Hey Riddle Riddle - #163: September Santa

Episode Date: September 1, 2021

It's the first episode of September, so you know what that means! That's right, it's time for September Santa! What's he all about? Well, uh, you just gotta listen to the episode, I guess. All that, plus we've got a new twist on an old sitcom trope, a burglary gone way wrong, a couple of buff birds, the first day of class, new tricks for an old dog, a visit to our founding fathers, a deranged children's toy, bouncing ideas off a kindly stranger, and a climb to the top with a swift drop. What's YOUR favorite September food? Let us know and make sure you tag #SeptemberSanta Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready!

I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready!

I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! and all gather around. Ho ho ho ho. September Santa? That's right, you guessed it, you guessed the bit. It's me, September Santa Claus. Wow, you're dressed.

September Santa, what did we do to deserve this? You're dressed all in yellow. You're wearing yellow shorts, a yellow tank top, a backwards yellow, a whole whole. Which is hard to tell when that's backward but I assume it's backwards. A seasonally a little late for shorts but we haven't hit Labor Day yet.

Oh oh oh oh. Your reindeer are pencils for the first day of school. Uh huh. Your what else. You have a potato sack behind you. Oh yes. It's full of something but it's well It's it's for it's not presents September Santa. Oh, oh, oh, oh brought some of your favorite September time snacks for Adel

Here's this glad to describe Oh, this is just a this is just a schedule for baseball since baseball is still going on Okay, so you were thinking of other things and not snacks that's I Ho ho ho one strike on the naughty list for September said to Aaron. He is yours. I can see you googling something You're a demo typing I'm not doing anything Aaron just do what I do Apple Aaron go over there so I can give up with apples Okay well well Also corn Yes, also corn

Some fresh seasonable vegetables for all I Just wanted to stop by the podcast today to tell you both of you you're doing an excellent job And he's got a nice man. You he's got a knife the knife is to carve into our September ham Okay September Santa can you head out because I already have the September scary I didn't want summer to end and you're really bumming me out. So can you take your okay? Let me stay for like it's a skateboard It's actually one of those like hoverboard things that you see the people on you know

Oh, I'm the one orb in the middle and they like yeah Yeah, I'm the Santa on the bottom of the skateboard. It says slay SLA. Why that's the brand that's a skateboard man All right, well, summer Santa. I guess I'll fuck off. I guess what you want to get ready for Halloween Oh, we were summer Santa. Sorry September Santa. It's always it's always the same with you Summer Santa season goes all through August September Santa gets maybe like two minutes Before you know, he has to get out of here because you want to put up Halloween decorations Aaron I'm on to I do see what's going on. This is San Gria Santa. Oh Brother look you don't know what I am

You don't want to be a sugar drunk man. You'd anything but that don't add sugar. I'm out of here drunk Come Crampler come scrambling come Greg, you're still with me, right? You still let me buddy. Come here, Greg. Look at me, Greg. Look at my eyes. Yeah, that's a bond. It's a bond. It's a bond. All right, September st. is got to get out of here, kids. I'll be back next year as I am every year for the podcast. We're full grown adults.

It's September Santa. You're the worst. Okay. And do you know Santa September Santa? Oh, wait. Oh, wait. And who's is coming through the front door? It's Santa Ria Santa. I don't brag. Big, big, big. Sorry, I killed him. Where's JPC? I was here the whole time. Oh, hi, JPC. Yeah, I chose not to interact and engage with some tipper Santa. Yeah, I felt like the wrong move to keep feeding into it. Huh? Where were you back there when I needed to figure out what fruit

or vegetable was seasonal to remember? Aaron, I was thinking I needed you. I was thinking the video, I watched the whole thing. I got an all on camera. Dang it. Yeah, that's me. You could always count on me. Never to help, but always. Always. To capture.

Yeah, sure. You missed the favorite looking Aaron's eye when she thought she was going to come up with some hyper-specific snack only to September, and all she came up with was the first thing on the list was apples, but other than that, there's zucchini and, let's see, cauliflower. What is it? Is it cauliflower, cabbage? Is it sernih holidays in September? Labor day.

Labor day? Labor day? But Labor day is just the one that like ends summer fun, right? Yeah. Labor day just is like, it's not even really, it sucks because it's supposed to be for the laborers, but really all the days it's like, summer's over, it's suckers.

Yeah. It seems like all September foods are foods that are just about going out of season. Anyway, you tweet us your favorite September foods, hashtag September Santa. I'm JPC, I'm Adore Fine. And I'm San Gria Aaron, and Greg, are you still with me? And welcome to Hey Riddler Riddler, this is a podcast about Riddles, where three improvisers

You know based all over the world really you could say and we do Riddles and we do improv little makeup ups Based on those riddles and it's a fun time and it's you know It's 2021 and we love Riddles again. We love them again. Oh, yeah Turns out if we talk about that in our last episode I forgot to mention it, but I did love them the whole time we did them. Oh, good. We also barely did any last episode, so we don't need a word about that. I think we did like 10. But I guess they were back of the episode heavy.

I get it, I get it, I get it. Yeah. Somebody's September is somebody else's apples, Aaron. So 10 riddles to what? Is 10 riddles to another. We are getting into my favorite season, which is fall. That is when Adel comes alive. He comes out of his little shell.

He pokes his head out of his flannel shirt and looks around and says, no, I'm not blazing hot everywhere right hereirt all summer. It's just been too hot. I do like a fall season. I'm into it. Can we make free? Mid-October in Chicago is chef's kiss. Pretty perfect.

The best. Can we, JBC, is there a way for us to get you some sort of tank top that's also a sweater? Like, can we invent a new type of sweater that's like a call the sweat top or something? I can ruin a sweater. I have a sweater that I saw on the road. That's all I have. Just sweater vest. I recently just bought a sweater vest to just wear as a shirt.

Did you say a sweater vest? A sweater. A vest that has been sweater. A sweater vest. Wait, you bought a sweater vest to wear as a shirt. Yes. Is it uncomfortable the material? No, it's like kind of nice and soft.

Interesting. Is SPU a sweater vest university? And just go down the water side. I'm sure there's something new. Oh, there's sharks down here. I'm sorry. That's great. And then I bought another vest.

I bought a couple of vests. Am I okay? No, I don't know. Is this the city move family? Yeah, something happened to me. I don't know. I think that you should wear, like, construction vest, JPC, a shirt.

Have I talked about my mesh thing? Yes, you have. Okay, okay, good. Well, I mean, sometimes you buy an article of clothing and then you look at all your other articles of clothing and you do think, am I okay? No. Is what I'm doing okay because it looks like maybe I'm not okay on paper, I'm not okay. There's definitely a day where I walked into my closet and I looked around and I said,

huh, I have a certain style and people have noticed. I have a question for you, JPC. Oh please. One of my favorite things about your Hey, Red or Red or Red episodes where your old man puzzles. Okay. I guess they're not your episodes,

but they're good. No, but guess your episode. Hey, look what I'm wearing. Oh. You're wearing an old man puzzle's tank. It's our own merch and it's so soft. I got the Heathered kind. Oh my god, they're so soft.

