Hey Riddle Riddle - #235: Colonel Popcorn

Episode Date: January 18, 2023

Another Classic episode of Hey Riddle Riddle. And yes, that means we get derailed almost immediately. But, hey, we also get to some riddles this week! So that's nice. Plus we've got a new super group here to save the day, the worst wedding DJ ever, a dermatological dunce, and an appearance of a classic HRR character. kinda. Enjoy!  Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to mail us something?  Hey Riddle Riddle  6351 W Montrose Ave #267 Chicago, IL, 60634 Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531) Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready.

I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready.

I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm readyy heeey. The international competition. He's making it up. He's making it up. No, I farted.

And then I was like, did people hear? Because I was ringing the bell loud, but the fart was pretty loud. So I lost confidence. Why are you here? You stepped into the middle of the town square, started ringing your bell. And what are you talking about? I'm gonna be put to death. I know I'm gonna be put to death after this, because I have to this up so bad.

And this is my third strike. Well, you're standing with stockades on you. They're, they seem to be ripped from the ground. So clearly you were in stockades earlier today and just stood upright with such force that you, I thought, I thought this is gonna get me back. I thought this is gonna get me back. I was like, this will put me back in the King's good graces. I will. Well, go on, man. What have you to say?

What news do you bring? It's a tournament and international. And I know there's only like two nations. Can I say I don't want to fuck with tradition, but here you, here you. I just, what are you getting? Listen up, listen up. Gather round, listen up. That's it. I'm gonna go back to the first place. I'm gonna go back to the first place. Can I say, I don't want to fuck with tradition, but here you here you, eh, I just, what are you getting?

Listen up, listen up, gather round, listen up. The thing about E is it's gender neutral. So it's like, here's a here you, as much better than ladies in gentleman. Well, I said this a lot. Don't give him a no, he won't have time to take it, he's gonna get put to death soon. Sorry, something about a tournament? Ah, listen, listen up, I mean, I like listen up, but it does feel a little like demanding.

Like, here, yeah, here, yeah, is more like, this is a suggestion, not an order. Like, do you want to hear? I'm not telling you to listen. I'm like, maybe you should hear. I'm gonna sit. It feels like we might be here a while. I'm gonna sit cross-apassass.

Sorry, go ahead. To sit in the mud, it's town square mud. You're sitting in the mud. It's town square mud. You're sitting in that? It's international. It's a big fight. It's an international riddle competition. We're all of the best riddleer. Good day.

Good day, too. It's free, man. It's free to the public. Of course, come on. No one would pay to do riddles. I'm gonna get put to death. The king's gonna kill my ass for sure. Oh, a message death the king is gonna kill my ass for sure.

A message from the king. Any person this day forward who shall do riddles will be executed. Man, I just got it. This is the this king is wishy washi. Sorry, I have to stop the podcast for one second. Something insane just happened to me. Sorry, it's a different character. No, we're going back to that. We know we would do improv on stage and Aaron would be like,

okay, everybody pause. I had something crazy. I just heard a pop in my knee, and I never wanted to shut up. So I put my hands down on my legs, right? Sure, yeah. And then I was like, what, there's something I'm wearing leggings.

I went to Pilates this morning wearing leggings. Not to brag. So far nothing to stop a podcast over. Exactly, but you'll see, Adela, I am so confident you're about to be on my side. You have no idea. Wow. I would bet my life you're about to be on my side, you have no idea. Wow. I would bet my life you're about to be on my side. And then I feel something in between my leggings and my leg,

and I go, I've been wearing these for four hours at this point. Oh, got it. You got a sock in there. No, you would think it's much smaller. I just pulled out from, it's on my thigh. I don't eat popcorn anymore. A popcorn kernel. Anymore. Wait, I'm allergic to corn.

I don't buy or eat popcorn. Someone's trying to kill you. Aaron, hold on. Someone's trying to kill you. They're putting kernels in your pie. Wait, Aaron, Aaron, is it in, it was in between your, licking in your leg, a little kernel of popcorn? Yes. What does it mean? Okay, now you understand why I had to stop the fun podcast. was in between your leaking in your leg, a little kernel of popcorn? Yes. What does it mean? Okay, now you understand why I had to stop the fun podcast.

That's crazy. You guys, that's so weird. Aaron, here's what I will say. What? I get that this is alarming to you, but it is not surprising to me. Does that exist? Yeah, can I say that?

Aaron, you are so adamant I have not seen you do that. Aaron, you were so adamant I would be on your side. And honestly, I don't know finding a piece of popcorn on your pants is worth stopping. What is in my pants, Adol? Serves that my guy, 100%. Casey, thank you. Oh my. It was in her pants, but Aaron,

and don't take this the wrong way. You are the type of person who I don't think it is unreasonable that you find a little popcorn in your pants. Yeah, Aaron. Without being Aaron, I love you so much. I love you so much. Sometimes you just have to know who you are. You're the type of person. Aaron, I love you so much. You're the type of person who would go to speak and suddenly realize they have a mouthful of tomato soup

and it would just go everywhere and you'd be like, I totally forgot. I had put some soup in my mouth this morning and I just been aholding it in my mouth all day. I don't know what you're talking about. I could compare DeGrey's Kelly all the time. I'm nothing but. I do think that if you think this is rock bottom, I think all some self-reflection has to be in play here

because I got to tell you this is the top. This is that you are soaring right now with a little piece of popcorn. You have said on the podcast how much worse it can get. I can't breathe, I'm spinning. I like it. I like it. I kind of thought you were like, I'm wearing tights. I went to Pilates. I at it put my hand in my like I said this feels weird. I'm not wearing tights I Thought I've been wearing tights all morning, and I have not wearing tights. I think it's it's something where I could see Aaron Aaron is in the back rooms of Harvard in some wood paneled room in the library

She's defending her dissertation for PhD. Yeah, and halfway through she stops. She goes goes, I'm so sorry. Can we stop for a second? You're going to love this. I just found a cat hair in my hair. I'm never owned a cat. And they say, please, please leave. Aaron, I have some theories though. I have some theories. So with the popcorn, do you have your own washer and dryer or do you have like a washer and dryer that you share with like other people in your building? I have my own washer and dryer. It's the best part of my life. Sorry, this is no longer a problem.

I truly think someone is trying to cook. Or Aaron Poisson. As per last week's episode, or sorry, this is directed towards JPC or JPC, as per last week's episode sure Aaron is slowly introducing Things she's allergic to just by happenstance appearing because she's gonna fake her own death Oh, okay, what also when I put into the last week's episode it could be the Aaron which one movie sat on a popcorn kernel. Oh, yeah Then she came home took her tights off backwards.

Now it's inside. Didn't know her tights are on backwards today, put on those same tights the other way. So really what she's doing, she's weighing her tights backwards with a popcorn kernel inside now. Aaron, I have a question that could be from it. If it is, I want you to remain silent.

I'm pretty well versed in biology. Could that have been an ovary? Hmm, pretty well. He's like a 75% almost there. I got 75% of my biology set. I don't know much about anything. Don't know much about nothing. That seems too small for an ovary.

