Hey Riddle Riddle - #171: Bleh Riddle Riddle 4

Episode Date: October 27, 2021

In our 4th annual Halloween episode; Adal deals with a troubling family issue, the gang debates what constitutes good candy, we all face our worst fears and there's some spooky animal parading, creepy riddles and at the last possible moment we sneak in a Rap For Daddy! Come up to the lab! See what's on the slab! I see you shiver....with....a distaste for riddles! #WiddleWednesday Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgun podcast. Terror falls across the land. Hashtag Whittle Wednesday is closer to it. As improvises and workforce cats will terrify all's podcast apps. And who's so ever shall dare try to lampoon errands closer to eyes? Must sit full addons, puns and barbs as GPC steals their magic cards. The foulest noise in the air, the pros of 40,000 listeners as the solution to each riddle asks, ends up being such fucking trash. For though the Pazis pose seen fine, the answers will be shitting. For no mere mortal shall resist, the evil of these gritties.

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The horses make day. The horses make day. The horses make day. The horses make day. The horses make day. The horses make day. Hey Casey, can we, can we hold off on this episode? I'm not, I'm just not feeling it. What's, what's wrong? Man, you got it. Well, I, this is embarrassing to say, like, are we, are we good enough friends that I can tell you something and you keep it secret? Yeah, yeah, man, it's just awesome. I'm eating. Go ahead. I'm just, I'm a little bum because, um, Dracula's dating my mom. Dracula's dating your mom, you said? Dracula's dating my mom.

You don't need to say it back to me. It's hard enough to live it. Yeah, okay. Hold on. Here they go. Hold on. Hold on. Your mom, Dracula. Oh, Jesus. Oh, how are you doing? Hey, Dracula. Hello, Adel.

Did you have you washed? Have you bathed? Mom, I'm 39 years old. Well, you smell it. Oh, come on. Adel, do you want to go outside and throw a ball back in for it? Well, I'd love to throw a ball, but earlier you asked me to throw a bat back and forth, which is weird. I don't know. Which was me! I was the bat! Blue!

I just got a text from Sidious, she's in a new movie. Oh, Addles, that's great! You must be so proud! I'm so proud Sidious in a new movie! You must be so proud of one of your children. I'm proud too! I'm a part of this now. Blue. Well, you're just dating my mom. I'm here.

I'm your dad. No, that's not how that works. Well, we're blood now. Blue. Actually, Addle, it is how it works. Dracula and I have decided that it's time. I don't, mom. That we make this official, and we get married,

and Dracula has graciously offered to adopt you. I don't want that. How will we even sign the adoption papers because the courthouse is only open 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. It's all on Zoom now. It's all on Zoom now. Yeah. Fucking Dracula. I hate you. Okay. Dracula. My feelings turns into a bat flies away. Another one. This is Captain

Crunch all over again. You were dating Captain Crunch. I thought you guys just will never mind. I don't want to talk about it. Well, I know, I know you're the specs of frog. What? I had a lot of it. Aaron, am I late to recording? What's up? Hey, no, Aaron, I'm just, uh, he say hi to my mom. Oh, hi, Adel's mom. Hello, Aaron. I'll be here for the whole episode.

I saw a bad. No, I have to wait. I saw a bat fly by in the way in and I killed it. Well, I saw that. I saw that fly in as well. And I saw Aaron smash the shit out of it. it. Whoa, I saw a bat fly in, I saw a bat fly in as well. And I saw Aaron smash the shit out of it's me, JPC. What's up guys? Oh, hey, you guys just missed my mom.

She must have run to go watch Outlander or whatever that show is she likes. She's a complicated person. Let's not reduce her to one TV show she likes, okay? Hey, in first of all, every mom likes Outlander. That's not like a unique mom trait for you. I'm sorry, anyone who ever wants to be horny likes outlander. I'll say it. I'll say it.

If you want to be horny, if you like to be horny. In Scotland, in Scotland. In Scotland, you watch outlanders. I'll be honest, I don't know what time of moms. Like I have friends that are moms. I don't have like an overwhelming number of moms in my life. Every single mom that I know loves Outlander. They love Outlander.

Turns out, turns out. Well, I'm so glad that we have the crew altogether. I'm so sorry for the inconvenience up top. I'm just going through some rough shit with graduating my mom. But I am out of five AKA Count Puzzula with me as always, every Halloween is JPC aka David S. Puzzies. That's right.

Aaron Keefe aka Spooky Sleepy Witch. I would like to say happy anniversary to the biggest fight we've all ever had. Was that when I gave a riddle and didn't give the answer? Yep. It's our biggest fight happy anniversary. What's the traditional gift that you give for the biggest fight? Is this three years of that? This is, no, this is blay, riddle, riddle.

Number four. No. Or. How? How? No, don't pop it in. 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021. Do not pop with me dude

Well you're crumbs every air and you bring up a great point which is every year for our blah Riddle Riddle Halloween spooktacular I read a riddle at the end with it which I don't give the answer to but then I give the answer one year later So that the tension is completely broken everyone forgots and people could care less. So everyone forgot. Everyone forgot. So we love to do some photos movie. Everyone's do gots. Hey, forgets about it.

Well, it is Halloween, so a gaba ghoul is a apropos. So yeah, NGPC, last year's riddle that we read at the very end, was why were there screams coming from the kitchen? I can't remember what you all guessed, it's been a year. Do you wanna give some? Let's see if I can guess the same guesses I guessed last year. Okay, why were there screams coming from the kitchen? It was ice screams.

Oh, that's good one. That is a good one. I'd say that's a great one was ice creams. Oh, that's good one. That is a good one. I'd say that's a great one. Ice creams. If you're the president of Lafayette Taffy, that's a good one. Yeah. Well, the setup to this one makes me think

it is a joke for kids, because it's got the classic joke for kids, you know, one line, why were there screams coming from the kitchen? But it could also be one of these stories of the whole things where we're supposed to ask a bunch of questions and figure out that it was like, one line, why were there screams coming from the kitchen? Mm-hmm. But it could also be one of these stories of the whole things where we're supposed to ask a bunch of questions and figure out that it was like, you know, the butler or whatever. I'll say say Mansor's Aaron, ice cream.

Oh nice. Well, you're both wrong. Why were there screams coming from the kitchen? The chef was beating some eggs. That's dark. Yeah, pretty funny. Yeah, I'm personifying these eggs and now I'm really disturbed.

Well, also because like you could have said the chef was beating some flour, but like eggs are like baby chickens, right? To a certain, like they're kind of more alive than flour, right? Eggs are baby chickens. I mean, yeah. I was. I want to hate this, but I can't. You're, you're scientifically accurate. Addle, this is fucked up. I don't know what it is about my weed that you are inspired

to get into a fight with me. I don't know what your problem is, man, but I'm, I'm angry. I'm all fired up. Aaron, Aaron coming into the episode with a pretty aggro vibe. You love to see. I personally, as one of the most aggressive people in the world, you love to see it. Aaron, Aaron, I have to ask you. I have to ask you, with such an aggro vibe, what's going on? Is your weekmaid? Is everything okay? Is everything okay?

I put too much moisturizer on my hands so I keep fucking up my entire setup. But mostly I was okay. This fucking Halloween episode, man, it puts me on edge. What Aaron, can I, I might have a solution. I'm just thinking of this now. I might have a solution.

