Hey Riddle Riddle - #217: I Don't Know...

Episode Date: September 14, 2022

Submitted for the approval of The Riddle Society, I call this story (full of broken mirrors, 'New English', crows, royal party guests and a new voicemail theme)....I Don't Know. Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle  6351 W Montrose Ave #267 Chicago, IL, 60634 Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531) Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. And we're ready to run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run!

Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run!

Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run Run Roll Run Run Midnight society officially to 30 Ten 30 that's late Well, can we all agree we don't want to stay up past midnight. Well, it's a midnight society. What do you mean? I have a list change the name. Can we call it like the 10 30 team look? We all know 10 30 check it then we do minutes for blast meeting I think it is now a good time to bring up a complaint. I think it No, it's just after minutes from last meeting. I think it is now a good time to bring up a complaint. I think it is after minutes from last meeting I think an hour and a half is way too much time to check in and go over notes

I feel like the last hour 20 we're all in our phones Okay, is nothing sacred nothing is sacred. I guess. Thank you. Well, the dog will be back to the meeting The dog I brought is sacred and I'm a throw in the fire to release it spirit You have a story you haven't thrown your dollar to the fire yet Oh my god. Do you not read the emails? The dog goes in the fire first. I skim them. Oh my look This is why our minute society is falling apart is because we don't follow rabbits Robert's rules of order the chair seeds the floor to Miss Keith Who has the first story of the day? We we kick the chair out? The chair does nothing.

This chair hasn't told a single story. I'm gonna throw it in the fire. Ah! Ah! Finally, the chair goes. Come on. Can we actually skip ahead to the part of the meeting where we decide whether or not we want to vote anyone out of the group?

Yes. Okay, no, no, yeah, let's skip directly to that, okay? And it's a simple majority. And the chairs, the chairs a simple majority and the chairs and the fires and the chairs doesn't vote. Secretary and co-president of the Midnight Society vote that we kick anyone out of the group who thinks that talking about the minutes

from last week for an hour and a half is too much time. Adder or Phi here, bus driver and snack taster for the group, okay? I could not agree more. Uh, at JPC, Tinker, Taylor, solar, spy. I agree wholeheartedly. Mm-hmm.

Addle? We're kicking you out of the group. What? You are no longer in the Midnight Society. Wait, what Aaron said was about me? Ha ha ha. Now we are reforming. We are reforming a separate society called the 1030 Society.

No, it's called the out my minute society where We guarantee we guarantee we're in our cars by 1145 Can actually we skipped a part of the meeting where we kick people out for Changing the title to societies too much. Oh, no We can't that part come up until much later Aaron I put with you, but I've been kicked out Come up it so much later. Aaron, I vote with you, but I've been kicked out. Dang it.

Dang it. Oh, you know what? Fuck it. Why don't we just change it to instead of the whole minute society, we tell spooky stories. Why don't we do this? Why don't we do a riddle podcast for 500,000 episodes where we do riddles society? Hey, riddle society. Hey, riddle society.

We do riddles. We do improv based on the riddles. How does that sound? I have to tell you, when you said riddledle podcast that today I was listening back to one of our episodes that has or maybe by now it's come out. And there was a part so ridiculous. That was about she hulk. It was a joke and I go fawed in the house and I was laughing and she was like, what are

you laughing at? I was like, hey riddle riddle. I can't believe that this is a riddle podcast. Yeah. And then he said, you guys still identify earnestly. You guys still identify as a Riddle podcast? Wow. And then he goes, I actually don't consider you

a Riddle podcast and I went, wow, we're not, but you're supposed to say we are. We're insolvent. Well, the day I let some white man Choose how I identify. No, thank you Sean There's a moment where when we're talking about the Midnight society and all that where I was like and then the hey real society where I was like we should call our listeners Yes, the solution society and then I realized that's a terrible idea because yeah Yes, it's very bad

But for me, I was like what a cool what a cool addition. Maybe that great. Wolf. Terrible optics. Let's just continue calling them like salad sluts or perverse or whatever we can. Terrible optics. Speaking of my metal or five. Oh I continue to be in the service of the king. JPC. Uh-huh. And I am a riddle podcast, Aaron Keefe. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.

Ah. Uh, so how's everyone doing? Did everyone have an okay weekend? Are you okay? Yes. I had no weekend. I am okay. And JPC, I have to ask, was there an E in the weekend?

Or is it KND? I said, E in the week, it wasn an E in the weekend, or is it KND? So in the week, it wasn't in the weekend. Is that how the K endals it? It's like, yeah, it's in D, W-E-E-K-N-D. Honestly, really, I'm searching for just one week of song where I can help, I can help, help myself here. And then there's this. Lying lights.

I don't know, I'm single, I don't know the words of the weekend songs. I know his vibe. I remember I listened to a weekend album, the latest weekend album that came out, and where I was like, what did you think of the weekend album? I go, it's wild that he makes whole albums. Yeah.

Like all we need is one weekend song, and yet he puts up an album with like 14 of them on there. Why don't we need that much of the weekend? Just give us the hit, and I will say, people love him. Breaking news. I mean, I found out last night, this might have been the,

found out earlier Taylor Swift new album coming soon. We are very excited. I'm very excited. I'm very excited. No, and now didn't you hear Taylor Swift is officially canceled because she makes more carbon emissions than any other human on the planet. Is that a fart joke?

Yes. She eats clean, okay? There's gonna be gas. Shhh. I love that Taylor Swift's like carbon emissions that came out and she was like, actually I do let a lot of my friends use my private plane. And it was like, I don't know that that's better.

I don't, I don't know that that's better. I do love Taylor Swift's music. Yes. You know, problematic Dave. Uh. Uh I love that. I watched Moonfall this week and I hadn't seen it yet. James Bond. No.

Everyone's singing that in my house for too many days. I'm going to need you to stop right where you want. No, you're right. Moonfall of course is Marharsala Ali Which he won the Oscar? Yes Aaron what the fuck is Moonfall? It's the guy who directed Independence Day and day after tomorrow My favorite moment all time I saw the trailer for this this looks awful. It's crazy. I kind of loved it I had the best time. I mean, it's not no, no, no, it's not a good movie bad bad bad bad No, not good no, no bad miss, but it's about the moon

It's creeping up on earth. They're like, hi, mother fuckers But I don't have on the left side of the earth's atmosphere and then run to the right snickering. Yeah, it truly add all your I don't want to tap on the left side of the Earth's atmosphere and then run to the right snickering. Yeah, it truly, Adel, you're joking, but I'm not. Yeah, it is, ba, ba, ba, but I actually do need both of you to watch it whenever you can, because I would like to talk about it. I did watch it. I did watch the trailer too, and I remember watching the trailer too, because I saw that the premise was so unhinged, so that I was like, I don't watch movies.

I don't watch the trailers to movies that I'm going to see. I only watch the trailers for movies that I will going to see. I only watch the trailers for movies that I will not be watching it. I've been watching Moonfall's trailers. So I guess I'll poop this up wrong and have to watch that movie. Is it theaters only? Is it on streaming service?

