Hey Riddle Riddle - #170: Erin Goes to a Haunted House

Episode Date: October 20, 2021

Look, we are going to do riddles on this episode. Of course we will. It's a riddle podcast. But really we are just here to hear about Erin's Haunted House experience. That's October for you. All that and we introduce the costume of the season, a professional trying to close a deal, a newspaper column that's just a little off, and a new neighbor with bad behavior. It's the spookiest month of the year and this episode is extra haunted!  Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. I'm a little more stupid right here. I'm a little more stupid right here. I'm a little more stupid right here. I'm a little more stupid right here. I'm a little more stupid right here. I'm a little more stupid right here. I'm a little more stupid right here. I'm a little more stupid right here. I'm a little more stupid right here. I'm a little more stupid right here.

Anyway, so I go out there and I don't know. I got 14 or 15 of these little fuckers are looking at me. Like this guy. Just staring at me. Staring daggers at me like this guy. This guy thinks that he can be the neighborhood block chubby bunny champion. And I say, yeah, I think I fucking can because I got a big adult mouth

and all you little kids have little tiny kid mouths and I'm gonna clean the fucking floor with you. And average age of these little fuckers. I mean, these guys couldn't, I would say 17 to 20. Okay, okay. Anyway, so, so they start shoving the marshmallows in my mouth. Marshmallows in my mouth. Oh, sorry.

They're shoving them in your mouth. Yeah, they're holding me down. They're kicking the shit out of me. They're shoving the marshmallows in my mouth. No further questions. And I say, come on, that's all you got. I've had to chop your buddies that this. Okay, And I say, come on, that's all you got. I've had a chunk of your buddies that this.

Okay, but JBC, I'm so sorry to interrupt you again, but like, I just am having a hard time understanding that this is your proposal story. We're gonna get to that eventually, right? We're gonna get to that, yeah. Okay, so, okay. So, these were Mariah's cousins. Okay.

I didn't know at the time, I didn't know that. So anyway, I gotta get to the airport, right? I got my playlists in 45 minutes. Sure. And they're stomping the shit out of me, they're crushing my fingers, they're kicking me, they're punching me, and they're pushing these marshmallows in my house.

And they're in my house? Wow. This is happening in my house. This is, I don't know, this is maybe two, three in the morning. They broke in the windows, they've entered my house, they got the marshmallows. And I got maybe 20 in my mouth

And they put the 21 in and I go, Chunky by me Wow, so 21 marshmallows in your mouth made you add an M to chunky So I could have said chubby bunny, but I thought the way that the guy had explained to me at the store The game was called chunky mummy Okay, and again, I am so sorry to be interrupting you again. We are two hours into this story Sure, I don't see your proposal in sight Oh my god, this is a story about how I watched the movie the proposal. Oh

You are such a waste of time Okay, then why do you need to catch a plane? Okay. Hey, what a, I'm not going to watch the movie at home. I, I will go down on this hill. That's not the way that you say that. The movie that the movie, the proposal is a movie best watched on a plane. I agree. Listeners, if you don't know this already, I've traveled with JPC before.

What he does is he'll buy airline tickets simply to access their library of TV shows and movies. Yeah, because I only want to watch one episode of the TV show. Yeah, he wants to watch three episodes from mid series, how I met your mother and nothing else. Huh. I watched one episode of a psych on that plane,

and I said, I'll go down on this hill. Ha, ha, ha, ha. That's what Tim McGrosson. I can't remember who Faith Hill married. I just watched a video of Tim McGross talking about his proposal story. That's a fun little circle. Wow, did he marry Faith Hill? He did.

That's a fun circle back. That's a fun circle back to a video Aaron watched. I'm blown away that that this is Because I haven't said the name Tim McGraw since maybe I want to say 98 What I'm shocked that Aaron watched that today and to I'm shocked that I remembered he was the one I don't think they're married any longer maybe they are they are wow love it made me teary-eyed It was such a beautiful story. I think he loves her very much. Oh wait, is this where hold on? Is this where Tim McGraw proposed by 17 to 20 of Faith Hill's cousins shoved marshmallows in this mouth and stomped them? So you've heard it. Okay, Tim McGraw

and Faith Hill or Trisha Yearwood and Garth Brooks. Who's the power country couple? Here's the world country couple. Here's the wild thing. One from each, Faith Hill and Trisha Eurich. Trisha Eurich. You're all wrong, it's me and a cowboy hat. True love. This is the podcast, Hey Riddle Riddle, it's a podcast about riddles, but also features improvisation,

scenes, songs, games. I think that's comedy sports. Can you have any funny hits? Can we have a slight little sheen to this episode where maybe it's a little more country. Okay. Okay, even if it's just for a little squidge. Do we want to add a little more sheen to this episode? Winning.

No Charlie. No more sheen. I of course am JPC And that's it Hey, get off you know your high horse. I'm out of a fire Of course Aaron cave and that's it That's everyone. I've never felt more frightened than saying my name first to the just a wall of silence Can I tell you guys a story from a yes, please?

So I'm here's a story about how I am very brave Okay, oh, I knew story please I don't like this Anything else okay my friend Cody turned 30 and he said, I wanna do something for my birthday. We're gonna go, he loves spooky things. That's his whole thing. He loves spooky things.

I do not like when things are scary, okay? Sure, for our love Cody. Yeah, he's great. You would have been a great buddy for this. He says, I wanna go to the spooky cocktail hour where you pay money and it's like a spooky place. And I was like, um, haunted houses famously one of my biggest fears.

I can't do them. I'm scared. But I looked at the website and I was like, this sort of, he put it, it sort of looked like it was going to be like a fog machine and a lava lamp and a bar. That was the vibe I got. He know haunted. You know haunted.

And so we get the tickets and then I'm like leading up to the event and I was like, I don't know, I have a feeling about this. It's me, my friend Cody and my friend Michael. And I waddle up to this like, it's like a huge mansion, okay. And I waddle up to a real mansion or like a huge house, like huge. Aaron, I implore you, I implore you to find some new words for walking because I've watched you walk It's way more graceful than a waddle You're being way too nice to me. It's way less graceful than a waddle somehow I saw in Denmark. I saw Aaron walked by a group of ducks and they went damn

And Denmark, I saw Aaron walk by a group of ducks and they went, damn! What the fuck? Aaron is what I was going to do. I was going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like,

I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like,

I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, a sheet of paper. Oh no. And that is a huge red flag, okay? Not a waiver, a sheet of paper? Yeah, it's a waiver. But I'm then I go, no, if this had just a lava lamp and a fog machine, I wouldn't be

having to sign shit. And I just know that this is bad. And then I go, I can't bail now. It's this 30th birthday and it's just me and one other person, I can't abandon him. Yeah. And so I go, all right, you know what, I can't abandon him. Yeah. And when, so I go, all right, you know what, I can handle this. I'm very brave, these are just actors, and you have options of which way you go walk into the house.

And they go, let's do the basement first. Let's get the basement to over where? Oh, got it. Got it. And so I, you walk up to the door and there's this woman and she can't let's use battery operated candles. This is a long story. I'm so sorry. Air and flight. That is funny. For listeners, air and just got back from 1842.