Well, it's a great, great tank. Thank you. Fits like a glove. Well, fits like a tank. Doesn't really feel like a glove. I think that just to be specific, I think the Heather, um, if you buy a Heather top from our store, uh, it is at tphoblet.com. Uh, it is hand woven by Winona writer. Yes. Oh, yeah. From the hovers. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, you did it. We got it. We're there. JPC. Yeah. When your old man puzzles, and you go to the past to get your reddles from most of you sometimes,

what do you notice like is their attitude? Like, do you, can you tell it's the past? Would you be able to tell if it even like wasn't labeled with the date and time? Aaron, I am so glad that you asked this question. So as a peak behind the curtain, we have, you know, riddle submissions all the way from 2018. I try, I try to honor every riddle submission that we haven't actually done, you know, the riddle.

If you've seen a duplicate, I apologize, but it's gone to the, uh, annals of history. But I tried, I tried to, Aaron's trying on an apple. Aaron, you try to eat the whole thing in one bite They're not in season yet. They're not in season yet But I do notice some things that really Clue you in to the fact that the some of these riddle

Submissions are quite old for instance some people say that they really like some siblings pecular Which is a another podcast at all did, but you haven't done it in quite some time, correct? I don't think we've put out a new episode in two and a half, three years. Exactly. So, the people who are saying that they like that podcast, too late, too bad for them, but you will notice we don't really get that compliment much anymore, I don't see. Some other things that we get from those rental submissions from the past are people who say,

hey, I just caught up with the show. I just, like, this weekend, I just listened to all the back episodes, which, when we had, like, you know, 10 episodes, 20 episodes. Oh, yeah. That was a doable thing, but now that we have 100, you rarely get someone being like, hey, man, this weekend, I just watched, I just listened to 100 episodes. I'm completely batshit out of my mind crazy.

I've tried to eat a hammer and when I couldn't eat it, I thought it, like it would be untenable. Sincerely yours. Break. Is there one for you? I'm like, I'm eating it, I bought it. Yeah, Greg, are you still with us? Or did you try to eat and then try to fight a hammer?

I was interested, so I'm glad to know. But yeah, mostly, it's all good things. It's just people who are either submitting rentals that we've already done or submitting rentals that we would get to in the next couple hundred episodes. Perfect. Addle any questions? No.

Great. You could ask, did you see anything? Addle, that was your opportunity. You could have any questions? No. Great. You could ask, did you see anything? Addle, that was your opportunity. You could have said anything. Uh, okay. Okay. I have a question for you.

Okay, make it good. This is your one. You had one per episode. So you recently told us that you did a 23 in me, and you said you were shocked to hear. And I just want to hear you admit it. You were shocked to hear that you are 47 percent what now? Great. Dane. Now to be clear, I'm not a Danish person,

but I will fuck up a coffee kick. So the next thing that we're doing on the show today, you told me you're 47% grape, Dane, cook. Oh, you're in season. Yeah, Dane cook is always in season. Comedy season, maybe comedy season done right. This riddle comes to us and they don't give me permission to use their name, so I'm just going to, I'll just use their initials. TV, touchdown!

Touchdown rights, first off, I love your podcast. Touchdown, that is a great way to certain email to me. That's going to get you immediate recognition three years later. TV says you three have amazing chemistry, which is cool. And they say that this is a rail that they came up with a few years ago, though they can't be the only one to ever think of this. Here it is. Mr. Case, Mr. Time, and Mr. Side, all have the first, same first name. What is it? Was the last one Mr. Side S-I-D-E? S-I-D-E, like someone who's side.

Like, you know how, I don't know how to spell. Mr. Caine, Mr. Case, Case. I'm gonna write it down. Mr. Side and Mr. Time, and they all have the same first name. And there's a hint, would you like to hint? No, not yet. I don't, okay. I think I saw that.

Why don't you solve it without the hint? Without even the hint? Aaron, take your time because I'm gonna see it. I'm Mr. Bright case. No, it's Mr. Briefcase, Mr. Briefside, Mr. Brieftime. Brieftime sounds like like like business time. Brief time sounds like, like, like, like business time. Is business. Is business time. Time. Brief. Side.

Okay. Side time. Brief. No, not brief. Case. Case, case, side time. What are you doing to me? Brief case.

Brief time. I'm fucked up. Do you want the hint? You really might want the hint. Okay, give me the hint. I got it. I think I got it. Hint. Give me the hint. It isn't Kevin. Is the hint. I love that hint. Thank you so much, DD. Is this something? Is it something that might involve royalty? Is it something that might... Oh, I know, I know. I don't think so no I don't go in the right direction court case court side court time

Other that would work. Uh Aaron. What'd you say? Nothing. I said nothing. No one father father case Nothing I said This is a scene from the sitcom father case. It's it's a sitcom about a girl whose dad is a briefcase single dad raising her He's a part of expect that okay go ahead Okay, you're the daughter JBC you're the daddy briefcase and this is the this is the episode everybody talks about where Wait, I have an idea. I don't I wanted to do the plot of it and then we can see the plot of your episode Maybe we can do a couple different we can see a whole season of this all right ready and then we can see the plot of your episode. Maybe we can do a couple different.

Well, we can see a whole season of this. All right, ready? Dad, you scared me, have to death back there. Why didn't you come down the conveyor belt? Into baggage, Clay, where were you? Honestly, I was ashamed. Why? Because you were there with all your friends on this trip,

I know I'm supposed to be shaperoning and I just didn't want them to think you had a lame dad who was a briefcase. I do have a lame dad. Hey, come on, I'm cool. Look at some of the papers I've got inside of me. So, Dad, you're making a mess all over the airport. Please, this is much more embarrassing. You're lame because you didn't want to fly with us. You said, I belong with the other bags.

And I said, we'll buy you a seat. And you said you belong with the other bags. It's only $40 this way. If I get a seat on the plane, I mean, your dad's the one who's paying for it. Whatever, everyone's ahead at the hotel. I hope I don't leave you in a taxi cab on the way there. Well, I hope that I don't leave you in a taxi cab on the way there. Well, I hope that you don't leave me in a taxi cab on the way there either because I'm your father-young miss and I'm shaperoning this trip.

Door slam. Ow! Oh, my leather! See, surely in the opening credits there's a moment where somebody picks up the briefcase and goes, Hey, wait, you forgot your father? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah, I would like to see a seed and it's just more sound bites from that shell, please. In different moments, anyone can do it. Okay. Hey, Stephanie, what's the combination to your dad?

Ha ha ha, unbelievable. Ha ha ha, sleep over. Oh, look, sorry, boss. I'd love to follow the report, but I left my me and my other me See that's That would have been fun, but unfortunately you did the funniest thing. Yeah, there's nothing else that we can do there Breathe time no side time no side case case case case case

His first name is case now if his last name was brief that a first name case. Nope. That would not work Hey, it's not brief. It's not court case. What other what kind of cases are there? Display display time display case display side You know I when I first looked at this red all I thought, oh my God, you guys are going to get this, you guys are going to get this so easily. But what I wasn't thinking of is that what the word that you're looking for is a name. It's a first name. And this is actually a little tricky I would say. I think I have it.

