Hey Riddle Riddle - #201: 1-877-Cars-Eat-Kids

Episode Date: May 25, 2022

Look, I know we usually have a "funny" little episode description but today we are trying something different. We've got a couple live shows coming up in LA and Chicago and you should get tickets to them. And if you can't make it to one of those cities, both shows are being live-streamed. So what are you waiting for? Buy tickets here! And if you happen to be reading this description months or years after the ep came out, go ahead and click the link anyway. We might be doing more live shows? Wouldn't that be wild? Anything can happen!  Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. We're all very happy for you and excited to see what you do. Thank you. Yeah, we can't wait to see how this goes, right, Adel? Right. Let's just say we have some surprises along the way. Yeah, let's see how this goes. Oh, you two have played some surprises for this episode? Oh, don't do that.

Okay, because I'm only going to go to the two if you asked who had the riddles for this episode. I said, I have it, and now you're acting like this. No, no, no, you take the riddles and wheel tits. They'll take the surprise. Oh, okay. So just big picture. So I know is it like new segments that you've planned or let's just say their stuff. Yes. And why while we're talking, young man, why don't you come into our house made of candy? Okay, so just when I'm playing, you say that there's stuff, there, this is the stuff, right? The thing that you have planned is that this is, I'm experiencing it currently. Yes, that's it.

How it goes? Well, I can tell you from the way that it's going right now, it's going pretty well, I think I like it. Did you hear that grittle? Where it hit? Oh, yes, we are I like it. Oh, did you hear that Gretel? Where are it? Oh? Yes, we are aren't we? Cool, so this has got to more figure this some characters then, huh? Well, we thought we tried some out. No, it's not but with not now Anyways, we're gonna try to cook and eat you in this area. So you're your

Hunsel and Gretel your host little Gretel and George might be cooking We learn young witches and we eat them. Yes Because that's what happened to us Oh, so it's like a it's like a hurt people hurt people's it's a Kid's catch witches All right, cut kids eat kids well 1800 cars for you kids It's 1777 cars eat kids. Oh no my Alexa thought I was talking to her. No, it's 177 Carsey Kids, Alexa.

Is your Alexa calling that number? I don't know how to tell you this Mr. Sullivan, but your Nissan 8-year daughter. Ah, okay, well, this is Heyron of Riddler. It's a podcast about Riddler's with Improv. And it is well, there's Adela over there. I'm GPC right here and Air is- I'm over here!

A little bit over there. It's on the ceiling. And it's so good to have you all here with us today. And by that I mean the listeners. And by today I mean whatever your listening to it. Hell, hope it's on a Monday. Wednesday, wait, what does this come out? What do you want?

Tips my coffee, stairs at my co-host. What's going on? You guys are okay. It feels like this is off to a best. Tips my coffee, stairs at my coffee. Really, really coming back from, What's going on? You guys are okay. It feels like this is off to a best. Steers and my coffee. Really coming back from the eye opener that was our 200th episode when everyone told us that we were chaotic, really taking that, doing the work on it and coming back with

just a stellar opening. I have to say, I miss world news tonight so much. Speaking of eye openers, I miss world news tonight so much speaking of I openers I miss works the works on a word play level. Hey, you know what at all there's a possibility speaking of world news There's a possibility the 2022. I mean we could see we could see world news coming back We could see world news coming back and let's sabotage it with from yeah, that's right. That's right. You could sabotage it. We have absolutely nothing to announce with that regard, but it could happen. It could happen. We're just saying it could.

It could happen. I won't be there though. No, no, no, it wouldn't be there. What a treat to go from, and just speaking for myself, firstly, what a treat to go from every day of the week, I wear sweatpants and a t-shirt, and now all of a sudden, I have to wear a suit once a week. What a just, I wear sweatpants and a t-shirt and now all of a sudden I have to wear a suit once a week. I just can't wait.

You know what I thought? I wore a suit tie once a week. With some sweet feedback from our 200th episode. What's that, Aaron? Is people felt really sorry. They're like, we didn't mean chaotic in a bad way. So there's going to be good chaos. I know what I was like, we know it's good chaos.

We know that you weren't trying to be mean, but people felt bad. And I'm saying that you don't need to feel bad. I'm personally, Aaron, letting you off the hook. Yeah, what's the sign felt, the quote? No, it's it for you. That doesn't for you, that's the one. Thank you so much. I mean, look, if chaos was a bad thing,

would Knuckles be trying to collect all the chaos in real snow? I don't think so. Good call. Also, I know't think so. Good call. I don't think so. Also, I know chaos can be good because that's one of my favorite Paul of Tompkins characters on Comedy Big Bang. That's true. Wait, all of them?

When he says, gas. Or whatever he says. Oh, cake boss. Oh, he's saying cake boss? Never mind, I don't like it anymore. While you guys were talking, I wasn't listening, and I had a thought. I was like, oh my talking, I wasn't listening. And I had a thought.

I was like, oh my God, I just remembered something super. Well, yeah, I just was like, oh my God, I just remembered something super important that I have to do. And then I just forgot it again. Wow, I love that. Yeah, so I'll let you guys know if I remember the important thing I just remembered. And was like, they got it remembered.

Your brain is a gelatin trip. I'm sorry, it wasn't listening. It's what? There's something I did want to bring up. just remembered and was like, they gotta remember. Your brain is a gelatin trap. I'm sorry, it wasn't listening, it was. There is something I did wanna bring up and this is another little piece of feedback after our 200th episode. After the 200th episode came out, we got a lot of good responses. One response that I got was from the novel coronavirus

and it said, I'm gonna be inside your body right now. And so, it's a weird message. I mean, it's always nice to be the fan, but I was, I was coming up. Oh my God, COVID would be a fan of yours. First of all, I want you to take that personally. I'm coming off of a week of COVID, and I, by the way, not fun, don't get it.

It's my recommendation, just to anyone out there. But after one of the weirdest things is, you know, all about the symptoms of COVID and there's symptoms that people talk about. The worst symptom, and I think this is a symptom that only has ever applied to me because I like tried to Google to do anyone else have this and it was coming up pretty sparse. Night sweats. I had the worst night sweats. Oh, I have horrible nights when COVID.

Okay, good. COVID, you're not alone. Good, because mine lasted for like a full week. Like, there was a full week, I thought I was going in crazy because I could not, I tried almost, I was like a little scientist with a pad in the paper and I'm like, I'm gonna try every different way to sleep that I can to not absolutely soak every part of myself and my sheets.

I tried sleeping on a towel, I tried sleeping above the covers and like full clothing, like a vampire. I tried everything and I was just sweating so much and finally, and I wasn't sick anymore. My fever was not there. I felt like I was getting through it, but it was just like seven nights of night sweats. So I was greatly relieved to be over with that. And then the night after, I got a full night sleep. I felt like at the kick of the fucking world, I wasn't waking up all sweaty. I lost my taste in my smell for maybe like six hours,

but the way that I did it was Mariah and I ate full dinner. We ate our dinner. I had ice cream after dinner, and then at the very end of the night, I went to put a mint in my mouth, and I was like, oh, I can't taste the mint. And I was like, oh wait, I couldn't taste anything that I had at all today,

and I just hadn't even realized that I had lost all of my scent, it's about. It's true. Did you cook it or did Mariah cook it? I don't know. I guess neither one of us because it was Olive Garden. Oh, that's why you didn't notice. I did say, well, I should have tasted the salt. To be honest, I should have tasted the salt.

