Hey Riddle Riddle - #246: Fudge Not Lest Ye Be Fudged

Episode Date: April 5, 2023

Sweet excitement the cast lists are up! See who plays what role in a new animal parade, buckle in for some bungee jumping, play along and see if you recognize bands from the Lollapalooza lineup and meet JP Riddles' newest cousin! All this and more on another glorious #WiddleWednesday Pssst! Find more info about Josh Fudge here! Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to mail us something?  Hey Riddle Riddle  6351 W Montrose Ave #267 Chicago, IL, 60634 Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531) Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fm This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/riddle and get on your way to being your best selfSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgun podcast. I Out all jpc adult jpc the cast list is up for the favorite of metal Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh no, I forgot to audition jpc Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me. We forgot to audition. JPC. We made a audition. We made a audition. Okay, let's put on our jackets, put on our backpacks. Ride our bikes. JPC, of course, is on a razor scooter.

Let's go, go, go, go, go, go. And we crash open the doors of our, I wanna run through the halls of my high school. All right, we, ah, let's throw off our jackets, pattern, all lockers. Go to okay. Oh What to say what's it say? main host JPC. Excuse me. Excuse me. Should I be in this high school? We are adults. Yeah, I know you you are all three adults. I am a cheerleader. I'm very young

for adults. And so are you cheerleader. I'm very young. Ma'am, you look tired. If she was tired, could she do this? Aaron, do this. Backflip. Oh, no. The whole now, Aaron, my leg. You landed on my, I was behind you. Take me to the hospital. Take me to the hospital. Why don't you initiate a backflip? What's the gas? Let's see.

That says host JPC. That's it? Sir, teacher adult? Yes, I'm the principal of this high school. Mr. I'm so so I act weird around adults. We're probably the same age or you might be slightly younger than me, but you're just slightly younger.

You get to the point, Addle. You address so well and you. My link hurts so bad. Sorry, it's just, it's so weird because I always think of myself as like 22 and you seem to really be in the show. You? Ow.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. No, it's not ow that you're not 22. Aaron, you might have hit me when you did that back but I didn't, I didn't, I didn't. That shouldn't hurt. Shouldn't hurt for you to hear that you're not 22. Mr. Responsibility or whatever your name was. Responsibility to clap.

Oh, German. Do you have a JPC in the school? Or is this RJPC that's the, was cast as host? Well, there's only one JPC. And this is actually not even a school. This is the set of to catch a predator. That's right. My name is Deer Evan Hansen.

No. And we've lured you three podcasts. Oh, so it's like a musical theater catch a predator. Artisette, I lost the thread on what this was. A long time ago, but you're all in big trouble. And I'm Aaron Keefe. Welcome to Hey Rital Rital. This is a Rdle podcast where we do Riddle's puzzles and lateral thinking problems and also some bad improv on purpose

That's what we like and say to people that the bad improv is a fun Uh, choice that we are making because we're so good at real good improv that we do fun do bad improv Um, what's up guys? Bugs, but don't fall for this. She's a trust. Don't fall for this. She's a trust. She's a trust. What I say, what's up guys?

And the most earnest sweet way and everyone looks at me. Like I'm trying to rob them. Here's what I'll say is up Aaron. We literally just saw you in person for the first time in a little chunk of time. And we, the three of us played World News tonight together for the first time in, I wanna say three years, over three years.

It was crazy. I hadn't been back to I.O. since March of 2020. I walked in, immediately had a panic attack. And then I went to the bathroom and I immediately cried and then I went and did world news and it was a great time. And I was so sweet and let me play the whole time. Oh, sweetie, you thought that was the bathroom? That was the ER. Oh goodness. I did it again. But I was so fun. And it made me really, really miss Chicago. So that was the one con. It it made me even more homesick? But it was a great show.

And you guys were really funny on it. Go check out where all this. My favorite part of the show is, what are my chopped liver? And that's my Scott Con impression. Is everyone keeping checkin? The best of the con is the word I've ever He's very good.

It's a very good impression. My favorite part of the show was Aaron, there Very good. It's a very good impression. My favorite part of the show was Aaron, there's a scene you were doing where you, I think you were playing a rocket. No, you're playing a cat maybe, and you grab the top of a door on stage. The IOT leader has some fake doors on a fake set, and she grabbed the top of it and lifted her legs up and just hung there. And then after the scene got done, she came over to the sides and jestered towards me to

come over and I go, yeah, and she goes, I hurt myself. And I could not stop laughing. It really was so crazy. I was like, oh, yeah, three years past. I used to be crawling all over that stage. I used to climb things and then I was like, you are not young. You're in your 30s now, queen. And I would say that's a real door.

I mean, it's definitely on a fake set. I will not fight you on that, but that's a door. I will say as I was hanging off of it, it didn't feel as sturdy as a real door. Well, I mean, now you're like a sub-door elitist here. Talking about how all doors have to be sturdy as fuck. I think if a door doesn't lead anywhere then it's not a door. Wow. Interesting. Although that door doesn't lead anywhere then it's not a door. Wow. Yeah. Interesting. Although that door does lead back. We're more of a destination guide. I'm more of a journey

guide. No, stop. Last half-distance. Last half-distance. Let's see. What are some destinations? Yeah. Now you do a destination. It's like Asia, Kansas, Boston. You have to pick. You have to pick. You're so stupid. You're so stupid. You're so stupid. You're so stupid. You're so stupid. You're so stupid. You're so stupid. You're so stupid.

You're so stupid. You're so stupid. You're so stupid. You're so stupid. You're so stupid. You're so stupid. You're so stupid. You're so stupid.

You're so stupid. You're so stupid. You're so stupid. You're so stupid. You're so stupid. You're so stupid. You're so stupid. You're so stupid. You're so stupid. you're listening to this, I'm sorry. Got this out. Aaron, I immediately went apologize. I felt so terrible.

I was talking to two wonderful people from Chattanooga, Tennessee, and somebody else screamed my name, somebody I know from the theater, and I turned around and went over to them, thinking they just needed something, but they wanted to talk, and then I ignored those people from Chattanooga

and they left, and I felt terrible. And I also want to apologize to Swedish fan Isabel, who I said hello to over the phone. I think we all said hello to over the phone. And I couldn't hear her thing she was saying, but she sent us some Swedish news. So I actually did that. Andy.

International crowd. And I have nothing to apologize for. Everyone of my social interactions went as they always do, perfect. I went upstairs and I ran into Brad Pike and he gave me a tour of the upstairs space and I was crying laughing the whole time and I was like, I'm gonna go downstairs

and tell JPC an adult that I saw you and they're gonna be like, Brad died three years ago. I felt like I really was getting a tour from a ghost. It was so fun. He does have a very ghost like quality to him. Yeah. And then we were trying to describe to a couple people what improvised Kurt Vonnegut was like when we did it

and we were in tears. We were like, well, I can't believe that. Yeah, so funny. So what is this place? God, it's well, we were in hell. We're in Riddle Hell. Okay, let's see. And we'll be here for the foreseeable future. So we might as well make ourselves a couple of little.

