Hey Riddle Riddle - #218: Paul Ruddles

Episode Date: September 21, 2022

Today's ep has a game that everyone can play! If you want in on the Paul Ruddles, click this link! And if you don't, then don't! Either way, this ep has a little something for everyone including some classic cinema, HRR in a time machine, a 'walks into a bar' joke with no punchline, and an interview that goes awry! A little Wednesday magic for you and yours. Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle  6351 W Montrose Ave #267 Chicago, IL, 60634 Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531) Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. And the world is ready for you. Must keep your hate with the rich. What a hard day's work. Man, I can't believe the three of us bought a farm. Well, yee-ha, Wipe's brow. That was a hard day's work. Looks at day PC. Well, we would a hard day's work, hard to believe it's already 10, 30 in the morning.

And I think we're done for the day, right? Like we did a hard day's work and then we're all done. I think so, let's check the list. Let's check the list. Check the list. I don't do it. Well all ate so that's what that means okay yeah pet the horses I didn't do it I thought about doing it either I thought my brain about doing it does that count do I have to cows who who milked the cows milk the cows are you sure that's on there?

Yeah, right here. Here's the thing about the cows. They have kind of what I like to call a natural camouflage to them. So it's so hard to see them. You're right. Our grass out there is black and white. In a bad way. Yeah, because it's still black and eggs. Sounds like we didn't do anything in our list, but I feel like we should about call it a day. Well, let's check off what we did do.

I put a thistle in my mouth and sat under a tree, cross-legged, playing banjo. I rocked on a rocking chair inside. Pfft. And I started white worshiping offense and talking about how fun it was and a couple of neighborhood kids came by and kicked the shit out of me.

Pfft. Oh, JVC. I deserved it. For some of my political views. Oh, that's fair. Don't pull that thread. Any huddle? Top to rest up. Time to rest up and do some riddles by the fireplace.

Let's turn on the old sound box. Oh, yeah. What if that's what this show was? What if we started reframing it in our brains? It's like, whoa, isn't this show's kind of like dessert? Like we get to do riddles that's kind of like a treat for ourselves after our hard days work. Yeah, once we do a hard days work,

we all gather in the parlour. Oh, so you're, okay, we're gonna do the voice. I dropped the voice. I didn't know. I was, is that just, if it's your real voice Fail stuck yeah Between worlds Aaron what are you doing are you keeping the voice no? I it dropped for me?

I feel like you got stuck in opening segment voice. I think you might have it the whole episode at all Well Professionally we call this the Uncle Santa Conundrum. You can start going to care. Yeah, that's known as the podcast world as the Uncle Santa Conundrum. It's really hard to cure. Oh, it's gone.

It's gone. Oh, my God. It's gone. It's just you. You, you, you, you. Oh, it's back. Maybe a sleeper. Oh, it's back.

Maybe a sleeper. Oh, it's back. Oh, it's back. Maybe a sleeper. Oh, it's bad. I'm just leaving. Oh, it's bad. I'm just leaving. Oh, it's bad. I'm just leaving. Oh, it's bad. I'm just leaving. Oh, it's bad. I'm just leaving.

Oh, it's bad. Oh, it's bad. I'm just leaving. Oh, it's bad. Oh, it's bad. I'm just leaving. Oh, it's bad. Oh, it's bad.

Oh, it's bad. Oh, it's bad. Oh, it's bad. Oh, it's bad. Oh, it's bad. Oh, it's bad. Oh, it's bad. Oh, it's bad. I think that's interesting. I think that's interesting. I think that's pretty interesting. Yeah, it's like when I try a new dish, when I go to a restaurant and there's something on the menu, I've never had. And it's served to me. And I'm like, these flavors,

I don't know if I'd necessarily search them out, but I'm glad I tried something new. What if every episode's completely different this year? Wildly different. Like, you said this could not be more different than the last. We just suggested you do a Southern accent for a full episode, and that was too tall in order. I don't like that one. Yeah, I mean, different, but not me doing different.

Yeah, exactly. You guys do different. It's our first time recording an episode since we went to New York City and Washington, DC, to do those live shows. Oh, I think it is. First and foremost, well, I guess it's not first. This is like the fourth thing we've talked about.

We have to thank everyone who came out to New York City and Washington, DC. Those shows were so much fun. And the energy in the room was so great. Hey. I agree. I had, I mean, the people in the room was so great. I agree. I had, I mean, the people that I met were so nice and lovely. There is a sweet woman named Emily who made me cry and then after I started talking to her and we cried and then I cried later about it too.

So basically I'm saying is everyone made me cry. Okay. Well, if someone makes you cry three times and they're a sweet woman, I think I am owed an apology because I've been mislabeled several times on this show. I feel like when especially in New York, I will say when we took the stage in New York, it felt like we were the freaking Arctic monkeys. What a pull. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, wild. I felt like such a hot audience. That was the loudest reception we've ever received for a live show. Arctic Monkeys, that's a UK band, correct? So, oh, it's funny. It's fine. I think it's a great one. There we go.

But I had a great time and it was so nice meeting everybody and I appreciate everyone coming and hanging out. And the people who brought reddles too angels The people who brought riddles we also had people bring nice gifts Someone painted portraits of us which were incredible. We got a puzzle box with some prices inside Prices gifts inside what's the difference lots of people wearing merch? Merch ours

No just merch. Just wearing things they bought at shop. And Gonia, herment outfitters, someone was kind enough to buy me a beer mid show. Oh yeah, that was amazing. That was pretty cool. That was my money. Well, I mean, they were reimbursed.

Let's not get into the specifics of how it went down, but they didn't pay for the beer, really. Well, how dusty my computer is. Ooh, the duck that just came off is. Why don't it's so crazy? I think something is wrong with my apartment, because there's a layer of, like, grimy dust. I've built in, like, it's a very Chicago-y thing

to have built in, but I've built into my place, and I dust them like every other day, and every time I dust dust them it's like a layer of like black soot on it. And I go, I'm breathing that in, the dogs breathing that in. Am I okay? I don't want to alarm you, that is a, because I'm kind of an expert on the subject, that is a big red flag for a house being haunted. Oh, Aaron, I don't want to alarm you, but you're so poisoned to that. We're not even recording an episode of Herod over.

Oh, right now. You're hallucinating. I mean, Erin, it's probably pretty bad for your health, speaking of bad for your health, Adel, wanted to check in on you. I know that recently, Chicago got some heavy rain, and I checked in on my number one guy, as I was downstairs scooping water out of my

basement to be like hey how's the basement that I remembered I think you're out of town you might be out of town right now yeah it was pretty bad my basement slotted before nothing too extreme very manageable this was by far the worst I've ever gotten and lucky tell me please tell me did any of your junk or trash get ruined? I would be heartbroken if your junk or trash got ruined I was just about to say two years living into my house and for some reason everything I own is on the basement floor so Had some stuff get ruined

But I'm sorry. I am sorry to see you here to make fun of you, but I'm here for sympathy This is the curse of having so much shit And I will say from all the departments I've lived in Chicago. I feel like Four of them have flooded now. I have a house and it's flooded So I think five out of my yeah like eight abodes in Chicago have flooded and I've lost I want to say over those the years I've lived in Chicago, I've probably lost 40% of my shit. Hey, I gotta say, to water damage. A few more floods you might learn a lesson, huh?

