Hey Riddle Riddle - #182: Which Pisswitch

Episode Date: January 12, 2022

It's our 2nd ep of the New Year so you know we're going to talk about our New Year's Eve! Also, Adal unveils his new word for 2022 and, spoiler alert, it's in the title of the ep. All that and we've got a new bird in town, a chance encounter in the woods, a joyous celebration at a somber occasion, an unruly teen with an unruly ween, and a total POS on a first date. Are you ready for another year of riddies and puzzies because we sure are! Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a the episode started. Ad right, so this is how the episode's starting. Adults, we are about to start recording and then Adults took a phone call and put us on mute. That's a little rude. That's a power move. Listen, it's 2022, it's a new Adults. A few new things you need to know. Number one, I'm sexy now.

I'm hot, I'm beautiful, I'm sexy. Where? All over. I'm into it, I'm into it. From the top of the head to the tip of my toes, I'm hot as hell. Okay. Number two, I'm a businessman.

I'm very busy. I make phone calls. I have to mute people. It's not a fancy to you too. I respect you too. I love you too. I'm very busy. Number three, I'm gonna start using Pisswich

as a term of endearment. You two are my Pisswiches. Okay. Okay, so you like swimming at all? Yeah. I hate all of this. Annel, can I ask a question about... Even me being confident?

Yeah, I have that most of all, I think. Can I ask a question about being a piss witch? Is it W-I-T-C-H like a witch like, I have a broom? Or is it W-I-C-H like a sandwich? And I'm sorry, for the witch you gave an example. Ow, I have a broom. Can you give an example for the second one?

I have a lettuce. I think it's whatever you want to identify with. If you don't like either, I want to go and record a second. I don't want to buy a good one. If you don't like it, you're being a little magical. Maybe it's witch. If you feel like you're being a little crusty today, maybe it's witch.

I just want fans to know how Maybe it's which. If you feel like you're being a little crusty today, maybe it's which. I just want fans to know how to spell it when they attack you to say stop playing. Stop saying piss, which please. I like to think of it as a sandwich. I've been to you guys in three weeks. What's up? We recorded two weeks ago here.

Not me. Not mentally or spiritually. What's up? How was everyone's new years? I'll go first. I sat at home. I hate new years eve. It's the worst day of my life every year. So I sat at home. I watched the ball drop. I turned on the TV at like 1145 and watched the little festivities that were awful. And that's about it. What did you two get up to? Well, I got COVID. Again, Erin.

Again, Erin. And this time it really kicked my ass. I know where I love just going back again and again to toxic relationships. Erin, you had original recipe and you had spicy abacron. Is that correct? Yeah, don't recommend it.

And I am such a stay at home person, but I did travel for the holidays, which was a mistake. I thought getting tested before I went would help, turns out that's nothing. Doesn't help at all, just to get tested. Wait, so wait, do you thought getting tested was a sort of magical shield? Yeah, because I was like, I'll have good will because everyone else will get tested.

Turns out a lot of people don't do that stuff. So, um, traveled, got COVID, it kicked my ass. I was at a commission for a week. I texted Adal on a panic on Thursday. Like, I can't keep my eyes open, help me post an episode. Uh, Aaron, were you traveling to see your family or Sean's family? Sean's family.

Second time you've got COVID from Sean's family. Yeah, I think the coils, I think there's something wrong with the coils. Don't tell anyone's wrong with them. They have some COVID. They were good. They were good. This time wasn't on them.

But yeah, but otherwise, had a really lovely holiday. I love New Year's as much. I was just obviously inside for a million days in a row. But I put my Christmas decorations away. I've just been lighting candles and cuddling with my dog. It's been great. No complaints. Do you guys know that we have already recorded the episode

that comes out after New Year's? Yeah, but now it comes out of the 12th crowd. But these are for some recording in there. You saying you hung out with your dog reminded me. I did get, I took an edible New Year's Eve night to help get me through it. I hope the story ends up hanging out with a dog. Well, kind of. I don't know how to say this,

except to come out and say it, because this is one of Adel's high thoughts. Aaron, do you think Clifford the Big Red Dog is just an analogy for someone getting their period? No. You don't think this Big Red Dog showing up is a coming of age story where it's like a girl's like, oh, sorry, I can't go play, I'm on my Big Red Dog.

I got my Big Red Dog this sorry, I can't go play. I'm on my big red dog. I got my big red dog this week. I don't think that. I am fine, but you know what? I can't argue with you right now because I don't quite remember what Clifford is about. I know that what's his name. Who? Does that happen in Clifford?

Does it happen in Clifford that? Clifford's a giant red dog. I understand that part. He shows up once a month for just a few days. That's not true. That can't be true. You can't flush him down the toilet. Uh, uh, nope.

So you can't wear white or uncliff or do else he goes crazy. I don't think you know anything about Clifford or periods. I think the only way at all, and by the way, this is Heyward and Riddler will podcast about Riddles and Improv. I think the only way that this analogy falls apart is that you don't understand either of the things that you're analogizing.

And that might, that's it. That's my only point of like critique I would say. Ah, bastib. Ah, ah, ah, ah. On the PBS show, John Ritter, that's what I was trying to think of. John Ritter. Did the voice of Clifford, and that's what I remember about it, and that's all I really remember about it.

It's this little blonde girl and Clifford's her big dog. It's about... John Ritter, that seems beneath him. Famously deceased. Famously dead. Well, yes, but when he was alive, he was Clifford. And I think it's about being a big red dog at a little green and blue world. But his wife is Kristen Ritter, who was the B and apartment 23. That's not true. Okay. Adel your mess. You're making a mess, Adel, I just cleaned the podcast.

What are you doing? Wait, wait, Clifford talks. Yeah, of course. Let of like just clean the podcast. What are you doing? Wait, wait, Clifford talks. Yeah, of course. Let's keep it in the microwave. Okay, I don't know, yeah, he's a big red dog. I was like talking was not on my list of things that I thought he did. It would be funnier if John Ritter voice Clifford

the red dog and he didn't talk. He just did like, Tim L, like, errrrr. Like George Culinion South Park. GPC, I can't wait till you have kids so we have stuff to talk about. Then we'll have a frame of reference for TV shows. GPC, what did you, I stepped on your story. What did you do for New Year's Eve?

No, I didn't give a story. I was amazed that you guys were doing New Year's stuff a week late. I think that's a great precedent. I think it's gonna be great that we'll just do, we'll just do a week late of what happened a week ago in the world. How was I supposed to talk about New Year's Eve

when I hadn't experienced it yet? Is my big question for you, Mr. Grumpy Man? Well, I guess that's true, Aaron. And I guess one of those things is, you could have just not talked about New Year's Eve. It is possible to not talk about New Year's Eve. Aaron, great. I had COVID and now I don't. What's up?

Aaron, I'm hearing it. As I heard JPC respond, I'm starting to hear it. He is a Mr. Grumpy man. I hate to say it, but for this year, you are Mr. Grumpy man. Well, Mr. Grumpy man didn't have COVID and he didn't get scared by his inner thoughts. So I came out of my New Year's pretty unscathed. So I'm pretty happy about that. What?

