Hey Riddle Riddle - #172: The Riddle Floor

Episode Date: November 3, 2021

It wouldn’t be Wednesday without some Riddles! This week we have riddles submitted by listeners, a chess funeral, and the return of Pretzel Jesus and JP Riddles. The crew crew also gets stuck on an elevator for 5 whole minutes. Then Erin remembers the date of a historical event and WILL NOT LET IT GO. Stick around for a conman barber and an incompetent sommelier. Have a great week! Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. And we're gonna be right here. One, two, three, four, eight, Rick the Rick Zone. What floor? I'm going to three. Oh three. 17 for me. Thank you. I'm going to three. 17. 17 for me. Thank you. I'm going to the riddle floor. Oh, actually, can you change mine to roof?

Sure. We're going to stop it three. Still, but we don't know. That's a good idea. Well, that's how elevators work, man. You asked for three and you can't unpress an elevator button Oh my god, you should be able to unpress an elevator button Wow, can we make that technology also buddy?

You should stop thinking about elevators and start thinking about how to elevate her oh We're not together. We're strange. Oh, oh, I just assumed you're both the same you're both the same height So I assume what can I can I ask you a question? Can I ask you a question? Was it the way that I was looking at her? I gotta stop looking at people that way. Because doctors have told me that I have fallen love eyes. Doctors? Eye doctors, probably right?

Doctors? Well, they're optatricians? Optatatricians? Othatricians. Othomatricians. That's not an eye doctor. God, thank God. Thank God. Becauseicians. That's not an eye doctor. God, thank God. Thank God.

Because with their prices, they better not be eye doctors. Optometrist? Thank you. Uh, but yeah, that's... Exactly, and that might be the feedback that I'm getting. So I don't know. It's good that someone called it out

and maim eye apologize, because I get... Dean, oh, we're at the seventh floor. The seventh floor. Who said seventh? You did. I said, three. Oh, okay. Hoops said seven. You did. I said, three. Oh, okay, someone I accidentally, hold on, hold on, hold on.

Just stay here, stay here. Can we just hit the 10 button? Since we're already on seven, hit the 10 button. That will add up to 17, okay. Okay, yeah, 10. Can I ask you, Ma'am, what, one, thank you so much for pressing the buttons. Two, make it fun.

Make it fun, love, wait. Thank you. What, what, what, what, what, what that is sort of my observation. Make it fun, I love it. You. The one standing closest to the buttons, I totally get it. What is on the riddle floor, can I ask? It's a podcast called Hey Riddle Riddle. I've heard it out. It's been going on for what feels like 10 years.

Oh, you've heard enough? OK, no problem. Wait, I've heard of that podcast. Oh, you have good things? Probably. You know, it's like when someone says something, and as you're going about your day here, we are on 10 actually, this is 10.

Okay, so that didn't work. Why the hell did you, you don't have to say dig, the elevator already said it. Oh, okay, I'm so sorry. I like to say ding just in case someone didn't hear the ding. I am gonna press 17 now. Thank you. I think it's what I think we're like,

you remember a dream because someone said something that you only referenced in the dream. So I know that I've heard of Hey Rinal Rinal, I just don't know that I've listened to it. And my gut reaction tells me I wouldn't like it. Well, great. Ding! Oh, I'm third floor now.

Oh, fuck. 17. Oh, this is the third floor? It is. All right, starting over. I got out at 10 and hit the down button. And so, okay. And did you say you had an appointment on the riddle floor? I'm actually a host on the riddle floor. We can, I'm not worried about getting there on time. They'll be okay without the old stuff. So do you like, you sit people down at their tables and stuff?

No, that would be a worthy way to spend your life and your time. I do a riddle podcast, which is, I know it takes from the world. I can't quite quantify how much it takes. Oh, not a joke. All right. So, in the third floor now. Great. So, what do people just stand like who takes them to their tables?

Well, it's actually no restaurant is involved at all. And I love that this is a really good question. I'm glad that we're talking about it, but yeah, no restaurant. It's just sort of riddles, but we're kind of lukewarm on riddles, but actually this year we kind of love them. I was trying to gauge what a podcast was

through only context clues, and so I think I'm way off. Ding! All right, we're on the 17th floor. Okay, I keep doing this. This is where my ex-wife lives. I don't live here anymore. Where do you live, sir? I'll have to take my helicopter to wherever I live, so the roof is fine for me as well. I'll get off this.

Alright, I'm going. Can I go right? Why were you going to the roof? Well, I was going to try and jump over to my hotel, but a helicopter ride would be quicker. Oh, absolutely. You mean that? Okay, so you're actually, sir, you're staying at the hotel across the street? Yeah, but I find it's easier to get up to the roof of this building, jump off that onto my building, and then take the stairs down.

Why? Because their elevator is so erratic. Yeah, it's just sucks. This is wild. I'm actually staying at the hotel next door as well, until my divorce is like final final. So I don't mind giving you a helicopter ride right over there. They've got a great landing pad. Thank you so much. That would be fantastic. Thank you. And I'll get out right before you guys because it goes riddle floor roof. So this is what workout grade. Oh, so what floor if there's numerically what floor is the riddle floor or is it just called riddle floor? Well, sometimes it disappears.

You know how like some buildings don't have a 13th floor? Wayside, sideways stories from Wayside High? Wayside School, yes, of course. I love those books. Those are great books. You get it. Other books?

I just do it with phrase. And I'm only familiar with the porn version. The what, sir? So what's the porn version? Sideways, ding. Well, here it looks like we're here in the riddle floor. Oh. The what sir? So what's the porn version sideways? Uh... Ding! Well, here it looks like we're here on the Rural Floor. Oh, okay.

Crazy idea, crazy idea, wild idea. Please don't ask me out, I can tell by your eyes that you will see out. Oh, I get it, it's doctors say that that is a problem for me. Uh, sir, I didn't quite catch your name. My name? Yeah. My name is Adel Refin. Well, my name is John Patrick Cohen, I go by JPC.

Would it be a crazy imposition if my new friend Adel and I came with you Oh the doors are closing okay I know no way to stop it oh well we're on the floor and you're still in the elevator so bye I guess she's going to the roof do you see you want to host this episode? I don't know if you're right to do it with that air. Why don't we do this with other roof? And I'm good. OK. And the podcasting award for the best introductory opening bit to a podcast goes to Dungeons and Datties.

This American life, no one's not camp. Oh. It's the Ira Glass ceiling. I'm taking the stairs. American life. No. I'm taking the stairs. Welcome to Hey Roto Rittles. This is a podcast about Rettles, but it's also an exercise for three friends to maybe have a good time. It's an exercise in audience patience. How is everyone's week this week? Aaron, that's a great, great, great question. My week was great. Are you guys familiar with the city of Chicago?

I heard of it. Yeah, of course. So the city of Chicago was kind of an interesting city because some cities have like a mayor. And the mayor is like the person who's like the most powerful person. Yes, exactly. In the Phatis horse in any town becomes the mayor. Uh-huh, in the city.