She was time traveling. So she forgot the torch for all you. To you. And she says there's a man and he will murder you unless you say, take my light, not my life. So you have to say that to him when he appears to you, but this will be your only light source until then. And I go, oh, okay. And I walk in and it is pitch black, okay? But I can hear people screaming at something

in the distance in this terrifying, complete pitch-back black basement. And so I just dig my face into Cody's back and I have to go up and down stairs in this basement. And then people who kind of looked like death eaters keep jumping out from fucking nowhere. And then they, some of them don't want archandals. And I'm like, who is the man who's trying to kill us?

And so I get through it. Some of them don't want archandals and I'm like, who is the man who's trying to kill us? And so I get through it. Some of them don't want archandals. Some of them very much do. They're not saying anything but their vibe is very much that they want these candles. Some of them are gonna go. So you work there, so you work there. So I'm,

So far Aaron, you're describing my heaven. I hated it. So I'm such a fucking coward that I get through, I get to the end of it. I am having heart palpitations, I'm having a hard time. And I get through it, and I realize I still have my candle. And then the lady at the end is like, wait, why do you have your candle? Can I have that? No one has ever gotten through it. Like, you're not supposed to have that. And I realize it's because I'm such a coward that they left me alone. I was the most scared person to ever go through that basement

that they didn't bother with me. Uh, oh, oh, sweetie, sorry, no, let her pass. We call that Aaron, we call that the five foot piss melt rule. If I get within five feet of you at a haunted house and you stink of piss, I'm not supposed to come to it any closer. You're having a rough night. I know what you guys are thinking.

Was there nudity in this? Did I see nudity? I was thinking was it Agent Cody Banks? Yes. It wasn't it was. It wasn't it was. Okay, so nudity? Yes, Adel, I've been dying to talk to you.

It took everything in my soul to not call you immediately I wanted to call you the moment this was over are we talking dogs bonkers are cars here we talk it here. I don't know what any of those words mean You would actually love this part so think you get four free cocktails And you have like these little tickets on your thing free if you bought the tickets. Yeah, I know you would actually love this part. So you get four free cocktails, and you have these little tickets on your thing. Not free if you bought the tickets. Yeah, I know, but you get four cocktails included. And so there's this huge space,

and there's a man, a spooky man playing the accordion and singing, very spooky fun Halloween vibes. There's velvet curtains, there's people in terrifying costumes walking around. There's a plot to this. There's like rations and four kids have maybe been killed in the house. And I don't know. I can't follow the plot. And to make matters

worse, this girl who looks beautiful, she walks up to the microphone and is like, our human sacrifice is about to begin. Turn off your phones. Do not have your phone or we'll kick you out. And I was like, that is, uh-oh, why can't we have our phone? So, this man, they like start, all these people come out and they're stomping kind of on beat with these lanterns and I'm like, I have the giggles. I'm so sorry, I'm talking way too much. You can cut me off at any time. Can I just say, this is more than any riddle we've ever had.

This is the most interesting, amazing story I've ever heard. So please continue, and I don't care if this takes another 50 minutes. Okay, so they're stopping. And then they start to fake kill this guy, who is the one who's playing the accordion. He's got multiple role in this. They start like fake killing him. And then literally out of nowhere, again,

I can't follow the plot of this. No one really can. He is, they just take off his clothes and they put a mask on him and then they keep fake killing him and I was like, oh my, I'm scared. They start killing him, then they undress him, then they continue to kill him.

I, yes. So your confusion is our confusion because they like fake shot him and then they fake strangled him and then they fake stabbed him. Shot him is him. I've never seen a haunted house with guns That's that's a new one What I said because I went I've never you're supposed to do some old tiny scary thing Yeah, that's a lot. That's a while. Here's the thing

Adela you just glossed right over this. I've never seen a haunted house. Where I saw somebody's penis. I don't think that's ever been. I think that I saw it at a haunted house. I've seen Sleep No More and it has a lot of dungs. I will say, Aaron, so far, you're describing everything I love. A immersive theater, escape rooms,

spooky haunted houses and cocktails, and Weird Al Naked. This is everything I love. Exactly. Dude, Weird Al Naked. So I'm I love. Exactly, dude, Weird Al Naked. So I'm only taking two sips of each of these cocktails because I'm like, I need to have my wits about me. I'm not enjoying these at all. I do not want this.

And so I'm already going like after that basement experience, I'm gonna sit out from anything else. You guys, you go, and then they were like, don't be a coward, come with us. I was like fair. These are friends. Yeah, sort of. Yes, well of course. But then something very funny happens. So we're walking through the rooms. Oh, Aaron, I please keep going with this story, but we are over 10 minutes in. So I just have to say which mountain range is found inside an airport? Okay,

forget I said it. Don't worry about me saying that, just keep going. Just keep going. Don't think about that. Don't think, I can't see you thinking about it. No, don't think about it. The total run. The total run helps. Okay, so total run is the answer that Rennel was from Matt. Thank you, Matt.

Wait, was the total run really the answer? Yeah, I honestly thought that's gonna be really hard to get, but it is total run. I'm here to joke you. No, it's not, it's not joke. It's a chocolate's little mountain. It's got a little mountain on it, yeah, yeah talking about. Are you joking? No, it's not. It's got chocolate's little mountains. It's got a little mountain on it, yeah, yeah. Well, the chocolate's also sheep like mountains.

Okay, the chocolate's sheep by mountains and it has the mountain on the wrapper, uh-huh. And keep going. I, I, we can transition. I know, we just bought seven more minutes. I just bought seven more minutes. Keep going. Anyways, the first monster is this, like gingerbread

looking man who's covered in doll parts, baby parts, and he's in a nursery, and it's no thank you. But we're going through these rooms, and in the last room they say, in order to get out, someone has to tell a secret, a horrible secret of something that you've done in your life. And no one I'm with is saying anything. And I go like, and you guys know this,

and our listeners know this, I went one time when I was babysitting, the girl I was babysitting accidentally drank a beer. And that was a good enough secret. And then he gave me the token, and then the other people were here with laughed. So I got a laugh, so I was feeling pretty good.

Aaron, what would you have done? What would you have done if you had said that secret, and the person covered in baby dolls or whatever, like the super spooky person was like Did you take that from a podcast and you were like no and they're like I listened to the podcast name Hey Rital Rital You took that from Hey Rital Rital and you were like oh, I'm Aaron from Hey Rital Rital and they were like oh my god Such a big fan and then they we try to baby hand for you to shake. Yeah, but then I would go

I actually don't need you to listen to my show because they're very scary But we go to the other side and those three actors were great no notes. We go to the other side These motherfuckers had it out for me. I was so furious They kept they were like invading my personal space and I kept going sir You are very talented and I think you're doing such a good job and I totally get that you're good at this. I have had just, I know. Am I scared?

