Hey Riddle Riddle - #189: Escape! w/ Janet Varney

Episode Date: March 2, 2022

She's back baby! Janetmorph makes her 3rd appearance (right?) and it comes with a new title! This episode contains the following - chatty gremlins, an 8th dwarf, a sad sad snow-woman, a sad sad computer teacher, Chuck E. Cheese going on an job interview and a wedding DJ who just...well...you'll find out. #WiddleWednesday Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Special Guest Janet Varney Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. I'm the one who's in the right hand. I'm the one who's in the right hand. I'm the one who's in the right hand. I'm the one who's in the right hand. I'm the one who's in the right hand. My cute, be your hey, with the brick doll. Hey everyone, welcome back. It's time for Cremlins, the pie cast. I'm the one of your Cremlins, little bugger. I mean, any one of the Cremlins, Magwag.

Amazewing to the bug that webbed, Scrap, Rip, Rip, Rip. Jessica, hey Jessica. Uh-huh. No one can understand you. No, no, Jessica, it's a pleasure, me, say. Ah, Magwag, what was it? Magwaw. Oh, wait. We've been doing this by guess for 150 episodes. You don't know my name. That's right.

We do one episode every year for the last 150 years. As is our curse. Yes, I guess you want to start us off? Uh-huh. It's a painting user and hair suffer. Hey, sir. The can't fucking do this. I can't do this. The other day someone tweeted at us and they said, new listener, where should I start your podcast? And I really wish 1989 This is when you go for impenetrable access to our backend Stop stop stop spray spray spray you what a gross thing that was in my seat. Hello. I'm Adolfi. I'm GPC Jessica

When I'm Aaron sorry Jessica. I'll see you later for drinks martinis on me. That's Jessica The one non-gramlin' of the bunch. Yeah. Welcome everyone to Hey Riddle Riddle, We're your three hosts. And we, as per the title of the show, we try and solve riddles and bladder thinking problems and puzzles and along the way, we descend into madness.

We're just three little monkeys in a coma. And today, there's no need to stall. There's no need to wait for an intro because what do we just do? What? I just don't love I sat down and there's a grimoire in my seat and I killed it. What are you talking about? Right, you're right. I mean, I just don't I don't love doing something like that if there's no need for me to do it Okay, well, we'll double your pay this week. Is that what you want? I guess it could help but Please introduce her. I can't wait to talk to her. Please we have you're paid this week. Is that what you want? I guess it could help but please introduce

your account to talk to her please. We have our favorite guests. We have a very special guest. We have who I think from this episode on will no longer be referred to as a guest but simply our fourth host who can join us for this recording. So please welcome our fourth host, who I guess now legally gets one fourth of our income. So I guess I fucked this. I'm sorry. I didn't talk to us about that beforehand. I'm so glad. I'm so glad you're not in charge of the money. It's so, it's so nice to know. At least it's not me though. At least not Adel, but then at least it's not me. Yeah, I'll be able to add all meets a new friend outside He's like look. We got to do senior vice president

I had a magic tavern fan from South Africa DM me yesterday and Janet we are so close to Magic tavern fan from South Africa DM me yesterday and was like, I really love the show. I hope everything is well. And they said, like, I'm really excited for the Patreon. Hope it's continuing to grow and everything and they go, I can't do the Patreon because, you know, things are economically rough in South Africa.

And I, I don't know what came over me, but I replied and I go, thank you so much for the kind message. If you have a Venmo handle, let me know and I'll Venmo you $10, so you can use our Patreon for two months. And then I sent it, I'm like, Addle buddy, you gotta be better with money. No, I like that way to live. I think everyone should start living like that.

I am a wrecking ball with money. Speaking of cash money, the fore-host who's all just absolute, absolute interest in bankability. Are you happy, Adam? She fell asleep, but she keeps along to introduce her. Okay, and don't forget to- I'll hold on. I think this is actually just, I think this is Janet's Gremlin.

I think she's in a new Gremlin. Somebody freed me after midnight at Janet's party. Oh no, she combined herself with a Gremlin. Oh. He's Janet more for self- Janet Barney. Oh, yay. I would love to go back and be re-ens. I thought maybe just, and I know this will set off the pacing for me and the rest of

the recording, but if I could just be dropped in two minutes earlier than I actually was introduced, I just feel like there was a moment there. It felt so good. And then you went into some sort of weird international intrigue story about apps. Yeah, yeah. It was like one of those Nigerian print scams from like 15 years ago, except on the lowest,

just the lowest level. You are the prime target, Adel. If someone's like, I'm kind of going through, here's $20, please let me give you $20. Let me explain to you how to download the app that will allow me to give you $20. Good point, then let me create some fake email accounts. I guess they're a catapishing Adel.

Janice, since you're now officially our lost cousin, fourth host, there's no need for us to talk to you about your relationship with the Roodles and Puzzies because we've had you on twice before. I mean, you would say three or four times before, but legally it's been quite. It's been two times. So there was something I wanted to ask

that I don't think we've asked you before. We have talked before that you're a big room head or a roomba, which is what we call escape the room fans. Not anymore. I actually consulted the world and they said, we're done with that. No, that makes sense. Hey, just, just, just real quick. I'm feeling real beat up on the first five minutes here. Let's all ease off at all. Okay.

Atle had a long day. Yeah. But atle just really quick. There's something on your shirt. What? The best way for Adelma to get shit is if he does not refer to himself for the third person that is not going to help Adela in relation to before. I agree. But I was going to ask, what I don't know if we've talked about this. When you're in an escape room and I know you've done a ton and you've I think

you even had like a TV series with escape rooms. What is your personality? Are you like, do you take charge? Are you like working on your own? It's a great question, and I feel like I'm not the only one who will have this response, which is, I am, there's no rhyme or reason to what I am, but I definitely am not the same personality

through the entire escape room. There are moments where I'll get super aggressive and realize I'm shouting at people, and then that Janet is replaced quickly in the Rolladex. The one that flips right after that is the like, I'm just gonna hang back here and make jokes. You guys don't need me to be the asshole who's like telling everyone what to do.

And that's also not a helpful setting for a escape room. But they're like five or six, I think, that come out. Are you guys not like that? Do you feel like you're the chamele Do you call that the chameleon? I'm the chameleon. Everybody, I'm the chameleon. Don't get me wet. Is that the first time I use influx?

Now I do kind of want to see that web series where Janet just, she shows up after yelling everybody with glasses and a new jacket on. It's like, who is that asshole? Anyway, who wants $5,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, that asshole? Who wants $5, dude's good guy? Just gave that guy. He's doing character work in the escape room. Yeah, I think I- What would you say you are?

I think I am like, since I've done a ton, I've done close to 100, but I'm not, here's the thing, is I think people always assume I'm very good at them because I've done a ton. I don't think I'm exceptionally good. I think I've just done a lot and I enjoy them. So I'm always willing to spearhead and be like, hey, let's communicate. I found this and try and lead by example.

I think I'm like, I'm going to put all the things I find on this table and try not like bossing one around, but be like, here's the example I'm setting. It's up to you to follow it or not. Then I think I tend to support people of like, how can I, how can I help you with this puzzle? Do you need anything? Does this work with anything else? So passive aggressive. Passive aggressive. You know, I've done, I've done escape rooms with Adal. Are you sure about those pants? Tim, are we sure we're wearing those pants today? Anybody need help with any advice at all? Some, some people have bad relationships

here in this. I think not a good time. Yeah, I think what I like about Adel and Escape Rims is that he doesn't do the thing where he's done 300,000 of them. So he's like, I know what this is, but he does do the thing where he's like, I know how to play in these rooms enough to know what guy not to be. Because again, the guy who's gonna give someone

a stranger the internet $10, cause they're like, hey, I'm sorry. I don't have enough money to free your Patreon. It's the same guy who's not gonna like, step on a bunch of toes. But he does make a very relaxed atmosphere that brings pretty much exactly what the group needs. Cause I've done escape rooms with Adel with a variety of groups

and I feel like he plays that same role every time. It's very helpful. It's a good energy to have in an escape room. Quick Adel, JPC supporting you. He's being nice. Now's the time to focus all the negative energy on him. All right, you dumb shit. Fuck you, dude. Uh oh, you said it out loud. Now see if the others follow suit. Hope, hope, hope. My energy in escape room is the

same energy that I bring to this podcast, which is that I do not give a shit about getting the right answer. Because the only, the only, the only answer is that everyone has a good time or at least everyone's miserable together. So one of those two extremes is what I'm breaking. You're right. Oh, I don't get it. Please. No, I just realized I think I just realized I think I say things twice in the heat of the moment. I think I think I do that. Like, it's unclear. It's unclear.