Try the Chuck liver. Sorry, Scott, just by Scott Con. Scott Con. Scott Con. Scott loves Chuck liver. Scott Con. If you don't mind sort of helping us transition to the Riddle portion, can you just an I'll rattle off any movie you're in? Great question, Adel.

Why don't I throw this to my partner and crime, Mr. Casey Eflick? Oh, ocean's 11. Hey, come on, man, I was about to say that. It's me the little worm, Casey Eflick. I'm about to say that. It's me the little worm, Hati, I'm like, little, little. I feel like I'm digging through a sandbox, sandbox trying to finally impression and what you're doing. I didn't think it's fun to do impressions of people when you have no intention of learning there's beach battles.

It's just like, this is my impression. It's not even like, it's a choice. It's just not the person's voice. It's me, Jimmy Kimmel. Aaron, it's funny you say sandbox because voice. It's me, Jimmy Kimmel. Aaron, it's funny you say sandbox because we have something very special, which is some warm up riddles. Wow, I truly thought that that was gonna transition

into a sandy segment that I was not prepared for, and I was wrong. All right, let's get into some warm up riddles. Sandbox, sandbox, sandbox. That makes me think of a little segment we've done on the show before. Welcome to Animal Parade. Well, since we're here, should we do one?

Yeah. Yeah. I think we should. Are you ready? Mm-hmm. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Next grind. The, the, creatures out there who are just waiting. Oh, they wish someone would. I don't think it's too late for you. I think you could make that your life if you wanted.

Huh, yeah, you're really 22. I was doing the edits for the last episode I hosted and you famously said, I'm old now, just like Adel, super old. Huh, did I say that? You did. We have audio evidence. Look, first of all, we can't start to delete the whole podcast. We can't start doing audio evidence around

because we can't be using this stuff again to each other. We've said some terrible things about each other to each other with each other. JPC did call me a bitch before the recording started and we all promised not to tell. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, My story. Oh, what I said was I would never call Aaron a bitch while we are recording. I said I would never do that. Oh, brother, okay, riddles. Riddles.

Riddles. But first, let's do an Aaron parade. And this is where we go around much like animal parade. And we just compliment Aaron. Here we go. Wait, but animal parades are not about complimenting the animals, is it? Oh, yes, right.

Because that tiger just was reading his biology notes out of his binder. I'm not complimenting the animals, is it? Oh, yes, right. Because that tiger just was reading his biology notes out of his binder. I'm not complimenting him. He's just holding a binder. He's a good tiger. Well, everyone heard it. JPC did not want to do a compliment of Aaron. So what was real?

Did you see, called me a bitch and everyone heard it? I'm in trouble. Basically, he basically. okay, here we go. First, warm up riddle. Abraham, what can you easily break but never touch? What can you use? Silence. Wow.

That's pretty good. I didn't just did it. It's not the answer I have here, but that's an answer. Glass. Okay. Here's what I. Glass. Okay. Here's what I'll say. Who sings that song?

What song? It's a song. Got a lot of glass. My pump. Worth a bird. I think it's one. Yeah. Sounds like 20. Never mind.

Violet Cyrus. I thought that answer is. What would you be never mind? Nirvana. Um, is it an easy break but never touched the answer is the name of a band. What can you eat? Oh, uh, the pixies. Yeah, the beach boys. Here's the thing.

This is a band. This is a band who definitely sings the song that was Gemma and I's first dance that are winning. Oh, Ed Sheeran. Oh, the original cast of Rit. I don't remember. John of the Larset. Your first dance was...

Your first dance was... Your first dance was... Your first dance was... Your first dance was... Your first dance was... Your first dance was... Your first dance was... Your first dance was... Your first dance was... Your first dance was... Your first dance was... very fast because we played Smashmouth and then we played this song but the DJ messed it up and immediately was like everybody on the dance floor so it kind of stepped on our first dance but so it happened very quickly. Is it Bobby Pickett?

It wasn't Monster Mash although I tried to convince Jim or that would be a good idea. What can you easily break but never touch? This is also, oh JPC we're talking about an error in you've played this the game it takes to There's a little guy that keeps popping up the whole game that I could use less of oh An offensive exit. Yes portrayed by a Book a book. Oh, is he a book never mind Book a book. Oh, is he a book never mind Alright the answer is heart

Here's what I was thinking in my mind I conflated that book from it takes to with a Ricardo, the talking heart in Adventure Time, because they both have, they both have similar accents. Um, that makes sense. I think you can touch a heart though. I don't like that reddle because you can hold like dog's touch heart all the time. What can you do?

You should break it, but a dutch. You should touch. Yeah. Hmm. Anyway, this, this article comes to us courtesy of Hannah. Hannah Sheer says apparently every year in Japan, there are a Kappibara Long Bath Championship.

So this is the Kappibara Long Bath Championship from 2022. Every year at this time, some of the world's top competitors show off their amazing skills, dazzling and delighting crowds in a contest to see who is truly the best of the best. That's right. It's time for the Capibara Long

Bath Championship. We're sure that the sports, Cuddly Creature fans are already aware of the details. But for those of you whose brains are short circuiting from the excitement of cuteness, let's review how the contest works. The Capibara Long Bath Championship is an annual event that it's now in its 10th year. So I guess type of recording probably closer to 11th year. And this is the hybrid team individual competition between the capybars living at five zoos in Japan. At the same time on the same day, each park's

capybars go into their toasty outdoor baths, which they can get out of whenever they please. The longest individual capybars bath for each team is recorded and compared to the other zoos in which ever parks is the longest wins the championship. Wow gambling is a strong disease. We will bet on anything. I want to see a scene. I do want to see a scene. JBC and Aaron, you are capy bars and you are enjoying a nice bath.

You slowly realize over the course of your relaxing bath, which is pretty nice in the the water, the warm waters, that you slowly realize that a lot of people are watching you and sort of rooting either for or against you for some reason. So that's super interesting about that promotion network. Wait. Yeah. Now I mean like the thing is I hope it's not political, but I kind of feel like it is because you know two other Capy bars were basically vying for it and then they chose me which I'm like do they know I'm sorry Yeah around We've got company I mean I guess there's more of them than normal, but I think it's normal.