Ha ha ha. I mean, I'm no homeowner, but what does one do when their basement floods? What's the checklist? Well, first build a boat. It's two of every animal. What you do is I think there's a ton of things, like as I Google it after it happened. I think there's a ton of things, because I Google it after it happened. I think there's a ton of things that you can do to prevent it in the first place.

But since I had none of those, a little hard, I was lucky in that I caught it as it was happening. Sorry for the graphic nature of this, but I was in my basement taking a, what I would say, a shit. Hounded smooth. That wasn't it. I heard my plumbing underneath me go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, and I was like, get off the toilet now.

And then I rushed outside and just saw like huge amounts of water pooling up. And so I took a bucket and was a clearing water outside in the pouring rain with a bucket so that the sewer system would have time to let it go down. And then me and Mariah and Mariah's mom who was staying with us took towels and just like tried to stop up as much water. And then I used a broom to try to push water into a drain. And luckily when the rain stopped, the flooding stopped. And we were like working, we were like working like an old timey fireman's bucket team just around the clock, trying to like,

try to get the flood under control. And luckily it was not so bad for us, but it was scary just to see like water seeping from, inside of the walls as the sewer overflowed. It's, that's terrible. It's so you can wipe your floors. No, well then you have to for like 48 hours afterwards. You just have to I looked little fans.

I just had fans going everywhere to try to keep the mold out. And luckily my basement is finished and it's finished with like tile for flooding. Like so it really is as simple as just like sweep the water into the drain. Yeah. I did see somewhere that it's I, this was like a pretty epic. Oh, it's bad. There was like water shooting 10 stories high out of sewer drake. It was insane.

And I wrote an article that was like, this is the worst flood that Chicago has had in two years. And I have two years. This seems like once in a generate, like this seems every 100 years bad. And I'm like, this sucks. This only as bad as two years ago. Well, it's also funny, is if you go into like the city of Chicago's website

and you're like, look at like, what about floods? They're like, hey, yeah, this is Chicago and your basement will get flooded. And we really wish you the best. Good luck with this. This is Chicago. Yeah, that's it. Aaron, did your basement get too much sun?

I don't know. I love that, love that. No, but last night, I'm, it's so hot in L.A. It's too hot. How hot is it? It's so hot in L.A. That people lived here a long time, say that it's scary, how hot it is.

But I did, I don't know if anyone... People in town says scary. I don't see, do you get the joke? I don't, it's not a joke. It's so, I'm not meant to. I'm not a comedian anymore. I don't know if it sounds as good. I don't see it, do you get the joke? I don't, it's not a joke. It's so, I'm not meant to. I'm not a comedian anymore, I don't know what to tell you. Oh, this is like a Bill Hicks story? Oh, God, I got it.

Why I love Bill Hicks. But I did a wet sketch. The smoking man could be the... He showed last night at the yard theater at 9 p.m. And I felt a little like, oh, like weird when I went physically. And I was like, but it's gonna be fine, I'm good. And then once I got on stage, I was like, but it's gonna be fine, I'm good. And then once I got on stage, I was like, uh-oh.

And it was so hot on stage, and I felt so nice. How hot was it? It was. It's still funny, it's still funny. I just, I'm isn't it, but it's funny. She keeps asking for that. Anyways, the room was spinning for me, and I felt like I was gonna throw up and I went,

oh my god, I'm actually about to throw up on stage at a wet bus show. Lots of Chicago comedy people. I know the Tim Lianz was there. Didn't get to say hi to him because afterwards I was laying on the green room floor with a water bottle on my head. But I got so sick on stage and I don't remember the last day. Oh, dude. Aaron, I'm sorry.

Aaron, God bless you with patience. Use that patience. But anyways, I was like, oh God, I don't remember any of the show. It certainly wasn't funny, the things I was saying or doing. After like once the show was over, I like grasped onto the lead mentor and I was like, I need how I need help, you need to help, I need help. But that's how hot it is. I would take rain over that feeling. I was like, I need help, I need help, I need help. But that's how hot it is. I would take rain over that feeling. I was dying, I almost died on stage.

I would love to interview someone who saw that show and ask about what you, like I can just see like, well, they'd be like, Beverly, it seems like the, it's time for sandwiches at the club and you're just going like Anyone doing Yeah, hi They were being so physical in the show because they were being funny and good comedians And I was like I actually think I'll die if you were at that show and you're a listener of this Can you message me and let me know what moment you realize that I was not okay? Because I'm interested to know I will say having performed quite a bit with you,

you also will, like we've done world news shows where you're phenomenal, you were brilliant and so funny. But, you get off stage, but, and then we get off stage and you're like, oh my god, I was so checked out. I did not get a single laugh and anything. And I'm like, oh my god, I was so checked out. I don't, I did not get a single like laugh and anything. And I'm like, Aaron, you crushed. So I think I, I trust you, but I think also that you're, your harshest critic. Sounds like you don't trust me. Is it, is it gaslighting if I'm trying to build you up? Yeah. It's just not good. It's

not, you're just not good at gaslighting. The gaslighting rock. I had a bad show. Aaron, you were wonderful. You're gaslighting me. You're gaslighting me. My little experience. I remember when I was younger,

I would do improv shows if I felt like shit and I would be like, oh man, I feel bad I'd still do a show. Eventually I got to the point where I was like, look, this is not that important. If I feel sick, I'm not gonna do the show, and then I will feel better tomorrow, instead of definitely getting sick for like four days

because I pushed myself. But I can remember doing a devil's daughter show, which is my old improv, Harold team at IO, doing a show, feeling like- You can see them at the annoyance. Sorry, they're still performing in their graves. They are still performing, yes. I remember doing a show, feeling like ass, but like doing really well in the show and then coming backstage and just my body

Shutting down my body was just like we gave you 25 minutes and that's all you are going to get and you use it on that I will say the the sickest I've ever one of the sickest times I've ever been in my life was world news tonight was doing a Residency in Des Moines for like a week Arnie knee camp in myself tonight was doing a residency in Des Moines for like a week. Arnie Neekamp and myself split a Sauerkraut pizza in Des Moines, Iowa. We go to do the show. We are sick as dogs. We can barely stand. We're both sweating profusely. We're both it's coming out of both ends like a fire hose. We the cast is only five people I think. So if we set out it's three people for like an hour and a half show. So we're like, we're gonna do it.

We're not gonna leave you all hanging. We do the show. We're both, I rarely use this term. I rarely like my improv. We were both incredible. The show was the best show of the whole residency. We get off stage, we both collapse to the floor. Mm-hmm.