That's such a knock against Olive Garden to be like, I ate a full dinner and didn't realize I lost my taste. Here's the thing. I was doing really well at not ordering out, but then as soon as I got COVID, I was like, no, I won't cook anything. Like if it's not oatmeal or something,

I can just pour hot water into like, I'm sick, I don't give a shit. Like I'm. You're just pouring hot water onto a frozen pizza. Okay, there's the idea. I will say, JBC, I really love this for you that there's a possibility that you could become a new superhero fighting crime in Chicago called Night Sweats. It's a man who can't sleep at night.

Seven nights of Night Sweats. Yeah. Honestly, it's my Hanukkah. I do think, well, I guess it would be 10. Anyway, I'll get the number soon. I do think that that would be interesting because next wets were awful. And it would be good to turn something that was awful into my superpower, right?

Like, as I did, he was covered in bats. And he thought it was terrible. He didn't sleep. And so he just took on the mantle of bats. I can't see those superpowers. Also most superpowers are awful. Yeah, right? Most superpowers are awful. That's right? Most superpowers are awful.

That's people making lemonade out of it. I disagree on that. I don't know. Most superpowers are awful. Yeah, because then also you have the added pressure of having to help people. I actually think I'm pretty nervous about this. You realize you're having some powers too.

Let's just go through some of the superpowers that we know. So Iron Man comes poison, cat woman, too much teeth. Uh, Mr. Fantastic, two charming. Spider-Man, tummy ache. Who's been by a spider? Now I have the worst shit. I have live disease. I've got to fly because it was a bit of a mess. I got to live.

Yeah, it could happen, it could happen. Superman doesn't know his mom. Um, anyway, that was my experience with COVID. I gotta say zero stars for me. I don't, don't recommend it. Don't recommend anyone gets it. Recommend you don't get it. But I am looking forward to, I'm not a doctor

and I'm no scientist, but I am looking forward to, I'm not a doctor and I'm no scientist, but I am looking forward to my, I wanna say like two months of immunity now because I have all of the, what do they call the anti-toxagins in my body. So now I'm not a scientist. I'm hopefully not gonna get COVID when we go to LA next month for our live show.

I'm very excited about that. Good, good, good. Oh speaking of you not being a doctor, what is, I'm truly curious. In this queen song, another one bites the dust. Okay, good, I'm glad excited about that. Good, good, good. Oh, speaking of you not being a doctor, what is, I'm truly curious. In this queen song, another one bites the dust. Okay, good. Is there a part where he says, not a doctor, or does he say not adopted?

And I refuse to look at that. What is the song is it? I know exactly the part of the song that you're, it's like, it's like after like a guitar, like it's like, bam, it's like, not a dad dad. Adel, you're gonna be so mad. Yes.

He says cake boss. Oh, yeah. Why can't I hear that properly? I don't know. He was a big fan of a buddy, the little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a big fan of Bruce Village, the cake boss. Any cool news?

Any cool news. Okay. Hey, you know what? What, we've had our fun. Does anyone else have anything else that they had to say? I had to talk about my COVID. I had to talk about it. I'm sorry you have COVID. I have one more thing to say.

And it's more of a pointed question to the two of you. Has your last, I wanna say, 15 to 20 days, been dominated by the song, my money don't jiggle jiggle it folds. I hear I've been hearing that song everywhere. I'm so tired of it. I'm not I've been not been on the internet much these last 10 days. So I bet if I had been on the internet a lot I would be. Is that is that what you mean? Are you hearing it on the internet a lot? Is it? I'm hearing it on the internet a lot. Yeah. Where? Because I'm trying to say where else are you going to go to get a song?

Because I think maybe you and I are not on the same websites. Okay. I think we all have a different internet. I think so. Can I can I tell you this is I don't. I don't think that I could hear anything when I'm on the internet because I don't have any sounds playing when I'm on the internet. I can't imagine going to a website and hearing a sound. I know some people do it for like, we sound so old right now. This is like, even though I'm about to turn 40, JVC, that's the craziest thing I've ever

heard you say is, when I go to a website, I don't hear sound. My phone doesn't make any noise because I have everything on my phone on silent. That's nice. I feel like everyone's that way now. My computer doesn't have speakers, so like, except like headphones. So, nothing would play.

Do you remember when you would go to a website and the little bit-toon music would just start playing when people would have just like, do-do-do-do-do-do, like in bed and the web space? Yeah do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do enough to dig my mind space up from the internet. I would love to see my old things. I'm also kind of scared. Every time we touch by Cascada, Cascada played, and it's like all pink and purple. And that's what we play.

But every time we touch, again, this pain in it. Aaron, I'll give you $10,000 if you can name your top eight friends on my space. Oh, I wonder what my last top eight was. My God, I don't know idea who would be in it. Or did they make it bigger than eight at some point? I feel like it used to be like six, and then they were like, I wonder what my last top eight was. My God, I don't know idea. Who would be the next one? Did they make it bigger than eight at some point? I feel like it used to be like six

and then they were like, well, we'll give you 10. And then they, I'm sure anyone, I'm not. They said a little eight. It's better than me. I would have literally no idea. And that's, if you're an eighth grader, let that be a lesson. And I have no idea who my best friends were in eighth grade. I never had in my space.

I remember I got like a Facebook late, but I wasn't, I was not like super online because I was like, oh, everyone I know is just like around me and there's no reason for me to be online. So it was, I was like fucking with someone in a chat room. I was not. And of course you were there. Eighth graders look to your left. Look to your right. None of these people fucking matter. Theyh graders look to your left, look to your right.

None of these people fucking matter. There it goes. You're staring at ghosts. JBC, let's get into some ribbons. Do you guys remember when we used to do warm up burnels on the show? No. Here's this one.

This one. This one, God's. This one comes from a person who did not say that we could use their names. So let's just call them Nick. Yeah, that's just cool. I bet their name is Nick. Well. I bet their name is Nick. Well, I bet their name is Nick.

Wait, hold on now. A Rick or Dick. It could be Rick or it could be Dick. Let's not call him, let's not call him, let's not call him Dick. That seems mean, you know, let's not call him Rick, that's even worse. So let's just call this person Nick.

So Nick writes, two kiddies are having a swimming race. Oh, their names. Oh. Do names. Oh. Do cats like to do that? They would get what? Cat's story to be what? Most cats hate what. Awesome.

