Hey Riddle Riddle - #244: How Did Grandma Get the Invite?

Episode Date: March 22, 2023

Old Man Puzzles and his Menace Twins have another humdinger for all the good little Sprint-fish out there! This episode has everything: a new voice-changer, visions of our demise, and traumatizing our grandmas. All that, plus it's got a gym teacher who can't catch a break, two pests bugging a host, some real money making tips, an ice breaker with a twist, and a couple of dry house-sitters! We love our riddle submitters! Keep 'em coming to [e-mail].   Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to mail us something?  Hey Riddle Riddle  6351 W Montrose Ave #267 Chicago, IL, 60634 Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531) Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fm This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/riddle and get on your way to being your best selfSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. All right, okay, look, I gotta apologize here. We messed up this year. We planned to just dye the river green for the weekend, but we use the wrong kind of dye. We use industrial food coloring. Yeah. And the river's gonna be permanently green unless it's food coloring, so it's edible.

We could eat enough of the river that it goes back to just normal river color. Johnny, Johnny, drink. Yep, drink. What's that? Have a drink. I wish it were that simple. I wish it were that simple.

Listen, uh, City Council, um, thank you for having us. We, uh, the fish are dead. The fish are dead, but that, that's not the worst part. They're dead, but they're mutating. So it's sort of a zombie situation. The fish have grown legs. So it's sort of a zombie situation, the fish have grown legs. So it's back to you. Do you remember primordial ooze when the fish walked out of the water? That's what we're dealing with here is that time has become a loop, a looping

mistress. Excuse me. I was drunk in River North and I fell in the river and now I look like Shrek. Sorry. Now I look more like Shrek. All right, I'm actually pulling up body. Hold on now. I'm pulling up a picture of this person's Instagram right here. It looks like you looked pretty much like Shrek before you fell in that river. Hey! I'm just saying you can't sue the city. If you already look like Shrek, when you know, if you fell in the river, you looked like like this gentleman here. You said me? No, well, no, bad example. Also looks a little bit like Shrek. What are you pointing to me? Definitely not you. Quick scan of the room. Who do we have in here? You man, you man with the back with the hat. Can you take the hat off?

I don't want you to see my greed hair. Okay, that's a Shrek, that's also a Shrek person. Okay, let's look at Shrek. Scanning around the room, it looks like it's mostly Shrek people here. I do Shrek Donkey, yeah. Yeah. Looks like there's a donkey in the body with one. Oh, are you saying the cast of.L.V. in Chicago anymore?

What are you saying? Well, Chicago famously used to be a marsh land or a swamp as you would put it, which is where it gets its name from the wood onion because it's a very marshy land. And actually they built a lot of buildings on the marsh and they started to sink so they had to put levels underneath it to get a foundation. And we all learned a little something today. I think that means the meeting is adjourned. Fishercoming, the Fishercoming, and the Fisher's

printing, the Fisher's printing. And there's no other business that I just have to welcome you all to another episode of Hey Ritter Rittle. I'm JPC. I'm Adolfo. And I'm Aaron Keith. And who are you sprinting fish out there? I'm JPC. I'm Adolfo. And I'm Aaron Keith. And hello. And hello, you sprinting fish out there.

And the new thing that we call our fans, the sprinting fish and say Patrick's Day may be over in the streets, but it's just beginning in the sheets. That's right. You can fuck all martial law to say Patrick's Day. March your ass to bed. March your ass to bed.

Drive the snakes out of my car. I have to apologize. Hold on. So in this analogy, the snakes aren't your cock. The snakes are in your cock. Well, what are sperm but little snakes? Oh, I'm gonna go get some frozen yogurt while you to sort this out. Okay, well, we did need a tiebreaker on that, but I guess if it is, we need to go out there for the first video, okay. Oh, boy, oh boy. Hey, I gotta say, how was everybody's day? Well, I'm gonna go ahead and say pass.

Oh, we're fun, a friend, because I woke up 20 minutes ago. 20 minutes ago, the classic, the adult classic. And I'm also gonna say pass, because like, adult, I don't like participating. Interesting. I will say I've been on two walks already today with my dog in the first walk. Someone almost hit me with their car

cause they just blew past the stop sign, which I've said on record, the way that I die is a car will blow past the stop sign and kill me. So just all the times that I've said, I would be proven so right. That time I was holding a bag of dog shit in my hand. I did throw it at the guy that did explode

on the back of his passenger side window. The second person that ran a stop sign, what the hell was he killed me? You threw the bag at the car, it exploded. Did they stop? No, they were already, they were, I mean, they were going fast. They were long gone. Nope, they were already, they were, I mean, they were going fast. They were long, okay.

Yeah. They did that stop. The second guy that almost ran a stop sign, he slammed on his brakes when he saw me in the middle of the intersection. I pointed to the stop sign and I mouthed stop sign to him. And then he rolled out the window and called me an asshole. The guy who almost killed me with a car

called me an asshole. Sounds about right? Yeah. They always right. Yeah. They always do. JPC when you inevitably die from somebody wanting to get something. 100%. Do you want to paint your casket red as like a fun little tip of the hat to that? I, you know when like, and this is morbid, but you know when people die at the side of

the road and they put those like little white crosses like, you know, a person like a pedestrian was struck here. I don't want a white cross. I want a, like go to Kinko's get one of those a full body like a printouts of me, like a wrap around for the stop sign. And it's just me on the stop sign with my finger pointed at the stop sign

and a big bubble coming out of my mouth that says stop sign. And a little kids can press a little button. It'll just be my voice My voice say like stop sign. Do you know how many people are going to call that cut out an ass although? You're going to get a good death. They're going to yell at you. Hey Aaron, he looks like what? Can't blame him.

And I'll say on the spot where I die, I want the two of you to and it's going to be tough. I want the two of you to track down one of those hundred foot skeletons from home to depot and place it wherever I die. I don't we've tried and we can't. I will. It's my mission to find one. Before, I mean, this year I'm going to be on the grind. I'm staying low to the ground. I'm staying limber. I'm staying loose. I'm doing my exercises, my calisthenics.

I'm going to get you on those skeletons. Army crawling throughout your neighborhood. Now, I feel really jealous of you. Oh, sorry, please. Why is that, Aaron? Because I don't get to move through the world where I can seek as much justice as you can. I have to be worried about being murdered.

You do know that I'm going to be killed for this, though. I know, but just, I'm not worried about people murdering me. I just feel like I don't have the, I don't know, the ability to yell in throw things if I can do it. Anyone can do it. You just have to accept the fact that it will be the way that you die. You can pretty much do anything of this world

if you accept that there's the possibility that you are killed for this. Just don't fear, which is, what we're talking about is the exact premise to push and boots. That's true. So good. Aaron, it's incredible. Aaron, I will say, I think you have that switch in you, but it comes out one in a way more tame fashion and two, it comes out when I think you're in a safe situation. So I remember you saying there's somebody who like cut you in line or something. Oh, yeah And you're like, oh yeah, cut in line. We're

all just cutting in line. So I feel like you have the ability to as I do, where I typically don't, but there'll be something where I'm like, I have a good, I'm surrounded by 50 people. I probably won't be killed. So I'm going to be no longer a little mouse. I'm going to speak up. I mean, Addle, you also definitely have that switch in you because it, as the doctor said, if you don't also swallow some joysticks, it's pretty much useless in there. Like, your stomach has to, it's not gonna be able to play that thing. Yeah, and it was $300, so, and there's a switch pro coming out. So I feel so stupid by swallowing this one.

