Hey Riddle Riddle - #186: Quit Grabbing Eagles

Episode Date: February 9, 2022

This week we have special guest Matt Young (Hello From the Magic Tavern Podcast, Dear Earth, I'm Really Sorry Podcast) on to nerd out on Majora's Mask, pretend to be in the Chicago Fire, teach Smokey the Bear a lesson and bring back everyone's favorite blue wizard....WIZZY!!! Hitch a ride on the nearest bird, it's time for Hey Riddle Riddle! Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Special Guest Matt Young Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. Hello from Hey Riddle Riddle. I'm your host, Aaron Keif. Four and a half, three and a half years ago I got asked to do a riddle podcast by Alunatic. In another crazy guy said yes to. And now I'm here. Here are my co-host. The first one is Adel. I'm a widow boy. And here's JPC. Uh, they call me JPC local perverts, nobias. What of us? I've also known the Twitch streamers as that asshole who never showers before a stream. The wives, nobias, you're being too loud.

The Nobius you're being too loud Uh, the... No, you're in a rental Was that what you wanted there? Are you happy now? I'm sorry, I got nervous I got nervous and panic You got nervous, I got Adolfi

We just didn't we- And I'm Aaron Keith We just did that Fine Just did it Fine, whatever Hey listen, we have a very special guest on. Speaking of dumb intras, we have a very special guest on. That's what I want the two of you to do.

Okay. Okay. I want you to try and recite his full name as per what he's best known for. Matt. Yeah. Matt, that's it. Our guest is Matt. Yeah.

Thank you. Yeah, Matty, thank you so much for being on. How are you doing? I'm great. And I'm really excited to do this show. Finally, I love Hey, Riddler, Riddler. It's so nice. It's said like you read that like someone was holding a gun to your head. A Riddler, Riddler. That's what's called right.

Yeah. And then my favorite show. Matt, it's a real honor to have you here because I fancy myself the use-a-door of Hey, Ridd, red all red all. Yeah, everyone likes you Exactly. Why did you do that? Why did you make me do that whole thing? Well, GPCs obviously chant the talking Badger or whatever and then you were a pink polo to most recording. So you're the Arnie. I'm correct. Yeah I was just talking to someone last week about the show, trying to explain hello from the magic tavern, which is always a daunting task

for people who don't know the show. And it's like, I start with a big sigh. I was going, I always go, I start with a big sigh. I can't play some self, and yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Every podcast you start with sigh. And then, but I did say, like, you don't have to like it, it doesn't fucking matter.

I do that a lot with people on airplanes or something, or if someone's making small talk and they're like, what are you doing on my podcast? I'm like, oh, what did I say that? I should just set a counting. And they inevitably ask like, what podcast I do? And hey, Riddle is very easily be like, hey, Riddle is like a riddle show, riddle whatever.

And then with Magic Tavern, I'm like, here's the premise. A guy falls into a portal behind a Burger King and immediately their eyes glaze over. And I can see in their head them doing the calculations of like, this fucking nerd, this show has like two listeners and it's him and it's like his cardboard cutout wife. And they always leave me like, they always leave me like, that's so cute. Good luck with your little show and it's like I'm so sorry

I'm so sorry Matt We didn't just bring you on here to talk about annoying people With describing podcasts. We also want to know how do you feel about riddles? What is your relationship with riddles and not just riddles but puzzles in general lateral thinking problems? I assume my guess is you played like, missed as a kid, I don't know. Yeah, no, all my puzzle solving definitely comes through video games.

Oh yeah. It's like a big like Zelda fan, because I liked the adventure mixed with puzzle sort of genre in general. Mm-hmm. I never finished missed. At the time, missed came out. I think I had just started college and my dad had it on his computer at home, but I'm old enough that I didn't have a computer at college. So I was like, oh, that looks cool and I'd

love to play it, but I never got to. I like puzzles and I do like lateral thinking things Specifically riddles though seem like dumb bad jokes a lot of the time. Oh, yeah Yeah, and I'm bad at I'm really bad. I so Matt look right at me when he said that I yeah, yeah Did you write your college papers with a quill? I I have a lot of money. My senior year, between senior year of high school and my freshman year college, to buy a brother word processor. It was like an actual big typewriter. They had a little screen that was like two lines of text and you could save like I don't I don't know five one megabytes one megabyte of information on it on a disk drive in it And it was like and then you put paper in it like a typewriter and printed it out one page at a time

I think I have one of those it's a label maker Yeah, it's a label maker. Yeah, it was basically like a huge label maker Honestly, right it was a nightmare. It's so. Yeah, it's two lines of text on a screen at a time is a fucking terrible way to edit a paper. Do you have, and this might be too specific, Matt, do you have a specific riddle or puzzle from a Zelda game that sticks out of you as like,

this was very satisfying to solve or like this was challenging or this was uh uh still out to you in some way. Um, I'm trying to think, I mean there's so many good ones. I mean, I really liked, I really liked Majora's mask the entire game because it's like you're living the same three days over and over again. And it's the puzzle of like, what do you do on the different day? What do you do on the same days that's different each time?

You just take like one item back with you and then like live those days again. I love that whole premise. I'd seem like I never played that one. I always knew it. It's great as like a Not a kid, but as like a 15 16 17 year old. I always knew it as like the creep 19 19 19 20 20 20 22. Stop. No, no, don't hit. I always knew it as the creepy moon game. Yeah, I would see the cover and be like, oh, it's a creepy moon, but I never played it. Well, the whole premise is the whole time that creepy moon is coming crashing down on the town.

You have three days until the moon crashes into the world and kills everyone. I didn't know that. That makes it even more terrifying. Yeah, it's a creepy-esque game. The moon is coming for us. Yeah, tell me you won. Those, no, we're all gonna die.

Yeah, you did not meet us. This is the end of the third day, Aaron. I'm sorry, God damn it. I love that Majora's Mask was like an Ender's Game for Matt Young, or it's like, play this Zelda game. Yeah. He's ready for an improv podcast. Okay.

Those loop games are so popular now. I feel like every game goes for those loop angles and, uh, honestly, more of them can. I love, I love a loop. I fucking love a loop. It's my favorite candy for my brain. One of my favorite is on, on, on Switch. I, it might be elsewhere, but on Switch is a game called Minute. Am I, and I, I believe, and your guy only lives for a minute and then he dies.

And you have to like open up portals or get to a new safe spot or whatever it is. But it's so fun because you know every round, you just have a minute before your guy dies and it's how much you can scramble to do before he does, it's really satisfying. That's fun. That sounds fun.

That's true, but no. What also sounds fun is let's do a little warm-up riddle. See? Aaron grabbed onto the talons of an eagle. She said the word zoom, but then he'll really drop to the ground dead. Oh, God, I see. She's dusting herself off. She's covered in an eagle blood. Yeah, Aaron. Aaron just bam-bam the eagle through her frame, just smacking it from side to side decide to side Eagle feathers flying out of here and I tried my best I love it someone's like jogging by you in a park you jump on their back and yell zoom

Just go crashing around How fucking badass would it be if you caught a bird like that in public and you said zoom before you did it Just one leg you wink as you fly away. Okay, sorry, I'm here, I'm here unfortunately. Speaking of fly away, here's our first warm up riddle. I fly when I am born. Lenny Kravitz. Hold on.

