Hey Riddle Riddle - #199: Bowling For Flamingos

Episode Date: May 11, 2022

My Dearest Listener,  Today's episode has been lonely without you. I dreamt last night of a man who was eternally 40 years old! He fired me from my job after I was being weird on a ski lift. Anywho, if you remember, call the plumber and send me more of those CAKE parody songs! Love,  Your Fancy Ant Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. I'm ready to run! Run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, the front of the war. I miss your tender touch in your kisses. I miss our late night chats until we follow sleep by the fireplace. Someday soon I will meet you again. I will be running up the front path all the way to the door stop and I'll grab you in my arms. Carry you inside and make love to you all night long. I can't wait to reunite you. Scratch that out, can't re-nate too. Scratch that out, can't wait to reunite with you. Oh, all these gunshots are really shaking my nose. I'll be home safe soon.

Love you, Charles. My dearest Charles. Hey, your letter was a real mess. A lot of scratches out, tears stained, blood stained, food stained. I think I smelled some sauce. Things are the same here, just dreaming of you coming back and lightly touching me by the fire. But bored here, there's 12 children and I'm not teaching any of them to read.

I love you very much. Your dearest... Gloria. My dearest Gloria! What up, what up, what up? It's me, pickles! I write to you from the back of the war. It's chill back here.

Uh, pretty low-key, no gunshots. Most of the wars are already kinda... run down. Anyway, girl, damn! I got you on my mind! What can I say? I miss the fire Remember how I would fucking just like throw like lighter fluid in the fire And go fool fool fool. Oh man, it would be so fucking big man. Oh, Gloria. God. What was the name of those pies?

We used to eat. Oh, what one of those pies so bad Anyway, I've been robbing corpses Look later later baby pickles. My dearest Gloria, it has been 28 days since my last letter and I have not received a reply. I miss when you used to send me those terrible riddles, I wish you would send me some more. Speaking of terrible, have I told you about someone in my company named Pickles? He was supposed to be at the front of the war, but like a coward, he ran back and has set up camp way, way, way, way back in the war.

He has three guns, so nobody dares to say anything to him, because we don't know what he'll do, but if you want to write back, that would be great, but if not, I guess, I guess we're done. I guess, am I supposed to take the hints? So are we like... free to see other people? I just want to know what the rules are so I don't mess this up. Let me know, love, always, Charles. To my Charles and Pickles. Boys, I am writing you both at the same time to put this mess to an end.

Yes, I have been seeing both of you. Yes, I have been sending you both sex letters, which is sexting, but letters. Yes, half of the children are pickles, the ones who run amok are pickles, and the ones who sit quietly are trousers. But I have come to my decision, and I have picked one of you.

My dearest Gloria, you're probably writing your letter right now. Wait, my letter wasn't done. I didn't even get to finish the letter. Oh, you go. You go. I picked pickles. I went off, you know what, Charles? You're gonna interrupt my letter. I picked pickles. I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- I'm- My dearest Charles, glad we finally cut the dead weight. Need you been boned like it's nobody's business. I love this war.

I got three guns. I cannot read. My name is Pickles. I'm at the back of the war. I use the love Gloria. I never gonna pay for those kids. I'm crazy, you shit. I robbed corpses.

Pickles! Why don't you send me this? My dear? I can't read. What is even two with my letters? My dear, it's JPC and Aaron. I am Adderified. I'm JPC! And I'm Aaron Keef. And this is a little riddle, if you've never had

to whisper about the letters. It's aboutters from the war That's all we do time we're been around the old oak tree and listen to our show Okay, what a classic opening for us that's why that's gonna go all time What's that thing? What's the fucking name of where Disney hides all their little fun movies the trash? The vault thank you. I love that they're like, they're like, oh, let's put fucking Fantasia in the vault for five years. And then they're like, we're opening the vault.

And it's like, you've had that out the whole time. What are we doing? What a, that's like mental warfare. That's mental terrorism. What does it have there fun? They're not harming anyone. Uh, they're not harming anyone. Opening the vault is like, is like such a fun marketing tactic.

But like imagine if it's like, hey, Apple is opening the vault on the iPhone 6. So for the first time, for the first time in five years, you can get an iPhone 6. That'd be incredible. Honestly, okay, iPhones were easier and broke way less when they were older. Here's what I'll say.

I would buy a razor today. Oh, I would roll a razor. Cranberry razor? Yeah, cranberry razor. I'm gonna start doing that around the house. Like, Gemma will be like, hey, where are the chips? And I'll be like, the chips are in the vault. We're gonna use the way in another eight years.

The chips are in the vault. You gotta wait. Toro likes no way. You gotta wait. The chips are in the vault. You got to wait. Totally like snow white. You got to wait. The chips are in the vault. Five and a half of them. I think Jimbo will love that. I think Jimbo will love you hiding snacks.

You're a wife. Yeah, that's true. Wife. She's not my wife. Or I voice. parentheses, Bore, that voice. Thank you so much. I don't have a wife.

You guys don't have wives and I feel really dumb. I don't have a wife. Aaron, you want to make it a wife? Practice, practice, practice. 10,000 hours. Yeah. I'm not trying to be a brat here, but I deserve to have a wife more than you. I don't use jokers. I know. And think about all the other people living on this earth that deserve a wife more than us two jokers. I can't believe at the wedding when I put on my wedding ring and JPC ran up during the vows and we clinked our wedding rings together. What a while. I said wedding twid powers.

How do they? And then I punch you in the face. Isn't it wild? More so. I mean, not more so, but on equal level to me getting married and now being Mr. Grimm, isn't it wild that we were at episode 199? 199 bottles of. Riddles on the wild, 199 bottles of Riddles.

Remember when you were like on episode 14, that was so random. You take one sip, your board is hell, you turn on a different podcast. The wild part is if in Trappard listeners can go back and listen, I think around like episode seven or eight we said look if we're all still single I got

192 episodes from now we should just fucking make those like a facial and get hitch and Aaron I we all that was a good joke. We were doing. I mean, I don't know what the fuck you were doing, but you I mean you you fucked up Yeah, I'm married I'm pretty sure in an early. You're not single, you're unmarried. I'm pretty sure in an early episode, I said if we're both unmarried, and then you told me that you'd turn me into a crab if I'm still single. So I'm still waiting for you to turn me into a crab.

I got a crab clock on my wall, and it's ticking down, Aaron. I'm the honest, I know how much time you have, and you don't have a lot. That's fine. I'd rather be a crab than a wife. And you can go on that. She wants to have a wife, but she'd rather be a crab than be a wife.

Yeah, that's a... Millennial. Are you kidding? Be an a wife, the emotional labor, hard pass, everybody. Beep-boop-boip, I'm a crab. I would not be very good crab because I would sort of be feared because I love seafood so much that I would be eating other, I'd be like eating oysters and muscles and they'd be like, oh my god, that's so scary.

