Hey Riddle Riddle - #220: Wednesdays Are Back!

Episode Date: October 5, 2022

Tickets please! Tonight's performance of Hey Riddle Riddle will contain the hosts discussing if the show will ever end, Stoker shock, the saddest we've ever been, stage manager appreciation, Lazerwolv...es and priest puns! Also the word jicama is said incorrectly! Enjoy the show! Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to mail us something?  Hey Riddle Riddle  6351 W Montrose Ave #267 Chicago, IL, 60634 Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531) Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a head gum podcast. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you.
Starting point is 00:00:40 And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. And the world is ready for you. Oh, sweetie, look at this young girl. She's collecting tickets. What do you have so far? Well, if you're gonna get on this train, I'm collecting tickets. Addle, give the girl some of your tickets. She's collecting them. You don't need so many. You have so many blessings, my boy. Alright, so this is Beatles' Shea Stadium, 1965. Incredible. Very special one.
Starting point is 00:01:04 Hey, hey, hey, Addle, Addle. Huh? Come on, man, that's the good ones. What do you do? So this is Beatles at Shay Stadium 1965. Incredible. Very special one. Hey, hey, I don't, I don't, huh? Come on, men, that's the good ones. What do you do? Oh, I joking. Those are gonna pay for your college, my dear boy. Riffin' half, ah, wow. Wow.
Starting point is 00:01:15 This one is a golden ticket. Now this gets you one free tour of the Wonka factory with- Incredible stitches out of your hand. Oh, credible snatches uh... you've seen the movie uh... this is a ticket to incredible snatches and unreleased horror film uh... from
Starting point is 00:01:34 the adult hard-of-guy richy's best don't give don't give a uh... ticket to uh... unreleased snatches what are you doing well Brad Pitt famously played a, well, I don't wanna say that.
Starting point is 00:01:47 Yes, yes, yes, that's filthy. These are cool enough tickets to get you two spots on the train to Hey Riddle Riddle. Are you interested? Oh, do that train noise? It's pulling out of the station. Better decide quick. We were on our way to my dad's funeral,
Starting point is 00:02:02 but I guess we could do Hey Riddle Riddle. That sounds interesting. Final. JPC. Final. Yes, we were going to make it funeral. And there's funeral cake. What else? What else?
Starting point is 00:02:12 We're young lady, where are you going? Well, to hey riddle riddle, of course, that's why I'm standing on this train. I don't know if that's a horse situation. This on the side of this train, it says hey riddle Riddle, I am technically on the train collecting tickets. Are you alright, Ghosts? Miss Aletus, well me and my friend can't read, so I guess you just warmed that one out of us. We're illiterate. Is that what you wanted to know? I thought this would be a simple concept.
Starting point is 00:02:37 It turned out to not be as simple as I thought. Are you one of the trains moving? You coming? I don't know on the side of it. I'll run alongside of it. Oh Yeah, I could outrun a train no problem. Oh, we did Later. Goodbye. Wow Hey guys
Starting point is 00:02:59 Aaron you just missed the coolest woman in the world Dang it! Yeah, there was a train and everything. And Aaron, the best part? She could read! Aw, man, I would have loved that. What's up, guys? Oh, well, I'm out of reply.
Starting point is 00:03:18 I'm JPC. And I'm Aaron. Do you think that the will ever have to record a last episode of Hey, Rital, or do you think we'll go through? Yeah, yes. But Aaron, if it helps, I don't think we'll know it's our last one. Yeah. My, that is my hope. My hope is that we don't know that it's the last one that we are recording.
Starting point is 00:03:40 I'll be like, hey, can we, um, can we kind of stockpile some episodes? Cause I'm going on the Titanic to Gemini I found this very cheap flight. Yeah, it's a big boat in the air Well more likely we'll all just be like hanging out and then someone will be like, Hey Casey moved to Mexico We're like, uh, well, how do we do the thing? I don't know. He's got we're like Well, how do we do the thing? I don't know. He's gone. We're like, uh, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:04:06 No more episodes. He had all the Howard Dean screams samples in the world. And we're, really, we literally cannot do the show. All right. Well, that makes me feel sad, that you think this is ever going to stop. Aaron,
Starting point is 00:04:18 the saddest you've ever been in your life. Oh my God. Well, right now, probably. Oh, can I tell you, can I tell you, I do have a story about saddest I've ever been in my God. Well right now, probably. Oh, can I tell you? I do have a story about Saddest of Ever Abit of my Life and it's not really Saddest of Ever Abit of my Life, but this is recent. We went to a restaurant and I'm not going to name them because it doesn't matter, but
Starting point is 00:04:37 it is one of my favorite restaurants. We got some pick. It's all fun. No, we got some pickup food. It's a local Chicago place. We drove back to the house and opened it up and one of the things that I got had a side of steamed vegetables.
Starting point is 00:04:50 And I've had the side of steamed vegetables from this place before and I opened it up and it was all carrots. It was 100% all carrots, but then it also had mixed in with the carrots. You know, like the pieces of broccoli that aren't actually pieces of broccoli, but it's like enough of a little thing of broccoli that you...
Starting point is 00:05:06 It's not stems. It's like a little broccoli sprout, so that you can see that broccoli was present here at some point. But this is not broccoli. It was all carrots with those little tidy pieces of broccoli. That was a big thing during World War II, I think. Broccoli was here. People would spray-paint it on walls.
Starting point is 00:05:22 It would be a little piece of broccoli peeking over a wall. Yes, yes, yes, yes, you understand. So what is the ideal as a vegetarian? I mean, you're a vegetarian, I'm not. As a vegetarian, you, JPC, what would be the ideal? That's so confused. What would be the ideal steam vegetable mix? Well, so the ideal I think is a mix, right?
Starting point is 00:05:40 Like, I open this up, I see all carrots, and I think like, at that point, it's not steam vegetables, at that point, is steam carrots, like, up, I see all carrots and I think like at that point, it's not Steve vegetables. At that point is Steve carrots. Like, oops, all carrots. You've broken a promise to me and you've given me oops, all carrots. So anyway, I think that's funny. I laugh about it. I put the carrots on like my plate from the Togo box. And then there's just like a big piece of plastic bag that's also like in with the carrots. It looks, it truly looks like a condom,
Starting point is 00:06:08 like worth of plastic and that shape. And I was like, oh, this is like, this is not only was it all carrots, but there was like a plastic bag in it, which is pretty gross. Even though- This is the saddest you've ever been. It was pretty obvious.
Starting point is 00:06:23 It was pretty obvious that whatever the bag that they had the mixed vegetables in, this was just like a corner of it that had gotten mixed into the cooked vegetables. Whatever. It's full of plastic. If I found three inches of plastic in my food, I would be so bum, are you laughing?
Starting point is 00:06:40 I would say, as a non-vegetarian, I would say, snow peas or sugar snap peas. That's my number one. If I'm getting this deemed vegetable medley, I'm looking forward to those sugar snap peas. That's what you want. Yes, those are the number one, in my opinion. I definitely don't want mushrooms,
Starting point is 00:06:56 because I'm not a mushroom guy. But I think my least favorite would probably be like baby bok choy. Don't leave those out of my mixed vegetables. Can I give you a hypothetical? Well, yeah, but can I finish my story? Oh, there's more. So I was like, well, I'm not gonna eat this now
Starting point is 00:07:12 because obviously there's a piece of plastic bag in it, but I don't wanna be like a dick about it, but I was like, I'll just call the restaurant and see if they can just like whatever comp, like the meal, and I did and the restaurant was very, like a polygenic and they were very cool about it and they just were like, yeah, we'll like refund you for that thing But as I'm calling Mariah who is also eating there was other stuff besides the the big vegetable
Starting point is 00:07:32 She was like taking bites off my plate. She took a carrot It took a bite of the carrot and put it in her mouth and I go that was the thing with the plastic bag in it Like that we we just talked about and she spit it out of her mouth that she was like I forgot I'm on the phone with the restaurant. We had just talked about it and she spitted out of her mouth and she was like, I forgot. I was like, we had just, I'm on the phone with the restaurant. We had just talked about it. Oh no. So this is about as Mariah's ever been. Before I did find, before I did find the piece of plastic bag, I did half like four or five of those carrots.
