Hey Riddle Riddle - #237: Three Joe Pescis!

Episode Date: February 1, 2023

We're Funny HOW?! This week we chat about our recent trip to San Francisco, try and enter a Canadian mindset, get into all the coolest clubs and try to get Subaru as a sponsor! Subaru if you're listening....we're probably not a great fit Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to mail us something?  Hey Riddle Riddle  6351 W Montrose Ave #267 Chicago, IL, 60634 Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531) Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fm This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/riddle and get on your way to being your best selfSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. Hi, Adel and GPC. Thanks for meeting me on the side of the road here. My tire popped or something and I got to change it and I didn't want to. Oh, so you know how you just don't want to. Okay, so this is why I got a text that says I'm Pagnard. Yeah. GBC, you're not Pagnard. You're not Pagnard. You're not Pagnard. Because we were excited to be uncles. I could be pegged aren't but I'm not I'm not though. Well everybody could be pegged. But I'm not So I'm gonna go to Chipotle And I'll be back in an hour. Maybe the car will be fixed Yeah, that sounds about right and what do you mean? Can you grab us some Chipotle as a

far away? Well, we can hear you Does that matter? Does it matter that we, okay, well, how are we gonna fix this tire? All I brought was a bunch of baby onesies. Okay, and I brought baby oil, so let's combine those and now we have some more like baby onesies. Wait, wet onesies.

What, oh, JBC, new show without Aaron. It's a talk show. You know hot ones where people eat like hot wings, we have wet ones. It's that, but we eat baby ones he's covered in oil. Yes, that's what I'm saying. And we make celebrities do it too.

And it kinds of throws them off their game and they say things. They wouldn't normally say it because they have a mouth and throat full of wet onesy. Okay, cool. So let's get on the line right now. We have about an hour till Aaron gets back and then she blows this whole thing up.

So I'll just call every celebrity in my phone. You call every celebrity in your phone. Okay, yep, somebody already answered. Hello, Joe Pesci. Hey, it's me, Joe. Oh. Oh. Oh my gosh.

JPC, JPC, JPC. JPC. JPC. JPC. I cracked something my open. JPC. I never expected Aaron to help with this at all There's two jupachis I cracked the code

Dominate pecs She's too much You call the two Joe pecs We the band called called Joe Peshbood. Okay. Do you think I'm funny like a clown? Like there's three of me in this car. Yeah, tta tta tta.

I never in a million years that I expect Aaron to just help out and be like, she had a look at her face like, good, you dug your own grave boys. That's just my resting face is the dog. She had a look at her face like good you dug your own grave boys That's just my resting face is the You dug your own grave boy So do we want to okay if we're looking for a spinoff do we want to go with wet ones or three peshies? Huh, oh my fuck wet ones are three peshies wet ones are three pesaches, dude. Now, three paches has legs, six of them. Wet ones has a clearly an established concept that works, all our hot ones.

Here's what we do. The first episode of Wet ones, it's three Joe Paches eat wet baby ones. Oh, GPC, you magnificent bastard. Yeah. You grew, you solved it. That's the pilot. We call him Jacob and Amir, we say,

have we got this show for you? Guys, I need to be a downer here, but I think this might be a bad idea. Uh-oh. Okay. Jacob and a beer, we have an idea. It's three Joe Pesci's eating wet baby onesies. Hello? Hello?

They hang up on us so quickly. Stinky. Yeah. The minute we say it's blank from Heyro to Riddle, click. Okay. So the three of us just recently got back from San Francisco. How is our trip? How is our time? We had a lot of fun.

I gotta say best, maybe best live show we've ever done. Hmm, I would say worst I've ever felt at a live show. I would say coldest and hungriest I ever been at a live show. No, we have Janet, which is always an absolute treat in a half. She's the best. She is the best. We got to spend a lot of time with Janet and Brandon just a wonderful time, wonderful humans.

Very good time. And we had Arnie Neacamp join the live show for a quick bit before he had their race off the dinner plans Did you guys have a favorite experience from your time in San Francisco? Was there was there something that you did that you were like, you know what this this was my favorite thing that I got to do I was there Interesting I guess I'll go first. Yes, please. I have something ready. I mean don't bring it up. I'm not gonna have something ready Okay, I I mean, don't bring it up. I'm not gonna have something ready.

Okay. No. There was a time where I got a lot of walking down in the city of San Francisco, a very good walking city, and I was passing a restaurant that I passed that was completely empty, which is not a good side for a restaurant. When you pass a restaurant that's completely empty, maybe not the one that you want to go to, but I just said, I looked at the sign and I doubled back and I said, nope, that's the one for me.

And it was it was called Tadka and then the sign said Indian restaurant pizza sports bar And you you sent me a picture and I thought for a minute you had Photoshop that and then I was like nope That's the real place and I said what could Indian restaurant pizza sports bar possibly be So I had to walk in there and and eat that and I got to say It's bar, possibly be. So I had to walk in there and eat that. And I gotta say, great meal. I had a fantastic meal at that empty place.

And while I was there, it was empty the whole time. There were like four different people that came up to pick up pizza from there. So I was like, and I didn't get pizza. I got some like, what did I get? It was like a teaky masala. What's the Indian cheese? Paneer? Paneer.

And it was great. But I also ordered garlic none. As I do whenever I get Indian food, I'll fucking love garlic none. And they gave me just a like an individual pizza crust, like a pizza dough that had like kind of like garlic on top of it, but it was really just I had like a little empty pizza with maybe a little,

so maybe that's why it's a pizza sports bar. Were there sports playing in the bar? I gotta say, not really. There were two TVs, but one of them was not playing sports and the other one, I must have been playing like ESPN or something that had intermittent like sports on it.

Oh, intermittent. Yes, one of those four. You mean badminton. You're trying to say badminton. Wait, earlier did you say two TVs? Cause there's three issues. Three. Hello, Peaches.

Anyway, here. This is a shout out. This is a shout out to that. One starts with three. One starts with the fishies. And one starts with hello. Indian restaurant pizza sports bar. If you're ever there in San Francisco,

I highly recommend it. What about you guys? Do you have any other classic San Francisco experiences? JPC, very quickly. I do have to say the next, if we get invited back to Sketchfest, which I hope we do, I have to insist that the three of us go to that place and have a meal. I'll go back to Todd Cun.

You don't have to pull my leg to fucking get me to an Indian food restaurant. I'll go to any of them. I want place and have a meal. I'm going, I'll go back to Toddkin. Nope. You don't have to pull my leg to fucking get me to an Indian food restaurant. I'll go, I'll go to any of them. I want to pull your leg. I would say, I always love trying new food in a city. And I feel like every single place I went to I hadn't been to before. I had some really good ramen, some really great, I don't know.

Aaron, what would you call Friday night? We went to a place called Octavia, which I guess would be like Italian, modern cuisine. It was delicious. That was my highlight, was that meal we had on Friday night? It was so so good. Delicious. And then I did go back to one place I'd been before, which is Smuggler's Cove, one of my favorite Tiki bars.

Friday night, Igema and myself went with Aaron and Sean. And my highlight happened to the basement of Smuggler's Cove, and I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I being an audience member in the Beauty and the Beast live on Disney recording recently. And it was much like Disney roller coasters. It was a fucking ride. It was one of the better times I've had my life. Best day of my life. Really enjoy hearing all the details and stories. And I would kill to being the audience for the next recording of one of those specials.

