Hey Riddle Riddle - #212: Too Riddies; Didn't Puzzies w/ Emily Gonzalez
Episode Date: August 10, 2022On today's ep, the crew is joined by Emily Gonzalez from Too Scary; Didn't Watch and we are so sorry that we made her do riddles. Apologies, Emily! You didn't deserve this. But you all deserve to list...en to this because it's a great episode. So you get no apologies. But you do get a couple of kids begging their dad for a treat, best friends with an insurmountable issue, some fan fic for the ages, a confectioners competition, and a guy with a bone to pick with his college. All that and we even do some riddles!Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Special Guest: Emily Gonzalez Editing by: Casey Toney Theme by: Arne Parrott Logo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267 Chicago, IL, 60634 Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531) Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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This is a head gum podcast. And the world's been ready! One, two, three, four, one!
One, two, three, four, one, two!
And the world's been ready!
My feet beat your head with the brick dome!
Alright, alright, alright.
Locker inspection, locker inspection.
Everybody, line up.
Next to your lockers,
random locker inspection.
You should skip mine. Okay, Aaron, you let's go. Okay, so let's go. Okay, so let's go. Okay, so let's go. Okay, so let's go.
Okay, so let's go.
Okay, so let's go.
Okay, so let's go.
Okay, so let's go.
Okay, so let's go.
Okay, so let's go.
Okay, so let's go.
Okay, so let's go.
Okay, so let's go.
Okay, so let's go.
Okay, so let's go.
Okay, so let's go.
Okay, so let's go.
Okay, so let's go.
Okay, so let's go.
Okay, so let's go.
Okay, so let's go.
Okay, so let's go.
Okay, so let's go.
Okay, so let's go. Okay, so let's go. Okay, so let's go. Okay, so let's go. Okay, so let's go. Okay, so let's go. Okay, so let's go. Okay, so let's go. Mr. calls out every female student at the school. Go ahead and open your locker up, Adel.
Okay.
I forgot the combination.
Okay.
It's it with my elbow like the guy from Happy Days.
The fun.
The reading.
The fun?
Oh, and it's, and my locker's playing music.
What's happening?
Let's see what we have in here.
Mm-hmm,iddles, puzzles.
Now Mr. Reffy, you wouldn't be planning on doing a podcast on school grounds now, would you?
Uh, no, sir, those are books that I had my pornography in.
Yeah, pornography.
Okay, well, I won't check because I don't want to see pornography right now, but I'll
do it later on my time.
That's how I like to enjoy it.
Mr. D. B.C., I have a good authority that he does plan on doing a podcast on schoolgrounds.
What are you doing?
Now Miss Keif, would that be because you happen to have some inside knowledge?
Are you planning on doing a podcast on schoolgrounds?
You should skip me today. A principal Cohen, if we were doing a podcast on school grounds? You should skip me today.
A principle Cohen, if we were doing a podcast, would you want?
Please, to come.
Tommy Johnny, Tommy JPC, Prince of the Codes, a little.
It's a trap.
I'm young, I'm like the same ages, everybody, right?
Stop.
I can still hang, I can still hang.
Yeah, speaking of stop hang gliding down the halls.
Let's do this.
I'm gonna, you tell me how cool I am,
you just tell me when to stop.
Stop.
Give cooler.
Yeah, I move my head really fast.
So it always seems like I'm cooler.
Actually, yeah, you kids inviting me to do your podcast,
I'd love to do a podcast.
Yeah, I mean, if that's what it's gonna take
to not get in trouble.
Huh, so I can use my power over you, students,
to be on your podcasts?
Yeah, I think I've been a like high school.
This is a good message to send.
I'm Erin Geef.
I'm Adorefine, I'm JPC.
Oh, welcome to Hey, Rodeo Rittle,
the show where we hate doing that in front of our guests.
I hate it so much.
Oh, a podcast we were bullied into making in high school by our principle.
That is that is our story and we're sticking to it.
And we do have a guest today and we are very lucky to have her from the podcast.
Too scary didn't watch Emily Gonzalez.
Emily, welcome to the show.
Well, thank you so much.
I know the feeling of being in a vulnerable place with someone you know very well while
someone you don't know very well listens.
And you watch them listen and you go, I don't know what they think about this.
So you know, I'm right there with you.
No, Emily not to put you on blast, but I think I have to.
Just moments ago, I learned something about you
that devastated me and will give me chills and nightmares.
You're a fan of something you created called Cheddar Suites.
Will you please tell our listeners what Cheddar Suites are?
And Emily, if you thought that there was a chance
that you would get on this whole podcast
and go through this podcast without talking
about Cheddar Suites, you were wrong.
You were just...
Okay, yeah, fair and honestly, fair.
And I'm not embarrassed by Cheddar suites, I will tell you.
What are the chatter suites gonna be?
If you thought that I was gonna shy away from an opportunity to talk about my new favorite snack,
um, yeah, so we call it chatter suites and it's...
Anyone could do it, it's very simple.
It's a dance.
Yeah, that's 100% sounding like a dance.
You put your feet in the middle and you pant like a dog. You step back far and you ride a dance. Yeah, that's 100% sounding like a dance. You put your feet in the middle and you pant like a dog.
You step back far and you ride a hog.
Now you do the cheddar sweets.
It's a kettle corn pop corners chips, a kettle corn flavor of pop corners chips.
You may have had been exposed to pop corners chips on a jet blue flight. And you just throw some shredded cheddar cold on top of those chips.
Slose shredded cheddar.
Yeah.
And that's how you share sweets.
Aaron, would you eat that?
I would.
Do you have to get the chips from jet blue or can you buy them?
You have to store them.
You have to store them from every flight.
No, I think that's just most people's entry point to popcorn or at least it was for me.
Got it. But they're available at most grocery stores. Yeah, at 3,000 feet, their flavor unlocks,
if you will. Yeah, I would just like to point out this glass house's moment. You've eaten some of
the grossest combinations of things in the history of food eating. One time I put Flawgraw on a thin mint, it was five times. And one time you put a cold
snicker in the middle of a popcorn bowl because you are bad listener. Well, it's Snickers ice cream bar.
And I smashed it into some popcorn. And in Adel's defense, in Adel's defense, I was at his
house the other day and he served me a snack that was cream cheese and guava mixed together, and it was delicious.
That's a thing.
Yeah.
A guava cheese pastry, which those are spectacular.
Yeah, I think it's a Puerto Rican dish, but you take, you buy the guava paste that you find in supermarkets, like the block of guava paste.
Oh, I only know them from spirit air flights.
Careful. It's like the block of guava paste. And I only know them from spirit air flights. Yeah.
Careful.
Is there an air servant baked?
Yeah.
The witness will watch himself as the wife is a spirit flight attendant.
I'll do a little L.I. plug for you, Aaron.
If you haven't been a cafe tropical,
they do have a great guava cheese pastry.
Right.
So if you want to try this guava cheese pastry.
Emily, we're not only here to talk to you
about your bespoke homemade snacks that you have.
We're also curious about what is your relationship
with riddles, puzzles, lateral thinking problems,
as a kid, as an adult, what do you think, what do you got?
You know, I don't engage too much,
and it is, it's fear-based.