Yeah. It's certainly a popcorn kernel. It 100% was. And you know what? I regret saying anything because I thought I would have to okay that hold on hold on wish you are she nobody says that about the king you shall be beheaded now. Hey my guy I was already getting executed okay so side back to my thing. Welcome to Hey Riddle Riddle. I texted Sean and I said, have you eaten popcorn this week?

And he just texted back no, okay. Okay. It's a podcast about riddles. I am one of your hosts. JPC with me is always my other co hosts. I am two of your hosts. That'll refine. And I'm Aaron Keith and I shouldn't have said anything. And she's having it all and she's got it going on and everything is fine. Throw my leggings up into the air in a freeze frame. I'm having it all. I'm a lamb with a bragging after crunch. Yeah.

Thank you, Casey. It's a mystery. I'll never have solved. Sorry about that. What is a riddle podcast if not a mystery podcast, Aaron? I think that this is the perfect place for you to bring, uh, to bring you little life mysteries. Okay.

Thank you. Toss out there. Maybe the biggest riddle of all. Maybe Aaron has done us a favor. Maybe she's given us a boon. Perhaps this episode is solely dedicated to solving why the kernel and the leggings. One of life's greatest riddles. A sad 31 year old feels a bump between her leggings and her leg. That feels like the the start of one of those like

new type of medication commercials. Introducing a medication to solve a problem that they're inventing. Look, hey, as much as I would do that. A merge tramp science. As much as I do that, I think we have four of these diet palindromes left that I really just want to just burn through the last four of these diet. Now, it will take us all episode to burn through these four diet balance riddles. We all know that to be true. Yeah.

And you know, I really like your beard right now, by the way. Oh, thank you. I think it's awesome. Now, we are about to see each other in person, I believe, at our, I think this, this weekend, right, at our live show in San Francisco. Yeah. Aaron, could you run so fast the kernel popped? And that might give us some answers.

No, but have I sit in a hot tub, I think it will. Uh-huh. Do you see we're going to see each other live? Tits on a hot tub. Okay. Someone's a never-nude. Yeah, you're going to see this beard in person. I will say it's longer than it, I think it looks on camera.

I'm close to getting rid of it. In a couple years, if you let that go, a couple of years, you'll have a raspute in beard, and then you'll finally be your true self. I did feel like I was like, maybe I'll just do a year. Maybe I'll see what I can do with a beard in a year, because I haven't really cut it at all. I kind of want to get that big Aziz top beard going.

Well, I can hear Mariah packing a suitcase. To me. Wow. Take a while to work with you and your beard is Aziz top. See, I would say that it's not her favorite thing, but I've had a beard the entire time that we've been together and for the probably the last decade of my life. And what she has enjoyed is she has enjoyed braiding it because it is long enough now that you can it can be braided

Maybe I'll do that for the live show Some like Norse braids into my beard. What about you taking requests? Is she taking requests? Yeah, you said she braids it. Oh Like for me. Yeah, I'd be like a little like devil, like the little hooks. You know what I'm talking about? The little, oh yeah, the two, the two, the two more like devil horn things. Okay, yeah, I want to need some like tiny little hair ties.

Like those ones that they do for like braces, like those little rubber bands. I mean, yeah. Ooh. Oh, one time I pick, you know, you get to pick colors for your rubber bands. I didn't have anyone in my life being like, maybe don't get I pick, you know, you get to pick colors from your rubber bands. I didn't have anyone in my life being like, maybe don't get Christmas colors, you loon.

Wow. You got older sisters. I know, they didn't care about me. Yeah, I love you Ruby. I know one of my life. I, one time got neon yellow. And that was just a month of my life. People may be like, what's wrong with your teeth?

I was like Like one day Everything's gonna work out great for me In her and how's that going? I found popcorn in between my leg even my leg today And she said one day so she has like plenty of time at all so yeah, you know It only has to be one day that things go right. Okay. Okay one day that things go right. Okay, okay. All right, let's do these power drums.

Diet power drums, we all remember how these are played and if we don't then we're about to get them. So let's do this one. Here we go, here's your first one. Celestial, Vernon. Celestial Vernon, now this is a word that's our rest. All right. All right, do you want to see a scene?

How come I see it? My favorite James Bond movie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. like you know some Marvel heroes to show up and help out but we're the star rats and we're here to help. Oh go time! That building is building it! Sorry, sorry, can I say my thing? I'm now-

The building is coming down! It's- it's- the building is going- an earthquake! I see it! I'm- I'm Captain Eyes. Who is talking? I'm one thing. Sorry, down here. I'm Captain Eyes.

My one thing is I can see what's going on I Have like a 175 peripheral. I'm sorry. I have I'm captain eyes Can you put me in your hand bend down and put me in my hand? Oh, oh the star rats are here According to my rat sensors that building is coming down I'm sorry what is going on sorry. We're the star rats. We have a power and we Scoop you up get you all up here, okay? Hey wait my pizza my pizza my pizza. Oh our tails are tied together

Oh, no, okay, okay, we're gonna die like this. Hold on. No, no, it's fine. I can hear it. Let me just, oh god, they're so slimy. Oh, untie these. I'll pick up your pizza. Uh, so you're the star rats? Uh-huh. Don't say it backwards. Or you might accidentally say,

oh, the star rats, I guess. Yeah, yeah. Uh, okay. What, what? Hey. And bite your thumb. Ow! fuck where the star rats according to my sensors He's thumb just got bit. Yeah, it's all the whole thing up the building came down Yeah, the building came down Building came down yeah, it stinks well back to the sewer boys Tell your friends. Tell them what?

Tell them the sorrets. Helped. According to my sensors, it's time to go. He's being censored. He said a lot about things. So he has sensors. It's so woke nowadays. Nobody wants, nobody lets you just say what we're all

thinking we gotta go we gotta have out well well that was the star that's okay here's your next one here's your next one liquid predator moves liquid predator moves liquid predator moves is this tough is this three words or two words? It is two words. It's just two words. I mean, stock. I think it's stock is what how a predator moves.

Okay. But I can't think of what stock will be backwards. That's, I think that the way that this is worded with it being three words is a little confusing. But I think it's like liquid moves goes together and predator goes It's like liquid predator moves, but it's not like a predator move. It's liquid move. Can I say once? I was in Pittsburgh and I ran into predator on the dance floor to rave and he had those you know those glow stick that go through your fingers that we've It and he was on clearly on Molly and he was just like doing all these like glow

sticks. They had the gloves with the lights on him. It was good for him. Yeah. He was losing his mind. Yeah. Honestly, a guy like that needs a vacation. Okay. Yeah. All he does is pred it pred it pred it pred it pred it pred it pred it all he does is pred it. You know, famously John Klaven Dam was the original predator and he was in that suit and then he was like, this suit fucking sucks and he walked off set. And then they got someone who was like seven foot two and they're like, this is much better.

Is that true? That's true. Because John Klaven Dam ever agreed to do something. Did you do something? This is before he was who he was. I think he was just like, he was a bound dude. And they're like, you can move well because he was who he was. I think he was just like, you're just about dude. And you're like, you can move well

because he studied ballet and stuff. But then he was like, this costume blows. And then they got someone super tall who was much better. It makes sense. And it all it is feels like, when you're like a face, to be like, oh yeah, let me just put on a costume

where you can't see my face at all. You're my friend. The predator was like five two. Just like a little odd winner? Predator was like five, too. Just like a little guy. Honestly, maybe yeah, because the predator going up against all those big muscle bound dudes and he's just like a little little little guy like jumping around. That's actually pretty cool. Liquid Predator moves.