Now, now, is this something that is going to come out like on like Disney plus or something Aaron, but it came out right before Christmas on Disney plus, but they recorded a few weeks in advance because there's lots of moving parts. So I wasn't there for the whole thing because they recorded it across a few days, but I was there for like four or five different musical numbers. And it was the best day of my life. And I left that day the biggest Josh Groban fan. So Josh Groban, if you're hearing this, I'm a big fan. Yes.

We know he's going to hear it. I like to believe how good of a singing voice. He, I mean, I knew it's he's Josh Groban. It's great to hear voice, but he didn't live and he had to kept like, keep starting at random parts of the song and he was so funny. I gotta tell you, big Robin fan over here. He's a constantly professional. Yeah. Yeah. But that's a little bit of a letdown. They don't just say like, do the whole performance and then we'll cut it up into like the good chunks. They're like stopping and starting and stuff.

Well, they had to stop and start because the dancers in that number, their costumes kept breaking because it was like a super elaborate. You'll see when you watch it, dance number where they... In the main vision, all the costumes are made of graham cracker and events have it in the R2V.

I tried to build into beast and his graham cracker keep it breaking. Whatever you say, Disney's frozen head Attached to each other and fabric all of all of them And so that it would kept like breaking the fabric kept like pulling off and breaking and it was like old thing So sweet Groban had to keep stopping starting different parts of the song and I was like Disguise a professional Deal yeah real deal.

So that didn't happen in San Francisco. That happened a couple months ago. But San Francisco highlight, I say. I just heard that San Francisco. I mean, we're all talking about Grobin, baby. I'm not Grobin. I'll talk more about San Kevin. What's his big song?

Time to say goodbye. I know that's Andrew Bacheli. I just haven't probed you yet. Thank you. My highlight was getting to meet people at the Magic Tavern Show and after our live show. Oh, my God, damn it. I should've said that.

Yeah, mine too. That was easy cut around this. My favorite thing was meeting the people. It's all about the people interacting with the humans. No, that definitely that end Friday night. Every time I see Adelaan person now, I have the energy of a little sister whose brother just got home from college. And I need to tell you everything that's happened to me in real time since I last saw you. And Adela just sort of nods patiently. And Aaron, every time I see Aaron, I have the energy of an older brother coming home from war, who keeps saying he went to college and I say, no, Aaron, I'm coming back from war.

Yeah, well. And I need to talk about it. I hope you like your roommate or whatever. Anyways. You mean my battalion? Whatever. A nice person named Emily gave me a gift after one of the live shows and it was a little candle

and I just kind of put it in my bag and then my bag got flagged at security and they had to like go through my bag and they were like, do you have a little bottle in here? And I was like, no, a little bottle, like what? And so they were like, well now we have to search your bag and she searched my entire bag which had like almost nothing in it.

And then she pulled out the candle and she goes, oh, this is a candle. I go, okay, like you're taking out the can't distinguish. But also, what rules is the candle breaking or the little bottle? Like, what's going on here? So I did get to keep it and I still have my little candle. And you said when you went through security, they also kept taking out your underwear and holding it up and going, what's this? This looks like a stinky boy was wearing this, huh?

It was an 11 year old bully girl, bully. You pays them to do that though, so that's a different situation. I did also watch on the Plain Red Homo. I watched Don't Worry Darling. Well, I didn't watch it. A person three rose in front of me when he was so worried, darling.

And I kept watching little snippets of it, seems insane. But again, was it watching it with sound and was it paying it to? Well, I watched Black Adam and I'd say we probably had similar viewing experiences. Yes, Emily, I think gave us all something very, very nice. And also, there was a fan, I wanna say her name was Laura or Lauren, or made us like pet toys, which was just so cool. To get some little bespoke pet toys for the cats and for the dogs.

So they're not finding turtles and swans. Something turtles and swans. Something that you can say, something like that. It was, also I wanna, I just wanna mention a very good bit and then we'll get to some riddles everyone. Calm down. Aaron and I, well Aaron got in,

whenever Thursday maybe, but I got in, I got in Friday morning. So Aaron and I hung out all Friday night because JPC was not yet in town. And I think it was either Friday night or Saturday morning when JPC was leaving, he sent us a text that just showed the weather for Washington DC and said, I'm on my way or whatever, and that it taxied off of the gate. So we're, you know, we've left the gate,

but we're just sitting there. And then I look up at all the screens on the plane, show the plane, and then pointing towards Washington, D.C. And I'm like, uh-oh. And so I'm looking around because no one seems concerned with this, but I have also been not paying attention for like 25 minutes.

So I'm like, maybe someone has already said something that they've already made an announcement and that the plane starts like taxing back to like go to the runway. All the things they'll say Washington DC, but then I also notice that the plane was like pointed towards San Francisco, not towards Washington DC. So I was like, well, it's too like that. Like at this point, I'm not stopping this plane if I'm on the wrong one. And also, there's no way that you could just get on the wrong plane.

Like, so many things have to happen where someone's not paying attention to be like, yeah, I got to share whatever I get on the thing. I love the idea of the plane point in San Francisco but San D.C. and they're like, we're gonna take the long way to D.C. This will be up to me. 38 hour flight.

Once we got in the air, they're going west. We refreshed. There's some headwinds on the east, so we're going to head all the way around the globe. Honestly, with the jet stream, it's faster this way. We can't explain it to you. You don't know planes. Shut the fuck up. It's the fuck down. It's faster. Everybody were about to take off. You don't know planes. So shut the fuck up. If you look out the left, that's the Grand Canyon. Probably you would know the fucking difference.

This is your pilot speaking. This door is locked because of 9-11 so I can do whatever I want and no one can stop me. And Gemma has taught me the password that you say to make the pilot's open door so I will say that password on the Patreon. It's Abracadabra. Aaron, how did you know that? Sorry. Right now all the planes doors opened in the air. There's some hotty showing the genitals back here and then all the pilots are like, Oh, let me see. Then they scramble out of the cockpit.

That's horrible. There's some hotties showing their genitals back here. pilots, that's actually Aaron. That would get me out of about any room. So jokes on you. Yeah, it would make me leave a room if someone said that. Exactly. Speaking of jokes on you, riddles on us,

let's go ahead and start with a riddle. There are no warm up riddles today. I don't think there's any quick and easy ones. These are all pretty meaty, so I don't we get into it. Here's our first riddle is everybody ready. Yes. A spy in Canada, very polite spy. A spy in Canada trying to steal insider information

on how to set up new maple syrup factories. Okay, this seems like a big fuck you to Canada. In their country, this spy was introduced to the operations manager of the biggest factory in Canada. However, the manager was suspicious and decided to test him with a question before he trusted him. So he asked, what would you be sure to find in the middle of Toronto? The spy thought fast and came up with an answer from the manager, what was his answer? So we'll say it's an American spy.

What stadium are the raptors playing? Uh, a little, I wanna say Poutine Palace? Oh yeah, I wanna say Gravy at McDonald's. I remember some stuff in that Toronto When I went there when I was four Time very good time. So in American spies in Canada trying to steal insider information on how to make a maple syrup factory Okay, the manager is suspicious when he talks to him. He says what would you find in the middle? What would you be sure to find?

I should say what would you be sure to find in the middle of Toronto, the spy thought and came up with an answer. What was the answer? Uh, wait, first off, the spy thought for a minute, then said, I'm sorry, that'll buy you some time. So, so, I'm gonna say an O. Yeah, that was my guess too. Okay, are you both sure?

