Hey Riddle Riddle - #181: Happy Clue Year!

Episode Date: January 5, 2022

Happy Clue Year all you Riddiots! We're thrilled to start 2022 and have this episode as PROOF we still 'love' riddles! In this episode we have tips for a job interview, a heated scene between two numbers, an idiotic ring bearer, parts of a clock trying to bury the past and the world's longest Home Run! Toss back some champagne, surpress your real pain and escape for an hour with Hey Riddle Riddle! #WiddleWednesday Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. I'm gonna be riding I'm gonna be riding I'm gonna be riding I'm gonna be riding I'm gonna be riding I'm gonna be riding I'm gonna be riding I'm gonna be riding I'm gonna be riding I'm gonna be riding

I'm gonna be riding I'm gonna be riding I'm gonna be riding I'm gonna be riding see sit down please. God, you shoved my face up. Fucking Xerox, what the fuck? Scanning face and laugh, Aaron Keith sit down please. Ow. She had a face scanner. Why did I get shoved in the fucking Xerox machine? Which do these exist anymore?

Aero you just used it of course. I'm so glad that you two found the new studio. Isn't it wild that it's 2022 and we have all this new technology? Try it, whatever you want and it's I can make it happen. Uh, room. Give me a daiquiri. Making daiquiri virgin. WOOOOOO! Uh, room. Give me a spot on daiquiri. Spot on that shepherd impression We I think you pronounce it wrong pretty much

I got a question why do we need all this like the security to get in here is wild we had to jump over a moat filled with sharks Oh, yeah, they don't be jump ah fuck I told them alligators. Is anybody hurt? No, I'm fine. I don't know why I couldn't use the bridge. They said that the bridge is for paying guests and I had to jump. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I thought to monetize visiting the studio because it's so technologically advanced because it's just, I felt like we should just spend some of our money to upgrade because again, it's 222 and technology is limitless. Addle. Yeah? I love you. Mm.

This is insane. Okay. Well, you're speaking to a hologram of Addle, just so you know. Oh, please. I'm still asleep. The truth comes out. I'm still asleep. I thought I would make it my goal to sleep through all of 2022, because I can't do it.

My body will let me. You are the rib bandwinkle of the Chicago improv scene. You're that limitless pill if it was a limited pill. Thank you so much. All right, hologram. Are we ready to do an episode or what? Oh shit, the ho- I'm supposed to host the hologram. Yeah. Tell me you program the hologram to host. Scanning code. Scanning code. Stop shoving by face at the fucking ear, I don't have any code. Scanning code. I can't help you.

Scanning code. I was giving some dignity at least, at least I'd have scanned his butt. Oh, scanning butt, scanning butt. Okay, this is more defeating. I don't know how, but this is way more defeating. The only thing I've panced me. Dacquery is ready to insert into your butt.

No, no, no. Ooh, you know what? Not bad, this is Virgin, right? Yeah. Yeah, not anymore. Oh, God. You're still funny. I'm the hologram of Adoreify. I'm the hologram of Adoreify.

I am JPC. And I'm a Virgin Dackery. What's up? And this is the first Hey Riddle of the New Year! Congratulations, everybody. We did it. We made it. We made it. Do you know what? I didn't think it could possibly exist.

The best thing about every new year is that it's a new opportunity to have the worst year of your life. Yeah. 2021 was the worst year of my life. 2021 was somehow the worst year of my life. And 2022 can very well was the worst year of my life 2021 was somehow the worst year of my life and 2022 Can very well be the worst year of my life. Hey men. I love it Yeah, well, I think it's all about mindset. Are we okay? No, Aaron we're not

My heart. He said yeah, he muttered it into his channel like you and then I was 2021 was also the worst year of my life, but maybe I shouldn't say anything. I don't know if I need to file on We're doing okay. We're doing all right We're all gonna listen to is your way all go crazy. Well, here's the thing, all we have to do, all we have to do is put on a brave space, a brave space, a brave space. A brave space, a brave space, and a smile for an hour a week.

Honestly, like 55 minutes plus ads, and we can't do it. No look, I'm smiling right now. Can you hear it in my voice? Aaron, you drew a smile on to your face. Mm-hmm. No look, I'm smiling right now. Can you hear it in my voice? Aaron, you drew a smile on to your face. Uh-huh. Why so serious? Is that from something?

Oh no, Aaron. How was everyone's holiday? Good. Good. I know we're recording this before the New Year, so just lie. I might. Just what you want to have happened over the holiday. Hold on. oh no, no, no, no, I can do something. It was cold.

There you go. And we got our first snow in Chicago or no. You're gonna go for a snow. We already had our first snow. We had it in October, I think. Yeah, all right, come down. I'm gonna be in Chicago. What?

For Christmas. And I'm gonna watch Chicago. Yeah, I'm gonna be in Christmas in Chicago. What? Um, for Christmas. Um, and I'm gonna watch Chicago. Yeah, I'm gonna be in Christmas in Chicago. Is that uh, Cushions, well, Sean's parents are in the suburbs. Yeah, they're in the suburbs, but it's just in the city. So we're gonna go stay with the sister and then go to the suburbs. Does it? Does it? Who's sister to live at your old apartment? She does. And it's, it's much cleaner and better

with her there. While you're there, are you gonna try and act like you on the place? Yeah, when we, I stayed there for our Haverd over the live show and I was like, this is weird. I can't, I don't really feel like I can put my feet up anymore. You went to try and sleep in the main bedroom and she's like, what the fuck? Or that she was like, airing your sleeping directly on of me. I'm I was like oh, there's a person in this bed. Yeah, that's wild. That that is such I can't I don't even know what to compare that to in my own life experience. That's such a it's such a weird thing to do to go spend the night in your old apartment. Yeah, it's really strange, but it was a great holiday and you know what I'm putting this out there?

I won Sean's family's Fuzball competition. No, it was my year and I won. Aaron, not a chance. No, no, some of them are professional level good at Fuzball, but I manage with a little bit of heart and a lot of work. I managed to pull out a win this year at everyone cheered. Okay. Adel, do you want to make something fucking heroic that you did for Christmas? Yeah, both my cats died. Don't do that. I do not like those jokes.

I'm banning those jokes in 2020. Wait, wait, wait, wait, Eric, can I tell you about something? Look, I love my dog to death, but can I tell you about a joke that me and Maria have been doing around the house? We think it would be so funny if people were like, how's spaghetti and we're like, she was killed. And that did not give any more and follow up information. No.

You can't speak that into the universe. Not she died or not, just she was killed. I like how you're saying it, like it's a thorn in your side. Oh, don't get me started. She was killed. How are your dogs? Can you believe it? She was killed. I like how you're saying it like it's a thorn in your side. Oh, don't get me started. She was killed. How are your dogs? Can you believe it? She was killed.

We'll never understand it. Unbelievable. No, I had a wonderful holiday. All my dreams came true. I got every present I wanted. And the new year, you all know that New Year's Eve to me is the ban of my existence. It's the worst holiday ever. It's my favorite holiday.

Let's chat. It's the worst holiday ever. It's my favorite holiday. It's the worst. All anybody does is try and figure out where like the best place to be is and therefore everybody misses out on being at the best place. Wow. That's my dream wedding as I wanna get married in a New Year's Eve.