Yeah, but you know, they typically just like to watch us. I don't understand. I don't understand what the- There are whole thing is about, but- Let's give them something to talk about. Da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na- Oh I don't know what you heard but um Cheryl and I are still good. We're still in good terms. Oh, no, no, no, no, not you and me me and them We did it

I just lost $200 I bet that none of the capy bars would be sexy. See. Capy bar, capy bar, capy bar, your pervert if you're watching anyone take a bath is what I'm saying. Hey, Hannah writes that the all time record, do you guys want to guess what the all time record for an individual capy bar a bath like this? Six days. I'm going to say 14 hours. It is four hours, 56 minutes, and 36 seconds.

This year's winner, Poro, which is last year's winner, manage your respectable one hour 58 minutes and 38 seconds. No. Spectable, my ass. I can stay in the shower longer than that. Yeah, dude. Two hours in the shower, easy.

Give me three shower beers and a pint of Ben and Jerry's. I'll take the old day, maybe. I mean, my skin peeled off, but I beat that capybara. Four hours and 56 minutes in a bath. That's fucking insane. That's so long to be in water. And you know, I mean, we're not in hot springs by any means. You know in a human bath, that turns cold within 30 minutes? Yeah. 20 minutes? You got to be, we got to be getting into more hot springs. I want to get a hot springs and sell to my house.

Like, that's a thing, right? Yeah, what's just, just sulfur, just sulfur, bottom up. It's like a bidet, yeah. It's clean. Here we go. Anyway, thank you, Hannah. Thank you for writing that edible parade in. If you want to write an animal parade, go ahead and send those to,

send those to, send those fun animal articles to HRRplodcast.gmail.com. What's 100 feet in the air when it's upside down? Hmm, what's 100 feet in the air when it's upside down? Someone about, someone who just started bungee jumping. Could this be like your shadow? I'd like to see a scene actually. You are the bungee jumping instructor and JPC

your man who's bungee jumping for the first time and you're super excited about it. But the second you jump off, you immediately regret it and you're in hell. Okay. Okay, just take a deep breath. Do you have any questions before we proceed? No, I mean, you double checked everything, right? And I look all hooked in and everything. I don't double check.

I'm a professional, a single check will suffice. I would just love a double check. I understand that you're a professional, but this is my life. So, like your process doesn't really mean anything to me, you know? Okay, yeah, and I would love to have front-road tickets to Taylor Swift. All right, I mean, that's what I'm paying for this, so... I will, but guess what?

If I die, I'm not going to be able to sign those tickets over to you, you know? So, it's like, do you want the tickets or not? You're not... My completion rate is 94%, which is the best you're gonna find anywhere, anywhere in the grandcain. Wait, what do you mean 94%? Well, that's, if it's not 100%,

it's a huge issue. Okay, well I've had 23,000 bungee jumpers. Well, bungee is the correct pronunciation, but for customers, I usually say bungee just to appease them. It is bungee. Oh, also, I did forget to tell you, this is very important. A lot of these people, there's mishaps because at the very end, when the bungee cord reaches its stretch limit, when it reaches its stretch limit, do not cough.

That's maybe the most important thing, I forget to say that limit do not cough. That's maybe the most important thing I forget to say that do not cough if you cough See been waiting in line forever watch the whole dog You sir do you want to go let he let that guy say bungie no way He also was about to let me jump Before he said there's a thing that I always forget. I don't know. Push him. Push him?

What? He pushed him? Please don't. Not connected to a Bungie cord. Please. Now he's got me saying it. Bungie. That's seen.

Bungie. Bungie. Bungie. Bungie. If someone was like, you're going to be Bungie jumping today, I'd be like, I'm actually not going to be. I wouldn't even say to think I just turn around But get there right I'm your pealot today flying the Plenty

Oh, no no no no no no you are not and you are not I'm gonna crash I'm gonna crash this clean you are not and you are not sir I'm gonna reach this plea. You are not and you are not, sir. Nope. Oh, great. What's 100 feet in the air when it's upside down? And think along the lines of our previous segment.

Animal prey, a bat. Is it a cloud? Is it a cloud? What's 100 feet in the air? I do like that though, it's bats sleep upside down. Yeah. They could be doing that in like a tree or something, I do like bath, though, because baths sleep upside down. Yeah. They could be doing that in like a tree or something. It's 100 feet tall.

It could be like a colony of baths or so. Or yeah, like a one bat up in a tree. But this is, take this face value. Like assume this is literal. What's 100 feet in the air when it's upside down? Oh, and not height wise. Oh, is this like a, what, like a millipede or something? That's like, centipede.

Centipede. Centipede, centipede, centipede, a hundred, right? Yeah. Oh, I want to see a scene. Bavavavav. Oh, JPC, you're centipede, but you're also kind of a dick, and you've fallen on your back, and you're asking the other centipedes for help getting up.

Okay. Oh no, I'm on my back. Can someone come down here and look at me, I'm on my back. Hey Skylar, what's up, man? I'm on my back. Yeah, we see that. Okay, let me just grab your back in and give you a nice spin Just eat whatever we eat and no, it's all over me. Hey Lisa Lisa. What's up? No, not Lisa check out Skylar? Didn't you used to date this guy? Oh?

I did and then he called me an unlovable bug called me an unlovable bug. Hey, this is jealous much. Jealous that you're covered and throw up and on your back? Yeah, yeah, but it's a cheque throw up. It's a cheque throw up. She was just here and we were bonin' like two bugs. Skyler, you're bragging because someone came over here through up on you and then left you for dad on your back.

Cool. Anyway, what's human up to you? Miss me much? No. Why am I back here? Look at this ring that's around my whole body. Yeah, she's engaged to a human. You wanna guess who?

I'll give you a hint. I wanna say 40 days of night. Josh Hartnett. It's Josh Hartnett. It's Josh Hartnett. Your hints today have been all over the map, man. Anyways, Tyler Have a good good life for whatever. Bye. Bye, buddy

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, please, please just help me up Just let me get help me get back on my feet man, please. I'll be good. I'll be what's that? Why I have to go to band practice It's not for me. It's for the band. Okay, if I if I'm not there on their bass player. They can't they can't practice without me Do you really play the bass? I? Mean I play a bass here. Let me what does that mean? I Actually having my naps I hear I have a bass go ahead and play it proof to it if you can prove to us you play the here. I have a base. Go ahead and play it. Proof to it. If you can proof of us, you play the base. I'll pick you up. Okay.

And maybe this is a centipede base. So it has 400 strings on it. So just positioning all of my hands, my little hands, all over the thing. And... Unscrewing the bottom. Oh, 12, 30. I'm just going the bottom. It's a base, man, I'm trying to get

the flow of things. Okay. How does monkey wrench by food fighters go? See? Just someone count me into it. Someone you know, monkey wrench. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do I can't remember I all I remember is there's one with Dave Grohl dressed up as a flight attendant. We will never know We'll never know never now. It's impossible. We'll never know MTV has been scrubbed from the internet Yeah, it's gone. MTV gone now MTV gone now. Let's do another riddle here take one letter away and I'm sorry. I said boom Ignore my enthusiasm I said, boo, ignore my enthusiasm. Okay.

