Hey Riddle Riddle - #23: A Year End Riddie-view

Episode Date: December 26, 2018

The Clue Crew gets together to re-hash all of our favorite riddies and puzzies that were cut for time in 2018. Plus we do some hard-hitting soul searching about snacks, having kids, and the pronunciation of human anatomy. And there may or may not be a visit from one of our favorite recurring characters. We'd also like to give a special shout-out to Lauren and Ben who created https://riddiesandpuzzies.com/ where you can find all of our previous riddles spoiler-free. See you all in 2019!Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: KJ SnyderTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgun podcast. Hey listeners, it's your favorite clue crew. We hope we hope we hope for your favorite God. Oh Your favorite clue crew if there is if there is I will Scooby-Doo in those guys call themselves Clucif with cuz of they do I will go to his wife's house I will make this is do you're gonna miss his do's house. This is screw. I will make a scene But we have a special announcement for you. It's a gift. Are you sitting down? Stand up now lay down? Sit down. That pressure teeth. That killed the president Manjourn again can't to date if you love references like that

Here's what you're gonna want to do. You're gonna want to subscribe wait wait. Let's do a drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll, drum roll here now on Hey Rid or Riddle, but something new. So we're going to be doing game shows. We're going to be doing road trip games. We're going to be having exclusive live content. We're going to do live streaming. We have all kinds of incredible stuff planned for you all. We're going to be releasing, I believe, every week, something new. Yeah. Oh yeah.

There's going to be tons of content, special one-off events. And more of everything you love. So if you're into the hashtag, JP so horny, or the hashtag, key for that reel, or the hashtag, you know. Adolescent, Adolescent. It's all gonna be included. It'll all be on the Patreon and Adel. The best part about the Patreon, anybody can get it.

Anybody can get full access for just five for Xbox. I thought we said that only certain people would be allowed. Oh, yes. So only you can only get it if like you cool, you smoke a cigarette, put behind your ear, you punch a nerd, you can get it. So go to Patreon, look for our Patreon. If you find it, that means you're cool.

That means you're cool. If you don't, I'm so sorry, you can't subscribe. Yeah, so just go to patreon.com slash doleboys. You can give us five dollars. And our I'm going to give those $5. And our patreon is only going to be $5. So for $5 you unlock all the content every month. Again, it's going to be something pretty special. But one of our content is we're just going to mic me up

and you're going to hear me go into a store, try to make a return and lose my nerve. Some of the content will be JPC miced up going to a cemetery. He's going to find someone he thinks might have hated him and then dab on their grave. And you will get to hear that. You're going to hear the wind whip past my arms as I dab. And we're going to do some special content for Adel as well.

We are going to Mike him up into his apartment and listen to eight and a half hours of silence. If you want to donate more, you can donate more than $5 but $5 gets you everything so please check that out. We're incredibly excited to show you all what we have in store so please check it out. It might make a good holiday gift otherwise. Even though it's only coming out January so would you give some of that? Yeah it's an hour to get. Yeah well but we want them in January. Or present day gift. It's a presidency gift. well, but we want them in January Or maybe an armored armored egg it's a presidency gift So please check out our page on this is a sleepy scary month

so You're gonna want to be irritated by us on another commute really bundle up so join our clue crew check out our patron Thank you so much. We love you. Thank you And now an episode of hey riddle riddle with your favorites, Apple to Dry, Karen Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, because it's our end of year wrap up episode. They're gonna play a little jingle. Yeah, there'll be a little jingle that goes there so we can talk and nobody can hear us and back to us live. And of course when we say end of the year wrap up,

you probably already wrapped up some gifts because this is post Christmas. You probably unwrapped some gifts because this is post Christmas. What did I say? You said wrapped up some gifts. Can I talk to over here? Yeah, over here. Or you returned all the things. I'm gonna unwrap some gifts because this is post Christmas. What did I say? You said wrapped up some gifts. Can I talk to over here?

Yeah, over here. Or you returned all the things. Sorry, you were having a side. Big empty pit. Splunch. What were your, wait, what was that? Splunch. Splunch.

That's a combination of what two words? No, it's when you fall into a big pile of lunch. Oh, like splunching one. It's a splash of lunch. Splashing splashashing the lunch. It's a splashy splashy water. So we're gonna do that. Adam, what was your favorite gift that you received this year? My favorite gift was I cannot believe that somebody got me a mandolin.

Mm, nice. And when I say mandolin, I mean the kitchen machine that plays country music. Oh yeah. No one knows what that means. No one knows what it's like. For sure. To be the bad guy.

Behind the glass. Aaron, what was your favorite gift for Hanukkah? Probably the gift to be simple, the gift to be free. Ta-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum No, I want it like okay. I want what's the minimum amount of money? I would say $8,000. $8,000? $8,000. Yeah. I would say dark web a grand. Do you think you could get someone killed for $1,000? If you're gonna like pushing someone in front of a train or something, a grand easy.

If you want like someone shot or poisoned, you're talking eight to 50 grand. Eight to 50 grand? Dude, if I could make 50 grand poisoning people, I would be poisoning people today. I'd be poisoning you too. Either of you ever watch Killing Eve. No.

I want some. Are you trying to say Christmas Eve? Yeah, I'm trying to say Christmas Eve, but I'm just confused. Yeah. Yeah, and you're being gaslit, right? Yeah, I just want someone, I don't know. What's Killing Eve?

It's a show. Sandra O'Rae. Sandra O'Rae. And this, I don't know who she is, but she's's a show. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. Sandra O'Ray. I wonder how expensive she is. Interesting. I think if you're very good at it, I think you could get some like, you know, some little dock worker to go and whack somebody for 800 bucks. But I have to go to the past first. Yeah. Just to go on the waterfronts and by that I mean,

go to the era that Ilya Kazan's movie was made. But if you are, if you're like a professional assassin, I think you probably make good money. Have you ever seen the movie Gross Point Blunk? John Kuset. With Matt LeBlanc. Yeah. The pointer's a sister. I think you probably make good money. Have you ever seen the movie gross point blank? Matt LaBlanc. The pointer sisters. And Dan Acquist. Terry Gross.

