Hey Riddle Riddle - #173: On Our Erin's Birthday?

Episode Date: November 10, 2021

Today is the day, folks! Our very own Erin Keif (professionally known as Sharon Beef) is turning the big 3-0! And how are we celebrating her? Well, it's a riddle podcast so we'll probably be doing that. Is it a great birthday? No. But this is the real world. It's filthy and it's awful and every day is riddles (which we love) and that's just how it is. Oh, and we've got a lost cause who just might pull through, a quest to find the right words, a corpse with some unfinished business and the greatest prank in the history of the show! Hold onto your butts, it's #WiddleWednesday Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. I'm a little more thinking about it I'm a little more thinking about it I'm a little more thinking about it I'm a little more thinking about it I'm a little more thinking about it I'm a little more thinking about it I'm a little more thinking about it I'm a little more thinking about it Oh shit, Addle, fuck Oh god, okay, do you know what today is?

Fuck, yes, it's Aaron's birthday, but I totally forgot It's Aaron's birthday, I totally forgot I was putting the date for the recording I I was like I'm the 10th November Since one of I know that why don't know that what I wrote it down on a piece of paper, but then I ate the paper Here she comes here she comes Bieber your late I'm late I'm late. Of course you're like an hour JPC know what he do you right you're right you're right you're right we let it slide today We let it slide today. I'm like an hour late. No, you're not no no

Where early? Yeah, we said 1.30 a.m. You're right And jbc and I chipped in together and we got you Yeah, these two thumbs up And JBC and I chipped in together and we got you These two thumbs up Am I pregnant? No, I can't be what this is I would know We know how much you love Cisco and he burnt so we got you two thumbs up. Yeah, oh You're you're rocking it girl 30 and flirty. Oh Shit, oh my god you guys you guys

Aaron how do I tell me that I forgot my own 30th birthday? It's kind of a big one. Oh, no Oh my god, okay. Yeah, this is embarrassing. Um, you, Aaron. I'm late, am I pregnant? Oh, I'm not pregnant. Should we go or? Aaron, do you ever want to get pregnant? I guess you're 30 now. You just maybe start having conversations like this with yourself.

Start having. Uh, well, I don't know. I've kind of just pushed it out of my mind for a few years. I guess maybe, I don't know. I sometimes think, I don't know. I've kind of just pushed it out of my mind for a few years. I guess maybe I don't know I sometimes think I don't know. I can't really. I maybe maybe maybe later down the line. I think no though, right? No down the line Aaron take a look at that line. It is not a long a line not helpful I'm definitely gonna be okay running fine and um, yeah yeah. Sean's in the background, putting on a jetpack and he blasted through the roof.

Who's Sean? Sean. I certainly don't care. Or no, because I'm 30, bitch, like that woman in that movie. Yeah, and I'm out of that bitch. And I'm also a JPC and said like Freddie Krueger. I'm JPC bitch. Did you see that movie? What was that? Is that bridesmaids? Who's 30 or what movie? No, Freddie Krueger.

Never. I'll be honest with you guys. I have never seen a Freddie Freddie movie. I've never seen a Jason movie. I've never seen a Chuckie movie. I've never I've never seen my mind. Oh, yeah've never, I've never seen my one of those pictures. Oh, yeah, I saw, so I married an axe murderer. I saw so you didn't see for getting Sarah Marshall, that's the Jason movie. I do think the first nightmare in Elm Street is pretty great. It's very enjoyable to watch. I think I've seen part of the first Halloween with Jamie LeCardis, right? Yes. I think I've seen part of that one, that's Michael Myers, so I think I've seen part of the first Halloween with Jamie LeCardis, right? Yes. Yes. I think I've seen part of that one. That's Michael Myers. So I think I've seen part of that one. Um, Adel, you think that makes scary things though. So it's different for you. You can handle it. Yeah, I get, I get like a thrill through scary stuff. That's why I love like conat houses and stuff because they make me go go.

Guys, we are not talking about October shit in November, Aaron, how does it feel to be 30? Well, great. That's great. That's nice. Adel would do that. Since you and I have already crossed the 30 threshold, do we have any pieces of advice that we can impart to Aaron upon reaching this monumentous occasion.

Yeah, I don't know if it's, this is not advice, but I notice like when around the time of 30, a lot of stuff you just stop caring about, in a good way, so I think look forward to that. One of the more interesting things for me about turning 30, and this is something that I guess, they don't tell you, or most people don't tell you, I guess maybe just like people don't talk about it

because whatever, like social taboos or mores or whatever. But whatever way that you wipe when you go to the bathroom, you switch, you reverse when you hit 30. So if you were in front to back, you're now in back to front. I thought that was a hemisphere thing, but that's an age thing. That's an age thing. Yeah, so then stink, you have like a prey drive or something that kicks in, which is the switch.

Also, I'm going to start going from right to left, I guess. Also be very careful. Out there in the world now, there are social mores. So they seem very chatty, but they are still. They stink me. They will bite you. They will bite you. You can touch their top.

But don't touch the mouth. I think you could touch the top of them. Aaron, Aaron, I promised you, and I'm a man with my burb. I promised you a trip to Hawaii for your 30th. Now, that's not in the cards because I think Hawaii said no thanks to everyone. I think they put a ... And of course. I think they put a close sign on their front door. But, I still would like to take the three of us to Hawaii. At some. So, so that's gonna be my gift to you. Well, Hawaii, we're ignoring your request. Well, that kind of leads directly into what I had planned for today's episode.

Aaron, we can't go to Hawaii. So how about we bring Hawaii to you? I just jumped a hell of a whole bucket of sand on me for my feeling. I can't see. Hold on, sand and margaritas. You're being in a margaritas. Yeah, margaritas. Why did you make them separate? Why did you mix them?

Hawaii's famous drink of margarita. Dumped all over you and sand. Wait, hold on. Isn't if you drive through Texas to the border, don't you then go into Hawaii? Wasted away again and the fucking Hawaii! This is the worst birthday party I've ever had. What were you saying? Is this really, is this really hey real real Hawaiian style?

No, I just have rules. I just prepared some riddles. So they didn't plan anything. No, hold on. Hold on. In honor of your birthday, Aaron, every good birthday party needs a what JPC? Don't. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do That was your birthday cake. Oh, thanks. And it was your birthday. It's your birthday as well.

He wasn't going to either one of the things that he propoded to be good at. Well, Aaron, there's no better way to celebrate you than just being here with you. Your favorite people we have to assume. He's never saying, but we have to assume. Just judging by how you choose to spin your time. We have to assume it's still your favorite people in the world I think that how hard you two are laughing at you two being my two favorite people Aaron has a matter of public record the information that the public has available to you We would force we'd be forced to believe that these are two of, it has to be topped in.

Legally for in your top 10. I will say, when in 300 years, Hey, we're gonna run all the sort of like a cockroach. This is gonna survive. People are gonna think that you're my two favorite people, but you know what that means? People are gonna think that you, to consider me a friend, so,

a couple of short. Not favorite, no, but a friend, sure. Friendly acquaintance. Sort of like when you had the same male person for a couple years and then you see them out at a restaurant. And you're like, hey, a lot of myself has been arriving damaged. Can you do something about that?

