Hey Riddle Riddle - #207: I Don’t Zinc So!

Episode Date: July 6, 2022

Let’s get to the fun stuff-listener submitted riddles! This week the crew will guess the font, endure a bad interview, and follow the adventures of The Great Sir Cum. We also play a voicemail where ...we ALL learn a thing(not two). Have a great week!  Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle  6351 W Montrose Ave #267 Chicago, IL, 60634 Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531) Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a head gum podcast This is Aaron's So sit back relax hands off episode baby. This is all you Can't wait to see what you cooked up soup flames dial you have to help You have to help all the dishes air at. No, what? I'll do dishes. Eric, I'll do dishes for the episode. And I will sweep. OK, fine. I'll sweep the episode on another rug afterwards.
Starting point is 00:00:30 Let's get started. Shoot on a block of ice. I told you to step work on the fish. It was the cabin of an airplane. It's happened with an oxygen plate. And the worst thing is Friday. What's it? What's it? What's it?
Starting point is 00:00:47 What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it? What's it?
Starting point is 00:00:55 What's it? What's it? What's it? Let's get started. So no one has an idea for the opening. Do you ever one here that silence at home? Did you hear it? We're including the silence. I said, let's get started.
Starting point is 00:01:15 No one has an idea for an opening. Well, to be fair, JbZ and I were, I think we thought we were doing the opening. Yeah, we did it opening and then Aaron let a long pause happen and then said let's get started. And so I guess all of it stays in. History will remember differently. Ow. Hi everybody. Ow.
Starting point is 00:01:36 I don't know. Hey, hello. I'm Hey Riddler Riddler. I'm Aaron Keith. This is Hey Riddler Riddler. That's GPC and that's Addle. Hi boys. Part of it. Hello.
Starting point is 00:01:47 Hi. Hello, Aaron. I would just like to go ahead and say I am JPC. I may legally distinct entity for purposes of Texas and assassinations. If you are trying to kill the podcast, it is like a hydrant with three different heads and I've been legally distinct head. And my name is Anorify and I can say no more information due to my lawyer trying to get me to protect myself because I blab too much. Oh great, this is going to go great. You're a real blabber mouth.
Starting point is 00:02:22 So your lawyer, your lawyer is not my lawyer. My lawyer is worth. Yeah. Actually is my lawyer? My lawyer's words. Yeah. Actually, my lawyer's kind of rude. That's not good. That gets a lot either. There's a good attitude. A good attitude.
Starting point is 00:02:31 Who's that? Aaron, can I ask you, um, what are the, since you've moved out to LA, what are the, what are the three best things about the world? No, no, no, no, I mean, no, I don't think we could find one good thing about the world right now. Yeah, three, the three best things about LA. The mountains. The camaraderie about how shitty driving is here. And tacos.
Starting point is 00:03:04 Fuck yeah, I think that that's a pretty, that's a pretty good, that's a pretty solid thing. And tacos. Fuck. Yeah, I think that that's a pretty good. That's a pretty solid thing. And tacos, come ruddery and mountains. Um, one of the three best things about Chicago. Well, I mean, the weather's been insane. I don't know if that's a plus or minus, but the weather's been absolutely crazy. Oh, Chicago weather.
Starting point is 00:03:23 Oh, then Chicago weather. Number two, living so close to JPC, we're gonna have a little board game night tonight. We're gonna miss you, Aaron. What are you gonna play? Starts to pack suitcase, rushes to the airport, refuses to be left out of anything. Realize you only pack silverware. And grateful that's exactly what I mean. We're going to play Quacks of Quiddlingberg. Is that the name of it? Yeah, that's a favor. That's an end of it.
Starting point is 00:03:51 Uh, James and I. Very fun. Okay, well, you guys have obviously nothing to talk about. So I'll go ahead and say it. There is a full-on war with the millipedes at my house. That is right. The bee and the millipedes are at war. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:04:03 The millipedes are military grade peeds. Yeah, these are peeds. These are peeds with the full funding of the United States State Department and Pentagon up on them. Oh, no. Yeah, $700 billion budget on these, that's probably more than that, on these millipedes.
Starting point is 00:04:18 Millipedes are not harmful in any way. And I did look up, because I have millipedes in my basement. And I was like, what are these millipedes doing on my basement? What other responses was, hey, because I have millipedes in my basement. And I was like, what are these millipedes doing on my basement? What other responses was, hey, there's millipedes in your basement. These are outside bugs. They're probably lost.
Starting point is 00:04:31 And I lost it at the fact that they were like, a bug could be lost. That's so funny. If a bug could be lost, then it's whole life is being lost. Debra? Debra? There's no way a bug's not always lost.
Starting point is 00:04:44 There's no way it should's not always lost hair. It's like, where should I not be walking on marble? This is not a good sign. Oh God, this is stainless steel. Let's get the fuck out of here, Janine. Okay, I'm a bug. I should not be on stainless steel. You know the millipede turns to other millipedes
Starting point is 00:04:58 and it's like, guys, wow. Oh wait. Can I ask, JPC, is this like a house centipede? No. No. No. No. No.
Starting point is 00:05:10 No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
Starting point is 00:05:18 No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. their leg joints work, but millipedes do kind of look more like snakes. They're very long and they're very, very slow. I have no problem with the millipedes. The millipedes and I, we don't need to, it doesn't need to come to blows me in the millipedes. We're all good
Starting point is 00:05:36 me in the millipedes, but they're very slow and they just like- I'm very long and very slow and I don't deserve to be killed in a basement. That's gonna be your obituary. They crawl across the floor and more times than not, more often than not. I accidentally just step on them because they're just slowly crawling across the floor and then I got a clean up with the millipedes. That's insane. I've only seen millipedes and pictures.
Starting point is 00:06:00 I've never seen one in real life. Maybe I'll come over and see one. Like, I have pictures you made in cinema, right? Yes, in cinema. I've only seen them in the movie pictures. But we have at our house we have, I guess, what's called house synopedes. Yeah, that's the thing. And those things are terrifying. Their legs are super long, so they're actually quite wide
Starting point is 00:06:17 if you count their legs. And they move real fast. But I think everyone is always like, don't kill them. They kill other bugs. And I'm always like, like, don't kill them, they kill other bugs. And I'm always like, I'd rather deal with the smaller bugs than deal with these smaller fuckers. Me and the house synopedes, who I have no problem with as well,
Starting point is 00:06:32 we have our little rule, and you get two. I will throw you in a corner, and the corner is where you get underneath the ground, and that's where you go. I'll do that twice. If your ask pops out that third time, you're gone. Yeah, you get two, I throw you in the corner. Those guys are cool because in Philippines
Starting point is 00:06:49 are the same that they don't like fuck with people and they don't have like, they don't bite you really. But those house Philippines, the way that they kill other pugs is they kick them to death with their legs. And I'm like, that's real? I've never seen it, but if you like Google about them and you like, you know, research like, what are these things do though?
Starting point is 00:07:05 Like don't worry they they're usually pretty Like your search history is pretty wild right now He's sharing screen it says here Jean-Claude Van Damme So you're just looking up Jean-Claude Van Damme who kills people with his kicks the wild thing about every bug that I've ever Come across in a in a in my house or apartment at home You always see the bug, you Google it, and the first thing that it says is like, hey, actually, this bug is fine, and like, there's no reason to kill this bug.
