Hey Riddle Riddle - #164: Splat! Nope! Scene!

Episode Date: September 8, 2021

This episode has a buffet of madness for you! Including....Shoes for assholes! A run of David Tennant bits! A doctor, a mummy and a boy-scout! So hang on the rim and get ready to split your pants horizontally from laughter, it's time for Hey Riddle Riddle! #WiddleWednesday Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. You who I would like a my tie wait you who are a. Um, but the you who is for me, the my ties for the lady. Uh, yeah. So, uh, could we have a you who my tie and what do you want anything to eat anything to eat? JPC anything you want? Oh, um, do you have turkey burgers? Do you have to turkey burgers? JPC wants a turkey burger? No, no, I want to know if they have them. Well, we do have, we do have a menu, which I brought to you a few minutes ago. No, we want to ask you of everything. We are going to ask you. I don't want to read a menu. We're

going to keep asking. Okay. We're not just reading people. It just sucks because you motioned me over here and it seems like you are not ready to order. You who? Yeah, could I have a domino? Do you have domino's pizza here? There's a domino's three doors down. That's not the same thing. This is a story of a girl? There's a Domino's three doors down. That's not the same thing. This is a story of a girl. I don't think that's three doors down. Couldn't be. Do you have, what do I want to know?

I'm sorry to intrude her ass. Popcorn shrimp. Ma'am, I'm sorry to ask this. It seems like your husband is much more, I don't know how to say this, much more wealthy, much more influential, just as sound of his voice. He seems very Tony.

My voice isn't fancy enough? Well, let's try a little harder. Sir, can you talk again? Well, I can also tone my down. Okay, let's try. Well, it's me. I hit it. I hit it.

I hit it. So I guess we'll take two Domino's pizzas, a turkey burger, a yuhu and a maytai. Thank you. Okay. Can you believe, can you believe table four? They asked me for a yuhu, a maytai, two Domino's pizza. Jake, what are we gonna do? Well, wait, I was just at table eight.

They asked me for a yuhu, a maytai, and two Domino's pizza. A maytai? What's a maytai? Hi, maytai. Hi, maytai. I'm high at work. And I'm at a refi tie and I'm Absolutely flabbergasted that JPC is standing while recording this episode. I'm JPC O'Burre for eight years maybe JPC

Maybe J P C D E F G. And I'm Aaron on the side of drunk. Hello. And we are Hey Riddle Riddle, a riddle podcast. It's about three people who try and solve riddles or something. And along the way we scream. And along the way we find out that the real riddle was the friends we made along the way. Now Aaron, you are correct. I am standing today because I sometimes,

it's only happened I think maybe once in the past year. And it was a very minor tweak. I tweaked my back when I was working out. And I could feel it. I could feel it. Something's happening. And I immediately stopped the thing that I was doing. I was like, OK, and I rest it for two days,

and then I was fine. Was it a muscle thing or a bone thing? Did you see that? Jesus Christ. What's the bone thing? You know, like sometimes you feel it and you go, this was a spine thing and not the muscles around my spine thing.

I'm so glad I don't know what that means. I can't relate to that feeling. I think it was a muscle thing. I don't think I've ever felt a bone thing happen in my body and if I did, I would be very concerned. I've never had a little rib out of place What I don't I scared him calm him down please. Hey, buddy

It's all gonna be okay. It's all gonna be okay. Just remember their skeletons living inside of us at all Everyone's gonna skeleton and why they they win? I've never had that happen, but one time I was walking down the stairs at the house that I grew up in, or the house that I went to like grade school. I was walking down the stairs, and I felt a pain to my leg, as I was walking down the stairs, and then I fell down the stairs.

And then I had a little bone sticking, like popping out of my ear. Yeah. Yeah, so it hurts very much. And so, we went to the doctor and the doctor said, oh, this is just, I know what this is. This is a thing that people are born with. You were like born with this.

And I was like, oh, I don't think so. I think it hurt me. And then it stopped hurting eventually. And I was like, I think this is like just like something that I should be like dealt with. And he was like, no, it's not bone. It's like cartilage. It's hard. But it's just like it's something people are born with. And I was like, no, it's not bone, it's like cartilage. It's hard, but it's just like it's something

people are born with. And I was like, can I just say, I think it happened to me. I mean, I'm a kid, but like, I don't think I was born with this. And I still got it. I still got that some of like piece of cartilage sticking out of my knee. I think this speaks volumes to the Indiana health care system that you go to a doctor and whatever's wrong with you,

they go, yeah, I've seen this before, you're born with it. And they're like, I was shot in the shoulder. You know, you're born with this. Actually, doctors, doctors, not listening to patients is not unique to Indiana. It's actually a systemic problem. I love the confidence of, oh, yeah, I know what this is. Yeah.

Yeah, no, okay, yeah, I know what this is. This is definitely something I've seen the whole way. I was bit by a black widow spider, no, no, no, no, no, I know what this is. This is definitely something I've seen the other way. I was bit by a black widow spider, no, no, no, no, you were born with this. No, you saw a black widow in the theaters. That's what you did. But anyway, I felt earlier today, I felt a little like kind of tweak in my back

and I said, you know what, I think I need a stand. And so I have, I've always had the capability. This is a standing desk. So I've always had the capability to stand in today. I choose to exercise my God-given right. Hell yeah. One time, in my old house, which is actually a house not a mansion like JPCs.

It was a very big house. One day, Sadea was chasing me up the stairs, and I was screaming, and as she was chasing me up the stairs, she grabbed one of my feet. Which one? My right foot. And she wouldn't go and she was talking on it. And I was screaming and trying it.

And I was like squealing and flailing like a bleeding seal. And I said, let go. And I kicked her with my other foot. And I kicked her right in the chin. And her lower tooth got embedded in her upper lip. Ooh, and she was trying to talk, but she couldn't open her mouth and then eventually she had to like

Yank down on her chin or like Flex her jaw down very hard and yeah, we don't seem cartoon. Yeah And her teeth came out and just started pouring blood like a faucet so we had to wrap up her face in a towel and take her to the ER That's not my favorite story Well, it's a story Aaron. Aaron, what's an injury you've received your dold out? Oh, it's gross. Let's open the fucking tome of Aaron's injuries. We've heard about some of the worst injuries I've ever heard a person have in coming to Aaron. You don't know me. Aaron, every time I see you, I just want to give you like a

10 minute hug and just go, it's okay. I get that a lot. Yeah, there's something inherently clumsy, unlucky, prone to accident about me. I've also seen some pretty crazy injuries. So that's sort of my deal. I once was standing with Aaron waiting for a bus and she was standing normally and out of nowhere her jeans just split in half. Yeah. Horizontally. They turned into shorts.

It was so free-cats. And if I saw that, if I saw that, I would turn to the person I was with, and I was like, are super heroes, I think? Are those real superheroes based on something? Because I just watched that person turn pants into shorts and then lie off into this guy. I love it's like, oh Clark, you're back at the office today.

Do you have a story for the Daily Bugle? And then there's like, please siren's, he's like, sorry, I have to go to the bathroom and his pants just horizontally split. And they're like, where'd Clark go? Yeah, where'd Clark go? Like super shorts, what are you doing here? I just imagine like a Hulk Hogan's shirt level of material, you know that he would just rip off before a fight,

but you're just flexing your like thighs, your pants just burst off into shorts. That would be cool. Yeah. I hope to one day make that happen for myself times to start working out. Oh, man. It's good to have goals.

