Hey Riddle Riddle - #174: It's Doorpy!!!

Episode Date: November 17, 2021

We get a little slap happy this episode and go on a deep dive of trying to figure out what the best combination of animals would be (accidentally inventing Pokemon along the way). There's also eyeball powers, a kitty doorman and we finally love riddles so much we marry them! Keep that bus at 55 mph and get ready to flex that brain! It's Hey Riddle Riddle! #WiddleWednesday Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. I'm Lord, you're right I'm Lord, you're right I'm Lord, you're right I'm Lord, you're right I'm Lord, you're right I'm Lord, you're right I'm Lord, you're right I'm Lord, you're right I'm Lord, you're right I'm Lord, you're right

I'm Lord, you're right I'm Lord, you're right I'm Lord, you're right I'm Lord in this desert and I need water. Ha ha ha. You, do you have water? Wait, I'm literally stranded in this desert with you. Oh, what's your name? I'm JPC, I'm co-host of the show. Sorry, I must be thirst crazed. Do you have any water?

And honestly, now that I'm saying it, I would prefer if you have a root beer, like a good preside. Addle, I gave you a root beer maybe 20 minutes ago. What? We're waiting for our plane. If you wanna go get a water, I guess maybe like, just go to the Starbucks and see if they will give you

a couple, you're gonna have to buy. It's gonna be like $45. I'm sure that I can just give you a couple of water. I'll just keep looking water. Water, you. Compliments, compliments. I need some compliment. Do you have water?

I'll trade you compliments for water. How about you go first? Okay, your pants are pants. Do you guys wanna switch seats? Cause I don't need to sit in the middle. I'm trying to read, so I can move. I don't have the strength to switch seats. I need water. And I need compliments.

We are so thirsty for water and compliments. Oh wait, you're thirsty. I just thought you were old. Shut up. Well, I should also say I'm at horrified. It's been established. I'm JPC. And I'm very brave. And I just had to compliment myself. And we are a Hey Riddle riddle, a podcast about the search for quenching your thirst for riddles. A podcast in three acts. What?

Act one. We do a little opening bit. Okay. Act two. We kill time until commercials. Act three. Yeah. We just get to plugs.

Huh. Wow. I like it. I think that's the whole show. Yeah, that's our whole setup. I appreciate it. How's everybody doing? What's going on with everyone?

And if you don't have something, just make something up. JPC, I was gonna ask you, does it feel sometimes like you're a very tired dad on a road trip and me and Adela are the kids in the back seat? Well, you asked this question about you and Adela being the kids in the back seat. And yet, I realized that I have to look at the whole time that we record because as far as I know there's no way to collapse this chat.

A fake link that I dropped to you. Poorna.com slash Merry Christmas everyone. And now I just have to look at that the entire time. Yeah, we don't know how to read it. We record. I don't know how to, you can't get that out of there. So, are you two the kids? I don't know. Who would do something like out of there. So are you two the kids? I don't know who would do something like that with the dad

So I asked them to send me a link to a Christmas song and JPC's a smart ass and sent a porn hub.com slash wiki slash Mary Christmas Everyone link which just really sends you to porn hub We're doing great over here. It's just sending you to porn hub. That's all. Let's do it We're doing great over here. It's just sending you to Pornhub. That's all it's doing. Or send me to Pornhub. Speaking of Christmas porn, what is everyone doing to prep? Are we prepping for Christmas?

Or are we still bracing for Thanksgiving? Oh, I got 400 gallons of water in my basement. I got a shotgun. Wait, this four-time-wise action for water, you had 400 gallons in my basement. Adel, I'm so glad you asked. Guests who decorated for Christmas yesterday. You on November 11th.

I know this not when the episode comes out, but on November 11th, I decorated for Christmas. And it's 90 degrees here in LA. And my house looks like Christmas on the inside. Why? Because I wanted to feel something. Thank you for asking. I wanted to feel anything at all. It looks interesting.

It's interesting that you said you put up all those decorations on November 11th when November 10th was your 30th birthday. Yes. So are you compensating for age? Yeah, I guess I maybe this is some sort of slow motion nervous breakdown. Sure. Is that what your question was? Very Christmas. I see you wearing your hair in pigtails. You also have a door or the explorer sweatshirt on. So yes, to answer your question, I'm doing great. What was the question? I'm trying to stay young. It is funny how Aaron is fully decorated for Christmas

out in LA when Adela and I and Chicago have already had snow. Oh, yeah. I have not started. I have not started a Christmas decorating at all Are like do you both have fake trees? Do you get a real tree every year? What's your deal? I've always had fake trees last year was the first year I ever did a real tree because Gemma insisted and it was it was pretty fun So we're gonna get a real tree getting this here. Cool. I have always had fake trees in like a fake tunnel painted onto a side of a wall, and then I'll drive my car through it thinking, oh, this is a shortcut.

I'll have someone hold up a sign like shortcut this way, and then I'll drive my car right into it. It'll be a fucking wall, total my car. And I'm only going 25, 30 miles an hour, and I got airbags, but still, it's like, I'm a little dinged up. Now that you're a homeowner, you can't do that anymore though. I don't, I hope that whoever's been doing it has stopped doing it.

JBC, it's been bothering me for four years now. Who you remind me of, and you just nailed it. You're Wiley Coyote. Oh, right. I see that. You're energy, you're look, you're purposeful. Wait, wait, we've known each other way longer than four years. So what happened to the fourth, like, Energy your look your your Purpose I play wait wait we've known each other way longer than four years

So what happened what happened to the fourth like four years ago? You tell us who are you are you? I started liking you. Oh Yeah, we hung out before that but then I started I started to be like oh I like this person to be like, oh, I like this person. So no, I wanted to answer your question. We have not decorated for Christmas. We haven't even talked about if we will get a tree or what kind of tree we will get. None of that has been discussed because it's way too early for that, in my opinion. Well, yes, and you're right.

And honestly, I would like to be the kind of person who waits until after Thanksgiving to decorate for Christmas, but here's the thing, that is one of the only things I've collected in my life is Christmas decor. And if I travel so much around the holidays, I see my family and Thanksgiving, I'm gonna be traveling over Christmas. So I go, if I decorate right after Thanksgiving,

I really am only gonna get to enjoy it for like two weeks. Yeah. And my Christmas decorations are amazing. I'll send you guys a photo, you're gonna be like, too much. Why, what are you doing? And you're like, what's that was a selfie? Exactly.

I had an aunt, like a great aunt, maybe, who every Christmas thank you, when I was a kid, would give me a Christmas ornament, like as a gift for Christmas. And she would always be like, when you have like your own family, you'll have all these Christmas ornaments that you can like put on your tree.

You'll have like a tree full of Christmas ornaments. And me as a child was like, ah, this is going to the trash. Like, what, what are we gonna save this for 40 years? Like, what the fuck are you talking about? Like, this is going to the trash. And if I ever need a Christmas ornament, I'll buy it. I'll buy it when I need it. I gotta hold onto this ship for like three decades.

