Hey Riddle Riddle - #207: I Don’t Zinc So!
Episode Date: July 6, 2022Let’s get to the fun stuff-listener submitted riddles! This week the crew will guess the font, endure a bad interview, and follow the adventures of The Great Sir Cum. We also play a voicemail where ...we ALL learn a thing(not two). Have a great week! Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Editing by: Casey Toney Theme by: Arne Parrott Logo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267 Chicago, IL, 60634 Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531) Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a head gum podcast
This is Aaron's
So sit back relax hands off episode baby. This is all you
Can't wait to see what you cooked up soup flames dial you have to help
You have to help all the dishes air at. No, what? I'll do dishes. Eric, I'll do dishes for the episode.
And I will sweep.
OK, fine.
I'll sweep the episode on another rug afterwards.
Let's get started.
Shoot on a block of ice.
I told you to step work on the fish.
It was the cabin of an airplane.
It's happened with an oxygen plate.
And the worst thing is Friday. What's it?
What's it?
What's it?
What's it?
What's it?
What's it?
What's it?
What's it?
What's it?
What's it?
What's it?
What's it?
What's it?
What's it?
Let's get started.
So no one has an idea for the opening. Do you ever one here that silence at home?
Did you hear it?
We're including the silence.
I said, let's get started.
No one has an idea for an opening.
Well, to be fair, JbZ and I were, I think we thought we were doing the opening.
Yeah, we did it opening and then Aaron let a long pause happen and then said let's get started.
And so I guess all of it stays in.
History will remember differently.
Ow.
Hi everybody.
Ow.
I don't know.
Hey, hello.
I'm Hey Riddler Riddler.
I'm Aaron Keith.
This is Hey Riddler Riddler.
That's GPC and that's Addle.
Hi boys.
Part of it. Hello.
Hi.
Hello, Aaron. I would just like to go ahead and say I am JPC. I may legally distinct entity
for purposes of Texas and assassinations. If you are trying to kill the podcast,
it is like a hydrant with three different heads and I've been legally distinct head.
And my name is Anorify and I can say no more information due to my lawyer trying to
get me to protect myself because I blab too much.
Oh great, this is going to go great.
You're a real blabber mouth.
So your lawyer, your lawyer is not my lawyer.
My lawyer is worth. Yeah. Actually is my lawyer? My lawyer's words.
Yeah.
Actually, my lawyer's kind of rude.
That's not good.
That gets a lot either.
There's a good attitude.
A good attitude.
Who's that?
Aaron, can I ask you, um, what are the, since you've moved out to LA, what are the, what
are the three best things about the world?
No, no, no, no, I mean, no, I don't think we could find one good thing about the world right now.
Yeah, three, the three best things about LA.
The mountains.
The camaraderie about how shitty driving is here.
And tacos.
Fuck yeah, I think that that's a pretty, that's a pretty good, that's a pretty solid thing. And tacos. Fuck.
Yeah, I think that that's a pretty good.
That's a pretty solid thing.
And tacos, come ruddery and mountains.
Um, one of the three best things about Chicago.
Well, I mean, the weather's been insane.
I don't know if that's a plus or minus, but the weather's been absolutely crazy.
Oh, Chicago weather.
Oh, then Chicago weather.
Number two, living so close to JPC, we're gonna have a little board game night tonight. We're gonna miss you, Aaron. What are you gonna play? Starts to pack suitcase, rushes to the airport,
refuses to be left out of anything. Realize you only pack silverware.
And grateful that's exactly what I mean.
We're going to play Quacks of Quiddlingberg.
Is that the name of it?
Yeah, that's a favor.
That's an end of it.
Uh, James and I.
Very fun.
Okay, well, you guys have obviously nothing to talk
about. So I'll go ahead and say it.
There is a full-on war with the millipedes at my house.
That is right.
The bee and the millipedes are at war.
Oh, no.
The millipedes are military grade peeds.
Yeah, these are peeds.
These are peeds with the full funding
of the United States State Department
and Pentagon up on them.
Oh, no.
Yeah, $700 billion budget on these,
that's probably more than that, on these millipedes.
Millipedes are not harmful in any way.
And I did look up, because I have millipedes in my basement.
And I was like, what are these millipedes doing on my basement? What other responses was, hey, because I have millipedes in my basement. And I was like,
what are these millipedes doing on my basement?
What other responses was,
hey, there's millipedes in your basement.
These are outside bugs.
They're probably lost.
And I lost it at the fact that they were like,
a bug could be lost.
That's so funny.
If a bug could be lost,
then it's whole life is being lost.
Debra?
Debra?
There's no way a bug's not always lost.
There's no way it should's not always lost hair.
It's like, where should I not be walking on marble?
This is not a good sign.
Oh God, this is stainless steel.
Let's get the fuck out of here, Janine.
Okay, I'm a bug.
I should not be on stainless steel.
You know the millipede turns to other millipedes
and it's like, guys, wow.
Oh wait.
Can I ask, JPC, is this like a house centipede?
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No. No.
No.
No.
No. No.
No.
No. No. No. No. No. their leg joints work, but millipedes do kind of look more like snakes. They're very long and they're very, very slow. I have no problem with the millipedes. The millipedes and I,
we don't need to, it doesn't need to come to blows me in the millipedes. We're all good
me in the millipedes, but they're very slow and they just like-
I'm very long and very slow and I don't deserve to be killed in a basement.
That's gonna be your obituary.
They crawl across the floor and more times than not, more often than not.
I accidentally just step on them because they're just slowly crawling across the floor
and then I got a clean up with the millipedes.
That's insane.
I've only seen millipedes and pictures.
I've never seen one in real life.
Maybe I'll come over and see one.
Like, I have pictures you made in cinema, right?
Yes, in cinema. I've only seen them in the movie pictures.
But we have at our house we have, I guess, what's called house synopedes.
Yeah, that's the thing.
And those things are terrifying.
Their legs are super long, so they're actually quite wide
if you count their legs.
And they move real fast.
But I think everyone is always like, don't kill them.
They kill other bugs. And I'm always like, like, don't kill them, they kill other bugs.
And I'm always like, I'd rather deal with the smaller bugs
than deal with these smaller fuckers.
Me and the house synopedes,
who I have no problem with as well,
we have our little rule, and you get two.
I will throw you in a corner,
and the corner is where you get underneath the ground,
and that's where you go.
I'll do that twice.
If your ask pops out that third time, you're gone.
Yeah, you get two, I throw you in the corner.
Those guys are cool because in Philippines
are the same that they don't like fuck with people
and they don't have like, they don't bite you really.
But those house Philippines, the way that they kill
other pugs is they kick them to death with their legs.
And I'm like, that's real?
I've never seen it, but if you like Google about them
and you like, you know, research like,
what are these things do though?