Well, I mean, all mayors are ultimately, they answer to the chief of police and the police unions, but the mayor is usually the one that runs the city, but Chicago has a really fun little system. Where instead of just having one mayor, we have like 45 little mini-mayors, and they're called aldermen, or alder people, I guess, and they run called aldermen or alder people I guess and they

like run like any neighborhood. So our aldermen told us last week that they were going to pave our alley which is great because our alley is like all fucked up. It's an alley but it's just like potholes and it feels like you know it feels like every time I drive over it I'm like oh I'm gonna fuck my tires up beyond belief. And is the phrase pave your alley is that like a euphemism? Like, what did a tough guy show up in like a tight shirt? And he's like, hey, I'm gonna pave your fucking alley. Like, is it like-

You think a tough guy in a tight shirt was gonna eat my ass? All right. I wish. So what is a euphemism? But, they didn't come. And then I called the alderman's office and I was like, hey, you left us a flyer saying

you're gonna come on this day, weather permitting, it was a gorgeous day. Like, what's going on? Why didn't you come? I think I was like, yeah, no, I'm looking at a map and I don't even see your alley up for this. And I was like, well, that's a bummer because you left me a flyer that said it would be. And then four more days went by and I called them back

and I was like, hey, you said you'd call me back. I just want to know, do you know what the alley situation is? And he was like, I don't know, man, it's like city of Chicago, right? And I'm like, that shouldn't be the answer. That's not an answer. That's also not something you should be saying out loud to me. Who are not commiserating about this?

You work for them. But today I was just walking around, and suddenly I looked outside and they were paving the alley. So it was great. That's amazing. The alley's freshly paved, and I'm happy, but I'm thrilled about were paving the alley. So it was great. They made the alley's freshly paved and I'm happy about it.

I'm thrilled about it. Fly the dub. Fly that dub. Fly that dub. That's why people fly the dub, right? It's not for the Cubs winning or losing. It's for if you get something in life dumb. If the city government does what they're promising to do,

you fly that dub. Air and my week was pretty good. A few highlights I I did a livestream with Gemma for the patreon and I dressed up as cowboy Christ So that was really fun. It was like I was wearing a Christ robe with a duster over top of it Long beard long hair and then a cowboy hat with a crown of thorns on top. Did you get struck by lightning? Well, you were wearing it? Almost. Oh, okay. And my catchphrase was Yeehaw, LaLouya,

submitted by a listener, so that was fun. So that's on the Patreon. And then I also... Okay, we might have to talk, Adam, because that's crossing awfully close to pretzel Jesus. I know it's not, but it's like it's in the same camp. And so just like... Understandable?

Yeah. I'm not gonna do like my new character like scientist, wizard, or whatever. Because he is holding tight to pretzel Jesus. And so just like understandable. Yeah, I'm not gonna do like my new character like Scientist lizard holding tight to pretzel Jesus just He's done once just all of our characters have their own space to kind of grow Okay, okay, just so we all know someone's fishing for pretzel Jesus to come back in this episode I think I came up with pretzel Jesus if it's been a while since JP rules has shown up too

I mean I didn't any one at any time can call for his wild looks, okay? There's a fucking million of them. All right, well, today we're doing the Mount Rushmore of JPC characters on this episode. Carefully. Let's save that for president's day. And then Mount Rushmore would be JP Riddles, pretzel Jesus, Teddy Roosevelt, and a duck choking on a Mountain Dew.

I want to ask this question because I don't know. Teddy Roosevelt and a duck choking on Mountain Dew. I want to ask this question because I don't know. Can a Mount Rushmore have repeats? Because I would probably have to support J. B. Orgels. That's terrifying. The other exciting news from this week was, I've decided that I'm going to go to Puerto Rico in November because Gemma has a layover there for like 30 hours or something

So I'm gonna come crash her layover and it'll be my first time in Puerto Rico. That's so amazing. That's awesome Port Puerto Rico. Puerto Rico. I don't know That I panicked at all. I don't think technically. I don't think you can do it wrong Okay, oh like Reese's. Yeah, Aaron. How is your week? And this is a leading question because I know you had a rough week. Well, hi, highs and low lows. I was having a pretty good week. Speaking of Dungeons and Detties, weird that you mentioned that. I went to a wrestling show with Anthony Birch and Beth May,

and a few other people. And I had my personality changed. I am into wrestling now. I had the time of my life. I've never laughed harder. I've never felt more at peace in my heart. That's so fun, right? It was a W or W, W, W. No, it was like Indie. Oh, very fun. And I was dying laughing. There was two children. What's the Indie circuit in L.A. In the ring? No, not in the ring. Do you remember the name of it, Erin?

What the Indie Circuit is? There was only two children in a wrestling show, typically. It was late at night, and it was not kid friendly. And then the kids ended up leaving it like 10. They were flipping off the heels, all the villains they were like. Sure. Fuck you to the villain, so they were really getting into it. But when they left, one guy yelled, fuck those kids. And I stood up and I gave him two middle fingers.

They were not to mansplain, but they're called healies. Kids were healies. Oh, right. It's wrestling, pro wrestling. That's what we do. Okay, pro wrestling. I think yelling fuck those kids is like a risky thing to yell. I would be very careful before choosing to yell those words

in pretty much any cup text. Kids have nothing to lose. I was pissed, but I had the best time. That's true. And they are, I was really nervous because I'm a fan of theirs and I was nervous hanging out with them, but they are so nice and funny in person. but that's why my week was so bad. No. My week was bad because I got into a car accident and everything's okay and no one got really hurt. I got a little

hurt but everything is okay. It does hurt your feelings. I will say that is part of it is you get really really scared when you're in a car accident. Like your fuck's up, your nervous system. It's like a really terrible thing to happen. So I'm sorry, it's my first car accident really. So I'm sorry to anyone who's experienced. It's very scary. You also get this shot of adrenaline

when you're in a car accident. And then later when the adrenaline kind of wears off, if you don't have like, you know, pain killers, because you start to realize like, oh no, like it did really hurt to be a car accident. Like even if you don't get hurt, it was the adrenaline's gone. It's like, oh no, my body was just like,

kind of protecting me for a second, but it can't keep this up forever. Right. I think I was more in shock at first. And then like the next day, I was like, oh no, this is painful. Yeah, I would advise some ibuprofen into a lot of water to anyone who happens to get

into a car accident where you don't require like more than that, but it's like getting into a car accident. I'd be profining a lot of water. It's like getting a massage. Yeah, that's a piti light. Ooh, piti light. Someone said stomach flu.

The way I described the paint, because I had to go to like the chiropractor and a couple other doctors, all that. The way I described it. Well, I'm sorry, Aaron, I got to stop you right there. The chiropractor and a couple other doctors, that would be the chiropractor plus some doctors. Not other doctors.