Like saying it twice will help so it's more It's more now I really am I'm realizing So you've become a big big trace even I found something I found something Everything is maybe twice got to get papers get the paper Oh, that's fucking funny I've done a few rooms with JPC and he's definitely like, any rooms is capable of you put your shoulder into a door. And we're like, no, no, no, no. Aaron, what did your vibe?

I think I've only done two rooms with you. Your vibe is very concerned and like, because what we did was spooky. And so you were like, I can't deal with this, I can't look at this. Don't be able to work on this puzzle. Yeah, I don't want a spooky room. That's what I thought,

escape rooms were going to be, and then found out they weren't as complete, but they still can be. Aaron, please go ahead. Any horror escape room, I don't want to be invited to. But I think I do two things. One is telling everyone we should definitely not go out to dinner if we don't escape the room.

Like making sure people know it should be the end of the night if we don't get out, but I am willing to go to dinner if we do get out. So I'm just going like, hey, just a quick reminder, I will be heading home if we don't get out. And then the other thing is, like you know when your parent is doing work and they're busy and you just want their attention so bad.

It's like the only time I see my friends actually focus on like that, simply won't do. So I'll be like, add a look, add a look at this. Add a listen't do. So, like, add a look. Add a look at this. Add a look at this. This is a funny bit. Add a look at me. And he's just like, that's so nice, Aaron.

I'm like, look at me, spin. We did an escape room, maybe in like Kalamazoo or something. It was like a submarine themed one. And I think Aaron three or four times was like, there was like maybe a bunk bed. And she's like, add a look. I'm on the bunk bed. I'm like, oh, it's very good, very good.

But that's, I think that is, we've discussed maybe, or I've heard you say that that is a little bit how you deal with scary stuff. Like, oh, that's right, I was listening to an episode where you went to a haunted house or something, and you do the same thing I do, which is, like, have tried to have a real conversation with a person who's trying to scare you.

I absolutely do that. Like a scary clown with weird teeth. I'm like, sir, you need medical attention. It's the only way to like push past the fear Jam saw huh? Yeah, so if you and I were in a scary escape room together We would be like I would be like three doll heads three doll heads You're very scary. You're very scary. I think the title of this episode has to be Janet Farney, Janet Farney Of course

Naturally, I think actually there was there was one to be Janet Varnie, Janet Varnie. Yeah, of course. Naturally. I think there was one escape room that we did as a group. I think I may have been with you, but I have no idea where it was. But someone said to our group, they were like, who in this group doesn't mind being scared, or having an interaction with a person inside the escape room? And it was me, and I got like strapped to a chair and a bag over my head.

And everyone else was a jail cell. And the escape room began with the killer who he was like right in my face, going like, ah! And then he left the room. We did that in LA with Luke No. Yeah, that's right. And then I remember that room,

because I was like, oh, I don't mind someone, being in my face. And then after that part happened, I was like, I did mind that. I, I did mind that. I guess I learned. I guess I learned, I guess I learned that I, I mean, it was fun, but would I do that again? No, I don't think I would care for that.

I guess I learned my limits today. I guess being kidnapped by the scary killer, man. Not for me. Yeah. Janet, will you remind me and all of our listeners what the name of your escape room show was? You know what, I'll do you what better? Yes. If you had to guess anything, what would you guess?

Oh, thank God. Get me outta here. Scramble in Janet. Both two sophisticated. Ooh. Janet. Did you hear me say Scramble in Janet? In too long, think shorter, think less words, room.

The room. Think more literal, even than that. Escape. That's correct. Yes. That's a great name. That's correct. Escape exclamation point with Janet Parnie. Okay, catch up. Escape is also what I call Superman behind his back. Escape. Oh, sorry. I liked it. I liked it. Thank you, Aaron. I don't know. I'm here to go direct. I'm going to shoot on J.P.G. I'm going to shoot on someone. Well speaking of shooting on someone, we have to scan our way over to do some actual riddles. Oh, I thought you were throwing the ads and I was like, I don't know. That's the wrong energy for this.

We have that new sponsor. It's a reverse bidet. We have Squatty-Potty on the podcast. This is a good one. I wish. new sponsor. It's a reverse, it's a reverse bidet. Yeah, we have squatty potty on the podcast. This is a good, nice. I wish. I wish. I don't want to yet I need a moment to imagine what a reverse bidet actually is.

But I don't want it, but I need to. To Deb. And I thought we'd do something because last time we had Janet on, I remember still to this day, and I guess because it was just a few months ago. I remember crying laughing. It's not even a whole breath. I remember crying laughing at the word avalanches we did.

So I thought we'd go back to that sweet, sweet trough of word avalanches and do some more of those. So we're gonna start off with some of those. And we'll see, we might just do all word avalanches. We'll see where the night takes us. Adults, will you remind? I thought you were getting something different this time. I'm going more of the same.

OK. Would not have been back that bit. By the way, after that recording, my brain felt fully melted and we had to, I think, two more recordings to do that. No, I'm so sorry for all of you because all I did after that was make everything in real life. Like, everything in real life. I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop.

I think even after we once the recording was done, I think we stayed on the sort of Zoom call for like another 10 minutes just making ones up. And I think eventually, JVC was like, I can't handle this. Adel, will you remind our listeners you don't have the excellent two months worth of memory that you have? What a word Avelanche is? Word-avelanche, you received some sort of clue that leads you to an answer where all the words and the answer sound very similar.

For an example, I can't remember the exact setup for it, but it was something of what a dog was trying to schedule a time to draw you. It was like, Labrador doodle doodle doodle or something like that right sure okay that's a word avalanche yes absolutely so we have some I don't think they gave permission to use their name so I'm gonna call them eb don't forget you can email us at hrrapodcastademo.com and if you have some word avalanches please send them our way because that from this point on is the only thing we'll ever let Janet do on this show Please send them our way. Because that from this point on is the only thing

we'll ever let Janet do on this show. And shout out to Evie White, who sent these in. Love Charlotte's Web. But bad. So, Evie says, hello, I was literally drafting this email when I heard the recent episode with the word avalanches. Here are some more that I like.

Don't have Janet back. Oh, I shouldn't have read the rest of the email. No, I think all the feedback we got was, please have Janet on more often. So that worked out. Okay, here's our first one. I think this is, I tried to start with some of the easier ones. So here we go.

First one is, these will be more like warm up avalanches. Okay. Here we go. First one. Good drugs idiot. Dope, dope, dope, dope. Whoa one. Good drugs idiot. Don't don't don't don't. We are hot. Okay. I'll call I'm going to call my shot right now. That's the only one of these.

I want to see a scene. So you the three of you are three of the eight dwarves in Snow White. You can pick which two you are. But Janet and Aaron, you can pick which ones you are. three of the eight dwarves in Snow White. You can pick which two you are, but Janet and Aaron, you can pick which ones you are. JPC, you are druggy. Druggy, okay. Yeah. Oh, tissue.