I said, I've had just about enough of this. Thank you so much. I think you're doing so great, save your energy. This can be a little rest for you, sir. But he kept doing that thing and then he slammed us away from each other And we're alone in these rooms and then the last person like was being super weird and didn't want us But anyways long story short we went outside. There was aerial bartenders I got a tarot card reading I was so brave and I've had nightmares every single night since okay

If you follow questions aerial bartenders the these are mermaids or they're on like... Aerial. Oh, go ho. That is... They were very talented. How do you not spill a drink if you're an aerial bartender? I spent money to go there. Didn't even leave with a buzz.

Was too scared to drink the drinks. They provided with me because I was so scared of that place. If you wanna go there in LA, message me an Instagram, I'll send you the Deats if that seems like your thing. Sorry, I just need to tell Adela. Just so you know, fear is one of the only things that burns alcohol out of the bloodstream. Oh, is that right?

Is that right? Like science. When I was drinking back in my drinking days, if I really needed to sober up very quickly, I would call a person from my past and confront a very fucked up thing that had happened to the two of us, something that I had blocked out of my memory completely,

and that would sober me up like that. That is the same with hiccups. You know when it's with hiccups where you just hide behind something and jump out and it cures the hiccups, it cures the drunks too. I realized, Aaron please text me all the info immediately as soon as this recording is over because that sounds like my absolute dream. I am realizing one that story was phenomenal Aaron thank you for sharing it thank you for calling right away but I had to wait.

That was incredible. I am realizing there is legit something scary. Like if you were in like a crypt and a Dracula popped out and was like, bleh, and then pulled out a gun from his cloak and said, give me your fucking blood. Like there is something legit scary about that. Of like Dracula is a modern Dracula. Do you want to know why, Adel? Yes.

It's unhinged. There's no rules. That's some joker shit. That's like, hey, that is unhinged. There's no rules. That's some Joker shit. That's like hey, that is like chaotic evil Because you go we eat Dracula's from like the 1800s or whatever He's like old and then you have him have like a robot like you don't know how I got these things Yeah, I disagree I think Joker shit would be if Dracula popped out was like blah And then like pulled the pin out of a grenade and was like, hey, what the fuck?

I'm gonna blow everybody up with a grenade. But you're like, well, wait, what? This is so anachronistic, like, what is a grenade doing here? That's gonna kill everybody, do I kill, that'll kill you. So there's two things I wanted to run by you guys about this experience.

Yes, water bias. It really occurred to me that people are experiencing what I experienced drunk. Like you there was ample opportunity to be drunk experiencing this. Could you, Adel, could you go through a haunted house pretty drunk and to top it off the girl behind me told me she was in mushrooms before she walked in and I went, I, are you going to be okay? And she went, I hope so. And I never saw her again. No one did. If I was, if what I, you just described,

if I experienced that wall in mushrooms, I would simply float through the ceiling straight into heaven. Yeah. My body would explode like a black cat. That's my fault. I think that if I were doing that on mushrooms, I would be fine, because I would just be able

to disassociate so easily. Like when I'm on mushrooms, it's like, hey, nothing, I could just, if I'm like going through something, I can't be like, oh, this isn't happening to me because it's like, of course it is. But if I'm on mushrooms, I could very easily be like, this is happening to somebody else and then enjoy the rest of the night.

He's just like, poor bastard. Poor bastard, this is happening too. He must be out of his fucking gourd right now. Meaning, I'm great. I think that's just a good mantra for getting through life. This is happening to someone else. I'm just gonna enjoy this. It sounds like the way to experience it is maybe on Molly.

And that way when they jump out, you're like, you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I don't think so. Anyway, sorry for the long-winded story. I had to run it by these guys. Let's do some more riddles. That was, Aaron, can we stop and give you a little run of applause? Thank you so much. That was one of the better stories I've ever heard and I have to say I have to say

If you were planning on going to that haunted house, I guess I'm sorry Because we've ruined it for you. So if you're in the LA area and you're planning on going to that thing Spoiler alert. It's not gonna be as scary to you now Yeah, but here's the thing there I'm just gonna tell you guys, there's one motherfucker upstairs who's not gonna leave you alone. So just be forewarned about that guy. I told him he could rest. HR has had a lot of complaints about that guy,

because he's that guy, he's that guy who we're like, hey man, we don't have to work on Monday, it's cool and he's like, actually it's optional, you can come in if you want. And it's like, okay, great. I want to say a scene. JPC, you are the manager of a haunted house. Aaron, you are bloodthorn, a character of your own creation. It doesn't quite fit with the theme of the haunted house, but you are so committed that you are kind of disturbing and bothering customers. And JPC, you've

had to sit down bloodthorn to have a talk. Hey, can I stand? It's kind of hard to sit in this costume. Kelsey, I told you, the house is an open for another hour and a half. You don't have to be in costume. And in fairness, no one told you to wear the costume that you are wearing. I'm in a big old bush.

And it is uncomfortable, but it take a few hours to get in and so I need to leave the buffer time. That's why I'm dressed so fast. Kelsey, you are in the butchery, okay? So you need to be dressed in your apron and you need to be wearing your fake blood and that's all. And you just have to scare the people with the cleaver. And like they said before, I misheard you. And now I'm wearing a bush.

Yeah, it hurts in this blood on me is real. Yeah, Kelsey, again, don't bring the book. You say that it's an accident, but this is the third time we've had this conversation. You got to stop bringing the bush back. It doesn't fit with the room. And you're not and you're getting a lot of complaints about you. And the complaints by the way, Kelsey, are not that you are being scary. It's there.

There is a big piece that is very off-feme for the room and it's worrying people like they don't believe that you work here they don't they don't believe that you work here okay well you know what I was just trying to like set myself apart and really go for it and get your attention because everyone thinks that I got this job because of nepotism Kelsey Kelsey why can't you be more like Randy? Randy, would you come in here for a second? Yeah, what's going on?

Ah! See, Randy is playing Dr. Lizard, okay? And he's perfect. He's got the long tail, he's got the lizard fingers, and he's got the voice. And that's all he has to do. He has to just be Dr. Lizard, so you bought it. Ha ha ha ha! Zip! has to just be Dr. Lizard. So you bought it. Zip. It's me! Dr. Camillion!

Oh my god. Okay, look, Randy. Dr. Camillion. Yes? Am I- am I fired? No. Look, I- I need this job. You're both neither one of you are fired. You're the only two people who want to work here. Dr. Camillion, why did you do this? What was the only two people who want to work here. Dr. Comely and why did you do this? What was the end game? You didn't you? I am. I am.

I am. Can't you just go feed? Uh, yeah, I mean, I can't I can't technically discuss this with with you Kelsey, but Dr. Comely and I mean, he did sign his real name Dr. Comely and it all is HR paperwork. So he got the job. Oh, he just worked here. Yeah, he works here. He asked me to call him Randy. So I guess it didn't really fool, but you were just, he works here. He asked me to call him Randy So I guess it didn't really fool me. You were just I was just doing what you asked me to do Randy Okay, well how can I compete with an actual supervillain here? We cut to we cut to somebody walking through the hot-and-house and coming up on a bloodthorn

Oh, hey Jeff look at look Whoa, we're in like a is this like a butcher shop. Oh my god, there's like pig heads hanging from everyone. Oh, what? Take a take a take a take a take a take a take. What? Ah, I'm a bush. Oh, there's a person there. Are you making a cocktail?