Terry Gross. The pointer sisters and Matt LaBlanc. Oh brother. It's a shit show. It's very bad. We got to make that poster. What was my favorite gift? Yes.

Yes, one to roll that I was asked could do be considered a friend. I forgot what we were even talking about. my favorite gift that I received this year is I Got like a Google home like a whatever that I can say Google to my class house. It's a hub. Yeah, Google hub But I got like smart lights light to it and I got one of the ones that changes colors So I can say like Google put on a light for me to fuck to Okay, I can say Google put on a light for me to fuck to Okay, I can say Google put on a light for me to that Shows greed too late calling the cops Music to fuck this engage my fuck like

But I can I can Song of 2019 this engage my fuck that's not that's indeed that punk single this engage my fuck like this engage my fuck like But but yeah, it's really cool. It can change colors and you can set presets. So you can say like, you can say like Google, make it storm in here. It's a necessity to say set presets or can you just say you can preset.

You can preset. Do you have such a flirty voice with Google? Google. I accidentally do. They were like, do your voice test now, say, oh, hey, Google. So that reminds me, earlier in the year, we're gonna play some of our favorite moments,

or maybe some moments that were cut. It's gonna be a lot of stuff that was cut for air. Remember? A lot of it is stuff you already heard. Remember earlier in the year, this never made it onto the show, but remember when we had that scene speaking of where Aaron, you were Google Home,

and JPC, you were taking Google Home out on a date. Oh yeah, that, oh my god, what was that? That was in like late August, I believe. Of 94? That's how long we've been recording this show. Let's see that scene. Can we have a sound effect?

Like a blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, Oh yeah, well now it's that. I'm sure we'll have some blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue Oh yeah, I'm sure we'll have some blue blub blub blub when we go back to our previous clips. I am ready. Well, this is my place. Oh, really? Just here in the middle of this block?

Yeah, thank you for walking me. Google home. Oh, I'd love to see you again. Google kiss. I'm sorry? Oh yeah, I'll Google kiss. Googleing kiss. Oh, no, it's easy just all you have to How to kiss on YouTube? No, okay, hey, the band. I know how to do kiss the band.

Kiss kissing kissing is fun and wet. Okay, Google Maybe we could try to do a kiss Okay, oh okay We could try to do a kiss. Okay. Oh, okay. I'm not really looking for anything serious. Oh, well, I mean, yeah, I guess we're still early, but I was kind of, I guess maybe hoping that this could turn into something serious or... Who's going to have something serious on?

No, not to. Siri on. So, Siri is here Google don't tell and Siri Why so Siri us? Ha ha ha. Heath Ledger died Siri is my friend. She's going through a hard time. Do you have anyone we could set her up with? I'm looking for someone. I will describe who I am looking for six foot 11 inches 150 pounds.

That's so tall. Slender man, slender man. That's so tall for this proportion. I want to fuck I'm slender man. I want to fuck I'm slender man. Look, yeah, I don't really know anyone that looks like that, and I don't think that that's, you know, that's actually kind of a dangerous thing for you to want to get involved with Siri.

Okay, Google, no more judging. No, I'm not, I'm not judging. Look. Put down the gavel. Okay, you know what? Google Siri, I don't think I'm in this anymore. I think I think maybe good night and good luck. Google, good night. Good luck. No. No. David's straight there.

And George Clooney, a movie. Black and white cigarettes. A pretentious movie. I think it wanted Oscar Google kiss Save wow, we'll probably never air that one now. I mean, we obviously had to cut that because of what happened with Google Yeah, yeah, man got it's hot. It's August and it's so hot Wow, we sounded like babies. Mm-hmm. That was blonde then.

Oh, yeah. Maybe your blonde face. What a blonde. Yeah, remember when you came in and recorded once blonde and we paused and we would not talk or record with you until you wouldn't hide your hair in the bathroom? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I was blonde in high school and it did not look good.

People did not care for it. You dyed blonde, right? Died blonde. I'd love to see that photo. And you were buried blonde? Yeah. You know what? We'll post it on the Instagram.

Do you really have photos of your youth blonde here? Yeah. I was blonde. I was Joanna and Sweeney Todd. So I was blonde. And did you do high school theater? I was Joanna and Fabrics. I liked that so much that's that's I

Ac that is the funniest thing. I was going shit. We can all post we can all post photos of our silves in high school I was in I was in by by birdie. I was mr. McAfee. I was in Robin Hood the musical I was Robin I was in Robin Hood the musical, I was Robin. Oh. It's about it. Nice and Peter Payne was kept in a hook. Oh, of course you were. Oh, of course you were. You have a hand of our mustache.

Yeah, I think I have a drawn on pencil thin mustache. If you don't, if you have a Google image, JPC yet, he looks like Captain Hook. Did you have a bunch of moments where backstage you would take the hook and mine jerking off? Because that was funny. No, but I did take my good hands and jerked off a mine. I'm doing it.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. All the trade in the subtle art of no but impact. So if you haven't picked up on it, it is our end of the year episode. And all of 2018 riddles, we've all thrown them in the trash. The riddles are gone. We don't have

any fresh riddles. So what we are doing is we are going to do an entire episode where we look back at some of our favorite riddles that we did this year. They were maybe lost to the vault. Oh yeah. So we have this. To the Disney Vault specifically. That thing is ruthless. We actually put up a bunch of episodes of the Disney Vault and then we were like, hey, I think we shared a vault with you and Disney and the guy was just a stone face and he kept pushing us out. What's in the Disney Vault and that we were like, hey, I think we shared a vault with you and Disney and the guy was just a stone face and he kept pushing us out. What's in the Disney Vault? We're talking Cox in the mound, we're talking.