It's absolutely Lenny Kravitz, but hold on. Okay. I fly when I am born, but as an adult, I have a nose ring. I think I have a daughter and was married to lethal in A. What am I? Zoe? Is that his daughter, right? Yeah, yeah.

Must be. Yes. I fly when I am born, I lay when I am alive, and I run when I am dead. What am I? I fly when I am born, I lay when I am alive, and I run when I am dead. What am I? Also, was that a Sinatra song? I don't know. I am dead.

Hey Zoe Kravitz. Stay cool, look at Shig. Oh God, what the fuck is this? So, wait, what's the middle one again? I lay when I am alive and I run when I'm dead, okay? Is any of this gambling related? Because those all kind of sound like terms with like dealing cards or throwing dice or something.

No, it's not. But I do want to call for a first scene. JPC, you are a gambler at a casino. You are, I want to use the word degenerate. You're a degenerate gambler. That's my willhouse. You've been making bets that are not actual bets. Matt, you are the, we'll say blackjack dealer at the table.

And Aaron, if you ever feel the need to come in, you will be the pit boss here to sort of put out any fires. If I find a voice, I will be there. Hahaha. Gentlemen has an eight. Alright, there are two fried eggs on it. Make it greasy and let's shoot for sevens all over the moon. Okay.

That's a two. Gentlemen has ten total. Gentlemen has ten total. Let's split these hot dogs open and mix them up with some mustard and catch up on the plate. You 500 more. 500 more what? I like to hit.

Do you want to hit or not? Yes, of course. Okay. That's a 10. Can I open up three more? Can I open up three more? Spots on the table? You can. Okay, it's 5 a.m. I don't think more? Can I open up three more? Spots on the table? You can.

Okay, it's 5 a.m. I don't think anyone's gonna sit down. Okay, good. I'd like to open up three more spots on the table. Okay, great. So now I have nine games going. Okay. Okay.

I'm gonna get up in pace. And what do I have here? Yeah, that's a 10, you have 20. All right, cancel this one. Let's do, let's cancel this hand. Okay. Uh... Fools?

What's that? Fold? Just cancel it. I'll put in two more. I'll start two more games. Okay, if you want to cancel it, it's easier to fold. If you want to cancel it,

you have to fill out this one. Hey Joey, is this guy bothering you? No, he's not. Wait, your name's Joey too? I'm Joey Wood, honestly. I've been Joey my whole life. I would see you more as a Joey too. Well, obviously the pit boss is talking to me, you know what? Did he fill out the paperwork he should?

Well, if he wants to cancel this hand, he's got to fill out the paperwork. Come on, I'm a big fish here. I spend a lot of shrimp. Do I have to fill out the paperwork? Can't this be? Sir, we have been begging you to stop bringing in fish as payment. It is for not an acceptable form of currency. A shrimp art fish.

It brings in a smell. That's a good station. Can we all just agree that shrimp art fish though? You're right, I'm a spoke. This guy should have to pay for it. No. No? No. I'm gonna break this guy should have to pay for it No No, no, I'm gonna break your legs if you don't get up from the table Hold I I know you must get this question a lot. Are you three dogs wear a trench coat? Yes?

scene, but they know about it Okay, we know about each other They're not it. I love the idea of as you you play Blackjack, at any given time, you can be like 500 more. I have it more what? It seems like my hand's gonna be pretty good. Oh, I like to double. I fly when I am born, I lay when I am alive, and I run when I am dead, what am I?

America runs on Duncan. Is that anything? Is that good of something? That's something. Rain. Here's what I'll say. I have a fountain. I fly when I'm born, but the rest of it doesn't make sense.

Maddy, you're not far off. Here's a colder, colder. Literally, here's what I'll do. I'm going to say one other warm up riddle I had in the bank that I wasn't going to use, but the answer to this warm up riddle is the exact same as the first riddle I gave you. So here's the second clue, which is a full other riddle. What?

What falls in winter, but never gets hurt. A leaf. Well, hold on, Aaron. Yeah, we just got hurt all the time. Now, that is correct, ding, ding, ding. I fly when I am born, I lay when I'm alive, and I run when I'm dead it is snow Hold on I'd like to examine what Aaron was saying

If leaves can't get hurt then what the fuck am I doing for 12 hours a day when you're crunching those leaves? You're telling me that doesn't hurt them at all. No, they feel nothing that I'm wasting my time basically Yeah, we knew that shit We're trying to give all those small animals a break from you. Oh man. And also what Canadian rapper sings in former, the answer to all three of us know. Here's another riddle. And this is, I gotta say, this is one of my,

one of the better riddles I've ever read, in my opinion, in my home opinion. So let's read it and see if you agree. Did the riddles like Adela's handsome, Adela's smart. So you you read it You are smart you are kind you are important What part what part of your body disappears when you stand up? What part of your body disappears when you stand up?

your body I I think I actually know the real answer I hate to like come on this podcast and ruin the format by answering a riddle What do you mean? Hold on let's let's go off. Let's go off Mike Casey Soppish, um, Matt what the fuck are you doing? What hold up Aaron?

So JBC you said penis Aaron you said but Matt you seem to have a real answer what part of your body disappears when you stand up You did it. You did it. You did it. You did it. You did it. You did it. You did it. You did it. You did it. You did it. You did it. You did it.

You did it. You did it. You did it. You did it. You did it. You did it. You did it. You did it.

You did it. You did it. You did it. You did it. You did it. You did it. You did it. You did it. You did it. down you can see the bottom of your feet. I guess not if your feet are flat ground. Ignore me zoom. I want to see a scene. Aaron, you're sort of like one of those, uh, inside. Aaron, you know, disappears when I stand up the top of my head because all the ceilings in here are so short. You know, it disappears when I sit down as my appetite.

Aaron, you're gonna, you're one of those like, joky uncles or aunts. So you're like, you're constantly like, where are the kids at? Let me tell them these jokes are like, I have your nose or whatever that is. So you're that JPC and Matt, you are Aaron's nephews and this is some sort of holiday where Aaron is sort of, holding court in the room and you two are exhausted by it.

It's cool because you live the same three days over and over and then... Hi, Hungry! I'm on! Did you guys just say you're hungry? No, I was showing Jake and Jorah's mask. Pull my finger. Do, do we have to? Yes! My sister is your mom.