I know. But the news is coming out, so I might have to. You might have to. It's on cost. Maybe swallowing this one. I know. But the news is coming out so I might have to. He might have to. Sun cause. Maybe I can trade this one in. But that was my good news. I do have some terrible news for you guys. That was your good news.

That was my good news. And I have some bad. And I want to bring the show down too much but I do have some bad news. OK. And the bad news is over the weekend. I downloaded a new voice changer. That I am probably going to be using a lot of the weekend. I don't let it a new voice changer. That I am probably going to be using a lot of the shots.

Oh, that- Everyone just whirved into another lane by accident out of fear, and they weren't even driving. My radio's possessed. Oh, well, hey, look, if you thought that was bad, you just wait until you're not expecting it at all because hey, it's here now and it's 11. Where do you get these wonderful toys?

As Jack mentioned, I want to come on. I want to come on. Where do you find these wonderful toys? I've tried to download guilt fish or whatever the last one was you had, but I couldn't figure it. It wasn't for Mac maybe.

What was it called? Something like that. You shouldn't be eating me. I'm high in mercury. Don't eat me. Don't put me in your mouth. You've already had you already had fish. What's this week?

Gilt fish. My basically playing my mom. No, I don't. I don't. We got to get you guys on Windows PC because I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. You're both on max.

I don't know how to do. I don't know how to do it for max. We got what got. Well, will you try? Let me build you gamer rigs. I don't know how to do it. I don't know my Twitch stream begging me to be like, when will Aaron do a Twitch stream? And I'm like, you know I'm not her, right? Like you got to, you got to go to her. People would love to see you do that.

If I, if you would actually use that Aaron wig I sent you, then you could beat me. He hasn't even worn it. I am using it. I'm using it. I'm using it. I'm just doing my thing. I'm still in groceries with it. I'm going to buy things with it. I don't want to say you're here.

Your hair is coming back nicely. Oh, thank you. I don't want to do it with your air and wig. I put my air and wig on a pillow and I sleep on top of it and cry. Aww. It's sort of a comfort. That actually begins a lot. And I drew a bit of my face on top of being crying. It's sort of a comfort. That actually begins a lot. And I drew a bit of my face on the pillow, yeah.

And while I put gum in the hair, just to make it a true Aaron pillow. If you think Aaron's Sims twitch channel would sell well, you have no idea how well the Aaron pillow will sell that. That thing is going to be flying up the shelf. It smells like cheese. It smells like cheese. I'm just saying, keep sleeping. I'm so sleepy. Um, I have a question.

I know we have to do riddles or whatever the fuck this show is. I don't know what we're gonna learn. Hold on. Hey, get to do riddles. I can't get to. I can't keep saying this enough. I love the show. I love my friend.

Everything good. I'm good. Um, why haven't we ever been each other for Halloween or for a live show? Oh, wow. On Instagram, I forget their name, but they were, they were me for Halloween one year, and it was incredible. They had, uh, plaid red shirt they had a hat they put it, they drew a little beard on. Yeah.

Uh, uh, a wonderful young woman who did that, but I can't remember their name. Um, that's, that's a good costume because Adel has a very consistent style that I think you could pull off in a costume. Some say my style is immovable. There was those two guys and forgive me. I know their names but I can't think of them up in my head. Oh, Madison Gallant. Yes, exactly.

They were at the New York live show. The property brothers. And they truly looked like fun house mirror versions of the two of you and it was absolutely Oh, yeah, they're so funny, but I think for a live show Maybe if we do want around Halloween, I I would like for us to each dress like each other deal Aaron yeah, do you know the only problem with that? Yeah Is there there are I mean that really that really limits us because there are about

22 states I think at this point who have passed anti drag bills so there a big portion of our market is cut off from us being able to perform that way sorry Tennessee. We probably won't make it down there. Oh right I forgot that fascism is back in a big way. Yeah. probably won't make it down there. Oh right, I forgot that fascism is back in a bag. Yeah, he was pretty good. But here's what all the trees bad. Here's what I'll say, we won't be performing there because our show is a drag.

Our show's a bit of a bummer. People compare our show to a drag race and that it smells like burning tires. You're saying that. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That's great. And cheese. Is anyone watching the new cheese and then drag race? Yes. Oh yeah. Okay, cool. We'll talk about it later.

Then. The most recent episode. Absolutely. Oh really? I haven't seen it yet. I like there's no, there's no solid comedy queens, but I have three clear favorites. Three clear favorites, but no. Who are your favorites?

Marsha, Marsha, Marsha. Yeah, me too. An, a Neetra. Mm-hmm Marcia, Marcia. Yeah, me too. Anitra. A hundred percent. And then Sasha Colby. Yeah, I have the exact same top three. Done and done.

Done and now. That's why. I think Sasha Colby and Winning, but Anitra Colby is the great winner as well. Yeah. Anyways, let's do some riddles. He needs keys. Aaron, you asked for it. And you know what I did today is I reached back into that old email that we got kicking around. Uh, uh, scrolled, scrolled back to about 1500 emails all the way. If you watch JPC to do your tax, taxes email, our podcast

at gmail.com and he'll do them for free. He didn't even answer so. I wouldn't do that. I could have people send me their tax information. I just plugged into turbo tax and they're like charge them. Like, double. I could probably do that. Nice little side hustle.

Okay, so these are from Anna. Anna writes, I came up with this, or this riddle, while half asleep, which is stuff pretty cool. And the other half, we don't know. We have to assume anytime canonically, historically, medically, anytime an anna is half asleep, they are referred to as an anna banana. Oh, wow. Yeah.

Okay. So half asleep half banana. Anna banana and pajamas. Okay. Coming down the stairs. Here we go. This is, this I think has a little bit of warm up brittle flair to it.

What bird has, that'll just slap me hard across the chest. Of the big red or quelled up my chest. She's not just too sweet. That hurts way more than you think it does at all. I know it gets a big pop from the crowd, but holy fuck hey JBC. I'm a heel. What do you want me to do? I'm gonna throw you in the ropes. Okay, I'm gonna need to do heels on one big podcast Oops all heels Which is also gonna be my drag costume three heels on one

Oops all heels. Oh my God. You walking at heels. Okay. What bird has neither feathers nor wings yet flies through the air with ease. Drunk penguin. Big bird. Drunk penguin. Drunk big bird. Is it an airplane? So here's the thing. I think there are probably a lot of pretty good acceptable answers to this. Airplane is not one of them. Airplanes, I would say, have wigs.

What about what you're doing a very dramatic and hit all finger at someone? That is really good air. That one actually works because there's no feathers or wigs on that bird. I will say, you're lucky air and start talking about it cause your ass almost got a dead stop on airplanes don't have ways

Well, I'm gonna continue my my theorem here. My wife is a flight attendant and she let me know those are not we are They are I'm sorry their arms and the little wheels are the legs And they folded in I think she is messing with the body. No, she wouldn't do that It is a possible, that you're interpreting the way that your wife has to explain things to you, like you are a child as factual information about plants? Oh, I see it now. Oh, no, guys, I gotta go.