Because how excited would you be if you had a wedding that night? You'd be like, great, I have somewhere I gotta be. I'm gonna dress up, I'm gonna laugh, dance. I do think that that would give that day purpose to me and then I would be excited. So I do agree with that actually. Adel, from now on you're spending New Year's Eve with me.

Wow. Okay. I'm great at that holiday. I make it not sad. Aaron just party hops all night and Adel has the fucking worst. I never introduce you to anyone. I just immediately start talking to my friends. You're sort of just there.

Like this, like, yeah, I'm sure Sean will be thrilled when there's a romantic dinner for three. No, you got it. So I'm sorry, so Jim was not doing anything for a few years. Jim, it works every New Year's Eve. Oh, yeah, that's true. Addle, come on. Well, hey, Addle, you used to work every New Year's Eve, right?

Would you do the New Year's Eve show? I used to do the World News to work every New Year's Eve, right? Would you do the New Year's Eve show? I used to do the World News Tonight show on New Year's Eve because I never had a significant other in town, so I would just do the show. Well, saying in Prophs Show New Year's Eve was fun. Did you say sad real quick? No, man. I thought you said sad.

No, man. I heard you. You're both engaged now. You'll never be sad again. Come on. I never be sad again. Come on. I'm gonna cry again. I know, for real. I didn't know you'd in like, New Year's.

Come on, come be with me. We'll go to Tiki bars. Aaron, don't threaten this, because I'll take you up on it. I know, and technically the past is the future, and the days of future past. I'm sorry. The winter soldier.

You gotta come to New Year's. If you wanna come to see a'm sorry. The winter soldier. Uh oh. You gotta come to New Year's. If you wanna come to see you again. That should be a new tradition. Every New Year's Eve, everybody dresses up with a metal arm. Jips, you had a good idea with the tin foil around the arm. Oh yeah. You were gonna say, winter, I can't remember.

What was the, what was the putt on that though? I can't remember. I forget. Winter solstice. Sean and I have an inside joke. If I like pretend like all of a sudden understand a movie halfway through we go Wow, he really was a winter soldier Just well faking it till you make it. I'm glad we all have the perfect holidays

I'm glad we all have the best start ever to the New Year's of 2022 but really breaking into it Legally, we still have to do riddles, even though it is 2022, and we thought we thought riddles would be absolutely- I'm sorry, where? We thought riddles would be obsolete, we thought when we started this podcast, riddles would no longer exist in 2022, but unfortunately they do,

so we do have to continue to do them. I think that riddles in a way are like fossil fuels, and that we all know that we shouldn't be using them, but we can't stop, because that's the whole economy is based on this. And there are millions of gallons of riddles underneath Saudi Arabia. Yeah, and all dinosaurs used to be riddles.

And most words are fought over riddles. Uh-huh, yep, yes. And high school, I was wearing a no blood for riddles shirt. High school, uh-huh, yeah. And Britain calls them petros. Hi, school. And Britain calls them petros. My favorite low rider is by band called riddles. No.

OK, I wanted to say something about riddles. So I met a woman named Kat. She came to my wet bus improv show. OK, I understood. I guess everything. Right, great. So I met Kat and I asked her how she found Hey Riddle Riddle because I'm always just interested in like,

how the heck did you find Hey Riddle Riddle? And she said, she likes riddles and she Googled Riddle podcast. Whoa. And found us that way. And I went, I've only had a couple of people ever tell me that and it breaks my damn heart every time Because they waddled up to our show going this is gonna be a riddle and puzzle podcast

Instead it's three demons I don't think watered up to me is the compliment you meant it to me I feel like Aaron Aaron only knows one word for walking in its bottle Everyone wants to Yeah, the other day I saw her hit the top of the taxi cab and say, hey, I'm waddling him here. Exactly. We've got all of that.

Exactly. And I really just, I want to send my condolences and love for the people who got sucked into our show truly thinking and searching out a riddle and puzzle and brain teaser. Terrible, just terrible. Can you believe that's heartbreaking? Oh, a similar anecdote actually, Erin, this is wild. I met a cat named Woman and the cat said, I got to near, I got to close.

It is like that. And very similar. You made it that cat space. Similar antid to JPC and Erin, please drink this because the daiquiri that you drink is poison. Oh, well, JPC put his up his butt this because the, uh, Dacry that you drink is poison. Oh, Oh, did you see put his up his butt? So,

so they ended up up the same way. Uh, sure. Two at the bush. One of the stone. You have an anal bush. Wait, we have to move on. So this is for Kat. We're gonna start doing some riddles.

Kat, these are different. This is just for you. Nobody else. Uh, Sir Bales, please turn this episode off. Here we go, here's a warm up, Riddle. Oh yeah. I thought we were gonna be doing New Year's predictions.

Hmm. I mean, didn't we do New Year's predictions last year? Might've been on the Patreon. Those are different people. That's not. That's not a website, Shay Rennel Riddle. I guess, I guess find the difference there. What a little Hansel leading a little breadcrumb trail

to a Patreon plug. Okay, here's our first. This is a warm up riddle. What is special about these words? Job, polish, herb. What is special about these words? They're all polyurethics. You said them. Oh, it's beautiful. Come spend years with me, pal. They're all, they're all euphemisms for sex, hand job, hand polish, hand herb job. Herb job. I've got some questions. Aaron, you've never put cilantro and rosemary in somebody's. It's what? In somebody's what? Hello? Into it, onto it, whatever. Put cinnamon sugar on my tits and let's go for a ride everybody. What?

Oh, it's cool thought stuff. What? What's up? Aaron, we can't start the year off by making a t-shirt. Okay. We can't make a brand new shirt at the very first episode of the year. I decided I'm not censoring myself anymore. Put, hold on.

Let me see if I have this right. Put cinnamon sugar on my tits and let's go for a ride. Yeah, then I said everybody. Well, that's what I'm saying to every Uber driver that I come across. Are you, Adel? Let's start. Let's go for a ride. Urb.

That's our passenger, Adel, Revive. Urb, job. Urb, job and hand. Polish. Polish or Polish? job and hand? Polish. Polish or Polish? Sorry, Polish. Polish. Job, Polish and Herb.

What is special about these words? Something to do with the dictionary of a word they come after in the dictionary. Uh, no, but that's a very good guess. Is it sausage, Polish sausage, herb sausage, and a sausage job? Uh, you're getting closer. Is there one word that fits with all three of these words? Is that what they have in common type of thing? No, they don't kind of connect with each other,

except for in one regard, but it's not like a word that goes before after them. It's not what it goes before after them, but they are connected. Job, polish, herb. Does he order so about these words? Nope. I don't know what that goes before after them, but they are chipped. Paulish herb. Does he order about these words? Nope.

