Hey Riddle Riddle - #22: Sleigh Riddle Riddle

Episode Date: December 19, 2018

It’s the holiday season and the Clue Crew is ready to get FESTIVE! We get a glimpse into Santa’s home life, what an elf religion might be like, and a lost plot line from Love, Actually. We also got you a gift - some Christmas riddles and holiday movie and song quizzes! You’re welcome! JPC has the personality of the Grinch! Adal is Scrooge! Erin is Rudolph! So settle in, enjoy the show, and listen for Santa creeping down the stairs!Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: KJ SnyderTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgun podcast. Who likes exciting things? I do. Baha man. Who likes exciting things? Baha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha Everyone keeps saying that we're the three of us are collectively having a baby and that's coming in the summer I keep telling you it. You're very Very proud. You keep eating pickles because you're very afraid you are

We'll see you are having this baby your water broke All right, well your guest is Guzmine fella and your baby's name Patreon We're doing a new Patreon starting in January and for just $5 a month you get everything We're gonna release weekly up you get everything you get our baby names you get our souls you get our exclusive baby days You get to come to our parties just for quick. What is everybody's baby name? My name my baby name was that'll yeah, it was my son Interesting, I thought that would be better

Well yours is a lie because that's not your own name But for five dollars that gets you everything we're gonna be releasing a New content weekly so we're basically doubling our content so for five dollars You can listen to twice as much of us per week Wouldn't you love that so check us out in January check out our patreon? We're gonna have game shows. We're gonna have road trip type games We're gonna have exclusive our Patreon. We're going to have game shows, we're going to have road trip type games, we're going to have exclusive live content, we're going to have one off specials, we're going to have live streams, we're going to have all kinds of stuff just for you all five dollars a month. And you might see some special guests,

some people that you might know a certain ready kitty might stop by now. We didn't get the right. Okay, so sorry, you might see a little certain person named kid. No, we could get the right kid. And our little, not new doggy, their dumb father. Okay, what about JP Redholz? No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and the hardest, you've heard me laugh really hard at JPC. What was the hardest time I left? Oh, when you said, Twinkle on my Dad's penis, former Rhea CVS, I laugh even harder

at some of the nonsense that happens. I can't believe we didn't get the rights to some of the stuff because we sold KJ the rights to that stuff. KJ was like, we don't want you to have it. I'm gonna use this for good. I think KJ started that, to Kiel Company and their billionaire now. So it's, yeah. I'm happy for letters. I'm happy for letters. I'm curious are that to Keel Company and their billionaire now, so it's.

I'm happy for letters. I'm happy for letters. I'm also happy for the letters that they sent to us that say we want the show to fail. And we're breaking you down and everyone here's a monster and I'm of in Helsing. But this 12 minute ad has been for Patreon. It's not an ad.

We don't do it. It's not that at all. We're not getting paid for this. Oh no. Do we pay ourselves letters? Is charging us for this? Mother fuck. So find us on Patreon starting in January give us five dollars a month and join the clue crew crew I got a clue clock one flew over the clue crew desk You're rotating I'm a blooper, a blooper, a blooper, a blooper. I'm irritating. The doctor was the mother.

He stood on a block of ice. Both the physical fish. It was the cabin of an airplane. He sat in with the dogs and crows. And the Lord was ready. Hey, you hear that? You hear that creeping down the stairs? That's... Hey, you're real... Well, I guess Santa doesn't creep down the stairs. Wait. Famously, no, he doesn't.

What do you have some sort of upstairs fireplace? Is he coming from the ad? Lizard, in my household, Santa would come in through the front door. Okay. Go up the stairs. Check on the kids. But kids are asleep. We're golden.

We're good. He does then. He opens the upstairs window. Calls out the window. Scales up onto the roof. Clatter. A lot of clutter. Then he goes down the chimney. Ha-ha, window scales up onto the roof. Mm-hmm. Clatter a lot of clutter Then he goes on the chimney. Ha ha surprise fat man in the house

Now if you check on the kids and they are awake What happens then is a brutal active violence? Okay? Here's the thing. I don't think Santa Should be near the bedrooms at all. No, I think you should come in He's actually been warned the bedrooms are up. Let me see. Santa famously has. Well, there's a tree in there. I don't care. I don't care if there's a tree in there. Santa famously has everyone's keys.

Santa famously has any house in the world, even if you live in a tent. Santa has keys to that. Do you think Santa's a janitor with one of those jiggly belts of keys? That's what we did in my house. Because we didn't have a chimney. We didn't have a fireplace.

So my parents were like, well, leave this key so Santa can get in. All right, if this is a contest for who was more poor, there's no way you're going to win Boston. Okay, we would hear Santa or see his footprints in a dirt because indoors we had no floor. So just there no floor indoor Santa has keys for that. Hey, welcome everyone. It's sleigh riddle riddle. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Cohen. He's not. And I'm Adel Ruh. What's the berry you kiss?

The cranberry? What's the one you kiss under? You kiss under the cranberry? That's... You kiss under a mistletoe. You try to put that into your name? Yeah. Mistletoe-refer.

No. Oh, we're doing names that they say. I would sound like it. You know, when cranberry even work. You know, when someone's drinking an ocean spray and you're like, got a kiss on. Got a kiss on. I always kiss people with a mouthful of ocean spray. Not intentionally, but it just works out that way.

That after I kiss them, I'm like, oh yeah, this is cramp fusion. Is it a wild at cranberry's growing a bug? Isn't that crazy? It is crazy. A box build back which is God. Wade Boggs was a God of baseball. When I did the ocean spray tour when I was a kid, they,

wait, wait, wait, what? Full stop. You went on tour with that stuff. Yeah, I played bass. I just felt like a tour, though, because I got really messed up. What was Ocean spray's big hit? Cran Apple. So this, this was, I hate my mom.

Oh, yeah. So of course Ocean Spray was Billy Ocean and Frank Ocean in the few years that they overlapped in the music in this movie. So it makes sense now. You went on a tour of the processing point. Yes, and I, a woman had to tell me to stop taking the samples.

A woman that worked there? A woman, she was like, you're gonna get yourself sick. Oh, I know what I'm doing. She wins and not meant to consume this much cranberries. Oh, honey, nobody here eats the cranberries. Regardless. It was the juice. I was just taking shots and shots and shots.

I hate cranberries. I love cranberries. I hate cranberry sauce. I hate it all. I don't mind the Cran-Raz Le Croix. That's the only cranberry that I can do. Fancy, fancy boy. So I like the concept of the Cran.

I'm a lot of the crows. Richest and JPCs won a game. Uh, it's free at my work. I love it. Our little Prince loves LeCroy. Okay, okay. I'm a little LeCroy boy toy. I'm proud of it.

So this is our Christmas episode. It is Slay Riddle Riddle. For this episode, Aaron Wreath is going to be old. Ham, you eat ham for Christmas. Ham, old ham. Ham, before for Christmas. Yes, you eat it for both. Okay, old man puzzles.

Nick, nikkapuzz. Food. Can you believe it? We figured it out. Real quick. All of Satanicapuzz. And what we're gonna be doing special for this episode is, as the riddles go on, we'll be slowly unwrapping ourselves

as a present for the listeners. Wait, I'm sorry. We didn't talk about this. We're doing a strip riddle. I can't hear you, I'm just rubbing. So we're doing strip riddles. You know, your oncology gets drunk, you do strip riddles. Strip riddles would be such an awful game.