Starting point is 00:07:31 It's, with the exception of like a termite, they're like, okay, the termite will eat your house. That, that may be as wrong, but most bugs are like, this bug's actually great because it needs the other bugs, but if every bug eats the other bugs, eventually I'm just running like a bug buffet in my fucking house where all the bugs just come into each other and suck and and fucking and like living it up And it's like eventually I have to say enough as enough guys. You got to do it somewhere else You don't have to change the way that you are. I appreciate you, but you can't do it here closing time I love that you suck it. I'm closing time
Starting point is 00:08:02 Under my roof. I love to have the bugs suckered and fucking all day long but they can't suck and fucking old JPCs coming Great crazy story JPC I lost my rights this week Big week for you big week for me Aaron you lost those last week you absolutely have to pay up but at the right that things are going You will have lost more rights on the week that this comes out. So that's good news. But sorry about that millipede situation. Can I tell you, can I tell you my favorite part about that ruling,
Starting point is 00:08:30 my absolute favorite part about that ruling? One of the only Supreme Court rulings that they didn't leave the door open for was interracial marriage. So me, I'm still living it up large here at this house because as long as Clarence Thomas is married to a white lady, interracial marriage is still on the table. So I want to give a big, hey,
Starting point is 00:08:47 little shout out to Mr. Clarence Thomas! No, no, that horrible. Anyway, speaking of being trapped somewhere, do you want to start some riddles? Yeah, that's right. That mysterious rich man trapped us in his basement. We have to answer riddles every Monday until we die Mysterious meant it's you Adel we know it's you you it's no no no No, no, I'm the only one who can go upstairs and talk to the very handsome very tall very muscular rich mysterious man very young as well We know you go up there eat a yogurt laugh about how you've trapped us here and then you come back down.
Starting point is 00:09:25 No, because you come back down here covered in yogurt. What? I gotta say it. I gotta say it. I gotta say it. I gotta say it. I gotta say it. I gotta say it.
Starting point is 00:09:35 I gotta say it. I gotta say it. I gotta say it. I gotta say it. I gotta say it. I gotta say it. I gotta say it. I gotta say it.
Starting point is 00:09:43 I gotta say it. I gotta say it. I gotta say it. I gotta say it. I gotta say it. I gotta say it. because right now what you're doing is you're going all over yourself yogurt. So TPC's search history, millipede, centipede goger. Hold on a minute. Point of contention. Wouldn't yogurt on the go be yoga? I mean, if you want to get sued, sure. No, yo, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go,ush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh it all with the other way for you. You go go you go go. Go go go go. You go you go go go. Hey excuse me man what is your shirt made? I don't know. I was writing go cards with the go go go go go go go. You go go go go go.
Starting point is 00:10:38 I do want to give it up. Let's just take a brief pause, a brief moment to celebrate and really applaud the mad men in advertising who come up with all these yogurt names. Fajee, Chico Bonnie, whatever that is. Yo play. Yo play, gogert. These all sound like names for like sex rooms
Starting point is 00:11:01 in a hotel or something. Oh yeah. You like to go to the room. That's my way, but I want to get to go-girt room if you don't mind. So, this is a peak behind the kind of hotels that Adel and Stagin, that they have a your play room? A sex room. Oh, sorry.
Starting point is 00:11:17 I got a really good room. The room is to your left. The room is yours. You can do with it as you please. If you want to fuck it there, I'm not some millipede, I'm not going to tell you where to suck and fuck like you can do whatever you want. Exactly. Aaron, legally you are old man puzzles today.
Starting point is 00:11:36 Fine, for now, let's see how this goes. Do you want to toss us some freaking hardballs? Yeah, these riddles come from Sterling. And Sterling said such nice things in their email, and I will show it to you guys after we record. I thought these were really clever and a fun creative concept. So I've taken a number of fonts and typefaces that you might or might not be familiar with
Starting point is 00:12:04 and rephrase them to be confusing and weird. So if you can figure out the font I mean, how familiar with fonts are you? Not very. I know Newt Courier and Helveki and I think that's Times Newt. Times Newt Robin. Wingdings. These also sound like sex rooms. My man knows wingdings of course. You got to know winged things. What about Comic Sans? You don't Comic Sans. Oh, I know Comic Sans. I'll wait, Adela, let me see if I can give you a hint
Starting point is 00:12:29 for another one. I actually don't know if you said it, The first one is a bell tied to a bird. Bell tied to a bird. Now, Bell was famously in a mansion with a feather duster, which feathers come from. Yeah, there's always bells. Bell tied to a bird would be a ring ding. Wing ding.
Starting point is 00:12:59 A wing ding. Wing ding. When you said that one, huh? Yeah. Okay, good, good. Wing ding. A freshly made hour glass from the historical Mediterranean First we made our glass right straight from the kitchen
Starting point is 00:13:14 Now this one I think would be times New Roman right? Yep. Okay. Is that fun? Yes. That's very fun I'll stand up comedian who suffered a loss a stand-up comedian who suffered a loss. Comic Sans. Yeah. Can I get the pasta sans, Parmesan? Pasta sans. I'd like to see a scene. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:34 Uh, JPC, you are a stand-up comedian who just got terrible news right before they went on to the stage. And Adel, whenever you're ready, you can be a heckler. Hmm. He did, he did what? Welcome to the stage! Well, I gotta go- Hey everybody! How that lady ran by announcing something. Hey everybody, just to get ahead of it, my name is Louis GK. I just heard the news. Oh, hold on, I'm a Dracula.
Starting point is 00:14:08 Ooh. That's me just taking a sip. Okay, of my drink. First of all, I hate playing these fucking nowhere clubs. Ooh. I just want to get on top of it. I'm gonna be doing some comedy for you today, but I'm not that guy.
Starting point is 00:14:23 I'm not the one that you all might be thinking of. That's, that's a completely different. I just heard about that guy, and that guy seems like real bad news. Apparently, still do it on like all the shows, like a lot of shows. Which is fucking wild. Yeah, he's banned from the Fajet Factory, which is where you're at now. Okay. I'm sorry. So is it? it's Dracula is probably a room primarily full of Dracula's and a yogurt factory. And you told me you told me to tell me to tailor my set to this. So I really need this $500. I hope he does something on coffins. I hope he does something on the hood. I can hear them. I didn't have anything on coffins or blood. I was looking at my blood. I can hear them.
Starting point is 00:15:03 I didn't have anything on coffins or blood. So quick, the sun is coming up. Oh, I am getting the sun. I am getting the sunlight, put it back on the roof. How'd I do, baby? I killed all the Dracula's. See.
Starting point is 00:15:19 Oh, there's a bunch of Dracula's, not a bunch of vampires. There's a ton of Dracula's. You were sans-helcing. Sans-helcing. Sans means without, Yeah. It's like the foot of the text or something, right? Like the thing that like,
Starting point is 00:15:34 the, a serif is a flourish and sans-serif is without the flourish, is that right? A serif is in charge of a small town, that's basically in the wild west. A cab of course. Oh, Marsh, sheriff. I, yeah, I only know Sans is like the, I know in like restaurant terms of like
Starting point is 00:15:49 a salad sans pecans. What's that? It just means a salad sans pecans. Sans pecans. A salad sans pecans. Hold on. A salad sans pecans. A salad sans pecans.
Starting point is 00:16:01 A salad sans pecans. Children, a salad sans pecans. A salad sans pecans. A salad sans pecans. So I know that as just like that. I know that. I know that. I know that. I know that. I know that. I know that. I know that. I know that.
Starting point is 00:16:10 I know that. I know that. I know that. I know that. I know that. I know that. I know that. I know that.
