Hey Riddle Riddle - #221: Planchette Poltergeist w/ Janet Varney

Episode Date: October 12, 2022

We have our 4th host back and we take an appropriate amount of time before introducing her! Then we make her describe the weirdest thing she's ever eaten and some childhood trauma, so we are sure she'...s going to want to come back soon. All that and we've got a new take on a beloved children's classic, another new take on a beloved children's classic, a digital discussion and a neighborly game of telephone. Also, this episode may contain one of the most frightening examples of group mind that we've ever encountered, so: be warned. And have a great Wednesday!  Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Special Guest: Janet Varney Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to mail us something?  Hey Riddle Riddle  6351 W Montrose Ave #267 Chicago, IL, 60634 Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531) Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a head gum podcast. And we're gonna play Weeji board. The what? We're gonna play Weeji board. Now I heard that put our hands on the what Plan chat This nerd knows all the part is to a we G board Kate plan shed. Yeah, keep plan shed, you know, glad drill Yeah, I know it is she's not here man. What?
Starting point is 00:00:59 She ain't here. She ain't playing this game. Where she go damn it? She here she playing this game where she go damn it Gpc I'm bad news. I'd Google it and he's right. It's called a plan chat. Guess how it's The room is the spirits of the room. Please tell us where is Kate plan chat Oh, it's moving it's moving what's it say what's it say and oh? Huh are are W a Why I Are are W A Why?
Starting point is 00:01:30 What is me? Norway Norway. It was all those Norway. Wait, so it's either in Austria And say no way or it she's in Norway. Honestly, I was trying to make it say north. I don't really understand what we're doing with the game. But so I hit in to make it say North. I don't really understand what we're doing with the game But so I hit N-O-R that was all me the rest of it. Oh wait it's still going I
Starting point is 00:01:51 S B E S T Norway is the best Oh, wait, it's still going P L
Starting point is 00:02:15 A N C A Oh wait, it's still going. P-L-A-N-C-H-E-T-E-E. Plan Chet! It spelled its own name! Norway is the best planchet. Uh, spirits of the room. Are you fucking with us? I, again, in OR was me. I did that. And then the rest I have no concern. Oh, so it is way is the best plan, chat. What is the best plan, chat? Huh. Oh, wait, wait, wait, ADAL space, RIFI.
Starting point is 00:02:45 What does it mean? I'm at a reply Wait, it's moving it's moving again J P C SU K S okay Aaron that was me That I'm GPC sucks P L a Sweetie and with this is always cake legit Oh wait, it's still going JV Well, I'm JV with the fucker JV mean it's just so you didn't want to spell the whole name, huh?
Starting point is 00:03:25 Oh, it's, right, it's really hovering around four, four, like, oh, four TH, fourth, H-O-S-T. I'll be brave, I'll give it a shot. J-A-N-E-T-V-A-R-N-E-Y. Plansha! We made you wait too long. You made me last. You've been all of this.
Starting point is 00:03:47 I was in Norway and all of a sudden I felt like an atomic shift and then all of a sudden I was sitting in front of my computer recording with you, so well done. Wow. Were you in the middle of something? I'm just asking because of your specific wardrobe. Oh, was I out saving trash animals? Wow. Wow, we call them Norwegians. I'm so sorry.
Starting point is 00:04:10 I'm so sorry. Apologists, all of our Norwegians are serious. I wasn't out saving trash animals. I was, and this needs to stay between us. Okay, of course. But Norway has the best planchets. So I usually head over there, grab a best planchets. Oh, yeah. So I usually head over there, grab a few planchets.
Starting point is 00:04:28 Yeah. I try not to eat them all on the plane. And I forget, planchets are like weird bananas. No planchets bred with diced tomatoes. Bread with zucchinis. Yeah. It's because of the geosurf. They say courgett for zucchini.
Starting point is 00:04:42 Yeah. So I'll say it. It's a planchet. Where the heck have you been? We missed you. You left us here all by ourselves. What the f***? We've been bored. Listen, I've already given out a hard time about the fact that
Starting point is 00:04:55 after I sung the praises of Hay Relationship Relationship, you flaunted a new episode without me in it. We had recorded a report. I tried to in it. We had record it before. I tried to tell her. I tried to tell her. Believe you, Aaron.
Starting point is 00:05:10 She broke all my toes. She broke all my toes. I broke all of his toes. Yeah, that is going to come after me in a way. What did you think was going to happen with that? I don't know. I thought it was a boo, we were doing a bit. It was fun.
Starting point is 00:05:28 And I don't know if you wanna do this while you're on the show, but if you could at some point in this episode, mention how you'd really love to be involved in one of our hunts, Christian Anderson, Patreon episodes. We've also already recorded one of those. So by all means, it is a dream. It is a dream. I is a dream. It is a dream. I swear it right now, the next table relationship, I'm announcing
Starting point is 00:05:50 it now will have a fourth relationship expert host that will be there. The next one that comes around is like going to be. You don't know yet. A huge round of auditions, but you are number one choice. Janet, can we get a clean audio take
Starting point is 00:06:05 that we can put in front of every single Patreon episode right now that's just you saying, wish I was in this. Yeah. Yeah. Wish I was in this. Perfect. Casey, C.O.P.
Starting point is 00:06:17 Casey, C.O.P. See what I did, I put a different emphasis. I put emphasis on it, different word. It was, I read it, I did a little bit of a different read. I've never given actor, never given actor a line reading. I've learned my lesson. I've never given actor, never given actor. Can I ask a quick question? This is old business.
Starting point is 00:06:33 So is this a good time in the meeting of this episode? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. I did not ask for the cool aid man. He seems to have shown up anyway. You're so potential business. I know.
Starting point is 00:06:47 This is the old business. This is the old business. Cool Aid man, so you're Kaiju? Yeah. I wanted to feel like I was, I don't think I've done improv. Well, I did one, I did an episode of the other podcast, which will not be named, otherwise it was Hello from Magic Tavern. Beyond that, I feel like I'm very improv rusty, so I was like, I'll listen to one of the other podcast, which will not be named, otherwise it was, Hello from Magic Tavern. Beyond that, I feel like I'm very improv rusty.
Starting point is 00:07:07 So I was like, I'll listen to one of the latest Hey Rettles Riddles, it'll get me in the mood, get me in the zone. So I listened to the Paul Rettles episode. I'll think God. One of our best improv episodes. Which was great. There was a story that you told early in the show, Adol, in which you revealed that you were eating something that I
Starting point is 00:07:28 assumed other people would have questions about. But you all flew right past it as if it was no big deal. And so I need to ask just in case there were other listeners who kind of did like a bra, like a chicken, like a shocked chicken, when I heard it. And then no one said anything. Is that how pizza normal? So, Probeza? No, and so that's why.
Starting point is 00:07:50 No one asked about So, Probeza? Here's my thing, it's like, you know how JPC has like a problem with authority? Mm-hmm, like that's pretty clear. And like that's defining of his personality. Sure. Part of my personality is defined by like, I have to chase novelty.
Starting point is 00:08:07 Like I have to. Well, yeah, I guess I mean. Anytime I, if there's 10 doors in front of me and one is like made out of like clown skin, I'm like, I gotta go that door. Like whatever's the weirdest thing I have to go towards. So anytime I go to a menu, it's like a restaurant I look at a menu
Starting point is 00:08:21 or whatever it is, I have to go with the weirdest fucking thing on there. And so I saw the Krossell Crossell Pizza and my brain said, what is this? And my stomach said, please, no thank you. But then Arnie was like, I'll eat that with you because he's a very supportive tall man. Great.