Thank you. Do you need a tissue? I don't need a back. That's, yeah, you keep it or toss it. I Don't need a back That's yeah, you keep it or toss it. That's yeah, and anyone else to tissue just let me know I have a full box I'm gonna eat that whole box. Thank you. Absolutely. That's all yours. I have a costume Okay, let's do a new rule. Let's all cover our mouths if we're gonna sneeze. Oh, that wasn't a sneeze. I just had something I ate in degree with me when I came out my windpipe.

Drugs, what time did you get in last night? What time did I get in last night? Yeah. Probably two, three. So same as everybody else, right? No, I've been here for the last seven years. Okay, why'd Miss you, allergies? Okay, yeah. The hash is asking about you.

Well, I mean, I've been here. I got here at two or three, started cleaning, started kind of rearranging the furniture. I love what I've done with it, or do I hate it? I don't know. You've you've stayed up all night. You've stayed up all night. You've stayed up all night. You've stayed up all night.

You've stayed up all night. You've stayed up all night. You've stayed up all night. You've stayed up all night. You've stayed up all night. You've stayed up all night. You've stayed up all night. You've stayed up all night.

You've stayed up all night. You've stayed up all night. You've stayed up all night. You've stayed up all night. You've stayed up all night. You've stayed up all night. You've stayed up all night. You've stayed up all night.

You've stayed up all night. You've stayed up all night. You've stayed up all night. You've stayed up all night. You've stayed up all night. You've stayed up all night. Oh, if you can do it. Druggie, what's that on your nose? Oh, I got a tattoo. A white powder? Yes, I couldn't handle people asking me that question of, I think you have jokes in your nose, so I just went ahead and got, I got a cocaine tattoo. It's like, it's like how people get their eyebrows permanently colored so they don't have to do makeup every day. Microlating. Oh, tralala la la la la. Oh, raccoonating? Trilala, lala, lala, lala.

Raccoon is my hat. Trilala, lala. It's me, Snow White. Davy Crockett. Ha ha ha. No, that's my brother. I'm Snow White. Sorry.

Wait, Davy's your brother? Yes. Yikes. My name is Snow Crockett White. OK. Did we wait? We were just talking to Druggie. Druggie, we're all proud of who we are.

I love being the sleepy one. Sneasy refuses to take vitamin C. I love when people ask me what's on my nose. Sneasy, I have, would you like some vitamin C? I have some vitamin C. It's loose in this bag. I can't walk my nose with that box of powder Don't worry about that. Yeah, you're right. I have some vitamin C. Let me just put this on don't play it

Don't like nobody's watching Sing like nobody can hear and if you remember you sunscreen Druggy, I guess my point is why it be named druggy if you just keep denying your drug you. Oh, it, it, it, it, it, it. No, no, I'm not denying my drug you. So I use drugs. It's just I got to touch you so it's a conversation that I don't have to have.

People can just assume that I'm always doing drugs. And by the way, I feel like I'm a pretty high-functioning drug user. For instance, I'm the only one of us that has a job. I have a job. I'm a new compromise. Thanks a lot. Okay, fair enough. But I mean, like, look, you can do more from home.

You know, that- Doc has a job. Doc, I'm sorry. Doc had a job. Mal I'm sorry doc have a job Malpractice suit Yeah, what is snow white? What is the doc a doc of yeah, it's probably something like history or something Because he is little glasses. Yeah, he's a glass again. Yeah, it got to be academia I think there was a time in history

when like if you were riding the organ trail and you were old, your name was Doc or like if you made food, your name was Cookie. Like I think, I think there's a time where those nicknames were just. But you see, here's the thing. You just said that someone who cooks is called Cookie. You said someone who's on a trail is called Doc.

And I'm love that. That's. Doc has all those topics. All those topics. Yes. He's a walking. He's a walking apothecary, but a pop is a dumb nickname. Doc is a fun one. Wait a minute.

You just sounded like you did a word avalanche. He's a walking apothecary doc. Kit the carry doc. You're very. I document on a drama. I'm a carry. Here we go. Next one. I measure people for custom make a theory. I'm not going to make a theory. I'm not going to make a theory. Here we go next one.

I measure people for custom fitted prosthetics made of frozen water. I measure people for custom fitted prosthetics made of frozen water. Okay, frozen water. I got to say ice cream, right? Well, that's so big. I am so sorry for you that what you had as a child and told us ice cream was frozen water. What? I can make ice cream in two hours with just the ingredients in my house. John, why don't you go into the freezer and get the frozen ice cream tray and fill it up?

I hate parties eating your hands. Bob, Dad, are we poor? No, we're rich because we don't spend money. It'll waste the way. Ice, ice, ice, ice, ice, baby. Baby, ice, make up. What's the prosthetics? What's the prosthetics?

I measure people for custom fitted prosthetics made of frozen water. Ice, cool. I measure people. I see is correct. So I see is definitely I see the middle word. Well, there's four words. I see the so not the middle. It is the third word. Okay. Is it I see is no I measure measuring it does start with I I seem no so I and I so correct first word is I Third word is ice so think about custom fitted and then what's the second Clamagirl I see I see I see I see you fools it took 200 episodes for a guest to simply ask

To simply say what are the answers? I I'm sitting Yeah, think about custom fitted. So if you get something custom custom fitted You go in to have them blanket Do you have them oh To have them size size size With my

Size something I Eyes eyes eyes eyes with my That's what an immature Taylor says I size with my little eyes Eyes eyes eyes eyes eyes eyes eyes eyes eyes Eyes eyes Janet bingo bingo hot to tell you nailed it No, JPC said it. Oh, I'm sorry. I don't think so. I The answer is I size ice eyes and then what were we saying in German? I think we want to see a scene so I think Janet you are going to be an optometrist. Aaron, you are going in, you are a snow person, snow woman,

and you are going in to be sized for some new eyeballs. Thanks for being so PC. So my eyes are cold, but I just like, I feel like I'm also near, sorry, I'm excited with like a little bit of far-sightedness. Okay. Okay. Um, well, first of all, I'm sorry to interrupt. Did someone say far-sightedness? It's me, Gary Larson. Um, me, Gary.

Did you live close by? I live in the vent. Does anybody want a quick doodle or do you want to buy one of my prints? You know, I think we're good. If you just wanted to, you know, you could draft something up and show it to me later to Calgary's dream old-fashioned glasses. That would be great. That's most special to me. Anyway, I'm so sorry. What was your name? Oh snow snow lady.

They didn't name me. Snow lady. Yeah, they were like excited for the first couple days. They're like, my snowman can talk. And they took me to school and everything, but then they got bored. And now I'm just sort of wandering in the world. Well, first of all, congrats for not melting. I don't know how you made it through a day at school

without melting, so that's special and magical. Thank you. And again, just to, I just want to follow up on the whole, my eyes are cool thing. Can you not see? Or... And you know what, it's weird. So I got struck by lightning and you would think that would melt me right away.

But it made me like, I was like, oh, and I came into consciousness and I can't see. But I also know my nose is a carrot. So it smells like a carrot. I'm not a doctor. I don't want to presume to know. Well, I don't know. I'm not an ENT. I only work with eyes. Dream job. And so I will be able to... I guess I'll be able to fit you for some...

Ooh, where do I start? I mean, I don't know if glasses are gonna do the trick. You have coal for eyes. Would you prefer diamonds? I could see if I could crush them down into something gleaming. Oh my gosh, that would be amazing. Okay great, let me get out my crusher. Gary?

Yes, did you want to buy some sort of chicken crossing the road and there's a bear holding up a sign that says push? I'm good, I'm good. I don't need a giant mosquito talking about how it's a living. I would love if you could just, do you have our cool question? Well, it sucks to find out this way. I guess four years of marriage, Mosquito takes off a wedding ring throws on the ground, is out the door. Oh no!