Oh, is it a whirlie bird? The little, like when trees, there's a certain tree that drops a seed and it has that little one. Oh, I love those. Those things are really fun to watch. Wing seed. I remember when I was a kid being at recess and we would just pick up like handfuls of

those and throw them into the air. I love, love watching those things spin around a fly again. I will say yes. I mean, that is another, just like Aaron's middle finger answer. That is another acceptable answer. It's not the one that we're looking for. Can we have a hint? No question, your honor.

What bird has neither feathers nor wings yet flies to the air with ease? I guess that your hint would maybe be, and this is kind of a big blanket hint, but it's sports, like sports would be a very bad man. Oh, like a hearty abadmin. Yeah, wow.

I thought sports was gonna be confusing, but you both went to the badminton birdie. Is the birdie in the shuttlecock something different? Uh, I don't think so. I think I think I think birdie is a term that high schools came up with because GMP teachers were laughed off the fucking court. Every time they said, here's your shuttlecock. And I went with snicker, snicker, teachers were laughed off the fucking court. Every time they said, here's your shuttlecock. And then I went with Snickers, Snickers, Snickers,

Reese's, Reese's, Reese's, and say, you know, Mr. Thompson just said shuttlecock. And then Thompson has to be like, we have to see it, see. Adel, you can be Mr. Thompson. You are a high school, or maybe not even a high school. Maybe we'll just say like a great school, middle school gym teacher.

And you are explaining a game that Aaron and I were going to be students that are we're about to play. But the game has just some very unfortunate like silly or sexual sounding words and that you have to just kind of get through. All right. I'm only going to say this one time now. Red team over here behind the line. Blue team here closer to the net. Now what's gonna happen is... These pennies smell like peanut butter. That's because they've been soaked overnight in peanut butter. Now that jar of pennies it smells like peanut butter that's called a twat. Now someone's gonna grab the twat. Oh what? Oh wait! Oh what? Don't say a what like that guy in jaws who asked what type of shark it is. It's a it's called the twine.

Wait, wait, move here. Are you talking about? We're 12. There's a moment in jaws where he goes. Jaws, we is that. Okay, listen. Everyone grab your fallacies. these are gonna be like a wee they are joysticks which ones of fallace that ones of fallace and the

other one is a I hate to say this. That is a... Oh boy. Okay, fingers crossed it. Hurry, we're gonna forget! That's called... a dongle. Alright, okay. I told you once I'm handing out the tensions for anyone who recreates the SNL sketch the Californians.

I'm tired of hearing it. If anyone keeps keeps doing the voice you're going straight to detention Okay, but how do we get to detention again? Could you describe the process to get us to the attention? A lot of like different hallways that we have to take yes Unfortunately, we let the students name the hallways here and much like a street system It is on a grid so there's multiple streets now you're gonna go north on pussy juice lane take a ride on

we the Californians but make it sexual yeah those kids don't know jaws but do know the sketch from a decade ago, the California. Hold on, Aaron, those are like 40 years apart. Whatever. When Adam was also thought about some things, when you were a kid, did you know what like a phallus was? I feel like there would be no way that I'd be as a kid.

I do the word phallus and be like, okay. All I knew was penis and vagina and it was hilarious. I only knew phallus when I got, I was a freshman in college and we did Lissa Strata. I was a male chorus leader and we had to have these giants like six foot pool to boners on because all the men were supposed to be deprived of sex and so we had raging hardons. And that was the first show my grandfather came to. And I remember, I'm basically naked with like a like a not even a tunic but just like a

wrap around my waist and then a giant six foot pool noodle cock. Should you remember afterwards my mom made your grandma come. No, it's insane. I remember afterwards my mom being like a good show sweetie and then being like grandma's upset or like grandma. Yeah, grandma's upset. Yeah, but no shit. Maybe it wasn't that exact or any, but it was something where she's like, yeah,

I grabbed it and cared for it. I'm like, yeah, no duh. Hey, I have a question, Adel. Did you know what you would be doing in the play? When you were in it, like the night of the play that it's gonna, the curtains about to go up, did you know that you had the pool noodle and the dicks and everything? You knew all that stuff, right? Your honor, I fear I'm gonna incriminate myself.

So I would be... How do we have a good invite? How honor, I fear I'm gonna incriminate myself. So I- How do we have a good The Invit? How do we have a good The Invit? That's my question. Can that be the title of this episode? How did Graham and the Gamevite? How did Graham and the Gamevite? That sounds like a Thanksgiving song.

I remember once, I did like sketch comedy in high school in college, and I remember once my grandparents were asking me if they could come to the show. And in my mind, I knew the set list, and I was going over my mind, and I was like, okay, I think there's nothing that they can, there's nothing in the show that I do.

There's other stuff that is gross or whatever that other people do, but there's nothing in the show that I do that wouldn't's other stuff that is like gross or whatever that other people do, but there's nothing on the show that I do that is not, that is like, wouldn't be kosher for them, but I was like, I'll run through the set list one more time. And like the first one, I don't remember what it was, but it was something like the diarrhea song, and I was like, oh, nope, you're right.

I sing the diarrhea song in the very first sketch, so nope. Never mind, never mind, Bill. I hear it now. And it wasn't, I get it, it wasn't that. I just wanna be clear, I did not do a sketch called the diarrhea song, but it was something equally bad. Yeah Well in my defense I was performing Aristophanies whereas you were just being disgusting Well, but in my defense I also told my grandparents. No, I don't you can't come to this one

It's not you will not like it T.J Okay, um here's another here's another riddle T.C. Okay, here's another, here's another riddle. You know what, I don't have, speak of the diarrhea, sorry, I don't have permission to read this name, so I'll just say the initials. T.P. T.P.

Twilight paper. This one's coming from. I know we're not playing a game, but for an extra point, can Aaron and I try and guess how the diarrhea song went? Yeah, I mean, it didn't exist, so I guess I'll give you a point if you want to do it. I mean this is being recorded. Okay, Aaron, do you want to trade off lyrics? Sure.

Okay, do you want to start? I would like you to start. And we'll see if I join it. And this one, and by the way, this one is going up to millions of grandmothers all across the United States. I love the idea of doing a duet and be like, well, you start and I'll see if I want to join in. Like, that's how Dolly Parton and Michael McMahon did a, or Michael McDonald, Michael McMahon, did islands in the stream.

Um, okay, here we go. That was Kenny Rogers, actually. Okay. Yes. Whoa, whoa, ate too much and not feeling great. Yeah, yeah. I ate every last grape on my plate, but I got a rumbly rumbly tumbling bumbley and I'm not feeling so fine. I got my jeans pulled down. Oh just in time I like we got the breath in there. We got air going

I'm sorry, I don't I just set it up to leave you hanging and I know it's bad and Rob. No, no, no, this is. Hey, Adelaide, can I be serious for a second? Sure. There was nothing in that that I wouldn't want my grandparents to see. That was beautiful. Thank you. And it was very good. I was trying to make it, I was trying to make up for what I called the lane in high school earlier. The lava. Sorry if I seem a little distracted today gang. There's a couple different. We got one.