Starting point is 00:08:39 And we both were violently ill. That's the sickest I've ever been in my life. So. This is supposed to have like the good probiotics. Like, I feel like I eat a fair amount of soccer. I would never put it on a pizza. And then just to clarify. So JPC and Aaron didn't ask about that
Starting point is 00:08:51 because that's just part of the lexicon of like adult eating weird things. And it's like, don't even ask. Let me tell you something about adult. I actually, I've stopped asking a single follow up question about his eating habits after I found out he bites into a Kit Kat without breaking it, he just bites into it. Yeah, just right into it. That's not cool.
Starting point is 00:09:10 And so I go, you and food, none of my business. I've also heard that story a bunch of times. Uh, you've heard the story. That also checks out. The first time I heard that story, I was like, sourcrap pizza. But the more I hear the story, the more I'm like, man, I guess I would have been a dead stop on the Sourcrap pizza. That's what really did me.
Starting point is 00:09:28 And what's wild is that there are listeners from I think Des Moines, is that what you use? Des Moines, yeah. They who correctly guessed the name of the restaurant. They were like, as soon as I heard it, I knew it had to be this place. And I was like, wow, good on you. That speaks well of Des Moines
Starting point is 00:09:40 that there isn't more than one place that bothers to make some. So you would hope they would know exactly where that came from. Well, I think a lot of places make it of demoing that there isn't more than one place that bothers to make some. You would hope they would know exactly where that came from. Well I think a lot of places make it only one place makes it bad. I will maybe blow everyone's minds and say two days later, Ernie and I split from a different pizza place, a crab rangoon pizza. Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:10:00 So we did not learn our lesson. No, I mean, he pretty immediately didn't learn it. Oh man, that's a nightmare. I will say though, you make a really good point. I do think that we need to beat just in general dead stopping Adelmore. We've been letting him get away with too much for too long. Hi Adelmore.
Starting point is 00:10:20 You're really lazy. Does the crab ring go to the crowd? Is the crab ring pizza just crab ring goons on top or is a crab ring in pizza? Are there other accoutrements? It was so it wasn't just crab ring goons plop down on it because that would be anyone could fucking do that.
Starting point is 00:10:38 Jamie Oliver does not make what they did was it's like the. I don't think the crust was like Ren goon. It wasn't like fried, whatever like fried whatever that is not feel like whatever that is but it was basically the elements were it was deconstructed on top of it so instead of got it tomato sauce it was the sort of crab dip spread got it got it and then strips and then strips of the the covering were kind of placed all over we just that we look over at his word of the day
Starting point is 00:11:06 calendar that says a kuturman on it and he's just nodding and smiling. You did it, buddy. Turn that page. It's gonna stay plump shit. You're meant to say Armandesante. In my mind, you were like at a pizza place and you're like, I like sausage
Starting point is 00:11:22 and someone's like, green peppers goes well with that. I'm like, great, doesn't want to add anything and you're like, can we add some crab bread goons on top of the air? I see it's a specialty topping so it adds 75 cents but I think it's worth it. Also, this adds a layer to one of our favorite moments from the show which is meat calling a pizza place and then you saying, baby, baby, crab bread goon. And the joke is that they don't have crab crab bread goon but I guess you meant it. You wanted crabbrangoon on your pizza. Wow. Just to come experience. Janet, can you think of the weirdest thing you've ever eaten? You're from Arizona. Does
Starting point is 00:11:54 Arizona have anything like they're known for? I mean, they have sonore like great sonore in Mexican food. So they that like, I don't, I mean, there's ways that we could launch into that make that particular type of Mexican food special, but I don't know. Very diplomatic about this. Right now. To do it, does anyone eat like the havelinas or havelinas of delicacy? You don't think you can eat the havelinas?
Starting point is 00:12:16 No. No, the thing that popped into my mind when you said that was that, and this is like pulling from like a, oh, well, if you ate at this place, of course. But I did have the total pleasure of having dinner at Noma in Copenhagen, which is like a famous place to eat. The world's most famous. And they had ants on a log, which was like, I feel like it was like raw me.
Starting point is 00:12:41 Someone that will have been there and it was like, you're getting this told they're wrong, this memory is distorted Janet. But what I do know is that the ants were actual ants and they were definitely on, and there were other components of it that made it seem like something that I would get dared to eat, that I would never eat.
Starting point is 00:12:58 But because I was at Noma and I was surrounded by people saying like this is the most extraordinary restaurant in the world, I ate it and it wasn't bad. But it wasn't great. Yeah. Sisters of your parents or bugs, please clarify quickly. Yeah. Yeah, you said answer then you said aunts.
Starting point is 00:13:18 Wait, I said aunts. No. I do think it's funny when like really, really expensive cuisine goes all the way around to the other end where you're like I was it and it's like I paid $600 I gotta be honest I think I ate three courses of bark Yeah, I don't know if they were being made specifically as a bit or yeah, I ate a wasp in a zip lock bag I was gonna say I ate a wasp in a zipper which also seemed like it made sense that sounds I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I was like, can I have a drink of water? And you really clenched the back of my neck and said, no, you have to dry swallow these pennies for a house cleanser.
Starting point is 00:14:08 Janet, it almost sounds like you were, like, if you weren't as old as you are, which is an adult, it almost sounds like you were being bullied on a playground and you like disassociated for a moment, where you're like, this is no ma, this is no ma, this is no ma. You know what? I'm glad that you said that, because I will say the last time I've had an intimate encounter with the red ants that were on
Starting point is 00:14:28 those quote unquote was chip call well put ants down my pants and first grade and they stung me but and all well the real estate agent chip call I. I'm sorry. Chip call well, the archaeologist. He's now an archaeologist. That little motherfucker prudence down my pants. Oh, that guy. Oh, wait, Janet, he was an archaeologist. Yesterday, he was, and I'm reading this here, gunned down. So, it seems like revenge is a dissonance.
Starting point is 00:15:03 Best served cold. Good five ass. I could have timed the story out better. If I thought about it, I would have put a little space between me and the rest. It says here he was killed by a collective of Uncle's wives. So the aunts finally caught up to chill. Yeah, the uncle's wives opened for the disembrace when you went to that show. They certainly did.
Starting point is 00:15:23 Uncle's go down. Your wives on a log. Man, anyway, I'm gonna go down. I'm gonna go down. I'm gonna go down. I'm gonna go down. I'm gonna go down. I'm gonna go down. I'm gonna go down. I'm gonna go down.
Starting point is 00:15:31 I'm gonna go down. I'm gonna go down. I'm gonna go down. I'm gonna go down. I'm gonna go down. I'm gonna go down. I'm gonna go down. I'm gonna go down.
Starting point is 00:15:39 I'm gonna go down. I'm gonna go down. I'm gonna go down. I'm gonna go down. I'm gonna go down. I'm gonna go down. I'm gonna go down. I'm gonna go down. I'm gonna go down. I'm gonna go down. up five guesses for how they taste. Yes, I would think they would be like spicy. Well, red ants here. Yeah, I mean, they look zingy,
Starting point is 00:15:48 but I would say they were more sour. Hmm. Wow. I will, I'll have to eat one. No, that's the whole point. I will have to eat one. No. Ha.
Starting point is 00:15:58 Ha. Adel, did you want to see us again? I'm over it. Oh, thank God. Once I found out that guy was gunned down, I think Justice has been served. All we have to do to get out of the scenes is talk our way out of the... Hey, look, if we're going to see some scenes, why don't we see another favorite feature on this podcast? A riddle. We don't like the scenes.
