Hey Riddle Riddle - #176: Fanta Claus

Episode Date: December 1, 2021

Happy December, Riddiots! We are kicking off the season right with the invention of a brand new seasonal character that we are sure to forget. Not only that, but we've got an awkward interaction at a front door, an unprepared student giving a report, a cocktail at a fancy bar, an IT professional fit for a queen, the unintentional invention of an existing property, and a kid embarrassed of their parent's profession. It's the first #WiddleWednesday of December! Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fm  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. And we're gonna be right here We're gonna be right here We're gonna be right here We're gonna be right here We're gonna be right here Right here before Hey, we're gonna be right here It's the first episode in December Fa la la la la la la Hey, Red all riddle

It'll be an episode to remember Fa la la la la la Hey hey riddle riddle. It'll be an episode to remember. Follow la la la, hey riddle riddle. Go outside a brand new Lexus. What, what, what, what, oh my god. How can you afford this? You don't. Where, where, where, where, where, where, where, my dad is dead.

Can I, can I tell you guys my brilliant idea? So we have a car. I have a rap for. First of all, hi. Yeah. Thank you. Hello. We have a rap for it. I told Brian that for Christmas this year, what I'm going to do is I'm going to go buy one of those huge bows that like people like put on like new cars and I'm going to get a car washed, park it in front of our house and put a big bow on it and then take

her out to see it. Christmas morning And then just so all of our neighbors are like, wow, he got her a car. But it's just our car. They just don't see it. That is fantastic. I mean, that's the worst thing in the world for Mariah, but for everyone else, that's very good. I just agree. I think the worst thing in the world for Mariah is being with me. Everything else is just a sign of the worst choice that she's ever made. You should buy like a hunting bow and put that on top of the car.

And then when she's like, why a hunting bow you go, oh, I guess I've only seen that written. I've never seen car commercials. GPC, I guess my big question is, do you really want your neighbors to think you're rich? I Like that thing you don't want them asking you for money or I Think it's so funny up in neighbor being like hey, man. Can I have some money up your neighbor?

Yeah, I don't need to the neighborhood blah blah blah. I know that a lot of our neighbors are like weirdly like They're like peepers like when we first moved in Everybody was outside to like see who we were and like, and then I heard someone else, this is fucked up. But I heard someone else, there's a Hispanic family that lives across the street from me, across the street and like over.

And they said that when they moved in, her son was like living with him at the time when he was getting his house built. And he had his kids. And one of the neighbors walked up to them and said, how many people are gonna be living here? And it's like, none of your fucking business, motherfucker. Like as many people as I want, it's my house. So that's incredible.

That's the type of people that live in my neighborhood. So yes, I would love, like, I think that it's like only right to give the people who are like paying careful attention to who you are a little bit of a show every now and then. Oh yeah, definitely. Yeah. We made the mistake when we moved into our neighborhood of the neighbors. We didn't really introduce ourselves to the neighbors, but eventually,

Ejema was talking to them and they're like, well, let's get your contact information. So Ejema gave them her number. And now the neighbor who's like a 65 year old asshole, he will text us and be like, your branch needs to be trimmed. It's making its way into my yard and stuff like that. I'm like, I don't know if you think I'm like the nature wizard that I can like just deal with it for a few months. Like it's going to be fine. I, hell is, hell is having neighbors. Did he, in the text did he ask you to remove it magically? I'm not a nature wizard.

Yeah, nature wizard. Well, one of our neighbors did ask us they were like, are you on next door? And we were like, oh no. And they were like, well, are you on Facebook? And we were like, oh no. No, no. We're not.

Those are all. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Well, this is our first episode in December. And we do have some big exciting announcements. Aaron, well, first we should say we're wrong. I'm a baby. That's my announcement. I'm a little horse on its back that can't write itself. Yep. I'm GPC.

This is the podcast here over at all. It's the podcast about Riddles and the first episode of this thing. Now for big announcements. First announcement is Aaron is holding her first annual toys for Tater Tots. Now what you're gonna do, you're gonna send Aaron and Toy, she's gonna send you some Tater Tots. She's starting to down, yum yum yum.

And we also, this one was not reality. Oh. Aaron, how was this for charity? What did I say? I was for charity. That's what I didn't understand. Never said the word charity. Not my fault you filled in the blanks the wrong way. It's an even exchange toys for data tots. It's a trade. The other the other real piece of a big announcement is this is something that we've had requested. So if you love the show, but you don't like listening to ads now there is a solution for you starting January 1st. We are going to be releasing all of our main fee episodes, Add Free, on the Patreon.

So for our $8 a month review crew subscribers, you will now also, in addition to getting weekly bonus episodes, monthly streams, and a monthly review crew episode, you will have access to all the Add Free episodes as well. I'm O'Hellia. Going forward. Yes, not backwards.

Not backwards. There is no way to get the previous 175 episodes ad free on the Patreon without sending every one of our listeners 175 notifications at the end of the episode to listen to. It's almost like playing Super Mario 1 where as you make your way as you make your way across the board, you cannot go back. There's a wall that follows you and you can warp to a different episode, but you can't go backwards. So this is also a really good thing if you want all of your Hey-Ruddle, Riddle, nonsense on one feed, on like one little thing.

So all your episodes will be in one place if you decide to join our $8 tier. And we don't call it a feed, we call it a trough, because it's a trough for us, but it's a feed for you little piggy. Yeah, would you saddle up to the hammer to a rental trough and go to the rental trough? Oh, you know, Piggy wants its content.

Scarf it down. Ooh, a little Piggy has a fever. We have to put you down. What's that? You're more intelligent than a dog. Wow, you picked the right soccer team to win. Good little piggy. How do people still like you guys?

You're the most alienating people I've ever met. I just called all of our listeners smarter than a dog. Aaron, if I was alienating, would I have just come up in the last five seconds with the idea of Fanta Claus? A Santa Claus who only hands up Fanta and is dressed in purple robes? My audio didn't cut out. Santa Santa, don't you want to Santa Santa? That'll don't make me have fun.

I don't want to have fun today, I'll stop. This is a sneak preview of my wedding. I will be dressed as phanta Claus. Oh god. I will make Democrat. Did you cry at your wedding? Yes, but not for why you think. Well, I said that don't you want to want to send that. I could tell you the story of our wedding, but I would really be a lot of backstory about

phanta clause. Phanta clause was invented to sell Nazis Coca Cola. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Coca-Cola. Oh, no. World War II. And both wagons. Yeah, and both wagons. True history. Okay, capitalism knows no masters. Guys, let's do some riddles. Why? I wanted to ask real quickly, however everybody's week was.

Aaron? You're up first. Uh, Lou figured out how to open our cabinets and we didn't realize and she ate basically her entire bag of dog food No smart dog. Yeah, bad dog smart dog I Yeah, I went I went to the van Goghs a bit in LA and it was really cool And I think that's the only thing that happened to me this time. I'm sorry I hate to correct a woman on the show, but you go to the van wedding exhibit.

Harlan, everyone, it was laughing. She's not just staring at your side. Yeah, this time I wasn't silent. I was laughing. I go to the van when to exhibit. Because that's something. And that makes sense. And van when to is like a knockoff in Helsing? Yes, exactly.