Like don't worry they they're usually pretty
Like your search history is pretty wild right now
He's sharing screen it says here Jean-Claude Van Damme
So you're just looking up Jean-Claude Van Damme who kills people with his kicks the wild thing about every bug that I've ever
Come across in a in a in my house or apartment at home
You always see the bug,
you Google it, and the first thing that it says is like, hey, actually, this bug is fine,
and like, there's no reason to kill this bug.
It's, with the exception of like a termite, they're like, okay, the termite will eat your
house.
That, that may be as wrong, but most bugs are like, this bug's actually great because it
needs the other bugs, but if every bug eats the other bugs, eventually I'm just running
like a bug buffet in my fucking house where all the bugs just come into each other and suck and and fucking and like living it up
And it's like eventually I have to say enough as enough guys. You got to do it somewhere else
You don't have to change the way that you are. I appreciate you, but you can't do it here closing time
I love that you suck it. I'm closing time
Under my roof. I love to have the bugs suckered and fucking all day long but they can't suck and fucking old JPCs coming
Great crazy story JPC I lost my rights this week
Big week for you big week for me
Aaron you lost those last week you absolutely have to pay up but at the right that things are going
You will have lost more rights on the week that this comes out. So that's good news.
But sorry about that millipede situation.
Can I tell you,
can I tell you my favorite part about that ruling,
my absolute favorite part about that ruling?
One of the only Supreme Court rulings
that they didn't leave the door open for
was interracial marriage.
So me, I'm still living it up large here at this house
because as long as Clarence Thomas
is married to a white lady,
interracial marriage is still on the table. So I want to give a big, hey,
little shout out to Mr. Clarence Thomas!
No, no, that horrible.
Anyway, speaking of being trapped somewhere, do you want to start some riddles?
Yeah, that's right. That mysterious rich man trapped us in his basement.
We have to answer riddles every Monday until we die
Mysterious meant it's you Adel we know it's you you it's no no no
No, no, I'm the only one who can go upstairs and talk to the very handsome very tall very muscular rich mysterious man very young as well
We know you go up there eat a yogurt laugh about how you've trapped us here and then you come back down.
No, because you come back down here covered in yogurt.
What?
I gotta say it.
I gotta say it.
I gotta say it.
I gotta say it.
I gotta say it.
I gotta say it.
I gotta say it.
I gotta say it.
I gotta say it.
I gotta say it.
I gotta say it.
I gotta say it.
I gotta say it.
I gotta say it.
I gotta say it.
I gotta say it. I gotta say it. I gotta say it. I gotta say it. I gotta say it. because right now what you're doing is you're going all over yourself yogurt. So TPC's search history, millipede, centipede goger.
Hold on a minute. Point of contention. Wouldn't yogurt on the go be yoga?
I mean, if you want to get sued, sure.
No, yo, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go,ush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh it all with the other way for you. You go go you go go. Go go go go. You go you go go go.
Hey excuse me man what is your shirt made?
I don't know. I was writing go cards with the go go go go go go go.
You go go go go go.
I do want to give it up.
Let's just take a brief pause, a brief moment
to celebrate and really applaud the mad men in advertising
who come up with all these yogurt names.
Fajee, Chico Bonnie, whatever that is.
Yo play.
Yo play, gogert.
These all sound like names for like sex rooms
in a hotel or something.
Oh yeah.
You like to go to the room.
That's my way, but I want to get to go-girt room if you don't mind.
So, this is a peak behind the kind of hotels
that Adel and Stagin, that they have a your play room?
A sex room.
Oh, sorry.
I got a really good room.
The room is to your left.
The room is yours.
You can do with it as you please.
If you want to fuck it there, I'm not some millipede,
I'm not going to tell you where to suck and fuck like you can do whatever you want.
Exactly.
Aaron, legally you are old man puzzles today.
Fine, for now, let's see how this goes.
Do you want to toss us some freaking hardballs?
Yeah, these riddles come from Sterling.
And Sterling said such nice things in their email,
and I will show it to you guys after we record.
I thought these were really clever and a fun creative concept.
So I've taken a number of fonts and typefaces
that you might or might not be familiar with
and rephrase them to be confusing and weird. So if you can figure out the font I mean,
how familiar with fonts are you? Not very. I know Newt Courier and
Helveki and I think that's Times Newt. Times Newt Robin. Wingdings. These also sound
like sex rooms. My man knows wingdings of course. You got to know winged things.
What about Comic Sans?
You don't Comic Sans.
Oh, I know Comic Sans.
I'll wait, Adela, let me see if I can give you a hint
for another one.
I actually don't know if you said it, The first one is a bell tied to a bird.
Bell tied to a bird.
Now, Bell was famously in a mansion with a feather duster,
which feathers come from.
Yeah, there's always bells.
Bell tied to a bird would be a ring ding.
Wing ding.
A wing ding.
Wing ding.
When you said that one, huh?
Yeah.
Okay, good, good.
Wing ding.
A freshly made hour glass from the historical Mediterranean
First we made our glass right straight from the kitchen
Now this one I think would be times New Roman right? Yep. Okay. Is that fun? Yes. That's very fun
I'll stand up comedian who suffered a loss
a stand-up comedian who suffered a loss. Comic Sans.
Yeah.
Can I get the pasta sans, Parmesan?
Pasta sans.
I'd like to see a scene.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Uh, JPC, you are a stand-up comedian who just got terrible news right before they went
on to the stage.
And Adel, whenever you're ready, you can be a heckler. Hmm. He did, he did what? Welcome to the stage!
Well, I gotta go-
Hey everybody! How that lady ran by announcing something.
Hey everybody, just to get ahead of it, my name is Louis GK.
I just heard the news.
Oh, hold on, I'm a Dracula.
Ooh.
That's me just taking a sip.
Okay, of my drink.
First of all, I hate playing these fucking nowhere clubs.
Ooh.
I just want to get on top of it.
I'm gonna be doing some comedy for you today,
but I'm not that guy.
I'm not the one that you all might be thinking of. That's, that's a completely different. I just heard about that guy,
and that guy seems like real bad news. Apparently, still do it on like all the shows, like a lot of shows.
Which is fucking wild. Yeah, he's banned from the Fajet Factory, which is where you're at now.
Okay. I'm sorry. So is it? it's Dracula is probably a room primarily full of
Dracula's and a yogurt factory. And you told me you told me to tell me to tailor my set to this.
So I really need this $500. I hope he does something on coffins. I hope he does
something on the hood. I can hear them. I didn't have anything on coffins or blood.
I was looking at my blood. I can hear them.
I didn't have anything on coffins or blood.
So quick, the sun is coming up.
Oh, I am getting the sun.
I am getting the sunlight,
put it back on the roof.
How'd I do, baby?
I killed all the Dracula's.
See.
Oh, there's a bunch of Dracula's, not a bunch of vampires.
There's a ton of Dracula's.
You were sans-helcing.
Sans-helcing.
Sans means without,
Yeah.
It's like the foot of the text or something, right?
Like the thing that like,
the, a serif is a flourish and sans-serif
is without the flourish, is that right?
A serif is in charge of a small town,
that's basically in the wild west.