That could have waited. Aaron is everything okay? Yeah, no, I just wanted to get hyped up for a riddle. I'm trying to turn things around. Why start now? Is my question? Oh, the Joker. Take one letter away and I'm above our head.

Take away two and I'm invisible. Take away none and I'm under you. What am I? God. Oh, can you read it again? This one's hard. Take away one letter and I'm above our head. We'll just say your head.

Take away one letter and I'm above your head. Take away two and I'm invisible. Take away none and I'm under you. What am I? I'm gonna have Take away none and I'm under you. What am I? I'm gonna have to write it down. Hold on. So if we start with take away none and I'm under you, then we're looking for a word that describes under you.

That's something under you. So I will say like the floor. Floor? It's not floor. Is it like adding or subtracting letters to head and invisible? Is it like two letters? It's not, no, it's not that. Okay.

When it becomes invisible, does that mean we've taken all the letters away? No, there's, when he becomes invisible, there's three letters left. So it's a five letter word. When you take away none, it's under you. And I can confirm it's under all three of us right now. It's a five letter, okay. Chair. Yes? Fff, Aaron, it's under you, and I can confirm it's under all three of us right now. It's a five-letter, okay. Chair.

Yes? Aaron, that's it. Can you share? Chair, air. And? Hair. That's it. Aaron.

Wow, Chair, air, air. Aaron, can I just apologize? I'd like to see a quick scene. Chair. We're Adela apologizes to Aaron for her enthusiasm because it paid off. We did, and we all learned a lesson. He's just trying to get Casey to put music behind his apology. To make it sound more poignant and true.

That's bullshit. Hey, Aaron. Yeah. Thanks for meeting me on top of this windy hilltop with a 50 piece orchestra. Motherfucker. Oh, how are Deans over here? How are Deans? Did you have something to say? Oh, come on, Dean.

Scene. Scene. Casey's really having his revenge this year, and you have to respect it. Casey, that one might be not long for this Earth. I think we're going to get some pretty angry news about that. Pretty angry news. An adult. Yes.

I just want to apologize. And does it sound sincere with this music playing underneath? I'm so sorry. That's how it's played. Never mind, daddle. That's how it's played. That's how it's played. That's how it's played.

That's how it's played. That's how it's played. That's how it's played. That's how it's played. That's how it's played. That's how it's played. That's how it's played. That's how it's played. That's how it's played. Just wait and hit Aaron with the EDM music. Uh. All right, I can do like 100 more riddles. I'm so excited.

All right, let's do another one here. This is another break. Oh. Honestly, we're being honest. Aaron was doing 100 more riddles. I would do a break. We could do 50 than a break. And that's like a compromise.

Okay. Here, why don't we do a riddle that is a break? Okay, so this slogan for, this partial slogan for KitKats is also a hairline fracture. I'll be back chocolate. Nice. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, sleeper. Merrill sleep. She's right behind that door. Merrill sleep. Wow, she won the golden pillow. For best sleep. That's right. Hey, Merrill. Hello, yes, hello, yes, I'm very well rested after sleeping on my midnight lux. Helix mattress. Good to see you. Good to see you. Your naps are stunning. I just wanted you to tell people about

Heelix sleep, how the Heelix lineup offers 20 unique mattresses, including the award-winning Luxe collection. The newly released Heelix Elite collection, a mattress design for big and tall sleepers, even a mattress made just for kids. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah, and Heelix knows there's no better way

to test out a new mattress than by sleeping on it in your own home. That's why they offer a 100-night trial in a 10 to 15 no better way to test out a new mattress than by sleeping on it in your own home. That's why they offer a 100 night trial in a 10 to 15 year warranty to try out the new Helix Smeger's. Who do you, who, who did I think you were? I don't know. I don't know. I'm Meryl Sleep and I know everybody is unique and everybody sleeps differently.

I just recommend taking the Helix Sleep quiz and you can figure out what mattress is right for you. I don't know if you're a side sleeper or you sleep hot or cold or if you sleep like me. Meryl sleep. Yeah, choosing the right mattress is a real Sophie's decision. But don't just take our word for it or Meryl sleeps word for it. Helix has been awarded the number one mattress picked by GQ and Wired Magazine. It was even recommended by multiple leading chiropractors and doctors of Sleep Medicine. I don't think I thought you were the person that you were doing.

Oh, she's doing it. What a performance. Helix mattresses all come with a 10 to 15 year warranty depending on the model. Stunning. Yeah, look, he looks as offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to helix sleep.com slash riddle. This is their best offer yet and it will not last long with Helix better sleep starts now. Go ahead and give her the Academy of Snorer. The Snorer?

Academy of Snorer? You know what? Give me an Academy of Snorer. Glint close to? Academy of Snorr? You know what? You mean the Academy of Snorr. Glint close to falling asleep. That's why you're here. Oh, yeah. I got that a lot. Hey, Adel, hey, Aaron, I got a bone to pick with the two of you.

Sure, yeah, I wore the skeleton outfit just because I figured this was coming. Happy Halloween a few months early. It's not yet. What is it? So, you know how the two of you, I was like, guys, I am always so hungry for lunches and dinners and the like and you, jokers, told me, oh, JPC, it's okay, all you have to do is take some, you know,

American paper currency, tape it to your front door, close the door, and then wait until someone brings you food. Well, I kept opening the door and the money was gone. So I had to take more money to my door. I think you didn't work at all. Oh, door cash. Door cash. Yeah, you did door cash.

We told you door dash is the number one thing to you. What the hunk? With door dash, you'll enjoy next level convenience with delivery in the hour, making it easier than ever To get whatever you want delivered to your house, whether that be back to school supplies or whatever it is that you eat JPC, which I don't know what you eat. I eat back to school supplies JPC all your favorite retail, grocery and convenience stores are on the app so you can chop everything Your kids your dogs your family might need for back to school.

And hey, personally, just yesterday I bought some Marsha's homemade premium quality buck eyes, you know, those candies that are chocolate stuffed with peanut butter. I just got those from DoorDash and they were, they were on my porch within 20 minutes and it's very, very dangerous because they're delicious. Did you fill your belly and your pantry? Yes. Did you fill your backpack? I did. Okay. Well, then door dash has come again for the gold.

I remember distinctively the stress of going back to school and going from store to store to get all my favorite snacks and pencils and pencil cases and all the things that I needed me and my siblings. And I remember how stressed my mom was and I know that she would have loved to have door dash so she could be prepared before the big back to school day arrived. So you can stock up with go to breakfast lunch box staples and brands that you love don't eat my school supplies JPC. You see put that away so I put that trapper keeper down your mouth is too small. Never been told that before.