Not all. Not all, but what is it? As you are. But I think most kind of covers not all. I think that. I had a cat when I was in high school college, high school college, I believe. And if you would leave like the sink on like the water,

the cat would run in, did it in the bathroom and the kitchen and just stick its whole ass head under it. And normally the cat did not like getting wet, but it would not mind just its whole head getting covered in water so it could lick the running water. I love the videos of cats who are whole head or under running water and they're licking the air. They're like, it's like so close, but not quite. No, it's dumb, dumb. I love the videos of cats who are whole head or under running water and they're licking the air

They're like it's like so close but not quite He would do that he would he'd never likes getting wet But if it was running water from a sink he did not mind getting it all over his head I got to say I don't think I would like that if I was a cat. I don't know. It sounds kind of nice It's like for a cat that must be like a waterfall. Yeah, and it's like maybe like For a cat, that must be like a waterfall. Yeah, and it's like maybe like, like running water is like cleaner because it's like moving all of the germs out. Don't quote me out this, not a scientist.

So maybe there's something like in there bones that is like running water. They have pressure on their head. They like like being licked on the top of the head, not by a human, obviously. I don't know. What do we hear? Obviously, maybe a stretch.

I want to see. Oh, I fucked up. Obviously, maybe you'll stretch. I want to see. Oh, I fucked up. Okay, yeah. Halfway through this whirbup rental. Aaron, you're a cat owner in JPC. You are Aaron's cat and Aaron, you're trying to get your cat to participate more in water activities and just be more comfortable around water in general. All right, your floaties are on and now go down the slide.

What? God, we're not supposed to do this. Time out. Can we do time out? Time out? Yeah, sorry. There's a code that we have to keep where we're not allowed to directly communicate with our owners and Oh my god, but you're talking to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah This is tough a lot of times. It's really easy to keep this covenant because we're running our owners all the time And they have other friends they might have like a you know significant other co-workers Well gale What are you applying co-workers? Well, Gail, uh I feel good to go water park. We're at the top of the slide I'm not going back down. That's humiliating. That's a that's the embarrassment march down the stairs if we're

Chik it we're chicken out right now. You're not chicken. Are you your cat? I don't think most people would think would put we in that situation most people would see you and they would see a thing That you are forcing to do this thing with you. I think I'm good on that I don't think I'm good on that. I don't think I'm getting a lot of social stigma. Gail, you need friends. You can't take your catch on the water park. What?

Not only do I not enjoy it, I don't enjoy it because I'm a cat. I just can't be your only support system anymore. Does that make sense? But you're my best friend. Here's something brittle, Gail. You're one of my friends. Oh my gosh Are you serious? No, not best for sure not best. I've taken you to so many theme parks

You've been to six flags you've been to Disney World you hated all of that are you telling me you hated all of that? Yeah, believe it or not I was praying that I would get Stockholm syndrome that I would just like one day wake up and be like this is my life, but that's the saddest thing I've ever seen Yeah A cat saying timeout is very funny Timeout hang in there kitty. Okay. We gotta get to the second half of this red all it's a real doozy It's a warm-up riddle and let's say it's from Nick. Two kiddies are having a swimming race. Their names are, and this is in quotes, this is the first name, 123 and the second name, undue toa, which cat won the swimming race?

It was a third cat. This is Bono's cat. And its name is Uno Dostres Cotorse. That's a dog game. Okay. This guy doesn't know dick enough shit. Can you read it again, GPC? Two kiddies are having a swimming race. Their names are one, two, three and unditoit. Which one, one?

Hmm. One, one, huh? Which one, one? Oh, which one? Oh, which one? Now, that, I will say, is not the key to the riddle. It's just a fun thing to say one and one back together. Which one, which one, one?

Which one, one? You've got to say which hotline? Uh, okay. Eris, hold on, hold on. Eris, hold on, hold on. Eris, I said which one would, you've got to say which hotline, and you didn't even look at me.

Atta laugh, he like, I just, I was trying to treat this. Okay, hold on a minute. I'll take a nice little bread. Hold on, ready? All right, ready? Uh-huh. Say it again.

Which one? Say it with hotline? Hi, my sandwich has a bad ratio from meat to cheese to vegetables. Okay, have you tried adding more meat? I'm just panicking right now. Um, DQ, the same phone. Baby, baby, Crabbrangoon. No, I'm calling Samway tonight, I'm on one.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. We are not, Samway tonight, I'm on one. 9-1-1 is people, which one, what? You know what I said? We were here first. That's all I got to say. Okay, well, who do I call with the sandwich emergency us? Hold on I'm I'm I'm swat today the only one here give you a second which one one?

Say I'm a child line. Yes. I'm calling because I have no warts on my nose is that coming? I'm sorry. No, my wife just cast a spell on me. You want to dial which one one? This is which one one? Which one? Ma'am, we could do this all day. I'm a big-up and I can still do this one.

Hold on, I'm sorry, we're swapped today. I've got call waiting. Which one one? What's the sandwich? Hi, I'm... Hold on, did I just sit what's the sandwich? Hi What's a sandwich? Oh, no, yeah you did I Well, this is going really well. We're adding a lot of callbacks to episodes people have hopefully heard

They a lot of these are patreon episodes. I'm having a witch witch witch emergency I can't don't know the difference between which which and which in which one is spelled which way Okay, am I calling the right number?? Okay. Am I calling the right number? Okay, so you are calling the right number. Let's, what one is like a crone, one is like a crumb, and one is like a slaying for, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, things I gotta put you on a brief hold which one's which which one one sandwich hotline hey yeah you didn't hear this from me but uh Tommy Demarkis is gonna rob Liberty Bank on Sunday okay and who is this this is don't worry about it just kidding baby grand-grand-grand-grand-grand this is snitch one one right we're getting

further afield look I am going on break. I gotta go, bye. Bibi, bibi, bibi, bibi, bibi. It's one, they hung up, they went up breaking. Well, Road Runner just went by. Bibi, you can't, they went up break. Oh, come on, I wanna keep going. Okay, well, just let's wait,

let's wait like five kids did it. So the break to be over. Hey, JPC, you're on your lunch break. We're gonna put a new collar in for you. That's on my phone Which one wants say which outline? Hey, no one's watching my twitch stream Am I calling the right number? It's emergency. What number did you know? Okay, so if you're looking at your phone

If you're looking at your phone your dialpad right now what your phone, your dial is bad right now. What you should see is a button for Twitch, a button for a witch, a button for a witch, a button for a snitch, a button for a witch, and a button for a witch. Which one's witch now? You dialed which one? I can't help you with which one. I have to go ahead and have another call on my cell phone at break. Which one? What's your, which, which, so am I talking about? Hi, you probably recognize my voice. This chubby chase uh... what was that movie i was in where i wore a bunch of different disguises were you in hitch uh... no

okay well just a year clear to see your clad one one why would be flat did it me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me What are we getting? Dreaming me. So I gotta give you one second. Which one? What's the sandwich? Hi, I'm stuck in the bottom of a ditch. Is this ditch one one? Look at your phone. And also my friends left me.