I wonder, and this is just me wondering out loud. And Adel, we can talk about this. How do you think JPC's standing will change his comedy? I think his characters are going to be a lot more physical. I think they're going to be a lot more, they're going to talk faster. They're going to be a lot more physical. I think they're going to be a lot more, they're gonna talk faster. They're gonna be a lot more New York style, New York city.

There you go. Get the jokes. And I think that there'll be more of a looming presence in the scenes. I mean listeners, if you've ever been to an improv show before, there's a huge difference between a scene where people are sitting in seats and when people are standing. And so you might get to hear that difference today. It's a very rare occasion that someone on Haverdolverdol is standing.

I think it's going to be mostly the same. I do think it's going to be that my legs are going to get a little tired. Oh. That's what I think. It's going to be the same, but I'll get more tired. I think. I do love that right now, JPC is standing exactly like a professional athlete during the National Anthem.

Like he has both his hands, class behind his back. This is parade rest. He's standing like shoulder with a part with his feet and he's kind of swaying back and forth. It's uncanny. Well, the other thing. Right, for orders. The other thing that I have as well,

because I'm no neophyte when it comes to a standing desk, because I have a standing desk pad, which is just like a cushioned, like, you know, inch and a half cushioned pad that you stand on. And that's supposed to, you know, be better for your joints, so you're not just standing on the hard floor.

And not only that, but I'm also standing on these house crops that Mariah got me. So I got about another extra half inch of cushioning because I got myself some house crops. House crops. Now, Neal fight, is that similar to a Digimon? I'm sorry, if you haven't seen the Matrix,

I don't want to spoil it for you. So I don't really want to explain what a Neal fight is. There's a lot of Neal fights in there. Uh-huh. I have a pair of Crocs too. And, uh, Gemma ridiculed me. Can you housecrack me, Focker? I have a pair of Crocs as well.

And when I got them, Gemma ridiculed me mercilessly. And then, like, three months later, she was like, I would like a pair. And so I got her a pair as well. So, for me, Mariah got a pair of Crocs that showed up in the mail and she started wearing them around and she was like, I got House Crocs and I said, do they make those for like people like me as well? And she was like, I assume so and I was like, for assholes.

What a love, what a love that heads up that would do with House Crocs. Like, I love the House, I love a House, a sandal. Why didn't you mention that at the family meeting? That's a huge change. Just to have them show up. And so then she, uh, she bought me some as well. Um, but when hers are purple and I wanted the purple ones, but they were like, look, we don't make purple in, um, like,

dude size feet, like you, you have to get the teal ones. I was like, fuck that. That was my color. Those teal ones are the best. Uh, do you have like to see,? Do you have anything else to say? Do you have anything else to say? Do you have anything else to say? Do you have anything else to say?

Do you have anything else to say? Do you have anything else to say? Do you have anything else to say? Do you have anything else to say? Do you have anything else to say? Do you have anything else to say? Do you have anything else to say? Do you have anything else to say?

Do you have anything else to say? Do you have anything else to say? Do you have anything else to say? Do you have anything else to say? Do you have anything else to say? Do you have anything else to say? Do you have anything else to say? Do you have anything else to say?

Do you have anything else to say? Do you have anything else to say? Do you have anything else to say? Do you have anything else to say? Do you have anything else to say? Dayle, shit, weasel. That used amazing. There's no place I want to work less That's all retail though. They might as well just say these this is clothes for ass Welcome to Dunkin' Donuts for Assholes Food for assholes. Please yell at me I would get fired so fast. I would love to work at Best Buy for a day. Just be like, hey, welcome to Best Buy for Assholes. Welcome to all of Garden. We have breadsticks for assholes. Are you put up our frequent asshole membership club? Oh God That that that that makes me want to just like own a Best Buy franchise

Just so I can do that bit and then someone's like I want to speak to the manager I'm like I own the place fuck you Blue polo I am the boss I knew you're gonna ask me that fuck you in my place It's fucking worth it. This cost me for a million dollars This place is going out of business But I have one rule for everybody who works here and that we can treat you like the shit that you are. You come in with an attitude, you get one back, motherfucker.

I think the three of us should invest some money and buy a building and make it a worst buy. And what we do is we wear beige polos and somebody goes, how much is this DVD of unforgiven? And we go, I don't know, fucking $650. And they're like, well, why, what's happening from just going on Amazon? And we go, nothing. Nothing. And then we go, these TVs don't know, fucking $650 and you're like, well, why, what's happening from just going on Amazon? And we go, nothing, nothing.

And then we go, these TVs don't work. Fuck you. I'm in. I'm in. But first we have to buy the nicks. We promised about this. We're going to buy the nicks. How much money does everyone have on them?

That can be the first bit of money we put towards buying the nicks. On me, so for the recording, I don't come with cash to the recording. What? Yeah. What if we want a gamble? Well, you're unprepared. You don't have any cash on you, but I can see in your room behind you, there's one of those giant telephone booths with dollar bills and in their air vents blowing upwards.

Yeah, doctor. Doctor is staying here. I guess I should have said, does the Tartus just have dollars flying around that you can grab for 60 seconds? If the Tartus ever shows up at a Ford dealership during whatever Ford's big blowout June sale is, then yes. I have a small one.

1998 Ford Tartus, it's got a lot of miles. Can't express how many miles. I'm Dr. Who and welcome to Honda Topof. I've never seen an episode. Who Topof is never seen. I think you got it though. You get the right tone, voice, all the things. Does he introduce himself by saying,

I'm Dr. Who? Yeah. Go. Go. They go like this. He goes, say knock, knock. Knock, knock. Dr. Who's here. Hello. I'm a doctor of space and time or something

How can I help you with your injury? I know that is Soon Aaron has seen an episode from the specifics that she was able to pull and yeah, that's not real But I have seen a couple episodes I watched the what's the name of the woman who is in broad shirt shoes amazing. I love her. I love you a woman No, no the other woman the one who plays the mom of the boy. She would live you a old man. There you go She's she was the new doctor who and I've seen some David Tennant ones Seems like it's a good show and I do I do have to admit I haven't seen I've only seen like two or three

Doctor who episodes with an axe who we were we were watching and then fell out of it, but I love David Tennant so much more than David landlord I think David landlord is a creep enough. Yeah, and and disgusting human being my problem with David Tennant is It's like every every two years. There's a new David Tinnet, right? Like it just keeps turning over and turning. I never feel like I get to know the David Tinnet before there's a brand new David Tinnet there. All right, I'm setting a timer on the clock because you guys started this.

You have to make jokes about this for one more minute and the timer starts now, go. Keep going. Okay, okay. What else? Having not seen, but three episodes I I have how can we do more on David 10 and yeah, come on Okay, for the first second's left so okay, what

David ten net ten ten David nine it David aided David seven and Something won the David pinnett David yes David oh, I something one the David Pinnett. David Yes. David, oh, I loved when Tom Hardy and Leo DeCaprio were fighting in David the Remnant. Oh, yeah, I didn't see it. I heard it was slowly paced, but I loved the new movie David Tenet. Oh, yes, it's a time travel.