I'll do it. I don't know why my brother was showing me a video game. Because I thought you'd think it was cool. Okay, yeah, I mean it is cool. I like that. I mean, I loved Ocarina's time, so I'm sure I'd love this. Uh, I'll- Fart noise? Oh shoot. I did it too soon

Do it again. Well, are you gonna just make a fart noise? Yeah, you're just gonna make a fart noise. We pull your finger What's black and white and red all over? Dead zebra oh my god. Oh, there's paper with newspaper. No, penguin with a sunburn. Someone murdered a zebra. Oh my god. What kind of violent video games are you playing? Petroias. A Majora's mask, but I just finished zebra hunter. Is it cool?

Yeah, can we play it? Fuck ton of zebras. You want to watch us play it? Fuck yeah, I want to watch you play it. Actually, I can do you boys one better. I know a guy who lets you kill as beddies, he presents you one. Get out of here. I know I know a guy.

Don't tell your mom. Are they open on Christmas? Are they open on Christmas? It's the biggest damn year. Why don't we sneak out? Can you sneak us out? You gotta go today. Yeah, I'll sneak you out.

Hungry? I'm odd. Did you guys see your See You do know the best dad joke which is high blank. I'm dad. Yeah, I'm tired. Hi tired. I'm dead. Yeah. Oh, brother. Oh, brother. Uh, boy, oh boy. Now I want to see this farm with all the kids. I hope they go. Well, circle back to it if we have time. Uh, outstanding.

Uh, let's get into our full course, main entree riddles. Here we go. This is going to be our first one. A man, a man ran into a fire and lived. A man stayed where there was no fire and died. Good for him. What caused this? Chubris. Smoked.

The hubris of mad. This is a Greek fable. A man ran into a fire and lived. A man stayed where there was no fire and died. What caused this? a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had a man who had Okay, so you were wavering so I assumed that he was hit by a Honda element He died watching the FFL he didn't die in elements. He died by the elements. Yes. Yes. Yeah, he died He died watching FF element, especially when Chris Tucker's character went Adults come big old house everybody catching these Eagles See you avoid getting dead stopped on the show. This is what you've done to us

Okay, the fire. Hello. Is this Gwen Fry? What are you doing? I guess Joe Walsh would have been the better man. It seemed like you had something working. Uh, no, that's wrong. Uh, the guy who has, who goes into the fire lives because he's already made a fire, I guess. That's the only thing I can think of. And the other guy was also made a fire. The other guy drowned. The other guy drowned. No oxygen.

Yes, the two, Matt, you suspect part of it. The two men are the human torch and the thing. Is that true? Are you lying? No, I'm lying. Okay. The man who ran into the fire lived, but by that, it's the metaphorical lives. Like he truly felt alive while he was burning alive.

Sure. Yeah. So is this a burning building or is this like a you said he says run into the fire. But is this like like walking on hot coals? Are you just like jumping over a fire? Um with with the man who ran into the fire, would it kill most normal men? No. Okay. Okay. Is it the the Chicago soccer team? Fun. Just ran into the fire and was like, hey, what are you guys up to? You guys are my favorite.

Yeah, Matt, if a single person on Earth died from the jealousy of not going to Chicago Fire Game, I'll give that family a million dollars. I wonder if you have a million dollars. You're ruined. I wonder if these guys aren't in uniform. If I ran into the Chicago fire, I would know that I ran into the Chicago fire.

I feel like that's a fun new power move is like anywhere you go. Just be like, I'm on the Chicago fire. And nobody's going to doubt you. Just carry a soccer ball with you. Yeah. Everywhere you go. I want to see a scene. Matt, you are a member of the Chicago Fire Soccer team in Chicago.

You're in plain clothes. Not that it matters, but you're in plain clothes and you're trying to. You don't want to. So they can't see my badge. Yeah. You don't want to, but you're trying to kind of throw your weight around of like, I am a professional athlete in Chicago. JPC, you're a coffee shop, barista, and Matt's trying to, you know, big time you and you're, you don't recognize it. Gotcha. Hey, how's it going today? Great, welcome to Grace. How can I help you? I'll just take a, I'll just take a latte. Home milk. Okay. Yeah, sure sure no problem whole milk latte anything else in it no that's it okay 55 and it's just you insert the card or touch it touch it to this great that's funny I'm Adrian Adrian Brady I'm Josh nice to meet you holy shit from the pianist no Brady Adrian Brady I get that a lot though

Too, my bad. Sorry. Not Adrian Brody Adrian Brady. Oh, okay. Yeah, I didn't think Adrian Brody because you didn't say that And you don't look anything like him. Yeah No, I'm Adrian Brady Adrian Brady from the Brady bunch help me out here cuz I obviously look what watch this? Obviously, look, watch this. Okay. Oh, fuck, oh, rock, fuck, my nose, fuck. Yeah, that's how I do it. You just, you just threw a sugar holder at that woman's nose. Ma'am, are you okay?

Yeah, I'm okay. Wait, that is, that's the woman from, that's a lady from Brady Brunch. Hi. We get her nose broken, Brun Brunch, yeah. That's you. Yeah, Brady Brunch, it was a short-lived TV show Ma'am I'm so sorry about that. We'll comp you a latte. We'll comp you a free latte for the trouble. I'm so sorry about that

What the fuck dude you can't do that you can't just throw you can't just throw shit or head or shit He kicked it. He headed head. Yeah, he had to get me. Yeah, I had kicked it into her. What why do you hold on? Why don't we all recognize that as a kick? Yeah, you kick it up and then you hit it with your head like in soccer Kick it up. Yeah, okay. Okay. Fine. It's on a famous soccer player here in town I'm sorry. You're a famous soccer player here in town. Yeah Well, this is you know this is the United States. I don't think we have famous soccer players. Adrian Brady. Oh, I see.

What team do you play for? The fire. OK, I'm in the Google to see if that's a real team. What the fuck, dude? Oh, that's a Chicago team. Yeah. A professional soccer team that I'm on. OK.

I demand to receive a free latte tall hot coffee for an Adrian Brody God, that's me if he's in here and musical guest You've been born outrody out how it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been saying it's been Barista who a I will say well-known Chicago based comedian used to come into their coffee establishment all the time and Do that same thing where they would like demand a free coffee and they knew who the person was But they were like he just never paid and like it was awkward every time I feel like no real celebrity would do that. I feel like that's like Randy Quaid in below like that's the people who would pull that shit Can you say which celebrity or no? Yeah, I mean we'll take it out, but it was

That shit to yourself dude I mean You got to be able to pay for your own coffee No, no! No! No! Oh no! I mean, you gotta be able to pay for your own coffee. Yeah. Here's the thing, here's the thing about getting something comped that I truly believe. If somebody comps you something, you just say thank you for it, but you never go and expect it. Like, you always have to, you can graciously accept it, but like, to go down and be like, I'll take a coffee

is like, no, no, no, for wrong energy, wrong energy. Well, and if you get calm something, then tip 200%. Yeah. Yeah. Like just be like, oh, well, here's all the money I would have spent anyway.

