Hey Riddle Riddle - #167: Queen For a Day

Episode Date: September 29, 2021

(Trumpet sounds) Hear ye hear ye! Announcing that we have a Queen on the podcast today! Please bow low, don't look her in the eyes and offer her up gifts of laughter and cinnamon! Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. It's happened with Cutscrap. And the word is Friday. Friday. Friday. Friday. Friday. Friday. Friday. Friday.

Friday. Friday. Friday. Friday. Friday. Friday. Everyone got around pleasing the town square. You there sir, what's your name? My name? Well I'm JPC. B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b- What was that? No, it's just reacting to you had special news and I was just giving you a verbal like I heard that you had special news

But I didn't want to step on what your special news was. Did you ever not say what you're thinking? You said what was that? Because of big old bird fluvi. Oh! Do you see that bird? What was that bird? That's my- well, that's my bird. I can talk all day about my bird. Do you want me-

I mean, now I'm getting completely bad- that's my raven. Casey insert horn sounds. No. KC into a horn. Those weren't horns. Yeah, like a trumpet, like a, like a, like a whole timey. Yeah, we got it. A trumpet.

A special announcement has been decreed to be read throughout the village in the town in the land For this episode in this episode only okay On this timber of sept 29th Aaron Keith shall be queen of this episode now a lot of people are gonna Deha me and say you fucking loser Aaron's always a queen and I agree DM me and say, you fucking loser, Aaron's always a queen, and I agree. But I'm saying, for the fun of this episode, people who hate me, Aaron dictates all that happens, and Aaron is queen for this episode,

presenting her highness, queen Aaron or Quarren, for sure, I guess? Quarren, are you there? Oh, listen up poor people and losers. This is gonna be a real nightmare all around. I have a question. Part six first, don't call me Quarren. If you're one of those things, do you have to listen? Or is it only, is it an and thing where you have to be both? I wasn't listening anyway, so smack in the mouth.

You will respect your Quarren. I mean, listening anyway, so smack in the mouth. You will respect your queron. I mean, your queen, Erin. You, you JPC, you will be, JPC will stand for Jester to please the court, and I, of course, Adel will stand for a duke always late. Queen Erin, the floor is yours. What would you like to have happened in this episode? I would like to leave. Okay.

Can't say I didn't see that drawing. I, I, okay, first of all, I don't even have a speech prepared. I'm like going through the notes on my phone to see if I prepared a speech for anything, to see if it'll apply. I never, I never leave the house without two speeches. If that's why. The speech where the world calls me up to fight,

we know whatever alien or monster has invaded. And this, and this, I never leave the house without preparing two speeches. Can we hear this first one? Of course. I haven't left my house though. I would like to hear that. I'm at home recording this. If I was clean, I would like to hear it. I'm here. I'm at home recording this.

If I was... That's the queen I would like to hear the speech that you are going to make if a monster ever invades. America? I know that you're scared. And that's okay, because I'm scared too. I'm scared shitless. I shit my pants just moments ago.

Pissed myself too. A one and a two. A three, someone call it. And I just saw a picture of the monster and it was blurry. Some of you have actually seen it. I'd shit myself again and I haven't eaten anything today. If I saw a real non-blurry picture of that monster, I'd shit myself for a second time today and I haven't eaten anything today.

And I didn't have a big day yesterday Eating wise. What did I have? Light breakfast. I nibbled a grazed for lunch and I think I think I went to sleep at like five and I I woke up at like nine And it was too late for dinner for me and I just went to bed Sir, you're getting hung up on the minutia. Please comfort the nation. Thank you. Thank you, Joffrey. Anyway, where was it? I'm scared of this monster.

Hell, I'm so scared that if I saw this monster, I would throw up. And I honestly, I'm running on E. I'm fumes in my tank. And I'm not a big guy either. So you took E? Oh yeah, I'm rolling. Let my tank. And I'm not a big guy either. So you took E? Oh yeah, I'm rolling. Let's get you hydrated.

Owl, I would like to kill JPC. That will be my first move. You asked. You asked. Aaron, I can't stress you out. Can you read that verbatim? I can't stress enough today for this episode. You are queen of the episode.

So anything you want to have happen happens, we're gonna say, I think, unless you deem it otherwise, you're the one who calls for scenes or calls for whatever. So Erin, you are queen of the episode. What would you like to have? We're about five minutes in. What would you like to have happen?

Well, first of all, I would like to say, I didn't know this was happening. I don't know what I did to deserve this. Just before recording, I went, we haven't recorded in a couple weeks. What happened to me in the last couple weeks? I remember something funny happening and then saying, I should remind myself to say that to JPC and Adel, but I don't even remember what that is. I came completely unprepared to this episode.

So I don't think I deserve this. Queen, Queen Show, we jog your memory? Yes. Was it something to do with travel? No. I can't stress you enough. It might have been a moment on a TV show. Sure.

It could have been a bird that I saw. I'll let you guys know about it in remembering. Aaron, I don't know if it's helpful, but I invented a new game that we can play. Yes, I would like, that would, Queen Aaron says yes, I would like to play your game. Okay, I texted Adela about this and I was like, I don't know if they'll fit into the episode,

but he said, well, you'll have to wait and see. And I believe it could, it could very well. Aaron, I think that this is something that you'll enjoy. Adela, are you both familiar with celebrity chef Guy Fieri? Of course, he's wearing flames on her shirt. He's one of my favorite people in the whole world, and Mariah and I have been playing a game that I like to call Guy Fieri's kitchen game.

And we've been playing this while we've been cooking for the past couple of days, and I wanted to bring it to you. So the way that this game is going to work, is all you have to say is, Are you crying? I'm getting way that this game is gonna work, is all you have to say is, Are you crying? I'm getting emotional. Cause this game is so specious, this is a riddle podcast, by the way.

