Hey Riddle Riddle - #25: Puzzies and Wizzys

Episode Date: January 9, 2019

JPC is Old Man Snuggles this week, and boy is it a wild ride! The Clue Crew tries their best at some winter riddles, then goes back to some good old fashioned garbage riddles. We find a suitable replacement for a famous singer, try to get Pixar’s attention, and cook some teen cakes. There’s also dead stop of a dead stop of a dead stop when the guys figure out who Erin’s childhood pretend friend was!Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: KJ SnyderTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. It's hey riddle riddle I'm out of five I'm JPC and I'm Aaron Keith Oh Aaron what hold on what What is new about you? There's something different. What is going on? I don't know. I think this is the only episode I've been properly caffeinated for. That's not it.

There's something else. There's something else. Did you get surgery? Where is your arms? I thought I'd just, basically, live a little bit. I had someone take off my arms. No, I don't have arms. Yeah. And where are they?

Where is arms? Good question. Does anyone's guess? If you want to buy my arms signed by Adel and JPC because I can't sign it anymore. So we will sell both of Aaron's arms. I will sign one arm, Adel will sign the other arm. Spoiler alert, neither of them are strong.

What's these weak ass arms? Ask me how many times I've worked out my arms here. How many times have we worked out your arms? either of them are strong. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I was like, what was the exercise you did? Um, my boyfriend has a gym in his building and one day he's like, do you want to work out with me? And I was like, I do, but you should know that your attitude will change whether or not I work out with you ever again.

Like, this is a maker break it. And he's like, well, it's arm day and I went down and it was fine, but I'll never do it again. Yeah. And so, um, to read it, right? What was the exercise you did? Like arms. Okay.

Like, you pulled weight, so you go like this. You know, and for all you weight lifters out there, you got your four basic exercises. You got arms. Okay. Like you pulled weights, and you go like this. You know when you, for all you weight lifters out there, you got your four basic exercises. You got arms. You got legs. You got tumtums. Tumtums. You have head, heart.

Clear eyes. Clear eyes, clear eyes, get loose. Giving gift. Two a days. That's a service. I'm sorry, these are love legels. I love like which is arms. He had to keep going down and like the weights

that I could do. Like he would just like hand me something and I'd start doing it. And then he would just like sigh very patiently and then just go get like small. What does a patient sigh sound like? That sounds impatient. Sounds like he thinks you were fucking chores. I think so. And he wouldn't be wrong.

He wouldn't be wrong. Anyways, what's new is you. JPC works out all the time. JPC does push-ups. JPC does push-ups, but you? JPC works out all the time. JPC does push-ups. JPC does push-ups, but JPC does not work out all the time. I think that one of the things that I want to do in 2019 is better take care of myself. Because I go through what I do is I'm addicted to this Fitbit

and my goal is 15,000 steps a day. And since I have a dog, it's pretty easy to get that because I have to take her for walks all the time but like that just means like the only physical activity I'm doing is lots of walks with my dog. That counts. You take a lot of vitamin and I know that about you. I do take a lot of vitamins and boy does it make my pee something special. List off those vitamins pal what are we doing?

What are we taking? We've got vitamin C. We have vegan fish oil, which is like omega-3 fatty acids. How? Hold up. Hold up. How fish oil vegan? So it's not, it's like omega-3 fatty acids. I think it's from like nuts of some sort.

But it's... Why did they call it fish oil still? Because fish oil is like what omega-3? Like that's how you take... Can you just call it omega-3? I could, but doesn't everybody know fish oil? What else? I take a vegan multivitamin. I take magnesium. I take, can you just call it Omega 3? I could, but doesn't everybody know fish oil? What else? I take a vegan multivitamin.

I take magnesium. I take zinc. I take B12. I take B12. I take B12. Okay, it's good. It's good stuff. Helps you in the morning, yeah.

I take, oh my God, B9, I think. You're just playing bingo now. Yeah, I feel like. I'm playing bingo with my health. I Take I know that every day I take seven pills Wow, yeah, I started doing that last in 2018 and I didn't I got sick way less because I'm like a sickly person I'm always sick. You're like a little Victorian boy. Yeah, I was looking up window. Yeah When will pop up from the wall. Yeah. When will Papa come home from the war?

There's always blood in your kerchief. We move to the dry climate for my consumptive health problem. Yes, that is my life. And taking my events, even if it's just like a psychosomatic thing, it really does help. And if you were British, what would you be taking? Vitamins. Ah, the best. So speaking of JPC, speaking of your pee being something special, you are OMP for this

episode, Old Man Puzzies. Yes, pretty good transition. Thank you so much. Yeah, well, I did write it down and send it to you. So I did say, I'll tee up with my pee. I'll give you the little tee pee and you give me the Old OMP. Yes, I am Old Man Puzzles for this episode, which means I get to be the puzzle master You old man snuggles. Oh

You have to be old man's snuggles this episode. Honestly for the winter time. I'm old man's snuggles for sure Get yourself a winner, babe. Nest nest nest nest. Dad bought my haters nest fortnight my haters nest for tonight. I found my haters nest. That's like the- It's not got my haters nest. It's not got my haters nest. And my nest I'd be like the thermostat is here, apartment connected to your Google home.