Starting point is 00:16:22 Let's just go into plugs. We're going to go right to plugs. No, we're going to do a riddle. I think that this will be fun. Now, we have previously on the show, I've been working our way through some of these farmers, Almanac riddles, and we have a few more for you today.
Starting point is 00:16:37 As is my want, I will give you the year. So this is a farmers Almanac riddle from 1946. And as per anytime, Janet, our fourth host guests, Janet, you will have five minutes before Aaron and I will attempt an answer where you can try and work it out yourself. Yes. Great.
Starting point is 00:16:55 I'd love to do the alpha. Lozzy, there was a minute to lick my finger and hold it into the air because I feel somehow that that's what farmers in 1946 did. Like there's some important information gathering going on. That was their only solution to anything. They're like, let's see. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:09 My wife's mad at me. Yes, the war's over. Wind feels like the war's over. Yeah. Okay, 1946. Now we've all been transported mentally, so we're ready. We're in a nail desert all. I got my wasp in a zippa.
Starting point is 00:17:24 Sorry, I'm just getting into character. Wellnale the turtle. I got my wasp in a zippa, sorry, I guess. Getting into character. Well, back too far, that's the 20s. Oops. I am not a flesh and blood. Yet have I mini a bone? No limbs except one leg and can't stand on that alone. My friends are mini and dwell in all lands of the human race, but they poke my poor nose
Starting point is 00:17:44 into the mud and shame but they poke my poor nose into the mud and shamefully spatter my face. Trust me, I'm sorry, thrust me into each other's ribs, stick me in gutter and rut. Is this like, never? Never smut to bat him. I have never a window and never a door, yet I buy myself and shut.
Starting point is 00:18:04 Yeah, I'm sorry, this is this is this is farmers playboy Riddles it was so good I have so basically I have no bones, but I do have one No, I'm not a flesh and blood yet. I have many a bone Many a bone So typically that would be JPC during the ads Who has a phone to pick with someone? Yes, but then I said something about a foot, but it doesn't stand on its own and then something and then something about you
Starting point is 00:18:43 Splatter me with mud Yeah, you show my it doesn't stand on its own. And then something about you splatter me with mud, you show my nose. I like it. Is it something that's a life like a plant or an animal? It was like a rake or a hoe. It is not something that is alive. It is not something that is alive here.
Starting point is 00:18:55 It's a great guess. Yes, you. And we shove its nose into the ground, right? Is that what I heard? I think you're training a puppy. I know a puppy no in all ends of the human race but I'm sorry I that's the end of it another thought but they poke my poor nose into the mud and shamefully spatter my face yeah and it has bones all I can think of is it yet I have many a bone is, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Starting point is 00:19:25 It's like a shovel, it's got like a shovel. It's got like a shovel, y'all, in front of his home, we're not know wrong. Is it not like a shovel? Is it some sort of farm equipment? Is it not really a farm equipment, Aaron, no, it's not really a shovel. But is it a tool or some kind?
Starting point is 00:19:37 I would describe this as a tool. I think if you, I think survey that 100 people, you know, top answer is gonna be tool. A rake. Maynard Keenan? It's not a rake. It's not Maynard Keenan's.
Starting point is 00:19:49 Oh, bones, that's a... No, it's not a rake or a hoe. You shudder guys. You shudder guys. This is not a farm implement. And I would consider rake and hoe to be like farm implement. Okay. The next time you're at rake and hoe,
Starting point is 00:20:02 you have to try the matriotic. I, here's what I'll say. That doesn't sound weird, but it's so loud. It's so loud. Okay, next time you're at Rick and Ho, you have to try the matriotic. I So I will say that I think my guess is that each one of you probably has one of these in our house in our hair Sure A power washer I think I move okay, Janet by the way, I have your address, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably,
Starting point is 00:20:27 I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably,
Starting point is 00:20:37 I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that's probably, I think that have four. What? And I know this for a fact one in my car. That has come in handy.
Starting point is 00:20:46 Victoria is I'm ready for this. Wait, now everyone knows what we have in our cars. I know the nose of my toothbrush, which by the way is not a thing, into the dirt. What? You have to rub your toothbrush into the dirt if it's done something wrong.
Starting point is 00:20:59 That's true. How do you know it can get your mouth clean if it can't get your mouth dirty first? All right, here we go. One more time. I am not a flesh and blood. Yet I have many a bone. No limbs except one leg and can't stand on that alone. My friends are many and dwell in all lands of the human race, but they poke my pornoes into the mud and shamefully spatter my face. Thrust me into each other's ribs, stick me in gutter and rut. I have never a window and never a door, yet I myself am shut.
Starting point is 00:21:27 I think this is a very good, real, I will say. I'm back, broom. What you have three, you have five of these in your house, is it books? I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't. It's come in handy when I need to look smart when I'm driving. Absolutely, good.
Starting point is 00:21:42 When I drive, I just hold up with two hands a copy of Infinite Jeff. I'm ready to take, Clark. When I drive, I just hold up with two hands a copy of Infinite Jet. Reveal the dictionary on the highway, looking smoke. Officer, I wasn't speeding unless you mean speed reading, of course, but you're ongoing to you, Joe. Okay. Many a bone. I feel like if we just isolate one part of this,
Starting point is 00:21:59 we're being overwhelmed by the trees. Nope, we're being overwhelmed by the forest. We need to see each individual tree. Is it a tree? Cool, these trees. I have five trees in my house. My house is fucked. Is it skeletons in your closet?
Starting point is 00:22:13 Oh, I always shut. No, it's not skeletons in my closet. A hammer. Is it closets? No, I'm just looking into a closet. I don't want. Yeah. I think, remember, this is like a tool.
Starting point is 00:22:23 I think this thing is very useful. This is very useful, but it's also, in my opinion, one of the most forgotten things. You probably have owned a bunch of these in your life and lost just as many as you've owned. I have the best follow up question. This is going to be such a good hint. I feel like based on Janet's reaction So if there was sort of a brave little toaster-esque movie made about this object JBC. What would its voice sound like?
Starting point is 00:22:53 I love this question Honestly, if I had to pick a voice for this object to sound like it would be like a like a like a An Englishman who is like seen enough. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, All I can say, all I can say, get into voice acting now so that would have you the Pixar relemoving. Did I say the word umbrella accidentally? I'm so honored. I'm so I don't do also want to see a scene but can I just say the collective IQ of this podcast which I guess is just one IQ now. Rose exponentially, each one of you, that me, not me. Each one of the three of you brought your own gift to that joke Aaron had you not had that question
Starting point is 00:23:50 JPC never would have done the voice and and JPC had you never done the voice at all you wouldn't have somehow Fucking immediately I don't know But I know my friends We got a play charades, yeah. We know we got to play charades. You guys are going to be so rich. I guess, somewhere.
Starting point is 00:24:10 Somehow. Somehow. I do want to see a scene. I'm so sorry. I just need to say, I've never been so overwhelmed that we are sick, like that there's something wrong with us. And also so much like, I love it here. I absolutely love the question I asked was useful.
Starting point is 00:24:27 That was a riddle of history and I was here to watch it and I feel very blessed right now. Hashtag. Shocking. Can't believe that worked. I'll never get over it. I'm sorry, Adam. I'm blown away.