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don't forget JPC because you keep eating those school supplies. That's code riddle for 50% off your next order, Terms Apply. At all, JPC keeps eating my gel pens. Thanks, DoorCash. I mean, no, that's the one. That one didn't work. That one's bad. Hey, GPC. Yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm pranking at all. And I'm setting up a website to prank him. I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all.

Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to sit online whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand. Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website. It engaged with your audience and so let anything for products to cut into time all in one place all on your terms. Hey, Otto. Come here. Come here. Come here. Hey, Addle, come here, come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him.

Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch, you can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products

and production, and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing, new news again, to you. And I'm going to use analytics, use insights to grow grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming

from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website, the prank site. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for.

The website was for? I can't remember what the website is for Frank square space You can connect to your store to vetted third party tools to extend the functionality of your website Hey, JPC hey, JPC. What's up, battle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine Dude, we got her anyway if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com, slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase

of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know.

Hey everybody, we're back. I know you recognize this old voice box. This is Dave Grohl, lead singer of Nirvana and then Food Fighters. Lied singer of Nirvana? Yeah. And then Food Fighters? Yeah, that's right. Oh. Dave Groll, have you Googled yourself lately?

No, I haven't. MTV's been scrubbed from the internet. Test me if you don't believe me. Name any Nirvana song. Oh boy. Well, there's the one. Well, don't say that one. Wait, wait, why was it named in a revonison?

What's the test? To prove how it's the lead singer. Okay, smells like teen spirit. Go ahead. Okay, here we go. This is Dave Grohl, me singing smells like teen spirit to prove how it's the lead singer.'re doing the drums, Dave girl. That's the drum. All right, have about something in the way.

Famous song. Pipe George Harrison. No. Something in the way she moved. Oh, okay. Tom. That's the drums. Bass, bass, bass, but what do you think think the what do you do think leave vocals is?

You think it's drums. I think you think it's drums. I think I think drums without drums. Name me one good song without drums. I'm gonna song for you. What do we chop up some liver? Is that? Is that John Travolta?

No, it was me. Casey Affleck doing a Scott cotton pression. Sorry. Oh no. I'm a little worm. Oh no, oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. Did you guys see the lineup just got announced for a Lalo Paloza? I didn't see who's playing. Did you do that thing where you kind of how many bands you know and that's your age or whatever?

I was literally going to say, I haven't done that, but I was literally gonna say, I recognize six bands on this list and five of them are the headliners. Yeah, I guess, it doesn't count. You have to like skip the first three lines of the Lollapalus poster. Okay, there's like 80 names off to the side and smaller print.

There's one I recognize from that, and that is Carly Rae Jepsen. And I guess I've heard of Pusha T, but I don't, I couldn't name a single song. And then from the headliners, I only recognize a couple. Kendrick Lamar, Billy Eilish, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Wanda Del Rey, no all of them.

Also headliners Odessa, Carol G, tomorrow times together. When did I get so old? You're not old. They keep doing it, man. The lollipollisa keeps doing it to us. They keep doing it to us. I'm not old, I'm just drawn that way.

I'm googling it and I'm googling it. Fuck these assholes trying to introduce us to new music. Yeah, fucking clowns. Lollipolliza. Give us something for the old hits. I guess that's what Redhut's like. I don't like this poster. Whatever happened to like the day that they're performing and then other bands under the

headliner. That'll come out of it. Because they're in graphic designers got to eat too, okay. We keep churning these motherfuckers out. We keep sending them to college for God knows what reason they got to do something Okay, I do it so Vanessa They're great life. They're good. Yeah, that's a that's a band name out of person. Yeah, that's two people Okay, now I know that Silvan S. Oh can be two people. I do want to play a quick game

This is something I'm coming up with on the spot just because I'm staring at this I don't know if this will be successful or fun, but we're gonna play it. I'm gonna name a quick game. This is something I'm coming up with on the spot just because I'm staring at this. I don't know if this will be successful or fun, but we're gonna play it. I'm gonna name a band in the small part. That's how I try back used to start out every Jeopardy. So I love this will be fun or good, but this is Jeopardy. I'm gonna name a band in the sort of small print stables,

what I'll call it, the non-hydliners. And I want you to just name what you think one of their song titles would be based on their band love yeah so song title or if you want to sing a quick lyric whatever you want to do but preferably okay okay JPC you ready to go first I will go first yeah Timmy trumpet okay so Timmy trumpet Timmy trumpet feels like maybe it's EDM. So I'm gonna say he's got a song that just says like exosmatch. Okay sound by the neighborhood of the neighborhood. It's almost that song. Okay, GPC, you're up next again. You're up next. Oh, God. Yeah. The content has fallen. This is going to be, oh, Greece. This is a for all you grease heads out there.

This band is called Beauty School Dropout. Wow. This band is called Beauty School Dropout. Wow, the band is called Beauty School Dropout. Oh God, I feel like Beauty School Dropout has two different vibes to me. They have, it's like, do up and pop punk. So I'm gonna split the difference. So what? What? No, well, no.

Not gonna say that. I almost said it and then I caught myself. Almost. Yeah. It's a little... They didn't realize what I was saying. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Uh, God, beauty school dropout.

I'm sure that they have a song called 17. Yes. No matter what, no matter what genre they are, they should have a song called 17. 100%. Aaron, next up is Destroy Lonely. Oh, Destroy Lonely. Their top hit is called hugs, hugs, hugs.

You're sort of like a mental health band. Yeah, of course. Yeah, mental health, mental. Here's the final two. JPC, you're getting the cream of the crop. This is the best one on here. I just saw it. I just saw it.

And if this person, if anyone knows this person, it could be a band might be a person. Anyone knows this person. We need them to record some sort of song for us. JBC, this is holy shit. I can't. I can't believe I'm saying this. This is someone or a band named Josh Fudge, which is the most hey rid of a little name I've ever heard. Please let us know what Josh Fudge sings or maybe even a little vibe. In my opinion, what Josh Fudge does is he does those little political piano parodies. Yay! So, Josh Fudge, look, I don't know what a song would be, but Josh Fudge definitely has an album called Table Scraps.

Oh my gosh, I looked him up and he's precious. Oh. Josh Fudge. Protect the defendant. Our Josh Fudge is. Josh Fudge, I would die for you. Aaron, Aaron, can I ask? Just to make sure, because in my mind, I have a clear image of what he looks like. Yes.