I haven't been with your male person for like 18 months and you're like, okay, okay, yeah, totally I've noticed here's a thing can I ask you guys a question? Why why in the year 2021 the year of our Lord 2021 is there still junk mail? Like why am I still getting Why is there an email or an a Real physical mail like why am I still getting physical why is there an email or an real, physical mail? Like, why am I still getting physical junk mail, like credit card offers and just like promotional flyers

from like companies and such, like, why am I still getting that stuff? I think while the boomers are still alive, we're gonna keep getting that stuff. That's right. What's funny is we moved, we moved a couple months ago at this point and there was a paper that was just showing up on our door

and I opened it one day and it's like the penny saver and just coupons and there was a number on the bag that was like if you don't wanna get this anymore, call this number. And so I called the number and I was like, hey, like I- You get sucked into the phone and into the past. I truly, I was like, it was the wildest experience. I was like, hey, like, you get sucked into the phone and then to the past. I truly, I was like, it was the wildest experience.

I was like, hey, I don't wanna get this. I moved into this house and we never signed up for this. I am a new person, but I please stop sending it to my address. And they were like, new person, hold on, did you say the phrase, I'm a new person? I think I may have, I think I may have. Do you get baptized in your new house?

I must have, yeah, John, the Baptist. So the person on the phone, who was like, okay, like, what's your phone number? And I must have, yeah, John, John, the Baptist. So the person on the phone, who was like, okay, what's your phone number? And I was like, well, no, I don't need you to have my phone number. Here's my address, this is where you're sending the thing, just stop sending it to this address, please. And they were like, can I get your email?

And I was like, no, you can't have any of that. Because if I give you my information, you're just going to send me stuff. And the whole point of the call is to stop being sent this up. You gotta respect it. It's not the kind of deal I have to. And so, finally, the person was like, yes, it'll stop. We won't send that anymore.

Yes, it'll stop. We won't send it anymore. I still get it. But I'm not gonna call back again, because that doesn't work. So, it's like, I just get it forever now. And I just have to throw away a newspaper like four times a week.

It's wild. Yeah, the same thing. It sits in our lawn and like, I see it and I'm like, I don't even want to touch it. And then like weather will happen and I'm like, fuck, I gotta touch this. It's the worst. It's impossible to cancel that too.

And like, just any junk mail, it's like there's no, a junk email I can be like unsubscribe. Oh, it's easy, it's done. But a junk physical piece of mail and like, I don't know who, I don't know who to sit this to be. I don't know how to tell them never to do this again. Anyway, Aaron happy birthday. Aaron, is anything do you have any goals for 30? Like for either the age 30 or in your 30s, do you have anything where you're like, now's the time I'm going to do this. Get this done.

I think that's a great question. I think my major goal is to do, it's just to be a better friend to myself. Oh, I thought you're going to say to us, but yeah, to you too. To who? Yeah, to myself. You've got to take care of you first, Aaron. You've got to take care of you first. And I think that I didn't do that in my 20s, sort of a people pleaser, sort of running around trying to fill up other people's cups. And now I go like, that actually is not helpful to a lot of people. And that didn't make me a good friend at all. So I'm going to just try to be a better ally and friend to myself. That's great. I love that, Aaron. And then I'm also going to learn how to cook better.

That last one I don't know. I'm gonna do the splits. This time for real. They say the best goals are ones that you just trail off in the middle of. Yeah, I'm gonna buy a planner. Maybe two and a half years ago, I bought you a machine that's supposed to help you do this. A machine! A machine! That is the best way to describe it.

Yes, I've used it. Yes, it hurt. Next question. Aaron, can I tell you something? I've been doing a lot more stretching over the past like two months. I was just like, I'm not a very flexible person. I'm trying to do stretching. And one of the wildest things for me, I'm, I'm a 32 year old man.

One of the wildest things to me that I've developed in my 30s is an awareness of my hips. Because I've been there the whole time. And sometimes whenever anywhere in my life up to this point has been like stretch your hips. I'm like, I know what that means. I do. I have stretched my hips since then and I'm like, nope, I wasn't doing it. The whole my whole life when someone was like stretch your hips. I wasn't doing it. Now I feel like I am doing it. That is wild to me. How does it feel? It feels like how everyone has always described stretching.

And then I was like, yeah, I guess I get that. It just doesn't feel that way for me. I'm like, no, you were just doing it wrong the whole time. And you can stretch. I have not been getting into yoga, just like just like general stretching. I tried one yoga class. And there was a man who was just like,

now move from like forward dog to down facing warrior upwards, eagle putt. I'm like, I don't know the name. I don't know what these are, man. You got to stop using the fucking names. And he's like, I'm on the phone with my son. Please, shut up. That you're just stretching is great.

You just brought out a memory that I had suppressed in my brain about being in yoga class once. One time I was in a yoga class. I think it was a hot yoga class. Yeah, it was nice. Yeah, pretty cool. But the instructor, we were doing like the hip stretch. Okay. And she came over to me and then she said,

you have like the perfect body to carry a baby. You just have the perfect shape and hips and build the carry a baby. Oh, wow. And I went, buy a girl a drink first. Holy crap, no, I was like, thanks. And I said, thank you.

And then I was haunted. I was like, what do you mean? Ew. Girl, you're saying that to me. Baby body. Girl, you you saying that to me? Baby body. Girl, you got baby body. Also, can I? It felt more invasive than someone saying nice ass.

If you walked by me, this is your instinct. If you were like, or even nice tits, if you've been like, you have nice tits, I would have been like, that's invasive and terrible, but not as bad as you do. Yeah, that's so awesome. You have a body for carrying babies. That's wild. Also, I do want to just to piggyback on JPC's story.

He has been doing a lot of stretching lately because he called me last week and he said, I don't know, I think I'm probably in the top 50 most handsome guys in Illinois and I went, ugh, it's a bit of a stretch. What time of day was this? Was this in the middle of the night?

I bet it was. He was calling. I think I'm gonna be, it's gotta be at least 50% style, right? I mean, come on. There's a video. I think you're no one percent. Aaron, I had a friend's dad,

another suppressed memory, a friend's dad in the high school told me that I have the perfect frame for being a boxer. And at the time, I was like, I didn't do anything physically. Like I didn't know exercising or know anything. And I was like, I was like, I didn't do anything physically. I didn't know exercising or know anything. And I was like, that's such a weird thing to say. Like, to say.

And then I was like, that's a weird thing for a friend's dad to say, right? Couldn't help but notice your body. Hi, I'm Evan's dad. Couldn't help but notice your body. Was he a boxer? Nope. Weird. Not as far as I know.

There's something about, about like maybe if he was like a boxing coach and that was life and he was like, you're like wingspan would be great. You should come out of my studio and boss. I told the story wrong so a guy comes up and he goes, Hey kid, you got the frame to be a great boxer rock. And that's why he got put to work at you all. I'm not trying to validate that experience because that man should have never been commenting on your body. But I do think that if I were casting a movie with a boxer in the old time in the past in the 30s, I would cast someone who looks like

you. Aaron, you just described the villain. You just described Hey, Riddle City exactly. Whereas APC in the 30s plays a boxer. Oh, so I guess I did cast him as a boxer in the 30s. Yeah. I've been there, done that. Hi, once I was moving, this was maybe seven years ago or something. I was once moving apartments, and I hired movers,

but I was also helping. So I went to move something, and I picked up three boxes or something, because I was midwestern, and I'm like, let me help. So I picked up three very heavy boxes and helped move them. And one of the lead guys who was helping moving was like, Jesus Christ, you're strong as an ox. And I was like, oh, thanks.

