Hey Riddle Riddle - #175: Answer in French

Episode Date: November 24, 2021

Happy day before Thanksgiving, everybody! We know you’re probably in transit to see some people you haven’t seen in awhile and you might be nervous. But don’t worry! We’ve got you covered. Adal and JPC have advice for any situation you might run into this weekend. The Clew Crew also does some listener submitted riddles and reinvents some classic literature. We probably make it worse-but we won't say! (we make it worse) Ok! Well. See you later! Bye! Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. And we're gonna be right here. One, two, three, four, eight, We're gonna be right here. One, two, three, four, eight, We're gonna be right here. One, two, three, four, eight, We're gonna be right here. One, two, three, four, eight, We're gonna be right here.

Wow, how nice to sit around the table with my other co-hosts. JPC, would you please pass the spaghetti squash? Absolutely, here's the spaghetti and...ush, slush, slush. Thank you so much. Aaron, would you be, would I be in this cup for me? I have a drug test coming up. I would love to JPC.

Thank you. Oh, you have a secret? Yes, how can you please pass the green beans? Okay, I will pass the green beans. Let me eat these green beans. I'm in the numb Okay, we'll wait four to six hours No, no, no, it's like 24 to 36 hours not for Adel speak for yourself, huh? How are you my guess for entriologists? Oh?

Go around the table and talk about what we're grateful for. Oh, not thankful? Is it great giving? Yeah. Is it grateful giving? Yeah, it's three weeks before Thanksgiving. We're celebrating great giving. Okay, hold on, I forgot that it's great giving.

Let me get my Parmesan here and just say, win. Great. Okay, let me get my Jerry Garcia T-shirt here, okay? And a win. Who? I am thankful for this podcast because I am Adler Fy. I am thankful for my friend's Adel and Aaron because I am JPC and I am thankful for Casey Tony because I am Aaron Keith And go ahead Casey Tony when she says Aaron Keith just like edit like fart sounds over that or whatever

Hey, and as we eat the rest of this dinner do not feed Casey at the table Okay, he's gonna lick your hand Yeah, he's gonna watch human food from now on Because what you do can leave I have to clean up the fucking mess. Do not feed Casey under the table. Okay, are we clear? I guess the thing I'm most thankful for is we treat and talk about our sound editor like he's a dog. He's sort of the only reason why the show works, but I like that we talk about him like he's a small dog that sits under the table.

Well, he never a small dog that sits under the table. Whoa, he never said small dog. If anything, Casey's a medium sized dog. He's like a, I don't know, he's like a good sized dog breed, like a border collie. Yeah, he's got some torque to him. He's got a nice, he's a heavy under the hood. I would've, this is my game. What breed of dog do we think Casey Tony is?

I love this question. I don't think he's a yippy small dog. I think he's a good bark. Don't say a hot dog. Casey says hot dog. Casey, no, shut up. Shut up, you hot dog. Shut up, you hot dog.

Shut up, hot dog. Hot dog. There was a guy in high school that one of an upper class man, he was in my grade, an upper class man gave him the nickname Corn Dog, and that followed him, he was like, look at this Corn Dog looking guy. He didn't look anything like a Corn Dog, I don't know what that means,

but that name followed him for all of high school. And I thought Corn Dog is a really cool nickname, but he didn't care for it. He didn't like it. I think that's a pretty good nickname, a sort of middle of the road. Yeah, it's gender neutral. I remember most of it in high school or college,

there was like a lot of roasts going on, like a lot of sugar on TV, roasts and stuff. And I remember people at parties would be like, look at this life saver neck motherfucker. And everyone would die laughing. And I'm like, the guy doesn't have a life saver neck. Like I don't,

but I think if you just said something confidently There's a there's a five-year period. Oh, there's a four or five-year period where if you said something confidently People would die laughing and be like yes, that is correct Yeah Well the thing about roast humor is that a lot of it is just mean. Yeah, you know It's it's not necessarily funny as much as it is just like super mean, which can be funny. And sometimes it's funny when it's like, like kind of celebrities doing it to each other because they're kind of on an equal, you know, an equal level. But when you take like a

roast comedy to the streets, it can turn pretty quick. Yeah, to the halls of a high school. It's not great. No, no, no, no, the power dynamics are different. Well, welcome to the halls of a high school. It's not great. No, no, no, no, no. The power to make sure to. Well, welcome to the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. You are probably on a plane or a train or in a car or walking to a family member's house to endure. The holiday that is Thanksgiving. So we're gonna keep you company for that. I am Old Man puzzles this episode, and normally I would fuck around,

and today is no different. How was your week? Aaron. Aaron. Okay, she got it. How was your week? Is everyone having a good week? I guess so.

I don't fucking know what happened this week. You know, here's my thing about the fall, and I've been on record as saying that I love the fall as early as last week, when I talked about how much I love the fall. But the thing is, it's winter too fucking quick, okay? It gets too cold too quickly. I saw that it's snowed on Friday.

I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like the too cold already. I don't like that I'm already wearing fucking winter gloves. That's, that to me is too much. Fallen Chicago is two weeks. It's starting right now, Aaron.

Oh. Aaron, we should say this is the first episode, the first main feed episode we've recorded since your 30th birthday. I think the biggest question on the table is how is your, how is your week slash 30th birthday? Well, I think I might have sprained my wrist while I was blow drying my hair today, so.

That's about it. You spray painted your wrist while you were blow drying your hair. Aaron, I gotta ask, what were you using as a blow dryer? It's not like I was a gannis spray paint. I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm having a good week. I have just been chilling. I'm watching a lot of Joe Perra catching up

before the new season episodes. It's so good. I thought that was going into Joe Pesci. No, I wish. Followed question. Do you think Joe Perra could do a Joe Pesci impression? No. I think it would be great. I think they are diametrically different speeds. Joe Pesci's still alive. I think it would be great. I think they are diametrically different speeds.

Joe Pesci's still alive. He's still with the stress. Yeah, absolutely. And I would love to see a Joe Pesci two-hander. The pair of pescians. Buddy comedy. A pair of pescians. A pair of pescians.

How was your weeks? Anything exciting happened your weekends? Did you go to the mall? Did you make a friend? Did you play a board game? Yeah, I For so I gotta tell you I love how you always ask us about ourselves and ask us about our weeks I love that feature on the show, but as we're approaching winter

I gotta say nothing is going to change. We're gonna be at our apartments and our homes and our houses We're gonna be all bundled up someone's like hey, I heard about a concert. I'll be like, fuck you, you talked to me in the spring. You don't even look at me until spring. And that's gonna be winter. It's like it's hunkering down season. Oh, I will say, the one fun thing that happened this past week was a JPC and I and Arty Parrott went to go see Big Grande at Lincoln, Lodge in Chicago.

Sounds so cozy, How was it? It was delightful. Wonderful show. It was a very fun show. Got to hang with them afterwards for a while. Got to meet some Hey Riddle fans. Shout out to Lydia. Lydia? Yeah, it was a very good time. Lydia sat at our table.

Was very brave. We were being very funny, and they were doing their best to be very brave. We loved him to brave fan of the show. I'd say they're all brave. Well, I'm very jealous. That would have been fun for them to come always to lived in the city, but I get it.