Mosquitoes in my room right now and I don't know how they got here. Oh no. I'm sort of feeling hunted. I do want to see a scene. Okay. JPC and Aaron, you are two mosquitoes in Aaron Keves' room while she's recording a podcast, trying to figure out what the fuck's going on.

Oh, can I make a slight change to that? Can you two be the mosquitoes? Well, I'm trying to record the podcast. Aaron, here's what I'll say. If you had supported my song, I'd absolutely make any changes you desire. But because you didn't, I think my call for a scene stands.

Okay. Aaron ain't a big old play to come up it straight. All right, okay. I don't bother with her. Don't bother with her. I already checked no blood. What? Yeah. Are you sure?

I can't tell if it's just deep in there or if it's already fully been drained, but there's no blood. And I'm Erin Keith. Oh. Smells like my pill, smells like cheese. She's hilarious, I love her. We should call 911 if she has no blood. Wait, hold on, you get this? Yeah, I get it.

Cause I have a listening to it too. I know that people like it, but I'm like, what is it? She's not like, ha ha funny. She's like, poor her funny, you know? You don't get it? Look, yeah, me know I mean I'm trying. I want to get it. If I have green hair, then I must be a shrek.

Wow, it's really hard to hear it back. It really, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and it sounds because like we I know it's a podcast and I know that there's like it there's gotta be context there's gotta be oh gosh Let's try to kill her take put her out of her misery the other side must be all set up It must be all set up because these must be punch lines and they must be laid. But we just don't get. That we don't get. But you get. I mean obviously you like it. Yeah I don't. Can I make a slight change to the scene? Oh God. Can I be playing myself

on the YouTube of the mosquitoes? Oh look at her face. She looks pissed. Oh she looks like she's hopeful. Oh she just got shut down. Working with men, huh? Not always easy. Sorry if I'm distracted. I let me grab one of these and squish it. Oh no. There's a couple mosquitoes in my mouth. Oh no! My husband! She killed my husband! See? Wow, that she didn't do so sad.

I have to assume due to the meta nature of that scene, it's gonna be like orphrys in your room to see where she's gonna keep going on a loop. Yeah. Okay, okay, we simply must hear another riddle. We must hear another riddle. And again, I already, that's like 20 minutes ago. This is from T.P.

Look, we love the people that submit rentals. So let's just try it out. Let's all just try to keep that in mind that we have love it on our hearts for all of the people that submit rentals. So let's just try it out. Let's all just try to keep that in mind that we have love in our hearts for all of the people that submit rentals. So what call the fans? I dare not call the listeners. Yes.

But we have love in our hearts. Okay, here we go. Here's the from TP. An old man goes down to the lake to go fishing. He casts his line in and reels in, but only catches a soda can. He casts his line again and reels it in, but this time, catch us a loose sandal. He casts his line in and reels in, but only catches a soda can. He casts his line again and reels it in, but this time, catches a loose sandal. He casts his line in third time, reels it in, and finds he has hooked the pale body of a teenager. Suddenly,

the body opens his eyes and speaks. What does he say? Wait, what does the pale body of the teenager say or was the old man? Pale body of the teenager opens his mouth to speak, and we want to know what the pale body of the teenager has said. the old man. Hail body of the teenager opens his mouth to speak and we want to know what the pale body of the teenager has said. Where's my other flip flop? That, Aaron, would be a very good guess. Uh, don't drink Mountain Dew.

That's good. Cause I've seen the soda can kill them. I don't want to side off on that because I think it's very good to drink, especially if you try to kill all of your spurs. I mean, your snakes. I mean, this if you try to kill all of your spurs. I mean, your steaks. Also, this is the first episode where Mountain Dew is a sponsor.

And the last, now we do love Dario. If you have orange soda, they said, we gotta get to be a sponsor of that part. JPC, can you give it again? I feel like I'm missing something. Okay, so, so, an old man goes down to the lake to go fishing.

He casts a line and reels in, but only catches a soda cane. Second time he casts a line, he catches a loose handle. Third time, pale body of a teenager, body opens his eyes and speaks and what does he say? We do have some hints and I will read the hints if that is okay.

He says grandpa. He says grandpa. He said dab on my haters game Fortnite. Aaron is the closest with I think, with grandpa. Oh is it, is pop gonna be part of it? No, no. No.

This is, are the soda can in the sand all the hints? This grandpa is trying to swim. Is it Jesus? Is it Teen Gigi? Teen Gigi's? Let me read some of these hints. The Hedges, thank you. Aaron, thank you so much for the setup, but.

Yeah. It's not, it's not pretzel Jesus. We all know I can say quickly to my favorite lines on this podcast ever was Aaron saying it's hard to hear it back and then Jake the other side must be all set And you know what I just haven't been an improv class in a really long time and I'm feeling a little bit rusty and that's that's what's going on Here in your amazing not that I was never funny. Aaron, I don't know if I mentioned this, but I saw, I didn't improvise set not too long with my buddy, Johnny O'Mara, and the other teams that were four other teams playing, and

one of them was Wetbuss, the other half of your team, and they had a fantastic set. The opener was a newer team. They had a fantastic set. And the closer was Calbethay, Olly Hobson, and Michael Brunley. And they had a fantastic set. And Johnny and I were talking, and we were like, it was so fun to improvise again. I haven't done like two person long from improv in years.

And we said, by far, the worst part of the experience was that the show was really good. We were like, it sucks. I would have like nothing more than to go back and see live in Provigade. It to be just okay and me to be like, you're right, I didn't need to be doing this. But no, it unfortunately was very good.

It had a great time. I'm so jealous. I'm happy they're having fun, but it hurts my feelings that anyone in wet bus would have fun with me without me at any moment in time. There was a time without you. There was a scene where one of the characters got named

Aaron and then all three of the people from Whatbrus, I could tell they were thinking about you and they all started crying and then it was in a second later they got back into the scene. So just so you know, you were missed, it didn't really affect the thing but you were missed. Thank you for lying.

Yeah. Here are your hints. So it's canasota and a single. Those answering could ask, guess or no questions to find the, oh I'm sorry, you could ask, guess or no answers to find the question. Here are your hints. Canisota and a sandal. Those answering could ask guest or no questions to find the, oh I'm sorry, you could ask guest or no answers to find the question. That's part of it, but here's some hints. The soda can is arse colo.

The sandal is brand new. The teenager is wearing a blue polo shirt and khakis and the soda can is unopened. Okay, so we have to assume this was the best buy employee. Very close. What do you mean very close? Loop polo khakis. Oh, a backwards target? Oh, so, honestly, you could consider this door to be kind of like a backwards target.

Walmart? A Walmart. Walmart has blue polos. I think Walmart does work. Why, hey, you know what, fuck it. Let's say it's a Walmart. Why not? Why do you give me best buy?

Because best buy would make the city the soda can't in the flip low circuit cities read But Walmart would Walmart. Okay, so RC colo which I mean they have Sam's choice so you wouldn't be drinking RC colo You'd be drinking Dr. Thunder pool I would love kind of name brand a brand new. So they just went to shoe carnival. Royal carnival, real carnival cruise lines, royal. I gave you Walmart because you can get both a sandal and an RC Cola out Walmart.