Nerdy. If you are in college and you're playing do strip riddles strip riddles would be such an awful game nerdy If you are in college and you're playing this you're listening to this up podcast do try to bring up strip riddles with your friends Oh, crann old crann. That's good puzzles Old cranberry puzzles. Nope. That's it. That's it. Well, man presence. No, there we go. Old man presence old man presence is better Okay, so I'm That's it. First idea. Well, man presence. Nope, here we go. Old man presence. Old man presence is better. Okay, so I'm old man presence and I can't wait to get into the Christmas spirit. I have a lot's planned, so let's settle it.

Let's do some warm up Christmas riddles. Are we ready? Okay, so for warm up Christmas riddles, these are, can we call these stocking stuffers? Oh, yeah, we can. Yeah, cool. And you're going to hate all of these. I'd stake my life off. Well, has anyone ever gotten those stocking stuffer. Oh yeah we did. Okay cool. And you're gonna hate all of these. I'd stake my life. Well has anyone ever gotten a stocking stuffer that they enjoy? Now I usually

get those books of life saver. It's like oh it's a little book and then you open up it in life savers. What? Can you not read? It's something in a 60s I guess. You used to get pez in my stocking. Remember those member pez? I remember I went to a... It just gets snapchats. We would get nothing in our stockings. Remember those, remember Pes? I remember I went to, and that kid's just good snapchets. We would get nothing in our stockings, like candy and stuff. And I remember I went to my friend's house in high school who was rich and that friend.

I don't have to, they died. No, there's still a life. Maybe we don't talk. But I went to their house and they had like an iPod in their stocking. I was like, an iPod for me would be like my Christmas gift And that was like they're like throw away gift. Oh cute and I upon put them with the rest and I put them with honestly put them with the rest

Yeah, but guess what? His parents got a divorce My parents have been divorced forever speaking of parents getting divorced. Let's celebrate Christmas Here we go What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked up in the sky? What did Mrs. Clause? I want a divorce. I want a divorce. I want a Christopher's. You work one day a year. I'm tired of watching you wait. She said to Santa when she looked up into the sky. Yeah, so Mrs. Clause, she's looking at the sky. She leans over to Santa and she says, Oh, I think I got it. What this guy. She leaned over to Santa and she says,

Oh, I think I got it. What? Would it be something she would say if she also put out her hand? I don't know. Oh, not in this actually. No, I don't mean that at all. Is she looking at the sun and she says, I want a sun, why can't you give me a bowl?

I was gonna say that she looks up in this guy and she says rain deer, like it's pouring rain and Santa's her city. Yeah, that's right. Oh, it is right looks like rain deer I was gonna say if she put out there people put out their hand in movies when they feel rain even though it falls on your face and head and top People do that in movies. I guess I've never noticed when movies when it's raining It's landing on them, but until they put out their hand, they don't recognize it. Oh, people in real life do that, huh? Put out your tongue, catch some of those. I guess I've never structured snowflakes.

People in movies, cause I don't like to have them on my jokes. I've got some of these deconstructed snowflakes. Don't ever say, oh my joke. Okay. Oh, I can't believe we've missed, I can't believe we've missed deconstructed snowflakes. I do want to see a scene

between a despondent Mrs. Clause and a completely oblivious Santa Clause as they are standing outside discussing their marriage and their future. Which roles? Yeah, so Aaron, I would like you to be Mrs. Clause. And I want to play. I never get to play, dude.

So, Aaron, if you'd assume that you would play. What point did that mean? Stay in our mouth. You know, no. Aaron, you'll be playing Santa Clause So so arrogant if you to assume that Erin you'll be playing Santa Claus and Adolf you would be playing Mrs. Claus. And I what do I want? You're just bonded with this bearings. Okay cool context clues Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Put on your fucking pants. I'm got a little bit of a buzz going.

Come on, let's dance. Nobody wants to dance. Oh yeah. Can you see me this guy? Did you see me? Yeah. You don't fly. Okay, you're reading to your whole of your fat ass across this guy.

What? I'm tired of you. Did you know that last night you came home drunk, bragging about how you ran over someone's grandma? Yeah. Eggnog, spike-degna. People leave me cookies and eggnog and I'm... Dunk, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, Jump jump jump jump jump What is wrong? Where did this come from? I settled down with the nicest kind of Swedish

generalist guy I've ever known. And you've turned into this parody of yourself. You're like Jack Nicholson in the department. You're just playing yourself. It's such a good movie. No. That's one of the best. That movie in Boondock State.

Boondock say this okay Eric I'm gonna give you a quick lottery this Santa is not for Boston This is the Santa does not care about Boston. I wait. I wait stay. What you doing doing doing you doing this is just JPC breaking into the See this up first for the show the Santa does not like Boston. Okay. Got it totally clear you good Ho ho ho, duck boat. Duck Tos. Is it Bellas? Do it, got in the museum. The size, we have.

Legal seafood. Duck Tos. Yeah. I've met someone. Oh, is it one of the elves? No, it's Dominic, the Italian, Christmas donkey. Dominic, get in here. I'd rather not.

And he's a Dracula. Come here, look me in the eye. Do you think you're better than me? Look at me. Look at me. I might be the S, but you're the Jack-A's! That's right, Dominic thinks you're a Jack-A's. And Dominic, the Italian Christmas donkey, what are you making me in the morning? In the morning I'm making you with a waffles. Why, thought you're gonna make me some puff? You look like my reindeer except you can't fly.

Everybody eat my Italian donkeys. And Prismet. In your cubs, the second world of riddle already. I just love how Aaron cannot help but be like Boston's mission, Boston's great. I'm just thinking what I see. Here we go. Like a guy's room. Movin.

Like what their horrible posters are. I leave this to you. Yeah, that's true. Like, it guys room. Movon. Like what their horrible posters are. I legal see through to me as the funniest name for a restaurant. Yeah, it's really good. And I went there and it was okay. Well, I like it. It's in airports. There's a legal see-foot in the Boston Airport. I've been there.

What does this snowman like to eat for breakfast? Oh. Oh, okay. So we're people like to eat ass for breakfast. Waffle. I feel like it's waffles. So a snowman would eat ash Carried seats If it's so many carrots no carrots is his nose

His eyes is cold his hat comes to make some come to life buttons me not a car He's gonna scarf down some eggs. And scarf is spelled the way it's harvested. Most snowmen have egg allergies. Rice. Mrs. Snowman. Rice. Rice.

No, not rice. Most of the free world eats rice. That's shit. All meals. Does the snowman do intermittent fasting? Because that's the case. Doesn't eat breakfast until after 10 a.m. I'll give you a hint for this warm up brittle.

It's a cereal. Add non-scied. No. Yep. Bo Burnham. Who's the season two guy? It's not Bo Burnham. That's a famous comedian.

That's Bo Burnham. Yeah, it's Bo Burnham. Bo Burnham. Bo Burn it's Boberdom. Boberdom. Boberdom. Boberdom dessert hilarious. I like that Boberdom special, but he definitely deserted the Iraq war. The answer is obviously frosted flakes.

Yeah, there you go. There, great, which the guy who voiced Tony the Tiger also voiced the Grinch, which is Jim Carey. We ready for the one? Remember Tony the Tiger would always be like, somebody, stop saying, they're great. Do not go in there. I'd like to ask you a few questions about the cereal.

What do elves learn in school? the cereal. What do elves learn in school? Um, science, religion, elf, religion, religion, elf, religion. What, okay, JPC, I want you to do, oh boy.