Exactly. Now you just have it. Now it's, yeah. Now it's for you. You just have my money. Welcome back to How to Be a Good Person with Matt, yeah? This week we're covering coffee shops. How to be a good person with Matt young this week recovering coffee shops how to be a good person in a coffee shop Speaking of coffee shops a man ran into a fire and oh the answer is coffee shop

No, I mean stay where there was no fire and died. What caused this? So JPC someone was on the right track. Was he getting fired? He wasn't getting fired damn But the fire, as he ran towards the fire, he, like you asked, it would not kill the normal person. Yeah. Circus. It's not impressive that this man he ran towards fire. And now, is it the same fire that was abs, was the fire the cause of death from the other person

was the absence of fire, the cause of death of the other person? No. So a byproduct from the fire killed the other person. Okay. So the man who lived was a fireman trying to save the man who died of smoke inhalation. No, my dear man, the boy who lived was Harry Potter. It's a yes or no question. Oh, I'm sorry.

No. A man? I'm sorry. a man moved towards the fire and lived and then a man stayed where they was no fire and died. But it's not a heat thing. Is this a volcano? Is this like a getting covered in ash from a volcano? No. Is it a sex thing?

Mad, it's always a sex thing. I always forget to ask that and it's always the answer. No, but it was, I mean, you're on the right track in terms of what killed the man who didn't go towards the fire was a byproduct caused by the fire. Would this be like a forest fire and someone's like, oh shit, we gotta get out of here. Let's go. I wanna see a scene.

Matt, you are Smokey the Bear. Aaron, you are Smoky the Bear. Aaron, you are Smoky the Bear's date. You two are on a date in the forest. You're like on a picnic and a fire breaks out. And Matt, you are Smoky the Bear panic. You forget all your teachings. And Aaron, you have to sort of come through the rescue. So yeah, I have three sys.

Sorry, should we deal with that? Oh, well, you know, I'm off work right now. Right. You know, I'm more than just a spokesperson, you know, I also like to cook. Great. And then I started doing some woodworking. Well, there won't be much more wood to work with if we let this fire rage I'm funny too. Good point. So the first thing we should do is Roll is roll first. I feel like that's for when you're on fire

Right. We all yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah rolling Rolling for when you're on fire. You're not on fire. are you? Not yet. Are you just rubbing these sticks together? Are you trying to make a fire right now? I mean, I'm trying to kindle a flame. That is very hot and cool. But I feel like you're maybe panicking. Are you not like a fire expert? Okay, well, here's the thing.

I'm an actor. I play a role on TV where I tell people, you know, how to put out force fires, but that doesn't necessarily mean that translates into I've had all the training. I went through it. I went through it like a day long thing where they sort of like walk me through it. And there was some very cool fireman there. I met a fire where I went out of fire pole, but I've never put out firemys. Oh fuck. Okay, let's see. Well, you put on your profile that you could put out fire, so I'm just going to put on this point. People expect that, you know, it's hard to be smoky.

Are you using me as a shield? Please, someone help, my boo-boo! My boo-boo's on fire! Oh, that's my ex! Yogi, get out of here! Please, it's on now, I'm on fire! Oh no! Oh!

Look, if we're gonna die here in this forest fire, I just have to know one thing. Would you have become Mrs. Smoky if we had lived? I don't know. I still have a thing for Yogi his voice Seen It's that voice. It's that voice that melodious tones So what what are we things going on here? So what, what are the things going on here? Smoke inhalation, that's the real killer.

A collab. This is, this is one of the best answers so far. We're getting... I said that first. Did you? Interesting. Is it carbon monoxide? Uh, that is, it is carbon, uh, yeah.

Carbon dioxide. Okay. Wait, hold on. No, yeah, carbon dioxide. Okay. Wait, hold on. No, yeah, carbon dioxide, I guess as well, right? Like, we can't breathe carbon dioxide. Yes, you're right, yeah, carbon monoxide. Is it a candle? It was Jack B. Then we'll Jack B. Quick.

So I think it is the fire, the light for the smoke alarm? No, it's an actual fire. I think you, I think you pretty much got it. I'm gonna go ahead and give it to you guys. So wait, is it a smoke alarm? Is it that there was a fire and the person okay you just give it to us so the wow I saw someone die behind the eyes I never know anything like that before in my life gave up midsens died to die die died behind the eyes that the two men were working in a small room protected by a carbon dioxide gas fire extinguisher

system when a fire broke out in the next room. One of the men ran through the fire and escaped with only minor burns. The other one stayed in the room until the fire extinguisher's kicked in and he died of oxygen starvation. So pretty intensive answer. What's that silence? Did you feel it? Why do they have to be in the same room?

The... Why did another guy go with him? That's what's the story there. I don't know, I'm not gonna- He's like, fuck it, I'm gonna wait it out. I just feel like Riddles, where the answer has to be like, well, they're in a very special little room,

but only just the brittle. It's like, come on, that's the name of this podcast. It's a very special little room. I would like to come on. I like the name of this podcast is a very special little room. Um, uh, Adal, you are a guy who survived a thing. Um, we can pick whatever it is. And what am I playing? The guy, the guy that you're, that's funny. And the guy that you're with died and you're telling the story to your friends at a bar. And they're like, well, I'm really confused about why the other guy had to die. Gotcha. So there we were, backed up against the brick wall, right?

And the spotlight's right on us. And it's getting hot, right? And so we start to sing, you know, the spotlight on us, we figure we'll sing, right? So we're singing, we're dancing, we both have top hats and canes. We're doing the whole rigmarole, right? Curtains down, audience goes fucking nuts, right?

Oh, Curtains open, audience is still applauding. There's Derek, after the curtains open, there's Derek. That is a don up. Oh my God, how did you react? I took a bow. What? I took a bow, right? Cause I'd be rude not to acknowledge

the audience going crazy. And then when the curtain close for a second time, I kind of dragged him off stage. What? Steven, I don't want to be rude, but I don't. Then don't. I don't know that they were going crazy because of your performance as much as there was a dead guy there.

No, these people, you know, when you see a great Broadway show and everyone's pointing and screaming, that's what it was. It's every actor's dream. Yeah, a lot of people go, oh my god, oh my god, he's dead, right? Yeah, we killed a lot of people point and scream it into the woods, you're right. No, what the fuck are you talking about? They're pointing screaming in a dead body, Steven. Oh, well what we did is right before we went on for the final number, right This is a joke right? Well hold on. This is how you're telling me my

husband. No no. No. I don't want to call you Mrs. Derek because that'd be insensitive. No. No. No. Miss Derek. Why do you get out of this insensitive? Before we hit the stage we did you know we did what you're supposed to do, which is we had a two ad bill. One was dipped in cyanide. We did the old shell game. We mixed them up. What are each pick? So we had a 50, 50 chance of living. You've never, you don't know, brother, you never, hold on. There's why did, why did you came over? Why did you hand me this American flag all folded? What is this about? Oh, I found that on the sidewalk outside. Well, it wasn't a sidewalk. It was up a pole But I put it down and I folded up and it made an excellent

Eventually it was on the sidewalk, but yeah We're looking at some of the hair sound. There's three things there's three things you don't do one Broadway Number one you never say Hamlet you say that Scottish plate Okay, wait what what you never say Hamlet you say that Scottish plate. What's the second thing? Number two, okay, you never ever Turn your back during the intermission, okay, and number three You never perform the finale of into the woods without one person taking cyanide those are I don't write the rules What do you mean turn your back to the intermission of the audience?