Okay. Are you willing to try it out? Yes. So if you're on edge and you're feeling a little antsy, sometimes I get that too in Halloween, Halloween time in October. And what it is is Halloween is a time where we face our fears, right?

Our fears are nightmares walk the street and they don't let you walk the street. They come to our doorstep. They knock on our door. They come to our homes and we have to on our door, they come to our homes, and we have to invite them in and face it. Are you telling me your biggest fears in eight-year-old wearing a power ranger's costume?

A hundred percent. I think Adolf's using fears and kids interchangeably here. Aaron, so you've met Greg. Yeah, you're an emphasis. Yes, my kid, I fucking hate in my neighborhood. Greg, if you're listening, fuck you. Greg, if you're listening, I kid I fucking hate in my neighborhood Greg if you're listening fuck you Greg if you're listening I wasn't aware that little kids were still being named Greg. That's great So Aaron what we're going to do is we're each going to mention our biggest fear and then collectively

We're gonna face those fears through scene work. So I can go first if you like Something I recently realized what I was in I was not too long ago, I was in France, and we were staying in the countryside in a Airbnb, and there was like a fly tent over the bed, whatever you call that, like an insect tent. Yeah, yeah. That goes over the bed because it's the countryside and the windows have no screens.

So we left the window open, we had this tent that we were sleeping in. In the middle of the night, I felt something crawl across my leg. I brushed it away. I felt something. I felt something. No. Greg's parents know. Crawl across my leg. I felt something else. Crawl across my leg. My other leg. Brush it away. I felt something crawl on my hand. Brush it away. I felt something on my face. Brush it away. I then turned on my phone, on my light on my phone, which I had underneath the tent in my bed, and inside the tent, on the inside of the tent,

was this snake cockroach rodent? I was jellyfish. Worse. A French chef. Oh no. And he was putting butter bit of friends. A French chef. Oh no. And he was putting butter in my mouth. As I saw. Inside the tent was a spider, the size of my hand.

I looked up this spider later and it's called the giant country spider or the giant house spider. He has giant, it has giant in the tank. That's like something on a cracker barrel video. A giant cartridge spider. But this spider, I tried to get out of the bed, but the tent is tucked underneath the mattress. So anywhere I went, I was like knocking off the thing onto me.

So I was like screaming and Gemma woke up and she saw it and flipped out. Then we lost it. It crawled into the bed and disappeared. Then we later saw it in the corner. We tried to kill this thing with like, we were spraying suntan lotion on it, and it got like drunk and loosey,

but then somehow got stronger. It was the scariest thing I've ever experienced, and I now have a fear of spiders, where I did not before, I am now terrified every night before I go to bed here at home. I have to check every nook and cranny. So I'm afraid of spiders. Can you two help me in improv to face my dreams?

Yeah, well, first of all, of course that spider felt stronger. You protected it against sun camp. It was like, oh, I can go out in the sun without any risk now. Thank you so much, sir. Also, you're like, the way that you were like, we tried to kill it. We sprayed it with sun tan lotion. It's like, yeah, somebody broke into my house

and I tried to fight him off. I tore all their fingernails off. And it's like, no, no, what you did was you tortured them. You weren't trying to kill it, we sprayed it with suntan lotion. It's like, yeah, somebody broke into my house, and I tried to fight him off. I tore all their fingernails off, and it's like, no, no, no. What unit was you tortured them? You weren't trying to kill them. You were doing things that the Geneva Convention does not allow you to do to people. I tried to kill it, I dumped Creeatine on it,

and bought it a month-long pass to a sport fit. So, can one of you two call for a scene where I face my fears and try and overcome my fear of spiders now? Just a quick scene. Okay, I would like to see a scene. So Adel, you're going to be playing you. Aaron is going to be a spider who just woke you up in the middle of the night. Aaron is the spider that can talk and she just wants to she wants to kind of tell you why it's good to have spiders in your house and kind of negotiate a piece between the two of you that allows her to do what she wants to do great Hey, can you get me glass of water?

No, what the fuck? I'm really I'm too scared to go downstairs by myself. Can you get me glass of water? Wait, you're scared to um, sorry. Yeah, hi. Um, my name is Libby. I'm a spider. Um, I'm like, six, seven days old. Um, I live here, and I just am like, I don't know, I just, I would, now that we're roommates, I thought I could maybe ask you a favor. Oh, Libby, uh, a few things. Why don't you say something to me? Two, you don't live here. I live here, um, unless you pay rent and bills that I'm on why are you holding your shoe? Oh I was going to crush I was gonna get I was gonna get a crush Yeah, I wouldn't kill me if I were you why is that?

Because I can see bugs that are much smaller than me, that are much deadlier than me. You know, and I'm killing those bugs. So yeah, I'm big. Uh-huh. But I'm not the scariest thing living in your house. Gotcha. See, I'm not afraid of those bugs. Like the little bugs that live on my eyebrows or whatever, I could give it a sh- Are you sure? Are you sure?

When was the last time you Google image to that? Are you sure you don't give a shit of it? Give me a second. Don't go anywhere. Don't go anywhere. Let me Google Oh, fuck me. That's on me. That's on you right now and you're in your eyelashes and some in your mouth. So I'm not so scary am I do they usually live in my mouth or you put them in there? I don't actually only like six or seven of my friends across a lifetime will crawl into your mouth and hang out in there. But man, I'm basically like the mountain's there of your house. I'm helping you out.

I heard that I swallowed six to eight of you a year. That's not true. Okay. Yeah, I guess if you're kind of a bouncer, that's kind of fun. See, my thing is, I know that you eat smaller bugs, but I'm not afraid of smaller bugs and I'm afraid of you. So that would be like if there's a line in know that you eat smaller bugs, but I'm not afraid of smaller bugs I'm afraid of you So that would be like if there's a lion in my house, and it's like but I kill rabbits and I'm like I'm not scared of rabbits I'm scared of a lion, right does that mean is that a one-to-one?

Yeah, that makes sense picks up shoes about to swap you. What are you doing with that shoe? Crush Cr- I'm gonna I'm gonna crush you I'm gonna crush you. Mom! Mom! Let's see. Do you feel better, Adel? I feel much better.

Aaron or JPC, do either of you want to admit one of your biggest fears and we can tackle that? I was trying to, that your spider story, I was working out the other day and I saw, there was a spider in the corner of the room and I'm fine with spiders, they're good. I like spiders. But it was in the corner of the room and then I was on the floor working out and it was like it was about the size of my thumbnail. So it was like big. It was not a small spider but it wasn't huge. And it just started crawling towards me. So I just like

flicked it away like to the other end of the room and then I was working out some more and it started to crawl towards me and I was like, buddy, I love you, but you're forcing my hand here, I flicked it away. And the third time, it was crawling directly towards me again. I'm like, first of all, getting flicked has to suck. So I don't know what you're doing. I had to kill it. I was like, this guy is fucking insane. He won't stop until one of us is dead and I had to smash him.

He was just trying to spot you to keep you safe. This guy's lifting way too much way. I'm gonna help him out. I don't care. I'm not gonna rest easy tonight. No one, I'll let this guy get crushed. It was body weight, so fuck off spider. Exactly.