I think the idea of like, so I'm a youngist of two, I just have an older sister,
and I think it probably literally every sibling dynamic, there's like, you're the this one,
and you're the this one, you know. So my whole thing was always like, I have always thought
my sister was smarter than me because she enjoys things like puzzles and like it, she
has more of a logical brain than I do.
So I was like, well, those aren't for me.
That's for my sister and like the fear of being like not as good at them.
So I got a little bit of fear around riddles and puzzles.
There's a weird thing of like, and we're all, we all have siblings here.
I know just to relate to what you said.
I know there's a lot of stuff that my sister is very good at
that I stay away from purely because I'm like,
I'm like, oh, that's Sadea's lane.
So it is weird to be like, we can both enjoy or do that thing,
but it is a weird mentality to be like,
that is Sadea's thing.
So I need to carve out my own path.
It's very weird.
Yeah, I feel like maybe, I don't know if this is the case
for the rest of me, but like for me, I think because it's just the two of us, like there, you know, weird. Yeah, I feel like maybe, I don't know if this is the case for the recipe, but for me,
I think because it's just the two of us, like, you know, so it does sort of feel like we're
like, we had to be counter to each other a little bit. And there's plenty of things we both
do and enjoy. We have a lot in common, but there were some things are like, well, that
you've declared that as yours, and therefore it is not mine.
Yeah. Yes. You've planted your flag. You're simply in flag.
Yes, exactly. Let me ask you this, though, Emily.
How is your sister, your older sister at improvising?
Terrible.
No, she would probably be pretty good at it.
She has not pursued the rich, rich world of improv comedy,
but I'm sure she would be great at it. But it's mine. It's all, it's all
yours. She can keep the riddles the improv. Exactly. But she gets Jonathan Taylor Thomas.
Yeah.
JTT.
So yeah, the, the, what we'll do is we'll, we'll, we have some riddles and I, I tried to
gear the episode today in a, we'll usually try to do some like warm up riddles and I tried to gear the episode today. And we're usually trying to do some warm up riddles
into the more difficult riddles.
But then we quickly abandoned that when we were 200 episodes
and we're just like,
we got any riddles left, like whatever we have.
Are people making new riddles?
Like do people create new riddles?
They should, they would, right?
Luckily, we have some lovely, lovely listeners who who will create bespoke like handcrafted riddles
and then email them into the show and that is for the most part that is what we have today.
I think that we've sourced these from some pretty interesting places actually.
I love it.
We've probably dropped 2030k on riddles from Etsy.
No, we haven't.
I wish.
Eric, please, what are you doing?
Ever since you became a walker?
Wow, so somebody, so there are people on Etsy
who make riddles to sell?
I wish.
I wish.
I know there is somebody.
Someone must.
We would start buying them if people start selling them.
People will submit that.
Hey, listeners, somebody get it.
Somebody get it on that.
Oh, no.
We could be really occupying an issue.
We did have a couple of people who had written riddle books
that reached out to the show,
1% sent us their riddle books that they had in them.
And I was like, can we please just pay you for these?
And they were like, no, please, like use them on the show.
And I was like, okay, well.
So yeah, we're begging, we're begging
to get people money for these riddles.
Our listeners are dangerously kind.
Yeah.
That's what I say about fan culture. It's so good. Yeah. We're blessed. The fans are just too nice.
Ugh, guy. I would, could someone please be critical of us on Reddit?
Come on.
Like, what are you doing?
All right, so here we go. This is a Riddle. This is from Emily Sheher,
and Emily does give us permission to name me. Oh, it says yes
You may name me. So this riddle is from rocket
Sheher says long time listener first time riddle submission
Here are some riddles featured in the McDonald's promotional straight to VHS special the wacky adventures of Ronald McDonald scared silly
They're from a kids program, but only you could decide if they're warm up
real material. Okay, Emily, you that you could definitely count that as a horror
movie that should be. Yeah, I that feels like it's probably really upsetting
content. Deadstop, you're telling me in the from the 80s 90s, one is this from I
did not look it up and rocket did not include it
Ron is down
but speaking of not staying in your lane Ronald McDonald with our siblings Ronald McDonald is encroaching
right into
Jim Varnie's territory. This is earnest territory to the max
Now my guess is that it's it's got to be from a while ago because I don't believe that they use Ronald McDonald
in any promotion anymore.
He has been relegated to like the McDonald house.
Yeah.
He's an attempt game of hell.
Famous.
He's more sure and hell.
His makeup is melted.
If wishbone Medog is in heaven,
then Ronald McDonald is in hell.
He's not.
He's not.
So Ronald McDonald's scared stupid.
Is that what it was called?
Scared.
The wacky adventures of Ronald McDonald scared silly.
Scared silly.
Scared.
That's an earnest title.
It's an earnest like it's an earnest rip off.
But Ronald McDonald there is some riddles in here and and rock that did pour them out
for us.
Okay.
So here we go.
Here's Rockets first riddle. What is it that the more you take
away from it, the bigger it gets. This is the more you take away from it, the bigger it
gets. And Emily, the way that these riddles work is there are lots of answers, but there
is one specific answer that Ronald McDonald wants us to get.
Okay. Yeah. the Ronald approved response.
I think that might be right now.
You take away from it.
Should I say?
I would, yeah, I'd love for you to say.
I think it might be a whole.
So a whole is an answer to this riddle, but it is not Ronald's answer.
Ronald McDonald is looking for.
Hey, JPC.
Yeah.
Fuck you.
I think I owe Sarah's hang up her. I think I know the answer as well.
Oh, Adel?
Is it delicious golden McDonald's French fries?
Because the more you eat, the more your family is like,
I should have got fries too and they go up and order.
Oh, if this is branded, I'll be so furious.
It's absolutely branded.
Yeah, it's absolutely branded.
It is not-
Let's go branded. It is not-
Let's go branded.
It is not the delicious goal that I was just French fries.
But that is very, very, very close.
And maybe even kind of like part of the answer,
but it's not the full answer.
Wait, okay, wait, the question is, the more you take away,
the bigger it gets.
The bigger it gets.
Your happiness from a happy meal.
Is it like fucking value at McDonald's? We're just doing promotional content for McDonald's
I would like to see that happy meal, but happy are you gay?
Adel and Emily you are two kids in the back seat of your car begging your dad
JPC for a happy meal and you're using whatever tactics you can to try to get it
Hey dad, please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please You hate your whole life? I hate every part of my life. Claire, I hate every part of it.
Except the time that I get to spend with you two on the weekends.
So what is it that your dad can do?
Hey, dad, dad, dad, Zach here.
It would behooves us if you could fill our little tummies
with the delicious edible contents of the...
Claire, give me that dictionary again
Father take over take over yes Claire. It's me Claire
Our bellies would be so
chants
Overwhelmed
Unequivocally unequivoc, I appreciate you talking to me with such respect
Clire Claire it's not working. We have to we have to command authority. Oh dad get in our office shut the door
Hey
Leave your leave your arms at the door. Zork. I'm driving stop trying to climb into the front seat
And by the way stop trying to change your name, okay? It's not Zach your mother and I God rest her soul in heaven
Name to you Zc after my father.
Please respect the name.