It's truly wild that our bodies, like you said, JPC, the bodies are like, all right, I'll give you this length of leash and you do what you will with it. That natural process is for useful stuff, like lifting a car off a baby and stuff. And we choose to do it to do a fine improv show. That's how we use our like,

first episode of the show. My first SNL edition is the most sick I've ever been the worst case of flu. I had shit my pants in the hotel room an hour before I went. I did not have a bathroom. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, sugar free repal and then I went on stage and then I didn't get hired Sugar for them didn't get out again. We'd love to see that video of that six-sick lady Try here and why I was making comedy dreams. I will say not to give you false hope

But they did just announce four new cast members. Do you want to see if they're one of them? I don't think I am. Okay, we'll check. Okay, I guess you don't want him to help you there. Very weird. Hey, I got something for the show. Because we do the show, do you remember? I was just trying to like the show. Well, here's the thing.

I apologize to everyone for all the gross stuff that we mentioned, but it was actually as very necessary that we mentioned it, because we have to do whatever we want. But what we're going to do now is we're going to do something that nobody wants, which is a segment that I'm calling, I'm introducing this new segment to the show as a special type of segment. And we're going to see a lot of these in the future from JPC. They're called one and done segments.

I do the segment. Nobody likes it and we never have to do it again. I like it. See, I think you underestimate our audience a lot, JPC, because you did that what episodes of Bones have I seen, game, on the Patreon, and you had the same attitude about that. And I got to tell you, I think we've maybe gotten like 60 messages to people are like, bring back the ridiculous home game. People did like the bones game. Okay, so this segment is called Paul Ruttles. So I have some Paul Ruttles, which are Paul Rutt based Rittles,

they're not really for the two of you. And the way that this is gonna work is. I unfortunately already love this, so I'm not doing this segment again. I texted KC, I said KC is there in a way that I could share my screen. And KC said some bullshit, like I'm asleep, don't text me.

So instead what I've done is I have shared a Google doc in the chat. And if you are listening at home and you want to play along and you're saying, hey, JPC, you're about to describe a very visual game that I can't enjoy in the podcast wrong because you can click the link in the show description and you can play along if you so choose. But the two of you, you have a link in front of you and that link is going to have 10 different photos of Paul Rudd movies on it. Okay, so it's access denied, request sent. You'll get an email letting you know if your request was approved.

Yeah. Let's hold on. I got the same thing. Wow. Let's see. Owner, general access. Is this part of the game? Is this like an escape room?

We have to figure out how to get access in Google Doc. Okay. with the link can view try it again try it again. I'm good Actually gonna go to the mall instead We're gonna get our butts pierced so what we have is we have 10 different a Paul Rudd Movies screenshots of Paul Rudd movies and you have to tell me All-Rud movies, screenshots of Paul Rudd movies, and you have to tell me, you can't Google it, you can't look around, you have to tell me, what Paul Rudd movie this is from. And for all the people who aren't playing along at home

and using the lake, you also have to kind of describe what you see because I'm not gonna work for you. Okay, it's a visual, it's on a visual podcast, it's an audio medium, so you have to kind of describe it. All right, well, the first photo is of JPC doing a thumbs down at us and flipping us off at the same time and he's on a motorcycle. I should have done some nasty photos. I'm like, that's somebody getting eye-full powered.

These are all Polarod movies. It looks like some sort of party and Polarod is dressed like an astronaut and there's other people in different costumes and there seems to be like glitter falling from the ceiling. Yes, it's fun. And lots of movement, lots of joy. I think I know what this is from, but Adel, do you have a thought? Here's what I'll say. It seems like everyone is dressed in like Victorian garb,

except for Paul Rudd is dressed like an astronaut. So it seems like he, I don't know if he had like a weird walk on roll in like, boy, some sort of a sense and sensibility remake or something where he was an astronaut fell to Earth. If that's like a fun crossover. That could be fun. I would like to see that movie. I trust Paul Rudd with that.

I trust him with the concept. He looks, here's the thing. He looks, he looks, he looks young in this movie movie but that's a trick because he looks young in every movie yeah that's the thing with Paul Ruddles they're all gonna look young I've never seen the movie but something makes me want to say that this is like 400 cigarettes is that a movie? I know but it's close to the name of a movie that Paul Rudd was in oh it's very close I think he was in a movie called 200 cigarettes. Is this 200 cigarettes? No, it's not.

I have a thought. I think it might be the Baz Lerman Romeo and Juliet. Aaron, this is a screenshot from Romeo plus Juliet where I think Paul Rudd played like the Prince or something like this. So this is a- No, he played like Mercutio or something. No, he's not. Mercutio. I think he played what I said he played because I just looked it up.

Oh, okay. You're right. I'm sorry. Sorry. Sorry. This is from 1996. Okay. Here you are. Are you ready for your second, your second Paul Ruddle? Yeah. Okay. So what do you, what are you seeing this second Paul Ruddle? Okay. Aaron, I'll describe this one if you don't mind Yes, please Paul Rudd is behind the wheel of what looks to be some sort of farm vehicle

He could not look happier and sitting next to him shotgun is Tobin McGuire who could not look less interested in what's happening Paul Rudd has his sleeves rolled up. He has a nice look and watch and he has sort of an old-timey I would say like an old- timey golf cap or something. Yeah, yeah. Kind of a news, newsy cap, is that like a newsboy cap? Aaron, you would be better expert than I on that question. Yeah, it doesn't, it's not quite a newsboy cap, I'd call it like a Gatsby cap, like a before a person in Great Gatsby.

Yes, or like a 1910s baseball player cap. What is my biggest blind spots with is with hat knowledge because a lot of hats are called specific things And I know like snapback and that's it. I know pork pie and I want to say top hat Yeah, yeah and baseball caps. I want I think I know what this is Aaron. Do you know? You go for it. I believe this is a This is I believe a movie based on a book by one of my favorite authors. Wow Believe is this Cider House rules. You are absolutely correct. This is Cider House rules

Great. How did you pick these screenshots? What was your lot? I so I wanted to give you guys a chance like this one has I wanted to give you guys a chance. This one has either Tomer wire or Elijah Wood. It's got one of those guys in it. So I was like, if you just off all run, you might not be able to get the movie, but maybe with some context clues. Because I think the Sider House rolls is pretty obscure.

And to that point, I would like to see a brief scene. This is just going to be a scene from the movie Sider House rolls. Good luck to you. Hey, Darlene. Darlene. Ah yeah, huh? Darlene. Huh.

Do you see the Cider House rules? Wow. That does rule. Wait. Pours you a Cider. You're up way past your bedtime and you know what the house rules are Man stay up too late. Go on a date. Yeah Look will you be my date?

What you say are we close? Sorry, do you see your close? Can you point us in the right direction? Oh? I'm in a different fucking state of mind right now Are you in a new world? You're in a blast enough? Yeah. Man, I can't believe we're in Vermont. I think. You can see it looks at JPC.

New Hampshire of Vermont. It's either, well, John Irving tends to write about New Hampshire. So it's probably New Hampshire? I mean, Adil said he was his favorite booker, whatever. I've seen. I should know. All right. What are my favorite authors, John Ernie?