No, I'm just shaking to you see my leaves, Russell. Oh, you know what? I'm a bush and this blood is real. They can't see out of there. Hey, you might be in the wrong room. Dude, can we help you find like a forest room or? Yeah, no, this is where I belong. Abu.

Boo. Abu? A boo. The monkey from Aladdin. Boo. Say boo. Why did you scream? She said herself. I think she's just getting herself.

See. Oh. I think the lines, I'm a big, I'm wearing a big bush or I'm a big bush and then she's getting herself I think those are classic lines. Of course. All right, sorry, your old man puzzles and I'm so sorry. I am I've already begun we've already begun the riddles honestly that toplera one from Matt I read that and I said man this is I think this is going to be really hard to get I'm going to have to give a lot of clues. And of course, I'm always wrong when I think

that. When I think a riddle will take forever, it goes by very quickly. When I think a riddle is going to be an easy get, it's the entire opposite. So I want to say something which is, I'm kind of embarrassed because I was saying that as a joke answer. And for my joke answer to be right, I don't really, I don't have to tell people that. It really hurts. What if it's a joke answer and for my joke answer to be right, um, I really didn't have to tell people that it really hurts. What if it's a joke and what if it was a joke rental? I mean, we don't know that's fair. If Matt was trying to do a big joke on you, yeah, then everybody got what they wanted,

really. Uh, thank you, Matt. This is this is totally off topic, but it's something I forgot. I was going to Aaron speaking of things you're going to text me or call me about. I was going to tell you this morning I literally flew in from Connecticut boy my arms tired boy are my arms tired. I was masturbating the whole way I was in the Stanford connect at airport and Gemini we took like a 5 a.m. flight to Chicago and there was a line at our gate That was maybe 45

Donuts there's a line at a gate 45 to 50 people deep and we're like our flight is oversold and then they open up The gate to Dunkin Donuts at 4.30 a.m And everyone shifted against the wall and we're like that was the line for Dunkin Donuts and we Cackled and I went to take a video to send to you and then I was like everyone's kind of looking over it Me because we're laughing so I did not want to but that was incredible It's an incredible that I knew what you're gonna say. Yes, you've clearly been like a new England airport early in the morning I'm familiar Insane wow that is

That is a lot of people who want to pay what like eight bucks for a Airport coffee airport coffee by the way the best coffee and the reason why it's because the people who make it Truly want to be anywhere else in the world. Can you imagine driving to an airport for your job? Ah, well, the cool thing is that you get to our own right pet security. You get the little badge and everything. The bad thing is, and I think that this might still be true,

is if you work at an airport, like if you work at like a Dunkin' in an airport, you don't actually work for Dunkin' or you don't actually work for Starbucks, you work for like Aremark or whatever fucking contractor like hires you to work at the airport. So you're really like, yeah, you're usually making like less money

and you're not actually working for the corporation that like Starbucks does like good healthcare or whatever. But if you work at the Starbucks at like an airport or a college, you're actually just getting like whatever shitty contractor healthcare that you think of. Which is no healthcare. Yeah.

Yeah. Do you guys know? I could talk to you guys a long time about labor history that it states, but actually. JB said I would love to hear this, but I do have to read this. What do you call? This next one is from Meg. Okay, Meg writes, love in the show and look forward to it each week.

Thank you for making it. This riddle is from September, 2018. Uh, thanks. Thanks, Meg. Oh, interesting. You're a fan of llama. That is bad. That is bad.

We are sorry. We don't know in here has watched family guy in the last decade, and we are so sorry about that. Yes, we're so sorry, man. This sucks. This is the new, my wife for us, isn't it? Is he guys doing family care? Now, Eric, you do Cleveland.

There's so many levels of irony to this. That really at the end of the day, it's just you doing family guy places. It's actually okay if Aaron does Cleveland because the guy that did Cleveland was white. Aaron do it. In say, no, no, please don't. It was not okay that he did it. I'll do Brian.

Hi, I'm Brian the dog. Pretty good. Pretty good. Pretty good. Anyway, this one, this one, this one. I'm crying laughing. This riddle is from Meg. We have to assume it's a riddle from Meg. There are a few trees in a garden.

On one of them, a pear tree, there are pears. But after a strong wind blew, there were neither pears on the tree nor on the ground. How is this possible? Sorry, there's trees in a garden. A few. A few, some have pairs, some have cartridges. Only one of them ever said purchase. Only one of them has pairs.

One of the trees has a pair of tree and it has pairs. But after a strong wind blows by, there are neither pairs on the tree nor on the ground. How is this? They blew into the other tree This is like being out the poison all over again here Stop me now. I'm too old Can't dead stop me now

You can't I'm old now and I can't be dead stopped no you're 29're 29 When I was 26 and I had big ol' eyes and a bushy tail and I would let just about anything happen Mm-hmm. I could be dead stopped. I am old now and I have seen some things Aaron you are in your upper late 20s But you're not 30 yet, but you are not 30 yet. That's so soon. I'm a sneeze away. Hey, well, you know what?

As soon as you are, we'll shake those pairs from your tree. But until then, you can't say anything. Some people call me worries. You cannot, you cannot not be dead stopped. Hey, can I just say, this is the most one I've had on a day. Okay. You're like five a.m. flight. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I bet my husband had to do it with it. We're recording this at 10 o'clock tonight. You like did a volleyball serve of a family guy? Boys, and I spiked it down back onto your face faster than anything has ever moved in recorded human history.

I went, nope. No. But you were right to do so. I went, nope, no. But you were right to do so. I'm with you, Eric. What, I'm with her. Aaron, you are wrong to assume that the pairs have been transferred to a different tree. They're in a different yard.

They're out of the garden. What if that's how pairs worked? What if that's how pair trees worked? That's how you become a pair tree. Okay, so I was slap happy enough that I thought you said partridge as per the song. Sure. Does this have anything to do with that song the Twelve days of Christmas. I wouldn't say I wouldn't say yes

Okay, do you say give me some hints oh A guest of wind so some sort of ghost that like snatched them all no is it no sort of ghost? Oh, it's a pair the fruit ghost that like snatch them all? No. Is it no sort of ghost? Oh, it doesn't look like a pear. It's the fruit. We're, Aaron, that is a good, good context. Yes, we were talking about pear's the fruit. And they're not on the ground this yard, anyone else's yard.

They didn't get stuck to, you know, something else. It's just a strong guess of when blew them off the tree. I don't like hairs. I think I have a, I love hairs, I think I have an answer. Okay. But it's a little heady. This is kind of like inception. So apologies if you can't keep up.