It's pointed. It was very funny because we went with friend of the show, Arnie Parrot. And I was talking to Lydia while Adela was getting a drink. And they were very excited to meet me, who wouldn't be I said an addle sitting right next right here and then there's a third empty chair I was like and this chair is already parrot. It's not Aaron Just just to adjust a just expectations Aaron will not be joining us for today's present That's okay. I would prefer Arnie Barrett.

That's like the best person to sit next to. Oh, me too. He's the best. He will have an awesome drink order. Come on, Adel. You love sitting next to Arnie. He's going to tell you what cocktail to order and he's going to say hilarious stuff.

Adel, come on. Adel, be reasonable. Who would you rather sit next to? You or Arnie? Come on. Nice, thanks. Do you guys mind if I, I'm gonna take a little break. Can you guys? Yeah, we do mind.

We just started the show. Okay, so no breaks. This guy's always fun. No, he doesn't take breaks, Arnie. That's true. He did the music. He's never taking breaks, and if he does, do I hear about him? No. He separates that kind of stuff unbelievable

I also love professional. Yeah, can I tell you something about sitting next to you? Yeah, it's either great Or it's the worst choice I've ever made because if one weird thing one sort of off moment Happens and whatever you and I are watching we're gonna get the giggles so bad and one of us is gonna have to stand up to leave. Are you telling me that you don't do that? Something weird doesn't happen on the stage and then you go and then I have to go I'm sorry I have to leave Adels get that's the gig isn't now I'm going to get them. There are a lot of moments where Aaron and I will catch each others eyes and then it's truly it's like I can't recover from this. On stage if someone says something weird I go just, just don't look at me, Adel. We're gonna be able to maneuver away through this and you just do not look at me.

I think that one of the big advantages of sitting next to Adel, other thing is he's probably going to order like food or something, and he's probably going to, like, you know, you can pick at that with him. Now, in COVID times, it's slightly different. And I wish it out a lot, because all he was ordering was alcohol,

and I tried to pick at it, and he was like, get your fingers out of my beer. And I was like, I'm trying to have fun. Like, you're having fun, I wanna have fun. I dumped some skittles in my beer, and I said, go fish them out, bitch. Adults personality is that of a generous man on his last day on earth.

Adults always like, French fries for the table, I'll get you a drink. Do you want me to order you a car home? Who needs anything at all? That's how he operates on a Tuesday It's like it's like Brewster's billions, but it's like Adel's hundreds You're like, are you sure man? And Jay need to submit this and my accountant is telling me not to try and spend it all within a week I'm buying rare stamps. I'm I'm fine.

John Candy, all the jewelry he wants. Well, speaking of generosity, it would be very generous of the two of you to participate in it. Come on, man. I'm sorry, pass. No, we give it the office since tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Oh, yes. And this might be a lot of people's

first Thanksgiving with family since COVID happened. Their virginity. Oh. Well yeah, but a lot of people probably lost their virginity this year too. So we can't just count that. Yeah, I mean, I never just count that. You never forget your first Thanksgiving. This is going to be your first Thanksgiving since you fucked. Yeah, but that wonderful? The opportunity is sort of a social contract. I'm excited for you if you're excited, but also just don't stress too much about your virginity. I wanna see you soon. No.

I wanna see you soon. No, I don't. We can all have time. Oh my God. We don't have time. Okay, okay. How was your week here? No.

How was your two weeks ago? So, I wanna, so I kind of forget how to act in social situations. Sure. And so I created a list of scenarios and we're going to do what would you do if you found yourself in this Thanksgiving specific scenario. And then you guys can sort of tell me what you would do and we can give advice to the listeners about what they should do if they find themselves in that situation. Aaron, there's, oh, this is perfect. There's a popular TV show called What Would You Do? Do you know this?

Yeah, I mean, it's my nightmare to make it on that show. Anytime I'm at a restaurant and someone's yelling at their daughter. Here's my thing, Aaron. It is my nightmare to not be on that show. Because what's going to happen is someone will be like robbing a convenience store and I'll be like, this is clearly what would you do? And I'm going to step in front and be like, give me that gun. And then I'm going to get my brains blown out.

And I'll be like, fuck, I thought it was the show. How many episodes that show have you ever watched? Has there ever been a gun involved in any of those episodes? That's insane. I don't like this show. I'll be like, stop yelling at that waiter. And then they'll be like, wait, great, we'll focus on you. And they'll throw me through the window and I'll be like, I yelling at that waiter. And then they'll be like, wait, great, we'll focus on you. And they'll throw me through the window.

And I'll be like, I wish I was on the show. Adel's gonna be in like a hostage situation with a chemical spill and he's like, relax. I know what show we're on. And people are like, don't touch those chemicals. That's chemical. Everyone relax, that bears animatronic. And they're like, no, we're in the wilderness.

Now we know why Adel has gotten into so many fights. He thinks he's always on the show. What would you do? He thinks he's always on the show. He thinks he's always on the show. I call out injustices everywhere. Okay, so some of these are gonna be easy. Some of these are gonna be hard.

Let's just get started. That's been my experience in life. Yeah, and I want you to just go with your gut on this. Sure, Okay. Quick answers. Because my gut is always telling me puke, puke, puke. It's poison. It was poison.

You shouldn't have eaten it. You got a puke now. It wasn't taking that job from the king to test all this food. Okay. So your aunt asks what you want to do with your English degree. What do you do? Um, I tell him. Answer in French.

I tell my aunt. Wow. I tell my aunt. You miss it, but I want to write a novel based on her life. And then I fucking drag her in the book. Okay, I love it. All right. Yeah, I would say that I want to go into journalism

with my English degree. And then depending on what the dynamic of my family is, I would be like some of my idols are Glendale, Tucker Carlson, or I would go the other way and be like Bill O'Reilly, or I would go the complete opposite direction, and I would go one of those morons from Fox and Fred, but I basically only know those, that kind of area, Don Lemon.

Ha ha ha ha ha. I think that's great advice, right? Your crazy uncle says vaccine, schmack, seen. Oh, I've already thought about this one. What are you going to do? I would say, well, yeah, I mean, obviously, like for most people, it doesn't work, but you know that you can get the Johnson and Johnson, and then if you don't like the results, you

can go back 48, as long as it's within 48 hours, you can go back and just ask them to take it out. Pfff. So here's my thought process here. Johnson, Johnson, that's one shot. If you can convince your crazy uncle that they can actually go do takes these backs and just- Take these backsies.

You just vaccinated your crazy ass uncle. And then he goes back to Walgreens or whatever 48 hours later, and they're like, what are you talking about? You fucking maniac, get out of here. That's kind of smart. Add a low-key. You just saved a life.

Yeah. I politely laugh and then I make a knowing glance at my sister. She picks up one end of the table I pick up together and we move the whole dinner up to the front lawn. And we continue with our uncle sitting in the house still. Ah. Ah. Ah.

I love that one. Honestly, I think that that one might, if you can't think of an answer to any of these, that's probably gonna work for most of these, okay? I'm not sharing a tight space with this moron. A cool teen rolls their eyes at you. Cool teen, are we related to this cool teen? Yes. Okay.