Liquid Predator moves. So it's not swim. What's run swim backwards? Because it has to be the other word backwards. Yeah, but it's something like swim. Well, it's a word. I mean, it's not weighed. It's not.

Swim mues. Liquid. What else can you do in the water? You can wait. You can swim. You can you can splash you can slash you can slash you can splash Apex apex Zipa Apex Zipa It is not apex Zipa. It is a specific type of predator. So if you go in if you got bear wolf Charitable at all adult wolf

Flood full flow flow flow flow Guy in you got bear wolf shark at all adult wolf hmm Flood will flow flow. Oh, well flow. Holy shit. That's a great thing. Oh I like we're just there's no bad ideas at brave story. It is it is wolf low Aaron. Uh JPC you are a Grume at a wedding Addle you are wolf low the DJ and JPC you have a bone to pick with him about the music that he's playing at this wedding All right, this is DJ oh Well, and we're gonna play another song about the moon. This is mid van morrison's moon dance I want to say hey hey, hey, why don't we actually you know what guys? We're gonna take a little five minute break everyone's been going at it pretty hard and And we're gonna be right back in five minutes. Did you will flow? Yeah, hey, what the fuck you got to stop playing van Morrison?

You just fucking busted my wolf flow, dude. Hey, did you stop playing van Morrison? The Irish Elvis are you getting me lower your voice lower your voice? I Know you were only $50. Are you kidding me? No, I did not. Just the volume you don't have to lower like the timber of your voice. Well you're talking to an audio engineer so you can need to be specific. DJ Wolflow we sent you a list of songs that we wanted you to play. And so far, no, the line of family stone. Yeah, hey ya, like we're trying to have like a very classic wedding experience.

Bbf, bbf, bbf, bbf. Hey, nobody knows it, but when the eighth or ninth Van Morrison song kicks in, everybody gets on the dance floor. Now, you do have to be patient. It is a slow burn. I'm not gonna lie. Look, we only, I mean, I think people are only familiar with maybe look with the one Van Morrison song and I need to apologize Yeah, I should have read the room and realized this was not the type of wedding wear during Brunnai girl every time he says Brunnai I yell butthole I thought that would be fun and funny, but I got a lot of evil eyes I'd be honest with you I don't even think people would have heard it if you hadn't cut the music out to yell it

Hey, it's very important. Did I make a request? And can I make a request from the DJ? Absolutely, Michelle. Anything you want, I'm trying to care this, but yes, anything you want. Oh no, I'm, first of all, love it everything so far. DJ knows best.

What, let me write that down in case I ever get offered a sitcom deal from TV land. What thing Morrison's song did you want to hear? Can I hear it's on a van Morrison song? Can I hear where wolves of London? Did Van Morrison ever cover Warren's even? No Okay, so no that's okay. It's your day. It's your day Oh, I do love hearing the lyric little old lady got mutilated late last night.

Oh, good. Never mind, I think. Was that, that's a vice? Be saying that on the lyric? Yeah. His hair was perfect. I'm gonna go get some champagne and then try to pee in the surf. You're right. I am seeing a side of Michelle that I've never seen before. It is kind of concerning to me. Kind of concerned. It's your day, she said to you. I hate to turn down the bride. I did say any song about a moon, and we're also

London is adjacently about the moon, but I should, you know, I specifically only put on a blue hat. Yeah, I don't want to hear Warren Zeevon either, buddy. So it's not, again, I don't, you know, DJ Wolflaw. Yeah, just why don't you just play whatever you feel like playing, you know, we only have four hours of the wedding left. So, you know, knock yourself out.

No one's having a good time, but I can see that this whole thing was kind of a mistake anyway. So, well, I could break my own code, and maybe I'll, here's what I'll do. Hey, hey, it's DJ Wolflow. Oh, and we're gonna get everyone on the dance floor with a little, who's the, Nick Drake? Who's the guy who sings Pink Moon?

I think it's Nick Drake. Everybody up on the dance floor. Don't you have a computer in front of you? No, he does it. He's there is no computer. He's got two that more in his CDs. Is that Nick Drake? this is Pink Moon. Which is like the slow song in the history of music.

It's a very beautiful song, but it's just, it's very, very slow. I know, I know Blue Moon and I know Moon River. Do you know Moon River? That's Henry Moon, I do know Moon Dance, yeah. I feel like Moon Dance is a song that was like on the radio when I was a kid, on the classic rock radio stations. Bigger status while you're walking out too

than between me and you saw. I don't think my dad was a van Morrison guy. I think my mom may have been a more into van Morrison. I was not a van Morrison song until I saw Martin Scrooze, he's documentary The Last Waltz. And then you see him, he's in a velvet maroon jumpsuit, doing karate high kicks, and he's coked out of his gourd. And the minute I saw that film, I was like,

I'm a van Morrison fan. And now you're a van Morrison song? I was like, wow. I thought you were a human man. All right, picture an idea. We take the what van Morrison song quiz, are you? Which quiz? Buzzfeed. What?

Have I told you that Little Lady got me to lay it late last night as one of my favorite lyrics of all time? And you're saying that out loud to people? Yeah. Yeah. One of my favorite lyrics to start off for rock song is Lives. Her placenta falls to the floor.

Why they're in creation. How you go out there on stage and you sing that line is beyond me. A percent hits the floor. They also had a song about dolphins crying, which is pretty wild. Lightning crashes, dolphins crying, all of their songs are like. Shit, town was one of the noun verbs. Well, flow. Well, flow.

Okay, here we go. Here's, we only have two more of these diet pal and runs left two more. Okay. Okay, friend that sits on you. This is friend that sits on you. I'm sorry. Phoebe Phoebe. Monica and the muck. Chandler. You're a bug. BUD. A friend that sits on you. Friend who sits on you? Pow lap. Lap, pow. It is a lap, pow. I do want to say this again.

OK. JPC, you are, you wake up one morning and you have grown on your lap, you had grown on your lap of lap, pow. Dennis, it's just like a growth that talks to you that's in the shape of a human friend. Mm-hmm. Mm.

Good morning. Ah! Oh! Time to make a doctor's appointment. I'm not supposed to be here. Oh, no. What, am I still dreaming? No.

No. Call your doctor. What are you? I'm not entirely sure. I just know that I'm not? No. No. Call your doctor. What are you? I'm not entirely sure. I just know that I'm not supposed to be here. You haven't been taking good care of yourself. You got to clean your sheets more. You got to go to the doctor.

I mean, clean my sheets. How do you clean sheets? Oh, what? What do you mean? How do you clean sheets? How do you never clean your sheets? I'd get my bed soaking wet If I try to clean these like with a sponge you think that you're oh my god

You're cleaning it while it's still on the bed. No, I'm not doing that because I know if I if the bed gets wet Because I've had a bed get wet before it's ruined. It starts to grow like mold and stuff in there. Why why did your bed get wet? I was so, I totally misunderstood what a water bed was. Oh God. Cause it's a specific type of bed. It's not just any bed covered in water. Yeah, yeah.