I literally the Grinch. Yeah, that's insane. I'm a nightmare. I don't need this family heirloom. I'll buy one. It's like, no, no, you don't understand. Oh my god. This hairpin was on the Titanic. I don't fucking care. I'll buy one. She wasn't gonna be a hair. She was giving me some like homemade knitted shit that I'm like, this looks fucking ugly. First of all, like, you're not a professional. You're mad at this.

That's my worst fear. If I'm someone's great on,'ve go I've lived this song I would love to pass on a little something to you and then that young boy is throwing it in the trash and saying if he wants an It makes a tiktok of him swallowing it Here's a hell of a diet I Don't give a shit about giving a gift I don't tell people just don't get me a gift because I don't want it. Like if I were... I tell you I don't like the piss mug I gave you last year.

I do, I do like the piss mug. I mean I have it. I did not throw the piss mug away, so I still have the piss mug. Did you guys hear that? Did you guys hear that? I didn't know. I forgot I invited someone over.

Do you guys mind if I let in JP Riddle? He's here to tell us all about his new celebration piss-mas. Oh yeah, no, please, absolutely. I let in JP riddles. He's here to tell us all about his new celebration pismis. Oh, yeah. No, please, absolutely. Okay. JP, come on inside. Oh, I'm gonna have to come inside. Oh, wait, hold on.

Stand in the park, stand in the park. Okay. JP riddles, will you tell him the microphone? Will you tell all our listeners about your new holiday pismis? Okay, well, there's where you're wrong, because pismis is not a new holiday piss miss is actually a Re-kind of retelling of a pagan holiday now the Romans the Christians, right? They wanted to get rid of all the holidays

But what could they not stop doing they couldn't stop people from drinking piss because people like it They like the taste. It's sterile. It's clean It's good for the body. It's better. It's better than getting that, oh, you know, Obama Biden shot You know what I'm saying? Antivax is the way to go kids Anyway, that's just a little something more about JP riddles personal politics. JP riddles, are you sure you're not thinking of Swiss Miss the hot chocolate? Oh, I won't eat hot chocolate. I like chocolate cold cold cold, cold. That's the only way to eat chocolate. Wait, not, what about thinking of rat carcass?

How's that gonna rat carcass? That's what I'm thinking of. Anyway, Pismis is a holiday when you share your piss with your loved ones and they share their piss with yours. And then we do what we call a white elephant piss exchange where you just piss, you just leave piss for other people and they don't know that they're playing, but when they get it they can either trade

Steel or piss on somebody else. Oh, can they drink it? I Guess so different country. Well for now Well, just wait till this communist as Joe Biden gets done with it JP burles. I guess it's not a total like surprise to hear about and learn about your politics But I gotta say it's still disappointing. Sure, yeah, I understand that, I understand that completely. Well, I'm a big Jim Brewer fan. Oh no. Goat boy.

What else? What? Goat boy is comedy. Goat boy. What about top 10 SNL characters? Oh no. You think a guy who sounds like me doesn't enjoy goat boy? Oh no, JP. You got a...

You got a. We might not be able to invite you back anymore. I don't think I don't think Dave Sheppell is particularly funny, but I love what he's got. Oh, buddy, we got to we got to have you head out. We'll see you later. All right. Nirit Pismis. Well, Aaron, did you see that? He picked up a horse, put it on his back, and then ran off.

I think I think the pandemic has done a lot of damage to a lot of, otherwise maybe good people's brains. And I think maybe Jamie Reynolds is just like an unfortunate casualty of maybe some like, you know, some online radicalization. Well, regardless, I can't wait to sit down at a table with him over Thanksgiving and have nice conversations. He's family.

At the end of the day, he's family. He's family. He's family. When you hear your family, well, we need to get to some riddles. What? Yeah. I know. I forgot myself. Are we ready to do a warm-up riddle? Yes. I'm ready. Yeah. I'm always ready for this kind of stuff. You are driving a school bus. The bus is empty when you begin the route. At the first stop, four people get on. At the second stop, eight people get on and two get off. At the third stop, J.P. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on get off and four get on. Okay. What color are the bus driver's eyes?

Now this is hard because I don't know what color my eyes are. I thought I did. I thought I did. I told Maria. Maria got brown eyes and she goes, I don't think so. But I'm like, wow, who's known me longer? Who's known me longer? Who's known me longer you you're me? To be a lie in the wall of the hills you die on in your house. I mean I love to watch it. I don't change color Yes, they do over time. Yeah, especially if you look at too many screens But that's not based in science. That's just a theory I have

Okay, I want to see a scene Okay, I want to see a scene. Wait, we talked about theories we had. Hey, let's get the hose and we hose them down. Get off our porch, JP Reynolds. Be in a water, just make me stronger. Get them hose. I want to see a scene, JPC URA optometrist. Aaron, you are a new client to this eye doctor

and you have your own theories on what eyes can and can do. So is there any particular reason why you are coming in today? Just kind of like an annual checkup? Yes, I think I can see the future with my eyes and I thought you might want to study me for signs. Okay, well everyone can see the future with their eyes because it's happening. It's just we're perceiving the natural world

and that becomes our present. Alright, well riddle me this. I think I'm the only one who can see in 3D. That's pretty cool, I can see in 3D. Okay. Like 3D movies. That is how life looks to me. Study my brain. Life looks like.

In my eyes. Life looks like 3D movies to you. What? We all do see in 3D. Like you can see 3D dimensions because that's what life is. That's weird. Let me blow your mind then. I'm going to tell you a little something about the color red.

I'm the only one who can see it. Okay, so you also... You might be colorblind. I mean, I might be colorblind. You could be colorblind. If you think that you're the only one who can see red, you might be red-bring colorblind. Okay, well, have you heard about yellow? Probably not.

No, I've heard about yellow, yeah. Watch this. I can make the room go dark. What's that? Okay. Now, it's light again. Now I can see everything. So that light switch, that light switch

is turning the lights on and off in the hallway. Oh, okay. Please don't do that. But then watch this. If I close them, I can make, no do that. But then watch this. A bike closing? We have people walking in the hallway, okay. I can make no no one can see. Okay. Close my eyes now.

You can't see, motherfucker. Study my eyes. How to explain this to you? How to explain this to you? Um, look, I'm an eye doctor and I'm going to go, I'm going to go kind of a breast of my field of expertise. You're one of the most attractive people that I've ever seen in my entire life. So you guess, I can't, yeah. My guess is that most people of your

life, they will just agree with whatever that you have to say. And that's... Yeah, exactly. Whoever told you saying that was cool was probably just... Exactly. Was probably just being nice. But I am an asexual, so your powers have no effect on me. And I just wanted to let you know that this, what you are, what you, what you choose to be, is wrong, and most likely what has happened is you are colorblind. Are you sure? Because if I close this side, you move a little to this side, and then if I open that eye and then close the other one, I can shift where you are. I can make you move. I am a God. I have very special eyes. And is there something wrong? I mean, there's little hairs coming out

on the top lid, and then there's little hairs coming out the bottom lid. That's fucking crazy. Everybody has that. Well, I don't have that. I just got it tattooed because I was sick of, I was sick of tremic. Your eyelashes? Mm-hmm. See. I don't think that guy was a real doctor. I don't think that was a real client. Tattooed, tattooed eyelashes.