Is it matter like who created them or where they're from? Like is it like trivia about the origin of those words? Nope. Job. Paul's in the middle. I'm starting to really lose my patience here. I'm trying to be nice by guessing, but I need the answer now. It's really sweet, but I feel like I'm being really nice,

but I'm... I wanna see a scene. Oh! I wanna see a scene, so JPC, you work for some company and you're doing a job interview with Erin. Erin, you think that you're absolutely nailing this job interview, but for some reason, you're not getting the job offer and you're starting to really lose your patience even

though you are putting on this really polite facade. That's a great answer. Thanks so much. You're welcome. The next one is, I mean, obviously kind of more of a formality, but can you tell me about a time in your work experience that you had to make a brave decision. Ooh, um, I guess the time I went into my job and the day before I accidentally, um, everyone in my work had heard me complain about the job.

Oh, wow. And I had sent out a mass email by accident calling everyone an idiot. And then I had specific insults about everyone in the office. And then I came in the next day with my head held high knowing that everyone hated me. So when do I start, I guess.

So I'm sorry. So it was the email went out accidentally but you had prewritten insults about everyone that you worked it was the email went out accidentally, but you had pre-written insults about everyone that you worked with and the email. Yeah, so I was sending an email to myself. That's how I do, that's how I blow off steam. And instead, I emailed it to the entire company. So I wonder if I can get a desk by a window

or if I could start today. Well, I mean, in terms of salary requirements, now we are, you know, we're open to having a conversation about this. Yeah, I have to be paid in money. How much do you get paid? Well, yeah, that's what I was gonna bring up because your salary requirements,

you just did $8, I don't know if eight was eight in arbitrary number or were you looking for eight figures? Well, sure, but I just want money. And if I could be kept paid and cash today. Okay. See. Did you get it? Did you get the job?

Like a Python's job, Aaron truly unhinged. Go to a job interview and ask him to get paid out that day. So how much is this hour of my time worth? Oh my God, you know what they should fucking pay for it. Yeah, I agree. For being interviewed. What is special about these words? Job, polish, herb.

And I'll give you hints. I accidentally spoiled it by saying something earlier. Don't make me think. That's not a hint. These are all toppings for like hamburger or a... Can I get a burger with some jab and some marlish? Nacho. It's not like what the words mean, right? Um, in a way it is. The meaning, their meaning can possibly change. Huh. Oh, they all have the letter B in them.

Uh, excuse me. P, I mean, P. My dad is a Middle Eastern. And he, so English is a second language. And he cannot, I don't know if this is like the universal with Middle Eastern folk or just him specifically, but he can't really say the word B and my mom's name is Patty, so he would always as a kid he'd be like Batty, Batty, and he would get like a can of Bepsy, like it was very weird and unique. Oh, so he couldn't say the word P. He said P's as B's. Yes. So I don't know if that's like a thing of like an Arabic. There's no, there's no P sound or something. I don't know. That's interesting. Yeah. But it always stuck with me that he couldn't say my mom's name.

I'm going to get the work. He could, but just in his own way. Or maybe he was just calling her baddy. Job polish herb. I would like a hint. Yeah, I don't know. I'll give you a hint. Let's see here Springfield Sacramento I want to say I want to say why are you saying cities? Austin? I want to say what do you want to say Austin? Tell me why you want to say Austin

I Think I think be struggling to think of certain cities should also be a hint. These aren't these aren't capitals. Are they well? No, those are capitals. Those are capitals. So we're not talking about cities though. We're talking about these three words job polish herb and With polish I already kind of ruined the answer Polished yeah So how did we get from polish to polish? I already kind of ruined the answer. Polish. Yeah. So how did we get from polish to polish?

I'm thinking along the lines of Sacramento and Austin and Spirifu. Capitalizing all of these changes, what they mean. Yeah, stinging, dinging, they are pronounced differently when the first letters capitalize. Job becomes Job, polish becomes Polish, and Urb becomes Herb. Well, then fine. What?

Excuse me? Then fine, okay. Okay. Aaron, why are you so mad? She's white. It's pod classed off of me. Get off of me. Aaron, this thing will never come off.

Your whole life you will always have been on a favorite road. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. If you spell your name, J.O. I'm just gonna say, I'm just gonna say, if you spell your name, J.O.B, my man, your name's Job. Your name's Job. If you spell your name, H.E.R.B, your name is...

What if Job, what if Job is from the Bible? Yeah, well in Ezekiel for 25, they, let me get to hand Job. Get it off me, ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill ill Is this like an hourglass? Um, in a way. Oh, good. I rest my case. And it's not Kate Winslet and Titanic. Turn me on my side and I am everything. Cut me in the half and I am nothing.

What am I? Hourglass is not far off, but it's not a... Is it an object? Um... Is it time? It's more of an idea. It was... It was... Love. When it's on an idea. It was in a way.

When it's on its side, it does have to deal with time to some degree. Turn me on my side and I am everything. Cut me in half and I am nothing. What? M-I. A car. Aaron Keith, come on down.

You just want a brand new car. Poison. I've started to think of it. Is it like me sleeping because side sleep? The best sleep of my life. Me cutting half worst night of sleep I've ever had. When it. Is it like me sleeping because side sleep never sleep in my life. Me cutting half worst night of sleep I've ever had. When I sleep on my side, it is everything. Oh yeah, when that magician cut you in half

and you're like, I can't sleep a wink. I don't know if I'm ever gonna see my feet again. I'm actually a little known fact in the GPC. The brains are in the feet. Oh. We love to do a magic school bus tour of your body. Like, like, shrink down and then go through your nose and just see where everything is. And the magic school bus of my body, they're like a lot of empty space in here. And your hearts and your throat.

Can I make a guess? Blatter in the head? Blatter instead of brain. Blatter where the brain is. Seeming in the ears. Blatter where the brain is. Seeming production. So testies in the ears. Yes.

Testies, testies. Is this thing on? Turn me on my side. I am everything. Cut me in half. I am nothing. What am I? So think about.

Is it a word? Uh, yes. In terms of um, is it a word? Yes. In terms of it, there's an award, there's a word for this idea. Oh, okay. So think about everything. What's another term for everything? Oh, um, oh, is it a, uh, uh, a circle or a whole, uh, you're on the right, uh, turn me a circle, a zero, like turn me on my side and I have nothing. Zero is part of the answer, technically. A hundred. And then cut me in half and I'm what?

A hundred. I am nothing. So cut me in half and I'm nothing. Your right zero is nothing. So you're right, you're on the very good track right there. So think about a zero. That's part of the answer. Oh, eight, eight, eight, eight.

You remember going to hot to top? Infinity. If you turn me on my side, I'm everything. The infinity symbol, cut me in half. I'm nothing zero. I really... I would like to see a scene. And you can pick whatever personalities they have.

JPC, you're the number eight. And Adel, you're the number nine. And you guys are just talking Holy shit. Yeah, oh my god. I know you thought that seven eight me. I thought seven eight you Yeah, I didn't I got away you got away. Yeah, oh my I'm sorry man I know I took I took off but I thought you had a fuck up our whole lives You've been you've been sort of a shield between us and then you just fucking scrambled away So he had you yeah, he had you okay, you get it. I'm sorry. Are you holding hold this against me? You know what I am

You wouldn't have done the same hold you hold on hold on what you wouldn't do the same fucking thing You would if I if seven had me not like he's gonna get me, he had me. You wouldn't have done the same fucking thing. I wouldn't have been. He hears burning. Oh, Jesus. You better run. Quick.

