd. Who wants to break out? Suzy hope that by eating sweets and not washing her face she would break out. She did break out. But not out of jail, yes, silly, Billy. I want to say, I gotta say, this is a person who does not belong in jail because they cannot get the mental health resources

they need to jail because if their plan was to break out by eating chocolate and making their face explode, they need to be in a different facility. We're not helping this person. What was their crime? Tell me their crime. Tell JPC their crime. Double murder.

Never mind. So sorry. It's in the index here. Yeah, Susie killed three people. At a comedy club with her jokes. She's bad. She's banished. She has to leave the kingdom to work with.

She's in prop comedy. I want to see a scene. JPC, you are on a first date and you have a bit of a breakout on your face. Just maybe one pimple that's kind of popped up and said hello. And you are in the bathroom before the date trying to talk to this pimple, trying to get it to go away. And you're on to this pimple trying to get it to go away. I'm here and you are the pimple Okay, just be yourself. I keep the conversation light and breeze what the fuck is that? Oh my god

What what are you doing you were not here this morning you are not here this morning? What are you doing here a pimple on my face? No, I am going on a date you get the fuck out of here Look because you're Uncitely and I'm trying to impression of this person and you're the only thing that they're gonna remember because you're right on my face She's not even good enough for you Okay, she's a veterinarian. Yeah, that's stressed you out so much and now I'm here You really want to be with someone who loves animals and takes care of animals like I don't know She seems like a good person from everything that we you know We've texted a little bit like it seems okay. Well, I'm smart too, and I'm interesting too

And I'm going out to dinner with you guys and if I ruin your date that everyone your date Wait a second wait a second wait a second. No, this can't be happening. I can't be I'm not competing with you for my attention Okay, you're everybody look at me. No get me everybody Fuck you. Hello Hi, are you I'm Samantha you Dustin. Hey, so nice to meet you. Oh Who's your friend? I'm a friend. This is uh,

Dustina. Oh. Dustina, say hello. You're not good enough for him. Three more wines please. What do you guys want? Sorry, I just need to have a couple lines on the way over here. Just maybe just ignore her and I'm really interested to know about you said that you are taking a pottery class? That sounds fun.

Um, I never said that. Okay, I said that. Wait a second. Hold on, let me check my phone. Justina, have you been texting me? I can get all my friends out here and and we're all gonna be out here soon. You want me to do that? No, no, please, I cannot, please do not have any more of your friends come.

I'm gonna call them. No, I'm not touching my face. Oh, you must have drank some Zinfandel because I see a white head just popped up. Hey, it's party Ricky, everybody. Woo! Party Ricky brings the cocaine. Party Ricky's my ex ex and are you happy that he's here now? Are you jealous? Not not really I'm gonna remove myself from the situation. I'm so sorry Samantha. I think that she was talking to me. No, I don't know why

party Ricky's here. I don't know why I would have cocaine in my face. It doesn't make any sense to me. I'm at the police police This is not indicative of an evening that I wanted to have okay Let's just let's just settle down. We'll have a nice meal I heard that this chef was rated number one in the tricec area by himself. Okay, he graduated from James cordon blue college Culinary Institute. So what's the menu here? Okay? We have holopino poppers What else I would like to say something I know that I'm a little drunk and I know that I'm just a zit on your face speak your truth girl

but the last two days we have spent together have been the only of my life and I think that this is just a really good place to be and I like like that. Everyone looks at me and I like that. And I'm like, I'm mean. And I mean, go out with me. Oh, she's retreating. She's retreating. What, wait, wait, I mean, I didn't know that you felt that way about me and...

I love you. Was you talking to me? Cause I am over her. See, we know when we ever visit David Party Ricky a little more. We do. Everybody needs a Zit like party Ricky. Yeah.

If my Zits were like party Ricky, I wouldn't hate them so much. Speaking of hate so much, would you two like to be introduced to a new segment called Adelbrained? Yeah. Yeah. Is this a real segment? Sure. Do you know what the term adult means?