Starting point is 00:24:38 Janet, you're like the person who first saw a tree fall in the woods. So we also needed you because otherwise. Yeah, otherwise. Well, you would have had Casey just to point that out. You would functionally fucking useless. He's playing Elden ring right now. There he is. Hi, Casey. I do want to see a scene. So this is a JPC based on the voice that
Starting point is 00:25:00 you did for the umbrella that let us the answer. This is going to be, it's not an audition, this is like on set, the actual first scene of a Mary Poppins spin-off where we follow her umbrella. So JPC, you are Mary Poppins umbrella and then Aaron and Janet, you are two young British children who are first meeting the umbrella as it falls from the sky to help them in their troubled times. Okay.
Starting point is 00:25:25 Awww, a draptor. Oh, I dropped her. She's gone! No children, children! Try your tears, try your tears, she's gone. I dropped her. Oh, God. Where's Mary Puff and she was supposed to be back in a minute to take us to a picnic
Starting point is 00:25:44 in the park You know what? Rubbish and we need someone to guide us through childhood. You know what? I don't know where she is But I can do I can do all that. I feel very confident in doing all that for you children You know what pretty soon. You're not even gonna remember the name Mary Puppets. Oh Mary, my favorite person! Where will she be back on Bella? Yeah, thanks for bringing her up! Uh, hey, wait, wait, who wants medicine, huh? Ooh, medicine! Exactly!
Starting point is 00:26:17 Medicine! With umbrella in charge, no more medicine, okay? We'll never have to have medicine ever again. Not no spoonful of sugar bullshit shit it's no medicine. Hazar but what about my sister Emily's tuberculosis? Surely she should take her medicine for that. Which one's Emily? I'm actually not sure.
Starting point is 00:26:38 Is it this one? Is it this one? Is she Emily? Paws on your little umbrella side. Excuse me. What's with all the hubbub outside? People are gathered around something in the street screaming. Oh, crying.
Starting point is 00:26:53 Well, that's why we read in here, uh, in real fast, because we don't- actually, don't matter. What is happening out in the streets? We're all just gonna get our story straight. We've been playing in here for hours. Hours, huh, Sammy? That's not true! No, it is true.
Starting point is 00:27:08 You're a child, you don't know time. You don't know! I'm very uncomfortable taking direction from someone who's clearly from a lower class than I am. Alright? Alright, good point. Here's what we'll do. Here's what we'll do.
Starting point is 00:27:21 We're gonna play a little game. Here's the game. Are you like games, right? Right? I think so. Anything valuable in the house, silver, jewelry, gold, cash, any sort of paper money. Let's all gather them. It's like all the hide and seek. We gather them. We time a little bindle to be all of them, brilla hook. And then I'll be up there at the chimney and we end up in chimney and we never end up in the little find me game. Mr. and brilla, um, can you turn it into a song?
Starting point is 00:27:50 We love it when Mary Poppins turns it into a song. Yes, it's wonderful. I would never hit a child. See. Two quick things. One, I just realized Mary Poppins is probably also a Kaiju just like the cool admin Oh, yeah, and two at some points whether it be a patreon or a main feed We we have to do a whole episode where all we do is we each think of an object and then we try and do the voice of what that object would sound like And then that and then everyone else guesses what we think
Starting point is 00:28:22 Janet will you come back for that one? I absolutely will if for no other reason than to once again bear witness on behalf All listeners everywhere. Yeah bear witness. So it's like the movie with Harrison Ford but a bear in the lead Right now quickly out of before you forget All right, all right, we have to do another one. Here, here. Here's your next riddle. This one is from Your Lord, my brother in Christ, 1958.
Starting point is 00:28:52 There's a thing that nothing is, and yet it has a name. To sometimes tall and sometimes short, it joins our walks, it joins our sport, in plays at every game. I know, but. Oh, Aaron knows it. So, like the letter A or something? K, whatever. Ooh, okay.
Starting point is 00:29:11 Is there a voice that goes away with the answer? Yeah, can we hear the voice? That's what I'm hoping for. Yeah, of course. So, this is the voice of the answer. It kind of, it sounds kind of like... It sounds kind of like... Yes.
Starting point is 00:29:23 Yes. Yes. I am the voice of the answer I'm that's that's okay is it the wind like we're getting a hint it's on our colleague air and it's me oh yeah it's not an echo but it's it's you're in the right path where I think with echo but it's not really an echo. It is a shadow. I knew it then. Did you like my hint? Was that helpful? Wait, what?
Starting point is 00:29:49 I'd like to see a scene. So you're saying that an audio shadow is an echo. I love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's going to do a sense. I don't want to learn physics. I don't want to learn physics. Right, that makes some sense.
Starting point is 00:30:02 It's like some semblance of sense. Yeah. I would like want to learn physics. Right, that makes some sense. It's like some semblance of sense. Yeah. I would like to say a thing. Janet, you are Peter Pan and Adel, you are Peter Pan's shadow, and you're like having a hard time keeping up. Like you don't have the same energy that Peter has. So your work is a lot for you.
Starting point is 00:30:19 Okay. Alrighty, second British accent of the day. Let's be off to see the last boys pal. Ta ta ta ta time out time out time out. Hey, do you always have to pose with your hands on your hip like do you always have to do a power pose? Yeah, that's called a Kimbo. It's a thing. A Kimbo? Listen, you don't age but I do. Okay. What? You know how you don't age, you know how you look like a little boy? Is this not something you know? Look here, look in the mirror over there.
Starting point is 00:30:50 Let's walk over to the mirror. Walk, walk to the mirror. Walking to the mirror with a little jump, little spring. No, no, no, skip over to the mirror. Oh my knees. Looking at a very attractive, impish, somewhat androgynous, loves green and pointy, toad shoes, yes, looking good, buddy. Yeah, that's you. Okay, that's not till the sweeten as a child, that's you.
Starting point is 00:31:14 And how old are we? You're like 438 years old? 438 years young? Whatever. Let me have you this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why is it harder for you? You my friend are just a sliver just a Sort of a visual echo if you will
Starting point is 00:31:33 Way anything I'm a sliver huh? Okay, okay. Hey, no, you're good. Hey turn off the lights. Will you? Peter do you want to come to the dance competition? That sunset? I love to! Can I compete in every possible category? Yes, of course! No, Peter, when is going to be the death of us? Oh, wonderful! Quickly, let's fly across London,
Starting point is 00:32:00 and my shadow will play so long it'll cover the entirety of the city! That's another thing. Hey, Peter,'s another thing when you fly I have to walk You don't see a shadow when you're flying do you that's because I have to walk wherever you're going You win some you lose some friend That's a fucking oh here comes that big dog Always pissing on me Peter. He's pissing on me Oh, he's pissing on me. Peter, he's pissing on me. I'm so sorry, friend. He's smiling.
Starting point is 00:32:28 On the upside, on the upside, buddy, isn't that the exact voice you imagined this dog would have? Same. To live it. Is the dog's name in Peter Pan Nana, or am I making that up? Yeah. Oh, I think you're right. I think also Does it wear a little hat? Like a little bottle down right? What am I imagining? Oh, Nana?
Starting point is 00:32:53 And it's got a big con. That's the dog from Peter Pan. Oh Hover a paw. Yes I think went that was the first time the name Wendy was ever created by that guy by Barry, Jay Barry. No, he was in the Bible for sure, right? Nana. You don't think?
Starting point is 00:33:19 Yeah, Wendy's is in the Bible. Never fresh, never frozen. Square happened, I guess. That's a is in the Bible. Never fresh number frozen. Square hamburgers. That's a character from the Bible. Idiot, Wendy. And then pretzel bun, pub, or back. No, I think he created the name Wendy. I don't think he existed before.
Starting point is 00:33:36 Is it like Wendlin? And then you would just say Wendy? No, I'm sorry, Janet. God, that would be Wendy. I'm sorry. You know what? It was my mistake. I'm sorry. You know what? My mistake. Spider-Gwindi in there. I apologize.