Starting point is 00:16:18 I know that. I know that. I know that. I know that. I know that. I know that. I know that. I know that. I know that. restaurant term, but I know the diner term. Yeah, together we know a lot. Ha, ha, ha. You at your eggs, I'll eat my fog rough.
Starting point is 00:16:28 Visit to the combination optometrist in OBGYN. At the combination pizza hut in front of the world. And this is a five. So it's a combination between, it's a, what is it? It's a podiatrist in OBGYN optometrist. So I, So I doctor.
Starting point is 00:16:45 Sorry, optometrist, and what was the second one? OBGYN. Automatrist. So I. So I doctor. Sorry. Automatrist and what was the second one? OBGYN. OBGYN. OBGYN. Lens vagina. Wow. Da da da da.
Starting point is 00:16:55 Yeah. Yeah. We've been trying to get you to say Lens vagina for 207 episodes. And he finally did a JPC. What did he win? I bet you're thinking, what's going on here? Yeah, that's me. I'm Lynn and this is my vagina
Starting point is 00:17:11 It's like Charlie's angels lens vaginas. What did he win? He gets to spin the wheel of Responsibilities and did it did it did it did it did it did it you have to call someone's dad on their birthday Yeah You have to call someone's dad on their birthday. Oh, yeah. Again, the wheel of responsibility is not good. Never want to have one of these responsibilities, but that's what you would. So, Addles guess vagina lens, which blood to see that font.
Starting point is 00:17:35 Why one or that one? That sounds insane. Viginal lens? No, no, I said lens vagina. I'm part of it in my French. I, baby, a font that is I, baby. Pometrist, what do they do to you at the OPPGN? Papp, Papp.
Starting point is 00:17:51 Papp, Preca, Papp. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Look at who I, look at who I'm on. No, no, no, no. Papp, you have it's Papp and then something that's in your eye. I'm sorry, I just clarification for my, I'm sorry. Yes, yes.
Starting point is 00:18:03 For my, for my Nolikris. Is Adel at all closer with pap iris or I closer with lookie who huh? I say your equally is warm. It's me, John Travota, lookie who huh? Lookie who huh talking. That's hard to say. Pap iris, I get it. That's fun. Uh, cartoon turtle dressed in black denim and chains. Dressed in black denim and chains. Mertle punk. Goth Raphael. A cartoon turtle dressed in chains and what else?
Starting point is 00:18:34 Dressed in black denim and chains. So gothic is something it's like gothic. It's something gothic. It's also a founding father who invented the bio folk. Benjamin. Other. You've been frank. Franklin gothic. Yeah. father who invented the biofocus. Benjamin, other. It's your big friend. Franklin, gothic. Yeah, other things you've seen.
Starting point is 00:18:51 JBC, your turtle dad. And Adel, you decided that you're going to change your style as his son. And now you want to dress like a goth. And you're on your way to the school bus and your dad stopping you because he thinks that's not an appropriate way to dress. Okay. Whoa!
Starting point is 00:19:11 Whoa! Dad, fuck off! Slow down there, kiddo! I'm gonna be late, dad. Now's not the time. We're turtles. We're gonna be late. What are you wearing, Jamie? I'm wearing a new shirt by my favorite band.
Starting point is 00:19:31 They're called Taking Back Sunday. Well, I think you should taking that back to the store. Why don't you put on that nice red polo shirt that your dad got you I tried wearing that last week And I got my fucking shell kicked now. No Jamie put a dollar in the swear jar dad are you on trums? I'm fucked up for sure Love you all gotta go to work. I'm'm a rabbit zoom the hair always wins That it's not a race. It's getting to school Look Jamie you
Starting point is 00:20:11 Are very special boy your half your mother and your half me your father But you get to also be you I just don't want to see you falling in with a crowd that doesn't actually represent you my boy. I can't listen to this. Let me put on my headphones. I chimed in. Haven't you heard of closing a goddamn door? That's more like it. That's not taking back Sunday. Sure is. No. That's panic at the- and that's an older cut. Wait. Why? Dad, you listen to panic at the- and that's an older cut. Wait. Why? Dad, you listen to panic at the disco?
Starting point is 00:20:48 Oh no. I guess it's time for the truth to come out. Your dad wasn't always Mr. Turtle, and in another life, he was Pete Wins. Ha! And I got kicked in the head by a police horse at a parade. Oh! Did I marry a rabbit?
Starting point is 00:21:10 Had a turtle as kid? Moved into this boot, and I live in a river. Ha! Let's put a tarot pin in this, and uh, discuss further at home. Ugh. I think the kind of means really kicking in. Oh, I hope so. Old Pete Wins doesn't have much to live for anymore. Help my dad's in the K hole. Just a slow drip of
Starting point is 00:21:34 catadena. My dad's in the K hole. You Pete. Seen. Perfect. Um, the lines for a play about observing your surroundings before proceeding forward. Script, sight lines. What was the second part? Lines for a play script. The lines for a play about observing your surroundings before proceeding forward. This one's really tough. Script, observations, script, script, scripting, script, scripting the,
Starting point is 00:22:09 in the front half or back half. Script is in the back half. So it's something script. Something script, man, I wish I knew for a full script. You look around and then you the do's Move forward You'll yeah, oh yeah, you uh, I've checked for car blank what I want a blank I see what I want to see say what I want to do what I want to do dance. I want to dance
Starting point is 00:22:39 I go it's Sego. Oh, you'llgo, go. Seigo script. Seigo script? Seigo script? Seigo script? Seigo script? Yeah, you're not familiar. Now hold on. Hey, Sean, what type of bird drinks Pepsi and explodes? The Seigo.
Starting point is 00:22:53 I want to see a quick scene here with Seigo script. Aaron, you are applying for a job at all. You are the interviewer for the job. This is at a internet startup. Aaron, you are applying to be a programmer, and you have listed a bunch of programming languages on your resume that you don't actually know anything about. And Adel, you are just asking Aaron to explain her experience with
Starting point is 00:23:16 these programming languages. Right. Okay. So we're really excited to get to know some people who want to work at Flashback. I'm taking a look get to know some people who want to work at Flashback. I'm taking a look over your resume here. I see you know Python C++, Southern French. It says also here you know Cartwheel Plus and ABCDs. Yeah, of course I'm proficient to expert in all of those.
Starting point is 00:23:47 Oh, okay. Um, can you talk me through? Start with sweat. What? Uh, can you talk me through cartwheel plus? Yeah, of course. Um, I mean, obviously. Is that for real in the hair?
Starting point is 00:23:56 Oh. Hey, yo, well, yeah, obviously it's a program that takes your business numbers and turns them upside down and then right set up again. Oh, that's for flashback, that's exactly what we need. So we will, if hired, I wanna say if hired, we will probably put you in the programming department. That sounds pretty good. And that's probably the end of your questions, right?
Starting point is 00:24:20 No, no, no, I have a few more. So it says one of the programs you know here, it says Microsoft Excel, and it also says holding an egg in your mouth for two minutes. Yep. Is that, is that just a special skill or is that also programming? It's both. So I can hold an egg in my mouth and also for two minutes. And also it's sorry, can I just I just need to just step out really quick. Give me one second. Oh, before you go. And also it's sorry can I just I just need to just step out really quick give me one second. Oh before you go. It also says yoga.