I can't believe you've gotten into animation. I love the wonderful cartoon. Thank you, thank you. Gary, I'm a big fan, by the way. I like the one where the bear's leaving the circus. That's funny. I can't believe you have been struck by lightning brought into life and somehow we're all familiar with his entire catalog. Gary. Yeah,

Please don't bother people by constantly showing them your your books. It's just it's just you know your time is past. Oh, oh, that's why you live in an event at an optometrist. I mean, my day by day calendars are still selling, but I guess I'm not as... Because you're buying them. Well, yes, because I need to decorate my apartment. Am I interrupting? I'm so sorry. I'll head out.

It's one of those love-having relationships. He loves dark-skinned girls. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, it's fine. I'll go melt somewhere, I guess. I don't know why I even have consciousness. Actually, I'm not doing anything now. Could I buy you a cup of blood? What?

Shantay. Same. That felt like a fever-dry, garylarsin cartoon. Fever-dry, 100%. I like the old-time, a cow with old timing glasses. Perfectly describes every Gary Larson aesthetic. That's true. My dad definitely had all of those books and I for sure read them.

Oh yeah. It's like at some point started to feel like, I like it. Yeah, I think it's like old Simpsons episodes where you revisit it at a certain age and you get or even like MSTK 3000. You first discovered it like 10, you don't get 90% of it. You come back to it at 15, you understand 50%. So you slowly learn more and more. I use like 150 Post-it notes to mark all the ones I liked and I made my dad go through

them with me one by one. I was like, thank God you're home from your long day of work. So like every other one. Yeah. I like what I also want is for you to have explained to him why you didn't pick the other one. Oh, I'm still talking about each other. I was actually in the fence about this one, but I thought it was a little bit similar to the one I have to see see this. And Aaron, you guys left your family? Yeah. No, Aaron's dad's like, okay, honey, but the escape room, there's an hour to do the room. So we eventually we do have to do the self-support. And the room. So we eventually have to do the self-support. And I go, no, Aaron's tension will do just fine. No, no, no.

Let's do this dog standing on two legs. Can you believe it? Cup of coffee. Let's do one more before we take a break. Here we go. This one is a short to the point introduction to a piece of Microsoft software. This is almost a word, Avalanche. A short to the point introduction to a piece of Microsoft software.

A short introduction. I'm trying to think of, let's go with this software. We got word, PowerPoint, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, word. We got word power point. Ding ding ding. Excel. Ding ding ding. Oh, word. We got word. Oh, word. A brief introduction is a word. A word word, word, word goes off word. Not far off.

A word. To word, word. So, and this is kind of a hard one at the beginning here. So it is a word, but specifically it's short. So like if you're trying to explain something to someone, if you're trying to summarize and say you could get across the explanation of the software in under 10 words. Elevator pitch. Okay, I'll give to you.

A four word. So four hyphen word. Okay. So like you use four words to explain it. What? That's a thing. Hold on. Wait, I guess. Like, give me the four word version. I've never heard that. That's not what four words. Word, word, word, word, word. A four word is like this. Like, yeah, someone's friend who writes a little thing about how great the book is about to be. Well, that's part of this riddle. I never thought that by the way.

If your friend is writing your forward, I go, okay, that's your friend. They're going to lie for you. I want to do it from your enemy. I want to know. Ringo stars Bio with Ford by Paul McCartney. You know, thanks. Paul's being like, he's so sweet. Oh, what a cute little.

He's so good at drums. If you're going to read a forward. I just want to think of his writing. He is so sweet. Here, what a cute little. He's so good at drums. If you're ready for it. God, just a fortune think of his writing. He is so sweet. Here's how you start a forward. The only way, the only acceptable way to start a forward for someone's book is, look, I never met this fucking guy. And then say whatever you're gonna say. But you gotta give me the reader a chance to know,

where to say. Stay neutral. Yeah, stay neutral. Okay, here's, I wanna play a very quick game. This will last as long as it's fun There was something last time about thistles it haunts me to this day That's what it was this old thistle. Yeah, this old thistle So we're gonna play a very quick game. So what's gonna happen is Aaron Janet and myself we are going to give fake book titles

Okay, JPC every time we give one you are going to very is Aaron Janet and myself, we are going to give fake book titles. JPC every time we give one, you are going to very quickly give a forward to the book. Okay. Okay, the first book is my children's book. Okay. That is called Darby the Dog who can't swim. Darby the Dog who can't swim. Get your fucking kid!

Okay, my science book is Oswitch's, who knew? Oswitch's senior, okay. Experiment, I meant to, about, about. I got one for you, last one. Alright, this one is the Bible. The Bible? Mm-hmm. Moses, on down.

The Bible. Look,hmm. Moses? Undow! The Bible! Look, I never met this guy. A short to the point interaction to a piece of Microsoft software. I think we have almost all the components. We just need to say them in order. Four word, four word, four word. Word. A four word, four word, four word.

And what was the last two? Four word. Four forward forward that is correct a forward forward forward forward forward what's the third one so a four word four words sure forward forward and then FOR for what and then the software word but you but I still don't know what the third one is and I know that it's but why are there two four words? You said a four word got that one, even though that was fake. Okay, so I've never heard that before in my life.

So a four word, yeah, compound word, four word. That is the short, the short of it. Short, four word got the next, the next part of the riddle was to the point, which would be four word. Yeah, the next part is an introduction, which would be a forward. A forward. No. Yeah, and then that.

The to the point should have been replaced with handsy. Yeah. He's very forward. Very. A little old name with that man. I was like forward, forward, handsy. Yeah. Have you, real quick, have you ever been on a date

with the Microsoft paperclip? Absolute creep. Yeah, yeah. I think we've called him a pervert multiple times on the show. He spanked me when I was sitting down somehow. I don't know how he did. And then he got bent out of shape. That's too powerful. I just, he excels at really good even. Oh no, anyone have any more? Where are we going?

He told me to bend over and spread sheet. He power pointed to his penis. She power pointed to his penis. Yeah. Oh. Okay, I'd like to see a scene. There's nothing to do with what we're talking about. Don't worry. GTC, you are like a computer teacher right in the time where computers are being invented

and Janet and Adal you are in his computer class and you're just so confounded and confused by the soul thing. You think it's insane. Um, Mr. Hendrix? Absolutely. Um, the demons inside this box aren't letting me type, I don't think. What incantation do I need to do to make it work? Sarah, I'm glad you brought that up because I can sense in you a lot of fear. Now remember, we control these demons.

We put them in the box, okay? There's nothing to be feared because we have beat the demons. But how about... But how about the laser, sir? How about the laser? Okay. We don't want a pinhead, sir. I was visited by one of my sleep and it was terrible. I know you all just came from media class, but this is computer class. Okay.

So, Hendrix? Mm-hmm. Uh, two questions. One, any relation? I'm sorry. Any relation? I noticed you were left handed. Two? Guitar player. Oh, oh, oh. Did you be, I'm sorry. I thought you bit Christina. I also thought that sir. Oh Christina as well. Yeah, because I thought your name was spelled differently in my head. Got it. Look, I know we just came from media class and uh,

Oh, you were, we were that you're taking our media class. Mr. Henry, I'm comfortable with you. This is a separate subject, but we've all discussed it. And we think it's a little odd. First of all, I'm auditing it. I'm auditing it because I was in that coma and I missed so much media. Oh, that's right. Um, I was in the coma.

I woke up knowing how to put the divins in this thing, but I, but I've, I've never watched Mad Men or Hellraiser or the Star Spangled Banner. You went into a coma after you were at that Smith's concert and more see through his guitar at your head? Let's not say what years I was at the coma, because it's beginning to be untenable. Mr. Hatter's mate. I hope one day you'll be able to see the Star Spangled Banner. What were you gonna say Gus? Oh, I was gonna say my second question is, is this some sort of electronic Ouija board? Oh, Gus, that's a great question. In many ways Gus this some sort of electronic Ouija board? Oh, God, that's a great question.