I don't write the rules. What do you mean turn your back to the intermission of the audience? You know what it means don't play dumb. You know what it means. I played King George and Hamilton for four years on Broadway I've never heard any of this shit. Wow must be nice Must be nice. Is that your Lamborghini out front? That is my Lamborghini out front seriously must be nice Well, the rules don't adhere to Lin-Manuel Miranda Because you know these got all that in canto money hold on hold on. I'm sorry. You think this is Lin-Manuel Miranda I think Lin-Manuel Miranda played King George. Yeah, Lin-Manuel Miranda King George. No, you wrote himself into the king role No, no, what? You you were you were acting on Broadway with my husband.

Oh, well, that I wouldn't use those words. Because I don't act, I am. I was being with your husband. Another round? Do we want another round of drinks? Are... Oh, you're the guy from the really scary production of... The play started. Go ahead, sweetheart sweetheart into the woods

well Aaron with that beautiful performance I think we're gonna go to intermission we're gonna bring down the curtains But audience don't turn your back on us. We'll be right back with more really fucking scary Hey jpc Yeah Hey, GPC. Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Addle. And I'm setting up a website to prank him.

Okay. I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Addle. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online. Whether you're just starting to get your own I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Apple. Spare your spaces to all in one website platform for entrepreneurs to stay in doubt

and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website. It engaged with your audience. And so anything for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here.

Come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace

you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and Inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money What is happening? Okay, um wait what's going on with that? Oh? Nothing nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal square space website not a prank thing new

He's gonna kill you and I'm gonna use analytics use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website, the prank site to love you. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for?

I can't remember what the website was for. The website is for. Frank. With Squarespace. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine.

Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial And when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain Oh, she's back. She's back. Hey Aaron. Hey Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked But how I don't know This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey Adel and JPC, thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here.

I am sort of at an empaths. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, have there never truly is a middle of the woods? No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it.

Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually, so as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try better help. Have you heard of this?

You seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow.

Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Mmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did.

And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Dirty bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Oh, dirty bread crumbs.

Mm hmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. H-E-L-P dot com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space

in the LRJ PC. I'm hoping at home. Bye, baby. I am home. Who are we? What is this? I clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to... What is this? I, clink, clink, clink.

Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday, and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Bunny. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well.

Mm-hmm. Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, kling, kling, kling, kling. Oh, sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you.

And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Click, click, click. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off over three million. Over three million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year.

We love rockets down here. Stop, clink, clink, stop. No, clink, clink, clink, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwirted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney dot com slash riddle that's rocket money dot com slash riddle rock at money dot com slash riddle and tell them JPCs birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like And we're back in Aaron. I have a very special surprise for you. What's up? You know your

favorite wizard. You know who that is. He's on the show today. Okay. Hold on. The cookie crisp wizard was killed. We made sure of that. That's canon. That's canon. I'm talking about wizzy. This happens every so often that adult thinks that I want one of you to pretend to be my childhood imaginary friend. Aaron! Aaron, it's me, wizzy!

You have to hide this gun. I killed the cookie crisp wizard, Aaron. Good. I sent you. And you made sure he was dead I can't go back Aaron. I can't go back to jail making a killer checking it twice That's what I taught you wizzy go. They love me there. I have never had moments peace Aaron Aaron tell a joke wizzy you're the coolest guy in jail. Fuck you man. I'm reading a book Aaron who would win a fight between you Sador and was he oh?

That's a really good question. I think I don't know if you know about this But Aaron in her youth had an imaginary wizard friend named Wizzy who was basically Dumbledore I died in the hill that I invented Dumbledore as a child I had to walk around my neighbors tree three times and then he took me to a magical school And his name was Wizzy any more blue cloak like some wizard I know around my neighbor's tree three times and then he took me to a magical school and his name was Wizzy. Any more blue cloak? Like some wizard I know.

Aaron, have we ever touched on how fucking lame it was that your magic friend took you to school? Probably. You touched on how lame a lot of me is. You guys talk about how lame I am. Have you go anywhere by imagination even school what what do you do at the school was it a match was it a

magical school or was it like math worksheets fucking do geometry it is honestly it was a mix of both because he wanted me to be well rounded uh-huh uh-huh was he

um I think that uh you store would win in a fight of course was he sort of had like I I didn't name this or know this as a child but looking back at his personality he definitely was like a stoner uh... uh... like a spikollita

yeah it was like slow just slower like you store way more powerful way more like with it in a week uh... did this did this wizard look like jeff bridges and did he hate the fucking eagles may be waiting a minute it was my neighbor it was my neighbor. It was my Aaron do you have something prepared? For what I don't know I thought earlier you were like I have something Oh, I didn't do it. I didn't do it in Johnny's episode, but I guess I can start it now

What it makes sense to do with this up. Yeah, we'll figure it out ready Yeah, this segment is called out. Ready? Yeah. This segment is called, tell us something we don't know. Ooh. And then Matt tells us a story or an anecdote about Adel that we don't know about you. Oh, this is a great segment. I'm glad we didn't go on.

Yeah, it's interesting. It's interesting. And this is kind of fun because Matt has to now scramble. Yeah, but he can ask if it's like something we do know. He can just say anything you want. For a fun little story, that only Matt would know. Or at least that you, if you wouldn't know. I mean, this could be when Magic Tavern was on tour.

Yeah. Because we've already gotten Adel's perspective. He's always talking about how like Matt's so organized. He puts all this stuff together. And he has lots of folders. I should talk you all the time, Matt, on this podcast. I'm always like, this motherfucker, Matt Young, is the most organized dude I've ever met. He's always, it prepared. He's also the eat-over flies. I am very organized, but I'm most scrambling to be that organized. It's like a,

it's out of fear. That I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, that playing a little bit less. I was doing a play or something. And I kind of came back and we, I was like, oh, who's this guy doing this show with us? And I was like talking to him backstage and I, you know, this is like 2008 or something and I was being very gregarious the way I think I'm being like very oh look at me being so nice to this new kid. Yeah, his name was Greg Areos. I was like oh so what are you doing? He's like oh I'm on this team this team this team this team this team this team and I was like oh you do a lot more than I do. Why should I be acting like I'm doing you a favor by talking. You're like, hello little boy. I knew you were like, I was like, oh, comedy.