Starting point is 00:33:47 I apologize. Oh, I'm sorry. This little hat. Yeah, that's a little hat. Oh my. It was blue in my mind, right? Apparently, she also served drinks. This is a picture of her carrying a tray of what appears to be booze. I'm not sure.
Starting point is 00:34:01 I have a seepeter pan in a minute. Well, let's all watch right now. We're doing a quick break. And we come back. We'll have caught up with what happened in Peter Pan. We'll be right back. Hey, JPC, you know how I love he he looks sleep, I love that he looks mattress brand, best nights sleep of my life. I know not everyone is on board yet, so I secured award winning sleeper, Merrill Sleep. She's right behind that door, Merrill Sleep.
Starting point is 00:34:37 Wow, she won the Golden Pillow for best sleep, that's right. Hey, Merrill. Hello, yes, hello, yes, I'm very well rested after sleeping on my midnight luxe helix mattress. Good to see you. Good to see you. Your naps are stunning. I just wanted you to tell people about helix sleep, how the helix lineup offers 20 unique mattresses, including the award-winning luxe collection. The newly released Helix Elite Collection, a mattress designed for big and tall sleepers, even a mattress made just for kids.
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Starting point is 00:35:58 It was even recommended by multiple leading chiropractors and doctors of sleep medicine. I don't think I thought you were the person that you're doing. Oh, who are, what a, what a performance. Helix mattresses all come with a 10 to 15 year warranty depending on the model. Wow. Stunning. Yeah, look, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners.
Starting point is 00:36:21 Go to helix sleep.com slash riddle. This is their best offer yet, and it will not last long with helix better sleep starts now. Go ahead and give her the Academy of Snorr. The Snorr. Academy of Snorr. You know what? Give me the Academy of Snorr. Glint close to falling asleep. That's why I got you there. Oh, yeah. I got that a lot. Hey, Adel, hey, Aaron, I got a bone to pick with the two of you. Oh, sure. Yeah, I wore the skeleton outfit just because I figured this was coming. Happy Halloween a few months early. It's not yet. What is it?
Starting point is 00:36:56 So you know how the two of you, I was like, guys, I am always so hungry for lunches and dinners and the like and you,okers told me oh JPC it's okay all you have to do is take some you know American paper currency tape it to your front door, close the door and then wait until someone brings you food while I kept opening the door and the money was gone so I had to take more money to my door. I think you're thinking didn't work at all. Oh, door cash. Door cash.
Starting point is 00:37:26 Yeah, you did door cash. We told you door dash is the number one thing to you. What the hunk? With door dash, you'll enjoy next level convenience with delivery in the hour, making it easier than ever to get whatever you want delivered to your house, whether that be back to school supplies or whatever it is that you eat. JPC, which I don't know, what you eat whether that be back to school supplies or whatever it is that you eat.
Starting point is 00:37:45 JPC, which I don't know what you eat. I eat back to school supplies. But what? JPC, all your favorite retail, grocery and convenience stores are on the app so you can chop everything, your kids, your dogs, your family, might need for back to school. And hey, personally, just yesterday, I bought some Marsha's homemade premium quality buck eyes, you know, those candies that are chocolate stuff with peanut butter.
Starting point is 00:38:08 I just got those from DoorDash and they were on my porch within 20 minutes. And it's very dangerous because they're delicious. Did you fill your belly and your pantry? Yes. Did you fill your backpack? I did. Okay, well then DoorDash has come again for the gold.
Starting point is 00:38:27 I remember distinctively the stress of going back to school and going from store to store to get all my favorite snacks and pencils and pencil cases and all the things that I needed me and my siblings and I remember how stressed my mom was and I know that she would have loved to have DoorDash so she could be prepared before the big back to school day arrived. So you can stock up with go-to breakfast, lunchbox staples, and brands that you love.
Starting point is 00:38:50 Don't eat my school supplies, JPC. CBC, put that eraser down. Put that trapper keeper down. Your mouth is too small. Never been told that before. Shop door dash to get everything you need for the back to school season delivered right to your door. Order now for stress-free back to school shopping. promo code Riddle to get 50% off up to
Starting point is 00:39:08 $10 value. When you spend $15 or more at convenience, grocery, or retail stores on DoorDash, that's 50% off up to a $10 value. When you spend $15 or more promo code Riddle, don't forget JPC because you keep eating those school supplies. That's code Riddle for 50% off your next order terms apply at all JPC keeps eating my gel pens Thanks door cash. I mean no, that's the one that one didn't work that one's bad Hey jpc Yeah
Starting point is 00:39:41 You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm um Prinking at all and I'm, um, pranking at all. And I'm setting up a website to prank him. Um, can I just need some advice? This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only one website platform
Starting point is 00:39:59 for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand. Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience, and say, let me think for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Addle, come here, come here, come here. Hey, what's going on?
Starting point is 00:40:20 I actually, I wanna prank JPC, and I wanna set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like is there like Online store like it set up on my website to sell product. Did you know that with square space? You can have custom merch you can easily sell custom merchant create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand design your products and production and Inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing.
Starting point is 00:40:54 No, he's a guy with a studio. And I'm going to use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm going to improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords or popular products and content on my prank website for prank activity. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for?
Starting point is 00:41:14 I can't remember what the website was for. The website was for. Prank. With Squarespace. With Squarespace. You can connect to your store to Vedent third party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Madel? I can't believe we
Starting point is 00:41:32 pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back. She's back. Hey, Aaron, can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:42:10 Oh, the crocodile ate hook. Yeah. That's fucked. What did you remember had happened instead? I thought Captain Hook was like, like, had a moment of like, you know what? I'm the villain. I just realized. And then he like stopped. Did you know that Peter Pan, that the the that's where the phrase we hooked up came from
Starting point is 00:42:34 No, it is yeah, originally it meant to have an alligator eeta male You know that JPC is a liar know that JPC is a liar. I didn't. Okay, Aaron. Aaron, keep talking, keep writing your mouth. We're gonna hook up. Oh, we're gonna hook up. And it's gonna be in the alligator way. I do. Question. Peter Pampin at Butter. Why? Like right there. Like, why did that get to be a thing? Is it not? Is it not because? It is not because. It's an 1958 with that riddle. Is Peter Pan one of those things that's in the public domain,
Starting point is 00:43:12 or is it a Disney-owned property? I feel like it's Disney owned. Okay, okay. Then that would mean that they own VaynerPran, VaynerPran, VaynerPran, or? I thought it was one of those weird public domain characters that just after so long, just became anyone could use it type of thing a lot of people have googled it before us so The novel is public domain
Starting point is 00:43:36 Interesting Okay, hold on until 2023 so if you want to do your Next year we're putting it up. We're bouncing a production of Peter Pan. Yeah. Do you guys know how that I love, you know how I love like stage bloopers like theater bloopers. They're my favorite part about YouTube. I think my favorite one if I had to pick one is the Peter Pan one where they pulled the wrong rope. You know I'm talking about and the girl gets scared. I love it so much. So much goes wrong in such a short amount of time but my favorite part is when they pulled the wrong rope and the girl
Starting point is 00:44:13 who's pretending to sleep in the bag goes flying instead of Peter. We said that to us? Yes I will. There's a this American life episode called Fiasco that has the best, you know, this, that has the best story about Peter Pan. For sure, one of my favorite episodes of this American life. Oh, it's so good. I think it's a separate occasion that this video is. Isn't that so crazy? I'm sure. It makes no make sense, though, because that does seem like it's one of those plays that's like,
Starting point is 00:44:39 it just is in the canon and everyone does it, but it seems like no one thinks about how complicated it is to make people fly until they've already decided to do it and outstit and cast it. Yeah, especially kids running like thick wire, thick wire hiles. Yeah. It's not theater. It's not a union make. I think my favorite one I've seen is it's like a Wizard of Oz production and Dorothy's like, total, we're not in Kansas anymore.