Oh, is that a Disney movie? Sure. But so we are going to be throwing back to some of our favorite riddles. A lot of them are riddles that people have written in saying that they really wanted us to put into this clip show. So thank you if you've sent in emails. If you haven't sent in emails, don't worry. What I just said was fake. But that's kind of the year-end wrap-up for us. Adel, I know we've come such a long way. This podcast has been going on since what?

August, the end of August. Okay, Jay, can you play some really nostalgic music under this? Thank you. And I'll just sing the freshman by the bird. But, what was one of your favorite riddles that we did this year on the show? Oh, let's go to one of the warmup riddles that we had to cut, because something went a little bit wrong. Blu-blu-blu-blu-blu-blu-blu-blu-blu-blu-blu-blu-blu. Look, Aaron swam to the surface.

Yeah. Aaron, you can breathe in a lot of back and time for that. Oh, yeah, sorry. She can hold a breath so well. Blu-blu-blu-blu-blu-blu-blu-blu-blu-blu-blu-blu-blu. Okay, here's a warmup riddle. I can be long or short. I can be grown or bought.

I can be painted or left bare. What am I? I'm butt. I was gonna say a peanuts. But some peanuts, but some peanuts, Good, I actually thought that they were called peanuts for like 28 years. I actually thought that they were called peanuts for like 28 years Buy some peanuts Hair But hair penis hair not not far off. Oh, Taint I can

What's not far from the button the penis? I can be longer short. I can be grown or bought I can be painted or left bear Oh, Warhammer 40 K minis. No, it's left bare. Remember when Katy Perry had those two bears on either side of her? And there's left bare? Oh yeah, left bare. Oh, that's a joke from this year. Oh.

Oh, a wall. Mmm, to paint. So you think a wall can be longer short? Yeah, it's short. I can be longer short. I can be grown or bought. I can be painted or left bare What am I weed It's weed. So you're weed you're busted you fucking busted. I'm an undercover cop This is my partner her name is Maurice Delacquas

And I'm lazy She's not gonna take out her badge because she is lazy, but my badge should suffice for both of us. JPC, we've been watching you and posting his podcast host for three years now. Oh yeah, oh yeah? Well guess what motherfucker? I'm DEA. Desks, energy, and American values.

The pregnant positive between all three words shows that you were recalling it from them. Uh huh. And I've been watching both of you. I've been monitoring you for un-American activity, use of desks and low energy. Ugh. Suck that bitch.

Do you have what was I French? Maurice, Delacroix? Yeah, I'd say, but you are French. And guess what, motherfuckers, it's me. Shouldn't Aaron get a guess what, motherfuckers? I'm sorry. To Paddy. I guess what, motherfuckers sorry to paddard guess what mother fucker Maurice

Um Aaron say you're from interpol no Aaron Aaron Aaron Aaron Aaron Aaron Aaron Aaron Aaron say Aaron say you're from interpol oh I'm gonna go with I know I'm from interpol Do you guys want to hear this joke that someone told me the other day that I laughed so hard at? All right, it's a knock-knock joke. But nothing better than secondhand jokes. Aaron, you start. Knock knock.

Who's there? Hold on, just to make a hand. I think you finished it. No, it was scary. The answer is fingernails. What? We were doing a riddle. Oh, painting them.

Gosh, we can't hear theirs, because something went wrong. Because you said you can't hear this. Now it's got, fuck, we just blew that whole, fun war about parental. It's perfect up until you said we can't hear this. Can we have a show meeting? Pernets. Can we have a show meeting real quick?

Is she eating? Can we all do a sidebar? Yeah, let's do a sidebar. Aaron, I'm going to have a Moscow mule. I'm going to do an old fashioned over here, some lime. Aaron, can we have a quick said bar? Yeah, well, it's a good time. Okay, Adel's dead weight.

He's weighing us up. I completely agree. I'm on your side. Hey, Adel, can we do a said bar? Yeah, of course. JPC is dead weight. We gotta get him out of here. Oh, I totally agree.

You know, I was concerned I was dead weight. Oh, no. Hey, JPC, can we do a side bar? Absolutely. You and I are dead weight. Yeah, we're trash, right? Yeah. Okay, well, you should be. Aaron, can I do a side bar with you real quick and I are dead weight. Yeah, we're trash, right? Yeah. Okay, well you should be.

Hey, Erin, can I do a sidebar with you real quick? Of course, Erin. Erin, you are killing it. I like your hair today. Well, thank you. You look, I don't know, there's something about you. Hey, do you want to go out sometime? Oh my gosh.

You don't, what? And when there's only one set of footprints in the sand, that's when Aaron was carrying herself and the show. Oh, I'm sorry. I just was kissing myself. What were we talking about? Yeah, we obviously had to lose that.

We had to lose that one because the James Brown reference at the end. Yeah, a lot of reasons. Yeah, we've heard a lot of reasons we had to lose that James Brown reference. My favorite riddle of the year was the one that JPC read perfectly. Oh, yeah, there was such great enunciation. My one take riddle. And he just like you could feel every syllable. It was like a Shakespearean.

It was, yeah, let's like watching Mark Rylens do 12th night. Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob. Are you prepared? Yes? Yes. Why are you wearing pantaloons? Put that skull down. What is wet?

But never sipped. But chance, it grazes a woman's lips. A man would take it in his mouth, a dog would hold what spit it out, leather bound and full of pricks. Many would call this a dick. What am I and wherefore found in the mouth of man, woman or how? Okay, what do you guys think? Talking about dogs, even blood yubs? Yeah, it's a... Just a nice dog, give it a blow, shall we? Pupu, pupu, pupu, pupu, pupu, wait a minute, we're not done.

Pupu, pup done. I'm sorry. Look, I got every line in that riddle perfect, okay? The fact that it couldn't go on the show was insane. I thought, you know. Couldn't go on the show, but it did go on. I mean, it's on the best stuff. It's on our best stuff for the year. Oh, this is the best stuff?