Okay, so you're supposed to take the sheets off, put them in the laundry. The what? Okay, this is worse than I thought. I'm dialing. Here's, okay, it's ringing. Oh wow, you have a little phone. You have a little phone down there.

It's really cute. Call your doctor. Go for Dr. Demento. Hey, I have a request. Oh, you wanna hear fish heads? I wanna hear fish heads again, please. You got it then, who should I say requested? What's your name?

Latpal. That's it. Latpal? Latpal. It's not, no, I'm requesting jeremy i'm requesting this is for you want to hear perl james jermy on doctor de mento you realize what i do here kid right do you have it do you have a jermy like uh... you know cut you the parodies on the

novel that you have a lot of it for jermy maybe you know we can figure out that i'm looking on the computer here and that we do have the Budweiser Frogs did a Occupel a version of Jeremy no, I'm not I'm not listening for like an interpolation and more like a parody I guess What did I say? Well, you said the Budweiser frogs

Budweiser frogs croaking an Occupel a version of Pearl Dems Jeremy is fitting for Dr. Demento? I just don't necessarily know that it's a parody, right? Like, isn't the thing with a parody that the lyrics have to change? It has to be like, are the frogs doing like a thing of like, Budweiser, Spokane, or anything like that? No, it's once his Jair. The other one says me, the third says Spokane. I'm getting it in another fight. Once his chair, the other one says me, the third says spoken.

So it's a chair. I'm getting in another fight. I'll air with Dr. Demento. This happens almost every day. See. All right, here's your last one. Your last one. And then we will take a little break.

I think you guys are going to get this really fast. I say, big and fast. Oh, no. Classic. Okay, this one is pop up atless. Pop up atless. Pop up atless. Aaron's the dance one show. Aaron, it's not MAP, but it's almost MAP.

No, no, no, MAP is three of the four letters. MAPs. MAPs. MAPs, BAM. They don't love you like I love. Maps spam. Whoa. How do they not do a commercial for spam? Answer the right.

Commercials for spam. Well, the Monty Python sketch is almost a commercial. Yeah. I think that they could have done a what? Now, who what does that band? Yeah, yeah, yes. Yeah, yes, the yeah, yeah, yes, no, who, what is that band? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes. The yeah, yeah, yeah, it's gonna have done spam. It don't even like a salty.

Yeah. Yeah. No. This is Dr. Demento. Do you have a sorry? Don't hang up. Don't know how it's Jeremy. It's Jeremy again.

Oh, no again. We will be back. We will be back with more, well, will there be more rentals? Probably, after a brief break. One, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight,, JPC, you know how I love, he looks sleep, I love that he looks mattress, spanned, a spiss nights sleep of my life. I know not everyone is on board yet, so I secured a word-winning sleeper. Merrill Sleep.

She's right behind that door. Merrill Sleep. Whoa, she won the Golden Pillow for best sleep. That's right. Hey, Merrill. Hello, yes, hello, yes, I'm very well rested after sleeping on my midnight looks. Helix Madras.

Good to see you. Good to see you. Your naps are stunning. I just wanted you to tell people about Helix sleep how the Helix lineup offers 20 unique mattresses, including the award-winning lux collection. The newly released Helix Elite collection, a mattress designed for big and tall sleepers, even a mattress made just for kids. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, and Helix knows there's no better way to test out a new mattress than by sleeping on it in your own home.

That's why they offer a 100 night trial in a 10 to 15 year warranty to try out the new Helix mattress. Who do you, who, who did I think you were? I don't know. Merrill, I'm Merrill Sleep and I know everybody is unique and everybody sleeps differently. I just recommend taking the Helix Sleep quiz and you can figure out what mattress is

right cheap for you. I don't know if you're a side sleeper or you sleep hot or cold or if you sleep like me. Merrill Sleep. Yeah, choosing the right mattress is a real Sophie's decision. But don't just take our word for it, or Meryl Sleep's word for it. He looks has been awarded the number one mattress picked by GQ and Wired Magazine. It was even recommended by multiple leading chiropractors and doctors of sleep medicine.

Shhh. I don't think I thought you were the person that you were talking about. Who are, what a performance. He looks mattresses all come with a 10 to 15 year warranty depending on the model. Oh, stunning. Shhh. Helix mattresses all come with a 10 to 15 year warranty depending on the model. Stunning. Yeah, look, he looks as offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners.

Go to helix sleep.com slash riddle. This is their best offer yet. And it will not last long with Helix better sleep starts now. Go ahead and give her the Academy a snore. A snore? Academy a snore? You know what? You mean the Academy is gnaw.

Glint close to falling asleep. That's why you're here. Oh yeah, I got that a lot. Hey, Adel, hey, Aaron, I got a bone to pick with the two of you. Sure, yeah, I wore the skeleton outfit just because I figured this was coming. Happy Halloween a few months early. It's not yet the...

What is it? So you know how the two of you, I was like, guys, I am always so hungry for lunches and dinners and the like and you, jokers, told me, oh, JPC, it's okay, all you have to do is take some, you know, American paper currency, tape it to your front door, close the door, and then wait until someone brings you food. Well, I kept opening the door, and the money was gone, so I had to tape more money to my door. I think you think you didn't work at all. Oh, door cash. Door cash.

Yeah, you did door cash. We told you door dash is the number one thing to you. What the hunk? With DoorDash, you'll enjoy next level convenience with delivery in the hour, making it easier than ever to get whatever you want delivered to your house, whether that be back to school supplies or whatever it is that you eat. JPC, which I don't know, what you eat. I eat back to school supplies.

But what? JPC, all your favorite retail, grocery, and convenience stores are on the app. So you can chop everything, your favorite retail, grocery, and convenience stores are on the app so you can chop everything, your kids, your dogs, your family, might need for back to school. Hey, personally, just yesterday, I bought some marshes homemade premium quality buck eyes, you know, those candies that are chocolate stuff with peanut butter. I just got those from DoorDash and they were on my porch within 20 minutes and it's very dangerous because they're delicious.

Did you fill your belly and your pantry? Yes, did you fill your backpack? I did. Okay, well then DoorDash has come again for the gold. I remember distinctively the stress of going back to school and going from store to store to get all my favorite snacks and Pencils and pencil cases and all the things that I needed me and my siblings And I remember how stressed my mom was and I know that she would have loved to have door dash

So she could be prepared before the big back-to-school day arrived So you can stock up with go-to breakfast lunchbox staples and brands that you love don't eat my school supplies JPC You can see put that away. Never school. Put that trapper keeper down. Your mouth is too small. Never been told that before. Shop door dash to get everything you need for the back to school season delivered right to your door.

Order now for stress free back to school shopping. Use promo code riddle to get 50% off up to $10 value. When you spend $15 or more at convenience, grocery, or retail stores on DoorDash, that's 50% off up to a $10 value. When you spend $15 or more, promo code riddle, don't forget JPC because you keep eating those school supplies, that's code riddle for 50% off your next order terms apply. At all, JPC keeps eating my gel pens.

Thanks DoorCash. I mean, no, that's the one. That one didn't work. That one's bad. Hey, JPC. Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Attle. And I'm setting up a whole website to prank him. Okay. Um, I just need some advice.