That is a very good point. A chiropractor is not a doctor. No, they're not even adentions. As much as they try. But I was trying to explain some of the pain to the chiropractor. And I was like, you know those bouncy things when you're a kid that are at events

and birthday parties and graduation parties? Well, the only time I've ever felt like this was at my cousin's graduation party when I was on the bouncy thing that had the bungee cord with the Velcro. Do you know what I'm talking about? Where you put on this vest and it's connected to a bungee cord and it's one on each side and you run as fast as you can. And try to reach and put Velcro. Aaron, I don't think you're doing a bad job describing it. I think you're describing a thing that I don't know. So I think you're doing great, but I can't help you.

Well, with those bouncy things, you're running as fast as you can, but you're connected to a bungee cord essentially. Sure. And so once you run and place the thing, it pulls you back like a jellyfish. Okay. Really, really hard. It's terrible.

I'm sure they're illegal now. You should have told the carapractor, I haven't felt this much pain since I was on my Shetland pony, and I hit my butt there while I was on the car. I don't think that these are really hard. It's terrible. I'm sure they're illegal now. You should have told the chiropractor. I haven't felt this much pain since I was on my Shetland pony and I hit my butt there. I don't think that these are. Part of his grand beginning he was. There's a place in Massachusetts through people at their birthday parties where there was a whole warehouse of these things and there were rats there. So I don't think this is a rich person thing. I think this is like... Honestly, Aaron, honestly, Aaron, I totally agree with you. The place that you're describing to a chiropractor,

I think any chiropractor would understand that because that sounds like where they went to medical school. So it does, it does make perfect sense. A chiropractor is like, oh, yeah, I got all of my degrees from that play place in Boston. It's making off. You have a cavity in your lower lumbar. Casey said that they have them at County fairs. So that makes sense But I never have rats everywhere County fairs Sam's club I said that he was like yeah whiplash and I was like I have whiplash I maxed my head on the dashboard and it's And the car vector said not my tempo

Yeah, exactly Yeah, the thing that you get from car accidents is whiplash. That's something you definitely get. Yeah, so I got some whiplash in a swollen face, but I'm alive, and I'm more grateful than ever. Aaron, we're very happy you're okay. Can I ask when it happened? Did it flash in front of your eyes of like,

oh no, I have to record Hey, Riddle Riddle. Like was that your first concern? No, oh no, I have to record Hey, Rital Rital. Like was that your first concern? No, I did, I did see my life flash performance, but in my life I mean just a slow montage of us recording the show. Ooh, a slow montage, that's rough. Yeah. Yeah.

I, you joke, Adel, but when I got into my bad car accident when I was like 20, the very first call that I made was to the people I was doing a 48 hour film project with and I was like I don't think I can do this 48 hour film project. I want to they're I call for a scene. Yes, I dare I want to see a scene Aaron We because it's it's fresh and I don't want to make light of it We're not going to have that you were in a car accident in the scene But you you are visiting a car impactor other reasons, just for random checkup or whatever. JPC, you are the chiropractor, and it just so happens that this chiropractor is JP Riddles.

Um, hello? Sorry, I know I probably have the wrong place, because we're sort of in the middle of nowhere, but I'm here to see you. It's not the middle of nowhere, it's actually the middle of somewhere. It's just not somewhere you want to be oh Then I'll head out. I'm supposed to see a JP riddles. Yeah, I found the right guy. It's me. I own JP riddles and this is my What would you call this? What what what would you call this? What would you call what I do? What do you think I am? You guess what I think I am. Well, I'm here to see a chiropractor. That's it!

A chiropractor! That's who I am! So, you got a broken screen or something? No, um, my... You scroll all messed up? No, I... You try to get to your Star Wars and you can't do it! Well, I'm a chiropractor. I'm, I'm a car accident. You got into a car?

Holy dreams. I've always wanted to get into a car. What was it like? How many buttons did you fire? Did everything smell like leather? Oh that good kind of leather not squirrel leather I'm get a little confused my friend Maureen said she you were the best chiropractor. She's ever worked with Do you want to just check out? I never worked with a raccoon named Maureen, and if she says I have, she's lying. She's probably one of these pill freaks. And we cut to Aaron, you're getting a second opinion at a new chiropractor who happens to be pretzel Jesus. Um, hi, I, uh, I'm a little early. Skateboard into a twist! You think you're running late?

I'm running about three days late. Pritzel Jesus here. Um, hi. My friend, Maureen, so you were the second best chiropractor she's ever worked with, and I'm in a lot of pain, you know. I know, Maureen.

Let me guess. What's her order? Body of Christ. Nacho cheese. I did her right. Seen. It's pretzel Jesus. Everybody's favorite character from 70 episodes ago.

Here to save our snacks. Oh God. You know what? I didn't think that we were going to find the perfect entry point for those two characters, but it worked really well. Yeah, very, just seamless transition. Seeneless. Who's, Aaron, is it your episode?

It must be because we haven't done riddles 30 minutes in. It must be. Not to tell, not to tell teacher, but I think we might be in trouble if we don't do at least half a riddle. You're an absolute tattle tale, by the way. Adeltail, please. I've noticed. You want bullies to give you the name?

He corrected it to Adeltael, please. I've noticed you what bullies to give you the name. He corrected into Adeltael. Bullies must have fucking loved you. Actually, if you want to punch me, just punch right here. There you go. Good job, pal. Hey, twerp. Actually, I'm a dumbass legally. Get it right. You want us to bully him? Is he six three trust me just walk up to it

It will be easy to do he'll show you the way he's so I think he played football. He's a fucking dormat, dude He'll draw you a fucking map When I write to his vulnerable when I play high school football I was like probably the best shape of my life like working and everything and then on the field When something had the ball and I run off to tackle them, I'd whisper into their helmet, I'd go, can you just fall? Like, I don't know what to do. Do you mind just falling?

I'm so sorry, Bobby. No worries if you can't. No worries if you can't. No worries if you're busy. No worries if you're busy. What question can you never answer yes to? What question can you never answer yes to? Is it, can I have this dance? Oh.

I can't say it. I can't say it. I can never answer yes to that. I would love to do it with you, but I can't. Can anyone own a dance? No. Is it when you're dancing with your brighter groom and then your uncle says my eye cut in?

Um, it's nothing to do with dancing. We're on the wrong track. We're on the wrong track. Good because this is a dance track But Julia Stiles is tied to this track. Thank you. Thank you. Aaron, I believe I know the answer Ben say it. Oh, yeah, I guess that's how an answer would the answer. Ben say it. Oh yeah, I guess that's how an answer would work, then say it. Good. I believe the answer is are you awake? What? I can't say yes to that.

Are you awake? Even are you asleep? Or are you asleep? Were you awake? Oh no. Oh, Adel, yes, if they have sleep paralysis. Yeah, yeah, that's what you met, which I've had before. But you do. Maybe the worst thing in the world. Yes, you were correct. It is are you asleep yet? And I would like to see a scene. Okay. You are two brothers who share a room and you watched a scary movie earlier that night and now you're both

In your bed trying to sleep and you're like trying to just make sure your brother's there because you're scared But you don't really want to admit that you're scared. Hey Tony Tony Tony. Yeah Anthony that movie was fucked right? I don't I don't even well, I mean why who brought up the movie? Like, why, why even talk about why you talk about it? No, I'm just saying like that ogre, like he was, that guy was insane and so huge his shoulders It's a problem Sorry, I'm just saying, like, I'm trying to go to sleep, I don't, it, it, who cares about the movie? Forget about the movie, Anthony. Fiona, Fiona look just like him, like Big Bro, shoulders, like, it's very scary.