He was scared. So, from that story, it sounds like you have a fear of not being fit. No reason to fear what will ever be. Aaron, do you have something? Do you have anything that strikes you? I'm scared of being responsible for someone else's death. Is that too serious? Yeah, no, let's see a scene. Aaron, you are in the afterlife. You run into JPC who you either know or find out in this conversation that you were actually responsible for his passing. Dumb to them.

Whoa. Holy shit. Oh my god. No, tell me. Don't tell me. Sharon Beef. So close. Aaron Keep.

Aaron Keep. Yeah, we did a podcast. Yeah. Three years maybe four, I don't know. It was just over four. Aaron keep Aaron keep yeah we did a podcast yeah Three years maybe four. I don't know it was just over four. I think we made it with Halloween episode that was just over that that we oh my god How are you dad? Well, I'm here. So I Got to tell you I am happy for you that you made it to heaven. That's very cool man and I am so happy that you think this is heaven

Hey, just wanted to let you know walking walking around up here between you and me. It is truly no hard feelings. I don't even I don't even care again. I don't even remember you. I've been having my whole I've been having my whole shit up here and it's been wonderful. And it just it is I do not I do not blame you and I do not hold it against you Just to yeah, make sure we're on the same page here. Are you referring to? I'm a dummy so are you talking about oh? I'm just talking about the dad

Oh, you remember that yeah, yeah, yeah, we were having a picnic and I said hey Will you toss me a gatorade and you tossed a gatorade off the cliff And I went for it and I fell off the cliff and you know broken me bottom my body and I ended the bottom of the cliff And then you decided no one saw so you weren't gonna say anything And then there was that whole search and rescue thing that happened. It was very traumatic for my you know my family I had everybody and yeah I just want to say no hard feelings. And yeah, and I mean, full disclosure,

and you'll get this, I had really just died on the hill that I had great aim. I really had recently said, I have incredible aim. Uh huh. So in that case, I had to die on the hill. So just, just, just a few. Ha, ha, ha, ha. on the hell. So just, that's the easy though. Ha ha ha. Aaron, you cannot feel responsible for that.

That character deserved it. No, I know. That character. Hold on. That's your friend. That's me, Mario. Do you feel better, Aaron? Uh, yes.

Thank you. JBC and I are in something that looks like heaven and it's not quite. JBC, I once, you once told me that you have no fears, but if you had to conjure one up or make one up, what would be your biggest fear? First of all, I told you in confidence that I had a no fear t-shirt that I still wore to bed. It's said, it's said if you can't, if you can't get out of the kitchen, get on the porch with the big dogs, which made no sense. And it had barfed the Martiansian's looking a blot on it. But yeah, it didn't make sense. And pissing on a Calvin.

Did pissing on a Calvin. It's a cool shirt, actually. That's, actually nobody make that shirt. Sorry, pissing on a Calvin Klein logo, being worn by Calvin. Be worn by a Ford truck. That'll be in the store. That'll be in the store the next week and a half.

So just keep looking for it. Hey, I'm busy. So what, uh, JBC, what is your fear? That's a, that's a good question. I think that one of my, one of my big fears and I, it's like, no, it's like one fears, and it's like, it's like one of those things that's not, there are some fears that are like, oh yeah, this is something that I would encounter every day in my life, and it's like terrifying,

like driving a car, and just being absolutely, you know, a T-bone or demolished while you're driving a car. Some like that, but there's an actual fear that I have that really only gets kind of like, you know, brought up, if I'm consuming media, and that's like being trapped in a place. So like, either being like in an elevator that like won't close or what was that movie that 127 hours

where the guy gets his arm trapped on the whole of his seven-dollamations? That's it. 127 dresses, shoes and all those weddings. All those puppies and dresses are piled up on that guy's arm. Just something like that. Something like being just trapped, physically trapped is no bueno for me. Well, buddy, then I don't know if you want to get married.

I don't mind being emotionally trapped. So we're going to see a scene. JPC, Aaron, you are walking through a graveyard. And JPC, you are in a unmarked plot of land buried in a casket alive. And Aaron, you can hear him through the ground. And JPC, you can hear Aaron on the surface talking back to you. You're going to have a little conversation. One little, little two little three little graves down four little five little six little hello No, please, please pull up. Please don't no don't be scared. Well be scared. Hi I'm not dead. I am buried alive

Under in this in the ground. Oh my god, am I on what would you do? Truly. Am I in the hit television show? What would you do? I don't know the show. What's the premise? Something crazy happens in a public space. And then they film you.

And then the whole thing is like, what would you do if you were in this situation? Would you step in and help? Or would you just walk away? And now I'm asking myself the question, what would I do? It's not that. It's not the show. It's just a real life weird situation. Honestly, there's a story why I'm in here.

I don't want to get into it. It's boring. Not boring. It's enthralling, but I'm trapped. Right. Underground. Sure. Do you know what the Wi-Fi password is for the graveyard? Oh

Try bones with a capital B. Okay, if you don't know that's fun But I'm not gonna try bones of the castle I guess my next guest would be that's not it Ghost That's not it. Um, Ghosts. 6-9, 6-9. You work here at the graveyard or? I'm- Ma'am sorry to interrupt you.

I'm my name and you're on what would you do? I knew it! Now, do you feel like you did what you should have done? Yes. I tried my best to guess the Wi-Fi password for this man That is correct now. What was it by the way? Oh, well the answer for the Wi-Fi was Dead with a capital E that's insane, but that works. That's it. That works. Okay. I'm gonna finish Squid Game Nope, I'm fine.

I'm good. Let's see. James, at the beginning of that scene, did you say your name was Barry Alive? Uh, sure. Well, should we do some spooky riddles? Yeah, I love that idea. I think we must. Here we're going to do a little warm-up riddle. Now, this might be the easiest riddle we've ever had, but keep in mind, if we would have done this riddle on a non-October episode, you may not have gotten it so quickly, but I'm sure

you'll plow through this one. So let's just do it as a warm-up riddle. Here we go. Joe wearing a mask and carrying an empty sack leaves his house. An hour later, he returns with a full sack. He goes into a room and turns out the light. What's going on? He killed a man and he's bringing it back to his house. That's it. He leaves his house with an empty sack and comes back with a full sack.

Mm-hmm. Did he just... I mean, I don't want to be vulgar, but he says to Halloween episode. Did he jerk off, go for a walker, then come back home? Yeah, don't... We're not trying to be vulgar. He went to this burn back to have uh to have it repopulated. He went there. They're like no it just comes back. No, I would have just I wouldn't roll. I don't think you know what a sperm bag is. There's no ATM there, Adel. Well, what have I been using my card for? Okay, we're about to learn some terrible information about what Adel is this?

A trick or treating child who comes home with a bag full of candy. A bag full of candy? Yes, Joe is a kid who goes trick or treating for Halloween, returns and goes to sleep. No kid comes back with a bag full of candy? Yes, Joe is a kid who goes to drink or treating for Halloween, returns and goes to sleep. No kid comes back with a bag full of candy and goes to sleep. I like to see you do. What they do is they dump out all the candy. Hold on.

What they do is they dump out all the candy from their pillowcase. Then they're going to sort it into two piles. The piles are chocolate and other. Once you have the piles of chocolate and other, you go into sub piles. You start to separate your Mr. Goodbars and your fun-sized Snickers and your Reese's. And you put some of a side that you're going to wait and save her later, and you put some to the side

because you're going to trade them with your sister for what you want. Because maybe she likes Habababa, or maybe she likes airheads or gelio ranchers, which are trash candies, but some people like them. Out of this is the debate of the century because you're wrong. You're wrong, sir. Right.