And every time you saw, every time you saw Jacuzzi, like, be like, should I jump in? Did I? I'm like, rip off on like, should I jump in? And like, I'm like a rip off on my way. Am I crazy? Yeah, I would definitely try to eat my legs. Yeah, I couldn't do it because I hate rubber bands. So I'd be my worst crab.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So we've, I've been recording all day and we've run out of things to talk about. You can have any important stories. We each other. Actually, you any important stories. We should. Actually, we know what this is. We know what this is. This is actually really cool because that gives us a unique opportunity to have riddles

for one type of our entire life. Save us. It kind of step in as like the content of the podcast. And that makes it. God. You're right. Let's do it. Let's get into riddles.

We thought we'd never be here yet. Here we are. We need to fill up the time with riddles. Okay, here we go. Are we ready for our first riddle? Yes, baby. It may barely woke up into the episode, but I guess we have to.

Yes, baby. Yes, baby. Have you seen that parrot on TikTok? No. There's a Gemma and I are obsessed with it. We keep saying it around the house. There's a TikTok parrot who keeps going, Are you a good baby?

You been a good boy, you been a good baby. And then when he kisses, he goes, He's really incredible. I have a confession to make and I'm not happy about this. I'm a little ashamed, but I will make it live on the air to the two of you. So whatever you two in our group chat send me a TikTok to view, I always click it

and it loads up a webpage that says, hey, download the TikTok app if you want to see this. I go, well, no, I'm not gonna do that. And so I don't think I've ever seen one of these TikToks that has been sent. So that is devastating, because you've been like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, sometimes that's easier, huh? Like I know it's funny. So sometimes I just go, ha you've been like, ha, ha, ha, ha. Sometimes that's easier, huh?

Like I know it's funny. So sometimes I just go, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I love it. I'm gonna play the audio. Okay, so the most recent TikTok in our group chat was Adel. Yes, I am. I think people would rather listen to Riddles.

I know, but listen, I just, this, okay, here's it. Adel said, Aaron Aaron this sounds like the Yelps you give when I get a song in the name that tune game and you get pissed. And this is truly this husky sound so much like me when I yell it's great. I Well Aaron that did I play audio of a husky or did I play audio for me from a patreon episode? That does a lot like you that's your whole thing. I know and I sound like a Husky. I was playing day rate. Come on. No, please. I was on the couch and I opened it and was listening to it because

somebody sent it to me and I started laughing and then Gemma was like, is that Aaron and I go, what? Is that is Aaron? I go, no, this is a... No, no, no. And then she goes, you have to send that to Aaron. Adela, are you kidding? Is that how that... I thought that was me. Yeah, so you have to. Oh my God, I need to change my entire life.

This is a few days ago. Maybe she didn't say is that Aaron, but she definitely was immediately like, that's Aaron. Or like, what does her hair look like? I was not wrong, no, my God. She didn't say is that Aaron. I think what she said exactly like, that's Aaron or like, what is her hair? I was not wrong, but all my guys. She didn't say is that Aaron. I think what she said exactly was, that's Aaron. That's Aaron.

I'm ready for some riddles. And after the break, I'll find that parrot and I'll play a quick snippet, because it's adorable. I can't wait. This first, I rarely do listener submitted emails. This isn't even an email. I guess I never do listener submitted emails, but I am gonna do a listener submitted emails. This isn't even an email. I guess I never do listener submitted emails. Perfect.

But I am gonna do a listener submitted Twitter DM and this is to our, what's our, what's our freaking? What is our handling? At HeyrudaRiddle. That makes total sense. So this is that? We must have got it there early, huh? This is from Brigh.

Says, my name is Brigh like Brigh. Says, my name is Brigh, like Brigh. My name is Brigh. B-R-I-G. My name is Brigh, like Brigh. I think like Brigh. Brigh, like short for Brigh. I see. Yes, yes, my name is Brigh.

My name is Brigh. Yeah. Wow, is that the riddle? My name is Brigh, like Brigh. Is that a bridge? Here we go. The riddle is, it kills scientists in seconds, Europeans in minutes, and Americans are unaffected. What is it?

Mosquitoes. Okay. Curiosity. I know that's cats. It kills scientists in seconds, Europeans in minutes, and Americans are unaffected. What is it? It kills scientists Europeans and Americans. Mm-hmm. Are the three categories? Mm-hmm Scientists and Americans the three body types. Oh, oh, oh, oh, I think I know this. I think I know this. Oh, this is good I like this and I'm I don't know it. I think I know this. I think I know this. Oh, this is good.

I like this. And I'm totally a lesbian. I don't know it. Would you say Jay Pricy? I think I'm more of my, if I had to pick my body type between scientists, European and American, I think I have to go scientist. I think I have an American body. Uh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. All right, so we have the three, the three, the three body types are represented on this show. A scientist, at European and an American. I don't know. And here's what I'll say. I don't know if I understand the answer, so I'm gonna go ahead and give it to you now unless you're gonna answer it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, what I think it is, a clue would be measurement, measurement

would be the clue. Okay. So kilometers. No, but you're on the right track. You're on the right track. Yeah. Like the unit measurement, we don't use it. It's like a, it's like a double. What is it? Edward for a long. I believe the answer would be Kelvin, Celsius and Fahrenheit and so you you would pick like what is it like a zero zero zero right zero degrees. Is that the is that the answer? Kind of I mean you got it. I don't know zero say answer but you're absolutely right the answer is degrees or temperature Kelvin versus Celsius versus Fahrenheit so yeah I think it's like what they're I think if you do zero degrees Fahrenheit that's not so bad

I mean it's it's cold but yeah maybe unaffected but I think zero degrees kelvin and zero degrees Celsius are like super cold Yeah, yeah speaking of screaming. I remember though Remember when the like a year before the pandemic in 2019. There was those days. It was so cold We all had to stay inside. Oh, yeah, three days. They leading up to those days. I picked up I told you this a little girl from school who I was nannying and we had to walk three minutes to the car And she wasn't a complainer or a whiner. She was just a sweet little girl. She never complained and her and I screamed. We're both screaming on the top of our lungs

walking from the door to our school to the car because it was that cold. There was yeah there was a I think on the news and I'd never seen this before. I haven't seen it since they came on and they're like if you don't have to go outside today do not and if you do go outside no they said something about your eyeballs can like yeah I remember that ruined where they're like if you go outside close your eyes or blink as much as possible because your eyes will freeze and I was like this is the scared forget clowns forget monsters this is the scariest thing I've ever heard I remember during the polar vortex we sent one of our roommates out to go walk to pick up a pizza and

He got back and he was where he was not wearing socks He was snowman with no socks. We were like you didn't put socks on and he was like it's two blocks And we're like I think it's like negative 1,000 degrees outside. You're gonna die. Aren't you listening to scientists, you weirdo? The polar vortex is where post potatoes came from. That's true. We were so crazy that we were cutting potatoes

and we ended up post potatoes. Anyways. Post potatoes. Next riddle, I'm ready. I'm so ready, I'm gonna get this one. JPC got the last one. Aaron's gonna get this one. JPC got the last one. Aaron's gonna get this one Okay, let's go

What is it that everybody does at the same time? Poups everybody poupes exists Poups and makes eye contact Excuse me Aaron you are pretty close with exists Liz oh more specific is it looks up at the same moon and wonders where you are? Thank you, Fyple. I'm American Tail. What is it that everybody does at the same time?