Starting point is 00:07:56 So I did, I did eat some, eat some plastic bag carrots. Not the saddest I've ever been, but still kind of weird, kind of gross. Yeah. Well, shows cancels. Yeah, no, this is the last episode. This is what I mean, though.
Starting point is 00:08:11 I wish you that was a test and you guys were supposed to go, no, Aaron, we're going to do this show forever. There's no reason to be sad, but that's not what you said. You both laughed instead of course. Well, it's kind of like you asking like, you know, do you think we're going to die one day? It's like, well, of course. Well, it's kind of like you asking like, you know, do you think we're going to die one day? It's like, well, of course, like I'm under no one. You should that I've been a. Why?
Starting point is 00:08:31 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You know, he's not going to die anytime soon as this, because I got my, my COVID, my Amacron booster, I got like the new, the new, the new hotness, the new COVID booster, like two days ago, and I gotta tell you, feel great. Did sleep, did sleep, did take a nap today for like four hours, but other than that,
Starting point is 00:08:58 feel fucking fantastic. I'm getting my next week. I'm a little bit nervous, because it always sort of knocks me off my feet. Yeah, it was about 24 hours of getting knocked off my feet, I would say. Aaron, I gotta say, and I mean this in the nicest way. I think in the last two years,
Starting point is 00:09:15 you've had COVID more often than you have had COVID. Thank you. Well, you know, something about you. Wow, that's really sweet. That was a big attention. Yeah, I just have a personality that's sort of just like Beth from Little Women. I look sick all the time. I act sick all the time.
Starting point is 00:09:32 I just have that vibe. But I've only had COVID twice, I think. Mm. Yeah. Aaron, do you already have your appointment? Yes. Okay. And Aaron has pronounced Dungeons and Daddies.
Starting point is 00:09:43 Oh, yes. From Dungeons and Daddies from Dungeons and Daddies. Well, so I, when Ryan, I got appointments at the same weekend about separate times, and when she made hers, that was the last time that day. So I got an appointment at a Walgreens at 8.15 PM on a Sunday night, and I was like, for sure that this isn't a real appointment.
Starting point is 00:10:01 I'm gonna get in there, they're gonna be like, what? The person who does that went home hours ago. You can get the fuck out of here. But it was actually the best because I went in at eight o'clock and I was out by like eight o' five because there was no one in there. They were like, yeah, we'll give you your fucking next feature.
Starting point is 00:10:18 And I did COVID shot in one arm, flu shot in the other and I was told by Raya, I was like, I'm gonna see, I'm gonna test which one I feel like I have more of a reaction, you couldn't tell the difference. The exact same. And both of them were in Needle and My Art. I'm, can I tell you to the side of the side, have I ever been?
Starting point is 00:10:36 Yeah. I was driving, this was maybe. And obviously Casey bleeped this out. Yeah, bleeped this whole thing out. One long bleep. Make it sound like a weather warning. I'm, Casey says this has. Yeah, blue to soul. One long bleep. Make it sound like a weather warning. Casey says this has Patreon energy, which is simultaneously the biggest insult and biggest compliment.
Starting point is 00:10:53 No, it's a compliment. Patreon's better. Yeah, fair enough. Maybe it is eight or nine years ago. I can't remember when I was driving and as I was driving and it was kind of stormy as kind of raining. It was lit at night. I saw a woman on the side of the road dressed in prom attire and she had her thumb out. She was checking. And so I picked her up and she got in the car.
Starting point is 00:11:17 She just looked, she had kind of this pale look to her and a scarf around her neck. And as we were driving, I was like, hey, are you okay? Like, where can I take you? And she's like, drive to the old high school. I was like, never ask a woman, where can I take you? Yeah, she seemed upset. So I started driving her and clearly she was going to prom. So I drove her to the old high school.
Starting point is 00:11:41 And high school hadn't been in operation, I don't know. In 30, 40 years. And so as we're driving, we're coming up on a cemetery and as we pass the cemetery. And Adel before you keep going, just remember that you promised me you'd never lied to me again. But keep going. Ah.
Starting point is 00:11:58 Ah. Ah. And then I was so hungry. I woke up. I woke up. It's so loud. If this is a dream, my parents. Yes, there you go.
Starting point is 00:12:11 There you go. This was a dream. It's not a lie. This was a thing that happened. You a sad dream. And as we passed the cemetery, the young woman said, look a cemetery. And I was like, aha.
Starting point is 00:12:22 And I was kind of rolling my eyes. So cut the interesting fact. And I was kind of rolling my eyes. So cut it in. That's not an interesting fact. And I dropped it off at the school and she goes, oh shit, this is the wrong high school. And I said, well, I gotta get going. And I felt so bad for her, because she clearly went to the wrong prom.
Starting point is 00:12:36 But, you know, that shit happens. Anyway, we should get into the riddle. You try to do a good deed for someone, and that's exactly what you get, you know? Unbelievable, millennials. Elfable one's saying unlimited. No, no good deed goes unpunished. That's what I meant to say.
Starting point is 00:12:53 Is Elfable one saying, Ilkinam and Nam and Nam, Jamand, and Nam and Nam. What kind of car is that? Elkinam, Nam and Nam. Okay, let's do riddles, because you're right, this isn't a Patreon episode. We have to be serious.
Starting point is 00:13:07 I don't know. What gets sharper the more you use it? You're a noodle, you're noggin, you're brain. You're brain. Well, that's the brain. Brain, the final answer. Final answer, Reba, spray. What's the name of the brain?
Starting point is 00:13:22 I do wanna see a scene. A million dollar question. Brain. I do wanna see a brain. I do want to see a seed. A million dollar question. Brain. I do want to see a scene. JPC, you are famed English author, Brahm Stoker. Okay. I assume he was English. Sure.
Starting point is 00:13:35 I said, people just name. Aaron, this is like a kind of a writer's retreat. And Aaron, you are Brahm Stoker. And there's been some sort of mix up at the writers retreat with name tags No, this is simply unacceptable sir sir front desk. Yeah, this is simply unacceptable first. I Sir I beat a sir. I'm saying sir as politely as I can sir not as polite as me I beat a sir I'm saying sir as politely as I can sir not as polite as me
Starting point is 00:14:11 And I'm big how to go so I take my head off My name tag it's just the white parts of my pockets I'm like a baby then I go You're my name tag I found one for my my phone I don't know how to unlock the phone I hold the phone at you Ssss Sss I- you're name tag
Starting point is 00:14:33 First I was not able to access my room upon attending this conference and now I'm being accosted by this vagabond at the front desk Loons desk? Oh, excuse me, I am a far more fancier man than you Why would I name- why would I grab the wrong name tag? This is mine. Oh my gosh. There's either a typo on my name tag or we have similar names. I see the misunderstanding now looking at the name tag of my name spelling upon your chest. My name is Brahms Stoker.