We also went over to our friends, Ethan and Cassie's house, when we brought Lou, because Lou doesn't have a friend, and they have a dog named Roscoe. And we tried to make Lou friends with Roscoe. And it went fine, it wasn't great. But Luke doesn't have any friends and it makes us sad. Yeah, it's been a week. It's been a week. It's been a week.

It doesn't have any friends either. And whenever we've had other dogs come over, she's just spent the whole time sharking them and big dogging them and making sure they don't move. And we're like, yeah, she's kind of like a piece of shit. She can't express. Yeah. She likes people, though. She can't be impressed. Yeah. She likes people though.

All people are her friends. I was gonna say that I just got done yesterday playing a nine hour board game. Now I wanna ask you both because you're not really a board game people but maybe not nine hour board game people. When I say that I played a nine hour board game, what's your thought there?

How does that make you feel? It makes me feel excited if the game was good, and that sounds like a goddamn dream, to be with friends for nine hours and just play a good game. Was it the game where it's like everyone is a representative of a country and you have to make deals and stuff? Oh no, so it's no, this was a fantasy game. But I guess similar premise is a game called Twilight Imperium where you're all like playing the different races of this galaxy trying to control like the fate of the galaxy. Okay, I have several questions. What was the meal situation? Great question. Somebody we started at noon, someone brought over a dozen bagels and then I provided snacks and then around 5 p.m. we ordered pizza.

Okay. And how many people played? Five. It's eight. What's that? Who won? For the show, Arnie Parrott. Wow. Wow. Then I'm a big fan of this. If you were the one I would've said. Did you see the one who brought the bagels? No, he's already the one that brought the bagels. No, who brought the bagels? I will brought the bagels

Well, you know, promoov will brought those bagels here. He said a new bakery opened up at his house And he had to try it and it was it was great bagels were fantastic No, I know who will it. Sorry, JPC took to use your own tool against you will bring the bagels. I'm sorry We'll bring the bagels Bring will against you, will bring the bagels. I'm sorry, we'll bring the bagels. We'll bring the bagels. We'll bring the bagels. But yeah, it's a very fun board game. I told someone else that we did a nine-hour game

of Twilight Imperium on Twitter. Friend of me, Raf, and Raf said, a nine-hour board game, you got Twilight done a nine-hour? That's impressive. Whoa. Because it can... I told everybody to nine hour board game, you got Twilight done a nine hours, that's impressive. Whoa. Time. Because it can, I told everybody to expect 10 to 12. And to get it done an under nine,

I was, I was pretty happy about that. Do people play that across several days? Like, can you stop and start? Or do you got to do it all one sitting? Generally, it's a one sitting thing. I think, I think if you have like a crew of people that live, I don't know, like near each other, or something, or like, if I had like five roommates

and we all wanted to play, I think you could do it in a couple days, but it's too hard to coordinate like a big group of people. live, I don't know, like near each other or something, or like if I had like five roommates and we all wanted to play, I think you could do it in a couple days, but it's too hard to coordinate like a big group of people. Of course, yeah, especially during these trying times. Adults, it's called Twilight and Poryom, because you're supposed to finish in the Twilight. Exactly. You're supposed to look outside and the sun's coming up and you're like,

well, we're done. And it's called Twilight and Poryom because it's a racist of aliens. Right, I'm a store antique shop. Yeah. I don't know. What about you, anything new? What is, oh yes, I ordered. So I ordered and gave Gemma her Christmas present early because I was very concerned.

I was very concerned about shipping. Like I assume what I got her is going to be very popular around Christmas time and I was concerned that it wouldn't ship until the new year. So I bought her a Peloton. Which arrives this in the next day or two here. So I'm very excited to join the Peloton family. I texted JPC to ask for all his recommendations. Hashtag Pellow fam. He forgot his favorite trainers. I'm not part of the family.

I made up list. Aaron get on board with Peloton. I don't know how. Adel didn't ask for my favorite trainers and everyone else said, and there was a group that people were listing them off. And I was like, I realized I didn't know any of their names. I was like, I could tell you what they are. What do you got? I told girl.

And then I told them that one of my least favorite pellet touch trainers for Smart Tree Taylor Grebe. That would be... I also last night I went to, for the first time in two some years, I went to CIC to see some improv. Oh, yeah And I had an absolute blast and as so I stayed for I watched the eight o'clock and the ten o'clock shows and as I got the ten o'clock Some people wave me over and they're like are you at all? I'm like I am and then I started to like walk away because I'm there's like an awkward pause and then they're like we love

Hey riddle riddle so it's fun to see some nice listeners there So if you want if listeners everyone and go see a show in Chicago I would recommend checking out CIC. Can I make another recommendation? Please you should take classes at CIC Oh, yeah, you have to have taking classes at another improv place before that But it's the best classes I ever took and my friend Haley is teaching level one there now and she's the best improv teacher there is. So the classes at CIC theater,

if you're looking for a place to take classes. Well, I mean, I'm better. Better than Haley. I'm texting her that you said that. Okay, I'll text her first. No, I'm good luck. Good luck, I'm texting her first. I found you to comment better than Haley's.

Well, no. This talk of improv segues perfectly into our first rental. Good luck. I'm texting her first. I found you to comment better than Haley's. I don't know that this talk I've been probably say ways perfectly into our first rental. This is a riddle from Patrick Kelly Patrick rights. You can use My phone and you can use my phone and That's a cario speed wagon from purie, Illinois. Wow The hits keep coming Patrick rights Love the show. you're all awesome.

You make me miss my Chicago days back when Io was still improv Olympic and the Neo Futurists were still giving out pizza and Anderson Bell. I gotta be honest, that's before my time. You never went to see too much light makes the baby go blind? I'm sorry, but I did, but I'm talking about when Io was improv Olympic. Oh yes, that was, I think that was like makes the baby go blind? I'm sorry, but I did, but I'm talking about when

I.O. was improvellant. Oh, yes. That was, I think that was like up until the late 80s. I think that's before all of our times. Mm. But I have heard about it. I heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend who heard it from another.

You've been messing around. Great band. I used to love too much light, makes the baby go blind. I love the Neo Futurists. I would say that show all the time because I loved right by it. It's great show. And the guys who created that

went on to write your own town. Oh yeah. And then, yeah. And then famous alum of Neo Futurists, Jeffrey Kraner has been on the show. Oh, that's right. Creative Welcome to Nightville, among other podcasts. The best show I ever saw in Chicago is that the Neo-Futurist is a musical about con men.

And they kept tricking the audience, and musicians, and actors kept being planted audience members. And it was the most beautiful, cool show I've ever seen. It made me cry. It was amazing. My dream is to see a live show where I'm the only non-plant in just that is my absolute dream. I don't know.

I would be so cost and efficient that it'll never happen, but I would love to come into a show. I'm gonna plan that for one of your parties. No, nothing about it. And it just be like a plant and a shit. Oh my god. Okay, so anyway, I'm picturing you in a theater and there's just like 200 from my cut trees.

Or just like, it's like me and a hundred people, everyone else has dressed like Jake from the blues brothers. So funny. With our harmonica in hand, and you're like, they're gonna do something. Something's gonna go. And everyone's like, truly, it's just a coincidence.