I'm sorry, listen, Dad.
No, you're the same thing as the word, Zork. Take it, take it back.
Uh, uh, you're fired.
You're fired unless you get me McDonald's, and I'll piss in the back of your torus.
This torus will be full of piss.
Okay, that's the way we want to play it.
We will get McDonald's.
Yes, yes.
I'll go back to the place that I spend 40 hours working every week.
I'll go back to my boss, Nick, who is 19 years old.
And I will beg him for some McDonald's.
You'll see your dad, gravel, in front of a 19 year old.
Gravel, gravel, gravel, that's what the hamburger says.
Gravel, gravel.
He does it.
What does he say? I, grovel, grovel. That's what the hamburger says. Grouvel, grovel. He does it. What does he say?
I don't know, Zork.
Okay. The hamburger doesn't come into play when I but work.
Do you know Grimis? Do you work with Grimis?
Hey, welcome to McDonald's. What can I get you?
Uh...
Hey, Nick, it's um...
It's me.
Hey, you're fired!
What?
You're fired!
You're just a kid.
Well, well, well.
If it isn't to the loser and is two weirdo kids.
One weirdo kid.
Get on your knees and beg.
Dad, uh.
Dad, don't get out of the driver's seat.
No, I have to.
What the frame is?
I have to, I have to. I have to, we have to gravel at the drive-thru.
Nick, please. My kids are hungry.
How does this feel? I'm a sophomore in college. How does this feel?
You're 19 and you're a sophomore in college?
Yeah, that's right. I'm starting sophomore year. That's right.
Is that right? Okay.
I think that's right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Starting sophomore year. Yeah. Wow.
19 is young for a sophomore. God, I hate thinking about that.
Wow, one day I'm going to grow up in form of band called Alien Ant Farm and write a song
all about this experience, I think.
Nick, please, just my family is hungry.
I just need, can I please get a couple happy meals
from my one weird kid and my one very normal kid?
I'm gonna give you one filet fish that's been returned.
Nick.
You can return a filet fish?
You have to, actually. Ha-ha You have to actually. Nick, please,
I'm begging you, okay? Do you have filet away? Can we put that on filet away? This kid sucks.
I'll feed everyone else, but not this kid. He's the regular one. No. Wait, what? Yes,
are you clear? See. So, you guys are circling it. You're very close.
Okay. Is it a value meal?
It's not a specific item.
Okay. It's just the food that makes fun of us.
It's not the food.
The people that have the joy, the community.
It's that little box.
The clear box with the change in it that has, it's like for his little clown foundation
or whatever.
For the sick clowns? That's the Ronald McDonald's house. I think it's like for his little clown foundation or whatever. For the sick clowns?
That's the Ronald McDonald's house.
I think it's like homeless for the poor
for sick clowns.
Aaron, I think you said,
did you say the building?
Yeah, but I don't really keep track of what I say.
I'm not gonna have to roll that back at it.
Yeah, that's not possibly.
That's quite right.
He is out of my business.
The answer is a restaurant.
The more you take away from it, the bigger it gets.
So the more revenue I think that the restaurant makes.
This is a new based rental.
That is wild to be like, let's make a rental about McDonald's economic.
Let's make a, yeah, let's make a rental about how much many of these motherfuckers are giving
this.
It's the overhead children.
I think it's important for kids to understand that the restaurant business is hard and McDonald's
is trying to make a profit here.
Okay, I'm here.
It's interesting.
What is it that you can feel outside here inside and only see when it's full of dust?
Right, I'll make Donald.
Feel it.
You can feel it outside.
Yes, hear it inside and only see when it's full of dust.
Win?
Oh, yes, it is the win.
Oh, Emily.
Wow, maybe riddles are my thing.
It's all gone, Emily's sister.
Let's get her on the phone.
Wow.
Actually, yeah, riddles are my thing.
I'm at work at the hospital right now.
Could we please not?
They're mine.
Okay, Emily, you are on the board,
which is a concept that does exist on this show.
You are on the board.
No, JPC, she's awfully bored.
Yes, that's true.
Here's the third of, here's the third of rocket's riddles.
What costs nothing but is worth everything?
Ways nothing but lasts a lifetime that one person can't own, but two people can share.
Fucking smiles and kisses.
Kiss.
A hug, a love.
Love, yeah, for love. Yeah, Fred love
Emily you almost said it. I feel like you were not to say it you said I
Started to say a word our business the things we've said
And into the universe it get out of my mouth
What it is it is friendship you Get out of my mouth and into my car. What are you saying?
It is friendship.
You started, you said,
and then you said love,
but yes, it is friendship.
It's just gonna say,
French fries.
Happy meal.
I'm sorry.
It is French fries.
I bizzare on that.
It is French fries.
I do want to see a scene.
Okay.
Aaron and Emily,
you are two best friends.
You've been friends for a lifetime and something has come Aaron and Emily, you are two best friends.
You've been friends for a lifetime
and something has come between the two of you.
I feel like we need to talk about it.
Okay.
I just, I mean, I don't know.
Okay. I just... I mean, I don't know...
I'm just embarrassed. Well, it was really embarrassing.
I'm sorry.
You know, it was really embarrassing.
And I think the best way to keep it from happening again is to let you feel a little bit of shame about it.
You know, and just really appreciate you not like getting law enforcement involved or blowing this out of proportion.
Like I stole your identity and I like ruined her life, but like that's just friend stuff.
Yeah, no, no, you did, yeah, you stole my identity and you told people that you weren't me.
Uh-huh.
Um, and you, you...
Can I just say, I, because I don't, and I want to be clear about this, I don't care either way.
I just want to know who am I married to.
So, well, this is a complicated question.
Yeah, yeah, and I'm, and by the way, like I said, I'm so pleased with either of the results.
Well, see, that's what I don't, see, and by the way like I said, I am so pleased with either result. Well, see that's what I don't let see I actually
That's
As upsetting to me that's sort of the this and then on this is what's embarrassed sure
I'll be honest. This is what's embarrassing and and honestly, I think we should all all be ashamed. Okay, because
I can't believe I can't believe I married somebody
Who had already married somebody else. Yeah.
With my same name, thinking it was me.
Yeah.
None of us realized it.
We've been sharing two sides at the same home.
Sure.
Right.
I just don't.
In his defense. In his defense.
In my defense.
Why are you defending me?
The wig.
The wig looks a lot like your hair like so much so.
It's a perfect wig.
It's a perfect wig.
It really scared me the day I thought I was looking in the mirror.
But.
Can I be honest with you?
The wig tricked the hell out of me.
I feel like I've been tricked by the wig. That's why I'm not mad at either one of you
I'm not the wig manufacturer
You had to at least okay now. I'm sorry. I know I got a point to pick with you
Which is you knew you'd already been married? How did you second wedding without even if you thought it was the same person?
Why didn't that come up? I loved the first one. We had so effing much
I loved it by the time of my life. And then when you, which I guess, um, was shared, was sharing in the wig. We know it.
Came to me and said, let's do this whole thing again. I was overjoyed. And I still the guest list.
Yeah, I'm also mad at all of her friends.
