Hey Riddle Riddle - #203: He’s Back!

Episode Date: June 8, 2022

Don’t try and teach JPC a lesson! It doesn’t work! Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. Hello everyone, we're going to start today with a poem written by friend and listener of the show, Sean Marr. It is topical to an episode that we've done this year, and I just need you all to stay quiet and stay in your seats. Are you ready? I'm sorry. Was that so sorry? Is that and or do you see we're supposed to stay quiet? I know, but was it stay quiet and stay in your seats or is it stay quiet or stay in your seats? Because I want to make sure that it's both. Yeah, so sit down. So can I hop over your chair? I need to sit both. Yeah, so sit down. Covering over your chair. I need to. Yeah, yeah, okay.

Was the night of the night. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Your seat got cold and that amount of time. How did you do it? Excuse me? Aaron? Yes. I think Adel gave me a cold seat. I think that your butt is just so hot that when you got up from your seat for just one second, he's not pranking you. I promise I think it can be a cool Aaron.

Yeah. JBC was right. You've been cold seated. No. Oh, cold seated. Addles dad packs have extra freezer packs in his lunch box and he knows he says go to school and cold seat as many people as you can. Okay, I have a real poem. I have a real poem.

Okay. How did you nail my dice accent? It was the night of their live show and in the green room the clue crew was together for real not through Zoom Aaron drank some warm tea to preserve vocal health while JPC warmed up by pissing himself When Adel first heard the slight noise of a hoof, stepping lightly on top of the theater roof. He checked the day's date. In two his dismay, Christmas Eve was still over and seven months away. GBC get the gun, Adel screamed far too late, as the body thumped down.

Somebody thumped thump. Great, thank you Adel. Adel's listening. As the body thumps down, Aaron grabbed her nunchucks. Adel took up the bat that he always had, hidden underneath his hat. Then a figure emerged, plumped, and shrouded in red. From the pants around his waist to the hat on his head. Uncle Santa cried, Aaron.

Oh, God, please, oh no! The figure responded with a warm ho ho ho. Though he clearly was just GPC and a wig, Adel reckoned this chap would take over their gig. Don't let him on stage, or he'll sap the show's vibe. And then with a speed, I can hardly describe, Adel leaped up and brought the bat down on his head, while Aaron crouched low and went straight for the legs.

His own head? I do it all the time. On his head, not on his head while Aaron crouched low and went straight for the legs. His own head? I do it all the time. On his head, not on his own head. I call it loony-tutings myself. On his head. The pair grabbed a bag. They could dump Santa's limbs in. For soon it was over, the battle was done.

Uncle Santa lay dead. The clue crew had won. But wait. But wait, was this Aaron pulled the fake beard? An underneath which lay a slight, rather weird. It's not said to at all, said Aaron in a groan. No, who lay at their feet, but little monkey bones. Oh, no.

A same person. Distrat JPC, who was there all this while, knelt down by the body, and with a soft smile, he caressed bones his face and lay his eyes closed, a tear in his eye from the ground are boy-roars. But to their surprise, his smile continued to grow. He said, great warm-up, guys, let's start the show!

Wow. Aaron and Adel, they both stood there. It's a downloadable spirit, it's a downloadable spirit do their done and watch Jay Prey see break into a run They followed along both in a dull rage in front of the audience and on to the stage So if the show is good. Oh, it's just gonna say Jay Prey see you can get you pregnant Thank God you're here Okay, sorry. So we killed friends of our treasure. We killed friends of our treasure. It's so old. We killed friends of our treasure.

What's next? So if the show's weird, and energy seems to lack, know that we just killed Santa, so cut us some slack. Mm-hmm. Wait, no, it wasn't Santa. It was monkey bones. Now get in your seats and turn off your phones. Let your mind wander and let your thumbs twiddle as we do our podcast.

Hey Riddle Riddle. And that's the last you'll be hearing from Erin. Hi, I'm Uncle Santa. Ho ho ho! And I'm a third host to Hey Riddle Riddle today. I told you this was coming and you can't be mad. Ho ho ho, yeah. What's that?

Aaron's gone. This is the same Uncle Santa or a different Uncle Santa. Oh, it's the... Let's see. What should we do? So wait, in that poem though, Uncle Santa was little monkey pose. Yeah, he was Uncle Santa, your friend. Your friend.

Oh ho ho. Oh ho ho. He was presenting. Oh ho ho ho. To ho ho. Yeah. Was presenting. Oh ho ho ho. To be little monk. Oh no. Little monkey bones was pretending to be me.

Uncle Santa. I've worked it all out. I'm your uncle. Wait. Little monk. Is that just like a half-sized Tony Shaloub? Yeah. My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, It's a critique for the Poe of was they were calling little monkey boats a lot of things calling the bones Nobody calls little monkey boats boats. That's something you would call David Borea That's the show's close with him Sean Marrow the boom. That's true

And have you ever been to Alaska during the David Boreanus? It is so You can't a lot of times you have to record it or also doesn't show up It's I tried to see the board David Boreanus when I was traveling in the What's it called though? That water way the, oh the Emily Dishonel, uh, but I couldn't, I couldn't see the David Boranis, even though I wanted to. You have a couple more of those in you JPC?

I don't know any, John, John Francis daily. He was on boats. Who else was on boats? I don't know who else was on boats. A lot of people. Uncle Santa. Yeah, a lot of people.

We Uncle Santa. Uncle Santa. You're on an episode of Bones? We are one. I played a mall Santa. And I didn't get credited those sons of bees. Yeah, and is that racist or Santa's? Well, no.

So Uncle Santa. I have a question. You said you were someone's uncle Was that directed at adult or me are you adults uncle? Yes, I'm I decided I'm the same uncle Santa I just say it does before okay I'm adults uncle who Santa but you understand my confusion because I've never met you correct I Understand your confusion Adults confusion is hurtful. Your confusion is understandable. Yeah, because that's your uncle, man. You're never met because the last time I was here, you weren't around.

Yeah, I wasn't here. Oh, that's such a shame. And I don't just left. But it's me cousin elf. We can't do the candy. I'll see you all that. Yeah, understood. I'm gonna let Adults do this bullshit voice. I don't know. You're right. You're right. My bad my bad bad bad bad bad guys I've learned my lesson never trying to have a What's been going on since the last time we've seen you? Well, I gotta tell you I did go down the rabbit all of the online Criticism that I got on Uncle Santa's sticks that going down chimneys not rabbit holes You know, this is the sticks that going down chimneys not rabbit holes. Oh, dog monkey sand. You just can't, you just can't do it.

You can't, you can't feed the trolls after midnight. You can't go read the comments. The comments will kill you every time. You see, did you hear it, Uncle San, did you said? Was it, oh, I'm Uncle Santa? Said, dog monkey Santa, dog monkey, monkey bones, little monkey bones. Pets, little monkey bones in a suit. Well, I thought little monkey bones

was the one that was throwing us off from this uncle's head, though. Okay, well, just a bunch of, yeah. Well, casually mentioned something only little monkey bones would do. Don't step on a joke I was planning for later. Let the episode happen, or we'll see what happens right before plugs.