Whatever, I didn't see it. Something yep, yeah, exactly. Ten, ten, ten, ten ten ten ten David tenet Dan I Was running what else what else now now shall not steal the ten David Tibbets I'll should not tenet by neighbors wife Okay, okay Timer just went off Congratulations, we just lost all of our. Okay, I can sleep. Okay. Congratulations. Congratulations.

We just lost all of our advertisers. No. No. That's okay. I have a question for you guys. So, Doctor Who I Know, I Know From Cultural Osmosis, they switch the Doctor. They switch the Doctor, you know, everyone's new. Yeah.

There's been a bunch of Doctors. What, like, and it could be a show that doesn't exist anymore or is off the air, but what, like, you ask, like, a American show, would you have liked to see just go on forever, but they switch out, they just switch out the main character. Perfect strangers. Okay, okay. Well, that's an interesting question, Jay,

because I love that question. Mine would be friends and it's a new Chandler. Everybody. Oh, it's everyone else needs the same. It's just always a new, every two years a new Chandler. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Okay. Yeah Yeah, honestly friends is a really great answer Because they're so tropey and then just have people circle like cycle through that would be so fun

I think I have a real answer. Okay, and they're kind of doing this anyway in a way I'd say the sopranos with a new Tony soprano. Oh That's like when when he dies his Oh, that's like when when he dies his Mafiosa juice gets poured into someone else and then they be and then they're like you're the new Tony soprano I the the way that I enjoyed breaking bad and the way that I enjoy better call Saul It kind of feels like they can just pick a new person from that universe and do a show that runs for five seasons on that person I would have given, and this is a hand to note, there is no God. I would have paid everything I own if they would have done a

polywall nuts spin off of the surprise. Polywall nuts was, is maybe, I'd say he's top five characters from TV of all time. And they, I feel like they missed the boat not making a spin off series about polywall nuts. And your top five, it's Pauli Walnut's number one, and then one through, or four through five is, or I'm sorry, two through five is big pussy, correct? Big put, yeah. Well, two through four is big pussy, and the number five is Stanton's Little Helper. I think I kind of have an answer. Okay. Maybe madmen would have been cool and then but you actually let time keep going So it's like you have someone playing Don Draper, but time continues on and then a new person plays him for every like

10-year I feel 100% the next 10 years after John Hamms era it would have been Josh Brolin, right? Oh, Berlin? Oh, Brolin. Yeah. They should just keep doing it with actors with the exact same age. And then after Josh Brolin. Oh, I'm between 10 and 20 and I'm streaming. After Josh Brolin, you go to Ron Proman. Uh-huh. After Ron Proman, you go to... I was in songs of anarchy and I'm wrong for me Hellboy

I Still time for you I'm actually three doors that now that's three doors what I would pay to see Ron Pearlman doing all the five for funding scat Oh, I know what I want what do you want Dexter? Oh? I would have re-energized Dexter enough. I think every three seasons it's a new person who's Dexter and it doesn't matter for age or gender Anything and it's just a new Dexter every three years that how do you animate a new little boy in a laboratory? Yes, I would love that too because then we don't have to watch a show where we are watching someone falling in love with the person who is their sister in the show, but is their ex-wife in real life?

Yeah, that's not as fun to watch as you think it would be. Yeah, Michael C. Hall, I just, years and years and years ago, I started watching 6 feet under and got like a season and a half in and then stop for whatever reason Gem and I just started watching rewatching it. We watched the first season. Holy shit. That's a good show It holds up so well better than almost any show I've ever seen It is if you've never seen six feet under I cannot recommend it enough based on just the first season I think I watched maybe the first and second season, but I never finished, but I actually thought Michael C. Hall was very good in that show. Yeah, that's great. We, I maybe have said this before,

but I think six feet under has the best series finale of all time. I think everyone agrees on that. That's what everyone says. And Rob White, my friend in the show, World News Guy. Rosez, Rob White. My best bud. That's his favorite show, and he says,

he's like hands down the best finale of all time. That's all good. I gotta say this guys, I have so enjoyed this little conversation that we've had at the top of the show. Oh my God, I forgot this wasn't a Patreon episode. I swear to God, I thought. I can't tell. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Aaron, Aaron, we have to say, it is not on you. That's 100% not on you. Oh my God, I thought. Did you think this was your Patreon episode? No, I just thought that we were doing, like, for the last 15 minutes, I was like, surely this is a Patreon episode. I don't, I know I'm not old man puzzles, but this does feel like my fault.

Can we huddle real quick? Yeah, sure. Okay, you can use that button. And Casey, pause the audio here. Um, that's, you guys just do according to, you can use that. And Casey, pause the audio here. Um, let's see, guys, we just do a recording independently. Do you wanna just take care of your right? Can we just do a, um, each run episode for the main feed?

So, I was gonna say, what I was gonna say was, if you are worried that what we just did is indicative of what we do on the Patreon, don't be, it's not. It's just a total anomaly. It was just... What the fuck happened? She's not. Literally, forgot we were doing this. I was like, we're just chatting again, Erin, only one person is in charge of starting the rental portion.

Let's be fine. I'll do one. Then I want to go back to chatting because it's a really nice time. I do think it's important and not for me, but I will say I do love her. And also this year, I do think it's important to at least do one riddle before the break. I think that's like, yeah, it's the minimum that we owe the people who like the show. Okay, so let's do, let's do one, but we'll, we'll take our time with it. Oh, and me a lot of it. We've, we've, you know, we've

been, we've been getting this a lot lately, especially because the show, we're in our third year for the show. Is that right? I'm in my thirties. 2018, 2019. Wait, are we in the fourth year for the show? We started in July 2018.

Yeah, yeah, we're in the fourth year for the show because we've done over 150 episodes, so that puts us in the fourth year. So, and so, now there's going to be an incumbent podcast that can run against us? Yes, another real podcast can run against us in the big 2022 election. We got to figure out our platforms mid-term. But, people have been saying, hey, you've been repeating some of the riddles that you've done on the show before. And the answer is, yes, and that's what we'll do for the show now.

Because why would we remember? So we've done these rentals before. Also keep in mind that we don't listen back to these. So like we taught, we experienced this and then it's gone from our brain. Years and years, people get mad at me for telling the same story more than once. And then I go, listen, you've been, think of a friend that you've had for three years. People get mad at me for telling the same story more than once and then I go, listen, you've been, think of a friend that you've had for three years. You've never heard that friend repeat a story that they tell? It's unrealistic. I don't remember what I have said ever.

Now, this is much more important. I'm thinking about Aaron and I know she's repeated the story because of the podcast. So now I'm like living in Inception World where it's all crumbling down. Spin the top, spin the, I'm sorry, spin your tank top, spin your tank top, spin your tank top. Thank you. Shake, shake. Time to burn, time to lose yourself and never sold him down.