And Aaron, you might have just said something, and I miss what you say. Breathe. Breathe's not quite. Oh, that's a good answer. Good answer. Good answer. Breathe's on the board. Well, I guess it has something to do with breathing, but it's getting colder.

Heartbeat. About the same level warm or cold. I think Aaron fucking nailed it with exists, right? Like everybody exists at the same time. I guess technically you're right, but there is something a little more specific in terms of the passage of time. What does everybody do at the same time? We're all being older at the same time. What is it that everybody does at the same getting older?

Yes, what is it that everybody does at the same time? You stole my lyric book, older, you stole my book of lyrics. Well, you just copied the lyrics from the wedding singers, I was, I was, I was, no one was going to notice writing my exercise bike the other day. And one of the instructors said, you're as old as you're, you're as old as you've ever been and you're as young as your lover be.

And I said, no, that's nothing. I mean, that's nothing. It's just what that is, is it's exactly nothing. And it's one of those things, where if I hear someone say that in real life, I'm like, you could have just said nothing. You could have just sipped your water quietly. Nope.

Today, you're younger than you've ever old old and older than the youngest kid in your family. I do want to say that when your dreams comes true and dreams come true because it's coming today. That's gorgeous. I'm gonna put that on pillow. I want to say you're seeing JPC, you are a man who has been 40 years old forever. Okay. So you've just stopped growing old at 40, you're just permanently 40. Aaron, you are a curious coworker

who today is the day where you decide to sort of breach that topic. Yeah, hey, hump day, am I right? Wednesdays. Wednesdays. Wednesdays don't remind me another day, another property taxes. Julia had a birthday so there's donuts in the break room if you want to. Hey yeah donuts, no thank you. I'm about five years past the point where I

could have a donut on a Wednesday. Yeah so see your birthdays. Sure. I don't have yours in the office calendar and I just was wondering if you wanted to give me like the month year Day of your birthday. Oh Yeah, I don't mind doing I'm actually a leap year baby, so it's you know heart Yeah, I have to admit leap year baby. So my birthday. It's I mean it's pretty good. It's business Well, yeah, basically it only happens, you know once every four or five years So it's not even really worth commenting on. No, it's just that you and also unrelated.

What is your skin care routine? Oh, I've been working here for a decade and you've looked the same. What are you, my nieces and my nephews? They are always asking me about these things. These little tikes, those little sprouts, those bull-gurled, old, aged people. But is this a bit of a... Your niece, is that... Yeah, sure.

You're older, Sip. Oh, I don't know. I don't really love to talk about my family life at work, you know, separation of church and state and all. What year were you born? Gas prices. Gas prices, astounding. Just astounding. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Can I give you a hug? Oh, Lil Zachary, well, you better not because of your bones. How old are you? I'm 87 years young. And how old are you? This is Melvin. Melvin is, it's basically, are you familiar with a little brother program? This is an old nephew, or old nephew program.

So Melvin never had a nephew in life. And so I, it's kind of like an adopted nephew thing where I'm kind of trying to ask. Drank his nephew? He's my nephew. We miss him. But you just said he never had a nephew. We misunderstood the program.

Would we sign up for it? And we had a first-of-the-lifetime. I also misunderstood my name. I thought I was Zachary, but that's the brain. Well we sign up for it? And we had a first of the world. Yeah, I also misunderstood my name. I thought it was Zachary, but that's the brain. Wow, Zachary Melvin. I used this last day because I don't know him that well. And he used this his first day. He could've seen those head, but very well.

How old are you? Me? No, not you. I thought I was head. The brain. I know. You're doing great. This is not your war.

Oh, speaking of wars. Oh my god. the brain yeah i know you're doing great and this is not your your war oh speaking of wars oh my god i do please don't talk to me about words i am of course of veteran and i thought uh... let's see who did i fight i thought the spanish uh... i thought got in by the way people of the office think you're an opposite benjamin button they think that you were born forty and you always will be forty wait they think of an opposite ben Button, so a good movie. That doesn't make it, he says.

No, not a reverse Benjamin Button. See? JPC, I realized I just asked you to play Paul Rudd. Yeah, for sure. Oh my God. So handsome. Sure. I've seen Paul Rudd in real life before and it was like 2 a.m. at an SNL after party,

and he looked fucking gorgeous. I was like, what is going on? How does he do this? Man, he seems like he's the coolest. Yeah. Yeah. You played an uncle, but he's an ant man. Let's get to another riddle here.

Who are the two brothers? He's the good ones. Who are the two brothers who live on opposite sides of the road yet never see each other? Oh, okay, what are those, it's the famous feud that those two families... That feels in the McCoy's? I think of the Capulets in the Robios.

On the two like lions that are in front of a building, like the statues. Oh, like at the art institute? Yeah. Does guard coils? Guard coils, yes. I'm saying right, right? Guard coils?

That's how you say that. Yeah, no one calls it. Why is everyone looking at me? Guard coils. This is not your war. Aaron, this is not your war. Who are the two brothers who live on opposite sides of the road yet never see each other?

And I'll give you a little road. This is the girl who used to tie the West. Oh, it's eyes. Aaron, repeat that. It's eyes. That is correct. And you're not trying hard enough if you can't see one eye with the other eye.

Do it right now, everybody. Pull over. Or stop your work wherever you're listening to David over at all. I want you to spend at least 90 minutes trying to see your eyes with the other eye. Aaron, I think I've realized why you get headaches. Yeah, maybe.

I'm trying to see the back of my brain too. As we all know, your eyes are brothers and your ears are sisters. That's my new book that I writing. It's full of widthicisms that have no fucking meaning at all. And your nose is a single child. Which is why your nose has the best Christmas. We ready for, let's do another riddle. Yeah.

Yeah, I guess I'm, am I ready for it? Sure, yeah, why not? Okay, what does no person want? Yet no person wants to lose. They're like, I'm a death. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm talking about you. You can't know what's their life, but they don't like you. No,'re like a death. No, yeah, they're losing their knowledge. What's their life?

What they're like? Is there death? Honestly, Aaron, that's not bad. They're mind. Wait, what's the other one? Oh, that's a great one. What does no person want yet? No person wants to lose.

I feel like Aaron's got a lot of really great answers for the second part of that, but maybe the first part does not so much. And I will say this is, I feel like this is very, no, topical, like this is very, this is very much in the zeitgeist right now. I have a great answer for this. And Adel, you saying that this is the zeitgeist right now

is not any part of my answer, but I would say a parking ticket. Hmm. Someone gives you a parking ticket, you didn't want it, but man, you don't want to lose it, because then they'll fucking put a boot on your car and they'll like fucking, you start paying all those fines and shit.