Aaron, I'm sorry. How was Adel wrong? Thank you for asking JPC. My time starts now. You get home. You go to a carpeted area, okay? You dump out your pillowcase so far. We're on the same page, okay?

Sure. okay. You do not sort chocolate and like fruity or other. You're honored. Hold on, hold on. No, she had, you can, you will get a rebuttal after Aaron is completed, Aaron proceed. You sort it by your favorite candies. So this is what you do.

You like say you like Reese's and Snickers and Skittles like me. You put those at the top and then cascading down, the candy gets shittier and shittier. And then what you're going to do is go like this with your hands vertically. And you have a line of great candy that you love and then medium candy, medium candy mediocre candy shitty candy we will need to examples Okay, get our minds wrapped around what do you think a mediocre candy?

Yes, and then a shitty um mediocre candy is going to be something like a Unnamed brand gummy that looks rather fresh I won't be explaining myself I won't be explaining myself. Okay, okay. And what's a shitty candy? A shitty candy is like a coconut, like what's the coconut? All my joy?

All my joy? All my joy. Mounds, some shitty nonsense. Or like homemade shit. That's like the weird lady in your neighborhood, man. Okay, so then you have these like vertical lines. A pop pop. A good variety of good to bat.

And then what you're going to do is go get Ziploc bags, probably 10 days worth of Ziploc bags. You put those candies in there and then for you bring those candy bags to school for the next 10 days. And you're not faced with a problem where you go from having great candy for the first couple days to shitty candy, you have enough good to bad candy for the next 10 days that it lasts you. And whatever you have left over,

you put it in the little pumpkin, you put it in the top of your refrigerator for when you need a little something. I yield the rest of my time. Adel, you're a rebuttal. What I would like to say is that you don't put it in Ziploc bags, you don't bring it to school. When you bring it to school

All the kids are gonna say what's that some sort of candy might I try some candy because these little piggies Put it in a trough at home and scarfed it all down night one So you're not feeding the school. What are we heating? I object your honor bathroom Candy your honor bathroom stall alone candy your honor what you do is you separate into chocolate and other Then you immediately eat all the M&Ms you dump those into your mouth the M&Ms are the best treat because it's a bag of candy all night one your honor that's full of time here pieces of candy that's full of time here pieces of candy

then you go into the other pile you remove Nords any of those mini boxes of nerds because those are top notch candy you remove any chuckles if you got any chuckles Those are top notch candy you're honor You're removing gummy worms or bears Everything else goes in the trash now you go back to your chocolate and what you do is you hide pieces of the chocolate you Sorry step one you Starburst currently in the trash. I It's I'm standing my and there they will remain

Then you get extremely drunk. Yes, I know you were a child, but you get drunk then you go back Your time is up. Hold on You go back to your chocolate and you hide pieces all over the house Now for the honor able melt your honor, please justice Now for the next I've lost control. I've lost control now for the next five years holy, I went into my jeans and I found this. Amazing. I am ready to issue my verdict. No one wants a squished melted Milky Way, your honor. I am ready to issue my verdict.

My verdict is, you are both wrong. What you do is you've simply started far too late. You must start earlier. As you are trick-or-treating with your brothers, you will start to float the idea of when you get home. You will all dump your bags into the middle and make one big candy pile. You get the idea of one big...

Communist pile. You get the idea, let me finish. You get the idea of one big candy pile, so fervently obsessed in your brother's heads that it's all they can think about. Now, once you have one big candy pile so Affervently obsessed in your brother's heads that it's all they can think about now once you have one big candy pile Someone must sort out the candy from the big pile and that is where Your genius truly comes into play because you're separating the candy into three piles and Maybe you see that there are four Reese cups. Well, certainly someone can't have

You know one Reese cup left over someone must get two Reese cups and who gets certainly someone can't have, you know, one Reese cup left over, someone must get two Reese cups and who gets it? The man who sorts it. Sir, how can you guarantee you are the sorter and not the victim of this terrible system? You're only the victim if you allow yourself to beat a big sump. You're on the sorter because I'm the one who sorts. When you see somebody sorting, you see my fucking face and you say, please can I have a Reese cup sir? And if I fucking deem to give you a Reese cup then you'll get one and if I don't then you eat fucking nothing You eat starbursts out of Atlas trash you eat errands left over

Mountain You created a candy mountain. I was born in one you both have garbage plans and I don't trust either of you with my life garbage Starburst yeah boy Okay, I'm throwing a star at'll be honest with me. Have you in your time on earth thrown a starburst in the trash? I sure let me be fully honest. This is no. I'm not I don't want to be hyperbolic I don't want to lie. I'm gonna be fully honest with you Aaron. I have thrown away So much trash candy in my life. I forget what I've thrown away. I 100% have thrown away yellow and orange starbursts. Don't.

Don't. Those two can go to hell. And I'll see them there. I'll see them and eat them there. But on this mortal coil, I have no time or room to waste on yellow and orange starburst. You don't mean it. I do. You don't mean it? And Aaron, you know what? You're a yellow and orange starburst. I want I want for my birthday a full bowl of orange starbursts Why would you want to ruin your birthday? It's my favorite candy whatever JBC orange you'll be getting a full toilet bowl of orange starburst because you'll be puking them all up Orange is are meant to be juiced or they're meant to be infused inside a chocolate orange shaped device candy and then wrapped in tin foil. Those are the only two ways to consume orange.

Amen to that. Juice or the orange chocolate. Orangeies are incredible. Those are incredible. Aaron, you've never had one, right? No, you made me have one at one of our recordings. And yes, it was good with this. right no you made me have one at one of our recordings and yes it was good. Well I made you add one I think I bought you one as a treat. Yeah you made it.

You gave me a gift same thing. I need a minute I'm gonna put my cardigan on go to I'm gonna stop by Aaron. I'll end. You mean those things that you force upon her? I'm gonna stop by Aaron gifts because now when people see it she'll be like oh what's that beautiful You mean those things that you force upon her? I want somebody here gifts, because now when people see it, she'll be like, oh, what's that beautiful print from? And she'll be like, add a force to this on me. Adel made me go to a Broadway show with him.

It was lovely, I cried. Look, I think we can all admit that we may need some time to cool down that we got pretty heated. Why don't we just take some time? Listen to some advertisers and we'll come back and attack this thing with really some fresh heads and some fresh perspective. Why aren't we in the middle of a riddle? Mom.

Yes, Addle. Are you still with Dracula? Right now. Ah, Dracula, can you take us to break? No. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.

We wanna play, we wanna play! Yeah! I'm a plus! Hey, GPC. Uh, uh, yeah? You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking, adult, and I'm setting trouble. I just need help. I'm Prinking at all and I'm setting up a website to Okay, I just need some advice this podcast is sponsored by Squarespace

I'm not I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Spaces the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website at gauge with your audience and say, let anything for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms.

Hey, Otto, come here, come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I wanna prank JPC and I wanna set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace,

you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening?

Okay. Wait, what's going on with Addle? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna shoot you. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from.

That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my Prank website, the Prank site tool. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for.

Prank. With Squarespace. You can connect to your store to Vedent Dirt Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial.

And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back. She's back. Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait. I've been pranked.

But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adel and JPC. Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an empath. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods.