Hey, we're in a rental, four years, and we're still singing. Sorry, sorry. All right, let's do this with it. I'm sorry. Here's what we should do is, if somebody catches us telling a story we've told before, doing a riddle we've done before,

if they're the first person to email us at hrrpodcastagima.com, we will, the next time we do a riddle on the main feed, we'll name a character after you. So you have to email us and let us know that you're comfortable using your full name, it has to be full name, but you have to be comfortable with it, and then we'll use that as a character name in one of our

riddles. And then we'll retell an old riddle with a new name. Exactly. If I repeat a story, before you tweet at me, or you email me, or you Instagram message me, think, have I repeated a story that I tell in the last three years. If you've only been telling new stories for three years, then you can come at me. But if not, we all lost about a year and a half of being able to tell itty stories, because unless you wanna hear stories about something that I ate for the thousands of time

or a TV show that I rewatched. I broke a plate today. Did you really? No. No. I'm just trying to think of something interesting. Okay, here's our riddle. And for this episode, I'm going to use World News Tonightcast members' names. Okay, perfect. Rob White's eyes were not damaged in the accident, nor were any other

parts of his anatomy. The doctor insisted that Rob White get patched up before leaving the hospital. What's going on? Wait, it says specifically the eyes were not damaged and every other part of the body. Rob White's eyes were not damaged in the accident, nor were any other parts of his anatomy. And so the doctor insisted that Rob White get patched up before leaving the hospital. I have two guesses. Well, Aaron, I need to hear one of them. Well, I want to do both. The first guess is that they'd patch up his glasses in order for him to be able to drive home. He broke his glasses in some kind of accident.

So they patched up his glasses or they patched up his clothing because he came in ripped up and kind of naked. I'm the one they call Dr. Clothing. I'm gonna stitch up your pants. I want to see a scene. So, Dr. my pants ripped horizontally. Adler, you're gonna be playing like a doctor,

you're the on-call doctor for the ER, and you've come into the ER. You are a mummy from ancient times, and you're trying to get like free clothes out of the hospital, which is more like free bandages, because your bandages are starting to rot, but that's why you're there Okay Mrs. Common do you just want to hop up on the oh I guess you can't hop?

But do you want to just lay down here? I'm very stiff Yeah, can you sort of just pick me up like I'm a mannequin and then lay me down? Oh, oh, pick you up like you're in the movie mannequin Never seen it. Oh wow. Well, I'll just pick you up. I'll you there okay, and well how can how can I help you today? You said you're feeling a little stiff I am seeing some signs of rigor mortis Yeah, I mean I I Would say like this is sort of a DIY situation. Oh no you were drinking in

What what was that? No, go ahead. Sorry What? What was that? No, go ahead. Sorry. D-Y-I. You were drinking yelling in Vaselle? No, D-I-Y. Oh, D-I-Y drinking in the abriated yelling? Yes. That's not what I was doing. I'm just saying, this is a D-I-Y situation. It's a do-it-yourself situation. You just need to give me the supplies. I think I can sort of patch myself up. I'm sure you get that a lot. People come in the hospital and they go,

I'll do it myself. I can give myself stitches. I just need to shoot it. Yeah, I just want to give you those bandages. I can just. One of our doctors got fired for doing that too often in his endless patch. Adam. So we're trying to. I can give you a minute supply. What do you need? Gawns. Bandages. What do you need? Yeah. Gawns. Bandages. I just have like very normal cuts. I'm definitely not a mummy. It is Halloween. Thank God. Oh, so this is a costume. Yeah Can I see your face underneath this Doctor says what

Can I see your face? Oh What that's funny you're funny. Oh, thank you so much. I try here's a dumb dumb for you see I like though like doctor says what there like you're just trying to trick the doctor to admitting they're a doctor. I don't know. What? There's a panic move. Whoa, I, I worked my ass off for eight years to say what? So what are we things going on with? Aaron, those are great, those are great guesses, but they are, unfortunately, not the correct answer in this instance. Adam and Adam, when I was throwing in that whole mummy thing, that's also probably not the right direction as well.

Yeah, the guy who was in a mummy. Is it a human being? Is everybody a human in this? Is it Rob White's human, Doctor of Human? I have to assume. Okay, gotcha. It's not one of them's a horse and he has to get like a new like horseshoes or something like added like like externally added Not like part of the person Is Rob might robo cop does he need like more robo cop parts like it all his organs are technically working keeping him alive So he can go out and you know really cut defend the deter deterring members of the streets of Detroit I believe is the movie uh-huh I don't know can you give me a hint

well let me read it one more time and I'll give a slight hint rob white's eyes were not damaged in the accident nor were any other parts of his anatomy the doctor insisted that rob white get patched up before leaving the hospital now I think patch is the key word here and you need to think about what kind of patching or patch would you receive if it's not to help, if it's not to help like an internal injury. Okay, is this like a, is Rob White a boy scout

and he's getting his talk to a doctor patch? He's like a boy. I would like to see a scene. I would like to see a scene. Uh, JPC your boy scout and Adela, you are a doctor again. Um, and JPC, you're really trying to earn that patch. Oh, I can't believe that woman was a dead body wrapped in bandage. Oh, hello little boy.

Sorry, I'm, hello sir. My, my, my, all my hair just turned white. I just had the worst experience of my life. What can I do for you? Hello, sir your hair looks very good. You look like an adult, sir Thank you What my name is Kevin Henderson and I'm here from scap troupe 106 Well, you can put down those in X cards and you just talk to me Okay, you wrote out like I'll just be to something I can't put the cards down sir I need them for my project.

Oh, what? On the back of this, in the next card, you have up it says, um, joke to break the ice. Do you care if I go back and help my jokes, sir? Uh, yeah, that's fine. Go ahead. Knock, knock. Who's there? Boobs.

Boobs, who? So doctors can say boobs. Haha. Pretty good. I never heard that one. Okay. Here's a dumb dumb. Here's a dumb dumb. Thank you so much sir. I'm here to try to get my hospital vouch for Boyzgot trip 116, sir. Oh, boyzgot, wait, boyzgot trip 116. That's my former troop. That's fantastic. I know sir, you're a legacy. That's why I was recommended to go

to this hospital, sir. Oh wow. Well,. Well, why don't you come into the operating room here? No, no, no, don't need to wash your hands. Here's the scalpel. And why don't you cut? Let's see, let me look at this chart. OK, so this guy is getting a neck replacement. So why don't you make an incision right here? I can't operate on this person, sir,

because this person is my parent. Oh, wait, because this person is my parent. Oh, wait, but this person is a woman. Sir, this is actually not a Boy Scout troop sting. This is a sting to see if you can get your, yeah, it's a sting. To see if you can get your check, you're freaking privilege badge. Thank you, Sting. Sting, come on in here. Sting's also here This is why Sting dressed like Robert Redford in the sting. This is one of Sting's big things

Communities by helping doctors check their privilege What is the answer to the riddle you got reported sir? You got report because you told a little boy that a bone that was sticking out of his leg was something that just always was there horizontally rips pants jumps out window you was super here all the splat nope seen splat nope seen splat nope see heaven on earth okay what is the answer to this riddle? What did you have a hint for us daddy? I had a hint I did.

What a good little boy to remember. The hint is patches of very, very important word. And then think about what type of patches they're on in terms of helping people that's not necessarily intrusive or... Nicotine patch. I pat, oh nicotine patch. Dingo, dongo, hot.