Yes, it's scrambled. Yep, so adult means unable to think clearly or confused. That's what it means to be adult or adult-brained. What? You've never heard that? It's a real word. I have, yeah, adult. Like brain-addled, okay?

So this segment is called adult brained. And what it is is, I just wrote down some things while I was high the other night and I wanted to run them by you. Oh my God. I had to wait three years for the perfect segment, but it was worth the wait. Oh my, hit me.

If this can be a segment, anything can. So we're gonna keep this to one minute so that I don't get hate mail. Okay So here's my first high thought. Hey the BC boy should come out with some over-the-counter medicine. They should be called cough drops Interesting You know here's what I think I think that the BC boys could do like a co-branding thing with Ricola and they could do that That I think that would at least boys could do like a co-branding thing with Rikola and they could do that that I think that would at least be a commercial. Yeah, absolutely. Here's another one that I wrote when I was stoned out of my fucking

Gord any blowjob from a muffin is a handjob No Aaron we don't have we only have 30 seconds left. Okay. I was just gonna say I have no opinion about that one Okay, it was so Awesome and so terrible at the same time that it looked back around to neutral somehow. Okay, here's another one that I wrote down when I had 15 milligrams of THC I went to the zoo the other day and I talked to the guy cleaning up the gorilla shit and I said what's going on here? And he said this shit is bananas. Oh here and he said this shit is bananas. Oh, because that's what because they've eaten a lot of bananas. Okay. I gotta tell you, I can't, I've just been hearing screeches since the month at one. Okay. I can't hear a goddamn word. I like that joke. I think that there's a way that you

workshop into that joke that it is, Gwen Stefani, who is putting up this bullshit. Oh yeah. That's, I like that better. Thank you. And this is, I forgot to mention, this is me workshopping. Great. Future mentor. Sure. Yeah.

What if the next one was just like a really dark, existential thought that he had when he was high? They've all been jokes, but that doesn't mean they all will be jokes. Like the one where he was like, how are there still trees? We need, humans don't deserve trees anymore. I truly freaked out.

I truly freaked out. And the last one is, can a mom ever love me? No. The last one, here's the last one. This is the one that I wrote at the pinnacle of me being my most-stoned. Gotcha, yeah. Pino Noir sounds like something Pat Sejack says. Pino no are sounds like something Pat Sejak says Okay, so not not noir like the style like no are like so like somebody's guessing on wheel of fortune I'll be a fortune. Pat Sejak shows P no are no are

So that's I think that you have to have so much in your life Be lined up in order to understand that joke right away. I think you have to be like older. I think you have to have like a certain experience. I gotta say this segment makes me want to take more edible. Now, now I will say that that has a place somewhere. You just have to find the perfect place to slot that in, right? Where the, the, the, what you're looking for is the intersection between watching real

fortune and drinking wine, where that would make like sense. So maybe like a scene from the movie sideways, where they just like stop to watch a little real fortune. That could go in there. Adel, how do you know what? Let me just quickly get high. And then I feel like I'm on the same. Okay. I would, I would appreciate any camaraderie because I'm feeling a little exposed. And I'm back and the only thing I came up with is a muppet giving a blow job is somehow a hand job and fisting at the same time. Ah sucks to hear my joke improved upon you.

And that was adult brain. But now I'm high and I don't know what to do. Adult, adult, we don't deserve trees. Humans don't deserve trees anymore, adults. They were a kids and we don't deserve them. Honestly, think of all the buildings in the world, think of all the glass, think of all the cars, think of all the objects we own. Every human owns probably 50,000 objects, right?

It's honestly, go around your boat and count them. How do we still have resources left? One. How do we still have oceans? My treasures. How do we, how does sand turn into glass? Huh? Sit down with me and walk me through that, buddy.

How does sand get turned into glass? Unbelievable. You can't see through sand. OK, so I'm thinking like, Beck is a vegan and something with like grapes in a wrap and like John Stein Beck with grapes in a wrap. I haven't done drugs in a long time guys, apologies, so this is, I'm trying my best.