I'm a Mr. Grumpy man. But I do. I will say that this Omnichron variant, a lot of people, Vax and Booster, thought that they were pretty safe, and I know a lot of people who got COVID. And it's because it's just everywhere. It's everywhere, and being vaccinated, it kind of does it help spread it,

so, or prevent you from getting it. It's funny, I just in today's day and age, I kept reading Omnichron, but I never said it. So the first time I said it, It's funny, I just in today's day and age, I kept reading Omicron, but I never said it. So the first time I said it, I was like, you know, I'm the, I'm the, I'm the cron. Like I had such, I fumbled my words so poorly. Mm-hmm. Because nowadays I just, I don't talk to anyone,

I just read, and then when I go to talk, it all comes out gibberish. I just say, I'm a rosa. Yeah. We remember Omicron. From the apprentice. From the apprentice. I'll never forget. You're fine. That's from, right? I'm a princess. I'll never forget.

You're fired. That's from the five year pop culture history that I will never forget a single moment of. I don't know why. Anyways, who's old grumpy puzzles? That would be all JPC. Oh, ho, ho. I'm going to be honest with you.

We got some good ones. We got some good fricking grumpy puzzles today. Right. We'll be the judge of that. And you'll be the judge of that. No one else, this is a court of only two. So the two of you can judge the riddles according to their worth and their name.

Gavokavl, Robble, Robble, which of course, Robble, Robble is a portman two of Rob and Gavul. I just cleaned, Adel. I just cleaned. Did you not see? So this is a podcast equivalent of me vacuuming and then you walking through the house with dirty shoes. You should have a pulsared the podcast

and all white velvet. But it's so new. That's so new. If you're just now listening to this and you listen to the best of episodes and then you skipped a week like Adel and Aaron did and then you thought, why don't I give this podcast a try? This is Hey Riddle Riddle.

It's a podcast about riddles and improv. And we can, yes, yes, and we cannot wait to get into it. And so we're gonna get it in, we're gonna dip our toes in with some, some, I don't wanna say easier because I think that that puts, that puts such a burden on the Jesus. Shorter.

Sleasier. Okay, I like that, I like shorter and sleezier. So these are riddles that wish they were a little bit taller. Wish they were a baller. My toes are cold. Keep your hands on it. Okay. It has literally gotten up from her chair.

I have to wait for my mic. I have to wait for my mic. I have to wait for my mic. So here we go. This one is an email that comes from Kevin. So his love the podcast. I have a few little riddies for you for your viewing pleasure. Thank you, guys.

We've used a couple of them before, so I'm going to go to the one that we haven't used because I do like this. And also, we probably have used this, but I don't remember it, and it's fun. Two penguins are paddling a canoe on the road. One turns to the other and says, where's your paddle? The other applies. Sure does. How is this possible? They're crazy. They're one's crazy. I mean, they're paddling a canoe on the road. So that's your tip off that they're not the, you know, yeah, you know what they, they all

say that they're crazy until one of them is a trendsetter. One of these, one of these is the next Elon Musk, perhaps. Elon Tussle. Can you say what did the first one say? Two penguins are paddling a canoe down the road. One turns to the other and asks, by the way, I think my favorite type of joke set up is what one animal turns to another animal and stuff.

I love that. I would love it. I feel like we're in a new millennia. As we move forward, we should start to say, instead of saying one turn to the other, we should just say one stared straight ahead and muttered No more turning of heads. Yeah, that's how you communicate when you drive You just stare at the road and you say something awful about yourself and the way that you believe And let's hit the TV show and then you stare at the passenger seat for two minutes while talking and everyone's like look at the road

China remember what Clifford was about. So these two penguins, the paddling can do down the road. One turns to the other and asks, where's your paddle? The other replies, sure does. Where's your paddle? Sure does. Where's your paddle sure does? Sure does.

You guys have done this before where someone's like, have a good one, you're like not bad. Yeah, having a point. You too. Enjoy your meal. You as well. Fuck me. Fuck me. this before where someone's like, have a good one, you're like, not bad. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna point you to, I'll you. Enjoy your meal. You as well. Fuck me, fucking fuck me. Um, LOL you've had this one before. Casey, LOL, my business. My business, Casey.

I forgot that there is technically a person who's listed to a bunch of our episodes on this for a short time. You struggled last time too, KC. Fuck you, KC. KC, if you're very clean. I just cleaned it on the mic and say the answer. Yeah, then you say the answer. Come here. KC, what's the fucking answer? Tough guy. W-E-A-R-S. It wears your paddle using your canoe. Fuck. Cut it. KC at it yourself out. Cut it, cut it from the show. Fuck. No, that, Kai Casey, that was Casey. Every time he gets on Mike for the show, it shows up in the fucking invoice too.

So this is fucking. So it spelled that way, where's? Now we have to give him a sad card. It's the extra, extra throw to line in there and they're like, we didn't get that, right? Do the boom mic get that guys lined? Because we can't pay that guy. We can't pay that guy. Where's your paddle?

And where's it at? Where's out your paddle? Sure does. I wanna see you seen. JPC, you are a penguin. You live in Antarctica, right? Sure. So you're a penguin in Antarctica.

You've been born and bred in the cold. You've known nothing but Antarctica would you've been born and bred in the cold, you've known nothing but Antarctica which you live on. Aaron, you are a penguin in from your cowboy penguin in from Texas and you just moved to Antarctica and you're trying to get settled and you do things a little bit differently. You're trying to get adjusted. Yee-haw! Well, I'm telling you when a penguin bumps into another penguin in Texas, one of the penguins apologizes, sir.

Uh, yeah, and I was apologizing. I'm sorry, again, I was shouting pretty loudly. I was just coming over to your house. I brought some uh, carp, and I wanted to, uh, just, you know, it's a carp casserole. Do we need to take this outside? Well, we are outside. We're penguins. This is where we live. Well, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold. Well, I just wanted to bring over this carp casserole, walking me to the neighborhood. I'm dairy, if you need anything, I live in the... Uh, well, it doesn't matter what I live in, because I'm not gonna Google it, but I do live just across the lines. You live in the Rookery with all the other penguins

That's the name of it. I live in a Rookery if one I am divorced But I am open to meeting other penguins. I'm you know, I get out there a little bit I yeah, it's not been all too well for all games You know what this isn't my life story Just know here's a carp casserole. Welcome to the neighborhood if you need anything if you're having trouble You know finding you right finding your way around. I can't adjust on my own Gary Let's take this outside One two what we are again. We are outside. I just I just mentioned it because you're wearing a vest Again, we are outside. I just mentioned it because you're wearing a vest.

A-a-a-a-a. Ted, turn, blam! Jesus Christ! My carp gazzarol. That's completely obliterated. See. That's a cowboy penguin. Does the carp match the dreams?