I guess I'm just shooting off the dome, but this is kind of the direction that would go. I'm just gonna keep talking. I don't really have anything planned, but this is where I'm gonna start it. I see them roll their eyes, and I say, hey Brian, do you just roll your eyes? And they say no, I'd be like, I'm not mad.

I just wanna know, do you just roll your eyes? Yeah, fine, I rolled my eyes. I'd be like, well, you heard about the kid want to know, did you just roll your eyes? Finally, yeah, finally I rolled my eyes. I'd be like, well, you heard about the kid whose eyes rolled out of his head, right? He rolled his, he got everything so fucking stupid and boring, and he was so sarcastic, and he rolled his eyes, and he rolled his eyes, and he rolled his eyes in one day.

His eyes rolled right out of his head. And then Brian says something like, you know, that didn't fucking happen. That's not a story, that's nothing. I'm like, okay, Brian, well, how about this? How about I beat the fucking shit out of you? How about I beat your ass, Brian? What if he's 13 or 14, not like nine years?

Easier, way closer. Well, yeah, the older it gets, the harder it's gonna be for me to beat his ass. Okay, all right, that's a good answer, Adel. Aaron and a cool teen rolls his eyes at me. I look him dead in the face and I crumble. Oh, okay. I excuse myself, I go up to my room.

I text my mom, is he gone yet? Once he's gone, I come downstairs and I quietly enjoy movies. Yeah, you just like are sniffling from the crying upstairs. Perfect. I might also see him roll his eyes and say, do you just roll your eyes at me?

When I was your age, we were rolling joint, stepping up an involving fluid and getting us fucking high, possibly good. What are you doing, you little fucking coward? You're rolling your eyes at a Thanksgiving. And you guys, you could have that advice for fun. Don't do hard drugs and then get back to me. Don't, I mean, yeah, you know what, do that.

Do that, I've heard. No, do not, do not dip weed an involving fluid. No, no, no know what, do that. Do that, I'm not. No, do not, do not dip weed and involve it with that. No, no, no, fuck. Do that. That's basically poison. You could just go and ask them to take it out the next day. Um, you can, you can always get it out of the CVS. A dog that looks lifeless behind his eyes wins the Purina dog show when the Australian shepherd

is right there. What is the Purina dog show? The dog show on Thanksgiving. It's right up to the parade. I think you'd extrapolate what it is Sorry JPC. I do you Is it like a puppy bull is that is that is it? People what is it dogs eating big? Shows what is it dogs eating big skin? No, it is a dog show on Thanksgiving you wake up You watch the parade Santa's at the end, he waves, you're feeling

festive, and then the dog show comes on, and it's the Purina dog show. Am I crazy? Addle back me up. No, and JPC, let me just do what you did. What is the pizza and putt putt palace? What is that? What's possibly housed there at pizza and putt putt palace? That's a really silly name, Addle. you're not really getting the better of this exchange is there court is there royalty it's a palace is pizza and put are they the king and queen like who is the prince the breaks jerry i wish you chose a less silly name okay my question is the puppy ball is technically a dog show it's a show featuring dogs it's in place of the Super Bowl,

their dogs playing football. My guess was a Thanksgiving dog show is like dogs eating a Thanksgiving turkey. And I would love to see the pack of dogs in the table. Where people will breed dogs and they're beautiful and they're too perfect and they're, it's probably bad for the dogs. But then a lady in a sparkly jacket walks around and she goes this one has good teeth and the tails in the right place and I've checked out

It's but and it's pretty good like and then they give an award to the dog. Okay. Yeah, I mean, I love that I just didn't know that that what they do that every year on Every year and it's great. You should put it on while you're cooking and can we some please not my answers change the channel year and it's great you should put it on while you're cooking. And can we please not buy upstairs change the channel. Can we not bring up the puppy bull because I just found out that they do not receive any income from their image and likeness. So if you buy a puppy bull jersey and wear it around they don't receive any royalties or anything from that.

Yeah and also they probably have just not safe to smash your head that many times. Yeah they all have a lot of those. A lot of those they have a what. They have a, what is it? CRE or what is it? No, it's CTE. CTE? It does stand for cute, tiny, ee-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e in there. What do you get? Well, mashed potatoes is what I call making love. So I sneeze while making mashed potatoes, wink wink. And I'm pretty sure what happened. So much happened so fast.

What are you like, a game show host from the 40s? Name a place you might make mashed potatoes. So you and the missions are making mashed potatoes in the bedroom. Oh my God. Where's the word is placed in the mashed potatoes in the butt? No. That gives also post potatoes, like, uh, uh,

another interesting record. Spogue of cigarette. Sweetie cuddle. Uh, I'm post potatoes right now. Uh, unbelievable. You just scroll over. Okay. Uh, cigarette, post potatoes.

Uh, no, I won't be mashing potatoes. No, pay. So I guess, uh, just serve them is our advice. No, if I'm. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not.

It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not.

It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's me. Katana cuts the football in half. Mid-air fruit ninja style.

You cannot bring that to Thanksgiving. I twill it out. Did I wipe the football blood? I don't know what you said, those things. I flick it off into the grass, then wipe the Katana off. J.B.C., I'm pretty sure it's not blood. I don't know though. I guess I don't know.

I've never taken a life that I didn't take. It is part of my code. It's a football ninja. I'm having a lot of fun today. Okay. Do you think that I was the kind of kid that owned a katana? No, I don't. Adel? I think if I had to choose between if you were the kind of kid who threw a football or had a katana I'd take Katana all day Yeah, that's a good bet. That's a good bet you'd be winning money on that winner winner chicken dinner. I did I have a cut I had a replica katana in a replica English broadsword wow do you still have them to bro Yeah, let's see Brontsword is Do I still have the...

In the Lana or what's your name? Yes, yeah. And Hannibal Burruss is a big part of my broad sort as well. No, I don't have them anymore. I mean, they're probably in a box somewhere in my dad's basement. Or potentially my little brother took them at one point. I can't imagine a box that would house a broad sword.

You know, it was, you know, it's a, it's the box the swords came in. So I mentioned that. Okay. Another guest shows up in the same J. Crew sweater as you. What do you do? I scream because I never put on that sweater.

I say, oh my God, you wrote J. Crew. All right. I wrote J. Crow in college. Okay, next. I was the cox way. Huh, what? I actually want to take this one seriously. Okay. This is a family member of mine.

And they show up wearing the same sweater as me. Yeah, and it's like obvious. Yeah, I mean, I got to think like none of my family has, we don't have like a similar fashion sense. So I think I'd be legitimately impressed. And I think I'd have like a new conversation point to start with one of my like uncles or cousins or something. Wait, you're saying your mom doesn't wear tank tops

in a backwards hat? Well, we assume that those were my birth pairs. I, I, I don't believe it. I believe that I was birthed by a cartoon dog wearing a tank top at a back with a hat. I think you were dead. You, you're what happened when a dolphin drink Mountain Dew. JPC, you're choosing to see it as a positive thing because a conversation

starter. I think that's great. Yeah, I would be, I mean, what is my family gonna fuck up care? My family's gonna be like, I don't have the type of family that would be like, oh, look at the two people wearing the same sweater. My family's more like you'd be like, no ham in the green beans.