But we'll get to that. It's a riddle podcast. Hold on. This is a riddle podcast, and this is one of our classic warbuck games. When the monsters that eventually invade this Earth, and even after JPC's in Thrawling Speech, when the monsters invade this Earth

and hear this podcast on their own, they're gonna be so confused by this episode. One of the monsters is gonna be like, hold on, I wanna hear how to play Guy Ferry's Kitchen Game. I think if you're like, we're gonna be like this game, I think I'm gonna get this game. So all one of you is,

but that's not gonna like our best Guy Ferry accents, but you pick anything like, I'll start with my favorite thing, waffles. And you say, I'm making waffles. And then the next person who goes has to add something to the beginning or the end of that sandwich style rules apply. And make and we're creating like a weird Geiffy area inspired food item. So like you might say, I'm making salty waffles. And then the third person has to say put something on the beginning of the end. You can't go in the middle beginning of the end sandwich

style. That type of thing. And we build until one person can't remember what all of the things were said. Now if that ever happens, the person who just passed it onto them gets a chance to say say it all over again. and if they get it right, the other person has to eat it. So it's gonna say, I'm making, you have to say, Aaron, you're eating, and then list the full thing, okay? Okay. So when you say nothing can go in the middle,

so if you said I'm making, would you say, salty waffles? Salty waffles. So you can't say I'm making salty, caramelized, caramel waffles. No, but the one thing. If you caramelize salty waffles. So you can't say I'm making salty caramelized caramel waffles. No, but the one thing- Maybe caramelized salty waffles. Caramelized salty waffles or I'm making salty waffles or the one that you can't use you can change plurality.

So you can change from plural to single. I don't think that's the same as changing plurality, but you can change the tips. So you could say I'm making salted or salty waffle carmels instead of waffles' carmels. So somebody said, I'm making strawberries. And then somebody said, I'm making milk strawberries. You couldn't then say, I'm making milk chocolate strawberries. No, you cannot. You have to put it, I don't understand

what you don't get about sandwich-style. I can't stretch the best to the listeners. That I haven't talked to them in three weeks. I haven't spoken to JPC or Adel in weeks. And we've been testing each other. JPC moved into a new house. Adel went to France. We're not gonna talk about that.

We're gonna play this game. So it'll go B, then Adel, okay? And Mike, we forgive me, but what happened was JPC moved to France and I Traveled to a new house. Oh, thank you. I'm sorry. I got very lost All right, ready. Yes, I'm making lobster Garlic I'm making garlic garlic garlic. Garlicky lobster That's your guy for your impression error. No, I'm making garlicky lobster. There we go.

I'm making garlicky. I'm making garlicky. You laughed at me. You laughed at the queen. And then you fell in the same hole the queen found. The queen hole. I fell in the Queenhole. Did you fell on the Queenhole?

Not again. I'm making garlicky lobster sandwiches. I'm making garlicky lobster sandwich bombs. I'm making smoked garlicky lobster sandwich bombs. Moock Galicky lobster sandwich bombs. I'm making Marble smoked Galicky loves their sandwich bombs. I make a moderate Jack Marble lobster smoked snow. Oh, damn it.

Oh, all right. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's no, no he just said to you right he said it to me so he has to make me eat it now I miss what you added this time. Yeah, it's this is a hard game, huh? So I won't make you eat it. Thank God I'm making lobster bobs Monoray Jack that's what my bro Smoke Galicky Lobster

Galaki Love Love sir Same with you, Bob Eat it Eat it Fuck, okay God, it's so garlic-eats Alright, Aaron, you can say that's the thing, Trippler

The one that is the one that couldn't get over Aaron, you can start us off I'm making pills Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, I'm making galicky double sauteed pills allarange. I'm making galicky double sauteed pills allarange salad. I'm making... Oh, galicky. That was like you saw like a loved one rise from a great As a zombie like that shutter Aaron there is on me why did you come up She's a mother You think when you see a zombie you come up dust. I mean, I mean my queen you are correct

You are correct. You are correct today. I have never been less suited to be queen. You are at least 50 episodes. Yeah, you just ate a bunch of dust. Where I was chomping at the bit to be queen of the episode. I like it. Go back to listen to episode 20.

I will kill the queen then. I hope Aaron sees a ghost and it walks through a wall. She's the one. I't vampire and I'm like, you're the ex-manus, you're the ex-manus, you're the ex-manus. You're a rogue. You're just like a rogue. You're just a rogue. You're the first to do things that they have everyone else's

powers, but does not. But does not. Oh, okay, I would like to see a seed. Yes, of course, McQueen. Um, you are to our husband and wife and all the dead is rising from their graves to turn into zombies and it's you guys like seeing each other and realizing that your zombies now. Realizing that your zombies now Oh

Crap Hey, I got out of my grave and and you weren't buried next to me. Did you re-marry? To me, did you...remerry? Uh, at...point of clarification. Cause I'll keep it either way. Did you say Doug or Dog? Well, at first I said Doug, which is your name, but now that I found out what you've done, you're a dog.

Oh, it looks like I'm in the dog house No, no, no, no, no Now first of all she's a great Zia Have you lost kin Oh Okay, so Oh that okay so come back to great yeah all right look you're on to be honest you died young and what was I supposed to do I wasn't gonna be a load forever just because I ate a monoray, Marbrow spoke, Garlicy Lofts' and Wasp'aam, and died because it was off the chain.

Doesn't mean you should re-marry. How long did you wait? Eleven? Ha ha! Years? Oh! I mean... Same. Ha ha ha!

Minute. Ha ha ha! Ah, okay. Minute. Okay, the queen. Yes. The queen wants riddles. Then riddles the queen shall have. Aaron, I love that you had ultimate power and you decided to follow the normal format of the show. Well, the queen, excuse me,

the queen has an obligation to her people I'm not a bad queen I'm not an evil queen I didn't bring a hundred year winter people for whatever reason want us to do more riddles first of all if you're one of these people are you okay DM me I think you're probably going through something you definitely don't want more riddles. That can't be true. So I'm giving the people what they want, which is riddles. Maybe there are people out here listening to the show

who have a fuck ton of nephews, and they're like, I've got to have more riddles because these little motherfuckers are driving me crazy for entertaining my sister's kids. Go to the cheesecake factory and they say more riddles and I got nothing. I'm rid of them empty. Well, I'm gonna hate empty. I want my Hay-Written Riddles. The only podcast that will satiate your sister's kids needs. Uh, whoo. Wait, where are the riddles?