I'm sorry. Are you both sure? I'm sorry. Are you both sure? I'm sorry? Sorry? The answer is, oh, in the middle of Toronto, you're sure to find the letter O. I do want to see you, Asean. You okay. Um, the two of your Canadians, and you're both trying to inter-building at the same time,

and it's just a comedy of manners. Okay. Oh. Oh. Oh. So sorry. I'm Ryan Reynolds. So sorry. Yeah.

Sorry, I'm. Sorry. I'm Ryan Reynolds. Thank you. Any other Canadian? Okay. Oh. I'm sorry.

Your name is Ryan Reynolds as well? Yeah. Sorry. I'm the after Ryan Reynolds from Deadpool. Uh, me too, I'm I see what's going on here. Hello. Today is my birthday. Hello. And I know a lot of my friends are trying to, they like to do pranks on me.

Oh, sure. One of my best friends is Ashton Coochster. Oh, Ashton Coochster. Oh, glory for you. You're a glory person. You're a seed. No. No.

Are you mean, no? Where did you eat your food? Where did you eat your food too what would you do with your shift? Durber, Durber eat yours. Everyone was doing Canadian chef, Aaron. Sorry, can you give any other celebrities from Canada? Yeah, like a million. Mike, my son, your mental gears.

We'll our net. Seth, we'll be moving. Justin Bieber. Brian Reynolds. That's not a solid. How do you say her? Buzz Lonnie I believe Lonnie. Thank you so much. Uh-huh Christian brood. Yes Wayne Gretzky Celine Dion do we say Celine Dion Brandon Chicago close up ethanol Hera Ryan Reynolds

The lovey sister After zoom Eugene's lovey's wife's Okay, let's go to the second riddle at least Canadian my marriage Here's what I'll say quick disclaimer if you're a Canadian listener. We're sorry We're sorry, we're so sorry. It is a Canadian story. Is it different from a North Dakota North Dakota story? Are they the same story? Well, here's what's interesting, especially in terms of how that scene devolved is I believe, wow, we're breaking it down.

A peak behind the car. You don't often see these play by play analysis. I believe far like if you listen to Fargo, Fargo is in Minnesota or is it in North Dakota? I forget. But regardless, I feel like the action is in North Dakota, but the movie could be set in Minnesota. Yeah, but I feel like it's very close. But the accent is that sort of like, oh, hello, welcome to Minnesota.

That's Swedish, which is, I guess, what we were doing earlier, but it sounds similar-ish to our untrained ears to Canadian. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And I mean, someone will know why that happened. Some just only a border. It's just a border away, right?

It's just a border away. I'm glad we did that scene and I'm glad we did that play by play and that scene because I almost took that fucking riddle the riddle court Because what was that manager? What was his plan there? I don't know. To suck out the spy just tell him basically the manager's plan was like tell this guy a riddle to see if he's a spy The fucking you think in Canadian factory manager?

Fuck it idiot. Please notice this. I thought for sure that the two of you were gonna answer Tim a Tim Hortons What are you sure to find a middle going to answer Tim Hortons. What are you sure to find in middle of Toronto? Tim Hortons. Tim Hortons here. So who's, let's get into the next riddle here. Kevin. Oh, haven't heard that in a while.

Yeah, I know. I was speaking my language. Kevin, the ship steward, knew he had to deliver fresh coffee and a fine cup and saucer to AJ Slice, the gangster. One level up. The ship started to sway in the heavy seas. Kevin's health depended on the coffee being delivered in the porcelain cup.

So he was worried. Heavy seas were no excuse to AJ the gangster. How did Kevin solve this problem? These were the coffee. Worded so. Put all the coffee in your mouth, walk up there, spit it all back out into the cup. Put all the coffee in your butt, put it back up there, put it back up there.

I meant butt, I meant butt. Well, it's the south mouth, which is the butthole. JPC, of course, you got this answer right. Kevin put the coffee in his mouth until he got to the side of AJ's room. Then Kevin spit the coffee back into the gangster's cup and serve him. No, that there's so many problems with that being the right answer because coffee traditionally a drink serve hot very cannot put a bunch of hot coffee in your back and revenge. Thank you.

A best. That's not really this. That's the answer. Adults, that really the answer. That is really the answer. And here's what I'll say. I don't know if we've ever gone this quickly two for two in riddles where there hasn't been a single wrong answer yet Well, here's my problem. I wanted that to be the wrong answer

I wanted that to be a silly joke answer and I'm upset that my silly joke was actually right. I do want to see you see Okay JPC you are eating alone at a This isn't the place in San Francisco, but you're eating alone in a restaurant Aaron you are a waiter at this restaurant and They happen at this restaurant. They happen to serve food in an unusual manner perhaps wink wink you know what I'm talking about and

Let's see that thing Sir sorry for the delay We have your rosé So just open up Sir, sorry for the delay. Oh, no worries. Have your rosé. So just open up. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. What? I'm going to mama bird it into your mouth.

No, no. I just drank your rosé and I will. I can do that thing. What's the same thing? The day the day the same liquid thing. No. I'm sorry. I'm having a strong reaction. Just a glass of rosé for me. Yes, I did have a glass of rosé as I see it there on the tray. Yep

So I would really rather not be drunk. I'm obviously at work sir. So the longer it's inside me the more I get tipsy It's currently inside you right now. Yeah, just if you open up You know, where ever David Blaine keeps the water for his act. I don't know You don't know where it comes here comes here come. Okay. I want to see where it's I want to see No, I don't want it, but I want to see where it comes out. Okay. Where do I put it then? Put it in the glass. Does your wife want it? My wife died a hundred years ago Okay, all right, all right.

I'll put it in the glass I get. Jeremy, why did you say that? Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Okay, well this is a good time for me to say I did not order this. I think that's where that table over there. With the man of his wife. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. I heard it, the cheeseburger. Whoever David Blaine keeps his water. I want to say his bladder. Outstanding.

Where does David Blaine keep his water? Up his Levy's. Up his Levy's. Aaron, I was honestly going to say up? Sleepy's. Yeah, but sleepy. Aaron, I was honestly going to say up his levy's. No, you weren't. I truly was two peas in a pod. Three Joe Pesci's in a pod. I can't remember what happened, but

Adam and I were walking around together in San Francisco moments after we had been reunited. And we both made the same joke about something and we said, uh oh, this is why we can't be around each other. Gemma, so we were in this dog park, which is at the top of the steepest hill I've ever walked up. Yeah, it's very steep. It's the only park I've seen where you could slide out of it. Like you could just slide off the park.

You could literally slide off of it. Like you can just slide off the park. You could. You could literally slide off the park. And Gemma noticed a woman walking with her dog and she said that dog has, the woman was wearing like a beanie. Yes. And all Gemma said was, oh, look at those ears. Look at those ears. Those are the cutest floppyest ears I've ever seen.

And JPC at the same time said, how can you tell she's wearing a hat? Yeah, I mean. And then we cackled, because we're like, oh, we're on this event. Fantastic. Fantastic. Let's, because we're two for two,

with no wrong answers, let's push our luck. Let's go for number three. I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, that joke. So I guess I've been untouchable. I would have said. What would you have said? I probably would have said nothing. You would have had said nothing when you could have said a joke? What the fuck are you talking about?

I don't know. I go to therapy. I'm doing okay. So Aaron, correct me if you're wrong. Not everything out of your mouth is a joke like JPC and I? No, no, there's you can be like a normal person who just sort of experience his life without having to. Wait, is there Rose?

