Hey Riddle Riddle - #213: Feather-Butter-Pillows

Episode Date: August 17, 2022

In this episode we set a record for “shortest scenes ever” and "most chaotic 10 minutes of a podcast ever”. We are so proud and SO sorry! Now, pass the penicillin! We’re starving! Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle  6351 W Montrose Ave #267 Chicago, IL, 60634 Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531) Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgun podcast Pop pop pop pop to the top should've been inside in my damn rhythm Aaron was that high school musical What are you Oh, no, oh no you guys we can't do an episode please! I already know that I'm not gonna be funny I couldn't think of anything to say! Oh no, no, no! That's not true! You thought of the lyrics to high school musical kind of? Oh god! God, stay with me! Stay with me in this recording. I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm stupid, I'm stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm not man. I'm sorry. I thought I thought you were his wife play along. S'fella play along me and my wife are in the middle of something that we Explained but you should be able to pick up with context clues. I see I'm locked in the sands. I

Walked in a some sort of role play where you're a human man and your pants and somehow that's gets you off Saying the quiet part out loud. I see come on in Okay, I'm gonna dump this glitter into your carpet if you don't mind there. We go dump dump dump I don't mind it'll be right at home with all the other glitter. We've dumped it into the carpet. Oh, yes There's quite a lot of glitter in here. So this vacuum here stay the art now. Do you want to know why? There's almost glitter of the pot carpet. Oh, do tell. She's the pants and I'm the glitter. Now you're getting it. Okay, so sexy for each other. So when you play the glitter, sir, you dumb glitter on the carpet. But

man, when you play the pants, sir, you just dump glitter on the carpet, but man when you play the pants You pretend to be a pair of pants Say you are following Can I leave please? I hope your vacuums as quick as your fucking wit. I can't get the door open Oh that door door open, but I just came through it. It's a one-way door. Oh no I bet you've susted out audience where a thrupple and this whole thing is a sex thing. Whole thing is a sex thing. Whole thing was a sex scene.

The vacuum salesman was in on it the whole time. And I'm the glitter. So that's our pilot idea. Do you guys like this? So CBS, will you air this? No. Because you did air that sitcom with what's his name as a boulder? He's like a bowling guy and he says, what's that called?

Ship my dad says? Yes. Who's the boulder? Is this based on Kingpin with Bill Murray? No. Who's the comic? Who's like pretty tall? He used to be in Chicago.

Roll tall guy. Is it Kingpin with Bill Murray? Tall guy who used to be in Chicago. Yes, and he's known for like being a clean comic like he doesn't really curse, and I think he's fairly religious. Jim Gaffigan, he's Catholic. No, no, but he's from Indiana.

Is it tall? Ross Kimball? No, I love but he's a Indiana. Is it tall, Ross Kimball? No, I love Ross Kimball. He, this guy had a TV show on HBO, and it's about, it's called Crashing Maybe. Oh, I pick Holmes. Oh, Holmes. Yeah.

He has a sitcom where he bowls, and that's the sitcom. Good to come in, isn't that funny, baby? I did see that. I did see that. I saw the trailer for that. Was that, did that ever come out? Must've. I did see that. I did see that. I saw the trailer for that. Was that ever come out? Must've. I think it did.

Hey, why not? Well, how is everyone doing? Be honest. Well, a little less good now that I know that they really did make that show. And it was just like a bad dream that I had. He's making money. And we haven't seen it.

It could be good. Aaron, are you dating for your home? No, I'm just saying. I had. He's making money and we haven't seen it, it could be good. Aaron, are you dating for your home? No, I'm just saying, I don't know. Aaron's out in LA trying to keep her options open. No, you know I'm trying to do. She's not about to say like, fuck you to this like a, what the hell? No, I'll say fuck you to everybody. I'm never gonna be on TV.

But you know what I am trying to do? Not die on weird hills anymore. I die on too many hills and so I have to be more particular about the hills that I die on that's true And that's our show CBS do you like it? So the pilot is basically three people two of them start to talk shit about someone The third refuses to and they say they won't die on that hill the name of the show is king of the day King of the Hill Yep, and and CBS Pete Holmes is attached to not talking about the product project or not answering our calls. He is very attached to that answer.

I get it. So my weekend was fine. And I went to a bar that was an outdoor bar and then I went to the bathroom and there were girls. Outdoor? Outdoor bathroom. This has been answers to questions no one asked. And the girls in the bathroom were having a discussion. They were strangers to each other. And the girls in the bathroom were having a discussion about what aura, what color aura the two of them have. So I heard these two women meet each other and then immediately start talking about each other's aura. Sure.

And they one girl said the other girl's aura was yellow, and she got emotional in her voice, and she says, you have no idea what that means to me. And I thought, well, this is a part of humanity that I missed a lot when we were in a complete lockdown. I forgot about how quickly women can become soulmates to each other in a bathroom. I always forget, I will say Aaron, that's a fascinating story.

But no one asked. But no one asked. I am always surprised and shocked to remember so many things. Shocker. Thank you. Like I never forget to remember. No. Nope.

I'm always shocked and surprised that so many people, when I leave the house and go out into the real world, I forget how obsessed so many people are with astrology. So I'll be out grabbing a cup of coffee or something and someone will be like, oh, he was a total tourist and I wish he was an area. And I will hear that constantly and I'm like, oh yeah, I guess this is a pretty big thing that steers a lot of people's relationships to some degree. It's very interesting to me because I have zero I cared nothing about it. I don't believe in it. I feel like we as humans we as as a people have created the

Contract of time and years and months and said to me it's just interesting I mean, I guess there is like a lunar calendar or like the stars aligned to some degree, but Are you gonna say to me? Are you gonna say to me? said everybody gonna say it because Adel I'm being a very very That's a real Gemini thing to say Adel

Woo Aaron do you believe in astrology? Well, you know, I think I think honestly the moon in the The planets are doing something Sure So I don't think it's any less ridiculous than Save Scientology

or Well Okay, I guess you don't want to be in a mission impossible movie Aaron. I guess I won't be in a mission impossible movie Although I'm great. So give me a shot. Yeah, give her shot. Holy what I do believe in astrology I am a scateterious, which is... Scateterious. You play with shit. I believe I'm a poopside.

I'm a poop rising because I will not hire a plumber. I could do it myself. If I were to believe in astrology, I'd probably... I think that I'm probably a dark night rising. Hmm, does that make sense? That makes sense to me, yeah. I make a lot of pencils disappear. No, that was sweet.

Which one would be it? That was, I think that was just the dark night. A Sagittarius values independence and the ability to do what they want and when they want. Of all else, they are adventures. Go ahead. No, I was gonna say that perfectly describes a Sagittarius.

They have those big plates on their back They were one of the biggest dinosaurs, but they kind of did their own thing Yeah, but they were vegetarians Complete vegetarians. They are adventures risk takers and have a sharp business and sports mentality and what about a Torex? Doesn't say It says the Fort Taurus was a dependable mid model. It's insane to me. This reminds me. It is insane to me that the Fort Taurus went the way of the dinosaurs because that was,

that's the car I've seen most on the road my entire adult life. I've been, I'm 40 years old. I've been on this earth for 40 years. I've seen more Fort Taurus vehicles than any other car in my life But it got discontinued like 10 years ago or something 12 years ago. Yeah, the for tourists in my mind was just like a a classic staple car of my childhood I'm not listening. I'm reading about Sagittarius's Classic I'm not listening. I would have been all over Leo.