Starting point is 00:15:06 B. R. Ha ha ha. No, hold on. Hold on. And you're a writer, professionally? I'm not an editor. Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:15:16 Bizzoring. Bizzoring. Bizzolinks. B-A-R. There's an each of their subways, and then an A, and then of course there's an M. I'm prom stoker. Ah, and I'm...
Starting point is 00:15:30 Braim stoker. What was it? That's what- that is what you have written on your hand. That's what he has in the front desk. What's my name? Sir! Sir! Your name, one moment.
Starting point is 00:15:46 Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Hey Mary, it's me, your cousin, Marvin Shelley. You know that new monster book you've been looking for? We'll listen to this. Ugh! Sir! Sir! Sir! Wow! It's so fun to find the origin of a story inside of the scene.
Starting point is 00:16:07 Pretty cool. Yeah, learning is can be fun. Um, have you guys ever tried to read, um, in a very young show, these? Never. Once. Never again. I should have, I should have known where that question was leading. I don't think I have. I don't, I don't recommend it. It's pretty boring.
Starting point is 00:16:26 I old books from a long time ago are pretty boring. A lot of the times it's pretty dense. Yeah, it's tough. It's tough from a long time ago. It's tough, yeah. I would just rather see, I just rather see, you know, what the new Marvel movies all about. Let's see what the F-man's take up as it is.
Starting point is 00:16:45 I heard they made a book out of Amit. No way. Must see. It's a little panels. I don't know. The musical involves some great dancing by a group of actors that had been friends. Wait, did we get the answer to that one? Was it Brain? I'm just fucking Braim. Braim. Oh, we were right. It was Braam. Okay, we're ready for the next one. Sorry. I don't know. The musical involves some great dancing by group of actors that had been friends and performers for years. By the end of her second week, Java was still a part of the
Starting point is 00:17:17 cast, but she was no longer included in the show. Why? Okay. And her name is Jabba. JVA Java Java. She broke her ankle. Aaron. Whoa. Did they're gonna get it? You are dead on. Really? No, but there's something to it. There's something more to it. She broke her ankle dancing. She broke her ankles, uh, waving at her friends in the show. Dear Evan Hansen. Okay. So can you read the rental? King through a window. The musical involves some great dancing by a group of actors that had been friends and
Starting point is 00:18:00 performers for years by the end of her second week. Java was still a part of the cast, but she was no longer included in the show. Because she's an actor, not a dancer, so she's not very good at dancing, so she broke her legs. Tell me I'm wrong. Was she the lead dancer,
Starting point is 00:18:18 but then she broke her ankle, and then they were like, I guess you can be the stage manager, and they were like the stage manager, the job that we basically don't even need to have. Hey, the rest of us cast are going home. Can you sit here and manage the stage? Yeah, right.
Starting point is 00:18:32 Make sure it's watered. Make sure the stage is here on time, stage manager. I think that Hey, Rital, Rital listeners, it's like 90% former stage manager. This is true. So I know that I know that people are gonna come at me for that. I told my it's true. It's true.
Starting point is 00:18:46 It's a lot of people in black shirts and black pants. With burnout and anxiety. And who are eight weeks out of the year are just need that control. They need to be able to yell at someone to be like, hey Josh, hey Josh, we're rehearsing right now. Can I roast our listeners really quick? Please? Hey listeners How is your addiction to colorful pens going?
Starting point is 00:19:11 Why don't you buy some new station there? Yeah, that's right. How are Dean's cream? Organize mother fuckers. You need more stickers for your water bottle And if you're one of the if you're one of these listeners who sit here all high and might be being like, yeah, get them, roast these stage managers, I'm looking at you, prop master. You're just as gullible in all of this with your all black attire standing next to your little table, the Lord of the Little Pable. It obviously takes one to know on situation. We know you because we are you.
Starting point is 00:19:42 Yes, I'm a bit of a prop master. I'm basically a Midwest character. Did you guys do, did you guys do any stage crew or stage craft or whatever it was called in high school? I didn't do it in high school. I was too busy being the lead. Um, I was Robin Hood. I was Robin Hood and Robin Hood.
Starting point is 00:19:58 The musical, the big deal. I was hooking a little bit called Peter Paner. A sensation. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, sensation. Qwani high school times called me. A sensation. I did. I did in college as a theater major. We had to spend time doing a little bit of everything just so you're well-rounded.
Starting point is 00:20:20 So I had to do costumes. I had to do lighting. I had to do, well, if I did, I had to learn about stage managing, but I don't know if I actually did it. Had to stage manage anything. Because I was always in a show every semester, so I don't think, I don't think they ever made you like be a stage manager, but I did costumes in lighting for a dance recital and for something else that was non-acting.
Starting point is 00:20:41 I did stage crew for all the musicals and high school because I never sang in the musicals. So I did all the plays and then did crew for the musicals. And I think mostly what I did was like build sets and stuff and then have the someone else come by and be like, you built the stair up that upside down. Like everyone else is building a huge set and you're working on one step for four months
Starting point is 00:21:03 and you fucking up continuously. But then I would always, I would be like one of the people who would dress in all black and like move the props on stage during the, you know, blackouts. But I was never like a stage manager. And that was the people who were serious about crew. And I was the person that were like, look, you're a fucking actor, you don't need to be here. I could easily see a young JBC being told, you built the stair upside down and you going well at some point They have to go downstairs And then being like James
Starting point is 00:21:31 I remember vividly having to rebuild a stair three times and finally the director was like you keep doing this wrong And I was like yeah, man because I don't know how to build a fucking stair You told me to do something I don't know how to do I Did so much crew during college. Well, most of the crew I did was like costume crews. Yeah. Like I was people's dressers on the actual day of the show. Like a bureau.
Starting point is 00:21:57 Exactly. Yeah, like for you to be honest. Yeah, I was like the bureau. I was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, like a different, like a bureau. I dressed Nancy Bell in Macbeth. Like she was like a dream to work with. But I was on a set building crew,
Starting point is 00:22:13 I think I've told this before, for three penny opera, which they basically were like, you know what, it should be a big wood set that takes eight billion years to build. Yeah, yeah, it was fresh. And it was my first crew, oh, so bad. It was so, that crew was so bad, but I was the only other friend I had on the crew
Starting point is 00:22:28 was Jimmy Betts, and we had to learn how to weld, and we had to be there for three hours every day for like four months, and there was one Saturday that they made us come in, so we're like, so burnt out and tired, we're there every day, and we were there for four hours, and they're like, okay, build this ladder, and we tried for four hours, and we're like, this doesn't make sense, we're so confused, hours and they're like, okay, build this ladder and we tried for four hours And we're like this doesn't make sense what we're so confused and then they came in they're like oh my god
Starting point is 00:22:49 We gave you the wrong measurements. Sorry to waste your whole Saturday. It sounds like a elaborate prank Also, I got to say and yeah funny name, but I bet anytime your friend goes to Las Vegas. He has comped everything He's got a big, Jimmy Betz isn't there. But, that they, she's the gentlest soul. He's like a little lamb of a guy and he burst into tears and threw a hammer at a wall.
Starting point is 00:23:15 Oh, shit. And guess what I did? I burst into tears and we hugged each other on the floor because we were like, this crew is present. That would be a good, yeah. and we hug each other on the floor because we were like, this crew is present. That would be a good. Kathleen Turner, you know, the actress was in a show. Just to say, yeah, St. Louis Repertory Theater, while I was on the three penny opera crew. And she kept, she was walking backstage while we were building it.