A cab of course.
Oh, Marsh, sheriff.
I, yeah, I only know Sans is like the,
I know in like restaurant terms of like
a salad sans pecans.
What's that?
It just means a salad sans pecans.
Sans pecans.
A salad sans pecans.
Hold on.
A salad sans pecans.
A salad sans pecans.
A salad sans pecans.
Children, a salad sans pecans.
A salad sans pecans. A salad sans pecans. So I know that as just like that. I know that. I know that. I know that.
I know that.
I know that.
I know that.
I know that.
I know that.
I know that.
I know that.
I know that.
I know that.
I know that.
I know that.
I know that.
I know that.
I know that.
I know that.
I know that.
I know that.
I know that.
I know that.
I know that. I know that. I know that. restaurant term, but I know the diner term. Yeah, together we know a lot. Ha, ha, ha.
You at your eggs, I'll eat my fog rough.
Visit to the combination optometrist in OBGYN.
At the combination pizza hut in front of the world.
And this is a five.
So it's a combination between,
it's a, what is it?
It's a podiatrist in OBGYN optometrist.
So I,
So I doctor.
Sorry, optometrist, and what was the second one? OBGYN. Automatrist. So I. So I doctor.
Sorry. Automatrist and what was the second one?
OBGYN.
OBGYN.
OBGYN.
Lens vagina.
Wow.
Da da da da.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We've been trying to get you to say Lens vagina for 207
episodes.
And he finally did a JPC.
What did he win?
I bet you're thinking, what's going on here?
Yeah, that's me. I'm Lynn and this is my vagina
It's like Charlie's angels lens vaginas. What did he win? He gets to spin the wheel of
Responsibilities and did it did it did it did it did it did it you have to call someone's dad on their birthday
Yeah You have to call someone's dad on their birthday. Oh, yeah.
Again, the wheel of responsibility is not good.
Never want to have one of these responsibilities,
but that's what you would.
So, Addles guess vagina lens,
which blood to see that font.
Why one or that one?
That sounds insane.
Viginal lens?
No, no, I said lens vagina.
I'm part of it in my French.
I, baby, a font that is I, baby.
Pometrist, what do they do to you at the OPPGN?
Papp, Papp.
Papp, Preca, Papp.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Look at who I, look at who I'm on.
No, no, no, no.
Papp, you have it's Papp and then something that's in your eye.
I'm sorry, I just clarification for my,
I'm sorry.
Yes, yes.
For my, for my Nolikris. Is Adel at all closer with pap iris or I closer with lookie who
huh? I say your equally is warm. It's me, John Travota, lookie who
huh? Lookie who huh talking. That's hard to say. Pap iris, I get it. That's
fun. Uh, cartoon turtle dressed in black denim and chains.
Dressed in black denim and chains.
Mertle punk.
Goth Raphael.
A cartoon turtle dressed in chains and what else?
Dressed in black denim and chains. So gothic is something it's like gothic.
It's something gothic.
It's also a founding father who invented the bio folk.
Benjamin.
Other.
You've been frank. Franklin gothic. Yeah. father who invented the biofocus. Benjamin, other. It's your big friend.
Franklin, gothic.
Yeah, other things you've seen.
JBC, your turtle dad.
And Adel, you decided that you're going to change your style
as his son.
And now you want to dress like a goth.
And you're on your way to the school bus and your dad
stopping you because he thinks that's not an appropriate way to dress.
Okay.
Whoa!
Whoa!
Dad, fuck off!
Slow down there, kiddo!
I'm gonna be late, dad. Now's not the time.
We're turtles.
We're gonna be late.
What are you wearing, Jamie?
I'm wearing a new shirt by my favorite band.
They're called Taking Back Sunday.
Well, I think you should taking that back to the store.
Why don't you put on that nice red polo shirt that your dad got you I tried wearing that last week
And I got my fucking shell kicked now. No Jamie put a dollar in the swear jar dad are you on trums?
I'm fucked up for sure
Love you all gotta go to work. I'm'm a rabbit zoom the hair always wins
That it's not a race. It's getting to school
Look Jamie you
Are very special boy your half your mother and your half me your father
But you get to also be you I just don't want to see you falling in with a crowd that doesn't actually represent you my boy.
I can't listen to this. Let me put on my headphones.
I chimed in. Haven't you heard of closing a goddamn door?
That's more like it. That's not taking back Sunday.
Sure is. No. That's panic at the- and that's an older cut.
Wait. Why? Dad, you listen to panic at the- and that's an older cut. Wait. Why?
Dad, you listen to panic at the disco?
Oh no.
I guess it's time for the truth to come out.
Your dad wasn't always Mr. Turtle,
and in another life, he was Pete Wins.
Ha!
And I got kicked in the head by a police horse at a parade.
Oh!
Did I marry a rabbit?
Had a turtle as kid?
Moved into this boot, and I live in a river.
Ha!
Let's put a tarot pin in this, and uh, discuss further at home.
Ugh.
I think the kind of means really kicking in.
Oh, I hope so. Old Pete
Wins doesn't have much to live for anymore. Help my dad's in the K hole. Just a slow drip of
catadena. My dad's in the K hole. You Pete. Seen. Perfect. Um, the lines for a play about observing your surroundings before proceeding forward.
Script, sight lines.
What was the second part?
Lines for a play script.
The lines for a play about observing your surroundings before proceeding forward.
This one's really tough.
Script, observations, script, script,
scripting, script, scripting the,
in the front half or back half.
Script is in the back half.
So it's something script.
Something script, man, I wish I knew
for a full script. You look around and then you the do's
Move forward
You'll yeah, oh yeah, you uh, I've checked for car blank what I want a blank
I see what I want to see say what I want to do what I want to do dance. I want to dance
I go it's Sego. Oh, you'llgo, go. Seigo script. Seigo script?
Seigo script?
Seigo script?
Seigo script?
Yeah, you're not familiar.
Now hold on.
Hey, Sean, what type of bird drinks Pepsi and explodes?
The Seigo.
I want to see a quick scene here with Seigo script.
Aaron, you are applying for a job
at all.
You are the interviewer for the job.
This is at a internet startup.
Aaron, you are applying to be a programmer,
and you have listed a bunch of programming languages on your resume that you don't actually
know anything about. And Adel, you are just asking Aaron to explain her experience with
these programming languages.
Right.
Okay. So we're really excited to get to know some people who want to work at Flashback.
I'm taking a look get to know some people who want to work at Flashback.
I'm taking a look over your resume here.
I see you know Python C++, Southern French.
It says also here you know Cartwheel Plus and ABCDs.
Yeah, of course I'm proficient to expert in all of those.
Oh, okay.
Um, can you talk me through?
Start with sweat.
What?
Uh, can you talk me through cartwheel plus?
Yeah, of course.
Um, I mean, obviously.
Is that for real in the hair?
Oh.
Hey, yo, well, yeah, obviously it's a program that takes your business numbers and turns
them upside down and then right set up again.