Isn't it funny to think about something like that? There never truly is a middle of the woods. No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually. So, as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help.

I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices, and the path forward isn't always clear.

Whether you're dealing with decisions around career, relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Mm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible,

and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist, and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge.

Hey, Aaron, a JPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Oh, dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month.

That's betterhelp. H-E-L-P.com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the middle of D-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the T-E-L-I-D-D-C, hoping at home. Bye, baby! I am home! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday,

and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I wanna talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Bunny. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Mm-hmm. Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions,

monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, uh, sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel and Rocket Money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Clint, Clint, Clint.

It also categorizes your expenses. So you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off. Over three million, over three million people have used Rocket Money, saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love Rocket Money here. Stop, stop, stop, no, click, click, click, stop.

Throwing your money away, cancel unwirted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocket money.com slash riddle. That's rocket money.com slash riddle. Rocket money.com slash riddle rock at money dot com slash riddle Intel and JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love saying, Aaron and JPC, I, the devil, will grant you whatever you want, as long as I get your soul. You have a little something right here, devil. Here? Yeah, other size.

Oh, it looks like sour cream. Oh, I had a burrito. A bird, a burrito? That's just a burrito with a bird in it. It's a bird inside Judge Edo, and I ate it. It's a bird inside Judge Edo. Yes, I'm- Judge Lance Edo.

Yeah, he's in hell. Is he dead? I don't know. Then why is he in hell? I'd have to go to it. What do you two want in exchange for your souls? Now, JPC, you said something about a tank top. No, that was for my soul.

Oh. Like I what? Oh, for my soul in exchange. No, no, no, I thought you were saying, can't I get my soul a tank top? Oh. Just like a soul tank top to wear for the four of my soul. I could do that.

Mr. Devil, you have something in your teeth. Oh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, your teeth Yeah, yeah, okay, oh, and there's nothing on your shirt. Oh Knows All right, well, that's what I wanted Aaron now Aaron you said you want to be 50 feet taller. Really think about this. Yeah, Aaron, there might be some weird monkeys paw thing here. So really think about it, do you really want to be 50 feet taller? Well no, there's no monkeys paw, I'm not gonna trick you.

50 feet taller is just kind of bonkers. So really think about it, your life would be very different. Still, there might be a trick here, Aaron, so be careful. Yes. Yes. Okay. Ah, there you go. You now have 52 feet. Damn, she's tall.

Wow. Hey, what's your story? No, on her legs, she has 52 feet. Yeah, they look great. I guess they are one on top of the other, so yeah, I guess you got very tall. Turned into a bat and flies away. I Love checking with the devil once a year It's always nice. It's always nice. Well, I feel like he'll always check it and be like are we still good for the soul thing

And you can kind of negotiate and be like well, it's kind of like a you know like contracts like sports contracts Yeah, or like a mortgage. Yeah, you have an option. You have your player option. You have them. Yeah, or like a mortgage. You have an option. You have your player option. Yeah, you could, yep, readjust. Uh-huh. Yes. JPC. Yes. What are you being for Halloween this year? Something's good game. Something with this good game. Probably. I mean, I think I'd say this every year, but I'll be an adult for Halloween, which means I don't dress up like a little fucking kid. I'll be an adult for Halloween. I don't like things that are fun.

Damn. Aaron's being JPC for Halloween. The thing that I don't love about Halloween is that my dog truly does not understand Halloween. So she doesn't understand why people will be coming up to the house, knocking on the door or like talking on the porch, and she'll just freak out the whole time, because she's a guard dog.

So there's no way that I could be like, hey, for just this one night, let's give everybody a pass. Let's just let the neighborhood be. Yeah, they're coming up in weird costumes that probably smell very different. Don't worry about that. Let's just be chill.

So my Halloween will be spent, you know, making sure that my dog is not just like having the worst anxious night of her life. That'll be fun. Smelling the inside of any Halloween mask, it probably takes three months off your life. Oh yeah. Like those chemicals you smell. Just nasty stuff. That's the worst. Aaron, did you say what you're gonna be? Uh, not yet. Well, I'm a little bit bummed because I have been living in an apartment for so many years and this year I'm kind of in like a house apartment, so I would have been able to hand out candy, but I'm going to be in Chicago.

So I'm celebrating Halloween there, and with my old roommate, her boyfriend and my boyfriend, we're being the four grandparents from Willy Wonka, because we want to sit in the bed the whole party. Hell yeah. And one of us has to leave to go to a play rehearsal. And so he's going to be the grandpa that gets to go. So the three of us will just be sitting in a bed. Charlie Charlie. Pretty good. I've finally hacked it. I've been asking her to do it for like seven years. That costume with me. And then she finally agreed right when I moved. Do one of the grandpas in that movie be doing the washing

or is that someone else is doing like the washing in the big bucket? That's the mom or yeah, the mom. It's the mom, yeah. Man, washing in that big bucket looks fun. Those clothes look so dirty. It looks like it's just getting dirtier in that big bucket. I love that those like sort of washboard things

that you clean on. We're doing that on field trips. I've only seen and heard those in Emma and Otter's Jugban Christmas. I've never seen one in real life. I've never heard somebody play one. I've never seen someone use one. I've only seen it in Emma and Otter's Jugban Christmas.

You're about to get a bunch of YouTube videos later when I'm wide-drawn. We had a place in the end of called Conor Prairie and it was like an old-timey thing where they had character people going around and doing shit like that and place in the end called Connor Prairie and it was like an old tiny thing where they had like character people like going around and doing shit like that and dressing in the old garb. Who is it like? Connor Prairie sounds like a really funny fake name for a guy.

No, no, Connor, it was not an Amish community, it was like actors and stuff. It was like a, like a historic, like a reenactment. Yeah, that's Amish. I love those places. You didn't, hold on. You didn't know that the Amish were all actors. That's true. And so, uh, rummishpring is like contracts negotiations. Love those places you didn't hold on you didn't know that the Amish role actors That's true and so rummage spring is like contracts negotiations like what exactly that's like our sag

Yeah, yeah, are you are you sag? No, I'm rum Shrinha You guys away my An idea I have for a sitcom for free. Yeah, sure. Yeah, of course all you can always give ideas away for free I'm so I'm gonna flip the switch. Okay, the listeners can't hear us. Oh great. I love when you do that. Farts, farts, farts, farts. Farts, farts, farts, farts.

Just on the off chance that they can hear us, I'm not gonna say anything. Just on the off chance. Titties and cream cheese. No, sorry, I left it on. Okay, now it's on. Now it's on. Yeah, I don't see now, I don't believe you. Um, so I want to do a sitcom that I'm obsessed with those historical reenactment places. I think they're hilarious. I love how committed the staff members are there. So I want to do a sitcom, like a workplace comedy that takes place at those sort of pilgrim reenactment places.

And it's interweaves between them in real life, the actors playing these people, and then their drama in character. And it starts to like mirror it. I think that would be really, really funny. Because then you're playing with like genre specific comedy, because they're in character for half of it. I would really love to do that. So if anyone has any money,

I won't even be in it, because I'm a terrible actress. I'll write it. I'll put other funny people in it. Aaron, you're not a terrible actress. Contact Aaron. I like the idea of like, because I know they have to constantly stay in character.