Already? Is that what you think? I find the experience of life is solid with a joke. Nothing takes me out of life than a little joke. A little laughter that hurts my soul. Let's go. No, thanks for all the help. A woman wants to enter an exclusive club,

but she doesn't know the password. A man walks up to the door, and the door man says 12. The man immediately says 6 and is let in. Another man walks up to the door, and the door man says 6. The man immediately says 3 and is let in. Thinking she's figured to the door and the door man says, six. The man immediately says three and is let in. Thinking she's figured out what's going on, the woman walks up to the door and the door man says, ten. She says five and is not let in. What should she have said? So when the door man says twelve, the person said six and got in. When the door man said three,

I'm sorry, when the door man said said six the person said three and was let in When the dormant said 10 she said five and was not let in 12 and six no, so it's not well. No, it's not really a math really not really What was her hers was 10 right she was told 10 and she said five and that was wrong Mm-hmm. But 12, the correct answer to 12 is 6, the correct answer to 6 is 3. So what is the correct answer to 10 if 5 is not?

The correct answer to 6. Oh, the correct answer to 6 is 3. Okay, we're correct. Do we know why we're correct? Well, yeah, my gut was telling me that this was a clock related, but 12 to 6 is straight down and 6 to 3 is at like, that's like an angle, right? That's that's not that's not the same thing. Yeah, that's nothing. That would be a what 45 degree angle. Yeah, 45. No, right. I guess what? Yeah, 90 degree angle. Whoops. Whoops. Whoops. Okay, I'm done. I threw you angle files.

You up. I know we got a lot of angle files. Hey, bad way. Angle files get ready for the Patreon this week. Yeah, all right. But 10 to five. So JBC, you got the correct answer. How did you get that? Do you know or you were just guessing? Why is that true? That's what I'm asking is JBC, you said three. That is the correct answer.

If somebody says 10 and you say three, you are letting the club, do you know why? Or is it because it's a clock? Like that's it. Okay, it is not. It is not. Okay. Okay. But also I don't think I don't think I said that.

Did I say 10? I said I said 12 to 6 and then I said 6 to 3, but it's also 10 to 3. Oh, I thought you said 3. I thought you said the credit answer was 3. My bad. Well, 6 to 3 is the second one, right? 6 to 3 is the second one. And so the last one is 10 to 3. No, I don't know why that works. I forget why that works. I missurge you, I guess. So why is the code? Well, yeah, we know why that works. I forget why that works. I missurge you, I guess. So why is the code?

Yeah, we'll stick with this. The answer to 10 is three. Why is that the correct answer? And I will say, at this point, there are numbers involved, but it is no longer about math or numbers. Oh, OK, so here's the first thing. So the first person walks up, the guy says 12. And that person, who is a six, says six, and the guy goes correct.

Because 12 might as what you are, a six is six. The second person walks up and the guy goes, oh, six. And this person, being a three, it's like, that's fair. And he says three, and he goes, correct. You are a three. The bounce holds up a mirror and you have to self-rate yourself. And if you're two, I are low. The bouncer holds up a mirror and you have to self-rate yourself. And if you're too high or low. The third person works in.

They're a stone-cold fucking seven. The bouncer says 10, and that person thinking less of themselves says five. And the bouncer goes, honey, no! Three! And then opens it up and lets them in. I do want to see a scene. I'm going to be the Bouncer Adormin at a Secret Underground Club.

The two of you have heard about this club, you've never been, but your friends said to check it out. They didn't tell you there was a password, so we're just gonna try and figure out if you two can get in. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what's the password? Uh, let us in.

I know. Jeremy told us the password. Let's get the, let me go through my text real quick. Yeah, do you know Jeremy? Jeremy? Do you know Jeremy? Oh, Jeremy? Oh, Jeremy?

Yeah. No, I know. No? Okay. Does not matter. Come, Quatt, Mississippi. Sorry, trying to remember my password to my phone. Unless that was, unless we, but password to my phone unless that was unless we

Bucks in case we We got it. It's not let us entertain you. It's not come quite Mississippi. Mm-hmm. Okay, okay Did you ever not tell you the password? He did and I didn't I he wrote it down and it's like he I think he said it phonetically Toes I'm trying having trouble searching, just straight searching it. Excuse me! Bung dong go! Pappu! Pappapa! Write this way sir!

Pappapa! Pappapa! Pappapa! Oh! Oh! A bung dong go! Bidipa pappapa! No, no, no, it changes every time.

It changes every time good, because I could not have remembered what that was. Try your birthday, try your birthday. Oh, uh... Wait, what did you say? Try your birthday. Come right this way, ma'am. Oh! Why?

What together? What? By asshole. You're together, like you're dating? No, we're brother and sister. Oh, like you're dating? Well, no, I mean, we're both dating, but not each other. Oh, I see, I see. Yeah. So it's just that behind the velvet rope until you come up with the password No, yeah, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So close. So close. One word off. And now it's changed. Now it's changed.

Okay. I'm having so much fun in here. Ma'am, can you shut the door please? Oh, sorry. So cold in there. Why? We're not cold there. We're not heating the whole neighborhood.

It's my- Rushing out. Hey, okay. Could you just say, come rushing out? I think I did, yeah. And where would come, come rushing out of? The I did, yeah. And where would come come rushing out of? The bathroom? That's right, right this way.

Yeah. Scene. Nice. We still have a work club. We need to take a break, but before we do, we need to hear why 12 was six. Six was three and 10 was three. I think six and 10 being three is the is the best way to look at

this. Obviously 12 equaling six is helpful, but six being three and 10 being three is a is the real key to unlocking this map. And it's not a clock. Oh, you tell many letters. It's how many letters are in the word in the word. Bingo bingo hot to toss. If you say 12, there's six letters in 12. If you say three, there hot to talk. If you say 12, there's six letters in 12. If you say three, there's, sorry, if you say six, there's three letters in six. And if you say 10, there's three letters in 10. The code is the number of letters in the number.

The door man says. That's kind of fun. Well, wait, what if he has a seven? Yeah, that one be five. Oh, I guess I get in though. We'll be right back. Hey, JPC, you know how I love he looks sleep. I love the he looks mattress brand, a special night's sleep of my life. I know not everyone is on board yet. So I secured award-winning sleeper.

Merrill Sleep. She's right behind that door. Merrill Sleep. Wow, she won the Golden Pillow. For best sleep, that's right. Hey, Merrill. Hello, yes, hello, yes, I'm very well rested after sleeping on my midnight looks. Helix Madras.

Good to see you. Good to see you. Your naps are stunning. I just wanted you to tell people about Helix sleep how the Helix lineup offers 20 unique mattresses including the award-winning lux collection. The newly released Helix Elite collection a mattress designed for big and tall sleepers even a mattress made just for kids. Yeah and Helix knows there's no better way to test out a new mattress than by sleeping on it in your own home. That's why they offer a 100 night trial

in a 10 to 15 year warranty to try out the new Helix mattress. Who do you, who, who did I think you were? Maybe I sleep. I don't know. Merrill, I'm Merrill Sleep, and I know everybody is unique. And everybody sleeps differently I just Recommend taking the helix sleep quiz and you can figure out what mattress is right cheap for you I don't know if you're a side sleeper or you sleep hot or cold or if you sleep like me

Meryl Sleep Yeah choosing the right mattress is a real Sophie's decision But don't just take our word for it or Meryl sleeps word for it. He looks has been awarded the number one mattress picked by GQ and Wired magazine. It was even recommended by multiple leading chiropractors and doctors of sleep medicine. I don't think I thought you were the person that you were. Oh, she's doing it. Who are? What a performance. He looks mattresses all come with a 10 to 15 year warranty depending on the model. Oh stunning. Yeah look, he looks as offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to helix sleep.com slash riddle. This is their best offer yet and it will

not last long with Helix better sleep starts now. Go ahead and give her the Academy of Snorr. The Snorr? Academy of Snorr? You know what? You mean the Academy of Snorr. Glid close to falling asleep. That's why I got you. Oh, yeah.