Oh, can I ask you a question? Yes. And if it's yes or no, I can answer it. What's the answer to this red all? Okay. Is this a, is this a like a,, somebody at home brewed this, right? Yes, home bro. Well, Eric, I think I might just give this one to you.

Yeah. And again, remember, we do love the people that submit this. Of course. Because you said grandpa, and I think that was close enough because the answer is, sir, this is a CVS, and you need to leave. The old man had dementia. It was casting his line into the CVS next to the lake. The teenager is working the counter. That is the answer to.

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riddle. This is their best offer yet, and it will not last long with helix better sleep starts now. Go ahead and give her the Academy of Snorr. The Snorr Academy of Snorr. You know what? You mean the Academy of Snorr. Glint close to falling asleep. That's why I got you there. Oh yeah, I got that a lot. Hey, Adel, hey, Aaron, I got a bone to pick with the two of you. Sure, yeah, I wore the skeleton outfit just because I figured this was coming. Happy Halloween a few months early.

It's not yet the... What is it? So you know how the two of you, I was like, guys, I am always so hungry for lunches and dinners and the like and you, jokers, told me, oh, JPC, it's okay, all you have to do is take some, you know, American paper currency, tape it to your front door, close the door, and then wait until someone brings you food. Well, I kept opening the door and the money was gone, so I had to tape more money to my

door. I think you're thinking, you're gonna work out all. Oh, Dorkhash. Dorkhash. Yeah, you did dorkhash. We told you dorkhash is the number one thing to you. What the hunk? With dorkhash, you'll enjoy next level convenience with delivery in the hour, making it easier than ever to get whatever you want delivered to your house, whether that be back to school supplies or whatever it is that you eat. JPC, which I don't know what you eat. I back to school supplies.

JPC, all your favorite retail, grocery and convenience stores are on the app. So you can chop everything, your kids, your dogs, your family might need for back to school. And hey, personally, just yesterday, I bought some Marsha's homemade premium quality buck eyes, you know, those candies that are chocolate stuff with peanut butter. I just got those from DoorDash and they were, they were on my porch within 20 minutes. And it's very, very dangerous because they're delicious.

Did you fill your belly and your pantry? Yes. Did you fill your backpack? I did. Okay, well then DoorDash has come again for the gold. I remember distinctively the stress of going back to school and going from store to store to get all my favorite snacks and pencils and pencil cases and all the things that I needed me and my siblings. And I remember how stressed my mom was. And I know that she would have loved to have DoorDash. So she could be prepared before the big back-to-school day arrived.

So you can stock up with go-to breakfast, lunchbox staples, and brands that you love. Don't eat my school supplies, JPC. CBC, put that eraser down. Put that trapper keeper down, your mouth is too small. Never been told that before. Shop DoorDash to get everything you need for the back-to-school season delivered right to your door order now for stress free back to school shopping use

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That one didn't work. That one's bad. Hey, JPC. Yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Adel and I'm setting up a website to prank him. Um, can I just need some advice?

This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Adel. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, it engaged with your audience and so anything for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here. Come here. Come here. Hey, what's going on?

I actually, I want to prank GPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace you can have custom merch you can easily sell custom merchant create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you, saving you time and money. What is happening?

Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics, use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits

and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my Prank website. The Prank site too. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website is for. The website is for. Prank. With Squarespace. You can connect to your store to Vedent third party tools to extend the functionality of your website Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Adam? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine Dude, we got her anyway if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine head to squarespace.com for a free trial

And when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh she's back she's back. Hey Aaron Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked But how I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Hey, Rick, don't break the door. Oh, man. All right, look, that was a fun break. And a really great riddle. It's celebration of that.

We're gonna break out of ads now, bro. No, no, we have no more ads, we have no more ads. It's celebration of that. We're gonna switch it up. And now we're gonna do, apparently back to back, we had two people, two different people, email us riddles that had a bit of a science flare. So we're gonna be doing a couple of science remakes.

Woo! Slap? Ow. Oh, air, sorry. No, it's okay, you just swung back and I couldn't hear it. I hear the neck. Yeah. Wow, you actually, you know what?

That's wrong. You're actually gonna get probably get a fine for that, honestly, or at least addressing down from Mr. McMahon. He's not gonna like that. Hey you guys. Remember in like episode two or three when we invented Old Man puzzles for the person who it reads the puzzles?

We've never invented a term for the two people who aren't Old Man puzzles. Wow. It, yeah. Shit. And yeah, it's always my favorite thing to be not old man puzzles, because then you get to be a menace twin with another person from the show. Aaron, being a bingo, how to tie, I think you just came up with the term. Old man.

So it's old man puzzle in the menace twins. Yeah. Cause you could. Which sounds like old man puzzle in the. We already had never had a lot of other ones. Oh, yeah, there's a deficit tail right there It's hard. It's so funny because like you immediately lose all memory and empathy for what it's like to be old man Puzzles when you're on the other side of it and you just like break glass and fuck shit up and be Ridiculous with your partner and cry

And you just quoted a limp biscuits song, Lyric for Lyric. Oh, again? Not bad. I keep referencing Superstar Ric Flair and Aaron keeps quoting lit biscuits on. Not bad for a drunk girl. I guess the other guy to the Californians is not too shabby of an old reference. Okay, I'm ready. All we are is old references. Okay, here's your first one.

This is a bit of a science puzzle, which is the subject of the email coming from SB, SB Sins. This is a puzzle I heard on the Because Science YouTube channel. So that was in 2018. I wonder if that YouTube channel still exists, but I hope it does. Thank you, Sandra Bullock. And here we go. This is the this is the riddle. You're standing in the middle of a frozen lake. The ice is frictionless. So slippery, you cannot walk on it. How can you make it to shore? You also do not they're they're adding that you do not have ice skates, okay?

We're original freaking tummy. they're adding that you do not have ice gates, okay? You're original. Freaking tummy. You burp, you burp or fart. Depending on which way you wanna go, you burp or fart. Can you get some sort of a man's up? It's like trolling a trope factory. Well, I mean, I do not.

I do not have. It has not made, I mean, she might be streaming somewhere, but. That's a good thing. I like it. Addle is, Addle's on that track, right? Of that, of a barping and, and barping. Barping. A barb is a burp at a fart. All of us, this sounds like the answer to the previous riddle, which is a CVS employee stuck on the ice. He drinks

an RC cola to propel himself and falsely the ice and die. Can you dig down and then swim under the ice and then make it to Aaron I'll tell you what now. Did you killed? Yeah, I can tell you for sure. Let's take a quick time out just to save just to possibly save Aaron's life. I saw it. I did. I did.

If you're ever on frozen water, the last thing you want to do is go under it. I said, take top. What happened in the TikTok? What is this? A TikTok of a woman. And there was two holes in the lake, a frozen lake. She went down into one and then you saw her swim under the camera follower. And then the came back up on the other side of the hole. And that's what I'm saying is you oh.

Yeah. Yeah. I know. I'm tired of being the dumb one around here. No. You say something dumb. I'm not dumb. I'm not.