Come on, what are we doing here, no ham in the green beans? No ham in the green beans. Come on, what are we doing here? No ham in the green beans. No ham in the green beans. Let's make my favorite Chris Rock bit. Yes. Oh yeah, shit. And speaking of ones that could have a positive spin, add all I think that you could probably

positively spin this. Anyone can, you can. Your turkey comes back to life and starts running about the room. Oh, I think I applaud it and cheer it on. And I say, go get grandma, get grandma. I have a really important clarifying question. Aaron, is this happening at my house or is this happening at like a family member's house?

I love this question. It's happening at a family member's house. It's not entirely responsibility. Okay. I guess my answer is the same, but the, I kind of the equipment has changed. I do put yak of these sacks on, but I'm just playing it on my phone because I'm not really sure if they have Bluetooth speakers, so if I can connect to them. It's my house, I'm definitely piping that throughout the whole house, just so we're all on the same page just to what this

thing is doing. But yeah, if it's, if it's, I will follow as close as I can to the turkey just to make sure the full effect is kind of there, but if there's, I will follow as close as I can to the turkey just to make sure the full effect is kind of there, but if there's a cooked turkey running around the room and just the phone audio from your cousin across the room. But it's not even that loud for everyone to really hear it. It's sort of the faint like idea of it. And I'm like, sorry, everybody spotify only has a live version.

So it's not, it's not the best. Do you want to listen to an ad before it starts? I like it and I'm like sorry everybody spotify only has a live version so it's not that's not the best I've listened to an ad before it starts I like the idea of every time you get like a call or like the music stops for a minute the turkey stops running And kind of just like folds its arms folds its wings and it's kind of patiently taps its toes Well now Adelaide and I guess I have a question for you Sure unfortunately There was a time in my life where this would have been true. I, it is no longer because I am a chronic downsizer

and I know that you are not this way. Do you have like props and costume pieces in your house that you could easily go get to and, you know, provide the turkey like wigs and fakes sunglasses and stuff like that? A hundred percent. Okay, well then I wish I had. That would be my go-to move.

It's like this turkey's running around. I gotta make sure it's able to do bits. I used to own 10 wigs. You know, I just don't, I don't have that stuff anymore. So almost have like a pretty woman-esque moment where you're reading a newspaper and it goes into a room, comes out and you shake your head and it goes back in and it keeps trying on different outfits.

Sure, it'd be like a candle because we're gonna like age it to the modern times. But it's essentially the same thing. I have a Beatles wig. I would love to see a turkey wear. Ooh, okay. Yeah, just sort of a little Ringo star turkey, that's best.

The grouch of eyes and glasses with the fake nose. I'd love to see that on a turkey, I think. Yeah. Only three more and then we'll go on a break and then I have a ton of riddles. So we'll do those after the break. Okay. Oh, could I get a little shirt to put on it

that says, based friends? And there's an arrow pointing to me. We're not going to stop that. I would never withhold that from you. I think you deserve that kind of joy. All right, next one. Preteens ask you to film a TikTok with them and you're not sure if they want you to be in it

or to film it for them, what do you do? I will say TikTok terrifies me, not in terms of how to use it or anything or technology, but I just watched a video today that was like 400,000 likes, and it was just a woman and like a little thing appeared on her head that cycled through all the different types of iPhones, and then it landed on iPhone 12, which I guess it was saying like which iPhone are you, and it said iPhone 12, and she gave a little gasp and a giggle and stuck out her

tongue, and that had 400,000 likes. So that kind of shit terrifies me of like, that's fun. In a world where everyone is, in a world where people think that's good content, nothing is good content. So you're not filming it. So you're not filming it. So you're not filming it. So you're not filming it.

So you're not filming it. So you're not filming it. So you're not filming it. So you're not filming it. So you're not filming it. So you're not filming it. So you're not filming it. So you're not filming it.

So you're not filming it. So you're not filming it. So you're not filming it. So you're not filming it. So you're not filming it. So you're not filming it. So you're not filming it. So you're not filming it. if someone wanted me to take a picture, like a large gathering, I of course, say that I will, I grab their phone, I put, I position everything, I get everything ready, and then I flip the camera back to myself, and then I take a video of just me while they're doing whatever they're doing.

And then I upload that directly to TikTok or just hand the phone back to them if they're strangers and they ask me to take a big group photo, and that's that. And then I go about my day. I think that's a little bit cruel because they go, what if they captured gold? Here's a thing, Aaron. I know 90% of the photos that are going to be taken, of the videos that are going to

be taken are not going to be better than a video of me because I'm one of the funniest people that I've ever met. So if I'm giving someone a photo of me or a video of me looking at a phone, that's something that they can treasure for the rest of their lives. That's some piece of shit thing that they probably fucking forget about and don't leave it anyway.

Wow, you're just like fucking Banksy. Yes. Providing value. You changed my mind. I agree with you now. Someday a private collector is gonna put all of my art at a museum show. And I'm gonna just see, I'm gonna see the sign as I'm walking back and I say, you know what? I know I did good. I know I did good to the world.

Can we start JPC? Is there a time this winter that works for you where you and I can meet up in that park that's close to us? And we just like to face the... Contanify? Yeah. We just like to face the property, but you sign it JPC and then we just like to face. Contentify it. Yeah. We just like to face some property, but you sign it, JAPC, and then we just start, that we start doing that around Chicago and like slowly, but surely you gain a fan base. But you never try and hide yourself, you're like,

it's like daily, you go on TV and you're like, I'm JAPC, like please, believe me. That's kind of fun, right? Banksy, who's just kind of like out there? Yeah, who's like sweaty for attention? Yeah, yeah, yeah, real, Banksy who's just kind of like out there. Yeah, who's like sweaty for attention. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Real thirsty Banksy. Or.

Or, Petana fight. Or we meet up in that park every Wednesday and we do a fucking Petana fight, my baby. Under my cut, Tana, Ana, Ana. Two more. Oh, two more. Sorry. Your brother-in-law tells you the internals might have been good

if it hadn't tried to be so woke while you're just trying to enjoy some pie. What do you do? I never stopped chewing the pie. Every time from that day forward for the rest of my life until one of us dies, every time I see him, I'm pretending to chew pie and holding up a one minute finger. I mean, here's the thing about my brother in law said, Pension there. I don't think he's wrong. No, no, you, JBC don't do this. That's literally the worst thing. I mean, look, there's, there was no world in which the eternal was going to be good, right? I liked it. I think I liked it too. My only complaint was that I didn't see it

and it was a little too woke. Ha ha ha. The eternal's, that's a little lifest, isn't it? What about us who are mortal, okay? Some of us die as we were. I don't see myself on screen as someone who dies. If all of the Marvel movies came out when I was a kid or a teen, this would have been my favorite.