This is very much a Christopher Nolan answer. Okay, I know the answer. So I'll go ahead and say this is wrong. Continue. Okay, so is it that these trees are actually like, we'll say, for example, say cherry trees Sure, and there's pairs of cherries and when the gust of wind comes it knocks down half of each pair to the ground So that on the ground and on the tree there's only one cherry per set so there's no longer pairs

And the top keeps spinning at the end and you your left to wonder is what he's experiencing real or in his dreams. Adel, yes. You are so close to the answer of this riddle. Now, they are, pairs the fruit, like Aaron said. So the word like, pear, pear doesn't have anything to do with this. But you're dangerously close to the answer.

So is this a- Do they fall into a basket? No, that's a great answer. Is it- Nothing caught them. So does it have to do with pairs, PAIRS? No, it has to do with PEARS, but I do think that thinking, that way, well, let me read the riddle one more time and keep that keep P.A. I. R. S. in mind.

There are a few trees in a garden. On one of them, a pear tree, there are pears. But after a strong wind blew, there were neither pears on the tree nor on the ground. How come? The pears are still on the tree. No. There were neither pears in the tree? No. There were neither pairs on the tree nor on the ground. Wait, was pairs the name of the ghost that was stealing these pairs? Could you say it might be a ghost, right?

I didn't say it. Was it? I said no. Can we see a little pairs of the ghost? Anyone want to play that? I think JBC that you got this. That's all I have is let's just see pairs of the ghosts. Yeah, I want to see it.

Maybe just like a little catchphrase. Like let's see him. Let's see a 20 second scene of him stealing pairs and him just living his best life. That's not my dead life here. Dead life pairs the ghost. Lois wants me to go out to the god and it collects these pairs.

Starting to disassemble my computer, I'm ripping it in half like a sheet of paper. If I rip up my laptop, even if I'm having to take my pairs, I guess I'll try my best to push the page. You can have all my stuff, I think. What are you doing here, Meg? You useless witch.

Don't thank the assistant like that. Casey, you can just... And see. Find her. So that was all seen for me if you want. I don't really care. That was all seen of pairs of ghosts. Okay, you know what? I'll do pairs of ghosts.

Okay, here's the first. Oh my goodness. I love pairs. The fruit. But I wish I was a pair. I'm a very lowly ghost I wish I was a pair. I'm very Loanly ghost. Get it, get it, get it. Did somebody just say lonely?

I am... This is amazing. Did you see? Guess what? I'm texting Mariah, and I'm gonna make her fall in love with me. And she's gonna be in love with me and she's gonna leave you. I'm playing the long game here. You fuck with the wrong girl. I'm getting both your fiancee to fall in love with me.

Fuck yo. Well too late with Gemma. She's already in love with you. What can we submit this episode to the potdies? I have to assume that's a award show. Can we flash it down the toilet? Yes. Can we start?

Every episode that we do, I've been subinig up for a MacArthur Genius Gray. I really want for her thousand So it loops back around to genius somehow all right go ahead. Oh, well, you know what go ahead You got the answer the fucking riddle. Yeah, tell me it. Do you know the pairs? Hey, I have a little free JPC I'll play you should nail this. Do you know the pairs do you know what a pairs favorite TV show is? Fresh Prince of Bell pair. Well, that's better. Well mine was Bosch, but nevermind. Emily and Paris.

It's actually Emily and Paris. Oh. Emily's in Paris. Is it Paris? Is it Cumpapair. Isn't Bosca type of pair? It's a Bosch. Is that a one-to-one?

I don't like bears. Well, it's a two-nivear word, so it can't really be a one-to-one? I don't like that. Well, it's two different words, so it can't really be a one-to-one And we don't know if Bosch is a type of pair did my playing crash Guys be honest with me did my Enter to this I need to know at all basically got it But I think he got it in a kind of confusing way But there were two pairs on the tree one blew off But there were two pairs on the tree, one blew off, so there are no longer pairs

plural on the tree or pairs plural on the ground. There's one pair on the ground and one pair in the tree. That's exactly what I said, but I said Okay, but here's the thing though is when I asked if we were talking about pairs I assumed and when you said yes, I assumed they were all spelled the same way and when you said yes, I assumed they were all spelled the same way. They are. No, we were not talking about a pair of pairs. That was nowhere in the language. It was just pairs. Well, I wasn't listening.

JPC, Aaron, please. We have to do ads, but here's the thing. I don't want to cut to break for this episode. So let's keep talking and we can play ads over the top of us talking. Does that work? No, okay? We'll see you back after this ad break. Oh wait, I forgot we're supposed to be country. See you soon y'all Hey, GPC Yeah CPC? Uh, uh, yeah.

You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Adel, and I'm setting up a whole website to prank him. Um, and I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Adel. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online.

Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website. It gages with your audience and so anything for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here. Come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him.

Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production, and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all?

Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm going to improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords,

our popular products and content on my Prank website. The Prank site too. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. The website was for. Prank.

With Squarespace. You can connect to your store to Venetern Party Tools, prank. With Squarespace. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first

purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back. She's back. Hey Aaron. Hey Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey Adel and JPC, thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an impasse. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods.

Isn't it funny to think about something like that? There never truly is a middle of the woods. No, it funny to think about something like that? They're never truly a middle of the woods. No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually, so as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help.

I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices,

and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life

and the woods. Mm, and better help is entirely online. so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about?

All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Mmm, dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. picking them up and eating them. Dirty breadcrumbs. Mm-hmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down.

Anyways, let there be your map with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com-rittle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp-h-e-l-p.com-rittle. R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-L D L E the middle of riddles of D But there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space Who are we I clink clink clink excuse me ladies and Um, I just want to make a quick toast to, uh, I know it's JPC's birthday. And we're all so excited to talk about him.

But I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. Oh. And that is the app rocket money. Oh, yeah, Aaron. That's one of my favorite things as well. Uh, mm-hmm. Rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills

all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling. Sorry, I also wanna give a toast. Rock and Money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you and for any you don't wanna pay for anymore, just hit cancel and Rock and Money find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel and rocket money will cancel it for you.

It's that easy. Clint, Clint, Clint. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off over three million. Oh, Clint, Clint, Clint. Over three million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rockets coming here. Stop, clink, clink, clink.

Stop, no, clink, clink, clink, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwanted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. Rocketmoney. com slash riddle that's rocket money dot com slash riddle rock at money dot com slash riddle and tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website I love you rock and money

I'm ready I'll bring us back. Yeah, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, and we're back. It's me. Quag. Something. That's Chris. To avoid more family guy impressions. I think we should just get really serious about rentals for the rentals.

What? It's unquestionably yours, but often freely given and almost always used by someone else your name JPC this is embarrassing. It's in and your height. It's 511, but I tell people say date of birth December 14th, 1987 a day that you'll live in him some language of origin 14th, 1987. A day that you'll live in. Language of origin. It's the language that they use on the Flintstone menus. Oh, and love language. Potions. Right. And can you use your name in a sentence? Yeah. Who left all this JPC shit? Okay, I'd like to solve the answer. Please, J, P, C. Your name.