I think they've heard apologizing. Okay, okay, okay. Well, let's take a break from America's least favorite segment. And let's do another one. I enjoyed that. That was my favorite segment you've ever done. And I wish it was longer. Oh, that sucks to hear.

Because I put little to no effort into that. Okay, being that high and that scared does take effort, buddy. Well, it's just great. And truth, Adel, our favorite segment that you ever did was just the intro to the segment Animal Parade. We both really enjoyed it. Can I tell that story really quick?

I just want to set the record straight on that. Let's read hash. Okay. You can read hash. Anything that happened in the last three years. I love it. This is your time. This is great.

This is what I want to rehash. Okay. Before we recorded that episode, Adel said, I'm going to introduce a couple new segments or a new segment. All I ask is that you go along with it in your enthusiastic. And your enthusiastic. And the reason I said that is because sometimes I introduce segments or I introduce a pus-bottom as a character.

And immediately we hate him. And you notice Adel before this recording, you forgot to tell us about your Adel's brain and how do we react the wrong way? Aaron as I was saying Sometimes I yell about Puzzbot and sometimes around episode 60 you guys don't let me speak And this is sort of how it goes on a riddle riddle So this is my bone I need to pick Addle says have a good attitude and. And I said, I love that.

I can do that. He sets up instructions on for what we're supposed to do. Like, Duffin with a hand grenade, and we do the whole thing. And we love it with no sense that there's going to be something after it. And he got so pissed that we loved it. Because we had no, and then we were like, oh, could we do it again? And you were like, oh, can we do it again?

And you were like, this sucks. That's not the segment. That's not the segment. And we were like, how are we to know? Give us a little credit for the enthusiasm. We brought to the table about seeing animals do it. As you can see, a segment could be anything. It could be anything.

We were so happy and so happy for you, for us. And you were like, that's not the segment. And we were like, we, we, we, we opened it, we loved it, we loved it. I'm sorry for playing the role of King Fresh and bringing in all these exciting new ideas. Okay, we'll hold on. We have fresh.

I want to, you know, I want to enter this into the record because this is a chat from Casey. Well, recording that just says, I was just a surprised That wasn't the full segment Everyone thought that was the full segment Okay, should be the spokesperson for for breeze Well, JP C adult who has the bone to pick?

I don't have a bone to pick but I will say I was Move on. I will say now that you brought it up. Aaron, here's what I'm gonna do. You brought up a bone to pick. So what I'm gonna do is I'm going to... You're gonna rehash something. I'm gonna try and make things right. Okay.

So I'm gonna try and resolve your bone picking. And so what we're gonna do is we're gonna do... I'll take the femur. We're gonna do an animal parade. And this is the new version of animal parade which is just the intro, nothing else. Okay. Oh, I love it. And this is the new version of animal parade, which is just the intro, nothing else, okay? Oh, I love it. But this is the all leather edition.

This is our 30th anniversary, which is the leather anniversary. So we're all leather edition. So here we go, I'll start us off. Why don't we go on myself and then Aaron and then JPC and then back to itself, okay? Here we go. Let's get started with the dut dut duts. Just a point of clarification, Adel,

do you mind just doing the dut dut duts. Just a point of clarification, Adel, do you mind just doing the Dut Duts because it's hard to sink that with all three of us on the Zilanec? Absolutely, absolutely. So here we go. Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut A rat with a handbag. Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut

A bovine with the slipped disc. Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut Dut A walrus who won't be kink shamed. A butterfly with a whip. A caterpillar with a ball gag. A clamu wants you to step on a snack. A shark who's gonna step on his neck. A seahorse in a sex swing.