Starting point is 00:24:48 Graming. Yeah, like yogurt programming. Totally. One sec. Hey, I'm sorry dad. You know this resume you made for me because you want me to move out of the house. Yeah. And you want me to get a job. Sure. None of this makes a lick of sense. I didn't read it before. I didn't work for Microsoft for 45 years with things that made a lick of sense. I Didn't read it before I didn't work for a Microsoft for 45 years with things that made a lick of sense We were building the future Kennedy. We were building the future What's the yogurt one and what's the egg one? What do they do? I was in a pretty deep K hole when I wrote this Oh god, just tell them it's a programming thing, okay? It's a programming thing Sorry, you're outside the room. Oh god. Sorry. Yeah, you gotta go back in there and you're there and you're dad's gonna keep sweeping
Starting point is 00:25:30 It's a programming thing. Oh, um, oh great. Uh, and what does that do? What kind of programming? How's this helpful? How is this behind you? Huh picks up cut from your desk throws it right at your face diversion Did I get the job? No, you broke my nose. Janitor! Oh, yes, yes. Can you clean up this mess and please escort this young person out the door?
Starting point is 00:25:58 To her new desk? No, out the door. Oh, out the door of this office? Are you doing it in two lapses? and letting it sway back and forth in front of my out of the door of this office to her new desk in the bullpen with the rest of the program. I was the rest of the programmers. I didn't work as a magician at Microsoft for 40. I don't say this but I don't say this far. Oh, come on. Come on. Be serious. Be serious. A janitor who's a magician? See, fine. All right. Well, that's going to be on your TV.
Starting point is 00:26:34 He's doing enough everybody. A couple more before break. A darkly colored crayon granted the power of flight. A darkly colored crayon? Darkly colored crayon? I feel like this one wants you to say, like, goffin. See, I think it again. Goffin, dark. But you got black.
Starting point is 00:26:55 Oh, okay, black and with the ability to fly. Oh, black power crayon. But the power crayon. Oh, black power crayon. Oh, black power crayon. Take these broken wings and look. Wait, black Ariel? Ariel black. Ariel black. Oh, that was an awesome punk rock. It got a little confused somewhere in there I punk rock the metal the the the the the world's meshed a little bit
Starting point is 00:27:31 What's especially with Everlovene and the real black and all that? Oh, I want to know that. Oh, math evolution. Edition primordial soup? You got it, the classic font. No. Can I play a new character called font Dracula? Yeah, I don't know if you're Dracula. Oh, Helvecchia. Is that fun? I love it. Yeah, I'm just like, Dracula Dracula. Oh, hella, Vecchia. Was that fun?
Starting point is 00:28:27 I love it. Yeah, I like that. I like that. A count is count part of it. No, um, fun with numbers. It's the name of a class where you would talk about numbers. Math. So that's the second half of it. Okay. Something math.
Starting point is 00:28:41 And then the first half was back to an era and time when Lizards were fish Yeah, it's something like that like paleolithic math. There's a pangea math. Oh pangea math is a great pop Punk metal band name. Oh Cambrian. Oh Cambrian. Oh Cambrian. The Australian period, yes, it's this. Perfect. Well, we're gonna go on the fastest little break. It's gonna be so quick. See you back in music. Hey, uh, JPC, you know how I love he looks sleep. I love that he looks mattress brand. Uh,
Starting point is 00:29:38 best nights sleep in my life. I know not everyone is on board yet, so I secured life. I know not everyone is on board yet, so I secured award-winning sleeper. Merrill Sleep. She's right behind that door. Merrill Sleep. Wow, she won the golden pillow. For best sleep. That's right. Hey, Merrill. Hello, yes, hello, yes, I'm very well-rested after sleeping on my midnight lux, Helix mattress. Good to see you. Good to see you. Your naps are stunning. I just wanted you to tell people about Helix sleep, how the Helix lineup offers 20 unique mattresses,
Starting point is 00:30:14 including the award-winning lux collection. The newly released Helix Elite collection, a mattress design for big and tall sleepers, even a mattress made just for kids. Mm-hmm. mm-hmm. Yeah, and Helix knows there's no better way to test out a new mattress than by sleeping on it in your own home.
Starting point is 00:30:30 That's why they offer a 100 night trial in a 10 to 15 year warranty to try out the new Helix mattress. Who do you, who, who did I think you were? Maybe I'm asleep. I don't know. I'm Meryl Sleep, and I know everybody is unique, and everybody sleeps differently. I just recommend taking the Helix Sleep quiz and you can figure out what mattress is
Starting point is 00:30:51 right cheap for you. I don't know if you're a side sleeper or you sleep hot or cold or if you sleep like me. Meryl Sleep. Yeah, choosing the right mattress is a real Sophie's decision. But don't just take our word for it or Meryl Sleep's word for it. He looks has been awarded the number one mattress picked by GQ and Wired Magazine. It was even recommended by multiple leading chiropractors and doctors of sleep medicine. I don't think I thought you were the person that you were talking about.
Starting point is 00:31:19 Oh, she's doing it. What a performance. He looks mattresses all come with a 10 to 15 year warranty depending on the model. Oh, stunning. Yeah, look, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to helixsleep.com slash riddle. This is their best offer yet
Starting point is 00:31:39 and it will not last long with Helix better sleep starts now. Go ahead and give her the Academy of Snor, the Snor. Academy of Snor. You know what? You mean the Academy of Snor. Glint close to falling asleep, that's why I got you. Oh yeah, I got that a lot. Hey Adel, hey, Aaron, I got a bone to pick
Starting point is 00:31:59 with the two of you. Sure, yeah, wore the skeleton outfit just because I figured this was coming. Happy Halloween a few months early. It's not yet the... What is it? So you know how the two of you, I was like, guys, I am always so hungry for lunches and dinners and the like and you, jokers, told me, oh, JPC, it's okay, all you have to do is
Starting point is 00:32:21 take some, you know, American paper currency, tape it to your front door, close the door, and then wait until someone brings you food. Well, I kept opening the door and the money was gone. So I had to tape more money to my door. I think you're thinking, you're gonna work out all. Oh, door cash. Door cash. Yeah, you did door cash.
Starting point is 00:32:40 We told you door dash is the number one thing to you. What the heck? With door dash, the number one thing to you. What the hunk? With door dash, you'll enjoy next level convenience with delivery in the hour, making it easier than ever to get whatever you want delivered to your house, whether that be back to school supplies or whatever it is that you eat. JPC, which I don't know, what you eat.
Starting point is 00:33:00 I eat back to school supplies. JPC, all your favorite retail, grocery, and convenience stores are on the app so you can chop everything, your kids, your dogs, your family, might need for back to school. And hey, personally, just yesterday, I bought some marshes homemade premium quality buck eyes, you know, those candies that are chocolate stuffed with peanut butter. I just got those from DoorDash and they were on my porch within 20 minutes and it's very dangerous because they're delicious. Did you fill your belly and your pantry?
Starting point is 00:33:31 Uh, yes. Did you fill your backpack? I did. Okay, well then DoorDash has come again for the gold. I remember distinctively the stress of going back to school and going from store to store to get all my favorite snacks and Pencils and pencil cases and all the things that I needed me and my siblings and I remember how stressed my mom was and I know that you would have loved To have door dash so she could be prepared before the big Back to school day arrived so you can stock up with go-to breakfast lunchbox staples and brands that you love don't eat my school supplies
Starting point is 00:34:04 JPC. JPC, but that eraser down. Never school. Put that trapper keeper down. Your mouth is too small. Never been told that before. Shop door dash to get everything you need for the back to school season delivered right to your door.