Yeah, it came out and it was a flop in theaters and now streaming. I imagine that. I imagine. We're kind of, John Lennon, thank you. I think we've got Amazon. I'm not 100% sure. I can watch this too.

Can I say this past weekend, I was stuck in an airport for 14 hours That seems to happen to you a lot and I have no sympathy for you because you fly for free Yes, what's up with flies for free is stuck in an airport It's like no you chose to do that by not buying a plane ticket, which the rest of us have to buy I did it to myself the bad thing is is once I realize I'm not gonna make it on a flight Yeah, if I go to like buy a flight, it's suddenly is $800. So yeah, buying a flight last minute, it's awful.

But I did spend 18 hours in the Las Vegas airport. So I watched all of, I mean, I watched a ton of stuff, but half of what I watched was all of the new Amazon series, a League of Their Own, when we booted by Abby Jacobson from Brought City, and it was phenomenal. I highly recommend it. Yeah, that's fantastic. Very, very highly recommended for metal. Right.

And the only thing that's new for me is I, been trying to get rid of this mirror, it's impossible to get rid of the mirror because it's made of glass, and we can't do anything, it's a society with glass. So I did what, some, I found some pointers online.

I put it in a cardboard box, I taped it all up, like it's just, it's a mirror and then I put it up for trash day by my trash can and I wrote on it in Sharpie, mirror inside trash. And they came by and they definitely took everything else in the trash and then they said, we're not taking this. And I was like, I don't know if it's,

what the fuck am I supposed to do? What do you do with it? I think I have to drive it to a dump, which I'm like, I think the trash truck is going to the dump, like they can't help me out. I'm like picking up and taking it. No neighbor wants it. It's a broken mirror.

It's here. Nobody can do anything with a broken glass. Here I suddenly feel very. Do do do do do do do do do do do do walk it on walk it on. I suddenly feel out of the loop and very nervous because I have absolutely thrown trash in the garbage time after time and broken mirrors and just put it in a box or in a bag and not labeled it. So I feel like I think a little bit I think a little bit of broken glass,

you can do, but when it's, I mean, this is a wall mirror. It is a humongous mirror that is shattered in this box. So it's like that. I don't, well, I don't know, I mean, eventually. Do you want to go to with John Wilson? Is it bad? And then it's in season two. That's what makes me think of.

Well, so like my thought is you have to put all this stuff on it because it could be sharp inside, but I've taped it up and shut it in it's like in the packaging still so it's it's not sharp inside But I guess once it goes into the truck The truck will just compress it and break it and then it's just a bunch of shat There has to be a solution here two solutions either one into the ocean and we'll turn it Sand free solutions a time time

I would say one is you take each piece and you sand the edges so that it's round glass and it no longer is harmful. Can't be harmed yet. Two along the lines of what Aaron said, if you freeze glass, does it turn back into sand? I think so. Okay, then do that. Put the fridge.

Here's my current plan. My current plan is. Thank God you're out. It's September. We're coming up on Halloween. All I gotta do is wait a little bit longer, and then I'm just gonna put this broken glass inside of like apples and candy bars and stuff like that.

And then I'll just hand it out individually to people in my neighborhood. It really disperse the glass. I guess I'm having my Joker moment. I think you'll feel it. I have, you just inspired me to maybe an even worse idea. Glue each piece of glass onto you. Halloween goes glass man.

Glass man. Glass man. Oh, the famous character from media. Glass man. JBC, of course, let us know what do you remember about glass man? He famously drives a pickup truck. Uh, yeah, I think what I'll do is all the time. He hates Tuesdays.

I'll glue all the glass to myself and I'll go as the breakable kibble shmit. Huh? I like it would all do as all of us. I'll glue all the glass to myself and I'll go as the breakable kimi shmit. Huh? I like it. I'm bleeding. I'm not super capical, but good. Kimi shmit. Yeah, that's true. It's maybe a few years off of the zeit guy's on that one,

but you could be broken glass from anilinix songs. Walk it, walk it. Yeah, okay, okay. Hey, so many good Halloween costume ideas because shoot pieces broke glass I have in my house. Oh, I watched something else. What? You know how we watched a million episodes of,

what is it? The one that got away, Adel. Oh, yes. When I did it with you. I think I swear to God, Adel and I blinked and I've watched like eight episodes in a row, but I have a new reality show that made like completely kept my interest and I watched it today, which is selling the OC, which is the follow up to selling sunset. Everyone on that show is insane. I can't recommend it enough. It's on Netflix. You can watch the whole

first season. It's out now. Crazy people. Love it. That's one of those two short-king bald brothers, right? Yeah, they're so small. I love those guys. Properties. Sell in the other side. I got you. I got out. Oh, JPC, what did you think of the rehearsal finale? Loved it. Perfect television show. So good.

I didn't know like that show is going to be taught in like universities. Like it's so interesting and wild. It takes so many turns, it's so hard to unpack. I feel like it's worthy of a thesis paper. It's just unlike anything else on television and for that reason alone, it should be applauded. It's just a very fun, innovative, like wild ride. And I love that.

I had such a fun time watching that show. The acting class episode With nipa's dad yeah, nipa's dad was in there was a big scream in my house That episode was I think one of my favorite episodes of TV of all time. It's front to back a perfect episode of television Um Well, I almost hate that I'm asking this question, but who is old man puzzles today? It's me Going to start doing riddles I truly have them pulled up and then I remembered I got kicked out of the show No, that was the midnight

That was it we changed the name It was a show within a show. You're good, you're good, you're good. I don't explain the opening. There is, it's no one. You're good, you're good. You're good. You're good.

Opening bit. Opening bit. Well, let's do some riddles here. Let's get into this fucking first one. I don't know. We don't need a segue for riddles. We just hard launch into them from now on. I think I don't know, is a perfect segue.

I think let's get into it. I don't know. I think saying, I don't know, is a perfect segue. I think let's get into it. I don't know. I think saying, I don't know. To yourself, perfect segue. Okay. Oh, yeah, that episode of The Rehersal is great. I don't know. What is the next letter in the following sequence?

I think that works, Daviesie. That actually felt emotionally correct. Get out of thin. I think that's the thing. If we can remember, here's the important part. If we can remember. I know. I guess my dentist is my biggest bully. If we can remember here's the important part if we can remember I know

Yeah, I guess my dentist is my biggest bully his first riddle comes from Rachel Next what is the next letter in the following sequence? Are you ready for the sequence? I can't get over the Midwest depression of... I don't know. I don't know. Anyway, I talked to my dad today. I don't know. I don't know. It's very Tim Robinson. I don't want to be around anymore.

I don't want to be around anymore. What is the next letter in the following sequence? Here's the sequence. D-R-M-F as in Frank. S-R-M-F, as in Frank, S, as in Sam, L-T. DRM-F-S-L-T. What is in the next letter? Doctor, motherfucking slut. That's right, it's me, Dr. slut, everybody. I like to see a scene.

They call me Dr. slut. I know. I'm not a real slut. Oh, okay. No, I don't want to see a scene where J.B.C plays Dr. Slut. I'm not a real Slut. Oh, you're mean. No, I don't want to see a scene where JP C plays Dr. Slut. But I was going to be diagnosed with Slut. Dr. Slut is my father. I'm Dr. Motherfuckin Slut.

