Hey Riddle Riddle - #216: Pigs on a Train

Episode Date: September 7, 2022

It’s Wednesday so you know what that means! The fever dream podcast you listen to is back on its bullshit. We’ve got a drunk poker game, a fed up deer, and a messy fencing match in this one. If you make it to the end of the episode we will present you with the key to the city!  Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle  6351 W Montrose Ave #267 Chicago, IL, 60634 Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531) Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. And the world's been brightened by the same And the world's been brightened by the same Must keep it your hate with the brick dome All right, so our first riddles are warm-up riddles And they come from Darryl Fraser, Fraser Fraser. Oh, sorry. Hey Aaron. What the fuck is happening? It's the start of the episode.

We're supposed to like bullshit for 20 minutes. Wait, what? I thought this was a riddle podcast. Oh, it was. But that riddle podcast burned down seven years ago. On this very night. 200 episodes ago is a riddle podcast. Oh shit, we don't do, oh, okay.

No, no, no, no, no. Oh, let me see, my chef falls paperwork. Oh, so, sorry Aaron, maybe we start and it's like, we're all in like a haunted manner and like, our uncle just died and we have to figure out how to stay the night and then win a million dollars. And then like maybe minute 42, we do our first riddle. I'm actually still in a bad mood

because I was assaulted as it was I got to work today. By the threat of doing a riddle. I'm actually still fucked up, and I do need to. Okay, okay. I think I got Aaron, I think I got it. Just give me one second here. Come on in, Jordan Patrick Cohen. I'm HR, and what is your complaint? Yeah, I me one second here. Mm-hmm. Come on in, Jordan Patrick Cohen. I'm HR, R, and what is your complaint?

Yeah, I got a big complaint. I showed up. Hi HR, I have a complaint too, sorry. I don't mean to cut off, JPL. Oh, a Falkin Flu in the Window. Oh, a Falkin Flu in the Window. Hello. JPC planned a two week vacation and is trying to find

any excuse to let us, What do we for two weeks? How dare you? How dare you? You know what? The first people I'm telling about this are the fine people and definitely who run the Airbnb that I booked because they're going to, when I tell them their faces are going to hit the floor. They don't necessarily speak English so well. So I'll'll have to count the exclusives will be in my room.

Welcome to this haunted mansion. Your awesome has passed and you need to sew which uncle. Um, am I doing this right now? I'll just have you know, I'm saying which uncle W I T C H. Yeah, my which, but this is going well, right? This is what you want it. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. This is going well, right? This is what you wanted? Yeah, yes, yes, yes, yes. This is what I wanted. Thank you. Well, now that that bits out of the way, I saw a big tree this weekend.

The tallest tree? No. The widest tree. No. The silliest tree? The croçmorta. I saw General Sherman tree. It's the heaviest tree in the world. General Sherman Oaks, I get it.

How do we know that it's the heaviest in the world? That's what I asked. I went, how do I know? It's the most tree that's inside of a tree and it's 2,200 years old. And they checked all the trees? I'm not sure if, you know what? That's also a very good follow-up question. I'm not sure we've checked every tree, but it's huge. And I can't believe a human hasn't cut it down yet because I saw it and I immediately was like, I want to hollow it out. I want to make treehouse. Yeah. We do love doing that to trees, don't we?

Not even a treehouse. That could be like a, like a pneumatic tube tree. Like at the bank. Remember the bank pneumatic tubes. Oh, I remember the bank. Oh, yeah. Oh, I remember the bank. But how was your weekend? I saw a big tree. I like trees because trees are like, we need those on the planet. Do breathe. They're actually doing the thing with, they turn what we turn the air into back into air, right? That's, that's, that's it.

You gotta go back to teaching high school science, JPC errand to back into air, right? That's that's all you got to go back to teaching high school science, JPC. How to enter there are they? And what do we do when we see these trees? We say, let's cut these motherfuckers down. Let's see if we can, let's see how many hot dogs we can fit inside of it. Let's see the way fair bookcases we can make out. Yep.

Oh, let's have your theorems we can make up. Yep. Oh, so we can have a beer, you're in this we can make. Go drive out to f**king Skokie and fill up a warehouse full of them. That's my floor, beer. I went to New Jersey for the first time. How was it? Oh, I'm so sorry. Great, that happened to you. Well, there are parts of it that weren't so great, mostly the driving.

But then I went to, there was a wedding I went to on the campus of Princeton, absolutely gorgeous campus, unbelievable. And I learned a bunch of little factoids about America there. And I didn't know Thomas, no, not Thomas Edison. Albert Einstein taught it Princeton. That's where he developed his E equals, um, um, um, MC's rappers. Yeah, sure. He would tell you that. I don't know. Actually, they would say that.

They would say that. They would say that. They would say that. They would say that. They would say that. They would say that. They would say that. They would say that.

They would say that. They would say that. They would say that. They would say that. They would say that. They would say that. They would say that. They would say that. They would say that. They would say that. They would say that. to their university. I had amazing ice cream and bent spoon. I had delicious sandwiches at Hogi Haven. I went to the grounds for sculpture garden, which was beautiful.

So I had a very good time. I applied to Princeton. I was accepted on a conditional rowing scholarship to Princeton. The condition was that I spend 10 to 12 years getting really good at rowing. I did not, I will say, did not meet the conditions or the I guess Oh, Scholastic requirements or whatever. I had a conditional scholarship. They demanded I wash my hair.

Um, so I don't know that's not what I say. That's what I say. A very good weekend and a lovely wedding and I'm trying to think it was a bunch of banned kids, a bunch of banned nerds and then a lot of have you guys heard of hashing there's a lot of hashers don't know what that is yeah that's people who make hash and like washing machines over the hashish it's it's like a running club it's more like you run smiles and you like chug beers and then you run some more and then you chug beers then you like do little dances and

people Oh The answers anything under if the answers anything above 17 Acceptable, unacceptable. That's the last age that you should be if that's a thing that you're in And JPC did you have a good weekend? No, so Did you have a good weekend? No, so All right, well, I said big tree

Addle hung out with 17 year olds And they had a bad weekend No, we they were Asperrational 17 year olds Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm Thank you. I call it a burn pet and it's for my documents. Oh great. I Call it a burn book and it's full of people I went to high school with and the nasty things that I can say about them. Okay My name is Darryl Fraser. No, it's not Aaron. I'm a bad teacher in Bloomington, Indiana But grew up on the north side of Chicago. Does it sound like a character? I found out about you guys when you guested on Dungeons and Daddies. How nice.

Daddies, wait, I immediately went to episode one and started listening. You have entertained me on long drives, half-marathons, good for you, and when I needed to pick me up, that's so sweet. I have warm-up brittles for you all. I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoyed your work. If you do, I have more. Thank you. I think someone from our guest spot on Dungeons and Datties

got a flight risk tattoo. Oh no, I don't think it was Darrell. I think Darrell would have mentioned it. But Darrell, you were impressed by your email until we realized you didn't get a tattoo of something we said. Honestly, we don't know that because if I got a flight risk tattoo, which is a joke that we made on someone else's podcast, I don't necessarily think that I would lead with that.