Okay, so there's only one button left of the phone. No, there's none. There's a fletch button, a ditch button, a hitch button, a witch, a witch and a witch button. Oh, wait, I got ditch ditched. I got ditch ditched. What's that? I said someone soon. Hold on, that's all the buttons, so what could this be?

Which one, what, what's your emergency? Pissed fun fun, what's your emergency? Oh, thank God, Chris. I'm in day time, Pat. You won't believe the stories I heard with Pissed Fun Fun. Why don't we hear about them? Bring me. Hi, this is Switch 1-1, I'm going to switch your calls.

God damn it. God fucking damn it. Okay, so which are these cats? Which two kiddies are having a spinning race? Their names are one two three. What do you mean we're chaotic? Fuck you. Okay. Okay. The first cat won. Aaron says one two three. Unless they're in France. Aaron, do you know why 123 one? Because it was they went 123 go.

And so I think I know why. Aaron, that is, well, I'm not gonna tell you if it's correct or not because I'd love to hear why Adel thinks. Why is she thinking of that CSong where she's like one, two or three, one, two, three. And so that probably bolstered that cat's ego. It's like, I'm in a song.

Yeah, the CSO probably helped that cat's ego, huh? Okay, so you're both. Push it down. Push it down. So you're both right. What's your accent? I don't know. You're both right. It is one, two, three, that one.

I would say you're right for the wrong reasons. I would say that you're based on your reasoning. You're right for no reason. But this is like, I guess the answer to this is kind of like a pun. And it's a pun based off of undertois. Undertois cat. Erinky going. Thank.

Okay. Undertois cat, thank you, Dine. There we go. Well, we don't know that. They probably we go. Well, we don't know that. They probably resuscitated them. We don't know that he died. He's dead! We have to have a funeral for the sickest kitchen. Let's have a funeral for Inditua.

Adel, would you like to say something? Would you like to say something? We are gathered here today to say adieu to one of our most perfect feline. Perfect. Please, no puns at the funeral, because that is how undentwined. Undentwined was such a good kitty. She would always come to the door for fresh baguettes and chevron. Sorry, for chevron. It boohoo, boohoo, boohoo.

It's a le boohoo. Bestie boohoo. Bestie boohoo. Le cry. Le cry. Would anyone else like to say a few words? No. It's too upsetting.

I'm so fortunate. I'm so fortunate. Yes. I will say a few words. Okay. Um. Incredible. Friends you know, I will say a few words, okay Incredible In the tomorrow you are I you are a great cat you are One of the best cats that I have ever met No, you haven't it is Merry Christmas

Emily Chell said the tables Uh... ...Iblis shells and empty tables. Uh... They have British accent in their city, didn't they? Did not you play? A-She's... Wait, she's... ...Dirtanian to Dirtanian.

Oh, they have British accent in their lab with a WAP? Yes, of course, yes. Why? Because it's all within the British and their girls. And... Okay. And which was had with so small, his voice was so small. His nose is small. His nose was so small.

It's little teeth small, but his heart was so big. And then to a small beam. What? And to a small beam. Small beam? Small beam. The way... Jimmy... Yes, good now. And now... Smell beam smell beam Wait Jimmy

Yes, good now and now Wait, she was about to tell us what her name was Jim. I bet what? What? I cannot say oh her name is Gemma parrot you are you're a parrot to name Gemma Gemma parrot GMO? Mm-hmm. GMO padded. Jit-tem-pari. Well, guys, I think we set that fake cat up really nice. I think that we give him a really good sendoff. I think that's a good way to say. I was about to say, are they Maria?

So you cut me off at the exact right time. And the French are doing now what they always do with their dead. Spread them on fresh baked bread. Mm. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Honestly, what a way to go. I would love to just, my dead body just meld to go on a piece of bread. Oh, sounds. Yeah. Honestly, what a way to go. I would love to just, my dead body just meld

to go on a piece of bread. Oh, sounds so good. Yeah, well, just if Mike, if my body can somehow be turned into reclatt and just smeared on potatoes or just the dream. A girl, a girl scout cookie if it's you. Couldn't happen to a nice or guy. Couldn't happen to a nice or guy. Reclatt on a thin mint.

Nah, I'm gonna try it. All right, well, Racklet on a thin mint. Well, that's enough out of us. So we're gonna take a little bit of a break. We got one riddle. We got one riddle down. Yeah, so we're really, we're really flying today. And hey, we'll be back after these brief messages with, I don't know, maybe one more riddle.

What do you think we're gonna get to? What, let's think some bets actually. Addle, what do you think? Well, I think we've just been shamed into doing at least three. I think that we're gonna get a half one done and then do this past one we just already did again. We're gonna forget that we did it. Yeah, I'm gonna put it under.

I'm gonna go, definitely under three and definitely under that half and news to me that you can feel shame. I certainly can't. I can't feel anything anymore. I think you everyone is on board yet, so I secured award-winning sleeper, Merrill Sleep. She's right behind that door, Merrill Sleep. Wow, she won the Golden Pillow for best sleep. That's right. Hey, Merrill. Hello, yes, hello, yes, I'm very well rested after sleeping on my midnight lux, Helix Madras. Good to see you. Good to see you. Your naps are stunning.

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Shh. I don't think I thought you were the person that you were talking about. Who are, what a performance. He looks mattresses all come with a 10 to 15 year warranty depending on the model. Oh, stunning. Yeah, look, Healix is offering 20% off all mattress orders

and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to HealixSleep.com slash riddle. This is their best offer yet, and it will not last long, with Healix better sleep starts now. Go ahead and give her the Academy of Snorr. The Snorr? Academy of Snorr?

You know what? Give me an Academy of Snorr. Glint close to falling asleep. That's why you're here. Oh yeah. I got that a lot. Hey, Adel, hey, Aaron, I got a bone to pick with the two of you. Sure, yeah, I wore the skeleton outfit just because I figured this was coming.

Happy Halloween a few months early. It's not yet. What is it? So you know how the two of you, I was like, guys, I am always so hungry for lunches and dinners and the like and you jokers told me, oh, JPC, it's okay. All you have to do is take some you know American paper currency Take it to your front door close the door and then wait until someone brings you food Well, I kept opening the door and the money was gone

So I had to take more money to my door. I think you think didn't work at all Oh, oh We told you door dash is the number one thing to you. What the hunk? With dorkdash, you'll enjoy next level convenience with delivery in the hour, making it easier than ever to get whatever you want delivered to your house, whether that be back to school supplies or whatever it is that you eat. JPC, which I don't know what you eat.

I eat back to school supplies. But what? JPC all your favorite retail, grocery and convenient stores are on the app so you can chop everything, your kids, your dogs, your family might need for back to school. And hey personally, just yesterday I bought some marshes homemade premium quality buck eyes, you know those candies that are chocolate stuffed with peanut butter. I just got those from DoorDash and they were, they were on my porch within 20 minutes. And it's very, very dangerous because they're delicious. Did you fill your belly and your pantry? Uh, yes. Did you fill your backpack?