Sorry, can you read the letters again? I want to write them down. I got you Aaron. DRMFSLT, Dr. Motherfuckin Slut. My father was Dr. Slut. I'm Mr. slut. What is it, DRM? MRM. And this is maybe a casual hint.

Aaron is, I think, way more likely to get this in the JPC. Oh, I got her. Aaron's smarter. It's due to Aaron's interests. Oh, I know. Give me the letter and then the reason. A D. It's smarter. It's due to Aaron's interests. Oh, I know. Give me the letter and then the reason. A D.

The answer is D, Aaron. Wow. Oh, my glasses just broke. Now I have to throw up. Oh, my glasses just broke. Now I have to throw up. Now I have to throw up. Oh, my glasses just broke.

Now I have to throw up. Now I have to throw up. Now I have to throw up. Now I have to throw up. Now I have to throw up. Now I have to throw up. Now I have to throw up. Now-ray me, fa-zolati-dol. Each letter represents one note in the- Wow. Diatonic?

Oh, so this is that religion by El-Ran Hubbard? Diatonic music school? I'm just kidding. Diatonic is a all-Akka Pelaband. Err. Err. Err, do you have any take on diatonic music? I don't.

I'm thinking about Julie Andrews and how I hope all of our best scientists are working over time to make her immortal. I got another one, a diatonic that is my go-to sober drink at a bar. Great, one more. You got one more in you buddy, come on. A diatonic diatonic. To unclog your balance, you took some diatonics. What else?

God. A diatonic what else God Tonic Well, while you think about it. I would do want to see a scene Aaron and JPC it is The years 2022 and the creators of the diatonic musical scale Want to update the scale for future generations? So it's no longer going to, it's still going to be

Do Re Mifasa Lo Tito, but the song Aaron that you sang previously, you two are in charge of coming up with a new song, a new jingle. So instead of, for example, Do a deer, a female deer, it's going to be all new examples. Does that make sense? Yeah, here we go. So we've been working around the clock on this for months. We are ready, ready, ready, ready. We are not stalling. We are ready. We do how you want to do it.

We have never been more ready to do the presentation. Ready. Maybe we do it each one at a time. Love it. Stop and discuss. Or if it's already. Doh whenever you're ready. Doh. I'm sorry. Would you say one at a time and you can stop and discuss. Okay, we're ready. Doh whenever you're ready. Doh.

I'm sorry, when you say one at a time, just to clarify, because we all read the same email, when you say one at a time. I skimmed it. Do you mean, because we have one song prepared. Oh, sorry, each one of these. Be the notes, so I do do. Which one of the notes? Yeah, but both of you at the same time, each one of the notes.

It doesn't have to be both of you at the same time in your own comfort. And we're married, we're married. Sweetheart, do you want to go first? So we cannot testify against what another? Yes. Because we have spousal privilege. So sweetheart, do you want to do Dole or do you want me to do Dole?

I still don't have a great concept of what we're in. I'll do Dole, I'll do Dole. I'll do Ray too, and then Dole, Ray, me. You do me any. Oh'll do no, I'll do no. I'll do right to and then I don't read me. They should definitely do a right to. Okay, if they could get Jamie Foxx, if they could get Jamie Foxx, they should do right to. The sound that Homer makes Ray Leota.

Okay, I'll stop. I'll stop. He just got stuck. He just got stuck. He just got stuck. He just got stuck. He just got stuck. He just got stuck. He just got stuck. He just got stuck. He just got back to work. Recently. Recently. I'm gonna stop you there. So first one was Doa.

Sound that Homer makes? Mm-hmm. Interesting. No, I get it. Doa. A sound that made Homer makes. We actually... Leo to Past Away.

Okay, well, stop you there. Again. We actually brought in, I forget their names, but we brought in the husband, wife team that created Frozen and I believe Avenue Q. Robert. Yeah, we've We've been trying to we actually they've a restraining order against us. Yeah, they're here. I have to be two and a feet away. So what they came up with and it's no shade against yours. They came up with doe is doe Italian bread.

And we really like that because kids like pizza. How will you just let us do our thing and at the end you compare. Okay, so let's pick up after Ray Leota's dead. That's what we... Ray Leota's passed away. Me, AT, PORX, METE. Okay, I'll stop you right there. So for me, you're adding two letters to make it a little more...

So is there anything else we can do with me yeah we thought me is too easy so he's not why not make it hard why not make it hard yeah we're trying not to make them fully different words can I can I can we finish can we please just finish okay far the distance a person from Boston travels like that don't read me that, so, so, an awkward conversation. Or no, so, an awkward, what's the word I'm looking for? Where it's like an award that you're trying to connect.

Oh, I got it. So, you pee this soup is hot. So, you pee this soup is hot So you pee this soup is hot. Okay pause real quick So if I'm hearing this right I could be missing some of what you're saying Are you saying so and then the letters you and the letter P to make the word soup? La la land should have one the yaskar. Oh, no. I'm sorry moonfall should have one and it did TME To go to bed

Okay, and that bring us back to That's made of red David boy That that's hope for from more the original Tracy Olin uh show version there exactly the one more time. Let's see we can remember it yet. Doh. Yes. The sound that Homer makes. Ray. Ray. You know that's how it's like. Ray. Me. A. T. Pork is a beef. Me. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, the bottom. The distance Boston people go go go

So you pee is you pee is super hot super hot Teet and me to go to bed and I'm sorry Back to you, dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb We're doing well. We're doing well. No one's having a breakdown. No amount of times where you say I'm doing well makes it so you're doing well. The more you say you're doing well, the less well you're doing. That's in that's how math works. Yeah, mantras don't work. I love just adding two letters to each one to make a fully new word. I know. What is unique about the following words? Grammar, uneven banana, assess, revive, potato, dresser, and voodoo. And I will say uneven banana is one full answer. Everything else is one word. Something unique about these words? What is unique about the following words?

Grammar, uneven banana, assess or assess. How do you say that? Revive potato or potato, however you say that. Dresser and voodoo. Did about like double letters? Something with like, they each only have like two vowels or something. It's not double letters because that would take out

Revive potato and banana. What was your guess, JPC? Something about like they each have only two vowels or like there's the vowels, something with, I don't know. No, no. Here's the thing about riddles like this. They are almost impossible to conceptualize what you just like to read. Read seven words and it's like, what about these words?

I'm like, well, I don't know. They're, here's I don't know. They're there. Here's what I'll say. Wait, is it is it consonant vowel consonant vowel consonant vowel? It's not, but that's a great box. Here's what I'll say. No, voodoo doesn't work. The answer to this has to do with taking one letter from each word and doing something with it. And then a surprising, surprising revelation. Okay. It can take uneven banana, assess, revive,

potato, dresser, and voodoo. If you take one letter out, it's still the same word. Explain. No, that wasn't part of the deal. I shouldn't have to explain every time I answer. An EV banana? Not any letter. I mean, obviously you have to take this.