Wow, really? Yeah, I really loved it. And I just thought I could go on and on about it. And maybe one day I will. But people don't like it when I get too chatty on the show. Wow. Feeling very called out is what addolistic. Not me. I don't ever feel self-conscious of something like that. Last one. Yes. Your mom can tell

that you got high before dinner and she rage whispers, why can't this just be a nice day? This could be grandma's last last Thanksgiving. She says this every year. What do you do? I say grandma doesn't deserve any more nice days. Grandma is a racist. Grandma deserves exactly what's coming to her. And then I look at grandma for this part and I mouth in hell.

Hahaha. I love it. That adult, what did you do? I think when I laugh hysterically, pick up the remote control, aim it at my mom and try and change the channel. Perfect, well we hope that that is helpful for your Thanksgiving tomorrow. If not, we're sorry.

I'm not sorry. Oh, okay, sorry. I'm sorry. I know Adel's always sorry and JPC's never sorry and I'm always very confused. Are you guys, we go about to go to break, what would you do? Holy shit, we're the three bears. I never even thought about that. We are the three bears. I'm Mama Bear, JPC's Papa Bear and I'm like your baby bear.

And we'll be right back. I'll be your head, make a break, don't you? Hey JPC. Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Addle. And I'm setting up a whole website to prank him. Um, can I just need some advice?

This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking app. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stay in doubt and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website

engaged with your audience. And so let anything for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms? Hey, Otto come here come here. Hey, what's what's going on? I actually I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have any Thing that like is there like an online store like it set up on my website to sell product? Did you know that with Squarespace you can have custom merch? You can easily sell custom

merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production, and inventory and shipping are handled for you, saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with Adel? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just sending up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing.

No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website, the prank activity.

Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. No, that's awesome Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website is for Frank With square space You can connect to your store to vetted third party tools to extend the functionality of your website Hey jpc. Hey jpc. What's up, Adam? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine dude

We got her anyway if you want to prank Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron.

Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey Adel and JPC, thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an impasse. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way.

I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, they're never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, have they're never truly is a middle of the woods? No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually. So, as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this?

Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices, and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career, relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow, sorry, that also does so fast.

Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Mm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works

way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Dirty bread crumbs. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down.

Anyways, let there be your map with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. H-E-L-P dot com slash riddle r-i-d-d-l-e r-i-d-d-l-e the middle of riddles of d but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the United States. I hope you get home. Bye, am home. Who are we? I'm home. Who are we?

I clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday. And we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app rocket money. Oh, yeah, Aaron. That's one of my favorite things as well. Mm-hmm rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions. Monitoring your spending and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years

Way before they were a sponsor and it helps me so much especially around tax season. Clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, Kling. Sorry, I also want to give it a toast. Rocket money, well quickly, and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel, and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy, Kling, Kling, Kling. It also categorizes your expenses,

so you can easily track your budget in real time, and also get alerted if anything looks off. Over three million, over three million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rock. Stop, stop, no, stop, no, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwirtorted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rock at money Dotcom slash riddle. That's rocket money dot com slash riddle rocket money dot com slash riddle

Intel and JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website I love you rocket money. I'm clank clank clank any of the website. I love you, Rugg and Money. I love you, Rugg and Money. I love you, Rugg and Money. I love you, Rugg and Money. I love you, Rugg and Money. I love you, Rugg and Money.

I love you, Rugg and Money. I love you, Rugg and Money. I love you, Rugg and Money. I love you, Rugg and Money. I love you, Rugg and Money. I love you, Rugg and Money. I love you, Rugg and Money. I love you, Rugg and Money.

Oh boy, that break was too cold. That break was too hot. And I got poridged by bad. Forget it. Forget it. Forget it. Forget it. Forget it.

Forget it. Forget it. Forget it. Forget it. Forget it. Forget it. Forget it. Forget it. Forget it. Forget it. Forget it. Forget it. Spook it so great. So we're mostly going to be doing listeners submitted riddles and I guess this technically counts but this morning when I was curating riddles I said, hey Sean write a riddle really quick. Oh wow. And he was just mining his own business and then he wrote this one. Interesting just to see the window into your relationship because there was no leaves. There was no, I mean, it's just, it is right to business.

And this is your job, but it's not his. Yeah. So it's kind of like Sean do my business. So this is your job, but it's not his. So it's kind of like, Sean, do my work for me. Yeah, exactly. Oh boy. So you say, you say hump and he says, how high? Exactly, exactly. What acts like you, but only when you're there.

Drunk Aaron. Exactly, I do very good impressions, but I have to hear you talk right before I do it. What acts like you, but only when you're there. Is that like me doing an impression of air and being like, I'm here. Here. Here. Here. Oh, that's a weird thing. I was going to do an impression of you that's like, I'm JP.

See, can you believe this? But I love how we don't do these behind each other's backs. No, only do these impressions if you are there to your face. Yeah, I respect you too much to do that behind your back So your GPC I've set it little at all Right is this bookers or is this dip to me? Sorry real quick. You're both doing the same eight-year-old boy I don't know I'm doing a spot-on impression of JPC from here at all riddle mind is a picture perfect Aaron okay

Okay, okay, Casey go ahead and just do it if you do with the audio to make those both sound like us. Might as a picture, perfect errand. Okay, okay, Casey, go ahead and just do whatever you do with the audio to make those both sound like us. Is it a mirror? Yes, you got it. Whoa, was Sean, wait, let me ask this question. When Sean wrote this riddle, was he standing in front of a mirror shirtless, dripping milk all over his body, or?

You wish. I'll take my answer off one. No, he wrote he made that up very quickly and I was very impressed and I said you know I'm actually going to read it. All right, since that's done next riddle. Thank God, thank God, thank God we only had Sean on the Patreon one time because I think that he's kind of maybe better at this than us. That's true. I'd like to see you, Shane. Oh, and now you may. Your tie-bout is over and now you may see a Z.

Thank you so much. Father Riddles, Aaron, you are walking past a mirror. You know something unusual. You go back to stand completely in front of it for a while. JPC, you are her reflection, but something's a little bit off. All right, so I'm going to just set out something in my teeth. So I'm just gonna go check that. Oh whoa That's a little

Weird five days what what who said that I'm I'm sorry. I'm sorry Which we literally are not supposed to do. Oh, I'm not a fraction talking to you. Okay, I'm so sorry. Trust me. Do not tell anyone about this. This is such a confusing rules, but I just had to stop you until you five days. Five days to what? Or five days to what? I really can't say anymore. That's what that don't know if that will prepare you I don't know that I'm gonna be but socks. That's worse than not saying anything and now I gotta go back Tell me no no no no no no no no no

All right, well now you're just delayed No, you're just doing everything. I'm doing 30 seconds after me. Just tell me what happens in five days. Is it good? Is it bad? That depends What happens in five days? Is it good? Is it bad? Uh, that depends. Where do you stand on the concept of death? Is that like a positive or like a... Don't, uh, am I dying? Am I killing someone? Does someone I love die? Okay, yes. What? All three? No. Just like, just a general yes to that light of question

Knock knock ma'am are there any other sizes I can bring you is everything okay in the fitting room? No, I was just getting something out of my teeth and these jeans fit great These jeans by the way these do not fit great. Oh shut up. Oh, I'm here These are fucking did you want different jeans are there? No, no, no, no, there's just me in here Thank you Okay, that that second one was me trying to help you I was great. We're wearing sure, but it did the wrong size You know what they don't fit you and I'm a smash this mirror what happens to you if I smash it? I would say I would change what I was gonna say to like one minute. Oh my god. Oh my god. I can see the way that you

balled up your fist there. You're gonna cut all of your wrist. Okay, how about this? Okay, five days. Okay, something bad is gonna happen to you in five days. I actually know something about you. I'm you. So yes, I Oh my god. Yeah, Dr. We have a patient on the gurney here. She punched a mirror. She's lost a lot of blood. What's your diagnosis? Okay Well two days two weeks Two days, two weeks. Uh, God if I had a guess, I'd give her maybe five days.