Starting point is 00:23:42 And she was like, what is this for? What are you guys doing? And we're like, it's three penny opera. And she's like, oh, okay, okay, okay. Yeah, it was really bad. She just like she kept forgetting every time she'd walk by and be like, what are you guys doing? We're like still three penny opera guest lead turner check back in four years. You're still doing it's been four years. What are you doing? God bless actors and they work very hard and they're very good and talented and lovely. But man, crew work so much harder than them. Crew work so much harder.
Starting point is 00:24:09 No one works harder than stage managers. They're angels. I will say that also, no one, from being an actor and being involved in the crew, I remember the first show that I crewed, we were building stage, and there was a guy named Chris, who was a friend of all of ours, but we had one of those industrial things of not so ran rap, but like a shrink rap or whatever. And we thought it'd be very funny to shrink rap Chris's car closed so that he couldn't get into his car.
Starting point is 00:24:37 And we did it, it was very funny, we trashed his car, and he was very bad, and he said, I will get revenge on all of you. We're all, haha, I'm like, I'd like a, there for the ride. I'm like, ha, ha, this is fun as well. And then the first person that I got revenge on was a kid named Colin. And Colin was carrying his hand four buckets of paint. And he was carrying them, like on the stage to somewhere.
Starting point is 00:24:57 And Chris hit him in the nuts so hard. And Colin folded down on the ground, but he couldn't spill these open things of bait that he was carrying. So we just watched him like fold down on the ground, but he couldn't spill these open things of bait that he was carrying. So we just watched him like fold out of the ground like slowly while the paint like dripped in the ground and we all watched it horror because we all knew we were next and we were like that's how he got Colin. Like no one slept a wink.
Starting point is 00:25:19 That's the time that grew in some sense. So funny. Lesson learned. Lesson learned. Backtrack slightly. Aaron, you made a joke about being a singing dresser saying, la la la la. Oh, I do want to see a scene.
Starting point is 00:25:32 Oh, good. This is kind of like a beating the beast situation. Like you said, JPC. So JPC, you are the beast. You're the titular beast in the castle. And your castle is magical, but it's magical because you have one, you have one dresser that talks. It is never a person or anything. It's just you have one dresser that talks and that's it. God damn it. I broke all my clothes up again. God damn it.
Starting point is 00:26:26 I'll be naked. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I don't want to wear a big floppy dress in a sun hat today dresser. Thank you very much I Take me to town today. No now We now dresser we did that we did that one time and what did you do? I made everyone scream But I just wanted to go Little boy peeking in the window. I told you I told you he fucks that dresser She said take me to town and he said we've done that Look okay, I I thought me going into town was gonna create such an up war because obviously I may you know big beast That lives in this you know manner house all by myself
Starting point is 00:27:03 But no people were just enthralled by the singing cabinet because we tried to go for a nice dinner and you just couldn't stop singing. Ooh, me? Yes, you know. No, no, no! Can I just get some pants and a cape? Because I have a huge day of, I have to scowl around,
Starting point is 00:27:21 and you know, you know. Yes, but first What are we like what how would you define our relationship? I mean we're having fun, right? I mean You know, it's just like it's just like fun in the house thing. It's not like fun like we it's I don't think that we're like You know, we're not the type of you know whatever. I don't want to say a couple But we're like, you know, we're not the type of, you know, whatever. I don't want to say a couple But we're not going out Where are you paddling and I want to feed the dogs? Kicks in door you there beast. It's time to die. It's me. Gaston
Starting point is 00:27:58 God the local buff man. Yeah, I guess you'd actually you know what big p bigplex ribs my shirt pulls off pants chippin damn bands Magic Mike magic Mike magic Mike. Oh Cabin did you hire another stripper? Did you hire another someone's birth? No Strips like a stone and snap snap that neck All right, well now now I'm gonna need an amorclose because I have to bury another stripper. I can't believe you I know the secret we share but It doesn't
Starting point is 00:28:35 It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn It doesn It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn It doesn It doesn't It doesn It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn't It doesn It doesn't It doesn't It doesn It doesn It doesn It doesn I love that at the start of the scene it was basically Brian Cox as the beast or
Starting point is 00:28:45 fuck off Shabong Goddarrit You want to know where you're from Wolverine? And I have a question for the group. Am I okay or am I mid nervous breakdown? Aaron were all mid nervous breakdown. Great.
Starting point is 00:29:02 Yeah, that's my favorite string of the world. I have a question for you all. The musical involves some great dancing by a group of actors. Fuck. I had been friends and performers for years. By the end of her second week, Java was still part of the cast. She was no longer included in the show though. Oh, because she's in a cast.
Starting point is 00:29:20 She broke her leg and she's wearing a cast. So she's part of the cab. Donk, donk, donk, donk, I would talk that. Don't don't don't. The cast she was a part of was on her leg and her broken leg made performing impossible. I would like to see a scene. Yeah. Um, you two are in some play and, uh, one of you has, yeah, has a broke broke you can decide which one and one of you has a broken leg and it's really affecting the performance oh father I'm home I'm home for the from the war and I I just want to see you I just want to see you be happy you you haven't been a happy salesman since I don't
Starting point is 00:30:03 know when even though my name is happy I haven't been happy I haven't been a happy salesman since I don't know when you even though my name is happy. I haven't been happy I haven't been happy You shouldn't be dancing on the roof No, this is a production of Fiddler Out the Ground. Obviously, we had to make some changes. So it's gonna be Fiddler Out the Ground. No, I'm in the cast, I understand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, be careful because it looked like you were climbing up on the roof.
Starting point is 00:30:34 How are they breaking the fourth wall? I can hear them talking to each other. Smaim, excuse me, maim. Hey, you, you're out. Take her ass out. What the fuck? I play happy Because we're the actors
Starting point is 00:30:53 Yeah dumbass when you go to a play the people on stages supposed to be talking not the people who are on too much Malium in the fucking audience not that person if you would have commented I don't have to watch Fiddler on the ground. That's nothing the metaphor is that the Fiddlers on the roof when he's playing his music It's called dual music in a place that is tricky Where he could fall and he could hurt himself the music is cultural Oh music is called you oh Lewis I didn't know we had a dramaturg in the audience Yeah, more like drama turd man stay man I'm a turd man. We're just a man. We're just a dramaturd
Starting point is 00:31:22 Man, man, man, man, man, man, get back here. We're dressing you down. We're dressing you down. We're dressing you down. Turn. Hey everyone, can we get a round of applause for the crew? That's, yeah, he does. He's working crew in America. Absolute heroes, the crew is absolute heroes.
Starting point is 00:31:32 But just America. That woman's not clapping. I saw that woman not clapping. Do the show, do the show in our class. We are doing the show. We are doing the show. We're doing the show. If you would have screamed at us in character,
Starting point is 00:31:43 you would have been protected by state law because state law says in the theater Tradition fuck fuck fuck. She's she's got us. She's got a state law Let me let me ask We'll put her on stage. We'll trap her on stage with the laser wolf. The what? The laser wolf. Good luck beating the laser wolf. Dumbass.
Starting point is 00:32:13 RAP! You're gonna beat me, RAP! You're gonna beat me, RAP! You're gonna beat me, RAP! You're gonna beat me, RAP! You're gonna beat me, RAP! You're gonna beat me, RAP! Of course, laser wolf is Nick Offerman's production company.