Starting point is 00:34:16 Order now for stress free back to school shopping. Use promo code riddle to get 50% off up to $10 value. When you spend $15 or more at convenience, grocery, or retail stores on DoorDash, that's 50% off up to a $10 value. When you spend $15 or more, promo code riddle, don't forget JPC because you keep eating those school supplies. That's code riddle for 50% off your next order terms apply. At all, JPC keeps eating my gel pens. Thanks DoorCash. I mean, no, that's the one.
Starting point is 00:34:46 That one didn't work. That one's bad. Hey, JPC. Yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I. I just need to I'm advised this podcast is sponsored by Square Space. I'm not I'm not mad at you. We're pranking spaces to all one website platform for entrepreneurs to
Starting point is 00:35:13 stay in that agency online, whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Square Space makes it easy to create a beautiful website engage with your audience. And so anything for products that cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here. Come here. Come here. Hey, what's what's going on? I actually, I want to prank GPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like a online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace you can have custom merch? You can easily sell custom merchant-crate passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand design your products and production and
Starting point is 00:35:54 inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money What is happening? Okay, um wait, what's going on with that? Oh? Nothing nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from.
Starting point is 00:36:14 That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords or popular products and content on my prank website for prank activity. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for?
Starting point is 00:36:27 I can't remember what the website was for. Yeah, the website was for. Prank. With Squarespace engines. Yeah, with engines. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey, JPC, hey, JPC.
Starting point is 00:36:44 What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Adel? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey Aaron.
Starting point is 00:37:02 Hey Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. Hey, Rick, oh, Rick, oh, we're back. I said, we're back with me. Oh my god. Why god. Why don't we take that one again? Mid-yawning to you. And we're back. Take two. And we're back.
Starting point is 00:37:33 How was everyone's break? What'd you do? It was so quick I didn't have time to wash my hands. And what did you do? Went to Maine to Acadia. Oh, something amazing. So So great, great little break. Yeah. Sounds good.
Starting point is 00:37:48 And I could continue recording as long as I can as I don't touch anything. Because Adelaide was gone for eight days, nine days? I guess eight days, nine nights. And I didn't wash my hands that time, so. Gross, good. Quite the last. Okay, I guess I'll start judging you on every little thing that you do in your life. So. Uh, gross. Good. Glad that I asked. Um, okay.
Starting point is 00:38:05 I guess I'll start judging you on every little thing that you do in your life. I have absolutely in the room right now. I have absolutely in the room right now. What are you looking at? Let's take a look at the salt-saker on the fucking counter. So how about that? Also, no paper towels in that paper towel roll.
Starting point is 00:38:19 Stop looking! Stop it! I'm clean. I'm clean. I just ran out. Aaron, I gotta say, big fan of the the even though I didn't know a lot of them big fan of those font riddles Please keep those amazing. Thank you. So those bespoke unique home crafted home made Etsy style riddles coming Please send them to HR or podcast edema.com because Lord knows we need them And just did just that Joel
Starting point is 00:38:43 wrote some lemon Reddels you want to try to do those or we could just sit here in silence for the next 30 minutes Okay, no, no, I would love to hear Joel's lemon Riddles now I gotta say these aren't gonna be fucking filthy dirty Limericks, are they? I hope not and also bottle red bottle white you're having steak and fish. What are we doing? I don't want to hear I don't want to hear any riddles that have like blowing loads of chunky cuckoo or whatever. What else do you not want to hear? Like doing like a filthy miserable sticky. I don I don't wanna hear that. Yeah, yeah. Bending over to f***a Tommy.
Starting point is 00:39:26 What else? I would only hear a- Doing the splits and f***ing. Doing the splits and f***ing, I don't- Well, splits and f***ing. Honestly, if the answer is doing the splits and f***ing, I wouldn't be mad. That one's context dependent.
Starting point is 00:39:37 Oh, because that's not necessarily filthy. Doing the splits and pissing. I don't wanna hear a riddle about someone slapping their wet calves on someone's sticky, slick, s slapping their wet calves on someone sticky, slick-y-s**tter blades, though. Oh, yeah. That's not my type of riddle. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:50 I could do with half of that. Casey's gonna have so much fun bleeping these, however he feels good, yes? Great. Here we go. You'd say I'm awfully thin, and many chuck me in the bin. The lines on my face might help keep your place against me Dwayne Johnson can't win the rock a heart. Do you say cake boss cake boss cake boss you just hear listening for it you want to hear
Starting point is 00:40:15 Buss against me Dwayne Johnson can't win so this is either Stone Cold Steve Austin you'd say I'm awfully thin and many chuck me in the bin. The lines of my face might help keep your place against me doing Johnson Camp win. Ben diesel. No. Because it was in his contract that he couldn't lose a fight to the rock. Which is so funny. Yeah, it's very funny. Is this a full answer? Is this like a pun? No, it's not a pun. It's just a regular one. So what can I call that? I got a dead stopper. I got a dead stop by my man, Adam, on this one, because he asked, is this a full answer or a pun? So I'm going to ask you, what is a full answer to a riddle in your mind?
Starting point is 00:40:57 I love what I don't get dead stopped and someone else does. I just sit here and read my magazine and look over. Like a riddle will be a half an answer, and it'll be like, well, the answer is a blu- Well, typically we can just kind of shout out both stuff. The bullshit stuff, but a full answer is when I have to like really exert mental power
Starting point is 00:41:16 and sort of go in my mind palace and go in the laboratory and can cock to a special chemical that releases an answer that I have to then put to words and pronounce. And it is. This is gonna be one of those riddles where I can clock out for the last 75% of the riddle and say, echo and still have a 50, 50 chance again, right?
Starting point is 00:41:36 Yep. All I'm going for anytime I yell something is for Aaron and go close, shadow, egg, cloud, the color blue, paper. Aaron is a paper. It is paper. Hells, yeah, the color blue. Air is a paper. It is paper. Pels, yeah, you got it. The 25th anniversary.
Starting point is 00:41:51 Oh, yes. Oh, 25. No, I think it's like the three. Two. Yeah. Two. Hold on. Could anyone possibly ever know what the actual numbers behind it?
Starting point is 00:42:01 I got it. I got it. I see. I see. I'm sorry. Oh, damn it. The two of you are a couple. You're celebrating your 25th anniversary, and you each got gifts that were maybe not appropriate
Starting point is 00:42:10 for the year. Got it. Wow. What a wonderful evening. Wow. I mean, this has been so, so special. Yeah, the champagne was such a nice touch, and oh my god, you hired a personal strap.
Starting point is 00:42:25 This is just beautiful. Uh, should we be- And the carriage ride around the block? I mean, that- You said, hey, would you mind going outside and picking something up and then the carriage right there and it was just what- what- and the horses had almost no smell. Aww, babe, that's so sweet. You're so sweet.
Starting point is 00:42:42 You're so sweet. Gifts? What are we doing? Yes, and I have your gift in the kitchen. And I have your gift right here. So, okay, and, okay, give me one moment and... Months, yeah! Is there a problem with the entree? Shut up! Just sit down.
Starting point is 00:43:00 Just leave, actually. We're done eating. Are you taking hostage? No, we're done eating. You being around this long. Don't few. Just get out. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, one of you rob your tummy and say yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum get the fuck out of my head it was authentic alright baby um here you go uh it's 25 so here are some zinc supplements
Starting point is 00:43:35 wow you look a lot like the zinc supplements I bought that were on you know the counter I don't zinc so okay you get this man out of our house Yeah, I'm y'all me me you hired him you get a metaphor house Yeah, you did you did hire him right no like you hired him. I said you hired a personal chef Everyone on the floor. I got you divorce papers
Starting point is 00:44:01 You've been sir Pops on a horse floats into the moon. I knew there was no such thing as a grilled cheese cordot blue. See. Hey, the pilot, did you see that man float into the moon? Smacking. See. The guy, the process server that sticks around for three hours makes you a full dinner and
Starting point is 00:44:23 that is like, you've been served. Best of the biz? Best of the biz. I serve one person a day with papers. The title of this episode is definitely, I don't think so. Yay! I don't think so!