And in many ways, God said, is an electronic Ouija board? Except in the Ouija board, the demons can come out and they could do real world effects. I could really hurt you kids, so be careful. But in this instance, the demons are trapped inside, they cannot come out and they must do our bidding. And the only thing we've been able to figure out what our bidding is is like, I guess a pretty astounding math. My mom always said that my aunt Daphne is always battling her demons, so it must be similar to that.

Daphne? Gus? Your family sucks. Kid. I gotta say. They- Can I leave class, please, to cry? You should cry in class. Everyone should feel comfortable crying in this class. Can I hide it or my desk sir?

I guess you could try I mean We're gonna see under that desk Cuz go under the desk and see if you can look up from the bottom and see the demons like but from the inside I don't feel like we'll feel empowered and we will feel as scared of the demons. Oh, yeah That's just like in your speech class, which we'll be going to in about five minutes. I will go to. I will go to. Oh, no, but there is a black tail with two little prongs, little devil prongs on you.

Now, imagine that tail. Hale Satan. Hale Satan. Hale Satan. Hale, Hale, Hale, Hale, Hale, Hale, Hale Satan. Hale Satan. Hale Satan. Hale Satan.

Hale Satan. Hale Satan. Hale Satan. Hale Satan. Hale Satan. Hale Satan. Hale Satan. H Hail Satan, or Hail will. Listen, religion is two periods from now, okay? So don't start this hails nonsense yet. You're in my class and we're gonna go by my rules. Also, guys, we have like two decades before we have to start worrying about whether he or her. I mean, right now it's all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nobody say what year it is. Nobody's gonna make a reference just to what year it is. We cannot defy it.

We can't, yes. Mr. Hendricks, we know you are in a coma. Everything isn't a spoiler. Okay, we have to be able to still talk about stuff. Yeah, and also how do you know that you're not still in a coma? Coma, coma, coma. No, kids stop doing this. Sorry, you do this every class. You tell for it 20 times that I'm a row. Row, row. Bro, bro.

No, it's traumatic. It's traumatic for me. It's a falling for it. May your handers. Yes. Can you explain something that was on the quiz today? You are sure. You asked us to tell you why Zatterans was Satan's rice?

Yeah. Why is Zatterans Satan's rice? Why would I put it on the quiz if I knew? I asked you to tell me. I was in a coma. I'm sorry, Gus, were you in a coma? Are you? Are you auditing your own computer class?

Yeah. Look, the teacher got- That's like meta in a way that the real teacher got sucked into the computer. He's a demon now. I don't know. He's a demon. So, what are the two of you doing to my wife?

To my wife, to my wife, to my wife, to my wife? Did I bring this- Did I bring this energy of fever dream to every day? I love it when Aaron breaks this up because we recorded on Thursday, not four days ago. I didn't. I guarantee you, Adam, remembers that because he can remember as far as two most staff. Bragg. Well, speaking of Bragg, and four words, we do have ads. Yeah, that's not work. That'll work.

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Who are, what a performance. Helix mattresses all come with a 10 to 15 year warranty depending on the model. Oh stunning. Yeah, look, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to helix sleep.com slash riddle. This is their best offer yet, and it will not last long with Helix better sleep starts now. Go ahead and give her the Academy of Snorr. The Snorr? Academy of Snorr? You know what? Give me the Academy has gnawed. Glid close to falling asleep. That's why you're here.

Oh yeah. I got that a lot. Hey, Adel, hey, Aaron, I got a bone to pick with the two of you. Sure, yeah, I wore the skeleton outfit just because I figured this was coming. Happy Halloween a few months early. It's not yet the... What is it? So you know how the two of you, I was like, guys, I am always so hungry for lunches and dinners

and the like and you, jokers, told me, oh, JPC, it's okay. All you have to do is take some, you know, American paper currency, tape it to your front door, close the door, and then wait until someone brings you food. Well, I kept opening the door and the money was gone gone So I had to take more money to my door. I think you didn't work at all Door cash yeah, you did door cash. We told you door dash is the number one thing to you With door dash you'll enjoy next level convenience with delivery in the hour making it easier than ever To get whatever you want

delivered to your house, whether that be back to school supplies or whatever it is that you eat. JPC, which I don't know what you eat. I eat back to school supplies. But wait, JPC, all your favorite retail, grocery and convenience stores are on the app. So you can chop everything, your kids, your dogs, your family might need for back to school. And hey, personally, your kids, your dogs, your family might need for back to school.

And hey, personally, just yesterday, I bought some Marsha's homemade premium quality buck eyes, you know, those candies that are chocolate stuff with peanut butter. I just got those from DoorDash and they were, they were on my porch within 20 minutes. And it's very, very dangerous because they're delicious. Did you fill your belly and your pantry? Yes. Did you fill your belly and your pantry? Uh, yes. Did you fill your backpack? I did.

Okay, well then DoorDash has come again for the gold. I remember distinctively the stress of going back to school and going from store to store to get all my favorite snacks and pencils and pencil cases and all the things that I needed me and my siblings and I remember how stressed my mom was and I know that she would have loved to have door dash so she could be prepared before the big back to school day arrived so you can stock up with go to breakfast lunchbox staples and brands that you love don't eat my school supplies JPC but that a raster but that trapper keeper down your mouth is too small never told that before. Shop door dash to get everything you need for the back to school season delivered right to your door. Order now for stress free back to school shopping. Use promo code riddle to get 50% off up to $10 value. When you spend $15 or more at convenience,

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I mean, no, that's the one. That one didn't work. That one's bad. Hey, JPC. Uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking at all.

And I'm setting up a whole website to prank him. Okay. I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand.

Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website. It engaged with your audience and so did you think for products to cut into time all in one place all on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here. Come here, come here. Hey, what's what's going on? I actually, I want to prank GPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him.

Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch, you can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand,

design your products and production, and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's going to use an interior.

And I'm going to use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website, the prank activity. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron.

I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. The website was for. Prank. With Squarespace. Yes, with Prank. I can't remember what's the website for. Frank. Square space. Yes, Frank.

You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey, JPC, hey, JPC. What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial.

And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how?

I don't know. And we are back. Wow! Four words. Oh wait, uh, TPC, Aaron, I don't know if I told you this, but during the ad break, I actually came up with a really fun short story that's only two words. Um, so fuck you Hemingway, I actually came up with a really fun short story that's only two words. Um, so fuck you Hemingway I actually came up with the, uh, saddest two word story. And that is animal parade. Oh no. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I game we made up and never played with you. Do you know how to play? Yes, I do Again, we again, we made up into the eye under the table sold to Chuckie cheese Like a dozen people message us and they're like Chuckie cheese just straight up ripped off your fucking game You know there's not a real guy though, right? We don't let a company Charles entertainment cheese

Guy though, right? We don't let a company. Charles Entertainment Cheese. There's my mistake was thinking that there's no overlap in our fan base. No one. Oh, yeah. There's only overlap. There's only overlap. It's surely only showbiz listeners.

It's his middle name, really, entertainment. Oh, yeah. His name is Charles Entertainment Cheese. That's true. Wow. So, I'm so sorry. So what we do with animal praise, we're gonna lay down a fat sick fucking beat. And then we're gonna list animals doing something over the beat.

We'll do a few, maybe run or two and then Janet, please join in. If you feel comfortable. Okay. So let's lay down that thick beat. Boop, doop, doop, doop. Right? Everyone. Yeah, we can't remember.

We can't do it in unison. We don't do that over zoom because of how it doesn't actually work anymore. So it's just gonna be adult doing it and then someone will pick it up with your dropout. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, a rattle snake with a 9-to-5, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, a cow with a hair cut. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, a lemur with a mustache.

Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, a fancy fox with a heart of gold, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, a fancy fox with a heart of gold. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, you know if you point, if you point on Zoom, here's the camera, we will all think it's our turn. So you don't have a special camera that just speaks to me. We all pointed. It was three people.