Does the carp? Is it called a Rookery Kasey? I don't know. Kasey says, I don't know. Well, I think once I'm burned, so like you know. Hey Kasey from now on, don don't talk just put it back in the chat No, please talk just cuz we invite you on one to say one thing doesn't mean you're Yeah, Casey honestly the rest of the episode we already know

You already made his quote for the episode Listeners want more Casey. We can't give listeners what they want. If you want more Casey, the Neo Scum podcast is back, baby. The area where penguins mate, nest, and raise their chicks is called a Rookery. Ooh, Rookery mistake on my part. Wow, very good pun. Okay, so these next little warm up riddles, they trail off because we did about half of them

on a previous episode. These come from Nova again, they them. And these are, I don't know, well, you'll remember them as soon as we give them, okay? Thank you, Nova. What do you call a magician who works with reptiles? Fucking snake. What do you say?

So a magician who works with reptiles. So I'll give you a hint. I think everything is. A lizard. A wizard lizard. A wizard lizard. That's I think everything a lizard a wizard lizard a wizard lizard That's right Aaron a lizard wizard or wizard lizard. These are Hank Panks These are classic Hank Panks where as you know the Hank Pank format is the the answer will kind of rhyme with it Well, I would like to say hey, I'm so sorry

Adel you are a wizard lizard and you are coming across JPC who's camping in the woods and you're trying to convince him that you're a wizard who's just been turned into a lizard and that you need his help. Excuse me, you... Whoa! Sorry to start, will you? Sorry to be so close to the ground. Let me prop myself up on two legs.

I'm a bit cold-budded. Can I come by the fire? How many mushrooms did I eat? Uh, yeah, sure. This isn't happening, so come by the fire. Yeah, we'll be grasped by the shoulders and shake you. I need you to understand. I'm a lizard.

I'm a lizard, Harry. I'm a lizard. Is your name Harry? Yeah, how did you know? Name tag. In your underwear, in the baguette underwear. Yeah, I'm camping. I'm using my camping underwear.

It's better because I have to wash them in a stream if they get pushed away that I... Yeah, anyway, yes. I'm here. You're a lizard? You're a talking lizard? Well, no, I'm a wizard. We got turned into a lizard by another wizard.

We were having a wizard's duel, not unlike Sword in the Stone. I turned into an elephant. She turned into a mouse. I turned into a two-can. She turned toucan, she turned into another toucan. Oh, okay. Which is, we fucked. She turned me into a lizard. Can you...

You fucked as toucan? It's not important. I followed my nose. If you know what I mean. Well, wait, I just wanna make sure you were the same animal when you fucked. Yes. Okay.

Cause I was like, I don't think a toucan can fuck a lizard. Is that what you can fuck a lizard. I don't think that we're hung up on I don't want to say I'm hung up on it I'm not one of these weird guys that knows like too much about cloakers or whatever, but I'm just saying it's just like a different It doesn't matter. Okay, let me prove to you. I'm a wizard. What do you want done? Do you want me to change your hair color? Do you want me to put your hair shorter? Do you want me to what smooth back your hair? Do you want me to make you have thicker hair? Do you want me to give you bangs? Do you want me to cut your hair shorter, do you want me to? What? Smooth back your hair, do you want me to make you have thicker hair, do you want me to give you bangs, do you want me to, uh, lay your hair? Wait, who? Who are you trying to make me look like?

Uh, I love my style. Wait, hold on, thicker, slick back bangs, a different color. Oh, god, oh, it's on the tip of my tongue. Who is this, who is this, who is this? You got this, come on. It's the son of a hierarchy guy, it's the son of an hierarchy guy. He also played Robin Hood, I think I think so I think he played like King Arthur. There's like some Campbell on the TV. He was in oh It's on the tip of my tongue. I want to see Jack's teller, but that's the character from sons of anarchy. Oh

He's not he's not American. I know he definitely has an accent. He's British. Yeah, he's British. Yeah We should so handsome. I'm he definitely has a He's British. Yeah, he's British. Yeah, we should So handsome. I saw him. Hey, remember Opie. Opie was so good and then they killed him off. Spoiler. What the fuck? Charlie. Adam Charlie. Honey. Thank you. That's the which I was fighting. That's which house fighting. Well, um, do you mind if we turn into two cans and you see your camp? Uh, yeah, this is a real. This is a real, so yeah, I just wanna happen.

I guess very accommodating. I love the guy camping in a lizard with her, just try to figure out the lead name of Suns of Anarchy. Yeah. We used to do improv, but I know how anymore. To figure out someone's name without a phone is true. It's true. true with true wizardry What do you call a giant ape that breathes fire and attacks the city of Tokyo?

Godzilla gorilla it is a what that technically novice is gorilla Godzilla, but I think that we can I think yeah That you're wrong. I think we can accept that. Okay. What about this one? What do you call it creature made of bones and gelatin? Can I also just say the last one King Kong would have been acceptable? Because King Kong is basically an ape Godzilla. Does King Kong breathe fire though? Yeah. Great. Jelly. Jelly. Sorry, can you repeat the last one? Yeah, here's my issue. Maybe I should have changed this, but one of the words is the same. So what do you call creature made of bones and gelatin? Jelly, jelly. Gelatin skeleton. Gelatin skeleton. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that is great. And I think this is the last of Nova's

Hank Panks. Here we go. What do you call a big dance in a cemetery? Desperate, respectful. Well, in some cultures. Well, in some cultures. In some cultures. Dance again. I want to see you sing. Dance again. Hey, you can get out of here. Sorry.

So, Adel, you are presiding over a burial. I don't know if it's that's a burial. Barrel? Weirdo. You are, you're presiding over one. It's not this, that's not a funeral, but what's the part of the funeral where they're just putting the body in the ground? The funeral. That's the funeral?

Yeah, the weight. The funeral is when... The weight is after. No, no, yeah, the weight is, it's not the weight, it's the funeral, right? I don't know, because you can have a funeral that's not at the gravesite, right? The internment. Internment, that's it.

Or it's not, we don't know. But that's what you're deciding over, Adel, you're at a place. Aaron, this is a family member of mine that has passed away. We weren't very close, but you and I were newly dating and I've brought you to the funeral. And you think that there is a time that you will start dancing during this. But you and I were newly dating and I've brought you to the funeral and you You think that there is a time that you will start dancing during this

If anyone believes that this person should not be lowered into the ground speak now or forever hold your peace This is a thing our family does we we add this part. Oh, no, yeah, I get it Dealy beloved we are gathered here today To marry together this dead body and the ground. Thomas was, this part I don't know about, this is new to me. Okay, yeah. Thomas was a strong man. Some say he could bend a penny in half. No one ever saw it, but he said he could.

We'd all get a chuckle. Thomas worked for Caterpillar for 42 years receiving amongst his anniversary gifts a belt buckle a golden lighter I want to say hopefully a few races along the way am I right and he died he was crushed by one of the machines here at Caterpillar I'm sorry I hey everybody I know that I am new here and you may not know who I am. I'm Amy. I didn't know Thomas well or at all. But I do, but I do know and love his nephew. Stop, stop, stop.