Please, you're reading into this, sir. Okay, so Patrick writes, a man walks into a bank bearing an AK-47 and wearing a mask. He roughly tells the teller to empty the account and leaves. No one calls the police or even bats an eye. Why? His mask was that of a 17-year-old white boy. Can I have all the money, please? I think he's like a hunter like his mask is like

What would a what mask with a hunter? Oh, oh We're going I think wait was it Jim Kerry? Yeah, oh, so Adel the ankle you're going here is the movie the mask. Yeah, and everyone loves that guy But if Jim Kerry emptied his account, I gotta imagine that guy's rich, no way is a bank gonna have that much money on hand, right? No, who knows? How much money do you think is in a bank at any given time?

I asked very innocently, no one suspected a thing. I mean, it's probably not enough to cover like if there was a bank rush where everyone was like deposit, you know, get all my money out of the bank right now, but they probably have a pretty good amount. I have to say, I know next to nothing about this, but it fascinates me that banks carry those diapacks that are like tucked in actual money

and will explode, right? Like that's such an interesting little, like, reality that we live in that nobody talks about. Yeah. It's also funny how the only, the dipax are only security measures used on banks for money. Like, it would be funny if those dipax were used, like if you were trying to like steal a bunch of vegetables,

like it from a store, and you took a zucchini out, and they did, it's like blue. Or like dipax for clothes, like you like steal like die packs for clothes. Like you like steal like a $2,000 coat and you like try to put it on a die pack.

They kind of have those. I've been in a lot of retail places. You know, there's like tags that stand clothes that like make that sound. A lot of them had die in them. Oh, shit. If I little bit of die got on like a $2,000 coat, I would actually love that.

Like if I was walking around with a Canadian goose coat with like die of die explosion around it, people would be like, oh this asshole bought like a $2,000 coat. Oh no, look, he stole it. Okay, good. Good for him, he stole the coat. I feel like that's the equivalent of like locking up

diapers and baby food indoors. They always lock that up. Cause you know, only the worst people in the world are stealing those. They also do that with black haircare products, where they don't do it with white haircare products. Hey man, stores, huh? But that's not the answer to this riddle.

Oh my God. So Guy walks into a bank with an aching face. Aaron, I'm very genuine. Oh God. Oh God. Guy walks into a bank with an AK-47 and a mask. Demands all the money and walks out nobody panics. That was, what was it?

He roughly tells the teller to empty the account and leaves. No one calls the police or even bats and I, why? Empty the account doesn't mean take all the money. Correct. Empty the account. The words there, I reread it because, or I reread it out loud because I think the word choice is very specific to the answer to this riddle.

Hmm. Empty the account. What other types of accounts do banks have? Empty. You're just transferring it, like shutting down a certain account. That's good. So, it was not a transfer. It was actually emptying the account.

I guess it was a transfer of the money in the account to cash. But it doesn't he doesn't take the cash. He does take the cash. And a K47 that's not like that doesn't stand for like an adult kid that's 47 years old. It is okay. Now I got to see a seed. So this is going to be a seed where Aaron, you are, uh, you're coming over to my house. You're like a friend, uh, and you're coming over to my house and you've brought your AK 47 and you're just, uh, trying to make sure it's okay that you bring

your AK 47 into the house with me and it does stand for adult kid who is 47 years old. Hey, Cheryl! Welcome to take your shoes off, everybody's out in the back. Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! It is, you know, California so it's kind of like an outdoor Christmas. We're doing so. Hey, do you have any whiskey? Hey, sorry. Um, honey. Give me a second. Oh, um, I just wanted to before I come into the house make sure you are comfortable with me bringing my AK 47 and yes, I Make sure everyone feels good about it Everyone's fine because it's you know, it's open carry and and we're all okay with that everybody's pretty much armed here What is what is this? because it's open carry and we're all okay with that. Everybody's pretty much armed here.

What is this? This is my AK47. If you don't own me here, I drew separately. I can take my Dodge Durango and go home. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You and my credits ruined which is why my mom had to buy me a dodged rango This is my fault your credits ruined or your fault your credits wrote no, it's my ex wives problem. Oh my god She's an angel on earth. Oh my pants. I put my pants. Oh, she's change. She's Shut up. Oh, sorry. No, uh, so this is my mistake because we're all gun nuts here But this is too big gun nuts. I actually brought gun nuts. They're salted mix gun nuts. I'm sorry. So this is salted bullets and a little ball. Yeah, no people can't eat this though. But they're kind of fun. Yeah, I don't disagree. I mean, this is the kind of catch that we would have in our in our home. But you know

what? Welcome. Do you have any cartoons? Do I have any cartoons? Let me think of some cartoons I would like. Rocky and Bowling Cole or... We have Netflix if there's anything on there. I think we have to talk about the view.

I don't know how to use her remote. You don't have to use her remote. No, I'm just at that age where technology is a mystery. And also, just so you know, he might go off at any moment. He's kind of broken, so I can't. Oh. Bearing to, he won't go off. Can I count you, Cheryl?

What do you mean by go off in that context? You know what, let me just show you. Oh, sure. You know what? Hey, honey. You know what, the foundation of this house is pretty shitty. Uh-huh. And you have leaves.

You should hire someone. You should hire a contractor to fix the foundation. You should rake your leaves. I'm tired of these homeowners who go to care their property. Do you have property? I have to stay right here. I can really make him go off watch this. Hey, honey, remember how they made a female ghost busters?

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oh my God. That's probably maybe my favorite reactionary opinion is the people who are upset about a female ghost buzzards. Yeah, they're cool. First, they made the female ghost buzzards. People got mad or a certain selection of people got mad. Then they made the kids go spurs. It hasn't come out yet, but I hope that people get mad. And I hope next, they do a female kids go spurs.

Oh yeah. And everyone's head will explode. All the kids are girls and they're all goes buzzing. Okay, no. So that, I don't know the answer. In that scene, you did not get the answer. Nerts. So give us a little hint.

He just closes an account. He just closes his own account. Correct, Aaron. He's emptying his own account. He just closed his own account. Correct, Aaron. He's emptying his own account. That is correct. Okay. Does he work for any company or organization where carrying a gun is like expected? Like, is he a security guard at the bank? No, not necessarily. I guess he would have anything about his job, but would dictate him having a gun hunting.

Hunting? Uh, sure. I mean, he could be potentially be a hunter. about his job would dictate him. He had a gun hunting. Sure, I mean, he could be potentially be a hunter. Thanks for giving us that one. Does it matter why he needs the money? No. Give us a answer to this riddle. You want, okay, so this riddle takes place in the year 2020 time traveler.

Oh, he's just wearing a mask. takes place in the year 2020. Time traveler. Ooh. Oh, he's just wearing a mask, like a mask. Like a COVID mask. Yes, he's wearing a COVID mask. And he's gonna put all his money under his mattress because he can't trust banks with this. Yeah, the bet is gonna be a rush on the banks. It's all about Bitcoin now.

Or like Dogecoin or CheatTone. In you. Comeycoin. No, so the answer is it's 2020. It's an open carry state. So it's normal for people to have AK-47s wild. And the man is wearing a face mask because of COVID concerns. And then in parentheses, Patrick writes, he's the rare open carry advocate who supports mask

mandates. Leave your politics to the professionals, Patrick. That's not us. We don't give more to this show. Yes, he's emptied his own account. Patrick Ulster writes, don't read until after the first riddle. I was thinking this odd year is sort of a thing likely to be the stuff of riddles in the future.

