Hey Riddle Riddle - #241: She Was An American Girl

Episode Date: March 1, 2023

This episode has a little bit of something for everyone. Jokes, getting swoll, holograms, milkshakes. We're covering all of our bases. Plus we make an American Girl's dream come true! We've also got an unruly film set, a new hot line, alternate timelines, neighborly negligence, and some fun in the sun. Truly, an episode to remember. Hope you enjoy listening to it while you wash the dishes today, Chris! (trying to freak one person out. hope it works!) Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to mail us something?  Hey Riddle Riddle  6351 W Montrose Ave #267 Chicago, IL, 60634 Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531) Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. I'm ready to laugh. Sure. Make me laugh. Oh, wait, excuse me. I'm a little bit more. I'm a little bit more. I'm a little bit more. I'm a little bit more. I'm a little bit more. I'm a little bit more. I'm a little bit more.

I'm a little bit more. I'm a little bit more. I'm a little bit more. I'm a little bit more. I'm a little bit more. I'm a little bit more. I'm a little bit more. I'm a little bit more.

I'm a little bit more. I'm a little bit more. I'm a little bit more. I'm a little bit more. I'm super comfy and ready to laugh. Sure. Make me laugh. Oh, wait. Ew, excuse me. What's going on? Pretty good. Done. Done.

Done. Oh, time. Wow. Yeah, man, I was actively talking about to laugh. You're like a, you're like a, a, a radio writer. That's what they're called. It's a comedy podcast. Yeah, radio writer. That's what the company podcast. I'm sure you love. Adel, do you have a joke for me?

Um, why did the chicken get plastic surgery? Big because. Because, yep, because just because. That makes sense. I've told you guys my whale joke before, right? Uh, yes. Okay, good. I'm very similar to the talking muffin joke, right?

Uh, no. I don't think so. Well, maybe, maybe, I mean, maybe the punch sign is diff similar, but the, the, the joke of the whale joke is that it just goes on for a long time. That's the other way else says, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Exactly. Yeah. I will, I won't repeat it here on the podcast, but that's a, and then the other way else says, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Exactly.

Yeah. I won't repeat it here on the podcast, but that's a, you know, maybe I'll do a Patreon episode once, where it's just me telling that joke for an hour. I could have it. Have I told my elephant joke? That's my favorite joke in the world. I'm sure you have.

Well, what's your, what's the elephant joke? Are we just gonna keep asking each other? If we were, Hey Aaron, you started the episode by saying make me laugh. I said it nicely. Make me laugh. Can't wait laugh. Can't wait. Please. Evidence. Make me laugh. Wake me up. Make me laugh. Somebody. Oh, we got to. Hey, can we do a parody song? I know. No, I don't know. Here's something's the right show for parody songs. I don't I don't need to do parody songs on the show? We should do, make me laugh, to the tune of Evan Essence.

So the elephant joke is a guy ghosts. Okay, let me try and tell the quickest. I got it. I got it. Okay. Have you heard this, JVC? No, I was packing to the tune of Evan Essence, which is a band.

So I was like, Make me laugh. Yeah, but I like it. Yeah, we don't know what the song is called. Now could you, how could't know what this song is called. How could you? How could we know? Karaoke Standard. Elephant joke is this guy goes on a safari in Africa and he sees elephants and there's

one, the Jeep he's in scares off the herd of elephants. They all run away except for one baby elephant who's left behind. The baby elephant, try to take it up and falls down, try to take it up and fall down. There's something wrong with the baby elephant. The guy slowly gets out of the Jeep, looks at the baby elephant, makes eye contact. Elephant looks at him. He looks at elephant. Elephant looks at him.

He looks at elephant. He slowly walks up, slowly lifts up the baby elephant's leg. There's a berth like a thorn in its fiddles and its hoof. They have hooves. Uh, medically we call them hooves. They're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're getting side track. They're more similar to deer than the air horses.

So he take, he slowly, he gently takes out the thorn or the thistle or the bird. A bird. He pulls it out and he gently puts down the elephant's leg and he gently backs away. He looks at the elephant, the elephant looks at him. The elephant bows its head in a little knot of gratitude and runs off with the rest of his herd. This same guy, 25 years later, is at a circus nod of gratitude and runs off with the rest of his herd. This same guy, 25 years later, is at a circus in Kansas City and they have an elephant act. He's sitting front row and the whole time during the elephant act, the elephant's looking

at him, he's looking at the elephant, elephant's looking at him, he's looking at the elephant. The elephant gives a little nod to the guy and slowly walks up to him. He's looking at him, guys looking at the elephant. The elephant slowly extends its trunk, slowly wraps it around the man. He's looking at the elephant, looking at him. The elephant gently lifts the man up in the air, slams him down on the ground and stomps on him 25 times. It was a different elephant. There's an air that's kind of... My eyes look swollen. I feel like my eyes look a little swollen today

Does anyone else knows that don't fall for this you never tell a woman Your eyes look so swollen today Why yes, what are your eyes lift? What kind of trauma do your eyes lift? Your eyes look as swollen as fuck Aaron true false Women love it when you tell them they look tired I don't know what women want Mill Gibson here's a thing. Here's a thing. I think genuinely Generally and genuinely pony someone asks you a question like do I blank blank?

You should answer honestly because they want to know But what you should never do is unprompted be like hey got some feedback about the way you look asks you a question like, do I blank blank? You should have answered honestly because they want to know. But what you should never do is unprompted be like, hey, I got some feedback about the way you look. Yeah. Yep. Also, I feel like. I don't leave people alone.

I say that in my big face. Aaron, that's the greatest thing anybody's ever said on this podcast. That's the best advice I've ever heard anyone give on any podcast ever. And thank you. And don't touch elephants at the circus either. Don't.

On safari or at the circus. Don't touch the sun. They're working. They're at work. That's their job. I just saw. I just saw. And this might be a fun little talking point.

Because we don't do riddles anymore. We just have talking points. I just saw that I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm sucks to say this, but I do have at least one rental plan. But that's for later. That's for like way, way, way, way, way later. Like next year. I think Aaron and I are gonna sit that one out.

So, but I just saw that in Germany, I believe, maybe it's like the Munich circus or something, that they thank God, did away with the elephant acts because the elephant shouldn't be jumping on little balls. Yeah, those animals are too sharp for the elephant. But they started doing hologram elephants. And I thought that was a great con. Oh, yeah.

And I almost think it's more magical for kids to be like, here's a giant, here's like a 400 foot elephant, a la Tupac. Elephant hologram who's just dancing across the stage. And that's kind of more magical than seeing a sad elephant crying. The bummer is that these poachers have now moved to like GPUs and graphics cards. And so the poaching is still wildly out of control because they take those, those holograms, I mean, they have to run some pretty sick processors. And those go for a lot of money on the black market.

I also heard actually now that you mentioned that I did read later further down the article in the sad section. You know how all articles slowly get sadder. Sure. The more from mentioned you learn, I guess a lot of the holograms are put in these cages. I'm going to say how badly are they abusing these hologram? They're only fed once every five years. So the holograms aren't doing great, but it's better.

Please, a squirt of compressed air. Please. I haven't had compressed air. every five years. So the holograms aren't doing great, but it's better. A squirt of compressed air. Please. I haven't had compressed air over the decades. I can't shimmer amongst these particles. Please, please, please, just sneeze in the air. It's funny to, it's funny to imagine what the world would be like if we were all holograms that we had to eat compressed air. That's that's fun we have a good time air yeah um gpc air in my only concern oh please go ahead I was gonna say my only concern is that this leads to hologram clowns which is since the age of four is my biggest fear in the world and also a horror movie I wrote that I hope if you want to go through my script hologram clowns could be yours short $40 to make it.