He goes, what do you do? And I go comedian. And he started laughing. He goes, that's funny, man. And I was like, okay. And then I walked away. That. So he thought I was lying.

Oh, but you are at the end of the day, someone called you strong. Yeah, which is flattering. And he was one of the lead guys. But he also wasn't, this wasn't just one of the movers. This is one of the lead movers. He was John Beljohn of movers. But then he goes, guys, guys, everybody take a break. Look at this guy, he's strong as an ox.

And he goes, I bet you can't move that couch. And then I moved it and go, so I bet you can't move that table and then I moved it and he's like, I bet you can't move this and he's like, well, we're done. He hugged Finger ass. He hugged Finger ass and you painted the whole fence. Yeah, hate to see it. Yeah, hate to see it.

Yeah, hate to see it, but you're not surprised. I guess I did it with a me halt. Me halt. Me halt. All right, another this, another this, we got an email. This email is coming to us from Jake in Minneapolis. From St.Fern? Oh, you know what I did nisk. Let me email back.

Aaron, do you know that guy? I do. Mm-hmm. The new one, the new Jake from St.Fern. Yeah, he's super so nice. 10 out of 10 can't recommend enough, lovely human. Jake says, absolutely love the show. Here's a riddle I wrote.

I hope you like it. Jake, I hope they like it as well. I already like it. I hope my two friends also like it. We like riddles this year. Here we go. Yes. Sunlight made bounce, blows, tramps, save the day,

or a walking cliche. Hold on, I'm confused because you were reading that like you do when you read the lyrics in that. I was just about to say that. So I wasn't even paying attention because I was like, oh, it's like he's reading lyrics. So I guess all I could say next is, are you talking fire?

What you are talking about is Patreon content and the people who are listening to this show cannot know about that. I think that's a lot of content. I can't lie. God, if they find out about the Patreon, they're going to go to Patreon. The PC does a thing that's named that tune, but it's the opposite of that. It's actually not named that tune at all. There's no reason to say that. Oh, no.

The people who are in the Patreon were ruined. And we laugh and laugh, and it's a really good time. So, James, was that first word sunlight? Here's the riddle again. Sunlight may bounce, blows, trounced, save the day, or a walking cliché. There's a question mark at the end. Wedding. Or mirror.

Okay. Wedding in a mirror, I do like both of those. No, not correct. Walking cliché. Save the day or a walking cliché. Okay. Mm-hmm. Save the day or a walking cliche. Um, okay. Uh, Eddie, I gotta, I gotta, Eddie. Hey, rock, you give me a box of rock.

Okay. Uh, hit one. Think all time, all times. Um, so Adam, you'll take this one. Oh, hey, Aaron. No kidding, there are no jokes anymore. Now that you're 30, you can't make the jokes anymore and you'll take this one. I was the young gun I was the young one months remember you guys when we started I was 26 and I was all I'm a little baby

Look at your fucking No getting old rules what guess what the alternative to getting old is Legend now if you watch death comes her The play Moses the Moses Madman's Dead see stop Aaron what are you trying to say Moses is place you can't dead stop a girl on her birthday You can't dead stop a girl on her birthday. I want to see you see it. Yeah. I want to see you seeing

Aaron you are Moses GPC you and I are Whoever Moses is leading to get free or whatever, does that. Hell yeah, yeah. So Aaron you're trying to lead us to freedom, but you are terrible with directions, so you're trying to find where to go. Oh my god, okay, hold on.

Oh, you're good to talk to God. Oh no, no, not again. Do we have to plug our ears? No, yeah, I'm sorry. Thank you, this is not again. Do we have to plug our ears? No, um, yeah, I'm sorry. Thank you. This is not one of the situations with the list of commandments that he gave where I had to really think about it and try to write it out and remember what he said. He just talked so fast.

He gave me those commandments so so fast. Well, can you go, I just want to make sure we got him correctly. If you wrote him down and they weren't precise, I just want to make sure that we have the gist of it. So I have down here, Commandment number one, that shall always praise Moses. Is that right? It sounds right for sure. There's definitely some of the words in there.

And what the left here. Can we do this when we get to where we're going maybe? I'm giving a second. Personally, I'm hungry. I would love to have Moses. Do you have any more of that mana? No. That was good.

What was that mana? It was like light. It was like fluffy. It was like airy, but it was like good. Sorry, I'm trying to focus. It's saying left here, but this isn't, this is a sea. This is a body of water. What's saying left?

What's saying left? God, PS.S. Oh You're still talking to your pubes that are on fire? That was before and that was something else Oh, you have cool videos? Commandment number two don't doubt shall not ask about thy neighbor's climidia and don't be jealous of it either Oh, that's another neighbor one because commandment number number seven is Thou shalt not covet Thigh neighbor's dog. Yes.

And... So there's two neighbor ones? That seems like a lot focus on this. There's three. There's three. And there's spread out, they're not back to back. The neighbors don't kill anybody, I think. Oh, okay. Unless you disagree with them or you want to, that must be it. Commandment number five was, God, can you please go slower?

What is the golden rule? Is that something? It's respect your teacher. Yes, I'm doing that. Yeah, I asked him to go slow to my teacher as teacher would do on to you or something. I think. Have you ever asked God to go slower? He created the world in seven days. No, I never talked to him I don't know him. I don't know him either That's what he told you. He say create the world in seven days. Yeah, well six days and on the seventh day He rested. It took me eight months to build my hut. That's what I'm saying God my crotch is still on fire

Left here. you know what? Ah! Parting the sea. Whoa! We should probably run, because I don't know how long I can do this for. Okay. There's blood coming out of your nose. Yeah, let's run.

But you put something else. But you, wait a second, what's this little creature scuttling down here in the sea? Wait, is this a crab? That's something else. Was the mana crab meat? sea. Wait, is this a crab? That's something else. Was the mana crab meat? Yeah. Oh, god.

Oh, it's bugs. It's basically bugs. I was like, bugs? Those are water bugs. There is so much pressure on me right now. God is doing, just giving me way too many responsibilities. And you guys are being so needy and picky. And I'm just trying to get you across the sea

and trying to give you these commandments. I don't remember what they are. He said to be good to people but I'm not going to communicate it clearly enough if people are going to use Christianity to do bad. Christianity. Christianity. Well, eventually it's going to mutate so bad into Christianity. Uh, Moses, fuck, fuck. Look at the ocean floor. There's all these creatures dying. You might want to put the water on top of them QD is them now, but it gets so so so much worse

Honestly, I think I'm ready to go back to Egypt. I think I could just be Egyptian. I think that's I think I might just be I'm setting you free Uh, I don't want to die out here. You kidnapped us I don't want to die out here. You kidnapped us. See? I got to read the Bible one day. We got to read that Bible. We got to read that Bible.

Okay, can we get the rid of one more time? Sunlight May Bounce blows trounced. Save the day or a walking cliche. Is this like armor? Like an adult? Oh, that's a great answer. Addle the answer is this is a night in shining armor. Oh.