Starting point is 00:44:37 Uh. If you had to tell me, what do you think the 25th anniversary gift is? And something that we won't worry about for a long time. Ongx. Diamonds. Ongx. Oh, I thought you meant like an ong like a Egyptian religious symbol.
Starting point is 00:44:54 Ongx. Ongx or Obsidian or. Ongx. Oh, is it? Ongx. Ongx. Yay, man, I'm glad. On 20, 25th, that's a Drew blood so jersey, right?
Starting point is 00:45:08 That's the Drew blood so jersey. That's also what a doctor says when they made an accident. I drew blood so you have to say these things. So you mad at me? Are you mad at me? I think that every couple, I think they should say, fuck whatever tradition tells you is the, you know, anniversary, whatever. So you make it, if you make it to one year in your anniversary, you should sit down and
Starting point is 00:45:32 be like, look, let's plan out the next 50. We'll both agree on what the material is and we'll just put it in a list and that way we can agree on it together. So we're all like, okay, so 35 is coming up. We all know that's horse hair. So it's like, we gotta get together, we gotta figure out how we're gonna do this. How we gonna do this?
Starting point is 00:45:51 Of course, 41 is fibromyalgia. 36 is a big aquarium. 36 is a big aquarium. That's my favorite one. God, it's our two big aquariums. Maybe it's gold. Could be gold for 25. Rose? Is no one gonna Google it? No, I's too big aquariums. Maybe it's gold. Could be gold for 25. Rose. Is no one going to Google it? No, I'm not going to Google it. I know. I know that 12th.
Starting point is 00:46:11 I know that 12th is Kevin, you banks his laugh. That is the 12th. So it's force laughter. Oh, it's it's not gold, but it's close. It's the silver anniversary. It's silver. I can't believe. Can you imagine? I think 50s diamond. Okay. Can you imagine going for 25 years, which is a huge accomplishment nowadays in marriage. Yeah, big accomplishment. And only getting silver, which is second place. Gold is 50. Aaron, I'm sorry, you're right. I think it's diamond 75. I think diamond 75. Wait, did you think that my voice was Aaron's voice? Wait, what did I say? Do you think our voices are that similar at all? Aaron.
Starting point is 00:46:50 We have to get back to Riddles. Gps, hold on. Huh, huh, huh. There's two Dracula's, which one do I shoot? Neither. We have to use a stake. With four, it's no problem you're fine. With three, not as safe, not as safe a design.
Starting point is 00:47:04 With two, please be careful. With one, you're so with three not as safe not as safe a design with two please be careful with one your So dareful with zero just sit still and wine and they know that Yes Tickle my teeth. Oh, so gentle spaces the spaces between accidental if you bang a string, the cool cats will swing, and cold heart become sentimental. Did you guys ever have a tickle me teeth Elmo? Here's an Elmo with super sharp teeth. You have to try to tickle before it bites you.
Starting point is 00:47:40 Can you read that one more time, Aaron? Tickle my teeth also gentle. The spaces between accidental. If you bang on a string, the cool cats will swing and cold hearts become sentimental. I want to say floss. So this is clearly, is it like a mouth harp or a... I was gonna say a chromatic cup.
Starting point is 00:47:56 It's some sort of musical instrument. Totally. What are the... Bang on a string. But what... Your mouth and a string? You know, you're using your, there's no mouth in it. It's called my teeth, oh, so gentle.
Starting point is 00:48:08 Oh, an onion. Yes, a piano. Is it a cordian, the mobile? Mobile piano. Also called weirdals piano. Steel arms reach out from a concrete plane. Married fingers reflecting the rising sun. Humanity like blood cells, pulse and flow inside,
Starting point is 00:48:28 knives stabbing the clouds. I want to say that's Robert Frost. It's Robert. It's his poem, Big City Small Guy. I was not a Limerick, more like a beat poem. Yeah. Is this some sort of sky scraper? Yeah, you got it.
Starting point is 00:48:46 Sky's prepared. Yeah. I do want to see a scene. Oh, good. I do want to see a scene. So the two of you are architects. Aaron, you are the lead architect. And you are showing JPC your plans for a building
Starting point is 00:49:01 that you want to build in a city. But you're very poetic. you're very good with words. So the way you're describing the building is almost as if it's some sort of ancient poem or something. Glamour, personhood, a little bit of luck and a little bit of glass. Why do we look down when we could look up? Hi.
Starting point is 00:49:30 I'm Claire and I design buildings next slide. I'm sorry. Are you on a call? I can come back. Oh no, I'm talking to you. You're talking to me. Okay. Yeah, we've been talking about a bunch of times.
Starting point is 00:49:40 No, you just introduced yourself. We've been a bunch of times. I'm Rory. Glamour. Oh. Personnel. Sure. I'm Claire. I make buildings. Yeah, I yeah. We want next slide. We want people. Should I be hitting next slide? Yeah. There's not a computer open in this room. Next slide. Okay, sure. I want to design something so beautiful that it will inspire people to stop, even if they're on their way to work.
Starting point is 00:50:16 A building is not just a building. It's also a skyscraper. It's also a place where small rooms next slide. Next slide. I don't know. I'm just hitting the desk. I'm just tapping the desk. Hey, Frank, on the call here,
Starting point is 00:50:32 loving the pitch so far, I do want to remind the two of you that this is for a Best Buy. Great. Our budget, our budget is basically to repurpose a circuit city. Yeah, and I just can't say. Innovation. We just have a big, we just have a big delivery of steel and concrete and
Starting point is 00:50:49 they just asked me to come and ask you where to put it. Oh, dreaming big and coming together as a community. Next slide. In the pit. I don't, what in the pit? Yeah, just put them in the pit. Uh, I'm, Frank, I'm sorry I'm sorry, you're for Best by Corporate. No one's ever fallen in love with the building until now. See. Ha ha ha ha. Aaron, that was almost, if I close my eyes, that was basically lifted from madmen.
Starting point is 00:51:15 That was what you know. You're a very good pitch. You are very channelling, uh, channelling your inner Don dropper. Don? Well, I look like him, so why not? That's true. Working at Beverly, we have Dan Dreeber. Uh huh. I look at the movie, I look like him, so why not? That's true. Working at Beverly, we have Dan's labor. Oh, I'm looking to move, but I want to do a driver.
Starting point is 00:51:29 Oh, that should be space to be a circus shooter. My name's Dan and we're a Jones. I wanted to do it. I'm Dan and I'm Jones. It's you who are here to be a circus shooter. I'm Dan and we're a Jones, and I don't care about my kids. I used to date Jason to dig his. I'm smoking in the car. I'm smoking in the car.
Starting point is 00:51:45 I'm smoking in the car. Did I do 60s? I'm smoking in the car. And Bill Murray's brother, and I perched my parents. I'm Bill Murray's brother, Jordan Murray, and I perched my parents. He punched your parents? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:52:01 Oh, daddy. I give you the setup and you give me the punny answer. Addle. Oh, you're built for this. Whoa. Is this by the same person? J.B.C. you're also here. Limerick's.