I got that a lot. Hey, Adel, hey, Aaron, I got a bone to pick with the two of you. Oh. Sure, yeah, I wore the skeleton outfit just because I figured this was coming. Happy Halloween a few months early. It's not yet the... What is it? So you know how the two of you, I was like, guys, I am always so hungry for lunches and

dinners and the like and you, jokers, told me, oh, JPC, it's okay, all you have to do is take some, you know, American paper currency, tape it to your front door, close the door, and then wait until someone brings you food. Well, I kept opening the door, and the money was gone. So I had to tape more money to my door. I think you're thinking, didn't work at all. Oh, door cash. Door cash.

Yeah, you did, door cash. We told you door dash is the number one thing to you. What the hunk? With Door Dash, you'll enjoy next level convenience with delivery in the hour, making it easier than ever to get whatever you want delivered to your house, whether that be back to school supplies or whatever it is that you eat.

JPC, which I don't know, what you eat. I eat back to school supplies. But wait. JPC, all your favorite retail, grocery, and convenience stores are on the app. So you can chop everything all your favorite retail, grocery, and convenience stores are on the app so you can chop everything, your kids, your dogs, your family, might need for back to school. And hey, personally, just yesterday, I bought some marshes homemade premium quality buck eyes, you know, those candies that are chocolate stuff with peanut butter.

I just got those from DoorDash and they were on my porch within 20 minutes and it's very dangerous because they're delicious. Did you fill your belly and your pantry? Uh, yes. Did you fill your backpack? I did. Okay, well then DoorDash has come again for the gold. I remember distinctively the stress of going back to school and going from store to store

to get all my favorite snacks and pencils and pencil cases and all the things that I needed me and my siblings. And I remember how stressed my mom was. And I know that she would have loved to have door dash so she could be prepared before the big back to school day arrived. So you can stock up with go-to breakfast, lunch box staples, and brands that you love. Don't eat my school supplies, JPC. JPC, but that eraser.

Never school. Put that trapper keeper down. Your mouth is too small. Never been told that before. Shop door dash to get everything you need for the back to school season delivered right to your door. Order now for stress free back to school shopping. Use promo code riddle to get 50% off up to $10 value.

When you spend $15 or more at convenience, grocery, or retail stores on DoorDash, that's 50% off up to a $10 value. When you spend $15 or more at convenience, grocery, or retail stores on DoorDash, that's 50% off up to a $10 value. When you spend $15 or more promo code riddle, don't forget JPC because you keep eating those school supplies, that's code riddle for 50% off your next order terms apply. At all, JPC keeps eating my gel pens.

Thanks, DoorCash. I mean, no, that's the one. That one didn't work. That one's bad. Hey, GPC. Uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help.

I'm, um, pranking Atal. And I'm setting up a website to prank him. Um, can I just need some advice? This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Spaces the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand square space makes it easy to create a beautiful website It gage with your audience and me think for products to cut into time

all in one place all on your terms. Hey, Edel, come here. Come here. Come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch, you can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production

and inventory and shipping are handled for you, saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with Addle? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing.

No, he's gonna do it. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content

on my prank website, the prank activity. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for I can't remember what's the website for prank square space You can connect to your store to vetted third party tools to extend the functionality of your website Hey jpc hey jpc. What's up, Adam? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine.

Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron.

Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. Hello. Hello. I'm funny how We're three Joe Pesci and welcome back to the Pesci podcast Yeah, are you looking at us though? Don't look at us. It's a podcast. Did you fuck my wife? Did you fuck my wife? I think this is but it's my wife too It's how why did you fuck our wife? This is the exact same group of characters that came in the one time I accidentally said bad news gang Oh

Did you say bad news? No I did it Gang A what's a ruffian like you doing in the neighborhood like this? We're bad news how how are we bad news to you? Are you you having fun? You laughing at us cuz we're bad news? Cuz we're bad news cuz what bad hey No, I missed a New Zealand resigned. How's that for bad news? New Zealand it's probably bad to get out just get out of My This I

I fucked up and I said it and I should I will not I will not make that mistake again. Why did you say that? Don't I don't say that we never call shit back on this show. Yes, we do like stuff like bad news gang or like Okay, okay, okay, bye bye. We're still getting paid. I love you. Oh Something changed. They love us. This game loves us. Check your pockets. Check it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, chocolate syrup Why? Inside my pocket, how? I owe you one massage. That's actually pretty good.

Not bad, yeah. Not bad. How about we get on over to another riddle? Yes, please. Okay, we're two for three, which isn't half bad. I mean, we figured out the last one, but it took a little bit. Yeah, it's 60% good.

A sailboat is in a lot of trouble during a wild storm. That's a word we'd have phrased that. One of the passengers goes below deck, finds an electric drill, and starts drilling holes in the bottom of the boat. Why? Sailboat is in a lot of trouble during a wild storm. They want the boat to crash. Uh-huh. And you think... So, you think drilling a hole in a boat on the waters would crash the boat?

Yeah, what if it's crash is a pleasure. Now, does it help? Does the drilling holes in the bottom of the boat help? Or do they just do this thing because no one knows why? Uh, it does. It helps with a certain situation. Got it. But maybe not certain situation. Got it. But maybe not the situation you would think.

Maybe a situation that's, you'd have to read between the lines about, or maybe even contraed at a thin air because it's not in the lines. A sailboat isn't a lot of trouble during a wild storm. So here, maybe it's in this line. A sailboat isn't a lot of trouble during a wild storm. Perhaps the trouble isn't the storm, maybe it's something else. One of the passengers goes below stack, finds an electric drill, which all boats legally have to have, and starts drilling holes into the bottom of the boat.

We need to know why that passenger did that. There's someone stuck under the boat. The boat was caught smoking by his parents, And that's why he was in trouble. These are these are air holes. They're drilling air holes. Yeah, the boat has has the boat capsized and no, there's nothing in the role that says holes can't play basketball air hole. That's actually great answers.