Shout out to Google Home guys. I got a Google home. I love it. All right, ideally, I'm a little bit puzzled. So I can decide what we talk about. If you could pick an ideal sponsor for this show. They are listening. They will sponsor the show.

They'll give us a fantastic money. What do you pick? My elementary school, I went to growing up. Oh okay. I want them to use some of the money that they would have ordinarily bought for books to sponsor them on the show. What was it, can you have a shout out to your elementary school? Foster school, Foster Elementary School, and Hingam Institute. Can you do a short, like a 15-second entry for them, just so they get a taste of what they're gonna be paying for? Voster Elementary School the playground used to give you splinters, but not anymore There's Miss Direct still teach there because she was amazing back back to you. I'm not gonna For me it would be Patagonia. Oh, yeah, I'm like clothing store with the country

What about you Tb? It toP.? To me, it would be a soilent. You can see I'm drinking soilent right now. Not two bottles in front of you. But not the product soilent, which is the drinkable meal replacement food. Soilent green the movie. I would love them to sponsor the podcast. Get some more eyes on a movie that was made like 50 years ago. That only people know it as a rich boy and no one's actually seen. That's a blue-fate flavor. Oh, this blue flavor?

This is a large dog's cup. Oh, why do you take a sip of us? Take a sip and give us that slogan. Take a sip of us? Why do I bother? Take a sip and give us that. I'll just give you a sip of my soul. To try and win them over.

You just called it dog's cup? I'm never gonna do that. That's a big dog's cum. Oh, my God, and I write out the window. If you can't hang with the big dogs cum, stay on the porch cum. The thing about people in the toilet is they have lots of different flavors,

and it all just tastes like a big dog's cum. No, it tastes good. It just tastes good. So I got, they sent me some strawberry by mistake because I ordered like a bulk, and they accidentally sent me a box of strawberry, so I made people at my office taste it, and people have seen me drink this for like seven months,

and people taste it, and they're like, that's not bad, and I was like, yeah, that's not bad. It's just, it's fine, it's great. I like it. Do you guys wanna hear my slogan for Patagonia of the country? Yes. Patagonia, we have penguins.

I love a question mark and it's low again. Way into the thousand lakes. Because they're surprised. We decided this and we still aren't confident. With free or what? OK, cool. Let's break into some warm up, release some buzzing. I like that old man snuggles is doing warm up riddles.

Ooh, swarming up. Yeah, because you're warm up. Snuggles, no go. I'm doing some snoring maps, mimos. Um, yeah, so these are snug bugs. I wanna snag little bugs. Errant's a little bit of a snug bug. No, it's errant if it's snag little bugs.

So I'm molding a snag bug. Listeners, you can't see, Errant is miming, wrapping her hands around herself, but since she has no arms. I have no arms. She's just a little worried. Snug worm now. Snug worm.

Hashtag snug worm. If you're in the winter, hashtag snugworm. If you're in for the winter, hashtag snugworm. I'll write it down to let us know. Maybe and maybe if you are bored, maybe just draw some fan art of all of us as snug bugs, armless snug bugs. I would be a little ladybug with a blanket, with a cup of tea. I'll your insect, Aaron's a ladybug. I am a grasshopper.

Permanentist. Permanentistadybug. I am a grasshopper. JPC. Primateous. That's so similar to a grasshopper. You're more of a brown recluse. You're gonna look a spider. You're like the spider from James and the Giant. Yeah, you're brown recluse. Okay.

Yeah, I would also say that I don't want anyone to do fan art with me without my arms because that's literally the only thing that people talk about. How many, how many listeners you think are going to tweet at me saying it's not Brown recluse, it's Brown recluse? Well, now? I guess.

I'm gonna guess 1500. How many people do you think are gonna tweet at us and say you took 100,000 years to read a riddle? Because they get mad and mad or mad at us. So yeah, that's true. We love our fans, but they don't love us. They don't. They live to correct us. I think maybe 30% of our fans, but they don't love us. They don't. They live to correct us.