When I was telling people about stuff about my life, I don't necessarily think that that would be number one of my conversation sheet. Darrell, I think you should get a tattoo of JPC crossing his arms. And what what what should he be saying, Adel? Have there be like a word bubble, like I'm going to say something, but then instead, just have the tattoo and it's turn it into a big sandwich. Like I'm just eating the big sandwich, but it is a word bubble. Okay, yeah, Darrell, get that. Or have them say not my backyard. I do wonder if someone got a tattoo of me, just of me, the person on their body,

like what's the reference that they're using for that? Are they like, looking at a picture of me, or are they like me? From memory. From a local nightmare. Yeah. Someone describes your voice. I feel like I don't see a lot of tattoos of real people.

Like tattoos of like the face of a real person. Smart, because what if that person ends up being a shitty person and you tattooed them on your body? I was. This is my whole thing with a Pikachu tattoo. And that was like, what, 2016? And it's like, what, 2016?

And it's like, what, 2016? And it's like, what, 2016? Which is basically a cop. Yeah, exactly. When that shit dropped, oh my god, embarrassing. I said, Donna dig in a sip of water right before I was out. when that shit dropped, oh my God, embarrassing. Did Donna dig in a sip of water right before I left? A cab applies to you, Pikachu.

All Pokemon are about. Just to make me laugh really hard that when people haven't seen you yet, they think you're like a tall blonde surfer, 80s movie villain. 80s movie villain, yeah. And it just makes me laugh that that's what your voice sounds like to other people. It looks like Walla Weegee. That is name. There were, I, I, at one point, this was like maybe five, six years ago, this is before Hey, Rude River.

Someone sent me a, like, Walla Weegee hat. And a, when I was wearing it around for a while, I was like, this is like a vibe. Like I can do this vibe. I was at the point where I had a big mustache too. So I had a very, I could, I could do a Waluigi vibe. It's, it's, I'm not as Italian as I'd like to be, but I can come off more Italian than I am.

Anyways. That's what should be in the word bubble. Let's do these warm up riddles. I think that they're really fun and you're going to enjoy them and he's a Brandon. They're from Darryl. Darryl, I do have one question. I'm going to turn our listening ears on today, boys and girls. No, Aaron, I do have one question, which I just realized. Super Mario Brothers, famously Italian is. Famously. Yoshi, an Italian dinosaur. Italian is Yoshi an Italian dinosaur

I can call him and ask Italian dinosaur sounds like like rhino like a Republican and they've only like Italian dinosaur sounds like short for something I'm not really sure if you're driving and somebody cuts you off on the interstate or something, and your brain is frazzled, and you don't have time to think up a good insult, it's like, hey, you Italian dinosaur, and then the person in driver seats,

like, what is that? What was that about? Yeah. Yikes. If I'm doing the ADR for the TV version of Die Hard, I'm gonna be calling people Italian dinosaurs. Like, Yippee-Kai-ya, Italian dinosaur. It's making it there a lot.

What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? Ooh. John have to. Lamb. Not a bad start. Hold on, I can do these all day. Not a bad start. Oh, is it you?

No. Uh, covered in chocolate. Think like real simple simple. New get. Oh, word. Oh, milk lamb. I don't know. Chocolate. I mean, just to give you a sense of how these are going to go, I'm just going to give you this one. No, I'm going to do it to us. Then you'll understand what the like the press. it'll set the precedent, ready? Fine. But here's the first chocolate. What?

As soon as I understand, I will now exist in this reality where I do understand and I kind of do what to just dwell in the space where I don't get it for a little longer. Cause it is. Oh my gosh, I can check my notes and it says here that that's not my problem. No, it didn't, it didn't show me. Holy crap. That's what it says here that that's not my problem. No, it didn't say it was a show me holy crap.

I feel like I'm in a David Blager right now holy crap. A candy bar. Oh, so be a boss and joke. Brand that is for Boston. No, they're not all Boston jokes. They just don't come little. They're good. It's a big bar.

GPC, Darryl. Wait, Darryl, who's Brandon? Brandon lives with Darryl. How does a beaver know which tree to cut down? Because damn, that tree's fat. No. This is a beaver know which tree to cut down. Oh, my question. Beaver don't cut down trees. They just take the fallen trees and turn them into industry.

Yep. Sorry. G. B. C. used to teach high school science as you already know. I know you were going to say I used to teach beaver. Hey, this is not a screwball 80s comedy. Yeah. You don't tell me I used to teach beaver. But it's a good start.

They're made of wood. They love that you're thinking like that, but no. That's like something that they and thinking like that, but no. That's like something that the fan wilder would introduce himself as. I'm gonna tell you, right? Wait, wait, wait, wait. Which tree, how does it even know which tree to cut down? Mm-hmm.

Aaron, can we tell us this? Is this a pun? I really wanna get this right. Yes. It's rotting. It's a pun. These are all gonna be puns, basically. Or like little like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like little like like like it's Timba it's Timba Timba we're back where you're back on the sheep you've like around the sheep buddy we're

gonna hold on we're gonna tie at all tethering back to the podcast rules out is it is it something sassy are you like is it something sassy like wouldn't you like to know like would you like to know that I love where your head's at. You are officially in the right mindset, but no. Fuck, okay.

That was a beaver, no witch tree to cut down. It'll find out soon, but first a break for rest. Forrest? Okay, before rest. Addle again, you are so. Is it like a big long sentence? You're right. It's like a big old sentence.

Yeah. How does a beaver know which tree to cut down? Whichever one he choose. Oh, I was so close to teeth. I was like, beaver's a big teeth. That's improper. Tell it to. Yeah, it's true.

They're animals, Adel. You think they have good grammar? They're animals. Hold on, choose is. Brandon and Darrell are not animals. They are human people who love the podcast. No, not prove it. We don't know that. We don't know that.

Where do you find the center of gravity? Earth. Earth. G-R-A-V-I-T-Y. Is it A? No. V. Come on. Yes.

It's V. Oh, you're right. It is V. You guys got're right, it is V. You guys got it. I'm proud of you. Which train do pigs ride? That one is six flags. Which train? Can I tell you, I went, yesterday I was driving on the highway

and I went, whoa, are those roller coasters? Whoa, is that six flags? And then I blacked out and I was on a roller coaster. No, no. I impulse went, I pulled over to the side of the road. And I went to six flags and I rode two roller coasters and one of them was the worst roller coaster I have ever been on in my life.

Aaron, is it Hamtrak? It is Hamtrak. Okay, okay, so it was Hamtrak. Wait, Aaron, is this real? You drove by six flags and then you just pulled over and went in Uh-huh Is there like a six flags isn't like Disney right like what the admission fee is there an admission fee? Well, so Sean like to like a year ago went to six flags with his college friend

Okay, and he came back in the house and he talked for 20 minutes trying to justify that he had bought two years Season pass of course he had free parking and he tried for 20 minutes trying to justify that he had bought two years season pass. Of course he had. With free parking and he tried to let me know how actually he's saving so much money and I was like, you're probably never going back. And then we got up to the front and since he had a special pass, I got in for like $30. Okay.