I did. Okay, well then DoorDash has come again for the gold. I remember distinctively the stress of going back to school and going from store to store to get all my favorite snacks and pencils and pencil cases and all the things that I needed me and my siblings and I remember how stressed my mom was and I know that she would have loved to have door dash so she could be prepared before the big back to school day arrived. So you can stock up with go-to breakfast lunch lunch box staples, and brands that you love. Don't eat my school supplies JPC.

To be safe, but that eraser out. Put that trapper keeper down, your mouth is too small. Never been told that before. Shop door dash to get everything you need for the back to school season delivered right to your door. Order now for stress free back to school shopping, use promo code RIDDLE to get 50% off up to $10 value. When you spend $15 or more at convenience, grocery, or retail stores on DoorDash, that's

50% off up to a $10 value. When you spend $15 or more, promo code RIDDLE, don't forget JPC because you keep eating those school supplies. That's code RIDDLE for 50% off your next order, Terms Apply. At all, JPC keeps eating my gel pens. Thanks DoorCash. I mean, no, that's the one that one didn't work. That one's bad. Hey, JPC. Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking at all.

And I'm setting up a website to bring them. Okay, I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stay in doubt and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand,

Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website. It engaged with your audience and so think for products to cut into time all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Addle, come here, come here, come here. Hey, what's what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace you can have custom merch? You can easily sell custom merchant create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand,

design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna shoot you. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from.

That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords our popular products and content on my prank website. The prank that you The prank activity. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for.

The website was for. Prank. With Squarespace, you can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey, A.J.P.C. Hey, G.P.C. What's up, Vattle? edit third party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Madel? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine.

Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey Aaron. Hey, Erin. Erin, can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Hey, and if you're listening to this on the free feed, ad free feed, I should say, the feed that you pay buddy for, but it's ad free. You missed out on some really great ads. What free feed, free free free free free free free. I gotta say, no joke, no bones about it. I'm proud of, I'm proud of the way that we record ads. I think I have fun. You know what, we, we, we're some of the best in the game. We do exactly what they say. We hardly ever have to do make good ads.

We have to, we have to have the have a couple I would say. Yeah. Because we get a little too silly. You know we're good at recording ads when Casey has like at least six times gone. Are you guys okay? After we record ads. So that's how you know we're good. Yeah. We had one ad where lens craft we got back to us and they said, this is 14 minutes and you don't mention our product once. Also we're not a sponsor Yeah, we used to record a lot of ads on spec and we would all about once a week we'd record a lens Crafter ad on spec

We had physically mail it to the location of a close lens crafter and eventually we did hear back from someone As a cease and desist. Oh, well speaking of cease and desists, this is a a few of our submissions and look, this person does not give us the right name, the privilege to use their names. Let's just call them Peter. This is from Peter and believe me, I did change that name. I'm not just reading Peter from this email.

This is from a different person. I can't even begin to tell you what this person's name is. It's definitely not Peter. I think you're talking a lot for someone who isn't a liar. I don't know. I talk a lot in general and, uh, okay, let's not examine that too much. Peter writes or somebody's name is, it doesn't matter what their name is. It doesn't matter. Love your podcast, I love tricks and riddles. Here a few that I haven't heard yet. Hope you can use some of the videos to word them however you like.

Now feel free to word them however you like. Peter gave me a lot of license and I will be taking that opportunity a little later in the riddles. But yeah, Peter says that they love tricks, isn't that weird? I'm, is it with an X or a CK? It's with a CK so it's not the real. It makes me nervous. Are you Peter?

I'm not Peter. I'm not Peter. And this email is from 2018. Okay. So I got to remember, in 2018, were we given tricks? Were we doing tricks? I think the podcasts might have been mostly tricks back then. Yeah, I do.

I feel like we, if I'm remembering right 2018, this might be right. I feel like we started every episode and we'd say trick or treat. People would inevitably select trick or they'd select treat. And then we'd say, how, how I tricked you. The only option was trick. We gave you the illusion of choice. Yeah, we were toilet papering a lot of other podcasts back in 2018. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This, this riddle is from October 14, 2018. So it could be a Halloween tie-in. Yeah. Yeah. It looks on three. Let's also say our favorite Peter one. Okay. Two three Peter Paul and Mary. Okay. I said

Aaron said Peter Paul and Mary Oh, but Peter Gabriel Peter Gabriel Peter Gabriel. That's the Gabriel. That's the best. Sledgehammer. Is it Stewie from Family Guy? Isn't he a Peter? Yeah, his full name is Stewie Peter. Great, stewed Peters. Here's the first one from a person that I'm calling Peter. I'm hungry.

There's one word in English that has three consecutive sets of double letters. What is it? Wow, we're really caught up on these one riddles, huh? I also got to tell you, I got to tell really caught up on these one riddles, huh? I also got to tell you I got to tell you a lot of a lot of the riddles quote unquote the Peter submitted are kind of just like facts that you have to know and I'd be like that. Well, I'm a bit of a worrisome Aaron, you're very close. Aaron is very close. And she's right. No, she's not. Well, I know the bookkeeper is the one I know. Yes,

but be keeper also works. No, it doesn't. No, I'm sorry. Yeah. Okay. There's one. Okay. But now, you know what would work is a be keeper. Be keeper. Spelled. All right. All right, add a lot. I can't see a seed. You're going to be playing a super villain. Edel, you are going to be a super villain named the Beak Keeper. You are the Beak Keeper. I'm your henchman, Erin is the superhero, and you have caught Erin and you're about to unveil your evil plot. You have finally won.

You are the Beak Keeper. You'll never get away with this Beak Keeper. What are you up to anyways? Well, I'm glad you asked. Ha ha ha. I'm glad you've come home to nest. Well, I'm glad you asked. Ha ha ha ha ha. I'm glad you've come home to nest. Me, the Beakkeeper, the one criminal and all of Memphis who keeps killing the birds and keeping their beaks.

I'm going to build a city out of beaks. And then... Wait, what is this? I'm so sorry. I thought I was with my nemesis, the Beakkeeper. You're the Beakkeeper? Yes, I'm the sorry. I thought I was with my nemesis the beekeeper. You're the beak keeper. Yes, I'm the beak keeper Learn how to spell bee EK K E E P O R the beak keeper. You're real weirdo. Who's tying me up right now? I'm sorry That's me I'm not even here. Hi. I'm I Haven't been giving an individual instrument name yet. My name is Sean Reynolds. Oh

Stop using your real name. I just I need a hitchman name Actually if I'm sorry be keeper if we're doing this now I'd love to break it up again to workshop today. I do need a name mister Khloeka Don't I don't love it. Beak keeper is keeper. What if that was your name? I kind of just work with beak keeper. I guess I'd beak helper.