All right, this is a real bummer. I hate to bring this up on the show, but I did just get an email. The subject is real doctorate note is from Aaron Keefe. It says, to whom it may concern, Aaron Keefe should not do riddles today for medical reasons love Aaron's doctor. Now, I know I just broke hip-up

about nine times reading that on the air. But I mean, that sucks. Aaron, now you don't have to disclose what the medical reasons are, but if you want to, that on the air. That's... That's... That's us! Aaron, I... Now you don't have to disclose what the medical reasons are, but if you want to, I mean, we'll all... We'll all honor it, of course. Oh my God, I don't know.

You should ask him right back and ask him. Wow, you're assuming it's a him, huh? It is a him. If you just happens to be a him, I'm sorry. Your doctor just happens to be a man. Bullshit. I thought you didn't want to do riddles today I thought you were too sick to do riddles today. I am okay. You know what Aaron Your thing says Aaron should not do riddles today for medical reasons I think that that is fine because what I have today is actually not riddles what I have to know

It's American girl. What is mystery? Oh, Aaron. Don't read the latest email from him. Don't eat those. Oh, don't. Oh, God. Now, now I'm just, okay. This email says her butt is sick.

No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't. No, doctor. Do you seek, can you check your email again? Wait, Aaron, why does it say her butt is sick. No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't. It's a male doctor. Do you seek, can you shake your email again? Wait, Aaron, why doesn't it say her butt is sick? Okay, another email here. It says, hey, did you notice after my log L of joke, Aaron talked about her Buffy eyes. That is from a non of this.

Of course, the derivative of that. Another email here, separate thread, by the way, just says, is she made it? And then it says, me, can you answer it? Is she made it? What the fuck could that be? Does she made it me? That's how a kid would write, is she mad at me? Well, did you see another one from my doctor?

It's good. Yeah, this is another one from the doctor as well. And this doctor is using your email address, Aaron. This doctor all caps says, never mind she's fully healthy. Okay, so now it makes me think that the doctor is like, her butt is sick. She's fully healthy, but she got a sick butt.

Which, hey, good doctor, if you can get it, right? Yeah, where did you find this book? Oh, Erin, why, I've never done work for this podcast a day in my life. A fan, at one point, must have mailed this book to us or sent it or gave it to a live show. Here's a little peek behind JPC's curtain. I'm naked back here.

Oh, wait. I try when people give me things with like a letter attached to it to keep the letter in the thing, but I have some of these American girl mystery books and I truly have no idea who gave them to me or how or how I got them. But who if you are the brave soul who put these into my trusting hands probably over a year

ago, thank you very much. It is well worth the wait. Okay, this one says open. This ebulous has open. There's a link to hologram clowns bing images. And I have a call on the podcast, which is, I do not click links. Huh, interesting. Why don't you open that?

I don't like the link. Yeah, I just think, why don't you open it? And you email me a link to HRRpodcastatgmail.com. Guess what? I'll say, whoa, great. Thank you so much. Never open it that way. Never in a billion years click on that link.

Hey, if we're working on this book, and go ahead. No, please, thank you. I was going to say, if we're working on parody book, and go ahead. No, please, thank you. I was gonna say, if we're working on parody songs this year, which it sounds like we are, definitely. I don't know if we all agreed to that. I think we should also do a version of Mitzkis. What is it?

All the American Girl or American Girl? And do American Girl Doll. Okay, yeah, and I think that you could also do the, is it a time penny song? Is that a bit? Yes. You an American girl, though. Mm-hmm.

Okay, so we got several options. Jesus. Eric, can you tell us about some of the American girls and what they love so that we can say a song about them? Yes, of course. I'll begin with Felicity. She's from the Revolutionary War. She likes horses. who's next?

She loves horses, she loves horses, Anna-Marie, a good girl. Wash, do, well she's free, follow, that's again. For me, follow me, interdads in the war, and she's free. She's free, follow me. This is my separate stuff. Okay, we've got the mysteries.

We have to do riddles. I actually can't even take another second of this. I'm not doing riddles. I forgot to do it. My favorite part of American girl is in between most of the lyrics, Tom Petty goes, shh. That's how he's taking a little toke.

No, he's hitting a milkshake. He's hitting a super thick milkshake. What he's thinking of that's Tom Petty loves milkshakes. Interesting fact. Why wouldn't you? I mean, hell, if you got the money, the other reason I'm not drinking a milkshake every day is because I'm poor. 350 a blast. Who can afford it? Hey, man, if you're rich, you'd be having milkshakes like Tom Petty. Okay, here we go. This one is called What's in a Name. I have to give you a warning. These are minute

mysteries, but maybe longer than that versus some of these. I tried to give you a warning. These are minute mysteries, but maybe longer than that versus some of these. I tried to pull some shorter ones. Kit poked her head out of the train window and waves goodbye to Ruthie Sterling and her parents. Aaron, I got to stop you. A little gasp there. Do we know Kit Ruthie Sterling and her parents? We do. We do indeed. I had Kit choose my last one. I was much too old at that point to be asking for dolls for Christmas. Sure. I played with American Girl Dolls well into my last one. I was much too old at that point to be asking for dolls for Christmas. Sure. I played with American Girl Dolls well into my last year of middle school.

I'm looking at a little picture of Kate Aaron and just to confirm with you, Mary, can you describe what Kate looks like physically? Yes. Kate has broad, short hair with freckles. Her hair was the lowest maintenance of all the American Girl Dolls hair because it was short. That's correct. She has a sort of lavender cardigan set and then she has like a greenish purple tan little skirt. Not a color, not a combination of colors. She might come with a little hat and then

she's got a little she's a little beret. She has a little beret, no hat. Yeah. And I can only see the top of her torso. So I assume legs, mechanical spider. I don't care about his fair play. Don't care about his fair play. Can you describe physically what Kit Harrington looks like?

I'm going to physically describe Kit for my childhood, which is three three foot five bear backwards hat soft green shirt no pants Rides on a croissant shaped silver glider. Allah silver surfer. Um is the nephew of blue the bear and only and the only answer to the song oh Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, tail spin song OEO OEO OEO OEA OEA OO OO OO OO OO Tail Spin. That's my kit. And I think our kit has long black curly hair. He's in Game of Thrones. The kit from my childhood, of course. Four wheels, back seat, front seat,

Hasselhoff in the driver's seat. I believe was kit the car from night rider, am I? No, you're right. Okay, good, because I don't remember what kind of car that is. And I've never seen a show. It was a talking car. It was a talking car.

It's like the Mr. Ed of cars. Okay, here we go. They just put peanut butter in the engine. And that would be tough. They got a peanut butter guy on set, just throw in peanut butter to the grill of the car. And then somebody gives up and they go, you ruined this car. And they're like, I gotta see a scene.

How is the burger car? I gotta see a scene. I gotta see a scene. Adel, you are the animal wrangler on a set of like, let's call it like a doctor-do-little movie, right? Yeah. You're the animal wrangler and Aaron, you are the director of the doctor-do-little movie, right? You're the animal wrangler and Aaron, you are the director of the Doctor Do Little, Doctor Do Little movie and you're trying to like wrangle the animal wrangler.