Um, Mariah is a January. What's that? Yeah, but what, uh, Capricorn, I think she's a Capricorn. Oh, well then never. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm a Gemini. Yeah, you're not safe. You're not safe here. You know what everybody's getting roasted Everybody's good. I hear what I'll say I was a Gemini But then at some point maybe around the time the four tours got discontinued. Didn't they shift the months or something? No, yeah, that was people born from that time of the shift I see because at some point they pull the weird fucking move where they're like actually you're this not of that playful and intellectually curious.

Gemini is constantly juggling a variety of passions. Yeah, I'm an indoor mosquito. I'm a term mosquito. And you buzz between happy and sad. Am I a bug? insect terminology. And your soulmates are Aquarius and Libra. Gemma is March 28th. Do you know? I don't I think that might be an aries air is well This is wrong you're with the wrong people Aaron. What are you? Fine All read about me even though I do know that my my Chinese zodiac I get to be a dragon I always thought that was really cool because some of them are like sheep and rat and stuff like that I'm a dog is dog is fine, but there's cooler ones out there.

Yeah, dragon for what? Dragon for one. And dragon, I think dragon's like the big one, like that's supposed to be you're the luckiest. Yeah, I did. It's very funny to have like the Chandizo Diacquard. It's like, okay, so you get to be a dragon. It's like, what are you?

It's like, yeah, I guess you just food for the dragon. Hamster. Everybody's food for this dragon. This dragon has to grow big. Ha ha ha. I'm bold, creative, determined, Everybody's food for this dragon. This dragon has to grow big. I'm bold, creative, determined, mysterious, mythical, and passionate, but I'm not too proud to read my weaknesses. They'll hold a grudge forever. Scorpios are expert grudge holders who aren't quick to forgive or forget.

They don't like being platter-betrayed, so if it happens, they're liable to hold it against the person for the rest of time. What's your dinner? Always a traitor. Okay. Mm-hmm. JBC, here's what's going on. I just pulled up the New York Times review for Pete Holmes' new sitcom,

and I quote, New York Times calls this new sitcom bold, creative, mythical. Pete Holmes is... Okay, so we found out what's happening happening here and although I haven't quite put it together yet I do it easily well by the end of the episode and I suppose I should be with a Virgo or a tourist so what's Sean who's to say Pisces you're to say air and task. You're just saying. So what is it, is there something where the three of us,

the R3 signs, is there something you can look up to see if we are supposed to be hosting a podcast together? Yeah, this is a riddle podcast by the way, so sorry. We're not, to be clear, we are not sorry about not getting to the riddles, we're sorry that you're listening to a riddle pod guest. Aaron, we had it until you called it out. All right, I'm gonna look up Scorpio Gemini Friendship Compatibility.

Okay. Oh, oh. Wait, JPMC Scorpio? Hey, well, I'm a Scorpio. A Gemini Scorpio. No, I'm a Sagittarius. I'm a Sagittarius. Well, we're gonna get to you in a second.

A Gemini Scorpio Friendship is certainly not impossible, but it's not exactly going to be a cakewalk. I Jennie Scorpio friendship is certainly not impossible, but it's not exactly going to be a cakewalk. I would describe your friendship as not impossible. Well, also, I don't like cakewalk, so this is a good news. Adel Scorpio Facility and Growth and Transformation for the Gemini. Wow, okay. Well, Aaron, I really need to hear that. You're welcome. We're good at working together and forming a team to do whatever it takes. And we succeed. I guess we're good co-workers.

That's great. I'm gonna look up Sagittarius Gemini friendship. And then I'll do some wrinkles. To be like, do these two people work together? Well, they're good at working together and forming a team. It's like, cool. That's great.

Perfect. Gemini and Sagittitarius make incredible partners be it friendship, lover, marriage. Although their nature's are slightly contrasting, Gemini and Sad Gitarius is highly rated. The credit largely goes to the Sad Gitarius. I wish I hadn't read that part out loud, sorry, I don't. But it also sounds like Adel,

we could have a pretty kick ass marriage. Ooh, I do think a lot of this seems like self-fulfilling where it's like, if I was dating a cancer, read a horoscope and it was like, Gemini and Cancer don't mix. And then I break up with that cancer. I can't then two years later be like, it didn't work out.

Isn't that just how the horoscope said? It's like, well, I took action based on the horoscope. Don't come at me if this is not the way that it is, but I believe from my limited interactions with this that it is the way that it is. And I don't think Capricorn since Sagittarius is really get a log and Verizon Capricorn I was Sagittarius, but there are little things

where like, yeah, but this is something that they do. And Verizon is always like, this is like us, and I'm like, yeah, but the other thing says that we don't get a log, come on, we gotta know that. You see what you wanna see. Yeah. It sounds like the strength of your friendship

is that you solve problems quickly and can forgive each other easily. And I think that's really lovely. And I'm the one holding grudges in the corner. And then let's see. Aaron put down that copy of the grudge. I won't. I have to be scared to watch it, but I like to hold it. I like to know where it is at all times. That actually makes me feel better if I know where it is. Where is? It's in the DVD player I'm watching it. No, we are quite compatible as friends JPC It can be rocky at first, but it develops into a good friendship. Oh skip to the good part

Do we ever fuck I got no No, no, thank God. This is all I've ruined my marriage. This is like verbal rorshack. Yeah, no, no, no, no. Thank God. This is all I remember. I would ruin my marriage. This is like verbal roacheck. Yeah. It's like you shouldn't be compatible, but sometimes you are, or the reverse is like, you are worse enemies, unless there's a breakthrough.

It's like, it's all right in the middle. It's all skating that middle line. I would say that this is when Kevin Spacey auditioned for Watchman, verbal roacheck. But we get it, right? It's all skate in that middle line. I would say that this is when Kevin Spacey auditioned for watchmen verbal roar shit But we get it right I mean it's not good isn't in that yeah, we did it. We get it Sagittarius men Can be quite blunt and passionate female Scorpios can be a bit too secretive at times with their abundance of feelings Damn, dude

Scorpio women open up to sedgeterious men. Scorpio women. They have to soften their words with each other. That's their advice to us. Oh, right. Anyways, I have some riddles that are listed you submitted. Sure. So let's get to it.

Sorry. Eric, can I try softening my words to you? Yes, please. Okay, this is my attempt at softening my words. Yes. Butter pillows Father butter pillows pillow butter feathers. I Love it. Was it good? It's a will forte. I guess well now we have an episode title welcome to pillow butter pillows

I better better better better. Pilos my name is win 14 Flitter Flitter Wish these are from cat and we can use their name. Should we say meow when you say cat or is that a problem? Not spelled like that kind of cat. I have some homemade riddles and cookies for you. I really enjoy the show.

It's helping them at their job. But they're only on episode 124. So it's going to be a while before you hear this cat. You might never even get to hear your riddles, which would be hot. Sorry. Wow, how dare you what are you saying? I'm sorry Wow, so so that means that cat will eventually hear this riddle but but where they're where they're listening now Are they 124 are they in the year that we like riddles because that year's over because we don't we don't have to like riddles anymore. Even worse, I think they're like beginning of the pandemic. Oh, no. Oh, no. I can't run.