All right. I believe the book and the movie is about abortion. Yeah, goodby. This is your third Paul Ruddle. This is your third Paul Ruddle. I think this one, this one, I feel like, for Paul Rudd fans, should be a pretty gimme, a pretty easy one. Pretty gimme. Oh, yes. Ernie was pretty good before. Yeah, I mean, this is myd fans, should be a pretty gimme, a pretty easy one. Pretty gimme, oh yes.

Yeah, I mean, this is my, okay, yeah, I'll describe. This is peak Rudd. My favorite, for sure. Paul Rudd is wearing a jean jacket and crooksung glasses and his hair's a little long. And there's like wood paneling behind him. And this is from What Hot American Summer and it's my favorite role he's

ever done. Okay, that one, that one, it's a very good role. That one's pretty easy. So I'm going to give you a harder one. Go on to number four. This is your fourth part, Paul Ruddle. I think that this one is a little bit harder. I will say just to backtrack slightly to what Hot American Summer. I will say the first time I saw that I left harder than I have it in any movie. And especially when Paul Rudd takes that kid in the van And the kid goes where we going and he goes secret pizza party and then he shoves him out of the van. Yep Paul Rudd's great in that movie Very good him and Christopher Milano you stars When he knocks over the plate and she makes him pick it up and he's pissed is I think the best moment in any comedy

That's got to be number one for me if you haven't wet American summer and what we do in the shadows are the two best comedies of the last, I want to say 50 years. 50 years. I'll press it. I'll stand by that. I understand that. This next one, oh go ahead. Go ahead.

You just grab it, please. So here we have Paul Rudd and he's dressed in sort of 70s garb. He's arm and arm with one will Farrow. Will Farrow. And Mia Farrow's father. Farrow's father will Farrow towers over him They also have big shit eating grins Long-legged big cuff pants and this is gotta be I don't know if it's number one or number two Aaron I'm sure you know the movie as well. Yeah, so it's anchor man, but I think it might be two

Is it to wow? Okay, I think it might be two. Is it two? Wow, okay, I was trying to trip you guys up, but they both have little afrasons. So yes, this is Anchorman two. A movie that I have not technically seen, when I was pulling screenshots, I was like, I think I saw that and then I was like, wait, no, I didn't, like I definitely didn't see this.

Kim out in 2013, okay, we gotta move on to the next one. Do we have time for a scene? Yes, we do. I would love to see a seen from the two of you. And this is in the 70s. This is the two of you trying to put on the podcast. At the time it would be called Radio Play, Hey Riddle Riddle during the 70s.

Hey and welcome back to Hey Riddle Riddle. Hi, Marin Keef. Hm, far out. I'm JPC. Where am I? Well, I'm in one of my favorite places. Right in front of a microphone at a big recording studio in Hollywood, California. And we're bringing you the radio play Hey Riddle Riddle and in jpc you know what I love about our show

Weeds a dollar ninety-nine Yeah, and our hair's the exact same length and everything's exact same length have you been watching anything on TV lately? Oh, which one of the four channels are you talking about? Good point. I've been watching this new show called SNL disco Break We're gonna go let's play our disco track everybody and spin that record Well, I got up in the morning and I'm feeling all right hit the floor with my friends

And we keep in it tight dancing All day, all night, all afternoon dancing All day, all night, all afternoon Co-co-co-co, doing coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, coke, little disco break. And now for the news, we've lost Vietnam. See, that's a loss. That's a loss. This next photo is what I believe to be the back of Ben Stiller's head looking at a businessman, Paul Rudd. Really great eye, really great eye,

back of Ben Stiller's head. On the steps of the net It looks like a New York City with a little boy who's wearing a like private school uniform and Paul Rod has one of those hilarious 2000s earpiece phone things and a suitcase And I believe that this is not at the museum Wow 10 out of 10 Aaron you got back at bin his dealers head, you got the net, you got net at the museum. Congratulations.

That's from 2006. All right. Now, this next one, I think, is going to be a stumper. Next one, number six is going to be a stumper for you guys in your sixth Paul Ruddle of the day. Wow. Okay. I'll describe this one.

So this is a tight close-up. Could not be tighter. Could be. Now, Paul Rudd and a mysterious beautiful woman, they seem like they're about to kiss. Paul Rudd's eyes are closed, hers are looking down at his mouth. Her arms are wrapped around his neck. His shirt looks very modern. Her wardrobe looks a little older. Okay. I have no idea what this is from. He looks, this is the youngest he's looked,

I think, out of all the pictures. Now, now, you are unable to tell to determine the woman who is in this photo with Paul Rudd. Aaron, do you have a guess as to who this woman is? I think that this woman might be Jessica Alba. Okay. I will go ahead and say that you are correct in that this is Jessica Alba. And then I, I do not know the name of this

and I would actually thought it might be a TV show, but the only thing I know that he was ever in with her, and maybe I'm wrong, because this could be from the 90s, but is David Wayne, this is a David Wayne something? You're correct. I don't know the name of it.

I know that I think I know the movie. I know. I've never seen it, but I know of it. It's something I've wanted to watch for a long time. Is it the 10 Commandments? This is a movie called The 10 from 2007. It was not well received. It is one of my favorite movies.

I really, really enjoyed The 10. There are some jokes that don't age well. There are some jokes that I think are very, very funny in this way. But it's 10 shorts all based on the 10 Commandments. Is that right? Correct, yeah. It's got a stellar cast as well.

Highly recommend The 10. Okay, go on to the next one. Number seven of your Paul Ruddels. This is kind of a gimme Aaron. I think it is your turn to describe what you see here. Yes, so we see Paul Rudd, shocker. And he has dressed up sort of as like a parody John Lennon type from when they are in like India, that phase of the Beatles. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that.

I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that.

I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that.

I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that.d. Okay, here we go. I believe one, it's funny that this is called Paul Ruddles and he's playing John Lennon if you know the that reference. Two, I think his cohorts in this are Justin Long as George Harrison and Jack Black as it's a very funny scene. Yeah.

Okay, Adel, you are, I think you are up to describe this next one, but if my gut is correct, I think Aaron has a better chance of getting this one. Okay, this is Paul Rudd. This is a wide shot attempt sitting on a metal park bench, presumably in New York City. This looks like a New York City shot. He's sitting, looking concerned, sitting next to a very frazzled Reese Witherspoon, who is gesticulating like she is describing something really frustrating that just happened.

She seems to have a huge purse or backpack on her shoulder. Kinda looks like a black trash bag. Yeah, it looks like she got kicked out of her house, but she's like, like a laid bag. But she's like a 19 year old kid living in with five roommates. But she's dressed very nicely otherwise. Do you have a guess as to what this Paul Rudd

Reddle answer might be? It's gotta be a romcom, but this escapes my grasp. I do not believe I've seen this movie, Aaron. So if this is the movie I was thinking of, I, Sean watched a bunch of romcoms he hadn't seen, and I walked in and he was watching this, and I remember thinking that this was so terrible.

I don't, not 100% sure I know the name, is it home something? No, but that is a very good guess for Reese with it. Red, like no. Home. No, it is not that. Can we get the use? It's terrible, whatever this movie is, it's terrible.