I want to make sure he feels comfortable and take care of him and do all this stuff, which isn't a bad instinct, but it also is a little probably came off pretty condescending because. Don't worry, I did the same thing to Adel and he was one of my teachers. I feel like when I first started playing with world news, it was one of my favorite shows that I owe so it was very much

I was definitely like a wilting flower in the green room So I think whenever I saw like you or Arnie or To the biggest loud mouth Fucking or yeah or Marla or you know, there's there's people where I was just like as they talked to me I'd be like oh, I don't want to interrupt or I'm so sorry, because I think with World News, we used to only, and all four of us were at some point members of World News, but I think when people first sat in, it was only the second act.

Yeah. So I remember it was me and Amy Phillips, who is now, I think like a mega podcaster, I think she does like a real housewives podcaster something. Cool. But it was me and Amy Phillips. Yeah, she must be big If you're so familiar with what she fucking does. I just don't watch reality. I will be besides She's right. I don't watch rights, but I know she's a big deal

But me and her started at the same time and I remember so we don't even play a second act And so we'd watch the first act and then we go backstage It was very Authenticating we weren't a part of the first half and so we have to go after you guys crush We have to go back there and be like, we're also playing, and like, very good job, and like, I'm so sorry that I can't participate in this whole act. But none of us thought we were crushing it, it was all like, oh fuck, I fucked up this thing, and I should have hesitated and blah, blah. And then we're like, oh cool, people, fun people, and like, I did always feel it need to be like, oh, I want to make these people feel welcome and talk to them and like include them in scenes and stuff.

Which was great, which was very apparent. And like, I feel like you always secure me. So I appreciate that. But, you know, I think it was just like, probably at that point, we'd already been playing together four or five years, because the beginning of that show too was like, I didn't know anybody. I didn't know.

It was like Jason put together that group of people. The only person I knew was Arnie. I, this is something you don't know. It's not about Adolf, but I'm pretty sure that Jason approached Arnie, Jason Chin who's the director and creator of World News tonight. He approached Arnie in the hallway

of the old IO downstairs and was like, hey, I'm putting together a show, it's a news-based thing. I really think you're really funny. I think I was kind of standing behind Arnie in the hallway, it's like during a Harold show. I think you're really funny. I think it was kind of like standing behind Arnie in the hallway, it was like during a herald show. And he goes, and he goes, and he goes like, I really like for you to come and be in it.

And then he kind of saw me and he's like, oh, you can come too. Oh. And that changed your life. I honest, I honest to God think it is just like a total fucking circus chance circumstance that I happen to be standing there when you're talking to Arnie.

It's proximity. That is, that is. And Ar but I don't know that he would have, honestly. That's not saying I always I'm always jealous because by the time I joined World News, there was a legend and lore of you playing a character I want to say called Jerry Zumba What I have nothing for questions was it Jerry Zumba or something? It sounds vaguely familiar you played some sort of aerobics instructor And I feel like anytime we do a show in the green room before the show everyone would talk ad not seem about Jerry They're like remember when Matt played Jerry Zumba? And it would be for like eight years,

that's already been talked about long after you left the show. So, Well now I know what I'm doing if time travel exists. You're back to the first big creation. You're all new. I mean, I can, I don't remember this exactly, but I can extrapolate it

and backwards engineer it right now. I can carry to you what happened is we got an article about Zumba when Zumba was new. And a big fat Matt young went out on stage and just fucking went for it. And was like, I'm gonna dance my ass off for five minutes and name myself Jerry Zumba. For Furny and Treppet young improvisers out there,

I mean, this is what you do. If you get an article about Dyson, you go on there and you say, I'm David Dyson. And like, you use your last name as the business. That's what you do. And if you want to go, It's hard to be happy for them though, because like their parents got them the job.

Yeah. And if you want to go one extra inch, what you do is a tiny bit of misdirect that's so stupid, where you go like, my name's Beverly Sprite, and my dad created a little soft drink that you might have heard of, Mountain Dew. That's a little extra icing if might have heard of, Mountain Dew. That's everyone laughs. That's a little extra icing if you want to be a big shot.

Well, Edmund Sornichot said, I'm Arthur Anthropology, and then he slapped us around the rest of the show, beating us up. Yeah. Yeah, see, that wasn't that good of a scene. No. Well, let's get back into,

let's see a few more riddles before we come to a close. Here we go, next riddle. On a hot Saturday afternoon, a woman was walking slowly through the savanna when she spotted a lion in the distance. Instead of turning around, hiding or seeking help, the woman began to run towards the lion to run towards where the lion was. Why wasn't she afraid? It was Simba.

Yep. She had raised the lion. The lion was singingba. Yep. She had raised the line. The line was singing as a baby. Yeah, as a baby. Big Simba, I'm like, no, no, no, no. Yeah, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, nice. Yeah, Matthew Broderick. Yeah.

I'm gonna be a mighty king. Hold on, was Matthew Broderick to adult Simba? Of course. Yes, I had no idea. Yeah, wow. But it wasn't too, I do do do minute. I'll just sat down It was JTT is young symbol, but there was also a difference in before when he was singing right Was that something yeah, JTG didn't sing the songs

I don't think I think he just did the voice of Simba I think they got someone else to sing the song Matthew Broderick is a dull symbol. I'd never I truly never knew this he's making it call He's upset hello. I think I think I. He's making a call. Good. He's upset. Hello, I think I think Jerry Orbok sang all the songs. That's very good. See, I think it was Nathan Lane. Nathan Lane, doing double duty in that movie. God bless him.

Yeah, so the Lion King is basically one fifth of the producers. That's exactly. Yeah. The woman running towards the lion because that woman is a lion and the woman lion are the one that get the meat and then the man lion, they just stand around all, they do and fucking nothing.

The doctor was a lion, you sexist. I love JPC's lion-based standup. I wanna see you sing. JPC you are a male lion, Aaron you are a female lion, and the two of you are trying to have a intense discussion about gender rules in the animal kingdom.

Okay, hey baby, I got Arby's. Ahhhhh. What? I got the meat. No, I don't like Arby's get up Could you go to Carl's junior? No, no oh Million dollar idea fries from McDonald's burger some Carl's

Are you watching drunk right now? I had a fucking drink. Oh my god. Okay. Here's the one drink with Jeff who came over Can I tell you something? Oh, hey Jeff Jeff, uh, good to see you. Um, sorry. Uh, hey, I'm not your mom. Okay, running around the Savannah getting you fucking shit whenever you want I'm not your mom. I'm your partner. You somebody's mom. Yeah, I'm our kids mom speaking of which I guess a lot Jeff Do you know where my kids are sort of loop you into this fight, but where are my kids Jeff? Jeff drunk too excellent. No, we had one drink. They're training to be lions Jeff you're better than this huge drink. There was a punchball Jeff you are almost mayor. You had potential. My husband never had potential You're wasting away your life unbelievable. That's no! No! You have potential. You got lots of potential.