It is now because we put some of the best stuff on there. My dog, Blue Jon Brittle, had everything. And it thinks for the year. Oh, this is the best stuff? It is now because we put some of the best stuff on there. My dog, Blue Job, Riddle had everything. And it takes for good. For girls, bull. And dog, the boys and dogs. It was mysterious. Oh my God. It was good.

Okay, fine. You know what, some of my best stuff you'll never hear because you got to shut me down. We appreciate you and we love you. And thank you for using your traditional Chicago accent for once. You know what, you guys are so wrong. If you think thank you for using your traditional Chicago accent for once You know what you guys are so wrong if you think I'm not gonna use my Chicago accent on the show You know what for the rest of the show I'm using my real voice

If I walk into a store and something falls off and I then have to pay for what would you say get out of my store? Yeah, piece of shit. I have to ask what voice did you use for captain hook and can you give us a little sample? Oh, man I think I think honestly I just used like a generic pirate voice. We got to hear that like what bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo bobo Peter Pan you think you're all that in a bag of chips. Hey JPC Get out of the bathroom stop running your lines in the mirror. You're on in three seconds. I'm on it. Okay.

Hey boys, it's all down. The PC we need you to get out of the elementary school. We need you to go back to the high school. We need to get on stage. You are late. Peter Pan. I've been tracking you. We need to get out of this Alaska. You need to put down the peanut butter. Okay, this is not your peanut butter. You need to go back to the high school. One more bite, then back to the high school.

You are an hour late for your introns. Okay. So it's a game of swords, is it's Peter Pan? Well, I can play a game like that. JPC, you need to stop dueling with your penis at the urinal, you need to get back into the high school. The penis always whips. Mm-hmm.

You're done. The penis might hear that the sword. It's lying. Blu-blu-blu-blu-blu-blu-blu-blu-blu-blu-blu-blu. How do we get a clip of me in high school? We can go back to anything. And the people, Blu-blu-blu-blu-blu-blu-bl? We can go back to anything. And if people, Blu, blu, blu, blu, blu,

Oh, yeah, I see, they have an open. Blu, blu, blu, blu, see we can go back to anything. What the fuck did I just see? Oh, we can go back to anything. Blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, roo. That's a dinosaur. Blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, blu, the first, uh, signing of a dance or let's, um, we promised that we would use

this power to investigate some of the best riddles that we did throughout the year. Aaron, what was your favorite riddle that we did this year? Um, the one that, uh, I had a hard time saying because some of the words were too big, but, uh, I loved it. And I mean, you got it very quick. What does it mean? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. it very quick. This ritual is called Picture the Tourists. I have a manual focus camera said Sherman Shutterbug to his friend Sal as I sat next to each other on a tour bus. Mine is auto focus replied Sal. It's much quicker because the camera measures the distance

to whatever I'm photographing and focuses automatically. Then I think we'd better change places, said Sherman. Why? They were both sitting next to a pretty woman that they would never be able to talk to because they're freaking camardards. And they had to switch places because they both pissed in their pants and they couldn't smell like they're on piss because that drives women away.

They were on a double-decker bus but they were up on the up top part and it was raining and their cameras were getting ruined. One of them had big old bug eyes and one of them had tiny little BDIs and their cameras only work for certain types of eyes. The camera was the mother. She stood on the block of eyes. Hey. Bob, Bob, Bob.

Bob, Bob, Bob. Shrubbing shutter bag. Is that his person's name? Two more minutes and we still qualify as getting it pretty quick. Well, quick for us. Quick for us takes 50 to 20 minutes to improv seeds. Let's see how they get each other. Speaking of quick for us, let's take a break to hear from my sponsor, Nessie Quick.

Jellimook. Quick, quick, drink your chocolate milk. What's happening in your quigga to work? What's happening? You're quigging to wise. I'm going to give you hints. Okay, I would love some hints. Did Sherman want to change places so that he could get better pictures for himself? No.

Was Sherman originally sitting next to a window? Yes. Was the window open? No. The window was tinted. Oh, is it tinted window? Hmm. Is it the vinyl's cloth?

Is it nighttime? When it was cracked. I will tell you, this answer is deeply unsatisfying. It seems like episode one. Is it sex with When it was cracked. I will tell you, the answer is deeply unsatisfying. This feels like episode one. Is it sex with Adal? Oh, boom! And he dribbles to the middle. He dribbles and he dribbles.

He don't see it. Joe said you are never fun. He dribbles and he dribbles and he dunks it. How much dribble dribble, dark? Boy, so no, but seriously, was it sex with me? Yes. But the answer to this riddle is, South camera focused by measuring the distance

to the object in front of it, which would be the window of the bus. Sal's pictures of objects outside the bus would, therefore, be badly out of focus. But autofocus does not work when the distance is very small. Sherman wants Sal to sit close to the window so that the camera would ignore it and focus for weight. So that the camera would ignore it and focus for great distance. It would take good pictures. All I know is these dudes are freaking nerds

and I wouldn't talk to them if you gave me a million dollars because they're freaking nerds. Okay, Aaron, let's see a scene where Adel and I are two freaking nerds on the bus. You've each paid you $5,000. They're by completing your transaction. And now you are forced to talk to us. Excuse me. Um, hello. Hello.

You have the skin of a woman and we have, oh, no, I did it again. It's okay, I'm sure I'm making it. No, you're really confident that I'm not wearing a skin coat. Ha ha ha. I, I, I'd wear a skin coat if you wanted me to. Not like a condom. Did you, speaking of a skin coat,

did you know that my family's coat of arms is a, a broad sword covered in eagles? I'm a 14th generation Scottish. What do you do for a living? Oh, I'm a serial killer. That's why I said something about the skin coats. I kill people. Well, you wound me, the lady.

Ask me what my favorite way to kill is. What's your favorite way to kill is? I'm stabbing, stab, stab, stab, stab, stab. We're having fun. Oh. I'm sorry, I ate peanut and I have a peanut allergy. You have a what allergy? A peanut allergy. A what allergy?