Starting point is 00:52:11 Okay. Yeah, same person. Thank you, person. This is fantastic. Well, we did all Joe. We did our name or we didn't. Yeah, they're all Joe, which we can only assume is Bill Murray's brother. Billy Joel.
Starting point is 00:52:20 Joel Murray, who I think is the actor who is in Mad Men. Yeah. You want to piss his pants, right? Oh, who is in Madman. Yeah, he was one of the pissedest pants, right? Oh yeah. He was actually pissed his pants, I believe, a character that I'm going to show pissed. But he wasn't doing the splits, so we're protected. Protected.
Starting point is 00:52:34 A crime-solving swamped, well-enged lizard from Florida in a waste coat should be called. A crime-solving swamped, well-enged lizard from Florida in a waste coat should be called. So an alligator, alligator belt? No. So an alligator is definitely Florida. Would it be like scruffed migator?
Starting point is 00:52:54 Something, it's something gator. Sure lock gator, sure lock job. What's a waste coat? It's like, if I say it, old timey blazer. It's like it doesn't have sleeves and you Connected. Yep. This Investigator alligator. Yeah, you did it. Wow an investigator. Okay. That's pretty great Investigator if you see an Apple store get robbed you might get called into court as in I Witness yeah you might get called into court as in. I I witness. Yeah, no.
Starting point is 00:53:26 I love this. Holy shit. Joel, can we give Joel my personal number? Yes, I already did. And my pun hotline, my direct. If you have puns, send them immediately. No time is bad. When I threw away my dad's newspaper, Puzzy,
Starting point is 00:53:45 he said some... Horrible shit. He said some breaking news. He went through my dad's newspaper puzzle. Oh, he was a cross stick with me. Uh, he called it close. He used what he used. Sadoku words.
Starting point is 00:54:04 Oh, you know, but you got it. What what is he's he's great What a fucking family circus. No, you had it you kind of he used some cross words. There you go The night who was the largest when measured around the waist was known as Big night big nine Daniels The good night you measure a circle circumference. Yeah, circumference circumference. I would like to see Aaron Aaron if I may before we see the scene which I definitely want to see. J. B. C. And I asked very nicely we pleaded with you pleaded. No gross fucking answers.
Starting point is 00:54:43 Now if you take the France off the sensor what do you have? J gross fucking answers now if you take the france off this answer. What do you have? JVC Well, you have sir come Aaron and I don't think that that's very nice to hear a person say I don't actually like the way that that sounds and I didn't love saying it and Your sir come despite your sir come size whether you be large or small you are still sir come and nobody wants to be knighted by a sir come I would like to see a scene. I take that scene. I take that scene.
Starting point is 00:55:08 I take that scene. I take that scene. I take that scene. I take that scene. I take that scene. I take that scene. I take that scene. I take that scene.
Starting point is 00:55:16 I take that scene. I take that scene. I take that scene. I take that scene. I take that scene. I take that scene. I take that scene. I take that scene.
Starting point is 00:55:24 I take that scene. I take that scene. I take that scene. I take that scene. Yes, Quire. Must I address you by your full name? Uh, Jerry's fine. Oh, thank God. Jerry, I want to be a knight as brave and as bold as you. I also want to be a hedge knight, which is a knight that curls up into a ball and runs real fast. Yes, but hedge knights also have to protect their coins, pets by pouch. Oh, yes.
Starting point is 00:55:48 And you'll never get coins unless you take on some of the big game. Everyone knows that in order to become a knight, come closer, Squire, come closer. Wait, is come closer your catchphrase? It is, yes. So come closer. I don't like shouting. So I think I'm closer. Yes, whisper in me here.
Starting point is 00:56:06 In order to become a knight, you have to get your knightly name. And you have to get your knightly name from defeating a creature. Like take Sir Dragon Heart, for instance. Yes, I heard he slayed a dragon by lancing it through the heart. Mm-hmm, he tried before to jowy it through the heart, but that's just me. Or to take Sir King Killer, for instance. Yes, he's the knight who finished all two of Patrick Rothus' books. What a feat!
Starting point is 00:56:35 What a feat it is! He's still waiting for the third! Keep waiting, Sir King Killer. Keep waiting. Well, I do. No, never mind. That's a road question. What is it, Squire? No, you're my Squire mind that's a real question. What is it squire? I?
Starting point is 00:56:45 Know you're my squire. I'm an open book. Well, I used to be the town cryer now. I'm a squire So I think let no one the town cryer shut up John. I want to know John's always dropping his pencils on over the floor. Oh, yes, just pick up the pencils Just pick it up solve your own problems So I want to know what did you defeat to get the name? Oh, yes. Just pick up the pencil shot. Just pick it up. Solve your own problems. So I want to know, what did you defeat to get the name, Sir Com? Well, it's not really what I defeated. Oh, but it's what I entreated.
Starting point is 00:57:16 And I, let's just say I helped the queen with a very specific issue that she was having. Do tell. I f***ed it, man. C'mon. Keep up. I fucked it, man. Come on. Keep up. I fucked your fucking brains out, dude. I think. What are you talking about? Is that why the Prince is your doppelganger?
Starting point is 00:57:34 Yeah. Yeah. D-d-d-d-d-d-d. So thank you, Joel, for those. Thank you, Joel. You absolutely rock those. I would love to play a voicemail. Ooh. Oh baby. Alright. Aaron wants to do it. Let's hit it. Wait for the beef. Hey riddle. Reddle. I wanna get the calls on the voicemail
Starting point is 00:58:05 And I'll replay and I'll hit play Hey, Monty, listen, our first time caller Love you all, I just wanted to hit you with a fact here Did you know that nearly a third of the times with the word banana is mentioned in the comic Garfield was in 1990. This is a comic that has been running since 1978 and yet nearly a third of all the times the word banana has been said in the comics is in the year 1990. This doesn't make any sense. 1978 is running since a third of the murder in 1990
Starting point is 00:58:48 Answer for your crimes Jim Davis. All right. Love the show. Thanks. Bye Interesting so a voicemail from someone obviously in a K hole We could not have known that earlier when we did that scene. Nope Well, I learned a thing or two I learned a thing not I wouldn't say or two I learned a thing I think I learned that same thing a couple of times. I think I learned a couple of not I wouldn't say or two I learned a thing. I think I learned that same thing a couple of times I think I learned a couple of times in that voicemail. I'll say that. I mean next time I mean a next time I'm at a party and somebody's wearing a Garfield sweatshirt or eating lasagna. I will definitely bring up this tidbit. First of all if you are gonna talk shit about my parties with your little sub tweets Just don't come because you saw the invitation. You saw it was a Garfield sweater
Starting point is 00:59:23 And a lasagna party and you chose to come and make fun of the people who were there. That's on you. You saw it was a Garfield sweater, and it was on your party, and you chose to come and make fun of the people who were there. That's on you. You think you're a Garfield? You're a normal. And if you think you're a normal, you're a John. And if you think you're a John, you're right. I, you,
Starting point is 00:59:37 who? We've gotten hundreds of voicemails, and you didn't pick one where someone gave us a riddle. Interesting. Ha ha ha. So that makes a bit of a riddle. I. Ha, ha, ha. So that was a bit of a riddle? I mean, I picked one that I thought that you would all like. And so that's the riddle, you didn't say,
Starting point is 00:59:52 give me a voicemail with a riddle in it. Can I have a voicemail with a riddle in it? Is it way too late? I like to say that I did a little research on this one, and I found that in 1990 was the introduction of a Garfield character called Banana Man. So yeah, no shity said Banana a bunch of times in 1990 because Banana Man never came back after that year. Yeah, man. I do, for some reason, in my mind's eye, I can see John wearing a Banana outfit. Maybe that was a thing?