A dog name can cade. And a little parade. End of segment. Wow, what a great segment. Perfect. Perfect. No, I'm wants to rehash anything else because I think it's just because you guys don't remember recording anything from the. I have a rehash. I on to rehash anything else because I feel like it's just because you guys don't remember recording anything from just I got

I have a rehash I have a rehash my rehash I don't laugh because I'm right We had an episode a few weeks ago, I would say not too long ago probably a couple of months ago where we all Red or Red all that was the basis of I believe one of our like more famous bits on the show and I don't think any one of us remembered that that was we it was a repeat riddle and none of us remembered that it was the that it was the basis of what that bit was I'm dying here because I don't now remember and now yeah I was gonna say I was like why are you saying do you forget I don't know the bit I just don't know it was the saffron riddle.

Where the person comes to Steelon's saffron. And we did it with a different spice that was not saffron. And then there was a bit that we did based on that. Hey, don't tell me. I'll just forget it again. Let me get this straight. You're scolding us for not remembering something. And you can't remember what this goal does about.

I was scolding myself because that's where I feel more comfortable. Aaron, if you're way more comfortable directing a battle, that's sort of fine. That's your journey. That's great. I love that for you. If I take too close of a look at myself,

I won't like what I see. OK. OK. I've decided one that's very hard to remember, remember riddles, I'm sure we've done a ton as thank you listeners for not pointing them out. Hopefully we haven't got through all our emails so maybe you have, I have a bone to pick. Yes.

With the two of you. Ooh. Somewhat recently, within the last year. Okay. I introduced a segment called Adelbrand. Now, when I was high and I wrote these down, they were hilarious. I could just stop giggling.

If he has a card, it gets revoked. He should have revealed the Bible. Adel, your brain's a little laugh factory, my man. And you're the foreman. And I wrote these down and I chuckled to myself and I said, I'm gonna wake up and I'm gonna share these with my friends. And then I thought, why not share them with my friends? I'm afraid of pages at the laugh factory. They need to be nice at all I love it listen up

buddy we got to get you a Twitter account we got to get you a Twitter account that's for these belong I have a Twitter account but these are not funny enough for Twitter at all okay at all I loved our 420 episode where we wrote Riddles High. That was so good. Your high brain is great. It's also why I love texting at you at like three in the morning on like a random weeknight because you're gonna say the funniest shit I've ever heard.

I'm up. Here's what I'll say. I've tried Twitter and I'll put out, I'll put out what I think is a funny joke and it'll get two likes, and one retweet, a quote retweet that's like, look at this fucking loser. But then some teen will tweet like,

hey, I just outpeats at the hut, I'm shaking, and they'll get 500,000 retweets. Yeah, it's not fair, it's for the teens, can I tell you guys? Sorry, that made me laugh. Yeah, I just outpeats at the hut, I'm shaking. I'm sorry, that's different. Where now I have to tweet that. Well, I'm shaking. I'm sorry, I just... Now I have to tweet that.

Well, while we're all talking about things, if you tweet it quickly and I will re-tweet it. If you tweet anything and then after we say, I'm shaking, it's 500 likes minimum. Guaranteed. There's a tweet that's been sitting in my drafts. I don't tweet much, but this is a tweet that's been sitting in my drafts.

I think it's funny, I don't think it translates. I actually don't think it's funny. I'll go out on a limb. I think it's a funny thought, but I don't tweet much, but this is a tweet that has been sitting in my drafts. I think it's funny. I don't think it translates. I actually don't think it's funny. I'll go out on a limb. I think it's a funny thought, but I don't think it translates. And this, the tweet has asked for us. It's been sitting in my draft. I want to say maybe two years. Okay. And it's, takes a big sip of Topo Chico. Hmm.

I thought this would be more Topo Chico. But I don't know how to do that little hand spin on Twitter. Because you need the hand spin. Sure. I love it. I thought this would be more of a double chico. I think the next step in Twitter is to add justiculations so that you can do like a,

you're not eating or like chef kit like there needs to be just like a little gift of someone doing that because I can feel me right now turn it into a gift. But the gift would go post that, because I can feel me right now, turn it into a gift. And then you can. The gift would go post tweet, right? Yeah, the gift would go words. The gift would go post tweet. There is the only gift that comes in mind that I've seen recently, not really a gift,

but there was like a 10 second video of the Italian soccer team, like backstage, all talking to each other. And every single one of them is just like, talking with their hands, like throwing their hands everywhere. It's so funny. It's so funny. It's so funny. Speaking of so funny, what have got damn to light?