Jake from Minneapolis says, keep up the excellent work all the best now. Jake sent an email and of course, 2018. So did we keep up the excellent work or did the quality slide wait out? Did you tell us? I'd like to see a scene. You were two nights and you are on a quest.

Adel, your armor is a little too shiny, and JPC is just frustrated because it keeps shining in his eyes, and bringing too much attention to the two of you. What hoe this dragon stands, no chance be twix the two of us in our might. Ha ha ha ha. I say sir hot swain Might I have a word with you before we engage the dragon? Excuse us for a but a moment good dragon. Oh, what is it? Oh?

I'll give you five. Thank you five five moments. Thank you five got you back So not dog what ever be the issue so hot swain? I could barely see for every time you swing your armored Got you back. So not dog, what ever be the issue? So hot swane. I can barely see. For every time you swing your arm or dream about, I don't agree to other legs, but it doesn't matter. What's the one I'm looking for? Uh, Paul, Spalder's.

Paulder's? Paulder's quite right, is he? Yeah, it's a Spalder. Pauldren! Pauldren! Nope, I got it. It's the shoulder one. Pauldren. Every time you swing your Paldrin about, the glam from it,

it bitwicks my eyes and bewitches my visions. Wait, a Paldrin is what a witch uses, correct? Are you a witch? That's a- I believe, I believe, that's a kettle. I believe a witch uses a kettle.

Do you want me to step in here? I don't what- I know I told you I'd come back. It's a cauldron. Are you thinking cauldron? That's what it is. That's what a witch uses a kettle. Do you want me to step in here? I don't want... I know I told you I'd come back. It's a cauldron, are you thinking cauldron? That's what it is. That's what a witch uses. Can- Hey, Dragon, well I have you and what you're googling? What's up? Uh, this. It's like a long-

It's like a lance, but it's got like an axe head at the end. Okay. It's like a long axe with a plan- Is it like a lance? Is it a Joey or a Justin? It's- I don't believe so I want to say Halbert

I'm guessing it's a halberd. It's a halberd It's a halberd consists of an app played talk with the spike mountain on a long shaft. You have it Excellent. Thank you fucking fucking doctor armor over here. What is your issue with my armor? Might not just your merely armor. It's more your vamp races? Uh, and your croquette? I believe. Uh, and then of course there's the helm? What's the face- the cage called? It's the...the helm? Do you want me to tell you where you want to figure it out? I don't. It's on the tip of my tongue. Croquette. That race is Paul Drin-Grieve.

Listen friend, I would have sold all these to the merchant But they weren't offering much coin Now I have put some jewels in some of them which give me you know 20% attack rate or a 15% speed ratio You have socketed items? You do not? No! I'm basically working with mundane shit here What in the Diablo are you doing?

We have to share loot drops You? We have to share loot drops. You will I have to share loot drops because I'm this individual- No, the individual loot. And then every time I store the Jordan drops it's always you first and you're like, it's mine, it's my turn, I was up for it. Well, I found an unidentified gem and I had to identify it because I have a- Yeah, but scroll of identification. Why do I have that?

Why can't I keep a scroll of identification? Too slow, I guess. I guess so. I can't find it a score of identification? Too slow, I guess. I guess so. I can't find it because everything that's coming up are these face masks that you can buy for COVID protection that have it on it, but it's not saying the name. What? Protection? Protection?

I'm a dragon. I see through space and time. I know everything that's happening at any given moment at all times. Oh, so COVID must be a lion's body with a eagle's head, spider feet and a bee's sting? How is COVID from any of those things? Cobra interacted, it was right there. Well, sure, if you wanna think about it, see? What is it?

Oh sure, if you want to think about it, see? What is it? Labeled Knight. All I know. I don't know, maybe just called like a face mask or something. I don't know. Viser. A viser. Viser.

Close home viser. Yep. All I know is that knights are the reason that we have salutes and handshakes. That's all I know. And I think knights are the reason that we drive on the right side of the road. I just know that kind of-

And nights are the reason why days exist. Yeah, I come alive at nights. Okay, we got another one, guys. And it pains me to say that this one also comes from 2018. This one is from Adam. Adam says, hi. Hi. Hi.

HRR. I love your mind expanding podcast, Adam, that cannot be what this is. Here's a puzzle. Here's a puzzle. Here's a puzzle that blows my tiny brain. OK. There's lots of ways of posing this riddle

as long as you tell it right. The snare you, you set up. blah, blah, blah, blah. Three diners are in a restaurant and the meal comes out to 30 pounds. Adam says, sorry, I'm British. Totally okay for this riddle, Adam, but watch yourself, Councillor. Well, I just said Knights are responsible for us driving on the right side of the road, which makes no sense because the bridge don't drive on the right side of the road. They each no sense because, no, the bridge, the bridge's no drama on the right side of the road. They each pay 10 pounds and don't tip the waiter. When the waiter hands the cash to the manager,

they realize there's been a mistake. The meal should have come to 25 pounds. The manager hands the waiter five one pound coins and asks the waiter to give it to the customers. The waiter decides to give the customers each $1, each three of them one coin each, and keep $2 for themselves as a tip. The customers now have $9 each. Hold on, sorry. I'm getting confused because you're oscillating

between $1 and pound. I'm sorry, you're totally right, I did that. Okay, so I'm not confused because my brain can stay on top of it. Shogra's attack, even if it's dirty. Is this part of the riddle is dollars a pound? No, dollars and pounds is all the same. It's pounds.

So the manager hands the waiter five one pound coins and asks the waiter to give it to the customers. The waiter decides to give the customers three coins each. So the each get three one pound coin and keep two pounds for themselves as a tip. The customers now have paid nine pounds each. Three nines are 27. The waiter kept two. That's 29. Where is the missing pound? Missing pound is in their stomachs because they all had quarter they had. Oh, wait, wait a minute. I I gotta eat something too. Everybody pays $10.

I'll say dollars because it's gonna be easier for your American brains. Everybody pays $10 money. Wait, it brings the money to the manager. The manager says there's a mistake. It should only be $25 money. Here's $5 money. Go give them back their money.

Can't split $5, $3 ways. So the waiter pockets two. Says this is my tip, gives each one of them a coin back So now the customers have each paid $9 each 3.9 9 times 3 is 27 and the waiter kept 2 that's 29 where is the missing pound the missing dollar the missing money I don't understand how they each paid nine Because they paid 10 yeah, then they each paid nine. Because they paid 10.

Yeah. And then they each got a coin back. They each got a coin back. So now they paid nine, nine times three, 27, plus two from the waiter, that's 29. But it's not 27 because the guy said it was only $25. That's true. The meal was only 25. And so he gave the waiter five dollars back.

The waiter gave each one of them three coins, which is 28. Yeah, that's 20, which is 30. Right. So I don't understand what's happening. So the waiter has that extra pound. What are you talking about? Adel get them.

The extra pound is everyone adjusting their belts because they're stuffed. Adel is correct. So, the answer to this riddle is in the way it's asked. The way it's asked is the customers have now paid $9 each. Three times nine is 27. The waiter kept an extra two, that's 29. So that math does work out to 29, but that is not the math that will get you to what you

actually need. What you actually need is that 25, because that 25 is what was paid. The five came back. They each got three. The waiter kept two. That equals 30. Yeah. See, this riddle sucks because that's like if I said, I have a riddle for you.