Starting point is 00:32:25 Ah, Laser Wolf. I shall. I remember we did Fiddler of the Riffin High School, and my buddy Pete got cast as Laser Wolf, and I was that familiar with the play at all, and I was like, oh Pete, they made up a part for you. Laser Wolf is not, there's no sense, that's nothing. That's nothing really. That's basically tree number two laser wolf laser wolf that was a good every production of
Starting point is 00:32:50 filler in the roof is a gregarious senior you're not the best singer but he's he's really charismatic make him laser wolf well speaking of laser wolf why don't we laser our walls on over to an ad break and we'll be right back with more a riddle riddle Hey, uh, JPC you know how I love he looks sleep I love that he looks mattress brand Uh, best nights sleep of my life. I know not everyone is on board yet. So I secured Award winning sleeper Merrill sleep. She's right behind that door Merrill sleep. Wow. She won the golden pillow for best sleep That's right. Hey Merrill
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Starting point is 00:34:32 and you can figure out what mattress is right cheap for you. I don't know if you're a side sleeper, or you sleep hot or cold, or if you sleep like me, Meryl Sleep. Yeah, choosing the right mattress is a real Sophie's decision, but don't just take our word for it, or Meryl sleeps word for it.
Starting point is 00:34:50 He looks has been awarded the number one mattress picked by GQ and Wired Magazine. It was even recommended by multiple leading chiropractors and doctors of sleep medicine. Shh. I don't think I thought you were the person that you were talking about. Who are, what a performance.
Starting point is 00:35:04 He looks mattresses all come with a 10-15 year warranty depending on the model. Oh, stunning. Yeah, look, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to helixsleep.com slash riddle. This is their best offer yet, and it will not last long,
Starting point is 00:35:24 with Helix better sleep starts now. Go ahead and give her the Academy of Snorr. The Snorr? Academy of Snorr? You know what? Give me the Academy of Snorr. Glint close to falling asleep. That's why I got you. Oh yeah, I got that a lot. Hey, Adel, hey, Aaron, I got a bone to pick with the two of you. Sure, yeah, I wore the skeleton outfit just because I figured this was coming. Happy Halloween a few months early.
Starting point is 00:35:50 It's not yet the... What is it? So you know how the two of you, I was like, guys, I am always so hungry for lunches and dinners and the like and you, jokers, told me, oh, JPC, it's okay, all you have to do is take some, you know, American paper currency, tape it to your front door, close the door, and then wait until someone brings you food. Well, I kept opening the door, and the money was gone, so I had to tape more money to my
Starting point is 00:36:17 door. I think you didn't work at all. Oh, door cash. JPC, yeah, you did door cash. We told you door dash is the number one thing to you. What the hunk? With Dore Dash, you'll enjoy next level convenience with delivery in the hour, making it easier than ever to get whatever you want delivered to your house, whether that be back to school supplies
Starting point is 00:36:39 or whatever it is that you eat. JPC, which I don't know what you eat. I eat back to school supplies. But what? JPC, all your favorite retail, grocery, and convenience stores are on the app, so you can chop everything, your kids, your dogs, your family, might need for back to school.
Starting point is 00:36:56 And hey, personally, just yesterday, I bought some Marsha's homemade premium quality buck eyes. You know those candies that are chocolate stuff with peanut butter. I just got those from DoorDash and they were on my porch within 20 minutes and it's very dangerous because they're delicious. Did you fill your belly and your pantry? Yes. Did you fill your backpack? I did. Okay, well then DoorDash has come again for the gold. I remember distinctively the stress of going back to school and going from store to store to get all my favorite snacks and pencils and pencil cases and all the things that I needed
Starting point is 00:37:32 me and my siblings and I remember how stressed my mom was and I know that she would have loved to have door dash so she could be prepared before the big back to school day arrived. So you can stock up with go to breakfast lunch, lunchbox, staples, and brands that you love. Don't eat my school supplies, JPC. JPC, put that eraser down. Put that trapper keeper down. Your mouth is too small. Never been told that before. Shop door dash to get everything you need for the back to school season delivered right to your door. Order now for stress-free back to school shopping. Use promo code riddle to get 50% off up to $10 value.
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Starting point is 00:38:30 That one's bad. Hey, JPC. Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Atal. And I'm setting up a website to prank him. Um, can I just need some advice? This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm pranking Adal and I'm setting up a website to prank him. Okay.
Starting point is 00:38:45 I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Adal. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to sit online, whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand. Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website engaged with your audience. And so let me think for products to cut into time all in one
Starting point is 00:39:09 place all on your terms. Hey, Addle, come here. Come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace you can have custom merch, you can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money.
Starting point is 00:39:41 What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from.
Starting point is 00:39:58 That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website to prank the tool. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for.
Starting point is 00:40:13 Prank. With Squarespace. Yes, it is. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Madel? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine.
Starting point is 00:40:30 Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey Aaron. Hey Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey, Erin.
Starting point is 00:40:46 Hey, Erin. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. Ha, ha, ha. Hey, Rick, oh, Rick. Oh, Rick.
Starting point is 00:41:02 Adal speaking of laser wolf. You know what I just got back from? Meow wolf. Meow wolf. Laser go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:12 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:20 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was in Santa Fe, and I had a restaurant. I had moved my life. Did you like it? The restaurant, no.
Starting point is 00:41:31 I was expecting more of like a text-mex thing, and it was a little too much text, not enough text. I'm so excited. Santa Fe is truly one of my favorite places on Earth. I never knew. Why were you there? Would you do? Tell me all about it.
Starting point is 00:41:44 I went to Albuquerque to go to the, on earth. I've never been there. Why were you there? Would you do? Tell me all about it. I went to Albuquerque to go to the, I think it's the world's largest hot air balloon festival. Oh, yes. Yeah. Cool. That's where you and Maria were in a business trip. Yeah. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:41:59 Yeah. When, before we were dating, we went on a business trip when we worked with the same company together to, I think it was like a resort in Albuquerque or Santa Fe. It was, I think we flew into the Albuquerque airport, but it's all like very similar over there. I think it's about an hour away. I remember as a kid watching loony tunes, and Bugs Bunny would always be like,
Starting point is 00:42:20 uh, taking a train to Albuquerque, Oklahoma Zoo, a Cucamonga, and I was like, I was like, these are clearly made up little towns. He's clearly just saying sounds. And then I grew up and realized, oh, these are all real places that sound insane. Well, what's litified it for me was the Weird Al song, Albuquerque, which,
Starting point is 00:42:37 Oh, that's right, which is, that was one where I was like, oh, I guess it is a real place. Do you have any bear claws? Right, bear claws. That's Gemma's favorite word else song. So my buddy saw weird else play that song last year.
Starting point is 00:42:51 Oh, sorry. Blood. No, Aaron. It's a very pretty like your headband. It was driving me insane that I couldn't get that sneeze out and then it really hurt by the time of. It doesn't matter. Keep talking. Did it hurt when you sneezed so loud just then? Tenth avenue sneeze out. So your friend went so weird out. Oh yeah, he played Albuquerque. And he said he did a very fun bit where Albuquerque is like a 12 minute like song. It's like a very long song. He did a bit where he's like talking
Starting point is 00:43:24 to the audience. And then he like weird out like he's like, well I like song, it's like a very long song. He did a bit where he's like talking to the audience. And then he, like we're not like, he's like, well, I lost track of where I was in the song. I'll just start again. And then he said he played, he did like the first four minutes of the song again. And then stuff, it was like, I just remembered where I was. And then skipped to the part of the song.
Starting point is 00:43:38 That's incredible. I was like, that is such a funny bit. You take a 12 minute song and turn it into a 20 minute live piece. That's very funny. What's great is, if you, I always thought it was a weirdo original, if you, I can't remember the name of the song, but there's a song that he's parodying and it is insane. I'll send you the song.