Yeah, it feels like I'm being Truman showed and nobody's told me, but I guess when it comes down to is I'm mad at myself
And you're just take this as a compliment. I wanted to be you
I want all your money and I wanted your fiance wait what and we zoom out to the moon and
Ed Harris is sitting there watching it all
See he's such a pervert
We gotta get him out of the moon.
So gross.
Get that pervert out of the moon.
Those were from Rocket Rocket.
Thank you so much and enjoy your new name.
And I guess that's your fault for giving me permission to name you.
These next riddles, I believe they don't give me permission to use their name.
So I'm just gonna say that these riddles are from CB. Um, CB says hello riddlers, some background on these riddles. And God, I love it when they
provide some background. Mm hmm. Back in the early 2000s, there was a fan site for the Mario
video game franchise called Limby's Land. And it had an expansive fan fiction section where all
of the preteens would type out their dream stories. They don't print from print.
The following, thank you Adel.
The following riddles come from an ancient fan fiction
that I read in my elementary school days
called Four Hammers by Mario Fanatic XV
and they did provide the link to read the fanfic.
Please give credit to Adam who wrote that story.
So thank you Adam.
The print and it is a big place. I gotta read some Mario fanfic. You know, there's so much.
I know. Yeah. So many pipes. The premise is that Mario warps whistles.
Luigi, Wario and Walla, we are trying to recover relics and must solve
four riddles in an ancient pyramid. Three of them are good for starter puzzles.
And they're probably written by 12 year olds. It'd be nice.
And you may have answered them already. But there's one that's sure to scratch your
noodle. So we have four of those from an early 2000s Mario fanfic website that someone
that scratch your noodle. I don't think that means what they think it means.
Oh, no, if you're scratching your noodle that much, you do want to talk to a doctor or by
a cream. Here we go. Here's your first one. I have a nose and yet no head. I have two wings. Heavy as lead. Despite my wings,
feathers I lack, although no legs, I have a tail in the back. Put together, put it together,
and I can fly. Can you tell me what am I? Well
Well, Aaron, it's the best place to get chips
Yeah, I think it's where you can get some popcorners
This is a popcorners direct tie and yes the answer of course is an airplane
Wings heavy is lead. I feel like that's like I can't be anything else, but an airplane
No, right
And okay here we go. Although that might be what Sonic Icarus,
those heavy ass wings.
It's, yeah, those wax wings waged so much.
And okay, here we go.
The valuable I am that you know,
try to scratch me, you'll fail to do so.
So it could be a noodle.
Where it is for one to find me. What am I?
Diamond.
Can you see?
Is it a diamond?
It is a diamond.
Yes.
Wow.
When do all of the Mario characters start kissing
in these riddles?
Yeah.
Can you read the next one as a Wario, please?
I don't know that would, if a 12-year-old is writing fanfic
is they're going to be kissing in there?
I feel like that strikes me as more like a,
I think it would be exclusively kissing.
Okay, okay.
A 12 I think like,
God the idea of kissing a 12.
Yeah, that's true.
You're obsessed with it.
Oh, you're all you're thinking about.
I don't wanna see a thing.
I don't wanna see a thing.
JPC and Aaron, you are two friends in grade school.
You're both around 12 years old.
You're writing some fanfic that involves kissing.
And you both, you've never kissed.
You're not sure how it goes,
but you're trying your damnedest to make it sound realistic
in this fanfiction.
Dude.
Okay, type quiet or are my parents are gonna hear?
Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
But, you know, your dad is a gamer
and he has this mechanical keyboard.
It's so loud
Okay, um, their kiss was as dry as the desert
Oh, we just want to jump we just want to jump right into like describing the kiss
And I know I know I don't want to
It's fine. Hold on. I got my let's see. That's more like a bee plot
I guess we can move that up into the a block if we really want
Let's talk about kissing quickly Okay, no, I want you. I just don't want to- I just don't want to betray, you know, the story?
Because I feel like the story needs to be told, and it needs to come from me.
And from us, from us, what's it called?
Quite quiet down in there. I hope you kids are saving the cat.
Yeah?
Okay, that's my- that's my other dad who's a screenwriter.
It's so tough.
I mean, their love is pure, but they couldn't have less in common.
Okay.
Let me just reach over you and they kiss.
Oh, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look,
look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look,
look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look,
look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look
look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look,
look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look,
look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look,
look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, the kiss? You know, that's what I think we're really missing here, is the why.
Why?
Why does he want the kiss?
I don't care why.
Tell them to kiss and hug.
Quickly.
That's right.
So he doesn't, he because he's got nothing left to lose.
He's got absolutely nothing left to lose.
Hey, let me just reach over you again.
They rub on each other's bodies.
This is the best story I've ever, ever read or written.
Oh, okay. They rub on eacher's bodies. This is the best story I've ever, ever read or written. Okay.
The rubber is so good.
Bodies.
That's gonna make the Pokemon jealous, don't you think?
Mm, good.
Okay, um, okay, well.
It's up to the little losers.
You're writing your stupid book again.
Get outta here!
No, dad, we're not.
We're just gaining a swear.
See.
Okay.
Coming to ABC this fall, bully dad.
Give me your lunch money. That's the money you gave me.
All right, we have we have we have two more. So we'll get into these.
So, so I am confused. So these, these, these were in an actual Nintendo game,
or is just on a message board.
You're confused. If this fan fiction was part of an actual Nintendo game, will you
say something about Lemmings or I can't, I thought, I thought it was based on some game
or something. I misunderstood. I continue. It was, it was a fan site for the Mario
video game franchise called Lemmysland. So it's a fan site. So the fan site was called,
I thought the Mario thing was called Lemmy's Land.
I was like, what game was Lemmy's Land?
I miss, I miss understood.
We have such a painful, misunderstanding
of what fan fiction is.
Every time I talk, my wife was really into fan fiction
and every time I talk about fan fiction
on the podcast, she goes, no, you don't know,
you weren't there, you don't know what's happening.
Which is true, I don't.
I came across Harry Potter fanfiction, I think I've just told the story before.
When I was in seventh grade and I thought it was the unreleased next book.
Oh my god.
And so I used every piece of paper that was available in the house in print today out all 800 copies of it.
And then I started reading it and it was so sexual, so I hit it in my closet and my older sisters found it.
I have fucks going.
Yeah, it was bad, bad, bad.
I was so embarrassing.
That's hilarious.
That is so funny.
It would be even funnier if the book came out
and it was just that.
Like you had the advanced copy.
She had just gotten like a super sexual way with it.
I wish.
She's like, hey, the kids are 18 now.
Anything goes.
The room of requirement.
Uh-huh.
Here we go.
And I'll read this one as, um, uh, let's do, I'll read this one as Wario.
Who am I?
I am that invisible to your eye.
Except when the moon blocks the rest of me from the sky.
To look at me at any time.
A bad idea.
It would be you ask me, who am I?
You tell me.
I forgot to listen.
I know.
I got no meaning from that.
It has to be the sun.
And that'll got it.
It's the sun.
I speak War of Warrows.
Yeah, War of Ways.
Yeah, that is the sun. Okay war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, war, defeat. Use the letter that matches that number to savor. Add a dark fruit that
begins with the letter for flavor. Put me in the oven. Don't let me fry. Put me in
your mouth. Tell me what am I? Potato. It starts with F. Oh, this is a really scary one.