2010. 2010, that's the worst. This is literally the worst year you could have said. I know. It's far enough back that I couldn't remember and it's recent enough that I couldn't remember. I seen that I saw this movie. I couldn't tell you a single thing that happens in it. There's just a 2010 movie. Adel. Oh, I was gonna say it does I a new clue I picked up in the back room. It does seem like there's point set is and Christmas lights. That'll get you there. That'll get you there. But there's no there's point setters and Christmas lights. Is that a Christmas movie? That'll get you there.

But there's no, there's no song on the ground. I truly don't know. This is to those kids, Paul Rudds, how do you know? How do you know? That's a happy road. It was terrible. Saw it probably around 2010

could not tell you what it's about. That can't be real. Okay, so the last two I think are gonna be, this one might be the hardest this the ninth Paul Rattle of the show may be the hardest to to determine. So this is Paul Rodriguez. Okay, looking like he's in like an alpatino movie. He is like an orange button downshirt with gold chains and a gun and he's at some sort of like yacht club boat place. And his hair is brushed forward over his forehead and he set some sort of like yacht club boat place and his hair is brushed forward over his forehead and he has a white jacket on. I don't know what this is from. This

is not even ringing any bells. It's truly a one for one for Al Pacino and Scarface. Yes. Seemingly in Miami, which is where I believe Scarface takes place. Is this, I want to say that this is another... Oh. This is either the Adam's. The Adam Scott, John Ham thing they did on like adult swim, or this is David Wayne made another comedy that was like really goofy, where Mike Shannon played like a ex-husband or something, I'm talking about. I do know what you're talking about.

It's not going to help you hear it. Adam. You were very close when you guessed the location of this. or something, I'm talking about. I do know what you're talking about. It's not gonna help you hear it at all. Okay. You were very close when you guessed the location of this. Oh, it's Miami Vice. Did they make that into like a movie? They remade it, well, it was a TV show. They remade it with Jamie Foxx and someone else.

These are all gonna be movies. I did not pick any Paul Ra TV shows. Okay, well Miami Vice was a movie. But in Miami isn't the title. Miami 2007 this movie came out. Since 2007, once upon a time in Miami. Saw it in the theaters had a great time. Miami's in the time.

I have no idea. Also, also, also, this movie was based off a TV show. Oh boy, and it's not Miami Vice. And it's not Miami Vice. And it's not Miami Vice. Did the TV show have Miami in the name? No, but the movie title does. Miami Miami. Miami.

Miami. Miami. Miami. Yeah. This is, this is a, this is a, a very much a Pachito drug kingpin in the movie Reno 911 Miami. Oh, I haven't seen the movie, but I love the TV show.

The Renoir 1 Miami has a great walk on gag where the rock, I think it's the rock, is like whipping them all into shape and he's like, you know, coming into like make them a proper police force. And at one point he drops a grenade. The rock and his like cameo appearance. And then he like follows the grenade into a room.

Like he keeps kicking it into a room and the room just blows up. But in case you do it, very funny cameo. That's good. Okay. Here we go. This is our last Paul Roodle of the day and probably forever. This segment. This is this is number 10. This one is a movie that I don't even think I've seen. So I think was Aaron is it your is it? No, it's Adel. Adel, can you please describe? Okay. This is the weirdest we've seen Paul Rudd look. He's dressed like Adolfi. It's kinda, yeah.

He has long sort of hippy-ish, basically he looks exactly like Eddie Vedder. If he's squint, you'd be like that's for sure Eddie Vedder. He has like a hiking backpack on with a big old metal bar. It's very high in his back like a hiking bag would be. He's giving a sideways thumbs up almost as if he's rating this segment. Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

It's more up than down though, so I will accept that. It looks like he's about to give a thumbs up to try and catch a ride with a hitchhike. Okay. I want to say behind him is probably Portland or Seattle. Yeah, it's a cafe, so. Yeah, it's probably somewhere in the Northwest. Specifically, I have no idea. Aaron.

I have a guess, but I feel like this is very foggy to me. Is it our idiot brother? Aaron, you have nailed it. You have won. One Paul Ruddles. I've never seen that. That is 2011's our idiot brother. I've never seen that. That is 2011's our idiot brother. I haven't seen it either. There, honestly Paul Rudd works a lot. And there's

a lot of Paul Rudd movies that they simply have not seen. So he was both in our idiot brother and dinner for schmucks. Isn't that fucked up that he gets cast so much of these movies? He wasn't so charming. He's so charming. Yeah. He wasn't really much. True. He was so charming. Yeah, he wasn't the smart one. Okay, well that is Paul Ruddles. Thank you all for playing and thank you all for playing along at home.

Remember this, if you wanna see the photos, you can just click that link in the episode description and then it'll say, access that I, you have to request access, then you build a show and I'll be like, I don't know what to do. I already, I think it's good, I think it's live. I don't know how to request access. Then you build the show and I'll be like, I don't know what to do. I already, I think it's good. I think it's live.

I don't know how to fix that. But you know what, Walth, we'll figure it out after a little break. What you're a brick to brick, you'll be a brick to brick. Hey, JPC, you know how I love, he looks asleep. I love that he looks mattress brand,

best nights sleep of my life. I know not everyone is on board yet, so I secured award-winning sleeper, Merrill Sleep. She's right behind that door, Merrill Sleep. Wow, she won the Golden Pillow for best sleep. That's right. Hey, Merrill. Hello, yes, hello, yes, I'm very well rested after sleeping on my midnight lux, Helix mattress. Good to see you, good to see you. Your naps are stunning. I just wanted you to tell people about Helix sleep

how the Helix lineup offers 20 unique mattresses, including the award-winning lux collection. The newly released Helix Elite Collection, a mattress designed for big and tall sleepers, even a mattress made just for kids. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah, and Helix knows there's no better way to test out a new mattress than by sleeping on it in your own home. That's why they offer a 100-night trial in a 10-to-15-year warranty to try out the new

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Merrill sleep Yeah choosing the right mattress is a real Sophie's decision But don't just take our word for it or Merrill sleeps word for it He looks has been awarded the number one mattress picked by GQ and Wired magazine. It was even recommended by multiple leading chiropractors and doctors of sleep medicine Shh. I don't think I thought you were the person that she's doing. What a what a performance. Helix mattresses all come with a 10 to 15 year warranty, depending on the model.

Stunning. Yeah, look, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to helix sleep.com slash riddle. This is their best offer yet and it will not last long with helix better sleep starts now. Go ahead and give her the Academy of Snor, the Snor. Academy of Snor.

Give me an Academy of Snor. Glint close to falling asleep. That's why I got you. Oh, yeah. I got that a lot. Hey, Adel, hey, Aaron, I got a bone to pick with the two of you. Oh. Sure, yeah, I wore the skeleton outfit just because I figured this was coming. Happy Halloween a few months early.