Starting point is 00:45:05 And there's a real dog playing Toto and it runs and just falls off stage. It's like a, I mean, the dog was fine, thank God. But it's like a eight foot drop off the stage and everyone just gasps. That's very funny. I think when, about that all the time, because you have these professional like Peter Pan
Starting point is 00:45:22 being put on by a professional theater with people whose job it is to do things safely and whatnot. And then like high schools are like, we're gonna do Peter Pan being put on by a professional theater with people whose job it is to you know do things Safely and whatnot and then like high schools are like we're gonna do Peter Pan I've ever my junior year we did spider-man turn off the dark at my high school and I think like 11 kids died No, I mean did you know that you see as a liar? I Think that you brought up spider-man because that is the natural go to it's like, but wait, there's a grown up version of Peter Pan that is Spider-Man that actually couldn't be
Starting point is 00:45:52 produced in a proper way for the exact same reason. Y'all ever get high and watch YouTube videos but what went wrong with that Spider-Man musical? I can't recommend it up. Yeah, I haven't read it yet, but I bought a book that basically describes the whole shit show that was that production. I love it.
Starting point is 00:46:10 Okay, here you go. Speaking of shit shows, here's your next riddle from 1968, okay. Now we're getting groovy. Imagine the farmer nude long hair. Woodstock. We're only growing weed beans, man. Okay, here we go. Let those who have skilled to make
Starting point is 00:46:26 clear now try to discover my name. Four brothers I have in the fifth I appear, but our age is exactly the same. Alex Baldwin. It's got a surprising amount of brothers. A surprising amount of brothers. Um, yet I to their stature shall never attain, though as fast as them always I grow, but nature I'm destined, a dwarf to remain. So my riddle, you'll easily know.
Starting point is 00:46:53 Is this like a compass or something where it's like northeast southwest is it's brothers or something or it's... That's good, but it's no, no, it is not a compass. It's gonna stay small, even though it's brother's get bigger. Yep, yep, yep, it is not a compass. It's gonna stay small even though it's brilliant. There's kept bigger. Yep, yep, yep. It's always gonna be yet to their stature shall never attain. And but do they also say I am inside one of my brothers?
Starting point is 00:47:15 They're so kind of weird meta. And that's why. And that's why. And that's why. And that's why. If that was said, it was a Freudian slip on my part. I thought it's like, I appear in my brothers. Yeah, so for brothers house Targaryen For brothers I have in the fifth I appear there. I think it just means that it has four brothers
Starting point is 00:47:36 Yeah, I think it's just a couple get away fifth. I appear what's something that's one of five and the fifth I And the fifth one I And the fifth I have. And the fifth I have. It's one of five, yes, one of five. Toes, fingers, your tiny pinky toe. Oh, you picked it. You have nailed it. Thumb or the pinky toe.
Starting point is 00:47:54 It is the tiny little toe. It says the little toe, but I would call that the pinky toe. And as the winner, it is my right to ask to hear the voice of the pinky toe, JPC, if you would. More supper, please. Hold on, I can do this better. More supper please. Hold on, I can do this better. More supper please.
Starting point is 00:48:12 There you go. There's your pinky toe. Hungry little toe. Well, JPC, keep that voice modulator on because I want to see a scene where you're the pinky toe. Addle your the rigging finger and Janet your the middle finger. Oh, I don't know. Did anyone see what I'm wearing today? What's around my waist? Jealous. Fuck you.
Starting point is 00:48:34 Be proposed. I'm the middle. I know you are middle finger. Congratulations. Wow. Thank you. That's what I wanted to get another. You can get a lot of attention. Everyone's doing your great. You're not even have to like do anything specific because the things for you. That's what I wanted. You're gonna get another, you can get a lot of attention. Everyone's doing you're great. You're not even gonna have to do anything specific because the things on you, congratulations. Thank you, I don't know if I should wear it
Starting point is 00:48:51 in the front of the back. Hey, can you see this down there? You who? Oh, me? Are you talking to me? Yeah. Can you see what I'm wearing? I have nothing to wear.
Starting point is 00:49:02 Don't, it looks so beautiful! It looks so beautiful! Thank you! Thank you! Hey, you know what? You'll never wear one of these. Oh, yes. I don't really have...
Starting point is 00:49:15 You have knuckles, and I don't really think I have that. I'm kind of just... I feel like I'm kind of just like one piece. Now, listen, but first of all, little sweetie, I gotta tell you something. You are Q's button. Don't ever change, and I will tell you something else.
Starting point is 00:49:29 You absolutely can wear a ring. You absolutely can get some of that. We gotta find, we gotta, we gotta, we gotta join the mafia, okay? I don't think so. Very popular with the gentlemen in the mafia. Very popular, you're gonna be great. I don't, I don't't know I don't think so. I mean the day I had barbecue sauce on me for 24 hours
Starting point is 00:49:52 I'm not I'm one of them. He thought about things. It don't don't have any trouble for old me Hey guys, what are you talking about? It's me Can can I get out of here Here you think you're so cool. Fuck off. Tell me out here, guys. Fuck off. Uh, fuck, fuck, fuck. I can't do it.
Starting point is 00:50:14 Good job, little baby. No, no, no. You can be a part of this too. Look, I was once, I was once just like that, okay? I was longing to be a part of something and you welcomed me with open... joists. Don't talk about it, sing about it. I would never hit a child!
Starting point is 00:50:37 You need it! Okay, here's the thing that happened that people who can't see wouldn't know. And I know it's an optical illusion But I swear to God I felt like JPC's image grew smaller Well, he was doing that voice. It was like the grunches He was shrunk down and his cheeks got rosaier and he was holding a big little lollipop. Yes It was crazy Just shaking into my zone. It was so cute.
Starting point is 00:51:07 Okay, well speaking of me being cute, let's do another riddle. Here we go. This is from an old Farmer's Almanac from 1862. 1862. Oh boy. Oh, that's too old. It's very old. It's too old. I am a singular creature.
Starting point is 00:51:24 Pray tell me my name. Oh, that's what comes back then. And let's roll again. Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? I am a singular creature. Pray tell me my name. I partake of my countrymen's glory and fame.
Starting point is 00:51:41 I daily am old. I daily am new. I am praised. I am blamed. I am false, I am true. I'm the talk of the nation while I'm in my prime. But forgotten, when once I've outlasted my time. And the morning no miss is more corded than I. In the evening, you see me thrown carelessly by. Take warning, e-fair, I like you have my day.
Starting point is 00:52:00 But alas, you like me must grow old and decay. A banana, the news. Like the First Amendment. What do you have a banana? The First Amendment and the news. Okay, so I need to spend this. Zones, you. You can see, what have you got it right?
Starting point is 00:52:19 Wait, what's your voice? What's your the voice? The voice, okay, this is the voice of this thing. Hmm, yes, well, oh, yes. Okay. It's a newspaper. It's a newspaper. Clearly a banana.
Starting point is 00:52:33 Clearly a banana. Did you see what you do if it was a banana? How would the voice sound? This is a banana, okay. No, boy! It's time to have a little potassium! Kill it, kill it, and one, what would the first amendment sound like?