Is it like you put a different letter at the front or the last letter? Aaron, you are very hot. Switching the last letter in the first letter or something? Or do you do? Close, but it just has to do with one letter. Voodoo. And maybe grammar is the easiest.

Grammar and potato are very easy to kind of Gage or maybe even assess potato So grammar assess potato The second letter in the last letter No Is it are you switching off the consonants? No, what is it to pay Po to pay Po to pay Po to to pay Po Does this have to pay Po on it? I'm a literature to pay Po What is it to Paypo? To Paypo. To Paypo. To Paypo. Does this have to Paypo?

Why don't I have a little trick to Paypo? I can't have to Paypo. It's a nice shade. Help me, Senpai. Senpai? So Aaron, you mentioned the first letter. The first letter. That's what we're looking at.

But what do we do with the first letter? And what does it, when we move the first letter, what happens? You flip it, you flip it up, so Voodoo becomes now, like what's happened to him? No, no, no. Yeah, that's right, that's gotta be it. I don't know, this is frustrating me, I'm annoyed.

You do take, Adel, do you take the first letter away? You move it somewhere, and not to Key West. So voodoo, and you move it to within the word. Yes, so take, so picture of voodoo in your brain. V-O-O-D-O-O. If you take away the V, what do you have? U-D-O. But, oh oh, D-O-O, right?

So what can you do with that V? Where can you place it in the word and what would that reveal? U-D-O. Oh, excuse me. Oh, it's a voodoo, everybody go to U-D-O for lunch? I have no idea. Oh, vo-dew.

Oh, vo-dew. Oh, vo-dew. So I'll give you the answer. So if you take the first letter of any of these words or phrases, and you put it at the very end, you spell the same word backwards. So if you put the V at the end of vo-dew, backwards is still vo-dew. If you put the G at the end of grammar, backwards is still grammar. In that kind of fun?

No. Too early in the show for English lesson. Really fun. I wanna see. I'm not really having fun. Yeah, looking to my left and we're saying not very fun. People to my right don't think it was very fun. I do not see.

Oh, please. Aaron, you are a high schooler. You recently got in trouble. And instead of detention, your high school is implementing a new program where you have to take new English. And that's a class created and taught by JPC. Hello.

I've never been in this class. Don't turn the lights on. Yeah. And it's tape shut for a class. Don't turn the lights on. Yeah. No, it's tape shut for a reason. Don't turn the lights on. Hey, are you our Kelly? Yeah, I can't see where you are in the room. I thought that this part of the school was under construction.

It technically is, and it technically always shall be. Don't worry about that Kelly. I don't deserve to be here. Well, I was afraid. I was running. You were running in the halls. I was framed Be that everyone else was walking in so motion Be that

No, they were trying they were trying to do a hard-life shake video. We all know they were trying to do a hard-life I mean it looked like I was running I can can run on this, I have a broken ankle. You think I can run, I was moving this. It doesn't matter, Kelly, Kelly, it doesn't matter because now you're in. Mr. Dimitra's class and we're going to be doing new English. Okay, so you're here for four to, what's that? I never even heard of you.

You're not on the teacher roster. That's honestly the way that I like it because I still draw a salary, but I'm like I'm like the most known unknown if that makes sense. No, you're not in the yearbook and no one knows who you are We cut to the first day of school where the teachers roster is announced Library What do you do?

German woman from North Carolina Betty Anderson cut again. I didn't even make the list, bullshit. At math feature, a six seventh. Cut back to present time. So anyways, I don't know who you are. Well, we're going to be learning new grammar. And like I said, I'm Mr. Dimensha, please sit down and take your seat.

Hmm, I can't find any seats. It doesn't matter. It's dark. That's the first lesson, just sit on the floor. Now, today, we're going to think about conjugation. So, normally, the way that we would... KANJA, huh? No, I'm not talking about when your dad gets to have sex with your mom at the jail yard. I'm talking about creating verbs out of... I have little spiders everywhere you will find. I'm talking about creating words out of the ether. So what is the English word for running to run? Running.

Correct. That's the old grammar way to say it. But with my method you take the word running are you in an I N G. You take the I N G which is called the gerent or the subjective part of pretzel and you put it at the beginning of the word. So the part of pretzel. So that word be running then becomes. Anger run. Anger run. What does anger on sound like? Anger run. What happened with in run? like? Angerun. What happened with Angerun? A huge scandal.

You were there? What you run with, you can't run with sandals. So in order to say it running a new grammar we say, I can't run. I'm wearing sandals. Do you see how it's easier? Yeah. I think I'm getting it. Now you're getting it, Kelly.

You didn't like three hours past. Wow, that was the best attention I ever had. Thank you for teaching me new grammar. Or should should say, you get home, it's like, Mom, Dad, learn new grammar today. New grammar, what's that? Oh. Oh, I don't know.

No, I didn't. I talked to a crazy man. Whoops. I humored a man for three hours. Oh. I can't say that's enough. That's how I describe the Puerto Cей Rital Rital.

I go, oh, Shawn, I just, oh no, nothing productive to have, but I just talk to crazy men for three hours. If we have any high school listeners, any college listeners, dare I say any grade school listeners, God forbid. God forbid. Please pull a prank next time you're at class where you get everyone in the hallway to walk in some ocean and then one student is not building on this looks like they're going super fast.

I love that. I love that. It's such an easy execution for that break. Oh, outstanding. Well, hey, speaking of an easy execution, we got to go for a little, whatever. I got to go get my head chopped off. Let's go for a little, uh, whatever. I gotta go get my head chopped off. Let's go to a break. For killing the princess deer, I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. What do you think you're a great, great, great girl? You're a great girl. Hey, JPC, you know how I love, he looks sleep. I love that he looks mattress brand, best nights sleep of my life. I know not everyone is on board yet, so I secured award winning sleeper, Merrill Sleep.

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It was even recommended by multiple leading chiropractors and doctors of sleep medicine. I don't think I thought you were the person that she's doing. Oh, she's doing it. What a performance. Helix mattresses all come with a 10 to 15 year warranty depending on the model. Oh, stunning. Yeah, look, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to helixsleep. com slash riddle. This is their

best offer yet. And it will not last long with helix better sleep starts now. Go ahead and give her the Academy of Snorr. The snorr Academy of Snorr. You know what? You mean the Academy of Snorr. Glint close to falling asleep. That's why. Oh yeah. I got that a lot. Hey, Adel, hey, Aaron, I got a bone to pick with the two of you. Sure, yeah, I wore the skeleton outfit just cause I figured this was coming. Happy Halloween a few months early.

It's not yet the... What is it? So you know how the two of you, I was like, guys, I am always so hungry for lunches and dinners and the like and you, jokers told me oh JPC It's okay. All you have to do is take some you know American paper currency tape it to your front door close the door and then wait until someone brings you food Well, I kept opening the door and the money was gone

So I had to take more money to my door. I think you think didn't work at all to take more money to my door. I think you're thinking to work out all. Oh, door cash. Door cash. Yeah, you did door cash. We told you door dash is the number one thing to you. What the hunk? With door dash, you'll enjoy next level convenience

with delivery in the hour, making it easier than ever to get whatever you want delivered to your house, whether that be back to school supplies or whatever it is that you eat. JPC, which I don't know, what you eat whether that be back to school supplies or whatever it is that you eat. JPC, which I don't know what you eat. I eat back to school supplies. But what? JPC, all your favorite retail, grocery and convenience stores are on the app so you can

chop everything, your kids, your dogs, your family, might need for back to school. And hey, personally, just yesterday, I bought some Marsha's homemade premium quality buck eyes, you know, those candies that are chocolate stuff with peanut butter. I just got those from DoorDash and they were, they were on my porch within 20 minutes. And it's very, very dangerous because they're delicious. Did you fill your belly and your pantry?