Which is expensive, but isn't like $170 or whatever the hell Disney is. Yeah, I don't, Disney is so expensive. Disney is like, it's like $400. It's insane. Did you know when I first went to Disney back in 1970 that they had Disney bucks you had to buy in order to spend money in the park? Wait, you had to carry on a huge deer with you just to spend money in the other. What did you do to me in 1970? No, but when I first went, it was probably like 89 or something, you had to exchange your money for Disney bucks and they're like, they look so fake

because they are, and it's like a little Mickey Mouse is at George Washington and that's the only way you could buy anything in the park. And then it is, I feel like there's something where it's like, we couldn't re-exchange it. So I feel like my dad exchange X amount and then at the end we are left with like 32 extra Disney bucks We just couldn't do anything That's also how they pay their people right they pay them in Disney bucks

And then you have to like use the Disney Bucks to like rent your shovel and your lantern I pay your mortgage in what's the name of that area? Yeah, and then I guess if you don't like they hire a bunch of pancartons to come and shoot you It's weird there. I but we love it. If you if you want to advertise If you want to advertise how the show density we love it She Hulk coming everywhere Check it out or not coming. It's up to her. It's totally her call. That's the white I'm like 40 minutes. It's been 40 minutes, right?

Because someone, I think it's been 40 minutes. I'm spoken. Well, then there we have to take a break. She come on her schedule. No, I actually, oh, my sister text me. Don't make me come. You wouldn't like it when I come. I'm sorry.

She makes me uncomfortable. The idea of it, the app, everything makes me feel kind of sick. And I was like, yeah. Well, Marvel went off the rails and there's no getting them back. Okay, I would like to see a scene. Yes. You are a lot of strangers on a train. You are two pigs on a train in your strangers and you get to talking and you realize you're in a unique position where you can do a favor for each other. Got it. You're in a unique position where you can do a favor for each other got it Sorry it was I I don't know if it was I I must have woke myself up and must have me who was sleeping and then I woke up We were to my kids Sorry, I was having a dream what did I say that out loud Tommy Jimmy? Why don't you give dad a why did you give dad the room here?

I want to talk to this man. Yeah Claire Marshall. Why don't you head out as well? Here's a 10-pickbox go by yourself some slop. Yeah, that's from both of us So what yeah for my kids too. That's from both of us. Come on, are you gonna tell me that you don't know me? That we're not old friends? That's that from both of us? Considering what you're gonna ask me in two seconds.

That's from both of us. Yes, your dad's uncle, uncle, what uncle Piggy? Come on, man. Uncle, how did you know that's by name? Uncle Piggy, and I have to talk. Why don't you get set up? Okay, I Come on, man. Uncle Piggie. How did you know that's by name? Uncle Piggy, and I have to talk. Won't you kids head out? Yeah, head on.

They're gone. Listen. They're gone. I need you to kill my kids. Because pretty soon, they're gonna grow up and they're gonna need money for college. Mm-hmm. Daddy doesn't have that money. Well, we are in a position, my friend,

to help each other out. Because Tommy and Jimmy my kids Actually not my kids the professional assassins that I'm smuggling into St. Louis on this trade. Oh, this worked out great I guess I was gonna say your kids look pretty old the one has a eye patch and go T Mm-hmm and military fatigue, so I was curious. Yeah, but that's Jimmy, but Tommy He's the one with a lot of cool shit oh yeah yeah yeah jibby describe how he looks jet black jet black straw hat uh it's that a black straw hat slick back straw hat you know he's a straw hat there's slick black jet black straw hat uh

instead of lakes he has fence posts fence posts. Big old tattoo of his back on his front. Mm-hmm. And uh... He's a killer. And a road fighter. Now, this solves your problem because you want you need professional hit pigs to hit your pigs. It has to look like an accident.

Of course, they're professionals. They're out of town pigs. They'll do a good job. Don't worry about that. Like they tripped and fell into a bullet Okay, yo, I don't go to your work and knock the brew out of your hand. Okay, don't tell my guys I know how do you know how to sweep up slop that gets to my problem that you might have a solution for okay? You smell fucking awful get out of this drain car. This is a private sleeper car I bought my family. I don't know how you got it here. Okay, you deal. We got to deal deal. Okay, good.

I want to see you fucking pig ass again. Seeing. Aaron put on sunglasses. Aaron put on sunglasses. Was the scene getting too bright? Yeah, you are too shiny of stars. I'm on a podcast with a couple of shining stars. Aaron, I have a question for you Are those sunglasses from that sponsor that we had that one time? No, I bought this with my human money The real kind

I saw bullet train last week Okay, how was it? I don't know. I don't know. I Loved it. I like a good now. I was it? I don't have old training. I loved it. I like a good, now I feel like I'm comparing every action movie. I see the RRR in terms of how fun it is. Yeah. And I put it in like a seven out of 10 on the RRR scale. Like it was a blast.

I thought that. I was, I'll go ahead. Oh no, I was going to say there's a couple performances in it that I thought were truly excellent and very, very fun. So I would recommend going to say there's a couple performances in it that I thought were truly excellent and very, very fun So I would I would recommend going to see that in theaters if you like that kind of thing I have a question for you guys have either one of you seen I think it's called the 3 5 5 yet So I'm one of these streaming services. I texted you about it. You got to watch it. I really want your opinions on it It's very good. Watch the whole thing. You told me it sucks.

No, no, no, no, no. I said, it's over two hours. Watch the whole thing. It's what I hope you do. I hope you do. It's got, it has one of my favorite sequences in a next movie that I think I've ever seen. I've, Mare and I were both baffled by it.

We were just watching it. Absolutely baffled by it. I can't wait. Which is what you want. You want to be baffled. You want to be baffled. You want to be baffled. Why is a stick of gum like a sneeze? Cause you attew it?

Yeah. It's a chew. Mm-hmm. Cause you attew it. How did the hunter get hurt while bending over to study some tracks? Uh. Deer came up behind it and rammed them in the ass.

Addle. He's bending over. He really think that that's the ass. Addle. He's bending over you. He really think that that's the answer. I'm hoping. I know, it's not low. Were they tire tracks going in reverse? That's funny.

It's similar to that. You're not totally off. So what was it? How did the hunter suppose? Oh, get hurt while bending over to study some tracks. Yes, KPC. It's Moose tracks like the ice cream. He was bending over, but he didn't see the protective glass that had jerrys, and he just

smashed his face into the glass. No, we're not asking for you to tell us what happened to you this past weekend. We're asking you. Wait, I never said I shit my pants. No one. You. Look, if a face slams against ice cream blasts that hard, you get a shitting face. It's a compliment.

It's a compliment. the energy has to go somewhere This is a compliment to the ice cream chef They should feel they should feel very grateful That's insane That's a pretty good answer to I know but it's not bad How did the hunter get hurt while bending over to study some tracks got it? Yes, saddle it was hunter Biden He left his laptop at home Hurry man and the tracks he was ready cover where him I think it was like having sex with prostitutes, I believe

What are you doing? How did the hunter get her while bending over to study some track? Can I ask a question, Aaron? Yeah. Is tracks like animal tracks or is it the train tracks? Oh, train tracks. Kind of tracks. Wow, train tracks. Him got hit by train. Yeah, train, hit him.

I love that. I would like to see a scene. I'm Adel, you are a hunter and JPC, you are a deer and JPC, you're just getting annoyed that he's following you and you're telling him to back off. Hey, man. Huh? I don't have any money. You're just getting annoyed that he's following you and you're telling him to back off Hey, man, huh, I don't have any money I can't help you I can't help you I'm duck call You try you trying to use a deer call deer I hear you man I you're you've been following me in this forest for I want want to say 10, 15 minutes now. Yeah.