We'll talk to avoid stepping on plan jokes that we don't know about. You, I know, but you're faster than me. Okay, you proved it, you proved it. It's also impossible to plan a joke for this show. I'll be sent to because at this point, four years in, we all have the exact same brain that just been belted into the one like light migrat.

Yeah, and I'll go sit there. Yeah, that's a good idea, nephew. If you remember, you were born out of a moment when I said, hey guys, I have an idea. And then we never got to that idea. Look, we can't do it other Uncle Santa. I'm going to the doctor. I'm going to the doctor.

Oh, that's right, I'm going to say it to him. Well, Uncle Santa, that sounds great. I'm glad you're doing well. Can we get you anything? Can we validate your parking? No, I'll be here the whole episode Dear boy. Oh, can we? It takes one to know what and this is the best kind of revenge. This is so embarrassing. We can't pay you for this. That's okay. I think it was rather hurtful to me with the last one, the third one, the Erin one. Didn't seem to like me very much and had a bad attitude the whole time I was here. Uncle Santa.

I think that's just her face, sir. Uncle Santa speaking of Aaron, not only can we not pay you, but legally, we can't pay Erin for this episode either. Yeah, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's an L rule. If you don't show up in wave at the credits or whatever, then you don't get paid for the episode either. Yeah, it's like, it's like, it's like an acid elbow. What did Ty think? If you don't show up in wave at the credits or whatever, then you don't get paid for the episode. That's why Pete Davidson has lost $11 million this year. The one time I saw it,

I saw it as an L, the one time I saw it as an L live, I watched Pete Davidson got cut out of two sketches and he was pissed. And I saw the most pissed off Pete Davidson, I've ever seen in my life, standing on stage for like one second, just so we could get his SNL check. It was very funny. That's incredible.

That's smart because yeah, you can't overdose on drugs or pass out or anything. I think it's a, it was in place from like the 70s. Hey, Adam, I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. You certainly can't still do a lot of drugs. You don't, you just have to be standing

to get on that stage. You guys can get on that stage. And I'll tell you what. Yeah, there's a lot of drugs happening on that show. Uncle Santa's never watched NBC, so I can't relate to this conversation. Oh, that's right. A-G-P-C. Oh, oh, oh.

I don't know if you got the publicist packet that Uncle Santa said before time, but we're supposed to, I guess along the way for this episode, due to Uncle Santa's appearance, we're supposed to keep mentioning his new TBS show to Rich Santas. Oh, you did someone say my new TV show to Rich Santas? Okay. Yeah. What's key for Suther's a like? Ooh, hot.

Oh wow. No, I'm temperature wise. He's always burning up. Sure, he's your, he sure didn't get hot-seated, blame. Well, no, but can I tell you something about Keith or Southern? I'd love to hear it.

We wish we you would. No one has had the heart to tell him he's not on 24 anymore. So whenever he's seen, he's always rushing and trying to kill someone. Why isn't it? He's playing one of the Santos, though, correct? Yes. So years, of course, were two rich Santos.'s playing one of the Santas though, correct? Yes, he is.

Of course, we're two rich Santas. So the premise of the show, if what I'm reading is correct from this packet, it premieres next Thursday on TBS in the 2am time slot. And what it is is it's two Santas. Two Santas. They're both real. They're both real.

Oh, real Santas. Full blown Santas. And they live in a condo in Miami condo in Miami And it's following their lives 363 days a year. Yes, two of the days we do not see we don't follow them on Christmas Even Christmas because who wants to watch them work? I'll be honest. I'll be honest, Uncle Santa Those would be two of the biggest days that I'd want to see them work No, no, what do you honest, Uncle Santa. Those would be two of the biggest days that I'd want to see them work. No, no, no, no.

What do you want to see Santa in June? That's the time of here, though. In Miami? In where on a Wednesday, yes, the very same. God, June of Miami, it sounds unbearable. Uncle Santa, can we talk about, I know it says not to in this publicist's packet, but can we talk about your failed game show on USA?

It's in the bag. I'm not sure. I'm sure. That was show on USA? It's in the bag That was the game show it's in the bag was the game show where you would walk around the street You would go up to the common man much like Billy Eichner and you would say what do you want most in the world? That's not a Christmas gift and they would say whatever and then you go Oh, it's in the bag and then they'd look in your big bag and I'm sure enough they would pull out whatever they were looking for And why do you think it failed? Because a lot of people ask for dead relatives and it was in the bag. Honestly, if someone asked me for, you know, a relative, I would not specify dead.

You I would just say who the person was. Yes, that's what I my confusion was. So I thought it was safe for some of them into my bag. But oh, no, no, no, that. That's, I'm responsible for the zombie outbreak in New York City. Yes, that'll buy a dear nephew. Thank you, Uncle Santa. Listen, I'm not a Santa and even I know

the whole reason Christmas works is because you control the magic of the bag and you don't give over control to other people. That's where the game show went wrong was you allowed other people to control the magic, which unleashed chaos? I heard they were all plants. I heard that. I thought I heard it was all like pre-written, which is even more concerning because Santa was pulling corpses out of bags. I also sent a question if I'm wrong, but I also heard it. Uncle Santa. Sorry, we got too familiar.

I also heard that the reason why you were allowed to or able to pull the corpses out of the bags was you can only pull objects out of the bag and once a human being has passed away There husk becomes an object because it doesn't have a soul associated with it. Is that correct? Yes, JPC. Good reading. And what in script did you think I would plan to the old little the demise of my own TV show Just so I could ask to do another key TV show with my favorite actor keeper Sutherland. I don't I don't know I'm just in the subreddit. I speculate like everybody else. I don't know. I don't know for sure Yeah, I just saw Sean walk behind me means he could hear what I'm doing and I'm just wondering what are you thinking? Oh wow.

He just ran to, oh no. Is Uncle Santa sleeping with Sean? Oh no. Oh no. It's canon. Listen Uncle Santa, I did see something on, well it wasn't even a sub-reddit, it was on 4chan. I saw something that said that the only reason

that there's tons of Santaas now in the world is because You pulled several Santas out of the bag so you can pull yourself out of the bag And that's how we got all these other Santas. You know that new Doctor Strange movie sure Oh, yeah, the multitudin march this I wouldn't call it new anymore Yeah, you know that doctor strange movie that came out recently where all the multi-versus and there's a bunch of versions of the same person Yeah, well, I wanted to go see that movie, but I had work to do so I created a bunch of clones for myself If you came out of the release spring Yes, what were you to do with the spring? I'll say it that I had to prepare for this episode of course

Oh I almost forgot I was having so much fun almost forgot we're doing an episode of Hey, Riddler, Riddler. So we all go say, have you prepared Riddles for us today? I suppose I have. Well, have you or have, or did you or did you not? That's just a,

it's a kind of a answer. We really, it's a grinding halt if you don't have Riddles. What you said. Oh no, that's not, that's not a help. I just, just a double check. We're sure cousin elf is not gonna show back up.