Five. Four. Five's here. Well, quick flip me over. Use me like a golf club. Beat the shit out of this seven. Let's do this, nine. Shhh.

Oh, or a shotgun. Yeah, it looks like a shotgun. I'd never golfed. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 5 6 10 oh no what happened here what we doing scenes matters What we're doing here is important oh god 6 10 it keeps happening Okay, here's we're gonna do one more warm-up riddle no matter how little or how much you use me you change me every month. What am I? A calendar shower head damn Aaron it is a calendar Well, no, I know that Marie calendars. Nope. I was just thinking that I got my 2022 calendar today

And I'm wondering if they're sold out I get a specific calendar every year and I forgot to buy mine I use my entire life. I get a specific calendar every year and I forgot to buy mine. I use my entire life. I've used like daily planners like the spiral kind of notebook daily plan I think. I've never had a maybe as a kid I had one but as an adult I've never had like an actual wall calendar. Is that you actually have a wall calendar? I have a wall calendar and my mom has the same one and then we always talk about like hey what are you doing of the art on this month's? And by art you mean the sexy fireman? For what? I was gonna say, no.

I get a calendar, it's the same calendar, yet every year and it's just a, it's every month is a different burned out building that could have been saved if a hunky fireman was there instead of taking a fucking picture. For a calendar. That'd be so good. Hold on, hold on.

That's a good idea, right? Yeah, the photo shoot, yeah, the day of the photo idea, right? Yeah, that's a real high-end. Yeah, the day of the photo shoot, there's just like 400 arson's just running loose. Do I have enough time to make this calendar before this episode comes out? No. No.

Will I Google it? Has someone already had this idea? And done it better? Yes. Two nights ago, I had a dream and I know I'm going to regret it, knitting this. Oh, amen. This isn't that kind of friendship.

Whatever you thought this was, you're no. I need to unlock this on someone. Two nights ago I had a dream that I became like a superhero. I think it's because I had tickets to go see Spider-Man tonight. Okay, so I had a dream that I was like a superhero who had like flight and strength and everything. Basically like Superman. But in the city, there was no villain.

So I just like did nothing. And there was a part where it's like, I caught a robber or something and hit him. And I don't think they died or anything. But I remember people were like, what are you doing? I'm like, there's nothing for me to fight. And they're like, stay in your lane. So I thought that was a very funny thing of like, what if there's like a like, there's nothing for me to fight. And you're like, stay in your lane. So I thought that was a very funny thing of like, what if there's like a Superman

and there's just like nothing for him to do? I don't really sleepy town. He's just not being on people's door. He's like, hey. Because typically right when somebody becomes a superhero, there's also a villain who's like beginning, just starting to like work their evil. Equal reaction.

Yeah. So I told you I had a roommate once and it was like it was like new news playing video games and he fell out of his chair and he started laughing and I was like what why did you why are you laughing? And he was like he told me that he had had a dream last night that he could teleport and he woke up thinking it was real but didn't use it until he wanted to go get some cereal like four hours after waiting up I've been trying to teleport in That's insane pretty great well speaking of teleportion

Well speaking of teleportation We're gonna teleport to some advertisements right now and we'll be right back with more riddles Hey GPC Yeah, you're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm Prinking at all and I'm setting up a website to bring him. Um, I just need to have advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online. Whether you're just starting

out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, it gages with your audience, and so anything for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Addle, come here, come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC, and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store, like it set up on my website to sell products?

Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch, you can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you, saving you time and money.

What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna shoot you. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool.

I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords or popular products and content on my prank website to prank the tool. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. The website was for. Prank.

With Squarespace. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, battle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine head to squarespace.com for a free trial And when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back. She's back. Hey, Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adeland JPC. Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here.

I am sort of at an empath. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, have there never truly is a middle of the woods? No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it.

Adel, can you help? Yeah, actually. as per Robert Frost I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s But it still stands true today more than ever Aaron you should try better help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm-hmm Because sometimes Aaron in life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear Whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods,

therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow, sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Hmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years

and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about?

All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Mmm, dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today

to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp. H-E-L-P.com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the United States. I'm Hope you get home. Bye, baby.

I am home. Who are we? What is this? Klingling, Kling. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday. And we're all so excited to talk about him.

But I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Bunny. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Huh? Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps you

lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, uh, sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you and for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Clean, clean, Clint. Mm-hmm. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and

also get alerted if anything looks off over three million. Oh, Clint, Clint, Clint. Over three million people have used rocket money saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rock and roll. Stop, Clint, Clint, Clint. Stop. No, Clint, stop, no, click, click, click, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwirted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rockatmoney.com slash riddle.

That's rockatmoney.com slash riddle. Rockatmoney.com slash riddle. And tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website And we'll back in was oven oh Grand Fromenade hold on a microphone to Xerox guy Oh, yeah, the gram from a maid hold on and then the phone to zero x guy No, jbc I might be somewhat of a sentimental gentleman, but I believe we're all suvin now

Yeah, not a dream last night. I'd love to tell you about a great detail. Oh, like it some on the phone No, I didn't break it it broke And the he was a bc Did you want to put down the phone and join in and the Southern charm? What do you mean? It's fun. You can track what kind of scale's for on it. I, no, that, first of all, how do you know it's my ass? Oh, this PK on Bertels, the Lutus Sholes. Okay, so you do the GPS.

I know the same thing. And it was all over that. Hey, Aaron, I think, I think JPC's going to, $1,200. This is bad. Wow, that's an expensive prom dress. Good luck, buddy. I don't know.

Yeah, I would say no. Set badries. Wait, thank you. Anyways, all right. I had to help that guy. I had to help that guy. He was telling me about his daughter once an expensive prom dress.

But I don't know. I mean, just like, yeah, she could work for it, right? 1200 for a prom dress is way too overrides. That's a lot. You only want one dress. How many times do you go where a prom dress? Once. Once. Well, I mean, you could probably go to multiple proms. Well, a lot. You only want to learn more. How many times you're gonna wear a prime dress? Once. Once.

Well, I mean, you could probably go to multiple proms. Well, once, but a bunch if you do an improv Christmas show every year in your 20s. Excuse me. And then you wear your prime dress every year for that. JPC, did you want to be Southern for a little bit or were done with that? Sorry, I was on the phone with Azure Oxkey.

What were we doing? Beardles. Okay, but why? Because we're out of ideas. Okay, I hung up the Xerox call for this. I mean, I could have helped that guy with the prod dress. It doesn't matter. Sorry guys, I'm not mad. I'm not mad.

I'm just a friend. How much should you spend on a prod dress? Well, I feel like the most, most, most you should be spending is 200. Wait, what? Oh, okay. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. She didn't get a summer job.

Well, then I don't know. Maybe like 90. Hey, well, did you want to get off the floor? I want to eat some boiled peanuts. He's your host. What? Okay, okay. We're hanging up there for all of the food.

Hold on, hold on. Hold on, I'm getting a call. There's no, what is this? What? Okay, okay, we're hanging up there from somebody holding hold on hold on. I'm getting a call. There's no what is this? What? Wait, I think you have the wrong number. What are you saying you're gonna do what to me? Dude Dude, is this a joke knock it off? This isn't fun. Oh, oh my god. It's Liam Neeson. He says I have his daughter I sort of got Oh my god, it's Liam Neeson. He says I have his daughter. I swear to God. And I want to get off the phone.