We are. I said snakes were come. That was how we started the episode. I should be the dumb one. Okay, what's the answer? Okay. Okay, so you were correct. I think, Adel, you're on the right path,

but I'll give you some hints. So hint one is that frictionless ice doesn't stop you from moving your feet. It only stops them from pushing you forward because there's no friction on the ice. So, and then although you start motionless, the solution does rely on momentum. So you were kind of,

but both on the right track with momentum. You spin as fast as possible, go up in the air, hope to catch onto the arm of a plane. I did say arm and then it'll fly in. Yeah, that, hey, that's another way to get killed. I saw it on a sick phone. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, again. Now, Alan, you want to be a TikTok. When you were a TikTok and you heard that thing about Bitcoin, was the voice that was telling you about it, sounding like, if you want to make money on Bitcoin,

now is the perfect time to get into it. What the fuck, JPC, that was your TikTok? I would like to see a scene. Well, yeah. You two are, are two guys, two bros, to have it. There's a drummer, there's a... Who have a TikTok channel? That is financial advice, but you two,

literally have no idea what you're talking about are giving terrible advice. Listen up everyone. This is smart. You want to be financially stable by the time you hit 45, you need to follow these three easy steps. Anyone can do it. Just keep watching this TikTok and you will learn how in these few steps that we've concocted to help you out. And it's not that hard. Anyone can do it. Anyone can do it.

Anyone can do it. Step one, you have to be triplicating your money every four to triplicate. Thank you. What does that mean in practice? Or as they say, practice. To triplicate your money. All you need to do is make sure that your money

is growing at an exponential rate through the seeking of additional funds in correlation with the funds you already have access to. Step 2. Make your money work for you. Take, go to the bank, pull out $100 piles of money, fill out a resume for them. Take your pile of money and the resume into a store. Get them a job.

As long as it's over $18 they can legally work. $18 can legally work. That's something we say on the channel all the time. Remember, if your money wants a job, your money's got to have a name. So you got to give your money a name. I know it's going to be hard, but don't give your money a funny name. Because funny money don't work. And we have three names to give your money. Anyone can name your money. These three names, it's three easy steps to come up with a name. Here's three names. Anyone can name it. Number one, chat hamburger. Name Name number two cash Callaway name number three Alexander hamburger Giller

What's up man? Are you hungry for hamburger? Yeah, I can. Are you placing an order? I can. Okay. I want to make a tie. Yeah, what makes it a little too options. Oh, Mexican. Yeah, yeah, Bruno Wait, hold on how has no one done that hold on I'm good I'm not I I'm in a breathe. What the how is no one ever done? I bring back to the show. This is money millionaires and we've got a brand new way for you to make money make make make money

Can bind two different types of food into one food. Yeah. Like everybody loves cookies and everyone likes soap. So why not cookie soap? Hold on. John, are you eating your soap? Scroll. You can't have a new flavor.

Oh, see that we die when you scroll. I don't remember the details of this, but you remember that time where that person did a radio play about aliens coming to earth and then people change. Oh, the worlds. More the worlds. Orson worlds, right? Yes. Orson worlds.

I feel like our economy is going to collapse even faster because people are going to come across that scene and think it's real financial. I said it's going to absolutely topple everything. Can people, I don't know how TikTok works. Can people do that audio? Can you put that audio on TikTok and just like lip sync and put up graphics and stuff and make it look real? Sure, they can, but should they?

No. Mr. Beast, get on this. It all is only could happen a couple of times my life But I've been on tiktok and then someone who's using a Sick uh, uh, hey, Vidal or sitcom D&D or hello from the magic tavern audio will pop up and my brain will explode. I'll be like oh my gosh We need to get on tiktok because I've seen podcasts where it's like they have I don't that it's a it's a very small podcast, they're fantastic podcasts, but very, very small, and they'll have like 2.6 million followers.

But you look at the rest of their stuff and they have like three reviews. So I'm just, I'm so curious how's that works, and I feel like we need to get on them before we can become them. So I got a little peek behind the curtain. How that works is it sounds like TikTok does not really help their podcast that much.

So you think that we should get on TikTok because we already have a successful podcast. I have. I'm not an airing. I like the ones you've got. Also, I should say, Aaron, I went to no new list. Jimmo took me to the place in New Jersey

where there's like a park with a plaque. I think where the world's was set in this town in New Jersey, maybe. And there's a big plaque and it shows like a park with a plaque. I think where the world was set in this town in New Jersey maybe. And there's a big plaque and it shows like a UFO and whatever else. And it says like on this site, or this is a town from where the world's were like everyone went. The people in this town went crazy or something. Oh, wild. So if you're ever in New Jersey, I don't know, fucking try and find that driver around.

Yeah, look at. Good luck. But there's a Tio cash there with a picture of Adel. I think people like went crazy and like killed their children and like rather by my hand than the new the aliens. I don't think that's true. I'm just talking about clip it. Are we in the middle of a riddle right now? And I'm curious. Yes, we are. We are. Oh, what is it? It's that ice one

You put the shoes on your hands and so crawl forward. No, we we almost had it One of the solutions could be to take your shoe handstand put your shoes on your hands and move handstand away No, take off your shoes rip them up and then there'll be more traction on them Just like fuck with the bottom of your shoes with your teeth take off take off your shoes, rip them up, and then there'll be more traction on them. Just like fuck with the bottom of your shoes. With your teeth. Take off your shoes, take off the laces. Aaron, here's where I'll tell you right now. I will give you $1,000, and you can take off your shoe right now and rip it up.

I don't have a shoe. You can tear a shoe in half with your hands. Well, she has shoes from H&M, so this will be an easy one. Yeah, actually. H&M, you could rip the clothes just by wearing it. A nice wind will take those right off your body. We'd lost all that stuff. Right off your body.

I can give you the answer to this one, because you know what, it's a little sciencey. Yeah. But the answer, since it's frictionless ice and moving around won't help you, if you throw something forward, the recoil will push you backward, without any friction to slow you down, you'll be pushed all the way across the ice. So you could take your shoe off, throw your shoe forward or backward,

whichever way you wanna go, and then be pushed the opposite way. Well, that'll move you twice, but do you have to tie your shoelaces around your wrist and then to the shoe so you can continue to throw them? Otherwise, your two pumps are done. Which is the name of this episode. So you will slide forever.

You will slide forever. But I do also like the idea of tie. You will slide forever. Well, in this world, there's zero friction. Yeah, I mean, this is, until you get off the friction, Lizise, then yes. And this is a friction I want to friction, you'll stop.

You're supposed to. I want to friction your feet forth I'd like to see a thing. Well, anyway, I think you S.B. Uh, uh, Addle, you are a guy who stuck in the middle of the ice and JPC, you are his friend who's on shore, uh, trying to, uh, help him out of it and talk him through it. Okay. I don't know, man. I feel like I hear cracking. No, it's, hey, it is February. This is Minnesota.

That is thick ice, okay. No, no, Derek, I feel like I hear you cracking up. I feel like you think this is funny. Okay, look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry if that if my laughing was, I was actually thinking about an email my grandpa sent me Oh, I mean, it must have been 12 years ago. The one with dementia No, I mean this is 12 years ago. I mean yes now currently yes, but no 12 years ago

He was I mean he was if he was inching towards it. Okay, let me lie in my stomach So the email was that. Okay, let me lie in my stomach here. So the email was, you're gonna love this. So George Bush is sitting in the, in the midst of course, a Bush's president sitting in the oval off, HW. Okay. Yeah, sitting in the, the, the oval office and a guy comes in and he says, Mr. Bush, we have some, some bad news. Mr. President, the war in Iraq, there has been an update. Did the guy correct himself like that? What's that? Did the guy correct himself like that?