We can't hear the dog. Okay, so these are probably some warm-up riddles. Some of these might be better than others, but the format is simple. The answer is a two-word item and the clues are phrases that describe the individual words in the name. For example, the answer to knowledge that guides to the solution to a problem or mystery, plus another word for the staff of the ship or boat would be... Brain GPS or... Yes, that'll yes!

Here's what's going on with me right now, Aaron. As you were reading that, I was like, oh, Yes, here's what's going on with me right now Aaron as you were reading that I was like oh This is eighth period, you know seventh eighth period. I'm done with the day. I'm not learning anymore I am making paper airplanes in the back of class I am just throwing the paper airplanes and I don't care what happens to them so that's the energy that I'm approaching solving Jokes on you cuz you're in physics and you just got an A for that paper airplane. Oh, and sweetie, can I just say, as a school nurse, if period, you need to go home and see a doctor.

All right. So it's clue crew, because it's knowledge that guides to the solution of a problem or mystery to another word for the staff of a ship or boat. Oh, clue. We'll crew. I get the stuff I get set up. Okay, I was thinking staff is an or, and it's the staff is a ship or boat. Oh, clue. We'll crew. I get the staff. Okay, I was thinking staff is an ore,

and it's the staff is in the clientele. You shall not pass. The clientele in a ship, yeah. I came up with all of these on the job, and if you need to him, keep in mind that, and then actually I'm not gonna tell you that hint, unless you need it. Oh, no.

Okay. Save it. I don't need it yet. Mm-hmm. Delicious mold that may make some people get upset stomachs. Okay. Plus what you do with a cigarette or the name of a magic dragon. Shroom butt.

Penicillin pasta. Yeah, penicillin is. Wow, delicious. Mommy, I'm sick. Can I please have some more penicillin? We have a burnt bouillage bun with a bit of penicillin on top in joy. Um, be- Who ate all the goddamn penicillin?

I just bought a jar of penicillin down at the market. Delicious. I will say as a kid, I used to eat all the Flintstone vitamins. I don't know if you had those in your house. Oh, yeah. They were so tasty. That you could do it. My son only eats locally, so I used to spend a the Flintstone vitamins. I don't know if you had those in your house. Oh, yeah, we were so tasty. My son only eats locally, so I spent a ton of time.

Oh, okay. Delicious mall that may make some people stomach. Cheese? Yes. Okay. Cheese puff. Yes. Oh, a cheese puff.

Okay, cool. Every plant needs a strong foundation. Plus, a drink that doesn't taste nearly as good as frapp boys make it seem. Root, stop your pepper. Ha ha ha. Yes. I cannot tell a lie.

This is the tastiest fruit. Plus, the leader of the powder puff girls. Apple, the boy who cried wolf blossom. Apple blossom. Damn it. Oh no, blossom was from the leader. I've never seen power buff girls. No, you have the right idea. So who chopped down a cherry tree? George Washington bubbles. Yeah, so it's cherry. Cherry blossom. Okay. Who's the third power puff girl that I'm forgetting? Mojojojo. Buttercup. Buttercup. Yeah, bubbles isn't one of them.

Bubbles. No, no, of us are the powder puff girls. Okay. Is it powder puff or power puff? What did I say? I've never seen the show before. I don't know. Did I say powder? You, okay.

I will settle this. I will settle this. It's power. I said powder. Okay. Now, do you want to see a scene where we are the powder puff girls or the power puff girls? I want to know. So powder puff, and Aaron before he decided, powder puff is slang the power puff girls. I went in. So powder puff and Aaron before he decided,

powder puff is slang for doing cocaine. Mm-hmm. I would like to see a scene where we're the powder puff girls. Okay. Sure, okay. Okay. Okay.

See, who gonna fight who gonna fight who gonna fight the scene? The scene. We all did it. We all did the most thing. I just talked about astrology and then we did one scene that was just a sniff. This got to be our last episode ever. I gotta say, I think I fucked up one of my eardrums

when I did that big sniff. I think I did a big sniff too hard. I don't know how, but I have swimmers here. Okay, a word that encompasses the whole of something. Plus a bread product that gets its distinctive texture from having a nice hot bath before it's baked. Description French toast? Well, that's good. Definition, so there's...

There's definition. There's swimmers here. There's tennis elbow. Are there any other like sport body part golf balls? Go the cross legs Cross face because lacrosse faces when you have a punchable face. Yeah cricket neck You have a poncho ball face. Yeah, cricket neck. Cricket neck.

I don't know, man. You should've saved golf balls. Rack a ball butthole. Oh, we're that encompasses the whole of something. Plus, a bread product that gets its distinctive texture from having a nice hot bath before it's baked. Does the ass encompass the whole? Ooh.

No. It's not ass. Also, JPC, I forgot to mention mention I one time had to go home from school sick with swim fan. I wanted to watch that movie. So badly. I'm a fan of swim fan. A word that encompasses what was it again? A word that encompasses the whole of something? it again, a word that encompasses the whole of something. So that would be the scripture, a definition, a... No, if we're talking about... Yeah, all or...

Mac. All things in the world. Everything, everywhere, all it was. A fine alone, a family. Oh, everything? Mm-hmm. And a bread product. Bagel.

Yes, everything, bagel. Oh, it's everything. Oh, it's everything. Bigel. Yes, everything big. Oh Yes, I would like to see a scene. Okay, you two are some bagels in a bath. Okay, having a nice hot bath. Okay Back is killing me my back is absolutely this I need of this I needed to soak today. Oh boy. Hey, Sesame. Sesame. Can you pass the butter, please? Okay, garlic. I'm only doing this because you asked me to do this come on come on You said I had to cut you off garlic. You said I had to cut you off at a certain point and you had a lot of butter today This math water is almost all butter. I'm feeling so hot. I just want to you know I want to rub it on before I- Look, before I get stale, what about a little shmere?

What if I give you a little shmere just to tide you over? Okay, okay. Alright, okay. Let me, let me get myself in half. Uh, yeah. Not you, not all the way, not all the way. Not all the way. Leave a little, leave a little connection. And I'm just playing myself open. Yeah, get some yeah get some in there okay let me get my knife out

yeah slower slower okay shmere slower ah ah hold on I'm gonna give I'm gonna wipe it back the other way because there's a little bit of shmere somehow they're got shmere on the other side of the knife by wipe you're gonna cross you with that side so Oh yeah Flip it in Alright Oh yeah There we go Ah Now just toss on some locks

What have I made of money? Well Won't you, I mean Do me a favor, I'll pay you back Oh you'll pay me back The garlic bagel is gonna pay me back Says to me, I'm good for it. Come on.

What can I do for you? What's that? What can I do for you? You want me to kill someone? Let me check you off. Come on. What do you want? I want to kill you, someone.

Now, would it kill you to put some sausage and cheese inside of me? Ah. Disgusting. That goes inside a croissant or a potato roll it does not go inside a bagel Can I tell you something? I'm a brioche bun What I put sesame seeds in a brioche bun, but maybe I never been a bagel. What I'm a brioche bun

Brioche Bud! What did I just learned today earlier today late last night 2 a.m. this morning? I just learned that Chabatta was invented in like 1987. Wow Where I was done. I would have day you had buddy. All right gun to your bagel hole. Yeah, what is the difference between a bagel and a bealee? Bealee's are flatter, right? I don't know. I'm a sweet tough guy. And there's no such thing as a bagel stock in bloom. I'm allergic. So I can't not not two bagels. Aaron's just allergic. I'm just allergic to this conversation. I thought the alleys were just like kind of flattered, or maybe I don't know. I really don't know.