So it's like, if you take out your phone and you're in like an 1800s village or something, they'll be like, sounds, sir, what lantern is this? And I think it'd be fun to just be like, hey dude, it's a fucking iPhone 13, okay? We all know this. Yeah, they get scandalized. My favorite, I told the story on the show so many times,

but it's my favorite thing is when I took Sean to the one of those in Massachusetts, and we were in a house alone with this woman who was like playing a young girl. And you can ask them questions. And Sean was being super polite and was asking a ton of questions. And he was like, hey, so when you get married,

do you, how much say do you get to have and who you marry or like do the adults in your life decide? In this woman pretended to be so scandalized, like she was like, I am much too young to think anything about marriage and she was older than us, this actress. No. And I was like, you are 30.

You are 30. He's asking a historical question. I am interested in that as well. How much autonomy do these young girls have? If you haven't listened to any previous episodes, Aaron very much does not like the word 30. She is turning 30 in just a few weeks here. I love the fun.

I love the fun. But yes, I love the fun. Would it be fun to rent a house and do one of those periods, like you're saying where you go back in time and it's like, oh, you're on a farm in 1622 and here's how things went. Would it be fun to do that with a house

and turn it into like 1994? And we all dress as like people in 1994 and we only know that those references and words. So it's a lot of like, hey, tubular, calvunga, come on in. Like that guy's love. Hold on, yes. I will answer you in the parlance of night to 94. Thank you Yeah, that sounds like a really great idea, Adel

Not oh I know you are but what am I nice board your ass as if damn 94 doors today, man You got got I think we have to do this. Okay speaking of we have to do this. Why don't we do a few more riddles? Yeah, why not it's Halloween do this, why don't we do a few more riddles? Yeah, why not? It's Halloween. Who fucking cares? Okay, here we go. Here's our next riddle. What we caught we threw away. We kept what we didn't catch. What was it that we kept? Fish. Not a bad guess, either of you, but What we caught we threw away we kept what we didn't catch. What was it that we kept?

You caught some little fucking fish that's like inedible so you threw that away But you kept the fucking memory of you and your dad on that boat Yeah, I was like to see a scene You are a father and son who are bonding, but not catching any fish that are edible. Hey, pops. Yeah, boy. Look at this. Look what I caught.

Oh. Isn't that beautiful? It is. It's a very pretty fish, son, but you but, uh, you got to throw it back. It's not something that we're necessarily going to be able to fry. Oh, I mean, is there other ways to eat it besides frying? It's not something that we can consume, son. Uh, so you're going to have to throw it back.

Can I kiss it? Nope. Uh, you can't kiss it. You're going to have to just put it right back where you found it. And I got to ask you yeah uh Jeremy Stop catching this fish, okay? This is a dead fish floating on the top of the lake. Okay, we keep throwing it back

You keep pulling it back under the boat. Well, you you told me that Good. No, it's falling apart. This looks falling apart. Let's just let it be where it needs to be And we're gonna try to focus on catching some live fish. But we can eat. But that if I may, you always told me that if you let something go and it comes back to you, it was meant to be. And every time I threw this fish in the water, it comes right back to the side of the boat. You pick it up and you grab it. You grab it. So that saying is true Jeremy, but it doesn't, you can't pick up and grab something, then it didn't come back to you. You forced it back to you. Okay.

And honestly Jeremy, that was more about romantic partners. Oh, what is that? Yeah, that was a metaphor for just romantic partners that you might find in your life. So why can't you keep a fish, a.k.a. woman? Um, alright. You always say there's plenty of fish in the sea, but I do. You've never seen to have a fish by your side or in your bed. I, I guess I don't know what I want and it makes it hard for someone to want me. Does that make sense?

Not really, but maybe one day. Yeah, I think it's more, well, I, I mean, I think like I'm seeking a physical, physical connection, but I'm frightened of the emotional connection. Hey, Dan. You know, again, you say there's plenty of fish in the sea, but again, you don't have any quote unquote fish. Do you think there's something wrong with your rod? I think that there's almost something

too right with my rod. If anything, if anything, my rod is not something that you would like buy off the shelf in a lot of stores, it's more like a special order item. And I think that a lot of people see it and they kind of don't, they kind of don't know what to do with it. Like, it's got that like weird flipper thing at the top where you put it up to spin to reverse. And hell, I feel like if I had a manual for my rod that I could just give to a person it would clear up a lot of things. Can we go home?

Yeah! We should! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! It's probably done. Is this a Halloween themed answer. Ish in terms of the answer is something kind of gross and creepy. But it's not necessarily associated with Halloween, but it is gross and happy.

And ABC, I just want to say I wish I forget the guys name little John. Is that him? I just like to hear that song, but it's all him going. Non-committal little junk. Yeah, yeah. Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude And this is something Aaron, we were talking about bugs on your eyebrows or in your mouth. This is not too far off from that. Maybe a little further north. Maybe a little further north.

Lice. Yeah, that's it. Well, we caught with her away. We kept what we didn't catch. That is lice. That makes sense. Did that make sense? Did either of you ever have lice?

Yes. Lice, that's the one where you, that's a, is lice the same as scoliosis? Yes. Thenice, that's the one where you, that's a, is Lice the same as scoliosis? Yes. Yes, I've had life. Lice is where your spine is real weird. Um, but you never never had Lice. You can't with Lice all. Aaron, what was it like to have Lice? Well, so it was kind of stressful because I got scared that

people would be mad at me. Um, but when I remember like putting my head down on my kitchen counter and my mom getting a comb and like going through my hair to check and see if I had lice and it was so relaxing. And then we like got rid of the lice and you have to wash everything your house and I like couldn't go to school for a day. But it felt so good to have my mom comb through my hair. I'd be like, I'd lie for the rest of second and third grade and go like, hey mom, I think I might have Lice. And she's like, you don't have Lice.

You just want me to comb your hair. And I'm like, no, no, it's very, very itchy, mom. You should just double check, because what if I actually do? And then you'll feel really bad. And in fact, everyone at school. So I was just slamming my head down to the kitchen counter once a month and having my mom check for life.

Do you remember how you got it? Was it another kid at your school that transferred it to you or were you the Lice Founder I think I was the founder of Lice I think well Me and another girl got it the same time. I think from like a dance class which is girls in a bunch of different schools But I think her and I brought it in and then then it was a big, a big to-do. But I love the attention. What kind of dancing were you doing that Lice got on you? Like, it was like all-round.

It's called head dancing, where you push your head against someone else and then roll it around. All right, so Adel, you may not be familiar with this, it's called Little Kids Are Fucking Disgusting. And they rub their dirty hands all over each other for no fucking reason. So it's not like you walked in and they're like blaring Willow Smith and you have to whip your hair back and forth and it just flies everywhere. My nieces went back to daycare after like being home during all the pandemic and my sister was like they've been sick

the whole time. Not with the same sickness. They just get every single cold. They have no immune system, so they're just constantly sick. So what your sister might have said is, ooh, wah, wah. Yeah, 100%. That was like this. Never had Lice.

My older brother had a tick that got on him when we were camping once, and that was, it was wild to see, you have to like get that tick out, because they dig down into your skin like they get in there. Those tick, they, they don't want to come out. Lou had a tick recently. Oh, oh, don't you have to burn them off?