You are so great. And you're a wonderful mother and you're a great provider. I know I have potential. I'm leaving you. I'm leaving you. I got you these meats. Mom, dad and Jeff taught me a song. A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a- uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh bad. Should I just say a horny potato? No shut up. You got to be mom now. No, I'm not ready. You got to go to Carl's Junior and McDonald's. They're the Carl's Junior's and McDonald's. How about I go to Carl's Junior's and Hardies? Yeah. That's across the cross state lines. Yeah. Oh man, that's not funny. I got a drink with Jeff. Hey. Oh man, that's not funny. I got a drink with Jeff. Hey.

Hey. Deadbeat friend. Classic Jeff. Hey. Uh, Jeff the line, look it up. On our concert this afternoon, a woman was walking slowly through this event. Oh, she knows water is coming. This is water.

What's that? Water is close by. She knows water is close by. And what, and how is that a right answer? Because she needs water. She's, I was going to say, starving, but that's not water is it Have you ever met a woman in the middle? Can I get some water? They're thirsty. Yeah. Have you met a woman at all? There was thirsty Is she in a zoo

Bingo bingo hotata mat that is dead on the woman was visiting a zoo Oh, she was excited to see a line. She ran up to it. Well, she didn't fear it, I think, was the, uh. She a kid. Yeah, what kind of grown-ass woman's like, a lion, it's like, yeah, Deborah, you're at a zoo. I will say though, every time I know the polar bears

are close by, I take off running and excitement. If you're close. My polar bear is working for you. I haven't been able to get into it. None of my prototypes work. It works for me. It works for me. Aaron has knocked on and ruined so many of my TVs

any time that Coca-Cola Christmas commercial comes on. Their paws are so big. They're so big. Well, she shouldn't run because she could fall in there. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That'd be awful. That'd be ashamed So I want to admonish this riddle. Oh, oh, so it will be done

A formal admonishment has been filed against this riddle. Thank Matt. Matt, we can't take riddles to riddle court. Would you like to do that? No, that seems too extreme Admonishment is just no that's an option for you. You're're working great. Just so you know, man, it's not justice. It's punishment at our rental court. It's there is no justice for these riddles. Oh, that is tempting. It is expensive. So you had the right instinct.

Super costly. Well, I'm Matt Young. I figure I can just, I probably don't have to spend it. Matt Young from the Chicago Fire. I tip you really nice. I tip 200% at the coffee shop. Latte for Adrian Brandy. Okay, here's the next riddle.

We're gonna go with some shorter ones. We'll do a worth of story. Riddles, we'll go to some shorter ones. Hey, Adel, yeah. We'll decide how short they are. Yes, sir. I'm sorry, sir. And just remember, everybody zebra hunting on Christmas is still on the table.

It's anyone's game. Who's gonna grab it first? Like Christmas. Blam! What rocks but does not roll? A rock. Duh! Huh!

Duh! Duh! Duh! Duh! What rocks but does not roll? A rocking chair. That is a rocking chair Adel and Matt you are two elderly people on your front porch and rocking chairs sort of recapping your life and your life together

Well, you see it was 2003 and I was Jeff Zumba. Oh Everyone thought it was the funniest thing that's ever happened. That sounds funny. This was before it was Discovered that Zumba called caused immediate death. Is that right? That's right. That's right. Wow Yeah, that's amazing. When I was a kid I was in a production of Into the Woods and my partner died on stage. Oh, that's terrible I think I read about that was because yeah You got lucky and didn't get the sign I'd pill? Yes it was a 50-50 shot. Back in the day 50% of the population died by chance.

Well that sounds about right. Yeah but I had a community chest you see. Should we go into this cracker barrel or just take a? Well, I'd rather not give my money to cracker barrels, so let's just stay out on the porch. Of course, of course. Isn't it crazy how far VR has come these days in the year 2064? Oh, it's incredible. I don't think I'm really this old. Oh my God. What if we're young kids in VR, but it's so immersive that we think that we're octogenarians on the porch of a cracker barrel? I mean, I suppose anything is possible. What is what is reality? What is reality? Maybe in the distance we'll hear one of our wives yelling for us to come to dinner and say honey your 27 come to dinner?

Oh, I'd I'd do anything to be 27 again. I would do literally anything to be 20 honey. It's God time to die Jacqueline, what did I tell you about yelling at that at the cracker bear parking lot? It's so funny Some of these people will die soon Jack. It's so funny. It's so funny. Some of these people will die soon, Jack. It's so funny. You know it's funny. You see. You know what I just realized?

Is that we're going to be put away or like brought to an old folks home way earlier than other people because we're just going to be describing our improv shows to our grandkids and our eighties. They're going to be like, oh no, he's lost it. I was like, I would go on stage, and I'd say, I'm Zumba. No, no, I really am, you said, or the Wizard of the Twelve Throne of Feast.

Oh, Grandpa. Oh, you have to believe me. You could lock him up, lock him up. Grandpa, you saw nothing like him. How, I have to, Matt, I don't think I've ever asked you this. Yeah. How much of a toll does that take

on your, on your vocal cords? It's not that bad, really. I don't know why. It feels like it should be, because I'm, it sounds very painful. Yeah, it sounds very painful. No, I don't know. I just got into a groove with it or something.

I don't have any like great vocal training or singing training or anything. I mean, maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and not there. When I meet magic tavern listeners, first of all I always tell them how nice you guys are. So you're welcome for the lot. Thank you. No, you guys are nice. But I always say I give the order. What was the nicest? Yeah, I give the order. Yeah, Matt Arniaddle. Yeah, Arniaddle. We all know it. But I always tell them about how hard it makes me laugh to be backstage at a Madjuri Tavern live show with you guys because Adal looks so comfy in his like zip up skunks suit.

Arni just puts on his polo and then I just see you. Yeah. In excruciating pain, put on layer upon layer of everything that you're gonna be sweating through in five minutes. So funny. I for sure my own worst enemy when I commit to something that I'm like, I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna do it 100% and then like, why did I make this?

20% into it. I'm like, what the fuck did I do this? I'm the shouting wizard and the big robe. God, there's nothing funny at the end of a Magic Tower and Life Show, then backstage, and Matt takes off his robe and he's just drenched. It looks like he fell into like a dunk tank.

Like it is cartoonish, the amount of sweat that he's covered in. But ripped. But ripped. Oh, but ripped. Oh, fucking. So ripped. But ripped. Oh, fuck yeah. So nice and so ripped. Heart-to-sugact. JPC, did you do, when you did the, the, um, the,

the chun-sni, did you dress up like a shark? Oh, I can't imagine. I can't imagine I did, because I don't own a shark costume. So it doesn't, no, but I wasn't a shark. I wasn't a shark. He was, I was a captain. So I do, that's right. That's right. And I did dress up like a captain, because I do have a shark. I wasn't a shark. He was I was a captain. So I do that's right I did dress up like a captain because I do have a pirate gust

All right, that works. I do I do vividly remember Like doing some dumb physical gag in an improv show when I was 29 I was like turning 30 in a couple of weeks and I did a dumb physical thing I threw out my back and I remember I was like There's 24 people in this audience. I did this for nothing. I did this for nothing I'll be I'll be injured for a week and I did it for nothing Yeah, I've taken a lot of falls and things that I I didn't more worth it It's always for like a 10 o'clock or midnight audience. Yeah, why are we doing that?