And later that, I created a few 2020 based riddles that are obvious now, but Sunday, they may be stuff out of our very own blue book of hideous riddles. Very cool. So here we go. Here's a few more of these 2020 themed riddles. A social studies high school student goes to the front of the class and makes a presentation filled with lies and made up facts. The student receives an A on the project. Why? Did it with confidence? It's about misinformation. I'm going to give it to Aaron. The student is giving a report

on the 2020 post election lawsuits and QAnon. I want to see a scene. Leave it to the profession. I want to see a scene. JPC, you have to give a presentation. You did not prepare or write anything. You're just kind of making it up on the spot. Aaron, you are the teacher of the class. Your name is miss information. And you are. You are trying to kind of bite your tongue while he does this, but at some point you have to say we need to say. And everybody give a round of applause for Tommy! Good job! Let's go! Alright, and then go whenever you're ready. Thank you everyone so much, and misinformation. May I just say that jacket plus that scarf, the combo is brave. You may not say that.

Okay, withdrawn, counselor. Watch yourself. My fellow students, I thought to do a PowerPoint like everyone else has done in preparing my discussion for today, but, I thought to do a PowerPoint like everyone else has done in preparing my discussion for today, but then I thought, what would George Washington have done? Because for sure he wouldn't use a PowerPoint, obviously, he wasn't, that wasn't available to him. And then I thought about the lack of availability. Isn't that something?

Scarcity, scarcity. Let's break that word down. Scar- You didn't do it. If you didn't do it, then you can just say you didn't do it. We can get through the other presents. I did, I did, I did do it, I did do it. And I will get you. I just feel like George Washington would have done his work.

I will get to my presentation on and my topic is, and my topic is, this information I'm looking at you, my topic is just to confirm, because I know it. You know, I know, if you know it, then what's the issue here? Did there's nothing to confirm it, we just keep going. Yeah, there's just to confirm because I know it. You know, I know. If you know it, then what's the issue here? I guess you mean it. We just keep going. Yeah, there's nothing to confirm.

There's nothing to confirm. Scare city. Scare city. A scary city. What's the scariest city in the United States? I think Oklahoma City, because what are they doing there? No one ever hears about them. What are they planning?

What are they plotting? Who what kind of person lives there? Living, it's a living, that's what a bird on the Simpsons would say, about the Simpsons and the floodstones got you. Caught you slip it. Caught you. Yeah, slip it. But what are we all doing? We're toiling. We're toiling for a living. We're all trying to make living, toil out of living. Mommy, this is loop back to photosynthesis and end. Yes, it does. Because what is photosynthesis if not the process of making your own food? That's not what your presentation is on. That was okay.

Exactly, but it is a jumping off point. It is a jumping off point to what my presentation will be about. I do have to say, I do have to say, this is a little pause for my presentation. Becca? Becca? Becca? Yeah? Jeremy wants to ask you to prom. This is just a pause.

I'm sorry, misinformation. This is something that Jeremy asked me to do. I'm asking on behalf of Jeremy in front of the Hughes 2, scared to get up and do this on behalf of the entire class. Jeremy wants to ask Becca to prom Becca, what do you say? Wow. I mean, we're only in sixth grade, but I guess in three years, yes. Yeah, just think about it.

You're a cop. Yours is too soon for prom. No, that's a big lie. And Jeremy's too years older. No one is going to lunch until you at least say what your topic is. No one is allowed to leave the room until you say what your topic is.

Well, just so we know, we just brought two people together. That is love. Let's break that word down. Low and V. Now that you can do it that, right? Low V Wade. Low V Wade. The Law of the Land.

Okay, we all know it, but who is trying to reverse it? We have a 6-3 majority on the Supreme Court now, and I think Court packing is the only solution to get a liberal agenda on the court. Now, am I getting closer to my topic, misinformation, am I getting closer to my topic? No. Wrong.

I've all been, I guess, in that old name. That was supposed to be a book report on the tale of two cities. Oh, damn. Oh, that's okay. That makes more sense. As you mentioned, George Washington, I had a little thought of this motherfucker went

into a boat and crossed a river, and we still know about it hundreds of years later, and there's paintings of it. Well, he was president. Yeah. He wasn't just some guy. Not at the time. I wish I could just get in the boat, and then people talked about it for centuries. He didn't even grow the boat. He didn't even row the boat.

And the penny there's a bunch of other people rowing. This lady's not a proper. We're still talking about the time that Barack Obama wore that brown suit, huh? Yeah. If mom jeans moved. Did George Washington skip a stone across the Delaware or did he put a silver dollar or something? Isn't there something there?

He like, I don't know. He had some. I thought that he was. He did. Correct. I thought he was was, he did. Correct. I thought he was taking the Hessians across the Delaware. Mm-hmm.

Wasn't that it? He was like bringing all the Hessians there to fight the British. And Hessians are German mercenaries. Mm. See, you could have done a real report. Yeah. Unbelievable.

Unbelievable. Okay, yeah, so that was a report about Q and on. Okay, here was the next one from Patrick. a report about you know that he was the next one uh... from patrick wait you know that fifteen percent of americans believe that you know that is true and real and has merit air and i think that storm is coming air and i sent you that text and confidence

sorry that crazy i was i made i'm ignorant i thought if i were to have gas that would have guessed like six or seven percent it's fifteen percent what are we gonna do? What's wild? I think like, if you had told someone, if you had told someone like 2018, like what QAnon was,

I feel like most people would be like, what the fuck are you talking about? But now and like, now you can say QAnon and people are like, oh yeah, most definitely. I know what that is, like that's. So weird. There's 25,000 different news outlets. Each one with their own agenda

Nobody is leaving their house nobody talks to each other except to post articles and links to articles So I I can understand how we got here. Yeah, it's hey, it all makes sense None of it makes sense but it all makes sense. This is a very disillusioned episode We're doing what is the world? Oh, we have to call this user disillusion You know what we need to do is, I think we need to like log off, we need to touch grass, we need to get back into the real world. So let's do that real quick, and let's listen to some advertisement. Okay, and I'll lead us in a breathing meditation.

Okay. Breathe. Breathe. I'm talking about to do. Breathe, breathe! This act! We'll be right back. Hey, GPC. Uh, uh, yeah.

You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Attle. And I'm setting up a whole website to prank him. Okay. Um, I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. and I'm setting up a website to print them. Okay. Okay. And I just need to have my advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not mad at you. We're pranking app. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stay in doubt and to

see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website. It gays with your audience and so let me think for products to cut into time all in one place all on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here, come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him.

Do you have anything that like is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Um, wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing nothing I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website not a prank thing new He's gonna shoot you and I'm gonna use analytics use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from

That's pretty cool I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords are popular products and content on my Prank website to prank site too. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. The website was for.

Prank. With Squarespace. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party Tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey, JPC, hey JPC. What's up, battle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her.

Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey Aaron. Hey Aaron. Can we go's back. She's back. Hey, Erin. Hey, Erin. Can we go to grandma's house?

Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adel and JPC. Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an impasse. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, they're never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, have they're never truly is a middle of the woods. No, this is the middle.

Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually. So, as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Because sometimes Aaron in life

were faced with tough choices, and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career, relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you ow ow. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. And better help is entirely online. So it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years and it suits the way that my brain works, way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy

just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods. Isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking

them up and eating them. Dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelpHELP.com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the middle of D-D-C. Space in Bellator JPC. Hope you get home. Bye, am home. Who are we? What is this?

I clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday, and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Money. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Uh-huh.

Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, cling, cling, cling, cling. I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Kling, cling, cling. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off over three million.

Oh, clink clink clink. Over three million people have used rocket money saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rock. Stop clink clink. Stop. No, clink clink. Stop.

Throwing your money away, cancel unwanted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. Rocketmoney.com slash riddle, and tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money, the website.

I love your rocket money. I like my car. I like my car. Hey, break the brick. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. In fairness, after that, Adel did tell us to exhale, exhale, exhale, exhale, exhale.

So we did, we got all that breath, breathe. That was in our lungs out. And so we are, I think it actually did help that and like I say When I say breathe that is the completion of inhaling and exhaling that's what I meant by breathe. Oh my god Okay, well, hey, we're learning We're all learning all right. We're gonna make sure the second half of this episode is just Escapism we're not gonna talk about any of the pain in the world that's happening. You're in a faraway land where there's only happiness and riddles. Aaron, you just gave me the best idea of the year, which is the three of us need to open up

in escapism room. What it is, is you go into a room, it's just super pleasant, there's no TVs, there's no wifi, there's no cell service, there's a nice little couch, there's a little buffet, and a sunday table, make your own little sunday, eat your little cell service, there's a nice little couch, there's a little buffet and a Sunday table, make your own little Sunday, eat your little brains out, and in one hour, you can get out. And there is, there are things in the room, it's not gonna be like a boring,

stuff happens like in an escape room. But it's like stuff that's like kind of a, like at one point you might think that you hear someone having sex, like somewhere else, and then you're like, everyone be quiet, do you hear someone having sex, like somewhere else, and then you're like, everyone's be quiet. Do you hear someone having sex? And then you're like, no.

Is that a couple having a fight? I think a fight or a having sex? And so you have stuff to talk about. Yeah. Right, it's not nothing, but it's not an amazing talk. There's external stimuli, but it is all like stuff like that where it's not information. You have to sort of suss out what's going on. And there's a little, there is just like an escape room.

There are puzzles. Oh, yeah. So next to the of suss out what's going on. And there's a little, there is just like an escape room. There are puzzles. Oh, the next to the buffet, it'll say, are you hungry? And then you have to answer that by either eating food or not eating. So you get to solve that by either eating or not eating. I would love a room like that. And when you say there are puzzles, there are like boxes that say like a thousand pieces or something like that, but you're only in there for an hour. And the boxes are empty. Just to see how many people open the box. Because if you're in a room for an hour, the boxes are empty just to see how many people open the box.

Because if you're in a room for an hour, are you really going to try to start a thousand piece puzzle? You are. If you think you can finish a thousand piece puzzle in an hour, you're a sociopath. So this is also, it's not only an escapeism room, it's a sociopath test. Some of our worst ideas happen in our morning recordings. Do you guys know that? Anytime we have to record before noon.

Aaron, you said best of luck. I was going to ask Adel because he said, this is my best idea of the year and I said, maybe it's only December 1st. You still have like 30 days of good ideas in the pipe. That's not even the best idea this episode. Fanta clause was. You're right. Don't you want to send this?

Every litigate Fac laws on this episode. So instead we'll do this. A young woman wakes up in her hotel room, makes coffee and proceeds to a restaurant three miles away. She's arrested and sentenced to four months in jail. Why? Coffee murder. Coffee murder.

Coffee was looking for coffee murder. D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d. Fanta baby. I was ruined by brain with that fucking little ditty. I heard everywhere. Yeah, I have to say. No, hang yourself. No, hang out. Thank you, buddy. She didn't pay for the hotel.

She murdered someone in the hotel. Yeah, the coffee, like I said, is her liquefied boyfriend. I like my coffee, like I like my boyfriend's liquefied. Huh. Addle, love that for a t-shirt. I'm, no, there's nothing about this as a murder. There's no murder involved here. Okay, she didn't pay for the hotel.

She did pay for the hotel. But she was selling a motel. I'll read it again. A young woman wakes up in her hotel room, makes coffee and proceeds to a restaurant three miles away. She has a residence in Sephora, months in jail. Why? I will say this is based on a real story.

Tail light was out. Oh, that's a good call. No, let's, I think it doesn't matter if she is drove on the sidewalk driving or anything. I don't think it has anything to do with driving. So it's no traffic violation. I don't believe it's a, it's not anything to do with a traffic violation. It's not even I don't believe. I'll just go ahead and say it's not. It's not that. Is that something to do with the restaurant? Was she a pre-cog and she wasn't supposed to wake up?

Pre-cog and so get you pregnant Aaron you said a restaurant has something to do with the restaurant Yeah, there's something to do with where she was going um oh she went to a Denny's and if you go legally if you go to Denny's You're an idiot and you get arrested. It's terrible food. You can sit up to four months of jail for you to get Denny's No, it doesn't have anything to do with what restaurant she went to. It's the act of going to the restaurant that got her arrested. Act of going. It was not open. No, the restaurant was open.

And this, sorry, is this another one of the 2020 riddles? Unfortunately, it is. Oh, she didn't wear a mask in. Close, but not it doesn't it's a little more stringent than not wearing a mask. She was wearing pants or shoes and she says she didn't get service. In 2020, there were so many people that were like, oh, wear my mask, but I will not wear pants. So the 2020 thing. Yes. I don't know. Okay. So the 2020 thing. Yes. I don't know.

Okay. These are hard. Can I get a hit? Yeah, yeah. This woman is from the US, but she is not currently in the US. British, she's driving on the wrong side of the road. Do you have anything to do with driving? Oh, what's it like?

What's it like? She went for breakfast and she ordered baked beans. Okay. Which is what the English do, and it's the weird. Yeah, it's weird to have a, you know what the English do. And it's the weird. Yeah, it's weird to have a, you know what? It's not. I've been having baked beans for breakfast for the last like a month. And it is good.

But with toast, it is good. It is with toast. It is good. She didn't have, is it like a vaccine thing? No, this is, I think this maybe was a pre-vaccine. This email came in. I do think this maybe was pre-vaccines. This email came in. I do think just to defend Aaron and I, I will say to try and think back to last year

and unpack all the awfulness is very hard to be like so much has happened and it's all such a terrible experience. It is hard to kind of parse through and be like what were all the things that people did again? I love the idea of defending yourself when you're not big attacked Do you hear him Aaron? Did you hear him? There's that tone in his voice

To to be clear that is what is called getting defensive and that's something that I think that a lot of people really look forward to Where are my pearls clutch clutch? I don't know okay, so I will say I, I can give you the answer on this one. So, this woman traveled to a nation with stringent quarantine requirements for international travelers. And she left her hotel room before completing her required quarantine period. Oh, yes. Okay.