With riddles. I think that Hay-Written Riddles should be the only podcast that, instead of that 15-second skip forward button, has a 15-minute skip forward button. For the people who truly just only want to hear the riddles. And they don't want to hear fun games or zombie scenes. I hope we should see you again. skip forward button has a 15 minute skip forward button for the people who truly just only want to hear the riddles And they don't hear fun games or zombie seeds. I hope wish they'll be at a 15 year skip button Because that was spooky. Yeah, that was great

Speaking of spooky queen Aaron here is your first riddle When set loose I fly away Never so cursed as when I go astray. What am I? Devs. I balloon. I balloon. You're both correct, it's a dovetail balloon.

Oh my God, that a chocolate balloon. That's my favorite print speside. When set loose, I fly away. Never so cursed as when I go straight. Yes, my queen. I immediately took to the power. It went to my head so fast. Wow, yeah, it truly did, Aaron.

I'd like to see a seed. Adel, you're a little boy and JBC, you're a balloon. And Adel, you accidentally let the balloon go. Oh no! Mr. balloon, please come back! Haha, thank you. See what? Did you remarry?

What do we think this is? I love the balloon as an answer. Just just so we're clear. I think that works pretty well. I think works for the first part. When set loose, I fly away, but the second part is never so cursed as when I go astray. So that's the part that we need to do. Yeah, that works for the first part. When set loose, I fly away, but the second part is never so cursed as when I go astray. So that's the part that we need to do.

Yeah, that works for balloon too, because like people are cursing the balloon for flying away. Mm-hmm. Never so cursed. I love watching videos of gender reveals where they accidentally let the balloon go, and then they never find out the gender of their child. Because it's in the sky now.

Have you seen any of those? No. They look like a horrible tragedy had just happened. I love when they go to cut the cake and the cake floats away. That's really good too. The cake's a balloon that pops, and just cake goes everywhere.

I love that. For them, I love that for them. I would never want it for myself, but I love it for them. I would never want it for myself. But I love it for them. I don't love that for me. I will support their right to do it. I'll go to war to ensure they're right to do it. Mm-hmm.

When set loose, I fly away never so cursed as when I go astray. So when this goes astray, it's a very bad situation. Of airplane. And is it something like an arrow or a dart? Like that hits somebody in the bar and then they turn around and it's the biggest guy in the bar and he goes, whose dart was this? And I go, oh God, I hope you love improv.

And he goes, I do. And I go, devil's daughter has a show Tuesday night, 10 o'clock. You haven't been a devil's daughter in. This is an older story. 10 o'clock on a Tuesday. I go, it's a really good show. And he goes, you got one chance to impress me.

And then we do, I will say a mediocre show. But guess what? This guy doesn't know shit. He's fucking floored by it. He loves it. He has the time of his life. Anyways, the answer above a tee. Was this the devil's daughter show

that you did a solo scene where you started it by saying nobody at the meeting knows I shit my pants I couldn't it that's how I started this a podcast I'm gonna see where I shit my pants and that's how I met Andre the normal-sized man It's an airplane. Is it a hot air balloon? Is it a mode of transportation in the sky? I would say hot air balloons to closest, but just due to heat and um... Oh, okay, so a zeppelin or a dirigible. Lava. Uh, no. So this is a bit of a tough one for...

Dude, it's riddled. My queen, I apologize. Lava would be a good because people curse that lava when it goes astray and it's fucking pump-hey, all over the house. Lava would be a good because people curse that lava when it goes astray and it's fucking pump hate all over the house. Lava would be a good. But still was the band I saw when I went to SNL. And I haven't heard of them since. I have a thing that you should know. If I don't like the answer to this riddle, it's off with your head.

Let's move on to another riddle. Uh oh. Oh. Okay. I'll give you one more hint for this one. One more hint please. One set, one set loose, I fly away. So each individual person is able to set this loose.

Sometimes it's controlled, sometimes it's not. Fart. It's a fart. Each individual person is able to fart. Can I tell you a quick fart story? Mm-hmm. Today I was putting a table together and I had just had some pizza for lunch and I farted. And where I said, I think spaghetti's sick.

And I said, no, no, no, that's just a normal fart from a human man. So when you said you're putting a table together, does that mean like you took off its glasses and replaced its overalls with like a nice dress and then took it to prom? Yeah, the crazy thing about this table, it was beautiful the whole time and didn't know it about itself. But did it find out that you placed the bed on it? I didn't place the bed. Yes, I did. Matthew, you were placed the bed on it? I didn't place the bed. Yes, I did.

Matthew ordered the bed. Yeah. Okay, JBC, the queen says you are not allowed to fart for one month as punishment. Okay, that would be way too long to fart. At most, I can get like six seconds. No, you cannot fart not one time for a month. Don't worry, I got you.

Nope. I got you. Off with his head. Lop. Don't worry. I got you. Nope. I got you off with his head Wop. Oh, okay My green would talk to you or another riddle was it actually fart? It was Addle yes Wow, we bet to lose his head homeboy about to lose his head get out wait to watch this man lose his head Clap for this man who's about to lose his head.

I'm sorry to this man. I guess sorry to this man. Sorry to this man. That might be my favorite internet thing of all time. Sorry to this man is pretty far. OK, so what am I going to do to you? OK, not today. Yes.

Not next week, but sometime before the year is over. During a recording, I'm going to say to you, I want Duncan Donuts. And you're going to have to send me an iced coffee to my home via Uber Eats or whatever food delivery service of your choice. Yes, my queen. Okay. Okay. And you have to guess what flavor I want.

It if it's wrong. You have to give me your house. Boss give me my house. Boston. Yeah. Oh my god. Would you like another riddle? That's rough. Adelaide's rough for you, but guess what? You shouldn't have made the answer fart. You should have made it just balloon or whatever. You should have just said yes what I said balloon. That's that opportunity. Case it cut everything balloon. Oh, that's that opportunity. Casey cut everything out. No, we need this time. Here's another riddle for Mike. What wears a jacket but no pants.

Mr. Potato head. Poo bear. Yeah, it is. It's poo bear. Me when I'm walking my dog. Me when I'm walking my dog. Me when I'm walking my dog. Was Tom Cruise in Risky Business wearing a jacket or is it just a white shirt?

White buttoned down shirt, socks. Mm-hmm. And a smile. And a smile. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. Isn't there another character that wears a jacket with no pants? Donald Duck. Donald Duck.