This is a scariest riddle I've heard in a while.
You gotta reread it.
Yeah, let's just go through it.
A creep.
I just love it.
I just love it.
I mean, like potato next.
Let it be potato.
Obviously.
I didn't listen to a single clue fully,
and I was like, I was just swinging for the fence.
We'll break it down.
We'll break it down line by line,
and we'll be able to discuss.
So here we go, take a number,
and it's a specific number.
One.
And add a letter for my name to be complete.
Add a number to one, yeah, G to one is gone.
Okay, so you're thinking along the right path,
but it's not one.
So, but keep that in mind.
So take a number, add a letter to my name to be complete.
Take this new letter, count the times it appears in defeat.
So if it's 10, if it's 10, we add a T, that's 10.
Well, but yes, so exactly.
And then defeat would be one.
So I see.
You're operating under the assumption
that it is one letter.
I'm not.
I'm one, two, three, four.
Okay.
I see. So take this new letter, count the three, four. Okay. Okay.
So take this new letter count the times it appears in defeat.
It's gonna appear once in defeat.
Well here's the thing, we could add a letter,
unless it's E,
unless it's E, then we'll open it up here twice.
There's unlimited numbers we could add a letter to.
Yes.
Do I need to know what the,
if I just say, okay, find it's E and it's twice, do I need to know what the word is just say okay fine? It's E and it's twice
So I need to know what the what the word is like come in there. Can I forget about that?
You can I mean you do need to know but I think let's just move on and assume that you got it correct when you said
E so it is okay, okay, so twice yes
Use the letter that matches that number to safer
Wait, what?
Use the letter.
Oh wait, it's over.
It's over.
We gotta be kind.
We gotta be kind.
Yes, because second in the alphabet.
Exactly, Aaron, exactly.
Oh, oh.
Add a dark fruit that begins with the letter for flavor.
Berry.
Yes, yes, exactly.
The letter for flavor.
And you got berry.
So it's a dark fruit that begins with that letter.
A.
No, no, it begins with berry.
The letter for berry.
Yeah, I guess.
Letter for berry?
A dark fruit.
It's B.
It's a dark fruit that begins with a B.
I'll tell you what I'm saying.
Blackberry. Yes.
Blackberry.
Okay, put me in the oven. Don't let me fry.
Now put me in your mouth. Tell me what am I?
A ruined blackberry?
So it's blackberry?
It's arid its pie.
For baby me, market with a B?
Pi is the number.
So the number is the number pi.
Oh.
You add the E and it's pi and then the rest gets you blackberry pi.
Oh.
And that is the answer to that riddle.
Wow, what a riddle.
Good riddle.
No, Aaron is a 12-year-old.
No.
No.
I know.
I am.
Rewinded.
He's kind.
I'm usually monstery as kindness.
Yeah.
I'm real suck.
Yeah, we're preparing you for the real world. We are having this kid's 47, though. Yeah, this'm real suck. I'm preparing you for the real world.
This kid's 47, no.
Yeah, this kid's massive.
We're gonna see a quick scene, Aaron.
We are, the three of us are judges at a pie making competition, and you are a child who
entered into an adult pie making competition, and we're all eating the pie that you made
and trying to be nice about it.
Great.
Mm.
Wow, what was your name again?
Before you say anything, I am an orphan.
Oh.
And my name is Dirt.
Your name is Dirt.
Can I just say Dirt?
Did the orphanage give you that name?
Did your parents give you that name?
Do you know?
By parents and your parents?
They both agreed on it.
Well, let's wow. Let's start with some positives. I'll go first dirt
I really love that instead of a crust. It was just aluminum foil because I really felt it in my filling
Looks at you. Oh, you have consumption. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. So you have a little bloody handkerchief there.
I'll go next.
Dirt.
The presentation, 10 out of 10.
I love the lighting of the pie.
I love all of the choices that you made with plating it.
I love the choice to just hold it in your hand
in front of us.
What's that?
The family that I thought was finally
going to adopt me changed their mind.
Wait, sorry Mr. Judd sir.
I'm sorry.
What were you saying?
Dirt me.
May I cut in for just a moment?
Uh-huh.
Dirt, you know that this is a county, this is a county fair.
So the winner, the winner of this gets nothing but a on their face and and it seems as if
you're really trying to I'll just come out and say guilt guilt us into into loving
your pine I just don't know that that needs to happen you know you did a good job
you submit yes yes I do it just about anything to have a smile on my face
oh sorry just to pick piggyback off Cheryl.
Yeah, you did basically just take...
Ow, ow.
Sorry, Cheryl.
Sorry.
Ow.
I won't piggyback, I'm sorry.
You know I just had back surgery.
Sorry, I said trying to do it.
Sorry.
Well, it's starting to rain.
I guess I'll just take my pie and go.
Well, Dirk, we're under a tent.
You don't have to back into the rain.
Just stay under the tent. And technically you wouldn't take your pie because what. Well, Dirk, we're under a tent. You don't have to back into the rain. Just stay under the tent.
And technically, you wouldn't take your pie
because what you presented was a pie tin
with popcorners and loose cold cheddar on it,
wrapped in aluminum foil, and that pie does not make.
Which I will say you show promise in the flavor department
that maybe we'll just work on.
No.
I like the flavors I thought they were really inventive
and interesting.
Actually, I was disgusted looking at it,
but as soon as I bit into it,
I gotta say, equally as disgusted, it's gross.
We can all of us can agree that the one area
that that dirt really excels with super flavor.
And if dirt could just say something,
it's pretty incredible that I added a different spin
on nachos.
We thought nachos were just gonna be nachos.
And then look, I screamed a different kind.
I would hesitate to call this a spin.
This is more like a maybe like a four degree rotation.
Like it's just a, it's more just like a,
it's like a tumble out of bed.
Yeah.
You know what, that's okay everybody.
I've used to not winning.
You're a good company.
Dirt wouldn't, wouldn't it be who you to walk in the rain
so that could wash off some of the dirt
Dirt are you are you making a little bed in the corner in the dirt? Yes time for me to turn in
You just set that caterpillar like an alarm clock
It's a living I love you good night
We love you to dirt judges judges meeting judges meeting judges meeting. Judges meeting.
Hey, do you guys want to go to? Uh, uh, uh, DJF? I hear they have a special for
motor potatoes. You wear with you. Ed, it's fucked up that you jumped on my back.
Hey, a day after my back. It was funny. It was pretty funny. Seriously, they do have half
apps if we make it there by five. Okay, I can make it by five.
I can have, I can say for just apps.
Okay, okay, let's see.
Should we invite, should we invite,
what?
Should we invite, let's see.
Should we invite, let's see.
Should we invite, let's see.
Oh, oh, here, let me, let me get a ring.
Get away from the candle, get away from the candle.
Let's see.
Dirt, dirt.
Dirt. Dirt.
Dirt.
Well, dirt, we're going to take a quick break.
Dirt, did you have a message for the listeners while we go to commercial break?
That's it.
Oh, that's it.
That's it.
Just a little cough.
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Oh, she's doing it.
Who are?
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That's why I got you.
Oh yeah.
I got that a lot.