Starting point is 00:52:50 What would the first amendment sound like? Mala, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, yeah. Nailed it. Nailed it. Really good at this game. I wonder if there is a way for me to pivot this into something. Can you sing about it?
Starting point is 00:53:07 I would never did a child. First, if it's the first lyric of your song, clearly you would. It's top of mind. Yeah, he thinks the first of it that Doug versus you, but. Oh, okay. Because that's what they had back then. That's what they had going on. Not going to be a TV.
Starting point is 00:53:31 Not going to be a radio. I'd like to see you see the right riddles about the news. Um, Addle and Janet, you are two neighbors in the 1800s and... But we're not British, right? No, you're not British, don't worry. Your normal neighbor is normal, not British. Normal? Not that British. Don't worry. Your normal neighbor is normal not British Not that British people like no god. Oh So norwegian just to be clear just to keep keeping keeping tally norwegians are dirty little animals
Starting point is 00:53:56 It's not normal. Okay So you are two neighbors in the 1800s and you are Gossiping and getting news about the world and your town from each other Oh for for sooth dawn morning Janet hey Wilson. How's it going? Good good. I'm taking a class on language. I can tell he sound very fancy indeed class on language. I can tell he's on very fancy indeed. Did Dioff hear that Melissa Williams upon last eve did shrink herself down to the size
Starting point is 00:54:32 of a thimble and did walketh through Mr. Thurston's door knob in which once inside she did mess about his pots and pans? That really happened? That's an extraordinary piece of gossip. That's what Ty heard. It seems very fleshed out. Like I'm curious if it started out as a realistic story and then turned into Melissa shrinking herself down to the size of a them.
Starting point is 00:54:56 I don't even think a thimble could get through. Would you say a thimble could go through a keyhole? Is that what you said? A small thimble. Like how small. That that's all. Wait, are you saying something happened where one person Doth did say something? Another person, upon them, did hear it. Yes. They did relay that to thine another ear.
Starting point is 00:55:15 They did misinterpret and so forth and thus on. Like the canon string game. Like the fun beloved canon string game. Yes, Canon String. Oh, daddy, daddy. I have another piece of gossip for you. I hoard another very interesting story. Oh, what did that find here?
Starting point is 00:55:35 So when it was time for me to take a bath, all the water came came out of the bathtub and then it went into the ocean And I got sucked into the ocean and then I took a bath in the ocean and then I a fish swam up to me And I made twins with twins with the fish and I can speak to the fish and we made plans to meet again later Janet Vi carries more news. Okay. All right. My son did take thine bath and upon thine bath. He took my bath. Listen, I'm taking a language class. Maybe I'm taking the two literally. Work with thy. Great. Upon thine bath, he did get sucketh down into the ocean. A fish swallowed him whole. He's been 60 days and 60 nights inside th fish upon which he built a boat in the morn
Starting point is 00:56:25 He sailed at the fish's mouth into the space and time Above us all and in the sky he did explode into a constellation So now one night that fall the man holding an arrow and bow made from the parts of a ship. That is my son I actually heard almost all of that story and then it, it sounds to me based on what I was told by your son that you just bullshitted through the last little piece of that. I don't think some of that sounded like it was made up on the spot and that's how that thing works. You know what Janet, I've realized the gossip in this town work is a one way street.
Starting point is 00:57:02 I give you all the gossip every day and all you do is give me notes on my gossip. What did you do yesterday? What did you hear? Listen to me. You know what they say about gossip. Gossip is poison that you sip. Oh. That you put the sip in gossip.
Starting point is 00:57:23 Oh, oh, gossip gossip everywhere and not a drop the drink. Thank you. And that's why you shouldn't gossip. Oh. Also your house has been sold out from underneath you by your son. He isn't. What? You are.
Starting point is 00:57:37 You no longer have a home. He is so funny. Oh. Well, at least I don't call my dog my daughter. Are you talking about Nana? Yeah. How dare you. You put a little hat on a dog.
Starting point is 00:57:51 How dare you, sir. Oh, here comes the mayor. Mayor. Mayor. Yes. What's up here today? What are you sorry? My voice, I didn't mean to do that. so aggressively with my voice in a way that it would
Starting point is 00:58:08 hurt. Well, I heard that there's two neighbors who gossip a lot and one of them exaggerates and gets a lot wrong in the, oh, I remember who I heard this about. It's like, back to waste, lolly. Bye-bye. Let's see. Oh, Mary, I told you that in confidence. Back to way slowly. Bye-bye. Let's see. Oh, Mayor, I told you that in confidence.
Starting point is 00:58:29 All right, we have time. We trust me. We have time to do one more of these riddles. This is from a farmer's almanac from 1948, 1948. Small the YM, greatestterations I achieve, and oft the wisest of mankind to seep. Patriots and lawgivers, by me, their sway, maintain and lead the nation to obey. Minor those gifts and mind those powers refined, which from the brute, distinguished, kind. I give new pleasures when the song goes round
Starting point is 00:59:06 and charm the hearers with melodious sound. Like a guitar string or a pen. Like a guitar string. It's like a guitar string. It's like the human voice, but it's neither of those things. It's like a music. Like a thumbs up. It's not piano.
Starting point is 00:59:23 You're getting farther afield. High five. Do the voice, do the voice, do the fucking voice. Dance on music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. It's music. For the field. My master's voice, his master's voice, something. Yeah, for that, it was the RCA dog. Okay, this is the voice of the thing. Okay, give me one second. Help, man. This is, this is, by the way, my toughest challenge yet to do the voice of this thing.
Starting point is 00:59:57 Take all the time you need, because we're gonna cut that last scene that we did more with the Gossipy neighbors. So there you go. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay, an actor prepares. Well, this is my voice. Have you seen my voice? A torn umbrella. It's not a torn umbrella. Now, let's say it's a flappy sort of a flappy voice.
Starting point is 01:00:24 Yes, a lot of air. A kite. A loose kite. A bagpipe. An ego, a bagpipes ego. We used to, yeah. Bagpipes ego also open for the Decemberus. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:38 I feel like this, it's this thing where they're like, yeah, let's go see the alchemist. He always turns the, he always turns the simple materials at a gold and the, you get to the alchemist's house and he's like, well, let's go see the alchemist. He always turns the simple materials at a gold, you get to the alchemist's house and he's like, well, I'm out of the trick that I usually do. This whole thing is based on a lie. It doesn't work.
Starting point is 01:00:54 Basically, what I'm saying is we had a flu and it doesn't work. Is it a bubble? Is it a piece of gum? A bubble? A bubble? A bubble, sways. We're getting further.
Starting point is 01:01:04 All right. Small way I am. Great errations I achieve and off the wisest of mankind to see. Patriots and lawgivers by me their sway, maintain and lead the nation to obey. Minor those gifts and mind those powers refined, which from the brute, distinguished humankind, I give new pleasures when the song goes round and charm the hearers with melodious sound.
Starting point is 01:01:24 Man, a name. Manors, the song goes round and charm the hearers with melodious sound. A name. A name. Manor's the song. It's not, it's not the song manners. It's like a harmonica. Triton. Triton. Triton.
Starting point is 01:01:36 I, the thing that separates Brutes from sophisticated is a harmonica. Which from the Brute Distinguished Human Kind. Now here's the thing that I would say with this is that I think The answer to this riddle is not like if you're thinking of like the brute as like an animal Animals have this as well, so it's not yeah, it's this is not unique to humans I think that's a bad part of this riddle out of zappel no No, it's it's not an analyst apple. Thank you ring
Starting point is 01:02:03 No, it's not an adult's apple. Thank you, Ring. It's got to be a callback to something we've already talked about. That's the rule. That's the rule for comedy. It's not the rule for brittle. Circle. I think the easiest, the one that I think is patriots and lawgivers give me their sway, maintain and lead the nation to obey.