Yeah, in the end, he said, I'm a phone reading. I'm a phone reading. He said, I mean Mr. President. I'm in my phone reading it. Okay. He was being a little too formal. He said, sir, we lost four Brazilian soldiers today in the war in Iraq and George Bush puts his head in his hands and he goes, oh, that's a huge number.

That's the joke. That's the email, that's the joke. This George Bush is upset by it. What Brazilian people died and you think that's a fucking joke? George Bush says how many people is a Brazilian? That's the joke. Well, I mean, one Brazilian. I mean, how do you quantify the numbers?

These are people from Brazil. You understand the joke, right? What? And he falls through the ice. And emerges out a hole on the side. Ooh, the TikTok helped. It did. You don't have to do that for me.

I want to make your reality our reality. The TikTok helped. I want to make your reality our reality. That's funny. We have time for one more of these science riddles. You guys ready for this science riddle? Yes, that's also what I said when I proposed to Jim. I wanna make your reality, how a reality.

Really? Okay, another science riddle. You know, I don't know, this one person doesn't give a name, so we'll just say, this is from A, okay? Okay. Suzy is a scientist.

This is from 2018, remember Suzy? I think I'm a scientist. Suzy is a scientist. Who asked your friend Kevin to water her plants while she's out of town? Upon arriving at her house, Kevin has difficulty in finding water to use, as Susie's sinks seem to be disconnected. Kevin is in a rush, but thinks of a method that would water the plants, at least somewhat, that he could execute before leaving the house.

While executing his plan, Kevin makes a minor mistake and gives himself serious burns on his hands and has to go to the hospital. What was this plan? And why did he get those burns? And there are hints. There are hints if you get them. Minor mistake. So, so, in summation, Susie's sinks don't work?

Does that mean all plumbing doesn't work? Yeah, it seems like there's no running water in Suzy's house. Okay, but he has an idea on how to partially water, but he burned his hands doing it. At least, yeah. Watering the plants at least somewhat. He peed on the garden, but his penis was real hot.

Now, Aaron, you say we never did stop. I know, and I was just about to say. I mean, we got it. We got a dead stop there, right? We we never did stop. I know what I was just about to say. I mean we got it. We got a dead stop that right? We got a dead stop. As a dead stop. As a dead stop. Yeah, dead stop.

What do you mean? If Aaron gets one for Pete at the poison, you definitely get one for Pete's on the plants and his penis is too hot. What's going on with this guy, Edel? You're telling me you've never been in a situation where you go to the urinal, you unzip. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot and he would take shits in the bathroom while on sales calls. And he'd be talking, like talking, like I'm like, surely they can hear this, like it's loud, like you're making noise. And he'd be like, let me tell you,

this is a once in a lifetime deal, it's, it's inspiring. Like, you literally have to shit a good off the pot. And I'd be like, what is this guy doing? That's a confidence I never want. That's insane. It's a level confidence I never want. That's insane. What's, so...

That same bathroom I also at that job, I saw the CFO and I never seen the CFO in person. And he peed and then he just walked out of the bathroom and I go, Huh, CFO don't wash his hands, interesting. Oh wow. That's the guy touching all of our money. Is it something worthy? He's counting it by hand, of course. My paycheck is the dirty. I went home and I threw all my paycheck away.

Is it, is it something where there's ice in the fridge? He takes out some ice, he holds it in his hand and plugs in like a curling iron and presses the curling iron into the ice. Adil, you have half of it. You have half of it. You are so right with him finding ice and using ice to water the plants, but no, the curling iron is not burning his hands. So, something about the...

What I was going to say is the burn like a reverse burn where it's like freezer burn? Okay, I kind of almost want to dead stop reverse burn. Yeah, reverse burn. Don't know what that means. It is a, I would say something being too hot or too cold. Yes, correct. The, I think that the technical term for that would be like,

well, I don't know, I would say chemical burn. Mm. Okay. I think we're really good at it. I think you're on the right track. We need a really good hint. Do we have, well, I mean, you got ice. Like, you are so close with ice,

but like holding, holding, holding regular ice won't burn your hand. Oh, dry ice. Dry ice. Yes. Who keeps dry ice and they're fucking free. Well, that's insane. Susie is a scientist. So, Susie has to have dry ice for all of their...

I was gonna say, Mr. Cocktail... Hold on, hold on, wait, wait, wait, wait, let's all agree. We're smart. We know that scientists use dry ice for... Wait, we all know. So we love to say, right? We know they're use dry eyes for we all know so we'd have to say right? I feel like a trap. I'm on your side.

We all know correct if we all agree that we know that no one can look the fool. Aaron one of us fucking backstabs the other we all go down baby. We're all just staring at each other. The minute JPC said we're all smartPC said, we're all smart, right? I immediately sniffed out the trap. I mean, immediately. I'm actually quite dumb. All right, I'm holding my buddy back, actually.

I don't think this guy actually wants to make change. I think he's gonna try to take some of it. Yeah, so of course, Kevin was planning to put ice on the plants, which over time, would melt into water and succeed in watering the plants. At least a little, his mistake was he actually grabbed a dry ice, and in too much of a hurry to realize the difference. He held it for just too long and suffered burns.

I've never touched dry ice before. For very long, I have like put my finger on it. It is very cold, and it really does say, do not touch this on it. My sister wants, you know those ice cream men who have like the cart, like the little push cart kind of thing, like a freezer cart, they were storing their wares in dry ice and my sister bought like a,

remember the popsicles that were like the Ninja Turtle head with the gumball ice, she bought one of those and her lip stuck to it because of like residue dries or I don't know what happened but her it like it latched on to her lip and when like oh and eventually we had to like well we tried to melt it a little bit but eventually we had to rip off a little bit of her. And please tell me you didn't try to melt it with your hot pee from your birdie. Anyway thank you for that riddle thank you for those science riddles do you guys feel I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I didn't want to see a scene before we get too far a field of this. Aaron and Adel, I have tasked the two of you with watering my plants while I'm away, but you come to my house and realize that my water has been shut off. So there is no water in the house and you have to do your best to water my plants. This is like a taskmaster. Ew.

All right. Let's get in and out ofars quickly as Pissie Boo. Yes, um, piece of it all. Piece of it all. Oh, piece of it all. I think I know how to water the plants. Yeah, I thought, I thought about P, but then I realized that my P is mostly poison. Oh, because you're constantly, you have so many enemies in the city

Yeah, you need to get out of this city. I keep telling you I have a place in the countryside If you want to stay there anytime you have so many Gloria, what are you doing to make all these enemies? Not yeah, I'm not leaving anytime soon. I'm I'm waiting to take all my enemies down and I'm being a jerk Pants your question and being a real jerk. What else can we use? Does he have Gatorade? Does he have what? Gatorade? Gatorade will kill a plant. Are you sure? Let's try it. Alright. Where's his? Okay, here's... Oh power. Oh power. He's putting... Powerade will kill a plant. That'll kill a human. Oh, I have, okay, I have an idea. Yes.