Yes. Did you fill your backpack? I did. Okay, well then DoorDash has come again for the gold. I remember distinctively the stress of going back to school and going from store to store to get all my favorite snacks and pencils and pencil cases and all the things that I needed me and my siblings and I remember how stressed my mom was

and I know that she would have loved to have DoorDash so she could be prepared before the big back to school day arrived. So you can stock up with go-to breakfast, lunchbox staples, and brands that you love. Don't eat my school supplies, JPC. CBC, put that eraser down. Never school. Put that trapper keeper down.

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That's code Riddle for 50% off your next order terms apply at all JPC keeps eating my gel pens Thanks door cash. I mean no, that's the one that one didn't work that one's bad Hey JPC Yeah You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm um Prinking at all and I'm, um, pranking Adel. And I'm setting up a website to prank him.

I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Adel. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand,

Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website. It engaged with your audience. And so anything for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Addle, come here, come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC, and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like is there like

Online store like it set up on my website to sell products. Did you know that with square space? You can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merchant create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money What is happening? Okay. Um. Wait, what's going on with that? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just sending up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna shoot you. And I'm gonna use analytics, use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm going to improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content

on my Prank website, the Prank site tool. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. The website was for. Prank. With Squarespace.

With Squarespace. You can connect to your store to Vedent Dirt Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, battle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial and

when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey, Erin, can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. I'm like a doll. Oh, um, you are like a doll that you are. I'm like a doll, but I'm not for playing. I stand up straight, but if windy, I may be laying. I'm well known and famous for having no brain. I work outside both day and night in sunshine or in rain. What am I? A flag. Oh, or a flag.

No. Can you read that one more time just all the way through? Because I think I got it. I think I got it. Okay, it's gonna be very hard for me to not sing the first line. Gotcha. I'm like a doll.

I'm like a doll, but I'm not for playing. I stand up straight, but if windy, I may be laying. Yeah. I'm well known and famous for having no brain. Yeah. I work outside both day and night in sunshine or in rain. Oh, no, my scarecrow. This is good.

This is a good riddle. Is this a listener's image? This is like an internet riddle. This is an internet riddle. Aaron, one of the two you just screamed was going at. It is a scarecrow. I'd like to see a scene. Okay.

JPC you Are a scarecrow and add all you are a crow who isn't afraid of him and that sort of hurts your feelings JPC Come shit. Shit everywhere shit massive shit Come hey, can I ask you a question guys? You a question. Yeah massive shit. Caaah! Hey, can I ask you a question? Can I ask you a question? Yeah.

What's going on? Why are you the only crow here? Man, every other crow knows to stay away. Uh-oh, how to go to the bathroom. Yeah, but, am I not terrifying to you? Like, what about you, since terrifying? Huh? You got rosy plump ass cheeks.

Yeah? You wearing jean shorts First of all, first of all, these are not jean shorts. These are it's an overalls jean short overalls I just have a shirt on over the overalls overall they're pathetic So that's it's you're wearing an old baby tech vest with no shirt underneath Your hay is spoofed out of the vest to look like chest hair. You look like a fucking idiot. Okay, you know that we don't get to pick our clothes, right? Like, I'm a scarecrow.

I'm an excuse. I'm, whoa, okay. I was created. But I'm like... I'm like... But you don't eat in for it. So, cards on the table. You didn't think I was a person for even a second?

Uh, no. I trick, I trick some dogs. I trick a lot of dogs. I trick the raccoon the other day. How did you trick a dog? Walk through that. What does that mean? A dog got surprised when they saw it.

I had a 15 minute conversation, one sided conversation with a farmer the other day, and then he noticed I was a squirror, got real quiet and said, no one shall ever know. He used the word shall. Can I say something? Please. When I saw you I gasped.

Okay. But not because I was scared, it's because I was surprised that your choices. I said to myself these choices, I called my best friend, I said, Reginald, these choices, Reginald came, he gasped. Okay.

Reginald came because I'm not seeing another crow in this field. So I call Balsha, I don't think you have a friend, I don't think you have a friend. What's up buddy? Motherfucker. Hey Reginald. Hey, where are you from? Yeah, I was just talking about the first time I told you to lay eyes on this bitch. Oh, it's so sad, huh?

The choices, look at these choices. I don't make the choices, I don't even, I can't choices, look at these choices. Ah, why don't make the choices? I don't even, I can't move. I mean, hey, I don't make my own choices. Oh, if you did, it would be even sadder. You have a Lebray piercing? Why do you have a Lebray lower lip piercing? Why?

That's not even my worst piercing. It's just the only one you can see. Ah. Well, well, anyway. Can I be honest, can I be honest? No, no, no, don't any ways me. Don't say I don't know the turn away. I don't know. No, no, we're not done here. You're gonna make shit poop. How much poop do you have? What do you eat? Infinite. Infinite insect. Infinite insect? We went to all you can insect. We went to an old crowed tree buffet. Yeah, and Babies I am a scared crow in a field full of insects because the farmers grow against X and they want you close to stop eating the insects

How is this not working? Do you date? You know I get around I get around you're out. Yes You have a pull up your ass. No well first of all a lot of people are into that I secondly I'm on Tinder But it's it's tinder as in what you used to start like kind of fire yeah exactly I'm in a hey You're crow's where do you have to go?

Why do you have one of those like bucket hats with a marijuana leaf that you used to win at carnivals in like 1997 hey, I stole this from jimmyrokoi fair and square, okay? Do anyway See you do you have a penis? Anyway anyway Anyway, see you do you have a penis? You know it doesn't know that Anyway anyway I Am the ruler of shovels. I have a double. I'm as thin as a knife. I have a wife What am I that's also the fun way to introduce yourself at parties. I am the ruler of shovels. I have a double

I miss thin as a knife, I have a wife. What am I? Ah, I don't know, but I do want to see a quick seed. We are all at a party. It's a gathering of friends and mutual friends, but we're all kind of talking in a corner because we didn't know that the king of shovels was gonna be at the party and the King of Shuffles just walked into the party Wow work sounds like it's really stressful. I do not envy you that sounds like it's a lot on your face

It's so much right now, but like her sure I'm on the class Look look but don't look Holy is that oh is that white? Holy shit Shut up, shut up. What, what? I'm sorry. Look. Do it. Look, but don't look. Holy is that, is that white? Holy shit. No, no, no, no, no, no. Is that shovel might? No, they can't be shovel might.

There's no arm might. There's no arm might. Oh, that's a can shovel. Why, who is he here? Who does he know? Does he know Mark? He must know Mark. He must know Mark.