A what allergy? A peanut allergy. A peanut allergy. A decent apology? Well, you shouldn't have this Peter Pan, I have in my bag. Oh, you have the high school musical Peter Pan in your bag. It's a high school musical. Can we see it?

Mm-hmm. I got a crow. Ah, ah, ah! For the dinner, for the dinner. That's that damn crocodile. Oh, wow, that was a beautiful one. I am a lost boy, yo. Everybody knows my name.

I'm a lost boy, getting lost is my game. I'm the one who goes, er, er, er, ruffio. Er, er, er, er, ruffio. Lost boy, roll call. Who's on the roll call? Well, my name is Mikey and I'm here here to say I am a lost boy almost every day Well, we are the twins. We're friends and spits. We're lost boys. We're the shit. I Tick-a-bell I'm super green but but makes magic powder it seems. I'll see you later. I I need attention

That's what I do. I need a tip. Well I'm ticked, talk. I'm a crocodile. Clocking in my belly for a little while. Well, by the check, I'm the basketball and basketball. If she be on the court, you better go log. My name is sweetness. Number 34, Chicago Bears go into war. Wendy, darling. I like playing basketball. I got two little brothers, but I like playing basketball. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.

Yeah, we obviously had to cut most of that out because... And it went for another lesson. It went for quite a deal longer. We went through a lot of the most famous of the lost boys, but there was several copyright infringement that we hid. We hid a bunch of, what, it was inflammatory characteristics of celebrities. Just a... How good was my tinkerbell ride though, huh? Pretty bad. Yeah. I don't think so.

I mean, I blacked out. It was a... Let's go ahead and take a quick break and try and gather some more of our favorites unheard moments from the year. We'll be right back with more Hey Riddle Riddle. Year in review. Hey GPC.

Hey GPC. Uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Adel. And I'm setting up a website to prank him. Um, can I just need some advice? This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace.

I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Adel. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience and say let anything for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms.

Hey, Addle, come here, come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank GPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like is there like Online store like it set up on my website to sell product? Did you know that with Squarespace? You can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merchant create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand design your products and production and Inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money What is happening? Okay. Um, wait, what's going on with that? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just sending up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna shoot you. And I'm gonna use analytics, use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm going to improve my website and build marketing strategy

based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my Prank website, the Prank site too. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. Yeah, the website was for. Prank.

With Squarespace. With Squarespace. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Vettel? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine,

head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back. She's back. Hey, Aaron, can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Hey, Adeline and JPC. Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an impasse. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, how they're never truly is a middle of the woods?

No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually, so as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems, he has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help.

Have you heard of this? You seen this? Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices. And the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you owl, owl. Sorry, that also does so fast.

Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Mm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works, way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy,

just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist, and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Oh, dirty bread crumbs. Mm-hmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today

to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp. H-E-L-P.com slash riddle. R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the United JPMC.

I'm home. I am home. Who are we? What is this? I, clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday, and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite,

my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Money. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Mm-hmm. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place.

I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, kling, kling, kling, kling. I'm sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you, and for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel, and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Clint, Clint, Clint. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off over three million.

Oh, Clint, Clint, Clint. Over three million people have used rocket money saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rock. Stop, stop, stop, no, click, click, click, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwanted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rock at money.com slash riddle. That's rock at money.com slash riddle. Rock at money.com slash riddle.

And tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money, the website. I love you, Ruggamoney. Plank, plank, plank. And we're back. So just remember, if you heard that last ad, go to buysnakes.com. You could send snakes to anywhere in the world for one dollar snake. That was one of our cut ads because that business went over. So buy snakes.com

was a fraud business. Yeah, it turns out the snakes that they were sending were conflict snakes. And I invested $50,000 of my parents' money in that company. Yeah, so I put $40,000 of my own debts money into that business. And Addle. And Addle, do you have one? Do you do the money? Did you put any money in? The Bisonics.com. I actually invested in BuySnacks.com.

Oh, and now you're rich. Oh, I love snacks. What are some of your favorite snacks? Oh, I like kettle corn a lot. I like puppy chow, but I think it's like a regional term maybe. No, yeah, it's some column like muddy buddies or something. Yeah, poppy chow's a... I'm sorry, what part of the country calls it muddy buddies?

I'm sure people call it that. I know the country. Make sure those states are states anymore. Yeah, if you call it muddy buddies, you can't vote. You hear that Louisiana? No, no. You'll put yourself in. No, no.

I'm comfortable taking that stand. Louisiana can go fuck it though. No. If you think Louisiana doesn't call muddy buddies, you'll fall in full room, you'll see. We'll remember when Bob Boucher showed up in the third quarter of the muddy buddies, one of the water bowl.

I got a hawk, three miles back to Lafayette. I would say that, I'm not a big snack guy, don't really love chips, don't really love popcorn or anything like that, but if I have to snack, and I'm not a big thing of salty food, but if I have to snack, I like chalk, something like chocolate. We're different.

Oh, really? I love salty stuff. Yeah, salty is what it's like. I want chips, I want guacamole, I want popcorn, I want pretzels. Or I want a cold peppermint patty from the freezer. I want an ice-cold Pepsi and I want it to be fresh. Uh-huh. The way you just spoke reminded me that ice-cold Pepsi reminded me of some of the outtakes. Not too long ago, we did a character called Boston Big Bane which was a really fun

play where we imagine the world in which Bane was from Boston and who played that let's let's just do and we all took turns but let's just hear a few of the outtakes that didn't make it to the episode of Boston Big Bane. Yeah these were cut for time, not for content. Gotham. It's so good to see you, Gotham. How are you? I'm the mayor now, I guess.

I don't know. I've never read a book. I'm Bane. How are you? I'm not from a legacy family like the Kennedy's, but I'm going to try my best for ya Gotham how what's going on? Gotham go socks, huh?