So I thought that I would speak from my heart. And by speak, I mean dance. And do a interpretive dance to sort of show how I'm feeling and to show how much I respected Thomas's life. So I just need a word of anything at all. And I would love if you guys did some laps and claps for beats because there Time. Great. Um, fuck what I give a word. That was his widow. Yes. Dancing here. Cast Thomas and I'm laying across the casket and I'm in the end. I knock on the casket and I'm going to stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop I can sit over my body doing the flash dance move on top of the casket

Everybody This is this is no No, I don't be rude Sorry top is this deaf you know I just want to know us we hurt Quick enough Don't be rude. I am I'm a priest so get date women so I become a priest I am I'm a priest so get date with it. So I've become a priest and I don't Know to be a priest. There's no idea to do. No, I can do it. I do. We are gathered here See okay, then we have to take the body out of the casket and someone has to slow dance with This is slow dance with it. I have jet.

What's the riddle? This is what do you call a big dance in a cemetery? We didn't technically get this yet. A graveyard promenade. A graveyard promenade. Say big money promenade. Bath or death? Death, death, what?

Death, death, death, death, death, death, death, death, death. I actually, too busy to be dead stopped. I actually can't go. That was my thing I actually, um, too busy to be dead stopped. I actually can't go. Who that was my thing? No, I'm too busy to be dead stop. I'm so see and busy. No, I'm busy and busy woman busy. You know, you did bring up, um, monarchs so that I will say that I was at, um, Christmas

this year with my, my dad and his mother and he, they, they made a sale. No problem, huh? Ugh, gross. No. It's, it's my dad a sale. Gross. No. It's my dad's mom. Be respectful. I could say grandma. I could say grandma, but guess what?

Dad's mom. More specific. I was I was at Christmas with my dad, my grandma, my mom's mom. My parents are divorced and she's dead. So it was weird. But we're at Christmas and my dad's like getting salad dressing out and he goes, so your grandma loves ranch dressing, but I bought her some ranch dressing and she hated it. And I was like, oh, where'd you get it?

And he was like, I got it at Monarchs. And I was like, well, you shouldn't be buying ranch dressing at a hardware store. That's your first clue. And I was like, was it like branded? I'd never seen this brand before. And then he got out the dress thing and I was like, was it like brand new? I've never seen this brand before. And then he got out the dress dressing and he was like, you want to try it? She won't eat it. And so we went on the table and everyone dipped their finger in, tasted some of the red dressing and said, this is some of the worst red dressing I've ever had.

And then the next person was like, I got to know what the worst red dressing you've ever had. It's like, and they tasted it and they said, that's the worst red dressing I've ever had., it's like, and they changed that, they said, that's the worst range dressing I've ever had. And every single person did it until I got back to my dad and he goes, well, I guess I'll just throw it away. That's $4, she's thrown away. And I was like, I see where, I see why I'm like this. I see everything's coming together.

Yes. I'd rather be miserable than throw away $4. Buy range dressing up in ours. That is brute. I mean, I've seen them, they sell, they have like a whole aisle dedicated to like beef jerky because that's, if you were, if you're a carpenter or like a contractor,

you're eating the hell out of some jerky constant. It's in your truck in the, in the couple there. If you're just a blue collar fucking moron, you married your sister and you're eating beef jerky every day of your life. Wait, you're talking about duck, my brother. You married your sister and you're eating beef jerky every day of your life. Wait, you're talking about duck my brother. He married my sister. He married my sister. He shops at my nerves. I will say apparently. He thinks it's fucking with me. Apparently my nerds in my dad's neighborhood is like Walmart.

It's like a grocery store as well. But we all give them a lot of shitiffer by food of the arts. A big dance in a cemetery. Um, a prom. No, let's say, say like, um, this has a DJ and like everyone's doing ketamine. Oh, great, great, great. That's even more disrespectful. Don't go to a rave in a cemetery. Oh, I'm in a fucking play hole. No, no, darling, you just fell in the grave. Either way, it feels insects.

I play flashlight tag behind old chip church. All my hang-em heads out there. We would hit each other with flashlights. Yeah, it hurt. No, but we would like wear all black and then play flashlight tags in the cemetery. And there was one time that I thought everyone left me because I had such a good hiding spot that I thought they like gave up and left. Yeah, that's what they left. Well, yeah, I know, left me because I had such a good hiding spot that I thought they gave up and left. But I was so scared.

Well, yeah, I know, but maybe they up again, Frank. But I got so scared. Actually, maybe I should tell this, this is too disrespectful. Please, Aaron, please. You got so scared you dug up a body, ate it for power, tried to absorb their power. If you had not told the story about

when your dress got caught and you flashed that guy, I would have quit the podcast. Okay, well good. Well, this, I just, you know, when you get the, I think I might have said this on the show before, actually, the hide and seek peas, when you get nervous playing hide and seek thing, you have to pee really bad all of a sudden. No, that's not a universal thing. What?

No, I think it's the point where you'd have to, like, sit still and you're not supposed to pee that suddenly you just have to pee. Exactly. And so I had been waiting so long and so I didn't pee on anyone's grave, but I did pee, I peed in the cemetery. And I'm never seen that again. Luckily, there was an American flag there.

So I did a pee on any grave. I put the American flag down. I peed on that. No pee on the grave. And the only curse I have is I'm never happy and I'm sick all the time. That seems that's okay. No problem. That's fine. I bruise easily and I'm always tired. I got to see a scene. Aaron you can I let's for the listeners for the two of you for Casey who's always lurking right on the mic. Just know Aaron will this into existence. So JPC, you're a young teenager.

You or I'll hang out with friends drinking at a grave yard and you piss on a grave. As soon as the piss hits the grave, Aaron, you spring forward as the piss witch. And you are what presents itself to young children who piss on graves. Wow, we accidentally circled right back around to piss, which kind of insane. Okay, thanks.

Accidentally. Yeah, Mookie, whatever. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I gotta take a piss. Here we go. Unzip. Case you no need to put sound effects to this. And piss.

Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Oh. Oh no. Pfft. Hey, man. Pardon me. Oh Hey, man part of me. I'm so sorry. Were you laying on the ground? What's going on? Are you insane? You're peeing on my grave? You're insane. Oh shit. Are you peeing on my grave? What are you some sort of ghosts or something? Yeah, okay Fucking rude. How you know know what let me pee on you I For an I pee for a pee you want that you want ghost pee on you ghost piss? Yeah, ghost piss

What is this a podcast crossover? Yep, some people will get that reference Yeah, I mean I get I mean I guess I did you know if you're into it no then no What I'm not you want me to get naked first No I need to take off all my clothes and have a course kiss on me and I piss back on you. Oh, you're pro gross Okay, I mean let's look no one wants to do this by the way I'm 18 I know a kid but like I'm a kid of a job. I just I'm an adult. I'm a consenting adult In this instance

And nobody wants to do this, but I'll just address you're already obviously I'm 300 Is that okay? I mean it as long as the power imbalance is as long as the power they make is the same I don't necessarily think that there's a problem with the age dynamic having a bit 380 That's a huge gap, but maybe it's like so big of a gap that it's like it doesn't even matter. Here comes your friend, here comes your spirit. Hey! Hey! What are you doing over here?