Come on. I'm sorry, man, but this injury is severe. I'd say five days at the most. Wait a minute. Fuck, you're my fucking reflection. This is not a real doctor. This is my reflection. See.

Reflection of a doctor. Oh my god. Okay, so. It was a reflection of a woman. Riddles. Come from... So. Dean, I can't.

No, they don't suck. They don't suck. And Aaron, the little game that you played up top, I gotta give credit, we're credit to this deal. That was great. It was a real fun. It was a real fun. It wasn't Riddles-o-o-o.

So shame on you. But it was very fun. So I have to give you props for that. Well, I'm so glad. I mean, it's a holiday. We can divert from the expectations. Aaron, we can do whatever we want at any time. We just, the only thing is we just got to suffer

those consequences. That's fine. When people are mad, we got to let them be mad. Well, I'm going to get to some riddles right now, so now they can't be too too mad. Christina. Well, if anyone's mad at this point, it's because I am delaying the riddles.

So if you are mad that the riddles aren't coming, you know where to focus, that hate. JPC. OK, so Christina says we can use her full name and that we could also address her as Captain Baby Girl or my dude. So those are all in the table. I hope you're doing well.

I've been wanting to write y'all some riddles for a long time. So these are basically like book puns. They're like bookish riddle puns. And I think you're going to enjoy these. Do you think I've got to be smart to do these? No, you don't do smart, but they're gonna enjoy these. Do you think I gotta be smart to do these? No, you don't do, you don't do smart, but they're fun. Okay, okay, these are the two things in life I hoard. It sort of like combines a book title with something else.

That's the best way to describe it. This is right in my wheelhouse. Okay. When one wizard isn't enough, a famous magical school creates a copy. Hog warts, but the pun would be. So it's the name of one of those books. So it's not like, oh, okay, I see, I see. So it's made what it's one was or is not enough? A famous magical school creates a copy.

Okay. Okay. So it's like, is this is this is like, um, Harry Potter and the Xerox of Azka Band or some shit like Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's clone? You got it! Yeah baby. Whoa! Or for all you brits Harry Potter and the Philosopher's clone? There you go.

For 13 long years he's been held captive by Will Farrell in a TV station, but now he's free and he's going to settle some debts. This is from the same series that you just mentioned from Harry Potter. Oh, okay. The whole time I was like, what book is stars Will Farrell? No. Wait, wait, wait. Will Farrell has kept Harry Potter hostage in a TV station?

Will Farrell must not go back to Hogwarts? I don't understand what's happening. Can you read this one again? Yes. Yeah, I need to give this a second. So like it's another title of a Harry Potter book. How are we to know that? That's my question.

I'm telling you that. Is it, hold on real quick, is it like Harry Potter and the prisoner of Anchorman? Yep. Okay. You got it. I didn't even have to read it again. What's the 13 years in Anchorman? No, no. The 13 years is referring to serious black. That's how long he was an askaboo. That's how long he was a Okay, all right my dude. You're on thin.

Sheep up. A group of men hobbits and more come together come together to help their friend who has gotten on the wrong side of a bee. Lord of the Stings. The Fellowship of the Blager. The Fellowship of the Sting. A ranger, a dwarf, and an elf travel the countryside in search of their lost friends and end up hold up in a mountainside fortress where everyone bathes

twice daily. Lord the Rings, the two, the two showers. Yep. After a lifetime of roaming and war of good and evil, a man finally takes back what is rightfully his flashy jewelry, just so, so much flashy jewelry. Another or the Rings one? To third.

Return of the bling. Yep. Nice. Okay, okay. You're good at this, you're right. I'm, I think I have a good brain for this, but I'm also massively confused at the beginning of each one of these. Good, I think you're definitely gonna get this one, Adel,

and I also think you're gonna like this one. Are you ready? Adel, whatever you're definitely going to get this one out of it. And I also think you're going to like this one. Are you ready? Hell yeah. Yeah. Whatever you're doing, it's working. So keep going. He's a feline of great wealth who constantly throws parties and yet something seems to be missing from his life. Felix the great cats. No. Yes. The great cats. In a world that revolves around science and efficiency, society keeps everyone in check with rigid social structures in a shit ton of MDMA Biden's America Save it for Thanksgiving

This is what's the name of that fucking book? This is what you think of the name of the book. This is 1980 pills. Is this the one where all the kids are bouncing a red ball and then one of the balls rolls away and the kid is like terrified? I don't know, I can't read. Where do you go? And there's like lights and you jogs sometimes

and you dance. The club. But a specific kind of party. A disco? Enders rave. Yeah, no, but you got the r specific kind of party. A disco. Enders rave. Yeah. No, but you got the. That's a brave new world.

Yeah. A braved, a new world. A dude uses Photoshop to make his penis seem bigger. Normal. That's just normal. Sorry. I do use his Photoshop to make his penis seem normal.

Yeah, I think I really love this one. It's funny. What book and what famous book involves a guy photoshopping? Nothing. That's the name that... Is there a book that involves a penis? Something penis? Yeah, there's a word in it.

It's about a whale. Charles Dickens, it's Moby Dick, so it would be... Show B Dick. Photoshop would be a del in it. It's about a world. Oh Moby it's Moby dick so it would be show show me dick Photoshop would be a doby dick. Yeah Hey, you fucking a doby dick mother fucker left two minutes of laughter for no reason a scientist builds a man and then he smokes the good shit Mary Shelley's Mary Shelley's frankin we Uh, uh, uh, Mary Shelley's. Mary Shelley's Frankenwee. No. Franken. Uh, whoo.

Is it? Baconstein. Ooh, that's pretty good. Dankinstein. Dankinstein. I'd like to see you see in, uh, you are Frankenstein, Frankenstein's monster, and it's day one and you two are just getting super high together. Ah, friend. Say that word.

Freyend. Freyend. Freyend. Freyend. Freyend. You know what it's fucked up? What? I made you add a dead bodies.

Oh, shut up, shut up. I don't want to think about it. And I had to touch them. I had to touch all a dead bodies. Shut up, shut up. I had to touch them. I had to touch all the dead bodies. Am I repulsive? No. Dude. Can I be honest with you? Straight up.

Straight up. You're freaking hot. You're a smoke show. Fire? No. Fire pad. No. Am I a straight fire?