Hey man, you're Jeff, right? Oh yes, I'm Jeff. Very nice to meet you. I am straight out of South Dakota from the Badlands and I have a few suggestions if you have time. No, sorry, Jeff. Don't have a few suggestions if you have time. Did you have no time? No, sorry, Jeff. Don't have a ton of time here. Okay. We really appreciate the work you're doing on this and the animals love you.

Is it about me giving the mice LSD? How else can you make a mouse dance? You're giving the what? The mice LSD. Didn't know about that. We'll add that to the list. Oh, thank you. Hey, you couldn't, you only need to make the animals talk. You keep shoving peanut butter in our actors and actresses, mouths, and also basically any other thing on set. I reached

into my own coat pockets and they were covered in peanut butter. You really only need to use them with the animals. A great, a disagree. I think peanut butter is the actor's friend. It's the Thesbyans balm, if you will. A lot of the actors I've noticed, and I'm just an animal wrangler. What do I know? I also drive a Jeep Wrangler. Go figure.

Chris Catan is not an unsating unsaid. So what I did is I put peanut butter and his top and bottom lip. And now when she know it, he is an unsating beyond belief. So if I need to do it for sure. Chris, can you come over here? I'm trying to talk to our animal handler about the peanut butter situation.

Yeah, I love you guys. I love you guys. See? I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you guys. Yeah, I love you guys. I love you guys know, you get that. I've seen. No, I've been dead. I want to buy it.

I want to buy it. I want to buy it. I want to buy the Steve Keishker cat. All right, where were we? Then as the train started to move, she sat down beside Aunt Milly. At last, they were off on their journey to visit Charlie, her brother, in Montana. Get new, she would miss everyone at home, but she was excited to think of all the interesting new people she would meet on her trip.

Here is jumpy as a jackrabbit. Aunt Millie is JP riddles. Aunt Millie, Quantamania. Aunt Millie. Fuck. Fuck you. Yeah. Fuck you.

Fuck you. Aunt Millie told her you go on now to explore the train. Well, I'd take a little cat. Cat. Nip. It's cat. Nip. But it's JP, I'd take a little cat. Nip. Cat nip. It's cat nip, but it's JP Rittles. We've said cat nip. Happily, Kit jumped up and headed for the observation card. A huge windows on both sides with seats facing the aisle.

Kit was pleased to see three girls about her age crowded on one of the seats, staring out the window opposite. It'd be fun to have new friends on the train trip, were they sisters? Kit wondered? They didn't look much alike. Kit sat down across from the three girls and gave them a friendly smile. Hi, I'm Kit, she said, what's your name? A girl with curly brown hair smiled back. I'm Joni, and this is Frankie, she said, gesturing to the red head beside her.

Aaron are these American girl dolls, these other ones? No, not that I know. Okay, okay. These are actually 70s music icons. Joni Mitchell, Frankie, Abelons. Frankie Mercury. Frankie Mercury. Are you sisters, kid, asked? She had always thought it would be so nice to have a sister, only child, new information about Kit.

No, just pals at Joni. We all met on the train. I'm Georgia, the third girl who had short blonde hair light kits. Please to meet you, Kit. What's your last name? Kit Ridge. Oh, I should've asked Aaron, do you know Kit's last name? Kit Ridge.

Kit Ridge. Kit Ridge. He wants to be a journalist. It's easy to remember if you think of my first name because the two names sort of match. Kit, Kit Ridge, she smelt again. What are your last names? Georgia, Joni, and Frankie looked at each other and started laughing.

I don't get it. What's the joke, Kit asked? I'm into it except tone. You'll get it when you hear it. You'll get it when you hear our last names of Frankie still giggling. Let me tell our Joni Spludder to try and keep a straight face. Our last names are Frank, Jones, and St. George. But none of our first names and last names

match the way yours do Frankie Chimden. Kit Post and thought this over. So your name isn't Frankie Frank, said Frankie again? The girls burst out into gales of laughter. Whooooosh! Whooooosh! Whooooosh! Ha!

Ha! Seagulls. Yeah sure, whatever. Hey man, fuck you. We all be in quite a radio over here. Ha! Get with Kitt joining me this time. No, my parents didn't name me that, thank goodness.

My name is Frankie Jones. Can you figure out what Joni and my last names are? Georgia asked kid, kid thought for a minute, then not it. So that's the minute mystery. KJM do on time. Give me their all their first names again and then the three last names. Yeah just for quick, I can be the whole thing I get. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,, Georgia Frank, and Joni, St. George, wow, Adel, you had your listening cap firmly on today. I don't have a listening cap. Aaron, Aaron, can your doctor prescribe you one? What did you say something?

Did I not, Aaron, I bought you a listening cap for I think it was like a Christmas, like three Christmas's ago. Huh, is someone talking to me? Huh? Oh no. What? You go get your big floppy beach listening hat.

I love that hat. We got to get to one of those old-timey gramophone ears, whatever those are, the people held up. All right, I gotta see another seed. Oh, thank you, Adel. I gotta see another seed. Aaron, you are gonna be the operator for grandma phone. And we are gonna be playing callers who are calling in to grandma phone

to try to get some grandma specific information. Eh? Hello? If you know the party that you want to call, please press Hello? Hello? I need to know when William's birthday is. Marie? Marie, too? God bless you. Kazooontite. Good night. Good luck.

Good luck. Okay, I love you, Marie. Good night. Good luck. Good luck. Okay, I love you, Marie. Love you. Hello. Welcome. Hold on. I have a written down here what I'm supposed to say. Where are my glasses?

Oh my God, they're on top of my head. My head would fall off if it wasn't screwed on or something. Welcome to the grandma hotline. How can I help you? Hey, I'm sorry. I'm just making cookies. oatmeal raisin. And I do not know what temperature to preheat the oven for. Where are my glasses? You're making cookies? Yeah, oatmeal raisin. I know it's 12 minutes, but I just don't remember what I'm supposed to preheat to Mason. Is that you or you my grandson? No, sorry. I just sound like a grandson

Oh Okay, yeah, this is this is grandma phone right? Yeah, pre here. I've been to six. That'll cook them. No, no, hold on now. I don't I don't think that's right. If I had a grandma, I would call my grandma, but suddenly both of my grandparents have passed away. Oh, how? How'd they die? Uh, Titanic. Oh, God. Yeah, they, um, they both were deep sea explorers and they got the bins really bad trying to find the Titanic. Love you! No, no, wait, ho- Welcome to where my glass is hotline. Do you know where my glasses are?

No, but this is the gas company and we need some information for you to keep your gas line running. Marie, is that you? Mother's made in last name. Oh God, I gotta have that hold on. Do you need my credit card or social security? Both please. See. That was Agist.

Both please. Both, please. Well, yeah, I guess it is, but also those are the people that are victims of those gifts. Yeah, we didn't say what age they were. They could have been 104. And Aaron, the reason my character didn't ask you for the making model of your first car is that it was clearly a Ford Model T. Mm-hmm.

Well, you're really on it today. How am I supposed to get a riddle right when you're really on it today. How am I supposed to get a rid of right when you're really on one today? I don't know what the making model of my first car was. I know it didn't have a bottom. There was just no floor and there was a big stone cylinder in the front. Was that what it was? Yes, it was a flood suburb of Yohan. Mine was a Honda Kate Moss. Make and model, do you get it? Pretty good, pretty good. Oh, make it. I'm on one today.

Hey guys, we're on one today. Are we? Are you feeling that? We're kind of on one today. Hey, incredible. You guys ready to get off one? Yes. Here's a one.