Aaron, I enjoy, have you heard of Yellow? Which is one of the Pismas songs that JP Riddle sings on his Pismas album. It's mostly Jingle bells. There's not a lot of lyrics. It's mostly. Hello. It's just 10 minutes of Jingle bells.

Jingling. Jingling. Jingling. JP, see, you basically got the answer right. The color of the bus driver's eyes are the color of your eyes. And I'm going to, so I will say brown. OK. Aaron, do you know your eye color?

Stormy, sad gray. Oh. And I, you don so I will say brown. Okay, Aaron, do you know your eye color? Stormy, sad gray. Oh. And I, you don't really have gray eyes. My eyes are hazel. I'm gonna quickly move away from my microphone and then put my eyes right up against my camera and they can be the judge. Okay.

Okay, we mostly see upper nose. I gotta say it's mostly white. That's mostly white and then black in the middle. Oh yeah,, I guess I can see like a little gray gray gray blue in there Maybe yeah I am once again I'm torn into pieces. I think I got lost in the desert that it was your eyes. Yeah, I don't know where your eyes He's a hazel hazel. Mm-hmm look. I don't know what color my eyes are, He's a hazel. Hazel? Mm-hmm. Look, I don't know what color my eye is.

Sorry, but I once had a pharmacist tell me I have the saddest eyes he's ever seen. Is that when you're picking up your depression medication? It's nice to be the best at something, huh? Here's your pro-zac. You have the saddest eyes I've ever seen. Oh, no. I'm just buying gum. They said that they said I could come back here because they're so busy up front. I

Know I've mentioned this on the show before but I would go to the school nurse just to like pick up band-aids for my class Or to grab something for her and she go. Oh my god. Lay down. Oh my god. You look so ill Sick your child your paler your pal is so, it's like a Victorian child. You called me a Victorian doll this week and I said thank you. I know, I can't stop myself. It's a compliment to me, thank you very much. I can't stop myself from reading another riddle. Rachel and Monica have moved into a shared house

with several other occupants. Wait a second, wait a second. Hold on. Monica, they got a house in New York City. Uh huh. In the Hamptons. Wow. And that salary. Monica doesn't like their new accommodation though because of the angry and aggressive cat that greeted them when they first walked in. Smell the cat. Rachel realizes that there isn't really a problem. Why? Rachel and Monica have moved into a shared house, house with several other occupants. Monica

doesn't like their new accommodation though because of the angry and aggressive cat that greeted them when they first walked in. Rachel realizes there isn't really a problem. Why? So let me ask you a question. Yes. Is this cat when they first walked in? Does that mean before they walked into their house or on the outside of their house? Is this like a dormant, like a cat butler? I'd like to see a scene. I'm sorry, I don't want to, but I have to. At all, you are a cat, like, a dormant or a butler that works in a very fancy, rich person building, and everyone just loves you. You're great at your job, and JPC, you're a tenant

coming into the building, and you just loves you. You're great at your job and JPC your attendant coming into the building and you have some requests. Oh, Miyamiao today. Miss you are very good to see you today. What's going on? Oh, just saying, Miyamiao to you. Let me grab the door for you. Oh, sorry, I have to lick my own ass all real quick. And one and a two and a three.

Licks to the middle. Here we go and get the door for you, sir I'm sorry are you That I don't I don't believe I'm saying this are you a little cat door man Are you a door man at this building and you're also a little cat? Oh, forgive me. You must have forgotten when you first moved in there was a car I'm brand new to the bill. Oh, there should be a card in your welcome package explaining my situation My name is Dorpi. I'm the Doorman cat this door building in MMO

Okay, oh reading here. Oh Curst by a witch. Yes, sorry one second. I have to give a big Strix until you do 101 good deeds interesting uh, okay, and I'm just supposed to until you do 101 good deeds, interesting. Okay, and I'm just supposed to share a problem with you and maybe you help me fix it and then you can move on. Is that okay? Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, what do I have? What do I have? Well, the moving truck's outside and we have a lot of boxes. You're a cat. You're just gonna jump in on the... And you're gonna claw my hand when I try to get to near them to... Boy, do you have my number? Okay, so maybe not, maybe not that. It's so sweet, Dwarfie, I'm so sorry to bother you and I know you're about to go and walk into the sun, sit in and roll about for a bit. But there is a light that's on my wall in my apartment

and I was wondering if you had time today to perhaps Try to catch it for me. Oh, yeah, I'm I'm I'm Miss Gladhaven I would be happy to come up there and make that sort of like Kaka-kaka-kaka noise while looking at the light. Thank you door B. Yes, of course That's such a good one. Thank you so much, man. That's such a good one. Okay. What can I do? A hundred more deeds to go door Borpi. That's you, wait. Oh, so this card is updated like live, so that was 101 this morning and now it's down to 100. Yeah, well, uh, it's... You haven't done any good deeds yet?

I have, but I keep doing bad deeds in that kind of canceling the cancels them out. Oh. See, for example, let me just, ah, claw your wrist. Ow! Come on! I wasn't even trying to pet you I'm out sir a word to the wise Dorky goes crazy at about 7 30 every day has his witching hour He bounces off the walls runs and runs and dooms and zooms. So be weary of that and keep the door close Okay, I was gonna keep the door to my home closed anyway. Oh here he goes

I was gonna keep the door to my home closed anyway. Oh, here he goes. Ah! Oh, god damn it! My lips! Same scene. Okay, I have a new favorite character. It's Dorkie, the cat door man. It's Dorkie, the tiny little cat with a door hot.

Tiny little cat, it's Dorkie. He guards the door. I'm Darpy! I'm Ann Print. I never want to leave this. Don't make us move on. What do we think about this riddle? Couldn't tell you what the riddle was. Okay. I'm honestly trying to think about what the rid was. And I truly have no idea. Let me see like a cat door man something. Why are you too late to have a cat? Oh yeah, that's right.

You two rest your wary heads and let me rest your head. It's Rachel and Monica. Oh right. There's a house. Rachel and Monica have moved into a shared house with several other occupants. Monica doesn't like their new accommodation though because of the angry and aggressive cat

that greeted them when they first walked in. But Rachel realizes that there isn't really a problem. Why'd that be? Is it because the person with the cat is moving out? Oh, can you sing it in the form of a Billie Joel song? Uptown cat. No. Sorry. Oh, did I get it wrong? Should I have done moving out? Well, okay. This brings the, I mean, that's a really great segue to my guess. Okay. My guess is that Monica is cat blind. What is that song? And guess. Yeah, you had to be a big cat.

Oh, Bailey Joel. I don't know. Is the, what would you do? You answer my question. Is this cat inside or outside of the house? Or does it matter? Hey, hey, bud. I don't have to answer your question.

You're not the answer out. Shit. You're right. You're not the boss of me. Malcolm. Malcolm in the middle. You answer me. Malcolm, I answered you that. You answered me. So, we'll say that the angry and aggressive cat was when they walked into the house.

So, it wasn't like on the porch, it was like in the entryway. Okay. Wasn't on the porch, it was in the entryway. Yeah. And they saw the cat when they walked in the entrance. So, it's a real cat. Uh, well. It's taxidermage. No.