I actually don't know the difference. I went to a place called New York Bagel in Bioli, and I got a Bioli sandwich, and then I got a bagel, and I could not tell the difference through the two of those things. That place is fantastic. They're black and white cookies, or they're usually in the fridge are very good,

and then they also sell my favorite drink, which is the cherry, it's like Dr they also sell my favorite drink which is the cherry it's like Dr. Brown's cherry cola which is like the best drink of all time. Can I tell you I had a very weird interaction there because I put an order online. I know I called in order because they don't do online orders so I called in an order and then I went to pick it up and there was a line around the block like it was a long line and I walked up to the door and there was a guy standing outside like waiting to go in and I was the first guy to the door and I walked up to the door and there was a guy standing outside like waiting to go in and I was the first guy to the door and I went up to him and I said, hey, are you picking up an

order or no, yeah, I said, are you picking up an order or placing an order and he goes, we're all just placing orders. And he said it like, he said it like, like, there's no such thing as picking up orders. And I was like, oh, and then I like went in front of him and he like moved to like, trying to like block me from going in, and then I like went in front of him. And he like moved to like trying to like block me from going in the door. And I just went in the door, grabbed my bagels off the counter and then like walked out. And he was in, when I walked out,

he was not looking at me at all. He was like looking down at his phone. But I was like, what the fuck? I can't say. You like him in Soembaris. It's a lie, and it's a energy of like, hey, we're all waiting here, guy. I don't care if you call the head and know something I don't we're all waiting

That place is great go to coffins That's the best place in in the in Illinois for bagels and Illinois for bagels. Yeah, go to coffins So you're telling me not just Chicago, but all of rural Illinois with all their dipshit people can't make a better Look rural Illinois with all their dipshit people can make a better big look look it's mostly dipshit people there let's be honest all right let's do one more yes I couldn't participate in that because I'm allergic yeah that's sad Japan's parliament or in science what you call the eating habits of an animal plus the shortened name of a drug derived from the leaves of a cocoa plant. Okay, leaves of a cocoa plant. It's that in unison, yeah.

Japan's parliament or what is it? What a dinosaur eats today. This is going to be easier for you. Yes. What you call the eating habits of an animal. Diet. Yes. Oh, okay. Just for the taste.

Put them together. Diet, coke. Diet, squirt. And now I can admit to you that cat works at a grocery store. Thank you, cat. So they just walked up and down the aisles and then reverse engineered stuff snacks they saw. Kind of fun. Thank you so much for this new cat. I hope that you make it to this episode and you get to stuff snacks they saw. Kind of fun, thank you so much for listening, Kat.

I hope that you make it to this episode and you get to hear your riddles. Let's go on a touch of quick break, so quick, I promise. Kat, don't go anywhere, except, I mean, do listen to the commercials. And we're back. Wow, are we?

Yeah, we can. Holy shit, we're back so fast. Whoa. Wow, I got whiplash from how fast we were back. Not my tempo. Sorry, that's not my Ford tempo. Is this your car? Can you move it?

I'm sorry, this is my Taurus. Not my Taurus. Do a little head symbol. Not my Taurus. Not my Taurus. I don't like Miles Teller. I don't. I'm not gonna like Miles Teller.

There's nothing you can say. JPC did so much coke this episode. We're so sorry you guys. He's really on one. Well, let's take Aaron, if I may, I'm not the host this episode. I'm not old man puzzles. Let's take a bit of a long break. Let's take a break. Hey, JPC, you know how I love, he looks sleep, I love that he looks mattress brand, uh, especially nights sleep of my life. I know not everyone is on board yet, so I secured award-winning sleeper, Merrill Sleep. Um, she's right behind that door, Merrill Sleep. She's right behind that door. Merrill sleep. Wow, she won the golden pillow for best sleep. That's right. Hey Merrill Hello, yes, hello, yes, I'm Very well rested after sleeping on my midnight lux helix mattress. Good to see you. Good to see you

Your naps are stunning. I just wanted you to tell people about helelix sleep, how the Heelix lineup offers 20 unique mattresses, including the award-winning Luxe collection. The newly released Heelix Elite collection, a mattress design for big and tall sleepers, even a mattress made just for kids. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah, and Heelix knows there's no better way to test out a new mattress than by sleeping on it

in your own home. That's why they offer a 100-night trial a 10 to 15 year warranty to try out the new Helix mattress. Who do you? Who? Who did I think you were? I don't know. I'm Meryl sleep and I know everybody is unique and everybody sleeps differently. I just recommend taking the Helix sleep quiz and you can figure out what mattress is right cheap for you. I don't know if you're a side sleeper or you sleep hot or cold or if you sleep like me.

Meryl sleep. Yeah, choosing the right mattress is a real Sophie's decision. But don't just take our word for it or Meryl sleeps word for it. Helix has been awarded the number one mattress picked by GQ and Wyard magazine. It was even recommended by multiple leading chiropractors and doctors of sleep medicine. I don't think I thought you were the person that she's doing. Oh, she's doing it. What a performance.

He looks mattresses all come with a 10 to 15 year warranty, depending on the model. Oh, stunning. Yeah, look, he looks as offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners go to helexleep.com Slash riddle. This is their best offer yet and it will not last long with helex better sleep starts now. Go ahead and give her the Academy of Snor The snorke You know what you mean the Academy is Glit close to falling asleep. That's why This nor You know what? You mean the Academy is gnaw Glit close to falling asleep. That's why

Oh, yeah, I got that a lot Hey, I don't hate air and I got a bone to pick with the two of you Oh Sure, yeah, I wore the skeleton outfit just because I figured this was coming Happy Halloween a few months early. It's not yet What is it? So you know how the two of you I was like, guys, I am always so hungry for lunches and dinners in the like

and you, jokers, told me, oh, JPC, it's okay. All you have to do is take some, you know, American paper currency, tape it to your front door, close the door, and then wait until someone brings you food. Well, I kept opening the door and the money was gone. So I had to take more money to my door. I think you're thinking to work out all. Oh, door cash.

Door cash. Yeah, you did. Door cash. We told you door dash is the number one thing to you. What the hunk? With door dash, you'll enjoy next level convenience with delivery in the hour, making it easier than ever to get whatever you want delivered to your house, whether that be back to school supplies or whatever it is that you eat. JPC, which I don't know what you eat.

I eat back to school supplies. But what? JPC, all your favorite retail, grocery and convenience stores are on the app so you can chop everything, your kids, your dogs, your family, might need for back to school. And hey, personally, just yesterday, I bought some marshes homemade premium quality buck eyes, you know, those candies that are chocolate stuff with peanut butter. I just got those from DoorDash and they were, they were on my porch within 20 minutes. And it's very, very dangerous because they're delicious.

Did you fill your belly and your pantry? Uh, yes. Did you fill your belly and your pantry? Yes. Did you fill your backpack? I did. Okay, well then DoorDash has come again for the gold. I remember distinctively the stress of going back to school and going from store to store to get all my favorite snacks and pencils and pencil cases and all the things that I needed me and my siblings

and I remember how stressed my mom was and I know that she would have loved to have door dash so she could be prepared before the big back to school day arrived. So you can stock up with go to breakfast lunch box staples and brands that you love. Don't eat my school supplies, JPC. You can see but that eraser. Never school. Put that trapper keeper down your mouth is too small. Never been told that before.