You can like burn them off, freeze them off or like cut them out basically. Yeah, there's, there's like different, different, I think he had to burn his out. I think that, I think also like if you ignore them, they go away. Yeah, I think he had to burn his out. I think that, I think that, I think also if you ignore them, they go away. Yeah, I think so too, like most things. I think he, he had like, he a needle, like burn a needle because we were camping and then like press the needle in to like get the tick to like, ah!

I wanna see you soon. JPC, you were just in the forest on a camping trip with friends, you just came home, you're in the shower and you've realized that you have attached to on your body, a tick played by Aaron. Okay, Google, play Halo by Beyoncé. Perfect shower song, exactly five minutes long. That's all the time it had to be a bit.

I love this one. Ah, what the fuck? Oh, hey, Mr. Chief. Sorry, this is Mr. Chief. Ah, boo, boo, boo, boo. Hey, Adel. Huh? Hey, Adel, real quick.

Yeah. Don't fuck with that Beyoncé song. Okay, that's not it. That's not it. Okay. And we respect that song. I'm so sorry, I'll bail out. No, Edel. Hey Edel, real quick. Yeah. Don't fuck with that, Beyonce song. Okay, that's not it. Okay. And we respect that song. I'm so sorry, I'll bail out. No, no, no worries. Sorry, I wasn't gonna say anything in this feels a little invasive now that you're in

the shower, but I love the song. Hey man, I can raise time. Roman in the dark is not. It's the perfect shower song because it has these ebbs and flows. So it's like, oh, the song is ending. I probably have been in the shower too long, but I have like another minute and a half so I can like finish you know like Rids what the fuck are you doing on my body? Let me see a hello

Hello First of all hey you're off key I am? Oh my god, then help me out. I'm not trying to be him Okay, well anyone who's going up against Beyonce is gonna be off key because you can't hit what she hits I feel like I am, is this wrong? Hit me like a race, though It's wrong Because it's coming out of your mouth and it's not coming out of a fucking queen's mouth. That's why it's wrong

You're being really mean. I'd say you unnecessarily mean you're a bug Wow Wow, well, I'm looking at your muscles right now and you're not that strong. In your blood? Disgusting. First of all, this isn't even my good blood. This is my camping blood. Let me be home and eating my normal diet for two days and then you'll taste good blood.

Yeah, you taste like some mors. But like too much, like some mors. How much do you have any protein? You're called some mors. You've got to keep having some mores. How much do you have any protein? They're called some mores. You gotta keep having some more of them, okay? Disgusting. It feels like it was mostly marshmallows too. I was on vacation.

I- That's not where I'm my best self. No one is their best self camping. Let me see, I hate love. Same. I'll see another riddle here. This is gonna be first person perspective. My wife was attacked, sorry, my wife was attacked by a burglar

when I was on my way home from work. She stabbed him with a butcher knife and killed him. Nice. The detective said it was an obvious case of self-defense. When I next talked to her, she said, I heard the doorbell, I thought it was you, but then a masked man jumped out at me as soon as I opened the door. I said thought it was you, but then a masked man jumped out at me as soon as I opened the door.

I said to her, you must have been so scared. But you're safe now, and I hugged her tightly. How did she kill the burglar so fast when he attacked her at the door? Uh... She was planning on killing you, dude. Obviously, she was planning on killing that husband. Ding, ding, ding! His wife came to the door with a butcher knife because she thought her husband was coming home

She was planning to kill her husband. I want to see a scene. Good for this is not how women kill They don't kill you with a butcher knife at the door. They do with a smile. I think they do poison, right? Women tend to poison and men and tins to butcher. Women kill you by saying, I think you missed the turn. I think you missed the turn. Gemma. I love the TikTok videos of like things to say to straight men to devastate them.

I don't know if you've seen those, I love those though. I'd like to see a quick scene. Sure. Um, JPC, let's see here. JPC, you are coming home to your wife, which is Aaron. Aaron, you're planning on killing JPC, but JPC has brought home a work friend, and so you have to either delay the killing or kill quickly before the work friend sees what's going on.

Great. Hey Michelle. Hey Michelle. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Michelle. Great. Nidididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididid to cut the cheese. Yeah, God forbid I explained something to you because you're not an idiot. Using a shame saw, you could a show a kudri board. She's just like you described her Jeff. Come on in.

This is Bill. Oh, thank you. Bill is from the office. He's from accounting. Not the TV show. I wish. I wanted to show him the urinal. I just had installed it all the bathrooms.

Yeah, sure. I am just gonna chop some firewood with this axe. Just to keep it sharp and just make sure it's done. And then help yourself to a drink. Okay, chopping wood does not keep an axe sharp. It dulls an axe. It would dull an axe on each of the hair. I'm such a dumb little baby what would I do without you to be here to explain things to me. Yeah I have no idea I just don't know. I'm

sorry you did you or Jeff from work? I think I'm Jeff. I'm sorry I'm I'm sorry we had so many drinks at the end. We can only really drink. We can only really get you each beer. Bill, you have this beer. This is your beer. Okay. And Jeff, this is your beer. Uh-oh, but you forgot today, switch day. I grabbed that beer and drink it down.

Oh, I dropped both beers. Let me go get you another one. It's okay. Again, we are a very drunk. We just came from drinking. And part of the reason I wanted to bring him home was so we could piss in the urinal. Oh, great, great, great, great. Urinal.

More like I'm an ol. I'm an ol piss in the urinal. Bill just got an enolmit. So that's, that's got to work. It's, it's, it's, I talked down to my wife too often. So I guess maybe, I guess maybe you guys don't know a bit. I forgot I could, okay, I could just leave you. You know what?

I want an enolman, I want a divorce. Well, okay, just so everyone's clear, I don't know what it is! I'll see. Oh, fantastic. Very good, very good. Why did anybody hear an enol in every room that sucks hard? So there was someone who put their house up on my block, house up for sale on my block, and they're also the person

that flies a blue lives matter flag on the block, so we're thrilled to have them leaving. And as soon as they put their house on the market, we started looking at the pictures, and it was on a walk, and I said, Mariah, I'm not gonna spoil this for you. I'm sending you this listing. Would we get home?

You have to look at it. And I wanted to see your face when you find it. And she scrolled through the photos, scrolled through the photos. And their basement is like a man cave. And like, you know, a fucking typical, like, just, you know, a bar and a pool table. And like, dear, it was a star.

Arms chairs and like the lazy person. And the bathroom down there has a fucking urinal in it. I've never seen a urinal in a person's house and I was like, of fucking course, this person would put a fucking urinal in their house. That's such an expensive useless thing. I mean, men need space to spread their wings in a place where they don't have to be beta dummies

They can be alpha males down there hanging out with other dudes and peeing in a little thing that isn't a toilet I have to admit something and JPG. I'm sorry to blow our cover. I don't do this But I something that men do and I don't know if women know about this every single time I go to the urinal every single time I cannot stress every single time I go to the urinal, every single time I cannot stress, every single time I go to the urinal. Somebody walks up to the urinal next to me or a few urinals down and they spit in the urinal and then after they spit, then they do their business.

But I've never seen 99% of men spit in the urinal first and then fee, I don't understand it. I don't know where it comes from, I don't know why they do it, but every man seems to do that. Aaron, I will shock you and say I've never seen a person do that. I truly have never seen a person do that. Okay, I like I like I've I've I want to attention. I wanted to know that's real. Casey said what math. I'm saying you go again. I truly have never heard that.