The boat capsized. But also, I don't know why you would drill holes into the top of the boat Which is the bottom of the boat if it has capsized right I do want to see a scene JPC you're a boat and Airman your mom and she's just got you smoking Open the door Tug open the book open the door Port cider starboard

Tug, open the door. A port-sider starboard. Tug, I can smell the smoke, I can see the smoke. What are you doing? Sorry, all the hatches are battened down, so we can't... I don't know, there's too much rigging in front of the doors to open. Tug, people trust you to run smoothly. In your smoking? No! Smoke the whole pack pack smoke the whole pack in front of me right now Okay, my mom I'm a bone. I can smoke a whole pack. It's like all right, then do it. I'll do it

Then do it. Oh Yeah, that's so key menthol right novellums I may feel pretty satisfied But you don't want any more though. No, I definitely do I Cannot get enough of this stuff got You know, what I'm gonna go get your dad and tell him you've been smoking. Let's see what he says about that This is being a boat. Oh, yeah, hey kiddo. I'm coming in Okay, all aboard

Can you try the lighthouse? Can you try on the lighthouse? Sorry the house light. Yeah, absolutely here. You are and lights on All right, let me just whip my anchor out and toss that down on the Dad out damn it. You bring me you're you can't breach a shit a kid it didn't hurt that bad It'll I'm calling boat protective services. No, you're not stop. I am I am Deborah. I can't deal with this Deborah no cruise. I told you I didn't want to make a boat. I told you I didn't want to make a boat I said baby, baby you don't too much money and they cost so much to repair you have to dock them Don't say this in front of him

He should be the best part of having a boat a boat is selling your boat. Don't say this in front of him. Don't you know what? He should not. The best part of having a boat is selling your boat. Don't say that in front of him. I don't give a ship. I-I-I let him say it. Don't say that in our house. My which mister. What is happening to my boys?

Why are we fighting? Seed. Ah, outstanding. Uh, and thank God we didn't say something like, what was it? Dad Blues Gang? Well, well, well. No, no, get him out, get him out.

Well, since my baby left me. This is a new gig. This is the dad blues gig. The dad blues gig. Yeah, it's a bunch of dads who have a blues group. Oh man, that's, hey, the dad dream right there. Just to have a little blues game. Yeah, it's a bunch of dads who have a blues group. Oh man, that's, hey, the dad dream right there. Just to have a little blues group. Well, our dads of course are Dan Acroid

and I want to say Jim Belushi nowadays. John Goodman. So why was this passing your drilling holes in the bottom of the boat? Aaron, it is not because someone was trapped under the boat. Is this one of these boats in a bottle or something? And it's like a model boat? It is not a police song. Trying to drain the water out.

Um, no, no. I mean, I'm sure once they drilled water would start to burst through to at some point, but no, that wasn't the, uh, the boat is full of water. They've crashed on an island and they are trying to get the sand boat wet. So they are drilling holes in the bottom of the boat just to have wet sand. Uh-huh. Wet sand? Oh, damn it. Okay. So, there. So, JB, this is the long lines of like something you would do. This is pretty, this is kind of chaotic. Okay. Is this like an Amelia Badelia thing where it's like, she heard wrong and now she's like, I drill the hole, I don't know what the fuck,

you don't what Amelia Badelia does, you know her shit. Yeah. Yeah, well similar to Amelia Baderhart, who famously, she's a burrito. Don't, don't, don't, don't. Tramuda. So let's take the line.

A sailboat is in a lot of trouble during a wild storm. So if the trouble is not the storm, what else could be trouble on a ship? A fight mutiny. Yeah, yeah, okay, so it's if there's a mutiny and people are panicking Why would someone start to drill holes in the bottom of the boat? Hey, because there can't be two problems at once So it's like why don't we all work together to solve the problem of why just fuck us with the holes in the boat? Honestly, basically, yeah, basically that's the answer.

Here's, I'll read it as it's listed here. Panicked passengers, try to say that once, Panicked passengers not confident in their captain were trying to take control of the bridge. By drilling holes, this passenger by drilling holes distracted the mutineering passengers, allowing the captains to secure control. So basically, it's that you can have two problems at once. They were going to overthrow and kill the captain. Somebody was like, Hey, look, I'm drilling holes. And they all went, wait, stop that guy.

And then the captain was able to, uh, I don't, what, what is this podcast anymore? What is going on with that one? Did that so they killed that guy that guy died. I do want to see a scene. He's saving the captain. What is the relationship? Wait, I want to see a scene. Oh, go ahead, please. You've seen I want to see two basics where

Adel you are a captain of a ship and JPC. You're trying to start a mutiny, but once the captain doesn't care You notice the captain doesn't care if you start a mutiny, so you sort of are trying to backtrack I I say that we had north and by capturing the wind in our sales we shall arrive at treasure island within four days North that no that makes no that makes no sense no, but you know what? I think I think hey crew. I think everybody agrees having north is a bad idea and I think first mate plucky pops Says we're going west, huh? What what what if I'm the captain? We all go west. What do we think of that captain? Show of hands for going west?

Huh everyone raised their hands northward so it looks like we're going north. Thank you No, they raised their hands. So I so you know I need to clear Amuse you no It's time for captain Gregory and gorge Thumb to show why he's Captain. No, you can't call it another Captain. It has to be you. Come on, it has to be you. But Philip Railfingers has no place in a Thumb War. I don't care Captain's Railfingers.

Okay, it's Europe against Plucky Pops and it's time for the Thumb War. That's what the crew won it, okay? Okay, let's... Okay, please excuse me, let's... Okay. Okay, please excuse me, pod me. Hmm. Are we doing this standing or seated? Huh, let's do it laying down on our bellies facing each other, sleep over style.

Ooh! Yeah, so what? One arm has to remain all times under your chin, prepped up on the floor, and the other one's doing the Thumb War. Um, Sarah and Dipiti Jones, can you come here please? Mm-hmm. Can you? Sorry, start it far away, yes? You are so breathy when you run, I swear.

The small boat. Can you ready the parent to deliver a message? Yes sir. Should I be defeated to stop this cro- Oh sorry sorry Do- You have the business legs I've ever seen before? Uh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Uh huh Oh, will you back to me what the the parent message should say? And of course by parent message I mean you just train the parent to say a phrase? Right right right right uh hey a lot of small talks so far for a parent message this is dire what what's up bro can you serendipity please I was running and I got distracted now if there's let me repeat myself if there is a mutiny which there is now and this This Tom foolish boy wins Then you should send the pair. I'm not doing the mutiny He is sorry Tom fool if this plucky pop should win the

Parrot should alert the armed forces to come and calm and dear this ship Because it'll be running rogue all over the 17 what no no What- what no, no, no, that's bullshit. I wanna do a parent message as well. There can be two. Actually, can I book the parent for a massage? Hehehe. Oh! Um, let me check its calendar. Could you do 330-430 PM?

Well, an hour? No. I need at least 90 minutes on a parent massage. And of course, PM means Pirates May, do we all agree on that? We all agree? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We all agree on that. We all agree The the yards have it Isn't that a dumbass riddle? Yeah, yeah, I guess so it isn't dumbass. I'm glad you brought that up It's like if someone has a headache and they're like my I have such a bad headache and then you like It's like if someone has a headache and they're like my I have such a bad headache and then you like stab them in the foot and you're like not thinking about that headache anymore Are you and you're like well now my foot's all fucked? Yeah, but it's all fucking stabbed at this point

Yeah, that's a pretty bad riddle Be old me would have lashed out in a rage over that riddle, but the new me feels nothing. I've numb myself Huh, that's smart. Yeah. And you've done that through... Novacaine or... Just general disassociation. Perfect. That works as well. Did someone call for a general? No.

Oh, it's general disassociation. He's gonna teach us to stare at walls. All right, troops. Char... Render. Where are they? Charmander. Oh no. General. Someone say Charmander. It's not a good podcast. Commander, Char, let's get into another riddle here. Please. A newly married woman comes home unexpectedly early from work and is horrified and upset when she sees her husband in bed making love to another woman.