Do you need something? I, you're, you're head. Okay. Okay. I want to, I want your head. I thought so. You're, so you're a hunter. I can see you're in, you know, head to KMO.

It's the wrong KMO for this environment. What? What is orange KMO for? It's just if you're going to like a six flags, what is this? I don't know. I mean, I went to bass pro shop Okay, which I guess is my first mistake. I should have gone to the deer pro shop Yes, this is what they said I'm supposed to wear in the Mm-hmm deer nest or whatever they call it we sit up in a tree Yeah, and they gave you what they gave you this fishing pole because you've been trying to hook me with this fishing pole as you

Just yeah, so this is this ass. I'm gonna work Yeah, and they gave you what they gave you this fishing pole because you've been trying to hook me with this fishing pole as you're just Yeah, so this is this that's not gonna work. You're gonna need like a gun or a bow or like a knife. You're not gonna give you a fish Okay, don't you want this worm eat this worm? I'm not gonna run this worm dude. I get that out of my fucking face. I'm gonna I'm gonna hurt you. I'm gonna throw up Whoa get that word out of my eggs Yeah, and I'm rearing back like I'm gonna I'm gonna you hurl. I'm gonna throw up whoa get that word out of my eggs Yeah, and I'm rearing back like I'm gonna box your ass you come any any closer to me I'm going to deer hoof you right to the head. I swear to god. I will where'd you get your jeans? These are jinko, okay

I Got these at the gathering of the jugalos. I go every year what yeah, it's a no-'s an Ohio. It's always a great time. You get fucked up. I got so fucked up on ketamine, but it's worth it. I met some of my best friends there. I met my wife there. X-wife. Well, X-wife sister.

Oh. Do you all spray each other with Fego? Is that real? Man, you're so out of your fucking element. You're asking a fucking basic-ass question. No, I'm in the right fest, which is similar. Okay, yeah, go ahead. Please, please tell me how riot fest is similar to the...

This is Woodstock, 1979, and Woodstock 2000, maybe, or 1999? What is the bad thing? Right fest, you know, I saw a prisoner there with 9 snobs, and there's like a fun little circus and you know the little carvel games and stuff and it there's a lot of like stripes Going on. It's kind of silly is Trent resner secretly Christian Then don't talk to me about that. Oh, wait nice nails. They nail Jesus to a cross Yes, I guess he is okay All right, well, cool, fun story.

I guess I'll catch you later. I guess our business is done, it's concluded. I wanna find you like an animal. Didn't Abraham slaughter him? Now we're getting there. Now we're getting there. Now I know why you came out here. I see.

Now I know why you came out here before us. Why was the Fencing champion so honest? foil Why was they had points Fencing champion so honest No one could point out everyone could point out his flaws. He wasn't on guard Smart but the plenty of what's the the the fencing foil is called the an eté, eté. This was like always a crossword.

Yeah, you're thinking too hard about it. I want someone who doesn't know fencing call that. Sword. Why was the fencing champion too honest? What was the question? Why was the fencing champion so honest? And then he's word ahead a bit. He kept his sword. Yeah, he was the manencing champion so honest? And then he's word I had a bit. He kept his sword.

Yeah, he was a man of his sword. Sword. He was a man of his sword. Next word. Just three more of these though. Let you take a break, Adel. Oh, I do want to see you see. Okay, great. The two of you are fencing.

JPC, you are wearing the full Brighalea and I've fully done everything. Aaron, you are wearing no protective gear and you have like a big broadsword Judge Judge No, you all know it time time out time out. I'm taking one of my time out. What we get three Judge you want to use a lifeline Time in no time out. Oh, I'll have that a two. I'll call a friend. I look at a photo friend. Okay. Who'd you like to use a life line? Time in no time out. Oh, I'll have to do it. I'll just call a friend. I'll leave the phone to friend. Okay. Who'd you like to call? Okay, can I call?

Jesus Christ. I don't have many time in left. No She got herself with the sword she's trying to lift it over ahead. She can't wait right I'll allow it. Can I get a default wind judge? I don't even have protection on it He's coming at me with this thing I'm not myself with my own sword. Are you serious judge? Are you gonna allow this? I'll allow it judge Kit obviously she's hurt look. She should go to the medics. Can we get the medic can the medic come over? Will you allow that wait obviously she's hurt. Let's let's ask her shall we ma'am? Are you hurt? No? She's obviously bleeding time. She's losing a lot of blood back It's first as judge you know you can't see this you should definitely hear it

As soon as you turn your back to her she is screaming. She is just screaming I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I Okay, there you go. Time in. Ah! Josh! Josh! Can I afford it? I'd like to afford it. No, Josh! Time out, time out, time out, time out, time out, time out, time out. Oh, you just need all three. Oh no! You're done with your timeouts? Look, listen, in my one timeout. Okay. I'm gonna win, but it doesn't feel fair that he can come at me because I don't have protective gear on,

so I feel like I should only have to get to go after him. And I'm not bleeding, I'm winning. That sounds fair all the way, Simon. Judge, no, Judge, I want, I, I, I forfeit. I do want to forfeit. Thanks for his not worth it. Prince of his not worth it. I don't want to be in that battle,

find another weird, uppercrust sports activity. Yeah. I'll try pull up. Judge, she stabbed herself. I did. No. that battle fight another weird uppercrust sports activity. Yeah! I'll try pull up. Judge, she stabbed herself. I did not. I did not. We don't know that. She judged the sword as in her shoulder blade

and it's also pinning her foot to the ground. I'd argue I saw the amazing Jonathan do the same thing 20 years ago. Judge, and he turned out fine. No, did you watch the documentary? Yeah, he didn't turn out fine. He did. He was fine. That's how you get into the Skull and Crossbones. Skull and Crossbones. Skull and Crossbones. I do remember I maybe did watch that documentary and I think it has a sad part in it

but I don't really remember his story. He does heroin on camera. Yeah, that's the one. That's the parts that's like very so. Yeah, very so. What did the mechanical man do when he ran out of money at the poker game? He bought he wrote bot in more from Yeah, robot. What was that he wrote about it? I don't fell asleep. It said. Nighttares. What he asked for your gear for somebody.

Roachered gear. What did the robot your gear first of my rooster gear? What did the robot do when he ran out of money in the poker game? It's a poker pond He fold house. He he flushed he flushed he flushed He caught he straight he called He caught it on the river. He ring ring toss and he He caught it on the river. He ringed, ringed us. And he gave a guy a hand in his job.

He folded his hand. Wow. He threw his hand. He threw his hand. Okay, is that a poker term? Is that, I've not, I've heard the term, I've heard full, but not all your hand. I gotta see another scene.

I gotta see another scene. Aaron, Adel, you are professional poker players in the World Series of Poker. And I am the dealer and I'm gonna keep reprimanding. You're the last two in, but I'm reprimanding your bad behavior. Okay. Jeff, you are the big blind. But I will say this one time, and this is the last time I will say this. I will say this one time. This is the, please listen. This is the last time that I am saying this. After the hand, do not throw your cards at me. You can scoot them across the table.