Oh, yeah. yeah smoke show fire You know what we should do you know we're gonna do you know we're gonna do dude let's do it. I know we're gonna do Yeah, I don't remember what I was gonna say I can rip door off hinge. Oh We got to find you a date we do you we're gonna crush What are you? Okay, let's do some like physical stats. You're like 7... 7-2?

7-2? You look like 7-4. 540 pounds. Yeah, but it's mostly dead body weight. Hey, can we listen to Kid A? Oh, yeah. Do you mind if we listen to kid rock? That's what I meant. That's perfect. See an American family moves west to California for work but the only work available is

making curtains. Aaron I just have to say and Casey go ahead and just drop this in earlier. I just want to say sing and sweet band of all Frankenstein. And Aaron, I just want to say, John Steinbeck's The Drapes of Wrath. Nice. A small village is being terrorized by a mysterious duck who lives in a castle and seems to be out for blood. Quackula? Yes, and I would like to see a scene. Adel, you were quackula I was whacking on the question mark.

You are his victim. Okay, fuck off. Get the fuck out, fuck off. I'd hate. Try to walk to the bank. Get away from me. What? Are you trying to keep me looking at you trying to communicate with me you wet the bed oh buddy I mean don't don't worry about it don't let it be like a big thing hey show me show

me okay this is a duck pod there's a matter ofp in this. No one's ever gonna be able to tell if you pee in this pod and I'm sure all the other ducks are doing it. You know what? Are all the other ducks are they like giving you trouble? Are they like are you kind of like a nerd duck? Okay, I never do this. Oh You see my Camaro Yeah, that that bad piece of road rage. That's mine. Okay, I never do this. Okay, okay, okay. Oh, you see my Camaro? Yeah, that bad piece of road rage, that's mine. Check this out, take the keys. It's yours for the day.

What? Yeah. Go for it, man. How the time of your life? Show this to the ducks whose box. You're looking for adventure. Scene, not the Dracula scene we wanted, but the quacula scene we deserved.

I should use a normal voice. No, it was perfect. Uh, I also remember. And by the way, by the way, everyone listening, that is a normal voice. So if you have duck voice, that's your voice. No. No judgment, you're normal, okay? I'm going to get back to this list, But I'm feeling some major regret right now. So I have to go back to one of them before and ask for a scene

JBC you're the great cat's bee your cat's bee and Your you know, you know how he's like never really present at his Parties Sure, this is the night. He decided to like make a speech and come out and address everyone. So be the great cat to be making a speech at his party. Gotcha. Can I be the green light? You can. Thank you. Me? Ow. That's my soul. It hurt me now to be so distant from all of you But tonight I want to make amends and I I want to do it in a way where I

Kind of explain what my behavior has been like and hey man, we're trying a party Yeah, I know I'm on the great cats be I I'm usually all around these parties. It's, it's, it's usually, I'm usually right there with you, but tonight is, it's a little different from me, so I'm, I'm trying to make things a little different. Sure, sure, just hurry up. I'm trying to do Coke off of Billboard. Hurry. Okay.

We're all trying to do Coke. It's, I think legal at this point. Yeah, West Egg Law. Sure, it's it, everything. Ah. Look, I, I don't want look, I don't want to, I don't want to string you all around. Well, I'd be honest, I'd love to string you all around,

play with you for hours, get bored of you and then walk across the room and then run back to you and pounce. But I have something inside of me that needs to come out. And I know that I only get one shot, nine shots at a life. And so I want to stop being so dishonest with myself. I knew it was going to be hard to do this sober.

Does anyone have a bit of a nip? Anyone have a little nip? And I'm going to hand you some catnip in a champagne. Ah! H-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h a little nip. And I'm going to hand you some catnip in a champagne. Oh, baby! You see your babies? Oh, sorry about that. Oh look big stretch. Big stretch.

The world is getting way too phony, so our hero simply floats away. Catcher in the bay. Yeah, kind of. Catcher in the... Oh, wait. Sky, I thought there was only one book we're at the end of the person floats away. Modest man. Years of solitude. At the end of it, everyone just like floats up into the sky, right?

That's a shitty writing. That's just someone who doesn't know how to end their book. They've floated in the sky. Is that what happens to hold in coffee? Oldie floats away. No, it's just using the word sky. Try to find a way to use the word sky. After the death of both their parents, soda pop and his brothers. I think he shoots John linen. Is that the end of that book? He shoots John linen.

The yes, I believe he's carrying a he's carrying a copy of Mark David Chapman. After the death of both their parents, soda pop and his brothers resolved to never leave their home again. Pop guys. He's one's leave their home again. Pop guys. It's one's funny. I think I out of oil home alone. I don't know.

Soda Pop. I don't know. Tom Cruise in the movie. Oh, Pelican briefs. No, when you use a team. Oh, I know this one. Pop sales. Say the riddle again.

After the death of both their parents, Soda Pop and his brothers resolved to never leave their home again. This one might be my favorite. The insiders? Yeah. Instead of the outsiders. Stay pony golden boy. And that funny.

That's very good. Outsiders, outsiders. A pair of silly old ladies, one in Paris and one in London, watch the escalation of the French Revolution. I tell a four titties. Down and out in Paris and London. No, but you can have that title and I want a script on my desk on Monday morning. Can I hear it one more time?

A pair of silly old ladies, one in Paris and one in London, watch the escalation of the French Revolution. What's a story about France and London during the French Revolution? Le Miserable. A tale of two bitties. Yeah, you go. I want to see you see. Okay.

I said a tale of two titties and that's... You said a tale of four titties. Yeah, because there's two women. Be respectful, Aaron. Sorry. I want to see you see women. Be respectful, Aaron. Sorry. I want to see you see me. I'm actually really not sorry about that. I would never call a woman a bitty, OK?

I want to see you seeing the two of you are your smack dab in the middle of the French revolution, like as it's happening. And you're not really partaking, but you're a huge gossip. So you're like meeting up as things happen to kind of gossip about it all Did you see all of the noblemen apparently losing their heads? Is that true? I believe so I mean I have you know obviously obviously the revolutionary side of the street and I'm shutting myself up inside of my house

so I'm getting my information there, it's like a hand. Did you hear? Baguette? I vote Hauer? I'm not a spy, I'm definitely a spy. And at least are you having a stroke? No, um... Strongly busy Mm-hmm

Does it smell like a burnin' toast? Yes Yes, you're having a stroke Bonjour It's okay, it's okay We are French, there is a cure Have some wine, have a cigarette That will cure you a veil that ails you

And he goes in for me today I heard that there is a romance happening on the barricade. Two people are falling in love. Of course, of course that. We, Bonjour! How are you? I walked into the restaurant, Rudy Perry, right on the street. Usually they are popping, very busy. What do I find in there?

Empty chairs and empty tables. No one is eating in there. My guess is that one of the cooks sneezes in the fields, probably sneezes in the mesh potatoes, like they really got sick. Happy Thanksgiving to you as well. See.

Oh, you. I don't know if I told you to, I'm so sick. Happy Thanksgiving to you as well. See. Oh. I don't know if I told you to, but when Gemma and I went to Paris last month, two months ago, we told us. That's all. And the creative story. Oh, man. We landed and as we were going to our hotel, we landed at the airport, as we were going to our hotel, I was like, I wonder if we're gonna see, have you guys seen the TV show called my agent?