It's a large range. We didn't. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, at your wrath, who could point? Duh, duh, duh, duh, wait, am I the giraffe? Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, a lonely moose who's down to fuck. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that you pointing at? Does that go to does that gang go towards filling the riddle quota because I'm a Paul at how few we've done. And I know that like you guys joke about how you never do riddles, but I we really have done almost none. Right. Yeah. See, this is what we need.

That's the reason why Janet has been made. I'm a task mistress host because she is a task mistress she keeps us on track because we're going to forgo the true animal bread segment which is where I read a long article about animals and then we talk about it and we're gonna go back into some more word and lunch. Do the intro not the segment. So the very first time we did an edible parade, Aaron and I thought the intro was the segment. And we were gabs back. Now it's just become the whole segment is just the intro. Like we said it was 100 fucking episodes ago.

I'm sorry. You know what, if you're gonna be an equal part host, you have to be here for some of our biggest fights. Yeah, Janet, you don't just get to sit through our successes, you have to sit through our failures. And stewing them. I'm in, better or worse, baby. Okay, here we go.

Now, it looks like the last couple here get a little bit scandalous from E.B. Okay, this one's a little tough but I'm gonna read it. God damn quadruple sex hurts. I gotta go. Okay. God damn quadruple sex hurts. For play. For four. For four. Four. Second commandment. Four. Is it four? Four. Four. Four is the first part, but it's not for some. But so good as God damn. Yeah. What's God damn for us? That's just a little thought. God damn. So God damn, we're going to reinterpret or re-imagine that exclamation as a as something else Okay, okay So instead of saying like darn it you might say like fuck me like it's it's kind of replacing or slotting in

For that expression. So instead of God damn it Um, you might say this, but to get that, you're gonna have to think about quadruple sex hurts. For fuck's sake. Yeah, yeah, that's it. For fuck's sake. Yep.

But that's the first part. Aaron, I think you were on the right track. You said something. For fuck's sake. For fuck's sake. For fuck's sake. For fuck's sake. That's it.

That's the whole thing. It's for sake. It's for Fox sake, which replaces goddamn and then quadruple sex hurts is for Fox eight. Okay. For Fox sake. For Fox sake. Oh, I get it. I get it. Yes. For Fox sake. I got it. I got it. That's cool. Hey guys, I left, but I'm back. What I mean? Nothing. You're perfect. My soul left, but I'm back. What I mean? Nothing your perfect my soul left, but my body is here Here we go. Here's another one. That's a little bit scandalous and she has for more riddles And now aren't we all just eating our big pie of humble Shepherds meal. Yeah, Janet. I got to tell you we could be reading about Japan's Capobra long bath championship.

So thank you for coming. That's it. That's it. Japan has a contest to see which Kappa Barra takes the longest bath. But that is fun. Adal Yolimil, to me later. Yes, I'll call you and we'll discuss.

Also, email it to you for the point. Point, points at camera. JBC, the way you just tried to describe a pie of any sort made it sound like you're an alien going I should have googled some food before I started to pretend look at us sitting down to eat this high of humble shepherds together elbows or the table You're an alien are too Your bitter You're an alien, aren't you? You're a herb. No, I did some googling. I know that humans eat crow pie.

This is what they eat. I think the first red flag was you saying gab smacked. I'm completely gab smacked. That's when you're talking too much to someone slaps you across the base. That's when the gab smacked. It's when you go smacked and gab smacked. It's when you go smack and gab smocked. It's when you're wearing a shirt with a malfonet.

Before when you go to a God smack concert with your friend Gabrielle. Add a cat's uke. I love the boy. I love you guys. Okay, let's do another one. Again, this is gonna be in the Slatius category. Don't blame me, blame eb.

E-b. Two girls with the same name, take ecstasy and have sex. Two girls in a cup. Oh yes, cup. Reverse but day. Two girls with the same name take X to C and have sex. Stacy and mom. Stacy takes E.

Oh Stacy. Stacy from underage. Hold on. Sorry. Someone who changed their name from Stacy. X Stacy. Stacy. That their name from Stacy. X Stacy. Stacy. That's me.

Stacy. Yeah, I hate to say it, but that's actually brilliant. X Stacy. It takes X Stacy. Is it X or E? Oh. Two girls with the same name take X to see. But you could say E. But yeah, I mean, say X to see again. That's one of the slang name take ecstasy. But you could say E.

But yeah, I mean, say ecstasy again. That's one of the slang words that we kids know. E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E Cummings because there are two girls having said he coming haha Yep, shut it off. You're right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's, but E.B. White did mention his mom's pasta. Aaron, what was your question? Um, so it is E, right? It is not E. Oh, okay. A lot of people don't know this, but E.E.

coming stands for entertainment entertainment. Come on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He did it. JPC. If you look behind you, I sent you an edible arrangement for your troubles.

And that was that improv? Because that was funny. I liked that. I don't know. That looks a big game about his big two-month memory, but guess you can remember it's up from 30 seconds ago. Not too much of a hot shot now. You said a word twice, which I like. Janet, you sound like every parent who comes to see improv,

where they hear, they watch like two hours of it, and they hear one funny line, and they're like, was that one line improv? Because if it's that, I'm on board. Yeah. It's like, well, there are some funny lines along the way. I do want to see a scene. We're going to backtrack slightly,

but it did just get brought up, so I feel comfortable seeing it. Thank you. Aaron, you are a boss lady business bitch. Is that your song? Can we hear a quick reminder? I think it's boss baby. I think I changed it to boss baby business bitch. She's a boss baby business bitch.

She's doing the math. She's writing it down. You know what? Come at me. I have some shit to say to you boss baby people. Two movies about a baby that's a boss. Call me. Sure.

Aaron, you are a boss baby business owner. And JPC, you are Charles Entertainment Cheese. You did get fired from your namesake establishment and you are on a job interview for a new job. Step into my office. Can you believe how big my windows are? Whoa, what are these bay? Yeah, and they look out into this great city. I have a corner office. Take a seat. This is nice. I'm gonna be honest. This is a little more big leagues in the last place that I was working.

No, really? What is this gap in your resume? Yeah, I mean, I worked there because basically they said if I worked there for four weeks, I could get 40% off. Oh, the gap. No, I'm talking. I see that you worked there for four weeks, but then there's nothing after that. Well, yeah, I mean, those clothes have a super high-reset value on the street.

So basically, I took the clothes, I flipped them, and then I just kept flipping. Are you familiar with NFTs? It's essentially the same thing. It was me, like, this wall. My familiar with NFTs. Yeah, we were all buying each other's gap clothes, and then just driving the price up and up and up and up and up. And so that, basically, I worked off of that for a while, but again, that whole thing was above bubble and with it crashed I decided I'd go back into the workforce and so here I am and

Wait, what did where did you start out? Do you mind if I smoke a pizza in here? No, I'll crack a window It's gonna be loud as fuck up here because I'm so high up in this building, but I don't mind Do you mind if I smoke a high heel? I'm having it all So yeah, I mean please anymore. I'm happy to discuss my resume. It speaks for itself, but I am happy to discuss it So tell me where did you um says you started? I'm gonna share the window

I'm gonna share the window. It's starting to fall. Yeah, is that the funny Sullivan with Channel 4? It's great acoustics. Yeah. Great acoustics from inside the helicopter. The smoke from the smoked rolled up pizza slice sets off the fire system and marinara sprays out into the room.

Don't mind that. I never do. I usually burn my mozzarella sticks, so I set up this entire system. I'm the boss around here, as you could probably tell. Tell me, what business did you start? I started a little business called Chuck E. Cheese, Pizzeria. Interesting. I've been there with my children. That's right, I have children. I'm having it all. Oh, wow. I have children. I'm having it all. Oh wow. I've even been to their birthday parties a time or two.

And we cut to, I want to cut back in time to a birthday party with Janet as the birthday kid. And this is the incident that got Chuck E. Cheese fired. Mom? Honey, I'm on the phone right now doing business deals by sale fire him higher Her I'm in a crisis. I'm in a kid crisis. Oh, you're in a kid crisis. Well, I can help you Oh, Mr. Cheese what an honor. Please you can call me Chuckie. Oh Okay, Chuckie. I'm in a crisis that just just to be clear, my name is Chuck E. Cheese. So what does it call be Chuckie?