I swear to God, I didn't get to have his daughter. It was Liam Neeson, not the character he put now. Your father said he's coming for me. He's got money. Like that's the scariest thing of all. Well, let's try and get through some episodes. So we have some banked in case of that. In case the inevitable happens. Okay, so let's get and get through some episodes so we have some banked in case of that case.

Okay, the inevitable happens. Okay, so let's get back to riddles here. How can eight plus eight equal four? How can eight plus eight equal four? Yep. Hmm. Hmm. No.

Okay. And I'm surprised this riddle exists in this new world where came here. Sir, I'm not a gon. Yes. So it's not E-I-G-H-T. It's A-T-E. So each one of those eight and eight three letters.

But if we use numerology A equals one, T equals 13, E equals seven, 21. So 21 times two is 42 divided by six is four. So I'll give it to you. Great. Wow. Just because I don't want to deal with that. Well, okay.

Is it like one negative or something, but that doesn't make any sense, because that would be zero. Yeah, there's no negative going on. How can eight plus eight equals four? So it is eight and eight, and it is four, but in terms of the idea of numbers, but there's another layer to this.

So think about where numbers are used and how. I think this is something you said earlier that was a wrong answer for a previous riddle, but it's correct here. 8 plus 8 is 4. And this is EIG HD, like the number 8 plus the number 8 equals the number 4, is that right? There you go. So how is it? I am a clock. Oh yeah, because it's clocked 12. So it's eight o'clock plus eight hours before.

Yes. When you think in terms of time, 8 a.m. plus eight hours equals 4 o'clock. Interesting, assuming you don't cross the tide zone. I wanna see a scene. Aaron, you are the hour hand. GPC, you are the minute hand. And, GBC, you are the minute hand, um, and you are, uh, X's and you exist on the same clock.

Slow down. What do you mean slow down, okay? Slow down. I cannot keep up. I haven't seen you, and I haven't seen you in like fucking years. It feels like years since I've seen you. It's been like an hour, okay. Okay. It's been like an hour, okay.

How, you look well? You look tall. Thank you. How's second hand? That was just a flying. Answer the question. That was, so it was a flying. I mean, it's a question.

How long were you seeing anyone? Yeah, I've been Trying my best to reach one of the numbers, but I'm very short as you know, but I'm happy I live I love being single and I like love Just I just want to just I thought I know everybody knows suffans bad news. stay away from seven. Oh, I heard that seven's pretty good at sex, while I was, stay away from seven. Hey, so you guys did a bit? Oh, hi, second hand, how are you?

Don't do that, don't do that, second hand. No, because it's, it's fucking insincere. Whatever. Because you know that we had a thing, don't do it. Okay, I'm sorry, I moved so slow. And you move fast, and you want an exciting life, life where you do a lot and you go out a lot and you do so much and I'm sorry that I take my time. Okay, see you in an hour. I'm thinking about um...

What? I'm thinking about going digital. What? Yeah, I mean this whole thing, this rigmarole, me in secondhand, me and you, I mean, it's just like, what is this? What is any of this? Maybe I just go digital and it just fucking put it all the bed, you know? This is for the high that we all get when we're all at 12. Twice a day, we ride that high, it's amazing. I fucking hated that 12, okay.

Hey, see you all in a bit. Hi, I'm a see you. a bit. I am a see you Okay, we did just have sex. Oh my god Sloppy second hands Sloppy second hands There's a song in there somewhere Let's do another riddle what fastens two people yet touches only one What fastens two people yet touches only one. What fastens two people yet touches only Juan. Unbellical Corm. That's a good guess, but I believe on Bellical Corm, I'm not a doctor, but I believe

on Bellical Corms touch both parties. What? Touches the plus and the plus and the plus. That's nothing. Herding's a girl, herding's a ring. Um, okay, so this is a reddle, correct? This is a riddle. You have to tell me if it's a riddle. Legally. Legally it's a riddle. What fastens two people yet?

Touch is only one. It fastens two people. Wedding. Wedding. Engagement ring. Engagement ring. Yes! it's a wedding ring. Wow. Pretty good. Yeah, I did it. I would like to see a scene. That's kind of gross. I don't love that. Um, uh, JPC, you are the best man, and you're, uh, Adel, you were the ring bearer bearer and JPC you're making sure the ring bear doesn't fuck anything up up before the ceremony

You really want him to do a good job, okay? Listen you little fucking shit. I don't care who's nephew you are. No, you shut your fucking mouth. Stop shaking me. I won't I'm not paint Look I worked at sears for 30 years. I know how to shake a page. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm... Yeah, it's fucking bullshit. What happened to that company at all with the other trade? Bridegroom? You better not... What's that?

Was it Bridegroom or Liderside? Bridegroom. Come see the bride. Oh, it was Bridegroom. Yeah. Okay. How do you remember that? How old are you?

Uh, 14, sir. I've seen the commercials on YouTube. Okay, good. That's it. And there's it. I've seen the commercials on YouTube. Okay good That's it and there's a TikTok going around where people dance to that Hold on what really wait they do a dance to the Sears jingle. Can you show me? Yeah Come see the brighter side of sears. That's my dance. Huh? That's my dance. There's a TikTok of my dance Yeah, hold on. Let me check my phone. Oh my god. Yeah, my this is going viral Frosty lick 69 made it made it up and it's gone viral. Oh god. I bet I can get on Fallon

I bet I can get on Fallon Holy shit, okay, I gotta get out of here. Who's that one? Jimmy Holland, Joe's I Can get on Joe's I Can get on Joe's hold on I gotta get out of here. Okay, you have to cover for me. Okay, your new job. You're the best, man. No, I'm famous now.

I'm famous, it doesn't matter, I gotta get out of this wedding. This wedding's gonna hold me down, I can't be tied to this. Colin jokes might be my friend. He might need a friend. What a him and scarjo talk about oh that's amazing oh my god it's down why is whoever you're talking to laughing every three seconds? Oh, it's that okay, yeah

Just put the bottle down Just put the bottle down man. Just walk away He is a drinking problem. Oh, whoops. I'm getting a ring here. Yeah, okay very funny. You put the rig of your hair ring here. Okay very funny put the regga in your ear. It fell in. It fell in. Uh oh. Uh oh. Alright we're starting. We're starting. Oh I feel it in my throat. Are those two things connected?

Oh no. Oh this feels awful. That depends. Do you have a regular body or a JPC body? I- what? Can shoving you down the aisle? Don't call me. don't call me that. Don't call me that. Okay, I tried to keep track of the ring. Get a magnet, get a bit strong.

Don't magnet. Don't mouth off to the priest. If the priest puts a call, you don't, okay, I'll get a magnet. You just chill. Now drop it in my ear. Okay, going down. It got it. Did you connect the magnet to a string?

Okay, first of all, you gotta tell me if you want more than just a magnet. Fuck, fuck, fuck. This is real, I've really both swallowed the spider to catch the fly. That was a situation, huh? Now, what attracts a magnet? And don't say another magnet.