There was another minute mystery that I skipped because it was very long. So here's a shorter one. This is a much shorter minute mystery. This one's called Riddle Me This. Huh? Not a bad name. Pretty good.

NGAPC just real quick. I don't know if the cover says this. That first riddle was maybe the easiest riddle of all time. Are these for like six to ten year olds? This is an American girl, mid-missed tree's book, Rainy Apple. The fuck do you think? Who do you think this book is for? No hold on mystery's book, rain, yeah. The fuck do you think? Who do you think this book is for?

No hold on, I'm actually reading the back. This is for 26 year olds just trying to do their best. So that's you out there. Don't worry. You could read this book as well. Here's real me this. Here's real me this. Riddle me this, Addy said Sam.

Where's the only place it makes sense to put a cart before a horse. I love trying to guess her brother's riddles. I know the answer, ding buzz. Where's the only place it makes sense to put a cart before a horse? I love trying to guess her brother's riddles. I know the answer, ding buzz. Okay, buzz, yeah, go ahead. Aaron, did you say you know? Well, yeah, I also know Addy, but I think I also know the answer. Do you want to say it on three?

One, two, three. Dictionary. Dictionary. Here's my thing. This riddle so far seems to be about Addy and Sam, but Sam seems to be an American boy. Now, are the brothers of the American girls part of the story at all? I don't remember any of them. And Addy was my favorite part of the character.

But Addy was my favorite. I begged for her for so long when I saw the size of the box. I knew it was her and I burst into tears. She's little gold hoop earrings. Her hair is in this like little twist back bun and she's got pink dress with white stripes. And then like I think little black boots. Oh, okay.

And also I looked it up. Sam is an integral part of America. Well, not American girl. It's like a side universe. He's Cobra Commander from the GI Joe universe. And so I'm like helping his little sister. Hold on, dad stopped. Uh huh.

You said American girl doll side universe. Are you saying the American girl doll has a multiverse? Is there an American? Is there a dollar verse? Multiverse is a sadness. If you're not doing a multiverse nowadays, you're losing money, you're leaving money on the table sadness if you're not doing a multi-verse nowadays you're losing money You're leaving money on the table. Okay. I do want to see a scene

Also Aaron P.S. if addies your favorite feel free to call me Addy I've had that before in my life For people who didn't say my fault the real name So I do want to see a scene GPC you're an American adult. Oh, that worked out pretty well. And you're the American adult. We are on one today. Guys, we are on one today.

We are on one today. I do want to see a scene. JPC, you are an American girl doll from Earth one, I guess I want to say. Okay. In the multiverse, Aaron, you are an American girl doll from Earth 42. So this is a different universe, a different world, a multiverse, if you will, for the American

doll, and you two are meeting for the first time. Because Aaron, there's a big issue in your universe you need help with. Well, I'm about pooped from churning this much butter. This must be the very most butter I've ever churned in my life. They're all dead. Hey! Wow, look at you! You look a little bit like me!

You shut up and you listen to me. No one out of doll hospitals can fix the carnage that's coming here. Excuse me, but we don't use that kind of language around here. I haven't properly introduced myself. My name is Harmonica. Heds removed from their bodies. Limbs. Hanging from trees.

Please, you're the only person that can save us. No, I know it's implied to ask, but you seem to have some sort of cyborg eye stranger. Well, yeah. Replaced it with an eye from a different kind of doll from a different kind of universe. Look at me, slaps. Oh, the harmonic is dead in our universe. She was my best friend. She was the only one who could save us and now we need you.

Wait, you're not. You just look like me, but you're not. Oh my god. I'm looking at it now. You used parts of her, didn't you? I didn't want to. I didn't want to. I didn't want you. I didn't want you.

Another portal opens up and another doll steps through. Iron Mask pulls back to reveal Iron Doll. What are we doing here? Drinks an old-fashioned and one gulp? Hey, I'm Iron Doll. I'm a multivillionaire from Earth IV. Well, I was just churning butter doing my chores. Interesting, interesting, and how about you, weird eyes?

My name was Kirsten, but now I'm at Body Parts from all the dolls. Your arrogance, think you can come here and steal harmonica before I get to her. Over my dead doll body. Pwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww No, just like this. Pick it. So Addy loved trying to guess her brother's riddles. It was a game they played often. I know it's not a stable. How about an unstable Addy asked? Very clever, but not right. Sam laughed. That's pretty clever, he said. But the place where the cart goes before the horse is the dictionary.

So you guys were one step ahead of Sam. That's a good one, Sam. Addy said, Addy held her brother's hand doing her best to keep up with his long stride. It was an odd and Sam Sam by the way all legs Mother fuck tall drink of water. See I got going. I got a way stick It was a dreary Sunday with clouds low in the sky, but Adi was happy Sam was walking her to her friend Sarah's I've got another one for you Sam said as they turned on seventh street. How is a piano like a door? Hmm Adi answered she was quiet for a few minutes as she thought about the riddle. Sam whistled softly as he had stumped Addy for good,

but then she smiled. I think I know the answer, but first, you riddle me this. What has teeth but doesn't bite? Come. Can you, okay, man? He's. You didn't let me finish.

Come on, guys. He's. Can't you solve Sam and Addy's riddles? This is for 26 years. I think we can. I think we can. I think we can. I think we can.

I think we can. I think we can. I think we can. I think we can. I think we can. I think we can. I think we can. I think we can.

I think we can. I think we can. I think we can. I think we can. I think we can. I think we can. I think we can. I think we can. I think we can. I feel like there should be an Elton John song that's like, and it seems to me that you lived your life like a card before the horse. Is that fun? I like that. Diana died, Adal.

What? All right, you know what? This is how I found out. Aaron, I was on one today and now, oh, what? The, the, hey guys, look, I gotta be honest with you. The American Girl Minute Mysteries book may be, we may be a little too advanced for this, because we're all older than 26.

So we know Aaron, we gave it a shot. We gotta put him away for now. We're gonna take a quick break, we're gonna reset, and we're gonna be back with probably more of these. Yay! Yay! I did it. I did it.

I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. You're a great, great, great girl. Hey, JPC, you know how I love, he looks sleep. I love that he looks mattress brand, best nights sleep of my life. I know not everyone is on board yet, so I secured a word-winning sleeper,

Merrill Sleep. She's right behind that door, Merrill Sleep. Wow, she won the Golden Pillow for best sleep. That's right. Hey, Merrill. Hello, yes, hello, yes, I'm very well rested after sleeping on my midnight lux. Helix mattress, good to see you, good to see you.

Your naps are stunning. I just wanted you to tell people about Helix sleep how the Helix lineup offers 20 unique mattresses, including the award-winning lux collection. The newly released Helix Elite Collection, a mattress designed for big and tall sleepers. Even a mattress made just for kids. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah and he looks knows there's no better way to test out a new mattress than by

sleeping on it in your own home. That's why they offer a 100-night trial in a 10 to 15 year warranty to try out the new Helix mattress. Who do you who who did I think you were? I don't know. I'm Meryl Sleep and I know everybody is unique and everybody sleeps differently. I just recommend taking the Helix Sleep quiz and you can figure out what mattress is right cheap for you. I don't know if you're a side sleeper or you sleep hot or cold or if you sleep like me. Meryl Sleep. Yeah, choosing the right mattress is a real Sophie's decision,

but don't just take our word for it, or Meryl Sleep's word for it. Heelix has been awarded the number one mattress picked by GQ and Wired Magazine. It was even recommended by multiple leading chiropractors and doctors of sleep medicine. Shh. I don't think I thought you were the person

that you were talking about. Who are, what a performance. Heelix mattresses all come with a 10 to 15 year warranty, depending on the model. Oh, stunning. Yeah, look, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to helixsleep.com slash riddle.