Michelle, I feel like you're trying to get them in my mouth and you're doing a really good job. What, do you think I'm pretty? Do you think I'm gambit? Yeah, I'm, hey, stop slapping me. And Michelle, please, this is odd TV. I'm not drunk. I'm not drunk. I know, please. This is odd TV. I'm not drunk.

I know. I didn't say you were. You have a drinking problem. I can't answer the question. Do I think you're pretty? Because I don't want that to. You're putting me in a comfortable situation. That's how you don't.

I'm peeing. Oh, OK, that's a loud call. I call. I call. Get off your phone. You can't have a photo to save my wife, I call. Get off your phone. You can't have a photo to save on my wife. I call, I call her. Let me look at the number. This is this bookie, is your wife's name bookie?

Yeah. Can you play Earl by the chicks? So I can sing? Do they not call themselves Dixie chicks anymore? No. No, they dropped the Dixie part like I think like 20 years ago Really? I think so. I guess I just Was it really just a couple? Yeah, can you play it?

Something with the Iraq war where they got mad at the president. I'm all in. No, sorry. I'm a huge all that fam Sorry, that's what I wanted to say Okay, I haven't dealt the cards yet for the new hand, so no one needs to be calling for all it or... You're right, we should take shots. For your birthday, right? It's not my birthday. Oh.

It's not my birthday. It's tomorrow. Have you ever been the birthday? We get these shots for your birthday. Damn it. I wish I had the cards in your mouth. Dustin, you could have just said, stop, stop. Every time I look at what he trends had these cards in your mouth. Dustin, you could have just said, stop, stop. Every time I look at what he said,

the cards are by now. Well, those are birthday cards. These are birthday cards. Oh, right. Oh, right. Someone's here. No, you just threw up poker chips. I don't know.

Have you been eating these poker chips? It looks like this is salsa and poker chips. Yeah. I feel a pockim Pokemon and then you eat them. I do have three of a kind. I have a hallmark anniversary, hallmark anniversary, hallmark anniversary. So I win the pot, the weed.

No, hold on. Hold on the table. Wait, I'm looking at all these cards. It's all these cards are anniversary cards for your anniversary today. Is today your anniversary? That's why I was calling my bookie, my wife. Do you gotta get home? This is out my tab.

I don't know, I don't think you do. I'm your P-E-E. Oh no, I just pee, I'm sitting in pee, that's not my last name, let me make it. No, you're name is Gloria urine. You peed in my tab, Gloria urine, you peed in my tab. I was gonna drink this later. I'm spinning on poker chips all over. A pfft. You're spinning them into my mouth stop. How do you have such a-

Blah, my body is such good aim Do you like do you think oh You know what here's what you're gonna do here's what we're gonna do we've been here for 14 hours What we're gonna do? Everyone's all that we're just gonna do high-card wins and then we all get to go home. Does that sound good? And then we should skinny dad Okay, so I'm six two and I'm standing on a chair and I'm holding my card way up here I'm gonna take the money. I was gonna go

This buddy I was just gonna go. I was just gonna get the fuck out of here. And that man, all this money for himself. Okay, but our dark glasses, and lonely mountains, and make up, where'd he go? Your honor, she doesn't have all the words. Okay.

Well, the girl, my love, my name is. We never expected Aaron to know all the words. I know all of the words that song do not suggest that I don't know all the words. Aaron, if you do all the words that that's what they want to do better time all through the high school days both members of the 4-H club both active in the FFA after graduation Mary and when out looking for a brand new world no no wonder

like all around this town and all see paramas or she's up in her eyes wider she's gonna realize one that she doesn't know quite too well She's gonna realize one that she doesn't know quite too well She's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's gonna, she's Thank you from there. And Earl walked right through the restraining On her and butter and intensive care Right away, Mary and this part, maybe because you cry. A flu in from Atlanta on a red eye midnight flight She held Monda's hand. You look at her. Put her to play and then it didn't make a lot of noise.

Oh, she used that lap to skip over some minutes. That Earl had to die. No, I didn't. She didn't. Nah, nah, nah. Break. Let's go to a break. Here's the eye., I got one more

You got a 0% You were trying to say blues travelers the hook and you didn't do a good job at all Yeah, you got the right we'll be right back Hey jpc you know how I love, he looks sleep, I love that he looks mattress brand, best nights sleep in my life. I know not everyone is on board yet, so I secured award winning sleeper, Merrill Sleep. She's right behind that door, Merrill Sleep. Wow, she won the Golden Pillow for best sleep. That's right. Hey Merrill.

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Oh, stunning. Yeah, look, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to helix sleep.com slash riddle. This is their best offer yet and it will not last long with helix better sleep starts now. Go ahead and give her the Academy of Snorr. The Snorr? Academy of Snorr? You know what? Give me an Academy of Snorr. Glint close to falling asleep. That's why I got you. Oh yeah.

I got that a lot. Hey, Adel, hey, Aaron, I got a bone to pick with the two of you. Oh. Sure, yeah, I wore the skeleton outfit just because I figured this was coming. Happy Halloween a few months early. It's not yet. What is it? So you know how the two of you, I was like, guys, I am always so hungry

for lunches and dinners and the like and you, jokers, told me, oh, JPC, it's okay. All you have to do is take some, you know, American paper currency, tape it to your front door, close the door, and then wait until someone brings you food. Well, I kept opening the door and the money was gone. So I had to tape more money to my door. I think you didn't work at all.

Oh, door cash. Door cash. Yeah, you did door cash. We told you door dash is the number one thing to you. What the hunk? With door dash, you'll enjoy next level convenience with delivery in the hour, making it easier than ever to get whatever you want

delivered to your house, whether that be back to school supplies or whatever it is that you eat. JPC, which I don't know what you eat. I eat back to school supplies. But wait. JPC, all your favorite retail, grocery, and convenience stores are on the app so you can chop everything, your kids, your dogs, your family, might need for back

to school. And hey, personally, just yesterday, your dogs, your family might need for back to school. And hey, personally, just yesterday, I bought some Marsha's homemade premium quality buck eyes, you know, those candies that are chocolate stuff with peanut butter. I just got those from DoorDash and they were, they were on my porch within 20 minutes. And it's very, very dangerous because they're delicious. Did you fill your belly and your pantry? Uh, yes.

Did you fill your belly and your pantry? Uh, yes. Did you fill your backpack? I did. Okay, well then DoorDash has come again for the gold. I remember distinctively the stress of going back to school and going from store to store to get all my favorite snacks and pencils and pencil cases and all the things that I needed me and my siblings and I remember how stressed my mom was and I know that she would have loved to have door dash so she could be prepared before the big back to school day arrived. So you can stock up with go to breakfast lunch box staples and brands that you love don't eat my school supplies JPC.

JPC put that away. Put that trap or keep her down your mouth is too small. Never been told that before. Shop door dash to get everything you need for the back to school season delivered right to your door. Order now for stress free back to school shopping, use promo code RIDDLE to get 50% off up to $10 value. When you spend $15 or more at convenience,

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Yeah? Hey, GPC. Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking at all. And I'm setting up a whole website to prank him. Um, can I just need some advice? This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you.

We're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to sit online whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand. Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website. It engaged with your audience and said let anything for products to cut into time all in one place all on your terms. Hey, Addle. Come here. Come here. Hey, what's what's going on? I actually

I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merchant create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay.