I have 10 apples. I give five to Aaron. Aaron gives me one back. Aaron gives me one back. You do remember. Five times one is five. Where'd the other apples go? It's like, wait, that's a totally different math problem. I'm so confused at this. Well, I think, Adelaide, the reason that you're so confused is because you, credit to you, didn't listen to what I was saying for the riddle and just did the

right math. So you're correct. you got it right. Most people- My man, if you go back and listen to this episode, you're gonna hear yourself say, I'm gonna say dollars for you dumb-dums, and you're gonna say, they pay $30, then the waiter gave them each back one coin. So I think you're the confusing one in this equation. I can't relate to this, I'm over here thriving.

Ha-ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Thank you, Adam. Adam said, hope this hurts your head. And thanks for the good work. It hurts my heart. Adam, we appreciate you thanking us for the good work. We haven't done good work in years. Well, speaking of doing good work, should we take a quick break to go visit some charities and do you have any comments? Yeah, doobies, do you clear these hard on charities?

These are paid sponsorships. But it's good work that we've done and we deserve a little break for ourselves. Maybe they can get me a birthday present over break. Oh, James, see that's what we do. That's exactly what we do. God, great idea. Okay, we'll be right back. Aaron, we got you these ads

Hey, JPC Yeah, you're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm Prinking at all and I'm setting up a website I just need some advice? This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online, whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand.

Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website. It engaged with your audience. And so anything for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Addle, come here, come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him.

Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production

and inventory and shipping are handled for you, saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing.

No, he's gonna shoot you. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website.

The prank site too. Well, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. The website was for. The website was for. The website was for.

The website was for. The website was for. The website was for. The website was for. The website was for. The website was for. The website was for. The website was for. The website was for. The website was for. The website was for. your store to benefit party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC.

What's up, battle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back.

Hey, Erin. Hey, Erin. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait. I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adel and JPC. Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an empath. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, have there never truly is a middle of the woods?

No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Adel, can you help? Yeah, actually, so as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this?

You seen this? Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career, relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you owl, owl. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Hmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works, way better than traditional therapy ever did.

And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, GPCs putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Mmm, dirty bread crumbs. Mmm.

Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp. H-E-L-P.com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D,

but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the two Ds. See the latter, JPC, helping atP.C. Hope you get home. Bye, baby. Am home. Who are we? What is this? I clink, clink, clink.

Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday. And we're all so excited to talk about him. But I want to talk about my favorite My favorite thing in the world. Oh, and that is the app rocket money. Oh Yeah, Aaron. That's one of my favorite things as well Mm-hmm rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills all in one place I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor and it helps me so much, especially

around tax season. Kling, cling, cling, cling, cling, cling. I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Kling, cling, cling.

It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off over three million. Oh, Clint, Clint, Clint. Over three million people have used rocket money saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rock. Stop. Clint, Clint, Clint, stop. No, Clint, Clint, click. Stop.

Throwing your money away, cancel unwirted subscriptions today and manage your expenses. The easy way by going to rocket money.com slash riddle. That's rocket money.com slash riddle. Rock at money.com slash riddle. And tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money, the website. I love your rocket money. It's like a rocket money. It's like a rocket money.

It's like a rocket money. It's like a rocket money. It's like a rocket money. It's like a rocket money. It's like a rocket money. It's like a rocket money. It's like a rocket money. It's like a rocket money.

It's like a rocket money. Okay, Adam, what did we say we were going to do during break? There was something we were supposed to do during break. We said that we were going to sing Aaron a song for her birthday What else did we say we said a lot? 30 flirty and thriving 30 flirty and thriving. Oh wait, this we just chef is here 30 33 13 coming on 13 13 going on 30 13 coming on 30

Oh, that's a poor version hashtag porn version 13 going on 30 came out when I was 13 and now I'm gonna be coming up. I'm gonna be on Thursday. Oh, that's a good one. Hashtag porn version. Hashtag porn version. 13 going on 30, came out when I was 13, and now I'm turning 30. That's amazing. That's really cool. And I saw it in theaters when I was 13, and I went, I can't wait to be 30. I'm so excited to be 30. My apartment's gonna look like that.

It doesn't. No one's apartment looks like the movies. Yeah, but I, yeah, that is, I'm excited. I've waited a long time to be 30. Well, I'm 39 and next week I'm going to four weddings and a funeral. Oh, like the movie twins. That movie's not good. By the way, that is so many weddings at a funeral. They're all happening at once. I love in November wedding. I love in November wedding. I love in November funeral. Speaking of movies, wow, this is a crazy setup for this next one. This comes from John. John says, Hey, Adel Aaron in JPC, big fan of the show, been listening since episode one. And I think and I think you three are great.

Oh, never mind. Aaron, I think you're gonna get a kick out of this. I recently watched the movie Free Guy and I absolutely hated it. It was really bad. So I decided to submit some riddles based on other terrible Ryan Reynolds movies. I tried to set up the riddles so they rhymed and the missing word will be the name of the movie. I hope you enjoyed this more than I enjoyed the movie free guy with Ryan Reynolds.

Can I say this is Sarah and Dupedis? I watched that movie two nights ago while super high. And there's parts where I was like, this is actually kind of interesting. And then they got to the point where I have to assume that these were famous Twitch streamers. I didn't recognize any of them, but I have to assume that they're actual Twitch streamers.

One of them was definitely Ninja. I don't know about the other ones. And their acting was so bad that it took me out of the movie, even though I was stoned out of my fucking gourd, which is impressive, because I watched a Squid Game, and when the American actors came on, I still was with the movie where I was like,

these are obviously bad actors, but I'm still sticking with it. These Twitch streamers were such bad actors that I was like uh this is a bad movie I could write a paper on why I think that was intentional why they had them be yeah the twitch streamers in that movie they're like little cutaways where they like they're like audience or against where they're like is this really happening like that that's what they're a whole job is They're not supposed to be like good editors. I couldn't write a paper on them. I'm talking about the billionaires in Squid Game. Ah. Uh, the, uh, uh, I watched a free guy,

and I was like, this is an okay movie. And then I saw Dune in theaters, and I want, never mind, this is what a good movie is. I think a lot of our brains forgot what a good movie is for like all of 2020. Yeah. What I watched Dune, I was like, I haven't. Yeah, what I watched do, and I was like, I haven't felt this way since I watched the movie

since I was a kid. Oh wow, should we watch the theaters or at home? Oh theaters. But I normally am someone who says, don't go to movie theaters or not worth it because I'm such an old lady and I think they're way too loud and bad for our ears, but this is maybe the only time I would ever recommend seeing something in theaters.

I have an 80s TV even for me Even for you. I'm serious. I would I'm not leading you astray I think that you're gonna go think you there and I'll go you welcome add-ons and then we'll do the Handshake from the parent trap because we're going to learn it. Adel, please As you know as of right now, I'm campaigning very hard to make Addle learn the parent trap handshake with me. Aaron, do you have a decade to do it? It could be one of the things that you do in your 30s. Nananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananan of what these will be. No, is there an example one? There's not an example one.

I tried to set up the rentals so they rhymed in the missing word. So there's a missing word in each one of these. We'll be the name of the movie that they're trying to get you to guess. We're all Ryan Reynolds movies. Okay, I think we got it. Okay.