Oh, who's this? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, tell you every sticky it key drip of it. Oh, yeah Let's do our best friend high five Normal high five. I'm back in the ground Hey come on come out you want a little more? I got plenty of piss. I had two coffees today 18 that's not good for you go ahead and and pee again and I'll just stay in here and watch. Wait, what? Can you do that? Yeah.

Can you pee while someone else is watching you? Yeah. Wait, what are you kids doing out here? I'm the one who's the keeper of the game. The grave robber. The grave robber. It's a grave robber. It's a grave robber.

He's got a saber and a pistol. A little bag full of feet. Seen. No, let's see. Ask me out of here. I'm gonna get a seed. It's a clever rubber. He's got a saber and a pistol and a little bag full of feet seen No, what else about this? He's got a pain I just cleaned What's that his head when she's a cowboy boot when she's a crock? What else? No, the podcast is so dirty. It's gonna break my vacuum podcast is so dirty it's gonna break my vacuum. Uh, JPC I have to ask, what is Ghost Piss? Oh, Ghost Piss is a, uh, it's a reference to the campaign podcast.

I had a, um, spoiler alert for the campaign podcast. One of my characters died on the show and they came back as a ghost and covered things at Ghost Piss. Millions of gallons of Ghost Piss. Oh, such a sexual thing. Oh, but that was a few years ago. What is time? What the fuck is time? Who does it's man?

Who does? Well, as we figure out in debate what time is, why don't we take a quick break? We don't know how long it's going to be because time has no meaning, but whenever it ends, we'll be right back Hey, GPC Yeah, you're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm

Prinking at all and I'm setting up a website to bring him, um, can I just need some advice? This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stay in that agency online, whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand. Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website engaged with your audience. And so let me think for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms.

Hey, Addle, come here. Come here. Come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell product? Did you know that with Squarespace you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing.

No, he's gonna shoot you. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website

to prank that too. Whoa, that's awesome Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website is for. Prank with Squarespace You can connect to your store to Vedent third party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine.

Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey, Erin. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adel and JPC, thank you for meeting me in the middle

of the woods here. I am sort of at an empath. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, have there never truly is a middle of the woods? No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it.

Adel, can you help? Yeah, actually. So, as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this?

Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices, and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you owl owl. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Hmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works, way better than traditional therapy ever did.

And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods. Isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge.

Hey, Aaron, GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Oh, dirty bread crumbs. Mm-hmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month.

That's better help. H-E-L-P dot com slash riddle R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in I am home Who are we? I Excuse me ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to I know it's JPC's birthday And we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite My favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Money.

Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Huh? Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, uh, uh, sorry, I also want to give a toast.

Rocket money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you and for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy, clean, clean, clean. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off over three million. Oh, Clint, Clint, Clint. Over three million people have used rocket money saving the average person up to $720 a year.

We love rock. Stop. I'm going to stop. No, click, click, stop, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwirted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rock at money.com slash riddle. That's rocket money.com slash riddle. Rock at money.com slash riddle and tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two

of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website Well, we figured it out time flat circle and Flat eight really because it's infinity and it's just kind of like on its side and we don't have the perspective Yeah, so what we figured it out. Yeah, if you could see the doodles that we made and the corkboard with the red thread, you'd be on board. We just took the same edibles that Adel did on your save. We took a German shepherd and crossed it with a poodle.

So that, like, yeah, we've a jiu-jitsu. A poodle. And we're on the same page Clifford the big red dog is It's nothing so start using that you can start saying like I'd love to hang out but I'm I think you know as I talk about periods anymore my big red dog is here I think that you're done in 11 months send me a text and I'll let you know if you're allowed to talk about periods again I think I think at all you if you have a daughter, then you can start talking about periods, but until then it's you just can't.

But what if my favorite pro jam song is? If one of your kids has a uterus, you can talk about it. That's a Pearl Jam song. Yep. Oh my daughter. Okay, this next one, this is a riddle here submission. It's actually a whole game submission coming from Blair, she heard from Virginia, and Blair says that I friend shared

the podcast with me and I've listened to the entire archive of HR, HR, and about a third of the Patreon. You know, since they sent the email, but you know, I hope she listens to the rest of the Patreon. There's some pretty good stuff in there. So she sent an email to me specifically. And so this riddle is best for a day when your old men puzzles. If you are Aaron or Adel, stop reading now. So I think that that means Blair's just giving you blanket permission

to never read again, which is, that sounds wonderful. Hallelujah. Fuck you, knowledge. Merry Christmas, ignorance. Merry Christmas, you hold savings in loan. I think I can't tell, but just going off the shape of the building,

I assume it's a savings in loan. I don't read anymore. A building type that doesn't exist anymore, but I'm like, yeah, savings alone, that's something. She said that she was listening to the live show, the live show at Cavia in New York City, which was listening to the live show, the live show at Cavia in New York City, which was right before the pandemic and worst day, the past 10 years ago, and that was that was 2020. I was totally different

person then. They she came up with this game called I Have Nipples Focker. Can you milk me the musical? So she's taken some famous lines and replaced nipples and milk with keywords, such as slash song titles, lyrics, or sort of pieces of music. And you have to guess the musical. And so there's an example, which I'd like to hear the example. Yes, please. Okay, so I have nipples, Focker.

Can you milk me the musical? Here's your example. I have green skin, Focker. Can you fly high to find gravity with me? That is the musical. Easy. Quick and. Shrek. You're not wrong. Oh with me? That is the musical. Easy. Shrek.

You're not wrong. What if Shrek the musical was just a straight-up copy of Wicked? I would fucking love that. Something has changed within me. Something is not the same. Swampula. I want to be swampula. You know what guys, the oldest would have gone down a rabbit hole and done this for 25 minutes

Morning, I'm making waffles Okay, here's your work done great That was actually really well Thank you. I have my signature at the US Constitution Focker. Can you rat battle me? Hamilton? I invite signature of the US Constitution Focker. Can you rat battle me? Hamilton? Yep Total re-skitting of that musical to Shrek would be also very cool. Yeah, I gotta say the context lose are not necessarily hidden terribly I'm having fun anyway. I think a lot of these when this when this salesman dies milk When this when this salesman dies milk

I do think Blair specifically said that YouTube would have more fun guessing these since you know musicals But so far I feel like your knowledge of musicals makes this hardly a challenge at all I have a master of the house Focker. Can you dream a dream of me? Les Mies that be, that would be. That would be, that would be, that would be, that. That would be, that would be, that would be, that. That would be, that would be, that would be, that. That would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that. That would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that would be, that I didn't think I liked it. I didn't think I liked it at all and then I saw that production I was like this is one of the greatest things I've ever seen. It's up again. I have a matchmaker Focker. Can you make me a rich man?