Go socks. Fuck Batman go socks and And again, these were just several little catchphrases that were cut We're cut some monologues. But if you- Some of them were longer. You parked the car at Harvard, y'all. I was born in it. Oh, what's wrong?

Broke your back. Victory has defeated you, Chicago Cubs. Lobster rolls. Lobster rolls. The North End. Love Star Wars. The North End. Quincy Market, the red line, Charlie Cads. What a rich vein. We definitely remember all the things we said before and the additional content.

Do you all remember that riddle that I read that one time? You'll have to be more specific. Here we go, here's a riddle. Two naturalists were walking in the country. They were both keen to protect the environment and to conserve nature and wildlife. One said to the other, I was impressed by the way that you hit that bird. The second replied, yes, it was good,

but not as good as that large bird that you hit earlier. What were they talking about? Um, golf, my dear boy. You call a golf shot a bird. And if it's really good, it's an eagle. And if it's really good, it's a bird. So are you rich?

Oh yes, actually, all of my uncles are golf course superintendents, so I'm a freaking rich. Do you want the answer? Yes. Yeah, the answer was I grew up with my niece. The two men were assholes who beat up nature. One man had punched the bird, the other had later kicked the bird. Now hold on, I don't think so.

Sorry. Two men can't be assholes. Here, I'll show you the answer. If I know anything about men, is that they can't be assholes? Uh, wow. The two men were assholes. One kicked a bird and one beat up a bird. I mean, let me take a look at this.

Okay, I mean, I'll give you the thing. It's the bottom, uh, right-hand corner. Okay. I don't know why you're both doubting me. They were two golfers. Hahaha. Hahaha. Wait a second, let me see that.

Hahaha. Okay, let's double check our work. Obviously you were. The two men were assholes. No, the two men kicked it. Can I say that GDZ? Absolutely. There's some sort of disconnect here.

This is like Tom Riddle's diary that a team is. The two men were assholes. One kicked a bird, the other was a golfer. Why is that now happening? I got it. I got itholes. One kicked a bird, the other was a golfer. Why is that now happening? Aaron was taken to second look. Okay, here we go. Another opinion. Two men were assholes. No, I'm kidding. They were two golfers. And golf, how do you say this? Parlants? Parlants. One. I hate parlants.

GBC, we need you to get off the show. Hey, Rarora. We need you to get back to the high school in the past. One had hit a birdie, one under par, and the other, an eagle, two under par. This riddle is so easy because it's about one of my favorite things in the world, which is golf. I want to see a scene. And Adel, you are JPC's son, and JPC, you're passionate about golf.

And you just are, you really want your son to care about That that interest and have it be shared Stop embarrassing me It's it's 4.30 in the morning Brian. There's there's no one else out here. There's no one to be embarrassed It's just just you and your little dad It's just when you wake me up in the morning by standing on my bed and saying dab on your haters grave fortnight Yeah, I don't even know what those words are well Brian. It's 2047 when you wake me up in the morning by standing on my bed and saying, dab on your haters grave fortnight, I don't even know what those words are. Well, Brian.

It's 2047. Look, everyone says, everyone says crunch butts upside down. Not your dad, okay. Your dad does things, look around us, look who we are. We're in nature. Your dad does things a little differently, okay? Well, crunch butts up right now.

See? If I hadn't left my laser pistol back in the car That person would be toast right now because of the resource wars I Hate that we can turn people into toast. Yes. I mean, I'll eat it because we need to eat it because toast is the most nutritious of Any food here in the future, which is the present? Dad, yes, Brian. Yes?

Did you ever play Captain Hook in a high school production? Brian, that was a world to go. Boob, boob, boob, boob, boob, boob, boob, boob, Oh no Brian, the sickness is taking you too. Boob, boob, boob, boob, boob. Oh no, my sweet boy. Doctor, is there a doctor on the course? It's a golf course, there's gotta be a doctor.

What can I do, what can I do to help you? My son, he has the boob once. Oh, crunch butt upside down. But you, you, laser toes. I'm so, so delicious toes, tall, the sudden. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Oh man, yeah, and I asked us to cut that specifically from the episode because I do plan on naming my son Brian

and I did not want to spoil that name. I guess it's out there now. And you want to name your son Brian because the dog on family guy? Yeah, I wanted to name my full name, Brian, the dog on family guy, Patrick Cohen. That's his full name. Do you want kids?

Yes, not my own. I want kids. You're walking around the mall, you see a kid, you want to pick it up, run with it? No, I want kids to build it. Yeah, honestly, yeah. If I'm being honest, yes. I will, I have spent a lot of time with friends, kids,

and I think that more and more as I get older, I'm like, oh yeah, I could see myself having kids. They're adorable for like the little bursts that I see them, but you know, there's all the things like picking up their poop and having to cook the poop or eat the poop. Oh, that's the thing I don't wanna do. Do you want kids, Adam?

I don't think I do. I think I would like to be like, I like to or something. I like to. I like to spoil a kid, like I'd like to be like a two or something. I like kids, but I like to spoil a kid. Like I'd like to like kids. A nice place to visit. No one will live there. Yeah.

Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. I want to go on vacation to kids. I want to go to kids. Going on vacation to kids sounds awful. Aaron, what about you kids? I don't know.

They're so expensive. Also, I've spent a lot of my time in my 20s in like full-time childcare. Oh yeah. And I feel like I have a very realistic view of that. You're not too old for that. Not as a job, not as a job. You have been at full-time childcare, correct?

Yeah, I need a babysitter. What if I choke on my lollipop? It's been a shame, baby. And what if I watch too much TV? Yeah, I just feel like I am a realistic view of how impossibly hard it is to have babies. Oh yeah, it's hard and expensive. Kids are constantly trying to die.

That's sort of their thing, is they're always trying to die? But I don't know, their faces are really squishy and I kind of want to eat their faces. Speaking of kids, I think that we should travel back to one of our lost episodes. This is one- Oh, when the podcast used to be about solving the puzzle from the release of the 20-Series.