Oh, do you really? Is it on the? It's not on the, now I did say it was a name so okay how many people whose name on your side um hmm this is hard dude so this is an actual this is a name that somebody would be named yes absolutely and it would nobody would bat and I at this first name and no addle or somebody be like did. No, Adel or somebody would be like, did you mean to say Adele?

And I'm like, no, I know my name. They would not bad night at this name in most cases. Now, Adel, you did just say the word actual. And for whatever reason, I had this stuck in my brain that was one of those, it was like an involuntary tick that I would have to say in high school. When someone would say, actually, I would always say, I'm a pretty mech-roly and no no one liked it. No no no no no no no no I'm talking about

back then of course now I've got my delivery. Okay I'm having a hard time. The hint is not Kevin just because it's another name. It's I would say it's most commonly a male name. I don't necessarily know that this is like a name that's like super popular much anymore, but it was, I knew a couple when I was growing up. Clark. I think one of my friends older brothers had this first name. Is there a hint that we can get a two syllable name

It's a two syllable name pongo Boo boo boo boo. It's not pongo and it's not boo boo boo boo bob Cash but when I was a kid I did have it one of my friends this older brother's name was pongo Boo boo boo bob. I feel like I'm missing something obvious here. Yeah, I can't, yeah. Does it begin with like a kiss? No, it does not.

So, like a whoo. The second syllable, the second syllable of this name is a preposition. So like case side time. I believe I believe the Adelent said like, would you say something on or something? On you on the. Yeah, so on the, so like it's not the preposition on, but it's it's the second syllable is a preposition.

So you were you were getting close in that regard. Off off from. No, it's not off. Okay. What is wrong with me? What's okay? Okay, you know what, here's what I can do. I can give you, all right, keep trying to sus it out.

I'm gonna come up with a new series of clues that I can help you with. Okay, so Aaron, two syllable names. Now you've surely known some people in your life with names. I met six people. Okay, that now is it done. Where are the six names of the people you've met?

Mom, dad, Adel, GPC, Casey, in September, Santa. Casey, Casey time, Casey side. I do see, I definitely don't want you to give this to me because I feel like I'm close. I have, I have some, I have some clues. I have some clues that I can help you guys with. So let's, let's see if I, if this is, if this is gonna be a clue.

I forgot, Casey cases, just Casey Toning's rap. Well, my name's Casey Casey and I'm here to say, I'm on a bad, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know what I know, I'm sorry, I'm gonna go ahead. Aaron, no, please. No, no, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm gonna go ahead. Aaron, no please. No, no, I finished what you were doing, Adam. No. That's the shittiest thing I've ever seen someone do.

Just say, to say that to a person who's just like drowning in water, to be like, oh, do you want to finish what you're doing? No, no, throw me the fucking life thing. Hi, I'm Casey and I'm here to say, I'm here to edit another day We can also wrap up. It's like I was doing it's like I was doing five minutes of stand-up and at the four minute and fifty second mark Like Chris Katan burst on stage and

Covered in whipped cream and went bananas and then looked and was like oh, sorry finish whatever you were Okay, that does sound funny though. Do you think you can hit a big laugh if you did? Surely it does sound funny though. Yeah, he could probably pull a big laugh with it. Sorry. I was writing a billion things down and I finally landed on it and I got very excited. Aaron, I'm still excited that you got it. I'm excited for you. I really appreciate that. Is it Justin? Aaron, it is Justin. Oh, nice one. Now, the clue is that we have Justin case, Justin's side, nice one. Now, we have Justin Case, Justin Side, Justin Time.

Now, the clues that I was pulling up was I Googled famous Justin's, and I was going to give you a series of clues without trying to reveal which Justin I was talking about. So, the first clue that I had, you know, ready to go was, hey, is anyone gonna finish these leftovers? Justin Thoreau. Thank you.

I know. Honestly, hands down the most attractive and talented Justin. Oh, what about that? And I stand by that. I stand by that. But Adela, you love Justin Bieber. We got we got we got Bebes.

I'm a believer. We got Justin Long. Adela, I know you like Justin Long. I'm such a Mack guy. It's insane. Also, I'm a true doer for sure. Oh, yeah. Thank you so much, TD for that riddle. TD says, I hope you find this clever and or interesting. Keep up the amazing show. Hey, we did and we won't. But we will do a couple hundred more episodes of a mediocre show. So I hope you're on board with that.

Okay, this next riddle comes to us from Ann. Just Ann. Just Ann. Wait, just Ann. Is this just Ann? Just in case. Just in case.

Okay, just in case. Thank you, thank you. Ann writes, hi. I accidentally had an idea. Hi. Ann says hi, and hold on, Erin. Let's wait. Okay, cold shoulder from Ann.

I didn't care. I accidentally had an idea. So an attempt at an original rid shoulder for man. Didn't care. Absolutely had an idea. So an attempt at an original rental for you. And this is, okay, here's the rental. A terrified family is huddled and hiding after hearing the sound of a break-in downstairs. When the police arrive, they catch the burglar's red handed. Rain sacking the house, they call for backup,

but no arrest is made. Why? Because it wasn't just a break in, it was a break in too. Electric blue. So some of it breaks into the house. Very close guess, Adel. You said. It's really unfair that Adel knows all the answers to these. I just sit here looking a fool. He knows all the answers right away. He even records all the movies. Took quote, uh, uh, Gilly, is that her name? Sorry. Uh, yes. Oh, the SNL references today, Adel. Wow. What right in your head did you hit exactly the way into your recording studio? I think I was scrolling through Twitter and I saw Luke Noel had a picture with him

sitting on a couch with Chris Ketan and I think that stuck on through Twitter and I saw Luke Noel had a picture with him sitting on a couch with Chris Katan And I think that stuck in my head Yeah, his story not mine, but he was opening for Chris Katan doing a stand-up show and Chris Katan was like Hey, can you also pick me up? And so he was like, uh, I'm I have to get in a car ride with like Chris Katan It's like an hour we have to drive. He was like, I hope he's a cool guy like I don't know I'm like, I hope he's a cool guy and I was like don't know him. I'm like, I hope he's a cool guy. And I was like, the biggest boss move would be Chris, you show up at Chris Contents house. He gets into the back of the car, like puts it in his head.

I once was tasked with picking up and taking for dinner, John Darnell, who's the mountain goats. And we picked him up and it was taking him to a hotel which was like downtown Chicago. So I'm walking with him downtown Chicago like a Michigan Avenue area. And he has his he has a suitcase and he has his guitar case. And as he's walking this guy walks by who was probably like in his 60s or something and he just saw the guitar case and he goes, oh, hey man, you a musician. And he goes, yeah. And he goes, what type of music do you play?

And Jarn D'Anel looks straight like dead in the eyes. And he goes, fucking rock and roll, man. And the guy just like smiled and nodded. And then I was like, I was like, that's the coolest thing I've ever seen. Because it's so charming. With like unbridled confidence, he's just like, fucking rock and roll, man.