In the other room. Annie. Sadanheim Classic Fiddler on the room. I have a politician husband Focker. Can you cry for me? What is a V? Here's a part you for you love you understand you is one of you. If not, how could he love me? Anytime I'm on a balcony, anywhere, I sing that song. Wow. Any balcony, I will do that.

Wow, pretty good. How can you use that against her? balcony Bartolomew. Every once in a while, Aaron will let piece, let's slip a piece of personal identifiable information. Like, I will sing the song in a balcony, and my brain goes, you can exploit this. Safer, safer, keep this in a pouch.

Use this against her. I'm already mentally loading up. In case there's one that it's a clue to get us to guess rent, I already have loaded up a, I should milk you, I should milk you, fuck or should milk you I should milk you fucker milk you I should milk you gross another time another place. I have a dancing queen Focker can you sing an Abba song for me. Give me now I don't know I don't know, I don't know. Mama Sia, here we chandelier. I have Whiskers Focker.

Can you Rumtum tug me? That one work. Yeah, I was there. Cats. K-A-T-Z. That is, yeah, it cats with a Z that I was gonna say. Cats daily. I have a scrappy little dog Focker.

Can you love me tomorrow? Yanny. JPC. Thanks to meet you. I'll show them to you. I'll show them to you. What is Annie's dog's name? I forget. Sandy. Is it?

Mm-hmm. Can you say that? You were setting her up for that. Sandy? Yes, Sandy. I truly forgot. I think I think I'm saying that. I have a dead king father.

Can you love me tonight? The king and dead. I think that, uh, I think that she forgot to put Fokker into that. That's okay. Uh, no, it's not the king and dead. That's a very good guess at all It is not Camilla Aaron and go ahead whenever you're whatever you're giving answers Don't shout them into the cup of coffee that you drink Keep on aligned from old-timey radio Aaron out here But he's a monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey coffee at sea? Yeah. I have a dead king father, Focker.

Can you feel my love tonight? Oh, a Lion King. Thank you. I have a paper job, Focker. Can you dance on newspaper sheets for me? Newsy's. I just watched Newsy's yesterday. Is that Dave?

Aaron, you're going to clip of you saying I just watched you do these yesterday and just plugging into any episode and I feel like it would be true. You know, whatever, whatever. It's so good. I haven't planned pregnancy fucker. Can you bake a pie for me? Oh, this is waitress.

That is waitress, correct? Pull it to me on the world body. Don't know us. Take it from a mold. Pull it to me crack a whip. But you won't crack us. In the world we'll know. Nipples, milk, fucker.

My hands pluck the things I know that all me. I have all that nipples and fucker from my mind. Can you convince me of murder? Oh, Chicago. That is Chicago. Adel, you ready? Yeah. You're on deck here. Oh. I have a preposterously high housing bill Focker. Can you measure a year of love for me?

I should milk you I should milk you. Oh, you're Focker. I should milk you. No, another time. That's my favorite part. Okay, there you go. I have a human blood-drinking plant, Focker. Can you feed me, Seymour? That'll show. Little shop of nipples, milk, Shabbop. Okay, and this is the last one that she included. I have self-authored fake letters, Focker. Can you wave through a window to me? That's Dear Evan Hansen. Wow, that is Dear Evan Hansen. Aaron, you're strangely silent on that one. I don't fall under the forest. No one else around. Wow, that is dear Evan Hansen Aaron you're strangely silent on that one

No, Aaron we have to sing the best song You have to sing the best song which one I have this baseball glove I punch it once or twice put it in the microwave baseball glove the baseball glove Is that from that? Yeah, I can't remember the lyrics I blocked it from my memory all right well thank you so much I have a game now for you that this is this is a JPC original and I think this game is going to be very difficult so I'm going to tell you the way that this game is played this game is called Barry Barry or Barry so the way that we're going to play this game is I am going to give you a prompt and you have to tell me if

it's Barry, Barry or Barry. So it can either be a Barry, you know, like a fruit that you would eat, someone, an actor from the HBO show Barry or a deceased celebrity who has been buried. So Barry, Barry, Barry. Now the way that you chime in for this game is you say Barry and then you give me your answer, okay? Got it. You guys ready to play?

Yes. Okay, here you go. Bill Hader. Barry. Adel? Barry. Sorry, I can't. Okay, John Candy.

Barry. Aaron. Barry. I don't understand what you're... Straw Barry. Barry. Barry. Adel?

Barry. Barry. Correct. Darryl Britt. Barry. I'm sorry, I heard Adel? Barry. Barry, correct. Uh, Darrell Britt. Barry. I'm sorry, I heard Adel first. Barry? Uh, ooh, that's actually Barry. Uh, Huckleberry.

Barry. Aaron. Barry. That's a Barry. Alejandro first. Barry. Barry, I heard Adel first. It doesn't matter, Adel, you're going to be right.

Hold on, I got to get this right. Uh, Barry, because're gonna be right. Hold on, I gotta get this right. I don't know, because it might be Barry. I think it's Barry. Yes, he was on Barry. Paul and Newsom. Barry. Adel, I heard you just a little bit soon. What is going on?

What is going on? No, an actor from Barry, a gooseberry. Barry. Barry. Aaron. Barry. That is a Barry. You are two for two for Barry's.

Aubrey Hepburn. At Berry. Yes, Aaron. Berry. No, I misspoke. Audrey Hepburn is buried. Aubrey Hepburn is no one. Henry Wakeler. Berry.

Adel. I wanna say he's married. He is, uh, I'll double check that. So he's on Berry. Lincoln Berry. Berry. Aaron. Berry. That is is a Barry you are three for three You don't know what I was saying

Sarah Goldberg very Aaron Barry. Yes, she is one of the female leads on Barry boys in Barry Barry Barry that is a Barry Steven root Barry. Wait. Excuse me. I I wasn't saying Barry. I was buzzing in to say Barry Okay, you have to you have to buzz in before you give your answer. I know. Steven. I'm the one before that. Steven. Steven. In office space. Steven in office space. Scary. Okay. I'm sorry. That is a root vegetable. Not a berry. Dinnis Hopper. Barry. Barry. He's buried. Correct. Goji. Barry. Barry. Barry. That is a berry. You're five for five with Barry. How are you. Correct. Goji Barry. Barry. Aaron?

That is a Barry. You're five for five with Barry. How are you doing this? How are you doing this? She's on a roll. Aaron, is this your dream jeopardy round? Barry. Barry.

That's incorrect. Bernie Mac. Barry. Aaron? Barry. Yes. Correct. Hack. Barry. Aaron? I'm sorry. That's a. Hack Berry. Barry. Aaron. Barry.

I'm sorry, that's a totally big thing to say. But Barry, Bernie Mackey was a very fine comedian. I think calling him a hack Berry. Come on, I'm five. I'm seven for seven. John Reddard. Barry. Aaron.

Barry. Yes, correct. No, Clifford. Yes, I'm sorry, John Reddard is Clifford. Barry. And finally, Darcy Carden. Barry. Barry. Aaron. Barry.