It's not yet the... What is it? So you know how the two of you, I was like, guys, I am always so hungry for lunches and dinners and the like and you jokers told me oh JPC it's okay all you have to do is take um some you know American paper currency tape it to your front door close the door and then wait until someone brings you food while I kept opening the door and the money was gone so I had to tape more money to my door I think think you're thinking, you're gonna work out all. Oh, Dorkhash.

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whether that be back to school supplies or whatever it is that you eat. JPC, which I don't know, what you, whether that be back to school supplies or whatever it is that you eat. JPC, which I don't know, what you eat. I eat back to school supplies. But what? JPC, all your favorite retail, grocery, and convenience stores are on the app, so you can chop everything, your kids, your dogs,

your family, might need for back to school. And hey, personally, just yesterday, I bought some marshes homemade premium quality buck eyes you know those candies that are chocolate stuff with peanut butter I just got those from door dash and they were they were on my porch within 20 minutes and it's very very dangerous because they're delicious. Did you fill your belly and your pantry? Uh yes. Did you fill your backpack? I did. Okay well then doorash has come again for the gold. I remember distinctively the stress of going back to school and going from store to store

to get all my favorite snacks and pencils and pencil cases and all the things that I needed me and my siblings and I remember how stressed my mom was and I know that she would have loved to have DoorDash. So she could be prepared before the big back to school day arrived. So you can stock up with go-to breakfast, lunchbox staples, and brands that you love. Don't eat my school supplies JPC. So you can see, but that eraser down.

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next order, Terms Apply. At all, JPC keeps eating my gel pens. Thanks, Dorakash. I mean, no, that's the one. That one didn't work. That one's bad. Hey, JPC. Uh, yeah.

You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Addle. And I'm setting up a website to prank him. Um, can I just need some advice? This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Addle.

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Come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC, and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time in money. What is happening?

Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from.

That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my Prank website, the Prank site too. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for.

The website was for. Prank. With Squarespace. With Squarespace. With Squarespace. You can connect to your store to Venet third party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, battle?

I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back. She's back. Hey, Aaron, can we go to grandma's house? to our final segment of the show. I believe, JP, you correct me if I'm wrong. Okay.

20 minutes of plugs. People would be so. Number one. It'll be so. This is sort of like our pop culture happy hour what's making us happy, segment. We just plug for 20 minutes. I think that's fine.

It's going a long way to get a gust of like the show. No, I would, I think I would be, um, I'd be absolutely torn apart of the message boards. If I didn't include at least a couple of riddles in today's episode, even though the segment, Paul Ruttles, I was technically like 10 riddles. So yeah, I would say I really enjoyed that segment. I was just saying during break, it's cool to have a visual component for once because we don't have, we have that. So that was here in the studio, quote unquote, it was very delightful.

I enjoyed that very much. So don't worry about what other people think. I loved it. And if you have any pictures of Paul Rudd that you want us to use in the future version of Paul Rudd, let's go ahead and email them to hrrpodcast.gmail.com. Just photos of Paul Rudd, please do not include

any additional context. Additional context will be ignored. I wonder how many people are going to send us just photos of Paul Rudd. Probably shouldn't have said that. Probably get those forever. We should have a spin off show called Rudcast where we just describe all those photos sent.

No context, we just describe photos of Paul Rudd in as much detail as possible. I don't know, yeah, I guess if people are interested in that, they're just working for it. He's wearing sort of azure blue socks that run up his thigh like a bowel constrictor tightening around his limbs. I do have a riddle here and this one was submitted by JoR. And JoR has been listening since episode three loves the podcast all this until I die. I guess we'll see because that was that rid kid that email came in a couple years ago And so either Joe are made it through and they're still alive or they are a liar and they stopped listening so But here's the riddle I Sale across two rows of teeth. I connect two seas that never see

Sorry that never see. Zipper. Okay, actually after this. Sorry. Would you say that? Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I said it. Aaron and Adel both talked at the same time and Adel was saying something

and Aaron said the exact answer to the wrong. Oh, but that was like stalling. Yes, Aaron, please. JPC your zipper, add all your button and you guys are at a bar talking. I mean just non-stop. It just feels like class, unclass, class, unclass. It's just, it's exhausting, you know? How's, how's it been for you? Ups and downs. Literally. It's fine. I mean it's fine.

Here, God. My whole thing. Mm-hmm. Is I don't understand why I can't just be left down? Why I have to be put back up, okay? Well, yes, and I've seen you left down. It doesn't look bad and then people say XYZ and then you go back up again. And then I go back up again, but honestly if you're doing it right nobody can see anything. You know exactly. Yeah

Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No, it's gentlemen another round Yeah, my treat whatever you want zipper. I'm sorry. I don't do anything round Can I get a line? Yeah, you can put first. Put the line of cocaine down on the bar. A round for my friend and a line for me. Ha ha. Ah, yeah. Must be new. The bartender must be new. Because... What's your name, sweetie?

Hmm? Me? Yeah. Oh, I'm a classed. Oh, wow. You... Oh, I'm sorry I'm taking a back. I just don't typically see you type around here. Yeah, hi. Oh Look, we are we apologize in advance because again, yeah, I gotta be honest You are the first class by a met in my adult life, so I just yeah cuz I'm usually used for baby clothes

Are you for baby clothes for little onesies at the bottom to class? Are baby clothes for little onesies at the bottom to class? Uh, I'm scotch bagage. That must be fun. Yeah, I mean, it's a baby's are cute. We love babies. We love eyes. I barely ever get to be around babies because obviously. But I'm going to get belt buckle to throw you out of here.

If you give me any more. Please don't, please don't. I'm not. I'm not. I heard that our calls in a little bit of trouble around here and might need to get thrown the fuck out of my bar Bell buckle hey, we were just hey no We were just how much you lift us up and we are so happy that you started hiring class Surround here like that's that's so fun for the bar. It is great to see. So on your way.

Throw them out. All right. No, no, no. Class says you got to go, and that means you got to go. Get on up off of your bar, stools, and get the hell out of my bar. OK, let me just soak my pants filled out. Oh, my pants filled out.

Well, my pants filled out. Oh, my pants filled out. Oh, my pants filled out. My pants fell down. My pants fell down. My pants fell down. My pants fell down. My pants fell down. My pants fell down. My pants fell down. My pants fell down. Y'all can stay. See. Okay, now I, I, please someone, I need that to be my alarm clock in the morning is just

as you can see on repeat going, oh, my pants fell down. My pants fell down. My pants fell down. Casey's back on the sound board on the ones and twos. A bad smell dog. Oh, a bad smell dog. A bad smell dog. Kasey, Kla- Ha-ha! Oh, Kasey's back on the sound board on the ones and twos. I guess he got his door dash. Kasey, can we get a little door dash update? How are we doing?

What are we in Kasey? Door dash update, right in the chat. Kasey, now. Korean corn dog cheese things. Absolute panic, absolute panic move. Korean corn dog cheese thing Jesus Christ Either it's a corn dog or it's a cheese thing I could go the rest of my life without hearing something As I said he goes Korean corn dog cheese things, but here we are

Guess I get what I asked for mommy horny. Okay. That's fair. I'm so glad that that exists and we use that one now That would spare that would spare to be used against me I'm so glad that that exists and we use that one now. That would spare. That would spare to be against me. We have some more riddles from the farmer's almanac. This one is coming at you from the year of our Lord, my brother in Christ, 1861. Are you ready for this? Yes.