This is their best offer yet, and it will not last long, with Helix better sleep starts now. Go ahead and give her the Academy of Snorr. The Snorr? Academy of Snorr? You know what? You mean Academy of Snorr.

Glint close to falling asleep. That's why you're here. Oh, yeah. I got that a lot. Hey, Adel, hey, Aaron, I got a bone to pick with the two of you. Sure, yeah, I wore the skeleton outfit just because I figured this was coming. Happy Halloween a few months early. It's not yet.

What is it? So you know how the two of you, I was like, guys, I am always so hungry for lunches and dinners and the like and you jokers told me, oh, JPC, it's okay. All you have to do is take some you know American paper currency tape it to your front door close the door and then wait until someone brings you food Well, I kept opening the door and the money was gone So I had to take more money to my door. I think you think didn't work at all Door cash. Yeah, you did door cash. We you dore dash is the number one thing to you. What the hunk?

With dore dash, you'll enjoy next level convenience with delivery in the hour, making it easier than ever to get whatever you want delivered to your house, whether that be back to school supplies or whatever it is that you eat. JPC, which I don't know what you eat. I eat back to school supplies. But what? you eat JPC which I don't know what you eat. I eat back to school supplies. That's right. JPC all your favorite retail, grocery and convenient stores are on the app so you can chop everything, your kids, your dogs, your family might need for back to school.

And hey personally, just yesterday I bought some marshes homemade premium quality buck eyes. You know those candies that are chocolate stuffed with peanut butter. I just got those from DoorDash and they were on my porch within 20 minutes. And it's very dangerous because they're delicious. Did you fill your belly and your pantry? Yes. Did you fill your backpack? I did.

Okay, well, then DoorDash has come again for the gold. I remember distinctively the stress of going back to school and going from store to store to get all my favorite snacks and Pencils and pencil cases and all the things that I needed me and my siblings And I remember how stressed my mom was and I know that she would have loved to have door dash So she could be prepared before the big back-to-school day arrived So you can stock up with go-to breakfast lunch lunch box staples, and brands that you love. Don't eat my school supplies JPC. To be safe, but that eraser out.

Put that trapper keeper down, your mouth is too small. Never been told that before. Shop door dash to get everything you need for the back to school season delivered right to your door. Order now for stress free back to school shopping, use promo code riddle to get 50% off up to $10 value. When you spend $15 or more at convenience, grocery, or retail code RIDDLE to get 50% off up to $10 value. When you spend $15 or more at convenience, grocery, or retail stores on DoorDash, that's 50% off up to

a $10 value. When you spend $15 or more, promo code RIDDLE, don't forget JPC because you keep eating those school supplies. That's code RIDDLE for 50% off your next order, term supply. At all, JPC keeps eating my gel pens. Thanks, DoorCash. I mean, no, that's the one. That one didn't work. That one's bad. Hey, JPC. Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Atal.

And I'm sending up a whole website to prank bring them. Okay. I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online, whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand. Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website. It engaged with your audience and so take for products to cut into time all in

one place all on your terms. Hey, Addle, come here. Come here. Hey, what's what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace you can have custom merch? You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production, and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all?

Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna shoot you. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords our popular products and content on my prank website.

The prank's a tool of me. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. strategy based on top keywords are popular products and content on my prank website for prank activity. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. Yeah, the website was for. For prank. With Squarespace.

Yes, with. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey, hey, JPC, hey, JPC. What's up, Vattle? and it turned party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Madel? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her.

Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com, slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey, Aaron. Hey, Erin. Erin, can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. All right, all right. Look, I did other the break skim through the rest of that American doll

rental book and the riddles were very easy and the passengers were very long. So I decided maybe we pivot, maybe we, hey, maybe we come back to that segment. We already have a great theme song. It's Tom Petty's free fallen, but with our words to American. Exactly. Yes. Thank you. Instead, we got to, we got to die of a song to that. So why don't we move on to some actual fucking real in your face riddles? These are going to be riddles from listeners of the show that submitted these riddles. I want to say in 2018.

So that's fully almost five years ago, very insane, that we're going to read them now. But that is exactly what we're going to do. The first one comes from Paul. Paul says, there is one word in the English language that you can add one, two, or three s's to, and none of the resulting words are plural. What is that word? S. S.

S. S. You guys are so close. I mean, look at 3s is 2. And it doesn't add. So, the word is A. Because the A is a word. We always forget. S, S, S. Yeah, so the word is A.

Oh, because the A is a word. We always forget S. Is A the only word that's also a letter? I. Whoa. That was too easy and now I'm bored. No, I'm gonna act out. Cause I'm not going to answer.

Well Aaron, Paul does say that might be too easy done, but it was the first riddle I came up with. So Paul says really enjoying the podcast, keep up the great riddies and puzzies, Paul. Thank you so much for writing the email. And then let's see, 2018, congratulations on your marriage, your divorce, and raise your daughter by yourself. Oh, God. I'm just trying to fill the details of the blinds. Yeah, we have to. He does not listen to the show anymore. No, no, he gets your tickets now for the Charlie's Angels reboot, I think. What the hell happened that year?

I hope you're enjoying Incredibles too. These messages go back to 2018 for ball. Here's another one. This is also coming from 2018. This one's from Jacob. Jacob says, long time fan of Riddles and Puzzies, first time Riddles Submitter, it's semi spooky. So I guess it's fitting for the month of October. Well, good job, dumbass. You submitted the October,

but we're reading it in fucking March probably. He he he. Semisuke kind of life. All right, but it is spooky. I'm ready. Here we go. Alright, but it is spooky. I'm ready. Here we go. No matter what you try to do, I'll always be right next to you. I am the largest of my kind, so shouldn't be too hard to find.

I crave, but also fear, the sun. Some might just figure me for fun. I guard those that should stay inside when you see me. You may think hide What am I is it the weird guy down the street? I like to see it now this sucks because I live down the street for battle Hate to hear about it this way. Hey, do you fight that I disagree you for fun? Aaron

Adel you're just going for a walk around the neighborhood JBC you're the weird guy down the street and Adel you're just trying to walk by him without having to stop and talk to him of course the beautiful and the neighborhood of the day for a neighbor i think of and you know i think of and you know how did you how did you lift up that manhole cover so fast from below i got a pulley system uh? I got a pulley system I got a pulley system. I can't think of anything. Hey pulley my finger. No, I don't matter. It's too late You said you found my dog. I don't I think about your dog. I don't have a dog. You don't have a dog. No have a good day

No, no, no, I definitely found something of yours Let me look at my bag. Let go of my yours. Let me look at my bag. Let go of my leg. Let me look at my bag. Not a dog, you say? I don't, I'm not a dog, no. Did you lose a hand cuff key? Pink and fuzzy hand cuff key? Oh no, that sounds like maybe a solution.