Just give me the first line of whatever their version of the Bible is, the elf Bible. In an elf voice. Okay, the first version, the first line of the elf Bible in an elf voice. Okay, the first line of the elf Bible. In an elf voice. In the beginning, there were cookies.

I'm so glad I am. And then it just gets darker for the... And the years of playing in pestilums. One ring to rule the wall. One ring to line them. The first elf board was sacrificed to appease the dark god, but did it work? No, no, no, no.

What could be Disneyland? No, no. No. No. OK. What is the question? What did Elf see for breakfast? What do elves learn in school?

What do elves learn in school? Bullying elves learn in school? Mm-hmm, bullying, carpentry, workshop. Yeah. That's a reasonable answer. Yeah, so it's a move on. Because elves work in the workshop. It's more like a play on the word elf. Bambianana, it's a little bit easier. Oh, okay.

Social study elves. What do elves? Elves tree. Elves learn in school. Biological. Math and mouth fix. Math and mouth fix. No, no,ologist. Math a Melfix. Math a Melfix. No, think of like a little kid now.

That's what stiffer studies, am I right? What are one of the first things Elves learn when they go to school? They're little five year old Elves. Oh. They learn to count and then they learn the AB, Shelfs, ABC Elves. What is that called though?

Elphabet, Elphabet. They get out. Elphabelf. Elphabelf. Oh, it's so graceful. Yeah, I want to get you back in the road, but your alphabet is broke, so... How much is this going to cost me? We can order the pie.

We can order the pie. Um, why are Christmas trees bad at knitting? Nothing. Are trees. Easy, easy, easy, easy. Yeah. easy easy easy easy yeah because they forget to oh that's way funnier than they get a little bit they get a little tinsel in their fingers tinselitis tingle look at tinselitis tinselitis I'll have good tinselitis why

do why are Christmas trees what is it why are Christmas trees? What is it? Why are Christmas trees bad at knitting? Why are Christmas trees ornamental? Branch they can't branch out. They branch of Christmas tree drunk other parts Branch spindles Spires Conifer seeds roots. Is this something that you put on a Christmas tree like tensile or ornaments? No, it is part of the tree. Branch? What are

their leaves? Christmas trees have pines. Pines? Leaves, the green part. Pines. The greens. They have no needles. What do you fucking leave on a Christmas tree? Because they always drop their needles. E-ha! Well, that's the same with the hero, and I think. Oh my God.

That means the tree has died. What a dark riddle for Christmas. I'd like to see a scene. JPC, I want you to play a dying Christmas tree. I'm always playing a ghost dog. And I said dying Christmas tree. I heard what I wanted to hear. And Aaron, you're going to play the young woman on Christmas day

who's just that tree was everything she had. That was the only family she celebrated Christmas with was this tree. Come on, come on, Peter, wake up. Don't leave me like this. I'm sorry, but my time has come. Peter, what happened? You were phoned you. Peter, wake up.

You didn't water me. You know you have to water me, right? What? No, you're only... what? Yes, I mean, you had a little stand at the bottom that you put me in, it has to have water in it. You, I don't think so, Peyton. I fucking, I think I fucking know pretty well.

Peter, you remember when we first met? Let me hold you in my arms, what you're having right now? When you had a man chopping me down and bought me for $20, yes, I remember. You are a stale painter, and I thought your proportions as a trade would fit right into. Yes, I remember. You are a stale painter. And I thought your proportions as a tree we fit right into my house, member painter. So is it gonna level with you?

You're going to ruin a lot of relationships in your life. We take you to the ER. May I am, is this your tree? Yes. I'm sorry to say that the tree has passed. I tried to inject a tree with an antidote for for aging, but I being an octo-ray. Being a doctor, I dropped the needle. I'm always dropping needles. Are you sure? I'm pregnant with his baby. I can't raise this baby alone.

That has been such a common occurrence today. That baby's not gonna come out easy. No, it's just, it's taking part in me, Dr. D. Do you have a moment? Yes. As the hospital administrator, it's my duty to inform you that you are fired. Well, that's final. Just retreat to my bedside manner.

So it's this kind of stuff that, it's a manner I bought with. It's this kind of stuff that is the reason why you're fired. It's your little jokes. It's gonna be funnily yourself. It's your little puner-eye bot. It's this kind of stuff that is the reason why you're fired? It's your little jokes. Can I funny myself? Your little puns and your little jokes. And you got to be the most clever doctor in the room. Nobody respects Dr. Bo Burnham, huh?

My sap just broke. They're sap all over the ground. I'm going into the river right now. I'm stuck. And Christmas. Yeah. All right, here's some more. Ben's some more.

Inside batter. You just had that ready, didn't you? No, waiting. You all sew it so. I have one more warm up brittle for you. One more what? Warm up brittle. Stucky stuff.

I like this one being a warm up by the fire. This one is the one you'll hate most of all. Oh, interesting. So it'll take Adel's place. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh, bro. We're all laughing because, hey, we know it's true. Oh, I love it here.

What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus? Uh, do you? Smart. Oh, God. A kid. Is that the answer? No, he comes up the stairs, no. Oh, someone who's afraid of Santa Claus?

A scary class. So glad you... Come on. Scary class? A pregnant class. A pregnant pause. A pregnant pause. Someone who's afraid of Santa Claus?

Someone who's afraid of Santa Claus. Let's wonder who's about other names. Jolly St. Nick, old man, presseys, old man presseys. What are some other names for Santa? It's gotta be a monsoon. What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa Claus? An anti-clos.

Ooh. Anti-disestablishment closet area. There we go, longest words in Christmas. Can we get a hint? No. Okay. Well, we had to ask. Well, we know we're going to hate this one.

Well, it sounds like a fear of something else. Oh, something phobia. So, orachnophobia. It's a Santa phobia. Is a racnophobia the first phobia? You're so close. You're saying Santa phobia. Santa Clara phobia.

No, what's Santa's... Fobia, claus. Fobia, clausophobia. Clausephobia. Clausephobic. Clausephobic. of Phobia. Clause of Phobia, Clause of Phobia. There you go. Oh. Ugh.

Where would I get? Hey, what up? Actually, let's do one more warm up, Riddle. You'll get this right away. I want to hate it. I do. I do. Are you ready?

Yes. Really quick. Yeah. What does Santa do in his garden? Fuck. Yeah. Oh, ho, ho, ho. You're right.

We would get that right away. Plants, Santa shells. What is it? Oh, ho, ho. Oh, ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho you're right we would get that right away plants Santa shale. What is it? Oh ho ho ho. Oh, what is? Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho. Um, okay, we're gonna play a bunch of fun little quiz-y trivia Christmas games. Can I get a guess please? Yes, please. I can't believe I got you to do that. Me neither. Before we kick off into these Christmas quizzes, pit-pizzles, let's take a little break. We'll be right back. You're listening to Hey Rittle Rittle with Adlerfy, John Patrick Cohen, and Aaron Keefe.

Hey, JPC. Uh, uh, yeah? You're not in trouble. Hey, GPC. Yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Atal. And I'm setting up a website to prank him. Um, can I just need some advice?

This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website. It engaged with your audience.

And so anything for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Addle. Come here. Come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC, and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like,

is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money

What is happening? Okay, um wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal square space website not a prank thing new He's gonna shoot you and I'm gonna use analytics use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm going to improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website, the prank activity. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron.

I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what's the website for. Prank. Squarespace. You can connect to your store to Vedent Dirt Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine.

Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey Aaron. Hey Aaron. Hey Aaron.

Can we go to grandma's house? Wait. I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey Adel and JPC, thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an empath.

I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, they're never truly as a middle of the woods. No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help?

Yeah, actually. So, as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron in life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear whether you're dealing with decisions

around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you owl owl. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Hmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works, way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept

of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Hey Aaron, GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Dirty bread crumbs. Mm. And them up and eating them. Oh, dirty bread crumbs.

And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. H E L P dot com slash riddle, R I D D L E. E L P dot com slash riddle r i d d l e r i d d l e the middle of riddles of d but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the

city of the home by m home and are we uh... i would uh... clink clink clink excuse me ladies and gentlemen um... i just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world.

And that is the app Rocket Money. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, kling, kling, kling, kling, kling, uh, sorry, I also want to give it a toast. Rocket money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you.

And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel. And Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Clint, Clint, Clint. It also categorizes your expenses. So you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off. Over three million, oh, Clint, Clint, Clint, over three million, oh, clink, clink, clink. Over three million people have used rocket money,

saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rockets, don't we? Stop, stop, stop, no, click, click, click, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwirted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle.

That's rocketmoney dot com slash riddle that's rocket money dot com slash riddle rocket money dot com slash riddle and tell them jpc's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website click like like like like like like cringole bell cringole bell cringole and i don't know any songs.

The only one I know is the one about, it's cold, let's have some sex. Don't leave here, let's just screw. And it's like, that one's the bad one, right? Yep. I think if you were Christmas song JPC, you'd be Santa baby. That's, is that the bad one that I was thinking?

No, it's the, the, even somehow even creepier. Santa baby's the one with the little baby voice. It's a Santa baby. That's, is that the bad one that I was thinking? No, it's the, the even somehow even creepier. Santa babies don't have that little baby voice. Santa baby. Here's my, my secret. My whole like last year. I'm always angry. The whole last year in the years of my life. Anytime I hear a word or several words that have a certain tone to them, I sing them to the song of Santa baby. Can you give me an example? So, if I were to say like, Krispy apples, like if someone's like, Krispy apples, I'd be like, Krispy apples, hurry down the chimney tonight. Is this like a way to remember?

Krispy apples are just as like, just as like, what do you- Is this a sickness I have? Yeah. I'm familiar with ways that my brain is broken. So, someone's like, you listen to that new pop-a-rochi album? Like, pop-a-rochi. You know how people call pop-a- you listening to that new Papa Rochi album? Like Papa Rochi. You know how people call Papa Rochi? No, I do.

For Papa Ratti. Papa Ratti. You know that Papa Ratti used to be in Papa Rochi when it was Papa Rochi. Eggs and bacon. Yeah. So anything like that. And then it just fits that. So if it's bacon, I'll be like, eggs and bacon inside my tummy right now.

Yum. Yeah. So it's that kind of stuff. but it's non-stop to where. And then everyone gets up from the brunch table. Yeah. I wasn't talking for several weeks. But it's the word that people in my life are like, please, please don't. So if you have, if you have like a series of words like that that reminds you of Santa

Baby, please tweet, addle a suggestion for a therapist. Here's what. It could be a local, it could be Skype, whatever. If you have that, please do eat that too, Adel. He just needs the help. And he can use every outfit. Here's the one we first came up with it. I mean, it took, it took, it took,

it took, it took, it took, it took, well, I guess when I first said it, but it took my brain. When we said riddy-kitty, like riddy-kitty, for every down the chimney, too, right? So just know that that's always taking place in my brain hey it can't be turned off known and immediately forgotten about friends

so i am a thief and i have stolen from adult remember riddle wean? is that what it's called? sure yeah why not? whatever our Halloween episode was hey spooky spooky hey spooky spooky uh this is sort of what we did so i'm going to do a couple of movie based,

Christmas movie based quizzes. Oh, that's great. And the first one, I'm just directly stealing from Adel. Okay. So the first one is I'm going to tell you a line from a Christmas movie. And you're going to tell me what the movie is. It's not stealing.

We're all partners here and we can freely share. I'm so scroogeed. Nice. Aaron, it is too late, but would you rather the show be called Slay Riddle Riddle or Slay Jingle Jingle? Think about it. I don't think about it.

I think Slay Jingle Jingle, because that just is nonsense. It's too late. Okay. It's far too late. Already? Yes. Look, Daddy, teacher says every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings

That is from Christmas story Christmas vacation You'll shoot your wings. Oh wait. What are we doing? I'm gonna give you a line from a movie. Yes, it's a one of your life Okay, that's the one that glorifies suicide Next one are we ready? Mm-hmm snow snow snow snow Next one are we ready? Mm-hmm. Snow, snow, snow, snow. Can anyone have a photo? Frozen. No, it's being sung though.

Frozen. Snow, snow, snow. Can you hear me? Is my mic on Frozen? It's Frozen. It's Frozen. Snow, snow, snow. That could be any Christmas movie ever made.

All right, I'll give you this another one. Can you sing it? I'm doing it. Snow, snow, snow. Des sing it? I'm doing it. No, no No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, love them. Okay. And Danny K is America's clown. This one should be obvious. I don't know. I love it. I love it. Why am I such a misfit? I am not just in it with just because my nose glows. Why don't I fit in? It's got to be something with Rudolph. No, it's a drunk. Rudolph, Redness right now. Yeah, you got it. Let's just say the name of that movie. Yeah. Christmas sucks.

Let's do it. Let's go get the shit kicked out of us by love. Grease two. Yep, Grease two. The famous Christmas movie. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's go get the shit kicked out of us by love.

Love actually. Yes. That movie sucks too. I love love actually. Yeah, sure, you're a simpleton. When that little kid's running through the airport to stop that much older girl, it's made for them, dumb psych. You guy with the signs outside of her apartment.

Wait, before you go on, there's a quiz just about that movie. Oh, really? Just hold on to your butt. What is sign number four, say? Yeah, what sign number four, say. I'm just a man standing in front of a man, the camera. A man in black. The next line is, I was wrong when I told in front of a man. The cannons. A man in black. The next line is, I was wrong when I told you that Susie.

You must believe in Mr. Cringle and keep right on doing it. You must have faith in him. A Christmas could be. This is going to be a miracle on a 34th of street. Everyone was named Susie in the old days. Sometimes you just have to slap them in the face just to get their attention. I think a waiter told me that. Sir, I said you need to pay your check.

We're closing. It is a waiter at the cheesecake factory in Minneapolis. He hit me as hard as I've ever been hit. Sometimes you have to slap. What is it? Um, sometimes you have to slap them in the face just to get their attention. Pesco is from the movie of all time. I heard.

Where's Almighty? Nope, scrooge. Freaking a... Where's Will's Almighty? When the thermometer gets all reddish, the temperature goes up and when the temperature goes up, I start to melt and when I start to melt, I get all wishy washy.

Oh, I love it. I love it when I try it. Is it frost start to melt, I get all wishy washy. I love who from my driver. Is it frosty this morning? I'm not hungry. Is it strong that way? Is it? You got it. Nice. This is an easy one.

I want an official red rider, Carbine Action 200 Shot Range Model Air Rifle. That's a Christmas story, right? That one's the one that just plays it excessively all day, every day on Christmas, when you're my family. Correct. It's for my family.