Tails all this time. Almost immediately, her anger abates and she realizes she shouldn't be upset. Why? Hmm. I think that this is a car commercial and she's not upset because it's like she and she has this like snapped like a vision envisioning her Like packing up all of her stuff and suddenly she's in her Subaru and she's just driving on the open road And she's like no, this is what my life would be like and it's like Subaru Sometimes you know, oh, no Subaru

Subaru I'll fuck it. I would love it, but what Subaru sometimes wait no Ford like like a like a stone rock rock rock rock I said rock just use a second take That's all staying in Ford use a second take I would have also accepted if the husband looked at the camera and ate a Mentos and like held out the Mentos because that solves anything. Yeah, it solves any problem. I've sent these to you before,

but some of my favorite, some of my favorite, because in the podcasting industry, we all read, we do our little ad reads. I love it when someone accidentally leaves in an ad read of them just like reading the copy, but not cutting out them making fun of the copy. Oh my God, it's my nightmare because I would hate for it to ever happen to us.

But when it happens to someone else, it is so funny to me. There's also one that's, I believe meant to be aired, which was Scott Ockermann, I won't say which ad, but it was him just dismantling the copy and it was very funny. Hey, I'll say this probably as you would make good on that one. There are some things that the brands don't like and one of the top ones is making fun of the copy.

I cried laughing, listening to the ad and it's the best ad read I've ever heard. I do want to see a scene. JPC, you are in studio in booth doing a voiceover or an ad read for Subaru cars. Okay. So you're the voiceover we hear for this 30 second Super Bowl ad commercial. Aaron, you are the voice director, so you're kind of managing things. And we're going to take a peek at that. All right.

I think it's pretty straight forward. But if you have anything that you'd like me to try I mean, please I'm I'm I'm Putty in your hands. No, we are all set up on our and I would say just your professional We loved your audition just straight down the middle pretty standard and I think we should be good and action an eagle's body has 431 boats every single one of those bones is hard. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Love the voice, love the enthusiasm.

Can we read the copy this time? Maybe we'll get an improv take later, but for now I'd say read what is written. Uh, yeah, I'm so sorry. That's not a problem for me. Great. Sorry. An Eagle's body has 431 bones. Each one of those bones equally hard to take out of an Eagle's body while keeping the Eagle alive. But there's one bone that you can rip out of an Eagle without anybody ever knowing. Sorry, we send the wrong copy over to our starts

with this mother's day, get mom what she really wants. Is it a mother's day copy? Maybe I have, maybe it's just, I have like the general copy. Would you mind, I see that you have it there, would you mind? I have it, I'll bring it in. My God, I am so sorry. You can obviously see, I'm not making it up here

so I have. Yeah, it's written in crayon. The crayon that you're holding, doesn't. I guess it was given to me this way Sorry Steven Subaru here I in a booth just kind of listening just kind of stop and buy today. How about we combine the two? I'm not really I'm sorry, I'm action This mother's day grab an eagle out of the sky.

There's only 431 bones in one of those things and each one of them is equally hard to take out without anybody noticing. But this Mother's Day grab an eagle, reach down into its gallant and pull out the one bone that causes it all to fall apart. And as you're taking that bone out of the eagle, don't let it cry because it'll alert the other eagles.

The Subaru tried back a $4.31 a month. No doubt they're acquired, offer in this mother's day. See, I think we got it. How was that? It was a good $31 a month. There's no option to find out right. I did that pretty well, really glasses. I didn't bring my reading glasses. I think we got it. How was that? Was it good? Yeah. We're pretty much. There's no option to buy it outright.

I did that pretty much really glasses. I did pretty much really glasses. So I don't know if that's the exact script. Delightful. Here's let's do something we haven't done in a little bit. Let's just get that right. Bobo Bobo Bobo. No, not my news game.

The dad blues shit. I said it. Where we not in the middle. Where we not in the middle of a rental. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, then I think we all went crazy. No, sorry, we were in the middle of a riddle. A newly married man comes on a set of paperwork. We barely got anywhere into that riddle, but I thought our own thing. Okay, a newly married woman comes home unexpectedly early from work and is horrified and upset when she sees her husband in bed making love to another woman. Almost immediately her anger abates and she realizes she shouldn't be upset. Why? She married a cheater. She knew it. She knew what she was doing.

She was holding a cheater. Yeah. What do we think is going on here? Oh, question. Yeah, I think I might have this one. Excuse me. No, thank you. Is her husband like a professional porn actor?

And she like knows that this is his job, but maybe the set was flooded that day and he was like, oh, audible, we can use my house. No, I like that answer a lot, but no, that is not correct. Okay. I also love the idea of like a porn set being flooded, just for the specificities that I was outstanding.

It actually happens a lot more than you'd like to add all, okay? Geez. Show us what you know about the industry. Geez Louise. So what do we think is going on? Aaron, I love your answer that he's dead because that's funny that he died during sex and then she's like, I'm not mad, he died. He got his comeuppance.

That is not correct either. But I think we're, these are good answers. These are along the same track of the actual answer is he fucking a clone of her and she's like I can't be mad because this is a clone This is the closest we've come to the correct answer yet, but take that and reverse win What oh it's it's not it's it's her husband's twin It's her it is her husband, but it's he's fucking her twin her husband's twin. It's her husband, but it's, he's fucking her twin. Why is she not mad?

No, I'm joking. The husband, her new husband has an identical twin brother. She wasn't exactly delighted that he, he wasn't, she wasn't exactly delighted that the couple decided to sneak in for a quickie in her home, but all was good. LOL. And he said her home or her bed? It said her home. Okay, her home.

And it then legit does say, but always good, LOL. That's fun. Here's the thing, I don't have a twin. I, and I never will. A hand in God. You promise? You can't be sneaking into your twins house to fuck because of course, that's gonna lead to problems

where if you didn't have a twin, it wouldn't be a problem or as much of a problem. Exactly. I also think, I think probably this husband also doesn't have a twin, but he did one of those like misses out fire things where he disappeared for a walk, he backed it up and out fit.

But it was the same outfit, same look, sorry. How do I describe this? No, this is smart. If you're a single guy out there, you gotta be, or you know, a single anybody out there, lay the groundwork for your lives when you start dating someone you got to tell him you're a twin. Oh shot. Ever let it come up yeah. Photoshop. Two of you put it framed on your desk and then just say he's we can't stand each other we're never around each other. We're never around each other he lives in San Diego he lives on the other side of the

world. But he might he has a key to in my house, so just so you know. Yeah. Can I say, when people get frustrated with riddles, that is, that gives riddles a bad name. It was his twin riddles. Yeah. Is why people like us get pissed off by riddles. Because the good ones are so good and they, you actually have to think about it in their clever.

But that's so dumb. Yeah. A good riddle you should be able to extrapolate the information based on the exact wording. This one is just like, ha ha, tricked you into a piece of information you didn't have and worded it to seem like it was the husband. Because it says her husband was having sex. Exactly. Yeah.

So I, but because that's her perspective, I'd like to combine this rental with the previous rental. And it's like a man on a ship drills a bunch of holes into the bottom of the ship. Why do you do it? And it's like, well, because he's a twin, into rental, like that's it. Twins are crazy, man. You've ever been a twin, they're crazy.

They're bonkers. Let's do speaking of twins. Let's twist on over to a segment we haven't done in a little while. We have a brand new, I want to say voicemail theme. GPC is that right? Yeah, this is a theme that was submitted by James. You can also find James at their artist page on Spotify, the consequences of riddles St.Voice male's faster Standard's voicemail Voicemail Master of voicemail that way for the fame

Voicemail Okay I can't tell if it cursed or if that was the beep. That was fucking extraordinary. That was awesome. Yeah, if you want to submit a voice mail theme, please put that in a way file and send over to hrrpodcast.gmail.com. James, I want to commission you to write a love song for Gemma and that exact genre.