I, yes, Anthony, I saw the same movie that you saw. If you wanna look just like him like big broad shoulders like it's very scary. I Yes, Anthony. I saw the same movie. Okay, you saw okay, but now it's time for bed I'm just forget about it. It's not bringing it up because we don't need to talk about it because it doesn't matter Because it's over. Okay. It's just a movie. Okay, it exists and okay Tony fine. Do you mind? Do you mind checking on my bed to make sure there's no little gingerbread man? Yes, fine. I'll check on your bed to make sure there's no little gingerbread man. Okay, getting out of bed here. See nothing is fine It's clear. It's on nothing under the bed Why would they even be- That's not talking about the movie!

BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! BEEK! Anthony what was that? Anthony we both know what that was. That was a little gingerbread man who's under my bed. So now I checked your bed. It's your turn to check my bed. I did you a solid Anthony that you're gonna go do me one. But if we know I'm not gonna, I checked your bed. You have to check mine. I'm not sure I've come to the right place, but I'd like to trade my kids in for new kids. It's come to my attention that my children are scared of the movie Shrek. No, this is the best by-parking one.

You're the right place. See. I'm sorry. My kids are scared of Shrek? I can totally see my kids are scared of Shrek. I can totally see my kids being scared to Shrek. Maybe not the movie Shrek, but the creature Shrek? Sure. Yeah.

I really enjoyed that you were Tony and I was Anthony. I think that was a fun little, little Easter egg. Someone's got some brands on the brain. Yeah, that's a bad mom for a lot of reasons. You had one Tony and one Anthony. Yeah. Another quick, easy warm up. I shave every day, but my beard stays the same.

What am I? Well hold on, it's not easy unless we solve it. That's true. Then solve it. I shave every day, but my beard stays the same. Jonathan Venice, Homer Simpson? No. Can you repeat it one more time?

Yes. I actually canceled out that reddle because I thought you guys would get it right away. So I have to go back to it. Just some honesty on your, what do I have to do with it? Well, Aaron, maybe stop having faith in us, huh? That's not it. That's a solution. I shave every day, but my beard stays the same.

What am I? A bald man. Is there no beard? Was there no beard to, is there no beard to begin with? Shave every day. I love that. I think you're on the right track before, Adel. So like maybe it's someone's job. Oh, a barber.

At Bear Burr. Wait, how does the beard stay the same? So the guy shaves other people's faces, but his beard is untouched. No, but the beard grows, so it can't stay the same unless it's not growing. I guess he's trimming it. Well, then he's cutting it.

Ah! Stop squeezing your head so hard, JBC. Why does this man get to lie? That's my question. Why does he get to lie? But I my question. Why does he get alive? But I do it once at a bank and I banned her life Yes, we talking about a sperm bank. He's talking about a sperm bank Please I lied. I want to see well this cup is all full

Sir this cup is empty. There's nothing good this no. I did a very good job, and I filled it all up So please take it and freeze it. Okay, I wanna see a scene. No, what? What? What? This is what we were talking about. We're having fun with our friends.

This is what we're talking about when we say that. Addle, what's this for? I wanna see a scene. Aaron, you are, this is like, I want this to be like 1950s. I want this to be old school. Aaron, you are... this is almost like a catch me if you can situation. Where you're on the lamb, you're on the run from the FBI. You have snuck into a barber shop and you're posing as a barber. And JPC, you just happen to walk in and sit down in the chair right when she's faking being a barber. Alright, I'm only 15 minutes from my lunch break, so this better be quit. I want to come to the right place.

Alright, I want a double bowl cut. Ooh, I know how to do that. That I'm not adding, and I'm tying the little thing, and I do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, mustache and you're gonna tell me I don't know what I'm doing. I'd never seen a handlebar mustache that big never mind. And I'm spinning you in the chair and got you got it got it cut. Sorry dinner up but have I ever seen a woman on the run we're looking for Melissa disguise. Now she's wanted in several states for well I can't really say at the moment, but have either of you seen this woman? She's never been here before, but she sounds like a genius. Can I offer you a haircut

after I help this gentleman, sir? Sure, I'll just sit over here in the winning area. Thank you. Alright, it looks, well I gotta say, it looks like never no double bull cut I've ever asked for, but I've lost a lot of blood Walks three feet, falls down the ground, stops moving. See. Ha ha ha. Isn't the whole point of catching me if you can that he's actually pulling off being these things.

He's such a smart guy that he like, yeah, Frank, at least $1 or something. But I don't know that it was all fake. I think so, yeah, they said the majority of it was fake. And at one point, he pretends to be a doctor. So I don't think he was that smart. I think he just, I don't think he was actually a doctor. He also pretended to be a pilot.

Yeah, he pretended to be a pilot and got away with it. And it's like, well, there's something going on there that he got away with it. Like, how did he fly the plane? I just watched that movie. And he was, he never flew the planes. He was always like riding standby. Like they would have like another pilot,

like, like in the wings like waiting. But I watched that movie recently for the first time. Thank you so much. And the craziest shit in that movie is when he becomes a doctor because I'm like, surely this can't last. It's like he was a doctor for two years.

I was like, why? How? Is that allowed? But Amy Adams had her breakout performance, so you can't be too mad at that move. Can't be mad at that. She gave us enchanted. I think we'd all agree that June Bug was a breakout performance,

but whatever you say, Aaron. And Dada Di, step to turn around with you. Cut, cut, cut, cut. Well, speaking of cuts, we're going to cut this first 30 minutes, and we're going to go straight into ads for the opening. So let's go to ads now. I just do. I just do. The audience here. We're gonna cut this first 30 minutes and we're gonna go straight into ads for the opening So let's go to ads now. This will be the first thing behind here Melissa disguise your under arrest

Hey, GPC. Uh, uh, yeah? You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Attle, and I'm setting up a whole website to prank him. Um, and I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Apple. Screener space is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website.

It gays with your audience. And so anything for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here. Come here. Come here. Hey, what's going on? I'm going to get you a new product. And so anything for products that cut into time all in one place all on your terms Hey, Otto come here come here. Hey, what's what's going on? I actually I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like is there like Online store like it set up on my website to sell products. Did you know that with Squarespace? You can have custom merch you can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money.

What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming

from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website. The prank site too. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for?

I can't remember what the website is for Frank with square space You can connect to your store to Vedent third party tools to extend the functionality of your website Hey, JPC, hey, JPC. What's up, Adam? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase

of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait. I've been pranked. But how?

I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey Adel and JPC, thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an impasse. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, have there never truly is a middle of the woods? No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it.

Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually. So, as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices,

and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, owl. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods.

Hmm, and better help is entirely online. So it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years and it suits the way that my brain works, way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed

therapist, and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Mmm, dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help.