That is a fantastic, yeah, that are like a dry cleaning ticket. Any sort of like receipt or yeah, yeah. So I don't know about you guys, but the way that I operate is I don't love to do delivery. Because first of all, I think that all of those delivery companies, like the GrubHub and whatever, they're just super exploitative to the people that work there, but also I'm like,

I can go get the food. I just can't, I'm sober, so I'm never fucked up. I can always just go driving at the food, and I enjoy driving, and I enjoy getting out of the house. So through the pandemic, if we've ordered out, I'll always go get the food. But in Chicago, a lot of the times, if you're just running into a restaurant, you're parked at a spot where there's street parking, meter parking, but I'm not going to pay for five

minutes of meter parking to go out. And it's usually pretty quick. The other day, I was pulling up at a place to pick up some lunch and I pulled up at the place, but then I saw that Mariah had texted me, so I grabbed my phone and started to text Mariah back. And as I was texting Mariah back, a parking like meter reader person pulled up right in front of me and started writing a ticket for the guy right in front of me who had probably done a very similar thing. But then he made eye contact with me in my car. So I like pretended to like look behind me and be like, I'm just merging.

But not that he could have done anything because I think if he had just written the ticket, I would have just backed up and driven away. I'd be like, I'm leaving. We're trying to catch you with the ticket. You're just dodging it in your car. But I was that thing was I was fully ready to hop out of a car and just run in there and get the food

and the fact that I stopped to pause to write my right raya back, whatever we were texting. I was right, Raya back, you know, whatever we were texting. I was like, that just saved me like, yeah, exactly. I had no idea how much that ticket was, but I was like, that's probably a $50 text message. That's fantastic. That's fantastic.

And then the guy who did get the ticket came out because I was still in my car. He came out, grabbed the ticket off his car, like, ugh, like through his hands up, and then crumpled up the ticket. And I was like, don't do that. Like, no. Somehow, somehow that ticket exists,

like you, you destroy it. I'm like, that's not gonna, I gotta say that's taking away. That's pure confidence in who your daddy is. Ha ha ha. If your daddy is someone, that's a movie poll. Yeah, that's true. Is it a job, Adel?

Aaron Bingo Bingo Hantheta, it is a job. That's very good. I got it. I do want to see a scene. Okay. So this is going to be two separate scenes. The first one is going to be myself and JPC. JPC, we're going to say that this is like the 1950s. Sure. Somewhere around there like Mad Men, Aura Ish. And you're going to come into my office. I'm going to call you into my office to fire you and you're going to try and, you know, try and keep your job as much as little as you want to. And then after that, Aaron, we're going to do a modern day scene. We're same thing I'm going to call you into my office to fire you in 2022.

Great. First tap. Hey, great. Can I talk to you for a second? Yeah, Steve, you wanted to see me. You want to make us up a couple of whiskeys, will we talk? Yeah, make mine a double, do you want a palm all? Oh, absolutely, that's a palm all, that's a type of camel.

Absolutely, he goes. Absolutely, a double in a triple for me, and it's 9 a.m. Cheers. What's on your docket today Steve? Oh yeah, yeah, listen, now you've been with us for a while and you know you do you do great work You're a man. You're a nice guy. You're a company man We've given you a car. We've given you a watch, but I have to say this is smooth scotch. Oh, yes Yes, yes, yes, yes, it's floating from Edinburgh. Wow Edinburgh. I love their French festival. Yeah, oh yes, so many, so many one person shows about

the other. Oh yes, yeah. Now speaking of juggling, we're trying to juggle a lot of opportunities here and I gotta say the times they are at changing his Bob Dylan will write and we're gonna have to let you go. Oh okay, so I'm going into the field. You really want me out there slamming the the pavement making my boots hurt across the land. I think that can work Promotion I've needed a newer car though. That's gonna be a company car for old Greg

Listen Greg for the last 20 years we've paid you $2,500 a year and you have five houses You have three cars. I mean you have it all. Well, five houses, but I've got six families, so I'm still trying to... You have one family living in an apartment, a bit of a scaudrel, classic man of the age. But listen, we are going to have to let you go. Dolores will see you out and your belongings have already been packed up. I was to distract you while we talk and your belongings are out front. Wait a second. You're firing me. I'm afraid so.

Oh my god. Where? What do I do? Where will I go to drink during the day? Your vacation house? I guess that could work. There's a lot of booze there. And if I run out of booze there, I can move to one of my other houses. Of course, I'd have to see my wives and friends. We're in the kids' games. I'm not going to do that. No, I'll just call them a little gentleman and little ladies. Well, it's been a hell of a run. I'm really going to miss you.

I'm really going to miss this place. I'm going to miss you, too, buddy. Take care. I'll see you on the links. Oh, yeah. LinkedIn. I'll be on LinkedIn uploading my resume later today. LinkedIn. I gotta write that down. We cut to modern day. Hey Tiffany, can I talk to you?

You can just stay at your desk. You can just stand at your desk. Yeah, what's up? Um, we have to, we're downsizing. Okay. And you're, and I'm getting fired? Well, we don't say that word. We say downsizing. Okay. And you're, and I'm getting fired. Well, we don't say that word. We say downsizing. Okay.

Love it. You've been made, we've done this. I love it. Love it. Do it. Hi, five. Sir, tough, my guy. I'm gonna head out.

I'm gonna go drink some of the mosa's and keep my standard tie. Cool. Bye. Oh, real quick. Get to my razor scooter and leave. What's up? No, actually, ah, no, you can't.

You're not paying me for my time anymore. Bye! We need you to train someone before me. No, no, I, for no money. You can fuck right off with that. Goodbye. Hey boss, I heard you're firing Tiffany's I'm up to F.O.D. Oh my god, I would love to get fired. Are you firing people? Are you firing people? Oh, please please

No, get back to work. Get back to work. I don't know what we do We leverage our information circle back High five serves up love it do it Well speaking of high five serves up. Why don't you crack open a nice Do it. Uh, we'll speaking of high five serves up. Why don't you crack open a nice Fucking can of something and hit the beach and we'll be right back. Oh Scotch on the beat. Yeah, some beer. For your time. Next time I go on drinking. I'm gonna order a Scotch on the beach

Be a bartender. I twitch. I would love to see you get served a scotch full of sand. Scotch on the beach. We'll be right back. Hey, JPC, you know how I love he looks sleep. I love the he looks mattress brand. Yeah. Best nights sleep in my life. I know not everyone is on board yet, so I secured award-winning sleeper, Merrill Sleep. She's right behind that door, Merrill Sleep. Wow, she won the Golden Pillow for best sleep. That's right. Hey, Merrill. Hello, yes, hello, yes, I'm very well rested after sleeping on my midnight lux, Helix Madras. Good to see you.