Yes, yes. Rob White was a heavy smoker, which used to be true about Rob White. Oh, Dr. insisted that Rob White try a nicotine pat to help reduce the desire on Rob White's part to smoke heavily. That is a good riddle. Pretty good. My advice if you want to reduce the nicotine that you're consuming and if you're a smoker and you don't want to smoke anymore, have your first cigarette experience be lighting it wrong,

lighting it backwards when you're like 13 and having people make fun of you, and then you probably won't want to touch a cigarette for a significant amount of time after that. When we were younger, my dad used to own a bunch of community stores in Ohio and Columbus, Ohio. So my sister and I would bounce around and go to whatever one my dad was working at or hanging out at. And we would steal a pack of swiss or sweets and we'd go on the rougher in the back. Wow. And just put them in our mouth. We wouldn't light them.

But we just like roll them around our mouth and be like, we're adults. Very well-smith of you for the look. Don't light it. Wow. We thought it was pretty cool. Speaking of pretty cool, and be like, we're adults. Very well-smith of you for the look, don't light it. Wow. We thought it was pretty cool. Speaking of pretty cool, we're going to take a break and we'll be right back. Pretty cool.

Spot, nope, scene. You're a real real real real real real real. Yeah. Hey, JPC. Yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm I'm pranking at all and I'm setting up a website to prank him. I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all.

Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out It's a seat online whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand square space makes it easy to create a beautiful website It gauge with your audience and sell anything for products to cut into time all in one place all on your terms Hey, Otto come here come here. Hey, Otto, come here. Come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my

website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Um... Wait, what's going on with Addle? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics, use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool.

I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website, the prank site. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. The website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. Frank.

Square space. Yeah, it's a square space. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey, JPC, hey, JPC. What's up, battle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her.

Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com, slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron.

Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey Adel and JPC, thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an empaths. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way.

I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods woods isn't it funny to think about something like that i can't there never truly is a middle of the middle okay this is it i don't can you help actually so as per robber frost i don't know if you know his pome so you have a poem called better help i believe this is written in the eighteen hundred but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices, and the path forward isn't

always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career, relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, Therapy helps you stay connected to what you owl, owl. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Mm, and better help is entirely online. So it's designed to be convenient, flexible,

and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years and it suits the way that my brain works, way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about?

All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist, and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Mmm, dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help h-e-l-p dot com slash riddle r-i-d-d l-e r-i-d-d l-e the middle of riddles of d

but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the the home by home who are we uh...

uh... i would uh... clink clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday, and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Bunny.

Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Huh? Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions. Oh, yeah, Aaron. That's one of my favorite things as well. Uh-huh. Rock and Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, kling, kling, kling, kling. Oh, sorry.

I also want to give a toast. Rock and Money, well quickly, clink, clink, clink. Sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you and for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy, clink, clink. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks

off over three million, oh, clink, clink, clink. Over three million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rockets coming here. Stop, stop, clink, clink, clink. No, clink, clink, clink, stop. Throwing your money away,

cancel unwirted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That going to rocket money dot com slash riddle that's rocket money dot com slash riddle rocket money dot com slash riddle and tell them jpc's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website Link Splat nope back What do we think that's the new way to cut that to the show? 10 out of 10 I'm all in wow it's almost like it's almost like Chicago. It's like splat nope and it lip shit Cicero

They had it coming When he's riddles and then he's flat into my knife He's flat into my knife ten times. I didn't know you were talking about the musical if you're like it started like Chicago and I'm like What Sweet it is funny when I when I studied abroad Anytime anyone in England would like hear me talk they'd be like oh American where you from and I'm like Chicago And every single one of them this is like 40 some people would be like Chicago oh bang bang Al Capone or whatever they they'd mind guns or they'd say bang bang or whatever and I'd always be like no no no no and then having lived here a while I'm like actually yeah well Well, the green mill, famously like a cool plate bar in Chicago, has like a booth

that Al Capone uses to act. Cause it faces the entrance in the exit. Yeah, so you could like get out easily. And I always thought that was a cool Chicago lore. So I appreciate the Al Capone angle of Chicago. Do you ever walk behind the lever? I've always been for the biograph where John Dillinger was shot down. No. There's a biograph where John Dillinger

was killed behind it, I believe. John Dillinger famously had, I think, a 14 inch penis or something. Cool. No. It's in a jar somewhere with rest feet and then there's also the St. Ep Valentine's Day Massacre, which is now, the location of that is now just like a parking garage. So I did like a gangsters of Chicago tour, like maybe before I even moved up here, and they showed us all these spots. And it was funny to be like, look at this parking garage.

Now imagine 80 years ago, this, this, this, and I'm like, well, it's hard to do that when it's a fucking parking lot or whatever it is. Well, there's also one bar on Broadway where two different serial killers picked up victims. And I remember walking by that bar and being like, well, this place has a terrible vibe. It's just an awful vibe.

The L and L tabern. Yeah, the one that is like a Broadway, or Belmont and Clark, Belmont, Broadway. It's a super, it's a super busy area, but if you walk past that bar, you get like an energy changes and you're like, oh This is like a place out of time. I got I took me to that bar at a date Oh, no, yeah, I'll tell you what improviser was after we record

I used to drink there and somebody told me it was where like that Dahmer head hung out there and I was like Oh, that's weird and then one time I was sitting there sitting, there's a little row of stools that face the window and the window faces west to where there used to be a Dunkin' Donuts right there at Clark Cormon on the other side of the street, or 7-Eleven maybe. So I was sitting there at this row of stools facing the window that looked out

and the bartender or whoever it was, waiter brought me a drink and goes, that's the exact spot that Gacy used to sit when he was scouting victims or whatever. And I immediately got up and was like, nope. I was just able to. You salute and then you shimmy out. Yeah, nope.

You got to shake us. I am staying here. I just like it here at this bar. I used to go there after playground shows and drink. I don't know. I have three close to the playground. It's got a bad vibe. and guys, it's cash only. Yeah, it's also kind of dingy inside.

It's a bit of a dive bar. Yeah, it's pretty diving. I did not enjoy the time that I went in there. I have a very clean little killer there once and the guy said, okay, princess, I'm kind of indereded. Whoa. You were wearing a tiara though, right? Yeah, I was just like a pretty little prince.

Isn't she always. Yeah. All right, I'm sorry. We can do riddles. That'll do. The furniture store called Marlacaceras to tell her where to pick up the couch Marlacaceras had ordered. Marlacaceras got the message accurately but did not pick up the couch.

Even though she was available for several days during the time the couch was available to be picked up, what's going on? Fertish just recalls Marla Caceris and says, come pick up your couch from the furniture store or just tell her where to go pick up the couch. Yeah. From the store.

So they call and they say, your couch is ready, here's where to pick it up. Marla got the message accurately, there's no misunderstanding. She totally understood what they were saying, but's where to pick it up. Marla got the message accurately, there's no misunderstanding. She totally understood what they were saying, but did not pick up the couch. Even though she was completely available for several days during the time the couch was available to be picked up.

This is a red herring, because you're using a person from world news as the featured player in this riddle, Marla Caceres. When in fact, the actual person that is in this riddle, Marlick a Serious. When in fact, the actual person that is in this riddle is a person that's in the room right now, Aaron Keith, because what happened was Aaron Keith ordered a couch, moved to Los Angeles, and did not, and forgot to change her address. So they put, they shipped the couch to the furniture store in Chicago.