Wait, what's going on with Adel? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing, new, and he's again, too, and I'm going to use analytics, use insights to grow my business, and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm going to improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website, the prank activity.

Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. The website was for. Remember what's the website for? Prank. Square space. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Madel?

I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. be got her. Frank, but how I don't know All right, we got a couple more riddles from Daryl everyone learned their lesson that I knew all of the words to Earl by the chicks. Now we all are going to listen. 10 weeks ago, nobody is allowed to eat. What a man. Whatever man, it was literally 30 seconds ago.

What was the truck doing with a load of hogs? What was the truck doing with a load of hogs? What was the truck doing with a load of hogs? Lori, huge Lori. Huge Lori, yes. Seminole, play in that car. Play in that car, did you? Semipork.

The truck is a load of hogs. Pigpin. It was. Is this a truck boner or a pig pun? Yeah, this is a truck boner. It's a pig pun. Pig pun. Pig pun.

Did the truck have four-squill drive? Love it, Not it though. That's better than anything that is gonna be said. Four-squill drive. Um, truck is loaded with hogs. Bacon? Yeah, there's bacon. Ham.

Ham to consider. Ham radio. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Oh, a pork lift. It was trying to find a... Porking spot.

Yeah. Okay. Was it trying to parallel a pork? Oh, that parallel pork would have worked too. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Parallel. Why did the Antware bathing suit in the kitchen? She was trying to wake her in a super alcoholic jealous. Microwave.

Why did it wear? I said, I told it. What? You said microwave. That did it wear a big seat? I called it. What? You said microwave? That's the answer. Oh, there's a microwave like an answer to the tiny it has to swim in a microwave. Oh, okay, okay. So it's a surfing ant. It's a surfing ant.

This is an ant man. This is the plot to ant man. A tiny little ant surfing serving on a micro wave. So, thank you. Those were great riddles, not nope. These next ones are from Joel and their limbic riddles. And Joel is from Illinois and just started listening to sitcom D&D.

Thank you Joel, check out sitcom D&D, Adelaide, and D.P.D. have both been on it. You know how to check out billboards or magic. How Aaron picks the emails now. Magic time. Wow, just dropped the hello from. I've never heard you have used the hello from when you were describing magic tabern. Not one.

Hello from a magic tab. Have you guys made that joke? No. Well, well, I would argue. Well, I guess they're not firing and all cylinders over there. Are they? That song from 10 years ago.

Whoops. That one slipped to the cracks. No, you're right. You certainly got like emails or tweets for people being like, hey, you didn't do a hello from the other side. We get a lot of stuff where they're like, you should have done this.

And it's like All right, buddy. It is it. You missed it armchair podcasting love it. Oh God, I'd love to do that. I'm sitting in this. I'm doing gaming chair podcasting right now. It's fucking awful All right, here are the Lindmerk riddles has some lyrics limits Bottle of red bottle of white. No, it's on it. I'm just gonna be a little lyric riddles Oh, I love it. Someone will do that now when I let we set it.

Sorry, whoever feels the burden curse of that to write those. I hope somebody just writes riddles and makes us read them like we didn't start the fire. Some use them to make you feel glee. Some use them to cause you to flee. Some use them to play you and sway you and delay you. And this Famous of your famously my lucky number my favorite number 33 and third is has to do with records Jesus died at age 33 that's Jesus, yes, fast robins

You're not you're off you're on the wrong track. I'd say some use them to make you feel glee Some use them to cause you to flee some use them to play you and sway you and delay you and this riddy has 33 vowels tongues You're close with vowels, tongues is insane. syllables. Oh, syllables. Symbols.

No. Samba. When you put letters together, they make words. Words. Words, yes, and they say. Oh, when you put letters together, they make tiny little letters. Nope. Three letters. I used 33 as two words, LOL.

So it's just trying to make it work. But I thought that was great. All right. Very nice. I like that. Well, I guess that's really good. Sorry, JPC. What's the word?

Hold on. It's like four sucks. He sucks. Sorry. Hold on. I have my tone thing. I got my tone voice module later on. I don't know how that.

I don't know how that sucks on track. I guess it stuck on sarcasm.. I don't know how that. I don't know how that's stuck on Sarkasum. I guess it stuck on Sarkasum. Oh, it stuck on Sarkasum. I guess I've been big trouble. Holy shit, yeah, it's definitely. I think it's been stuck on Sarkasum for like 200 and how many 16 episodes? Oh, has it.

I wish someone would call a wellness check. Okay, use me when I'm on a ring. The city might give me as blank. Tap me for letters, the skeleton unfedders, and Aaron can use me to sing. Uh, did it use a Roger Federer? No. Because it's a tennis record.

No, it's not. Damn it. Diamonds? I know this one. Let's see. Let me think. Damn it. Diamonds. I know this one. I know this one. Let's see. Let me think of another rhyme for this one.

I think I got this one because I'm, I am rewatching, well, Mariah is watching for the first time, a lot of better call Saul. And so this is very, very on the brain for me. And which is also really fun because I'll catch like one of, out of every three episodes or like parts of episodes And they'll be like what happened and she'll be like I don't know don't ask me that question I can't tell you what's happened on this show

Everything and nothing is it a payphone? No, no Aaron. I'll be taking out duty stuff giving him the correct answer Everybody gets it. Okay, okay. I use me when I'm on a ring. Okay. You use me when I'm on a ring You can put it on a ring. Look at ice rain. The city might give me as bling. The city gives this to people key to the city. Yeah, you got it. Oh, it's good. Like James, yeah, I'm sorry. I forgot that you were speaking on behalf of me. You know, I can. It's my press secretary now. So anything, any information that comes for me is going to go through him. So Adolf, you have any questions right now to ask me?

Aaron can be. Can I be your bench press secretary? And can I be your bench press secretary yet? Too much wait for the horse. And JPC, you do need to answer Adolf's questions on my behalf. What's the question, Edel? Can I be Aaron's bench press secretary? Oh, I don't care. And that'll be you're fired. That'll be the answer going for it. You're fired. Yeah. I do want to see a scene. Aaron, you're the mayor of a town and you are giving JPC the key to the city for a pretty, pretty wild reason. I wore, I think, in the email you said, business casual, so I'm hoping this is. Great, great, great. All right, good neck up.

Hello everybody and welcome to the yearly key giving ceremony. I am your mayor, mayor, doop doop doop. And I am here to present the key to the city to Jeffrey Jeffrey. Dear slogan. Do you're slogan about your last name? May I do do do do he'll trail off at the end of every That's why we love him. We are giving the key to the cities, Thank you.

To the locksmiths, That made the key, key, key. Sort of like a snake eating itself, itself, itself. But, you hear Jeffrey say some words, Make your speech speech speech speech. Uh, well, um, this is such an honor. Thank you, Mary. Dup-dup-dup-dup-dup-dup.