Oh, it's Uberdermied. You wait, you said, she said it's a real cat and you said well, there is a real cat involved. Interesting. So this isn't just like a painting of a cat where she's like, it's not a problem, we just turn the painting around and boom. That's still would be kind of creepy. If there's a painting that scared me, I would not feel better if it was just turned around.

I guess you're not invited to my house then. Can I, can I tell you a prank that Mariah and I have been playing that we quite enjoy? We try to play the other day, but we couldn't do it because she ran out of computer ink. But we have a printer, or Maria has a printer, and we have photo paper, and we have an empty, like, five by seven photo frame in our house, that when we have people over, we know like people are coming over.

We had like a dinner party. We take one person that we know is coming over, go to their Instagram, grab a photo of them from their Instagram, print it, frame it, and then hide it with the rest of the pictures. Every time that we've done it, we're getting better, we're getting sneakier, the photos are getting farther away. The first time I did it, I grabbed, you guys know Mike Brunley, right?

I just grabbed one of his headshots from everybody that walks in, it was like, whoa, what's that picture Mike do in there? I was like, whoa, what's that picture of Mike doing there? And I was like, okay, I gotta learn my lesson a little better. Oh, that's such a funny person to pick too. That's fantastic. When people see it, when people see it, they're like, they're like, huh, oh, oh, that's me. It's a very fun time, it's always a very fun time.

Did anyone like see it and get kind of spooked for a second? Like really believed that that was hanging in their house? No, everybody kind of got the joke like a media. I hoped that people wouldn't see it and get kind of spooked for a second, like really believed that that was hanging in their house. No, everybody kind of got the joke like a meaty. I hoped that people wouldn't see it. People would be over for like an hour and then they'd see it, but so far everyone, it's like the first thing that they see and they're like, this is very funny. And I'm like, do it.

What was the most successful version of it? I would say that the more successful versions are the ones where we take like either a picture of the person like in a group or like farther back. But so like I said we've only done it like three times in the and what twice because the third time we try to do it we ran out of fucking ink. But so far it's everyone has noticed it pretty immediately which is kind of a bummer. I think I should print out a picture of them if they post on their Instagram like a picture of them when they were a kid. Print that out and then be like this is me when I was a kid and then. If they post on their Instagram, like a picture of them when they were a kid, print that out and then be like,

this is me when I was a kid and then see if they fight you on it. Well, Mariah and I do have a side-by-side picture frame with our baby photos in it, like us as babies. So it would fit in really well to just throw another baby photo there. If you really gotta go search for people who post their baby photo.

I think it would be so funny to be like, to go over to someone's house and be like, I think that's me as a baby. And they're like, no, that's me. And it's like, I want to, I want to stand my ground here, but I feel like. Can I tell you that this is Maria's other idea? Yes. By the way, genius at these kind of pranks. The other thing that Maria wants to do is she's also a designer.

So she's a little, she's pretty good at like photo editing. She wants to do is she's also a designer, so she's pretty good at photo editing. She wants to take photos of us. Like we, we, the idea we have these baby photos of us, but they're separate frames, so obviously they're separate photos, but she wants to do baby photos of us hanging out together. So like, it's just Photoshopped of like us through the ages, and then do photos of us as like babies, kids, adults,

and then like photos of us as old people, like just like age our faces. Oh my God, that's so funny. You knew each other your whole lives. There's a dance in middle school. Just you are whole lives in for this. I love that so much. I think it's such a funny idea,

but we have not executed on that idea yet, but I think it's very fun. JPC, I think what would scare me most, if I went into someone's home, would be not a photo of me, but a photo of one of my family members. Oh, like if you saw a photo of Mitch? Yeah, if I saw a photo of Mitch in your house,

they'd be like, what? Or like if you click on my like Instagram and you get a photo of one of my college friends, like I think you could spook the person more if they go, wait, do you know my aunt Jane? Here's what you do. Here's what you do is you get a photo of an older person from your family, right?

So you take your friends, dads, like brother or something, like that, have a photo frame of him, your friends sees that photo and they're like, what the fuck, that's my uncle Rick and be like, that guy saved my dad's life. And 98. 98, that's your uncle. And he literally pulled my dad out of a freezing river.

He's been looking for him for 20 years to give him a cash prize of $50,000. Yeah, this is okay. I think the three of us make a very dangerous team. I like this. I think I would like to frame a portrait of like Harold Ramos or something. And then when people come over be like, oh, that's my grandpa. And they're like, that looks just like Harold Ramos. something. And then when people come over be like,

oh, that's my grandpa on. They're like, that looks just like Harold Ramos. And I'm like, I don't see it. I don't ask that. And if they pull up my grandpa. If they pull up a picture, be like, I don't see it. And if they pull up the exact picture, be like, something's wrong here.

It's like him in a movie. And you're like, I don't see it. It's a still from the movies. And I don't see it. It's him and full ghostbusters with Galeon. It's like, I don't see it. It's him and full ghostbuster Recarian is like I don't see it. I'm like, Adel, so you think your grandpa was a ghost monster. It just happens to look like Harold Reyes. Okay. Okay. Coincidences. I don't know what to tell you. I'm just proud of my family. So speaking of family,

Rachel and Monica have moved into a shared house with this again. Yes. You're obsessed with this at all. Dude, Adel, what fucking love this riddle? You're right. What is my problem? Let's move on. I hear riddle bells for Adel and this fucking riddle. Oh, and we've only gone to riddle court before. We've never married a riddle. Let's go. Yeah, if you love it, why don't you solve it? We are gathered here today to see the union between Adlerify in the riddle about a cat

Do you have vows to exchange Adler you can go first. Hey, man. You're saying that out loud What I know you're nervous, but you're saying that out loud Yes, I have vows What walks on four legs in the morning? Two legs in the afternoon and eight legs at night. He's reading another riddle as vows, so offensive. Oh No, he's not reading another riddle. That's another riddle that burst in here. I think it's one of those What like a runaway bride situation? No, no, that's the opposite. What's the situation where someone like bursts in and they're like the graduate? I'm... I'm... No, no.

Yeah, you're objecting to the wedding here. Yeah, I think the graduate. In that movie, I thought that movie just like fucks somebody's mom or something. Yeah, that too. But he also objects against the wedding. Oh, okay, great. Can we watch the graduate right now? Is that cool? Everybody put your stick and stick.

It's the same. It's one of the most successful wedding I've ever been to. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. What is it at all? It's one of the most successful lighting that I've ever been to. I feel like any wedding written by Mike Nichols is a smash. Can I give you a hint? Yes, please. I'd love a hint. So there is a real cat in this riddle, but then there's also, I won't say a fake cat,

but there's a visage of a cat. Oh, it's a cat seeing himself in the mirror Ding do dingo Tatita Aaron you got it. There's a mirror near the entrance Monica's a cat saw her reflection and thought it was another cat Challenging her territory Rachel can cover up the mirror until Monica becomes settled But Monica will figure out figure it out eventually even if Rachel does nothing. Monica was a cat. Monica being a cat, that's like a fucking Bruce Willis 6th Sense-esque twist because I never imagined Monica as a cat.