She got the information that it catches in Chicago, and she said, well, there's no fucking way I could go to that couch that couch is sitting in that store Maybe I'll get a refund for it. I guess but but I'm not getting that couch Nothing sir. You know nothing about me. You're a something about me are wrong. I'm very organized I don't know nothing. No nothing. That's not even one thing in the wrong address not one time No, you'll never catch me. You never catch me alive Not one time. No, you'll never catch me. You never catch me alive. Eris my the Hey, we're the little email. Just got another Google alert that a flight you're interested has changed price and that your did a reservation has been canceled.

Shut up, JPC. Shut up, JPC. I'm sorry that sometimes I track flight. Did they really? We did get we got like 18 emails that were like, the flight you've been searching to Paris has been updated or whatever. You don't know me. I kept being like, why are we getting this weird spam?

And then Aaron was like, I'm going to Paris and I'm like, oh, excuse me. You are lucky that you have this much of an insight into my life. Some people would kill to know the flights I'm tracking, Bella's, fuck you, and fuck you. And Aaron lost it again. Go me to 30 episodes this time, fucking guys, making fun of me. It's one time I have two packages at my house that are addressed to Aaron that I now have to send to LA. There was one time I legitimately thought that maybe like one of our business cards had been stolen

because we had an email that was like your dinner reservation is at this time and I was like, what the fuck is this? Is someone like, is someone dinner card getting stolen? Is someone trying to like buy dinner on our card? No, I just, I forgot to change the name of the G-Mail when I made a reservation. Well, well, well. Everyone knows now that I can't keep track of shit. I didn't buy, I used my car. I know, I know. I want to see a thing.

Simply a visitor's standing. No, I need to yell one more minute. Okay, okay. Hold on to your scene, sir. Okay. Everyone has their thing. I'm trying not to yell too much into the mic. I'm trying to calm down. I sometimes send Books to my friends houses when I mean to send them to me sure I Anytime I make a choice on the internet and an alert gets sent to my co-workers.

Sure, five, that's normal. That's just a part of growing up. That's just a part of being such a pretty little princess. But I will say, everyone has their thing, and I appreciate your patience with my thing. I really do, but I'm not patience with my thing. I really do But I'm not going after you guys. I want to episode soon. I'm gonna tease the shit out of either of you No, what we're gonna do is Aaron the next time we do a live show We're going to bring a TRF for you

We're going to place it upon your crown your head then we're going to deem you Princess organization and then JPC can unfurl a scroll and then list all the things that I did wrong on the internet. Eric, I will not blow up anyone's spot, but there was a time where as a cost sharing method, I was, this is years ago, I was sharing an Amazon Prime account with a friend of mine. It was their account. They were, I was paying them, you know, a fee and using their account because it didn't matter how many people were on that account and one time I was going through the order history. Wait can Casey can beep this name but is it? It's not no no no it's not

oh but I the order I would say his name if it was him and beep that name both times Casey but we are going through the order history and because I was returning something and then I saw just like three different porn DVDs that had been purchased and I was like I texted I texted the person that I was there with because I'm sure they did not know what you what you see yeah and I was like hey then you know porn's free free I get It's everywhere on the internet. This is like six years ago like it's yeah porn just exists I guess if you really want to support someone or you're trying to like but no GVD I see you ordered a mini disc of porn

Um a VHS copy Oh man HD DVD port are there trailers on porn DVDs? I assume there's that there's a menu screen It's it's the worst cycling menu screen that you could imagine, but there is yes So so What is the point of a menu screen? Is it like to search out chapters? Addle, that's a really great question. Now they don't have them anymore. So I can, although that they they're at no point. But I think yeah, I think I think a menu screen is just to like

have something on. Well, the thing is on. So it's not just like a blank screen. It used to be the TVs were made so that images, if they were just stationary, would burn into your, oh yeah. Like if you had a plasma television. So maybe they put them on to circulate. So it wouldn't like burn images. Burn images TV. Because it would be an awful image to, uh, it truly have on your TV with company over. I'm so sorry.

I truly want to hear this. No, wait, you said you had a scene that we should have seen. Oh, yeah. 10 years ago. I want to see it. I want to see a scene. So JPC, you're staying at the Waldorf Astoria. Okay.

Is it Waldorf Astoria? I'm already telling you the salad. I'm so in my head now, because every single time I misspeak, somebody would be like, I listen to an hour long episode and here's the one thing you said wrong. And that's the only thing I have to offer towards you.

And just so you know, if you wanna ruin that all day, you can tell if it's the Waldorf Astoria or something else else but let's assume it's wall door okay wall door for story There might not be an R in that you guys I'm in my audio bar and I was like why is there just a wall of so I yelled yeah Yeah, yeah, that's what mine looks like every episode area. So JPC you're staying at the fancy hotel in New York City Aaron you are the matrede at this in New York City, Aaron, you are the matredee at this, matredee, not a concierge, you're the concierge. You're the concierge at this hotel, at this very fancy hotel,

and you are the most unorganized person ever. Cool. Hey, I'm Zach. Hi. Oh, hi. I'm sorry. Were you trying to take a phone call? Oh, be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be- How long have you been? Oh, I checked you in. Did I check you in? Yeah, like 10 minutes ago. She's in the restroom.

I just wanted to see if we could get a bottle of champagne so that we got to walk out, we'll be walking for about an hour. So if there was like, the champagne could be in the room when we got back, that would be- Okay, eggs in bacon to room 308 in the next six hours. Got it. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Was that a different person's order that you were saying?

You were making direct eye contact with me when you said that. Yes, that's not your order. That's not my order. Correct. You just told me that are am I hungry? Huh? Well, do you know my computer password? I can't get in. I'm gonna say From having an interaction with you for about 15 seconds. I'm gonna say your password is password I'm sorry to interrupt here ma'am concierge earlier. I asked for a new room key because mine wasn't working I just tried the one you gave me and it's a blockbuster card. Oh Okay, we don't have movies here sir. Uh Okay, so I can't accept that card. Thank you. I am so sorry to do this

I actually hate that I'm about to do this But is there anyone else maybe who's working today or? Oh my God, I have a cat. Oh my God, I was like, wait, why do I have to go home? Oh my God, I have a cat. Sure. Oh shit, I have a cat. He's probably, okay, no, it's fine. Wait, let me get your papers.

My papers. Yeah, your papers, give me a sec. I hope you're not. I, sir, I didn't ask for any papers. She's talking to you, do you your papers? My papers. Yeah, your papers. Give me a sec. I'm gonna give you a paper. I, I, I, so I didn't ask for any papers. I'm, she talking to you, do you need papers? Here, and then here, you have kids, right? Yeah. Here's a little coloring page for your kids.

The pool is, She just handed me $600. Uh, a paper pool is here somewhere. Okay. Let me get your room key, 308. It doesn't matter This is a bit of excellent experience for me. I will punch card for sandwich or room key try this perfect I'm gonna come back here all the time. This is great service. See I love the image of like like a home alone

Catherine O'Hara Grasping her face being like oh no, I have a cat. Oh, I have a cat. I have a cat. If I'm that person in real life, I'm for sure on a prank show, and I'm looking for the head cameras. I'm like, the cameras are somewhere.