Is it an 11 year old kid with chocolate smeared all over the whole of his mouth? No, but I know Josh Fudge and he would laugh at that assumption. Eric, I have a clear mental picture of what Josh Fudge is. I'm just going to ask you, is it cartoon, turtle, big cook bottle, lids is on the glasses, top hat, smoking a pipe? You're the closest without going over. I'm not doing as he has seen. This is a, what do you call it?

The big speech for graduation, commencement speech. This is a commencement speech for, we'll say, Rutgers. And they have booked famous alumni, Josh Fudge. Unfortunately, they got the wrong Josh Fudge. This Josh Fudge is a talking turtle with big old book bottle glasses and so you are giving the commencement speech to a very confused graduating class wait who's the turtle I'm sorry you want JPC damn it for a minute there I was like maybe I won't have to be the turtle who has to do the speech

the speed. Well, well, well, well, thank you so much, Mr. President, for having me here. What a year it's been, huh? What a year it's been, 2023. And I see about 2023 if you out there. It's been good to meet a class. Who is that? As you all may, though, my name is Josh Fudge. I don't know why I was asked to be here, didn't go to the school, never went to any school.

How many fingers the turtles have? You should just look down. Just music, that's something to keep in mind. Look down, look now look up, look up look you left look you're right I've lost my car keys I broke here and I don't laugh a VW bug I know a turtle in a bug What what is this but it's true? But what what is this but it's true

Why do you have note cards if this is your speech? They're all jumbled up. This is my speech, but it's in jumbled up order. I dropped them right before I came on I don't really think we have a gut bit London. I think they killed them. Wow. I just don't think I understood it. The pause before you said that is heavenly. Absolutely perfect. Absolutely perfect. Okay, I'm just to make sure this has never been done before. I just went on Google, Josh Fudge talking turtle, never got bin Laden. Yeah, I think this is one of our...

That's an original? Holy original scenes. Wow. Well, Josh Fudge consider me your biggest fan. I will become obsessed with you and super into your music. We will all go to your concerts and everybody check out Josh Fudge. He'd be like, why did I just get a bunch of fans on a Thursday show up and say, Hey, Reddler, settle me post world news, post Hey, Reddler, live anytime I'm out on Post-World News, post Hey, Reddler, Reddler Live. Anytime I'm out on the street, if I see anyone wearing Josh Fudge merch,

I will make a bee line to talk to you. Yeah. If there's other people who are like, if my mom is there after show, no, no, no, no, straight to the Josh Fudge merch, I will go see Josh Fudge anytime he's in the Tristate area. Oh, if you're in Oklahoma City, you can go see him May 20th.

We're gonna start selling Josh Fudge's merch on our website. Yes. And of course, Josh Fudge, we're talking about Josh Fudge, the talking turtle. I absolutely love the merch too. It's awesome. Can you put it in the chat?

I gotta see this merch. Should we become a Josh Fudge cast? Yeah, we finally have a new excuse. Okay, is, hold on. Is the person modeling this merch? Is that Josh Fudge? Let me see, yes it is. Okay.

Are you as in Love as I am? Huge fan. I know. Love this merch, love this style. What a happy coincidence. Now, do we know, oh, so Josh Fudge is from Oklahoma City. Okay, cool. So Josh Fudge appears to be what would happen

if you put Ed Sheeran in a machine that sucks all the British out. That's what I think. I guess that was closest with the turtle thing. Inclusive glasses. Because I said glasses. I'd like to see all the perverts going up to that machine. Oh, no, my, on British. Can I get that machine that sucks all the British out?

You're not British. No, no, no. It only works if you're British. Otherwise, it just gives you indescribable sexual gratification. You're sure you're British then Everyone race over to Twitter and and follow at underscore Josh Fudge spelled the way you think and give that and give Josh Fudge a follow Although right now he has 311 followers and we love 311 as well. Oh, let's get him up to 420 by the end of the day Shall we let's give him a full? His new album Technicolor is out now

I'm obsessed with Josh Fudge now Let's get into the work. His new album Technicolor is out now. I'm obsessed with Josh Fudge now. Have you ever been to Oklahoma City? I've driven through it once. Yeah. Once and I will say, I will say it had some very good, surprisingly good food and a really cool improv scene. The surrounding area is maybe my least favorite part of the US,

driving through Oklahoma, but Oklahoma City I thought thought was was better than I had imagined it We gotta go we gotta go to Oklahoma's gotta go Warren Buffett is that right? Warren peace Warren peace Let's get let's do some more riddles love it. Whoo. Whoo Let's do some more riddles. Love it. Woo! Woo!

Although now, wondering if I should reach out to Josh Fudge to see if he would be on a Patreon. You should. I'll interview him. I love him! Right. We should first listen to a single song and then go for there. But I got to say, immediately in love with Josh Fudge.

Okay, here we go. Pronounces one letter. And so this is sort of like a old time you rhyme where it's like said as if some some little alphas singing it. Like a scam. Like a little scam comes out of the woods and poses a riddle and we'll kill you if you don't get it right. Pronounces one letter and written with three two letters there are to only in me. I'm double, I'm single, I'm black, blue, and gray. I'm red from both ends and the same either way. What time I?

I'll tell you what, I'm killing this camp. This camp is a dead bear. It comes out of the juggle, saying this shit to be walking dead, my friend. Okay. Uh, roll for, um, roll for cowardice. Oh, man. I got huge modifiers. It's top. Top. Just backing down. Okay.

So what's this little elephant creature saying to me now? Is it right? Is it the alphabet? Can we just be done? It's not the alphabet. That's a great deal. It has been five years of doing this. He doubles, he's triples, he singles, he's what?

Tool triples is best. Triples is best. Pronounced as one letter and written with three. Pronounced as one letter. Oh my God. You guys, I just realized that if we do the amount of Hey Riddle Riddle that we've already done again We will have done hey riddle riddle for 10 years

That can't be right isn't that if we just if you double what we've already done. That's 10 years No, I'm just saying though is like if we do what we already did, which it doesn't even feel like it's that long Should a riddle podcast exists for 10 years? was like, if we do what we already did, which doesn't even feel like it's that long, should a rental podcast exist for 10 years? I'm having a crisis. What you're talking about is linear time. You're talking about five years plus five more. That's linear time.

But I would like to invite you to consider it as more like a pyramid, where we've climbed up for five years. And now we're gonna go back down for five years. So, so basically what we're gonna do is we're gonna eliminate the last five years by doing five more. Well, here's what we're gonna do is we're gonna eliminate the last five years by doing five more. Well, here's what we do. To further take these analogy, we go up for five years, we go down for five years, then we go back for five years to the beginning point.

That's up to make it true triangle. True triangle. That's 15 years of haverlwred all. Oh, I just got a shiver. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. Uh, no, I love it. 40 more years. So it's pronounced as one letter, right? It's pronounced as one letter. Yep.