So please reach out to me. You can all, of course, always call us for a voicemail theme or just a voicemail, asking us a question at 805 Riddle 1. That number again is 805 Riddle 1. And of course, very quickly, you can also send us mail to 6351 West Montrose Avenue, number 267 Chicago, Illinois, 60634. Casey, we do have a voicemail pulled up. Do you mind go ahead and play that voicemail?

Hey guys, my name is Morgan. I just finished my first day in class as a junior in college. I'm turning 20 next week, which is really exciting. I look through all your stories on the pod and I was wondering if you could give me some advice as I enter the next decade of my life. But yeah, I love the show, and I'm Aaron's number one fan, bye. Wow. Ooh, Aaron, I think since that's your number one fan, I think JPC should answer this.

Yeah, for sure. I also will say I think that Morgan sent that quite a while ago, so happy belated 20 of the birthday Morgan dear, almost certainly already 20. All right, I mean, that's the next decade. I mean, we've all at this point, we've all gone through that decade. Yes.

Aaron, what do you have any thoughts, ideas? I have lots of thoughts, but my major one is that it's such a long decade and 20 is not gonna feel anything like 23 and 23 is going to feel so far away from 26. So like, don't focus on making choices that you think are going to set you up well for like 29 because so much can change and you can experience so much and have so many different lives and travel experiences and move to so many different cities across your 20s. And it really there aren't any

huge adult consequences to what you do. So just take risks and have fun and follow your gut. I was so, so depressed when I was 20. I'd say that's like the saddest I've ever been in my life. And I was like, well, that's what my 20s are going to be. I thought they were going to be super glamorous and great. But like, just, if you're in a bad spot right now, just give a time. It will work itself out. It'll get better. Love that. Do you have any advice?

I think one of my big pieces is advice, especially when you're 20. You said you're a junior in college, so you're kind of transitioning. You're going to be transitioning from college to like your adult life. Take some time to consider what your style should be and experiment with that. One of the things for me that was a big wake up call for me when I started purchasing clothes that fit my body instead of buying clothes

that were just like cartoonishly too big or too small and being like, I could just use a melt on this. Like you can think about things with a little more, I don't know, like in the mouth and think like, hey, I wanna maybe see if this is my style or I wanna try this is my style. I do think that it can do a lot just in general for what your personality shapes up to be.

Love that. And my advice would be, in your 20s, I believe be social, make friends, continue to foster the relationships with people you already have. But I would say- Because that shit ends when you're third. That shit is- You are not new people.

Jesus was 33 and only had like what? Nine apostles? I was dark screaming on the top of my lungs if someone makes me make a new friend. I will. No, thank you. There's no room. But I would say instead of just, cause I know in my 20s I was a very social creature and I would just be like, I just want to hang out with my friends and do stuff and have people

over and go on adventures. Please do that. But also I would say spend your 20s whenever you can, maybe set a goal for a few a year, learn new skills. Spend a year in your 20s learning to cook. Spend a year in your 20s learning to cook, spend a year in your 20s learning to be a creative writer or play an instrument or learn a language. Whatever you want to do, I wish if I could turn back time, I would spend so much of my 20s and my 30s learning new skill sets that I wish I had in my older age. So I would say learn new

skills. We all wish we could do this blitz and we never will. Whatever. Whatever. Um, this is also this advice doesn't come for me, but it's something a friend said to me recently that the advice that she gives 20 people in their 20s is grad school is not the answer to everything. Even if you're stuck or feeling depressed, you don't have to go to grad school. Take a deep breath, move to a different city for a summer. You don't always have to go to grad school. So a deep breath, move to a different city for a summer, you don't always have to go to grad school. So I'm just passing along that information.

Aaron, considering who our listeners are, you sure you want to be coming out as anti-grants and I know that you're all in grad school, but let's all be honest. Why did you go? Just a huge hit. Just took a huge hit to our bottom line with that. grad school is sometimes the answer, but it's not always the answer. Morgan, thank you so much for the, for the voicemail. Everyone else, we use.

Morgan, drink water, drink a bunch of water. That's all you got to do. Love you. Well, now she's drowned. No, no. Again, you can call us at 805 Riddle 1. Thank you so much. Morgan, thank you so much James for the theme.

That was fantastic. And thank you, Aaron, JPC, and Casey for playing those, for playing this audio messages. Is there anything Aaron as your number one fan? Sorry, is your number two fan Is there anything sorry as not a fan of yours? Sorry, I don't know who you are. Is there anything you like to plug? I would like to plug hello from the magic tavern. They're really on one lately It's a great podcast. They're really on one lately.

It's a great podcast. I just saw their live show. I'm a big fan of all three of them. And I think that if you haven't listened for a while or don't listen, you should start. Also sitcom D&D is coming back soon on Valentine's Day. And while you're at it, check out Bill Buds. Couple of fun buds, talk about music.

And those are my plugs. Addle anything to plug? Very nice. Aaron, while I will say, really loved your plugs there, I thought those are very sweet and very generous and kind of you. I, selflessly, want to plug our fans that we met after the live show.

We're both, we're both, we're both in Magic Tavern and Hayburn and Real. It's the people. Aaron, you mentioned the podcast. I want to mention the people. Sure. I think it's really cool of me. all of our fans are very nice and wonderful the ones who are nice and wonderful are but the rest of them suck But thank you for so much to everyone who listens check out our patreon. We have a lot of cool patreon stuff coming out as

JPC alluded to earlier. We do have some British surprises coming here way on the page wow Wow uh... some british uh... surprises kavig here we are uh... uh... i think they have a space for the surprises uh... and uh... you know gpc do you have any reviews to read yeah i have one that's a brief one so i've first a quick plug i would like to

give a quick plug to a podcast i've really been enjoying a called knowledge fight uh... it's another chicago based podcast which aren't many of them. And I gotta say, they got the second best theme song in all of podcasting. So second best, and I'm counting obviously magic average theme is the best. That means it's a classic. This review comes, this review comes courtesy of a probably iTunes. I think it's where I pulled it from. If you want to leave a get your review featured on an episode of Heyward Rettler's gonna Apple iTunes wherever you leave reviews give us five stars and I might read your review today. I'm reading one from scam likely. scam likely says more puzzle bot more puzzle bot please. So it yeah, I mean that's not the characters.

They said puzzle bot. They said puzzle bot. Adelona and Sean were doing a bit all weekend where we would start Jay Leno impressions and then get self conscious and bail really quickly. Aaron, can you give us a taste of it? Can you give us a taste of it? Why don't you give us a taste of it and then I'll do my outro part in the same vein great No, no, no, no, that's stupid Yeah

Just some of my three Joe Pesci's at this point Hello! Crazy, crazy, crazy. Here we go. And John Patrick Cullen. Casey Tony to the editing. Now he's already parried to the music. The vocal created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Nemours. The music is a must to your hate, with the brick you'll miss. The most stupid or hate-rich-obr-rich-yom. RUN Hey there, bangers and mash. If you liked that, you are going to love this week's Patreon.

We are joined by our friend Ethan Lawrence to go over some cockney rhyming slang games. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com.sharierittlerittle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or the review crew and and get those ad free episodes for $8 a month. See you there!