This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not mad at you, we're pranking Apple. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stay in doubt and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website engaged with your audience.

And so let anything for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here. Come here. Come here. Hey, what's what's going on? I actually, I want to prank GPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and

shipping are handled for you, saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics, use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build

marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website, the prank site. Well, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. Frank. With Squarespace. Yes, Rinses. You can connect to your store to Vedent Dirt Party Tools

to extend the functionality of your website. Hey, JPC, hey, JPC. What's up, Adam? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine Dude, we got her anyway if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine head to squarespace.com for a free trial And when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain Oh, she's back. She's back. Hey Aaron. Hey Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked!

But how? I don't know. Ha ha ha. Hey, Rick, go Rick! Aaron, not to dwell on this, but definitely to dwell on this. Where on your leg was the colonel found? Was it on the thigh? Is my question? Exactly. Yeah. It was right between like halfway point between knee and hip.

Okay. So here's what I'm thinking during the break, I did a little bit of investigating in my mind palace and a kernel on your thigh. Where can you get a thigh and it includes a kernel, KFC. You're supposed to go to KFC. Is there a KFC near where you live? I hope not. Go there, you're gonna find the next answer. That's something I don't wanna know about myself. Yeah, I don't wanna know. I actually never tell me.

You're being light on a scavenger hunt. I learned there was a Jimmy John's near where I live and that fucked me over. I don't really fucked me up. Yeah, it's a kick my wall in the fucking nut. That's not like you. It's not like you ever tried to do. So good.

I am, I'm going to need to journal about the fact that I thought everyone would gasp and be like, oh my gosh, it's so crazy that you found a little bit of popcorn under your pants. And instead, you guys were like, yep. OK, it's the Monday. Honestly, I'm popcorn in your pants. Aaron, I know that this sucks to hear,

but on the other side, it is sometimes kind of exciting to be like, I do have something to talk about in therapy this week. I have so often, so often I'm like, oh yeah, like what do I talk about? I guess I'll just start talking and something will come out, but this one gets like, hey, clear your schedule. For the next hour, I have the topic.

Yeah, I think finding, I was, I wasn't expecting just food in your licking. Like if I had put on a condom and found like a small bird or something, that's wild. Or like, that happened to you. That happened to you, that happened some months to the people I know. Happens lots of guys. I always sort of beat myself up because I feel like I'm a very spacey person and I'm not like totally with it all the time in reality. And I went to Pilates and Pilates is all about like being aware of your body and

getting into your body. How did I not notice a popcorn kernel the entire time I was like staring at my legs. Oh, doesn't make any sense. I'm sorry. You don't need to lose the forest for the trees Aaron. It's it's it's very believable that you could just kind of miss that small detail. Yeah, it's hard though, but it's hard. No, hey man, I agree. It's fucked. What did you do with did you throw away the kernel? Let's hope not. No, I mean, I mean, I did something. You know when you're like, you tasted it. No, you know, I mean, I did something. You know when you're like, sort of, you tasted it. No, you know when you're in a moment of like sort of being stunned,

like where you just are sort of numb and like scared. So I looked at it in my hand when we were doing it. Aaron, go ahead and just assume that all of the things that happen in your mind do not happen in our lives, so we will need you to walk us through the process. So don't say like, you know when, because I don't, I actually don't. When you're an Aaron, and you're in a state of shock, you might be an Aaron. It was sort of staring at it,

and I was listening to you guys being like, boop, boop, boop, I'm going to get, and I was like, huh, okay, this is a popcorn kernel. And then in a sort of sense of like shame, I just sort of let it drop to the ground. And I'm not a litterer, especially not in my own home, because you know, I'm a bit of a shame, I just sort of let it drop to the ground. And I'm not a littler, especially not in my own home, because you know, I was so much, it's like a shameful thing to find a little bit of popcorn between like you and your legs. So I just sort of let it drop to the ground. And I almost as if we have in the same room as you guys, I was like, they're not going to notice.

And then I was like, I actually do feel scared enough that I'm distracted and they're going to sense my distraction. So I should be honest, but that was a mistake. Um, yeah. Aaron, I'll tell you, there was, there was a time, this is maybe a few years ago. And I, I was like out all day and I came home and I sat down in like my computer chair. And then when I got up, I like saw that there was like a dark smudge on my computer chair. I then when I got up, I saw that there was a dark smudge on my computer chair. I was like, what the fuck?

And then I looked at the back of my pants. And there was a dark smudge on my pants. And I was like, is this chocolate? And I tasted it and it was chocolate. Oh no, no. Yeah, but the first thing that I did, the first, I didn't smell it first. The first thing I do was taste it.

Because my brain said, is this chocolate? When did I say chocolate? You should never trust yourself again. I'm serious. After I did that, and it was chocolate, I was like, 100% this could have been poop. Why did I ever assume it was chocolate? I would like hire a full time chat room for myself if I did that.

I go, I actually, I cannot be trusted on my own Yeah, I gotta say I gotta say brother. That's the biggest fucking role. I have ever heard of in the personal Wild I said Jesus take the wheel. I'm gonna check this if this is chocolate Then the worst way that you can with taste And the thing was it was like I must have like sat on chocolate like on the train or something, because I was like, I don't have any chocolate in the house. Like it's not, it ain't mine.

If that was poop, I'm gonna find the guy who shit that, because I will, I will be eating your poop. Here's what I think happened. Either somebody has sweet, sweet poop, or it was absolutely train shit, and your brain tried to immediate, your it was absolutely train shit and your brain Try to immediate your brain was like my brain deleted it. I don't know. I don't know the information of the sensory He's like chocolate my dude. I don't know what you're doing

I'm gonna send you a signal that that's chocolate So you can go on and never never dwell on this again Do you think that if poop in general tasted like chocolate? I think that people would eat it. I don't think anyone would talk about it. I think that it would be like one of those things that you just don't bring up in places. I know what you guys can hear me typing,

but I'm on LinkedIn trying to find a new podcast to join. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Uh, good luck, Aaron. They don't have fun like this on the fucking daily, okay? They don't talk about what if Boop or Jocelyn on the daily. Fun like this, huh? Anyway, when you looked at someone's LinkedIn, I think that they show you get sent the most recent emails that went to your LinkedIn. So if you're looking up at X on LinkedIn, they know. Oh, yeah. Just heads up. LinkedIn is pretty fucked up. up at X on LinkedIn, they know. Oh, yeah. Just a heads up.

LinkedIn is pretty fucked up. Don't go on LinkedIn. Let's all stick to the social media sites that we know and love. Like, Twitter. Like, Twitter. And, uh, Patriot, FrontStorm or whatever. Oh, there's the ones I'm on. Hey, there's the last riddles that I forgot to mention.

Again, I've been to three times. We're from Tim. Thank you so much, Tim. These riddles are from Theo. I don't know when Theo gave me these riddles, but they gave them to me. They handed them to me in person. So I'm assuming it was at one of our live shows from a long time ago.

They also wrote a very, very nice note. But then they provided some riddles. And they said that they made them with love. Isn't that fun? Oh, you know what? Maybe I've never met Theo and they ma that they made them with love, isn't that fun? That's so sweet. Oh, you know what? Maybe I've never met Theo and they mailed these to us as well. That's also a possibility. Yeah.