Shop door dash to get everything you need for the back to school season delivered right to your door. Order now for stress free back to school shopping. Use promo code riddle to get 50% off up to $10 value. When you spend $15 or more at convenience, grocery or retail stores on door dash, that's 50% off up to a $10 value. When you spend $15 or more, promo code riddle, don't forget JPC because you keep eating those school supplies.

That's code riddle for 50% off your next order terms apply. At all, JPC keeps eating my gel pens. Thanks, DoorCash. I mean, no, that's the one. That one didn't work. That one's bad. Hey, JPC. Yeah? You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um,

pranking at all. And I'm setting up a website to bring him. Um, can I just need some advice? This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website. It engaged with your audience. And so anything for products that cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Edel. Come here. Come here. Come here. Hey, whatdle, come here. Come here. Come here. Hey, what's going on?

I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch, you can easily sell custom merch

and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production, and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with Adel? Oh, nothing, nothing.

I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna use an analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website, the prank site. Well, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. The website was for. It was four, I can't remember what's the website for. Frank.

Squarespace. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial.

And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey Aaron. Hey Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked.

But how? I don't know. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hey Powerpuff girls, it's me. I think your dad or the scientist who... A scientist who built you? Yeah, what do you need? Listen, someone went into my room and there's a certain thing I kept under my bed and all of it's gone.

Do you know what might have happened to it? Oh, yes, it's all gone! Little monkey bones? No, I'd buttholes, I'm a perfect clone! I'm a perfect clone! I don't think you're a perfect clone of whatever you think you are. No, I'm perfect clone of whatever you think you are I'm a clone of bubbles

Listen, yeah, this is but holes a Bubbles, okay, well where is bubbles? She had to go she is It's court appointed anger management there So I'm gonna be feeling it every second Wednesday. I thought it was the same. Okay, stop saying it. Stop saying it. Well, I'm gonna go on vacation.

Can you, girls, handle the city, I guess? I'm gonna get you a clone. I get you a clone. What was that era? Like Samurai Jack. Sam Ray Jack maybe. Powerpuff girls. Powerpuff girls maybe. What else was on network?

Dragon Ball C reruns. Oh, Dexter's laboratory. Dexter's laboratory maybe maybe. And they all have a similar art style, right? I feel like it's a very similar vibe. Yeah, Dexter's laboratory and powerpuff girls, I felt like maybe, yeah, was it maybe like a similar like colored palette too. I never watched any of them but I was aware of them because I would watch Dragon Ballsie on Cartoon Network. God love that

Dragon Ballsie. I think my little brother liked Samurai Jack as or some maybe someone I knew in high school like Samurai Jack. I hear him's good. I never really was able to watch Cartoon's because me headaches. Huh. So Simpsons? Simpsons. No, but I just, I could just listen to that opening. Sorry, I'd always listen to cartoons. Okay. Aaron, you will load you to cartoons?

Yeah, I'm going to load you to cartoons. I was going to say I understand that. Cartoons and video games make me feel motion sickness in my brain in my head. You know my brain in my head. Do you have a good lotion sickness Aaron? Yeah, when I put on way too much lotion. Let me can I can I slip and fall down the stairs and I feel sick. Let me wear this and you have a concussion. Let me wear this area by you Aaron. You go you you you take a look at some lotion that is that you keep by your sink, that sometimes you put on your hands after you're done washing dishes to kind of rehydrate them in a way.

And you take a look at the back of the lotion. You don't even know why you're doing it. It's just kind of an off the wall. Hey, I'm going to take a look at the back of this lotion. And you just see something you can't unsee. It's that it expired in 2016. Now this bottle is still half full. Do you keep the lotion or do you throw it out

knowing that it has been expired for, I wanna say six years. JPC, I throw it out so fast that I'm trying to go like turn back time. Gotcha. I am so trying to not live in that moment of the disgust of that, that I am moving faster than lightning.

You don't do one more pump just to make sure, just to get a little good by it to be like, this is fine motion, I will throw it out, but I will prove to myself that it's still fine. I am throwing it out and then hitting myself super hard in the head so it leads to my brain. Aaron, you also said you were literally to cartoons. weren't you married to launch pad?

We weren't married. Having fun, I didn't want to see fun. I don't want to see you. You're having fun. Aaron, I do want to see a scene. You're Aaron Keefe. Uh, GPC, you are a fairly well-known cartoon character. And the two of you are on a date, and Aaron, you're trying to get out of it. Any way you can. Well, this is me. Gorsen, we get deserve? See.

Come on. The episode of short scenes. I love it. That was amazing. This is Robert Altman's Hey Riddle Riddle. Aren't you going to ask me up? Gorsh! Ew!

Okay. So these come from Dan C. He, him. Thank you so much for sending us these riddles, Dan. I'll thank you. I'll thank you at the end, Dan, if I deem the riddles, Dan. Hi, Cleary. I'll thank you. I'll thank you at the end, Dan, if I deem the riddles appropriate. Inspired by a before and after runway challenge

on RuPaul's Drag Race, I've decided to carry the list of some for you guys to figure out. So, remind us how this works. I will. Is there any example? Yes, so the Golden Girl did did a dirty but catchy duet with Meg the stallion. The golden girl did a dirty duet with Meg in the stallion. Blanch, dub, blanch, dub

step, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, think of another golden girl. Okay. Okay. Rose. No, it's the actress. Okay, Rose. No, it's the actress. B Arthur. B Arthur. B rapper name comes before. Wap Arthur. Wap B. Yeah, but who else sings? What?

What asks B. Arthur? Who else sings? Oh, Cardi B. Arthur. Yeah. Okay, okay. We got it. Wait, wait, wait, wait. The answer is Cardi B. Arthur.

Mm-hmm. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I get it, I get it. So, Aaron, just for clarification, in that instance, I believe Golden Girl came first in the clue. Yeah, so it doesn't really matter what it is. It doesn't matter, okay, okay. You just combine two things. I've got it.

This past season of Drag Race, the All Winners, was so good, and I enjoyed it so much. It's been the best season yet. And I loved the format. I swear to God, I thought I was here at your clue. I was listening to Aaron say that, like I was like, this past season of drag race was so good. I'm like, what the fuck, how do clue is this?

I won't spoil it in case anybody's running very behind, but the winner of this season is my all time favorite drag queen, Gemini's both. Same. Same. And I think the only thing that could have made this season better is to not replace anyone, but to add Alyssa Edwards

and then it would have been the perfect season. Mm-hmm. I will say the second half of the season had some of the hardest crying moments I've ever had on a TV show. Monet exchanged us something that I get goosebumps just thinking about and some of the best everything. The best version of everything is in the season.

I can't recommend it enough. Okay, anyways. I can't watch because I'm allergic. No, I am too many feathers. She quit being a spy for Charlie so she could have a little Monica in her life and some Erica by her side. Okay.

She's quit being a Charlie's Angel? Mm-hmm, so she could have a little bit of monika in her life. I do. Blue, Vega, Cameron Diaz. Come on. Lucy, Lucy, Liebenga. Yeah. What?