Good to see you. Your naps are stunning. I just wanted you to tell people about Helix sleep how the Helix lineup offers 20 unique mattresses, including the award-winning lux collection. The newly released Helix Elite Collection, a mattress designed for big and tall sleepers, even a mattress made just for kids Yeah, and he looks knows there's no better way to test out a new mattress than by sleeping on it in your own home That's why they offer a 100 night trial in a 10 to 15 year warranty to try out the new Helix mattress

Who do who who did I think you were? No, I'm Meryl sleep and I know everybody is unique and everybody sleeps differently. I just recommend taking the Helix Sleep quiz and you can figure out what mattress is right for you. I don't know if you're a side sleeper or you sleep hot or cold or if you sleep like me. Meryl Sleep. Yeah choosing the right mattress is a real Sophie's decision, but don't just take our word for it, or Meryl Sleep's word for it. He looks has been awarded the number one mattress picked by GQ and Wired Magazine.

It was even recommended by multiple leading chiropractors and doctors of sleep medicine. Shh. I don't think I thought you were the person that you were talking about. Who are, what a performance. He looks mattresses all come with a 10 to 15 year warranty, depending on the model.

Oh, stunning. Yeah, look, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to helixsleep.com slash riddle. This is their best offer yet, and it will not last long, with Helix better sleep starts now. Go ahead and give her the Academy a snorr, the snorr?

I love you. Academy a snorr? You know what? Give me an Academy as gnaw. Glint close to falling asleep. That's why you're here. Oh yeah. I got that a lot.

Hey Adel, hey, Aaron, I got a bone to pick with the two of you. Oh. Sure, yeah, wore the skeleton outfit just because I figured this was coming. Happy Halloween a few months early. It's not yet the... What is it? So you know how the two of you, I was like,

guys, I am always so hungry for lunches and dinners and the like and you, jokers, told me, oh, JPC, it's okay. All you have to do is take some, you know, American paper currency, tape it to your front door, close the door, and then wait until someone brings you food. Well, I kept opening the door, and the money was gone. So I had to tape more money to my door. I think you're thinking, didn't work at all. Oh, Dorkash.

Dorkash. Yeah, you did dorkash. We told you, Dorkash is the number one thing to you. What the hunk? With Dore Dash, you'll enjoy next level convenience with delivery in the hour, making it easier than ever to get whatever you want delivered to your house, whether that be back to school supplies or whatever it is that you eat. JPC, which I don't know what you eat.

I eat back to school supplies. But what? JBC, all your favorite retail, grocery, and convenience stores are on the app, so you can chop everything, your kids, your dogs, your family, might need for back to school. And hey, personally, just yesterday, I bought some Marsha's homemade premium quality buck eyes, you know, those candies that are chocolate stuff

with peanut butter. I just got those from DoorDash, they were, they were on my porch within 20 minutes and it's very, very dangerous because they're delicious. Did you fill your belly and your pantry? Uh, yes. Did you fill your backpack? I did. Okay.

Well, then DoorDash has come again for the gold. I remember distinctively the stress of going back to school and going from store to store to get all my favorite snacks and pencils and pencil cases and all the things that I needed me and my siblings and I remember how stressed my mom was and I know that she would have loved to have door dash so she could be prepared before the big back to school day arrived. So you can stock up with go-to breakfast lunch lunch box staples, and brands that you love. Don't eat my school supplies, JPC. JPC, put that eraser down.

Put that trapper keeper down. Your mouth is too small. Never been told that before. Shop door dash to get everything you need for the back to school season delivered right to your door. Order now for stress-free back to school shopping. Use promo code Riddle to get 50% off up to $10 value. When you spend $15 or more at convenience, grocery, or retail stores on DoorDash, that's 50% off up to a $10 value. When you spend $15 or more, promo code Riddle,

don't forget JPC because you keep eating those school supplies. That's code Riddle for 50% off your next order, Terms Apply. At all, JPC keeps eating my gel pens. Thanks, DoorCash. I mean, no, that's the one. That one didn't work. That one's bad. Hey, JPC. Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Atal.

And I'm sending up a whole website to prank him. Okay. I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not I'm not mad at you. We're pranking. Spaces to all in one website platform for entrepreneurs to stay in doubt and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website. It gets with with your audience and so let me think for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms.

Hey, Otto, come here. Come here. Come here. Hey, what's what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store? Like it set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay.

Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna shoot you. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool.

I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website. The prank site too. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. Yeah, the website was for.

Prank. With Squarespace. Yes, it is. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Madel? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her.

Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron. Can we go's back, she's back. Hey, Erin. Hey, Erin. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know.

And we're back and guys listen to this. Isn't that the cutest little thing you've ever heard? That sounds like JPC. It sounds like an Alvin in the Chipmunks album. It's like, are you ready for your... You being a good boy, you being a good P.D. I love it so like, are you ready? You're being a good boy, you're being a good piece. I love it so much. We're obsessed. What did you ever own a bird? I have a keep a bird in your house.

We used to, when I was a kid, we used to have, so we lived in Las Vegas and my dad worked for the hotel, the Flamingo Hilton. And one day he was leaving work going to the parking lot and there was a bird bird caught like a bush So he grabbed like a tablecloth or something wrapped up the bird and took it home Did you did you did ever consider selling it because I heard a bird a bush is worth two of the bit haired Oh, he got so enticed

Wait, do it I messed up the analogy I messed up the phrase I think so it's fine Oh, sorry listener to the show Emily her and her family I messed up the analogy. I messed up the phrase, I think so, it's fun. Um. Uh, oh. Oh. Sorry, listen to the show Emily, her and her family have birds. And I made her tell me everything about it. Do you know that birds live for decades and decades? Oh yeah, birds.

Birds have like multiple owners over a lifetime because they live for fucking ever. And they talk. Let's put that to the test. It'll how long did that bird that your dad brought home live. We did up, we had it for a long time then we gave it away. Oh, interesting. Yeah, that's what, right. But it was a red-headed Amazon parrot and they're like endangered.

So we think it was part of like a traveling zoo or a magic act or something. Who knows in Vegas. But it was incredibly smart and it would like, what's the term, wolf whistle, wolf whistle? What's that called? I don't even know. Yeah.

What's that? Cat call? Cat call? What's the word wolf whistle? Oh, okay, cat call. I don't even know the term. So what I said is nothing. It's a cat call and it would like say words

and it would repeat us and it would say like curse words and stuff. And it would live for like 30 would say like curse words and stuff. And it would... And it would live for like 30 years. Yeah, it's not. Chilling, but it was a great pet. But I think eventually we were just like, it's so noisy, it's cage takes up so much space.

So when we move to Ohio, we got rid of it. It was named with Saeed. I think, oh, that was the name that it came with? No, that's the name my dad gave it because she was in Middle Eastern. Yeah. So, my dad was a huge lost fan. But my, yeah, my thing is like, with birds is,

I have nothing against birds. I think birds are fine, but it doesn't seem like, and I know that a lot of people do it, I think that it actually is okay, but it just doesn't seem like you should I know that a lot of people do, and I think that it actually is okay, but it just doesn't seem like you should be keeping a bird in a house. It just, like a dog, a cat. Yeah, that could be in a house, even though, of course,

they're not made for a house, but a bird with the wings truly feels like it's made for the sky. Yes, that's like if you had a creature, like if you had a dog, but instead of like, it had skis, and you kept it in a house and not in snow. That would be awful. Is that a one to one?