Oh yeah, the French TV show. Isn't credible. But I was kind of just, I was like, I wonder if as we're walking around, we'll see one of the actors from call my agent. And Jim was like, that'd be fun. And then I caught myself and I'm like, I'm a fucking idiot.

And she's like, what? I'm like, that's like going to New York and being like, I hope I see David Schwimmer. It's like, you're not gonna see fucking David Schwimmer walking around. So on our second day there, we're going to this like renowned Petisserie and as we're walking we see the guy who plays Gabriel one of the leads walk past us

Holding a big bag at and we get into the Petisserie and we're like is that Gabriel from call my agent? They're like yeah, he's here every week and we're like mother fuck. We did it. That's amazing You made a fest. It was thrilling. It was truly thrilling. We have two more. And then we'll be done. A Victorian Aeroscientist creates a machine

to help him write poetry. Is this a Jewel's Verne book? I actually don't know, Rilda. I'll look it up. It creates a machine, oh, yeah, it's a well. Oh,'ll look it up. It creates a machine, oh yeah, it's a well. Oh, it's a well. It's a well. Yeah, this is a little thing that we like to call

the rhyme zone machine. Haha. Close enough the rhyme machine. I want to say a scene. Okay. Aaron, you're Aaron Keefe and you've just invented a rhyme machine to help you with rhyming. JPC, you are the machine.

Oh, thank God. But you're getting very frustrated. Sure. Okay. Um, I have this Ryan machine. Okay. Searching memory banks. Okay.

Slow day. Rhyme, slow day. I'm feeling just okay. It's probably because it's a slow day. Ryan accepted. Great, okay. Um, what about um, searching memory banks? Come. I'm having a hard time thinking. Um, I guess to clear my head, I'll just go come. I don't love that.

Ryan accepted. Context. important. Ryan accepted. This is my new favorite game. Oh brother okay a man with terrible gas. Brother. A man with terrible gastro and how do you say it? Gastro in test and all problems. In test and all problems in test no problems goes deep into the Congo famous famous book about a man with gastrointestinal problems guerrillas in the shit girls in the pissed guerrillas in the bongo fongo it's a it's like love in a time of cholera. It's really dark book. It's there's a big old movie made about it that has kind of a different name. Batman. Oh, uh, dark night, the dark, the dark golden shower.

Uh, the scarlet letter. Hmm. Uh, heart in the heart of darkness. Yeah. But uh, in the heart of darkness, we will accept both answers because both are written down. Best, Christina Khan. Thank you, Christina. We're real quick. I want to see a scene. So this is we are going to we're going to be playing a jeopardy. You two are the final two contestants on jeopardy. You both think that the answer to the question is,

what is a shart, but you both of you don't want to say shart on national TV, okay? All right, Adel, you buzzed in. Yes, what is, what is, kind of, Adel, you need your answer? Oh yeah, six answers. What is like a little tummy trouble? Judges, can you be more specific time it's like a little tummy trouble but

like you've messed your and you look down and and what's what once was clean is now no longer getting I'm getting I'm getting four thumbs down to the judges and then one judge doing that with his hands so I we are getting a little more specific uh Aaron do you you have a chance to steal new jeopardy rule? Is to steal what the fuck at I'm sorry to watch your language on the show. We can't say we can't say the word that you just said Sorry, what is the fuck? That is incorrect. That was a great guess. Who is Shard of Darkness?

Wow That was a great guest. Who is Shard of Darkness? Wow. Well, we don't know who the Shard of Darkness is, but we thank him for protecting our city. See it. Who has something to plug? Step on it. Only Shard. I have something to plug. I recently got it on two podcasts.

The first one is called Two Bandits Watching Bluey. It's a Bluey review podcast I did a quick little segment on that so please listen to that and then I also guested on a podcast called Just Google with it GH-O-U-L Google just Google with it and They were mute they review scary movies and I reviewed one of my favorite recent movies that I think I saw with JPC I definitely saw with JPC, which was a Nicholas Cage vehicle

called Mandy. I believe you and I saw that at the Music Box in 2008. Yeah. And it was in it's one of the most visually pleasing movies of all time, but absolutely best shit bonkers. I just got started on the podcast. I would love everyone to check out. It's called Paul Giaclotti.

And it's a podcast where we just talk about Paul Giamatti's various health issues. I think you can get that wherever you find podcasts, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, whatever. Aaron, is there anything that you would like to plug? Oh my God. Whatever that was. Paul, what is it called? It's called Paul Giaclotti.

Like a black clot? Yeah, you have to listen to this show. I would like to plug a show I've been really enjoying lately, which is The Lost Kitchen. It's Aaron French. She's a chef in Freedom, Maine. And I am obsessed with the show. I just got her cookbook from my mom for my birthday.

It is, if you enjoy cooking or you're looking to be inspired, I can't stress to you how good this show is. So check it out. The last kitchen, I think it's on Discovery Plus. Fantastic. And you said she's the main French chef? Nope, I said something about her name as a married friend. Seriously, she has a restaurant that you can only get a reservation for it if you send

in a postcard, and she did it to save her local post office because it was going to shut down because she lives in such a small place. That couldn't work. It did work. Oh no. That's how many postcards she gets. And then if you win a lottery of the postcards, if your postcard gets pulled,

she cooks a meal with all fresh ingredients and she makes up the menu every week based on what the farms around her have. And she is so cool and she has failed so many times and she struggled so much. And she's getting back up. And her entire staff is women.

You have to watch the show. That's incredible. Okay. Oh, speaking of all that food reminded me, I'm going in December. I'm taking my mom on a vacation to Charleston. So if any listeners know where I should go in Charleston, please let me know.

I don't know the city I've never been. I don't know what's going on there or what I should do. Please inform me, reach out to me on Twitter or Instagram or HR podcast at jhuman.com. Remember reach out to Adel and hashtag it on all social media Charleston Chuse. So that's Charleston CHO-O-S-E Charleston Chuse. Aaron, I have a bit of a pun for you.

This is a 2015 space opera film written and directed and co-produced by the Wachowskis. Jupiter. Uh huh. A spending. That's correct? I guess it's not really a pun. It was just a straightforward name.

Have you watched Eddie Redmayne yell in that movie recently? That's the one that he's in, right? Yeah. He's like, bye forever. Yeah, he's like, bye forever. But YouTube, Eddie Redmayne, Jupiter, sending, you will laugh. Yeah, he's like, bye forever. Yeah, he's like, bye forever. But YouTube Eddie Redmond Jupiter sending you will Because he'll be like, bye forever. Yeah, that really intense moment

Jbc how's your week? I'm just gonna show over Hey there, turkeys and pies. If you like that, you're going to love this week's Patreon. Not had enough Thanksgiving yet? Well, you can join us for a Thanksgiving family dinner. You can listen to that plus our entire Batcadilog at patreon.com-hayrittle-rittle by joining the Clue Crew for $5 a month or the Review Crew for $8 a month. See you there!

Gobble, gobble. That was a Hate Gum podcast.