Starting point is 00:43:57 Wait, what? That's a parody song. Oh, yeah, the albacurky. It's not a, it's not an actual, it's like a human sort of, yeah. It's not an actual parody, but it's like, I can't remember what the term for that is, because like, parody is like when he does like, uh, um, homage paradise versus like gangster's paradise.
Starting point is 00:44:16 Yeah. But it's, yeah, some sort of like, oh, Mosh, uh-oh, Casey's typing. So Casey might know style parody. A style parody is what it's called. Yep, that is, that is the, that's the technical term. But the song is insane. You're both insane. So JPC, I have... I'm absolutely dying out of curiosity. You went to Meow Wolf. What did you think? I loved it. How do great time? Isn't it so cool?
Starting point is 00:44:36 Yeah. Did you get your burrito Christmas style? I got my burrito Christmas style, which is when they put a little french fries, Sanitai french fries Mission Christmas style That's what George W. Bush put across that naval ship Mission Christmas style What would the world have been if he had had a big banner that said mission Christmas style that show? Mission and Christmas Well A mission in Christmas. Well, I'll just do another riddle here. I don't know. He's a mission of Christmas and then transition into a riddle.
Starting point is 00:45:08 You're a riddle. That was heroic. That was amazing. Our next live show, can I pull a cord that drops a huge banner that just says mission of Christmas? I know. The thing about things like that is like God, it would be so worth it to do that bit, but it would take so much effort.
Starting point is 00:45:25 I remember when I was much younger, I mean, I'll probably the same thing with you. You, you, you, uh, uh, Christmas wrapped. Christmas wrapped the whole person's like a apartment. I had such, I had such an energy and thirst for doing like elaborate bits. And now in my 30s, I'm like, huh, fun idea. Let's think about it for a second.
Starting point is 00:45:42 Yeah. And let's move on. Let's, let's name the episode mission at Christmas. Move on. And it's a survey. You get to a point where you just text people and you're like, should we do this? And you toss that idea and they go, yeah,
Starting point is 00:45:55 and you go like, yeah, we should. And then you don't talk to that person for two years. Uh. You can just, but the time you're 30, you can just text your friend going out to dinner. And that's the same as going out to dinner with your friend. You just think about how it would go.
Starting point is 00:46:08 We should have dinner sometime soon. Having fun is a young person's game. Oh, absolutely. Just this morning, I said to Sean, it's almost Christmas. And he said, you need to get a grip. Because I... Well, you're on the ledge of your... Oh, I just love Christmas so much. I've been sending him Christmas tiktok since about May going like let's get ready to Christmas.
Starting point is 00:46:34 Jack James Christmas. Yeah, Christmas. I don't even feel anything is decorating my house for Christmas every year. So, can't wait. Aaron, who is doing Christmas tiktok in May? Like, are these old Christmas TikToks for these? My soul mates. Yeah, a person with the other parasite in their brain. Yeah, other people with clinical depression. Thank you for asking. Yeah, they're like, pick your Christmas by this year
Starting point is 00:47:03 and then we'll just show a bunch of different Christmas vibes. Actually, I don't know. This is not a safe space to share this. I realize that this is not the group of people I can tell about that. I cut it out, Erin, but we need the content. We need it. Erin, I have to stand there. Yeah, whatever, whatever.
Starting point is 00:47:20 Just speaking of bits that we won't do anything with the other day, I texted Maria. The Stanley Tucci Institute of Toot Technology. And I said, I don't know what't do anything with the other day. I texted Mariah the Stanley Tucci Institute of Tucci Technology and I said I don't know what this is, but they hear it is pretty idea for the world I don't The Tucci the Tucci I love Stanley T. Oh GPC so I said yes a pan Get skillet and I gotta by the way I made I made a big skillet cookie in that last night. Skooky.
Starting point is 00:47:46 And you sent me a picture. It looked fucking delicious. It made me go like, oh my god, it looked so good. How do you make a skillet cookie? So it was also, it's basically you just make cookie dough and then put it into a skillet. But it was one of the things where I came up stairs and I was like, right, can we make a skillet cookie?
Starting point is 00:48:01 And we're like, let's go into the kitchen and see if we have all the stuff. And we did, we just had, it was like, Maraik, we make a skillet cookie and we're like, let's go into the kitchen and see if we have all the stuff. And we did, we just had, it was like, you know, flour, sugar, brown sugar, butter, vanilla, and egg, and you, in chocolate chips, and you just, go out with that dough up into a cookie dough. Also heat and time. And baking soda, I'm gonna get roasted in the comments
Starting point is 00:48:22 for not including the baking soda. Yes, and heat, he especially the groceries I have are cut up cucumber old pepper jack cheese and caramel koalas. That's the thing right now. But if you haven't all those ingredients. Does it be one of my famous pepper jack koala cookies? No, please I'm still finishing my first one from last year. Yeah, no We're just moving it around the plate with a fork. We're like it's so good. I just can't believe how long it's taking me
Starting point is 00:48:53 Don't forget to dunk them in powerade Do you put any do you have like cucumbers as a snack and if so do you put anything on them? That's special something I don't I don't have cucumbers as a snack. I won't go buy a cucumber. Cucumber's one of those vegetables that is just not super, it's accelerated me. It's not super interesting. I used to have cucumbers as a snack.
Starting point is 00:49:14 I chop them into little rounds, but ever since I discovered a himmica, I just grab himmica instead of cucumber. It's a more crunchy, delicious snack. Himmica is like a gin correct. Yeah, I just drink gin instead of My madman diet. I buy mini cucumbers and I think this might be regional because people are pretty horrified when I tell me this I don't know if you many good but
Starting point is 00:49:43 Sometimes I'll just cut them up and then I'll put a tiny bit of like pink sea salt on them And that'll be that and that's normal. That's fine. That's weird But I don't want to Massachusetts does this but you do apple cider vinegar. You put that on them Erie you can making pickles. Yeah, kind of though, but it's so good You're micro dosing pickles If you ever are craving like salt and vinegar chips, eat pickles. You and you don't have them, obviously. Yeah, that's your favorite.
Starting point is 00:50:12 I was ready for you to finish the part where you were like, if you ever craving salt and vinegar chips, get them. Just eat those instead. If you need a little bit of that in your day and you have cucumbers and apple cider vinegar in your house, it scratches the same part of my brain and it's delicious. But everyone's like, ooh, you can't eat apples. Ooh, what do you, ooh? That sounds fine to me, Aaron.
Starting point is 00:50:30 I don't, it doesn't sound like it's like, I think I've only ever used apple cider vinegar to like kill fruit flies, but it still sounds like, it still sounds like something that you can do. Hey. Hey. Come on. Come on. It's not like go. He's on the go.