So this is like A or like B, you know? Or like C or like D. Yeah. Hey, except, I think except for D, all of those were correct. In the same. Well, A, I'm thinking is A, Y, E, B, I'm thinking B, E, E, C, I'm thinking S, E, A. So it's very much what you just described.

I don't know if D is a proper name maybe, but for... D, E. Sure, we'll count that. But pronounces one letter and written with three. So that's, I mean, you've gotten the framing of it. Yeah. So from there, two letters, there are, wait, two letters, there are, two only in me. Okay.

So two letters, there are, meaning there's only two letters in this word. Okay. And two only in me. So the elf is saying there's only two in me as well. Wait, what does that mean? The fuck does that mean? I'm grabbing it by the little shirt collar. I'm shaking it a little bit.

Do you know who my dad is? What does that mean? So like, would that be like, like, B, B, E, E? Tie shoelaces together. I'm gonna tie this elf shoelaces together while we continue this, right? No, you just tied my shoelaces to the elf shoelaces. No, it's drizzly brothers.

So, JPC you're exactly right in that it's like B. Because with B, it's pronounces one letter, but written with three, and there's only two letters. There's a B in an E, although we use the E twice. Yes. But, you do have to solve the riddle of, there's only two in me when the elf gestures towards himself.

And is he an elf? What's up? There's only two in me when the elf gestures towards himself. And you see an elf? What's up? There's only two in me. Oh, oh, oh, oh, I got it. It's I. It is I. Yes. I'm done with one single.

Because this whole skip's got two eyes, right? I'm black, blue and gray, as you poke one of them out. I'm red from both ends, meaning I is the same backwards and forwards. And it's all over. Oh my God, this is a good reddle. This is actually a good one. I'm red from both ends.

Sounds like when I eat spicy food. Wow. And the two ends are by mouth. And Aaron, you're gonna love this by butt. Yeah. Woo. And Aaron, you want to do this for four years I do want to see a scene. Okay. Um

JPC you're a little wood elf who comes out of the works to um to like pose a riddle to a traveler Aaron you're a traveler who is just so fucking exhausted and over it and you've you've run into so many of these little magical creatures and you were just like at your absolute wits end. And just so everybody knows I'll play regular characters too. I'm happy to play your little elves and your little turtles all day but if you just if you all okay no okay James see you're just the guy in the woods. No no no no no no. No, no, no, no, no. Ah! Mew! Yes! No!

No, no, no, no, you crossed the line, you step the two. My wonderful, magical territory! Uh, shadow, um, water, um, Mew, uh, your name is Grumpa. I don't have riddles for you, but if you want to leave, you have to play my game. I'm going. No more. It's been awfully. Nope. No, and I don't and I get to be honest I don't have most of the pieces right and then you get my first He wears a sun if I don't do this. Yeah, no, I don't want a baby. I've got so many of these little babies

Little balsda feed and they eat all my monopoly pieces. I'm gonna have now they've had for babies So nice to see you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, day. Hey, uh, Schmasser Stone. I saw what happened in the forest today and I don't think I'm attracted to you anymore. Damn, Smarrison. I think this little creature's talking to you.

Were you in the forest earlier? Oh, it's me. That's funny. That is funny. I saw my sister in my brethren. We just ate a coffee at the Starbucks. I think this little forest creature might be talking to you so. Oh is it?

And it's not referring to the little forest creature that did a bad job with the woods. You're supporting expectations in improv. You know what? I want all of Starbucks to hear this. Sometimes going from A to C in improv is shitty. and this is not one of those times that worked great I have a latte for smasher stone It's me

As you stoned was the lady the whole time human lady with the crazy name See hey smasher sons can be women I see. Hey, Schmezerstowns can be women. I'm an in my daughter's measures though, Aaron. How about that? A boy in his father are in carcass. I just thought I'd love us back if we keep acting like this. Go ahead.

A boy in his father in a car accident, the father dies. The boy is at the hospital and the Schmezerstone looks down at us. It was the mother. It's a Schmezerstone, it was the mother. Correct. I know this one. Anytime someone starts telling you that riddle from now on, you have toher stone with the mother correct I know this one Anytime someone starts telling you that riddle from now on you have to be like the mother's a smasher stone It easy

Doctors has measured stone who's the mother they immediately take you to the R for stroke What are we on a riddle? No, we just we just finished the riddle which was I okay and you see I have to applaud you in That scene when I mentioned the smasher stud and it turned out to be Aaron you played a normal we assume Normal human in a star book wow I feel they do come true. I'd say ten out of ten Um, I'd like to see a scene Addle okay, you are like JP riddles is cousin. I'm not sure how door, opening it up. Whoa, hello, Shive!

I made my shelf at home. I ate your comfort hair. My name is BP snooze rules, and I hope I can stay for the year. Oh my god. Oh, sorry, I just doing some incantations so that my pee goes directly in my mouth. Stop, stop, please stop peeing in my house. How did you get in here? How did you get my part in our shooting? Well, of course, BP snoozles knows all the ways into a house.

There's upways, downways, sideways, wonka, ways, snoozles, ways. Okay, I broke your window. Yeah, I saw, I saw him looking at the, you're also bleeding pretty bad. You break it with your hands. I cut my carotid artery. That's not your hand.

Anytime I mention a body part, I have to say like Ace Ventura. Look, carotid artery. Let me show you something. No, sorry, that's not, that's not Ace Ventura, that's Firebrush or Bell. Yep. Well, look, BP, what's your name? BP's noisily that's your service. Let me hand you one of my business cards.

Of course, this is just a craft single with my name, tattooed into it with turtle blood. Okay. Yeah, honestly, this looks maybe like it's like a knockoff craft single. Oh yeah, exactly. Well, that's craft with a C, of course. And it's not a single, it's a double.

Meaning that's my bed. That's why I sleep, it's a double. Meaning, that's my bed. That's why I sleep. Those are my twins. Uh, can I introduce me to my wife? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- I punched my way through the window that hurt just as much as you said it would hello Jesus just the doors still open just come in through the front door If you're gonna come honey, well honey, what's my name again honey? What's my name? Hey, hey, hey, hey, dazzles. I think hey, hey, that's your service Here's my business card. It's a bunch of human hair No, no, let listen you two freaks, you gotta go, okay?

Oh, right. You're on a shanty. Yes, freaks. Is that me? Is that a shanty? Oh, let's put on some a shanty. And some freaks. No, wait, listen to a shanty.

Listen, I am a normal guy, okay? I just wanted to come home to my apartment. It's been a long day at work. I just wanted to sit in my bathtub, poop in there, and eat baseball cards. Do you have any mouth-to-mouths? You have to freak it weirdo's. I just wanted to sit in my bathtub pooping there and eat baseball cards. Oh We're gonna weirdos are now in my house. You're messing up my whole rest of my night. Oh please you're one of us Did you do you know you want to eat baseball cards? No?