I'm not gonna say it, because it'll ruin the shot and it won't make it into the final cut, but I am starting to look for the cameras. Nobody's this incompetent. So what do we think about this couch delivered to Marla? Oh, this one. Forgot we're still doing this fucking one.

I'll reread it and then give me a hint. The furniture store called Marla Cosseras to tell her when to pick up the couch that she had ordered. Marla Cosseras got the message accurately but did not pick up the couch. Even though she was available for several days during the time the couch was available. Oh, I know it picked up

Yes, please she ordered it for the furniture store That's like she's a designer. Honestly, that's a better answer than the right answer Addle let me ask you a question about this couch. Yes Did Marla ordered the couch she she herself ordered the couch Marla Caceris did order the couch Okay, I was thinking that there was maybe like it was like one of those things where Like it's someone's ordered a couch for like they're like secretary or their girlfriend or something and or their boyfriend And then they called up the wife of the part like the cheating.

Cheating, so not that person. It's like the love actually where she opens the box and it's the ring that she was giving. Mm-hmm. And it wasn't my thing about moving across country, but you said Aaron was closest with, she was a designer ordering a couch. I said Aaron's answer was better than the actual answer

because this guy, I got to say, Mike had taken a riddle court. Well, I'm excited to go back to riddle court. I think we have been given like three plausible answers for what this riddle can be. In my mind, kind of work. I'm ready for the answer. This is maybe, I don't want to say this is Occam's razor because it's maybe not the simplest answer, but it's pretty it's way more

based than you would it's way less complex than you can. Can you give us one more hint that we'll just hopefully lead us ushress right to the front door of this answer. Um really make a meal of it. Yeah. Marlacaceras did order this couch or should I say a Marlick is there is absolutely ordered this cow wrong woman Pick up line the punctuation there is so important wrong woman It is not wrong cover woman Wrong well, he got you got the wrong guy. You're now getting right wrong Wrong, well, he got you got the wrong guy. You're an alligator right? Wrong one

Yes, so you did sus it out. There were two Marla Caceris is in the phone book when the first door called They left the message on the answering machine of the wrong Marla Caceris the one who had not ordered anything Yeah, Rital Court Rital Court Rital Court all right for Judge JBC of Rital court, Rital court. All rise for Judge JBC of Rital Court. Doom, Doom. All rise, all rise, all rise. I am your bailiff, uh, Matthew McConaughey. Please put your hand on this stack of post-its from Memento. So do be clear, we have me, the judge, the person that said all rise, which is a bailiff,

and then we have another bailiff. Double bailiff, baby. Two bailiffs. Double bailiff. bailiff, Johnson, bailiff, Johansson. This is gonna be a quick day in Riddle Court. I can tell you that much right now. I have the prosecution and I may just say that

I think that this should go back quick because this riddle sucked more than the vacuum cleaner that I bought recently. And I'm the double prosecution and can I just say I need to mop my brow with his hanker chill for let me Pull out my suspenders and let me drink from this tall glass sweaty sweaty glass of lemonade And you reason why there's two of us And your honor I'm Mickey and I'm Ricky and with the defense twins and our client is guilty

the defense twins and our client is guilty. Well, they just admitted it right there in the paper, right there. They wrote, they said it. They are admitted it out loud in front of the whole court. And then the way you taped it all down. Thank you. Thank you. Well, sometimes it's all down.

This doubles the reverberal wooden court. Not the judge yet until I unwrap my head and it's a kind of a professor quarrel thing because it's me on the back here as well And I'm ready to issue I am ready to issue my verdicts And I'm drawn and I'm drawn pictures that everyone involved when they say something I take out my crayons and I scroll in a face And then I say here's what happened if you weren't able to be here live Here's a here's a terrible little picture. Now Mr. Cartoonist, it appears that there's only one of you.

Would that assumption be correct? Oh wait a minute everyone else has two. Everyone's got two. How come I'm the only one with just one? We, the two people in the Jerry find this riddle innocent. Oh, innocent innocent innocent. You turn innocent's so easy. That's so easy. That's so easy. You turn it in, innocent.

Anya, anya, anya, anya. Well, fuck. Boop. See, no, no. The runner, what's the proper way? Splat, stop, no. See, thank you. Daniel.

So last night, we met our neighbors. They are a couple that lives next to us, like in our building. And we were so nervous. I felt like a first date. I was so so nervous to meet them. And both of them were lovely. Some of the loveliest women I've ever met. But I did have to, again, we talked about this before, describe our podcast to them.

Oh. And I said, it's like me and two other comedians and we solve riddles, but it's mostly just us trying to destroy each other. And I feel like that is the perfect example of us going like, you better hold on tight, because I'm changing the rules every five seconds. Well, I know we went to RentalCourt specifically

to talk about that Rental, of course, we did not, but I gotta say, it sucks that they're using the phone book to track down a purchaser. It's like, did you not get their phone number when they bought the fucking house? Yeah, email, chomper, mace, shit, like what are we doing here? Can't just a pretty big purchase?

Pretty big, pretty big. Um, I would, yeah, Aaron, I would agree that this podcast has very big spy versus spy energy. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No, I think it has to be as a little bit of a thing. I'm so excited.

Goofy's versus gallon, how many minutes? Addle, is it possible? Yes. Could we get one more riddle? Is that something that I can even ask for? I don't know, I don't know the protocols here. I don't know.

I did a big deal. We can, we can, we're gonna do one more, but because I love them. Yes, we're gonna do one more here. Okay. The Conley boys, Pat and Chad had gone to school and been suspended. Oh. When Becca Conley was also suspended after school on February 3rd, 2016, Principal Kevin and the Conley parents were joyous. What's going on?

So the two Conley Boys had done something and gotten suspended at school. When their sister Becca also got suspended, the parents and the principal were overjoyed. They were joys enthrilled. When Becca got suspended, it's one of these like fucking protest things. Like her brothers got suspended for some bullshit technicality because of sexism, and then she gets suspended as well proving

that the whole system is sexist, and then the principal and the parents finally have the, you know, the tailwinds of societal change at their back so that they can adjust a fucked up rule that's existed so long in this fucked up patriarchal society. JBC grab a pen, because that's your next Netflix movie. Holy shit. Yeah, if I had a dollar for every time,

JBC said the tailwinds of societal change. I'd be a millionaire. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Um, okay, here's the thing. And I'm gonna be honest. Oh. I'm a little confused because February is right smack dab in the middle of the school year.

And why say the date if that, if the date doesn't matter? I think I do. So it has something to do with February. I truly add, does the date matter? matter. So it has something to do with the value. I truly, does the date matter, does the date matter in this riddle? In the slightest sense, in terms of vague seasonality, but don't think seasonality like winter,

it'd be more like the seasonality of the school year perhaps. So like Valentine's Day? Valentine's Day? No. But, I mean, yes, but not for this. Oh, a black history month, black history for this. Oh, Black History Month, Black History Month? Shabbling? No, no.

So it's more to do with maybe sports. Oh, like she got to spend it. What's a sport you get suspended in? Oh, like a game, like a basketball game. Aaron, you nailed it, but there's a little more specificity going on. And it's this is maybe. Maybe it's going to get hurt or something if she didn't get to spend it in the game.