I completely agree. Did you ever... Did you ever... Did you ever... Did you ever... Did you ever... Did you ever... Did you ever...

Did you ever... Did you ever... Did you ever... Did you ever... Did you ever... Did you ever... Did you ever... I thought Bruce was like someone's dad. Isn't Bruce, he was Ross's girlfriend's dad, but he also dated either. I think he dated Rachel. I think he dated Rachel, yeah. That's right, okay, cool. So I've told you guys this before,

but Lou had never seen her reflection before. She'd never lived in a place with any mirror close to the ground, and we never thought to like lift her up and show her a reflection. Aaron, you did it. I'm gonna give her a hand mirror so she could explore. Yeah, we gave her a little hand mirror to fix her makeup, just do like powder her up and show her a reflection. Aaron, you did it for a hand mirror so she could explore. Yeah, we gave her a little hand mirror to fix her makeup.

Just do like powder her face, said parties. But we saw her see her reflection for the first time. And she started moving at herself. What? And now we think she's a cow. I'm not even kidding. She wasn't barking. She wasn't growling.

She was going, moo, moo, because again, she kind of looks like a cow. She's kind of built like a cow. So I think she thought she was going, mooo, mooo, mooo, because again, she kinda looks like a cow. She's kinda built like a cow. So, I think she thought she was a cow, but me and Sean and sister were dying laughing. We're like, why is she moving? She's very lost. Okay, we're gonna take a break and deal with you somehow.

Trying to convince Aaron that her dog's not a cow. I don't know when we'll be back. I don't know if this will get resolved, but we'll try and come back. So go ahead, take a look at your podcast app right now. This might be the end of the episode. It might say like only like one minute remaining and that might just be ads because we don't know if we can come back from this. Yeah, I don't, I don't know if the podcast can recover from this.

So we'll see you if we see you. Hey, GPC. Yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm pranking at all. And I'm setting up a website to play. I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not mad at you.

We're pranking Adal. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to sit online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website engaged with your audience. And so, let me think for products to cut into time all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Addle, come here. Come here. Come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up

on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you

saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna do it. And I'm gonna use analytics.

Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my Prank website to Prank's activity. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for?

I can't remember what the website was for. Prank. Where's the space? You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine.

Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com, slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey Aaron Erin. Hey, Erin. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adeland JPC. Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an impasse I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path

You know, they're never truly is a middle of the woods isn't it funny to think about something like that like how they're never truly is a Middle no, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Adel, can you help? Yeah, actually. So, uh, as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. Uh, I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices. And the path forward isn't always clear, whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships being stuck in the middle of the woods. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you ow, ow, ow, sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods.

Hmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them.

Dirty bread crumbs. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with better help. Visit BetterHelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, h-e-l-p dot com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle

because it would be the space in between the two Ds. Helping at home. Bye. Hope you get home. Bye, baby. I am home. Who are we? What is this? I clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen.

I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's J.P.C.'s birthday, and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. Oh. And that is the app Rocket Bunny. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Huh? Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app

that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor and it helps me so much bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling,

sorry, I also wanna give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly, and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't wanna pay for anymore, just hit cancel, and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy, Kling, Kling, Kling. It also categorizes your expenses, so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off over three million.

Oh, Clint, Clint, Clint. Over three million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rock, rock, and stuff. Stop, Clint, Clint, Clint, Clint. Stop, no, Clint, click, click, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwanted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rockatmoney.com slash riddle.

That's rockatmoney.com slash riddle. Rockatmoney.com slash riddle, and tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website I love you, I love you money. I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, Hey, Rick, I'm Rick.

Oh, man. And we're back and we just did a 23 and me of my dog, Lou, it turns out she's 80% cow. So we can continue on. And then I just want to apologize again. I'm so sorry for doubting you. Yeah. 80% cow doing the genealogy. How, when, what year do we think a dog fuck to cow? 80% cow to get to.

What's that split here? Every year. Every year. Every year. I guarantee you on this on God's green earth. Every year there's a cow that fucks a dog. Every year. I don't need this image. this on God's green earth every year there's a cow that fucks a dog. Oh yeah. Wow.

This is not a call for a fan art. So what's not do that is such a cursed thing. We just have a new character. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, what stops a dog from impregnating a cow? God. I want to say. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, so much more fun if like anything went where it was just like, oh this raccoon the fucked up flamingo like we we better have a result like there has to be a product of this for occasion. Okay. I think that would be fun. Two things.

Adel really, this is such an indication that it's the end of 2021 and you nothing matters anymore. That thought in your head. You have really come to the end of the line here. Another thing is I want people to tweet at us at what dream combination of animals you would want to see. So what addol is describing with like a fun universe where like what happens whenever a cune fox a flamingo? What you're talking about is Pokemon because in Pokemon they have a Pokemon that's called like Rokomingo and it's just a raccoon cross with the Flamingo

and you're just inventing Pokemon at this point. Huh. So I guess I like Pokemon. Yeah, I'm saying that the world that you also want to live in, you can just go up to challenge people in tall grass and they will throw Pokemon that you and you will get to fight for their Pokemon. So what is a squirtle a mix of?

Is it like a turtle in a water bottle? It's a squirt gun. A squirt gun and a... So now we're getting into inanimate objects. Yeah. And it, okay, so let's be scientists about this. Let's not treat this like it's dumb. A charizard, let's work backwards

and deconstruct with a charizard. Lizard in a charm bracelet. Easy. Easy. Easy. I need to work backwards too, Hut. Yes, perfect. Yeah. with a charizard and a char and bracelet easy easy I need to work backwards to yes perfect yeah now up now a a pick a two would be a peeping Tom and a snake he's an easy he was a plug in hard

okay okay I don't know if I know I don't know if I know any more. I don't know if I know any more. I don't know if I know any more. I don't, I can't have this game stop. I need it. I was gonna say a Pikachu was maybe a chinchillo and a piece of shit. What are the other, I feel like Casey would know Pokemon. Casey, if you know, toss him in the chat.

There's Bulbasaur. Bulbasaur would be a light bulb and a dinosaur. Yep. There you go. That's exactly correct. There's there's Bulbasaur Bulbasaur would be a light bulb and a dinosaur. Yep That's exactly correct There's what what else do we got we have a vape porian? That's a vape pen and Well, it's just two vape pins. It's a vape pen and an imporium Snorlax that would be a snoring man and a woman saying just relax Relaxative we did charmander. Yeah, we did charmander. You did bulb of star. I did

Yeah, we did like you do jiggly puff. No jiggly puff would be puff pastry plus The jiggle bit of self jz slow poke. Yeah that's you glee puffs phrases. Oh, oh, What was the last one slowpoke? Mm-hmm. Okay, that would be a turtle and poke Turtle a turtle covered in raw fish. I want to say turtle covered in raw fish. Yeah, absolutely Which is just a Salmanella nightmare. These are you see I'm saying this is easy This is the world that you want to live in, Adam. I think it's a beautiful world that I'm here to support you in that journey. That's so fun.