The band cake. That made me think of a short skirt. That's not pants. Uh, uh, Bridget Jones Diary, the end of it when she's runs outside and she's wearing to Sundoware in her. Do you know I'm talking about at the end of Bridget Jones Diary? No. Oh, the end of that movie Colin

My god, it's either Firth or Hanks Yeah, which one's Colin Farrell. Yes, it's Colin Firth in Orange County on the table and Come on guys don't mess with me. I'm I said come on guys Colin Hanks was in phone booth I said come on guys. Colin Hanks was in phone booth. Please don't. He also lived here devil.

He reads her diary. He comes to go in her back and then her diary is open on the table. He reads all the bad things. She said about him and then she comes out of the bathroom. She's like, oh no, he read my diary. He thinks that I don't love him. I'm in love with him. And so she doesn't have pants on.

She runs outside in the snow And he had just gone to buy her a new diary to turn an over a new leaf in their relationship But she's wearing she's pantless and so he like wraps her up in his coat It's good. It's a very good ending to a romcom. I'm not explaining it well But I am the queen so I will not apologize applause applause And then that way that you've got male ends wait wait So he was your diary and is that is that kind of hinting at a sequel like Bridgerton's diary to 100% a new diary Yes, and so the end of you got male

Tom Hanks knows that there they've been emailing each other But and then they were enemies in real life and beg Ryan doesn't know that they were emailing each other And so he just starts hanging out with her in real life to win her trust over in real life. And Meg Ryan doesn't know that they were emailing each other. And so he just started hanging out with her in real life to win her trust over in real life. And then so she's starting to fall in love with him online and in real life. And at the end, she goes to meet up with the guy online, but she's like, I don't even know if I wanna meet this guy

in line because I'm in love with Tom Hanks. And then Tom Hanks goes to the park and meets her because it was him the whole time. And then she sees him and somewhere over the rainbow starts playing. And she goes, I was hoping that it would be you and then everyone cries and then there's a golden retriever there.

Speaking of Tom Hanks, isn't it so weird that his son is the 58 year old British man? Mama Mia, here we go again. Aaron, how does Kulisend? Kulisends with Paul Rudd and, uh, it's Paul Rudd. No, please, I wish it was overstone kissing on stairs. And then it,

smash cuts to a wedding and she's like, as if like we're way too young to get married. What do you think this is? Alabama and it's her teacher's wedding of the teacher that she set up with another teacher or something like that. I don't know. It's been like 10 years. I've since I've seen Kueless. Give me another one. Isn't that legally blonde? Isn't that how legally blonde ends? Legally blonde ends.

It's her graduation day and at the song, perfect day is playing again. And then after her speech, she goes, we did it and then everyone's clapping and under everyone's picture, it shows what happened to everybody. So be like Paula and the delivery guy are in love. Ellie are Emmett or whatever's name is,

is proposing tonight her- Whoever owns most of the play in that movie. Yeah. It's the- It's the story of my brain today. I am wildly impressed by this skill set. Give me another one. Oh, sweet home Alabama.

Sweet home Alabama. Oh, I love it. First of all, have you watched it? That was your one-for-home work since last time. I did. Uh did it. Oh my god. Thank you. That means a lot to me actually I actually completed this assignment maybe 13 years ago. Oh, I thought you rewatch it. Come on The end of it is she leaves Patrick Dempsey who actually might have been a better fit for her And she goes to the beach and it's storming and her ex-husband who is like her childhood love is there. And she's like,

Play by. Don't know that guy's name. But it's, don't, he never Josh something. I don't know who knows. But he's putting, he's putting the sticks into the sand to,

so they get struck by lightning to turn them into glass. Oh, Berlin. Yeah, you owe me a dance. And he's like, are you back? And he goes, why do you want to be married to me anyhow? And she goes, so I can kiss you anytime I want. And then they go to a wedding reception when she was supposed to marry another guy that day.

But the movie's pretty good. Black Hawk Down. The helicopter crashes, I guess? Who cares? Next red hole. Can you believe they didn't cast Ethan Hawkes the helicopter that moving well he would have had to make some unfortunate acting choices Ethan hot oh that's what it is that's what is what wears a jacket but no pants this one still um a banana that is an excellent guess, my queen, but that is, um, I don't

want to say in so cultures, do they call it condom a jacket? They call it a Jimmy jacket. A Jimmy jacket. Okay. Freakishly fast. I use, I saw tiny little picoats to use instead of condoms. Yes, yes. Oh, bother. Yeah. What are you minding this p-coat on your jident, Halia? Oh, a jacket with no pants. I think that they isn't a bullet encased in a jacket. Oh, that's a really bad jacket.

Aaron has full metal jacket in. The gun finds its coat or whatever. I don know all this movies are the same the gun finds its coat yeah so it's like a same guy like Ryan yeah but yeah the guns the main character sure man romanticize going off to war. I don't know. What words are jacket with no pants? I'll give you a hint. My house is full of it. Oh, Daddy Longwigs. Now, Adam, tell me about the sweater sweaters. You're a bit cute. Uncomfortable silence.

Passive aggressive energy. Let's keep going. Smoke. This sucks. This sucks. Boxes of books you'll never read. What? Oh, box.

Box. Yeah. What was the jacket with no pants? It is a book. My queen, Adel, if we kept burning you, eventually, we were going to get the right answer. My queen, we're at about 30 minutes. Would you like to take a break or would you like to do something else? Yes, I'd like to take a break and I'd like you to transition us into the break, please.

And Aaron, I have a really important question for you when we get back from the break. Okay. Kasey, place some old medieval trumpets right here. The queen has deemed that we take a break. Hold on to your assholes. We'll be right here. The queen has deemed that we take a break. Hold on to your assholes. We'll be right back. I thought that was gonna rhyme. I tried.

You're a great, great, great woman. Hey, GPC. Uh, uh, yeah? Hey GPC. Yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm I'm I'm I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all spaces to all in one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out It's a seat online whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website it gauge with your audience And so anything for products to cut into time all in one place all on your terms Hey, Otto come here come here. Hey, Otto, come here.

Come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Um wait what's

going on with that? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just sending up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna use an opportunity. And I'm gonna use analytics, use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website, the prank site. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron.