Starting point is 01:00:18 I will say Garfield, Garfield, Garfield who was being Banana Man. I will say recently on Magic Tavern's Patreon, we recorded a thing where we in character went through a whole book of Garfield Garfield who is being banana man. I will say Recently on magic taverns patreon we recorded a thing where we in character went through a whole book of Garfield comics And I got to say as a kid. I thought I like Garfield It's very bad a lot of it is three panels the first panel is like Garfield smiling The next panel is like Garfield killing Odie and then the third panel is like John being like come on man And it's not it's not funny, not of it is funny. I don't necessarily know that- We don't say that out loud.
Starting point is 01:00:49 I don't know if it was supposed to be funny. I think there's probably some funny stuff. I just think like with anything having to do so much Garfield, the hit rate has to be so low because there's just so much. But I remember as a kid being like fucking Garfield owns and then reading this as an adult, I'm like, this is awful. And I feel like, I still feel like far side holds up.
Starting point is 01:01:10 And I still feel like Calvin and Hobbes holds up, but the rest of it I think is very bad. I have a horrible, what's the one that's like the cat or something that- Heathcliff? Is it Heathcliff? There's one of them that like the guy who did it died and then like gave it to his son to do
Starting point is 01:01:26 and his son just does like, Oh weird. They're just like, I think it might be Heathcliff and I think it might just be like random fucking non-sequitors that he's just like, why not put this into the thing? No one's looking at these anyway. But I could be wrong about it being Heathcliff. And I'm not too sure about Jim Davis
Starting point is 01:01:44 but I do know that what's the one, what's the, I remember sky Adam sky Adams the Dilbert guy is like a piece of shit Right, yeah, he's a full full of like pieces shit So I don't know if the same thing became of the Garfield guy But after knowing that about Scott Adams I am always worried of like there's cartoonists. He probably crazy Fully Gary Lester. He probably crazy. He probably went to prom with a lost bridge. It is Heathcliff. It looks like what's wrong with going to prom with an ostrich?
Starting point is 01:02:12 Oh shit. I'm so sorry. I forgot. Well, that's what my date did. Went to a prom with an ostrich. I'm the ostrich. I'll describe you this Heathcliff cartoon. It is a woman sitting on a chair and Heathcliff is holding up a puppet of Heathcliff to the woman And it just says puppet Heathcliff likes you and that's the whole cartoon And it's just hey, it's just whatever you want right like that's he's got that reference to something Couldn't possibly be what could it be a Revolver's yeah, so I do I do want to say a full full throw it indoors of Heathcliff So I do, I do want to say a full, full throw in the doors of Heathcliff. But Collar, you forgot to say your name, you forgot to say if you liked the podcast, you forgot to say if you were even submitting it to the right podcast.
Starting point is 01:02:51 But we agree with you. Jim Davis did something weird in the 90s. Get the name as any brain, Jim Davis. Well, that was such a good voicemail choice. We all learned a thing and we're feeling better for it. Oh, Aaron, I'm getting a word that we have time for one more voicemail Love you all He might have just repeated himself and then he changes at the end. Yeah, yeah. Oh, comic that's been running since 1978.
Starting point is 01:03:27 Oh, yeah, nearly a third of all the time. Oh, the name has been said in the comics. Nope. Same one. The case is stop is the same one. It's the same one.
Starting point is 01:03:36 Do we know? Do we know for effect that? Okay. Well, I guess that may have been the same one. It's also get to probably be one of those things where we're never really going to know the truth was it the same one. It's really just impossible to tell. I have my best people on it.
Starting point is 01:03:49 We'll have an answer. If you have a Garfield fact that you want to submit to the show, you can always do that by calling 805 riddle one. That number again is 805 riddle one. Hey, Adel, do you have anything that you would like to plug? Oh, you startled me. I'm sorry about that. I would say, what's something I wanna plug? Uh, bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo know. I don't know if I can know I'm not going to play your game. So what you you weren't prepared for
Starting point is 01:04:25 the question that comes at the end of every single episode. Okay hold on well I will say I haven't played it yet but Anthony Birch recommended a video game to me called Neon White I believe. Okay Neon White so check out Neon White it's Anthony Birch approved and I also hear through the grapevine and the California grapes themselves that the new teenage mint Ninja Turtles game is supposed to be really fun. I think it's called like shredders revenge or something. It's like arcade style, right? Yeah, it's like a throwback to there to the 90s arcade.
Starting point is 01:04:54 So I'm probably going to check out those two games in the next week or so. I'm going to go ahead and say they're probably great. So play them now and we can check in next week. Aaron calling his shot. Babe Ruth and Aaron, do you have anything to plug? I would plug. I saw Marcel the Shell movie. Oh, yeah, I think it might just be out in New York and California, but it has a wide release soon.
Starting point is 01:05:18 And I really loved it. It, I think it was great. So if you need a little pick me up in the world, do that. Also, if you're looking for anywhere to donate based off of all of the nightmares in the world right now, reach out to me on Instagram and I have a running list of places. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:37 If you wanna do something, JPC anything to plug? Yeah, we got a five star review. If you wanna get your five star review featured, just go to Apple iTunes, make it a counter to whatever you do over there, and then submit a five star review. If you want to get your five star review features, just go to Apple iTunes Make it a counter whatever you do over there and then submit a five star review And we will read it potentially on the show. This one comes from that one other guy Says my favorite actual play podcast what a game if you're a fan of root tales of magic or not another D and D
Starting point is 01:06:00 Podcast you'll love this cookie take on tabletop audio play from the mind of Silent DM Kacy Tony. Fan favorite characters, Adel, Aaron and Lil Monkey Bones explore a land of riddles and puzzles after being cursed by the shadowy quizmaster, JPC. Along the way they befriend lovable companions like Uncle Santa and Aaron's repulsive sweater, journeying ever closer to the mysterious riddle court, where their curse may yet be broken. But beware, adventurers, for is not an answer merely a question in Mascarrade? Listen on, dear child, and find out. Thank you, that one other guy. What a fantastic review.
Starting point is 01:06:36 I don't necessarily know if that's the way the podcast is structured, but good enough for me. You got most of the stuff right? We should make an RPG. That sounded very exciting. I'm sorry, TTPG, PG13 movie. No, no, no, I totally agree. We should make a rocket propelled,
Starting point is 01:06:52 and then we should go to the houses, the houses of sitting, s***, s***, s***, s***, and we should use that rocket propelled. Oh, b***. You go, go, go, go, go, go, great. You go. To them up you go to them up. We're beeping up. We just beeped all of that out.
Starting point is 01:07:08 But we don't we might be some beeps on that. We might need some beeps RPG to me stands for Robert Pattinson. Gaga. Go. Well, Aaron. Yes, Adel. Let's see here one of my one of the dirty standards you could ever say,
Starting point is 01:07:25 um, involves a certain sort of out of this world's, um, components in the solar system. It starts with the J and the power. No. Jupiter. Bye forever. You go! Boxing with your hate with your... Hey there Chats and Box! If you like that, you're gonna love this week's Patreon. It's another classic chatterbox episode, which means we're answering your prompts! You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com, such as Hey Rital Rital,
Starting point is 01:08:19 by joining the clue crew for $5 a month, or the review crew for $8 a month. See you there! That was a hate gun podcast. Click the Crouper $5 a month or the Review Crouper $8 a month. See you there!

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