I wouldn't know. Jason Mews, it's him jerking off. That's so fun. Silent Bob is also there and he's like, stop man, we have to go. Come on dude, it's time to go. I didn't think we had it in us to invent the best game of all time.

I didn't see that for us. This is such a beautiful moment. Okay. And it came up with a theme song just now. Okay. They're Pokemon. What two things are you made of? Hey, they're Pokemon.

What two things are you made from? Eric, can I tell you for a second? There I was like, does Eddle know the Pokemon theme song? Is he gonna sing it right now with new words? I was like, surely he doesn't know that theme song. Oh sweetie. No I'm like when Pokemon came out. I was I think I was 15 16. I think I was too old for it. It's like Pokemon Two things must fuck they make another thing Pokemon Although I wasn't to is it Digimon where you like feed them and make them fight was that Digimon?

I had a JPC I had one of those in high school. All right, so that would be Digimon digital monsters Digimon are that champion Yeah, literally that's the whole thing. What was the theme song to VR troopers? Support Avi our trooper what's the theme song to succession? What's the theme song to succession? No, that's a big awesome. What is that one? That's a bad man. That's right. Yeah. Okay. It's a bum. Please check out Demi Adujribe's parody of the succession song. It's very funny.

Let's do another riddle here. Please. A woman with her barking dog enters a room and presses a button. A lot of people with pets walking into rooms. A woman with her barking dog enters a room and presses a button. Within seconds, she instantly loses 20 pounds. And the dog stops barking. How did she lose the weight? She's pressing a button. She's walking in a room and pressing a button. She loses 20

pounds. And the dog stops barking. Well, when people say, my dogs are barking. That means that their shoes have been on all day and they're taking off their shoes to relax at home. JBC, so... He nailed it. This woman has ten pounds shoes. Mm-hmm. Because she's a scuba diver. JBC, any kind of... And the air tanks are in her feet.

Okay, air in place. Uh, Adel, what's the answer? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- Oh, yeah, we'll call oh close one close one. I almost had him clever girl ever girl. Well, I'll answer after oh No, I'm I'm my arms broken is the doctor says the only thing that can help it is the answer to this riddle Oh, you need a new doctor. Oh shit You need a nude doctor. Yeah I guess I mean if it's gonna make you more comfortable being nude I Every time I go in for a physical, I'm like, you know what's gonna really help me out here?

Cause this is kind of an awkward thing. Could you get naked as well? You first. Yeah, I go, and if you could go first. I go to a new doctor and she's always like, here's what the human body should look like. And I'm like, my ankles are way weirder than that. Yeah.

Oh my God, if I knew I was dying tomorrow and I would go to the doctor and they say, okay, I'll just take off your clothes and put the gown on and I'll be back in a minute. I would go, you first. No. And then have my eyes bugged out of my head and then see if they laughed.

And if they didn't laugh, I'd go, this world was cruel. I'd like to go, I'd like to go to a doctor and get another allergy test. I had an allergy test when I was maybe when I was like 22, 21. And I took my shirt off, I lit it on a table, and they stuck my back with a lot of different little pinpricks of things to see what I was allergic with,

but they like sectioned it off into sections, and then they like, you know, did needles on my back. I would love to go back to that exact same experience except when they leave the room, I would love to prepare like a plate of like sushi on my back just like sashimi, sushi, like lots of like raw fish. So they would like to come back in the room.

I'd be like, I misunderstood what we were doing here. See what I like to do is I go to the doctor and you always have to wait in the room for a little bit, like you're usually sitting on the edge of the thing and then the doctor comes in. And the doctor usually says something like, sorry for the wait. And what I like to do is at home, I've already printed out a menu and on the front it says Dr. Yums and it has a full itemized menu.

And then when a doctor says, sorry for the wait, I say no worries. So let me start with the bruschetta and then house the calamari. And that immediately puts them on the defense. And then they're like, wait, what else is on this menu? And I'm gonna be banned from every medical place. I don't think any of us are okay. No, no, okay here. Here's the move. Here's the move. I'm so sorry. Don't move things we said before this for all jokes. When you have to go to a reduction take off all your clothes. If you go to the doctor's office, they'll say, please undress. Here's this gown. put the gown on. We'll be right back

in when they come back in. You should be undressed, but that gown should be balled up and held over your genitalia. And you should look terrified. And you should just be holding the gown all bald up over your genitalia. And when they come back and be like, oh, what's going on? Just put the gown on. I'm like, I've never worn a gown before. I know this goes without saying, but don't do any of it. Oh, just a pull. Were you asking me to day us?

Oh no, oh no. My first kiss is with a doctor. Oh no, it's not good. You know what, I think we should do it for a review crew. No, what's that? Oh, okay. I don't know. Allergy tests.

Allergy tests. I think we should all go know. I don't know. Allergy tests. I think we should all go in and re-update our allergy tests, and that's an excuse to actually take care of ourselves and we'll review it and we'll review all the foods that we're allergic to together. I am interested in that only because I wonder how allergic I still am to cats because 10 years ago I was very allergic to cats, but 10 years before that I was not allergic to cats. So I haven't been around a cat in a while, and if I do I like wash my hands, you know, so I don't know, I would be interested to see.

Are there any other Android, Web, or musicals you're allergic to, or is it just cats? Oh, Aaron, if I could only name one more Phantom of the Opera. Yeah! Yeah! Nice! So, yeah, you're allergic to more than one. I'm allergic to more than one. I'm allergic to that, yeah, Christine!

There you go! Aaron riddle me this. Have they ever done? Because this is something we might want to put our investment in. So I don't know if people know this, but we'd never ended up buying the Nix, which was the shame. Yet! We're saving up!

Yeah, I'm so saving. To invest in staging a production of Phantom of the Opera, but it's entirely cast by cats. So it's the people dressed like they're ready for the musical cats, but it's Phantom of the Opera. No, I'm sorry, what Adela is saying is that we get real cats to cast the musical. So we have people audition,

it's human beings auditioning, but the cats are the ones that decide. They're just crawling across the audition table, scratching the biners. If they rub against your leg, then you know that you're in. You got the room. Can I make a suggestion of what might make people happy? Okay. I guess it's kind of a non-sequitur.

If you need to pick me up, I can't stress enough. Either watch someone do a review of or watch the full version of, oh god it's so bad. The Phantom of the Opera sequel Love Never Dies, it's the most unhinged hilarious thing. It seems like a parody of a parody of a parody of a parody of a musical. I have never laughed harder than I have at clips from that. So check that out if you're you need a little pick me up. Okay Aaron you must be slightly confused. Love Never Dies is the new James Bond movie. Oh, it might, okay, so I'm thinking of the one,

it's the guy with the suit in the cufflinks and he says, oh, it's James Bond. Yeah. Yeah, big hat. Big hat. I guess I had a question for you, Adolf. Yes. Are we currently in the middle of answering a riddle

or is there no riddle on the board? Because I don't even know where I am right now. Oh, there's a riddle on the board. Oh, okay, true. And I'll give you the answer if you can answering a riddle or is there no riddle on the board because I don't even know where I am right now. Oh, there's a riddle on the board. Oh, can you, and I'll give you the answer if you can remember the riddle. The dog, the dog 20 pounds fun. Give me the answer, James. Damn it. It's a 20 pounds fun.