And it says this was based on a real story. Search came in island, teen, and COVID. And I will say Patrick once again Leave the politics to the professionals. I'm talking Joe Biden Joe mentioned a lot of you're putting these are the people that handle that kind of things A baseball player hits three home runs to win a ballgame in the final at bat aside from his teammates There's no cheering or celebrating to be heard why A player hit three home runs in his final at bat. A player hits three a three run home run. Sorry. Big three run home run to win a ballgame

at the final at bat. It's COVID. Yeah, of course, the answer is it's COVID, and they were playing baseball and Ipti stadiums for a while for COVID restrictions. Patrick says, you'll be, you'll be vindicated to hear this. Patrick says, I can see all of these riddles suck. Some of them are also pretty political, so you're welcome for that. But coming up with them was a fun exercise

and I thought you could do much better. Patrick, are Kelly, we thank you for your. I thought that was really cool. I don't like that we think are Kelly, but yeah, Patrick said you can use my phone name and then included the middle initial of our Patrick, our Kelly. And I gotta say Patrick, drop the R. You don't need to be throwing that around. So drop the R so that'd be Patrick. I want you just to say my name is Patek Arkele.

Give me some riddles. I need them. That hold on. That is, that is a first. Aaron is hungry for riddles. I actually need them for a thing. So I need them for a thing. So it's a thing.

Tell us your dad and I will give you it if he tells what it's for. It's for another rental podcast. No. On upstairs, young lady. No. Aren't you? You're not even my real dad. Slam. I'm your co-host. That's just as close. It sort of is. We kind of all feel like each other's dads. I definitely feel that. This morning when JPC texted and he goes, everybody ready to record in 15 minutes. I simply said a sentence, a picture of me in bed because I had woken up two minutes earlier. So it did feel like my mom being like, sweetie, you gotta go to school and I'm like, no. We live very different lives.

I'm shocked I ever went to school. We have a listener here that says, listener from India here, they didn't include their name, but then they crossed it out and wrote Susie, which I think is very fun. So this listener from India here, this is Susie, this podcast has brought me unparalleled joy over the last week.

Thank you for the Puzzies and Redies, and also for the much needed laughs during a rough patch with the SO. Well, this is from 2018. So I hope that rough patch with an S.O. turned out to be a better relationship. Now, what does that mean? A better relationship.

That doesn't mean that you broke up. It just means that your relationship was better. And I hope that this Siamese Otter brings you as much choice you deserve. Mm-hmm. It's double the Ot auto, double the fun. Here's the riddle. And a certain kingdom, this is a long one,

so bear with me. Okay, I'm ready. And a certain kingdom, the natural law of the land is that only, is that the only antidote to a poison is a stronger poison. For example, if poison X is stronger than poison Y, then ingesting Y followed by X will leave you in the clear. Does that make sense? So, the only X is stronger than poison Y, then ingesting Y, followed by X, will leave you in the clear. Does that make sense? So the only antidote to a poison isn't even

stronger poison. So if you take a poison, you have to drink a stronger one and that's the antidote. Got it. Cool. Okay. So the king orders his scribe and royal chemist to have the following contest. The scribe chemist. The scribe and the chemist must each concoct the strongest poison they know. They then exchange poisons, take a sip of the others poison, and then a sip of their own. Clearly, whoever has the strongest poison will survive. The night before the contest, the scribe realizes that he has no chance of creating a stronger poison than the chemist,

so he comes up with a plan of action that will allow him to survive. At the same time, the chemist also realizes that the scribe can never really create a stronger poison than the chemist. The chemist anticipates the scribe's plan and comes up with a plan of his own. The next morning, the chemist in the scribe exchanged poisons exactly as planned, the scribe dies and the chemist lives, but the king does not get what he wants. Remember, the king is trying to get the strongest poison, and that's what the king wants. What was the scribe's plan? What was the chemist's plan? So that's the riddle. I got it.

Aaron, I can't wait to hear this answer. So confident. So the scribe was like, I know what to do. We'll switch the order in which we take them. And then the chemist goes, he's gonna ask to switch the order. I'll let that happen. So I'm gonna create a weaker poison than what he would create. And then the king at the end of the day goes,

I don't even have the strongest poison. Now I just have the weakest one you would come up with. I love that answer, but the answer to this riddle does not involve switching the rules. So the rules are going to be the same. They drink. Well, then I have to tab out because I can't. I can't go back in there, man. I can't go back in there.

Get me out of here. So the chemist, the chemist knew he couldn't be beat. So what he did was he, instead of poison, he just poured the scribe, a tall glass of RC cola. Everyone knows RC cola is poison. There's no coming back from drinking that. And the scribe died. Yeah, the scribe was like, I'll make my thing not poison at all.

What's the... And the listener is from India. Do you think they have RC Cola? Yeah, it's probably. It's probably international. Absolutely. Yeah, is it royal crown and royal crown that's fitting for the kingdom?

Is it that the chemist did not put any poison in the cup so that when the scribe drank his antidote, quote unquote, he was just drinking original poison. A original poison. I love that. No, I just love the concept. We're all born with it.

We're all born with it. Do you have that poison, but we have Pepsi. Pepsi work. We don't have poison products. So I want to see you here. So Erad, you're going to be a bartender, Adel and I, our customers at the bar. I mean, it's one of these like, you know, real fancy like cocktail, like craft cocktail lounges.

And the menu only has one item. It's $11 and it's called Original Poison. Hey, gentlemen, welcome in. What can I get you? A menu would be great. Yeah. And a smile. Yeah. I'm not with him.

I'm not with him. Get out. I know he looks like my brother, but I'm not with him. No smile is a cocktail Smiles in it or in shoes and whiskey. No, it's not get out Orch's using whiskey. Why would you order that? I panic I panic What part did you panic hold on let me if I buy the entire bar drink, can I stay? You know, how about you just drink this? Okay, original, original, pass on. Is pass on, is that like a French le Corne? Yeah.

You sure? I see what's happening. This is my brother, and I think I have to let it happen because of what just happened. Okay. My tongue is numb. My feet are tingling. Ooh, what's my heart doing? This is fun.

My heart's doing a backflip. Nope, it's shutting down. And what can I get you? Uh, you're number? Get out! I'll have the poison. Okay, here we go. Let's see.

I'm a bad guy. I just... I'll die. I want to see another scene. I'm unprecedented. Back to back scenes. I just want to see a quick scene. Royal chemist is very funny to me.

I'm sure there were royal chemists, but it just seemed so modern day. So I want to see Aaron you are queen of the realm JPC is your royal IT guy and he's come to your kingdom to fix your your router issues or whatever IT problems you're having So I tried turning it off and then turning it back on again and that didn't nothing The internet's also very weak when I go to the bathroom. It's just a big thing about that as well. My queen. Of course I do not.

I do not. Your decree is sacrosexed and I believe it wholeheartedly. A lot of times when people say they turned it off and turned it on again. They know that that's what I want to hear. I'm just going to do it one time for myself, just to make sure. No, don't insult me, it's not unplugged. I turned it off and then turn it back on again. I did, I actually did it. I'm not being lazy. My leges, I recommend the geek squad out front. We have them ready if you are willing to send this gentleman to a stocks.

them ready if you are willing to send this gentleman to stocks. Melis, I don't want to interrupt. That's the most warm-toned looking motherfucker I've ever seen in my life. Ooh, slick, slick, oily, black snake. My side kick, my right hand man. I'm your side kick. I'm saying your right hand man is named rat snake. That's not even worse than a warm-tug. Oh please. He's great.