That is cool. I didn't know that mountain goats are my sisters favorite And so I listen to a lot of mountain goats this weekend in the car He's a hyper delightful man and in the car we at some point switch phones and we're like Playing games on each other's phones. He's very he's very kind If I if I was walking down the street and I had my podcast Mike on me and someone was like hey, man You podcast and I'd be like yep, and they'd be like what kind, you podcast? And I'd be like, yep. And they'd be like, what kind of podcast you do? And I'd be like, I'd really rather not go into it.

Fucking rock and roll man. I don't think you're gonna like it. You won't remember what I tell you what it is. So let's just skip it. Let's skip it. The next time a stranger or a friendly acquaintance or a parent of one of my friends asks me what my podcast is, I'm gonna hit record on my phone, and then we can play it as an outro in one of the episodes. me what my podcast is. I'm going to hit record of my phone,

and then we can play it as an outro in one of the episodes. So for everyone to hear, it is something to behold. It is the cringiest thing that exists in today's modern society. Aaron, can I tell you a brief story? I was before we get back to answering this riddle, which we've all forgotten. No, I know the answer.

Oh, can I tell you a brief story? That's one of the sound bites we missed from Fathercase Justin brief story No, I was I was at a mutual friends birthday party a couple weeks ago and The I was talking I was talking to a person that I've never met before, but it's our friend Andrew's fiance Lauren Oh the best we were we were talking for like maybe 20 minutes, just talking about stories. And at one point, someone else asked me what I did like for work.

And I was like, oh, I do a podcast. It's called Hey, Rinal Rinal. And Lauren says, I listened to that podcast. And it was such a funny reaction because she knows Aaron. And so she's listened to it because Aaron's on it. But it's like, I've been talking here for 20 minutes. I introduced myself as JPC and never once were you like, oh yeah, from the podcast I listen to. She was like, I'm having to connect the dots with this. What I said, oh yeah, I'm on the podcast. She's like, I listened to that. It's like,

how have we been talking? My favorite story is after, or actually before a world new show, three people came up to me and this it was two guys It was three guys and the first guy goes oh my are you Adel and I go yeah, he goes I love a riddle riddle and now the guy goes yeah big hey riddle fan big magic tavern fan I go oh, thank you so much and then the third person goes Hey, man, I have no idea who you are and I'm like cool, cool, you can just say hi or we can, we can not talk like that. Hey Adela, if you are going to talk about a bone, you have to pick with JPC.

Can you do it off air? Hey JPC. We get that JPC. Boom, the picture. Don't know what it's all about. It's all about JPC. Aaron, you know the answer to this riddle had left to hear.

I know the answer. And I also want to see a scene directly after, even if I'm wrong. Wow, she's calling her shots. It's raccoons that robbed the house. It was raccoons. And I want to see a scene directly after, even if I'm wrong. Wow, she's calling her shots. It's raccoons that robbed the house. It was raccoons. And I want to see a scene. You are two raccoon robbers and you're sort of like going over your plan about how you're

going to rob this human's house. And what you're going to take. Okay, trash. We go in two minutes. I'm going to come down the chimney. You go through the cat door. All right? Garbage, you always get to use the chimney. And I always stuck with the cat door. Why can't I do the chimney, you go through the cat door. Alright? Garbage, you always get to use the chimney, and I'm always stuck with the cat door.

Why can't I do the chimney for once? It's always safer. Don't have to do it with any cats. Okay, trash. Today's the day. You got it on the chimney? I go through the cat door. Hi, chicken split bones.

I get to go through the chimney. He-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D- I'm sorry, I was just saying what I smell. Oh. And I smell chamomile, so someone must be home. Okay, yeah, well, it smells like pretty hot chamomile, but junk, you got to, since you're the littlest one, you got to be look out. Okay, but please, give me the hardest job. I'm trying to prove myself, come on, guys, please, I'm junk. I'm just a job, you want the hardest job? Okay, why don't you be the cop troller?

Raccoons need cop trollers as well. No, but we want to be, I want to be a robber like you guys. It's too cool. I know, you said hardest job. Now you have to be the cop troller for the next three years. Oh, my God. That sucks. No.

This is the only way you'll learn. That's a quarter of your life and you're the cop troller. Oh, God, what does a cop troller even do? That's for unified out. We're gonna rob this house. Hey! Hey! Hey!

Excuse me, I'm the cop troller. The cop troller will not stand for raccoon robbing human houses. What does a cop troller do? What a cop troller does. No, Aaron, that's See, what a comptroller does. No, Aaron, that's what an Umbudsman does. I said comptroller, not Umbudsman. I'm googling it, let's see. No, she's googling apples.

Aaron, you are correct. This one comes with a little story. This is a true story via friends of family from Chicago. Actually, the raccoons came back a second night and the homeowners had to nail the window screens on to prevent further break-ins The police said that they could tell they were real North Shore raccoons because they had to break the food out of a massive Anticabit and then took it into the dining room to eat it cereal and eat it butter

Can I just say on a door the little rascal raccoons from a little movie called the great outdoors if you've never seen it check it out I've never seen it. Is it worth it? Aaron, what did I just... I know you said check it out, but I'm just saying for me. Me specifically. Hey, is it your friend? Don't check it out. I'm lying. I will be... I'll be 100% honest with you guys. One of my, you know, I think that just comes with existing in this society that I hate

is just living in this constant security state where we're just constantly surveilled in monitors at all times, but the one ray of light from that is that since everyone has like nest cams and like doorbell cams and like flashlight cams, just cams galore, there are so many videos on online of like raccoons and bears being caught like doing something cute or adorable like outside someone's house and I fucking love it. A beautiful silver lining the other day I watched a video about five times and it's a son throwing a basketball to his dad and the mom goes I'm telling you he's going to be a professional basketball player and the dad throws it back to his son's like 11 and it hits him so hard in the face

To catch it and it's like it's one of those like garage cams and I went what a wonderful world We've made it keep those cameras coming and then post a video of your kid getting hit in the face of the basketball on the internet for all to Just just like the Louis Anderson song when I went there for a world. There you go Topical reference after topical reference today speaking of records picking their way through trash I got a bone to pick with the two of you because it's time. No, don't no, Adam, please help my hand run run Hey GPC Yeah, you're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm Prinking at all and I'm setting up a website to bring him

I just need to I'm advised this podcastal and I'm setting up a website to prank him. I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Adal. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to sit online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website engaged with your audience. And so let me think for products to cut into time all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Edel, come here. Come here. Come here. Hey, what's going on?

I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have any thing that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch, you can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production

and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with Addle? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna shoot you.

And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my Prank website to Prank's activity. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace.

Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. Prank. With Squarespace. With Spray. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC.

What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey Aaron. Hey Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adeland JPC. Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an empaths I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path You know, they're never truly is a middle of the woods isn't it funny to think about something like that like how they're never truly is a Middle no, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Adel, can you help? Yeah, actually. So, uh, as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm hmm. Because sometimes Aaron in life were faced with tough

choices and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you ow, ow, ow, sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Mmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just

fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, GPCs putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Dirty bread crumbs. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with better help. Visit BetterHelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelpHELP.com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the LIDAR JPC. I hope you get home.