I have to leave the podcast, I have to pitch something to you about the executive. Whoever gets their first, because I need to pitch something. Oh wait, I just got a notification from Netflix. They have a new show coming out tomorrow called ski dog. Okay, I just sent an email to helpadisney.com.

And I think that little doggy skis is going to be big. Channing Tatum is little doggy skis. I think so. I know. I know. You both are on a ski lift and you realize that the ski left in front of you is two pair keeps wearing skis and you're just trying to process this.

What is happening? Oh, sorry. Are you seeing what I'm seeing? Yeah, I mean, I assume so. This looks like two. I want to say, I don't know the birds, but I want to say parakeets. Oh, no, I'm sorry. They're keats. Keats, I'm sorry, keats.

And they're wearing tiny little skis. Yeah, there's a pair of keats. And they're wearing tiny little paras. I mean, surely it's just that we can't see their stuff, right? We this is a joke that someone's playing on us. We just can't see the front of their head. I saw their heads move. I do. I didn't want to admit it, but I did see their heads move. Do you think I'm oh, yes, I'm Jeff. Oh, that's so weird. I'm also Jeff. Oh, hey, Jeff. What's your last name?. I'm also Jeff. Oh, hey Jeff. What's your last name? What? How do you do you think we should get the season passed?

I don't know. How often do you think you're liable to sneak away from work? Sorry, I can come up here to ski. I don't know. Okay. I don't know if it's worth the money. Okay, okay. Hold on. Hold on. Hey, we're YouTube behind us.

Shut the fuck up. We're trying to have a conversation and we're looking at these goddamn parakeets up here. We didn't even listen to your old fucking life. You old piece of shit. Oh, yeah, you got me You got me thank god you called scene because I'm like my joke doesn't make sense now Here we go. Let's do another riddle episode 199 What goes up white and comes down yellow? Oh What goes up white and comes down yellow? Oh, um, what goes up white and comes down yellow? Hmm, what goes up?

White, arms, yellow. If you, okay, so this is when you like white wash offence and then it's ravaged by the effects of time. Uh-huh. It's ravaged by malaria. It goes up white and comes down yellow. Yeah, it goes up white and it comes down yellow. Oh, I think I have an answer for this that I actually really fucking like. What is it?

The sun. I thought I was going to say. That is a great guess. It is not the sun, but that is a great guess. It goes up white and it comes down yellow. Hmm. I'll give you. Oh, go ahead. Is this, um, is this, uh, like if you poured drain, oh, and it clogged sink and like the white bubbles come up and that it kind of like flushes down with like a nasty yellow color. What is in your sink? What? I mean, I don't want to say, I can't give too much information about what goes in the sink,

but a human here, people, one of my favorite things is, one of my favorite things is when somebody talks to you about what they think is a universal experience, and it's absolutely not. And you're like, oh, you admit something. Oh, wow. Um, I wonder what that is.

We are not cleaning our sinks correctly, Adel. Someone's admitting to something. So, you know what you're not supposed to use, Drainow, if like, you're, cause it fucks up your pipes, but everybody, you know how everybody does it? Because if you're a renter, you don't give a shit if it fucks up your pipes, because they're not your pipes. And they don't show up to sex it, yeah.

I was living in a place one time where you generally find with Drainow, I think if you flush it out, like in the 20 minutes that it says, like flush it out with hot water completely in those 20 minutes, I accidentally fucking just spaced the whole flushing it out thing, and it definitely ate a hole in like the pipe of my kitchen, of my kitchen of my bathroom sink, and I called the landlord, and I was like,

I don't know what happened, like blah blah blah. And what did landlord say? The landlord came to my apartment, he was like, the fucking guy who lived here, like blah blah blah. And what did he do? He didn't say. My landlord came to my apartment. He was like, the fucking guy who lived here before you was always trying to fix shit himself. And I think he fucked up this thing. He tried to fix his pipe himself, and he fucked it up. And I was like, yeah, I bet it was that.

That's cool. I bet it was that motherfucker who fucked this thing up completely. And he fixed it. He just fixed it. And I can move it down. I was like, woof. That kind of got really bad. You should have said. I like that you I was like, woof. Ah, that kinda got really bad. You should've said.

I like that you had faith in you. Yeah. I think that I was a, I was always, we were always very accommodating of our landlord. So I don't think, I don't think even if we had fucked it up and like I had just straight up admitted it into it, I think you would've been like, okay, I'll fix it anyway because like,

we used to like watch their dog in shit when they went out of town. So it was, it was, yeah, it was was it was a very like a courteous relationship. But I don't think I don't think he would have wanted to explode it over like, I don't know, like a $50 fucking pipe. I'm going to do this might be a first. I'm going to do something where I want to, where it's going to be called.

The do you want to do this scene? So the premise for the scene is. Wow. Well, the first time in 200 episodes, we get to say no. Wow. Aaron, you're a tenant in an apartment, and you're having drain problems. And so you call over JPC, and JPC is a liquid plumber. Okay, yeah, that's true.

He's made of liquid. So JPC wants to do it, Aaron? Yep, I'm in. Oh, wow. Interesting, I thought for sure you both say no, that I was planning on you both saying no No, wow, I don't see this My favorite Christmas All right, let's see this scene about a liquid polymer

The door's open you can come in What do you mean you didn't bring all your tools? I'm just, my landlord just keeps springing for the cheapest people and you can't do it today. It took like three weeks for you to even come. Oh, it's not your fault. You're doing your best, your liquid. It falls through your hands. I'll come on, mate. Can you really try?

Just go and look, just look at the problem and see what you can do. God, why do I have to twist your arm? It's the best. Gohler? Bayam, I'm glad you saw the second opinion. Gorsh. Your fault.

It's the hell out of here, you pervert. Seeing it, seeing it. Sorry, it's too tempting. I was like, I have to do a daffoduck, or not that Donald Duck bit. Donald Duck. I thought you were going with goofy. Well I was playing goofy. You came in after Donald Duck, yes, the liquid blubber.

Aaron and JBC, what goes up, white and comes down yellow. Crocane. That hint. You can have a hint Much like it so the JBC guessed the Sun and much like the Sun Elton John has a great song about this The answer and it's also when it hits sorry when it comes down. It's hitting something So it remains white it goes up white and it comes down for most of the way down It is white and then it hits something and then it's yellow

It's not cocaine and it's down, for most of the way down, it is white, and then it hits something, and then it's yellow. It's not cocaine, and it's just like the... No? It's snow. It's not snow. It comes up white, and goes down yellow. It goes up white, and comes down yellow. So if I were to throw, if I were to throw this item in the air, and it is able to be thrown very easily,

if I were to throw this item in the air, it would be white all the way up, white most of the way down, and then yellow at the end. Okay, so it's something that is white on the outside and his yellow in the inside, like an egg. It's an egg. And of course the song is don't let my egg go down on you. Oh, yeah. I was gonna say cake like a white cake that has below it in the inside, but people are throwing eggs. Biny and an dance. Yeah, of course, a classical. Do you want your background music? I mean, I think it would be I think it's going to be better if I have

the background music. You know, the exact one thing I'm going to sing over and over. Yeah. Blue-ging baby L.A. lady Seems stress for the band Pretty, I'd pirate smile You'll marry a music man You're a ballerina You must've seen her Dancing in the sand.