Hey, Adel, hey, Aaron, I got a bone to pick with the two of you.
Sure, yeah, I wore the skeleton outfit just because I figured this was coming.
Happy Halloween a few months early.
It's not yet.
What is it?
So you know how the two of you, I was like, guys, I am always so hungry for lunches and dinners
and the like and you, jokers, told me, oh, JPC, it's okay.
All you have to do is take some, you know,
American paper currency, tape it to your front door,
close the door, and then wait until someone brings you food.
While I kept opening the door and the money was gone.
So I had to take more money to my door.
I think you're thinking, didn't work at all.
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Dore cash.
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Uh, yes. Did you fill your belly and your pantry?
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I did.
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At all, JPC keeps eating my gel pens.
Thanks, DoorCash. I mean, no, that's the one. That one didn't work. That one's bad.
Hey, JPC.
Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble.
I just need help.
I'm, um, pranking Addle.
And I'm setting up a website to prank him.
Okay.
Um, I just need some advice.
This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace.
I'm not, I'm not mad at you.
We're pranking Addle.
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I'm not going to be able to do it.
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I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him.
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What is happening? Okay, um wait, what's going on with that? Oh?
Nothing nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal square space website not a prank thing new
He's gonna do you and I'm gonna use analytics use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from
That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords our popular products and content on my
Prank website the pranks are too. Well, that's awesome Aaron. I'm glad you're using squarespace. Did you say what the website was for?
I can't remember what the website is for
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Hey JPC, hey JPC.
What's up, Vattle?
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Oh, she's back, she's back.
Hey Aaron.
Hey Aaron.
Can we go to grandma's house?
Wait, I've been pranked.
But how?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Okay.
And unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on who you ask, Dirt has passed away, so Dirt
will not be joining us for the rest of the podcast.
Aww.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's one reaction. That's the only reaction.
So you didn't have that reaction.
Don't feel bad.
I applauded.
If I may be honest, I just said it
because I felt like I had to say something.
So I just made that noise.
I feel like that noise gets you out of a lot
of awkward conversations.
Oh, absolutely.
So here we go.
We got another riddle.
This next riddle comes from Evan Her.
Evan does say that I can use their name on the show.
Be up inside.
That's Evan Her, right?
Yes, Evan Her.
It's as high-click word would be honored
if you use this riddle on your podcast.
I did not think this up.
I don't remember the source though,
and here it goes.
So those were in quotes,
and I do appreciate people writing
and sarcastic emails to us as well.
Here we go. A med school student is taking an exam. The proctor hands the student a bone
and says, identify this and then tell me how many of this specific bone you have. The student responds,
this is a femur, I have five. How can this be possibly correct? Kid was having a femur dream.
Ah! Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da He has a bag full of five femurs. This boy is a murderer, a femur collector.
No, it is not someone who has a bag of femurs.
So the student identifies it as a femur, and then the student says to the proctor,
you have five of these in your body?
No, specifically him or that's like the royal body.
Okay, I'll read it in a med school student is taking an exam. The proctor
hints the student of bonus says identify this and tell me how many of this
specific bone you have. The student responds, this is a femur. I have five. How
can this possibly be correct? I have five. Yes. This is a I don't
guess this. This is a this one is going to if this, this is a, this one is gonna take some brain work.
Oh, the student was a femur smuggler.
Yes.
A mule femur.
A mule femur.
Yeah, you can get maybe 15 grand per femur that you smuggle across the border.
And if it's a Canadian femur, that's 20 grand.
Ooh.
He's wrong and he failed the test.
That's good, that's good. The failed the test. That's the best.
The kid was dumb.
Okay.
Now, you are in school, correct?
Yes, fever school.
Femers school.
That should give you an edge here, because this is...
It should shut.
I'm a magic.
This is a very common experience that you...
Every day.
Exactly.
You're in fever school.
They head you a fever.
They say, this is a test.
Then I go, yep, that's a fever.
What are you studying?
Did you say I missed it?
I am studying merchandise product development,
which is like a fashion design and merchandising.
Oh, cool.
So very few, very few femurs so far.
But not zero.
So that was not zero. Okay, I'm, let me see, is there, is there, I don't really have any.
This is a femur.
The proctor gives him a total femur.
How could it be true?
But it is true.
The student is not telling a lie, the student does have five femurs.
Is it, does the student, do they have like a shattered femur that shattered in five pieces?
No, I would say that all of the femurs are intact femurs.
All of them?
The femurs?
Like a skeleton that you study on.
No, it's nothing that they're like, it's not a skeleton.
I got it.
Yeah, well, how do I put it?
The student was a sex tuplet and absorbed five of their,
it twins is not the right term.
So five of the other.
Okay.
You're not right, but you're closer to being right.
You're on maybe like a correct path.
Okay.
I would say the correct path is like a gentle turn.
And what you did was you jerked the wheel
like off the mat.
I'm nothing if not a gentle tune.
Is it like, is it based on something she, uh, here she ate like, um, no.
Okay.
No, not based on anything that they are.
That's a coin of lamb or something.
Yeah.
Yeah, they didn't just eat a bunch of fevers right before class.
Bone and lamb.
No, no, no, no lamb was consumed in the making of this riddle.
Can you give us a hint?
OK, we haven't said, and in fact, we have said several times
that we were been referring to the student as he.
The student is not a he.
She's pregnant.
She's pregnant.
When?
With quintuplets.
No.
That's not enough. No, so it's five fevers. She is pregnant. We're in the wind. Quintuplets. No. That's not enough.
No.
So it's five fevers.
She is pregnant.
And she's holding a femur.
So so she has two.
She has no.
She has two.
Maybe has two.
Sorry, the fetus.
The fetus has two.
How many fevers do you think a person has?
Two.
One in the head and one and a butt?
We I cannot believe we fell for this JBC that's literally the first line of our theme song The student was the mother the doctor was the mother
Doctor was forgetting that we
Could be doctor sick right? I know I just the problem is I never picture women as this main subject of any
So it's I think the medical student Not a woman, right? Get real, I'm pregnant woman, excuse me, she should be
Locked in a cave. Lock her in a tower, no letter of study
Yeah, I guess so, so Evan, you totally fucking bested us.
Evan says, I think you're all great.
I like your podcast very much.
We can be memes from each other, but you can't be memes to us.
You can, you can be memes to us.
Very.
Well, I don't know.
I just don't care anymore.
Children, riddle writers, everyone's allowed to be memes.
Yeah, everyone's allowed to be mean, and joy being mean.
You just have to live with it.
I want to see a scene.
We're going to see a scene.
This is going to take place in a college lecture hall.
Emily and Aaron and Adel, you're all in a college lecture hall.
It is a, you're taking a med school exam
and it's open notes.
And Adel, you have a big backpack full of
like bones and stuff that you're using as open notes. It's being very disruptive in class.
Oh sorry that's my skull sorry.
Oh that's one of my phalanjis give that back please.
Oh could you kick over that tabula?
Sorry I'm studying I have to write this paper on Shakespeare.
Shh, don't think that we're all taking it.
I'm just trying to think, could you please, could you please, please, please, please, please.
Yeah, no, that's fine.
Again, everyone has a reminder.