I know, open Coca-Cola. One of those with the names on it. I'll open it for you. Here you go Your nails don't permit you to open well have a good day. No hold on. I found something of yours Don't you want it back? I don't think unless you were in my house. Yeah, can I pet you puppy? I don't if I find it Sure sure, man. Okay, well, do you lose a shrimp? Do you lose a shrimp? Do you lose a shrimp? That's not a shrimp and I know that this is a shrimp. That's a caterpillar. All right. This is a caterpillar Let's out in the ocean. Don't bite its head off. I have the ocean tastes like long John slivers. Oh

I I have to go. Did you stop me? What were we talking about? You used to we were going to a party together I have to go. Can you stop me? What were we talking about? You said we were going to a party together. You and I, we were walking to a party together. You seem to have an old-timey magnet on the top of your head like a hair band? No, take it off. Don't take it off. Okay.

Something will fall off. I can imagine. Have you ever seen those pens when you turn them up to down all the clothes fall off Yeah, naked pants nudie pants. Did you lose one? I don't have one No, I've only seen those like that for me. Yeah, those are so expensive. Have you ever been to a Spencer's? All right, I'm a pinker. How dare you? How dare you know you have to buy me dinner? I didn't know you have to buy me dinner When was that on the table? You're saying that like that was a previous cover, six point. All cook.

At your house, I cook at your house. We see them fall in love. We see you, just a cut scene of them having their first date. They're going for a walk holding hands. They, we see them at the altar. They're so in love and then we see them 20 years later. And then we zoom out and it's all in this man from the sewers mind.

Hey buddy. That was wonderful. What was? If we weren't married, how would I know you'd be the name? Yeah. Did Craig Mason write that? That was beautiful. Yeah, that was very scary movie for.

Yeah, that's my wheelhouse. That is my wheelhouse. That was incredible. That's not the answer. That's not the answer to today's riddle. What was the riddle? I'm so sorry. Long joist. I have no memory. Slivers?

Okay, no matter what you try to do, I'll always be right next to you. I am the largest of my kind, so shouldn't be too hard to find. I crave, but also fear the sun. Some might just figure me for fun. I guard those that should stay inside when you see me. You may think, hide, what am I? It's like a snow fort. I actually love this rental.

I think Jacob did a great job with this rental. It also seems original too. Maybe it's not, who does? It's no one. It's no one. No, it's not. Yeah, I said it's no fort. I don't know.

Aaron, so largest of my kind makes me think blue whale. Now, blue whale does protect you from the sun If you're inside of a blue whale Yeah largest of my mind is a fun clue to a cloud Oh, it is not a cloud largest of my kind now now is it a I crave but also fear the sun That's not a tree so it is now. No, it's not it's not water. No, it's not a tree. So here's who here's who fears the Sun snow Edipus is dad Irish people is it? Yeah, no oh

The Sun I was thinking Icarus oh no, I also would do this so the wax wings. Yeah, but it kills his dad right sure I don't do this stuff. Cause the wax wings, yeah, because I look as Kills is dad, right? Sure, sure, sure. We're all the same page. You need to do me like such a big favor. Can you give me a hand? I'm not gonna fuck off, Aaron.

I'm not gonna fuck off. Can you fuck off? Cause we were really on one. I do have some hints. I do have some hints if you could do your summits. Yes, one of these hints are also submitted by Jacob. Jacob says, the third line refers to the fact that blank is the largest of a particular group of things.

So I am the largest of my kind, largest of a particular group of things. So not like the largest in the world, but like the large, if you were, you know, it's like the, like how Eminem's peanuts is the largest Eminem. My peanuts. That's check me, fact check me.

Eminem's are way too low. Pretty good. I won't eat them anymore. I won't eat them anymore. Yeah, I'll eat them anymore. The sixth line is usually done by a trained professional, but not always. And that is the some might just figured me for fun.

Professionals, ice sculpture. It's not like a... Chainsaw, ice sculpture. Yeah, like a bush or like a... It's not like a natural thing that grows in the world. No, it's a natural thing. And it does typically, I would say, grow in the world. Yes. The eighth line is a play on words when you see me you may think hide

Oh, it's a it's a cow or a horse Okay, you're you're now you're like kind of on the right track with this Okay, what's the largest horse in the world? Though cow Scaleback well no alphins largest deer in the world the largest horse in the world is a cow. I love it world. No, no, cow. Not necessarily cow. Livestock. Farmer. You're really close,

I think you're kind of close with like leather or hide in that way. Leather hide. So what is someone to figure, I mean, make leather garments. They're touched to feel the fabric of our lives, cotton. So I crave but also fear the sun and I am the largest of my kind.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, it's like a fabric. No, it's not really a fabric. And that's a fact that we see. Can you do me the biggest favor? Can you give it this to us? Can you fuck off? I think it's really good. I think it's really good. Okay.

So do you see this might help? This might help my brain right now. Is it one particular type of animal or is it like a family of animal? Nope, not a type of animal, not a family of animal. It's not a type of animal, it's not a family of animal. I love that question. We'll cover.

But we're close with hide. Yes, hide is like very, very close. Wow, Aaron, you have a leather pool cover at home. Must be nice. Rich, rich, rich, rich. All right, can I also say, can I also say that? It doesn't work. We're all the pool covers ruined again. I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it.

I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it.

I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it.

I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it. I'm not going to get it. I'm not a group of animals. It's not. I can't do this. I need a better hint. I need a way. Okay, okay. Let's see. The, I am the largest of my kind is kind of this thing that like you would say to people for this thing in particular of like, what's the biggest blank?

And people would be like, is it this? And be like, no, it's actually this. It's like, skin. Erid, it's skin. Oh, the biggest organ, wow. Yes. And actually the biggest organ. Wow. Yes. And actually, the biggest organ is in a church in Prague, but we'll get there.

That church in Prague has nothing on my fucking skin. Aaron's because he wants upwards like a. Pippy long stock. Like a Pippy long stocking. That's what happens when I get a riddle right. It goes. You look like a upside down M, which is I guess a W. I'd like to see a scene.

Jacob did say give my love to Ritty Kitty to which I have to say Jacob. Unfortunately, Ritty Kitty died. I think somewhere in 2018, 2019, so unfortunately, we can't. We will put flowers on Ritty Kitty's grave, though. I'd like to see a scene. You are two friends at the beach and Adel, you don't believe in sunscreen and JPC your confused as to why. Okay. Oh, happy graduation again, buddy. Yeah, thanks so much, man. You know, I was really upset by that song that kept playing. What was that vitamin C or something or boss Lerman?

Was that song kept saying always wear your sunscreen? Oh, really? It felt like there's an agenda. No, I think what was happening was that song was playing and I was telling you don't forget to put sunscreen on because graduation was outside and I was, oh, I'm sorry, was that me move to? Can you move that umbrella? I don't want it.

Oh, oh, I'm trying to get direct rays. Yeah, man. Really? Because that's like, that's like really bad for you, right? Like because you're very you have very Like fair complexion. Oh, thank you so much snow white over here. I'm snow white well, you're gonna be snow like Crispy red like bacon. You're you're cooking in the sun. Have you not put sunscreen on? No, not in 19 years

Let me just get some water on my body here all over these weird lumps Hey, yeah Drake like didn did no one ever tell you to That you had to put sunscreen on like you're outside in the sun like you you should put sunscreen on for sure My name is Drake Wellington my parents invented beef Wellington So I think I'm rich enough to avoid any sort of Skin issue if that makes sense. I think my parents have the money for it maybe. Let me just check my fifth third bank account. Yep, $28,000.