This is a 20 pounds fun. Fuck, a woman with her barking dog enters a room and presses a button. Within seconds, she instantly loses 20 pounds and the dog stops barking. How did she lose the weight? Well, well, my friends. Well, wait, wait, wait. Can I ask you a question? Yes.

Was it 20 pounds like physical pounds or was it 20 pounds like money? It was not smart. Did she pay a man to kill her dog? Can you shut this guy up? It is, it is weight. Okay. And is it her off her person?

Like a bag. It's dog weight. Did. Okay. And is it her off her person? Like a bag. Like a bag. Did she lose dog weight? She didn't, I'm gonna say she didn't technically lose the weight. It is just currently in flux. Interesting. I would love to figure out a way to flux some of my weight around. So I can't wait to hear this.

So something on her person. So it's like a bag or something she was carrying. A hat. A big hat. A very heavy hat. I can't wait to hear this. So something on her person. So it's just like a bag or something she was carrying. A hat, a big hat, a very heavy hat. Not necessarily. I think it's someone has grabbing her arms and pulling up up off the ground a little bit. Oh, a baby. What was he doing?

You know how you can take your baby out when you're pregnant and take a little break from being pregnant. You would have a baby. And put it back in. You know when you're trying to move sideways through a tight hallway and you're like, I can't fit. So you take out your baby, go through the hallway and then put it back in.

So you've met a pregnant woman before? Yeah. I think what, I think what Adela is meant is a pregnant rat. I think it's, I think it's supposed to all their bones is down and then go under a door. I want to see a scene. Okay. That inspired you? Uh, JPC. A pregnant rat. What's he going to do with it? What's he going to do? I want to see a scene. Okay. That inspired you?

JPC. A pregnant rat. What's he going to do for you? Oh, I think I'm going to do. JPC, you are a dog. Aaron, you are the dog's owner. And the two of you are sitting in a room for three days, and you're both at sort of your wits end with each other,

and you're trying to kill each other. Okay, okay, okay. Truths. Let's just do it, okay, okay. Truths. Let's just do it, Truths. Here's the thing. Nobody has to die. You have such a dog voice for a human. It's really offensive to me

that you sound so much like a dog. Okay, I watch offensive about my voice. I don't think my voice is inherently if it was, sorry. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no my language. Sure, thank you. Winning. Cut, cut, cut. Oh no, you killed the man I love, Charlie Singh. Lex Knife. You next. B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b- little paparoni huh oh oh my gosh please oh I'm so good well I don't know I've been cute this whole time this is only for very good dogs okay I'm such a good

dog look I'm moving my butt left to right okay if you're such a good dog let's see what Emilio Estevez has to say okay are you gonna be nice to Emilio Estevez or you're gonna kill him duck slide. I'm not getting vexed. Vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, v, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, vax, v, v, v, v, v, v, v, v, v, is the dad. Yeah, Martin. He's my president. He's fictional. So what do we think is going on with this woman who loses 20 pounds? I would say it has more to do with the room than anything on her person. Is she in a pool? Is she like losing pounds because of like buoyancy or some shit? She's not in a pool, but that's 100% on the right track. Antigravity. Not in a pool, but that's 100% on the right track. Antegravity. Yeah.

Space, she's in space. Ooh. She's in, hell. She's in, how? She is in a situation where physics are in action. But it's not space, but that's very close. Physics are always in action.

That sounds like a poster that would be like hanging up in a third grade classroom. It's so, believe in yourself. That sounds like a poster that would be like hanging up in a third-grade classroom Believe in yourself. It's like John Cena giving a thumbs up and it's like what the fuck is this for and mr. Clampchee's class physics are always Why do you have like a mark where where your wedding ring was classes mr. Bigger home go home. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. But it's, but it's home room. Shut the fuck up, get out of here.

Ha ha ha. So what do we think? So not space, not water, but. It's an extra action. Is she in the air? J. An elevator? Yes, that's it. Oh.

The room is actually an elevator, which she gets inside to go down to her room. The elevator accelerates downward, making her wait temporarily lower. Is that true? No. Fucking no. Aaron, if we heard it in a riddle, it must be true. Yeah. We have smart people who listen to the show. They'll tell us what's going on.

If you're dying a riddle, you're dying a real life. I know that for a fact. That's really scary. Well, that's just science Should we do one more riddle? Yes, I would I would fucking cream my corn if we got to do one more real But before we do that I want to do a scene that I wanted to call earlier Well, then my corn's not getting cream. No, is it? Oh That that should be hanging up as a poster in a third grade classroom. Yeah, if you want to get fired. Mr. Anderson, can you stop bringing in hope made posters?

So this scene is going to be the two of you are brand new, spanking never before scene, debuting today, Pokemon, meaning your combination of two different animals, and you're just going to be kind of meeting each other because you're in the wings waiting to be introduced. Okay. Oh, sorry, I'm nervous. Are you nervous? Yeah, I'm super nervous.

I am super nervous. I'm so sorry. Yeah. This is so rude. It looks like I'm staring at you. Yeah, you're trying to figure out what combination of things. I'm trying to figure it out, yeah. I don't have them.

I'm a skunky skunk. I'm a skunk that's healthy in a very, very sick skunk combined. You're a skunkie skunk. Yeah, I'm a skunkie skunk. That means you're a skunk in a regular skunk. Because I'm looking at you, you know, like, yeah. Are you a skunk?

Right. You're not a skunk, because it's like, some things are. Yeah, some things wrong, yeah. Yeah, but it's just... Excuse me, pardon me, coming through. It's my turn to be introduced. Uh, I'm gonna go on stage, pardon me. My name's Mutplug, by the way.

I'll see you guys afterwards. No questions. That's not- No questions. No questions. I'm sure. You wanna know what I am? No, we're good, actually.

We're good. Beyond your way. Mutplug out. Oh, God. Um, sorry. I know this is... I'm not trying to be rude or anything. Like, it's probably clear to a lot of other people, I'm just a really fucked up skunk.

Uh-huh. Half of me is, so what are you? Okay, I'll give you half of it. Okay. It's half of it is ex-allet. Okay, so you're, are you a phrasier or ex-allet? No, no, oh, that would be yes. No, I get what you're are you a Frazier your ex-allem? No, no, oh, that would be yes. No, I get what you're going. I know, okay. I can just tell you, I mean, it's gonna be hard to guess. Plus, it doesn't really work the way that they named me.

Okay. I make Shalame. Are you Timothy Shalame with the salad? Yeah, so the way it happened. So you have Timothy Shalame. Shalame was the way it happened? So just Timothy Shalame? Shalame was eating a salad so my push is facing to it. Not a bad origin story. Excuse me, you two. It's my turn to be introduced. My name is Toeplerpone.

I have Toeplerpone. No question, no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no. We have no questions. No questions. No questions. No. Hobler poem. I don't. I don't. Well, I think that you are going to be a fan favorite. Everyone, Timothy Chalamu is very hot right now.