Oh, that's for flashback, that's exactly what we need.
So we will, if hired, I wanna say if hired,
we will probably put you in the programming department.
That sounds pretty good.
And that's probably the end of your questions, right?
No, no, no, I have a few more.
So it says one of the programs you know here,
it says Microsoft Excel,
and it also says holding an egg in your mouth for two minutes.
Yep. Is that, is that just a special skill or is that also programming?
It's both. So I can hold an egg in my mouth and also for two minutes. And also it's sorry, can I just
I just need to just step out really quick. Give me one second. Oh, before you go. And also it's sorry can I just I just need to just step out really quick
give me one second. Oh before you go. It also says yoga.
Graming. Yeah, like yogurt programming. Totally. One sec. Hey, I'm sorry dad. You know
this resume you made for me because you want me to move out of the house. Yeah. And you
want me to get a job. Sure. None of this makes a lick of sense. I didn't read it before.
I didn't work for Microsoft for 45 years with things that made a lick of sense. I Didn't read it before I didn't work for a Microsoft for 45 years with things that made a lick of sense
We were building the future Kennedy. We were building the future
What's the yogurt one and what's the egg one? What do they do? I was in a pretty deep K hole when I wrote this
Oh god, just tell them it's a programming thing, okay? It's a programming thing
Sorry, you're outside the room. Oh god. Sorry. Yeah, you gotta go back in there and you're there and you're dad's gonna keep sweeping
It's a programming thing. Oh, um, oh great. Uh, and what does that do? What kind of programming?
How's this helpful? How is this behind you?
Huh picks up cut from your desk throws it right at your face diversion
Did I get the job?
No, you broke my nose.
Janitor!
Oh, yes, yes.
Can you clean up this mess and please escort this young person out the door?
To her new desk?
No, out the door.
Oh, out the door of this office?
Are you doing it in two lapses? and letting it sway back and forth in front of
my out of the door of this office to her new desk in the bullpen with the rest of the program.
I was the rest of the programmers. I didn't work as a magician at Microsoft for 40. I don't say this but I don't say this far. Oh, come on. Come on. Be serious. Be serious.
A janitor who's a magician?
See, fine. All right. Well, that's going to be on your TV.
He's doing enough everybody. A couple more before break.
A darkly colored crayon granted the power of flight. A darkly colored crayon?
Darkly colored crayon?
I feel like this one wants you to say,
like, goffin.
See, I think it again.
Goffin, dark.
But you got black.
Oh, okay, black and with the ability to fly.
Oh, black power crayon.
But the power crayon.
Oh, black power crayon.
Oh, black power crayon.
Take these broken wings and look.
Wait, black Ariel? Ariel black. Ariel black. Oh, that was an awesome punk rock. It got a little confused somewhere in there
I punk rock the metal the the the the the world's meshed a little bit
What's especially with Everlovene and the real black and all that?
Oh, I want to know that. Oh, math evolution. Edition primordial soup?
You got it, the classic font.
No.
Can I play a new character called font Dracula?
Yeah, I don't know if you're Dracula.
Oh, Helvecchia. Is that fun? I love it. Yeah, I'm just like, Dracula Dracula. Oh, hella, Vecchia.
Was that fun?
I love it. Yeah, I like that. I like that.
A count is count part of it.
No, um, fun with numbers.
It's the name of a class where you would talk about numbers.
Math.
So that's the second half of it.
Okay.
Something math.
And then the first half was back to an era and time when
Lizards were fish
Yeah, it's something like that like paleolithic math. There's a pangea math. Oh pangea math is a great pop
Punk metal band name. Oh Cambrian.
Oh Cambrian.
Oh Cambrian.
The Australian period, yes, it's this.
Perfect. Well, we're gonna go on the fastest little break. It's gonna be so quick. See you back in music. Hey, uh, JPC, you know how I love he looks sleep. I love that he looks mattress brand. Uh,
best nights sleep in my life. I know not everyone is on board yet, so I secured
life. I know not everyone is on board yet, so I secured award-winning sleeper. Merrill Sleep. She's right behind that door. Merrill Sleep. Wow, she won the golden pillow.
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and everybody sleeps differently.
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I don't know if you're a side sleeper or you sleep hot or cold or if you sleep like me.
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Yeah, choosing the right mattress is a real Sophie's decision.
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I don't think I thought you were the person that you were talking about.
Oh, she's doing it.
What a performance.
He looks mattresses all come with a 10 to 15 year warranty depending on the model.
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Go ahead and give her the Academy of Snor, the Snor.
Academy of Snor.
You know what?
You mean the Academy of Snor.
Glint close to falling asleep, that's why I got you.
Oh yeah, I got that a lot.
Hey Adel, hey, Aaron, I got a bone to pick
with the two of you.
Sure, yeah, wore the skeleton outfit just because
I figured this was coming.
Happy Halloween a few months early.
It's not yet the...
What is it?
So you know how the two of you, I was like, guys, I am always so hungry for lunches and
dinners and the like and you, jokers, told me, oh, JPC, it's okay, all you have to do is
take some, you know, American paper currency, tape it to your front door,
close the door, and then wait until someone brings you food.
Well, I kept opening the door and the money was gone.
So I had to tape more money to my door.
I think you're thinking, you're gonna work out all.
Oh, door cash.
Door cash.
Yeah, you did door cash.
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I just got those from DoorDash and they were on my
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Did you fill your belly and your pantry?
Uh, yes.
Did you fill your backpack?
I did.
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At all, JPC keeps eating my gel pens.
Thanks DoorCash. I mean, no, that's the one.
That one didn't work.
That one's bad.
Hey, JPC.
Yeah.
You're not in trouble.
I just need help. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I. I just need to I'm advised this podcast is sponsored by Square Space.
I'm not I'm not mad at you. We're pranking
spaces to all one website platform for entrepreneurs to
stay in that agency online, whether you're just starting out
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anything for products that cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here. Come here. Come here.
Hey, what's what's going on? I actually, I want to prank GPC and I want to set up a whole
website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like a online store that could
set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace you can have custom merch?
You can easily sell custom merchant-crate passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand design your products and production and
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What is happening? Okay, um wait, what's going on with that? Oh?
Nothing nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website,
not a prank thing.
No, he's gonna tune you.
And I'm gonna use analytics.
Use insights to grow my business
and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from.
That's pretty cool.
I'm gonna improve my website
and build marketing strategy based on top keywords
or popular products and content on my prank website
for prank activity.
Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron.
I'm glad you're using Squarespace.
Did you say what the website was for?
I can't remember what the website was for.
Yeah, the website was for.
Prank.
With Squarespace engines.
Yeah, with engines.
You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools
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Hey, JPC, hey, JPC.
What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Adel?
I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine.
Dude, we got her.
Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com
for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to
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Oh, she's back, she's back.
Hey Aaron.
Hey Aaron.
Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've
been pranked. But how? I don't know. Hey, Rick, oh, Rick, oh, we're back. I said,
we're back with me. Oh my god. Why god. Why don't we take that one again?
Mid-yawning to you.
And we're back.
Take two.
And we're back.
How was everyone's break?
What'd you do?
It was so quick I didn't have time to wash my hands.
And what did you do?
Went to Maine to Acadia.
Oh, something amazing. So So great, great little break.
Yeah.
Sounds good.
And I could continue recording as long as I can
as I don't touch anything.
Because Adelaide was gone for eight days, nine days?
I guess eight days, nine nights.
And I didn't wash my hands that time, so.
Gross, good.
Quite the last.
Okay, I guess I'll start judging you on every little thing that you do in your life. So. Uh, gross. Good. Glad that I asked. Um, okay.
I guess I'll start judging you on every little thing
that you do in your life.
I have absolutely in the room right now.
I have absolutely in the room right now.
What are you looking at?
Let's take a look at the salt-saker on the fucking counter.
So how about that?
Also, no paper towels in that paper towel roll.
Stop looking!
Stop it!
I'm clean.
I'm clean.
I just ran out. Aaron, I gotta say, big fan of the the even though I didn't know a lot of them big fan of those font riddles
Please keep those amazing. Thank you. So those bespoke unique home crafted home made Etsy style riddles coming
Please send them to HR or podcast edema.com because Lord knows we need them
And just did just that Joel
wrote some lemon
Reddels you want to try to do those or we could just sit here in silence for the next 30 minutes
Okay, no, no, I would love to hear Joel's lemon Riddles now I gotta say these aren't gonna be fucking filthy dirty Limericks, are they?
I hope not and also bottle red bottle white you're having steak and fish. What are we doing?
I don't want to hear I don't want to hear any riddles that have like
blowing loads of chunky cuckoo or whatever. What else do you not want to hear?
Like doing like a filthy miserable sticky. I don I don't wanna hear that. Yeah, yeah.
Bending over to f***a Tommy.
What else?
I would only hear a-
Doing the splits and f***ing.
Doing the splits and f***ing, I don't-
Well, splits and f***ing.
Honestly, if the answer is doing the splits and f***ing,
I wouldn't be mad.
That one's context dependent.
Oh, because that's not necessarily filthy.
Doing the splits and pissing.
I don't wanna hear a riddle about someone slapping their wet calves
on someone's sticky, slick, s slapping their wet calves on someone sticky,
slick-y-s**tter blades, though.
Oh, yeah.
That's not my type of riddle.
Yeah.
I could do with half of that.
Casey's gonna have so much fun bleeping these, however he feels good, yes?
Great.
Here we go.
You'd say I'm awfully thin, and many chuck me in the bin.
The lines on my face might help keep your place against me
Dwayne Johnson can't win the rock a heart. Do you say cake boss cake boss cake boss
you just hear listening for it you want to hear
Buss against me Dwayne Johnson can't win so this is either
Stone Cold Steve Austin you'd say I'm awfully thin and many chuck me in the bin. The lines of my face might help keep your place against me doing Johnson
Camp win. Ben diesel. No. Because it was in his contract that he couldn't lose a fight to the rock. Which is so funny.
Yeah, it's very funny. Is this a full answer? Is this like a pun? No, it's not a pun. It's just a regular one. So what can I call that? I got a dead stopper.
I got a dead stop by my man, Adam, on this one,
because he asked, is this a full answer or a pun?
So I'm going to ask you, what is a full answer
to a riddle in your mind?
I love what I don't get dead stopped
and someone else does.
I just sit here and read my magazine and look over.
Like a riddle will be a half an answer,
and it'll be like, well, the answer is a blu-
Well, typically we can just kind of shout out both stuff.
The bullshit stuff, but a full answer
is when I have to like really exert mental power
and sort of go in my mind palace
and go in the laboratory and can cock to a special chemical
that releases an answer
that I have to then put to words and pronounce.
And it is.
This is gonna be one of those riddles
where I can clock out for the last 75% of the riddle
and say, echo and still have a 50, 50 chance again, right?
Yep.
All I'm going for anytime I yell something
is for Aaron and go close, shadow, egg, cloud,
the color blue, paper.
Aaron is a paper. It is paper. Hells, yeah, the color blue. Air is a paper.
It is paper.
Pels, yeah, you got it.
The 25th anniversary.
Oh, yes.
Oh, 25.
No, I think it's like the three.
Two.
Yeah.
Two.
Hold on.
Could anyone possibly ever know what the actual numbers behind it?
I got it.
I got it. I see.
I see.
I'm sorry.
Oh, damn it.
The two of you are a couple.
You're celebrating your 25th anniversary,
and you each got gifts that were maybe not appropriate
for the year.
Got it.
Wow.
What a wonderful evening.
Wow.
I mean, this has been so, so special.
Yeah, the champagne was such a nice touch,
and oh my god, you hired a personal strap.
This is just beautiful.
Uh, should we be-
And the carriage ride around the block?
I mean, that-
You said, hey, would you mind going outside and picking something up and then the carriage
right there and it was just what- what- and the horses had almost no smell.
Aww, babe, that's so sweet.
You're so sweet.
You're so sweet.
Gifts?
What are we doing?
Yes, and I have your gift in the kitchen. And I have your gift right here.
So, okay, and, okay, give me one moment and...
Months, yeah!
Is there a problem with the entree?
Shut up! Just sit down.
Just leave, actually.
We're done eating.
Are you taking hostage?
No, we're done eating. You being around this long. Don't few. Just get out. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, one of you rob your tummy and say yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum get the fuck out of my head it was authentic
alright baby
um here you go
uh it's 25 so here are some
zinc supplements
wow
you look a lot like the zinc supplements I bought that were on
you know the counter
I don't zinc so
okay you get this man out of our house
Yeah, I'm y'all me me you hired him you get a metaphor house
Yeah, you did you did hire him right no like you hired him. I said you hired a personal chef
Everyone on the floor. I got you divorce papers
You've been sir
Pops on a horse floats into the moon.
I knew there was no such thing as a grilled cheese cordot blue.
See.
Hey, the pilot, did you see that man float into the moon?
Smacking.
See.
The guy, the process server that sticks around for three hours makes you a full dinner and
that is like, you've been served.
Best of the biz?
Best of the biz.
I serve one person a day with papers.
The title of this episode is definitely,
I don't think so.
Yay!
I don't think so!
Uh.
If you had to tell me, what do you think
the 25th anniversary gift is?
And something that we won't worry about for a long time.
Ongx.
Diamonds.
Ongx.
Oh, I thought you meant like an ong like a Egyptian religious symbol.
Ongx.
Ongx or Obsidian or.
Ongx.
Oh, is it?
Ongx.
Ongx.
Yay, man, I'm glad.
On 20, 25th, that's a Drew blood so jersey, right?
That's the Drew blood so jersey.
That's also what a doctor says when they made an accident.
I drew blood so you have to say these things.
So you mad at me?