It's open notes, but it is a silent test.
So please, eyes on your own paper.
Oh, okay.
I'm just gonna ask, I have to ask, I'm so sorry.
How did you get these bones?
Well, I just have to answer I dug them up
Okay, I'm doing a paper on York
You know a last poor York I knew him well. It's where Hamlet. The whole paper is on your feet. Yeah
He's with unsung heroes of Hamlet. He's just a skull, but he was a whole person. He had hopes and dreams and a job and lovers and nightmares.
Again, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
You three up there.
Uh, excuse me, sir, what are you doing in this class?
This is a medical, this is a medical class.
Yeah, man, what are you doing in here?
Oh, well, medical students can be, this is embarrassing for you.
Medical students can be male. No, they can be teachers, uh, but students can be, this is embarrassing for you. Medical students can be male.
No, they can be teachers, but they certainly cannot be students.
If you're writing a paper for another class, you have to live.
Professor Matthews, I have a running theory that he's not even enrolled at the school.
Your honor, she said a running theory. This is a medical school.
Exercise has no place here, your honor.
Wrong, incorrect, incorrect. Sustained. I'm sorry, I know, I know it's really inappropriate, but we're all sort of,
you know, we've sort of paused the test. I just need to know your thesis of this paper.
I'm really... So basically, um, well, it's not, it's not like a...
Excuse me. Huh? If you're gonna do a speech, you come up here to the front of the...
...fart of the class and you do the speech for everyone.
Oh, no.
Find the quirk.
No sweat, King.
So, it's not a report, it's a paper.
And by paper, I mean a giant poster board.
And what I'm doing is I'm...
I've dug up this body, and I'm putting the bones...
I'm gluing the bones onto this poster board,
almost like when you dissect an owl pellet,
and then you put together like a shrew and you glue it,
so you see the false-gilton.
Yeah, and can you please put that poster away
It smells no I can't this is your
Alas I knew him well, okay. I know the life. Do you know any other lines? Yeah
Waiting have hold on
Hamlet get in here gun badge on my table hamlet. You're off the force
Professor Matthew we come to this guy's one bad performance of Hamlet. Hey mom
Where's hey mom?
Where's my collar that goes with my good tunic?
Honey, you're on stage. You're on stage
Just keep going
Okay, sorry everyone just a quick break.
Back to Denmark, the PU.
What is that fucking stench?
It's bad.
Is that fish?
What is going on?
Guildenstern Rosencrantz.
Rosencrantz, come in here.
Carolyn on the way home.
We're stopping by my lawyer's office
and I'm writing him out of the well.
Well, my name's Rosencrantz and I'm here to say I got funky pants in a hell of a way to tell you a beat about him
Let hey everyone get lit everybody get lit. Okay, start passing the blunts around everyone smoke up
Please this is interactive. It's like sleep no more. It's kind of a fun immersive experience
Honey, it's it's just mean your dad here. You know, we don't, we don't do drugs. Fuck. I would gladly smoke a blop right now.
Honestly, to get out of this.
Keep it in a place so bad you're out of the will.
Actually, out of the will is a great Shakespeare biography.
There are times I did worry that my parents are going to see me in a musical so bad that they would
bail on their love for me. We're supportive but this is too much.
Karen, we saw you as a backup secretary in Devil Wars Prada, the musical, and you're not getting anything.
You know, all white middle school should not be doing once in this island, Aaron, you find your own way home.
Aaron, we just wanted to let you know, we now love you as a daughter and not in the real way that we loved you before. Now it's the way that we have to love you. It's a laboratory. A book
of tour love. Okay, we have one more riddle for today. And it's, I got, I will say that
this one maybe is a doozy. It's Kevin's and do'sies. It's Kevin's and do'sies. Here we
go. This one is from Delaney S. Saul. And you can say my whole name if desired is what Delaney says.
So Delaney S. Saul, this is a riddle that you wrote.
This is, Delaney says, love the show.
Here's a riddle I wrote, a bell rings, a man screams dirty
fingernails claw the ground. What happened?
A bell rings a man sings dirty screams.
A scream, a man screams a bell rings a man sings dirty things. A scream, a man screams.
A bell rings a man screams.
Oh, it's a, it's a, what, Latter-day, San at the door.
Oh, sure.
That kind of, um, it's, it's, I did choose this one specifically because you do have a horror
movie podcast and this is the scariest run I could find, don't you know?
It's, it's terrifying.
Um, it's the thriller music video.
Dung.
Dung.
Oh, actually one of his songs has that bell, but that is a beat it.
How's the bell?
It's, uh, yeah, it's beat it.
I guarantee you investigating that alley is the wrong way to go with the riddle, but yes.
Okay.
Hmm.
Sorry, well, a bell rings a man's screams fingernails claw the floor dirty fingernails claw the ground what happened?
Oh, I think I know it. Oh, Addle I think based on horror films and a horror film
I saw not too long ago was an American werewolf in Paris. I think is the name and
What my guess is is that the bell ringing is the clock turning midnight?
It's a full moon and the man's turning into a werewolf
The woman is turning into a werewolf.
The woman is turning into a werewolf.
If the woman is a pregnant werewolf.
A woman was the mother was the wearwolf in Cobb.
The doctor was her.
She's a doctor pregnant female werewolf trying to have it all.
I want to sign that I might have to have my name on it.
I can't be a pregnant female werewolf and a lawyer. You have to. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. My name is... I'm not gonna lie. My name is...
I can't be a pregnant female werewolf and a lawyer.
You have to.
A female lawyer, am I right?
I love, I love, you are absolutely correct.
I love the direction.
It is wrong, wrong, wrong.
Yes.
It is wrong, wrong, wrong.
It is not a werewolf.
It's not a werewolf.
Bell rings a man's screams, dirty fingerna dirty fingernails claw the ground what has happened.
I do have some hints if you would like to hear some hints.
Does this have anything to do with quasi-moto?
That is so such a good question that I would say probably not.
No, probably not.
Probably not.
Not definitely.
Does that have anything to do with Ernest Hemingway?
Not in a way that would make logical sense.
Okay. I would say. you could probably get it there.
Here's some hints.
Well, rings, okay.
Was, oh, a hint one.
Was anyone involved dead?
No.
The answer is no.
No one involved in this was dead.
Or really even dying, I guess.
Okay.
We have another hint.
Okay.
Did this happen in modern times?
No, it did not.
It's not just, it's not taking place in modern times.
And was anyone guilty of any type of crime?
And the answer again is no.
And it definitely says finger nails on the floor,
because I know in olden days, they would wrap a bell around,
they wrap a string around people they buried
and connect it to a bell.
And that way, if they were not really dead, they were alive.
Yeah.
They would bring the bell and people would come running and dig them up and that's where
we get the term saved by the bell and the term dead ringer.
Oh my god, I love to learn.
Yeah.
So, Adel, you are correct.
Adel, you saved by them.
But you are out of nowhere after 200 episodes has a ton of information.
I learned this all from watching American were often pairs.
It says the answer here is safety coffins reached their peak of popularity in the eight
you can dance to see one of them.