It's not Chuckie. It's Chuckie. Okay, I'm in a crisis. Just say it. Chuckie. Chuckie. No, you're saying Chuckie. Listen to you little shit.

Chuckie. Chuckie. Chuckie. No. You're saying Chuckie. Hey, stop yelling at my kid. Hey. I'm so sorry. Here's $10 in tokens that should solve it. Chuckie no you're saying I'm so sorry here's here's $10 tokens that should solve it Charles can I see my office? Oh My god

Yeah, boss Charles that little girl it was her birthday and not only did she just shit her pants in the ball pit But you were holding her head under the ball pit as if she would drown. Shit her pants, new pants, the gap. You know what? Fuck you. I don't need this job. Charles, I think it was me that got you fired. That's okay. Things have a habit of ending up exactly where they're supposed to end up, and I think

fate has brought me back here. Just two people, Drinst and Meredith, and an office on the 50th floor of a building. Alright, tell me, can you resell these gap jeans for me? Oh yeah, I could sell those gap jeans. Sorry, I was real thirsty. Just having some Meridero off the floor. I want to hear more from that guy in the helicopter. He's doing traffic or the weather or whatever.

JBC, quick question. Do you, are Gap in supreme a one-to-one for you in terms of a street resale value? I mean, you know what? It doesn't matter what the product is. If I'm selling it, it's going to make some money. Okay. God, he's good. God, he's good.

God, he's good. Speaking? God, he's good. God, he's good. God, he's good. Speaking of God, he's good. Two girls with the same name take ecstasy and have sex. Now, Aaron. This was so tough. Aaron, I don't want to be, I don't want to put two fine to point on it as they might be giant smite sing,

but this is a name that is in your role at X. Aaron. Oh. Oh. Is it Aaron? You gotta start somewhere. That's your first guess. Oh no, we're shooting a-a-r-o-n beginning of the next. Oh yes, it says yes.

E-e-e-e. And it's a name you're familiar with that is synonymous with ecstasy. Molly. Ech. Molly? Molly. You're gonna get it, Molly. Molly, Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly. Okay, we have to come up with a different one.

Get in the Molly Molly Molly. It was later renamed pretty in pink. Molly Molly Molly Molly Molly you just started emphasizing. Okay, they're at a shopping center. I get it mall, yes. I feel the mall, ee. Eee. So, yes, but we do need some interstitial words to connect it and make sense of it all. So, two girls.

Uh-huh. With the same name. Two girls with the same name, so that would be. Two mallies. Think famous Bob Dylan albums? Uh-oh. No, thank you. Why? I'm good. Think famous Bob Dylan albums? Uh oh. Uh oh. No thank you.

Why? I'm good. She too... She thought that would help us. Okay. It's Molly on Molly. Molly on Molly. Okay.

Molly on Molly on Molly on Molly on Molly on Molly. Yes. Molly on Molly on Molly on Molly. Gently down the stream. Here's my question The country of Molly is right there. How how do we not have that word? Different spelling some Molly different I'm the captain now

Molly Molly on Molly on Molly on Molly on Molly on Molly Yeah, dare say I might prefer it when we make lazy bad guesses and then someone else has to reverse engineer what we must mean. I feel like there's some gems hidden in there. Yeah, we should make the audience work. So from now on, we're going to give the, we're avalanche and you have to send us in the question. Yeah. Yeah. And we're going to start hiding a wall though in some of these episodes. Do you've lied to me. Do this, Erin, Erin, Erin, Erin, Erin, Erin. Figure that out, assholes. And then call me about Boss Baby,

because I'm still mad about it. Adol riding cattle, eating fiddle, faddle, rotisaddle with a paddle. So these aren't all that, just, just, just, just, that's just the saying. I'd be like, Adol, Adol, Adol, Adol, Adol, Adol, Adol. Some, some total, Adel, Adel, Adel Braind. Like some total, Adel, Adel. So if you make the sum total of me,

when I got hit on the head, it would be Adel, Adel, Adel. Adel, Adel, Adel. Yeah, Adel Braind, like Adel, Adel, Adel, Adel. And then your shirt had a stain on it, so you add all brains like add all, add old addels. And then your shirt had a stain on it, so you add all. Jenna, what the fuck? Yes. The reason that we don't post video is because I don't know how to do laundry.

I feel very attacked right now. Well, that's recipes gonna fix it. It also happens to be a word of a ledge. Ooh, then continue. So sorry, the stain was, well, no, she already flipped it. She got you in the face, man. She flipped your stain, she hitched in the nose, and that's the game. That the fuck is it?

Is this how we're gonna, in this episode, is me being attacked again? No, let's see. Jan. You're in trouble. Alright, so it's like, if it's like, Varnie fishes the first month of the year. Janet, Janet. Janet. Janet. Janet. Janet. Janet. Janet. Varnie fishes the first month of the year. Janet, Janet, net. Jan's net.

Jan's net. Jan's net. I totally want to open up a place called Jan's net. So if, if, uh, Varnie was on the drum set, it would be Janet, James it. James it. That's fun, right?

Janet. I think you have to, I think it's not in the spirit of the word Avalanche to go one letter off. I think you have to go with Janet Janet Janet Janet Janet. It's got to be like Miss Goodall's Device for catching gorillas. Jan's net She's her name Jan. No, Jan. Jane good old. It's fine. Let's rewrite history Miss Goodalls, Miss pronounced name. Hold on. We, we can save this. We can salvage this. Miss Kudals.

I think I had it figured out, but go up. Aaron, please. What was it? I don't remember. Goodbye. J-P-C's. You get this gotta be good. There's gotta be something good in there.

Like J Leno is politically correct. Uh-huh. Yes, I got it. J's PC. And then he has a personal computer. It's not an Apple. Jay's PC PC P's C because Took some of that vitamin C that was offered up early and then drawing attention to a

Vegee's side dish P's C C J P J P C P C. I think this is the only one with potential. So right in the show. What are you talking about? You or the joke. Well, yeah, you were at the show you told me. I think this is the only one with potential. I wasn't aware that if I pointed to something people would tell what it was. So, well, you're pointing to yourself. So, that would be my options. Janet, Janet, Janet. Well, I like when it's more haunting and smooth.

Janet, Janet, Janet. Yeah, say it three times and all of a year and you're causing it behind your wall bigger. No. Now, Janet, we did call you Janet Morph for a while. Can we call you Janet? I guess. I mean, does everyone feel like that

for you to bring back fun memories for this episode? I think Jammit could be your DJ name when you start DJing. DJ Jammit. But then I'll have to start doing the podcast with only one year. Yeah, no one wants that.

What did you do though? To hear suggestions for the next song? Just to hear compliments. I want a commission and artist for my office wall. I want a commission and artist to draw a DJ with headphone off one ear and he's just silently crying while cupping his ear and there's an audience to just say in there. That's very fun. That's a far side.

Yeah, that's a part of that girl. That would have been a scene I called for if I didn't feel like you were desperately trying to end this episode. Well, Aaron did say goodbye about a minute ago. So Janet, we have time for one scene. Please call it. Well, I just thought maybe having JPC be a DJ at a wedding who is constantly waiting for the accolades

that he's not getting. 100% we have to play song. Okay, so DJPC waiting the accolades that he's not getting Okay, so DJ PC and and Adel you are the groom and Aaron you're the bride Or flip it you know what I'm Lucy open wow wow wow look who's look who's PC now regular JPC of the show But Janet can you can you state just for evidence who proposed to who just so we know where you stand You both proposed to each other exactly exactly the day of some time unplanned unplanned scary Because you because you're a couple you're one of those couples that happens to say most of the stuff at the exact same time is each other Like in this scene and see All right everybody if we finish each others

vows Sorry, honey. I'm sorry. Yeah, I was listening to the music, sorry. Oh yeah, sorry I got started a little early. It seemed like it was, kind of bummers veiled. Anyway, that last song was, I wanna dance with somebody. Didn't like it the pop that I think it deserves so I'm gonna play it again. Can I, honey, can I ask something?