I'm sure he'll be back. Maybe after the break. Maybe before I can't control your actions, I can just control how I react to them. That's a really progressive uncle, Tata. Yeah, so none of the elves work for you anymore. You're saying that you are partners with the elves Yes, do I pay them equally? No, but we have a ping pong table and a pool table at work And I pay for lunch one day a week, so what more could they want?

You're describing my time at Groupon Oh funny now you say that the North Pole is very interested in group-pod business practices That's why we hired a bunch of 24 year old improvisers to work for us So you're hung over and they do it bit-sold day. It's exhausting You know what I'll go say to they they maybe want to do a quick Google of how that all worked out for group-pod Okay, I guess it's not on NBC. Anyways, JPC, just quick test. Wait a minute.

Wait a second. What? JPC. Uh huh. Uncle Santage said anyways. Now we all know canonically when Uncle Santage segues, he says, any slaves. That's true.

Any slaves. Oh, oh, I must have missed her. Sorry. Hmm. Weird. Uh, before I read these listeners submitted riddles, I just wanted to ask GPC. Hold on. You sound like you've never seen a S-D-L. You don't want to be an answer from S-N-O.

You know, I was like, I just, did I, me uncle Sandhog get this much criticism last time I was on the show. I don't know It's last time I'll say it was out the show. I don't think he was like Alka said to you. Can you can you say can you say Pete Davidson for me? Can you say musical guests whatever band saying cotton I Joe? Musical guest whatever band saying Kat and I Joe. Musicou guys, whatever band saying Kat and I Joe. Good I, you know what, it wasn't interestingly happening here. What?

What did you just say? You know what is interestingly happening? I came here to teach JPC a lesson about not dropping a shitty bid at the beginning of the show. But what I'm learning is that I must have given JPC a hard to, or Erin must have given JPC too hard of a time in that episode. That is how I'll be learning the lesson. Anyways, these riddles are from Ross. Okay, cool.

We were on a break. Exactly. These, if Erin were here, I'd laugh at her face and say Aaron you sweet sweet You cannot teach JPC a lesson What would you say if I if cousin the elf was here? Well, we'll find out after the break okay Maybe if I decided to do this in the first episode of the day and not the third Maybe if I decided to do this in the first episode of the day and not the third

Does it all peak by the curtain? Just a peek behind the recording schedule curtain I'm way too tired to be pulling this off I'm Uncle Santa Speaking of peek behind a curtain, Uncle Santa, is it true that you turned on the role of the cowardly lion in MGM's Wizard of Oz movie? I did and the guy who took that role into the being so creepy. Do you know that they didn't have to use any makeup on him?

Oh no. What? I know. Look it up. You know, I'm sorry to do this, but I do want to see a quick scene, I'll call Santa. I'd love to see a scene. Of course. I'd love to see your audition for The Wizard of Oz. I'm here to you, David. Oh, yes, go ahead. We loved your energy. You came in very hot.

You could you slate Can she slate to the camera just say if you're willing to shave I'm sorry I'm sorry. I'm just assistant. I don't say my full name Because I don't want to I don't want to edge into a Jeff's territory. If you need them, just say the initial D. D. Yeah, D will understand. Okay, well, my name is Uncle Santa.

Okay. I'm willing to shave, but it'll grow right back just like I'm Tim Allen in the Santa Claus. And I'm auditioning to play Tori in the Wizard of Oz. Who in the what? The Santa... Tori! Let me check my notes here. We... Ow! Here in 1932, we have no movie who is the what the site let me check my notes here we out here in nineteen

thirty two we have no movie starring tim Allen well that i have bad news and bad news uh... you know what you know what what what we we love it we're gonna put you do you mind reading uh... the ten man and we're gonna have you read for the cowardly lion re also not dorthy

oh everything i prepared is oh what do you mean everything you prepared we see we see you three lives for the lion on a one page basically basically what did you prepare? nothing, not somewhere over the rainbow. Kicks shoe on the ground, sort of looks down at feet, shuffles along. I'll read for you.

Sorry, what was she doing? Sorry, what was she doing? We've got a cast. Dorothy and it's going to be Marilyn Monroe's daughter. She's not famous yet. Well, we'll just wait till the movie comes out. Marilyn Monroe isn't even famous yet. All these dinks. All right, I'll read your stupid lives. We'll just wait till the movie comes out. Marilyn Monroe is me even famous here. Oh, this stinks.

All right, I'll read your stupid lives. OK, thank you. And D, you're reading out of the tin man. Reading? Oh, excuse me. I need some oil. Some level, the dooboo. Oh, no. Some are over and over.

Oh, no. It's seen Uncle Santa. Oh, my God. Santa. I am so sorry. You prepared for that role, but you didn't know the lyrics? I did. I think them wrong.

Which one? No. No one goes into. Well, you should have gotten it. You should have gotten it. It's it's a Travesty. Thank you. These are from Ross. These are all like connect riddles. Uh, no, the email says only connect riddles for Aaron. I'm sure she wouldn't mind. Does it hurt when people what, Adel? I was gonna mind does it hurt when people what at all? I was gonna say does it hurt when people describe you as a bowl full of jelly They describe me as what? Well, not you but they do say that your belly is like a bowl full of jelly. Oh, I didn't know that Why are people spreading songs about me? They can be there. No, there's actually a lot of there's a lot lot of body shaming that we've just sort of been okay with for too long

regarding Santa. I don't even think if you watch people watch someone eat like a big bull full of jelly, I don't even think then you can say that that their belly looks like a big full of jelly. No. I think it's a bad thing to say. Unprompted.

Now, if someone says, hey, do you think my belly looks like a big bull of jelly? And then you say, yeah, I think your belly looks like a big bullet jelly and then you say? Yeah, I think your belly looks like a big bullet jelly. I think that's okay because they did ask they asked for it And that's your Fred. Yeah, and uncle Santa if anything. I'm trying to start on a social media I don't know if you know what that is. I'm trying to start a trend where people call you thick. Is it on NBC? No, no No, it's not it's not people can call me thick

I'm thicker like a snicker. I'm thicker than a snicker. Have you like a Chevy? You can rub upon my belly. Hey, hey there you go. Fixanta. I'm fixanta Santa all right All you connect he says only connect Rill's very in but I'm so as you won't mind here are some only connects style Rill's I came up with they were surprisingly fun and hopefully not too obtuse Well, we've had fun making him we just care about solving him. Yeah, Ross You said such nice things to us. Thank you for being so cut all to them to them Ross not mean. I'm not Anyway, Rusted and he built an uncle Santa, he didn't even address you in the email, Uncle Santa.

Oh, but that's okay. You just sounded like a fucking bubble yum commercial. It's six feet of bubble gum for you, not them. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Remember that? Uncle Santa, remember those commercials? No, Uncle Santa was born in 1991. Come on.

Fuck you, like Santa. All right, here we go. 1991 come on Thank you Alright here we go mascot animal scene in a popular UK insurance advertisement Haven't seen a lot of British ads about insurance. I'm gonna say kangaroo. Oh, well, they go up like this kangaroo nope they go oh like this. Can Garou? Nope, they go. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, it's not on NBC. Okay, well, then I'd be familiar with it Oh, those two fellas from college humor. Oh, oh, that's how Santa's laugh I'm laughing at the What you been laughing a lot then? Oh? Yes, all right next one animal scene in the title

Robin Williams party. Oh, yes. Yes, really. Oh, yes What's that Robin Williams party? Oh, yes. Yes, real. Oh, yes, yes. Animal scene in the title of a bad 2019 remake of a 1994 classic. I might also give you another hint. Because it's a title. An animal scene of it.