H-E-L-P dot com slash riddle, R better help, h-e-l-p.com slash riddle, r-i-d-d-l-e. R-i-d-d-l-e, the middle of riddles of d, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in between the two d. I'm hoping at home.

Bye, baby. Am home. Who are we? What is this? Oh, my God. Who are we? What is this? What is this? I, clink, clink, clink, excuse me, ladies and gentlemen.

I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday, and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Bunny. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Huh?

Rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, kling, kling, kling, kling. Oh, sorry, I also want to give a toast.

Rocket money, well quickly, and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel, and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy, clink, clink, clink. It also categorizes your expenses, so you can easily track your budget in real time, and also get alerted if anything looks off.

Over three million, well, clink, alerted if anything looks off over three million. Oh, clink, clink, clink. Over three million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to seven hundred and twenty dollars a year. We love rock. Stop. Stop. Clank, clank, clank.

Stop. No, clank, clank, clank. Stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions today and manage your expenses. The easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. Rock at money.com slash riddle.

And tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website. Click like, click like, click like, click like, click, click, click. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, And this is a good riddle that made me laugh. We have read a riddle from egg dog before. I think so. You're the egg now dog. Thank you, Sean. RIP. Milk milk milk milk milk is is egg dog one word or two? Two words.

Two words. Well, it's technically their handle. Well, I'm like, what is a name if not a handle? Correct. Shakespeare. I'm a top. I'm a top. I'm a what is a name of not a handle correct? Shakespeare. I was playing a top class. A rose by a handle. A rose by any other handle.

A rose by any other handle. A rose by any other handle would spell the dog. Oh hold on JBC was I think oh shit. Um, behind you is the teacher from Charlie Brown. Oh, that's that's that's my in-laws. There. Oh, yeah. I'm so sorry.

What language is that? I want to say Greek. This is JPC's stand-up from the 90s and kids and kids and kids and kids and kids and kids. You wanted to say Greek? King dies after finishing his meal. It was his friend's restaurant so the food wasn't poisoned.

How? How? How? Kings don't have friends. Yeah, yeah, and in olden days, they don't have restaurants. That's actually probably true. You're talking in like Robinhood era times, there was restaurants now.

There was pubs and taverns and ends that serve food, but restaurants, I don't think so. I mean, Adel, there are still. How about that attitude? There are still modern day kings. I mean, Adel, there are still... How about that attitude? There are still modern day kings. I mean, the, you know, there are countries that still have like royalty, right? No.

There must be countries that still have a king. I know, England still has a queen. You and I walked, like 6 a.m. in Denmark, you and I walked through the royal palace of Denmark. That's true. Not shit was going on. Did they have a king, right? Just Denmark still have a king? Oh yeah. And the guards at the Royal Palace

couldn't they look like they did not give a shit. They weren't like their British ones where they are unfazed and they can't react to you. They were just like leading on their guns like they were kind of dressed like the British ones. They had the big hats. They had the big hats. Yeah. Yeah. They must be related. They had little boxes to stand in too, which was very fun. Very cute. Like little toys. Maybe we could have posed them, move their arms. I know the British ones don't move and you can go up there and like pose and take pictures,

but these guys would have, I felt like they would have been like, what the fuck are you doing? Get out of here. I'm moving. I'm fully moving. Officially not my fault that we're not doing riddles. It wasn't the first half, but the conversation. The king died from eating at his friend's restaurant.

After finishing his meal, it was his friend's restaurant so the food wasn't poisoned. Oh, I know. How? What? Is the king in question, a Mr. Elvis Presley,

was his friend's restaurant a banana and peanut butter sandwich, and did he die on the sh- Aaron? Can I finish? Finish? I know what you're gonna say, so no. Why? Why do you know? and peanut butter sandwich and if he die on the sh- Aaron. Don't say it. Finish. I know what you're gonna say, so no. Why?

Why do you know? How can you guess? Elvis died eating the banana sandwich, shitting on his toilet. And I don't get to say it on the podcast. Right this way to our one seat in the restaurant, the shitter. You're never gonna get this. I would love it if Elvis had a table at every

restaurant that was his favorite restaurant to go to, which was just a toilet, like a toilet table. Stalled table. Uh-huh. Aaron, now that you say we're never going to get this, I demand you never read the answer, because JBC and I will get this. Aaron, is the answer, is this a king sized candy bar? No, but this is a joke. This is kind of like a wordplay joke, Anthony. Oh, oh, I read it one more time and I'm in a hyper focus in all the words a king dies after finishing his meal It was his friend's restaurant so the food wasn't poisoned. How how I got a tiny throat What? You know how kings you know how a lot of royalty is in bread. Yeah, it produces tiny throats

And this was you know, he's trying to swallow his food and it just got stuck and he died. I'm sorry sir, he's not going to make it. Your son has tiny throats. Thank you Kyra, Phractor. I'm sorry your son has tiny throats, guilty feet, and he got no rhythm. So, if it's a King's friends restaurant, is that where the pun comes from? The King's friends restaurant, is that where the pun comes from? The King's friend? I would say the two parts that you should focus on in this order are after finishing his

meal. That's the thing you can focus on. And then the fact that he was at his friends restaurant. Okay. It means he was done, done, done. Is that part of it? No, I like what you're thinking of though. Okay.

So this is a king. So this is a key. What's the way for a king to die in any context? Is this like a Burger King dairy queen situation where it's like the burger king has died after eating a dairy queen because they realize it's like this is not a grilling shell for me or something? No. Is this actually, does this involve the guillotine?

No. Hark, what word do you have from the burger kingdom? The burger king has fallen. The dairy queen will rise. Okay, okay. So, what the fuck is this? When does a king die? In any context, think of all the times,

kings are sort of taken out. In war. In war. When the king is... Revolution? No, it's sort of like at the end of something you go. At the end of their reign. Yeah, but it... Yeah, the end of their reign.

Whoa, we are in chess. The king's always die at the end of their reign. What? In chess. In chess. In chess. Okay. Is that the answer?

He had in digestion. Chastron. In digestion. Okay, I'm mad. You said in digestion. Yes, okay, is that the answer? He had indichestion. Chastron. Indichestion. Okay, I'm mad. You said indichestion when the answer is... Fuck you, I saw the... No, you didn't. What do you say at the end of chess?

Checkmate. This sucked. Oh, for the checkmate. The other checkmate. Commentmate. Uh, indichestion. Indichestion, you idiots. What do you say at the end you say? In digestion. In digestion, you idiots. What do you say at the end of chess?

The last 20 minutes were a complete waste. Uh, the Queen's Gambit has ruined our hog. So now he played chess. Okay. So he, he, hold on, he died because he said checkmate, but it's his friends restaurant. Adoles, riddles, riddles, and adults. Sometimes they're jokes. Checkmate, but it's his friend's restaurant. Addle? Riddles, Riddles, Addle. Sometimes they're jokes.

Checkmate, I understand. Checkmate, it's his friend's restaurant. He's calling him his mate. King's not always there. Checkmate. No, and why does he die after eating there? Yeah, because King's don't die in checkmate. What does it have to do with the friend's restaurant?