Aaron. Barry. Yes, she is on Barry. Season three of HBO's Barry coming soon. We don't know. The release date has not been announced. Barry, Barry. It will be, it's just right around the corner.

Hey, JPC. I have to ask. Yes. Was the Barry pay you for this promotional plug? I'm willing to be paid by Barry. Hey, JPC. Yes. And I have to tell you, that was very fun. Okay. Okay. You'll love next week when we play No Ho or Hank Williams.

What? Where I give you a neighborhood and you have to tell me, is it a place that Hank Williams plays? It's for the Patreon. Normally we do games this stupid on the Patreon. Yeah, say this for December and we we do games this stupid on the Patreon Yeah, say this for December and we'll play Barry Christmas. Okay, save the judge writ for Gavogavog

Here we go. Here we go. This isn't this is another this is another riddle from Jonathan Jonathan writes Hey guys, I really do love the podcast and every segment is my favorite segment But it's not sarcastic. I read can you read it sarcastically? I really do love the podcast and every segment is my favorite segment. That's not it. That's not it. Can you read it sarcastically? I really do love the podcast. Dude, every segment is my favorite. Thank you. Okay.

I wanted to write a really appuzzied for you guys so I came up with this one. It's kind of shitty, but I hope you enjoy it. Barry. So you think Sweden will enjoy shit? Yeah, that's probably true. And... It's not wrong. Barry has a GED, which is an okay life choice. This is editorializing by Jonathan.

And what's the guess to, again, no judgment? Is seriously the name Barry? Yeah, are you joking? No. I didn't change it. This is another thing where he's going to read a whole riddle and it's going to be revealed at the end. It was JPC the whole time. The. Nothing is the change. This is another thing where he's gonna read a whole riddle and it's gonna be revealed at the end. It was JPC the whole time. The clues are in the description.

I didn't like that. I don't like being tricked. I told you last time the last riddle that we did. I told you who wrote it. It was me. I did the berry game. That, no one else did the berry game. No one else would have done the berry game, but he. Because it's not a game. It's nothing. It's nothing. It's just a thing to do.

It's just words to say, it's nothing. Barry has a GED, which is no K-life choice, and works at a gas station, no choice for it. He got off late and quickly went home to let his dog out. When he got home, he realized it was too late and that his pet, Beetle Shitbird, had also gotten loose. He knew exactly where Shitbird had escaped to,

but he put Shitbird in his terrarium, and then he let his dog outside before cleaning up. Shippard's terrarium was not visible when he got home and Barry has no special insect knowledge. How did he know Shippard had gotten out and where to find him? I'm sorry. It's not that Shippard's terrarium was not visible when he got home. Shippard was not visibly in the terrarium I think when he got home. And Shippard's terrarium was not visible when he got owed. Shippard was not visibly in the terrarium, I think, when he got... And Shippard's the dog? Shippard is his pet beetle.

Beetle. Mm-hmm. Okay. How did he know that Shippard had gotten out and where to find him? Just flying around, the light bulb. Beetles do love the light. The line light, huh? We're all watching that...

Beetle use documentary of the little beetles that I get back. I did watch it. I loved it. I'll be honest. I'll give you shit about the beetles. You should. There's only one good British rock band and it is Oasis, baby. Did you know that Liam Gallagher believes he's the reincarnation of John Lennon? I believe he's the reincarnation of John Lennon. This is confusing.

So he couldn't see his terrarium when he came in. It didn't see the beetle in the terrarium. Yeah, that's how we know he's out of it though. What Jonathan has written was he put Shippard in his terrarium and then let his dog outside before cleaning up. Oh, I'm sorry. I was reading this a little bit wrong. But I'll put it in the extra context.

So, when he got home, he realized it was too late and that his pet beetle, Shipbird had also gotten loose. He knew exactly where Shipbird had escaped to. He knew exactly where Shipbird had escaped. That's important. So, he put Shipbird in his terrarium and then let his dog outside before cleaning up. Shipbird's terrarium was not visible when he got home. So, let's assume it was like in another room or something. And Barry has no special insect knowledge. So, then how did he know when he got home. So let's assume it's like in another room or something. And Barry has no special insect knowledge. So then how did he know when he got home that shitbird had gotten out and where to find him?

The dog had a big beetle bite right on his fucking butthole. Huh. The dog had a big beetle bite, right on his side. The dog was barking. Now, no, no, no. The dog, if the no, no, it was the dog. If the dog was barking, that is not germane to the situation. Oh, the Jackson five.

Thank you. To remain. Clearly this, so this riddle has to be written by this person who sent it because I assume he named the Beatles Shippard after JPC's expression in episode, I wanna say like four or five, when you call it all Shippards. Shippard is my piss wedge.

Um, JPC, I don't know. No, I'm not sure. Shippard is my piss wedge. Yeah, so the, the, really what we're talking about here is that Shippard has escaped from the terrarium. The terrarium's not visible, except Barry knows exactly where Shippard has escaped from the terrarium. The terrarium's not visible, except Barry knows exactly where Shippard is and how to find him as soon as he gets home. Is it a dung beetle?

Adel. And it's just lounging on the dogs' shit. Bingo, bingo, hot a touch. Shippard is a dung beetle. And there was a trail of dung leaving straight to Shippard. Hell yeah. Nice. That dog's shit in the house and shipbird said,

ooh, baby. Yeah, it's something good. I'm so sick. Why? The two of you are dung beetles. You're on a first date. Aaron, you have taken the two of you, you've taken JPC on the first date to a huge pile of dog shit.

So I'm just showing you where we're not eating. And let's keep walking. Oh, wait, what's wrong with this place? Have you been here? Is it not good? Yeah, it's good. I just thought for the first date, there's a friend restaurant that's supposed to be really, really good.

It's on the corner. Oh, okay. We could do like, wine and cheese and a thing. Yeah, no, it's on the corner, because this is right here. I mean, have you not, I mean, because I know that chef, the dog who made it, and I do, I like some of his other work, I must say. Oh, yeah, I just thought maybe because it's our first date

and there's been like a lot building up to this since we've been friends for so long and I thought we could do something special and sort of out of the ordinary. But if you're so starving right now. I'm starving, right? I'm starving, right now. I just looked it up, I was listening,

but I just looked at a 4.8 starts on Yelp. I mean, that's a high Yelp score. So your heart seems like it's pretty set on this. I'm gonna go and run and just make sure they know that I wasn't being rude to ignore the reservation. And maybe if I wanna eat there, maybe we can meet up after dinner, that's probably for the best.

I gotta be honest with you, I'm gonna be pretty full after dinner. Okay. So... We cut to the French restaurant. Bonjour! Which is, you have a reservation? Yes, for two, but I'll be eating alone tonight. Oh No, good marriage married. Um, well as you know, we cannot actually seat just one

We are a French restaurant meaning all of our shit is sourced ass to table from a French bulldog. Oh, I don't want that Oh What did you speak? First asked to table from a French bulldog? Oh, I don't want that. Oh. What did you... Speak? I thought I just thought that this could be different and we could eat human food. Forget it. That's whatever.