Uh, I gotta say, this key is too big. It won't, it won't do anything. It won't open any doors. It's too big. It's a big key. I made the key too big. I, here's the thing Feet and inches the symbol for that. It can't just be two dashes one dash that we have to figure out a different thing

Because if I'm reading the email late at night Sometimes I'm going to flip inches and feet and I'm gonna make a key too big So I guess what I'm trying to say Terry if you're out there in the crowd. do apologize we're gonna get you into your house. I I know you've been locked out. I know you've been locked out for a couple days. I got swept up in this whole thing because I made the key too big. We're gonna get you in there buddy. But as soon as I back to my shop just bear with me. I guess to everyone else just write the word would you send me emails? Write inches or centimeters or what it's also Can you have standard sizes just say it's like a number five? That's all I need to know we I love when you measure it, but I'm sorry to drop. Why aren't you echoing?

Something with me or your boys Oh my god Mayor doop doop doop doop doop doop you took the mic Yeah, you have you have to start your speech over oh no one can hear you I know but you can hear me right? I mean I was basically it's a speech to Okay So so This is awkward We've been doing this for a couple of days.

I love to get you back in your house. As soon as I get back to my shop, but we keep restarting the speech. Wait, have some fun with it, say the word money. It may be like, money, money, money, money. But that's not an echo. I mean, you understand.

You understand. Look, if anyone thinks they can do the speech, then it's Mayor, you know. See, see, see, see. Elements a bit like this fellow, which makes sense. He's right next to yellow. If he's with champagne, you will not complain. God damn it, why won't this rhyme?

Colonel mustard. Orange. Yes, it's orange. Fuck, orange. I sometimes stand up after bed. And I can be black, brown or red. Some say my loss results in a gloss and getting me back costs some bread. Is this like a white comedian from the 80s? It is!

No. Paul Ryzer? Can I hear that one more time? Sometimes I rise after bed. Sometimes I stand up. Sometimes I stand up after bed. And I can be black, brown, or red. Some say my loss results in a gloss and getting me back costs some red.

Oh, okay, it gives me back costs some red. That, I think I lost it on that one. I can be black, brown or red is, I think, very helpful. I think there's also another color it can be. Or red. These are red. I stand up after bed, something that when you get out of bed, it stands up. My penis? penis after something you want to share with the class

No Are you sure? No my grandpa bought in World War 2 Yeah, but which side Teacher I guess that's interesting. He wasn't an Italian, was he? He's an Italian dinosaur. They chose the wrong side. Let's see. So first I was thinking like yeast or something. Something that rises after bed. Is there like something that like there's certain plants that do that? It's attached to your person. It's attached to your person.

Pants. It can be wrapped on a rest. It's attached to your person. Getting it back after you've lost it is expensive. Oh, hair. It's hair. It's long-tailed. Thank you, Joel.

You're finishing. Yeah. I forgot to ask Casey to do voicemails. I forgot to communicate voicemails, so... Well, not only that, but you forgot to ask the wrong person. Yeah, you. I know. I'm just saying. Full process. I did not do so. We're gonna do this. Aaron, I do have mail upstairs. If you want to read a letter, I can read a letter.

I think one of them might even have a riddle in it. I would love that. All right, Casey. Let's play that mail back to you. That'd be all love. So much. Would definitely like it, too, that would add. Mail. Male. Male. Like, hey, we actually have some male. This is actual male that was sent to us on the show.

I mean, there's a brief note and then there's a couple of other things. I'm going to read this note. Here we go. This is Aaron Adel and JPC as a long-time listener of the show I knew when I found my person. They would be forced into loving you guys too. Always love to hear that. Your show has carried me through hard times and through the best times of my life and I can't thank you enough for that.

Shortly after we started dating Megan quickly learned every word of your theme song and the two page around ones and also fell in love with your show. It is something we take time to listen to together and laugh with each other. There have been times where we have followed a sleep listening to the show and Megan has woken up to Aaron's voice thinking there was another woman in our house. Thank you for creating something on the 12th of that together.

Sorry, I was there. But I was like, I actually think this was a boundary cross. I gotta get the hell out of here. Doesn't seem upset that there's two loud dudes in her. Yeah, I'm gonna say what it's hard for us to say. She's like, oh, that's like the guy who went on the line or something. Yeah, my was gonna say what it's hard for me. She's like, oh, that's like the guy who's going to move in the lawn or something. Yeah, my voice is famously

sounds like a fucking lawn, but I get at the same decibel count. Thank you for creating something we can both laugh at together and bring joy into our lives. We truly do love your show. Don't die and thank you, Eric and Megan. It says, you can use our names if you read this.

And I think what dies a magic timer thing's the magic time or thing, right? Yeah. Well, I guess fuck you, Eric and Megan. Uh, here's what Eric and Megan said. I might be confusing myself. Eric and Megan said to us, Invitations do their wedding. It's all right. Well, I'm not going to say exactly where it is or where it is,

but it's, it definitely says Eric and Megan is together with our families. We jointly invite you to the wedding of Eric and Megan. It's a place in, I will say it's a country. Oh, okay. I don't know if I can make it. I will say it's in, I will say mid-November in Virginia. So we have to RSVP, I think we have to RSVP soon.

Oh, and we're invited to the night before. Wow, we can do a light-bite show. Light-bite show. Light-bite show. Light-bite show. We're gonna show. Light-bite show. We're gonna show.

We're gonna show. Light-bite show. Light-bite show. Light-bite show. Light-bite show. Light-bite show. Light-bite show. Light-bite show. Light-bite show. Light-bite show. Light-bite show. So you said me they're running websites so I can stock it. Yeah, we, I'll give you, of course they have a not, the not website.

Oh, yeah. Oh, and they even have a hotel information on here as well. Well, this is very cool. It looks like if we wanted to, we could ruin a perfectly nice spot in Virginia sometime in November. So that's something that we could, a good thing we open this mail pretty quick. We should all show up dresses the riddler and crash this wedding. I will say there

is something. What do you guys mind if we had our hey riddle riddle convention same weekend, same hotel, same venue, same moment. Um, I will say there's something that they mentioned in the letters, something like your podcast helped carry me or something, which gave me the inspiration. Okay. Should we make a motivational poster? And it says, it's like two footprints in a sand and then on either side of them are. We're insulting Christians already. Are three other footprints.

Mine is maybe like dinosaur footprints. JPCs is like a, like a dead body being dragged. Aaron yours is like rooster feet or something. And then it says, rooster feet or something. It says when there's eight foot prints in the sand, that's when you were listening to Heyroder Roodle. Uh huh. Well, someone's gonna make it,

it's someone, another, again, an artist is burdened by that. Now they go, well fuck, I had a lot of freelance work I had to get to, but now I have to make this poster. And when there's eight foot prints in the sand, you were listening to Heyroder Roodle. I'll tell you what, I'm not gonna make it, but will I talk to a bunch of people

at Eric and Megan's wedding about it? Sure. I can't wait to come to your wedding and tell people about my business ideas. I'm gonna dance so hard, it's gonna make other people not wanna dance. I'm gonna go up here in the dance floor. I'm gonna go and make you wish you had never

had an open bar. We have, I wish. We have a about a month to decide if we're gonna go an open bar. We have. I was. We have about a month to decide if we're going to go to this wedding. I think we show up. I think we show up. Maybe we don't go to the wedding, but we do go to the night before light bites and appetizers. I think very funny.

I think the part of the final thing to do is for the three of us to go dressed to the nines. Yeah, show up right before the wedding, meet the couple and say, our apologies, we cannot make it. And then we head out and go grab dinner. We're in town for a burger cake. What a nightmare for them that they invite three podcasters, sort of as like a bit where they go like, it would be got a suite to send them a wedding invitation.