In the sand. And now she's in me, all weaves with me. Tiny dancer in my hand. Jesus freaks. That's the end. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And it'll sound like kicker. That's, yeah, that is, that's,

that's honestly, it kinda goes with everything. It's like real kick. I could, I could see putting on kick, and you'd be like, Adel, you have to listen to this song. This will change your opinion, and it's, and him singing Jesus Freaks, or toxying the word Jesus Freaks. I think that kick who hasn't really been putting out

new music should just do a cover album, where they just cover like Elton John's songs and like Bob Dylan's songs. Like why not? Give me a month to hear it in that style. I gotta be honest, I would probably listen to that. Me too. If they did like creep by radio hit, what a low bar.

It's like a band put out the album. It's like I would listen to it. It's like great. They sitting on the dock of the bay watching the tide roll in. Roll in. And time. I want to fuck you like an animal. I want to feel you from the inside.

It kind of works. Inside. It's actually. From the inside. Vibers lap. I like big butts. I cannot lie. Okay, here we go. Let's get to some more riddles. This is famously a very heavy, riddle heavy episode. Okay, here's our next riddle. What's smaller than an ants mouth? Ants butt. And this is ants spelled A and T. It's butt. I say it

on't. So I wasn't going to be confused. What's smaller than an on't small? It's but I say it on so I wasn't going to be confused. What's smaller than an on small? It's but I was gonna say JPC's gonna say an answer but. Well, you said it seconds ago. JPC can you explain your answer? It's teeth, it's teeth, it's teeth, it's teeth. It's against tongue. Legally, these are both correct, but it's not the funny fucking little answer

that they put here. Okay. And it's not. What's smaller answer that they put here Okay, and smile That's more than the dance mouth. I mean basically you got it. What is a tongue and teeth do? What does it help with? Talking well Come on air stop watching Dreamworks ants and Think about real what Is the what you know it's is the what It's the word, y'all know.

It's is the word, y'all know. Yeah. We should all stop watching that one. Eats. Yes. It's what the ant eats. What's more than an ants mouth? What the ants eats?

I want to see a scene. That makes sense. Oh, no, come on. Let me see a scene. Okay, you're in. I can't believe that. That worked. I can't believe that worked.

Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit! Holy shit, that's never worked before, that's wild! You two are ants at a Michelin star restaurant, and you feel like people are not treating you with the respect you may be deserved. Gotcha. Another course? Phillip, I don't know if I can keep eating. Can I be honest? Yeah, yeah.

This is like $500 a plate. That's how much you paid for this? I know, it's a nice place. And I feel like this is maybe the third or fourth course in a row that has just been a piece of shit. Like I know where ants, but isn't this a nice restaurant? Like shouldn't we be having like, I don't like, plus it up.

Yeah, well I feel like we should be having like huge greens of sugar, right? Yeah, excuse me. Hi, I'm back with your next course that is again specific from the chef to this table. Here is one big old Dorito. Enjoy. I mean, this is a little more like it, but still for $500, one big old Dorito, and to us, a regular Dorito is a big old Dorito.

And it also, this is a 3D Dorito, which is like the worst kind of Dorito. Yeah, it's a puzzle. Excuse me, Garce Haunt. Yes. Uh, two credits. Uh, two crores. Two crores. She's laughing at us.

Are you hearing this? I am. It's just unreal. She rudely screamed yes. And she started to laugh at us. I hurt myself. Yes. How can I help you, sorry?

Stop laughing at us. Stop laughing at us. We have two questions for you. One, my husband and I want to know, where are you from? Well, the France part, of course. Okay, that's an answer. And then two, is this, I mean, you keep saying this dish or entree specifically for this table? Is this what everyone else is getting? No, look around you. They're having scallops and pesto, honey in this table.

It's having... Yeah, honey, honey, we may not date with mushroom but go over it. You are so small, you're near ants. So the chef thought we should feed you food that's more of your stuff. Part of me, go some, go some. Yes. My wife, my wife. Yes. Sorry, my wife and I would like to send back our scallops with pesto honey and steak with mushroom goop.

In animal. It's, it's in animals absolutely disgusting Well the chef made the menu specific for you because you two are such trash He thought we saw those answer in Doritos over there. We would love some Doritos All right, I want to draw the Doritos coming up now. We're talking. Oh here we go, baby I ain't go, baby. Hi, it's so hard to hear my son. Yeah. Aaron leaned into it.

She leaned into the yes, so I could see a part of her breaking. It hurt. I was like, of course. That is one of the more fun accents and words to say in that accent. There's nothing better than, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which I feel like, I feel like my only reference point from that is not even old movies

It's like maybe anomaniacs. I'm trying to think of where I've or or looney tins. Oh, yeah, looney tins make sense I couldn't put my finger on it either, but I have an image of it in my mind But now that you said in a video X it's animated for sure. Yeah Yeah, I feel like anomaniacs was one more. I'm like as I got like, oh, these are real people that they're parodying, like all these actors and stuff. Yeah. No eight-year-old knows who Clark Gable is. Let's do another riddle here. Aaron, is that sound good?

Can I get a verbal yes? Yes. Thank you. I can make my vocal cords bleed because we're not recording them now. Okay. It stands on one leg and its heart is in its head. What is it? It stands on one leg and its heart is in its head.

So Aaron to you, flamingos have their hearts inside their heads Mm-hmm, and how does that work? I don't know. I'm not a zoologist and so their brain is in there But Fuck this guy coming in here with the full big going out of it. Who gives it shit? Who gives it? That's what I'm saying, JP. Yeah, exactly. I want to say the same. Uh, God. The two of you are a couple at the zoo.