What? Blue Vega, Cameron Diaz. Perfect. Thank you. Uh, he not only uses chairs in the wrestling ring, but he also sits in them centrally without underwear on. Like from a movie. Oh, oh, oh, oh, Cogan from a movie.

I think this is my favorite. Sharon Stone Cold Steve Austin. Yay! Isn't that so good? Yeah, that's my favorite. Dealing with her co-hosts on the view is like playing chess with the Russians. Whoopi Goldberg. This one's kind of hard. This actress is amazing from the view and actress from the view.

No, the chess. The Russians. This is the, so chess is Queen's Gambit. Yeah, and her name is Anya Taylor Joy. Mm-hmm, and then you add the last name. Bayhaw. Nice. Wait.

Anya Taylor Joy Bayhaw. Joy Bayhaw is a few. Yeah. She looks like Pam Anderson, but has the voice. Oh wait, Aaron, I'd like to see a scene. Oh, I'm so sorry. Pardon me. Hey, JPC real quick, dead stop. Yeah, if you're about to make Aaron the Queen of England and me gambit

I am walking away from the pocket Oh, I guess I play game it haha No, Aaron D has your joke has your joy Bayhara impression Terrible I don't know I haven't heard her speak in a while. Okay, so hold on. I'm sorry, Edelprey seen So what do we know about Jordan? I know nothing is she a matter like the liberal one She's older. Yeah, but she's like old Democrats. So she's so so can I touch joy? Bayharm can we can we just try Aaron like try her accent? Maybe just try to get into it a little bit. Okay I'm ready okay, I was, okay, so that's it.

So, Aaron's ready. So, Aaron, you sound like? I guess so. Aaron is gonna be playing Joy Bayhara, which is a horse with peanut butter. Aaron is strong. Aaron is Joy Bayhara. Aaron is Joy Bayhara. Aaron, Joy Bayhara has made it to the finals of the Russian chess competition.

Adel, you are a Russian chess player, and you are trying to play like mind games during this match with each other. I have to say, I'm very disappointed to see you in the finals. I thought as an American, you would not even be in the competition. Oh, you're so...

See. You ski. No, you never intended to enjoy Bayhara impression. Me? J'Q's! J'Q's! J'Q's! J'Q's! The bed is in it.

Do you like it? In case his video is off right now, but I guarantee you he's grinning near to ear and rubbing his hands together because this is going to be the easiest episode ever for him. Casey's going to go off and Mike Bigdalfe and across the hall is going to be like, Casey, how's the editing going for that episode? It's like perfect. I don't know. Yeah, I can be sex.

I only ate four seconds in yacody sex. That's going to get me to the whole edit. You just use yacody sex. Thank you. Casey, please, four seconds of Yakite sex. I don't think you get sued if it's just four seconds. No, and that's a hill I would die on, Benio. Yeah.

And it's also so fun because now you know, because Yakite sex has been playing throughout the whole episode, but now you know why. It's because of this moment. So you're hearing the birth of it, but you will have been experiencing it already. So that is interesting. I wish to Christ.

I wish to God that a modern day artist would be brave enough to sample the Acidysax in a song, yeah, at least to sing. I would love it. Hey man, it's me, God. Can you pray for more important shit? You know that Acidys sax song you were looking for? Listen to this.

This is a few months old, even by the time, even while we're recording it. But did you guys see that like, based Hugh Grant moment where I think it was around the time when old, what's his fuck was getting fired? Boris Johnson was getting fired. And the Tories were supposed to come, they were like in front of Parliament

and they were supposed to come out there and like talk about what was going on. And Hugh Grant tweeted at some protestor. Yes. You should play Yacke of these sacks as loud as you can. So all the Tories are forced to give this interview talking about this Parliamentary procedure with Yacke of these sacks going on in the background.

And then they did, and it was fucking hilarious. That's so damn it. Try to keep it together. Well, it did. It's perfect. I sent that video to my dad and I went, I'm so glad we were alive at the same time. It was happening. It was even funnier that it was fucking Hugh Grant who was pretty based on Twitter by the

way it was going after. Does he tweet like he talks? Oh god. Oh, fucking root man tech. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Whoops, so Jaycees. All right, let's do a few of these from more of these from Tancy. Tancy.

He's Tancy. Ignorance. Tancy, queen. She looks like Pam Anderson, but she has. Pam Anderson. She looks like Pam Anderson, but she has the voice of an She looks like Pam Anderson, but she has a voice of an evil cyborg. Oh, I thought you said Eagle Cyborg. And that's a scene I want to see. But I know it'll just be a cook snort. You don't know that. Have a little faith. She looks like an evil cyborg.

She looks like Pam Anderson. She looks like Pam Anderson. Oh, who played Pam Anderson in a TV show reason? Holy shit. I don't know the person. I know there was a show. She actually got it. Pam and Tommy. Alan Collins.

James. Lily James. Lily James Marston. Lily James in the giant peach. Lily, what was the second part? What actor does the voice of an evil cyborg evil cyborg voice Our leader slager lily James invaders in one I'd say the most famous one of the most famous lines in cinema Oh back we should gonna die

Yeah Yes, Adel frankly my darling we're gonna die Yes, comeel. Frankly, my darling, we're gonna die. Yes. Come on with the binks. Adel, Adel just, I just, it's basically, have you guys ever seen it phone charge itself? What is that? Adel just completely re-energized himself with his own joke. I don't know why, but inserted in charger, our beans in the classic movies just really tickled me.

Yeah, we're gonna get a text in two hours. I know how this goes. I don't get a thing of a hundred of these and then we have to deal with the text. If I only had a binks, what else? What else? Sorry, so you said the most famous cyborg in history. Is this like Darth Vader? Yes, so.

Oh. Is he a cyborg? James Earl Jones, Lily James Earl Jones. Thank you. That was exhausting. My God. Wow. Thank you. Exhausting me. Thank you. When he's holding his hammer, he can fly, but when he's behind the wheel He drives fast and Furious Maxwell Vin Diesel hammer he can fly but when he's behind the wheel he drives fast and furious. Maxwell Vindiesel. Bang bang Thor Silver Mule and their ghost. Wait, now it crashed me from Brunk but isn't Maxwell Silver Hammer? Oh the white album. You just snorted. By far the best Beatles album in my opinion.

Oh, it's Christmas, good, man, man. By far the best Beatles album's my opinion. They were, and then Thor Walker. Thor plays him. It's never gonna be the characters. Oh, Chris Hemsworth. Chris, Chris Hemsworth, Vin Diesel. It's attached to Luda. Oh, Luda Chris Hemsworth.

Luda Chris Hemsworth. Luda Chris Hemsworth. Luda, what in the world is in that bag? What you got? What you got in that bag? What you got? What you got in that bag? Tastes. Cooking. He's always there for a new deal.

On right, neon pictures of unicorns. This is a second favorite. Bob Barker. Right, Max Landis. This is a person that comes up on our show so often, mostly on our Patreon. Oh, how are you? How are you? How are you?

No, but this, okay, I cannot believe it. I was trying I've been trying to dodge how our Dean references for months and It's happening so it's a woman we mentioned the most in the show if Aaron Keith if howard Dean is the man we talk about the most for howard Dean and who's the woman She's infamously private. JK Rowling. She's infamously private. Casey Biedney. She has bright neon pictures of unicorns.