Aaron. Well, he's calling him a mate. That's why it's friend's restaurant, because it's mate. Yeah, yeah. British for friend is mate. Okay, I want to see a scene. Aaron and Adel, you guys are going to be playing a game of, it's like Russian roulette.

You're playing like Russian roulette, but it's chess. Okay, cool. So whatever that means to you. Okay Okay, so if I kill your king you die for real Yeah, that's it So let's checkmate. What the oh my god. How did I? I left myself wide open one move in the checkmate. I was about to say let's make this game last as long as possible One move in the checkmate. I was about to say let's make this game last as long as possible. Blam!

Alright, we cut you. We cut you, Aaron, you'll energizing Adelaide's funeral. But most of all, he was bad at chess. The End. Do we clap? And now the bishop shall speak Of course the bishop will be talking about all things diagonal You know like 45 degrees at one point I'm the bishop

Oh, I'm sorry does the knight want to say something? No Do you sure? Any ponds in the house? The rook would like to say something, the rook would like to say something. Please, okay, let me just hold on to me, get up here. And ladies and gentlemen, this is the rook of the year. So please give a hearty applause, he's just broke his arm,

but he can do whatever he does much faster. Alright, excuse me, pardon me, excuse me, excuse me. Wait faster if I just cut sideways through this, okay? he does much faster. Alright, I'm stuck behind this guy. He's it looks like he's tried to trade in like an old radio for cash. Can someone can someone help this guy? Oh the pond. I don't know. I don't know what he's doing.

And I'm sorry. Queen, can you have a seat? Queen, you are moving all over the fucking place. Woo! Yeah. You can't just do whatever you want. You can't do whatever you want because you're bored. Yes, I can.

I can go wherever I want in this place I can go this way or this way this way or this way Checkmate seed I'm sorry made the queen drunk, but it just felt right here is a riddle from Jeremy Jeremy just felt right. Here is a riddle from Jeremy. Jeremy says, you read my pizza roll, riddle in episode 162.

We'll have to take your word for it, Jeremy. I know I speak for all of us when we say we don't remember what happened before just now. Jeremy, that was 10 episodes again. 10 episodes ago. There's no way that we can remember that. Jeremy sent in riddles today. So this would Jeremy have to say, when is 61 more than a hundred? 61 more than a hundred. 61 more than a hundred. Oh, when it's

1961. Interesting. That means that's just more just more numbers Aaron are we allowed to add more numbers? Bay of pigs right? When did that happen if it was 61? I'll be really impressed cruise chef Kennedy someone get this Bay of pigs Einstein James Dean Brooklyn's got a winning team David Krog I Peter Pan Elvis Presley David pigs Day of pigs Daniel day Daniel day of Pigs Lewis. Bitch! Bitch!

Bitch! Happy each other! Okay, here we go, it was six-no-one. Man, it's just six-no-one. Hold on, Aaron, Aaron, I'm willing to admit. Aaron, I'm willing to admit, that's maybe the most impressive thing I've seen another human do on this planet.

Ha! But now, but now, do cement your legacy, Aaron. Yes. Doing the most impressive thing I've ever seen anyone ever do ever. Hey, Addle, I hope you're not about to take the wind right out of my sails. I need you to explain in one minute what the Bay of Pigs invasion was. What did I say? What did I say?

How about taking the wind out of my I want to see. I was looking. I was looking. I want to see a scene. It was in Cuba in 1961. And it was John F. Kennedy. And it was a bomb went off.

What do you know about Bay of Pigs? A beach? to see it was on a beach. I want to see seen Aaron you are a Six-grader you're doing your report on the Bay of Pigs in JPC's class and you absolutely clearly did not Study or prepare and you're trying to improvise it on the spot. Come on everyone calm down calm down. All right. Rubar, rubar, rubar, rubar. Please and you are up for your Bay of Pigs presentation whenever you are ready. Fellow classmates, teacher, thank you so much for being here today. I know that it is sometimes boring to listen

to students talk about their projects, better really appreciate your enthusiasm. And thank you so much to the teacher. Can we give the teacher a round of applause? Thank you for being so good about quieting down the other students. And please, thank you so much. I appreciate it whenever you're ready.

Just the Bay of Pigs. The Bay of Pigs happened in 1961. Wow, she seems so pleased with that part. John F. Kennedy was present at the time so sorry. Uh-huh Carl. Yeah, one more outburst You want one more? Sure. No, no, I'm saying oh Principles office principles office go P. R. I. No, don't spell it Walk it walk to the principal's office Now. I'm done dealing with you. Okay.

It was the height of the Cold War, and John F. Kennedy was president. The Bay of Pigs didn't go well. Something was wrong. It was in Cuba, and something went wrong. It is a part of John F. Kennedy's legacy, which, honestly, if he had been president longer, it might have been a smaller finote, but it was actually a pretty big deal. It was a real big part of the Cold War, it's Fidel Castro. And? Yes.

Thank you so much. Again, these are- I have 20 more minutes. No, it's fine again. Again, I told you guys, these are graded on effort. And it looks like you put an a ton of effort into it. You learned some dates. You said John F. Kennedy a couple times.

That's perfect. You said bad things. Thank you so much. On rhythm? Yep, all in the correct era. I could have used you saying CIA. CIA, threat of war. Thank you so much.

Thank you so much, Ian. Thank you so much. OK, Carl, you're back from the principal's office. Yes, and I just want to apologize Okay, I we apology accepted Carl just keep those outbursts to a minimum. You're up. Okay Carl your project it was on How babies are made everybody has to pick their projects? All right Carl. I can't can't want to hear about it. How many babies are made from Carl, everybody? Yes, I just want to take some time to say thank you to the teacher and all the students for their enthusiasm.

Thank you. Hey guys, we don't have to do the thank yous. So be a union. Thank you. Sorry. Yes, Anne, you're doing great. We just got to get to the projects. When two people love each other very much, what they'll inevitably do is buy some flasick pickles. Now when the flasick pickles run out, the

Stork at Flasick doesn't have a job. So what the Stork does is it goes to its little underground lab. Cuban Missile Crisis. Okay, and you've already gotten the grade. You got the A. You're doing a great job. And it's so... Can I just say, teacher, it's so sad to hear that all those pigs drowned. Carl? A whole Bay of Pigs? Principal's Office. Principal's Office, Carl. He R-I-N-C.

Can he do it? Yeah, I don't mind doing it. Which spelling of principle? Like the principle, like the principal's office. I'm saying, did you say like a principal office? No, Kenny, you know what I didn't say that. I said like the principal's office. PR? I? NC. The Bay of Pigs was a failed landing operation on the southwestern coast of Cuba in 1961

by Cuban exiles who opposed Fidel Castro's Cuban revolution. Teacher, she's reading from her phone. Can I do that for my report on babies? How would you read from a phone? It's 1991. Oh, I. Sam, we're calculating why. See, that's the same.