Sexory lady magnet? Yes, magnet and a dress. Put lipstick on a magnet. Put lipstick on a magnet. Put lipstick on a magnet. All right, so I have your X-ray here. And I gotta tell you, this is a real swallow the fly situation. I'm sorry, doctor.

I mean Ray, me and Ray broke up three months ago. It is inappropriate for you to call Ray up here and bring him into the... You didn't change your emergency contact. Ha ha ha. Right? You had to love that. You think I like being here?

I got your ex Ray here. Hahaha. I got you like, but- I got to give Asher Pearlman a text and how to make that in New York or- Oh, yeah, there you go. Oh. Um, were we in the middle of it?

No, we've solved that one. I don't know. Yeah, I mean, a ring. Yeah, that's a, I mean, were we in the middle though? I mean, yeah, maybe. Yeah, I mean, a ring. Yeah, that's a, I mean, were we in the middle though? I mean, yeah, maybe. Yeah, I think we solved it. So here's, here's something I want to ask you to, I trust you to, uh, you're my wedding party. Don't. If, if I walk down the aisle to, uh, monster mash, is that going to be disruptive? To who? It's your wedding. It's a graveyard smash. I love you, too. Yeah, it's a graveyard smash. It's your wedding. It's a graveyard smash. I knew it loved you too. Yeah, it's a graveyard smash. It's so important to me to have friends who

Set me up to fail miserably. Hey, Adam. I'm gonna look so hot at your wedding. No one's gonna be looking at you anyhow Aaron are you gonna wear are you wearing like a dang-kitten pantsuit? I am How was that was wedding he did the mesh? He did the mesh. He did the monster mesh. Was it a graveyard smash? No, everyone hated it. Yeah, I don't know.

I've seen graveyard smash here. Okay, let's get into some more riddles here, purely for cat. What kind of running means walking? What kind of running means walking? When you're running for president. Okay. Okay, Eric, can you explain? No. Please, Eric, please.

No. I can't explain. If you have quote unquote the runs, you don't wanna make a big deal out of it, you wanna say, excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom. And then you wanna walk very calmly to the bathroom. And as soon as that door closes, you're ripping your pants off. Have you ever had that run?

Or it's like, it's coming and you're like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. That's the funniest look in the world. There's nothing funnier to me than either being in that situation and thinking back on it or seeing someone else in that situation. I'm standing 15 feet away waiting for this to be over. Just give me a little wave when it's done, okay? Oh. Yeah, I mean, in that situation, I've seen some people do some pretty comical runs, but that's insane.

It's all about willpower. All right, bye. You don't need to change yourself physically. Use about willpower. You don't get it. All right, bye. You don't need to change yourself physically. Use your willpower. Spower, baby. What kind of running means walking? Let's see.

When I just got to run to the store real quick, but I'm actually just going to walk there. So you lied to someone and didn't take your time? No, I'm making really running to the store. Did I ever do a track and field? No. I tried out and I didn to do a track and field? No. I tried out and I didn't like it, and I quit immediately.

I was, I did. She could have just said no. She chose to tell the story of that. No, I guess I did it for a week. Failure. Oh, how'd you do? Terribly, I didn't like it one bit. And I was like, no.

I had a very weird body, so I did the two and a half. Ah, I did a very weird body. So I did the two and a half. I did the 200 meter dash I also ran the 800 and then I threw shop foot because I'm built very weirdly I'll check that to me. I get it. It's called podcast your body Fod Bob Bob Bob Bob. It's like that. But worse What kind of running means whacking? Oh, I words. What kind of running means whacking? Oh, I, uh, if you get like a home run, you just have to walk. You don't have to actually run those bases. That's a really good answer. That's phenomenal answer, but not not in. I would like to see. I do want to see. Oh, no, no, I'm so sorry. JPC,

you are a guy who just hit a home run and you're really milking it. When you get around, you're just like walking real slow. You're really making a meal out of it. Okay, okay. And there's Williams with the swing and a, oh, it's outta here going, going gone. That is 370 feet. Oh my God. Oh, is that a home run?

Is that a home run? Oh yeah. Go ahead. That is. We can be sure. Yep. Okay, so we'll take the basis. Williams seems We can be sure. Yep. Okay. So I take the Weam seems to be having a conversation with the um I take the

Masons huh? Yeah, okay Hold on real quick before I start walking um catcher You're talking about your shit right before I hit that ball. You gotta do the say now No, I mean no. I actually got something for you. Oh, he's taking out his phone. He's taking a selfie Yeah, I'm gonna send this to your wife. I'm gonna send this to your wife So that's what a home run baseball player Fuck you both fuck you both Yeah, you help me down for two. What do you do? Take the run away? It's impossible. I already hit it. I'm walking

Oh man,. I'm walking. Oh, man, go! I'm going. Ooh! Oh, big strut! Big strut! Oh, Williams is down on his belly and his criss-crawling on his hands and knees as if he's half asleep.

I'm the alligator man. Is that going your first base? Hey, anyone in the audience, anyone in the audience of this baseball game? $100 to bring me a Pepsi right now I give you a crisp hundred dollar bills to bring and it seems like Williams thinks that this stands can hear him of course He's too far away Baseman it took you way too long to get over here just go go you're the first basement try hard to maybe they'll get laid one day pal boom

Actually got some of me. Well, I've took out a cordless mic and seems to be telling slams and jokes about the first basement. What is it man? It's a selfie gonna send this to your wife Maybe she'll see what it's like to have a home run baseball player at home. Anyway, so mean You're a clown. See you later. I took the base walking to. Well, it was just taking a neutral gain bar out of his pocket. It seems like he stopped for a little snack between first and second. He's taking out a Capri Sun. Stay hydrated. You got to stay hydrated.

Looks like he can't find the... He can't find purchase into the Capri Sun. Well, no, we have trouble with that. They make the god be a big, so fucking hard to... I got it. And... I'm the proudest feeling wild for who Williams finding purchase in the Capri Sun.

He's moonwalking the second. Oh, yeah. Don't respect the artist, but do respect the art form, just so everybody knows. I cannot believe how long it took you to get the second base, dude. Just go. Just go what? Go to your wife's house.

Go to your wife's house. Go to your wife's house. Let me give you a little selfie, send that to her. Okay, what's your number? I don't have your number. And William seems to be feeling up the second base man. I feel like it's some sort of joke about getting to second base, but the crap is going wild.

Hey, I'm getting this all the time. I get it, it's funny. Now go. He gets the joke. All right, okay, two-third then. Yeah, go, get out of here, man. Quick, stop to home plate, punch the picture gets the joke. All right. Okay. Two-third then. Yeah. Go get out of here man quick stop to home plate punch the And the stands are starting to empty people are treating this as a form of carton is playing as a new stuff

All right, I'm going to third. I'm going to third. Don't worry about it. I'm going to third Actually, I'm gonna do a quick run. You know hot dog. I'm gonna get a hot dog So give me one second you hey say my spot. Just kidding. run. You get a hot dog. I'm gonna get a hot dog. So give me one second. You, hey, say it by spot. Just kidding. Can you get me a hot dog, man? Yeah, I'll get you a hot dog. Let me just,

Just putting down a quarter, almost like he, as if he's golfing and moving his ball out of the way. Look at you, a hot dog to take a selfie. Say that to your wife. There's a hot dog right there. Hot dog, baseball, I'm out of hungry. Please, just go, run home.