Starting point is 01:02:20 Tongue? By me, adult, it is a tongue. Do you hear that voice again? That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it.
Starting point is 01:02:30 That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it.
Starting point is 01:02:38 That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it I didn't realize it was a tongue. Yeah, it is tough. And it's, and I don't advise you at home to do the tongue voice.
Starting point is 01:02:49 The tongue voice is hard to execute. It seems like you could hurt your own tongue by doing the tongue voice. Yes. Can I say something? You say don't do the tongue voice. The tongue voice is hard to do. Never do the tongue voice. It's impossible.
Starting point is 01:03:02 I think the tongue voice is just fladorious plop. I think I've been doing the tongue voice. It's impossible. I think the tongue voice is just fladorious plump I think I've been doing the tongue voice Here is the jowl voice Yeah, good call a little air and the Yeah, I get a house. What can you be should you have my demand you today? I'm hearing the jowls. I'm not this is a a man who reads through his jowls somehow. Plop has gills. Yes, tell your friend. Can it. It's canon. It's good. But Aaron did say that there might be a fourth host and I do want to submit my audition tape for Flodorias Plops Cousin. Let's see. Let's see.
Starting point is 01:03:39 Flodorias clop. Flodorias clop not clotorious clomp. His name is Plotorious and he talks like a tongue. This is a thycathorious clomp here that's not talking like a tongue. Just spit all over my bike and confuse me. I don't want to do this character anymore. We'll have to clean that up later. Fair enough, fair enough.
Starting point is 01:04:00 Look, we've reached it. We've reached the inevitable point of the show. It's everyone's favorite segment. It's the segment that Adeltiz, a little earlier in the podcast that we get to do in earnest now. And that is a segment we call plugs. This is where we get to talk about anything that we have upcoming that we're very excited about. And guess the owner, we'll start with you, Janet. Janet, is there anything that you would like to find folks out there in Heyverd over to land to know about? Well, I mean, I'd love to plug Halloween. If you feel like you're too old to wear a costume, I want you to know that there are people
Starting point is 01:04:29 everywhere, every day who are wearing costumes who are older than you, you absolutely should celebrate it. However, means you see fit. Happy Halloween. I know it's a couple weeks away. Happy Halloween. I can't, you are so right. You're the first to wish you happy Halloween.
Starting point is 01:04:47 I want to be the first person to wish each and every one of you happy Halloween. Wow. I think that you are so right. I mean, the businessman wearing is for a pursuit to work. Yeah. That's a costume. That's right.
Starting point is 01:05:00 That's a costume. The nurse wearing their scrubs. I'm so sure. What are you hiding behind those life-saving scrubs? It's costume. I guess it's not the scrubs that save lives. That's probably rude. I came out wrong.
Starting point is 01:05:17 Yeah, you're right. It's the doctors. The nurses don't save lives. I think that they have the scalpel and stuff like that, right? I mean, that's what Janet's saying. Janet's saying that nursing is not a real profession. I'm saying that the TV show scrubs has saved lives because. So Norwegians. Nurses, we're getting, hey, look, if we haven't got you yet,
Starting point is 01:05:41 hey, we're trying to work our way through everybody. Everybody gets one. Nobody's safe. Nobody's safe. Thank you, Spider-Man. Everybody gets one. Hey, we're the little shocked, jock's segment.
Starting point is 01:05:53 Nobody's safe. Everybody's at risk. Nick Melty showed up on that guest. What's going to be another 48 hours, Nick? I'm speaking of another 48 hours. We can't take that long with plugs. Addle, do you have anything that you would like people to know about? Yes. One is, hello from the Magic Tavern. The podcast that Chill Lopy named is going to be doing some upcoming live shows. We'll be at the Bellhouse in New York City on Friday,
Starting point is 01:06:20 October 14th. So please come see us then. We will also be, by now, it should be announced, and if it's not, this will be the announcement, we're also gonna be in Chicago at Tauley Hall on Saturday, December 17th, just in time for the holidays, and I believe we're gonna be doing a holiday show. So please check this out, you can go to hellofromthematgytaphernd.com for more info and tickets. And also, number two, like Janet was saying,
Starting point is 01:06:42 I have a great Halloween, maybe eight years ago, I went as Abraham LinkedIn. And that was a, that was a fun costume. A lot of people like that. So if you're trying to think of something, just do that. All you need is that. That's a good. And, uh, and like a little card, this is LinkedIn Abraham LinkedIn. Aaron, do you have anything to plug?
Starting point is 01:06:59 Uh, yes. I think it's this week. I'm on this week's comedy bang bang episode. Um, and I was very nervous to go on this week's comedy bang bang episode. And I was very nervous to go on. It's the first time and maybe last time I'll ever be on the show. So if you want to listen to that and make it to be sweet,
Starting point is 01:07:13 that would be so nice. I also want to plug sitcom D&D always. You can find that wherever you find podcasts. And the last thing I'd like to plug is every Wednesday from now until until I don't know forever. Chicago comedians in LA are hosting a show. Each week it's hosted by a different improv team and Wet Bus hosts the second Wednesday of the month. But I'll be, I think, mostly at every single show. I'll be around either performing or hanging out. And it's at the art theater. It's
Starting point is 01:07:43 called Chalax Comedy. And you can follow me on Instagram if you want to know more about that. JPC, do you want to read a sweet little five star review of the show? I would love to read a five star review of the show. This one we have is coming from, I want to see Nargolowl. And it says, I heard JPC is reading reviews.
Starting point is 01:08:01 I dedicate those review to my colleague, Puppy, Margot, pronounced Margot. Okay, then why did you spell it Margot, stupid? Uh, anyway, who listens to the podcast with me? Hey Margot, Margot, you're a good girl. How you doing, Margot? Do you want to go outside? Do you want to go to the dog park? Good girl, Margot, good girl. I got you something. Do you want some cheese? I got some cheese. Hopefully you read this on air. Margot has the zoomies by now and is going bonkers. I love the show. Thank you for making me laugh every week.
Starting point is 01:08:30 Thank you, Nurgle Allel. And as always, if you want to get your review featured on the show, just leave a five star review on Apple iTunes and it may be one of the lucky ones that I picked to read to your dog. And speaking of five star reviews, Aaron, I don't know if you saw in the night sky. There seems to be a lot of stars shining a little brighter than normal. And I think because currently, Jupers, the closest it'll ever be, what's the planet I just said?
Starting point is 01:08:52 Um, I don't, I don't want to say it because if I say it, then Janet will eat. Well, think of Janet Varnie as Planet Varnie and you can only send her home by saying the name of the planet planet Varney by Jupiter runs up to my room throws myself Aaron no by by forever one Aaron no Aaron Margo what's Margo you have a voice let me hear you Margo Hello, I'm Mario and I demand to be taken seriously. That tracks. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:30 Sorry, Eric. And John Patrick Collins. Casey Tony to the editing. I already heard it in the music. Vocal created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Naborin. Hey there Christians and Andersons, if you liked that you are going to love this week's Patreon. It's another edition of our Huns, Christian Andersen stories. You can listen to that plus our entire Batcad patreon.com.shavetallrittlerittle
Starting point is 01:10:06 by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or the review crew for $8 a month. And you get those ed free episodes. See you there!

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