Aaron, you are absolutely correct the answer to that. Is your name? That was from Jess. Thank you, Jess. I would like to see a scene. Oh. Um, Adel, you are a man who works at an office and JPC your salesman and you are going in and you, someone told you that in order to get someone to like you you have to repeat their name over and over again so you've

been doing that to Adel and Adel you're gonna call them out on it. Hey buddy welcome to the office. No don't I want a real scene. I'm shutting it down. No I asked for my scene and I ordered it nicely and I told you what I wanted to be an Adel I asked so nice and you don't need to do this. I think we could have got there. I think we could have got there.

Aaron, I'm so sorry to say, the kitchen is all out of non-family-guysines. Would you like to go to a different restaurant? Do you know what that felt like? That felt like, I told people, I'm throwing a dinner party for them, and I work in the kitchen all day, and I set it up and and I use the fine,

like the fine China, and I use all those things and I make it look so good, and I use nice candles, and I set it up, and I like, welcome people into my home, and then someone just with a garden hose, completely ruins everything that I set up. I don't want to like, all day to do. I don't want to bust your nuts,

but you literally just did a family guy cut away Nice cut away to a dinner scene of somebody breaks over the garden host half family guy You're doing the show Aaron you're nailing it good job. Thank you supporting it No, we're doing it. I am a decent bearish. It's somebody broken to my it's somebody broken to my dinner party with a garden host And then Aaron does family guy. Aaron, I wanna see a scene where you fight a chicken for 10 minutes. So I don't have to write a full script.

All right. Okay, Aaron will do your thing. We'll do your thing. I'm the salesman. Yeah, you're the salesman. So like, you're repeating his name over and over. Gotcha, catch up. I don't know.

I think that your wife's really gonna love this cologne. She's gonna smell you, Dave, and Dave. Yeah. She's gonna like the way you smell Dave. Well, my wife, I'd like to think she likes my natural musk and then I actually do use cologne sparingly when we go to, you know, for whole games, which is, yeah.

Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, my boy, my man, my guy, Dave. Your wife, likes cologne. That's the little secret Dave that I'll let you in on Dave. You, you Dave, your Dave wife? May I call you Dave wife? What's Mr. Staves name?

Well, she has a name. What, yeah, Mr. Staves name. Mr. Gonna be more helpful for me to know Mr. Staves name. Sure, her name is Viola. So anyway, Dave, Viola's Dave. Dave's Viola, Viola's Dave. Viola's Dave, Dave, Viola, Voyola, Dave. Violas Dave, they've loyal the Dave. I'm sorry.

Dave Dave. Dave. Are you in a contest? I'm sorry. You've said my name ad nauseam. Is there? Oh, Dave, you're back from your business trip early. I hadn't.

Oh, I know idea that you'd be back. If I hello, what do you wait? How? Why am I on the porch and the salesman is selling me something from inside my own house? I'm sorry, no, he, I'm so sorry, Dave, he just, Dave, I'm gonna call you Dave. You were buying her time to get out of the house. Can I, Dave, can I just say something?

He just smelled so good. And he kept repeating my name over and over and I love hearing my own name. But Dave, Dave, honey, Dave. What, what? Do you feel better when I use your name a bunch? I'm furious, but I gotta be honest. It does feel nice Dave Viola I know that you must both kind of hate me right now

But I did what I did to proof a point Dave you gotta buy this cologne is the cologne that I use drives your wife wild. You already know it works Hey, you already know it works Dave I'm pissed I'm pissed but my curiosity is pete. What's this sent? Piss Dave I've seen Piss Dave seen all right. Piss Dave seen Here we go. This next riddle is from Dylan

Dylan includes their Twitter handle I don't know why they would include their Twitter handle unless they wanted me to read their Twitter handle. And their Twitter handle is at Dylan, and I believe that's a J-T-S, caught with two T's. So it's like Dylan, it's, Dylan, it's caught. Dylan, Dylan J, hmm, Dylan J is caught.

This is the riddle. Is the throttle? I don't know. I don't know what, I'm trying to Dylan, Dylan J. Hmm, Dylan J. This is the riddle. Is this the riddle? I don't know, I don't know what, I'm trying to make sense of this Twitter handle and I just can't. Dylan writes, I stumbled on this riddle by Jonathan Swift and it seemed like you would all enjoy it.

Ooh, Jonathan Swift, the corrections, I love him. I think Jonathan Swift, if I, if memory serves, is the, like the, Are you Olmack? He's like the baby eater, one, right? Oh, excuse me. Jonathan Swift wrote that like poem about eating a baby. Oh, I thought he was doing the potato famine.

Is that not Jonathan Swift? I thought he wrote Golevers Travels. Oh, you might be right. I thought it was a guy in town who runs real fast. I want to see a scene. No, you don't. I want to see a scene. I want to see a scene. You're just family guy cutaways. I want to see a scene. No, you don't I want to see a scene. You're just family guy cutaways. I want to see a scene Aaron you're a person in town who wrote a poem about eating a baby. Mm-hmm

It was published in a newspaper and JPC you were a concerned neighbor Hey, I saw your recipe in the paper. Oh, thanks The perfect scene. The perfect scene just happened. Yeah, Jonathan Swift wrote a modest proposal in 1729. And Oliver's travels. And Oliver's travel. Oh, I was right.

Yeah, the modest proposal was, I guess, was like during the potato famine and his modest proposal, it was like satirical, was like, just eat your kids. That's how you don't starve, is he? Have kids and eat them. Can I just say for all my book heads out there, I made a fun little Jonathan, France, and joke earlier, so enjoy that.

Enjoy that book heads. Here we go, here is Jonathan Swift's riddle. We are little airy creatures, all of different voice and features. One of us, in glass's set, one of us, you'll find and jet. To other you may see in tin and the fourth, a box within. The fifth, you should pursue. It can never fly from you. Sinatra. Vowels. It is Aaron Sinatra. Correct.

It is Sinatra. Is the answer. Aaron, yes, it is vowels. Fly me to the moon and let me see the sun go. I would pay good money to hear Sinatra be like, A B C D E F G. I'm sure he did. Thank you, H. I would pay good money to hear Sinatra be like a bcdfg I'm sure he did thank you. I've been dead for many years Vegas Vegas ABC

Break your legs you mess with me. Yeah, I Guess I guess it would be pretty funny if we had the technology just to like remake like Sinatra songs in his voice and we could just like write songs put them into a computer and it would come out as like a synactro song second the ABCs that that seems like something that technology should be able to do for us. Yeah. Yeah.

You should be able. Computers should be able to replicate any dead singer's voice to where I can get on my little computer, type in a bunch of lyrics and then then that generated voice should be able to sing a song and make it sound real. The fact that we can't do that yet is like what's even the fucking point? Like why do we have the fucking computers? We can't do that yet.

Well, I'll tinker around trying to figure it out because we all know I'm fucking Dr. Technology as per this very- What happened before this, huh? What happened before we started to do? What happened before this was I had 45 minutes of computer issue, then it was revealed that my laptop is outdated and can't support what we're trying to do, then it was revealed by me that I bought a new MacBook in January and have simply not touched it.

And Menado, assume that I was mad at him. And I know you think, I know you you think it guys we record these in advance We don't record these that far No, this is coming up in October and this is what mid February right now, so yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I see there we go, okay, this next one is from Tom. I love this one. Thank you Tom. Thank you Tom for your amazing. Thank you Tom. Tom.