My number, definite and known, is 10 times 10, told 10 times or, though half of me is one alone and half exceeds all counts and score. So Aaron, we have to keep in mind, we have to keep in mind this is before math was invented. So is the answer to this? This could be like soybeans, This could be like constellation. Well, it's either soybeans or a number. It's one of the two. Is it two?

What is this? Is it the number two? Wait a minute. What is this? Is it a hundred? Is it 50? Is it a quarter? Is it a dollar?

Is it dirt? Is it rain? Aaron, they didn't have to rub back then. It was called sod. JBC, can you read the riddle one more time? Yeah, dude, I would love to read you this riddle one more time. The riddle one more time is my number, definite and known, is 10 times 10,

told 10 times or, though half of me is one alone, and half exceeds all count and score. Okay. Um, I don't fucking know and I don't, I'm enjoying the show. I hate this riddle. I have to say any riddle that's math, any sort of logic puzzle. Yeah. I'm out. I was at this, I think that this riddle is just kind of math and it's just, and it is

a number. So if that helps you, again, then yeah. Yeah. Okay. So this time, just try to think of the number that you. Maybe you did again then, yeah. Yeah, okay, so this time, just try to think of the number that you're trying to get from this, okay? Well, I would say it says half of me is one, so the answer should be two, unless it's 11.

My number, definite and note, okay? So we definitely know this is a number. It's 10 times 10, told 10 times or, the half of me is one alone, and half exceeds all counts and score. So maybe it is like a thousand and one alone means it's all zeros because 10 times 10 times 10 would be a thousand right? Yeah, yeah. Okay, I mean, this is 1861 guys, they weren't getting too fancy.

They didn't have calculators on their day, am I phones? Candy was hard candy. Yeah, candy was hard phones Candy was hard candy. Yeah, I'll candy was hard tech so they were bored enough to write shit like this Yeah, they didn't 61 I think they only have four channels Yeah, that's crazy Carson was I think it was Carson at the time. Yeah, it's gotta be pre-ellen Yeah, pre-level can so get you pregnant boom little kids so get you pregnant. Boom! Shut up! I'm gonna have a good day.

I have a good day. Jay! Uh, okay. What, what, what are we? What, what are we? Why don't we do this? Why don't we do one more of these, uh, farmers, all maniac riddles?

I think these are real fun. Fine. Soon. I think you heard that. I don't know. I don't know. Soon as I'm made, I'm sought with care for one whole year consulted. That time elapsed, I'm sought with care for one whole year consulted.

That time elapsed, I'm thrown aside, neglected, and insulted. And this is from 1946. Ooh, you're a Macallan, the girl. Can you read it again? Is this Marie Calenders? It's Marie Calenders. It's 1946. We're all hot to try it because we just showed those Germans what for.

Soon as I made, I'm sought with care for one whole year consulted. That time elapsed, I'm thrown aside, neglected and insulted. Is it a calendar? Yeah, it is what Adel said. I know, but I needed to get there on my own. I was just a calendar or a former former. I would accept. I would accept both of our calendar or a former Omanau. I would accept. I would accept both of them. I would accept both of them.

I would accept both of them. I got confused because the first time you read it, my brain was just thinking about food. I was like, what's something that's a food that lasts a year? And then I wanted to hear it again and I have no idea where I got food from. Okay. Well, I want to see a quick scene. Here we go. Adel and Aaron, you are, Adel, you are your farmer

character from earlier, so you get to revisit that. Yes. And Aaron, you are creating a farmer's almanac, so you're going around interviewing farmers to see if they have any interesting information they can put in this year's Farmers Almanac. Well, I appreciate you swinging by the farm that couldn't have been an easy drive,

but I do not have a knack for almonds. Well, let's unpack particular torches. I'm sorry that we get that a lot. This is not anything to do with almonds the nut. We're actually just looking to see if you have any knowledge. We're looking to learn from you. What do you know? Anything that you've discovered seeing learned while working out here? Sure Let's see I noticed that cows tend to blend in with the grass if it turns white and black I can tell when a tornado is coming due to my knee swelling up and also the funnel and the clouds Hmm, I can tell you hey you know a real piece of information

Yeah I can tell you, hey, you want to know a real piece of information? Yeah. Two farms over. Sitting on 28 of the primus choices juiciest acres you've ever seen. As farmer Williams. And he got that farm through murder. Put that in your book. Write it down. I just spoke to him this morning.

Are you telling me that he's at your window? Hey friend, why don't you come in and join us? Just to be clear, I am being invited inside of the house. He's a vampire. Come on, vampire. Man, blow up my whole spot. He only farms at night and the crop that he reaps is blood. And this is, can I just say, this is some bullshit.

Because two weeks ago when you needed a cup of sugar, I was happy to provide a cup of sugar. And my one stipulation was, you caught me in a very embarrassing moment for me when I was dreaming the blood from a local town's folk. I said, I said, if anyone asks, don't say the vampire thing, man, the first person that come up here trying to do a farm or talk, you know, now I got a kill off both of you. You know why? You know why? You know why?

You said you stay. You stay. You stay. You know why? You're not blowing up your spot. Why? I was insulted. You did not hypnotize me. Now I've seen I've watched you from afar. I have binoculars. I've insulted you did not hypnotize me. Now I've seen, I've watched you from afar. I have binoculars. I've seen you hypnotize all types of travelers who cars broke down in your front lawn and you hypnotize them. You didn't even bother hypnotizing. No watch, no arms in front of you, nothing.

Just get rid of these papers. No, just to hang up, hang up. No, I want to witness for this. I want to witness for this. I told you that I could only hypnotize hypnotizing I know how to do is for sex and I and I said I respect you as a competitor and a farmer too much to fuck you So that's that's why I wanted to keep it just for us and I told you She's just oh did she just sound like crazy frog

Oh, did she just sound like crazy frog? Crazy frog going to sleep RIP crazy frog hey speaking of crazy frogs. Why don't we do a fucking voicemail? Yay yum I It's a bit too much. It's a bit too much. It's a bit too much. It's a bit too much. It's a bit too much. It's a bit too much. It's a bit too much. It's a bit too much. It's a bit too much. It's a bit too much.

It's a bit too much. It's a bit too much. It's a bit too much. It's a bit too much. It's a bit too much. It's a bit too much. It's a bit too much. It's a bit too much.

It's a bit too much. It's a bit too much. It's a bit too much. It's a bit too much. It's a bit too much. It's a bit too much. It's a bit too much. It's a bit too much. It's a bit too much. It's a bit too much. It's a bit too much. It's a bit too much. The concert that's just that song 20 times. Yeah, I think that we all would because we're absolute narcissists. Yeah, we totally would.