Am I stuck with a cage or am I stuck in this cave? I'll have to be keener if my family's to be saved. A Duke, a stone, and Dreamworks animation, best animated feature Oscar and Globe nomination, and it launched a franchise. I'm in one of my moods way before modern man all you had was the crudes Deadpool Dead just friends. I think the answer is the crudes Aaron have you seen the crudes no Definitely maybe I don't know I guess Ryan Reynolds isn't the crudes. I've never seen the crids An animated film from 2013 Hmm never seen it didn't know he was in it,

but I could tell by your description. You could tell. You could tell, I think it was about cavemen. Yeah. The words, Keener Duke and Stone are all in here also. And those are Catherine Keener and Mastone. And what's that guy, something Duke?

I think he was like a Duke. It's David Duke, the Clansman David Duke. Yes. Okay, you guys ready for your next one? Yes. Yes. A comic book adaptation. Okay, I'm intrigued. Wait, let him finish. It could be green lantern to be honest. A comic book adaptation. Okay, I'm intrigued. Plus, it's got Kevin Bacon and the woman from weeds. Plus it's got Kevin Bacon and the woman from Weeds? Okay, what's the- what's a- Dello? The staff of Jericho, why?

Like watching men in black after being poked in the eye? What did God let the- why did God let this movie happen to me? I guess I'll file a complaint with the... X-men. MLB. M-I- X man MLB MLB I gotta call the hello Facebook I have it. I want some bad movie I didn't like I saw the line in it and then I forgot what's what's the woman from Weeds name to shoot the ice coffee Julia Julie Mary Mary Mary Louise Parker Mary Louise Parker. That's right MLP MLP Isn't Paul Giamondi's dad like the commissioner baseball or something? Huh? I love him. Does he play it in a movie?

Wow Paul Giamondi should play Paul Giamondi should play the commissioner of baseball Wow, Paul Giamatti should play, Paul Giamatti should play the commissioner of baseball. As his dad, he should play his dad in a movie where Paul Giamatti is his son and they do that age down thing for when he like talks to like a young Paul Giamatti. He'd kill that role. He'd kill that role. So Kevin Bacon was in, Kevin Bacon and Ryan Reynolds were both in X-Men movies because Kevin Bacon played some sort of villain. I don't know if Mary Louise Parker was in it.

Not it's not an X-Men movie. I don't know if it's an X-Men movie. I don't know if it's an X-Men movie. Bacon being in Deadpool or Green Lantern. Well, it's not either one of those, so that's great. So it's a different comic book adaptation. And it's not Men in Black. No, Aaron, that's interesting because they mention watching Men in Black after being

poked in the eye. Is it Hollow Man? It's...no, that's a kind of a big... But being poked in the eye would mean you have one eye which means Cyclops which means X-Man though. I think that this movie, I remembered this movie, I saw this movie. This movie was really trying to be a Min and Black movie. It was really going...what's that?

Min and Black too. No, I mean it wasn't a Philly black, what's that? Min and black, too. No, I mean, it wasn't affiliate, I don't think with min and black at all. Let's see, I'll hurry it again. So it has to do with like aliens and like the secret organization, getting rid of aliens. Oh, wait.

Oh, does he have it? Does he have it? Does he have it? Ladies and gentlemen, does he have it? Can't he seal the deal? I got free guy. Jonah Hex. Dude, Jonah Hex is close. Does he have it ladies and gentlemen does he have it can he seal the deal i got free guy jona hex Dude jona hex is close was kept with no ryan riddles was not in jona hex now that is a great famous

um is it what does it have to rhyme with what's the word we're afraid uh The i i will say that this is This is the the most perfect rhyme but why did God let this movie happen to me? I guess I'll file a complaint with the... It ends with a D. Aaron, correct? It ends with a D. You have got it. It's like, it's the same, it's like a M-I-B, but it's a different thing. It's different letters.

It is something I do. It's different letters. It's different letters. I think my entire brain missed every part of this movie and they're advertising. Something indeed. It was on billboards and it's like, L.I.

Can I give you the co-star? Can I give you the co-star? Yes. Ryan Reynolds with Jeff Bridges. Yes. And Jeff Bridges plays like an old cowboy. Like, it was just getting his, no.

Collecting his Jeff Bridges check for this one. The small about skis? I'm not going to remember it but it's like three or four letters and it's in a row and the last one is D. T-M-N-T. You got to Aaron. I got to give it to you. This is this is the real name of this movie. B-P-M-D. R-I-P-D. They play officers in the rest in peace department and it's not aliens. Some of it's ghosts. It's dead people. it's dead people that they who are like doing dead people cry So they have to go in like save the world. Yep. It's basically been a block. We're so many beautiful scripts not being produced It's men and black meets ghost busters. I want to see a scene

RIPD that's what they're called it's called the RIPD. Yeah, I saw this movie. It was bad So JPC you are a new member of the RIPD, that's what they're called. It's called the RIPD, yeah. I saw this movie, it was bad. So JPC, you are a new member of the RIPD. Okay. And you have to go to a, I wanna say a graveyard where Aaron is like haunting around and you have to do whatever they do to ghosts, I guess. Okay. Now you just stand right where you are, dude.

But hold on now. I do fast, you can't catch me. Hold on. I don't move so fast in the morning. Me Jeff Bridges. I was a speed skater before I died. But you just admit. You just admit just now that you died. No, I'm not even bad.

If you're a ghost, you gotta come with me to the R-I-P-D You gotta catch me first! Come on, officer! Officer? Oh, that officer is my father's name. I'm Jeff Bridges and I'm a member of the R-I-P-D Uh, Ripet, um, it's my fault. I dug up the grave of Anton Ono and um not really not the one that you're thinking of I'm happy to have the same name. Oh, and I was also a speed skater But I fiddled with the bones and I think I'm to cause this is a situation that I like to look into camera

Conna and oh no Why is there a camera here? I'm get bridges. See Why is there a camera here? I'm Jeff Bridges. Seeing. That's not a terrible Jeff Bridges impersonation. No, that's Jeff Bridges just like, that's him just having fun. Yeah. Oh, okay.

Ready for your next one? Yes. This is a fun game. I like these. Summer Blockbuster. Big budget IP. Martin Campbell directed Dion baby DP An intergalactic

The only force hold on is that that sounds like a Catherine O'Hare's character from shits Creek is saying a DP's name Did memoirs from a geisha? An intergalactic police force, the yellow essence of fear. Could this be the biggest movie of the year? This thing's got a ring. Ryan Reynolds can earn. Oh yeah. Well, maybe for some, but not for the green lantern.

Green lantern. Was he John Stewart in that one? Yeah, he put like the Daily Show host. Is that what you mean? Is that one of the green lanterns as John Stewart? Is it? Wait, wait. Are we talking about the Daily Show host? No, I think one of the, I think there's like four people

who have been like, quote unquote, the green lantern. And I think one of them, it was named as John Stewart. Yeah, I think so. I think his guy's name was Hal, Hal something. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hal sparks, um, Tux, who. I've never seen that movie. I think I saw it.