Oh, he's a black wig. I gotta say wig that I have ever seen. And my face is upside down. My eyes are where chins are and my chins at the top. When he whispers into your ear, his tug is going fully into your ear. You feel that right? Yes. Oh boy. I would never lead me astray. Why would he? Look, I never do this. Do you mind if I hit him in the forehead with a stick? I think that might fix the computer issue and maybe some of your personal issues.

No offense, but lady, you look old as shit. See. Get out. Hahahaha. Worm tongue. Worm tongue is that guy's name. That sucks. Yeah. If you named Whirm tongue you gotta go like oh god I gotta be gross. Can you name it? Whirm tongue and not turning out evil? Yeah. Well.

Come on. Yeah that's sucked. That is sucked. I'm Ryan Whirm tongue and I'm the only used car dealer in the state that gives you state minimum prices. I'm Ryan Whirm tongue and I just want to get you in a vehicle. I got a hint for you guys. Do you want to hear a hint? Wait, we have a riddle. We didn't solve the poison one. It wasn't that he didn't put any poison in his cup.

Wouldn't that, isn't that an answer? That is an answer. So who's, is that an answer for the scribe or the chemist? If the chemist puts like water in a cup and the scribe drinks water and then drinks a stronger poison, that's just going to kill him, right? And so and the king's piss because he's like, I have water, but I don't have poison. Yes. So the chemist, it involves the chemist anticipating what the scribe was going to do. So I think you got what the chemist did, so you can extrapolate what the scribe was going to do as well, correct?

The scribe also had water. Yes, so the scribe thought, the chemist is going to make the strongest poison possible. So I'm going to drink, oh well, this is the part that you didn't get, but I'm going to drink a poison beforehand and then fill my bottle with water. Then the chemist is going to give me his strong poison. I'm going to drink it. It'll neutralize the poison that I already drank, but he's going to drink water, so it won't neutralize his poison. Well, the chemist says, of course, the scribe's not going to be able to drink a striker of poison. So I'm also gonna put water in mine and not drink poison. So the scribe drinks poison beforehand,

they both exchange sips of water, the scribe dies, and the king gets water as his strong poison. I'm gonna go ahead and say, this is top five riddles of all time for me. This is a fantastic riddle. Yeah, I love, I love, love, love that riddle. I think that that's great. No man.

Come on the bench, let's frame my ankle in this riddle. I think that that's great. No man. Come on the bench. Let's frame my ankle in this riddle. So I'm on the bench and waiting over here. Am I sitting my ankle? I guess it is very rare that we get a riddle that does not, that is very complicated, but does not involve any math. And that one did not involve any math. Thank you to Susie Santaran.

This is from Susie. Yes. Susie from India. Thank you Susie. Yes. Thank you so much. Susie and I. This is from Susie, yes. Susie from India. Thank you, Susie. Yes, thank you so much, Susie. And I got to say, with all these emails from 2018, hope you're still listening to the show. OK, you have both been very good.

So I want to give you some little, I think these riddles here are kind of a treat. And they're coming at the end of the episode today. So here's a little treat for you. These next riddles are from Nova, they dim pronouns, and they say, you can, what they say, yes, you can use my name. You can use my, it really works better

with you can use my full name. You can use my full name. Yeah, anyway, thanks for trying Nova. Ha ha ha. I can't trust this enough. This is not their fall. They've been listening for a while now that thought that sent in some riddles. They got them from an old book they found called Laugh Autronic Monster Jokes. These are going to be good. I can't wait to cover of this book.

I'm ready. Okay, so here we go. What do you call Bigfoot in a bathtub? Bigfoot in a bathtub. Lafetronic monster jokes. Yeah, not yet. He clean a Not yet. He clean I'm clean, but I'm not yety clean Abominable Tubman What do you call a big foot in a bathtub? Dinnig? This way, I love your pun brain is firing this one. I gotta tell you not a pun what?

Not yeah, I know Unfucking believable. It's set up like a pun in the title of the book. I mean, that's as pun as it gets. I'm empty bathtub. I think that you will agree when you hear the answer to this that it fits perfectly with the theme of the book, but it's just not a pun. It's the other way that you could go with this riddle. Okay.

We'll see what we know. What do we know about Bigfoot? Big feet, rarely seen. If they are, they're blurry. Sure. And they're always in the pose of like the Abbey Road cover. Yeah, I mean, what else? More about like kind of like physical, like hairy, very hairy. Sure. Oh, you get a clogged drain. No, that again, that's very good. If very hairy is the thing that you're focusing on, but what else about big foot? Oh, it's overflowing is the thing that you're focusing on. But what else about big? Oh, it's overflowing.

Too much water. Big is very huge dick. Big. Thank you, Aaron. Big doesn't necessarily mean huge dick. Big foot is very big. Who's defensive? What do you call big foot in a bathtub? A big foot. Bath. The answer is stuck. Oh, it's like a Howard Taft situation. Yes, exactly. Yeah, this is, this is. William Taft, what did I say? Howard Taft. William Howard Taft.

William Howard Taft. I think you got, I think you called that motherfucker by his middle name, which, how he actualized it. I call it how he. Sort of familiarity. We were family friends, he's how he to me. Okay, why couldn't the werewolf run in the marathon? Uh, because it was in the fullness. Run in the marathon.

Now, it was during as during the day. Yeah. No, that is, that is not correct. Uh, this one, I guess is more, is more like, um, word play. Oh, is it, are, is a puns or not? I would not call this a pun. No, he there's no cars driving in front of them. That's very funny. So is this like a five K is this like something to do with how long the marathon is? It has nothing to do with how long the marathon is. It has everything to do with the fact that this is a wearable. And I see a little situation where it's like, you know, it's like airbud except they do have very stringent rules.

There's not there is something in the rules to say where rules can run. Yeah. Why? Because because they are not humans. Aaron, yes, yes, they're not humans. And another way to say that is they are not a member of the human race. Human race. Marathon.

Marathon. Wow. He couldn't run to the marathon because he was it part of the human race. I was gonna go with that. Um, it feels a little exclusionary. Okay, that's, that's correct. I want to see a quick scene.

That's correct. That's correct. You are giving an interview. Aaron, you're applying to work at a hotel. Aaron, you're a, where Wolf, you're disclosing thatosing that. And then Adel, that's putting you in a tricky situation because you can't have a werewolf working at the hotel. Sure. But technically, you don't want to be discriminating against this werewolf. Welcome. Just have a seat over there. If you don't mind, I'm going to scooch my chair back here.

Hey, sorry, I just have a here about 30 feet. Okay. Hate to do that. Sorry. I just have a. So are you okay? Yeah, just a little nervous. I just want to go water in a bowl. Sorry. Alex, you told yourself you give this one. It's fine. It's fine. It's okay. I understand that people are sometimes. Yes. So why do you want to work at days in? I would like to Um, yes, why do you want to work at days in? I would like to sometimes when people are traveling, they're traveling alone, people might not know where they are. Sorry, I'm sorry. Um, sorry, I'm just just circulating.

I'm not slashing it your throat. I'm just talking with my hands. Um, I just, there's a large concentration of people who maybe not everyone's keeping track of, so it's a great place to hunt for food. I also feel really passionate about hospitality. I love giving people my full attention. I love a customer service job. I like trying to make a vacation special for people.