We absolutely would. My name's in that song. Big thanks again to Birdie for submitting that theme song. Remember, if you want to do a voicemail theme song, just email us at hrpodcastegemail.com. Here's what you don't do. Do not call the voicemail line. And do you hear how good that sounded?

Don't like talk a voicemail theme to us because that can't play that on the show. It's unlistenable. Well, I didn't know that before I did it. Amazing. And Casey, do we have any voicemail for today? Hi guys, my name is Michael Sualetti. I'm a huge fan of the show.

Naturally, it'd be kind of crazy if I wasn't. I've been listening to the podcast that fly lately while going for walks at night around my town outside of Austin to keep a new tattoo out of the sun. And this makes my mother very nervous because she hears that Austin is dangerous these days and thinks I'm going to get mudd. So to put her mind at ease, I was hoping you guys could recommend me some ways to defend myself from attackers so I could tell her that I would do them and then she would feel better. Thanks so much. Hope you're all having a great day. Oh, this is a good question.

This is a good question. I have two recommendations if you don't mind if I go first. No, please. Lay it on Michael. Let's see it. Uh, number one is if someone starts to mug you or attack you, you just, if you're in Austin, uh, you just yell, ooh look, breakfast tacos.

Famously, torches, truck, I believe has delicious megas, tacos. That'll turn somebody. Breakfast tacos in Austin are just fantastic. So just yell, taco truck, or breakfast tacos, or torches, and they will turn around drooling and you can make your getaway. Number two, I hate to say this.

I think you're safe. I believe as of now, Griffin McElroy has moved out of Austin, Texas. I believe he's presiding in the Washington, DC area, perhaps. Oh, bad news for the people in the Washington, DC. And we all know Griffin McElroy, just a nasty little bugger, just a real a real criminal um so I think you're safe well here's the thing I know one way you could do it is you go oh my gosh you know what can I recommend something to you you should listen to this podcast that I'm listening to

it's technically a riddle podcast but it's three comedians who do riddles and improv comedy and then they go imp they hear the improv and then they take off running in the opposite direction. I defy any mugger out there to get more than four Paul Ruddles into an episode of Hey Riddle Riddle without the love. In my advice, if you are looking for something to do to defend yourself against a mugger, is stop talking, Chair Mom. Simply do not talk to her about that.

Don't tell her you're going for walks at night. If you want to do dangerous shit, just don't tell her that. Just say, would mom call us? Say, mom, everything's going good. Work gave me another pad on the head. And everyone likes me there. Keep it weird. If I were a mom, I'd be like, work gave you a pad on the head.

I'm coming to pick you up. Mom, drop the outfit work. I don pat on the head. I'm coming to pick you up I don't want the other employees to see you I think you for calling to the show you have a voicemail question you want to ask us 1 805 riddle one is the number and Now that brings us to my favorite segment of the show that is a segment that we like to call plugs at all Is there anything that you would like people to know about? Yes, there is. Thank you so much.

I would like to plug, and I believe I've done this before, if not forgive me. I would like to plug Aaron's plugs. Whatever Aaron says, I believe is just super important. Nice. I just want to really, really vehemently sort of impress upon you that Aaron's plugs today are super important. Aaron, anything to plug? Oh, damn. I would like to plug? Oh, damn.

I would like to plug pranking Adel. Um, thanks. Thanks for timing socks. I'm so sorry, Adel. I didn't know you were going to do it today. Thank you, Lloyd. Fuck myself. Yes, that you see him in public.

Mess with him. Get his order wrong if you take his work out of the restaurant. Been happening. Adel, I'm sorry. I would like to plug. So I'm a part of a show that is happening in LA now that is every Wednesday at 7 p.m. at the yard theater.

Next time there, I won't faint on stage. It'll be good and normal. I hope. It's called Chalax Comedy, Chi, CHI, and then LAX. And it's every week, it's hosted by a different Chicago comedy team. And it's going to be like 80% Chicago comedians in the shows. It's everyone's it, and it's going to be so good. And I'm going to probably be there every week, whether or not I'm in it or not.

But Webbus is in charge of the second week every month. If you wanted to see specifically Webbus, if not, if you want to to just come hang out get a drink with me Wednesdays at the art theater. Oh, very cool and one thing that I will plug on Aaron's behalf is Aaron wrote a very fun Patreon show called Camp Solve Away. It's a two episode so it'll be out for two weeks Patreon stretch goal that we hit last month. So it is going to be on the Patreon. I believe this Friday and next Friday. So patreon.com says, Hey, Riddle, Riddle, $5 a month gets you access to camp solve away. And it is very good. It's, it's perfect timing to get your bones all chilled and anticipation for Halloween.

Mm-hmm. And of course, I am seating my plug time to read a five star review from iTunes. If you want to get yours right on the show, just go to Apple iTunes and submit a five star review. This one is from Blackstar66, and a bit of a personal note from JPC. Fuck you, Blackstar66. Here we go. Listen! Perfect people proposing perplexing puzzles, playing pretend and puns, practically pouring profusely, profoundly preposterous premise for a podcast.

P-P-Poo-Poo-Poo-Potty Pads Party. Wow, got it. I have a bad habit. Perfantly preposterous premise for a podcast PPP Pupu Pottie Pads party Wow You tried to fuck me you tried to fuck me, but I found a way to get it in one So take that black star 66 and if again, you can always submit one of those and make me read it on the show That was a blast more of those more stuff like that more That's a fuck JPC Aaron I know that you are a second Wednesday of the month, of the month, over at the Yard Theater,

but you were actually telling me the first Wednesday of the month, they have another pretty cool show that you wanted to give a shout out to. It's called Jupiter, bye. Addle, do you have anything to add? You did do Bye forever. Do you have to,

anything that you would like to say for the class? Oh, Aaron said bye. You're gonna say bye forever though. Jupiter, bye, bye forever. Do you realize how silly that sounds? Hey, nobody wants to be here, man. You can do whatever you like. Stop fighting!

Stop fighting! Tony, hey! Now are you parents and the people that are here? Vocal created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Naboorans. Now I already parent in the middle of the video. I'm gonna be the one who will be the winner. I'm gonna be the winner. I'm gonna be the winner. I'm gonna be the winner. I'm gonna be the winner. I'm gonna be the winner.

I'm gonna be the winner. I'm gonna be the winner. I'm gonna be the winner. I'm gonna be the winner. I'm gonna be the winner. I'm gonna be the winner. I'm gonna be the winner. I'm gonna be the winner.

I'm gonna be the winner. I'm gonna be the winner. I'm gonna be the winner. I'm gonna be the winner. I'm gonna be the winner. I'm gonna be the winner. I'm gonna be the winner. I'm gonna be the winner. I'm gonna be the winner. I'm gonna be the winner. I'm gonna be the winner. I'm gonna be the winner. this week's Patreon. We hit our next Patreon stretch goal, so we bring you part one of the

Horror Mystery series, Camp Solve Away. You can listen to that plus our entire Batcadilog at patreon.com, so I'll shave rid of riddle, but joining the clue crew for $5 a month or the review crew, and you get those ad free episodes for $8 a month. See you there! That was a headgun podcast.