To do our third anniversary episode, and honestly, it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders Aaron, when you introduce this rehash segment. Thank you so much for the rehash. Yeah, my, what I actually want to rehash is how much I enjoy the show. I really want to just yell at you guys about how much I've enjoyed this. And how it's been a real bright spot. And something that is so consistently funny in my life is such a blessing. And sometimes I don't think I deserve it.

I have some imposter syndrome in observing something so beautiful in my own life. I think that this is a dream. So thank you. Oh nice. Listen up, you twin fucks. I think that this is a dream. So Nice listen up you twin fucks. I love you and I'm happy to be doing this together And I hope we get to keep doing it. Oh Can I can I okay. Yeah. Oh, yeah, do you see anything sure? These last three years have been some of the happiest years of my entire life. Is that something? Tough guy? The show's a joy.

The show's a joy that's so glad, so glad people enjoy it. Fuck you two, fuck the listeners, fuck Casey, fuck already, fuck everybody. Fuck everybody, your name is... Oh, fuck everybody, oh these people, so nice, so talented. Everyone who's helped us along the way. Oh my gosh. Sandy, everyone, everyone, Pat, people so nice so talent everyone who's helped us along the way all our guests sandy everyone everyone

everyone is up this ever and all our guests ever well I mean you know I think that us yelling and saying each other something's not pretty nicely so I gotta ask yeah I gotta ask do you have anything to plug I have nothing to plug oh classic classic I know we already mentioned it up top, but go check out the new stuff that we have on the Patreon. We're really excited about our,

there are like Riddle, City High, ask new chapters that we're putting out on the Patreon. They're gonna be a ton of fun. Gonna be a lot of fun. Oh, so fun. I actually do have something to plug. I wanna plug my appearance recently on the Bill Buds podcast.

We reviewed the album Rocking the Subbers by Ben Folds.s i know i mentioned this last week but right now you've had a week to listen to it now is your time to to listen to it again also also uh... the the third season of magic tavern is wrapping up right now so listen to the final episodes of our third season before we take a break and then start a new season and then uh... also also I wanna give a shout out to my sister, Sidiya Raffai, who's so funny and so talented. And I'd say check out our podcast that we did together a few years ago called Siblings Peculaire,

pronounced peculiar, I'm sorry, spelled peculiar, pronounced peculiar. And JVC and Aaron were both on episodes. And if nothing else, give a listen for those two and for my amazing sister, Sadia. And just to plug it even further, I don't remember what I did on that episode. So I think a demon hunter. Cool.

Aaron, every three years, the stars align. And to do this, I forget what I was doing. Jupiter! Bye. You don't have to. I won't make you. You don't have to think you gotta do anything. I'll just say it. Thank you.

Bye forever. And because it's our third anniversary, I thought I would now add an additional thing that I see at the end of the podcast episode. So from now on, hold on. Hold on, let's do it in order. So Aaron. Okay Jupiter Bye forever. Waka Waka kids. It's fully gone though

Don't worry. I won't be doing I already heard you in the middle of the day. Focal created by Emily Cardamus and Emily DeMorris. My deep, bitter, hate, break, break, go. Aaron, what was your idea to kick off the shoe? No, you do it. It's an anniversary special. It's it's my anniversary and I don't have to plan everything at all Can you do something for once you open the show please? I I made I brought you breakfast in bed

I did this whole thing for both of you and now you can't come in here and start crying now. Are you happy? Who's Penelope? What is this my college ocapella group? Pull this closure, it's treble and paradise. Casey put this at the end of the episode. No, put it at the beginning. Hey there favorites and moments. If you like that, you're going to love this week's Patreon.

We rewind the clock and do a review game where we talk about our old episodes and who said what? You can listen to that plus our entire bat catalog by joining the crew crew for $5 a month or the review crew for $8 a month. See you there!