Starting point is 00:50:45 He's on the go. It's on the go. Cartoon extra in Simpsons. Yeah. Bart stole my card. I don't know. Two thieves returned the new air conditioner to the church where they had taken it. Even after the church leaders publicly announced that the thieves could keep the air conditioner
Starting point is 00:51:02 due to the severe heat. The wording of the forgiveness frightened a thieves so much that they felt they had to bring it back. What was the wording? Something about like, it's something about like, because these are priests, right? From a church, it's like burning in hell or something like that. Ooh, you were hot, hot, hot, hot. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:22 It's, it's like, because they said that they could keep it, but the thieves brought it back. So they said something about like, you're burning, you won't burn. You won't burn in hell for this or something like that. Very, very close. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:41 Do you want, I would give it to you because you're so close, but we just said the riddle So let's buy a little more time. Okay, so it's like keep keep the air conditioner because they said that they can keep it So they said keep the AC we promise you won't burn in hell Wink wink wink Hell is hot uh-huh But this AC's not
Starting point is 00:52:03 So have a summer. This is a save by the bell, Lindmerick. Yeah, you won't burn in hell. You're both pretty much dead on the priest. Their public announcement that the thieves could keep the air conditioner went as such. Please keep the air conditioner you stole from our church because it will be very hot
Starting point is 00:52:19 where you are going. Wow. That's some passive aggressive shit that I think some priest would pull. We're gonna see a scene. So, Aaron and Adel, you are two priests doing your weekly public proclamation. So, anyone that is wronged you or the church
Starting point is 00:52:34 or whatever every week you just come out in front of the church and you have this open, open airing of your grievances. So, you are two priests doing that in front of a crowd All right, everybody settle down Jim sit down Jim sit down please. Okay. We have some announcements to make first things first Somebody farted in the 11 o'clock mass and it was terrible 11 o'clock gas Thank you
Starting point is 00:53:04 Thank you. Okay, let me cross that off. That was breathing in. I'm breathing in. I'm breathing in. I'm breathing in. I'm breathing in. I'm breathing in. I'm breathing in. I'm breathing in. I'm breathing in. I'm breathing in. I'm breathing in.
Starting point is 00:53:12 I'm breathing in. I'm breathing in. I'm breathing in. I'm breathing in. I'm breathing in. I'm breathing in. I'm breathing in. I'm breathing in.
Starting point is 00:53:20 I'm breathing in. I'm breathing in. I'm breathing in. I'm breathing in. I'm breathing in. I'm breathing in. I'm breathing in. I'm proud of you my boy. Thanks. Thank you. What else do we have here? Oh? If what are the signs in the parking lot says priests only it means priests only Yeah, if you What are you doing oh?
Starting point is 00:53:42 So have heartedly agree with me. I'm sorry. I thought the science in Prius only. I'll move it. I'm so sorry. That's good. Get that guy out of here. Get that guy out of here. Hey, Prius only! Shit. No, the crowd, the crowd's got on.
Starting point is 00:53:58 They love this guy. That was a problem. You told me to... I know I was trying to make a joke about it like I forgot joke. Okay. Okay. Go We are currently trying we're still looking for donations to replace our organ in the church. No one's donated yet Yeah, we don't have any organ donors. I Guess that's a pretty serious. Uh, Claire. I'm sorry about your heart. I'm sorry about your recent heart issue play it passed away Oh, Claire's sister is here I guess that's a pretty serious... Claire, I'm sorry about your heart. I'm sorry about your recent heart issue.
Starting point is 00:54:25 Claire passed away. Oh, Claire's sister is here. She passed away. She passed gas away. Was that her part in recent interest? Earlier? She recently passed. Oh, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:54:39 Can I ask something? Yes. Why was my compatriot here and I not asked to present over the funeral? They say they say they think a priest murdered her. So yeah. That's another event. We gotta be in charge of every funeral, even if we are on the suspect list. Yes, and we would love if people stopped blaming us on all the town devs.
Starting point is 00:55:05 Please. Another thing, I can already hear the complaints from Aaron's mom that this scene is sacrilegious. We checked, actually, and it's not. It's not. It's okay to make fun of priests, and if they can't, if they don't have a sense of humor, then they're the problem.
Starting point is 00:55:19 Yeah, just so everyone's clear, I don't know that it's been explicitly said, these are both male priests. So we don't want to get a bunch of emails about how we had a woman play a priest. Yeah, we get it They can't be priests and it's good that way, right? It's that's for the best. Hey Clark Do you mind if I launch into my type 5? Yeah, go for it go for it go for it Some other points of business here Rectory damn near kiltery
Starting point is 00:55:45 of business here, rectory, damn near kilterry. Now the crowd starts to disperse people. People are shuffling. I don't know why you just didn't go through the next- I talked to God today, directly! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, what are you doing? What have you said? You should laugh at our jokes. And don't fart in
Starting point is 00:56:08 And now communion Body of Christ thank you Jesus. No, you have to say yes, please Body of Christ. Yes, please There you go body of Christ. Yes, please. Thank you, Jesus. Body by Christ. Yes, please. Thank you, Jesus. Body by Christ. Yes. What is going on down here? Oh, Alan, Alan up on the roof. Hey. I'm trying to sleep on the room. If I was a Christian, I'd be coming to mass every Sunday. See.
Starting point is 00:56:47 If I were a Christian, there's a virgin as weird as Saturday. What? Everybody can have a different Sabbath as a treat. We all deserve a day of rest. That's so nice. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. Ah, should we do a voicemail? What was that there? Nothing.
Starting point is 00:57:11 Nothing's here. No, come to the front of the class. What did you say? What's your big announcement? I brought my turtles to class and it died in my backpack. Again. I also think we should do a voicemail maybe. Well, well, well.
Starting point is 00:57:26 Clashed would we like a voicemail? Yeah, this whole class stinks of dead turtles. So anything that we can do about that would be priority. Numerous, who know? Nope. Shut the windows, we're gonna listen to a voicemail. KC, janitor KC whenever you're ready. message after the beef for out of the air and in jpc so just leave a message after the beef
Starting point is 00:58:11 on one day to five break hey this is Danny, I've been listening to you guys since the first episode you guys make work Wednesdays work happen So I was telling my friend about this blog last the other day and he said, oh, you must be so smart for listening to a riddle like all day. Let's keep you sharp. And I can come out of this doing a pretty shitty monkey-bone compression. But my question is, this guy is very cute and handsome. How do I convey myself as a witty and cunning and all these productive traits?
Starting point is 00:58:52 Any input would be appreciated. Have a great one, guys. Wow. Bad news, you blew it. You should not have said you listened to our show. There's no coming back from that. We're so sorry, but you did blow it. Yeah. I do like, here's what I'll say about Danny's voicemail. One day I think you so much are leaving the voicemail. I do like that they said something about making Wednesdays relevant again or something. I think that should be our new slogan. I think it should be like, hey, Ritter Rittle, Wednesdays are back.
Starting point is 00:59:25 Put, hey, Wednesdays are back. Wednesdays are back. Wednesdays are semi-bearable again, just kidding everyday sucks. Mission or Wednesdays, that's something big banner drops in the mission or Wednesdays. We have literally never accomplished anything with the three of us.
Starting point is 00:59:40 So I can't think of three people who deserve an accomplishment banner less than us. George W. Bush. Types three. I I can't think of three people who deserve an accomplishment, but nonetheless, then us George, that be wish. Why? I think Danny came to the right place because Danny is asking a question about yes, seduction. Yeah, what are some seductive tactics that they can use on this, frankly, hunky, so the guy in their life. Yes. And I think that I mean, mean we're all we're all pretty good But pretty I mean our track record speak for ourselves. We're all in relationship
Starting point is 01:00:12 Ripping with sex appeal that's my brand My track record is I ran a 400 in a minute 17 That's a bit wow, that's really fast. Thank you So Danny you want to be more, you see more cunning and more appealing or something? Here's what I'll say. Here's what I'll say. Never hurts to hold a candle anywhere you go. I think at any time I'm out and about and I see someone holding a candle, they are suddenly mysterious. They're sudden. Unless you have the features of a Victorian ghost like me in which case it tips and it's bad.