No link. Well, moco, that we are so bad at reading social situations that we show. Oh my god. It's so expensive. It's so expensive. It's so expensive. That's like $200 ahead. Are they fucking kidding me with this?

And we're like, Hi, we're going to be so annoying. We don't know anyone. If we consider the table with the bride and groom, we will come. Welcome. Here's what I'll say. The wedding is in November. I you probably have a lot of this stuff locked away in planned. I will come. Welcome. Here's what I'll say. The wedding is in November. And you probably have a lot of this stuff locked away in planned.

I will come. I will come to this wedding if I have three conditions. I get to officiate and I get to pick the flowers and the food. And if I let me do that, famously, they decided to tell the day before. And I'm only going if I get to pick the seating arrangement.

I get to decide what relative is sitting with what college friend I'm in charge. And I will come on two conditions. One, I get to like Mystery Science Leader 3000 the entire speech as JPC officiates. Okay. The whole Vowel ceremony. And then two, I get to have the first dance and it's me alone on the dance. So I get to dance however I want. Adel, do you have your first dance song? I'll think that's a rush. on the dance to the dance however I want. Adel, do you have your first dance song up in the trash? Well, he was ready.

Don't invite us to your wedding because one day we will show up to one and it will not be funny and you'll go actually guys, okay, seriously, try, can you remind me the names of the two? This is Eric and Megan. Eric and Megan, I need you to actually consider what it would feel like when your aunt comes up to you and goes, who are those three? And you go, oh, um, we listened to a podcast and we reached out to them sort of as a joke to invite them. And then they flew here for the free meal. There's like a dinosaur or dead body in

a rooster. And they kind of, I don't know what they a dinosaur dead body and a rooster and they kind of, I don't know what they do. They kind of run around. Yeah, one of those rooster feet. Also, who knows all the words to Earl by the day. I mean, we get this invitation. It doesn't really say like, do we all get plus ones? Like, are we breaking six people to the wedding?

Because that's fun. Okay, a new caveat, a new condition. The three of us will come if we all get plus ones. So we all have to find, make friends with someone named one and bring them. Well, here's the thing, when we do a live show, we get 10 comp tickets, usually to give out to friends and family who want to come to the live show.

So if we go to a wedding, we should also get 10 comp tickets, right? I agree. Yeah. I actually do agree with JPC just this month. Yeah. Well, yeah, so we're going. We're definitely going.

Aaron? I'll be there. I think can we do some plugs at our own? Yeah, I want to plug three things. Why don't I plug Eric and Megan's wedding have a wonderful time. We can't wait to see you there. Please be prepared and please warn all the guests so that they're not taken by surprise To I want to plug I was recently a guest on a fantastic podcast called braving the elements. It's an avatar review podcast hosted by our own

Janet Morph Janet Varney for things and our own Janet Morphe, Janet Varney, fourth host, and Dante, the voice of Zuko. So I was on there with the two of them talking about the episode Zuko alone, which is famously one of the best episodes. So please check out my episode of Braving the Elements and all the previous and future episodes of that. And then three, I wanna promote, yes?

Well, what did John Travulture say when Olivia Newton, John, left him for a second on the set of grades? He's Danny Zuko alone. Oh, the ship paper. And three, I want to plug our, it's got to be coming up in the next little bit here. Are upcoming live shows? Oh, if you're, if you're near, if you're listening to these now, this now, that was last week. No, never mind.

Well, I do have a live show coming up. I will plug and upcoming live show, hello from the Magic Tavern or Magic Tavern, as Aaron calls it, lazily. We'll be performing at the Bell House in New York City. Hey, Brutal Rital was just there last month, so, or this month. So please come check out October 14th, which is a Friday. Come check out hello from the Magic Tavern at the Bellhouse in New York City. Go to, I wanna say hello from themagetaper.com.

I cannot remember, or go to the Bellhouse Venues website, the Bytickets Now, JPCD, have anything to plug? I wonder, is it magictavern.com, or is it hello from the magic tavern. And Aaron, if you were making the website, what would you? Well, I'm a regular, so I could call it whatever I please. Of course, I'm seeing my plugs time to read a five star review.

If you want to get your review read on a future episode of Hey, where I'll just go to Apple iTunes and submit a five star review. And then I will read whatever you put, for instance, this one coming in from Stephen H. In parentheses, use my name. Guess what? I use all the name Stephen. This one says J from Stephen H. In parentheses, use my name. Guess what? I use all the names, Stephen. This one says, JPC is a dog. JPC is a slimy rat man.

But God, do I love him? Aaron is underappreciated. I wish Adel was my dad. Thank you, Stephen H. for submitting that riddle. Maybe talk to anyone else in your life about that. And Stephen, I want you home by 10. Wow, 10, cool, that. Wow. 10, 10, yeah. Wow 10 cool that. Wow. 10 10. Yeah. Cool. I know. I'm not

really that. I want to ask people to watch the TV show 101 places to party before you die featuring John Gabriel's and Adam Palley. John Gabriel's also another headgamer. I want like a hundred more seasons of them. It's so, I just need other people to watch. So it gets more seasons. And I'm not pretty funny. It's so good and so comforting. It means, it's like at least 12, or else it can't fulfill its promise, right?

Like it has one. Yeah, it has to, I can't do the math. Nobody can do this math. Can I tell you, I got a rationally upset because I watched the first two episodes and I realized that that was all there was at the time Like it was it's it comes out like week to week to week and I was like Brian I were pissed. We were like what the fuck is this like?

There's still doing TV like this come on you gotta be kidding me. It's so good And it really does feel like the type of show that I want there to be like hundreds of episodes of it So you can just like it just it's so watchable. I love it I hope that they do it for many more years. I'll never forget, it was not the last time we were in LA, but the time before that, we were walking, I can't remember where we were walking in LA, and a car pulls up to a stoplight and we're crossing the street. We were just, we were on Melrose. We were on Melrose, and a car pulls up and somebody rolls on the window and screams, it's a little reddle and I was like, oh this is funny, a fan spotted us and we look over and it's John Gabriel. You're like, oh I'm being made fun of.

It was Gabriel's leaning out of the passenger side window of his car and his wife was like acting like it was like, this is it, this is life with this guy, like it's normal. It was very funny. Nothing, very cute. Um, anyways, Jupiter, oh god I did it myself and it felt terrible. Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew I did it myself and it felt terrible. Ew, ew! I might bite my forever. I'm a man of war. I'm a man of war. I'm a man of war.

I'm a man of war. I'm a man of war. I'm a man of war. Yeah, hell yeah, buddy. Love that attitude. That's the attitude. No notes for this one right? No case you killed it man as always Thanks Nice massive restraint from Casey. You didn't hear a single sound board. How do you you're really killing it? I'm not proud of you guys for saying nothing worth a funny drop. Oh Shit

You really brought it back to us Oh shit, fuck, man! Wow, he nearly brought it back to us. Hey there, rules and tides. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. It's another entry into our state series with Alabama. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle, but join us at clue crew for $5 a month or the review crew and you get those out of free episodes for $8 a month. See you there! That was a HitGum Podcast.

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