Don't know don't know. Oh, we're not anymore. No, I will. I'll do it. Yeah, I'll pride it. Yeah, I'm doing it right now I'll go do a couple of pratfalls as soon as we're done here. I'm gonna just go up and down the block See who's looking at the window to laugh. This is real. I fell down on the ice the other day. Adel knows this Oh, yeah, I slipped and I fell flat on my back in the middle of the street and then hit the back of my head. And I popped right back up and I felt okay and I was like, I think I'm all right, I think I'm all right.

I went to the doctor anyway the next day to make sure. I was like, please double check. But I think it was the first time in my life where I was like, oh, I'm going to die for sure. Dr. Kim back, I was like, this can't be right. The test says that you've been dead for 16 hours. Yeah.

That's so scary. That's like the worst kind of fall to have is slipping my back your head kind of fall. I think a day later or a few days later, Matt and I recorded and I was like, and Matt, you had sent an email or something explaining the situation. And then, and you couldn't read a single fucking word of that email. It was all winging.

I think he, I think Matt broke the ice. Well, that's the pun not intended. But Matt broke the ice and said something along the lines of like my personality has changed. Like I hit my head so hard, my personality changed. And then I was like, oh, we're okay to joke now. Then I was like, yeah, you suddenly play piano. But there was, yeah, there was a bit where it was like, we were all very worried because I think you mentioned, you had to go to the hospital. I'm so sorry that happened. That is so scary. Did it make a noise? I mean, I felt it. It was a moment where I was like, oh, I've just hit my head really hard

and I was just very aware of it. And it felt a little bit like, it was like, oh, I'm standing up now but I know that I hit my head really hard. I know I hit my head really hard. I know I just hit my head really hard. Wow. And it was just like really upsetting

and just like very calmly like being like, I'm gonna walk home. I'm gonna go to the doctor. I'm gonna make sure everything's okay. Did you say it was in the middle of the street too? I was like walking up the sidewalk so I fell back into the street. Oh my God.

I'm gonna walk home. I'm gonna finish my Ghostbusters Firehouse Lego set. I'm gonna walk home. I'm gonna finish my Ghostbusters Firehouse Lego set. Yeah. I'm gonna play God, I wish you had a Ghostbusters Firehouse Lego set. I'm gonna have a Ghostbusters Firehouse Lego set. I never got that one. Here's what I would do. If I hit my head that hard, I would go home

and I would cook up the most disgusting thing that I could. I'd eat the whole thing. And then later if I puked, I'd be like, surely it must be the food that I ate. It was disgusting. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah.

I know. I can't. That's puke because of good cussion. Yeah. You saw it out. Yeah, I got it. That's puke because of good cussion. Yeah, I'm puke because I made Star Crunch spaghetti. Mmm. Thanks, little Debbie. Oh boy, that's so gross. Yeah, but it made me, it did also make me think of like all the dumb chances I've taken trying to get a laugh.

And I was like, why have I hurt myself for that? What a way to go though. In an improv show, trying to get a laugh. Fingers crossed. Well, speaking of getting hurt, I don't know. Speaking of coming to a close, Matt, thank you so much for coming on today. You've been on our short list. It's so nice to finally have you on. We do want to give you an opportunity. We're going to go through plugs. We're

going to give you the coveted last spot and plugs. You can talk about anything and everything you want to plug. So before we get to Matt, let's start with our, we'll start with our least important plugs, JPC. Do you have anything to plug? Oh, just the same thing I always plug. You can find me at twitch.tv slash shark bark. But I'm remember there playing video games most days of the week. Aaron, do you have something that you would like to play? Oh, we're going nice. It's to least nice. I get it. I think so. Cool. I like that.

We call this Matt Ardi Addle. It works. It works for us. You can follow us at com dnd on Twitter and Instagram and check out magic tavern. If you haven't. I love it so much. I've been a fan for years, way before I was ever on the show. Adel? Yes, please speak of Hello from the Magic Tavern. Please check out the Patreon that we have.

It launched, I believe in October somewhere there. So it's a few months old. It's just a little baby. So you're going to want to go to patreon.com slash magic tavern, I believe. And check out all the books. I don't think you need that, I believe, part. I think that'll actually take you to a some more completely different if you include that. No, put it in, I believe. Okay. You're a funeral, buddy. Try to help you.

We have a lot of outstanding bonus content. And I believe a lot of our stuff that we had on Stitcher is slowly migrating, much like the glaciers during Olden days, over to our patrons, so you're gonna want to check that out. Matt Young glaciers were migrating. You know how glaciers do, they migrate very slowly. They go south every winter and then they fly back north. Glaciers. Yeah, glaciers.

I have rivers. Matt Young, is there anything you'd like to plug? Of course, hello from the Magetavern. As everyone said, check out the Patreon, check out the discord. There's a lot of fun things going on out there, and I like to pop in there and character everyone's while. I'm dick around and ask them questions. And I'm also on a new podcast that just started on January 20th called Dear Earth. I'm really sorry where I play Dr. Amazing. Ooh. Wow.

And it's like, it's kind of a, imagine if the world was coming to an end and then, I don't have to. I'm not hard. The person, the person who could save it disappears and it's up to his two sort of inept children to try to save I'm What was the name of it again? I want to check that out. It's called the dear earth. I'm really sorry. I Amy Thorntonson came to me who's a creator. I know and a dream and a dream and I was like do you want to play this role? It's a thing we've already written, and she was a fan of the show.

And I was like, yeah, it sounds really cool. And it's a great cast and great scripts. And I hope we get to do more. Cool. And you'll listen to that. There is a link to it in the episode description of this podcast. Yeah.

Cool. And Amy, I'm free to do stuff. So let me know. Yeah, you can get Adel's contact information in a link in this podcast. Coming to a dream, you'll say Adel's contact information in a link in this podcast Now Aaron Matt's on a new podcast called dear earth. I'm really sorry you have a new podcast not Sikam D&D, but you have another out of this world celestial podcast. Do you want to tell listeners about that? Wish I could tell you Adel, but I gotta go

Jupiter by forever. I gotta go to back So come on. Hey, where's everybody? Grab an Eagles eagles. Oh, hold on. I'm gonna grab this zoom and go back to 2007, baby. Okay, and I'm going to try and climb a top this flamingo with a top hat. Yeah, you killed it. Get it up. Oh no. Oh no. He said, y'all, I'm slid his throat. He created my house. Bad news. Eagle took the podcast recording.

We gotta try again. Hey there quizzes and zizzis, if you like that you're gonna love this week's episode. We go back to the chatterbox and we are taking a quiz. You can listen to that plus our entire Batcadalog by going to patreon.com such hey riddle riddle and joining the clue crew for $5 a month or the Review Crew for $8 a month. And you can add free episodes at the Review Crew Tier. See you there!