Exclusively P at Riglyfield. Yeah, I guess if you go in like in a sports bar that might be like, I don't know. But at the airport, at the airport, at restaurants, anywhere I go, men do this. I might be alone. I might be seeing things that aren't there. Maybe I'm seeing what I want to see. Maybe these men are spinning under this.

We're giving a lot of rope and he's a viral man. Here's something I'll say about urinal. I have never seen a clean urinal in my entire life and I've never seen a urinal in thought like, gotta get one of these in my house. Gotta be the person responsible for cleaning this thing. This fucking horrible device. Well speaking of being the person responsible,

I'm responsible for Blower to Riddle Part Four and we have two quick things we need to get through before the end, which is approaching very quickly. So if we can, do you hear that sound? Do you hear that sound? I don't it's the Halloween animal parade Oh Let's see what spooky things are in the parade. I love it. I'll go first. Yes three minutes until the end of the episode This is the time we're introducing the Halloween animal purer. Yes. Okay. Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-uh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-uh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-uh-duh- And the last thing we have to do, which I believe, I think we've done it at previous three, maybe we've only done it at the previous two

But I think every single blebber at a riddle we've had some sort of rap for daddy Which is an honor of Bort picket of monster mass monster mash fame He's saying another song that's the worst song ever made But it's the best song ever made called monster rap, where he says wrap for daddy and Frankenstein wraps. So we're going to do one quick monster wrap for each of you. You do have to wrap for daddy. I'll give you a topic and you just have to do your best to wrap. Who would like to go first, Aaron or JPC? I'll go first, yeah, please. Great. JPC, you're going to wrap for daddy and your topic that you're going to wrap about is going to be clowns.

Yo, my name is JPC and you know I love to get down but I don't fuck around with the little clown. These things are scary. I don't like their painted faces. If I see your clown, I get to a different face. I want to leave the room with a sea of clown around, because I don't fuck around with no fucking clowns. Yeah. Very nice. Very nice. Aaron, are you ready? Yeah. Okay. And these do need to have some amount of rhyming.

What are you implying? No, I of rhyming. What are you implying? No, I'm just saying. I'm, I'm, what are you trying to say? One of the three of us, I can't remember who said rhymed Toronto with Pronto. It was great, but it was a panicked rhyme. Maybe it was me, it was me. So Aaron, your topic you're going to wrap about is

which is? Okay, give me one moment. Okay, that's a lot. That's part of the rules. I know something that's very mean. I know something that's very green. No, I'm not trying to be funny and I'm not talking even talking about money. Okay. I'm not trying to be a bitch, but I would like to tell you, I'm talking about a witch. Okay. Give me one second, I'm getting a call. That's a laugh.

That's a laugh. I'm getting a call. Who is it, Erin? Hey, yeah, I, hello. Hello. Hey, I ordered sushi a couple hours ago. I'm not here yet. Oh, you called me though.

So I'm going to do. I called you. Yeah, I called you. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. No, this is your doctor? Oh, you told me though. So I've been at it about that. Now this is your doctor. Oh hi. Yeah, I just wanted to give you your test results. Your mercury levels are through the roof. You have to stop eating sushi for every meal. Alright, well I was going to make up an excuse,

but I kind of told you what my whole deal was when I told you the sushi thing. Yeah, just so you know you cannot eat that sushi anymore. Are you sure? Because you could die. Hold on, let me check my wall. Harvard Medical School. OK, I think I'm very sure. Thank you so much, sir. OK, goodbye.

I'm about to leave the room and then fly off on my broom. Woo! Wow. That was great. Nice work, Ivory. Nice work, Ivory. Were you talking to that doctor who takes a Sharpie and scrolls Harvard medical on any wall? He's near. Yeah, I'm thinking about murdering him. So he'll stop man-splaining things to me that doctor

I'm feeling sunlight. I hate it. I hate it when a doctor man's plans to be I Get it. I got a stop eating mercury. You have Oh, do I? I will Yes. I will. Okay. You've never been a woman at a doctor's office. I know. I know. I have had male OBGYNs try to explain period pain to me. And you know what I've done?

Kicks them right in the teeth and called their wives and told them to divorce them. And then I throw the phone down on him. Most doctors are pretty reasonable. Most doctors are pretty reasonable. Most doctors are pretty reasonable level headed people. They don't have like weird God complexes. OGBY because fuck you. Well, that is our bleh riddle riddle. Part four. It's been episode four, isn't that insane? We have one final thing before plugs, which is we have to hear next year's riddle, which we won't get an answer for

Yeah, that's right. So here we go for next year for 2022 if that's still if earth is still alive I'm gonna get it in one. Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? For shit, Sid Giggles got it one got it in a plug all in fun. Yeah, are you anything to plug? No No, I don't can you make something up? Um, no You know what follow us on Instagram at hey riddle riddle a lot of like live show announcements happen there Also, we have a live show coming up Very very soon. So like

less than a week away. So check that out. But if you want to be up to date on all of our announcements, I'd say follow us on Twitter at Hey Riddle, Riddle and Instagram at Hey Riddle, Riddle. Yeah. And the live show you can either watch it home with a live stream or you can attend in person if you live in Chicago and you are vaccinated with a proof of vaccine. JPC, do you have anything to plug? I'm on Twitter at JP so fly on Instagram and Twitch at Shark Parkman. Addle anything to plug. Yeah, I did a recent podcast called Backwater Bastards. So please check that out.

Also, I want to, I think I failed to do this previously. I want to thank Dan Sistema and everyone who came out to the crawlspace theater for World News Tonight. JPC and I performed there a few weeks ago in Kalamazoo we had a blast. And then also check out the Hey Riddler Riddler Patreon. If you're not a Patreon member, I gotta say, what a wonderful gift for the holidays,

for yourself and for others. It's some of our best work over there. I highly recommend you check it out. We're about to do, yeah, Saddle Saddle, that comes out on this week. It is, Addle did such a good job. I can't stop thinking about it. He wrote it and it's so funny and so good.

And JPC cracks me up in it too. So definitely check that out. And Aaron is phenomenal in it. And so is JPC. And I wrote it. Thank you. Thank you. Aaron, I don't know if you know this, but JPC, um, JPC has this condition where

every time something comes out at night, he turns into a world. It's not the moon though. It's a different, it's a different thing that, oh, it's coming out right now. Look, look, he's changing. It's stupid. Look, look, JPC's changing. Don't look at that. All right. Oh,el cheese get up some privacy. He's taking off his shirt hold on he's changing. He's changing Hey, Adel can I talk to you? Yeah? What the fuck man? I thought I saw Jupiter come out and it looked like you were changing and so I As soon as I started changing you spit on your own dick. What's that about?

Casey you can get us out of here, please Can you see Tomie? He's the editor of the guitarist's horror maker. Read the book! Cardi is headed on the third. What? Choo! Choo! Choo! Look how creative I am with the cardedron. And have a slide for teamers. Choo! Why? Pre-for-

Play, Pre-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for- Re-for Bye for never. Oh, that was a better one. Hey there, saddles and saddles. Great news. We hit our Patreon stretch goal. So this week on the Patreon, we bring you part one of YAH, Saddle Saddle. You can listen to that plus our entire Bat catalog at patreon.com, such hey, Riddle Riddle, by joining the Clue Crew for $5 a month or the Review Crew for $8 a month.

See ya there!