TBS or two and two years. Very funny, very drama. Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's mourn, the clean, cool chill of the holiday air, and an asshole in his bathroom, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer. That's gonna be chubby cheese as Clark Griswold, talking to a Randy Quaid who has since gone

bananas. Oh yeah, he's he full grown, he full grown. In what movie? It Chris Moose vacation. Mm hmm. Uh, next one is, hey, I'm not afraid anymore. I said I'm not afraid anymore. Do you hear me?

I'm not afraid anymore. It. That's for us. No, it's it. That's legit aligned from it. So I don't know what this is, but I just saw that movie recently and that's aligned from it. I'm not afraid anymore. The client eats his finger. Elf. No, here's another hint. Hummel on. Hummel on. Those two are in the studio Aaron Aiden and tire pizza I did eat an entire pizza today Aaron reached into her bag. Hold out a tranchilla Drop it on JP face. They hit him over the head with a can of paint

She bogged her head with a bully ball real hard. We had to do it in ornaments put it at her feet Middisfackel heated up the door now. I she shot us all with a tummy Gotta call this a dirty animal. I burned the roof of my mouth today because I didn't wait for my pizza to cool. I needed it so bad. That's where I'm at. That's where I'm at.

The sad sad movie, Aaron's like, I did that all the time with tea except I didn't fucking need that tea. I actually hated that I had to drink it. Are we ready? SpongeBob SquarePants. Yes, the SpongeBob movie. This one's really long.

I'm just going to have to read the end. Just read every third word. Oh God, no. You hate Christmas. You're going to steal it. Saving Christmas is a lousy ending. Way to commercial. Action.

Action. Truman show. Yeah, Truman show. I've doubling done on that. Here's your motivation. Your name is Rudolph. You're a freak with a red nose and no one likes you. Then one day Santa picks you and you save Christmas.

No, forget that part. Part. We'll improvise. Just keep it kind of Lucy Goosey. You hate Christmas. You're going to steal it. Saving Christmas is a lousy ending. Way to commercial.

Action. Way to commercial. Sorry. I keep checking to see if there's any recognition in KJ's face when we read these and I'm pleased to announce they haven't gotten a single fuck at one of these. I'll tell you what's going on. It's a slice smile about. Who likes Christmas? Yeah. And then the last one and it's obviously obvious. You did it. Congratulations. World's Best Cop of Coffee. Great job everybody. It's great last one and it's obviously obvious. You did it. Congratulations.

World's Best Cop of Coffee. Great job, everybody. It's great to meet you. A folder's commercial. Oh, have you seen that? Folders commercial, by the way, where the brother comes home and he's like the sexual attention of commercial.

Everyone has the same joke. I don't have a joke for it. I just was sharing a moment. 1997 called. I would say that's one of the most romantic commercials in all it is one of the most romantic you are from but you know but they're actors those people And if I were paid to act like I wanted to fuck my brother You could bet your ass. I'd be Caching that check

And we're gonna take another break For our sponsor brother fucker Brothers ugly that come I could be a thing for our sponsor. Brotherfucker. Oh God. Brothersledley.com. That could be a thing. I'm sorry. So I just have more games. I was wondering if you could take games. Wait, wait, wait, what's the answer to that one?

I really don't know. Is it really a folder's commercial? Oh, it's Elf. Oh. Congratulations. We're all the best cup of coffee. I like that Aaron was willing to just move on. Oh, I thought that you knew it anywhere.

No, I've never seen Elf. I've barely seen any Christmas movies. I know I've seen Parts of a Christmas story because it's been on like in the background for my whole life But if you were like hey, let's watch a Christmas movie. I would instead just leave I when I first moved to Chicago I was this is don't freak out when I tell you this I I was an extra in the movie, now I can't remember the name of it. The movie was Jennifer Aniston, Vince Vaughn. The breakup. The breakup. I just watched that movie on the airport.

I was an extra in the breakup, and two things happened to me of note. I was in many scenes over the course of many weeks and it was very sad to shoot this. The first thing I was in was at Rigglyfield and as I was in extra, I waved at Jennifer Aniston and she ran up to me and hugged me because she, I think she thought that I was someone she knew and she was very tiny with a very large head. And the other thing of note is that while we were shooting a scene at the Riviera, I got put front row for a concert with the old 97s. So I was in that scene and the camera was going to be on me like jumping up and down, cheering,

and singing along to the songs. And then the guy who is Ralphie in Christmas story was directing the movie. And he saw that my shirt had a little American eagle logo on it. And he came over and he goes, what's that? And I go, it's a logo and he goes, you have to leave. And I go, what? And he goes, we can't have any logos in the shot.

And I go, I can take off the shirt and he goes, no, it's too late, leave. So he ruined my life. Wait, he fired you. He, I didn't get fired. I don't know about what a venue. I had to go. I had to go to the like the balcony or the very back. But I was supposed to be like featured fan. And, and that guy, I forget his name because it's really drastically changed my life. Yeah. I blocked it out, but he fucked me. Yeah, don't worry, logo dumbass, you fucked yourself. I just watched this movie on an airplane

because it's on Netflix now. It does not age well. Like Vince Vaughn is bad in this movie. Oh yeah. Yeah. He's also... There's nothing redeemable about him. The scene at the Rivera afterwards,

there's a scene it takes place where like someone in the background is selling posters and merch. That's my sister, about him. The scene at the Riviera, afterwards, there's a scene that takes place where like someone in the background is selling posters and merch. That's my sister, Sidia. Really? You were both extras in that movie? Oh yeah. That's awesome. So we first met.

All right. That's funny, because that's your sister. Folk to yours. You get to decide what happens next. Do you want to do the love actually game or do you want to do a lightning round of something? Love actually. I actually don't believe we decide what happens next. God decides what happens when we're bored. Right, so we're going to do love actually. I want you to try to name all of the couples or storylines in love actually. Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. How much time do I have?

I don't have to tell you that way all the couples here we got prime minister and And the woman he loves who's his secretary secretary. We have Liam Neeson and his dead wife We have Sherlock and Laura Lenny right? Sherlock and Laura Linney's no wait. Is that Laura Lenny? Yeah, we have Alan Rickman and his Sherlock and the woman not sure like with the largest the guy plays Watson. in that movie. Yeah, that's there. They have nothing to do with the freement. He had just started the two porn. The two porn people.

The two porn people. You are casting a wide net. Lorelyn is not the one in the porn. No, she's not. She is the movie and her brother who's having troubles and the guy from lost who was in one episode. Yes, yes, yes. The very attractive Argentinian man. And then Watson is in the porn one. We have the guy, the gangly skinny blonde who goes to America, to have sex with January Jones and Denise Richards.

Is Hugh Gray in there at all? Hugh Grant, yeah, we are talking about these. He's the prime minister. We have the little boy and the girl who voices Marceline in Adventure Time. We have America and the love for the movie itself. You're forgetting some major. Did we do guy with the cue cards and what's? No, you have the main one.

So newlyweds and best friend, best man, who's talking the wife. Yes. We're missing, like I would say three major. Three major? Did I mention Alan Rickman and the woman that works who looks like a fish? Yeah, and then his wife who is.

And his wife who listens to Johnny Mitchell, while she's heartbroken. And her brother is the, is Hugh Grant. Is any of, are any of these Laura linear? Cause she's in this movie. We already did that. We already did that. We already did that.

We already did that. We already did that. We already did that. We already did that. We already did that. We already did that. We already did that. We already did that. We already did that. We already did that. We already did that. We already did that. We already did that. We already did that.

We already did that. We already did that. We already did that. We already did that. We already did that. We already did that. We already did that. We already did that. We already did that. We already did that.