I do have a Kloika, like sonar. I was bitten by a Kloika. Oh, well then that's enough. I know, but like, ah, it's like one of the worst days of my life and do I really want to make that bite, babe. So be a keeper. You're keeping the beaks from birds. Like, ah, it's like one of the worst days of my life. And do I really want to make that by day? But, um... So, people, you're keeping the beaks from birds? That's really gross and weird. Well, no, because it's a means to an end,

I'm going to build a city out of beaks. I can think of a million better materials to build a city out of. Name 20. Okay. Wood. Steel. Hold on. Cement. Oh, wood. Pull it over. Right there. Birds living trees. City of name 20 okay would Steel hold on cement

Would pull it right there birds living trees. Should I be ready to stay? Should I be ready to stay? Should I still be tying her up? I don't I don't want to do a bad job What about the Reynolds rap? I know it's my last name. That's an episode of personal identifiable information So I probably should keep that P.I. John Reynolds, right? Yeah, Sean Reynolds, that's my name. Uh. It's interesting, Sean Reynolds, that you don't want to be doing a bad job, because you've been doing a terrible job this whole time, because.

Ha ha ha. You haven't been serving the beekeeper at all. You've been serving? Zip. Ugh. Dr. Camelians. Oh, oh. Oh, hi, Dr. Camelians. All right, I feel way better. I feel safe now. It's just Dr. Camelian! Oh, hi, Doctor! I feel way better. I feel safe now.

It's just Dr. Camelian. I can be you. Wait, you feel safe? Yeah, I mean like- That's to hear. No, I mean, I thought you were like a real super villain. You're Dr. Camelian, the guy who just sort of wants to be around. I'm gonna push you!

Oh, you're gonna push me! I know you will. I would never. Do you want to go get a beer? Yes Can Bhucha do they have hard can Bhucha? You're ridiculous So the the check then this check from the beekeeper. This is good about this is not good at the job Yes, yeah invalid it was written if you turn it around

Yeah, we've written on a good humor wrapper. This is Gideon's sticky. We're going to get a hard kombucha. I would love what I can't pay. I've been working on this spec for a very long time. I can pay. Thank you so much. What was your name? Sean Reynolds.

Damn. Let's see. Of course. Okay. Sean Reynolds. Let's get the hell out of this episode you guys We're going all right, we're going all right JP. See you coming. Yeah, I guess I who's driving Oh Oh, not a drive. Not going. I'm not a woman. No, I did almost everything else.

Yeah, I'm not great at driving anymore. I used to be very good, but now I'm a nervous driver. Adely, you want a drive? Okay. Put the keys in the glove box and stop on the ground. We're going normal speed through this episode, I guess. The car isn't getting hot like it should.

The car isn't getting hot like it should. You got to rub your finger across it. It's just the right way. Okay, so that was the first riddle from Peter. Like I said, it's more of a fact than a riddle. So you're ready for your next, I want to say fact. I guess it's the fact that it's also from Peter. Like I said, it's more of a fact than a riddle. So you're ready for your next, I wanna say fact, I guess it's a fact, it's also from Peter. Let's do it.

What sentence in the English language can be spoken, but not written down? So this is a sentence that can only be spoken, but it can never be written down. Got it. Ooh, Addle, I love your confidence. What do we got? Gibbity, gibbity, gibbity.

Oh. The subject? The gibbity verb. Oh. Is it, I don't have a pen. Give it a give it a give it a give it a give it a give it a give it a give it a give it a is it a I don't have a pen no that's a very good guess error what what sentence can in the English language can only be spoken and not written down yeah there's a very specific reason why it cannot be written down

And it has to do with I have to do with you know kind of the way that the English language is structured I would say God you So these are like forbidden words. No, I don't think you're gonna want to use any slurs Too late here there comes But I do think that they're I think that it's it it's less about the content of the words and more about the content of their character. Yes, exactly. Thank you.

More like the structure of how sentences can work. I guess so. I think it's like, you know, we did this a little earlier in the episode. We were having some fun with words. And it's along the same line of some of the fun that we were having back in the cat rental. I wanna learn today. I don't wanna learn today.

Don't make me learn. So it's like a continuation of the plan words. No, it's not a plan words. That's not the fun with what we were having. We could have been a... Hey, we even have a lot of fun with words today, huh? A you, Addle. You might be on to something there.

How many names, how many phones? How many names, how many phones? Let's see. What, so, read the riddle one more time? So this can be spoken. Yes. If you speak it, it makes sense, but as soon as you try to write it down,

it's like, uh-oh, it's not, it actually doesn't make sense. It doesn't work when you write it down. Where, where, where, where? This is the and, are spelled different, right? They sound the same, but they're spelled differently and I think homophone is spelled the same, but... There is one hominem, there's one hominem in it. One, okay.

Okay, ee. Which one is it? Well, it's not one, so keep going. Two. There we go. That's the one. Oh, you two. Two, two, two. This is fun for me. To watch this is fun for me. I love you two too. Two toes. I love you both as well. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. Oh, no, she's falling.

Aaron, you're driving away. You're on the right path. But there's only one instance of the word too in this, but you are on the right path with there being multiple twos. Aaron, can I just say I loved your rendition of the theme for madman? Alley, falley, falley. Madman, madman, madman, madman. Alley. What percentage of people do you think saying madman, madman in that way to that theme? I definitely did.

I definitely did. I definitely did. I definitely did. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Use instances of two is part of the answer to this rental, but the word to his own the one there once You guys are so close you're on I want to say death's door To I went to I went to

You all you have to tell me is that you are ready for me to tell you the answer and I will swoop in Swoop in sounds like Shawn has a new name We're drunk we're just drunk you can be as mean to me as you want I'm still never gonna stop giving you the answer to this riddle if you ask for I'd like to see a scene I'm sorry. JPC, you're an English teacher, Adel and I are the students, and you're trying to make English fun. Okay. Pfft.

Farts. Yeah, very nice Kyle. Pfft. Oh my gosh. Whoa. Mr. Benatari, Mr. Benatari, did you just do a line of coke? I did a bump of coke. It's different from a line.

A line, that would fucking be up all class, but a bump That's just gonna give me enough energy to go through until a second period. Mr. Benitarni, aren't you worried about fentanyl? Oh, I'm very worried about fentanyl. If you're not testing the cocaine that you do with fentanyl test strips before you do it You are doing something that could be very dangerous. Now luckily, I got this cocaine from a trusted friend of mine Uh-huh mine and we tested it for fit and all. You got it from me. What's up, teach? That's Jack. Of course everyone, I'm sorry you know him, it's Mr. Anderson, he's the principal, he's auditing my class today because I have had a lot of complaints. Sorry Jack, sorry. You're acting like two, so everybody

needs anything. You know what it all. Can I be excused? Can I be excused? What did you fart Kyle and everybody laugh at Kyle because he farted. That's why he needs to be excused. Please don't. I don't want to touch it in this moment. I don't want to touch it in this moment. No everyone um look let's all just chill out. Everybody turn your desks around backwards. Why? Just turn your desk around backwards man who cares and still and still face forward or or turn with the desk turn your desk It's like a desk and chair combo, so turn it backwards sit on the top of the desk and then put your like legs on the top of the chair So it's like everyone's kind of like it's like your desk is now a big chair. Does that make sense? Okay? Sorry, mr. Bennett turningari. How does this um? How does this sort of tie into Shakespeare first of all? Let's let's let's cut the formality everybody just call me Bennett, okay?