Oh, how's Theo let us know? Let us know. Anything new in the mail box? Hey, you know what, that's actually a great thing. I was going to bring that up. We got a ton of Christmas cards. A lot of people, a lot of people send us there like Christmas and holiday cards. I put them up on my downstairs fridge for the holiday season.

So thank you to everyone who sent us those cards. And yeah, and you're in, please, if you have riddles that you'd like to send us, riddle books, someone, some wedding invitations, we will always take those wedding invitations. One day we'll come. He's to safety deposit boxes. You can tend us anything you want.

Yeah, getting that mailing address is 6351 West Montrose Ave number 267 Chicago. We're only six zero six three four. Make it up to Hey Riddle rental and then we will we will go and pick those up and don't send us loose chocolate. Los chocolate No, it's gonna be very tempting to send us a little boxes of chocolate or poop and make us play that on a patreon one day But I guess what I'm not gonna be fool fool me once shame on me fool me twice shame shame These riddles come from the oh Oh me three time For me four times I can't keep doing this I can't keep doing this. I don't know how many times I have to say shame Shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim-shim- and go traveling at night. You will see me more than hear me, but should you be to dense, aside from sight and sound, I will assault another sense. Is it old timing these programs?

No, I quit my answer and I support Adel's answer. It's like Edward R. Morrow TV. It is a scunk. Theo also included some little notes next to the rental clues. Like they're nocturnal and they make very few sounds. And then my favorite one was just stinky with the two exclamation points. They definitely say if you remove the stink land or whatever the where the spray is produced that they make better pets than dogs. Even. That can't be real. make better pets than dogs, even. That can't be real. I did.

I did. I didn't, I've met one person in my life who had a pet skunk and I don't, it was not very well behaved because I think it was like, I don't know it. I don't, are they like even domesticated? I think they're like wild. I don't know why I imagined raising them from a little, a little fag. From a little skunkling. When you said they weren't well behaved,

I imagine them like drinking a cool orange Doritos and Pepsi and like gaming and yelling at their mom. I don't know why I pictured them as like a misbehaving child and not a misbehaving animal. I was in college and I was at a party and I think and I could be misremembering this because it could have been the person who had this skunk's

place that I was at because I didn't know any of, I didn't know know where I was. I wasn't familiar, this was like a friend's house. But I think it was a person who had a pet skunk that brought it to someone else's party and it was just running around. And I was like, no, you can't do this. Like, it didn't have a stink land,

but it was still like, you could just like, bring a skunk into someone's apartment. Yeah, that's a wild fucking move. You guys never been sprayed, right? Never fucking move. Yes, never been sprayed, right? Never been sprayed. You have to be never, never. My car's been sprayed. Yeah, teens tagged your car.

I don't really want to talk about it. Tell me about juice or something, is that what you get it out with, Aaron? I think you soak a popcorn kernel in your legs. That's how you get it. No, I've never been sprayed. I'm basically a queen who's very classy. Everything's gone right for me in my life.

I feel like it. I feel like a real queen. If I see a skunk, I'm pretty, I'll give it a wide berth and I won't like go near it because I don't wanna be sprayed. But I am constantly in fear of my dog finding a skunk because my dog would go right up to that skunk and get sprayed.

We had my, what I We had my last apartment, Arlay and Laura, who lived upstairs in our mutual backyard, their dog got sprayed. Ardog was in the house luckily, and that dog, I mean, it gets on that fur, and there's, I mean, it's, your dog is fucked. I think they had to cut some of the fur off the dog because of just how strong the stink was deep it got it is fascinating to me. Skunks have this spray ability. Yeah. You think of like porcupines can like shoot their quills.

Armadillos can roll up into a little armored ball. Turtles have like this huge like the animal kingdom has like superpowers and then you think of us, and we're just soft, soft-bellied things that just run and tear from everything. We invented music. That's what we got. I don't know, we got the big, we mostly caused harm. The birds, the birds.

We just copied the birds. An elephant, an elephant uses his drug to roll up some music on a music stage, throw it away. We just copied the birds. An elephant, an elephant, like uses his drug to like, do roll up some music on a music stage, just throw it away, like, well, humans are never gonna fucking hear it, it's a wide play. Ha-ha-ha-ha.

Ha-ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha-ha. All right, well, let's do another one of theos riddles, okay? When cleaned, then find your sins absolved. When named, then find this riddle solved Not white nor rainbow hue nor black that keeps the rain from off your back Umbrella wow, I like this one. This is fun umbrella window are Tree and you read it at one more time no, unfortunately, Adel got an umbrella window car tree. This is an only-connected rental.

I was trying to try to give you a little mistrack there. Yeah, one more time. Here we go. When cleaned, then find your sins absolved. When named, then find this riddle solved. The dendum on that one is, that's just how riddles work, which I think is fun because that's a nothing-lied, but it is.

It rhymes, so it's part of it. Not white nor rainbow hue nor black, that keeps the rain from off your back. So is it clear if it's not white, rainbow hue or black, I would think like a pain of glass or something? Which I love that. I love where you're thinking with glass and it's not glass and a roof. where you're thinking with glass and it's not glass. And then a roof? I mean, that's close. Like that keeps the room from off your back. I think that's the roof.

That is the roof of clothing. What? Aaron, quick. We have to sell this. This son of the hat. The hat is the roof of clothing from lids. Yeah, a guy comes in and will lids me toids videos like I got an idea. What about a hat? They're like, where do you work, dumbass? I love something going into home depot and be like,

can I get the new Detroit Tigers snapback? You got a root on them, right? My house is fucking wet as a whistle. Can I get like a hat for the house? Do you guys sell those like a hat? I can put on top of the house. I don't know. I'm just spitball here. I've never done laundry before. I need a half of my house. So it's close to roof. Yeah, roofing is part of it that keeps the rain from off your back like roof. I think is that's what they were trying to get you to think of. Top of a house. Top of a house to you. So we still haven't gotten it, but it's part of it. No, so we still haven't gotten it, right? So just checking, but roof is part of it, and it's not house. The glass was pretty good. That keeps the rain from off your back is does point to roof, but roof is nothing else. Tent. No, tent is good.

Oh, no, it is not something that is like a roof. That answer is pointing you to roof. That part of it is pointing you. To roof. Dog house. When cleaned, then find your sins absolved. That is. When named, then find this word will solve.

Not white nor rainbow, you nor a white. It's a church of a roof. It's a roof of a church. Steeple. Ah. Inside. There are other people. No, it roof of a church. Steeple. Inside? There are the people. No, it is not a steeple. You've solved that fourth line, which is like roof is where it points, so I would move

on to something else. Because you're kind of trying to triangulate the answer from the four clues. And what are the clues is, if you get an inense, the name of the rental. I see. Okay, okay. So what about when cleaned, when cleaned, then find your sins absolved? Soul. Oh, soul.

Soul cleaning. I don't want to rock around it. Sorry, close by. That's so coughing. I don't damn it. Skin, no. Not skin, not soul. This one's hard.