We already did that. We already did that. We already did that. We already did that. We already did that. We already did that. We already did that. We already did that. We already did that. We already did that. He's a different person in his manager. Yep, and now there's one more. And... I'm not so forgetting one. I don't know. Bo-yo-boy, Bo-yo-boy. There's one more?

Yeah, it's like a major one. And Liam Neeson. No. And the people who took his daughter. Yep. Yeah, now... It's another really famous person within not so famous,

not, I don't know, them for many things. What's the actor? Male, female. I'm not gonna tell, well that's, well if I say the actor, that's... Male, I don't know, them for many things. What's the actor? Male, female. I'm not gonna tell, well, that's, well, if I say the actor, that's the actor. Male, I get it. The more famous one is male. That isn't that always the fucking case Hollywood.

So sick of this shit. Who are we missing? Who are we missing from love actually? Give us a hint. Give us a hint, dude. I have a hint. Give us a hint. Crush on this person growing up.

Give us a hint. So have a crush on this person growing up. Give us a hint. So it is Roy Orbison. Are they a British person? An actor? Are they older? I'm maybe it's Oliver Platt. I mean maybe I don't want to give anything too much away. Is it Oliver Platt? Is it Pierce Broughton? I have a crush on a young boxer. He has been in a movie with Pierce Broughton recently. Oh Thomas was he a mamamia? Oh, is it, oh, what's Colin Firth in the, Colin Firth, yeah, it's Colin Firth. Looses all his papers. Mm-hmm.

You can't speak English. Yeah, Colin Firth is a little smoke stack, isn't he? I was a little bad, probably. I'm proud of this. Oh, and Bridget Jones is a stack. Yeah, smoke show. He's a smoke store. Smoke stacks, kind of fun.

Yeah, it's a poison. Well, on this point, if you can guess my favorite storyline, or my second favorite storyline. Is it the one where Laura Lenny fucks Sherlock? Yep, moving on. Nice, I got those bonus polips. What's your favorite one is the newlywed? No.

No, yeah. You're favorite one is the most worth. No. I like looking at him, though. You're favorite. The prime minister? No? That's the runner up one. I like how they're just calling her overweight the whole time It's just yeah, it's not as fun. It's not as fun to try and recall your opinion which we don't know well

Just guess well, we this is the same as us guessing all of the blood Where are we? Is it the poor? We're not is the porn one is it the porn like Martin Freeman well well well Mom Freeman you little hobbit you can get it any day of the week my head moxtec Lightning round Lightning on Christmas mm-hmm how ghost I'm gonna do a Game that Adela invented. I'm gonna give you the tagline to the movie You're gonna tell me the movie perfect it let it be clear. I invented this you invented this

This is called the Addle Game, right? Oh, wait, before we move on, I would like to see a scene, and I want you to to be in a cut scene from Love Actually. So whatever it is. A whole cut plot line. A whole cut plot line from Love Actually. Okay. You're connected somehow by something, but yeah.

Excuse me, sir. Oh, okay. Would you like to sample some of this brisket here at this store oh my this is embarrassing I'll work at this store I'll work at this store too how come I never seen you I'll never seen you before would you like to sample some of this pineapple glaze nah I don't want any of the brisket either fuck off in hey we're gonna cut real quick. Hey, buds. Uh, you are...

Which bud? Are you talking about anything? A bud Sullivan. Bud, both buds. Both buds. Hey, you're supposed to fall in love. So I need the sexual tension to be turned up to about a hundred. Well, what? What is? I know we're supposed to fall in love, but I'm doing my best to fall in love with this guy, but it's given me nothing.

And action. Can I just say something, Miss Director? I'm doing my best to fall in love with this guy, but it's given me nothing I didn't come up Can I just say something, Miss director? Oh, she called, she called action Billy Bob Thornton is playing opposite me right now, which is incredible Wouldn't he be better served as like the American president rather than a Growsher? And action

Movies are what I love best Hey, do you want to come over tonight? I'm making a Sunday roast Movies are what I love best. Hey, do you want to come over tonight? I'm making a Sunday roast. Or can break the pineapple glaze if you can provide the roast in. You know what they say about pineapple? What is it?

They say about pineapple. They say if you eat it, hard on the outside, soft and yellow on the middle, then calls pineapple soft. I wouldn't call it hard. Ooh, this is hard. Cut, this is too much sexual tension. I need you to dial that.

Well, I mean, let me know and I'll do what you asked. And see. And see. Okay, we're ready for this. La la la la la lightning, man. What we need to get celebrities to film that scene and then put it into. Well, actually, in the beginning.

We don't necessarily need to get to celebrities. We mentioned just any celebrities. It could be Tony Danza. Malablock. Wormer ball, ballablock. Malablock will the Valarama and Tony Danza all filled that seed. Have you been reading my diary? All those men in one place?

Okay. Colin Firth here. Are we ready? Yes. A family comedy without the family. Casper. These are Halloween riddles, right? Family. This is the movie tagline.

Oh, four Christmas's. Home Alone. They're making memories tonight. Oh, they're making memories tonight. Memento. Cats. It's a wonderful life. Five.

Ultimate romantic comedy. Love actually. Love actually. Inside a snowflake, like the one on your sleeve, there happened a story you must see to believe. Freshies, I mean. Inside a snowflake, men and black. The whole universe exists inside the still and marbles.

What story happened to the guy with snowflakes? Frozen. Men and black black inside a snowflake Men in snowflake That takes place in what is snowflake what do you mean? Who's our inside of a snowflake? What do you mean? Are you serious? The who's are in Everyone I'm not even joking the Grinch the movie the Grinch takes in place. Does the book take place inside a snowflake? I'm standing up screaming this takes place The movie The Grinch takes in place. Does the book take place instead of snowflakes? I'm standing up screaming.

This takes place. You know who hears a who? I'm literally screaming. I'm dying. I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm literally dead. In the Doctor of the Universe.

I'm dying. I'm dead on my haters' presence. The who's are really, really tiny and small. Yes. Sometimes they're like on a leaf or in like one of those like dandelion things. I don't know how I miss this. So how is there, so there's who's and there's a Grinch,

whatever, whatever thing he is, what is he? There who's down there. He's a monster. All these movies are fucking nonsense. I can believe that that those all live inside the community of a snowflake. I believe that biology. How is a dog in a snowflake?

Rural me that. Experience the miracle. No, no, no. Oh, the Kirt Russell Hockey movie. Miracle. No. Miracle on the third floor of the street. Yeah. This holiday discover your inner.

No. Blake? This holiday discover your inner. Elf. Yes. Never mention them be. His father, her mother, his mother, and her father all in one day.

Fuck part. Christmas fuck. Keep fighting. How the grins still keep on. No. Four Christmas's. 12 27 just misses. You'll like you'll log.

Uh huh. Crack up. Uh crack you'll crack log. You'll crack up. You'll crack up. Wow. Uh, crack, crack, you'll, crack log. You'll crack up. You'll crack up. Fireplace the movie. What's a comedy from Christmas? Christmas, it's got a Christmas comedy.

Oh, a family vacation. Christmas vacation. This Christmas, the snow hits the fan. Okay, so it's a sh- It's a sh- I love Christmas. Correct. It's a shit movie.

It's a shit pun, so's a shit pun, so. No. Oh, the Christmas trap. The Santa Claus. Funk. Wait, that's the tackling for the Santa Claus? You know he kills Santa in the beginning of that movie? It's what I hear.