Yeah, your full name is Bennett, Benitari. No, my full name. That sounds like an Andre my full name is Bennett Tostitos bit of dirty Ah, and yes, I guess you got me. I am heir to the chip fortune which chip ruffles My dad married captain ruffles And so I kind of I buried into the chip fortune Oh, so it's like a John Kerry situation. I'm not familiar. We're what's that guy's name Steve? You're an English teacher, and you don't remember John Kerry hold on. Why is that a part of English class? I know I'm just saying you should be smart my parents pay your salary. What are we doing?

I'm 15. I wouldn't know who John Kerry is. You're 15 years old I'm curious. You're 15. Years old. Yeah. So for you. So for you. What's that? How did you get to teach the class?

I was appointed. Oh, almost like crossing guard or one monitor. Yeah, Betsy DeVos. Wow, so you know her. Because she gave me a job. Yeah, I've been actually never met her before she gave me the job. She's Princess by Bobcathard Ruffles

because all old rich women know each other. That makes sense. What are we doing today? Can we just continue to read what we read last semester, which is teaching Mr. Tingle? About those kids who kidnapped a teacher, and then the teacher has Anjana and dies. I don't know, didn't we already read that?

You want to reread that book? Is that bad? That good that you want to reread it? What's your favorite part? The part where the teacher dies. OK, I mean, that's a little like synopsis. And also a little part of the synopsis. And also learning the word angina because it rhymes with.

With vagina. Mr. Anderson, how are we doing on time? Hey, as long as you want palo. Nice. I just did a line, that's a line, kid. Not a bump. Oh, okay, he's going hard. You know that the drugs are safe

with the drug dealer does it in front of you. That's right there. That's right there. Write that down. What's that? What's that? What's that? And hey, everyone, everyone listen quiet on set um

The TV show has been cancelled uh NBC said it's NBC said it's unrealistic What do you mean? What do you mean NBC said? NBC told us That super purple yet we're on CBS. That's so mean. Are we canceling shows just because other networks are mean to us now? Yes Yes, that's all me. Are we canceling shows just because other networks are mean to us now? Yes. Oh, yeah, that's always the good.

You're gonna cancel on order, because it's stupid. Oh, while we lay that to NBC, I think we take action. Stupid. I'm sorry, everyone. Please take as much craft services as you want today. There will be no final paycheck. We cut over to the Fox slot.

Jeff has anyone called? No. No calls. No calls at all. Jeff has anyone called? No. No calls. No calls at all. I think they forgot about this. Guess keep making whatever we make. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. See.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Just keep making whatever we make. You couldn't even make one. I could. Do you guys what the is? What are we doing? What's a current show? What's a current television show?

Are these the making a television? Family guy? Thank you. Family guy. Yeah. So current television show, and Adela can pull animation from 20 years ago. Yeah, that's so, they're still on Fox.

I think they still probably are making new episodes of those things. Definitely Simpsons. I'm trying to think what is on Fox. I don't know. I don't, I don't watch, oh. Where's your children? I was gonna say what we do in shadows, but that's FX. That's FX, which is a great station.

Great station. Two, something two. Except for, since I'm just asked, just tell me, say JPC, I'm ready for the answer this for the whole thing. I'm ready for the answer. Okay, okay. This is a tough one. The sentence that can be spoken but not written down is

According, this is according to Peter and Amy that I'm making up There are three twos in the English language Yeah, you can say that you can say that but as soon as you try to spell it I love this you spell you spell two, but there's only one T. W. Oh in the English language There's not three T. W. Oh Clever Peter What a clever boy. Not throw fruit at him. Look at that little clever Peter. Yeah, it's wrong with the fruit at him Oh, man, I throw a cantaloupe Oh, they learn him good

Okay, three twos in the English language. That's a good one. I like that one. But that is, yeah, that is like a fact. But I guess you could, I don't know, we somewhat, Aaron somewhat sussed out. Yeah, Aaron somewhat sussed out. I don't know if you know what I'm talking about. There's a couple more facts here.

So let's get into the couple more Peter's facts that you're cleverly disguising as a riddle. I guess this is maybe the trick that you talked about earlier in your introduction. Here we go. This is the riddle. Using correct grammar. So correct grammar, we're back to grammar. Wait, I'm sorry.

Did you say using country grammar? Because I'll have to go grab my Nelly CD. Kelsey Grapper. Kelsey Grapper, thank you. It's good to be hot in here. So human to be. I am getting so hot. I want to take my dog out.

That's not bad using correct grammar. Is it more proper to say five eight I'm sorry is it more proper to say five and seven is 11 or five and seven are 11 so correct grammar more proper to say five and seven is 11 or five and seven are 11. They're both incorrect at all. Yeah why? Because well you said this is a trick, so I'm just giving it what I assume is the trick is that. Yeah, neither of those sound right to me. It's the amount of my face. You say equals.

No, no, no. Now, grammatically, you could say equals, but. Oh, because that's not what it, it's not even equals. Aaron? Four plus seven is eleven. Ah. Five plus 7 is 12. You are correct. It is a trick.

Actually, the trick still is a foot because neither of those things are 11. 11 is played by what's her name, little Samantha. What's that girl's name? Little Samantha. That's the guess. Who plays 11? That is the funniest. Oh my God, I wish there was an actress

named Little Samantha. I would just love it. Lily Bobby Brown. Lily Bobby Brown. Lily Bobby Brown. I would love it if every one of the kids from Stranger Things and the credits was like, in this guy by Little Joey, in this one,

Little Samantha. Little Samantha. The role is just called Little Versus. Tiny Jeffy. But also, I think Peter writes. Is Little Samantha? It's not my decision for the role of scary kid.

Between is or are either one sounds like they could be correct, grammar experts have not really settled that one, but you're right, Aaron. Five and seven is, as we all know, 12, not 11. I was so focused on the wording. I didn't even think to examine the numbers. That's the trick, that's the trick aspect. Are you guys ready to be tricked again?

And now speaking of country, and now speaking of Gelsing Grammar, I feel like a Philistine. You're doing great. It's not you, Adel, it's us. I'm not moving so slow. I can't not listen just my younger brother in Egypt. Okay. This is another trick for you guys. AKA in a riddle. What was the name of the president in 1996? Now Aaron,

you weren't alive back then, but Alan I asked all dogs. Well, the president in 1996. So this is going to be a trick. This is a trick. Now, I will tell you right now, this is a trick. You said 1996. 1996. One, nine, six. One coming in, one going out.

One coming in? Oh, that's a real, because it's 96. Yeah, it is. We're talking an election year. Now, as we all know, 96 an election year, but I don't think that what is it called that you become the president of the coronation? I think that's the following year, right? William.

Yeah. Well, I think we all know that, well, this happens in January. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So, so 97, in 97, there were two presidents at the time because there's an incoming and not going, but in 96. Well, no, not 97 because Bill Clinton had two terms. Oh, I mean, you're absolutely right.