It's a 1924 classic or 1994 classic. Animal scene in a title animal that is in Narnia and this is also an animal. Yes, it's a lion Oh the Lion King that remake of the Indian film lion starring Deppatel Yes Deppatel's lion. No, what was the lion King? Lion King. Oh, yes, it's just known for lifting up 50 times their body weight ants ants

Uncle's uncles would but they're too busy sitting on taking a break eatin pizza. That's very rude to uncle Santas Actually speaking of sitting down while while ants move. I do want to see a quick scene Okay, but is that okay uncle Santa? I? Want to see a quick scene. Okay, but is that okay? Uncle Santa? I want to see a scene. The two of you are sharks. You have to move. You're moving like a U-Haul to a new place because you have to move every day or I'll still die. If you don't stop moving you die. So this is the two sharks moving. Nobody showed up. My email said pizza and beer, but uh... Yeah, I'm used to this because I have a truck. Damn, damn, damn, damn. Okay, well, uh, you know, I think it's part of this is us because

we ask people to help us move every day and I feel like it is a drain on our friendships. If we actually had a real place and we didn't just have to keep swimming, then I think, I think people would want to help. You know what, why do we just stay put? I'm tired of all this round and round. We will die. If we stay put, we will die. But I can't play freeze tag. My dream. You know, let go of childish things, Shark, okay? No, look, I'll be honest with you. Since we're doing this every day, how about you just tell me,

I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. You gotta let go of childish things, Shark, okay? Now, look, I'll be honest with you. Since we're doing this every day, how about you just downsize some of these books? Do you need all these fucking books? Yeah, my knick knacks. I do, don't get me started on your knick knacks. What is this?

There's a paperweight? Yeah, it's funny. We get it, we get it in a read. Why don't we need a paperweight for it? I don't know, I like having my little stuff around Don't you like to have stuff? No, I'm I'm a minimalist shark. Okay. The only things that I have I don't even mattress have a bear skin rug Worth a magic happens

I like to fuck on a bear it makes me feel powerful like a shark. That is incredible that juxtaposition I have one candle, which cannot get lit because it is wet as hell. And then I have a bug out bag with some clothes. I guess I want to like put a trench coat on or go see a movie. But that's it. That's all I have.

Those are the possessions to my name. Moving for me is simple. Okay, well, sounds like you that's all I have, those are the possessions to my name. Moving for me is simple. Okay, well, sounds like you have it all figured out, but tag your it. See, it took all the willpower in the world to not jump in and say Mariana's trench coat. Mariana's trench coat. I'm really proud of you. Thanks, Uncle Santa. Have you seen my dad?

What? Nothing. So we have Miracat Lion and Ant. Another name for Orcas. Wales. Or Killer Wales. Killer Wales, yes. Well, do you know the link? Because I didn't know the link between these, but I learned something today.

Miracat Lion Lion, Ant, Killer Whales. So Killer Whales are pretty fucking dangerous. Ants, red ants can be dangerous. We've all seen in the energy of the Crystal Skull. Lions or predators? Are Miracats predators? Are these like... No, I think my other hint is I think bees would fall into this...

Yeah, aren't these all like pack animals, like animals that travel in like big groups? A little bit, I like the way you're thinking, but it's more about their leadership. fall into this. Yeah, aren't these all like pack animals like animals that travel in like big groups? A little bit. I like the way you're thinking, but it's more about their leadership. Oh, do they all have queens? Oh, yes, there are matriarchal social structures. Isn't that incredible? Wait, now I thought the lions, I thought lions were patriarchal structures and they like forced all the women to do the hunting and stuff. That could be right. I didn't Google to check this. I think the, I think the, yeah, I think the female lions. I think, I don't know if it's a matriarchal structure, but I knew that the female lions do

like all of the work and like the male lions, the male lions like wait around for other lions to come kill them and then they try their best to like kill the other lion and then if they lose, the new lion gets the free work pack. That's how lions work. Lions are bullshit. The dominant female meerkats is responsible for settling arguments between the other meerkats which sounds very funny. So this subsets me because now I know Timone was did wrong by his pack

and got kicked out. Yeah, yeah. I wonder what he did. Maybe he ate one of the babies or something? I don't know why that, me and Mariah started researching this, but we would a deep dive on bees the other day to like learn about queens. The thing with queens is fucking insane.

The royal jelly they produce? Yeah, the workers have to like make them the Royal Jelly, and if they don't make enough in a certain amount of time, they like, look, this queen dies. Like, we just gotta get this, they like murder the queen, and like, try it, hey, everybody, start tearing up those egg sacks, looking for a new queen. We have like six days before we bug out, go crazy.

We gotta get a new queen installed. That sounds very scary. I wanna eat some Royal Jelly. I want the Royal Jelly so bad. I think you'll like this next round very scary. I want to eat some royal jelly. I want royal jelly so bad. I think you'll like this next round very much. Oh, okay. Current queen of England. Queen Elizabeth.

Elizabeth. Mm-hmm. Well, musician sibling of the King of Pop, Blank Jackson. Mike. Music sibling. Sibbling of Janet Janet mm-hmm, okay Something you might wipe your feet on while entering a house Matt mm-hmm Song attributed to Marty McFly and back to the future

Frank be good. Yes. What is the link? Elizabeth Janet Matt and Johnny. So these all must be like fucking, were these like the names of... Elizabeth, Janet, Matt, and Johnny. Janet, I don't, Janet is like a hard one because I don't know many famous Janet's. Janet from, Janet Varnie, number one, with a bullet.

Janet Varnie, Janet Reno. Janet Reno, and then Janet from Susan Crandon number one with a bullet. Janet Varnie, Janet Reno. Janet Reno and then Janet from Susan Crandon from Rocky Horror Picture Show. Well, one of those is right. Are these all hosts of Hey Riddle of Riddle? Yes, they're all guests. They've all guested on Hey Riddle of Riddle. Oh, that's right.

Yeah. Johnny and Merr. It'll be the Andrew. It'll be the Andrews, okay? There's this. Very fun. Very fun. And this is still from Ross.

Yes. Well, you're amazing. It's just Ross. It's a little insight into when these would maybe be written. Yes, exactly. Interestingly, we're going to go on a break. And if I- Just like Ross, just like Ross.

We were on a break. And I need to really reflect on who's really being punished here by me playing Uncle Santa. Is it something big butters? Is it something like intended? Or is it Aaron? Or more likely it's you or our dear listener. Or Addle. I think we're all losing here.

Let's go on a break. But we all know it's not Cuss and Elf. He's back! Can you punish a dog by rolling the window down too much? Ha ha ha. Wait, wait, wait, you're a brick, a brick, a brick, a brick. Oh, man. Yeah.