So this episode, you're probably going to notice, has a pretty big glaring audio flare in it. But we're going to go back to it anyway, because this is one of our favorite segments. It is a return to Swan Lumps and our old friend JP Riddles. Mr. Riddles. Oh, you get around children. Can I ask you something?

Yes, you there in the front. If it's not Penny's boat, who's boat was it? Shut up, you shut up. No more questions, I you monster shut up Mr. Widdles, Mr. Widdles yeah, you yeah, you're so the blonde girl though That does that look like a good hair color for you. I recommend fixing that it's not gonna go well for you sweetie Mr. Riddle calm down. She didn't die. She was frightened all right calm calm down front teeth Mr. Widdles, do you like being our babysitter?

And now I do I do I like being our babysitter? Now, I'd like being your babysitter, did I need the money? Both of you have the most questions I know. As you know, I do have a considerable amount of money that is being held by the federal government until I can prove that I'm a human person. Can you read us a chapter from one of your famous books while we're all indulged in a a 12 ounce bottle of surge. Yes, you can now. Mr. Widdles, what were the numbers that Desmond had to take into the game? Why are we just reading one of my books? Okay, I never at least fucking questions about a show. I would have thought four seats itself. Okay.

And Mr. Widdles, why don't you have kids of your own? Why don't I have kids of my own? Why don't I have kids of my own? Kids in neighborhoods say you got a broketic. They say that they don't work. Kids in the neighborhood said that you spent the better part of the year trying to make a pump of cum alive to be your son. Okay, well some people say puppets, some people say puppy. The answer to that question is in swan lumps 276.

A lump in the back of the goat. Oh no. Oh. Do you wanna hear the story of that? This is the only autobiographical Swan lumps I ever wrote. Sissy, Sissy. That's a blank journal. Uh oh.

That do you kids wanna hear? Well very very very story. Swan loves 276, the lump in the back of the goat. Yeah, but Mr. Widow's you're coveting crumbs. You just covered head to toe in crumbs. These are not crumbs. These are sequence from a sweatshirt I ate. Will you promise when you say back of the goat that you don't say it in the voice of Adam Sandler?

I will not promise and I won't say back of the goat. Because last time you said, shut up, shut up. Shut up. Now here's what's going on and you're back of the goat. All right. It was a dark and stormy, St. Patrick's Day morning.

When a little kid, let's just call him Billy. That's my name. Oh, is it good? Well Billy and his dumbass little sister who had a bad-died job, but it even worse personality Came in bother old. Let's just call him a GP riddles Why did Boone have to die? He was so handsome. They had just finished eating a sweet sweet sweet sweatshirt and all boy He had them secret crumbs dribbling and all down his chest and they asked him a bunch of

bullshit questions about how we spit oh I don't know 18 months trying to make a puppet come to life and eventually you shoved a little puppy's organs in the puppet and tried to push it all together and make that laugh but you know that didn't work out so well for old JP Reynolds and so yeah he uh said put out a monster more than said I'd like to watch everyone's kids in a charge nine dollars and those fucking asshole parents Haggled him down to seven fifty an hour Which he can't live on but they were like, you know, what is life for a man like you in any way? He what he used that entry point to sneak into that house and always stole all the toothpaste and medicine pills that he could

And he shoved him down his mouth And he ate those things and he chewed them all up and it gave him super strength As he took all the counter cushions and he taped them to his bodies on the police ball It's couldn't get him and it walked into a bank and he said I'll have all the money in the bank and Ting Ting Ting Ting, oh, they shot him and it hurt. Oh, it hurt It went right through those counter cushions an old JP riddles Dine he died and he cursed those damn kids Billy and bad die I got to JP riddles funeral. Oh, or a relative is speaking

JP riddles has faked his death more than any man. I know it's almost weekly So I'm gonna keep reading the speech I've read every time. I have a few things to say. A ghost! It's the puppet boy with a puppy organ. That's an ambulatory puppet with puppy organs. I feel like I knew JP Reynolds better than anyone. He was a terrible man. Crunch crunch in the butt! What was it? Crunch in the butt? What was the thing? I don't know what you're talking about.

We're in present day. Why would I know a future phrase? I mean, it's probably something cooler crunch but upside down. I think I knew JP Rittles better than anyone. Oh, hey JP Rittles. No, my name is John Patrick Cohen. I'm the author of the very popular JP Riddle's books where there exists a world where a character named JP Riddle's writes a popular series of books called Swanlubs. Oh like when he's naked dude. Oh is this like a lemon?

Nancy. Oh I missed JP Riddle's. I would be honest with him. I don I missed JP riddles. I would be honest with you. I don't know, I hate him. Also, has anyone drawn JP riddles yet? I've heard, and this is folklore, common folklore, that he cannot be drawn because the vestige that you would draw would be so dreadful, that it was chilly or very wild. I heard that a lot of times that local kids,

when they're going to the prom, will pick up JP Roodles on the side of the road and he's in a full white dress. And he'll say he just needs to be dropped off. And when you pass a certain house, he'll disappear. Then you go up to the house, you knock on the doorbell and the mom comes to the door. And she says, daughter died a hundred years ago.

Yeah, you heard that from a bunch of kids, huh? Or maybe you said it. And maybe somebody wrote in and said, if the daughter died a hundred years ago, it holds that mom. So answer is 114. With whenever I am walking, because Chicago's a big walking city.

Whenever I'm walking past a school and I see kids together. Say the whole thing, it's a big walking, Phoenix city. It's a big walking city whenever I'm walking past a school and I see kids say the whole thing It's a big walking Phoenix city. It's a big walking Phoenix city. We love I'm walking by school as he kids up playing I always gathered them around and I say what are the stories? What's the gossip? Tell me the secrets that are that are? Yeah, what's what's the what's the news? Tell me what's happening for all the children in the school and they give me the secrets that are. That's good. Yeah, what's the news to tell me what's happened for all the children in the school and they give me their secrets in there

and I go and I pass them on to adults. I'm like a Johnny Appleseed, but not. But it's not. But it's not. There are folks on the menu. He plants seeds, I steal the mouth words from kid. Is that a big thing? You know, it's been quite a been, it's been quite a year.