Bye. Am home. Who are we? What is this? I clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday.

And we're all so excited to talk about him. But I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. Oh. And that is the app Rocket Money. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Huh? Rocket Money is a personal finance app

that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling,

sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly, and easily find your subscriptions for you, and for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel, and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy, Kling, Kling, Kling. It also categorizes your expenses, so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off.

Over three million. Oh, Clint, Clint, Clint. Over three million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rockets coming here. Stop, Clint, Clint, Clint. Stop. No, Clint, Clint, click, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwanted subscriptions

today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rockatmoney.com slash riddle. That's rockatmoney.com slash riddle. Rockatmoney.com slash riddle, and tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website I love you, Rugga money. Hey JPC.

Uh-huh. I have a bone to pick with you. Oh really? Okay, well people are gonna think this is an ad. It's not. It's just you little ad music. Yeah, I'm we're back, but I have a little bone to pick with you. I can't wait. I feel like you're picking intentionally awesome riddles.

So we can continue our streak. And are we pure of heart if we're just picking the best riddles out there? That's the question I have. I mean, actually, I'm not allowed to ask one of the one question for episode. Well, no, more than one question separated by an ad break. If there is an ad break, you technically get it another question. Aaron, I'll be honest with you, I'm just playing the hand that God dealt me. And what God dealt me was an inbox of 1,600 emails of Riddles emissions dating back about three years.

And I'm just doing what I can do with the tools that I've got, okay? Adela, ask your question. What's the email where people can email us, Riddles? HRPodcast.gmail.com. And here's a little bit that I used to do a long, long time ago, back when we were doing these emails. You can also email hrpodcast.gmail.com with any of your pressing HR concerns. If you've got a coworker who puts a tunifish in the microwave or maybe your boss is harassing you. Hold on, wait, if it's that, go somewhere real. Did you think of all the emails that people sent to that account that just went off into the ether?

They probably know. Someone probably has that podcast and someone probably has that email. So they're getting all those emails. Speaking of getting all these emails, this email comes to us from M. I'm just gonna give the first initial of their first name. M. It's very mysterious. It's very, very mysterious.

M says, I found this podcast when I was looking for something about Riddles, because I like Riddles more than a reasonable person should enjoy Riddles. I stuck around because I enjoy improv more than a reasonable person should enjoy improv So here's the UM for being so damn unreasonable Wow

Okay, that was that that was elegant great. Thank you. I So alone I M has created their own a style of riddle which I think is great I love it when someone creates something a fresh and original and Their riddle is titled or their riddle series is titled the wet ass Puzzie So m rights we all know that Wap is a song You know what it stands for well and these in these puzzies, it also stands for

other things. You're going to receive clues that describe an unusual object. Every answer is in the form of a, that's a adjective-ass noun. So just like WOP, that's an adjective-ass noun. With the adjective always starting with a W and noun always starting with a P. What, which makes the acronym WAP? Does everybody understand? Yep, I got it. Okay, so it's just an pronounce WAP. I'm asking for pop culture sake. Is, I've never, I've, I've heard of the song,

but I've never listened to it. Is it WAP or is it WAP? I've heard WAP. Is the other thing that I've heard. But you know what? I don't think there's a wrong way to pronounce it. I can't go that, it is that apples. I'm sorry. Okay, so M writes an example.

Okay. And albino, spiky, tropical fruit, that would be. White ass pineapple. That's a white ass pineapple, correct Aaron? That was the example once, man, Aaron's gonna clean house here. I have to clean your house. So the A is always ass. It's always ass It's always ass. Okay, okay. The warning that they give is the words will always start with the w and a p

But they may start with different sounds like a WR sound or a pH sound But it always starts with a w or p it just might not be the sound that you're familiar with Okay, and then some of these are really stupid. I categorize the puzzies based on how stupid I think they are so you can avoid the ones that will make you hate me if you want. Well, tough luck, we're not gonna avoid any of them.

I think they're all great. So we're gonna use them all. So the first category is the probably easy ones. Here we go. I'm excited. An anardic bird that can't even do one sit up. Weak ass penguin. Aaron, you got it, you nailed it. That is a weak ass penguin. I almost had Pelican and then I went, that's all right. Slow down. I just came back from the doctor.

No. Told me I have a weak ass. Oh no, what can you do about it? I have to poop standing up. No, Adel no. My doctor told me a pelican brief. Oh of course I need to see a scene. I need to see a scene very quickly. I'm sorry, your two penguins at the gym. Go.

No. Okay. See you. No, okay. No point in continuing the scene because anything I started to say or what I've left over. I was just... Alright, here's your next one. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. A rich person who is a bit of a shutter bug.

Well-feet ass. I'm sorry. A tommy ass. It's hot. Hermit. Well-feet ass. Photographer. Photographer.

Oh, shutter. I thought you said shut in. You said shutter bug. I did say shutter bug. Aaron did whisper photographer. That is correct. I was helping out my friend. You both got a bunch of friends in there. Well was helping out my friend. You both got a plan for it. Thank you for that.

Well the asked photographer. This is a feral religious leader. Wildass priest. Oh. Can I just say that's my favorite series where they follow, like, they go to senior frogs in Cancun, they go to a marty groin. Yeah. I guess I'd like to see a scene.

It's a lot of priests throwing rosaries in exchange for your sins. No, I don't want to see a scene. Okay, this is a college instructor with a fever. Why is that pneumonia? A college instructor with a professor. Yes, they have a fever. What fever starts with W? some really ask Professor. Yes, they have a fever. What fever starts with W? Weasie, weasie, ask Professor.

No, no, no, no, so okay, so if you get a fever, what's the first thing that you do? Dream. I'm sorry. Okay, well let's, let's get on back. Let's say you think you're getting a fever. What's the first thing that you do? Are you take your temperature? Oh, I take, I take it. Okay. Okay, yeah. What's the first thing that you do? You take your temperature. Oh, I take. I take a porn. Okay. Yeah.

At the first side, I think that's of a cold. I don't think you're supposed to invite my teacher. Aaron, you're correct. You take your temperature. So this is your college. Yeah. Our master professor. That's okay. I'd like to see a professor. Yeah Professor, that's okay. I'd like to see a Professor um, Adal you are a college professor and will be your students and you've come into class way way way too sick

You definitely have the flu and you're trying to just like play it off Hey class Thank you for waiting over 20 minutes. I know technically you can't leave but If we see each day. Turn your page just 417 we're gonna talk today about the bubonic plug In our dance class Oh, it's a dance class. Yeah, I mean you're the most incredible dance professor at the university But we'll learn about the boot up professor

Ricardo do you think we can both be right we can both be right what do you need a rescheduled today it seems like you might be like under the weather No, no, we're all under the weather Teacher joke As you said anyone joke let's put on your leotards and let's and let's dance about rats You're holding the side of your stomach and it seems like there's like blood coming out. It doesn't seem like there is. So we all know. Oh my god. Were you in an accident?

We've all seen what's the ballet with the rat king? The Nutcracker. The Nutcracker. The Nutcracker is based on the bubonic plague now. Oh. I thought you saw, you met Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles the ballet. We can all be right. Let's do that. Let's do that, the idea.