You're hungry? You're hungry? Well, I got to you, hot dogs right here. Let me just go. dog, baseball. I'm out of hungry, please just go, run home. You're hungry? You're hungry? Well, I got to you, hot dogs right here. Let me just go. Oh, please. And Williams is eating two hot dogs at the same time. He's getting inside a Mitsubishi Lancer. And he's driving donuts around the third.

Hey, dude, please. I take these Lancer keys, I whip them in at the audience. So I just want to Lancer. That guy just want to Lancer. Okay, touch third. Ain't going to home? Oh, my Williams is leaving the stadium. Always walking a few blocks to I believe where his condominium resides.

He's putting the keys in the door. He can't find purchase in the lock. Come on, motherfucker. They make me say, so goddamn hard to f- There it is. Wait a minute. What's that? The ump is telling us that it was actually a foul ball. That didn't count at all.

I'm sorry that I missed that. I'm a little resigned today. I'm already home. I'm not going back. Let me see. Turn off all the lights. Uh, insert reviews have ruined baseball. Oh, God.

I don't think baseball has insert reviews. Couldn't care. Don't know how to cook. Couldn't care. I feel like I've been in so many baseball games, but I feel like it's the least exciting thing to watch. There's so many times. Oh, my God.

I love baseball games. I love getting a hot dog and a cider and just chilling out. Baseball games. It's fun to go to friends and dick around. Yeah. I think that they're exciting when like exciting shit is happening. That's like energetic, but so much of baseball games is just like, like, nobody's hitting. All right. It's like a stretch. Another strikeout. Then the other team takes the field and it's another strikeout. The other team takes the, and it's like, it's wild. It's one of the big ball. It's wild, but one of the biggest things you can hope for is for there to be a

no hitter, which is where nothing happens. Nothing fucking happens. Yeah. It's the only game where the defense has the ball. Yeah. I love going to games at, uh, to see the Cubs and the Red Sox. Those just have the best vibes. They're better.

Anytime I've gone to another baseball game, I'm like, oh, the stadium is boring in the socks, but I like a, uh like a place with a little history to it. I think those are going to like original stadiums in baseball because all the other ones I think got torn down and moved to like the outskirts of every time for the most part. Have you been to a Dodger game or angels or anything? I've been to Yankees game didn't care for it in California. No, I haven't been to a Dodgers game Sean went to one seems like you see if are you coming or what I? Did watch a video that was a friend sent to me that was 2021 MLB worst swings and there is something very funny about watching people who get paid hundreds of Just doing just doing so poorly at their job.

It is funny that the best of the best baseball players, like Mike Trowder, Barry Bonser, whoever, they hit the ball three at a 10 times. Yeah. And they're like absolute, the pinnacle of success in baseball. I would love to know what it feels like to hit a home run, like in your body. Great.

That must feel like cool. I hit one in a game in like a friend's game in high school. It felt amazing. And it felt like I didn't put any power behind it. And it just like hit the bat so perfectly. And it got lost in like the woods. It felt incredible. Oh, what I would give. What a jolt of thrill. My first born son, I think. I think one's willing to make that deal. What kind of running means war? My first born son I think. I think one's willing to make that deal. What kind of running means walking? Oh god this. Okay.

This again? Hint. Give me hint. So before, before, let's see, what kind of running means walking? So even before running and walking in this instance, you're actually sitting. So the order would go sitting, running, walking. So wait, so what can happen while you're sitting that would cause you to start walking? I'm sitting at the bar, this fucking dope ass fucking idiot next to me starts funnuck and run in his mouth and my friend goes, just walk away and I go, I will walk away and I walk

to the door of the bar and then what do I do? I lock the door and I say you're done motherfucker And then I turn around and that guy beats the shit out of me that guy whips my candy ass all across that bar He's putting me on the bar. He's sliding me down the whole thing all the fucking drinks are splashing in my face. I Should have never fought that guy Is that the answer? Is that the answer? Yeah.

Yes. Word for word. Two answers. Sitting, running, walking. Yeah, and the sitting was my hand, but the original riddle is what kind of running means walking. But in this instance, you're sitting first, doing something, you're sitting

but you're actively involved in some activity. I got it. Then you're running. And then because of the certain type of running, you are now, you don't have to walk. So here's what it is. Yes. You're sitting, Aaron, I'm sorry, you're defecating.

You're doing a number two. Then you get up, the water is, the water is running as you wash your heads. And then you're walking out of the bathroom, proudly declaring nothing weird happened in there. It's the normal one that I do. It's a piss! I get a piss! This is really good to have Robert this good. From my face, because of my bladders and my head. What's going on, Adal? What's the answer?

I would like to just know it. Let me say when you're sitting, your hands and feet are actively engaged. Hands and feet? Yeah. So what kind of sitting are you doing when you're your hands and feet are actively engaged? Like a bike, but different. So what are some of the things that are like a bike? Working out. Well, possibly, but think of different modes of transportation. Using a scooter. That's pretty much a bike. Scooters. A boat. But on land. Closer but something on land. A boat but on land. Sir! That's a Cadillac. Are you driving a car? You are driving a car. So how are you driving a car? I don't use my feet. And then there's something going on with running and then that means walking.

The car is running? In this instance, it's actually not running because something happened that involves running. I don't, so wait, so you, the car runs out of gas and you have to run to get gas. Yes, that's it. And then walk back. My boy, Marty, you did it.

I don't get it though. I don't get it though. I don't get this at all. What's the answer? Running out of gas. Running out of gas. What kind of running means walking? Running out of gas. Because then you have to walk your ass to the gas station.

Okay, that's fine. Can I ever tell you about a friend of mine, who I won't blow up their spot on the podcast by saying their name. They got picked up at the airport by their in-laws and then their in-laws ran out of gas driving home, and they had to walk to get gas. And it was like, it immediately takes like the night,

the nice gesture of picking someone up from the airport and fucking kicks it into the fucking sun. Turned into a nightmare. Turned into a nightmare. What the heck is this? It kicks it into the sun. Doing someone a favor and be like, I'll give you a ride

and then running out of gas is the best. That is the most bullshit thing about all the things. I'm like, a king of stuff like that. I am like, God damn king of stuff like that. Have you ever run out of gas here? Oh, dude. Shit like that all the time. Can I tell you something? Sean told me recently that he goes like, you really, you just care too much about taking care of other people, but usually you just like make it worse because you are like trying to help. And I try to help so much and I just end up making it a bigger chore

for everyone involved. I wanna see you seen. I can see that. Aaron, you are driving your car and it is just on the precipice of empty. JBC, you are a Hick Hiker, who Hick Hiker. Where to be? You're in the SouthBC you are a hitkiker, who hitkiker. You're in the South, you're a repunk hiker. I'm going to a national park.