A man woke up in bed very early one morning. Good for him. He didn't have a, does he think he's better than me? And waking up early on believable. How are we like six for a flight? I say for a flight out of Concord. I must have been a flight. I woke up at three.

A man woke up in bed very early one morning. He didn't have a clock or watch, but wanted to know what time it was. Without the man asking, someone from the surrounding houses shouted exactly what time it was. How did the man get the answer? He needed.

Psychic rooster. Okay. I would like it. What did the. I would like to see you. I was gonna list of things that he could just say at any time that he knows we'll get a seat belt. It's like his like, how do I tee up some of my characters? I just say this. Psychic rooster is the name of the new restaurant bar I'm opening.

So I was not gonna jam. So I'm sorry. What was was not going to Gemma. So I'm sorry. What was the question? Was there a brutal? He's been writing by the light of a candle late into the night psychic rooster bits. I'm sorry. Aaron, I've been writing by the light of a fire.

Well, I'm so sorry. Aaron's from the old time he times. No, I'm Adolf psychic rooster is a really good guess, but it is not. Well, hold on. Adolf psychic rooster is a guess. Hold on. Adolf Psychic Ruster is a guess. Hold on. Adolf Psychic Ruster is a waste of everyone's time.

Shake it on you. And they got a receipt. Psychic Ruster is a collection of sounds that does nothing for us. Okay, well. Okay, people are gonna really enjoy that run, I think. I think that's gonna be well received. Would anyone hazard to to wage a guess.

What do we like to gizzard a guess? Jesus Christ. What do we like to hazard? Someone yelled, welcome to noon. It's noon and welcome. No, no one yelled, welcome to noon. So this person did not have, what was it? They didn't have a clock or a phone.

Uh, yeah, let's assume that they had nothing to tell the time. They had nothing to tell the time. Do they live next like a church or something where? Someone shouted the, oh, is it the neighbors on, the neighbors on the east side who always wake up at 4 a.m. get drunk and yell at each other. Barbara, it's 5 a.m. and you're doing this? They wake up, get drunk and then yell at each other.

There's nothing they've been up all night. They wake up early and drink. So nobody here in that place. You never let it drink, leave ill. Ha ha ha ha. Okay. My dad wanted to get up at 4 a.m. to go to work. But before that, he was up for two hours.

Drunk off his ass, yell at my mom. Okay. What go to work, but before that, he was up for two hours, drunk off his ass, yelling at my mom. Okay. What's the riddle answer, please? I know this is wrong and stupid. His neighbor is actually a news station and they go, hello, welcome to the 6 o'clock news. Aaron, I swear to God, I thought you had it. You said so confidently that you were you like I know this but no

as neighbor was not a news station let's assume that this is a residential neighborhood I think that'll help us Chicago with all these mixed use building the news comes on and someone goes it's the six o'clock news five dollar movies no Aaron that is not correct it is a good guess but it is not correct were they a podcaster is it like Peter Segal? No, it wasn't anyone saying the time for their own benefit, I will say. Oh, that's a good thing. That's a good thing.

Hi, I'm just calling and letting you know it's 8 a.m. Oh yeah, it's somebody works for a movie phone next door. I was gonna say, do you remember that there used to be a number that you could call that would tell you like at the tone, the time is 551 and then it would go boom and it would tell you guys remember that I don't remember that JBC I absolutely remember that and I almost brought it up and then I said add all don't say it because they're going to make fun of how old you are. Do you wait you almost brought it up as an answer to this riddle I almost brought it up in conversation

just now and then I was like okay add don't think they're gonna tear into you and say, was that Alexander Graham Bell saying the thing? I don't think you've ever been to the movie phone. You're like, movie phones, new and cool and young and hit. That's what you're experiencing is pattern recognition. So you have noticed over time that we will tear into you anytime you mention the 80s. And I get pattern recognition from my mom's dad. Yes,

from your it's all from the your maternal grandfather. Correct. Yes. I died on this plane. So it wasn't for somebody else's benefits. So they're clearly talking to someone else. Was there. It wasn't for their own benefit. It was for someone else's benefit. Yeah. Was it like they have someone they have someone in their house who's like being taken care of, like they're in a hospital bed or something. That is a very good guess, but no, it is not that.

Like Charlie and the chocolate factory. It's 8 a.m. The school bus is here. That's pretty good. School bus is here. That's a great answer. Let me help you narrow it down. It's for the benefit of the guy who woke up

and doesn't know what time it is. The part that someone is telling him the time and they're specifically telling him the time. They're not telling it for anyone else's stuff. Is he late for something? Benefit, it's not because he's like, he doesn't get a phone call, it's a neighbor. It's a neighbor in one of the surrounding houses.

This isn't one of those riddles where the answer is like he's blind is it? Even if he was blind, how would that be an answer to this? You know that Taylor swept a music video. I knew you were her and that boy. Oh, what? Can see into each other's rooms. Yeah. I wear shorts. He might be listening he lives in the mountains. And we're on the bleachers yet. He lives the time while I'm sleeping. They see into each other's rooms

and they know what's going on with each other. So it's someone going like, hey, I know you're supposed to be somewhere. He doesn't, he taps his wrist or she looks at someone asleep in their bed and he taps his wrist. No, so let's say for the answer to this, he can't see, no one can see into his house, he can't see anyone else's house. He didn't pay his electricity bill. Okay, look.

First of all, first of all, he has a month, okay? So get off his ass because they're not gonna shut the lights off. Give it a do, he just pays, and they'll turn it right back on. Tumble around. You, correct. What, I just said that. I like the way just said that.

I like the way Aaron said it. Give it, give it another hint, a better hint. Okay. Um, the man who woke up didn't just simply wake up and have the time declared for him. He did something to cause the time to be declared for. Oh, he has one of those, um those two soup cans with the string attached. He lives in a treehouse with his neighbor treehouse neighbor. No, he didn't ask. He didn't he didn't directly ask what the time is. He's a bird. He's not a bird, but aren't we all? He's like a bird.

No, he wants to fly away. He wants to fly away. A man woke up in bed very early one morning. He didn't have a clock or watch, but one day what time it is without the man asking. He didn't ask anyone. Someone from the surrounding house has shouted exactly what time it was. Now, he didn't ask someone, but he did do something. Nelly for tadaa. I just heard nine minutes in times it's going to be the right answer, but of course, not for this riddle. Who am I in love with?

Nelly Pratata. Why am I late? Nelly Pratata. How is that word spelled? Nelly Pratata. I'm like a bird. Oh, I was fly away. Do do do do do.

I gotta, oh, so I wanna be honest. I promise you guys I'd be more open and honest with the two of you. I wish I was doing Peter Griffin impressions. I'd rather you lie. I don't know why I'm just lying to me. It's a bit of spin off or. I don't know if you can do a Peter impression

that will get you the answer to this rental, but I don't think so. Okay. Can I just know the answer now? I'm starting to get pissed off. Aaron, I think that I think you've done a good job if you've eaten all your peas, you've eaten all your broccoli's. I think that you can just know the answer.