Lisa Frank. Lisa Frank. And her little diary. Over on the Patreon, I tried to buy a Lisa Frank zoo. I wanted a zoo that only has a Frank. That is right. No one's gonna comment on my Lisa Frank style. So the answer is the answer is how are you Lisa Frank? No. Wait, oh, I'm sorry. The answer is Lisa Frank. No, it's think of who did the new deal.

Frank, frankly, my darling. I don't give a FD It's Lisa Franklin Delano Roosevelt So it's FD our but it's the fault. We had to say the full Monty. Yeah, okay. Yeah Nothing compares to a bald Irish native who can fight in an octagon Yeah, nothing compares to a bald Irish native who can fight in an octagon. Sheenado Connor. What's that guy's name Connor? Oh, yeah, wow. Nice job. Damn. A robotic revolutionary in zombie land.

General Grievous. General Grievous. This guy's got Star Wars on the fucking brain. Oh, well, that can't be that one. A robotic revolutionary in Zambieland. You said the Westworld? Mm-hmm. For robotic evolution. Adheros?

No. What else was in that? I know that there is more episodes of it that I've never seen. We're like the big stars in Westworld. Aaron Paul was in the 30s. The biggest adheros. No, I mean, I think that it's the biggest role. Biggest role.

Tott of E'd. The biggest role. Tandy Newton. I know. It has to be Boston market. That is gotta be the biggest role. There's a big. And it's unlimited.

No, she, I think that she was, like especially in the first season, two-packed. Yes, yes, yes. The daughter from the wrestler, what's her her name she was in the the Beatles movie was the Beatles movie Lucy in the Sky at the time and she's in 13 going on 30 or very famous. 13 Evan would thank you Evan Rachel Norwegian would have Evan Rachel would and then would you rather Evan Rachel was in zombie land what Would he have a ritual with a hero's in?

A hero's in? That's right, yes. And then he says, hope you have fun. Love you guys and hope to see a live show soon. Well, if you're in New Jersey, it looks like Dan, so maybe you can come to our New York Clip Shop. If you wanna get on a train. Yeah, if you wanna get out of fucking Jersey.

If you wanna woke up this morning and get yourself out. All right, if you want to get out of fucking Jersey, if you want to walk up this morning All right, I did say that I would wait until dance riddles and I have to say Dan very good riddles. Thank you These are what I do. Thank you very good. I do I do decide. This is my choice to thank you Dan Um, this thank you Dan. Um, this huh. I'm so sorry. Can we meet me? I see a scene Yeah, you can let's see. I'm so sorry. May I see a scene? Uh, yeah, you can. Let's see how it goes. So based off of... Ha ha ha ha.

Based off of inserting jar jar of binks into old-timey movies. I want to see a scene. I knew it. He hasn't been listening since that happened. Oh, no. I knew it. Well, my eyes went completely white. Um, so you can always tell. I want to see a scene.

So this is like a 19, maybe like a 1930s or 40s movie, definitely like black and white era. JPC, you are a legit, you're like whoever the lead is and multi-spalkin or whatever, like carcgab, but whatever you are, you are a legit 1930s actor, you are of the times, you speak in the lingo, you have the cadence, you're totally that. Aaron, you're a time traveler from now now who goes back in time and finds yourself accidentally on the set of a movie and you're trying to play along but you clearly are not of this era and it's a little out of place.

Great. Ooh, look at the getaway sticks on that getaway vixen. Not you hitting on me. Oh it's me, it's me alright and I'm hitting on me. Oh, it's me, it's me, alright, and I'm hitting on you. You're a cool glass of soda poured by a jerk. Okay, well- And I'd be a jerk if I didn't take this chair and pull it out from behind you and say, would you like to sit down?

Rest those- Limber legs? Okay, well, you're problematic AF Um, hold on, let me treat this Hold on Girl, you're literally sending me Wait, what's happening? Uh oh

Hey, you are hotter than a hot bun on a Tuesday Whoa, what's happening to me? Uh, cut, that take hit different? Wait a second What's going on? This... this lecture... Thanks, sir! Let's do another!

This director should be off this project. It's cancel culture run a muck! I should be off this project. You're mid! What am I saying? And now I'm back into... oh no! We've switched! Damn! In the book, we'll give you a book of love in the evening! As you... as you've been at it. I see.

Addle you fell asleep and you're cocaine We're gonna die It's always fun recording a lost episode I want to get a clip of Darth Vader going Through the filter going. But through the filter, through the filter. Kasey's got it. Kasey, thank you. Kasey, thank you. Oh, it's worse than I remember though. It's so, it's so much worse. Hold on, here we go. Kasey, you're going to know, Kasey, you're going to know when I want you to play it. Here we go. I'm going to say a quote and

I want you to punctuate it. Luke, I am your... big time, you fucking big time, which brings the all-time total of times anyone on this podcast says yes and a dattle to zero. Okay, it serves up my guy, 100%. I didn't say that, just that, that wasn't me. Um, how I guess, and you all the time. That's fair, that's fair. Oh. Okay, but, but, Kaysie, do you want to do this? Okay, hey guys, we're going on tour soon.

We want to go to Rhode Island. We want to go to Rhode Island. We want to go to Montana! Oh! I'm so happy we have that! Do we have any voicemails? How are Dean? Do you want to come on a road trip with us? No! He's broken. We broke them. Okay, yeah let's broken. We broke him. Um, okay. Yeah, let's play some voicemails.

Wait for the beep, hey riddle, riddle. I wanna get the calls on the voicemail. And I'll hit play. And I'll hit play. Hey, Aaron Addle and JPC. I thought I was just sharing a fun little story about when I was listening to your podcast. A couple weeks ago, I got an email that told me I was going to be a bad husband and I have been trying to adopt and then I found a lock. And I was listening to you guys as I read the notes that we've had been matched. So you will always be in my life now.

Because I'm going to remember that moment for the rest of my life. So thanks for all the laughs and for keeping me laughing through lots of psychchanges and bottle feedings and late nights and listening to you guys a lot while taking care of my new baby. Draw the best thanks to the motion. That's incredible. Happy new day. Happy new day. Happy new day. Happy new day. Can you name a baby Howard Dean Scream? Howard Dean Scream. This child's name is Howard Dean scream. Name him Dean scream. That's our first and only suggestion. Or riddle or pinch.

What about you? Whatever your last name is, ditch it. I love this baby, Dean S. Cream. Okay. Okay. Well, congratulations. That's so nice.

That's amazing. Congratulations. And when it's in the middle of the night and you're feeding that baby, turn us on and we'll make you feel worse, buddy. You don't make the baby madness even crazier. That is so exciting. They just gave me goosebumps.

That's wonderful. Congratulations to you and your husband. How many? Areal Stein is laying next to you? What? Areal Stein is in bed next to you. Yeah, we're together. Do you know that he didn't write goosebumps

until he was 49? Something to think about. Wow. Did you know that Alan Rickman didn't read goose bumps until he was 52? Do you know that how are Dean and Scream until he was 15? So there's still time. This whole show was ruined. I would, okay, here's what I'll say. Here's what I'll say. Here's what I'll say. Here's what I'll say. I know that West Craven has passed away.