I also, once a month, I'm going to eat as many people as I can at the hotel. And would you be, this is just hypothetical, would you be eating them while they're staying here or after they check out? Oh, both. I also love that you have healthcare. Great benefits. Do you work clothes? Is that a rude question? Can you wear clothes? I can wear a little bell hop hat, I think.

Fuck, I didn't want to do this. You're hired. Yay! Wow! I ate up. Can we talk about the schedule? I can't work more, means. Yay!

Monster hotel, it's a monster hotel. Count me in. It's the entrance to hell! It's a Monster Hotel! Count me in! It's the entrance to Hell! It's a Monster Hotel! Bunch of monsters are working at the hotel! It's a workplace comedy, but they're monsters! And it's a hotel! Alright, mommy, not toilet paper!

Can I smoke in the room? Fire! We gotta make monster hotel. Yeah. Monster hotel. It's a monster hotel. I got a question. What is hotel Transylvania?

Do we just do this? Is that a thing that our audience is just... You guys keep it, you clean up with an original idea and it's always just hotel Transylvania. Yeah. Wait, do you want to... Why does this keep happening? And when I played in a adult kid 47,

that was just Billy Madison. That was the fourth time that's happened this year. We're like, we have a great idea for a movie and it's just being hotel-tale-tale-tale. We owe out of the game. I'm gonna get out of this. We gotta get out of this, we gotta get out of this, Clay. So what do you call a skeleton with a broom?

Addle, turn the pun brain back on. Skeleton with a broom would be a janitor. Pun brain, not a janitor. Janobone? It's something with the word bone. Uh, no. It is nothing with the word bone. What do you call a skeleton with a broom?

Uh, okay. Yes. A clean sweep. You call it a... Sweepy... I'm spooky witch. I'm gonna change the word skeleton here because I think that that might be confusing you. Okay. What do you call the personification of death with a broom? Reaper sweeper Reaper sweeper the grim the grim sweeper sweeper I like to see a scene. Well, he's.

Um, uh, GPC, you're a kid who just threw up in class, but the janitor at this school is the Grim Sweeper. And so you're too scared to tell the teacher that you threw up, because you don't want to see the Grim Sweeper. Okay. So what do we know about George Washington? He crossed the Delaware. Now while he was doing that, he was confused. He didn't know where he was. And a lot of his... Confident.

Confident. Oh, did you have a question? Oh, no. Me? Yeah, Jimmy, do you have a question? Oh, no. Did you have a question for me? I. Did you have a question? For me? I can, yeah.

How are you doing today? I'm good. I thought you made a weird noise. I was just checking in on you. I made it weird noise, yeah. I think a pipe is leaking. Oh. There's a puddle on my desk.

Oh, no. Let's take a look here. Oh. No. Don't need a look. Just a call. There's a call. Oh Weird who's been putting fries and fish fillet chewed up in the pipes

It might be a sewer pipe. This might be poop. Oh, I've never seen green poop Jimmy I'm gonna head to the Vinnie machines staying class Sam so cold in here Jimmy I'm gonna head to the Vinnie machine's staying class Sam So cold in here Sorry, I left my microphone plugged in let me God it's so embarrassing my dad work at this school God, it's so embarrassing to have my dad work at this school. Now, we just clean it up and go. It's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about.

No, it's embarrassing because all the other kids at the cafeteria can eat food, but we can't. We can't process it so it all comes up. Don't worry. Aren't you happy that you read a normal school with a normal kids? I thought you were happy here. I don't think that the concept of normal is something that you should be reinforcing at me. I'm sorry. Why am I not normal? Just the way I am. Are you embarrassed by me? Yes, Dad, your uniform is too big. Why can't you ask for a smaller size?

It's like you look like you're a cropped plush. So funny. Monser hotel, it's a top-outer domain. We even have a thing that already exists. Look, we can't stick around much longer and invent things that already exist. So I gotta say, we have to just transition into something much easier for us to create original content for, and that already exist. So I gotta say, we have to just transition into something much easier for us to create

original content for it and that is plugs. So I'll ask you, Addle, is there anything that you have to plug? Check out our patreon patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle. I can't stress enough, there's a lot of cool content over there. There's some dumb content as well,

but there's a lot of good content as well, so check it out. And I get stressed enough that starting January 1st, ad free episodes are gonna be there at the $8 tier. So that's something to stress. Oh, wait, I saw your text. It says, addle free episodes. We'll talk about that offline, Aaron, we won't.

We'll talk about that in the end. Yeah, for sure. We'll never, never gonna come up. Aaron, anything to plug? Yeah, White Bus has a show in L.A. on December 16th? And if you want to know the age and not the age, the day, I'm out of my depth here, the day. That must stay it. No, no, no, no, I have to keep that part in. No, no, no, the day, if you want to know the day and the time, it is, it's going to be on my Instagram, so check that out.

What ages your show? We sold out tickets like a week beforehand last time, so if you want tickets, grab them now. Woo-law-lu. Woo-law-loo. Woo-la-loo. Joby-sale-la, everything to plug for you. Hey, nothing that I have to plug, but one thing that I did want to mention, this is not a plug for myself,

but we have had a sponsorship relationship with the brand HelloFresh for quite some time. HelloFresh workers are trying to unionize. They have asked their employer for a union and in typical bullshit fashion, that employer has hired a union busting firm to come in and give captive audience presentations, penalize people for starting a union to moat people without reason, and just generally do all the things that are pretty much illegal to do under the NLO or B, but they do them anyway. So we are discontinuing our relationship with Heller Fresh. Union Busting is disgusting, and today on December 1st, there is a large contingent of Heller

Fresh workers in California. I believe they're biggest bargaining block, and their union vote is coming up on the 15th. So please, please, please do what you can to support workers seeking better working conditions. And in general, think about where you get your shit. I know it's kind of like weird and performative to take that connection to be like, I'm not going to support this thing. But honestly, that's the only power that we have. So short of you being a billionaire venture capitalist who is like, oh, yeah, maybe I should

change things, but it's probably not going to happen. So feel free to vote with your dollars a little bit and support the businesses that are doing good into ethical things. And that's the end of my little soapbox plugs. And I hope that at the end of the episode, some people didn't listen to it, namely our advertisers.

What do you mean that's the only power we have? Not me, a nature wizard. Look, I can create anything in the world. Aaron, look, I just made this bush. What kind of bush would you say this is? Yikes. Oh. Oh. I did that to you because I'm a bully.

How embarrassing. I'm a bully. I'm so sorry. I'm just glad this motherfucker didn't show up as fair to clause. Like we all thought he would. Wanna send a message to Wanna? I'm just glad I'm just glad this motherfucker didn't show up his fair to clause like we all thought he would I don't I think you're doing great and I'm really sorry that I Yeah, I was trying to say you have to say juniper. I thought that might be fun Now it's too late My forever we'll just say my first Hey there Rockham's and Sockham's, if you like that you are going to love this week's Cobra Dome!

Hey there Rockums and Sockums! If you like that you are going to love this week's Patreon. Just in time for the holiday season, it's a toy review! You can listen to that plus our entire Bat Catalog by joining the Clue Crew for 5$ a month or the Review Crew for 8$ a month at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle. And coming January 1st, at free episodes at the Review Crew tier. See you there!