You're sliding down the mirror. Here, let me just start playing the music and then you can show us the combination and then you can rest the rest of the class. Okay, whenever you're ready. 5, 6, 7, 8, throw up, grab your side. Leak, blood, plus, plus, plus, plus,uss, potaboure, splits into call the cops. And violence is what I meant. Don't call the cops. Mr. Ricardo. Mr. Ricardo, during that dance, a ghost that looks like a copy of you came out of you

and started whispering something to you and then flew away. Oh no, Frank's back. Oh, that's gonna be Frank's back. Everyone be on guard for Frank. Also, what came after the splits? I was trying to send it my phone to record it, and I missed it. Can you do it one more time? Sure, here we go.

Five, six, seven, eight. Throw up, grab your side. He's not moving. Plus, plus, plus, do the splits. Bada buu rei, not after splits. That's impossible. He's just staring at his reflection. Lay on your side.

Call. Mom. Siri, call. Mom. It looks like Mom. Siri, call this. Hello. His mouth is moving, but no words are coming out. Five, six, seven, eight. Hey, mom, it's me.

I'm dying. I love you and Dad. Please send my best to both. I will see you in heaven. He's dead. We get to leave, right? We don't have to stay. I think we could have left it for the 20 minutes.

Hey, but it's me, the Dean. You all get automatic A. Yay! Amazing. Thank you for indulging me in that, that was all I could. Of course. Isn't there a movie that's like Mark Paul Gossler

and it's like a kid, oh, his roommate dies. What's that movie? That's a movie, right? Easy A. Is that what it's called? No, that's a different movie. It's Emma Stone.

But yes, that's based on the Scarlet Letter. Yeah, you're thinking, oh god, you're right. But that's a movie, right? It's the kid from, say, by the bill, Mark Paul Gossler. And his roommate dies and then it's like, you get all A's.

But how can that be a premise? Because after his roommate dies and then it's like you get all-as. But how can that be a premise? Because after his roommate dies, there's no conflict. Like there can't be a movie. I think that he has to keep killing new roommates as the movie progresses. And he does, and basically he has to, I think he has to do like four murders. Oh, it's called four murders.

That's four murders in, and a funeral. That's got another riddle. This one is, it's still in the probably easy, it's the last one of the probably easy category. This is a magic practicing dog known for its curly hair. Wicken ass pooch or wizard ass pooch. Wicken ass and po, I think works, but they were looking for a specific breed of dog.

Oh, I missed, you said long hair dog. Poodle. Curly hair. Pomeranian. Oh, poodle, okay. Poodle, yes, that is a Wizard-y, witchy, Wicken-S poodle. I gotta say a thing.

Oh, please. Aaron, you are a fancy little poodle who's also a wizard. And JPC, you are the boy who just found the stag at the pound and you're realizing all the amazing potential that this partnership has in store. Psst! Kid, hey kid, look over here. Hold on, mom, I want to look at this one real quick.

Did you just whisper at me? Yeah, sorry, um, hey, I'm good all I talk. Ha ha ha. Baba, blah, blah, blah, you're scared, you scream. Ha ha. Yeah. Here's the thing, here's the thing, here's the thing, here's the thing. Here's the thing, come here, come here, come here. I'm here, I'm as close to the bars I can get.

Let me the fuck out of here, okay? Okay, we don't go- You don't have to take me home. We don't curse at my house. I curse, okay. I. Okay, we don't take me home. We don't curse at my house. I curse. Okay. I Was a show dog, okay? Okay. Well, I guess then I guess that means you can't come to my house if you curse because we don't curse at my house God, you can say fudge Get down here down here. You can be blown hold on hold on. I'll be right back

You can talk as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it. I can talk. I'm a magical dog and If you let me out of here, I'll grant you three wishes. You're a little piece of shit. Okay. I'll grant you Hold on we don't we don't curse at my house You can call me a piece of shoot, but we don't curse at my house. Oh, okay. You fucking piece of shoot now You can say I'm a fudge and piece of shoot, but we don't curse at my house. Okay. You dumbass fudge and piece of shoot Okay, you know what? I don't like that. Listen to what your last hope, come here, please.

What's up, please? Okay, hold on, hold on, Mr. I gotta go back up here. Okay, please, come on, come on. I'm a show dog, look, I can dance. Look, I'm dancing. I can be cute, I can little dude, I'm a truck. I'm six, seven, eight. Pop your ray and split, and call the police.

I mean the fire department. Okay, and hold your side and throw up throw up. Please Please I'm a dog. I was the top of my game. I was a page and Queen please let me out of here I'll create some I don't know man I don't know about these dogs one's very sick and the other one stop cursing. I'll bully your high school I'll bully your high school my whole high school Yeah, hold on my whole high school. I'll bully your high school. My whole high school? Yeah, I'll... Hold on. My whole high school? I'll bully your high school. Everybody makes fun of me. Teachers, janitors, other students. I'll bully all of them.

Welcome to the first day of class. Oh, what does this little shit head have in a box? What's going on back there? You little fucking coward? Hey, your wife doesn't love you anymore. What? What? What? Melissa! Thanks, Poodle of the Box.

See. Poodle in a box. It's a Poodle in a box. Poodle in a box. Make sure you put holes in the box. You're welcome. I like that. They're selling the products, Poodle of the Box, but the product that they're selling does

not come with holes. No. You've got to put them in. Yeah, that's the challenge. That's the game of Poodle of the Box. Please buy immediately. Please put holes in them in. Yeah, that's the challenge. That's the game of Poodle and a Buck. Please buy immediately. Please put a whole son of a buck. Please buy.

Please buy immediately. If you had ever done this for any product, if you've been thinking about buying for more than 10 minutes, please walk away from the aisle. Please buy immediately. I made the second there on the shelves. It's like a time, a countdown. It's so dark.

All the expiration dates for Poodle on the box are just like an hour, like, toopy up today. Okay, these are a little bit harder, but still probably doable. This is a crumpled old-timey document. Oh, wrinkled ass parchment. Yeah. You've got it wrinkled ass parchment.

You've hit the nail on the head, right there, boy. To be fair, that's what, that's what I used to call my grandpa. So, oh, brood. I like to see a scene. Okay. You are two current US politicians, and somebody found a, like,

what, like, wadded up old American document, and you guys are like reading it out loud and deciding what to do with it. Thank you, Nicholas Cage. We'll see what needs to be done. You can trust us. We're sitting politicians. Can you believe this fell in our lap like this? Is this unbelievable?

Let's, let's, let's, this could change everything. Okay, trash calm down. Let's unfurl this. Okay. Okay, Senator Garbage. Uh I mean mention uh we can we can we can do this. We can do this. Okay we may come from bud two sides of the aisle but we all serve the same Lord money. So let's let's we can make this work at our interest. This is a bipartisan issue, so let's see here. Okay. Oh, it's the original, it's the original bill of rights, and it's different.