I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. The website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. The website was for. Frank. The square space. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website.

Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com, slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase

of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey Adel and JPC, thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an empaths. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods woods isn't it funny to think about something like that i can't there never truly is a middle no this is the middle okay this is it i don't can you help actually so as per robber frost i don't know if you know his pomex he has a poem called better help i believe this is written in the 1800s but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help.

Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices, and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career, relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, Therapy helps you stay connected to what you owl, owl. Sorry, that also does so fast.

Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Mm, and better help is entirely online. So it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years and it suits the way that my brain works, way better than traditional therapy ever did.

And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods. Isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge.

Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help h-e-l-p dot com slash riddle r-i-d-d l-e r-i-d-d l-e the middle of riddles of d but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the

the home i am home ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Who are we? What is this? What is this? I, clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday, and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite,

my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Bunny. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Huh? Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions. Oh, yeah, Aaron. That's one of my favorite things as well. Uh-huh. Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially around tax season.

Kling, kling, kling, kling, kling. I'm sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket Bunny, well quickly, and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy, clink, clink. It also categorizes your expenses. So you can easily track your budget in real time

and also get alerted if anything looks off over three million, clink, clink, clink, clink. Over three million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rocks. Stop, stop, clink, clink, clink. No, clink, clink, clink, stop.

Throwing your money away, cancel unwirted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That going to rocket money dot com slash riddle that's rocket money dot com slash riddle rocket money dot com slash riddle and tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website. I love you rocket money. I think before the break I told you that I have a very important

question that I wanted to ask you when we came back. And my question is this, how could I worship you, my queen? Oh my God. Oh my God. Am I crazier? Have you said that to me on the show before? I said that to you on International Women's Day. Last year. That sucks that rules. International women's Day is when most all women are supposed to dress up like awesome powers. That is so fucking funny.

What's wild about that day is that that's the day we're all women fancy a shag. I'm saying, hey. Oh, brother. We're out now. No, I'm feeling really good about being queen. I'm starting to worry like how I'm going to feel after the episode ends. Hmm, do you tell what you mean, queen? Are you worried about succession?

Yeah, I'm like, what am I gonna get? I get it like. It's coming back and I'll cover. It's coming back. You still have a couple of weeks before succession even come back. And don't forget Roy has drawn a line in the sand. Give a boy. I'm a tall of you.

Give a number one boy. I can't wait for my rewatch before it comes back. I think I have a crush on everyone on that show. Is that possible? No, I don't think so because you're supposed to hate everyone on that show. Is that possible? No, I don't think so because you're supposed to hate everyone on that show. Oh, not a big bad person. Especially cousin Greg, are you kidding?

Wow, even Tom. No, I know, that's what I mean. Tom first, Greg. Yeah. What is the one that you have? Shiv. Well, you want to make a Tom that you're gonna have to break some cracks.

Best line of the show. I would like a riddle. Of course, my queen, go off. When young, I am sweet in the sun. When middle aged, I make you gay. When old, I am valued more than ever. Bed midler. Bed midler. QG when old I am valued more than ever. What? Bet midler.

Bet midler. Come on to my hat, my house is on. Go on and get it. I mean, that should be the fucking answer. I bought a bet midler record at the Rose Bowl flea market and And I went, I'd like try to buy records that are less than like $5. I think it's more fun that way. And I thought it was in the $5 pile.

And so I went up to go buy it. And she was like $20. And I was like, I already, it's been mine in my head already for a couple of minutes. I'm not leaving it out this bet middle record. I was. Can you handle? You can handle, but I, at that point,

you said, what would a bet do in the situation? She would pay $20 for her. She would pay $20 for her own record. She's a best. Speaking of $20, anytime I go to Vegas and I play Crap's, I always bet midler. Okay, so is midler like a position on the Crap's board?

Yeah, I put my money in the middle of the table and they say, sir, that's nothing. And I say, well, we're all the dice. And then you go, no way, I mean, no way, I mean, no way. No way, I mean, no way, I mean, Eric McQueen, Eric McQueen, Eric McQueen. Eric McQueen, Eric McQueen. Can I pitch a scene?

You may. Okay, so I remember a bit Midler's song really quick before it drives me crazy. Sure. Yeah. She's saying, I wanted to remember the song that she sang with Barry Manelow, because what a duo. Oh, yeah. They do a duet of, I'm gonna get you on a slow boat to China

All to myself alone, get you and keep you I'm hearing the lyrics and they're creepy This is a romantic song about taking a very slow boat to China Yeah, most romantic songs start with, I'm gonna get you Most romantic songs are like, we're gonna take a trip over open water for three weeks. Romance. Bite the curb, bite the curb, stop, stop. I would like to see a scene, Adel,

you are going to be like a big, I think they call it a whale. A person who's like a big spender in a casino, right? Except you have no idea how to gamble. And Aaron, you are gonna be like his, you work for the casino, you're his handler, and you're gonna be like taking him around the casino to help him, to help him do his big bets. Oh, let's hit the floor here.

Wow, it's so nice to be in from the general area of Russia. Of course, Mr. Cross, right from the general area of Russia. Of course, Mr. Cross, right this way. Follow me here. What did you call me? Mr. Cross? Oh, very good, very good. Yeah, that is the student name they gave me for you. I know that you don't want us to use your actual name.

Yeah, I prefer my name not to use, which is why I've given you the student name, and my hotel is booked under David Cross. Excellent, yes, sir. Well, here is our high road out group. Oh, can you lower it? I can't reach the table. No, sir, that's just meaning the expensive big bucks. Well, that doesn't stop me from not being able to reach the table. I don't know what to tell you. Can you lift me up? Yeah, but I'm going to you a little booster seat here.

And here you go. Uh, sorry, uh, Blackjack dealer. He will deal you in. Okay. And his name is Jack. Uh, my name is Evan. Uh, it's nice to meet you. Um, I miss, do you like to, which is like, to put, place a bet, sir? I'll take two. And the minimum benefit of this table is 200. okay, and then do I pick a card any card You'll get two cards. I in fact here are the two adults you now sir

I don't want these if this is not a magic show. This is gambling can it be Sir the magic show is on the second floor. I can take you up there now wait He just made my money disappear, so this is a magic show. Please. He took your money, you can win it back if you get 21. Or close to it. Okay, let me, I'm trying to reverse my age. Oh, I shouldn't hit five fans, I did a three.