As Taffophobia, which is fear of being buried alive,
a swept, a fear of being burned and taffy,
swept the United States, the safety coffins were often equipped with a bell
that connected down into the grave that the person could ring
from underground in their coffin
should they accidentally be buried alive.
However, horrifying.
There hasn't been a single recorded instance
of a safety coffin actually rescuing anyone.
Because I think if you were put under the ground,
even if you were all right here dead now,
yeah, like I don't know how much time you're gonna have to ring that bell
for Bebooty here at...
I mean, cover anything on your podcast
where anyone gets buried alive.
Has that been in any horror movie?
I do not believe.
We have done a buried alive,
but we have done...
The Autotsy of Jane Doe has the bell storyline
of the corpses have little bells tied to their toes in the like
in the like lockers like at like a crematorium or whatever
Yeah, and and they they talk about like oh, yeah, they have little bells on their toes
It's like nobody really uses it, but the idea is that that's how you can tell someone's live and of course those corpses use those bells
Scary Aaron. What was our Bee Gees bit? We had was it's half speed be to point five Bee Gees
Can we do a point five Bee Gees and do Barry to live?
When people sped up that bit when they listen to it because you know how people listen to podcasts like on double speed
They were like what? So they just heard us
because you know how people listen to podcasts like on double speed they were like what? So they just heard us.
That's right.
You're gonna speed Bee Gees.
Get it.
But I think it was something.
I learned this from a ghost tour in my camera was but basically saved by the bell comes
from that.
And then also I think dead ringer was like if you saw someone who looked like, so say
your husband died and then you saw a man who looked like your husband.
I'm listening. You'd be like, oh, my husband wasn't really dead. He rang the bell and they dug him up.
Therefore, he's a dead ringer, which is why you say, my husband wasn't really dead. He just
faked his death to escape. But that's why you call like a doppelganger, a dead ringer for you is
from, I believe from that term. My husband wasn't really dead and he never told me.
He just had a second family underground.
I'm starting another family of Columbus.
It's six feet under Columbus.
It's just in the ground.
Thank you, Julianne S. Saul for submitting that rental.
It was very good and it was very creepy.
Hey, and that's a perfect segue into a very creepy podcast
that Adelaide were recently a guest on.
Mm-hmm.
Talking about the movie, The Dead Zone.
The Dead Zone.
I believe that is out now if you go and find it by Emily.
Would you like to tell us about the podcast?
I would love to.
The podcast, you can find it on Headgun,
which is where this lovely podcast is.
Also, you can find it anywhere you get your podcasts.
It's called Too Scary, Didn't Watch,
and we just tell you what happens in scary movies.
That's it, there's a bunch of movies to choose from.
We do it every week, and the whole thing started
because I am too scared to watch most scary movies,
but I'm deeply curious, and deaths
sprintly don't want to be left out.
And that same is true for my co-host,
Henley and our friend, Sammy,
is brave enough to watch all the things
and watch his movies tells us what happens in them
so we can know without having to watch.
And we have, yeah, really great guests, join us
and take that on and tell us what happens
in scary movies.
So that's pretty much the whole deal.
I, I, I, I had a great time in that show.
We watched the dead zone.
We let you guys.
Um, and it was, uh, it was certainly something.
Yeah.
Yeah, you, yeah, we sometimes, sometimes they're not so scary.
Sometimes they're, they're scary.
Sometimes they're scary and like a fun way to talk about.
Sometimes, uh, I really feel so bad for like a full calendar day
after hearing about it because sometimes like hearing about
something is way more devastating than watching it.
I think it's just like imagination.
Yeah, you fill it in with your,
and you get to like really like live in the details
where like you gotta really like think about how it happened
and is that a plug?
Is that a promotion for my show?
That done was not scary, but it was a goddamn blast to talk about.
So.
It was fucking, yeah, it was really fun.
I mean, I just, I gotta have a story told to me.
Every week basically, it's pretty great.
I was too scared to go in the podcast for two reasons.
One, too scared to watch a scary movie.
Second one, I think I have unhealthy
parasocial relationship with the three of you now.
That I was like, if I go there,
it's gonna be a real weird time of me knowing
about their skincare routines.
And then I'm like, I can always get here for a.
And Aaron, you started a new podcast called Too Scary Didn't Guest?
Yeah, it just me sort of hiding it on my self.
And if I self-int into that podcast with them.
It's like a watch along, but for podcasting, you're just chiming in.
I've been refurbishing a table in my backyard and it's a lot of hours and I've been listening
to you guys the whole time I do it. So I've been laughing out loud. I know what you did last summer
episode, I think is my favorite. If anyone needs a place to start, thank you so much. It's that's that's a good time Aaron if you would like a place to start do you have anything that you would like to plug?
Check out sitcom D&D. I think we're back now for season two lots of fun guests
Check that out wherever you find podcasts. It's also a head gum podcast. I don't anything to plug
Yeah, I would say if you're not a patreon of our podcast
I would say join now we just release an episode on the patreon where we do a long-form improvised episode set at a
Renaissance fair with guest Janet Verney with new music by Arnie Parrot
So I'd say check out patreon hey riddlerittle
patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle
I'd also recommend the TV show The Rehersal, which
is very, very funny. And the video game Aaron that you told me about it takes two. Gemma
and I started playing that and it is fantastic. So, so fun.
Good. And then last recommendation, I would say listen to two scary didn't watch with
Dan, friend of the show Dan Lippert. That's my favorite episode because they talk about
Perno, like to be next to him.
Which Dan was the absolute star of and he talks about
all sorts of behind the scene stories and the children actors
and it is just a delight.
J.P. really went, when Dan got that movie
aside from just being so psych for my good friend,
I was like, yes.
Gonna get him on the podcast and he's gonna talk about it.
Crush is it in that movie.
J.P. see anything to plug?
Dude, as always, I'm seeding my plug time
to read a five star review.
If you'd like to get your review featured on the show,
go ahead and head to Apple iTunes,
the only place I know where to look for reviews,
and submit a five star review.
This one's from Grass Magnets.
Grass Magnets says I started with Uncle Santa.
I heard that this show was funny,
so I tuned into the most recent episode that'd come out.
It happened to be the Uncle Santa episode.
And I'm pretty sure you'll send the episode,
wow, imagine if this is someone's first episode. And I was like, oh my God, that's out. It happened to be the Uncle Santa episode. And I'm pretty sure you'll send the episode, wow, imagine if this is someone's first episode. And I was like, oh my God,
that's me. The show is delightfully chaotic. Though that episode may have been a standout
in terms of the chaos, I strongly recommend. So very weird that we called our shot on that,
but thank you, Grass Magnets, for leaving that review. And Aaron, they said that they started
with the Uncle Santa episode. We've done
so many iconic episodes, but is there an episode in your mind that really just stands out
as one that was just like out of this world? The sweater, just kidding, Jupiter.
Bye. Bye, femurs forever. Refinet, starting, guaranteed, and John Patrick calling.
Casey Tony to the editing, and already parent in the music.
Vocal created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Nemours.
Hey there, condolences and plumps. If you like that you are gonna love this week's Patreon.
It's a hey relationship relationship. You can listen to that plus our entire
back catalog at patreon.com, so I'll show you where to riddle by joining the clue crew for five
If you crew for $8 a month, see you then!