Well, it's the original bill of rights, which is the amendment to the original, okay? Hey, no, wait, wait, wait, is the original, is the original declaration, sorry, there's some stuff in it. I mean, whoa, it looks like it's the declaration of independence, but this is the declaration of incontinence. No. Why not? Why not do that? What's wrong with that? That's easier.

It's me Junior Senator John. Oh John. How can I help you guys? Can I do anything to help give me a hard job to do? Okay, here's a hard job. These old eyes can't really make out what this says. Damn it. Can you read us on this wrinkle-dass parchment? Yes. The reader of us can agree, because we're all seeing kind of different things, so you can be impartial and look at it.

Okay, I got it. Everybody be chill. Just scum the fuck down. These documents are meant to change over time, obviously. How could we have possibly predicted the technology that would come along in the changes from a modern society? Everybody calm down, everybody relax, serves up. This is a hard disagree. I mean, we don't change the Bible as things move along, right? We take every word literally, and that's how it should be.

Just say the word and eat this for lunch. I'll eat this. Is it? It sounds like you're doing something untoward with this document. Let me see this, the real document. Let's see what does it say here. Only white men deserve boats. Okay.

Let's go to that one. I mean, I guess we could upulate the Bible and put like computers in it and stuff. That might be fun, right? Just try to upstate the Bible. See? Computers in it. Everything's the same, but there's just computers.

But nobody knows how to work them. Yeah, but the moral of every story doesn't change and no one knows how to work them. But they're like the moral of every story. He doesn't change and no one knows how to work. It's just happening like, ah! Have with the every story they notice the computer, they're like, oh, and then they just kind of move on. And Mark said into John, control all the leads, and it was me. Okay, this is a subterranean tuber that truly understands the inequalities of our modern

capitalist society. Subterranean tubers. So this is a potato tubers. Correct, correct. Potato. So something as potato. What was the last part? It says that truly understands the inequalities

of our modern capitalist side. It's like woke. It's woke. Yeah. I was just gonna say this is a subterranean tuber that has a white savior, a couple likes. Okay, I'm a cucumber, addles and apple, and JPC is a woke-ass potato.

Go. Go. I wanna see a scene. Who here, did anybody, either of you either have a, I'm losing my mind? Anybody have a Mr. Potato Head?

I fucked around with one, but I don't think I ever owned one. Okay. I'm so happy you said the word around. What's the fastest you did? So I want JPC, you're a young child for Christmas. Okay. You received a Mr. Potato Head or Mrs. Potato Head, but this is the new 2021 version, and

it's super woke. Aaron, you'll be playing the woke as potato. Oh, fun. Whoa. A Mrs. Potato Head. Thanks, September Santa. You're welcome. Oh, oh, oh, you.

Hi. Whoa, oh, it's one of those cool new voice modulated ones. Hello. I'm Mrs. Potato Head. Ha ha! Here enjoying me. I'm made by conservative people. And I am how conservative people view teenage girls.

Oh, uh, okay, well, uh, I'm just gonna go ahead and play with you if that's okay. That offends me. Oh, I'm sorry, do I have to get your consent to play? Consent is so important and I go over the top about consent as if there's any such thing. Uh, uh, uh, okay, well, I would like, I would like to take your arms off. No, maybe I'd be able to do this. My hair is blue. Okay. Only white men should have boats.

Apples are in season. Uh, uh, I think I've done playing with you, thanks. No, you can't be done playing with me because I want to talk about how fast fashion is bad. Oh, okay, that's not a subject that I really know a lot about, but what, I guess what's the big picture? I know, nothing about anything, I baby, but I talk on everything. I'm not actually intelligent in intimidating to older men. Oh no. Okay, okay, get at the window.

Yep, yep, yep, yep. I guess we look pretty good now, huh? Yep, yep, yep, yep. I guess we look pretty good now, huh? Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Fuck you, fucking boy. You fucked him with it. Oh, same. Okay, yeah, that's September Santa's a dog. I've only heard someone use the word woke

and it's always an older conservative dude being like, these woke kids keep talking about how they think human should have rights. Like it's never in the right context. It is, yeah, it is funny that people use it on like Twitter and stuff as like an insult of like, oh, so woke. And it's like, well, it's nice to be aware of like the times and what's, uh,

Well, I'm like, woke kind of got turned into a meme, uh, pretty quickly. And then also like, I feel like woke was in the age of the Karen, um, and and they both rose to power and a little representation. So it just kind of like... To the east. The Woke Rose, into the west, the Karen's power started to grow. Aaron, that was kind of the most incredible impression of the Lord of the Rings. I've always loved her, I've ever heard. Well, you should do that for a living. Hey, thank you.

Ten rings, they called the cops everyone on everyone. And ringed ten times. And... But the cops did nothing. On a tenth day, on a tenth day, at the peak of the sun, skit me because I won't be at the battle. I don't fight man skip me with that Okay Someone next in line to the throne who just can't find their balance will your William asks

William at oh next to the throne. I got you. I got you. Isn't he next, is it he the next, or I guess Prince Charles is next. Wobbly-ass prince. Oh, that's my favorite. Err, you got it. It's a Wobbly-ass prince. Okay, here we go. If you don't want to see a scene, God bless. We have to get through these.

Royals Wobble, but they don't fall down. That's true. Father, the father, please. The T, the T. This is a big black and white mammal who is always telling jokes. Oh, Panda. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Why is cracking ass panda? That, I'll accept that. The answer that they had written was a witty ass panda. Oh, that works. But the, why isen I think is great. That's very much someone always telling jokes. Okay. Bamboo, it bamboo, it have a panda.

A wisecracken panda is just always doing like bamboo, dick jokes. Like, oh look at me. What's the bugle of this? It's my dick. It's you paking like this asshole. Panda danger field. It's my dick. It's you can lick this asshole. Painted it. Painted Dangerfield. And prehistoric flying lizard with a skin condition. So this would be, I like this.

Teradactyl. Teradactyl. Teradactyl. Teradactyl skin condition. Skin condition. Does psoriasis start with a W? Oh, the question doctors have asked for years. No. Skin condition with a W would be t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t- I was going to say I froze it off. You buy a little free stick. I'm a kid.

I got a wart. Let it go. Mm-hmm. Frozen it up. Okay, so this next category is I couldn't decide to keep this in or leave it out. So I'm just going to say it's stupid and then nobody will get it. But maybe you two well, someone who can prescribe you antidepressants, but it's kind of sarcastic about it.

It's like hiatris. It's like hiatris. It's like hiatris. Aaron, you got it, but it's, but you're the psychiatrist, not pharmacist, because they prescribe you the antidepressants. But what's the W? It's not like sarcastic. It's Rye. Rye.

Oh, right. Wow. That works really well. I'm going to give it to you. I asked Rye. Rye does work. The one that they had was Y's ass. Y's ass, I can't. But Rye, I think works really well here.

Okay. Okay. We got a few more. I want to do short scene. Short scene. Yes. JBC or Y's ass psychiatrist, Aaron, you are in your first and last session with this mate.

So I as a saying. Okay. Why don't you wait?. So, yeah, as I was saying. Yeah. Okay. What did you aim? Tell me your problems, but I'm on my way. Let's just talk to you for an hour. Mm-hmm. I just talked to you for an hour.