What, so here, follow my train of fun. What causes rain? God's sadness? Exactly. So, exactly. So, let's make fun of God so loud he could hear us. He'll start crying. What are the garden?

Let's think of some good God jokes. Make fun of God so loud he can hear us. He'll start crying. What are the garden? Mm-hmm. Let's think of some good God jokes. Hey God. Maybe just like even a fuck you or something. Hey God. Your mom's a virgin? Your mom's a virgin. That good? No rain. Hey, hey God

um All that power and you can't afford a shirt You can just go shirt these are just plans. No we're on some Hey guys, hey guys gonna go ahead. Can I help you out? Oh God? God? Oh boy, no not even close oh the Like a reverse burn He he popped up to say I'm good Like someone walking into your house and going, you know what, never mind.

It's like, you came here. I'm out. You came here, bro. Yeah. OK, that was very nice. Hey, you know what? Speaking of very nice, why don't we listen to a very nice voicemail that a fan sent?

But before we do, we have a brand new voicemail theme. And this one is submitted by Tom Lum, who is the host of the Let's Learn Everything on Maximum Fun. If you want to submit a voicemail theme to the show, just go ahead and send that Oh, wow, some sticks. Wow. Uh, no, I heard guitars in there. I did this for you. No, the drums.

There's gotta be drums, right? Really funny. Uh, I don't know how to do that. I did those with sticks. Uh, no, yes, Adela. Of course, you were correct. Those were probably, uh, Oh, you've uncovered a nickname. Uh, all right. Uh, Casey, can we hear a voice, Mel? were probably uh... uh... uh...

uh... kc can we hear a voicemail hey there my name is gimmick i was big digging through some of my old stuff and i found a certificate that my teacher printed off for our classes in high school when the school wasn't doing it they personalized them uh... to our specific personalities. And I got one that was a certificate for most disturbing enthusiasm. And I still think about that every fricking day.

So I want to know, do you have any bizarre compliments you've received in the past? They're gonna haunt you till the day you die. Anyway, have a good evening. Here's what I'll say immediately. Gimmick, you have an incredible voice. And I think what happened was the teacher was jealous that you sound like the best version of a game show host. And so they're like, how can I take this motherfucker down a peg? Because you have, you had the perfect energy to host any game show in the

world. Um, this is not one that happened to me, but I always thought this was funny. Do you have ever worked at a place that did like work superlatives that were like, kind of like fake funny things? Oh, this is like, this is the person who's most likely to fall asleep in the office or whatever. I worked at a place one time where there was like work superlatives and someone won the superlative

most likely to end up on SNL because I worked with a lot of comedians and then someone else at that office did end up getting hired. That's really funny. I always thought that was very funny. That's really funny. Yeah, I definitely have.

I'm trying to think of one off the top of my head. Now, it sucks because it's bizarre compliments because I have definitely heard a lot of like kind of bizarre putdowns that have stuck with me for a long time. Sure. I was told after an audition once that I didn't have the it factor,

and I'm like, come on, that's not a good note, right? Well, is it not just the effect? What's that, it's the effect? Yeah. I was told I didn't have the voice. Ahaha. Ahaha. I think I'm at an age where I blocked all this out, but I've

definitely had a lot, but I think I've had to move on otherwise I'd wither and die. I think that's good. I think that that's actually really good news for gimmick because it means that gimmick maybe you won't remember that forever. Now it is immortalized in a podcast forever. Maybe a problem. I the thing that just comes to mind to me is someone being super nice, but also needing to let me know that someone else hates me.

Are they like me despite someone else in their life? Really not like me? I've gotten that a few times. Like one woman was so sweet to me on Instagram and then she was like, I mean, my boyfriend had to stop listening because he said the show would be perfect as long as if Aaron wasn't there. But I still like you. And I was like, I mean, my boyfriend had to stop listening because he said the show would be perfect if Aaron wasn't there. But I still like you. And I was like, huh, huh. That's insane.

Huh. I show you the un-listenable affair in life. Audio wise. That's pretty. That's true. I think so, yeah. We still be talking about Snicksburg. Aaron, that's sparked a memory in me

where a friend of mine in high school told me that a different person from high school was named Taylor Masters and he played football, told him, he said, you know, I like that John Cohen kid. I don't even care that he's gay. And to be that remains one of the best compliments I've ever seen. And the thing I love about that is it was, I don't even care that he's gay.

It's not like if he's gay, it was like declarative, he's gay and it doesn't bother me. And I was like, that's cool, that's progress. That's so funny. Oh my God, that's so funny. Well anyway, if you ever have a question like that that you want us to ponder over, you can always send that to 1805 Riddle 1.

Remember, try to keep those voice mails under 30 seconds if you want to play it on the show. Or if you just want to make me listen to a two riddle one, remember, try to keep those voice males under 30 seconds if you want to play it on the show. Or if you just want to make me listen to a two minute voice bill, you can do that as well. And I'm the only one who will over here. Aaron Keef, do you have anything to plug? If you want to check out sitcom D&D, we are at this point, I think we've recorded the entire season.

So it's very fun and I think it's worth checking out anywhere you listen to podcasts, add all anything to plug. I have, I guess it on some stuff but I don't think it's out yet. So I'm going to go ahead and just say if you haven't listened to the Magic Tavern Patreon, please check out Hello from the Magic Tavern on Patreon. We just released I think a three or four episode series with Anthony Birch who DMed us in sort of a fun sort of like sidekick adventure thing, criminal sidekicks. So please check that out. JPC, anything to review or plug. If you listen to this episode when it comes out, don't forget to get your tickets to see us live in Los Angeles.

We're going to be at the Dynasty typewriter on Friday, April 7th at 7.30pm. That is both live and live streamed. You can get both of those tickets at www.hayrittlevirtle.com slash live. It's also slash live, but it's spelled the same way. So you be the judge. Don't forget to get those tickets, and we will see you there. And now, I got a five star review in the hopper

that I can't wait to read. If you wanna get your five star review read on the show, just go and review as five stars anywhere that you review podcasts. I probably find it. I'll scrape it from one of the insights and put it in here. Hey, as an example, this one comes from rim and marium.

Rim says, no more Hey Riddle riddle in public or the car. I was laughing so hard it started crying in an empty study room. Class ended in the classroom right next to me, and like 20 people saw as I tried to switch to music while not being able to see through the tears. This podcast has become a household activity only. Five stars, hey, you know what? It's okay to listen to the podcast and cry.

It's fine to be sad. Where's that all the time? And that was from Rahm Emanuel? Yep. That was Rama manual. That one fingered missing mother fucker. That seat selling son of a bitch. That mischief Nint mischief twin mother fuckers. Yeah, it's a mischief twin. Aaron famously sprint fish just like tardigrades in octopi are not from this earth. They actually fell from the heavens into Frozen water and propelled themselves to

Earth You're originally from Jupiter. Thank you. See okay. Bye forever Sorry, Eric and John Patrick calling. Casey Tony to the editing. Now, are you parading in the music? Photo created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Naboris. Hey there, captains and ships, if you like that you're gonna love this week's Patreon. The clue crew goes on a cruise. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle

by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or the review crew and you get those ad free episodes for $8 a month. Isn't that right, the devil? That's right, GBC. Jesus fucking Christ, the devil God damn.