He brought a gift. He has a gift in his other hand. Yeah, Mark. Like Mark is a real trap. Yeah. It's so many drops. Oh my god. And do you see the shape of that gift?

I mean, it's definitely a wrapped shovel, right? That's a wrapped shovel. Clearly, I'm going to go talk to you. Clearly, I'm going to go talk to you. No, don't. Are you joking? Tony, no, Tony, sorry. Tony's not brought with that.

Oh, that king, hello. Hello. Hi, King of Shovels. Mark's on tape. This is creature you are. Oh Hi King of shovels Oh You kissed my hand, but now you're making you're squeezing my finger's together So they're in the shape of a shovel no you're pressing them into a shovel My name is Lance and I'm also a friend of Mark. What is Tony doing Tony's give you a fake name and I'm seven foot two Oh my god the king of shahals look at the seat and I work as the president of fun and I just wanted to know like what's your

De like who are you wearing today? Christ, this is great. No, it's not doing a bad job Who you working? I'm sorry, you say it was LAST? Yes, my name is LLAN. If we're talking about implements, I much prefer a shovel. Everyone in the party laughs. Everyone in the whole party laughs. They're all waiting with bedded breath. Anyway, good talking to you, Leps. I have to be moving on. It was really nice really. Oh, it's not a tape.

I'm not a tape. Fuck, guys, he crushed. He's kind of awesome. Don't worry, what are you doing? Wow, can I smell your hand, Rick? Sure. What is it smellin'? Wow, it smells terrible.

It smells like a shovel. Oh, hey, guys, don't walk, don't walk. You just walked in? Oh, my God. It's, I walk, don't walk. You just walked in? Oh my god. It's, I forget. It's, I'll get over you. I know I will, because I'm the king of... The weekend?

No, what is that? What's the rest of that lyric? I don't know. I'll get over you. I know I will, because I'm the king of something. Oh, we're at the King of Shobbles coming down the background. Stop singing, stop singing. Who was singing who was thinking that a tongue-sick hearing song was anyone who was thinking? Uh, it was Betty.

It wasn't me it was him. Oh Betty, I should say shovel shovel. Kiss kiss kiss. Nice to make your acquaintance. Um, oh, uh, thank you. You know, I got a hole parked outside. Wow. Yeah.

Is it? It's deep. Oh, six by six. We made a break. Ew, what? What? What would you say? We say.

Anyway, I'm getting out of here. We're thinking. I'm getting out of here. If anyone wants to fuck in a hole, I'll be right outside. See. I think we got a new favorite character. Shuffle King. Sleeper hit with the shovel king.

I am the ruler of shovels. I have a double. I'm a thinnest a knife. I have a wife. The character is this is not a riddle. These are all quotes from JP riddles. I'm assuming this is a playing card. JBC ding, ding, ding, ding.

But which is, do I have to get which playing card it is? How did you guess it was a playing card? A thin is a knife made me think like the side profile of a playing card, but then also like the king has like a double, right? Like there's two faces on a face card, right? Yep. Okay. And also the doubles in terms Like, there's two faces on a face card, right? Yep. Okay.

And also the doubles in terms of like, there's two black and two red. Yep, yep, yep. Depending on how they are taking that. So is it a certain, is it like a king or is it just a plan? Yeah, and I think, I mean, speaking of tools. Come on, man, I'm right here. Did you see, it's got a table.

Okay, come on, another name for a show. Oh, a your seas? That's nice. Cool. Okay, come on. Another name for a show. Oh, a spade. The King of Spades. David Spade. No, come on. Yes, it is. I do.

I do think David Spade is the King of Spades. He's a short king. I was never ever ever going to get that. It is for Daniel Spades. The King of Spades. The King of Spades. Thank you, Motorhead. Uh-huh, uh-huh.

I don't know. When I point up, it's bright. But when I point down, it's dark. What am I? The flashlight on your iPhone. The answer was John Travolta in a disco tech. When I point up, it's bright. When I put, is that, do I have the right order?

When I point up, it's bright. when I point down, it's dark. I do think we need to stop from them and realize that what I said about the flush zone of the iPhone is correct. That is, that is. That is, the flush light that is your iPhone. That is your iPhone. You.

Is it like a lighthouse or? My dick's charged. Is it bigger, is it small? Not your dick. Sorry. It can be, it can be either Point up its bright point down its dark. Mm-hmm Aaron. Can you describe to me how a light house will point down? So I chopped it down

Aaron didn't really say anything. She just played herself off. I asked him the answer to the counselor. Um, I don't know. Light up. Okay. She played a song that sounded like you're falling for maturity. Wait a second. We don't know. Are we supposed to know? Fuck this. We don't know the answer to this. Yeah. We weren't briefed on this. That's all you had to say. The secret was inside of you the whole time.

Is there a hint, my man? Can we get some sort of hint? When I point up, it's bright, but when I point down at Stark, here's a hint. Okay. And I have no way of knowing, even in my own house, I have, I can't think of, I have a way of knowing, but I can't think of it right now.

I would say my house probably has 10 of these. Aaron, I would say your apartment maybe has eight of these. Cats. Oh, never mind. JBC, I'd say. Winno. JBC, your house and mine might, we might have more like 16.

Aaron, you might have eight. Tandals. Every house has these. Most likely, every house has these. Oh, is this light switches? They're light switches. You know the Nintendo switch that was like $150? Yeah, yeah.

More in. Same games, but. Yeah. Less power. Can I tell you this? I realized this today because I was, I guess there's no way that I could say this sounded good. I was cleaning my light switches in my house.

Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Yeah. Are you okay? I think I got to find something to do to fill my days because when I'm cleaning the lights, which is, no, what it was was I noticed that there was like some smuts on one of the light switches. I don't know.

There, just something was on one of the lights, which is like something, I got stuck there or something. So I cleaned it and then I was like, I've never cleaned these before. I should clean all of these. But I realized that some of the light switches in my house are like, I have one light switch on my stairs that there's one at the top and one at the bottom. So like if you turn one off,

the one of the other end is wrong, and those switch all the times. But I have some light switches in my house like the light switch in this room, that is just, and those switch all the times. But I have some switches in my house, like the light switch in this room, that is just upside down. Like, whatever one, yeah, whatever one should be on is off, and I realized that when I was cleaning them,

because I was cleaning one on the other side of the wall, and I was like, oh, why are these, like, why, they shouldn't be different, these should be uniform. I got to say, maybe like three or four years ago, that would have driven me insane, and today, as I was cleaning the light switch, I was like, okay, whatever. No, I said, that's fine or four years ago, that would have driven me insane. And today, as I was cleaning the lights, which is like, okay, whatever.

No, I said, that's fine. That's fine, man. Who cares? That's something for me to fix. Well, the way you just said that, made it sound like it was not okay. It's cool, baby. I said, I said, out loud.