I'm starting to get with the French call, peacethop. I'm starting to get to, a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a- And then a big stump stamp appears on both of your foreheads. Damn, stumped. It's six feet of bubble gum for you, not them. Did you see what you pissed off? I'm just trying to give Tom their due answer. He woke up. He wondered what time it was and then proceeded to play his trumpet.

Provoking his neighbor into yelling, stop playing the trumpet. It's three in the goddamn morning. Trumpet. Trumpet. Oh, so into yelling stop playing the trumpet. It's three in the goddamn morning Trumpet So this was oh my gosh. I want to see you seen wait Can I just say that guy puts like creative thinker under special skills on his resume that guy fucking sucks Tom also says greetings from England so I Guess I guess this posh mother fucker whatever fucking you Tom we hate you on this podcast Tom what's up torch

I want to see a scene. Yes. JP's Aaron you are sleeping. You're in a nice little suburban area neighborhood and you happen to just get a new neighbor the night before which is Lou Bega played by JPC and it is very early the morning and Lou Bega is waking you up and so you open up your window. A little bit of the paper in my hand, a little bit of my coffee in my other hand. A little bit of my pajamas on my butt. A little bit of I should get the mail.

Hey, hey, man. Sorry, can you keep it down? Excuse me, hi, I'm Lou. I just moved in. Yeah, Lou, I haven't really made the round. And if you wake the baby, you take the baby, okay? Kourtney. Monica. Melissa? Monica. Jen Jen Monica Ellen don't

guess my name I'm telling you it's Monica oh I thought we were both saying names of vacation spots that we'd love to go to Jen yeah I love to drink gin and monica don't you have you ever? Monica My name is Monica. What? Hey, Lou, can I call you what? My baby is napping right now and I just need you to keep it down. I know you're probably a songwriter or something My name you are correct. I am a songwriter. I wrote one song exactly I wrote one song exactly. Where? Where? Baby sounds. Oh, my baby sounds.

Oh, zip. Ha ha! I'm not your baby. I'm Dr. Camillean. Where's my baby? Six in Puerto Rennes. See. Dr. Camillean, what a twist. Three balls back. Here's my challenge to anybody who stumbles upon this episode. If you can sing, Mamba number five,

if you can make it to the whole episode. Run to me, me, me, me. If you can sing, Mamba number five, like Frank Sinatra, I'll pay you, I don't know, I'll sell you $50. But it has to be the first person to get this to me. It's the first person. So if you listen to this, on the day it came out, I've has to be the first person to get this to me. It's the first person. So if you listen to this on the day it came out,

I've already set him the video. I've already set up the video. I've already claimed the buddy. And it can't be just you and like a voice note recording it and singing it. It has to be like, there has to be production value, but that, well that doesn't sound fair because then there,

$50 in production value. Yeah, that's gonna say never mind. Never mind, this is off, never mind, it's canceled. All right, that challenge is canceled. Nevermind. This is off. Nevermind. It's canceled. Alright, that challenge is canceled. I know what you're thinking. Could we have just deleted it from the episode?

No. It was too good. It had to stay. We have to earmark when Adel fails. Adel, I know that we have been unfair to you throughout this whole episode. Oh. Oh, or I guess maybe that's just Aaron.

I won't speak for myself. Yeah. Yeah. So now it's time for Addle to just get his own time to say, do you have anything that you would like to plug because we would love to hear about it? Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, I wasn't ready for this.

Oh, I'm sorry. We can go to Eric's part. I want to thank the Academy. I want to thank everyone who's been there for my mom my agent Please check out psychic rooster opening summer 2025. We're still looking for funding It is it should be October so if you have any spooky videos or fun Halloween anything decorations or songs or candies send it to me please you can find me on Twitter at Adorify you can find me on Instagram at Adorify and Send us send us more riddles to hr podcast at gmail.com

I think we're always looking to fill the coffers as it were so please we're always looking to have riddles Stay in there for three years before we go We're always looking for that and, if you enjoyed something from this episode and you want to tweet about it, please use hashtag, hey family family guy. What's the hashtag? Aaron is very hashtag, Aaron is very brave for going through that haunted house.

Okay, JPC, did you see that? Aaron just hijacked my plugs. Yep, okay. Aaron hijacked my plug. Aaron turned a. And it was hijacked my plug. Aaron, turn it about to play. Casey, I'm getting a little echo. I'm getting an echo. Do you hear that Casey?

I hear it too. I hear the echo's on mine as well. I got that paper right on top. Turn about to play Aaron. Do you have anything to plug in, Adel? You do get one steal. Okay, well I was on two podcast. I like the steal.

Okay. Those podcasts were cast in Fartsville. You booked Fartsville. You're not hurting me in this. There's so much more popular. You're hurting these very sweet people. How did you get on Fartsville? There's a come town of the Midwest. I was on Better Movie Club.

They are amazing. I had a great time in that podcast. I was also on the podcast cruise control. C-R-E-W-S control. And I had a great time on that as well. All really great people, really fun episodes. Check out both shows, even if we don't want to listen to my episode. JPC, anything to plug? Adela and I each get one steal. I like to Twitter. Okay. No, I don't have anything. I like to steal Twitch. Oh, man. Okay, well, I got both my plugs got stolen. It was just gonna be Twitch and Twitter. So, uh, I, I, here's what I'll say. Have a great day. And whatever, whatever you do that makes you happiest today, I want you to do that. Now for most of you...

Finally, I get to be me! For most of you fucking ribs, it's gonna be listening to this episode again. And that's fine. That's fine. Because it's the thing that makes me happiest as well. And it'll really fuck with our download numbers. And it'll make it look like this episode is a salient popular. So go do that!

Aaron! It's getting to be that spooky season which means that... Oh, it's our first time. JPCs. Wait, I thought, hold on. No, JPCs so fly on Twitter. Shark Brockman is his Instagram.

I know. And Twitch. Oh, is it Twitch? Okay. It's both, it's Instagram. It's the one that I have good branding for. Nice. It's also my name on peloton.

I smell. I smell. I'm very, very smell Now I smell a smell. Someone is cooking. Oh, oh, I did have something to announce. Come on. I'm retiring. Walker, Walker, kids. It's had a great, it's had a great run. Um, we might think of something else in the future to do, but you will no longer hear me say, Walker, Walker, kids at the end of any episode. Casey, I know that what I'm saying is really important, but go ahead and play the theme song right through it, because all we needed was that first part, and if they can hear me at the background of the theme song, good for them.

Jupiter! Casey, cut what JPC just said and add it to the end of every episode. This is JPC's new outro tag one. It's so worth it. and added to the end of every episode, this is JPC's new outro tagline. Toothpaste. Hey there Ghosts and Crows! If you like that, you're gonna love this week's Patreon. The HeyvirtleRiddleCruque gathers around the fire and tells some spooky stories. You can listen to that plus our entire Batcadilog at patreon.com slash HeyvirtleRiddle by joining the for eight dollars a month.

See you then!