Yeah. That was definitely I want to dance with somebody, but that was not Whitney Houston. It sounded like either the DJ singing or maybe a kid's box. I want to dance with somebody. I'm pretty sure he's trying to just sneak his version of every song. I want to feel the sheets. Whatever you do. I want to fill the sheets with somebody. There's some money? There's kids.

Hey buddy, there's kids here. Can you put on something a little, here's one, two things. One, do not play, we are family. I don't want to hear that today. Okay. Can you put on something that everyone can dance to? Like not, there's no launch, there's no curse words, there's no innuendo. Sure.

Okay, so this is no innuendo? No please. Okay, this is Come on Eileen by Dexie's Mid innuendo. Sure. Okay, so this is no innuendo? No, please. Okay, this is Come On, Eileen by Dexie Smith, right there. Listen to the title. Listen to the words you just said. Why don't you listen to the words? Come on, Eileen, hallu na ya. Come on, big old pie, humble pie,

full of pie crows, Ellen. Look, I love it with you. I am an alien, my shit crash. Bobat's a go, onto a DJ. I quit. I got it, I got it, woo! Okay, she's loving it. Someone get the brain of others to water.

Sorry, no, my wife is sarcastic. That's how she communicates. Do you have, here's what I'll do, buddy. Yeah. I gotta say, I thank you for coming, Clean. I do need to know how you need to be paid if you can't spend our human money. But more importantly, there's a party going on. Why don't you play one of your songs from your, that sounds weird.

One of, one of your people's songs, that still sounds bad. Wow. One of, honey, quick. He's packing up his DJ booth. I don't know what to say I'm sorry. How's that open your mouth? I just just like I'm sorry I have been to a lot of planets and I have never been disrespected the way that I be Disrespecting Play take a play. I'm gonna leave. I'll just take my payment for 100 goreblons and I'll be on my way

I am Gore Blod at that scene. Absolutely, Gore Blod. Uh, Gore Blods, Gore Blods. Well, Janet, thank you so much for coming back. We will have you on very soon again. Congratulations on being our fourth host. Yes. How do you feel about that?

I'm so honored and I do want to reiterate that I did wear my hair at a riddle shirt. This is just for the three of you. My, my gentleman friend was like, oh, you look great. Like how many, you know, so is this, there's not live. The video goes out later and I was like, oh, there's no video. You have a lot of makeup on. You've coordinated your sweater with your

Hey Riddle Riddle shirt for who? For me. Every smile for Aaron and for no one else. Except you. Yeah, right. I gotta say, it really sucked to click on the link and be like, come into the room and see Janet looking stunning. And suddenly I'm like, oh, no.

I look like I just painted a dog's house. Oh, stop. You just have something on your shirt is all. Could happen to anyone. I don't know how to do laundry. Don't call me sloppy. Janet, is everything you want to promote or plug? No. Well, I don't know when, I don't know if I guess probably

on my episode, my JV Club episode that Aaron was on came out at like a time where probably it came out and then now you're still doing episodes that you recorded beforehand or something. Anyway, I don't have time works or podcasts, calendars, or your phones. But Aaron was on my podcast at JV Club and we had so much fun. It was the best time. One of my all time favorite episodes I giggled to my heart's content and you should check it out.

Janet, this episode just so you know, this episode comes out July 2020. Okay. I will, I vow to have Aaron on my podcast. So don't scare anyone. Meet me back here. And if don't understand how time or podcast works. And everyone let me back here.

If you listen to that episode that I was on, we talk about a playlist and it's public. So people want to listen to it. It's called Irish Woman Standing in the Fog on a boat a very long time ago. I took me weeks to make it so good and it's so long and Aaron was embarrassed by how long it was. It was 150 songs at first and I got it down to 40. It was a whole chunk of my life was this playlist. So if you want to check that out. Karen, can you put it in the Patreon newsletter or something?

Yeah. Or is it's titled on how to find it in Janet's episode and Janet's podcast? I think, no, but I can put it in the link for this episode too. Look, look, we cannot explain to you guys how to find it. I said the full panel. It'll find it. Aaron said the full panel. So, but you have to be on a boat in fog, on water, feeling melancholy. At a very long time ago, and you know what?

I, the plays won't play. Really serious about that, you guys, don't. So you're saying there's smashing pumpkins on this list. I don't know. You can just do that. I didn't know you could just search, Spotify for other people's playlists. Oh, yeah. So everyone can see people's playlists. Oh, yeah. So everyone can see my sex playlist.

Yeah. What's it called? Everyone can see my, I didn't know how else to break up with you, but. My sex, if anybody wants to find it, my sex playlist on Spotify is called Mommy's Little Fuck Order. Uh, Aaron, do you have anything you would like

to plug besides that wonderful playlist? No, just check out sitcom D&D if you haven't yet. And then also, um, if you wrote Boss Baby, you can email me at buckbossbabyagmail.com. And I always like to have work with you. I'm not sure if you can. We have some email address. Uh, yeah, we got new merch from Jasmine Darnell. And it's in our T public store, which is you can find by clicking the link in the episode

description. So go and check out that merch. And hey, maybe one day Janet will be wearing that merch to one of our recordings. That's it. I'll have it on my next one. I'll have it on my next one. I'll have it on my next one.

Chris, we're gonna send Janet some merch. I'll pay for our money shipping. And we will be releasing Jamit hats. I'm so sorry, you have no say in this. You get none of the profit. I can't believe you're not releasing Jamit Janis. What a missed opportunity. Oh, damn it.

Oh, man, Jamit the Frog is going to have our ass. Jamit the Frog here. Addle anything to plug? Yes, I recently guessed it on a few podcasts. I might be repeating myself from a few episodes ago, but just to be sure, and I don't know if they're out there. I'll do remember. Nice.

Hi, five. You were there more than two months ago. Please check me out on the podcast My Neighbors Are Dead, The Big Bad Live Show, I don't remember. Nice, high five. There were more than two months ago. Please check me out on the podcast, My Neighbors Are Dead, The Big Bad Live Show, Philosophy versus Improv, TV Trivia Pod. This startup is being recorded and what clicks may come, which was one of my favorite guests

about to have ever done on what clicks may come. So please check them all out. But that was, it's a recency bias. That was one of my favorites for recently. So you only done podcasts since the last time I saw you? Yes, I live in a little hole. I live in the vent with Gary Larson and my mosquito wife. I try and do every,

I guess I invite to me. I love it. I think that's wonderful. Trying to pay it forward. Because folks like you and PFT and all these folks were kind enough to come on My shows when we were first starting out, but also you guys are just really funny. It's really fun to be on your shows Oh my god

Okay, so if you're recording a podcast out there And when everybody hears this in July of 2020 Yeah, Janet anything you want to wear out? Aren't these wildfires a bummer? No. Aaron, they said the wildfires are so blazingly bright. How bright are they? Great setup, dude, joke. That you can see them all the way from space

from a little area called Jupiter Goodbye. Bye, forever. Hey, you're all the way Bye for others. I just wave Oh That was a big drink. Oh, I took a big drink. Oh too big too big too big a drink put some back. Jen's gonna put some back Oh, no, let me reverse the day some more. Yeah, you just acted out of reverse bidet. Hey there, Brian's and Turtles. If you like that, you are gonna love this week's Patreon. We bring you to the pet store, Brian's Turtles, and it is a wild ride.

You can listen to that plus our entire Batcow log at patreon.com, such a riddle riddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or the review crew and and for episodes for $8 a month. See you there! That was a Hate-Gum podcast.