No, it was a different person named Becca. They were on the other team or something like that. No, this was Becca Conley. So she was a part of the Conley family. But was Becca Conley on the opposing team and she gets suspended and so the principal is happy because the other team got suspended. No, because the parents are also happy unless they have favorites. Yeah, I mean, sure, like, I don't know these fucking people. I don't know what they're fucking like.

This might be back-to-back riddle court. I don't think you're going to get these two. These two? I'm sorry, I don't think you're gonna get this one. Oh, okay. So maybe I'll just say the answer. I'll give you one more hint. Give me a hint, yeah.

Um, a ruse. A ruse. Oh, okay, so maybe I'll just say the answer. I'll give you one more hint. Give me a yeah Aruse a Ruse slam Aruse Aruse you know, yeah, it's it's technically a better hint if you just keep saying it that makes us get it So basketball has slam and there's also there was a snack called blank arouse. Yeah, so she dunked and then got suspended. Is it a new bingo hot to tie? Becca was the first female student to dunk a basketball in a school game. She as her two star basketball playing brothers had

done before her briefly hung suspended on the rim as her parents in the high school principal looked on. Pretty bad riddle. How now,, egregiously hang on the rim, that's considered like show-butting. Because you might- Because you told us she was tall. Yeah. Is it because you might break the rim or like bust the glass or something or just because-

I think it's like, yeah, maybe damage to the rim, but it's also considered like a bit of delay of game and a bit of just like, poor sportsmanship. But it is, and I'm speaking totally out of my ass, but as a casual and WNBA fan I want to say that in like the history of the WNBA. There's only been like a Doesn't dunks or something so for a high school or to do that is wild. That's fantastic. Yeah, I would cheer

I would love I mean if I went to a basketball game and I paid one of basketball games cost $13 $600 I don't know if I want to take it to a basketball game and it was just of basketball games cost $13 $600. I don't know. If I bought a ticket to a basketball game and it was just nonstop walled the walled dunking, I'd be like, I got what I paid for. And if somebody dunked and somebody blew a whistle and we're like, now everybody has to be sad, I'd be like, what are we doing here? It's a fucking game. They should all be jacked up with as much drugs as possible, make them 7 foot 8-foot fucking

surgery steal into their legs to shoot them up and just let them slam balls all day That's what I want to see fucking people amen. I want to see a very quick scene This is gonna be our last scene of the show and what the scene is is Aaron This is a high school basketball game. You are a high school student You've just dunked the ball and you're hanging on the rim and you've realized you can't get down and JPC You are the coach of the team trying to help out in the situation. Gotcha. Um.

It's okay. Um. It's okay, Yominoor. It's okay, Yominoor. Everybody's gone home. Stadium's empty. Nobody's looking anymore. Nobody's looking anymore.

You just come down. I'm doing it on purpose. Yeah, I'm not stuck. I'm not scared. We know. Okay, we lost the game. Everyone's looking anymore. I'm doing it on purpose. So yeah, I'm not stuck. I'm not scared. We know. Okay. We lost the game. Everyone's gone home.

The other team's already safely back at their hotel. It's fine, Eleanor. Help. I'm here to help. I'm here to help. I'm here to help. I'm here to help. I'm a squat-burly man, just muscle and arm hair,

and I'm down here ready to catch you, okay? So at any time you can just let go of the rim just I'll kill you if I fall I'll crush you to death. Thank you. Of course. Sorry, big fan of the game tonight I just wanted to just struggle after to catch your ear. Big fan of the game tonight.

I think it was amazing how the other team continued to absolutely dominate and score with one of your players hanging off the rim. I thought that was incredible in the second half. That was not my favorite part My nose is bleeding It's starting kind of using my face as a backboard, but like front No, no, I just want to say to see a ball hit that girl's face and then fly upwards and backwards Why is she was doing a backwards note. Really showboding.

No, no, you don't understand. I, okay, I'll let that happen because of improv. But I was facing it and then it would hit the backboard, hit my face and then go in. You switched, you switched around a lot. You were, you were really changing your arm placement. I could tell maybe you were getting to anyway sir Thank you so much. Yes, Elinor all you got to do is let go of the rim you'll thought you will not crush me Hey if four divorces didn't crush me this won't okay. I'm hurt

I'm hurt to I just mentioned I got four different divorces I was from the same woman so it's sort of discounts is one for me once shame on. Shame on me. Fool me twice. Shame on, uh, she fool me. Thrice. Shame on she. Three. I got divorced again. That's all I'm a bad guy. I'm gonna sleep up here.

Sure. See, I heard that before. The kids come to school the next Monday and there's just a girl on the rim with a pillow still hanging on. And not even like, cool. Lee just sort of like this. Yeah, or in a sleeping bag. Aaron speaking of being just a girl on the rim, what are you got going on? Anything that you would like to plug? Follow me, Aaron, keep 10 on Instagram.

And thank you for listening to the show. I really appreciate it. You should subscribe to our Patreon. It's a great time to subscribe to it too because like we have so many tier goals that are going to have awesome episodes in them and then also I just think that Patreon episodes recently have been the best time ever Like I've been dying laughing and then thinking about them for days

So I think now is a really good time to hop on there for a month. And then you can leave, whatever you want. I wanna say if you subscribe to our Patreon, I wanna say there's like 175 episodes of content waiting for you, 175 hours, is that right? I mean, no, but I love that you wanna say it. Okay, it's somewhere in there, it's over 100 hours. Yeah, I mean, it's probably, I would say like 130 episodes plus there's some like review crew in there, it's over a hundred hours. Yeah, I mean, it's probably, I would say like 130 episodes,

plus there's some like review crew in there, but like maybe get to like 150 with review crew. And the live streams and the bonus, the D&D stuff. Oh yeah, I guess if you've counted some of this stuff as Amazon, there's a lot of content in there, years and years and years of content in there. I add on anything to plug. I want to plug a little TV show called six feet under.

Please check that out. And where we stream with the HBO mix. It's on HBO Max. Okay. And then check out Hello from the Magic Tavern. We just ended our third season. What we're taking a little break and we're going to come back with all kinds of fun new surprises and stuff and shows and episodes. Yeah. It's time to catch up on that as well. Hell yeah, JPC anything to play. Just a twitch.tv slash shark barkman that's where you can find me playing some video games at random times. And if you're listening to the episode today, I'm not going to be on Twitch, so don't

even bother coming to Twitch today because I'm not there. Here. Oh, please. One more thing I want to plug, or actually unplug, is Kasey Tony's Twitter. Here we go. This episode's already so long. I'm glad we're adding one more. Okay, I'll wait till later. It's Kasey.

You're safe this time, buddy. No responses from your ass, huh? Okay. Aaron, speaking of something Casey Tony tweeted recently, did you see that one dumbass one word tweet? Yeah it said Jupiter. Bye forever. Do it. Walk a walk again. Nope., see. Hey there, Frasier's and Niles. If you like that that you are going to love this week's Clue Crew. We go back to our state series this time with Washington.

You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle by joining the Clue Crew for $5 a month or the review crew for $8 a month. See you there! See you there!