Oh, it's cool, baby. And where I said, uh-oh, should I do I need to call the, and I said, oh, baby, yeah. Call them, call them, right? You need to call them. And they need to come here. And they need to give me the shot the way you talk Maybe the way to talk is like if you're at a significant others family reunion and something nice fun You and you're like are you okay? You're like yeah, no, I'm okay. I'm fine. I'm totally fine. This is totally fine

I'm gonna go no it was grab some more I am I cried for what 45 minutes I went in my rage room. I did I do my rocks and then I was fine. And I was better. And for me if I'm wrong, but in your rage room, fuck you, I won't do it. You told me. You look at the name of it. And you have a gorilla radio. Uh-huh.

I will say my sister and brother-in-law kind of fixed up my office downstairs. I still need to do some work, but they like help paint it. And then what they did was replace the light, the light switches, the plates with met like brushed metal plates. Oh, and I gotta say I love that look. It looks so clean and nice. And I think that the, it's not white. Where the white gets like scuffs on it and everything. Um, can I see a scene before I. Oh, please, but no, you can finish your story. I just, I literally, all I was going to say was that Mariah saw some door knobs on a TV show. And

she was like, I would love to have door knobs like that. And I thought, I thought that would never come in by my, I can tell her that that makes so much sense to me. It truly does. For her, it makes so much. She, she makes things better. And I go, huh, I guess things are better. Yeah. Aaron, if you close your eyes at any time, you can see a scene. Do you want us to do this? Yes, I would like to do a scene. For you to do a scene, Adel, you are a dad and you have just tucked your son, JBC, into bed.

And he doesn't want you to turn the lights off because he's afraid of the dark, but he's too proud to let you know that directly. So he's making up excuses as to why you can't. Aaron, I promise I was listening to that, but also I was thinking a daddle. Addle? You're a dad. I guess at the end of the day, you weren't listening. And that's okay.

No, I guess I'll try my best. But let's solidify. My new nickname is daddle. Daddle. All right. Who wants to allowance? Off you go, daddle. Okay. Hey, dad. Daddle. All right. Who wants to go down? Off you go, Daddle. Okay. Hey, Dad.

Hey, champ. Uh, what is tonight? What is tonight? Uh, we slept with all the lights in the house on. Oh, we... Like, it's like opposite, like opposite night or something. Like we do that like every week, once a week or something. Like a fun like...

I'm just trying to cheer you up because I know that you took the divorce pretty hard. Yeah, pretty hard. I will say as much as I love your idea, Champ Big Guy, I, you know, of course the year is 1904 and if I left the lights on that would financially ruin me. That would be I want to say 38 cents a week and I would I would have to declare bankruptcy. I'm a kid. I shouldn't have to know this stuff. Well your dad makes a bless you. Well your dad makes about 22 cents a week for my hard factory job in which I work 14 hours a day. That is phenomenal pay.

Whoa dad, that was such a good story. It's already morning. No. You talked all night. No. Let me go ahead. Stand up from this chair. Let me walk over to the...

Oh good, you moved up the chair, so now I can sleep on the chair. Sure you can sleep on the chair, but regardless, I do have to turn off this switch, which I'm doing right. Dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, before you turn off that switch. Yeah.

Can you tell me a story? Okay, um, yes, I'll tell you a story. And good stories have backstories. So like, I need to know who these characters are, what they want, where are they from. Like, are you familiar with like breaking bad and better call Saul? Like better call Saul makes breaking bad better

because you have the context. So like, what does it mark? What kind of level? Do think about it in terms of like, what is the story and then what is the six seasons of the story that make me Know the story. Does that make sense? Yes. The year was 1904, which is this year the president probably McKinley now A man we can't know for sure. We don't get newspapers in this area of the country We've heard a rumor, but that's just that. The man was standing in a window. There was no glass. And as he looked both left and right outside the window inside the window,

sure, he heard someone coming up the stairs. He'd have to jump. He knew he'd have to jump. So he raised, yes, I'm so sorry. The way that Vince Gilligan would do it is it would like open on like that man shoe being like Bill can I say son can I say like 15 minutes? I say I've told this story meet the man I've told this story 50 times this week 38 women have passed out from the story Now it may be to their corsets or Some other affliction in the air might be ammonia and the factory it might be just conventional storytelling And I just don't know I just don't know. I just don't know that that's what America wants.

Because we are smarter than that, right? Like we're ready to be shocked and surprised. We close up on Billy the kid's shoe. Boots again. We pan back and we see his spur. It's covered in blood and spinning and spinning. I don't know if Gilligan would use a pan shot right up the gate like, that's fine, that's a good choice.

Okay, uh, smash cut two. There we go. Lincoln dead in a box. Uh-oh. Time-dash backwards to Leretino. Arguing. Oh, Tarantino, is that Italian, uh, uh, fashion worker?

We smash backwards in time. Lincoln is arguing with his wife. Okay. We see them giving their tickets to the theater. We should use a star swipe in here to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to-

We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to-

We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- We're supposed to- star swipes dad you talked until morning well no not quite now I realize we we don't

do more period improv so hard to remember the facts I don't know well why don't we get into some voicemails and before we do I think we have some themes that're sent in, is that correct JPC? Well, we have a new voice mail theme, yes. No, no, no, no, no to say absolutely not. No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't know if I said it out loud. I specifically remember thinking no talented people. I was thinking the same thing. It really makes us look way, way, way, way worse. When we do bullshit,

well we have like new English scenes and then I say some dumb shit and get kicked out of the society. And then we hear basically a new pop hit when we hear the intro song to True Detective and it's for us. It makes us look like fucking dog shit. I will say that that one is from Birdie. Birdie uses any pronouns. Been an avid listener since the first hundie dolly give you a.

Love the show to pieces and wanted to submit a theme. Thank you so much. If you want to submit a theme, you can always send us a way file or something to HRRpodcast at gmail.com. I got to say, we have received some themes. This one I liked a lot, and it was the first one that I got, so it's the first one that I played. It was way too good.

Way too good. We also did get a seed where someone immediately emailed back and they said, please don't actually play the scene because they read our voice mail number in the theme, but they used the wrong number. And I so wanted to play the one with the wrong number because I think it's so fun. I had to play it. But I do like that birdie. I do like that birdie used 1 805 rental one in the theme.

That's something we didn't have in the last theme. That was amazing. Because I made the theme before I made the phone number. But thank you for that. Thank you for that birdie. Hi, Hey, Riddorito. This is Drew from Pittsburgh. I am taking my summer break as a teacher. And I am about to start my third listen through of all the episodes, which I imagine I should have time to do because my wife is taking me this afternoon to apparently what she said was get the help that I need.

I'm not sure what that means really, but I should have a lot of time to listen to a very good podcast of mine. Enjoy very much. Appreciate you guys. Love what you do. Keep it up. Thanks. Third, listen through.

He's a teacher. You can't listen to the show if you have to mold young minds. We turn your mind to complete, Jello. Yeah. My gosh. I have to imagine, upon the third, listen through, you probably start to hear the, almost like what the Beatles did with the White Album where you play it backwards and you hear like Paul is dead and shit, you probably have found the secret messages.