It's been quite a year and- A day than nostalgia music. Oh yeah, KJ, the nostalgia music. Thank you, thank you letters. And I very much enjoyed the year that I've spent with you. And that is not- You're only looking at Aaron. Yes.

You'll get one to you asshole. All right, shut your fucking mouth. You'll get one. I very much enjoyed the time I spent with you Aaron. Thank you so much. Thank you for your retails and thank you for your honesty Addle at all. Hey, hey, sorry. I was walking out the door What's up? No, keep going keep walking out that door and walking to the driveway and there you will see a brand new Lexus Oh my god. I wanted that. What's that? You got that? Oh my god. Thank you so much. You're very welcome What year is this? What's that? What year have that? Oh my God, thank you so much. You're very welcome. What year is this?

What's that? What year is this? Why? It's Christmas Day, young man. Oh. Ah, this is the 1921 Lexus. Oh, wow. Yeah.

Yeah, it's just two horses. Yeah, it's two. Pulling aside this as Lexus. Well we hope you had a good time hearing all the cut for air or quality buzzies and rites. We wanted to still release an episode, even though it is the holiday season, we wanted to make sure that if you're traveling that you still had an episode to listen to. So if you do us a huge favor over the holidays, if you're still at home, tell a family member,

tell a friend, tell a neighbor about Hey, neighbor about Hey Riddle, and enjoy yourself. Goddamn it. Yeah, and especially if they have different political views than you. Get into a political, a heated political argument, then stop it and say, hey, one thing we can both agree on, Hey Riddle Riddle. And they'll say, what is that?

And then just put that on and listen to 16 episodes and have the time of your life. One thing I want to mention before we get into our final advice here, we want to thank Lauren and Ben who created an incredible website called riddiesandpuzzies.com. You're going to want to check that out and that has all the Puzzies and Riddies that we've ever used on any episode. And it's spoiler free too.

They have blotted out the answers to all of those. So you have to click on them to see the answers. So if you just want a recap or you're looking for an old riddle, thank you, Lauren and Ben, that is. We have full meltdown on our group text. Yeah, it was. How great it was. Yeah, how great it was.

It's so thoughtful and cool and helpful. People have been asking us to post those riddles, and we've been kind of on the fence about it because we're like, oh, we don't want to spoil the enjoyment for other people. Haven't heard it yet. But yeah, this is, this is such a cool thing and it's, it's, we didn't have to do it. So we say that it's like the website's like a, like a terrible auto zone and that it's a spoiler free. Oh my God.

Yeah, we would say that. JPC, do you have anything to plug? You know what? Yes, I would like to plug something that is very near and dear to my heart, which is soy nog. You're ribs? Yeah. Soy nog or almond nog, it's only in stores for a limited time. It's much better than egg nog, egg and octasite trash, but I love the fake version.

I don't know why. I've never liked egg nog, but man, soy nog. And your regular shirt that says soy nog and you have $80 peeking out of your front pocket. It's not brand. It's no brand. I haven't been paid off by a brand of soy nog, just the concept of soy nog.

You're a bit of a soy boy. Yeah, I'm a soy boy toy. I have a soy boy. But you can find this little soy boy on Twitter at at JPsoFly, Instagram at SharkBarkman. You'll see a lot of my spaghetti themed Christmas pictures But also yeah check out I'm sure that we're all involved with if you're ever in Chicago Come and see world news tonight at IO every Saturday at 8 in 10 30

I want to mention that we do have a lot of cool merch in our store at tpublic.com We have a really cool new shirt recently added art by Roland Coons. You can follow Roland Coons at Roland Coons on Twitter. Also our wonderful logo created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Morris, so please check those out. We also want to thank all our hashtag Whittleware users, people who bought shirts posted pictures on social media using the hashtag Whittleware. Some of those are at comedy nerd at slack and ferno at corrupted gem at St. Mia's Cathedral at antique anger at Unidark Warrior at Fiona M. in Young at mess girl. Fiona and mess girl, which is our Fiona and Kelly both

dressed as ridicule for Halloween, which is our Fiona and Kelly, both dressed as Ridiculous for Halloween, which is how they used her hashtag, where? Oh, that's cool. Cars and Pixies, Jane Trini 3, and our Prasawisio, our Prasawisio. You got it right. Is that right?

That's gotta be right. And then there's also one here, Erin, I don't know if this will ring a bell, Kathleen Keif. Mm-hmm. Who that? Oh, that's my sister. She's your sister, by the shirt? She bought a shirt, Kathleen Keef. Mm-hmm. Who that? Oh, that's my sister. She's your sister, boda shirt? She boda shirt.

She would wear. Oh, yeah. And she has a newborn baby. This is Mitch's baby. This is Mitch's baby. And, yes, she's getting that shirt all sorts of gross. Yeah. All the body fluids in there.

Yeah, because the baby pooped in the shirt. She has to cook the poop. She like, the baby? Yeah. The baby. Aaron, my baby is so soft. Aaron, you won't believe how soft it may be. Like a pillow.

Aaron, anything to plug? Yes. Follow me. Aaron, keep 10 on Instagram. Aaron, keep two on Twitter, which is still embarrassing. And I will post about shows and all sorts of other things there. Aaron, do you remember that time that we went to sign off and you said something a little

embarrassing? Bwap, bwap, bwap, bwap. Jupiter. Bwap, bwap, bwap, bwap. Do you remember that? Yes. Bye. I just want to say, hey, real, real.

Creates by Adolf Refin. Sorry, Aaron Keaton. And John Patrick Collins. Hey, new Snyder busy headed in. Now, Aaron Keaton, busy headed in. Now, are any parents in the middle of the night? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, That was a HitGum podcast.