Uh, that's not it, you know what, sir? Have the 200 back, and enjoy a staked dinner at Cobbs. Cobbs? Have the 200 back and enjoy a steak dinner at cops Cops Cops I go to for corn Well enjoy corn dinner sticks then sorry either way these are too meal-vac I'm gonna hit them really hard in the head to see if that fixes anything But yet oh oh Melissa we weren't we're not supposed to do that anymore. Oh shoot. Oh where am I? Where where am I mr., where? Where am I?

Mr. Cross here in the casino, you are about to put down a $1,000 bet. OK, here's the $1,000. What am I betting on? It's Blackjack. OK, let's see. OK, you have 21. OK, dealer, it's not a two-way. That's right.

Dealer busts. OK, no, you, you want, sir you here here are your winnings a Congratulations. Oh wow now I have an extra thousand. Let me hit him in the air. Yeah. I'd like to play roulette put me on the wheel. They'll they'll balance them out eventually they'll keep hitting me on the head. That's a head injuries work. They balance out. As per little bunny foo foo,

you bomp those field mice on the head. They're not gonna be right. Is that the plot of that? Oh yeah. Yeah, I forgot that song has a plot. Mm-hmm. Speaking of plot, when young, I am sweet in the sun. When middle aged, I make you gay.

When old, I am valued more than ever. I know what it is. I know what it is. I'm my queen, my queen. It's a grape. Uh, yes, but a little more specific. It's wine. It is wine. It is wine

When young I am treating the sun when middle aged I make you gay when old I'm Valued more than ever the clean would like to see a scene. Yes JPC you are a grape okay, and Adel you are the grapes grandfather who is wine? I'm sorry Aaron is you my he my grape grandfather or just my grandfather? Just do the fun. Do the genealogy for me. It's just great. Grapey father. And then my grape grandfather. Wait, I have a grandson. I thought I was seedless. That's what the doctor's doing. Oh my God. They're a comedian.

Okay, right. Great in my in my great grandfather, gotcha. Have a seat over here, young lad. It's rolled your way over here. Do we have to grandpa? We maybe not sit in the sun. I feel like the sun is like, it's like really, can we sit maybe in the shade? No, you must sit in the sun because soon,

you shall be like me. Well, hold on. If you sit in the sun too much, you could become a raisin. But if you soak it up just a little bit, lap it up. You can become a tenons and you can become squashed and be a wine just like me, your old valuable grandpa. Grandpa, can I be honest with you? No. I mean, I see your life and I see all that you have

and your wine and you're so sophisticated and, and I'm 20, I'm 28% proof. I love that and the proof is in the pudding, but I just don't know if it's the life for me. Like, I'm young, I'm single, I want a date, you know? No, no, no, dates, dates are no good. I mean, they're tasty, but they're very sugary. Now, wine is more complex, do you see,

and dates have pits. No, but I want to date, I want to experience life, I want to be a pair. Ah, you want to be an o' pair? That's basically babysitting. That's fancy babysitting. Let's call it what it is. No, Grandpa, you're not listening to me.

I want to experience the world. I want to meet someone, and I want to eat their apple. Ugh, I'm getting notes of... I want to be... I'm reminding me... I'm getting notes of... Flip them around. In maturity, I'm getting notes of their absence. You are what?

Let me get in your grandma Shardinay Shardinay. Yes, orange you glad. I'm not gonna make a fruit joke Drunk We're both drunk Yo, Greg. I'm sorry. We're both drunk. Okay, then why don't you... Why don't dance with me? Well, I'm drunk in terms of people drink me,

but you are sloshed, my dear. Our grandson... I've been drinking myself, because no one else around here will drink me. You took out one of your ribs to drink yourself. I thought that was a rumor Oh, there's a straw I'm drinking myself from a straw Great pop great pop can I talk to you over here for a second? Yes, man go You don't like it here man go man go You're listen I told your papaya that I would yeah, I would take care of you and told your papaya that I would take care of you.

And when your papaya died, it was eaten. I promised that I would look after you because I am passionate for you. Okay? Banana. Okay, what just happened was we each had two guns and we were pointing them at each other and everyone was darting their eyes to each other too. We all went, who's going to say a fruit? Who's going to say a fruit next to the JPC?

He did it. So it's called a fruit stand stand off. Mexicans fruit stand. It came out of me like a sneeze that I never wanted to leave. Okay, I'm ready. I'm ready for another riddle. I have four legs but no tail. Usually I am heard only at night. When am I? Night table. Night stand. GPC, you're all about the tables, you dirty dog. Well the tables have turned. Me, oh. I have hot for tables.

That's the song. D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D Okay, okay, okay, read it again. Yes, Mike, we I have four legs, but no tail. Usually I am heard only at night. What am I? Cat with a cliptail cats are no turtle. Those little fucking things they go, they go hard at night. I mean, I will say cats sleep my cat sleep like 22 hours a day. They do tend to be up at night and do, they get what we call the zoomies, which is where they just scramble all around

and act like insane things. It is not a cat. Four legs, no tail. It's not an animal, right? Uh, I wouldn't say that. My queen. It's, so it's, something with four legs in no tail that's like up all night.

I'm trying to think, what are the nocturnal animals that I know? Is it really an animal? It is. Hmm. I have four legs but no tail. Usually I am heard only at night, what am I? Possums are nocturnal, but they have tails.

Raccoons, I think are nocturnal, but they have tails. A human who's crawling. Well, when they, if they escape, they'll have a tail to tell. Yeah, is it a wake up baby? Maybe we could. Is it a baby? A baby who is a reverse sleep cycling or whatever it's all. Okay, Mike, when can I ask for a scene?

Yes, you may. JPC, I would like to see a commercial for the, JPC and Aaron, I would like to see a commercial from the two of you for the new toy that never made it to shells because it was such a terrible idea called Wake Up Baby. And this is a toy baby that all it does is wake up screaming and crying. Jesus Christ is your turn.

It's your turn. Get up. Get. No. Up. Get up. Fire. I am not.