It is very extra. You give us a hint. Your sins absolved. I've kind of been trying to guide you in the right direction Yeah, but I'm dumb Win clean collective soul what what what do you this is a kick a phrase when cleaned and find your sins absolved Cleaned is the operative word clean does included in the phrase mop it up my dude or I would say just clean sweep sweep in the phrase. Mop it up, my dude.

Or I would say just clean. Sweep, sweep. Sweep, clean sweep. Sweep, sweep, sweep. It's not clean, but that's, you're, I mean, clean. Oh, from the windows to the walls. This is fresh, you're starting fresh. Rain.

No, clean, clean, clean, rain. Clean, fresh start, clean. Mopping clothes, capitalism. Sweep, salt. Oh, oh, clean, um, mopping clothes, wrap-tism, sweep, soles. Oh, oh, oh, okay, okay. I'm gonna add another line to this riddle.

Okay, because I found another word. Okay, here we go. When cleans and find your sins absolved, when named and find this riddle solved, when acting, you have to say, your lines, your name,

I'm sorry, we're not auditioning, you have to say your name. Sl. Oh, I'm sorry. We're not dishing you have to say your name slate Clean slate clean slate funny how you guys got the Arctic one immediately You're my hands that I'm willing to shave yeah, when cleaned I'll shave my hands when clean then find your sins absolves like a clean slate We're in your age HBO said you almost got the part and then they saw a kernel fall out of your pants. I don't know. They deserve someone better. That's a yes.

Uh, white, not rain but you in a black slate is gray slate, gray. And that keeps the rain from off your back. Rooves are often made out of slate. A gray slate roof. Mm-hmm. mm-hmm. Is that okay? Is that like a Game of Thrones character? Yes, looking to him of gray slate roof.

Okay, here we go. You guys did a great job with that, and that was very hard, and I think you both deserve. That was rough going. A patch on the back. I think you both deserve a patch on the back. Okay. New skin, baby skin.

I am grown, but I am not leaf. I am ground, but I am not beef. You may swallow me daily. And then Theo says to insert a cum joke here. Grandpa chicken pills. It's grandpa chicken pills. Coffee. It's coffee. I didn't even get to the last line. It's coffee. But you'll never use your teeth as the last line. Aaron Piotrkin-Pill's. We're going to see a quick scene. You're going to be going to your doctor's office. You've just got some blood work done.

Your doctor's going over your blood work with you. Adel, you're going to be the doctor. You're going to have to be recommending that she takes some grandpa chicken pills. Okay. Just give me the news. Rip off the be recommending that she takes some grandpa chicken pills. Okay, just give me the news rip off the bandaid. I'm ready to hear it. Do you want the news or do you want me to rip off the bandaid? Because that bandaid has been on there for, I want to say seven weeks. Do both, do both, do both. Okay, your skin has started to grow over it. Much like bark will grow over. never mind. I never mind. I never mind. I'm my mind. I'm my mind

Do you want the bad news? Yes Okay, all right. Why don't you go ahead and have a seat right there and one of the comfy chairs? DJ quals using a car accident last night They don't know if he's gonna make it Aaron wake up. Sorry. You told me to sit in the comfy chair DJ quals was in a car. Almost night. He Aaron wake up. Yes. What do I have to take? Well, I put your blood in a petri dish and put it next to a button to see if we do the work and

sadly your blood just kind of laid there, I guess is the medical term. So we do need to put you on some, this is the medical term. This is what they call it in the pharmacy. Okay. Chicken pills. Now, most people, Hem and Hall, when they hear this, they say, I don't want to be on no grandpa chicken pills. What are my JP riddles?

We all know, of course, medical test subject, JP riddles, who's in this tank of liquid behind me being in suspended animation. He is a wild card. Now he did name the pills, Grandpa Chicken Pills, but for why he did that, I'd have to unfreeze, yes? And I mean, I would love to hear from him. I get a lot of flak for coming to a doctor that's under a highway bridge. And a lot of times they prove my point right, because you give me some crazy stuff. You and JP Rittles working together. Can you just give me underpass?

When you say under a highway bridge, I feel like an asshole. Can you just say underpass? Okay, yeah. I like to talk to this JP Rittles character. Okay, let me. Dr. Doctor, we just got, we just got some news. You, you're not needed. Is it not DJ?

It is. It was actually a a misunderstanding It was DJ Khaled. Oh, who fell who fell down some rabbit rabbit quals It was a water qual. He doesn't go down his wife. He can buy it every day of the week I'm just I'm just letting you know DJ quals is fine. Okay. He's he's still, being cut to the secret location. God, yes. But DJ Khaled did far fall down a water quail. Great. Tapping on the JP riddles glass. Hello. Oh, don't touch the water, that's.

JP riddles eyes, shoot open. Ghost white. Dr. Pax out of the room and a metal door slams down behind him. How? Oh no, the front of me. The front of me. That's easy.

You're still in the room with me. They thought you're still in the room with me. They thought you're still in the room with me. Whoops, actually I had to door save down by. I thought of it as like a, you know how, I think it's like an X2, they keep Magneto in a prison that's all like plastic so that he can't use any metal. But they use the guards metal in his body.

Yeah, too much iron and your blood. But it's like that with JP Rendo's is like, you have to keep him in a room with like no forks, no spoons, no raccoons, no like old trees. You're rhyming like, cheap, rhyming, 50 butter dishes, no skeleton wishes, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no think they stole that from, I could be wrong, because I haven't really been a man. But I think they stole that plot from Grant Morrison's Animal Man, because there's an issue where they keep Animal Man whose power is, he can like take on the ability of any animal that he's within like a mile of or something. Sure.

It's way better than it sounds. But they put him in this room with like no, like snow animals. 20 inch thick steel and like no animals anywhere near here and wherever, as far away from it, all the zoos, but then there's like all these, they're like, oh, we forgot, there's microorganisms,

and then he takes on the power of microorganisms and does something with that, so. Ah, ah, ah. Where they got that idea. Ah, you know, look, I was, I was never really a comic book kid, but I think like superheroes are fun and cool, but like the superheroes that are just like, oh, your power is your like invincible or whatever. I'm like, this fucking, it's so boring to me.

I find Superman very boring. Yeah, Superman very boring. I heard the, I heard black Adam was an absolute bomb and Spaniard loves watching TV when we're not around, but if we just put on noise for her and we put on Black Adam and I was coming in and out of the room and I was watching pieces of it and I was like, man, why did it, what, who thought this was going to be a good idea? Like, I guess his power, he's really powerful, is like so many powers. Boring, it's boring to watch.

GPC, I'm a little upset. You will let your dog watch movies that you yourself wouldn't watch. Are you a monster? Spacially a change of taste. She has really bad taste. She watches Seinfeld and like, look, there are some good time for episodes.

She watches the problematic ones. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And she likes them. I'm like, are you sure you want to watch the cigar store episodes beginning? I'm like, this one did not age well. It wasn't even good when it was on. And she's like, no, I like it.

Yeah, it's, hey, it's fucked. She watches the late night, uh, uh guy that plays Kramer, Michael Richards? Michael Richards. Michael Richards, he watches that Jerry Seinfeld, Michael Richards, apology all the time. Just truly, truly awful stuff. Truly awful stuff. Wow, never mind.