I saw this one in theaters and man, it was bad. And nobody saw it. Like this one lost money. It was, it was a big bust for them. But I think this is, I don't know if this is where he met Blake Lively, but Blake Lively was in this movie and then later they got married. So. So not a total waste time. I didn't know if this is where he met Blake Lively, but Blake Lively was in this movie, and then later they got married. So.

So not a total waste time. I also didn't know that Ryan Reynolds was married to Scarlett Johansson for like two years. Oh, yeah. I completely have forgotten about that. Here's a list of Green Lanterns. Alan Scott, Hal Jordan, Guy Gordner, John Stewart, Kyle Rainer, Simon Baz, and Jessica Cruz.

Oh, Jessica Cruz. Finally got a lady in there. All right. One of seven. All right. You guys ready for your next one? Yes, Daddy. Okay.

Finally one Aaron Keef can enjoy. And three female leads share the screen with our boy. I don't like this movie. Just friends. Comedy, mystery, romance, insane. And he's even working for the Clinton campaign. And Abigail Brezlin is playing his baby. I already said that.

Well, I see this movie. Definitely, maybe. I have terrible rom-com. Sean and I argue about that. He thinks it's a pretty good movie, and I think it's terrible. I've never heard of this. Dude, the part where he's working for Bill Clinton in this movie, I'm like, what are we doing?

It's kind of like the same concept of how I met your mother. He's like telling his little girl, uh, the story of like all the women he's ever in love with. And then she has to guess which one who's her mom, I guess. And then like, he's like, she guesses the mom, but they're divorced. And then she's like, I think you were in love with this other woman. You should go and be with her. It sounds like one. And then they go's like she guesses at the mom but they're divorced and then she's like I think you were in love with this other woman you should go and be with her It sounds like when they go to her house. It sounds like we're on run outs is bragging about all the women He slept with and they kind of and then they do go to her house

I forgot about the end they go to her house and he's got his daughter there and he's like hey my daughter I told her the story of us and she thinks where I love the girls like get the fuck out of here You fucking weirdo. Is it I love this shirt? I love his shirt's one of them Elizabeth banks Elizabeth banks. Yeah, and that's her that's the actual mom. Yeah, and then Sport Amanda Pete someone I don't remember spoiler alert. I love him saying spoiler Definitely maybe we came out 20 years ago. Okay. There's only two more of these left. Okay. Look, college is hard and CalPen needs to fuck, but it's our boy Ryan Reynolds who has all the luck

except when it comes to getting his degree or maybe perhaps getting to read. Can he graduate on time and end up beside her? Why he can do anything because he's National Ampune's van Wilder. I hate this. I hate in that movie. And here's something I discovered. There's like, there's like 30 movies in history

and I'm not being hyperbolic. Where someone puts something awful into food and then somebody else eats it. And the person is like, oh, this is like exceedingly delicious and it makes me so mad. Like there's a scene in road trip where like somebody eats something with pubes in it and they're like so tasty.

And there's like, I'm taking my headphones off eats something with pubes in it and they're like so tasty. And there's like. I'm taking my headphones off. Give me a thumbs up when this is over. What's happening? In the help, don't they put like shit in a pie? And they're like yum yum yum. But in Van Wilder, I think they pump donuts full of like dog semen.

And then they eat them and they're like, is it just me or these the best donuts you've ever had? It makes me so mad. Why do movies keep doing this? Yeah, I don't know. Maybe it was just like, it was a, there are, I mean, there are tropes in comedy movies, but this is technically a comedy movie

and there's not a single comedy movie on this planet that ages well after 10 years. I also saw it in the last week. I've seen three. I've seen three. I've seen three. TV shows in the last week I've seen three TV shows in the last week Where somebody will say something and the other person is like Kind of dismissive or rude or whatever and the person as they leave goes good talk good talk

And I'm like nobody fucking says good talk after like I hate that trope I hate it I said that after ever, everybody leaves the Zoom, and then it's just me and I'm looking at a black screen. I go, good job. Good job. I think there might be one exception to what JPC just said. I'm not 100% sure, because it's been a while since I've seen it.

But I think- Please say the hangover. The hangover is still kind of perfect. I actually can't think of a single thing wrong with that movie. You can't make comedy anymore anymore because everyone's so sensitive. I have to go make the Joker and the mastermind to the old movie I made I'm such a good director. You can guess what who's impression I'm doing. Scoresasy.

Exactly. No, I actually like Martin Scores-Avies. That's the one Broadway director that I'm like carry on. But he just does his thing. Has someone edit your movies because they're too long. What was I saying? Oh, School of Rock, I think still holds up. That's a pretty good comedy. Yeah, I, you know, also, like, I think a lot of

a comedy that are like four kids too, 10 to age better because there's not like a bunch of like risqué stuff in like kids movies, you know? Right. I, the tweet at us if you think there's a movie that holds up, and if it doesn't, we'll block you. Any movie. Yeah. Any movie that holds up.

Any movie that holds up, and if I can't hold it up in my little spaghetti arms, I block you. All right, you got one more, are you ready? Yes, please. A chef who's a cook, a kek who's a dick, a young John, John Francis daily in this flick. And though this film did not achieve great acclaim, without it, we wouldn't have the penis showing game.

And if the shenanigans are just too grating, I don't recommend that you watch... Chef with John Favreau. The proposal. Please don't watch Chef with John Favreau. Please don't watch Chef with John Favreau. The proposal. Please don't watch Chef with John Favreau. Please don't watch Chef with John Favreau. What is the genie showing game? Well, that's a, Adelaide will say that there is a big component of this movie.

The crazy. This movie? No, I guess I get where you're going with that. What's the crime again? And if the shenanigans, and I don't know if this helps, but shenanigans is in bold, I guess I'm betting that won't help, are just too grating. I don't recommend that you watch.

Grating. Grating, grating, easy. Meeting. This maybe, I'm sorry, Aaron, what'd you say? Meeting? No, this maybe a movie, I mean, this could be a Ryan Reynolds flick that you guys just did not see.

Is shenanigans like Benagans? Is that like a place you were to? You're that one-to-one, one-to-one, you got it. Office space? It is not office space. What was the name of the place in office space? Was it also shenanigans? Maybe.

I don't remember. I know that shenanigans is the place in super troopers because I remember him saying, I'm an epistle whip, the next person know that Shenanigans is the place in super troopers because I remember him saying, I'm an epistle whip, the next person who says shenanigans and they say, hey, Farva, what's that restaurant you like with all the goofy shit on your wall? And he goes shenanigans and they all whip out their pistols to give to the chief.

That movie doesn't age well. This movie, this is from 2005. This movie does not age well. I would say no one even liked it when it came out. That's always a good sign. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Is it you guys a girl in the pizza place? No, that's a great guess because that was a TV show that Ryan Reynolds was in. That is a great guess. But it does not rhyme with grading.

Grading. Is this a one word title? It's a one word title. It has no lip sees in it. Debating. A chef who's a cook? A kek? Who's a one word title. It has no lip sees in it. Debating. A chef who's a cook? A kek? Who's a dick? What's a kek?

Well, a- Kekner. David Kekner is in this movie and he plays a dick. He's always playing a dick. I don't even know. It's not increment, no. So you got Shenanigans as a restaurant. You got that there's a chef in there who's a cook

played by Dean Cook, Dean Cook in this movie. And it rhymes with grading. So what's... Waiting, just called it grading. Waiting. It sounds grading. It's probably got a bunch of waiters. This is a movie called Waiting.