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This is their best offer yet, and it will not last long, with Helix better sleep starts now Go ahead and give her the Academy a snore the snore Academy a snore, you know what? Academy is gnaw Glint close to falling asleep. That's why Yeah, I got that a lot

Hey, Adelhey Aaron, I got a bone to pick with the two of you Sure, yeah, I wore the skeleton outfit just because I figured this was coming. Happy Halloween a few months early. It's not yet the... What is it? So you know how the two of you, I was like, guys, I am always so hungry for lunches and dinners and the like and you, jokers told me, oh, JPC, it's okay. All you have to do is take some, you know, American paper currency, tape it to your front door, close the door, and then wait until someone brings you food.

Well, I kept opening the door, and the money was gone. So I had to tape more money to my door. I think you didn't work at all. Oh, door cash. Oh, door cash. Yeah, you did, door cash. We told you door dash is the number one thing to you. What the hunk?

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I just got those from DoorDash and they were on my porch within 20 minutes and it's very dangerous because they're delicious. Did you fill your belly and your pantry? Uh, yes. Did you fill your backpack? I did. Okay, well then DoorDash has come again for the gold. I remember distinctively the stress of going back to school and going from store to store to get all my favorite snacks and pencils and pencil cases and all the things that I needed me and my siblings. And I remember how stressed my mom was and I know that she would have loved to have Door Dash.

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That one didn't work. That one's bad. Hey, JPC. Yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm pranking Atal. And I'm sending up a website to prank him.

I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm pranking at all and I'm setting up a website to bring them. Okay. I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stay in doubt and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy

to create a beautiful website. It engaged with your audience and said let me think for products to cut into time all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Edel, come here. Come here. Come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank GPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have any thing that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace you can have custom merch, you can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving

you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna shoot you. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from.

That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my Prank website to Prank's activity. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for?

I can't remember what the website was for. Yeah, the website was for. Prank. With Squarespace. Yes, I did. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC.

What's up, Madel? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey Aaron Erin. Hey, Erin. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how?

I don't know. Oh Ho ho ho have you been good? Do you deserve more riddles young JPC and young Addle and don't forget cousin elf in my catchphrases he he he Well, little sticker we're out of bread. Wait hold on hold on hold on Because enough just that his catchphrase was he he he and then he added I'm a little sticker Which is obviously the his catchphrase was he he he he and then he added I'm a little sinker which is obviously the better catchphrase. Well, I have two catchphrases because I lead with he he he he because when I say I'm a little stinker people say that's Bugs Bunny's thing and I say now I used to date Bugs Bunny and

he stole it from me. Anyways we ran out of bread. I think because of the LED with that he was, hey, this is my catchphrase called the shot. So no one would call about the eyeball a little sinker thing. Cousin Elf, I think I have a little sinker is the better catchphrase. I'll say that. Okay.

Thank you. You're welcome. Use it. Try it. I'm a little stinker. I love it. Head down to the store. Here's a 20.

Go watch a movie if you need. Cousin Elf, go have fun. We'll see you later. I Elvap, go have fun. We'll see you later. I'm gonna buy cigarettes. Alright. I wish someone would give me $20 so that I didn't have to do the show. Nope. Okay, Barnyard, these are still from Ross, who's amazing at writing these. Thank you, Ross. Barnyard, Animal, Scene, Jumping, Over the Moon. That would be the cow. That's the cow jump something in there. Yeah, I know that because I saw the movie rent.

Hey, little, little. Yes, little, little. Hey, can I say something real quick? About the movie rent. And not about the movie rent. About the movie, take a take, boom. Yes. I watched that whole fucking movie.

And we got maybe, there was like 15 minutes left of the movie and I paused it. And I saw there's only 15 minutes left I go when is this guy gonna write fucking rip when is this guy gonna do it and where I go he doesn't do it in the movie it's a whole movie about the guy who didn't rent and he never writes the fucking movie you wrote tick tick boom before you know rent and don't get a shit about that be about how we wrote rent when not actual musical tick to boom was written before rent you're all turned around

Here's the idea if you're gonna write rent right rent, okay? Don't be fucking around right and shit. That's not right. Make it be watch a social network If you would if he created Facebook he would have created Facebook I thought it was I thought tick tick boom was about the guy who wrote to is it P.O.D. Tiktok tick tick tick boom. Jonathan Larson was the singer for P.O.D. as well. Was that a Kevin James movie tiktok boom? I think it was where he came say you have C fighter. Arguments are guarding whether LeBron or Jordan are the term are this term can get heated.

Go go go. This one made me laugh not whose name sound similar to a sneeze. Cashew. Cashew. How did you know that? That's good that's good. He got that quick. That's a play on words. Arseneck is said to taste like bitter blank. bitter Arseneck is said to taste like bitter liquor. Did you say old lace? Yeah Arseneck and old lace. Like bitter liquor. Did you say old lace? Yeah, I saw it right? Yeah, I saw it right.

Like the play. Have you ever seen that play or heard that play? No. Is it a movie? I don't remember. They might be. Anyways. Ars, here's a thing Aaron.

I've never tasted arsenic. You haven't, you're not living, pal. I've taken my nephew out in the town and we're going to try it tonight. I've never had a dinner to try our dinner. I've never had a dinner to try our dinner. I've never had a dinner to try our dinner. I've never had a dinner gonna try it tonight. I'm living in a good, sober. Yeah. No, but you shouldn't know what it tastes like because if you taste arsenic, you should be like, oh, that's arsenic.

So we should know what it tastes like. Bitter, is it like bitter licorice, bitter lemons, bitter. It's kind of nut. Kind of nut, bitter almonds. Yes. Whoa, arsenic tastes like bitter almonds. Oh, these are off-cheeses. Oh these are all cheeses or

Milks yes Good job and allow send you an extra five dollars in the mail for your birthday Oh, I was gonna say that's the uncle part of you though not the Santa part. I'm not just a Santa I'm also an uncle You're wearing a sweater, we see it. It's very ugly. All your sweaters are ugly. Erin and Uncle Santa. Uncle Santa. Well, technically both, but she's not here, so I feel bad saying it. There's only Uncle Santa. There's only one sweater that Aaron wears that is worth commenting on. Oh, we would say. I think they're all worth commenting on. Aaron, you look

nice today. Is that so hard? Shit, okay. Unbelievable. He got us there. Well, when you do it, what is Aaron? Uncle Santa, why don't you say that to Aaron? let's give her a call let her rest she's resting wait how do you know she's resting she's right behind me I can see her she's sad to sleep oh that's why Sean's there that's why Sean's there you're using Aaron's podcast set up of course okay okay she might be my enemy but she'd never leave me high and dry anyways. She's here. I thought you liked her. No, well I Like the people who like you is my advice. She does not like me. Got it got it got it got it all right Informal to letter greeting first recorded in the middle ages. Yo from Ross Hi, I Yo! So from Ross. That's where. Hi. Hi!

Adelio Genius! Muah, muah! Yo! You're perfect. We're so proud to have you in the family. Oh. Both of us are both on the mouth. Yes.