And if so, I would say race to where we buried the treasure, dig it up and congratulations. You're the first person to discover it. I have a question. Oh, go ahead. Oh, please. It's wild to think that someone has listened to the show three times through

because they know the show so much better than I know the show. I've had a lot of the show. Well, that was going to be my question is, what, who do you think holds the record and what do you think the record is of most listens of A Riddler-Riddell? I bet no one has gotten through it more than four times.

If someone fall asleep too and I'd say they've gotten through the whole series four times, but if you're not, I can't imagine that you got any more than that. And what should we do to punish that person? Or have they been punished enough? No, we throw him a parade. I think it's a person of parade. If you do hold the record, if you do hold the record, here's what I will say.

Set it down on the ground. Walk away. Walk away from the record. Just break the record. Smash the record. You don't need the record. Live your life. Big old straw.

But if you've listened to more than four times through, please let me know. I would be interested to- Unpopular opinion. You're a scan. Scan of your brain. Uh-oh. Unpopular opinion. I think the show is very funny.

And if you've listened to it a lot, that sounds great. Oh, it's so nice. Yeah, but it is. Unpopular. It is very similar to the ring where if you listen to this podcast seven times in a row, you do have to tell a friend about it or else you die. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. I think we have one more voicemail.

Let's hear it. Hi, Riddle Crew. This is Travis in Fargo, and I was wondering if you saw that a restaurant was endorsed by Guy Fieri, or featured on one of his television shows, would that make you more or less likely to visit that restaurant? Thanks. Wow. Love this. Yeah. Wow. I don't know how you live inside a movie, but

Are we settling a discussion this first shirt? We are to he got to an argument with something and Now we are settling whatever the discussion is their marriage hinges on what we say If it's if it's been featured. I think triple D fantastic show the discussion is. They're marriage hinges on what we say. Here's what I'll say. If it's been featured, I think triple D fantastic show. If I have spare time or I don't know what to watch, I'll put one on. I legit enjoy the show. And any place it's featured, I absolutely want to eat at. I have sought places out.

That is 100% I think of fantastic move. Always go check out wherever he goes because it's going to be good food. If it's his restaurant, which I've been to his one-in-time square that is now closed and famously had like the worst Critic review ever written look it up if you have a red time square, you know, I ate there and it was Terrible, but yeah, I laughed the whole time. I went with our friend Louis Saunders Had a great time laugh the whole time. The food was very bad. I think we kept saying, everything comes with donkey sauce, and I think Louis and I kept saying,

can you please give our donklements to the chef? And the waiter was like, I don't know what you're trying to say. It's still very funny. Give our donklements to the chef, but I would not go eat another one of his restaurants. Oh yeah, I would definitely, if he had been somewhere,

be more likely to want to eat there. Because first of all, I think that they have to do background checks to make sure all those places are up to like health codes in order to feature them on the show and to put the stuff. So they're like making sure that the places legit and clean before they even go.

So that's a good sign. And then also, it's probably not going to be like, crazy best food you've ever had, but it's gonna be like greasy and fun and bad food. So yeah, of course I'll go. I don't remember where I was. I was either in Minneapolis or in Madison,

but I was driving and I saw a restaurant with a big banner on the restaurant that said, as featured on diner's drive-ins and dives. And I didn't go to that restaurant because we were like on our way to something else. But when I saw that banner, I thought, oh, I definitely would go to that restaurant. So like just the fact that a restaurant proudly displays a that banner would 100% at least make me like more likely to walk into that restaurant. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I think smoke and Chicago is featured on there. And that's the best barbecue in Illinois. Well, I mean, there you go. I mean, obviously he's been around the country and he's featured a lot of restaurants. And when people tell you who they are, believe them, okay.

Off the chain. He's off the chain. He's off the chain. Well, I think that does it for us. Thank you for sending in your voice mails. You can always call us at the number, which I forget. I think it was mentioned in a theme song. 15 riddle one. Okay, that can possibly be it

That's it. That's the number. Ha ha la impu. I think it was um, no, no, no, no Let's go into some plugs Aaron Keith. Do you have anything to plug this week? I would say check out sitcom D&D. We The seasons rollin along. We're almost actually done recording the season, which is crazy. And it's so good. I mean, season one was great, but it feels like a great build upon from that. I'm loving it. So go check out succumb, D&D wherever you find podcasts. JPC, any reviews. Yeah, and if you want to get your review featured on the podcast, then just leave us a five-star review on Apple iTunes.

This one is from Living Or Score 4, Underscored Jesus. Love that name. Can't it good? Can't it neutral? Can't it evil? Each of the three hosts embodies one of the above alignments, but they can guess who is who. You'll get sucked into HRG are multiverse and listen to every podcast adjacent to the

host, but honestly, it's more content for your morning commute. Genuinely, love this podcast and want to buy all the t-shirts that were pitched, but never actually made to production. We have done a lot of that. 10 out of 10 would listen while cleaning my fridge. What do you guys think? Can't it good? Can't it neutral?

Can't it evil? Who do those apply to? Aaron Good, me neutral, you evil. What we got in one. How anything, anything that you would like to. Who do those apply to? Aaron Good, me neutral, you evil. What we got in one. How anything, I think that you would like to be. I just agree. I think there's two chaotic evils here

and then one neutral neutral. I'm neutral neutral and you're both chaotic evil, for sure. Thank you, thank you. Is it possible, can we all be chaotic and sane? Is that a new class? Yes. I would say that I am most likely. My spectrum is chaotic, chaotic.

I will just do both. I will be chaotic. Yeah. Yeah. Anything to pull out yet? Yes, I would say if you have not yet, and if you haven't really listened to me, don't just hear me, listen to me.

Wow. Subscribe to our Patreon. The Heyruda Rittle Patreon is our crowning jewel. If you can picture the shovel king and his crown, the biggest jewel in that crown is our Patreon. Check it out. We have a reoccurring series that I think people really enjoy. We have all kinds of one-offs. We have special guests. We have, I want to say, over probably 250 hours. If not more of content on there, we have monthly newsletters.

Please check out the Patreon. If you have not yet, I cannot recommend it enough. If you like what you're hearing now, you will double-ly like our Patreon. I also got to say that we just hit our next stretch goal. And so this month, we will be releasing a very fun episodes that we recorded, which is Camp Solve away, which is a two-part series from the month. The twisted, minted mind of Aaron Kefe. And so that is coming this month.

So definitely a fun month to join. So that's patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle, please check it out. And if you're already a subscriber, thank you so much for repatriationage, maybe tele-friend, tele-anime, tele-co-worker, ruin their fucking month. Who knows? Aaron, um, famously of the planets. We all know Venus is a sort of cat a good. Yeah. Good to get two shoes sucking up to all its neighbors. We know that Saturn is a little bit of a shoes we're clearly married, you know, with all the rings. I can hear you. Oh no, one's coming at me. Oh no, one's at my door.

Aaron, can you see my security camera? Can you see me, who's at the moon? There's a moon ball. There's a moon ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball ball Hey there, Corns and Cubs. If you liked that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. Some of it might be over, but we're still having a barbecue. You can listen to that plus our entire Bat catalog at patreon.com. Sasha E. Riddle Riddle by joining the Clue Crew for $5 a month or the Review Crew and you get those out for your episodes for $8 a month. See you there!

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