Are you mad at me?
I think that every couple, I think they should say,
fuck whatever tradition tells you is the, you know, anniversary, whatever.
So you make it, if you make it to one year in your anniversary, you should sit down and
be like, look, let's plan out the next 50.
We'll both agree on what the material is and we'll just put it in a list and that way
we can agree on it together.
So we're all like, okay, so 35 is coming up.
We all know that's horse hair.
So it's like, we gotta get together,
we gotta figure out how we're gonna do this.
How we gonna do this?
Of course, 41 is fibromyalgia.
36 is a big aquarium.
36 is a big aquarium.
That's my favorite one.
God, it's our two big aquariums.
Maybe it's gold.
Could be gold for 25. Rose? Is no one gonna Google it? No, I's too big aquariums. Maybe it's gold. Could be gold for 25. Rose.
Is no one going to Google it? No, I'm not going to Google it. I know. I know that 12th.
I know that 12th is Kevin, you banks his laugh. That is the 12th. So it's force laughter.
Oh, it's it's not gold, but it's close. It's the silver anniversary. It's silver. I can't believe. Can you imagine?
I think 50s diamond. Okay. Can you imagine going for 25 years, which is a huge accomplishment nowadays in marriage. Yeah, big accomplishment. And only getting silver, which is second place.
Gold is 50. Aaron, I'm sorry, you're right. I think it's diamond 75. I think diamond 75.
Wait, did you think that my voice was Aaron's voice?
Wait, what did I say?
Do you think our voices are that similar at all?
Aaron.
We have to get back to Riddles.
Gps, hold on.
Huh, huh, huh.
There's two Dracula's, which one do I shoot?
Neither.
We have to use a stake.
With four, it's no problem you're fine.
With three, not as safe, not as safe a design.
With two, please be careful. With one, you're so with three not as safe not as safe a design with two please be careful with one your
So dareful with zero just sit still and wine and they know that
Yes
Tickle my teeth. Oh, so gentle spaces the spaces between accidental if you bang a string, the cool cats will swing,
and cold heart become sentimental.
Did you guys ever have a tickle me teeth Elmo?
Here's an Elmo with super sharp teeth.
You have to try to tickle before it bites you.
Can you read that one more time, Aaron?
Tickle my teeth also gentle.
The spaces between accidental.
If you bang on a string, the cool cats will swing
and cold hearts become sentimental.
I want to say floss.
So this is clearly, is it like a mouth harp or a...
I was gonna say a chromatic cup.
It's some sort of musical instrument.
Totally.
What are the...
Bang on a string.
But what...
Your mouth and a string?
You know, you're using your, there's no mouth in it.
It's called my teeth, oh, so gentle.
Oh, an onion.
Yes, a piano.
Is it a cordian, the mobile?
Mobile piano.
Also called weirdals piano.
Steel arms reach out from a concrete plane.
Married fingers reflecting the rising sun.
Humanity like blood cells, pulse and flow inside,
knives stabbing the clouds.
I want to say that's Robert Frost.
It's Robert.
It's his poem, Big City Small Guy.
I was not a Limerick, more like a beat poem.
Yeah.
Is this some sort of sky scraper?
Yeah, you got it.
Sky's prepared.
Yeah.
I do want to see a scene.
Oh, good.
I do want to see a scene.
So the two of you are architects.
Aaron, you are the lead architect.
And you are showing JPC your plans for a building
that you want to build in a city.
But you're very poetic. you're very good with words.
So the way you're describing the building is almost
as if it's some sort of ancient poem or something.
Glamour, personhood, a little bit of luck
and a little bit of glass.
Why do we look down when we could look up?
Hi.
I'm Claire and I design buildings next slide.
I'm sorry.
Are you on a call?
I can come back.
Oh no, I'm talking to you.
You're talking to me.
Okay.
Yeah, we've been talking about a bunch of times.
No, you just introduced yourself.
We've been a bunch of times.
I'm Rory.
Glamour. Oh.
Personnel. Sure. I'm Claire. I make buildings. Yeah, I yeah. We want next slide. We want people.
Should I be hitting next slide? Yeah. There's not a computer open in this room. Next slide. Okay, sure.
I want to design something so beautiful that it will inspire people to stop, even if they're
on their way to work.
A building is not just a building.
It's also a skyscraper.
It's also a place where small rooms next slide.
Next slide.
I don't know.
I'm just hitting the desk.
I'm just tapping the desk.
Hey, Frank, on the call here,
loving the pitch so far,
I do want to remind the two of you
that this is for a Best Buy.
Great.
Our budget, our budget is basically
to repurpose a circuit city.
Yeah, and I just can't say.
Innovation. We just have a big, we just have a big delivery of steel and concrete and
they just asked me to come and ask you where to put it. Oh, dreaming big and coming together
as a community. Next slide. In the pit. I don't, what in the pit? Yeah, just put them in
the pit. Uh, I'm, Frank, I'm sorry I'm sorry, you're for Best by Corporate.
No one's ever fallen in love with the building until now.
See.
Ha ha ha ha.
Aaron, that was almost, if I close my eyes,
that was basically lifted from madmen.
That was what you know.
You're a very good pitch.
You are very channelling, uh, channelling your inner Don dropper.
Don?
Well, I look like him, so why not?
That's true.
Working at Beverly, we have Dan Dreeber. Uh huh. I look at the movie, I look like him, so why not? That's true. Working at Beverly, we have Dan's labor.
Oh, I'm looking to move, but I want to do a driver.
Oh, that should be space to be a circus shooter.
My name's Dan and we're a Jones.
I wanted to do it.
I'm Dan and I'm Jones.
It's you who are here to be a circus shooter.
I'm Dan and we're a Jones, and I don't care about my kids.
I used to date Jason to dig his.
I'm smoking in the car. I'm smoking in the car.
I'm smoking in the car.
Did I do 60s?
I'm smoking in the car.
And Bill Murray's brother, and I perched my parents.
I'm Bill Murray's brother, Jordan Murray,
and I perched my parents.
He punched your parents?
I don't know.
Oh, daddy.
I give you the setup and you give me the punny answer.
Addle.
Oh, you're built for this.
Whoa.
Is this by the same person?
J.B.C. you're also here.
Limerick's.
Okay.
Yeah, same person.
Thank you, person.
This is fantastic.
Well, we did all Joe.
We did our name or we didn't.
Yeah, they're all Joe, which we can only assume is Bill Murray's brother.
Billy Joel.
Joel Murray, who I think is the actor who is in Mad Men.
Yeah.
You want to piss his pants, right? Oh, who is in Madman. Yeah, he was one of the pissedest pants, right?
Oh yeah.
He was actually pissed his pants, I believe, a character
that I'm going to show pissed.
But he wasn't doing the splits, so we're protected.
Protected.
A crime-solving swamped, well-enged lizard from Florida
in a waste coat should be called.
A crime-solving swamped, well-enged lizard from Florida
in a waste coat should be called.