Apologies. Maybe I need my glasses. You are a dumb beetle. Fuck you, man. Fuck you. I don't need this. Wait, please leave me alone. You want me?

You want me? You left the restaurant in such a hurry. You forgot your scarf. Oh, thank you. You're very welcome, Amps. Would hate to see a beautiful, long beetle like yourself. Catch a gold in this winter temperature. You're so sweet. Sorry, I'm having such a bad day.

I was supposed to go on a date. And he seemed like the restaurant I picked. And then I just... He didn't... but this is one of the best restaurants in all of the neighborhood. He didn't like this restaurant? No. And we see their antenna start to entwine. No, he didn't. Then he was a...

A dollar, I don't say. A boring dumb beach girl and he did not deserve to dain to walk the same grounds that you walk. Wait a second. Todd. Look, I love that place and if you just try it, it's just like a fight. See you soon. Oh man, that Dung Beechel, honestly, to circle back

and go back on your date after you just ate a big pile of dog shit. That's more reasonable. That's the more miserable. That is the doof. I guess we're ready for one more fricking riddle. Yes, Mr. Steady. Okay, so here we go. Um, this one is from Tino. Tino says love the podcast.

Thanks. Thanks, Tino. Yeah. The day after Halloween, Kevin is pushed off the top of a tin story building. Three facts are known. The impact should have been enough to kill him. He died during the fall, and no one in nothing interrupted his descent.

How is this possible? He fell off the top of a three story 10 building. Is a 10 story building? 10 story building. Yeah. And three facts are known. The three facts of the impact should have been enough to kill him. He died during the fall and no one in nothing interrupted his dissent.

So he fell off the top of the building because he got shot on the top of the building or poisoned. Um, no, no, no, yeah, because I don't know if that would say like interrupted his dissent, but no, he wasn't, he was, he was a very much alive when he was pushed. He died from a descent into madness. Oh Interesting. No that can't kill you. It can only make you stranger. Oh God. Yeah That's your doctor's strange impression. Yeah, that's my doctor's strange love and pressure Okay, our bombs you like a hint? Yeah, is that okay? Yeah, let's see. Maybe I'll just reread the readle.

Readle? Read. Already read. Yeah, the readle. Okay, so the day after Halloween, Kevin is pushed off the top of a 10 story building. Three facts are known. The impact should have been enough to kill him. He died during the fall and no one in nothing interrupted him.

Oh, I think I know it. Oh. What's the guy's name? Kevin. I think Kevin is a scarecrow. I think Kevin died during the fall the season because he's made from dried corn husk. And I think the day after Halloween, they're taking down decorations and somebody just toss them off the roof to Say Yeah, I love that answer sure is that right? I mean no, but I love that answer That's not right. Well the real answer is skeleton the impact should have been enough to kill him because it was enough to kill him He that's how he died he died big is a person who died big shoved of it, did story building. That's true. Yeah, because he died during the fall

and the day was after Halloween. So when it says that he died during the fall, it means he died during the season of fall, but yes, getting shoved off the building, that was more than enough. That was more than enough. That was more than enough. Tino says, Tino says, yeah, I know it's numb.

So thank you so much. Thank you so much Tino. We still love your vodka. We still love your handcrafted vodka, Dino. Say thank you so much for your handcrafted vodka. Um, okay. Aaron, you're okay. No.

What's going on, you seem upset. I'm just annoyed. I just came all the way over here to the podcast. Ah! Ah! Ah! I just came all the way over here and just be like this, just respect it like this. All right.

Aaron, that's fair. We've disrespected you a lot this episode. So you should get to be first. Do you have anything that you would like to plug? I would like to call plug calling your period Clifford getting Clifford your big club. Wow. No, I'm lying. I have nothing to plug.

Oh, I do. Just follow me here and keep 10 on Instagram. I have a podcast that's coming out in February. So if you want to hear more about that, go follow me over there. Hell yeah. Okay. Add all anything to plug. Yes, I want to plug.

I don't know if we've plugged this yet. So I'll go ahead and say it again. Sorry if it's the second time. The three of us guested recently on a podcast called Sound Deals with the hilarious British comedians Max and Ivan. They've been on our show. We just guested on their show recently,

so check that episode out. It should be out now. Oh, I think that's for the second season of their show and it is not out yet, and I don't know when it's coming out. And then I also want to plug another podcast I guess it on. This is by our dear friend Alex Nichols. This is a new podcast he has called Destination Passport.

I had a very good time on that, so please check out Destination Passport and Sound Deals. JPC anything to play? Speaking of shows that we all were on together, we were all also on the last episode of the year for Man Dog Pod. So it's, I think I believe it is a Patreon only episode of their show, but if you don't listen to their Patreon,

you absolutely should, they do have a free show as well. It is, you're, I'm sorry, the episode is absolutely worth it just to hear Aaron do her Nicole Kidman impression. Very funny. And just do Nicole Kidman impression that is very, very, very good. That is Man Dog Pod. You can find it pretty much wherever you find podcasts.

It is from, I guess, half of the teachers lounge crew, Dan Lippert and Ryan Risenberg. I'm a big fan. Big, big. And then you can follow me on Twitter if you can remember what my handle is. Then you can, I give you permission to follow me. But you can also follow me on Twitch that's twitch.tv-shark-parkman. I'm over there playing video games and just fucking having a fun time. And then also listen to the Build Buds podcast. We're doing more pop music reviews because that's what the whole show is. So enjoy that. And check out their Patreon.

JPC, what are you playing on Twitch these days? Dude, you know what? At the very end of last year, I got back into playing Hades. I'll go on the record of saying Hades was my game of the year for 2020. Game of the year for 2021? Gotta give it up to Hades. How is that possible? Very, very narrowly slipped in there at the end of the year.

Game of the year 2021. A strong contender for game of the year 2022. A lot of replayability. Hey, I got to say, companies, game companies out there. You keep putting up really bad games, halo very shitty good very full of bugs playlists are all fucked up Aaron there is a new game. I don't know if you're about this. It's from the creators of Hades and it's versus sort of following mythology It's actually following stellar travel

And there's a Roman God, so I guess it still involves mythology But Aaron super giant games very cool company, so I got go for idea. I know you're gonna die. Good night, sweetheart. Oh, sorry. You're a great idea. I should know, I should know. I should know. Oh, no. What the fuck? Don't tell me. I'm telling you.

We've got already parents in the music. Hey, what's up? We've got a photo created by Emily Cardamus. And Emily DeBora. Hey, no, no, no. What's up, you're a great, a great job. You're a great job. Hey there, scenes and schemes. If you like that, you're going to love this week's Patreon.

We use your suggestions from the scene ideas channel in the discord to do your scenes. You can listen to that plus our entire Batcadilog by joining the Clue Crew for $5 a month or the Review Crew for $8 a month. And at the Review Crew level, you get ad-free episodes. Just go to patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle. See you there!