So I think I'm gonna be five. Yeah, we know that your parents keep you loaded constantly with 28K for walking around money. If it ever did, look below that. It double. Look around. DZO, no one else from our classes here, and it's just me, And we've gone through four

years of school, high school, and it's just been the two of us, and we've never had other friends. Huh. Because now that you're saying it, this is all hitting pretty hard. Yeah, that's because you're weird, and even though you're rich, no one wants to hang out with you. So should I pay you more? No, it's not about paying me Drake. It's about it's about paying yourself with kindness doing a kindness to yourself so that other people will be attracted to you Okay, I just vennman myself $1,500

Drake, it's not impressive. Look Vennos says can't perform action Drake I bet I'll be honest with you. I think that this is our last day together. What? Yeah, I'm in. Mitch, we started from the bottom. Now we're here. Wait, we're sorry.

Well, if it isn't Drake, Wellington, and Mitch sunscreen from the big sunscreen family, do the Lou boys have a good summer? By Priscilla Puffy Eyes. Whoa, she's been crying. Humbah, Humbah. I tired. This is my thing.

This is why I'm out of here, friends. It's funny because you were working for big sunscreen the whole time. That was a big deal. That was a big deal. It was just a generic last name. I wasn't Mitch Coppertowder. No, I'm not. I was just a generic last name. I was, um, I was a Mitch Copper toad or. No, no, no, no, no.

I wasn't Mitch banana boat. No, I'm good. Go back in time. I'm chasing all back in time. I want to make a Mitch banana boat. Who was that little dog that kept pulling down shorts? Was that Copper toad? That was a cop show. George W. Bush.

That little, that's what that man threw a shoe out of. I can't pull him down shorts. Mission accomplished. Get away from my shorts. I threw a shoe out of him. I'm sure mission accomplished. I love when that man threw a shoe out of him. W. Bush. I love when powerful men look so stupid. It makes me so horny. It's so good.

When the Pope did that lady and he looked like an idiot, love it. Someone throwing a shoe at George Bush, love it. George Bush senior throwing up on an important trip. And then he was so embarrassed. George Bush, love it. George Bush senior throwing up on like an important trip and then he was so embarrassed. Oh, I love it. Also just even not seeing it, but hearing about George W. Bush

almost choking the death on a pretzel. I'm surprised. That this man has a security team of 25 people. He's an Air Force 2, whatever the like diamond made helicopter and he almost dies from a pretzel bite. Like that's outstanding. George Bush, the painter. Simon made helicopter and he almost dies from a pretzel bite. Like that's outstanding. George Bush, the painter.

Georgia Oh Bush. George Oh Bush. That's his pseudonym for what he paints. Okay, I think, look, I think we have time for one more riddle. So this one's from Kim. Kim writes, listen from Pennsylvania, we hope. Maybe that was, that was in 2018. Kim probably loves it a bunch of states by now.

Camps has I've created what I believe to be an original ready and it It can aids your favorite favorite subject matter a dead guy. Here we go Please arrive at a crime scene and find a man dead in his home in one hand He is clutching a gun and the other an open candy bar upon for further investigation The police find that the gun has recently been fired However, the man has no visible wounds and there are no victims in the house. Besides, I assume the man... What happened? Okay, so you said recently...

Fire gun. And he said candy bar. Now, recently... Sounds like Reese's. You got bullets in my peanut butter. So I think what happened is the man has a split personality. He was eating a twist, two for me, not you. Okay.

And he has a split personality. He started to eat the twigs. His other personality surface to try and eat the other twigs. He got mad and said, I'll kill you. Grab the gun, shot himself, which happened also be the split personality. Well, he does not, okay, I will say. That's a really great guess, not really. I don't know why I'm cute.

I'm curious. Interesting. That's a really great guess, not really. I don't know why I'm a huge. Where are you? Interesting. That's a really great guess. He gave birth to you or whatever. I don't know what your relationship is. Aaron has a marching band. He's just like slushing around. He does not have any visible wounds.

The man has no wounds on it. So he does not have a gunshot wound on him. Oh, it's like an emotional gun. Can you read this again? Because I think I'm confused. Okay, so police arrive at a crime scene. They find a man dead in his home and one handy is clutching a gun and the other an open candy bar. Upon further investigation, the police find the gun has recently been fired. However, the man has no visible wounds and there

are no other victims in the house. What happened? Ah, check out Snickers. He's allergic to the candy bar for sure. Aaron, yes, that is part of it. Would you like to solve the puzzle? Can you solve the rest of the crime? You thought it was God, Mozannape pen. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I got stuck by a hornet. Blam! Boom! Um, um, that's a candy bar. He's allergic to the candy bar. It's an almond joy. He was...

Let's call it an almond joy. And then he saw someone was breaking in the house. Um, no, not exactly. Not exactly. Is this a pun? He tried to shoot the candy bar to a bed. He tried to shoot it out of his mouth. Uh, no, it's not a pun. It's not a pun? Shoot the candy bar. Do a bad guy. Just shoot it out of his mouth. No, it's not a pun.

It's not a pun. It's that there is a reason the gun was fired. Wait, it was fired. The gun was recently fired, but there's no visible wound. Did you say where the, where there was a visible bullet hole? No, let's assume that they'd never found the bullet hole or whatever. So they could tell the gun was fired. So it's a starting pistol and he's trying to scare himself

like out of At the end of like the shop I know I know I know I know I know I know Please so he started going into Like shock and then you wanted the neighbors to call 911 to have the ambulance has come so he fired the gun So people would call 911 because everyone knows everyone rush. So he fired the gun so people would call 911. Because everyone knows, everyone rushes towards a fired gun.

Yeah. Well, here's the thing. 911, that's three buttons on a cell phone. Gun, that's only one button, baby. America. Bang, bang, bang. You're right, you're the same. Yes, so he knew that he was unable to speak

because he was going into anaphylactic shock. So he think quickly he grabbed his gun, knowing that if he fired someone would call the police, thus creating a crime scene for the unlawfully discharged fire arm. Kim says, love the show, keep up the great work. Can we love a quick check into this email from 2018? Still loving the show?

We're on today. Silence. We are on wanted. History and humanity says that everyone will assume someone else will call about the gun and nothing will be done So you're wrong, can't bad riddle man. What what a fucking shame Hey, we that's all the time we have for riddles, but I went to I went to our mailbox to the day and I picked up a ton of mail So I think it's time for a male segment Casey

You've got a ladder, or a package, or a postcard or a note. You want to send it to a red-o-show. Little show Two JTC or two Air and Keith Or Addle if you please They just might read it on the show Six, three, five, one West mind troze Number two, six, two six, two six, two seven, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six six, two six, two six six, two six, two six, two six six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six, two six six, two six, two six, two six six six, two six, two six, two six six, two six, two six six, two six six, two six six, two six, two six, two You see, I'm gonna write you a mail theme Cause you made something and you mailed it If it's all this way, not gonna force you to say I'll just another package, but if you do then I'll be happy to write you A mail theme today

Today, yeah, yeah Today. Today. Yeah. Yeah. Male. All right. I'm sorry Sarah Burrellis wrote us a male theme. Yeah, she's great. We're personal friends. GPC. You're saying. Yeah. That's actually not me.

That's Jason Razz. Oh. Runsperres. Yeah. GPCs don't ever say you've never done work for the show. Yeah, yeah, that's actually not me. That's Jason Razz. Oh, raspberries. GPC don't ever say you've never done work for the show. Come on, that took some effort. That was awesome. No, Aaron, he says you and I don't do any work for the show. That's what he says. I do stuff like that in my sleep.

Okay, well, we did get a bunch of mail. So we'll give some shout outs. Someone sent us a bunch of stickers from Redbubble, so that's pretty cool. We got a bunch of stickers. Did not come with a note. And someone also may have already emailed me and said I said the stickers, so I apologize.