Get up. Please. I'm exhausted. I got up Sunday. I got up Saturday. I got up Friday. I give up my whole fucking weekend getting up. It is not my turn. I got up Sunday. I got up Saturday. I got up Friday. I give up my whole fucking weekend getting up It is not my turn. I got up last

I got up the time before that and I got up the time before that wake up please If I get up it's gonna be that throw that fucking thing out the wind it might drive you crazy It's wake up baby wake up baby needs actual food. Wicked baby cannot be turned off Wicked baby will kill you in a sleep if you don't wake it up wake it up wake it up wake it up baby wake up baby needs actual food wake up baby cannot be turned off wake up baby We'll kill you to sleep if you don't wake it up wake it up wake it up wake it up wake up baby. I Did you yours? That's definitely mark those are two children talking in case it wasn't clear That was the brother and sister Who got that doll for Christmas?

Tuzzi, oh it fucks you up if you can't sleep. Too much responsibility way too young. Oh yeah. I have four legs but no tail. I am usually heard only at night. So this is a creature. Think of, like, mating calls you might hear at night. Maybe near the water.

Nobody does mating calls anymore. Now it's all just textual. Turtles, screams. It's like... You up. Okay, my I please go? Yes, please. Shredder!

I think it worked. Okay. Yeah. Okay, okay. Okay, okay. So this is... Is something that lives in the water? Ish.

I'm sorry, did you say fish? Fish. I'll give you a hint. Fish? I'll give you a hint. Fish? I'll give you a hint. If you saw this thing in the morning around breakfast time, you'd want to smack it across the face. Oh, a rooster.

Okay, got to let that one go. You can't dead stop a queen. No, I I am. You can't dead stop a queen. No, I can't. You can't dead stop a queen. Now I can say, any weird old thing I want, no one can do shit about it. A rabbit, a two-can, a monkey, a leprechaun. A tiger.

What else, what else is on a breakfast box? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, thinking of the wrong cereal? Smacks. Frog. Yeah, a frog. It's a frog, right? Smacks the frog? Smacks is a frog, yes. Yes, the answer is a. No, it's a frog. No, it's a frog. No, it's a frog.

Aaron, you don't remember Smacks the frog? No, I'm doing it now. I'd like to request a scene, my queen. Yes. I'd like to see a scene. JPC is smacks the frog showing up in a commercial first Smacks or honey smacks whatever it's called air in your child eating smack cereal

But you had no idea it had a mascot and you are terrified and So much like JPC Yeah, it really does backwards hat His shirt says dig him Oh my god, I got gotta get you that shirt. I have these for Chris's. Okay, so I'm smacks the frog. You're smacks the frog.

Yeah, Aaron's playing basically a younger version of herself who has no idea about this mascot. And she's digging into a bowl of smacks and the mascot appears as they usually do in commercials. But this has a bit more of a horrifying turn. Hello. they usually do in commercials, but this has a bit more of a horrifying turn. Hello? What does that, that makes the frog? No, he! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Hey, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, fucking scream. Oh my god. Yeah, okay, my mom's person is over here. Frogs? Frogs have very sensitive eardrums Okay, you think you drew out a fucking eardrum and Jesus Christ Book in our bookshelves out money in it You can get that money into the bits that you need Dig them in a backwards hat. What do I need money for okay?

Waddle Waddle Waddle Waddle's bangs look frog. frog are you enjoying your smash cereal? I thought that this Work or I thought that these were cornflakes does it smacks you with lips honey is everything okay down there? It's fine mum. Oh my god. You can Can you tell your mom about me? You're gonna find out whether they call me smacks You can tell me about me. You're gonna find out where they call me, Smex. You know that I'm your wife! If you fucking say anything about,

Waddle Waddle Waddle Waddle Smex, they're proud. Are you enjoying your hunting Smex, Serial? I'm friends with Tony the Tiger and I can get him down here in two seconds. I can call Tony the Tiger's parole officer and have Tony the Tiger and jail for life. You wouldn't.

I would. I would. You're a monster. I swear the trick's rap is fucking neck. Oh, you did. I could. Hey, are you enjoying your honey smack cereal? It's delicious. I love it. You're gonna sell it.

You gotta make me believe you love this cereal. I really thought I'd buy it. If you ever wanna see your mom and dad again, you gotta make me believe you like honey smack cereal. Please don't hurt them. I really thought I'd grab the corn flakes from the shelf. Why did my mom buy these? Don't blame your mom, she's a nice lady. In fact, after your dad's out of the picture, maybe smacks the frog and your mom go to a ruba. I try to real nice. Don't make my mom fall in love with you. Don't make my mom's choice. Smacks your mom.'t fuck my mom. Please, smack the frog.

Don't make my mom fall in love with you. Don't make my mom fall in love with my mom. That's your mom's choice. Smacks the frog is a total bystander in his life and he takes no accountability for his actions. Your mom falls in love with Smacks the frog. We're gonna find out why that can't make all meat smacks the frog.

And it's because I smacks the ass. What does that mean? Did someone need help? Wait, wait, wait, wait, oh, this is not great. I'm smacks the frog. I got a gun and I had it in every box. I'm crazy. These boxes teleport me and I fuck everybody's bugs.

That's what I do. Honey did I hear a noise? No, mom we're doing great. Who's we? Me and smacks the frog. Okay Do you want me to buy more? I want you to leave Rick Amazing I think the line of dialogue that perfectly sums up the show is smacks the frog. Please don't fuck my mom. I think that perfectly encapsulates the energy of the show. Is it what listeners are in store for? Is it sugar smacks? Was that the name of the cereal? I thought it was just smacks, but then as you thought about this cereal like I was like

10 years. Yeah, I was like maybe it's honey smell. Maybe it's one of your. It can't possibly still exist. I think it does. Okay, I guess so. And I think they they've tried to update smacks to where he looks very hip and cool versus terrifying. Honey smacks. Honey smacks the digum frog actually. Mike, we and I think we have time for one more riddle. Is that all right with you? Read me the riddle. At the sound of me, men may dream or stamp their feet. At the sound of me, women may laugh or sometimes weep. What am I? A music. It is a music. One singular music. Aaron, you're correct, Mike, wein. Is that true? It was music. It was music Aaron you're correct my queen Is it was music it was music wow you know how when music plays men typically stamp their feet and then women cry Yeah, that's the stereotype then get to dance and women get to cry

Hey, stop in your feet dancing. I assume I'm only queen for a couple more minutes So I would like to put a lot in place Okay, I want you like to put a law in place. Oh, of course. I want you both to Google me right now, and tell me something excellent that you find about me. Okay, okay. This is gonna be a real exercise in spelling your name correctly.