RIP West Craven, we stand a king. Whoever handles West Craven's estate. I am willing to pay upwards of 5,000 dollars. Oh my God. If you will have a new screen come out. Call it scream, call it scream too, whatever you want to call it. When people show up to theaters, they get their popcorn, they see Nicole Kidman go through her whole spiel. We see an hour of trailers.

Lights come up on the screen. The lights go down to the theater. Light comes up on the screen. It's just how we're doing that one screen. Roll credits. If you can make that movie scream happen, I pay $18 to see it at least $5. You heard it here. Craven family? $5,000 in $18. You tell us what in the air. Here's what I love. I love that the inspirational thing of being like Kurt Vonnegut didn't sell a book until he was like 42 years old. Yeah. And I love the other side of that, which is like, because that message is you can do

it, you know, it's never too late. You can always do something. The Howard Dean's crepe is like, Howard Dean didn't scream until he was 55. It's like, you could fuck up your life at any moment. And it would be done forever. You could fuck your whole life up. He expressed enthusiasm and his career was ruined. Ruined. Ruined. He must have been so devastated watching Donald Trump get elected. Anyway, but you know how my dream is to host a three day festival. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, the merch is like summer camp themed and we have all sorts of events. We were planning on this actually 2020. We plan on doing it. I believe July, the weekend of July 17th or something.

Yeah, we were planning on this. We were planning on it. We invited another podcast we enjoy and it all fell apart. I would say, I would say planning is 100% a strong word to describe what we were. Well, I reached out to think about it and they said, yes, so we mean. It's an independent. But anyways, I think that one of the events should just be a small theater that plays the Howard Dean's Cream on a loop for the whole festival. And some people

sort of go in recharge. Team Scream. Would you buy tickets to that everybody? We have to put a we have to put a more Tori about the deanscrate. We have to we have to end the game. Let's do one more voicemail. Oh yes, thank you. Hey, Addle JPC in Aaron. I've got a fun and slightly terrifying story.

I was taking a nightly walk. It started raining. So I picked up the pace to try to head back to my car. Thunder and lightning and no exaggeration, maybe 200 feet in front of me. A power line got struck by lightning. And my ears are still ringing. I'm sitting in my car trying to process the consequences of my own mortality. And I just wanted you guys to know that that happened while I was listening to your podcast. So do with that information what you will.

Yeah, love the show. Thanks for doing it. That is fucking bonkers. How do you want to devastate away to find out that god doesn't like our podcast i don't know there's not a court in this land that would convict us i think we're fine lightning crashes and all the other guys yeah here's what here's how i would spend if this was if that was me if they're

but for the grace of there is no god uh... goes i i would say i would start wearing what is it a good a very goofy. Uh, it goes I. I would start wearing, what is it? A very goofy movie, the band power line. I would start wearing exclusively power line sweaters and shirts and everything. And when people came out to me to talk about the shirt, I would parlay that into me being like, did you know, I almost got hit by lightning in the day?

By a power line? If that were me, I would just tell people I got hit by lightning and that's why I am the way I am. Mm-hmm. It's a concerning trend that it seems like people might start calling us in an emergency. If you almost get struck by lightning or get struck by lightning, I'd say have a spear third call. I would say that number one. We're not. Some of us are the car crash, they call, hey, we're not.

We're going to start having voicemails that are narrated by Werner Herzog with a disclaimer of like, please do not listen to this voice mail. When I got into that car accident where I almost died, the very first person I called was this person that I was working on this, like I was on my way to shoot a 48 hour film project. I called like that person to be like,

hey, I'm not gonna come because I got this really bad car crash, they were like, call the hospital. Like what? Or here? Family. Ah. to be like, hey, I'm not gonna come because I got this really bad car crash. They were like, call the hospital. Or your family. Call the doctor. Outstanding. I'm glad you're still alive. I'm glad you're still listening. Yes. Aaron, besides how are Dean, is there anything else you'd like to plug? Like sure. I was recently on an episode of Improv is dead with

some of Weppus, and it was really fun. And that's already out. So you can check that out. Addle, anything to plug. JPC and I were recently on an episode of Two Scary Didn't Watch. I think we plugged it last week or two weeks ago, but just wanna say if you haven't listened to it, please check it out.

We had a really good time talking about Dead Zone, and I really enjoyed it. And also, I maybe already mentioned this, Aaron, you recommended a game called It Takes Two. Mm-hmm. Gemini started playing it. It is some of the most fun I've ever had playing a video game.

Get your, I think you have to have two people in the same room to play it. I believe, maybe you can play it online, but it is some of the most fun I've ever had playing a video game. Could not recommend it more enough. Aaron, thank you for putting that in my field of vision. JPC, anything to plug. As always, I am seeding my plug time. At your age five, thank you for putting that in my field of vision. GPC anything to plug?

As always, I am seeding my plug time. I should read a five star review. If you want to get your five star review featured on the show, just leave us a five star review on iTunes. This five star review is from Slablo Picasso. Is that a big grande? That's a big grandeur, I guess. Yeah.

Slablo Picasso writes, an absolute joy, truly a wonderfully chaotic concoction of one part friendship, one part improv, and also some riddles sometimes, very, very funny, earnest and joyful in an infectious way that will more often than not leave you beaming as the credits play, and not because the episode is finally over. Aaron, Adel, and John Patrick Cohen make every week brighter without fail. PS, the Patreon is somehow even better. Truly one of the reviews of all time.

Anyway, I've been wanting to talk to you guys about this cool new idea I'm jazzed about called Reaganomics. Okay, so I, I see you. I say in the review, truly one of the reviews of all time. It's just truly one of the reviews of all time. Now, here's what I will say.

I do think that when you type in a review on iTunes, I don't think it gives you like a spell check thing. It's because you type in. No, it gives you a word count, so you have to be. Yeah, you're typing spell check thing. It's you have to be. No, but you're a word count. So you have to be. Yeah, you're typing into a form. So there's a lot of mistakes in these reviews and I do think it's very funny to read them

as it. So funny. I actually have one more riddle for you guys. Oh, please. From Kat, earlier. Okay. I think these were the snack ones. I am the last child of a Titan who ate all my siblings before me. When I overthrew him, I married my sister who I discovered was really quite boring. I slept all around and the proof can be found in the stars and space above you. For much to my shame, the astronomers gave the names of my partners to my moons.

Well I know the guy the god who ate his own son very famous portrait. Maybe it's a photo we don't know. We don't know. The technology that they had but I know that was you. You put what is his name? Juniper. Juniper. And that's why Boris Johnson is stepping down. He's part of entry elections, so we had the Tory leadership must be very strong if we are ever to overcome it. It's actually a very important distinction.

And that's the... the Labour governor. Frankly, my darling, we're gonna die. I'm not stopping it. You're supposed to know things. I'm not doing it. Turn it off, Casey. Why is it so fucking long? What the fuck? We regret to inform you that JPCPC Aaron Keith and Adolfi have died Oh my god, that's what you would hear if you went to Haydwell Little How is that? Oh my god, I think my neighbors are banging on my,

on my friend door. There's definitely banging coming from inside of my head. The banging is coming from inside your head. Um, I honestly keep all of it if anything had more hard. Do you have some posts? Hey there, J.E.F.S. and DBs. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. We have Jesse Farrar and Mike Hale from from The Your Kickstarter Sucks Podcast on to play a

little game of real or fake. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or the review crew and you get those ad free episodes for $8 a month. See you there! That was a headgun podcast.