We also got two cool postcards. So shout out to Zoe, who is a board college student sending us a postcard of, it looks like a lot of bison or buffalo. And then we got one from here at the digital nomad all the way from Portugal. Cool. Wow, that's very cool. Living in Portugal, listening to our show,

so shout out for living in Portugal. Another thing that we got is we got a Christmas card from, let's see, Zach and Adrian, maybe it's a Christmas card, and they're CatCinder. And it's a Christmas card of their cat's face, chasing them down in the woods. So I think that's incredible. Heaven, I love Christmas card I their cat. Catch chasing them down in the woods. So I think that is incredible. Kevin, I love it.

That's the best Christmas card I've ever seen. We also got, we're racking them up at this point. We got two save the dates for two different weddings. Yay! So we probably won't make it, but a quick shout out to Paige and Colin. Congratulations on getting engaged. Where's their wedding?

Tink, tink. Well, see, Paige and Colin's wedding is, I don't know, I'd have to visit their wedding website, which I'm not going to do, but you know it's somewhere. It looks like maybe the woods. I'll be there. I'll be there. And then we also got one from Jillian and Anthony. Jillian and Anthony sent a magnet wedding invitation.

That's going up in a fridge. Where's that one? It's in California, I'll go. It's on the fridge. Also, I would have to go to their wedding website. So I have no idea where and I will never. No, you don't click this. But they're both coming up.

So they're both coming up. And I'll be there. I'll be there. I'll be there both and stake please. That is a lot of stuff. The lobster please. Lobster please. And then the last thing that we got,

and this was one that took me a second to kind of understand what it was. I did not do this when I was in school, but Aaron, this is from a teacher in brain tree Massachusetts. Oh, yeah. This is Adrian or Adrian. Well, you did this in high school that somebody sends sex in the mail. I worked at the brain, a brain tree plaza.

I worked in brain tree. And I've been at a brain, a brain tree plaza. I worked in brain tree. And I've been at a million times. And this is, they are a second grade teacher and they had their kids in class to a flat Stanley project. You guess familiar with flat Stanley? One of my favorite children's characters. Flat Stanley is a kid who has run over by a steamroller.

Now, you think he would die? No, no, no. He gained powers where he can slip under any door. That leads him to a lot of magical adventures and him being folded into an airplane and thrown around the world. Flatstand. There was one child who did not submit a address because you're supposed to send your flat Stanley off to someone else, but Luna did not have an address that she submitted. And so this teacher just sent it to us and it to our riddle

podcast instead. So we have a flat Stanley doll that was made by second grader Luna and an email address. We're supposed to write him an email of what Stanley got up to in Chicago with Hey River Riddle and then send him off to a sum of other podcasts. So maybe the Dutch is daddy's career was going to be getting a flat Stanley. But this flat Stanley says, don't let me hug you dream. Can't see you. Which is my whole program. That's a direct line from hologram climb.

And also this one eye with like a blacked out eye patch on it and it's smiling. So really a terrifying thing to send someone to the mail. I can't imagine that I'll be forwarding this onto anyone because it should be a crime. But thank you so much for everyone who sent mail. And again, if you ever want to send us mail, listen to that fucking song again and figure out what the address is.

Let's see, someone wrote it down here. Here we go. It's Hey Riddle Riddle, 6351 West Montrose Ave, number 267 Chicago, Illinois, 60634. And we've also been getting a ton of voice mails, but I got to say to everyone submitting voice mails, 30 seconds or less. It's never going to go in the show if it's not 30 seconds or less. Some people, hey, I love listening to these two minute long things, but I just, I just look, if it's two minutes long, it's going to be a parody song that I make.

That's how it's going to get on the show. Otherwise, otherwise, it's not. 30 seconds or less. But please keep sending up 30 seconds or less. Or it's free. And JPC, just a, just a pause for a moment. We really have to, as a kid say, we should really give you your flowers.

That theme was fantastic. I, hey, all credit goes to Miss Sarah Bareilles who brought that theme to all of us, you know, 15 years ago or whatever. Are we saying her last name right, Borrelis? Borrelis, Borrelis, Borrelis? Aurora, Borrelis, Sarah. Bareilles. Bareilles. Bareilles. Aurora. Boris. Sarah. Bareilles. Adelaide.

You know what Sarah? Sarah, you're, wait, you're always welcome on the show. Sarah, you ever want to come on the show? You, you have a guest spot waiting for you. She would hate it here. I love her so much. Not that today. Today we were on one. Adelaide. Anything to plug. Yes. Actually, I have a new podcast coming out. Maybe by the time this airs, the first episode will be out. This is a game show that I am hosting with creator Eric Silver, who's been on one of our Patreon episodes.

This is a game show called Tell Me About It. I think the first episode with Matt Young talking about Legos should be out now. We've also had, I believe episode two or three has Janet Varney talking about miniatures. We also have episode two or three featuring JPC or on JPC talking about the Witcher. Hopefully Aaron comes on a future episode. We'll see if she's not getting stung by wasps. So check out the new game show podcast. Tell me about it where people talk about their passions and I put them through their paces. Is that the right way to say that? I put them through their paces. It was a very, very fun show. I really had a great time on it. Hell yeah. Aaron Keefe, do you have anything to plug? Yeah. sitcom D&D is out for season three right

now. We've recorded I think over half the season at this point and it's really fun. A lot more D and D this season. And so if you want to check that out, anywhere you've listened to podcasts, JPC, can you read a review of the show or plug something? I actually do have something to plug today and this involves both of you on Saturday, March 11th, starting at 10 a.m. Central time on Twitch.tv slash Shark Parkman. I'm going to be doing a 10, 12 hour fundraiser stream because my older brother is running for city council in Indianapolis, city council district 14, I believe. You can go

to Jesse, J-E-S-S-E, for Indy.com, if you live in Indianapolis, to check out his website and his platform. But I'm going to be raising funds for his campaign so we can pay for door knockers and flyers and all the good things that you do when a city council seat. Adel and Aaron are gonna be joining me at some point during it, I believe that we're gonna be playing among us.

We're also gonna be playing among us for tonight. We're gonna be amongst us, thank you. We're gonna be chatting with people from his campaign. We're gonna be chatting with my older brother. There's tons of cool stretch goals, there's tons of cool rewards for a you come and and donate and pledge some money So please check out that fundraiser again. It is March 11th Saturday, March 11th starting at 10 a.m. Central time and going Pretty much all day. So you will if you tune in some time that day you will you will find you will find the stream

That's fantastic. I'm very much looking forward to being on that. It should be very, very fun. Aaron, I don't know. I just looking through articles about hologram elephants or anything. I saw a new article that star doctors, space doctors say that there's a new planet in the sky that's really on one this year.

Do you know what planet they're talking about? I can't read the fine phrase. Let me look. Let me look at it. I did Jupiter. Bye forever. I was so fun to be on one today with you guys. Really on one, so now, I can't wait to give you off one off one to the next floor of the Guardian. I'm having a I'm having a very good time me too

You guys aren't as bad as I say, huh? What? What? What? You guys are way better than I've been telling you. Wait, let me check Reddit, Aaron. What is that post about? I'm active. What? What? Hey there, blueberries and lobsters. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon.

It's another edition of our state series, and this time, we're going to Maine. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com such a riddle riddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or the review crew and you get those ad free episodes for $8 a month. See you there!