Starting point is 01:00:46 Yeah, or if you have the angular bone face of an Ikebod crane, then leave the candles at home because you're gonna cast shadows everywhere. People are gonna see the shape of your face, which is not ideal. But if you're not, if you don't look like Ikebod crane, carry a candle wherever you go. It can be one of those old,
Starting point is 01:01:03 tiny Charles Dickens type candles with the metal handle. It can be almost like a, what do they call that with, when there's some sort of like a tragedy and you hold the candle and that has the little paper cardboard. Ice. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:20 Whatever those are called. Whatever those are called, sure. You can just raw stick it where you're just holding a candle letting the wax fall into your hand. That's kind of hot to be like. Do you do not raw stick it? Raw stick it, daddy. That's kind of hot to see someone who's like, holy shit,
Starting point is 01:01:32 the wax is just burning their hand and they're holding it. So that's kind of fucking sexy. What do you do think? What kind of... I think the candle idea, the candle idea is great. It's dangerous, it candle idea is great. It's dangerous, it's sense of urgency. We mentioned earlier on the podcast
Starting point is 01:01:49 that when Mariah and I met, we were actually put on a business trip together and that's kind of where our friendship sparked into something more. And I think that what you have to do to Annie is you have to create that situation for yourself. Now, I've never said this before, but the only reason that Mariah and I were on that business trip
Starting point is 01:02:09 to begin with is because I had been in my boss's office like the day before, and I held a picture of his kids that he kept on the desk, and I said, these are really nice kids. Mariah goes on the business trip with me, or maybe we never see these kids again. And I really put the fear of God into him, and I made it happen.
Starting point is 01:02:24 I made it happen for myself. So you need to make it happen for you, Danny. So stage of kidnapping. That's a really great close quarters way for YouTube to bond. Some sort of hostage situation, a kidnapping, maybe a bomb threat in your car. Be like, let's go into my car and listen to a CD. And then a bomb threat, you have to stay in there.
Starting point is 01:02:43 You see, fuck. Can Aaron and I see you in our office, or shared in our office. Yeah, sure. Sure, absolutely. Hey, Aaron and I are worries that you are creating a whole line of John Wicks. Is this fries and briskett and Lew in a photo? This is a really nice photo.
Starting point is 01:02:56 It would be a shame if I'd make these two photos kiss, huh? No, no, no, no. Dogs, kiss and cats. No, that's a matter of. I got so small in this office. It's so hot in here. I'm so claustrophobic. Everybody out of Bridea. Everybody out of Bridea.
Starting point is 01:03:07 It stinks like dead turtle in here. Everybody think the day. What do you think? What do you think the day? I got some advice. Lie. From New York, it's Saturday. So, Danny, you're gonna go, and then they're gonna go,
Starting point is 01:03:21 hey, what's wrong? And you go, man, I'm like embarrassed, but I made it to the final round of Jeopardy callbacks. And they said, I was too hot to be on screen. Are they, but like, just say that you made it to the final round of the smart person thing. And then they go like, oh my God, you're so smart. Are you just go like, oh man, all my,
Starting point is 01:03:43 I will not one bar trivia too much. They won't let me go back. Or national geographic rejected my article. I write smart articles as my hobby to unwind, but they didn't want this one. See, there's something that's a lie. Danny, take lie. Lie, just lie. Oh, Aaron, this is reiterating the fact that you are maybe one of the worst liars I've ever met. No, me, why? Give me one example. Ha, ha, ha, ha. I think that there's probably something.
Starting point is 01:04:19 So, you know, lie about a candle and a husband situation and then use all of our advice. Yeah. And Danny Danny keep us updated. Yeah give us a call back Danny we want to do it. No no no no. Get dresser get out of here. I'm sorry. Dresser do you have anything you would like to plug? Um yes.
Starting point is 01:04:42 No not her. Get her out of here. I was on gossip kings, the podcast. I think that should be coming out soon. It might be out this week. I had the best time. I got to record in person. And I'm a big fan of that show. And they are the best time that's 60 here. They're so good. But they are as lovely and charming together in a room as I wished they would be and I'm so grateful that I got to go on a show and talk about gossip girl for an hour and a half. It was really fun. I'm unfamiliar with this podcast. Who are the hosts?
Starting point is 01:05:14 Carl Tar and Lamar Litz. Oh nice. And they are it's a TV review podcast and so they're doing like a rewatch of gospel girl. Lamar had listened, or watched it before and Carl's seeing it with fresh eyes. And they go episode by episode. And it's a blast. Addle anything to plug. I do have something to plug. And I believe it's still relevant when this comes out in early October. I will be back in New York City, back at the Bell House, even for a live show with Hello for the Magic Tabern, Friday, October 14th,
Starting point is 01:05:50 come see myself, Matt Young, and Arnie Neekamp playing Arnie Neekamp and Usador respectively. And come see us, we're gonna have a show with some fun guests and some surprises and we'll be in costume. I mean our characters will be in costume. Weak have to not break the law. No, you have to go. It takes Matt Young so long to get in that costume. It's so much work.
Starting point is 01:06:14 Please don't make them do that for no one. If for so people know what Aaron's talking about. If you've never seen it in Magic Tavern live show before, Matt Young goes in costume as Arnie and then Arnie plays Yucidor and they do that only for the live shows and it takes Matt hours to get the hours. PINKPOLO. But we'll be at the bellhouse you can go to helloforthemagictavern.com for tickets in information or go to the bellhouse website and I'm excited to be back there. That space was so fucking cool and I feel like the energy from the crowd in New York was unlike any live show energy fans. So I'm very happy. I want to go. I'll be there. Aaron come.
Starting point is 01:06:51 Come play Momo. Too late. It's too late. I won't get any attention if I just go now. Clearly lying. JBC was right. It's very obvious what you're like. Speaking of the bellhouse, if you missed our New York show, both our bellhouse show and our DC show are going to be on our Patreon this weekend. So nice. So you can check those out this weekend. I, of course, am going to seed my plug time to read a five star review. If you'd like to get your review feature in a future episode of Hey, RunaRunaRunaRunaRuna,
Starting point is 01:07:21 just go to Apple iTunes and leave us a five star review. This one comes from Janeway Captain. episode of Hey, RunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRunaRuna I guess listen to Nioska and I actually had a new thing I wanted to do and I'm gonna read a five guys review um so this is from Lauren G. This is from a five guys Where is this located? This is at 3 3 3 15 2 e avenue in Lincolnwood, Ellen Wow Personally, I took this L personal it had been quite a few years since my return to five guys I remember it being delectably delicious. Sadly, it wasn't as good as I remember. So that is our five guys review for the week.
Starting point is 01:08:12 Aaron. And I'm gonna read a five below review, which I really feel. I absolutely love this store and the occasional rare anime goods or pop culture items that get brought in. Thank you. That's from Floor Leaf Clover. Her five-low. Okay, pretty lucky. Aaron, do you know what happens to be the luckiest planet that also has a temperature or five below?
Starting point is 01:08:35 It's not Earth. It's Jupiter. Bye forever. Created by Apple Revive Sorry, Erin G And John Patrick Cullen Casey Tony to the editing Have any parents in the middle of the day? Fogo created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Naboris The moment of my stupidity or hate, we're the victims No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, two episodes, our New York City and our Washington DC live show on the Patreon this weekend. You can listen to that plus our entire Batcadilog by going to patreon.com such as Hey, Red
Starting point is 01:09:28 Over and Jordan, the clue crew for $5 a month or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus, you get those Ed free episodes. See you there! podcast.

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