And by the way, it was 1991 in that. It was 1991. It was never said, but if it was that in your head, then you're correct, too. Hold on, hold on. I think it was 1991 that's seen. me just let me just Google what year was it and that year was it in that scene What's it say what's it say? Holy shit

My 91 Note sap Wow Yeah, we should say for this in real life D.W.D. Aaron, I'm sorry. In my notes app, 19.90. Wow. That's the most impressive thing ever. Holy crap. Yeah, we should say for a little bit. Holy shit. In real life, we need to do world news and stuff.

A lot of times you inter-scene, you know, you might start whisking in a bowl or you might start typing on a computer. And then JPC inter-sacene. And you might start in an initiation that goes something like, hey, Greg, how was your weekend? And JPC would immediately stop and go go my name's not Greg. It's Jim And I'd be like and it's Tuesday and then you get off stage and he goes Sorry, man. My name was Jim in my head. So you should have picked up on that and it was um it was just a great lesson So I would say my name is Jim even though I said my name wasn't Jim

So I would say like you're right you did get my name But I wanted you to like think of a different name. No no no I'd call you Greg and then you'd find games. Mine games. Five minutes ago I had the confidence of a hundred sons. Yes sons entitled sons who had a lot of confidence and then and I, I played a little thing in my brain where I was like, I'm gonna go on Jeopardy, I'm gonna be famous for my brains. And then two guys just dash, dash, dash my dreams. They made fun of me. They said I was reading it off of my phone. Where you were? No, just at the end! Just at the end. I was just at the end!

Hey, I just happened to be texting someone while reading an exact Wikipedia of Bay of Figs. What happened at the Bay of Figs? And what was its legacy? John F. Kennedy went to Cuba because he got a Cuban sandwich and the ham-tasted weird. No. He corralled all the pigs into a bay and drowned them. And Fidel Castro came and said, uh, you can't do that. And JFK said, uh, this is in a national waters. And he

watches all the pigs drowned. History is written by the winners. The CIA tried to start a war with Cuba by getting a bunch of army, a bunch of quote unquote, like Cuban expat dissidents and then sending them over But wait hold on expats like Tom Brady a Lot of people died Many bathons died we could all agree on that. Vitty bathons died. Wait mini bathons. Oh, no Sugar It's your dad's leaking all of our houses right now

Are we experiencing a collective gas? You're gonna have some medicine. It's your glass leak in all of our houses right now. Are we experiencing a collective gas leak? Hold on, oh it's on the zoom. It's on the zoom. Hold on one second, one second. Casey, can you fix this gas leak? Oh my God, there is a gas leak on the zoom. Okay, Casey changed his name, but gasoline.

Okay, here's, this is, okay. You know when you're driving and then you don't know how you got somewhere. You're like, I just drove for 40 minutes and I Don't even remember doing that I was just wait this person was at a car accident. I wasn't driving, okay? But that's how I feel in this episode where I go were we just recording I forgot to be alert in in my body Okay, I'm so sorry everybody when is 61 more than a hundred this one still yeah one is 69 probably is it something

like well yeah when seven eight nine it is absolutely anything to do with the with 69 I think I was correct is nothing to do with 69 when is 61 more than a hundred yes okay is this like a is this a conversion thing? Is it like 61 fuck? I like that smart, but that's not it. More than a hundred. Is it like when it comes to the number of letters in the name of it or something?

No. This is a really great riddle. This is like one of my favorites that we've had in a long time. Is it when it's a little bit? It's a while done, Jeremy. Is it when it's a vintage bottle of Chateau Bordeaux? Chateau Bordeaux?

Do taux taux taux taux? Jean Castell? No. OK. Well, I mean real quick, I do want to see a scene. So Aaron, you and I are at a wine tasting. Adel, you are going to be uncorking these wines and pouring it for us.

But you don't really know much about wine and the names that you're making up. You're just trying to like get through them and say they've been French. Great. So we just want some like not too expensive wine at our wedding, just something that we know people will enjoy. We're not really wine people. So we're just so excited to hear your recommendation.

Yes, of course. Yeah, but I mean, we don't want it to be cheap. I know she didn't say cheap, but like we want it to be good wine, but like we, you know, we don't want it to be cheap. I know she didn't say cheap But like we want it to be good wine, but like we you know, we don't know what of course of course I think I know exactly what you're going for and also ma'am if I may say Nobody enjoys wine until they taste it. So let's pop up in this first bottle. This is a screw tap. Oh, okay Promise ink you can just drink from the bottle And I think you'll find notes of frog. You'll also find notes of piano.

And notes of grandma. So switch that around in your mouth. What's the name of this? This is a bottle of flamenon. And what's the year on this? This has no year. Oh, OK, so what you described, then you just had to be the bottle. That's a pass for me. I think that we, maybe we make, because that doesn't pass in a good way. No, that sounds like, like, we want a little more upscale than that.

I think we came into hop with the cheap stuff. We want a little more expensive than that. Of course, well, let me, okay, let's dump that in the trash. Let me grab this one. This is a very small bottle, as you can see. It almost looks like a cologne bottle, but I promise you it was not where I kept my curved cologne. Okay, so this is here, you sir, you start with it first. You're going to taste notes of Billy Joel. I gotta say. I gotta read. Wrong the what? Sorry, let me turn down my radio. I gotta say, this smells a lot like cologne.

Mm. Oh wow, yeah, it really does. Yeah, I think it smells so much like cologne that I, I think I don't wanna drink this. I think I don't even wanna try this. Well, let me tell you the label. Sir, this is a 2004 Gatzooks. So it should be, I don't know why you're tasting Cologne.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. We're doing a bad job. This is not your fault. This is our fault. We just want something that's like, I agree. Pretty like middle of the road, like agree a,

like good wine, that's not too cheap, but like everyone, it's like a safe bet. Just like a regular shardonnay. You're run-of-the-mill Pino Grigio. Something just standard. Oh, straight home. We don't want anyone talking about the wine. Because it's like not good or bad,

it's just like it was the wine. Yeah, it's just like a lot. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. So I've given you some red, I've given you some wine, that does not seem to appease your palate. So let me- How about a rosé? Here's a yellow wine, This is a nice yellow. This is a 2011 piece. So I pour

some here. Forgive that there's a lack of bubbles here. It's also going to be quite cold. Oh. My wife, my wife runs cold. So, and that's what you call an improv slam. To opposing ideas. Coming at each other at 100 miles an hour. Oh, brother. Here's your final hint for this riddle. Okay, please.

And this is a riddle that, or a hint that Jeremy wrote. Okay. Which is, this was written by the same guy who wrote the pizza roll one from weeks ago And he sticks to a theme. Yeah Jeremy. We begin this. We begin this shit say we didn't fucking remember the pizza roll one Wait, no the pizza roll one was he took it was like a microwave sit for like one second less So what you just said the word, used a word that's very important here. Microwave.

Yes, that's what it is. A microwave. The reason being that if you type in 61 seconds and press start, it will go for 61 seconds. If you type in 100, it runs for one minute, 60 seconds. Oh, so it was a conversion thing. Well, not really. Oh, okay, good.