So an alligator, alligator belt?
No.
So an alligator is definitely Florida.
Would it be like scruffed migator?
Something, it's something gator.
Sure lock gator, sure lock job.
What's a waste coat?
It's like, if I say it, old timey blazer. It's like it doesn't have sleeves and you
Connected. Yep. This
Investigator alligator. Yeah, you did it. Wow an investigator. Okay. That's pretty great
Investigator if you see an Apple store get robbed you might get called into court as in I
Witness yeah you might get called into court as in. I I witness. Yeah, no.
I love this.
Holy shit.
Joel, can we give Joel my personal number?
Yes, I already did.
And my pun hotline, my direct.
If you have puns, send them immediately.
No time is bad.
When I threw away my dad's newspaper, Puzzy,
he said some...
Horrible shit.
He said some breaking news.
He went through my dad's newspaper puzzle.
Oh, he was a cross stick with me.
Uh, he called it close.
He used what he used.
Sadoku words.
Oh, you know, but you got it. What what is he's he's great
What a fucking family circus. No, you had it you kind of he used some cross words. There you go
The night who was the largest when measured around the waist was known as
Big night big nine Daniels
The good night you measure a circle circumference.
Yeah, circumference circumference. I would like to see Aaron Aaron if I may before we
see the scene which I definitely want to see.
J. B. C. And I asked very nicely we pleaded with you pleaded. No gross fucking answers.
Now if you take the France off the sensor what do you have? J gross fucking answers now if you take the france off this answer. What do you have?
JVC
Well, you have sir come Aaron and I don't think that that's very nice to hear a person say
I don't actually like the way that that sounds and I didn't love saying it and
Your sir come despite your sir come size whether you be large or small you are still sir come and nobody wants to be knighted by a sir come
I would like to see a scene.
I take that scene.
I take that scene.
I take that scene.
I take that scene.
I take that scene.
I take that scene.
I take that scene.
I take that scene.
I take that scene.
I take that scene.
I take that scene.
I take that scene.
I take that scene.
I take that scene.
I take that scene.
I take that scene.
I take that scene.
I take that scene.
I take that scene. I take that scene. I take that scene. I take that scene. Yes, Quire. Must I address you by your full name?
Uh, Jerry's fine.
Oh, thank God.
Jerry, I want to be a knight as brave and as bold as you.
I also want to be a hedge knight,
which is a knight that curls up into a ball and runs real fast.
Yes, but hedge knights also have to protect their coins, pets by pouch.
Oh, yes.
And you'll never get coins unless you take on some of the big game.
Everyone knows that in order to become a knight, come closer, Squire, come closer.
Wait, is come closer your catchphrase?
It is, yes.
So come closer.
I don't like shouting.
So I think I'm closer.
Yes, whisper in me here.
In order to become a knight, you have to get your knightly name.
And you have to get your knightly name from defeating a creature.
Like take Sir Dragon Heart, for instance.
Yes, I heard he slayed a dragon by lancing it through the heart.
Mm-hmm, he tried before to jowy it through the heart, but that's just me.
Or to take Sir King Killer, for instance.
Yes, he's the knight who finished all two of Patrick Rothus' books.
What a feat!
What a feat it is!
He's still waiting for the third!
Keep waiting, Sir King Killer.
Keep waiting.
Well, I do.
No, never mind.
That's a road question.
What is it, Squire? No, you're my Squire mind that's a real question. What is it squire? I?
Know you're my squire. I'm an open book. Well, I used to be the town cryer now. I'm a squire
So I think let no one the town cryer shut up John. I want to know
John's always dropping his pencils on over the floor. Oh, yes, just pick up the pencils
Just pick it up solve your own problems
So I want to know what did you defeat to get the name? Oh, yes. Just pick up the pencil shot. Just pick it up. Solve your own problems.
So I want to know, what did you defeat to get the name, Sir Com?
Well, it's not really what I defeated.
Oh, but it's what I entreated.
And I, let's just say I helped the queen with a very specific issue that she was having.
Do tell.
I f***ed it, man. C'mon. Keep up. I fucked it, man. Come on.
Keep up.
I fucked your fucking brains out, dude.
I think.
What are you talking about?
Is that why the Prince is your doppelganger?
Yeah.
Yeah.
D-d-d-d-d-d-d.
So thank you, Joel, for those.
Thank you, Joel.
You absolutely rock those.
I would love to play a voicemail. Ooh. Oh baby. Alright. Aaron wants to do it. Let's hit it.
Wait for the beef. Hey riddle. Reddle. I wanna get the calls on the voicemail
And I'll replay and I'll hit play
Hey, Monty, listen, our first time caller
Love you all, I just wanted to hit you with a fact here
Did you know that nearly a third of the times
with the word banana is mentioned in the comic Garfield was in 1990.
This is a comic that has been running since 1978 and yet nearly a third of all the times the
word banana has been said in the comics is in the year 1990. This doesn't make any sense. 1978
is running since a third of the murder in 1990
Answer for your crimes Jim Davis. All right. Love the show. Thanks. Bye
Interesting so a voicemail from someone obviously in a K hole
We could not have known that earlier when we did that scene. Nope
Well, I learned a thing or two I learned a thing not I wouldn't say or two I learned a thing I think I learned that same thing a couple of times. I think I learned a couple of not I wouldn't say or two I learned a thing. I think I learned that same thing a couple of times
I think I learned a couple of times in that voicemail. I'll say that. I mean next time I mean a next time I'm at a party and somebody's wearing a
Garfield sweatshirt or eating lasagna. I will definitely bring up this tidbit.
First of all if you are gonna talk shit about my parties with your little sub tweets
Just don't come because you saw the invitation. You saw it was a Garfield sweater
And a lasagna party and you chose to come and make fun of the people who were there. That's on you. You saw it was a Garfield sweater, and it was on your party, and you chose to come and make fun of the people
who were there.
That's on you.
You think you're a Garfield?
You're a normal.
And if you think you're a normal, you're a John.
And if you think you're a John, you're right.
I, you,
who?
We've gotten hundreds of voicemails,
and you didn't pick one where someone gave us a riddle.
Interesting.
Ha ha ha.
So that makes a bit of a riddle. I. Ha, ha, ha. So that was a bit of a riddle?
I mean, I picked one that I thought that you would all like.
And so that's the riddle, you didn't say,
give me a voicemail with a riddle in it.
Can I have a voicemail with a riddle in it?
Is it way too late?
I like to say that I did a little research on this one,
and I found that in 1990 was the introduction
of a Garfield character called Banana Man.
So yeah, no shity said Banana a bunch of times in 1990 because Banana Man never came back after that year.
Yeah, man. I do, for some reason, in my mind's eye, I can see John wearing a Banana outfit. Maybe that was a thing?
I will say Garfield, Garfield, Garfield who was being Banana Man.