Normal I've been aware Blake. It has a cape. I'm gonna call about your pizza places to tell my can solve their crimes Okay, let me take out my wand and a one and the two and I got my one my own eye out You have any milk from my bowl of hair Wow, wow, wow, JPC got jealous of how much fun we got to have Wow, well, JPC, you got jealous of how much fun we got to have. Not being normal and saying you had to change your character. The JPC riddles started leaking through. Can never be the straight man. Actually, you know what?

Normal is not something that you get to define. Okay, society, you know, fights normal. And society says that you're allowed to sit in your bathtub pooping there and it's baseball cards. So that's actually pretty fucking normal. Huh. Pretty cool. And Josh Fudge, if you're listening, if you want to write a song about that, please do.

And Josh Fudge, if you're listening, please stop listening. You got better things to do Josh Fudge. You got your whole life in front of you. You're playing Lala Paloza. Hit us up if you want Rex for Chicago. Yeah. Or if you need to play a crash. Or if you need to play a crash. Or if you need to place a crash,

I would house a Josh Fudge. I'd have to talk to my wife. But I would house a Josh Fudge. And I dare say, I would also have to talk to my wife. Aaron. I want to share clothes with Josh Fudge. So. Interesting.

Contact me. I think I am in order of that Josh Fudge shirt with like the technical or man walking. I know I think we should all order one and then wear it to the LA live show. I like that. Well, I'm if you stay at my house, I'm definitely going to be wearing the merch. No, don't scare. That'll scare him. I'm not a little Josh Fudge head from way back.

I think we've already scared him. I'm a funny source. Do we have time? Let's do one more riddle. Sure. little Josh Vouch head from way back. I think we've already scared him. Do we have time? Let's do one more riddle. Sure. Okay. Yeah. Rearrange the letters. Nor do we to make one word.

Nor do we, Jim. Okay. dummy. Play it on your top. I once met a girl, or should I say she once met me? That's not the lyrics. Can you read it again? Rearrange the letters nor do we to make one word.

Nor do we. Okay. Okay. My little, my, I'm getting my little type, I'm getting my type, I gotta type, I gotta type these in, I gotta see this. Nor do we. Nor do we.

Donor. Okay. Where's, Aaron, where's the W? Shhh. Shhh. Downer. We donor. Does downer work?

Downer? Downer. donor. Does downer work? Uh, did I ever tell you guys my, uh, my donor Bob story, my food storing in, uh, Copenhagen? No. So I went to, I was, uh, Copenhagen has some very good Middle Eastern restaurant. So I go to Middle Eastern restaurant. I order, I think I ordered donor kebab, which is what they call it over there. And so I order some Middle Eastern food. The guy behind the counter is clearly Middle Eastern. So I'm filling a connection and he asks about my name or something, I go, oh yeah, I'm Middle Eastern.

And he goes, oh cool, because he sees my cut of curator. So he rings me up, he gets there, he goes, he goes, 15 minutes. So I go to sit down, I'm on my phone, five minutes pass, and the guy, and I'm kind of, I kind of stand up to linger. And he goes, Israeli. And I stand up to linger and he goes, Israeli and I go, huh? And he goes, Israeli. And I go, oh no, I'm Palestinian. He goes,

Israeli. And I go, uh, no, I'm Palestinian. Adler or five. And he goes, Israeli. And I go, I start to shrug. I go go I don't know what it goes your food is really I go oh my food is ready Perfect miscommunication The word wooden Wooden Doesn't work Aaron. Where's the Argo? Woodard so around the house, Jim, I'm always,

when we're done cooking food, we'll say, israeli? Israeli? This, think of this as less of a question. Rearrange the letters nor do we to make one word? Is it the word windor? Which is Samuel Jackson's character in Star Wars. My windor is so so dirty I gotta wash my

window. Mace Wendor. Mace Wendor. Rearrange the letters nor do we to make one word. Period. No question mark. Warden. Is it just is the answer just like no I don't want to do that. Is the answer please don't make me do that. You're at JBC, you're so close. You're so close with your frustrated, is it just this? Nord, we rearrange the letters Nord do we to make one word. Oh, is it just one word?

JBC, ding, ding, ding, it is one word. And isn't that fun? Hang up, Hang up, hang up, hang it up. Disconnect. I don't like it, I don't like it. Here's what I'll say, here's what I'll say about that one. Aaron, do you have anything to pluck? No. Check out our Patreon Patreon.com slash favorite, Ruler Rittle for way better episodes and content.

We won't do riddles over there. We're in way nicer, way cooler, way more fun. Addle, anything to plug. I do have something to plug. This is kind of embarrassing for Aaron. I want to plug Josh Fudge. We mentioned his Twitter. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Please check out Josh Fudge. We mentioned his. Wow. Yes. Yes. Please check out Josh Fudge. And we're sincere about this. This isn't some sort of like isn't this funny. Sincerely big fan of the aesthetic and all that. So I'm excited to listen to Josh Fudge. I also recently did a guest appearance on the podcast almost plausible. So please check out my appearance on almost plausible, which is hard to say, almost plausible. I guess it's not that hard. JVC, do you have anything to do? You just said it like four fucking times, easy. JVC, do you tell me you were having a tough time saying it? In my hand I was. Didn't show it, didn't show it all. Thank you. Hey, I want to read a five star

review. This one's going to come from, I want to say, Noretaaki or just Noretaek Riddle Riddle. If you wanna get a 5 Star Review Readdle on the show, just go and submit it to iTunes or wherever your review podcasts are probably fine. I found this one. This one's titled Unhinged. Now, to me to this episode.

Consistently makes me laugh out loud if other Schumer podcasts aren't weird enough for you. Try Hey Riddle Riddle. And you know what? I think we've proven that we deserve that five star review today. So thank you so much. Nora Taki, Hey Riddle Riddle.

Fantastic. Well, Aaron, I'm, oh, actually, I'm looking at the law blues line up here. And there is another band that I feel like I have heard of them. They somehow sound familiar. Jupiter Fudge. No, it's Chromio. Oh.

By forever, Chromio's playing? Sorry, there are demons. And John Patrick called. Casey Tony to the editing. Now are the paragen of the music. Photo created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Naborin. I'm a man of course. Bitch mode test has gone. Bitch mode.

All right, keep fans looking for me. Airsoft has gone bitch-moving. Hey there, Dads and jokes. If you like that, you're gonna love this week's Patreon. We get into some Dad jokes, and they're pretty punny. You can list for that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com. So, I'm Shay Riddler-Riddle, by joining the clue crew for $5 a month, or the review crew,

and to get those ad for episodes for $8 a month. See you there!