Okay. You're looking at the flamingos and you're both unfucking, believably, unimpressed. Boo. Sucks. Boo. Something. impressed Boo sucks Do something I eat shrimp to assholes You don't see people paying to come see me assholes Don't bother do something do something

What if I turn the color of the food I eat losers? Yeah, everybody could do that if we have fucking trans looseness feather ass fucking do something Gangly lag mother fuckers. I'm gonna hit him with a gatorade bottle I'm a hit him with a gatorade Yeah, do it. They're skipping leg day clearly skinny legs suck. You suck flamingos Gatorade by gatorade Five minutes dammit I miss fruit punch. I got one. I got one ready. You are you you're no you I'm I can't I can't I got it ready Yeah, you yeah, I'm bowling I'm not to couple over

Oh, I'm a fuck you dumb ass. They't help but notice you're disrespecting these animals Are you sure you're still from back gorilla you a stupid ass gorilla you dumbass? I'm gonna throw a gatorate guy at him Say that again, but look me in the eyes I guess I would if I could see your eyes down here by your asshole Substance Thumbs to that might impress these assholes at the zoo the other animals not me dumb dumb Get a right bottle of that dummy stop break neck

You just broke your neck stupid You just broke your neck stupid That's the ultimate power move I'm gonna go get a read bottle that is so funny If you're ever if a group of people ever come up to you and surround you to like fight you Like scream like you're crazy and break your own neck I that was so fucking funny to me. I can eat your food too. I feel like most people wouldn't know what, like if you can convincingly fake a breaking

of your own neck, I feel like most people wouldn't know that that's fake. They'd be like, oh shit, this guy just broke his own neck. He's dead. Like we got to get some fucking out of here. Yeah, I'm going to get charged for his murder. Yeah, I'd hold up my camera, put the lens on me and be like, hey, this is a rat fight, these people just killed me.

And then I'd scan my phone across their faces and then the end video, text it and then break my own neck. Yeah, that's a lot of lead up time to you getting this fight. And no one's gonna be like, come on, no court is gonna be like, you're saying he broke his own neck? That's never happened in human history. It's on purpose, I will say.

It stands on one leg and it's heart is in its head. What is it? It stands on one leg and it's heart is in its head. What kind of stands on one leg? This isn't like a living thing, right? This is like an object. As yellow once sang and is a living thing. Whoa, I'll do it.

It's a living thing. Better, better, better, better. But it's not one leg. I will say heart is a bit of a strong word. So would this be like a plant? Because plants don't have like anatomy, like a tree or something like that. Heart is in its head.

It stands on one leg and it's hard as in its head. I will say, like a flower. Close, Aaron, I will say, the answer to this is in the first couple episodes of Old Enough, the wonderful Netflix series that you have us watch. There's a very funny scene. Tip or a shrimp.

I mean, that's an every episode. But there's a very funny scene involving this thing. It may be episode three or four. Who's on noodles? So much food. It stands on one leg. Oh, I can't lie in. And it's heart is in its head.

What is it? It's non-Danieline. It is an edible food. I mean, Danielines are edible, but I mean, you would, you would search this out to eat. Very close. Very close. Cabbage, cabbage.

It's cabbage. Oh, yeah. When that girl tries to twist off the cabbage for 20 minutes, and then she tries to, she tries to one hour, she's doing that. Was it one hour? It was one hour. And then she tries to cook the cameraman into helping her. Did you, did you watch the one where the kid drops the fish and has to put the fish back

in the cooler yet? No, I see. That is the craziest one one you have to watch. It's insane. Old enough, but it's from like 2009, but I guess it just made it over here to Netflix, but Old enough is fantastic. It's just a fantastic show. Highly highly recommend. Well speaking of wonderful shows that you've recommended. Aaron, do you have anything new to recommend to our listeners now? I would recommend checking out the Skylis Kickstarter. Wonderful shows that you've recommended. Aaron, do you have anything new to recommend to our listeners now? I would recommend checking out the Skylis Kickstarter. I think there's a little bit more time for you

to hop on and get your copy of the second issue of Skylis. It's Sean's Coil, but Sean Coils. You said his name wrong? I did, I said his name wrong. Sue me. You got a little bit of it. You're talking about Sean's Coil. Sean, yeah, Sean's coils. That's

battles are fun. Comic and it's so so good. And I'm really excited for the second one to come out. And if you want to check that out, you can follow him or Skylas on Instagram or check out the Kickstarter. I'm excited for it. I'm obsessed with this idea now of being like, oh yeah, that's John's Patrick Cohen. John's. The person that I am is John's Patrick. Adults are five. I'm sorry, who's Patrick Cohen is this? And then also check out sitcom D&D. JPC's episode is out by now.

Adults episode is out by now. So check it out. And those are great episodes to start with because you can really happen anytime you want. JPC anything to plug? I mean, we're in it now. This is, I think, third, fourth week of our new promotion. So make sure that you submit these five star reviews because today we are reading one from need,

one, two, three, four, four, five, five, six, six. Love that screen name. Need rights, five stars, highlight of my week. Like, I'm not joking, Aaron Adel and JPC are my best friends, even if they don't know it. I can't tell you how many times I've had my family look at me weird because I was crying, laughing at this podcast need. Thank you so much for your five star review. You want to get your five star review read on the air.

All you have to do is fucking go in there and write it. Go on to Apple iTunes, make it account, write a five star review, whatever you put in that five star review. I will say live on the air. I cannot stress how good of a deal this is for you. I would go on and say something weird and you're gonna read it. I got a question for you guys. Have you ever reviewed a podcast? First of all, I have left many a review on podcast that I enjoy because I think that it helps the show. So I and it takes no time to do so I do it all the time. But have you ever left a review on your own podcast? No, never done it. No, I will though now to try to get on the show.

On the campaign podcast, I think, because my Apple screen name was something, I don't even know when I picked it, but it was something weird that I had never seen. But I did leave a review on the campaign podcast that show had just come out, was like, fresh to come out. And I think my review was, I love the show, but I'm on it. That's great. I'm gonna write one and then you can see it. I can't wait till Aaron reviews our show,

it gives us four stars. No, I'll give you five. Five, thank you, five. I'm out of anything to plug. Thank you so much for asking, Aaron. I want to plug. Please check out our Patreon. It's where so much wonderful content that we create.

We're so proud of the work we do over there. Check it out patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle. Also, please check out hello from the magic tavern and their Patreon, our Patreon, their Patreon. Check out their Patreon at hello from the magic tavern patreon.com slash that name. And then I also want to plug out recently on a podcast called Tribal Council. It is a survivor recap podcast, and I had a really good time talking about this season of Survivor, so check that out. And I would also wanna recommend getting married.

Look how blissfully happy I am. And can I do 199 episodes in? Can I do the first, don't recommend? Oh, yeah, please. I don't recommend recording nine episodes of a podcast in one day. Yeah, we, we messed up and we recorded literally all day. It's unlistenable. This block of time might be a good block of time to skip and just come back in a month and we'll be better, okay? Hey, and if this, if this wasn't your cup of tea,

I remind you that on the Patreon, we kind of consider the main feed, kind of like our milk milk lemonade, and the Patreon is around the corner where the fudge is made. That's, that's the guarantee. And that's the guarantee. When there was one set of footprints in the sand,

that was the fudge I made. These are all going to be fun. I'm gonna get us out of this longest day of my life of recording and by saying Jupiter, give us! We'll see you at 200 by forever! Yay! In the middle of the day, I'm gonna be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the one who will be the We go back to another one of our classic Ch-ch-ch-ch-chatter box episodes. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle by joining the clue crew

for $5 a month or the review crew and you can add free episodes for $8 a month. See you there! you