Your hitkiker who Aaron picks up and then you're both in a bad situation. Hey, jump on it, don't mind the birds. No, never do. Oh, very funny, two middle fingers. Very funny. Come on in. No, thank you so much for picking me up. I know people are weird about hitchhikers. No worries. Which way are you going, pal?

Which guitar? Oh, great. I'll basically go as far as you can take me west and that's great. That's great. I'm going to the exact same place. This worked out awesome. Any preference on music? God, the layered Miss Rob sound track. Great, I'm going to the exact same place. This worked out awesome. Any preference on music? Oh, okay. God, the lay-ad-missor-ob sound track is great. I got that for you. Holy shit. I got it.

I'm the original West End cast. The number one baby. Yeah, you're welcome. That's my favorite cast. You want a snack? Cause I have a bunch of great snacks up here. Do you want something? Do you have white cheddar goldfish by any chance?

I have white cheddar goldfish. Oh, my God. And here's a little warm blanket. And just settle in. This is so warm. Do you have white cheddar goldfish by any chance? I have white cheddar goldfish! Oh my god! And here's a little warm blanket and just that'll it. This is so warm. You were sitting on this, thank you so much. And I ran out of gas. I ran out of gas. Can you...

Can you walk like... Can you walk like the 50 miles to go and get it? I think it's so accommodating. 50 miles? Yeah. I think there's a gas station like way closer than that. And I don't like that gas. I like the one that's far.

We see a road sign that says Wichita 35 miles. Can you go get that? Can you go get the gas please? You want to walk past Wichita? Yeah. Oh, I think we're so nice. Yeah. Yeah. So nice. You wanted to play the music I liked. Yeah. The Wichita Goldfish and the whatever even has us. I think they're just continued. Yeah. Oh God. Hurry back. Hurry as well. And I'm actually strapped for cash too. So

we could cover it. I mean I can't. I really can't. I mean I'm like strapped for cash too, so we could cover it. I mean, I can't, I really can't. I mean, I'm like hard up for money because I'm obviously hitchhiking the widgetaw. Please. Oh God. Can I be honest with you? Yeah. I'm Robert Downey Jr. I'm researching a role where I have to play a hitchhiker.

This is pretty commonplace. Off you go. Hold on. No, I'm not just off. I have a team of handlers who's right down the road. I wouldn't really like for you to do it. Oh. No, I wasn't saying that my handlers would go get the gas. I was just saying, I'm done with the situation it with you Thank you so much for going to get the gas for me you want me to hide out here Okay, you know I was iron man, right? Yeah, I feel like iron man does not bad press You know before I was iron man. I was Robert down in I know and you don't want a backslide into that bad will, right?

I backslides pretty much by middle name, honestly. Off you go. Oh. Has anybody made a witch hiker? Is that a thing? Is that something fun, a witch hiker? Was like Henry Cavall hitchhiking? Yeah.

Good job. Toss a coin to your... Witch hiker. Or hitch a toss? Yesterday. Yesterday. Yesterday, me saying, please, just job. Toss a coin to your, which I care. Or Hichita, is that something you just can't do? Yesterday, me saying, please just reminded me of this. It's been making me laugh. Yesterday, Sean and I watched a friend of his directed a, like a church pageant Christmas show with children that they filmed.

It's easier than that. I gotta say, I think it might be my new favorite movie. It's insane. I loved it. There's a part in it that where a little boy comes out from the curtain he goes, I like to be, it's like the reasons why they do the pageant. The song is like, why do you do the pageant? Why do you do the pageant? And he comes out of the curtain and he goes, I like to be a star on stage and he loses Confidence and then a little girl comes out and crosses her arms and goes hang into hang out with kids of an old dough wage And I can't stop singing my head. I like to be a star on stage and hang out with kids of an old dough wage

That's art is air. That's kind of what you're doing right now. I know. Yeah, little corromia. And we're kids at heart and kids mentally. I can't get out of my hand. And physically, physically in terms of the stretch. Yeah, exactly. Hang out with kids of an old door age. Aaron, besides hanging out with kids of an older age,

is there anything else you like to do in terms of plugs? I would say I actually have a new podcast coming out in mid February. So follow me on Instagram to get info about that. I'm really, really excited about it. It's a D&D podcast that I've been working on for a little over a year. So excited about it. I'm so excited to listen to this. And they already, these two older kids, already verbally confirmed to me that they would be guests

on the show eventually. So, I'm excited. Do you want to say the name, Aaron? It's called sitcom D&D. And it's sitcom D&D. Social media pages out there, right? There is. There is a Twitter and Instagram.

You say this podcast is a Dungeons and Dragons and comedy podcast, right? Yes. Are we sure we're sold on that order? We don't want to say a Dungeons and Comedy and Dragons, but I mean, which is there more of in this podcast? Is it, because like, dragons being second, makes it seem like,

there's gonna be a lot of dragons. Comedy and dragons and dragons. Dragons and riddles, hold on. it makes it seem like the dungeons and drag dragons and riddles hold on but I'm really really excited about it and I think you will like it I think people will like it so check it out Hell yeah, GPC do you have anything to plug? I mean yeah man I got lots of stuff to plug

I'm doing so much. I got so much going on. You're crying. No, it's he. If it's coming from his head, I don't remember. You can find me at twitch.tv slash shark markman. I stream video games over there. If you are an Amazon Prime subscriber, boo,

or you're just dealing with your parents, go give me your Prime sub. Just go and subscribe to the channel. It's an easy thing to do. It's, I do it all the time. I do it all the time. And you can also follow me on Twitter at GPsipFly or at Instagram at SharkBarkman. And listen to the Billbuds podcast. And that's it. That's all I've got. Addle what the fuck do you have to talk about? Whoa! Yeah, I'll take it

uh... i should i think everyone should check out the whole of the magic tether and patreon we have that up and going and it's it's a very time and then i i also have a new podcast it's myself and jpc and we're also doing uh... kind of dnd thing it's called dumb gyms and dragons uh... jpc and I both play characters named Jim,

not unlike Jim from the office. We're both super dumb and we try and fight dragons. So check out dumb gyms and dragons. Don't do this. Now people are gonna wanna see it. Don't do this. Now we have to do a Patreon episode of that. You're right, Aaron, I apologize.

It's called dumb gyms and dragons. We're both genies. We're granting wishes, but we're super stupid. I love it. And the other thing that's wild about it is that if you spell our name Jim, J-I-M, it's pronounced Jim, but if you do G-Y-M, it's pronounced G-M.

If you capitalize the G, you're right. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Now Aaron, there's famously a capital J out there that changes the meaning of a word. Do you know what word I'm thinking of? Juice. Well, well, word. Do you know what word I'm thinking of? Juice! Well, well, juuuuutter. Thank you.

I ever should have caffeinated before this episode. I should have caffeinated before this episode. Perfect. Yeah, we're doing vocal warmups at the end. At the end. Excellent. Are you parents in the music video? Vocal created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Nemours. Hey there Hans and Christians, if you like that you are going to love this week's Patreon. That by popular demand we return to the fairy tales of Hans Christian Anderson.

You can listen to that plus our entire Batcadilog at patreon.com.sharewaretovertale by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or the review crew to get ad free episodes for $8 a month. See ya there! That was a headgun podcast.