Different family than my family. Not judgey get just middle-istered. Different family. Iconic phrase exclaimed in many iterations of the Frankenstein story. It's. Friend. It's fire. It's getting Frankenstein story. It's... Friend. It's fire. It's getting hot in here. It's getting hot in here. It's...

K-Mix. A live. Dr. Frankenstein makes Frank guess you wrote a live. It's a live. All right. It's a living. That's what Frankenstein says. It's a living.

Brown red colored, taking its name from the French word for chestnut. Brown red color. Brown a reddish, darkish, reddish color. Root. Auburn. Keep guessing. Oh, college. It's a college.

Um, darkish, reddish color. Hey, no, not hazel. That's reddish green. It's like 5,000 different shades of red. I'd say focus on like, just sort of a dark red dark red Burgundy a little bit purpley burgundy's closest. Oh, what's your Future no fuchsia. Oh, that's good. No, it's a little bit more red

More red. It's like we're at a fucking paint store. I'm like, I don't know what I'm making It's like we're at a fucking paint store and I'm like I don't know what I Oh Yeah, magenta no no magenta no maroon Yes, you've got Dear boy, these are all fives high five wait for me to say the last one 2010 Adam a K buddy cop film starring will Barrel the other Five no guys

Damn it now what is the thing that links them all at number five so we have them five five Five alive. I know is the catchphrase from the movie short circuit Johnny five is alive but five alive might also be like a energy drink or something maroon five famous band fronted by Adam Levine and Five guys which is very good burger place. And fries. And some great fries in those brown bags. I think they do peanut oil there, right?

So if you have peanut allergies, Uncle Santa stay away from that. Oh, Uncle Santa has many allergies. The only thing I can eat is Christmas. You can only eat Christmas. Well, I'm not. Uncle Santa, Uncle Santa, you can even get through that. You is Christmas. You only Christmas? Well, not Christmas. Uncle Santa, Uncle Santa, you can even get through that. You eat Christmas.

Oh, I think I can eat is Christmas cookies, hot cocoa, milk, and that's it. Honestly, Uncle Santa, you and Aaron would get along because you also, you kind of have a lot in common. He hates me. She hates me. She hates me. There's no song she fucking hates me. Isn't that song? She fucking hates me. Yeah, I mean, maybe, but I don't know, Uncle Santa.

I think there's room for, I think there's room for improvement in that relationship. Uncle Santa, just because my thirst for information, does it say in that email what Five of Life is? No, but a Five of Life. Uncle Santa can Google it because that's not NBC. I bet it's like a UK candy bar or something

That's see live it could be five alive. Yeah, because Johnny five is alive is a bit of a stretch I think for that. Yeah, I think I think oh it is. Oh you're right with energy drink maybe I think that's a juice box You weird Silly goose's people in England are so weird. I skip right over them on Christmas. Oh really? Yes, I'm a little drunk so I'll admit it. I've never been to England. Wow. The entirety of England? Yes. Never been. They have all those Christmas crackers, which is maybe the dumbest thing I've ever. That's what I'm worried. Gemma loves Christmas crackers I think

Uncle Santa what about Northern Ireland and how do you feel about unification? Speak of the Catholics at the proudest in so-called Santa yeah and Margaret thatcher was They both celebrate Christmas Margaret thatcher the Christmas lady celebrate Christmas so I won't complain. Mark that you're the Christmas lady. The Christmas lady. Oh boy. Uncle Santa do we have any more only connect?

We have plenty. These are the last ones from Ross. Thank you dear Ross. Hey Ross, dress for less. I said that earlier. Great. It's a callback. It's a callback.

Oh the kind? If I wasn't listening to you, it was a callback. It's a callback. Oh, the kind. If I wasn't listening to you, it was a callback. The kind of ocean predator Bruce is in finding Nemo. Valanche. Dern. Dern. No. Great actor though.

What's the Bruce? Is he a shark? Yes, I really wish you would have said that Marriott is philich. He's a moving shark. No, the what? have said that Mariana's philich. He's a moving shark. No, what? Great white. Yes. Okay. Oh, so is the answer. Sorry, is the uncle Santa's answer shark or great white? Great white shark. Great white shark. Great white shark. No three rhyme characters who agreed to have a battle over spoiled brand new rattle. They're from ours in Wonderland. Oh,

Tweedle-D and Tweedle-Dum. Yes. Wow. Good poll. Methodological figure cursed with having his liver eaten by an eagle every day. That happened to me once. Oh, God. Who is this? I just read about this and if you haven't read the book, Cirque, it is amazing. C-I-R-C-E, by Madeline something, but that books phenomenal. Just read about it in that. It's not specific, because he's got the big old fucking rock. He's the bolder guy. It's not what's the, what's the, it's not

Prometheus, right? It is. It is. It is. He was born by the mountains to the people. We're so proud to have you in the family, JP. Again, on the mouth is just not how I've done it. But somewhat else's uncle is also odd. Okay, you ready for the next one? Sure. Type of North American snake noted for to reddish color head. Copperhead?

Yes, you got it. Now, this one, they said is bullshit, because it's too deep of cut. Yes, you got it. Now this one they said is bullshit because it's too deep of cut. Is that for the fourth one is the full answer copper or copperhead. Copperhead. Copperhead. So it's great white shark Prometheus. Tweetle copperhead and Tweetle D and Tweetle Dumb. Are these like prequels that didn't need to be made? I get on the right track. Okay. So Prometheus is from Alien. Great white shark. I don't know. Copper head. I didn't know this one. I had to look it up. Tweedle and Tweedle number from Allison Wonderland. Tweedle, Tweedle, Dumb. So they would have been okay. Okay, okay, okay. Maybe there's all these

all things that an alien has been in no, but you're kind of close This is they've all they're all from one franchise their deep cut characters from one franchise These are deep cut characters from one a comic book franchise. Oh Fables no their comic book franchise name is super hero So it's a suit these are these all like enemies? Oh, these Batman villains? They're Batman villains, I know. That's it. Wow.

A previous only connector had Batman villains in the answer. And this one is probably too obscure, but there had to be one bullshit villain here. You're right, Ross. Ho, ho, ho, someone out there listening will know it, and they'll be screaming at wherever they find podcasts. We did this on the Patreon when Thomas Sanders was on, where I listed some like characters from Moonnet,

its rogue's gallery, and it had you guys try to guess if they were real or not. It is insane. The chain smoking that was done in 1977, we're just a group of white men, we're like, what about a guy whose name is like Mr. Punch Man? They're like, I think we're gonna use him for Batman? They're like, I think we already use him for Batman.

They're like, use him again. Dr. Accountant. Ha ha ha. Scarity Cat. I know that there's King Shark in Batman, and that is famously played by Ron Funches in the Harley Quinn animated show. Famously played by the

Harley Quinn animated show. Famously played by the Harley Quinn animated show. Famously played by the Great Voice, that guy. Great Voice, that Harley Quinn, huh? Oh yeah. What a voice, Mr. Batman! Oh, Mr. Batman! What a voice I got!

Oh, now I'll be Mark Hamill. Yes, I'll be. Very good. That's very nice. I would like to see a scene. Okay. Please don't tell me it's between hardly quitted Batman because we kind of just milked that for all it was worth.