It is about a bunch of waiters. Ryan Reynolds character in this is a character who is only attracted to underage girls. That's just a part of this movie. What the fuck? Are you cut that part? Are you cut that part? There's a whole plot line of this movie

of him wanting to sleep with a host who's like turns 18 next week. And he's like trying to like, am I gonna hook up with this girl who turns 18 next week? Yeah, that's this movie. I didn't think it before, but now I'm thinking, does Ryan Reynolds suck? I don't know if he wrote it. He made some fucking crazy movies.

He made some bad choices. He made some bad choices, but you know, it all got him to where he is today. In free guy, one of the worst movies. Okay, John writes, seriously, I love this show so much. You are all amazing. in free guy, one of the worst movies. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha is the highlight of my week, I always look forward to recording with you guys. Best John. John, that's incredibly kind. Thank you so much for all of that. John, I totally get it. Any podcaster I listen to, I feel like is my old friend and they're not.

I have never met them, but I feel like they are, so I totally get it. Well, I don't know, I think that this, John, is maybe in a different situation because they say at the end of the email, I always look forward to recording with you guys. Wow. Come on out, John. That's... Hold on, Aaron. Aaron, there's a John that records with us every episode.

Right? This email is from John Patrick Cohen. I didn't say that this was an email. This is John Patrick Cohen just talking. Wait a minute. This is being read off at Google Doc on my computer. You're pretty shit. This is out of the email. You said it was from 2018. No, you didn't. No, I didn't. I did not. I said the previous one was from 2018. This is the biggest twist in Hey Riddell,

Riddell history. Aaron deadstop. You thought an email from 2018 was reverencing the movie free guy. No Aaron No, I'm just trying to say that I thought you implied that it was an email. Oh I have to rethink everything the brains the first to go at 30 the brains the first I Complemented him I said that these were great and then I loved them. I would say that whole that whole thing You just pulled on us is the hundred times better than free guy. I read I read that these were great and then I loved them. I would say that whole thing you just pulled on us

is 100 times better than free guy. I read that last part to Mariah, and I said, I always look forward to recording with you guys. And she was like, I don't know, I don't think that they're gonna get it. And I'm like, oh, I think that they're gonna get it like immediately, because I say recording with you guys. Well, I thought it was a fan being like,

I'm an idiot who trusts you. I being like I'm an idiot who trusts you I first of all I never lied to you. Yes, you did no mr. policeman. I I gave you all the clues the clues are there no the clues were there the whole time This is the same thing is lying It was the snowman. I said this email comes to you. I said, this message comes to us from John. Play it back. You go back and look at the tape. I totally call the clues.

I totally heard you say I look forward to recording with you or whatever you said. But in my head, I was like, well, he just joked about being parasocial. So I was like, in his mind, he's like, I'm such good friends, I record with you. Did I say it wrong? I feel like we are all friends in real life.

We are not wrong. Am I wrong? Here's what you're talking about. I record with you. Did I say it wrong? I feel like we are all friends in real life. Am I wrong? Am I wrong? Here's what I got. I feel that way. You get to remember why. You get to remember why. Here's the number one most successful trick you just played in the last two minutes with this what you wrote.

It was so earnest and sincere in loving. Which are three qualities I don't associate with you on this podcast. Right now you guys are watching me walk away and you're watching my little leg you know I'm dragging behind dragon behind but then it starts straight now it starts walking and say it's guys are so say and you pan up and guess who's walking away it's not that guy because he's we don't do it anymore so it's Jeff bridges and he turns around goes are at bd motherfucker and then he shoots the camera, and then roll credits. You made me look like a fool.

I love you. And I will never forgive you. My birthday falls on a Wednesday, an episode day, once every seven years. That's true. Error is something like that. Something like that. You made a fool out of me.

You made a fool of me. I'm not bad, I'm just drawing. I'm angry when I'm angry. My voice drops to this. I'm so sorry. I want to make this up to you. I want to make this up to you. I am so you, man.

I want to make this up to you. So I want to give you the opportunity. Do you have anything with you? With what you would like to steal? Would you like to pass your play? Do you have anything? I would like to play. You like a drum.

I'm going to hit you a bunch with sticks because you suck. You are not my friend. You are cool. You are clown. You are a lying clown. You fool. Happy birthday to me. I'm grabbing all my presents. I'm leaving. She took our thumbs. I have nothing to plug. Ow! I want to plug our Patreon. You should go to patreon.com slash Hey Rital Rital. Guys, I can't stress enough. The content there is just so wild and weird and funny and stupid and I think you should all partake in that. So please, for the holiday seasons especially, get yourself for someone you love, the gift of Hey Rital Rital. it's a gift that keeps on laughing. And I also want to give a huge

plug to Aaron Keefe, one of my favorite humans in the world. Aaron, happy birthday. I love you. I hope you have the best time. Thank you. And I also want to give another plug to my friend JPC. So, my favorite people in the world, I love him. And look at this. Thank you for hosting. You got my ass. You got my dumb ass with this last bit. But I fucking love that that that were real happened because that was so fucking funny and fantastic. I gotta give a quick plug too, because if you go to the Patreon right now,

I think I think we just finished releasing this. It is the the Western app that Adel wrote. So if you have liked Aaron's like thematic episodes, like the Riddle City or the Hey Riddle High, it's in the same vein, it is a Western, Yass Adel Saddle, it is all unlocked on the Patreon now. It is fantastic. I don't think it's an amazing job. Not only did Al do an amazing job, Kacy did an amazing job editing it, Arnie Parrott did

a great job with the new theme, very, very fun. So you got to go check that out. It's patreon.com slash hey Riddle Riddle. I actually do have theme, very, very fun. So you got to go check that out. It's patreon.com.shaderittle. I actually do have something to plug, that I forgot. Okay. Go follow me on Instagram, Aaron, Keif10 of Wet Bus is doing monthly shows now in LA.

There is also a Wet Bus in Chicago that you can go and see, but I will not be there. It's, we call it West Bus, because it's the three people who are in LA. It's me, Will Lead, Minceau, and Sean Coil. And we have a monthly show and there's some solo characters and improv. And it's really, really fun. We did one in October and it was an absolute blast.

And so many of you came and it was so nice. But if you want to know the date and to get tickets for that, follow me on Instagram. And I will post about it there. It's the 17th and November. So it's a week today. You guys are also doing one Broadway in New York and you're calling it Weast Buss. Yeah, Weast Buss. It doesn't work that well. We know, we know. And we know. Aaron, speaking of things that are getting closer, your next wet bus show, West Bus Show,

there's also a planet that is getting much closer to us as we speak. Do you know what planet that would be? The Sun? No. Jupiter. It's not planet. Sun's not a planet. It's a star. I know it's a star. Can you be allowed to fly birthday? That's a Jordan's Instagram.

It's a star. No! And John Patrick Collins. Casey Tony to the editing. Now he's a character that needs to be played. Hey there, states and plates. If you like that, you're going to love this week's Patreon. It's our Better No A State series featuring Mississippi. You can listen to that plus our entire Bat Catalog at patreon.com.

So I'll show you riddle riddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or the review crew for $8 a month. See you there! That was a headgun podcast.