Yeah, it sounds, you know, it's a polarizing dish, so I don't know. I mean, Skunkie is going to, I think that people are really going to love you because it's like it's like a new take on something that everyone kind of is familiar with already. So there's like, you know, you don't really have to relearn anything for Skunkie's gunk.

Yeah, since I'm like a fucked up skunk, you would think it would mean that I, like, my spray smells good. It just smells worse than a regular skunk. Could I tell you something? People had to throw away their dogs when I sprayed them. What? Can I say something?

And this is the shallower, am I saying? I mean, it me talking. Sure. You keep saying you're a fucked-up skunk. Yeah. That's like really negative. Like, I think that you're beautiful. And this is the exiled part of me talking. I smell fucking horrible.

I think I've been out the sun too long. That's it, that's the exiled part of me wanted to say something. Wow, what's it take away from that? What's it learn? See. Perfection. Here's our final riddle. to say something. Wow, what's it take away from that? What's it learn? Perfection. Here's our final riddle.

The sound of Brian snoring is usually just annoying, but today it causes terror and panic. Why? Dude's a pile of a plane! That is basically it. He's a pile of a helicopter. He's a pile of Navy ship. He's probably a helicopter. He's probably a Navy ship. He's probably a spaceship.

He's a pile of a spaceship. He was born on a pirate ship. You basically got it. Brian is a bus driver. You do not want to hear that driver snoring. Okay, I got a CSE. So this is like speed, but it's the exact premise of speed. Aaron, you're going to be the Sandra Bullock.

Sure. Is it Sandra Bullock? That's what my drug dealer told me to the day. He handed me a bag and I said, what's this? And he goes, this is like speed. It's like speed. Oh, it's a problem. You're gonna be the Sandra Bullock role.

Addle, you're going to be the bus driver in speed. The only difference is you have to be the central bullock role. At all, you're going to be the bus driver in speed, the only difference is you have to be in at least 50 minutes of REM sleep or else the bus explodes. Great. Oh, sorry, is there a problem? You should take your seat, ma'am. Yeah, sorry, no, I know you're trying to sleep.

It's just a, I had a really funny story I wanted to tell you, but no, I'll let you sleep, ma'am. Yeah, sorry, just, let me, let me get some REM sleep for just 10 seconds and I'll be right with you. Here we go. That's me in the car. That's me in the spot. Sorry, I nervous cough, but I'm supposed to be quiet. Sorry, I'll be quiet.

I'll be quiet. I'm going to get some REM sleep here. And are you riffing? Oh my god, did you hear that? Sorry, sorry. That was just me, it was just my own breathing, I thought I heard. Do you want this bus to crash? No, I really don't, I just sometimes I get like, are you mad at me?

Yes. You're not mad at me, right? Yes, I am. I'm trying to sleep, I feel like we're not trying to get my REMs. I know, all right. Sorry Hey, what I'm feeling really awake and I get really anxious when I'm feeling really awake and the person I'm with is sleeping So I recognize you from something. I feel like I know your face. Oh me. I'm Sandra Bullock from movies. Oh, yeah, oh wow What are you doing you write the bus like a regular person. I'm half sand, half, um, what?

Wait, I'm sorry, you used your sand or a bullock for movies? Yeah. Oh, you were in, um, you were in that movie where you were all about Steve. You were all about Steve. I saw that movie. Oh, okay. Yeah, I was wondering if I could get my money back. Little mean.

I was also in miscommunity. Oh, shit. I could get my money back. Little mean. I was also in miscommunity. Oh shit, can I get my money back? Hey everybody, Sandra Bullock's up here giving money back for bad movies she did. I'll give that money back for the proposal and nothing else. I saw the net. Can I get money back for that? Well what? Wait, can I get money back if I saw Ocean's 12

and thought it was Sandra Bullock the whole time? No one wants Keanu Reeves money back. No one wants any money back from him. Are you sure? Are you sure? Huh. Why can't we get money back for Reeves? I mean, Matrix, John Wick, Bill and Ted.

Oh, the Lakers? The House. Solid. That's a solid movie. Huh. Huh. It's a solid movie It's because I'm a woman. Uh-oh, what? An older woman in Hollywood and that's why you want your money. No, here take my money. There we go See

The tables have turned well that's our show Aaron. Do you have anything to plug for yourself or Sandra Balik? I'm so glad you asked. I'm going to plug eating a Christmas ornament you got from your aunt on a TikTok video. I think that in a TikTok video, you should just chat down, swallow it whole Christmas ornament, and you'll get those clicks, get those views. Hashtag ornamental.

People will use that sound. No, that's the only thing I have to plug. JPC me. Oh, also what a plug. Sorry, about TikTok. I've seen so many Hey Riddle Riddle plug. Huh. Oh, I also want to plug, sorry, about TikTok. I've seen so many Hey Riddle Riddle TikTok tips, tips, tips, tips, tips, tips, tips, tips, tips, tips, tips, tips, pop up my four U page and they always blow my mind and make me smile.

So thank you to anyone who's made those. Those are so sweet. Hell yeah. JPC anything to plug? I wouldn't want to blow my mind and smile. That's unsaccensory over. Another one for me to plug, you can follow me twitch.tv slash shark barkman, Adel. Anything you'd like to plug?

I just want to plug like, you know, just like, I don't know, just like call a friend or something. You know? That's nice. Yeah, no text, just like column. You know? If Adel's gonna plug phone a friend, I am gonna plug 50-50, which for what it's two incorrect answers.

Aaron, is there anything that you would like to plug in that instance? Oh yeah, there's a third one. On a friend's 50. If you pull the audience, I'd like to plug polling the audience. You're not really making a choice unless you're asking a bunch of people what they think of that choice. And Aaron, one final question. For a million dollars. Is the planet I'm thinking of, a, B Uranus, C Saturn, or D Jupiter.

Do you have one minute? I'd like to phone a friend. Okay. Who are we talking to? I'd like to call my friend JP Riddles. Okay, let's call JP Riddles for our answer. Here we go. Okay, it's ringing.

It's ringing. It's still ringing. Okay. Hello, JP Riddles, phone. Hi, GP Riddles. What planet is he thinking of? A Saturn B Uranus C Mercury D Jupiter. I'll tell you what that doctor founties on another planet if he digs up in a book that my clone Kippit my heart! Bill Gates lives on a yacht with all the better files in the world! And he's gonna try to get me sick! No thanks Mr. Gates!

I'm not gonna get your virus! And I'm so sorry we are at a time. Do you Jupiter? No, I'm sorry. I lost a million dollars. But he's family, so what do you do? I also want to say... We put cancel, the case is even canceled, the case is I get it.

For a future reference, I don't appreciate that the person you called popped their head out of my mouth. I don't know how that happened, but I would prefer that it won't happen again. Well, everyone, I'm ready to film and keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars. That's KC KC, so bye forever. I don't think I was like a poster in a middle school classroom. I don't have a Patrick calling. Casey, don't you do the editing? I already heard it in the music.

I was a little bit more. I was a little bit more. Vocal created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Naboris. I'm not stupid. You're a great, great, great young man. This episode was a mess. let's just throw it away. or back catalog at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or the review crew for $8 a month. See you there!