Let's see. Aaron Keith, okay, let's see. Now, boy, something interesting, something interesting about Aaron Keef from a Google. I'm gonna have to go to the page two because page one on Google is pretty pedestrian. I think we all know about that. And I'm gonna talk more about Smax the Frog.

They couldn't find anything about me, so. No, Aaron, I did. It took me a while, but I googled something about you, and I did find your Pinterest board. No, no, no, no, no, Bale. So Aaron, Bale. What's funny about this? This is this is maybe this is funny fun new information for our listeners. Your Pinterest board appears to be a series of outfits that you could never pull off. Okay, that was worth it. I need that. Okay. Well hold on, I'm not done with your Pinterest board. No, please. We've got a few boards. We've got we've got one that's One called wedding Aaron this one's from nine years Okay, okay if you were ever on Pinterest around 2010 you know that we were all 20 and we're making wedding Pinterest boards. I

Know I have found a Pinterest board from nine years ago, from Aaron Keith. Oh. This was a mistake. It's called my style, and there are 12 pictures. No. And I, okay, Aaron, this is 10 years ago. No.

Let's just go through the real quick and see if any of them are your style. We've got bangs. Ooh, nope. 11 kinds of bangs and ways to rock them. Wow, Aaron. Oh, no. If you're the tragic part, I certainly don't have the log

into this anymore. JPC, I can't scrub it from the internet. Aaron, we've got one that just says Ray Bay and Sunglasses. We've got one that says, it's from Dormify. It says, popular high heels. What else do we have? What else do we have? Here's a wedding outfit. It's a

curated and refined wedding outfit from the vault. We've got another one that says, this is from, you just have Asos pinned here. Here's another one. It's from the Daily Mail and it says Harry Potter fans can have a magical dot dot dot. So it's a, it looks like you, a ways that you could experience a Hogwarts Christmas feast from the comfort of your own house. This is an actual disaster. I've never seen something backfire so quickly.

This is really really bad stuff. Aaron, and then there's one more with an item that you like, Aaron, and guess what? It's unavailable on Etsy. you like, Aaron, and guess what? It's unavailable on Etsy. So nine years ago, you wanted a Christmas sweater that you have now missed out on. Adel, please tell me what you found. Uh, I had a bit of a tough time, but I did find, but I'm not going to go all the way through

it. I did find the full text of the Hingham High School yearbook. Oh my God. But I couldn't find time to search your name. But I will say, Aaron, I now know that you went to high school with Christopher Johnson, Rachel Coleman, Kelsey Keith, and William Kenyon. Ring any bells?

Yeah, the only one of those people I've seen since I graduated high school. I hope they're all doing very well. I remember them all being very kind people. I do the Aaron and they're not. Oh no! Yeah, I love that. Healthy Keith was very nice. She lived in my neighborhood and was very cool. And we were, our lockers were next to each other forever because our names are very similar. Who, do you know a Kristen Keef? No, I don't. Because there's a there's an article from the doorchester reporter. Can you say that in a Boston accent? Doorchester reporter. That was fun.

Why does the Boston Harbor thanks to the doorchester yacht, Kristen Keefe? I guess she's more on the internet than me. Is that what you're saying? Her Pinterest is probably embarrassing too. Here's one called products I love Aaron. It's four pins from nine years ago. One of them is a Harry Potter martini class. Oh my god One of them is a snow globe and a Mason jar. No Then one of them is just it appears to be a bunch of different types of blush. Okay, so this is complete 2011 nonsense and I'd like to apologize that it's not who I am anymore. Oh, and Aaron, you also just have a picture of a mint jewel up.

No. You have a picture of a mint jewel up under product title. Oh, anything to plug, please, Adel, please. We still have time. We still have plenty of time. No, we don't. We have no time. No, no, no, we actually do.

Oh, Aaron, you love a lot of green throw pillows. Oh, God. Green is your color back then, huh? Adel, please. I have a few things to plug. The number one thing I have to plug is, hello for the Magic Tavern. It has a new Patreon.

We launched a Patreon. We're very excited to have this Patreon. You can join for five dollars at patreon.com slash Magic Tavern. We're very excited for all of our bonus content. We're gonna be putting up there and all kinds of other stuff. So check that out, see if it's a right fit for you. And if so, we'd love to have you join

and be on the Discord and all that stuff. Also, I was on some podcasts recently. My cabbages podcast talking about Avatar. Have you heard about this podcast? We were all on Root Tales of Magic recently. I was on Better Movie Club. And I think, and I think that might be it. My Queen, anything that you would like to plug?

Follow me here and keep 10 on Instagram and JPC, anything to plug. You can find me on yesterday's episode of Improv is Dead with my best friend and former roommate, Tim Lyons, his best friend and no roommate relation, Dan White, and Chicago's best friend, Damien and Ia. It was a super fun episode of record, and you should check it out, you can find anywhere

podcasts are found, improv is dead. Yeah, so I guess I'm pretty much off of social media, except I do have a Pinterest account. It's at Aaron Keith. Don't do this, I can't delete it, I don't have the log in. Very simple, so I don't have the login to it. There's some pretty good stuff on here. One of my favorite things that I have on my,

again, this is mine. Adelaide, I think the terrible thing. My picture. You're the queen of this episode, you can stop this. Jupiter, oh yeah, Jupiter. At Aaron Keefe, it's a, something's wrong with my queen, I don't know what's happening, but.

The category is just retro ads, and there's a smear enough ad with Woody Allen feature over nine years ago that doesn't age well like we and I think I know it's wrong say say it again Jupiter by forever up with his head. Hey there best and dressed, if you like that you are going to love this week's Patreon. We flip open a high school yearbook and we do scenes about superlatives. You can listen to that plus our entire Batcadilog by going to patreon.com such hey riddle riddle and joining the clue crew for $5 a month or the review crew for $8 a month. See you there!