Good. I should have let you finish your answer, because maybe I would have agreed. Yeah, no, in my mind, I was doing miles to kilometers or something like that, but yes, time, time, my friends. I have, and this is the joke, 15 more riddles prepared for this episode. Can you do them all at once? Like, can you mash them up into one riddle

that we can do in the next two minutes? Yeah, let's see. Yeah, that's a reasonable request. Aaron treated that like it was a reasonable request. Shhh, I'm sorry, that riddle with shadow bike? Yeah. Shadow bike echo. Oh, good.

That's Gandalf's bike, right? Oh, yes. Yes. This is Shadow Motorcycle. This is Shadow Condo. Look for me on the ninth day, when the morning sun is at its peak and I'll be doing some fucking sweet skids in like,

on Ollie. I would like, cut, Ollie. Um, I would like to see a scene. Yes. Adel, you are Gandalf. Oh, wow. And you are at a wizard convention and you happen to sit next to a one, JP Riddles, who's there for some reason.

Maybe looks enough like a wizard that they let him in. Who's there for some reason? Uh, maybe looks enough like a wizard that they let him in. Who's there for some reason? Okay, I love it. Excuse me, friend. Is this seat taken? Yeah, seat can't be taken unless someone is allowed to take the seats and I tried. Trust me, all these seats are bolted down, so no one's taking these seats. Uh, very good, thank you. I need to rest my ancient bones. Now, can I ask? Of course, this is Wizard World, which at Rosemond Convention Center is, uh, are you a- A wizard yourself?

Well, I'm a bit of a wizard and I guess it depends on what you call spells. Most of my spells are recipes and most of my recipes are ways to prepare squirrel. If I could ever catch one of those wild little masters, you strike me as a wizard type though, yeah? Mm-hmm, a big hat, big beard. Yes, I am a wizard. I had some tickets for my friends to join me, but they decided to... Chickens! Some tickets.

Oh, nice. We could fry those up, eat them, have a nice little meal. Oh, yes, I would love some ticket catchatory. I told my friends to take a flight. They decided on Amtrak and I said fly you fools. It'll be much faster but they got stuck in a train so I'm here alone and I'm looking to make friends. Oh I've been stuck in a train before. That was one confusing year of my life. But we are what doesn't kill us only makes us more like a train kick flip Ollie. What's up? I'm for Edson Jesus What's this guy's new?

I'm the snack guy You know Jesus and Gandalf have a lot in common. They both died and came back better than before dressed in white Jesus come back better than before I can't know if have a lot in common. They both died and came back better than before, dressed in white. Did Jesus come back better than before? I can't remember. He didn't stale around long enough for anyone to know, but the guess is that he would have. I think I've said this like 50 times before, I'm gonna say it one more time.

My favorite part in any movie is when they see Gandalf, I think it's in the second movie, after Gandalf like fell to his death, and they see Gandalf in the woods and they're like, Gandalf, he's like, Gandalf, I don't after Gandalf like fell to his death and they see Gandalf in the woods and they're like Gandalf and he's like Gandalf I don't know Gandalf and he's like I am Gandalf the white. I was like yes the same fucking name like what are you doing I hate that. I hate that part. Gandalf the gray. Who the fuck is Gandalf the gray? Oh yes my name's Gandalf the white. I knew that name once. It's like oh are you Anthony Kitas? Anthony Kitas.

No, that's a dumb name. My name is Anthony Kitas, Jr. Well, this has been a nightmare, but this is my floor, and so I'm going to get off here. Anything to plug before you get off. We're before I get off Yeah, I have something to plug. Why don't you check out hello from the magic tavern patreon We have a new patreon it's patreon.com slash magic tavern also magic tavern season four has started and we have a lot of cool guests Including we just had Anthony and Beth May from Dungeons and Datties on which was a goddamn delight Anthony was not pleased with his performance on that. That's one of the things he talked to me about on television. He was great, I think he just started himself.

And then... He was like, I picked such a complicated character, and then I was like, Aaron was just a mouse. I could have been something like a mouse. I think he was insulting you. No, I picked a great character, and everyone, that was it. And then... Agreed.

And then speaking of wrestling in season four, I think maybe that's how this comes out or next week, we have a very big wrestler on that was, he was amazing. I think he might be the champion of WWE right now. I don't watch WWE, but I think he might be the champion to have the belt. So check that out. You didn't give him a Google before you add him on the shelf.

Couldn't have Googled. Do you, do you not remember his name? I remember his name. I don't want to say in case it hasn't come out and I don't want Arnaud Matt to yell at me. Yeah, I'm sure you kept it vague enough that they won't be able to. Well, I'll give a little one for our listeners. Like a little Tasty treat. He has his own cereal. That should be helpful. He has his own cereal.

That should be helpful. A JPC, if you'd like. Captain Crunch. That's it. He had Captain Crunch on the show. Wow. Yeah, you can follow me over on Twitter at JP Sofly or follow me on Twitch and Instagram at Shark Parkman. Aaron, any thing that you would like to plug?

I have nothing. Oh, good. Plug hugging your friends. That's what I'm plugging. Hug your friends. Uh, well, get consent. Well, of course, get consent. What about your family?

We're just leaving them out in the cold? Hug your family unless they're shitty. Cut shitty family members out. That's what I'm plugging. If someone is a true toxic person, you really don't owe them anything. I'd also like to change my plug to cut shitty family members out. That's what I'm plugging. If someone is a true toxic person, you really don't owe them anything. Wow. I'd also, I'd like to change my plug to cut shitty family members out as well. Yeah. Hold on. Aaron, I'm sorry to call you out on air. This sounds directed exactly at Mitch. No, Mitch has been very funny over the family group texts. I

can't cut him out. He's been making me laugh out loud. I also, he also made the group text. So good luck. He did, he did. I feel like for the first 25 episodes of this podcast, Mitch was a main character, and I feel like he's been written off the show, so I need to bring him back. I feel like on my deathbed, I'm gonna die with such useless information in my head

as I know that Mitch made the family group text. And people are gonna be like, why would that be valuable to you or to anyone? I say it's not, it wouldn't be it, it's not. Something as useless as what year the Bay of Pigs happened. I'm sorry. Aaron, I do know that during the Bay of Pigs, there's a lot of astrological happenings going on.

And a certain planet was in retrograde. I don't know if you know this, but that's what made JFK make the decisions that he made. Do you know what planet was in retrograde? I'm not Googling it. I'm technically someone. Can you know what planet was in retrograde? Um, I'm not Googling it. I'm technically someone. Can you say it in your JFA accent? Uh, Jupiter. Goodbye.

And, uh, bye forever. Created by Apple Revive. Starting here in China. And John Patrick Collins. Casey Toney to the editing. And already here in China. Hey there horses and robots, if you like that you're gonna love this week's Patreon. It's YAH! Saddle Saddle Part 2!

That's right, the thrilling conclusion. You can listen to that! Plus part 1, plus our entire Bat Catalog by joining the Clue crew for 5 Nose a Month or the Review Crew for $8 a month at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle. See you there! YAH! See you there! YAAA!