No, no, no. You two are at a comic con type convention and you're running into someone who plays a obscure villain in something and you're pretending to know who he is. JPC, you'll be the villain, Adel, you'll be the one being so polite pretending that you know who he is. Hello, hello. Hi. How's it going? I saw you looking. Oh, did you want to picture with me in my pickle rick outfit? I'm sorry?

I'm pickle rick, bitch. It's kind of a mashup of pickle rick and... I noticed you staring at me while I was walking over here, so I thought I'd been doing this a long time, and I thought I'd just come over and say hello, and you know if you want a picture Oh, it's you Oh my god, wow, you're such a British. Thank you My character as a British accent, that's right. Yeah, I do not I'm from

You're from Connecticut that's right. That's right. The old CT well, can I? Oh, you're putting your armor on me. I guess look at can we get a selfie? Can I get a selfie? Is that cool? Absolutely. Yes. It's that one's very cool And let me so I want to make sure I tag you on the so Shaggy me go ahead and tag me right now if you wouldn't mind Yeah, and what's your handle? It's just it's's name. I keep one from me, and you could do that one as well. I feel like such an idiot. I'm so bad at spelling.

Could you spell your character's name just as? It's genetic. It's just how it sounds. Oh. You're overthinking it if you think you're spelling it wrong. Because it's very easy. It's very easy. Got you.

I guess I should say it's i-e, not e i but oh you would know that yeah, so it's i e Not i i Okay, so there's no c in your name. We all know that I'm sorry. There's no c in your name. Oh, no There's no c. Yes, of course. Sorry. That's a joke. It went over your head. There's no it must Hey, you know, see your name. That's it. I've been hanging out with some pirates and that's like a joke They do people dress as pirates I Eat you go ahead and just post it whenever you're ready. Oh, and did you want an autograph? I could I don't I truly don't mind. There only 15 that would be amazing and please block letters

They're 15 and then it's a 15 15 for an autograph for my autograph. Yes, unless you want it on Matt That's glossy Matt is 25. No, Matt's grabbing nachos Just on the on the head shot would be fine another one must be good over my head Yeah, I guess I guess it's worth it. I only have a 50. Do you have change? I Don't but I can give you two and a half autographs. Oh just like the TV show Well, what why don we, real legible, because I have my eyes, or... Sorry, I've got an actor's pitmanship as they say.

I've seen. Perfect. All right, I'm hungry. And hold on, JVC, what was your villain? I think it was the shield. Ha, ha, ha, ha. So, corrupt, corrupt ball police officer One more batch today these we'll go a little faster because they're just all the answers

So it's not questions that you have to answer and then find the connection So we'll just be finding the connection between these four words. These are from Jake H. Hehim from San Diego Hillin Hall Baby I'm a day one fan and the three of you never failed to brighten up my week. Guys do amies including Uncle Santa and those. Well then who's not big included? Aaron of course! Okay, okay.

I'm comfortable with that. Jake said very sweet things about the show. Thank you so much for listening Jake. We really appreciate you writing these riddles and being so kind. Here's the first one. Princess, pear. Cushion, emerald. You writing these riddles and being so kind. Here's the first one princess pair Cushion emerald Princess pair cushion emerald what are the connections between those three?

Oh, oh, oh, are these all like cuts of diamonds? You're genius Wow Emerald cut cushion cut It's like this someone's body engagement ring It's you why about a engagement ring? I know wedding ring. Oh my goodness. He's a genius. Oh, oh shit I'll say I'm buddy. What are you still at the North Pole or where you at? Oh? Are you still at the North Pole or where are you at? Oh no, I'm in Chicago and maybe I'm in the lake. Oh okay, so I sent you a wedding invitation and it must have got lost in the mail.

I have all my North Pole mail forwarded to me. Oh weird, yeah I just got married, I'm so sad you weren't there. Oh did you alope and no one was there? Sort of. JBC were you there? Oh my god, um, you know what I just did, as I just chopped my own fucking leg off. Oh my god. Yeah I live close to JVZ so I better leave and go that's not that close. It's too it I I'm gonna do this immediately

But a bit of it that'll well actually that might Well, actually that might have a word, might a suture. Horse, snow, boat and tennis. Oh, these are all types of cocaine. Yes, my dear boy. Snort some horse, horse, snow, boat and tennis. Yes. These are all types of bracelets. Yeah, I was just saying horse bracelets.

These are all types of girls. Horse girl, snow girl, boat girl, tennis girl. These are all things that make a racket. Horse, snow. That's a good one. That's a tennis racket, a horse's racket. Horse, snow, snow. Snow and tennis, definitely, rackets.

Boat, tennis. I like this one a lot. Okay. So we got horse, snow, boat, and tennis. All types of what? Okay, okay, shoes. Yes, shoes, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, boots, shoes, boots, boots, shoes, boots, boots, boots, shoes, boots, boots, shoes, boots, shoes, boots, boots, boots, boots, shoes, boots, boots, boots, boots, boots, boots, shoes, boots, boots, shoes, boots, boots, boots, boots, shoes, boots, boots, boots, boots, shoes, boots, boots, boots, boots, boots, shoes, boots, boots, boots, shoes, boots, boots, boots, boots, boots, boots, boots, boots, boots, boots, boots, boots, boots, boots, boots Wosh, Jeff Rose and Link. These are all characters in Zelda. Yeah. You kill Wosh right away.

Hey, it's me, Jeff Hyrule. Uh... You're saying Jeff Hyrule? Yeah, who rules Jeff Hyrule? Sorry. So, Wosh, Jeff, Rose and most last one. Link. Link.

These are all the first name of a famous pilot No, they're all the first syllable of a name Washington Jeffington Rosington Lincoln, yeah, you're got it kind of people Holy shit. I've never seen someone get it so right and so wrong at the same time. How is it right for wrong? Because you have I Think you have the second part is wrong the second part the second part of the first answers right you got all the right What so you have the right idea Washington and then that's right? Yes And then Jeffington no, but oh Washington Jefferson Washington, Washington, Washington, Jeff

It's oh these are all presidents. This is Roosevelt Lincoln. I yeah, yeah, it's a first four letters of 10 rows favorite moment for the middle I want to see you see I want to see. Okay. Okay. Abraham Lincoln. JPC and Uncle Santa, you're both presidents.

You're hanging out at the president's club or whatever that is. Sure. And you each have kind of pet names for each other, a little nicknames for each other. And for the other president. Got it. Why if it isn't Mr. Who Be Over There, Herbert Hoover? Who Be, Who Be, Who Be, Who Be, Who Be be who be who be who be who who's gonna cause the great depression Ah, you son of a gun if it is a teeth in all my man Taffy tap

Oh yes me of course Tiff, tiff, tiff How have you been old friend? Yeah, of course. Tiff, tiff, tiff. How have you been old friend? Well, I've been good. By the way, I gotta say thank you. I called your custom bathtub guy

and he did a fantastic job. I figured as much. Oh, look who's walking over here. Uh-oh. Look who it is. Hey, it's me, shit. The regster, reggaegae captain reggae run run Mr. Jelly beans himself

It's Jimmy Carter See my brother was a potato farmer all right last one I think mr. J. G. H. Stick Jesus bun and soft Stick Jesus. These are all types of serve. No. Can I get some Jesus served vanilla? So stick Jesus bun and what's last one?