So George, the handoff from George Bush senior to Bill Clinton would have been two in one year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Obama to Trump one would have been as well. No, George is not correct. The name of the president in 1990. President of what? Oh, there we go.

I wanna tell you, United States of America. Oh, okay. Yeah, I must say United States of America. Did you know the name of the very first president of the United States, his name was John Hanson? Mm-hmm, yeah. Look it up, fuckin' mother fuckers. Fucking made up all those little muppets.

Yeah, all into the washing table. Oh, I just tricked trick me just tell me what it is just trick me trick me trick me tell me the riddle Roman Juliet soundtrack. Thank you. Um, you guys don't want to No, no other guesses here. Yeah, I want to crack away this not a little longer. I think you can get this read it again What was the name of the president in 1996? The name of the president in 1986? The name of the president He went from William William to Bill So both those are incorrect. Bill Clinton. That's incorrect. You're not even in the right ballpark with that. Was it? It wasn't Bill Clinton. It wasn't George Clinton. It wasn't George Bush. It wasn't George Bush. George W

It wasn't George Bush. It wasn't George Bush. George W. What's the name? Oh wait. Oh, that's right. Clint got assassinated. Yes, this is like a movie. Al Gore. No, it's not like a movie. My life like a movie. But this is not like a movie and it's not nothing. A Bill Coleman. Bill Coleman. That's really it's a really good guess. In the past, it came out 96. Yeah, maybeman, Bill Paulman. Dude, that's really, that's a really good guess. And the person came out 96. Yeah, maybe five. Give us a guess.

Give us a guess. Give us a guess. Give us a guess. I know, I'm gonna give you guys a guess. I'm gonna give you guys a guess. Steve. No. Give us a hint.

What was the name of the president in 1996? What was the name of the president in 1996? Okay, whoa, whoa, you just said 96? 1996. Oh, 1996. Okay. Yes. The hints is they never changed their name. Okay. They've had this name. They've had this name their entire life as far as we know. Okay. And 96. Name of the president in 96. This is I love love this riddle, by the way. Now, now I really love this riddle. So let me ask you this, is this an actual president's name?

Yes. And it's not the president's we mentioned. No, you've only mentioned two presidents, two George Washington, George Bush. Well, is it like Ronald Reagan, because so much so much. No, no. Bush. No.

Al Gore. No, but you're Al Gore? They're not playing it. Very close, they're quite- I know, very close. There's some sort of trick to it. I think if you list enough president's days, you will get this.

Richard Ronald. This person is a non-conoclinian. A president. There are history books as being a president of United States. Of the Dead Sits. Oh, oh, I got it. Aaron president in 1996 Well, the quote unquote president of the time was Bill Clinton, but we all show behind every good man. Uh-huh Hillary Clinton No, it great. What is this? I told you that you would get it if you don't think oh

Abraham Lincoln Casey is gives you really John Quincy Adams Barack Obama no peers you're getting closer I said air Obama's closer Donald Trump is even closer what Joe Biden there we go Joe Biden was his name in 1996 he did did not change his name. So the president. Oh, fuck you. And fuck you, and fuck you. He's just a black fuck you.

Oh, I'm leaving to another planet now. Okay, bye. It's fucking you. And you. And you. And you. And you. And you especially.

It disappears forever. No clap. And Casey, don't clap. Stop. Come back in a thousand years to check on Earth. Oh, what is Earth like a thousand years from now? Well, hey, you know what? You guys did a really, really great job. No, we did.

So we've come to the end of the show and I got to ask, Edel, do you have anything that you would like to plug? I have something that I would like to plug. It's just one thing, but it's something very special and important to me. And that is, I encourage all of you to go watch on Apple TV, a new show called The Shining Girls. Now, Shining Girls is a great TV show. It's based on a wonderful book that I read some years ago, but here's the thing. It's not only the great acting, it's not only the great story, it's not only the atmospheric thriller of the nature of the beast, but it also stars my sister Cedia Rify

Wow, she goes to you, Cedia Rify in the shining girls on Apple TV Tell her Adel sent you and enjoy her work on screen That's really great Aaron, what about you anything that you would like to plug? If you want to follow hey riddle riddle on Instagram and Twitter We have live show announcements rolling in so that's where you'll find that. And also, if you want to check out sitcom D&D, we're nearing the end of season one. So lots of fun special guests. You can follow that on Twitter and Instagram as well.

JPC Anything to Plug. I got to give up my plugs for a couple of reviews. The first one comes from CrazySquirrel53. Right? Be advised. This is a 5 star review. It says, JPC will find your cousins and date them. Adel will apologize for you bumping into him. Adel and Aaron will laugh hysterically. Please listen to this podcast for more information. And then finally, we have the second riddle review that I would like to highlight here. This is a 5 star review from K-A16 K-A writes trauma bonded. JPCP. said, J.P.C. said he would read whatever is written, so J.P.C. eats farts.

Yeah. Oh, buddy, you could have come to us with that. We wouldn't have told anyone. I don't know if I like that. Yeah. They also said it all serious, and his favorite overdose, the first podcaster truly made me laugh out loud in public, these three are an absolute lie,

air it as a bright light in my dark, glimps the tolerant world, J.P.C.C.C.'s hilarity can pull me out of my worst days in Adel. I'm part of the 20% of the population that enjoys your every pun. And anecdote to prove there. Adel, that's the only type of compliment you could recognize. That's a incredibly generous. Uh, yeah, 20% for your jokes. And anecdote to prove there in attainment value in 2021, I had plans to run a half marathon a month before I broke my arm and ended up walking the race instead. What were you gonna fucking walk it on your fucking hands?

What the fuck is going on? You broke your ibuket run race. I listen to a hero run delivery step of the three hour trek to say I am trauma bonded to these folks. It's an understatement. Thanks for doing what you do. Would you listen to our podcast if you were running a marathon?

I think I think I don't go with something more like inspirational. Well maybe you would make you run faster. If you really gotta get a hell out of here. And then you put them into like ice cubes and then eat them. What is this fucking ol' idiot? I don't have a Michelin star over here. I just eat the fart, man. Well, Jupiter.

I just eat the fart. Jupiter, I guess, and you buy. Hey, you real, real. Created by Apple Revive. Sorry, Erin Keen. And John Patrick calling. Casey Tony to the editing. I've already parried in the music.

Vocal created by Emily Cardamus and Emily DeBora. There's a fletch button, a dish button, a hitch button, a Or hate me to break your name. Sigh... Sigh... There's a FLECH button, a DISH button, a HITCH button, a WHICH, a WHICH, and a WHICH button, a DWICH button. Ffff. Hey there rats and swallows, if you like that you are going to love this week's Patreon. It's part two of our hey riddle city inspired superhero series. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com such as hey riddle riddle by joining the clue crew for five

dollars a month or the review crew for eight dollars a month. Any good demand for your episodes? See you there!