Oh! We talked about my anxiety. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, I thought I thought I was on my next one. Yes, let's do you real quick. I just put my hair up in a ponytail, you thought. And it looks It looks that I might all right. Yes, let's do you real quick. We'll get to the next appointment What about a bit of being first get hey?

That's my purse all right no no we can fix you we can fix you we can no I'm yeah, thank you First things first the teeth are all wrong Click First things first the teeth are all wrong click Ships over Ottoman Floor assess to heaven meets God. Welcome to heaven I'm gonna go back to go And I click back. Hey you back Okay, so this one the category is long, but the category says,

the clue is just a normal thing. You still need to figure out how to make it the WAP, and gotta be honest, I don't think anyone is gonna guess these, but they're fun and dumb, and they might make for good podcasting. Wait, I'm confused. The clue is still the same,

but we have to do something extra. The clue is just a normal thing. So I'm gonna give you, instead of it being like a weird setup, I'm just gonna give you a normal thing and then you have to turn it into the WAP. Got it. Cool.

So your selection is a cowboy. Western-ass pony writer. Western-ass, you got it, but not. Western-ass. Cowboy would be... You're only gonna get this if you talk like a cow. Pirate. Partner, partner.

Partner. Partner, partner. P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P- This one is the storm of Galilee. I'm sorry, the storm on the Sea of Galilee by Rembrandt. Oh, something asked painting. It's not there anymore. It's stolen. A robbed espantigate. No, no, no, it's not the word robbed. It's not about it being stolen.

It's about what? It's a storm. Yeah, because it's a storm. I not about it being stolen. Oh, um, it's about Yeah, cuz it's a storm I get that but no This is more of the style in which it's painted oh Western Yes, if this is a western painting I'll give it to you guys because I don't know if this one is a wavy ass painting cuz there's you know waves and the painting Oh, there's a huge wave. I got it. Okay, so this one. this one is a wavy-ass painting because there's waves in the painting. Oh, there's a huge wave, I got it. Okay, so this one is a mammoth.

Mammoth would be a woolly-ass packaderm. Yeah, we said packaderm in last episode too. Yeah, packadermatology. Okay, the world will end on December 21st, 2012. Weakass prediction. Ah, 2012. Weekass prediction. Ah, nice. Rockass prediction. Rockass prophecy.

But I do also like weekass prediction. That's very fun. Okay. And then there's two more that I'm included and then these were great. Thank you so much for sending them. Thank you, I'm two more. This one is just Hey, Rino Rittle.

Weird ass podcast. You're a podcast. Yeah, does Zooleros has it again. They didn't say weird, another guest has it again. Wet. Yes, it's wet. It's a wet ass podcast. No, they said it's a wacky ass podcast. That suits us.

Do you like your wacky suit? I like my wacky suit. I'm having fun, are you? Is everyone good? Yeah, I'm not going to be waving it. The last one that they included was Adel, Aaron, and JPC. Weird ass.

This one's a little, this one's nice. It's very complimentary. Wonderful ass people. It's wonderful ass people, Adel, you got it. I'm not an ass person. Yeah, right. Wonderful ass period, people. Wonderful ass people.

I'll thank you. Well, don't mind if I do. Well, don't mind if I do. And this a wonderful ass period, people. Wonderful ass, people. Oh, thank you. Well, no mind if I do. No, no mind if I do. And this could be due to you too. And this could be due. I want to see one final, very quick scene. Please. This is going off of, I think it was,

was it weak ass prophecies? No. Maybe it wasn't weak, but it was something wrong ass prophecy. Wrong ass prophecy. So, JPC, you have climbed to the top of the tallest mountain, you have met Aaron who can foresee the future. But, Aaron, all the prophecies that you say are just really often wrong and probably definitely not coming true and JPC are a little skeptical.

Cool. I've taken everything. I've left my job, I've left my family, I've given everything to this pilgrimage, and I'm finally here, oh ancient one, please, pesto upon me your wisdom. Sorry, you're catching me right in the middle of lunch. So sorry. Also, ancient one, she is 27, so let's pump the brakes on that. Oh, I'm so sorry, man. Sorry, this is my hype man What up do you want in 21? I met him just respect. I met him who don't disrespect MC insane clocks I only I only want the wisdom that you is that a quiz no sub that you're eating. Yeah, it's just fine Do you want some let me okay? No, sorry? I came up the mountain and you're tired or something?

I'm gonna really focus. I got Yeah, it's been a long journey. Is there a We have quiz notes and we have Jersey mics do not go to Jersey mics Yeah, because we work there and no one's there right now Hold on hold on hold like was this mountain? Is this work? Where am I right? Okay, Newark Airport And Al Gore will be president. Yeah, that's our algorithm Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-uh

Can't believe I quit by you're going to go to Jersey Mike's and no one will be I'm not going there I don't like it there. I don't like their subs We're going to go to quizdo's I wouldn't I wouldn't add to the quizdo's left. I'm going to shove you down this mountain So I can continue to enjoy my new work. It's essentially a big pilot trash. I talk you I turn you into a trash raccoon Thank you. I turn you into a trash raccoon. Ha ha ha ha. Aaron, um, is there any garbage can full of plugs that you want to recommend to scuttle for?

I do. Um, recently I was on the finale episodes of Hello from the Magic Tavern and it was so fun to be on and those are definitely out by now. So just, uh, check those out. They, the people who I recorded with were being so, so, so funny when I was there and I had the best time. So check those out. I'm giving you the big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big and it says we really love you, you're the best. Okay, well, bomber feel like a piece of shit. Something you're gonna plug, I can plug.

Go and listen to my other podcast, the Bill Buds podcast. We review pop music, it's a fun time, Aaron and Adela have both been on it before. You can listen to their episodes. And you can find me over on Twitch, Twitch.tv slash shark barkman, add all anything to plug.

Yes, please check out our Patreon. We do some of our weirdest-ass podcasting on the Patreon, something ass Patreon. And we wish you would listen to it. So if you haven't already checked it out, please subscribe. You can go to patreon.com slash heyrittlerittle. If you are a patron, Thank you so much for patronage If you can tell other folks if you enjoy it and we hope to we have some stretch goals right now And we'd love to hit those and and do some fun some fun series. We have

Aaron Did you know that Wage w a j stands for something specific. It's a Christian channel with, and in Dismindel, so go to a specific planet in our solar system. Jupiter, the water. And it's something somebody would yell at you in Boston.

Wicked something Jupiter. Yeah, what have we been saying with a... Ask? Yeah, put it all together. But you said, oh. Did I? Yes. What? Didn't you say, oh?

Did I? Duh, oh shit. Okay. W-A-J is wicked- Jupiter. Good bye. Bye forever Waka Waka kids I know it's for it. I know And John Patrick Casey Tony to the editing

Already Hey there, Princesses and Peas! If you like that, you're gonna love this week's Patreon, As we improvise our way through Hans, Christian, Anderson's stories. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash heywardoverdil by joining the clue crew for five dollars a month or the review crew for eight dollars a month. See ya then! That was a Hitgun podcast.