Soft. Soft. All types of what? Oh, these are all banks. No. There's a thing called a Jesus lizard or these all types of lizards. Focus more on the other three I'd say. Okay, bun heads is a TV show. lizard or these all types of lizards focus more on the other three I'd say okay Bun heads is a TV show so it's all types of heads Jesus head

Probably the most helpful oh these are things babies heads are Soft cheese soft pretzel oh Pretzel Jesus yes I hope you enjoy these as much as I had fun solving them. I hope you enjoy these and had as much fun solving them as I did making them. Thanks again for everything. Oh. Well, speaking of pretzel Jesus.

What the fuck, my eyes are... what is this light? Zip! It's me, pretzel Jesus. We're dead to be uncle's hands in the whole time. Wow. What a twist. Nacho, cheese, cinnamon sugar. Another type of pretzel, pretzel twist.

I'm pretzel Jesus. Or am I zip? It's a little monkey bones. A little monkey bones? I hate it. I thought GPC and this. I'm a monkey bonk. Settle it up for us a little monkey bones.

I want your fingers. Choc. It is choc. It's not bananas. Half an anus, half choc. I'm a monkey bones. It is Chock! It's not bananas? What happened to it is a chock! I'm a monkey bones! Love you! Little monkey bones have been seen in the movie monkey bones?

Is it? You've got me! I'm Dr. Cabeleon! You're an emphasis and best friend! Are you guys hang out right now? Oh, this is why you couldn't move your arms because you've been wearing like, stuff and layers of... ...gust to you. Hold on, which is exactly what Chandler does in my favorite episode of Friends.

It could I be anywhere, any more favorite of a little character? Chandler! It was Chandler the whole time. Are you doing a free-girl thing? Bing, bbing, bing, bing. I thought Adelaide was doing a free-sfrig. Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. Anything to vlog? I'm Chandler. B-girl sing B-bing B-bing B-ing I thought Adelaide was doing a freeze-frapping B-bing B-bing B-bing B-bing B-ing Anything to vlog? I'm Chandler

Thanks Chandler What? What a ride Uh-oh Oh, he just took off his shirt Wow, he's got his wet and wet Massey Perry, can you put that shirt back on please? It's me! Coco cash me

Just kidding, it's me Chandler Good idea Chandler. Good. I get it. You got to get more hair and a little character. Chandler is the right one to end on. I just got to get it right. You would have bought you more in the time where it takes you guys to plug things. I'm still Chandler after all these years.

And Chandler, can I just say, I think on behalf of JPC myself, Aaron and Uncle Santa, Santa, whoo, I guess wasn't really here. Chandler, I just want to apologize for I read the paper the other day. I saw the NBC canceled your game show Bing sings. It what? Oh, I thought that's why you I thought that's why you were channeling so much raging in the V.C. No, no, no. Why did you mention Ross earlier? I was like, Oh my God. Oh, and Chandler, I'm sorry for all the times in this episode that we said that we would Google something of course

We met that we would be being it of course. Yeah, I wanted to tell you guys the whole time I was like I'm Chandler. I'm Chandler. I'm Chandler or ask Phoebe. Wow. This is so embarrassing Hey speaking of embarrassing here's some five star reviews that people have left for Hey Riddle rental If you want to get your review featured on a future episode of Hey Riddle rental Just go to iTunes and leave a five star of you can put anything you want in there and off to read it, like this one that comes from $7,776, 10th of morning drive. I look forward to Wednesdays. I bet my fellow work commuters think I'm crazy when they look over and see me cry and laughing with my little schnails or staring back at them as you guys do your thing on my radio. Also, I

think I would be add-al if I were to play the Riddle crew with my friends. Hey, there's a thing that I can't advocate that you do. Uh, do not play Rital crew with your friends. That does not sound like something you should be doing. I'm working on it. Daring back at the other trifers. Okay, this one comes from live-child, live-child rights. Amazing.

Aaron Kay is the highlight of the show. A beautiful human being. Hilarious and so talented. On the occasion, she sings, she sounds like a Disney princess. Oh my god. Her life is lovely and brightens my day. There are two other hosts that they're funny too, but I came here for Aaron and you should as well. Chandler, what do you think of that review? I think after today that review is gonna mysteriously change.

Okay, here's the next one. This comes from DJ Eshenshrotor. This is great podcast, definitely listen, yada yada. Okay, for the actual important part, JPC. I wanna see a scene where you have to reveal to Adel and Aaron that you only have this podcast, a two star review and why. Thanks, Dory, you guys know the content, PS, go sub to their Patreon. Well, listen up, dumbass.

You wrote that you have this podcast, a two star review. Maybe next time, spell check your fucking review before you send it. You dumb piece of shit I'll see you seen when you learn how to fucking tight. Wow. You're making a scene. All right, add all anything that you have the plug No, I see my time out of fear Check out hello from the magic tavern in their patreon lots of great content over there are Yeah, the hey tavern tavern which is Aaron's favorite thing

She's ever recorded with the two of you's over on that patreon. It's a bunch ofler. Yeah, the Hay Tavern Tavern, which is Aaron's favorite thing. She's ever recorded with the two of you. It's over on that Patreon. It's worth it. So don't you that? Yeah. It's great. It's really funny. Oh, Aaron and Chandler, we're so good friends.

We hang out. Oh, and if you're listening to this on the day that it comes out, then that means that we have a live show this Sunday, June 12th at 7.30 and 10 pm. There's a late show as well. And if you can't see it live in LA, you can watch the stream of the live show, which will be available all throughout the world. And I think you can watch it up to like 72 hours later. Anyway, if you wanna get tickets,

just go to www.hairdoverdowardle.com slash live. Hey Chandler, your show ended like I wanna say maybe 20 years ago at this point, 17. What have you been doing since then? Have you been, like, visiting any other places? Have you been, like, staying somewhere? Jupiter. Oh.

Could I be any further away from her? By forever. Five. Starting, eruditing, and job Patrick Cohen. Casey told me to be editing. have already parried to the music. We've been playing the music. We've been playing the music. We've been playing the music.

We've been playing the music. We've been playing the music. We've been playing the music. We've been playing the music. We've been playing the music. We've been playing the music. We've been playing the music. We've been playing the music. That was costing. I regret it. I regret it so much. I'm so sorry. In my head, this was such good revenge. And it really is just me hurting my whole body by doing this. Oh, and I'm

very upset because now this sets a precedent where I have to step into this mantle. Yeah, I'm so sorry. Yeah. Hey, there, Andrews and Garfields. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. It's another New Games jamboree, and JPC has some brand new games to try out. You can listen to that, plus our entire Batcadilog at patreon.com, so I'll show you where it'll rental, but you're running the clue crew for $5 a month or the review crew for $8 a month. Any good at free episodes? See you there! That was a headgun podcast.