A tribute to the original traditional 100% red-blooded, two-fisted, all-American Christmas. Diehard. Diehard. Die hard. A Christmas story. What? Rediscover the joy of Christmas. Any Christmas movie?

What's the toys for tots? What's the Arnold Schwarzenegger one? Oh, rediscover. It's the, lived-out repeat. Oh, Edgy Tomorrow. Edgy Tomorrow. We're everything in this one. It's a Christmas Carol.

He's very naughty and not very nice. JFK Christmas fuck party. JFK the original French sorry. I don't like Catholics. He's very naughty and not very nice. Yeah, there you go. I was just doing my video about the neighborhood. They're glow's neighborhood Christmas lights the movie Christmas Christmas lights the movie there's a Los North Road no they turned that book into a movie that makes more sense can you give me the just a moment from the pinnacle scene of Christmas lights the movie Whoop, they're all up neighbor. What do you think? Well, there's nothing left to do, but plug them in

Right here we go. And I have my female end. Okay, you got to mail end. Yeah, you'll get in. Sorry, there's too much sexual tension in this. I'm not even more supposed to work with a person, Lord Niz. And Christmas.

And Christmas. Where was I? Oh, two dads, one toy, no prisoners. You've already taken it. Tingle all the way. Yep. Yeah. Journey beyond imagination.

Space DM. No. Uh, never any story. Journey beyond imagination. Oh, journey's live album. You have to get onto a, uh, some transportation to go. Hogwarts. There you go

Um Santa's Coming to town. You did it. Speaking of Vincenzoan so much. He did it. What is the appeal of Vincenzoan? I'll go against Hollywood's biggest most darling boy Vincenzoan. I'll go against him today. He tall man He's tall. John Fabrow. He writes wingers doing yours? The beginning of the movie, The Breakup, Vince von C's, Jennifer Anderson at a baseball game and harasses her. Just straight up harasses her. Just approach it and it's like, where are we going to dinner?

You know, what's going on later tonight? Where are we gonna end up together? And she's like, haha, get away, get away. And he's like, I'm here for the long haul. Your boyfriend's a loser. It's like not charming at all. And those bad efforts are rewarded? Yeah, well, actually, no, it's called the breakup.

He gets dumped. Good. And then he played Bane in Batman. I was born and swingers. You are a swinger. I was born and hit. I was born as John Favreau's teacher. Got them. you're people. Vegas baby, Vegas baby.

I got these claws. I don't know what to do with them. Oh, and Wilson's my friend. There's little herders bleeding out all over the arms. Oh, yeah. I'm going to help you through this, but you're going to recite together, it was the night before Christmas. Okay, I'm going to make this very difficult for you.

And I know that about you. And that's why I saved it to the end. Okay. Thought about doing this at the top and knew it would take the entire time. Okay, so this is the part of the show where we have to ask the listeners to pause the podcast, pick this back up on December 24th, around what, like 11 p.m.? I'd say so.

Yeah, leave your family, leave your stupidest family. Call your girlfriend. Or right before midnight mass. Yes, right before midnight, as Robin says. Right before midnight mass, when all the good deals go up, right? I love going to midnight mass on Christmas Eve. It's the one time I really go to church every year. I love my calendar girl. They make it fun, right? They make it drunk? Everyone's like, shows up a little bit toasty. Everyone in town is wearing party outfits.

I think that's just Boston after 10pm. Boston after 10pm. What do I say 10pm? I mean, 10am. It's a town full of drugs. I think you're right. They're all walking the.m. I mean today, I'm some devil of drugs. I Think you're right. Yeah, they're all walking the freedom trail. I do the thing where I'm smoking weed with my fingers Aaron Aaron can you give me just a 10 second chunk 10 second nugget? What it might sound like if Bane was from Boston Glossum your peop. Oh god. I don't want to do this Sorry, I said sorry want to do this again. Sorry, and this is going to be of course a Boston baked vein. This is a Boston baked vein.

Bane. Boston baked vein. Glossum, Glossum, you're a pe- oh, Glossum, Jesus. Glossum, can you get your goddamn shit together for once? God, go to church! Biggie, a goddamn stuff out! Ugh, gross them. Fuck that man.

Okay. You live in Fenway. I was born! Red Sox Batman. Ugh, brother. Perfect. Um, are we ready? Yes.

Although my mom was gonna be offended by me saying that about midnight mass. Also, they sing silent night at the end and they turned down all the lights and it's lovely. How's that coward Mitch going to feel about what you said about it? He's just going to be a coward about it. He's going to be told coward. All right, so you would never be ready. He will. I know he will.

All right, ready? Yes. You know the beginning, so just a turn. Twice the night before Christmas. When all through the fridge, not a creature was stirring, not even my wife. Mm-hmm. What a bad show we do.

What a bad job we do across the board. Not even a mouse. Wait. Not even a mouse. The. And not even a mouse. The kids were upstairs, waiting for Santa to crawl upstairs and check on them. The children were snuggled. All the stock.

What? The stocking. The stockings were hung with chimney. With chimney delight. The stockings were hung with chimney delight. With the, no, we need the last workshop. Side is going with care, is it care? We should alternate lines.

Okay. So it was night before Christmas. And also the house. Not a creature was stirring. Not even a mouse. The stockings were hung. Something that's... That's, so that's one line by the chimney with...

By the chimney with care. In hopes. In West Philadelphia. The four-minute race. On a chimney, you used to spend most of the night. The whole thing. On a chimney with care. The stockings were, on a chimney, is where it's been. Well, the day you did it, on a chimney with care.

The sockets were hung on the chimney with care. And hopes. And hopes that that saints say Nick would bring them a bear. Soon would be there.

Soon would be there. The children. The children were asleep. Were nestled. Were nestled in all snug in their bed all snug in their bed The children were nestled or snug in the bed the children were nestled daddy was fucking Well visions of sugar plums dance in their heads. It's gonna take way too long. Well visions of sugar plums

I do that one, but my it is pretty accurate We're gonna do one more like little check. Okay, can we contact our lawyer and see if we can change? Our lawyer is just JPC and mustache. Let's change this. And he will not take our calls. This artifact of a poem to say that that he was fucking the mommy gave it. With visions of sugar plums dancing their head, what?

Dancing their head? Dancing their head. And I, in my Kirchiff had just settled down. You got, yeah, you knew the Kirchiff part with some of the body. And I in my Kirchiff had just settled down. Is that right? Had just taken a nap.

No. Someone else is wearing the Kirchiff. And Ma in her Kirchiff. And Mama in her Kirchiff. And I. And my cap. Yeah. And I in my cap had just settled down

for a long winter's nap. Yes. Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap. Well, this one's on the right. Yeah, my cap. Yeah. And I in my cap had just settled down for a long winter's nap. Yes. Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap. Well, this one's on the right. Yeah, it's our brains. When? When? Up on the roof there was such a clatter.

Out on the lawn there was such a thing. Would you do next? I popped up the stairs to see what the matter. I sprang. I was loving it. I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. I sprang. I was loving it. I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. That's what it was the matter. I got out my gun and got it to show.

No, no, no, no. It's a standard ground state, so they'll go to hell. Give me up. Okay, one by one. Away to the window, I flew like a flash. I threw up in the windows and opened the sash. Yeah, I got it. Tor opened the shutters and threw up the sash.

Can I have this, I need this one. I need this one so. Tor opened the shutters and, wait, what is it? Tor opened the shutters and threw up the sash. Okay. The sash being a sign to my local crew. Yeah, I'm the mayor. To come run that.