Wow. This is, again, it might be your fault, you're sort of her dad. I don't know how you knew that. Yeah, I know, I control it, but it's her algorithm. Does she watch the comedians and cars with coffee were Jerry Seinfeld tries to like sort of Bring him back into the like so much rehabilitation so much rehabilitation But what what is he what does he have on you? We already know that you like data to teenager or whatever like what more like what do you have what where the skeletons Jerry's I felt?

Anyway, but do go watch that video because that video that video that apology video is so bad and there's one point It's like a it's like a late night comedy show and there's one point where someone starts to laugh in the audience and Jerry's Have who goes don't laugh don't laugh and it's like don't laugh bro. Where are you right? It always reminds me I think this obviously has an it, but I remember when I was a kid, there was a Carlos Mincea special, and he ended the, it was like a Comedy Central special, and he ended the special with he was like, a lot of times, comedians, last joke of a special is like a big joke, big laugh line, but that's not really the way the world works, so I'm not going to do that today, have a good night, and he like left stage, and was like wow, where do you think you are like we're not out in the world?

Hopefully, yeah, I'm not I'm not I'm not just existing. I'm here for funny The stand-up comedy is pure escapism. Please He just ran at it. He just didn't have a joke. He's like he didn't have a joke to steal. I have nothing I'm still anything funny enough to close out my set. So let me try and be impactful. All right. One last riddle from Theo, because much like people go to comedy shows to be entertained,

people come to Riddle Podcast to hear Riddle sometimes. We'll do one. It's obviously not what people are here. Many seek me, but don't find me, though I live in many places sleeping deep beneath the hills But also on your faces A woman I'd be a Helen for my presence fosters wars I'll have to I help troll mole hell and print to chef and to mechanic

But to neither see nor pores. Okay, this was like 15 different lines. A smile. I'll say, gotta be really hard to listen, would you talk it, huh? No. No. No, no, no.

Nope, no, no. He's a troll, sound like one of them. Mole, sound like another one. Hellen of Troy, sound like a third, or Joan of Arc. Mm-hmm Yeah Oh, the last line is the one that fucks me up. I don't know what that means friends The last line I think is probably one of the more helpful friend to chef and to mechanic but to neither see it nor pores

Friend to chef what what is something that a chef in a mechanic both use? They're palette. They're palette. Yeah. Blowtorch. Yes, dude. Okay. I don't know what a, what does a mechanic need a blowtorch for?

When he's welding a car part to shut up. You shut up. Shut up, you. Is it a tour? Shut up, you. Yeah, sorry, we're gonna need to weld your car together. Okay, no, I'll go to a different mechanic. I just need a... You've got some Crembrou layer in the tailpipe, sure.

Okay, a spatula idiot. Mini-see, yeah, spatula would be good. Mini-seek me, but don't find me, though I live in many places, sleeping deep beneath the hills, but also on your faces. Another really, I mean, this is great. That's a mole. That mole is not correct. No.

That's great. Why would you go seeking a mole? Because, come on, if you are so lonely, you've got on dates with humans, and scunks, and dogs, and cats, and nothing's doing it, moles are famously, they're not known for their vision, right? You think if you whack one, you're gonna get treasure. Yeah. Yeah. Just say it, bro.

Just say it. This level is driving me insane. If a woman I'd be a Helen for my presence, Foster's Wars, I ignore that one. I think that one's gonna to get is too tricky. I think the French is chef into mechanic, but to neither see nor pours. So I'm behind the mold. Come up behind the mold. It's facing the way.

Look at the sunset. And I say, Don, Don, Femalia says hello. Really? This is the last. Just whack them all. French is chef in mechanic, but neither, but to neither see nor pours. So this is something that a chef and mechanic use, but something that you don't, don't find on the sea and don't find in pours. They both use oil. Salt. The answer is oil. Oh, that make man.

Yeah, under the hills. I hope chefs and mechanics are not using the same oil. I'll tell you that much. If a mechanic put avocado oil in my car, I would be so pissed unless it ran better. Yeah, hey, your car zero trans fats, that's pretty cool, huh? Unless it's a trans amp. Trans fats amps. Yes.

All right, well, hey, thank you Theo so much for those rentals. We really, really enjoyed them. And thank you. And it was really either nice to meet you or nice to get a letter from you. I don't know what to do with what was it. It was a long time ago. OK, well, that brings us to one of my favorite parts of the show.

And that's the part where we just talk about anything that we would like to plug. And hey, all the way over to my friend Adel first. Adel, what would you like to plug? I'd like to plug my brain, I'll throw it over to my friend Adel first. Adel. What would you like to plug? I'd like to plug my brain from just a few minutes ago. I was so caught up on mole because chefs can make mole and so my brain would My brain would not let go of that connection and I was like there's something there So I was so good. I was Kicking and screaming not letting not wanting to let go of mole

So that's that's my reasoning I'd also recommend I haven't finished yet, but I'm currently reading a book called hollow kingdom Which is very very good. It's a post-apocalyptic post apocalyptic book and it's about a crow James you'll enjoy this It's about a crow one named shit-turd And in his exploits. So I thought that was going, but I do love that. It's very funny.

It's very enjoyable so far. I hope I hope it sticks the landing because I'm really enjoying it. And yeah, so check that out. Aaron, anything to plug? I'd like to plug to come D&D season two has ended and season three is going to start back up soon. I also want to plug Chalax Comedy. It's every Wednesday at seven at the Yard Theater

in Los Angeles. It's always run by Chicago comedians, and it's a lot of fun. And in next month's show, February show, a lot of what bus will be in town. So a big group of bus will be able to improvise together and it's gonna be really special. So if you wanna come to see that.

And also, I was on comedy bang, bang recently. You don't have to listen to it, but if you wanted to, you can. And you killed it. You were one of... Why don't we set the precedent that you don't have to do the things that we plug? Everyone else to read that book and everyone has to hear what is it doing? Sorry, sorry. You have to...

Okay. JPC, can you read a review please? I would love to, if you wanna get a five star review featured in a future episode of Hey Riddle Riddle, just go to Apple iTunes, leave us a five star review and hey, I might pick it. For instance, I picked this one from SlugDinkleMan. Slug says, yeah, love it.

Best show to listen to, especially if you're looking to get your weekly dose of the Howard Dean scream. Okay, so we got that cute up. Yeah, every time. You've quit. You're looking to get your weekly dose of the Howard Dean Scream case. We got that cute up. No, every time. Uh, thank you so much. Uh, slug dinkle men. Hey, speaking of men that likes to dinkle, there's a whole planet out there where those dinkle men's kind of congregate.

Isn't that right, Aaron? That is right, JPC. Jupiter. Bye forever. Bye. Sorry, Eric. And John Patrick Collins. Casey Tony to the editing.

How are you, Eric? In the music video. Photo created by Emily Cardamus and M.O.N. Amores. Baby, no rhythm, no fast-duty, or hate-read-robic-dormus. I'm gonna run in P, because I have to pee pretty bad. Aaron, keep it eye out for any kernels. I will. Like a hundred fallout of my pants. No, not a hundred.

I'm wondering if you're here. So that plus our entire Batcaddle log at patreon.com. So I'll shave riddle riddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or the review crew for $8 a month. See you there!