I will say recently on Magic Tavern's Patreon, we recorded a thing where we in character went through a whole book of Garfield Garfield who is being banana man. I will say Recently on magic taverns patreon we recorded a thing where we in character went through a whole book of Garfield comics
And I got to say as a kid. I thought I like Garfield
It's very bad a lot of it is three panels the first panel is like Garfield smiling
The next panel is like Garfield killing Odie and then the third panel is like John being like come on man
And it's not it's not funny, not of it is funny.
I don't necessarily know that-
We don't say that out loud.
I don't know if it was supposed to be funny.
I think there's probably some funny stuff.
I just think like with anything having to do so much Garfield, the hit rate has to be
so low because there's just so much.
But I remember as a kid being like fucking Garfield owns and then reading this as an adult,
I'm like,
this is awful.
And I feel like, I still feel like far side holds up.
And I still feel like Calvin and Hobbes holds up,
but the rest of it I think is very bad.
I have a horrible,
what's the one that's like the cat or something that-
Heathcliff?
Is it Heathcliff?
There's one of them that like the guy who did it died
and then like gave it to his son to do
and his son just does like,
Oh weird.
They're just like, I think it might be Heathcliff
and I think it might just be like random fucking non-sequitors
that he's just like, why not put this into the thing?
No one's looking at these anyway.
But I could be wrong about it being Heathcliff.
And I'm not too sure about Jim Davis
but I do know that what's the one, what's the, I remember sky Adam sky Adams the Dilbert guy is like a piece of shit
Right, yeah, he's a full full of like pieces shit
So I don't know if the same thing became of the Garfield guy
But after knowing that about Scott Adams
I am always worried of like there's cartoonists. He probably crazy
Fully Gary Lester. He probably crazy. He probably went to prom with a lost
bridge. It is Heathcliff. It looks like
what's wrong with going to prom with an ostrich?
Oh shit. I'm so sorry. I forgot.
Well, that's what my date did. Went to a prom with an ostrich. I'm the ostrich.
I'll describe you this Heathcliff cartoon. It is a woman sitting on a chair and Heathcliff is holding up a puppet of Heathcliff to the woman
And it just says puppet Heathcliff likes you and that's the whole cartoon
And it's just hey, it's just whatever you want right like that's he's got that reference to something
Couldn't possibly be what could it be a Revolver's yeah, so I do I do want to say a full full throw it indoors of Heathcliff
So I do, I do want to say a full, full throw in the doors of Heathcliff. But Collar, you forgot to say your name, you forgot to say if you liked the podcast,
you forgot to say if you were even submitting it to the right podcast.
But we agree with you. Jim Davis did something weird in the 90s.
Get the name as any brain, Jim Davis.
Well, that was such a good voicemail choice.
We all learned a thing and we're feeling better for it.
Oh, Aaron, I'm getting a word that we have time for one more voicemail
Love you all
He might have just repeated himself and then he changes at the end. Yeah, yeah. Oh,
comic that's been running since 1978.
Oh,
yeah, nearly a third of all the time.
Oh,
the name has been said in the comics.
Nope.
Same one.
The case is stop is the same one.
It's the same one.
Do we know?
Do we know for effect that?
Okay.
Well, I guess that may have been the same one.
It's also get to probably be one of those things where we're never really going to
know the truth was it the same one.
It's really just impossible to tell.
I have my best people on it.
We'll have an answer.
If you have a Garfield fact that you want to submit
to the show, you can always do that by calling 805 riddle one.
That number again is 805 riddle one.
Hey, Adel, do you have anything that you would like to plug?
Oh, you startled me.
I'm sorry about that.
I would say, what's something I wanna plug? Uh, bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo know. I don't know if I can know I'm not going to play your game. So what you you weren't prepared for
the question that comes at the end of every single episode. Okay hold on well I will say I haven't
played it yet but Anthony Birch recommended a video game to me called Neon White I believe. Okay
Neon White so check out Neon White it's Anthony Birch approved and I also hear through the grapevine
and the California grapes themselves that the new teenage
mint Ninja Turtles game is supposed to be really fun.
I think it's called like shredders revenge or something.
It's like arcade style, right?
Yeah, it's like a throwback to there to the 90s arcade.
So I'm probably going to check out those two games in the next week or so.
I'm going to go ahead and say they're probably great.
So play them now and we can check in next week.
Aaron calling his shot.
Babe Ruth and Aaron, do you have anything to plug?
I would plug.
I saw Marcel the Shell movie.
Oh, yeah, I think it might just be out in New York and California, but it has a wide release soon.
And I really loved it.
It, I think it was great.
So if you need a little pick me up in the world,
do that. Also, if you're looking for anywhere to donate
based off of all of the nightmares in the world right now,
reach out to me on Instagram and I have a running list
of places.
Oh yeah.
If you wanna do something,
JPC anything to plug?
Yeah, we got a five star review.
If you wanna get your five star review featured,
just go to Apple iTunes, make it a counter to whatever you do over there, and then submit a five star review. If you want to get your five star review features, just go to Apple iTunes
Make it a counter whatever you do over there and then submit a five star review
And we will read it potentially on the show. This one comes from that one other guy
Says my favorite actual play podcast what a game if you're a fan of root tales of magic or not another D and D
Podcast you'll love this cookie take on tabletop audio play from the mind of Silent DM Kacy Tony.
Fan favorite characters, Adel, Aaron and Lil Monkey Bones explore a land of riddles and
puzzles after being cursed by the shadowy quizmaster, JPC.
Along the way they befriend lovable companions like Uncle Santa and Aaron's repulsive sweater,
journeying ever closer to the mysterious riddle court, where their curse may yet be broken. But beware, adventurers, for is not an answer merely a question in Mascarrade?
Listen on, dear child, and find out.
Thank you, that one other guy.
What a fantastic review.
I don't necessarily know if that's the way the podcast is structured, but good enough for
me.
You got most of the stuff right?
We should make an RPG.
That sounded very exciting.
I'm sorry, TTPG, PG13 movie.
No, no, no, I totally agree.
We should make a rocket propelled,
and then we should go to the houses,
the houses of sitting,
s***, s***, s***, s***, and we should use that rocket propelled.
Oh, b***.
You go, go, go, go, go, go, great.
You go. To them up you go to them up.
We're beeping up.
We just beeped all of that out.
But we don't we might be some beeps on that.
We might need some beeps RPG to me stands for Robert Pattinson.
Gaga.
Go.
Well, Aaron.
Yes, Adel.
Let's see here one of my one of the dirty
standards you could ever say,
um, involves a certain sort of out of this world's, um,
components in the solar system.
It starts with the J and the power.
No.
Jupiter.
Bye forever. You go! Boxing with your hate with your...
Hey there Chats and Box! If you like that, you're gonna love this week's Patreon. It's another classic chatterbox episode, which means we're answering your prompts!
You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com, such as Hey Rital Rital,
by joining the clue crew for $5 a month, or the review crew for $8 a month.
See you there!
That was a hate gun podcast. Click the Crouper $5 a month or the Review Crouper $8 a month. See you there!