The moon. The moon? The moon? I don't know this line, but I get to say a word I'd love to say. The moon was so bright I could hardly believe. The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow. The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow. And have we run with snow yet?

No, not. The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow. Look down at my pants. What is thing, bro? Yep, and that's the end. I think we did a crazy thing. What is the actual life? What is the actual life?

Oh god, it's gone. Oh, it comes but once a year. Oh, gave the luster of midday to objects below. Give the luster of midday. Those two lines for a little tactile. Yeah, and what's in my wondering, I should have given. Wait, there's more, but a minute to say, an eight-tiny reindeer with an old driver,

so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick. More rapid than Eagles. His coarsers, they came and he wished. More coarsers, I don't know, and shouted. Why did they just say, more stars? Now, Dasha, now, dance. Oh, how do you do these? Okay. Now. Dasha, now dasher now dancer now blitzin. Nope, plan sir. Mm-hmm now blitzin donner. No David

What is the rhyme with blitzin? Critson. Ditzin. Hey Stephanie Hi, I'm Ditzin. I am on the main the earth Rhymes is blitzin. That's not of them. What are we doing? I'm single. What is the ratio that rhymes with Blitzon? That's not Blitzon? Yeah. Schmitzon? Schmitty. Schmitty.

Now, Dasha, now, Dancer. Mm-hmm. Now, Prancer. Now, Vixen. There you go. On. Donner. Nope.

Carol. On, uh, space thing. Uh, Elon Musk. Elon Musk. I'm on the Harold team. On. Comment. Yeah, that's a really inside baseball thing. Thank Musk. I'm on the Harold team. On. Comet. Yeah, that's a really inside baseball thing. Thank you.

On. We talk in space, we talk in baseball. That's a time day. What? Massacre. On Comet. On kisses. Cute. Yep. On.

On. Brand. And then you know these last two. Blitzon. Daughter and Blitzon. Daughter and Blitzon. Yep, you got it. Now, to take us out, I'm going to give you a Christmas song,

each a Christmas song. Okay. Bring it back and forth and then you have to say a full line from that Christmas song. It's fuck. Ready? Drummer boy. He had no gifts to give, poor bum bum bum. You said it like you're being interrogated. Is that there's a, is that right? A sniper trained on your head. Is that sort of right? I have no gifts for me. I have no gifts to bring. Puh, pump, pump, pump, pump.

Well, before we move on to the next one, I'm going to get going to stomped the yard. Puh, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, And we're headed out, we're leaving the house, we're on our way to meet Jesus. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

I'm on my keys. What? I can't find my keys. Oh, you didn't hear? What? That guy stole them at that key party. Yeah, you didn't hear that? You're not so wise, I was.

You're not so wise, I was. That guy stole the keys. I like to focus on the task again. Okay. We don't need to bring up what I did last night. Plus, you don't need to key to ignite the camel. So let's just say it's the key to ignition. It's not in fresh air.

What did you buy for the baby? I bought, look around, look around, look around, sand. I brought some sand, because it signifies time. You know how sand's in an hourglass? Oh. Where it's like, it's time for a king to be born. So, so that it's symbolic.

Can we, can I put my name on that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's from both of us. That's from both of us. I got gold, frankincense, and a murk. Ooh. So. Okay.

Wow. I don't know. I think that's a new baby in the world. Here's an omelet with white truffle, black truffle, and gold. That's a little ghost, don't you think? I mean, it's a ghost. I don't, I mean.

Merkett and Tritys, we're gonna do, we're gonna do you a favor. Why don't we split that gift between the three of us? Honestly, it's gonna make you look like less of an asshole. You think so? Yeah. Well, then I'm definitely bringing the gold. Then I'll do dibs on my... wait, what's what?

Yeah, so we don't know what frankincense and murder is. Why don't we all say the gold is from all three of us? And then we'll do the frankincense and the murder of the sand and the bag. And that'll be kind of like a... that's like... this is also it's with the gold. Wait wait wait wait what if Josh? What if I bring bronze? Okay, and you bring silver Okay, so when we get something don't have in silver golden bronze makes over Sorry Your next song is oh holy night So we're each one say one? No, whoever can think of one

first. No. The price is born. It's always sort of with you too. Oh Holy Night, the stars are bright and shiny. Yeah, you got it. Right in Chinese. Hurry down the chimney. Tonight. So bright. So bright. The weary world rejoices. Rocking around the Christmas tree. Did you just do a fucking audition on our podcast?

Hey, Mr. Producer, Mr. Hollywood, here you go. I can show you the world. Yes, ma'am. Okay. Bright and glimmering Christmas. Rocking around the Christmas tree. Just you wait, it gets wetter. Rocking around the Christmas tree.

Rocking around the Christmas tree. I haven't coped up for a day. And that's great. What do we have to talk about into plug, friends? This has been Sledge Engle, Jingle. This is Adolfo. You can come check me out every Saturday at 8pm and 1030 with the show World News Tonight at I.O. Chicago. Hey, guess what?

Also, Aaron Keef and JPC are also in that show. Thank you to that. See that, and then afterwards, please jump out and say, Ra, hello, and we'll meet you. We also have merch at our merch story story which you can find on T public. So search Hey Riddle Riddle on T public and find that. You can find us on social media at Hey Riddle Riddle on Twitter and Instagram. You can also find us on email.

We're on email, right? Yeah, we're on email. Well, you can do that. Are kids still doing email? Kids love email. So write HRRPodcast.gmail.com. Send us your Puzzies, send us your Riddies, just say hi to us, you don't have to send us anything if you don't want.

We love to hear from you. Say hi to us, but you don't have to sidd this, anything. So draft an email to us. Watch the movie, The Breakup. Oh, God, please, don't. Look for me in Wrigley Field. I do, I kind of wish I had known that when I watched the movie so I could have seen you. You can follow me on social media at JP SoFlo.

I'm sorry. I wanna do plugs for myself. Oh, did you not just do that for like a solid fucking two minutes? I did it for the show. That's stupid for you to do that. I guess, I wasted my time. You plugged it. You plugged the world this.

You started with your plugs. Then you did some show plugs and you wanted to what book it with your own plugs All right, go ahead. I'm not I could also follow me at add over five follow me at Chuck with like a billion fours or something Chuck with four fours Adal did you want to play your social? At jpc fly on, at Shark Barkman on Instagram, you can see my bio and see all the things that I'm doing and just say hello and I don't say hello back

and wouldn't that be a Mary fucking Christmas for everyone? Aaron. Follow me on my Instagram, Aaron Keefe 10, to find out what shows I'm doing. Also, listen to my two favorite Christmas albums this week. You should listen to Nat King Cole's Christmas album in Harry Coddock Jr's first Christmas album.

He did it when he was 26, it's a classic. Wow. That's great, good news for him. Cool, and Erin, you said that you were, this is, we're all kind of going away for Christmas. By the time this comes out Everyone's gonna be hearing this we're gonna be scattered throughout the the country But Aaron you were going to a pretty far away red and red destination. Were you not? Oh, yeah

Christmas on a Jupiter This has been Hey Rural Rural, created by Adolf Refin. Sorry, Eric Yeevin, and John Patrick Collins. P.A.S. N.E.E. Kennedy, the memory parent in the mid-medium. This is the most beautiful memory ever. The logo created by M.O.B.S. Cargamus and I am a leader more. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,