I think maybe 30% of our fans like us. They're wrong, the 30% that like us are wrong. They're the truth. But hey, speaking of fans that like us, we get a lot of riddles submissions. And a lot of them, sometimes people submit riddles that we've already done, or versions of riddles that are very close to things that we've already done,

so we really can't use them. But sometimes people give us very specific riddles. And this is a special warm up riddle edition where Ashley Miller, I hope you don't mind me reading your name, Ashley, you never mentioned in your email that you would like me to, so I just did. Tweeted in some warm up riddles. These are all winter themed warm up riddles.

So I thought I'd change up a little bit and give these warm up riddles at the top of the show. Ashley, thank you so much. And I'm glad that she said, if my quest to have you read one of my riddles on the podcast, so your quest is complete. Enjoy your retirement. You are no longer a riddle adventurer. Ashley Miller, set your goals higher. You achieved this easily. Very easy. Easy to get me to read. Okay, ready for this? Yes. Who is a Christmas tree's favorite singer?

Christmas tree's favorite singer is Dean Martin. Okay, I will leave an explanation for that answer. Dead stop. Oh, dead stop. What, Dean Martin? Here's the explanation. Dean Martin, first name Dean, of course, there is Dean's milk. Now milk comes in several types. Yeah, you have two percent. Several types.

Schim. Schim rhymes with trim. What do you do to a tree? You grow it. Dean Martin. At the experiment. Chris Pied. Yeah, I know. I know. He doesn't say, but maybe. It's not. I don't know. He doesn't say, but maybe he sings sometimes in pine trees or trees. So I will say, I know the answer to this riddle. And you are closest with Chris Pine in that tradition.

So if you can think of any other like maybe tree-based something like that. Christmas Christmas. Birchbackerat. Birchbackerat is also very good. Birbackerat sings Christmas on some of it. Ornament, ornament Jones. And that's a play on Houston. Oh, I have it.

I got it. I got it. You know what I'm saying. I know it. I know it. Okay, so ready? Yeah. Toby Reath.

Country music star Toby Reath. Okay, a Reath is not a tree. A Reath of Brexit. A Reath of Franklin is better a wreath of right glitters better Also, but wreaths aren't trees. This is tree related. Well wreaths are a type of star star dead stop again wreaths grow in the wild if you go to certain Forrest in the Pacific Northwest wreaths grow naturally the only place that wreaths grow naturally isn't a coral wreath Was is it Chris Christmas? The obscuba school that I want to start

Coral Reath, which is a Christmas themed school that I want to start. I hear it's all my money. Take off my money. Please get the coral reef. It's in Florida for the holidays. The snow buddies come down and they go to coral reef. Aaron is pushing her money across the table with her face. Take it. Please.

There's too many pennies. Who cares about this video? This is me. Can we get a hint? Yes, I gave you your, it's true related. It wasn't ornament jobs. No, it's a famous singer and there is a tree pun in the name. Famous singer, tree pun in the name.

Yes, you're so close. Leap lyrics in the name. Yes, Leap Eric, so that's the famous singer. Needle, leaf needle. It's a type of tree. So it's not like purge. It's not like purge. Oh, I guess, no, it's not birch.

Birch back right. Birch back right was the closest one. Birch back right, I think works as an answer to this. So let's go through some trees. Yes. Give us wide eyes or schmalaise. Okay. Close you give us wide eyes.

For the listeners, you're gonna love this. Well, I'll just say wide eyes, small eyes. Pine. Small eyes. What leaves? Small eyes. Trunk, small eyes. No, no, no. It's a type of tree palm small ice

Apple caniferous oh, I don't have any idea if this is a coniferous tree. Caniferousel brand Someone draw that Jenna Conifer Lee That's great. That's very good. I think I give up. I want the tree and then I'll guess. Should I give you a hint with a singer? Give us the tree and I guess the singer. Or give us a...

Okay, the tree is spruce. Spruce brings me. Well, this will release in 2019, but I late in December, I saw on Broadway. Oh, yeah. How was it? It was amazing. We'll see. We'll see.

I think a birch backer is also a very good, very clever response to that. I want to see a Broadway show. It's been a hot second. I go see a Broadway show. Usually I go two or three times a year and just go see like three or four Broadway shows. That's so smart. Well, thanks for the invite. Okay.

If you ever want to go, I want to see later. I'm going to see a bit of a tour. We are going to see a scene right now. Adel, you have tickets to see Bruce Springsteen on Broadway. I will break in a minute. Sorry, I have tickets to see who. Bruce Springsteen. You will have tickets.

Bruce. No. Hold on. Let me finish. Wait, these tickets say say spruce you have taken Fuck you have tickets. Is he Bruce brings you on Broadway shortly before the show? I break in to let you know that Bruce is sick And there is a replacement Aaron you will be playing the replacement, correct? Okay, okay Ladies and gentlemen the show is about to begin yes

Yes, yes, yes, just to let everyone know, Bruce Springsteen is a little sick and there will be an understudy for this evening. What the whole show is one man. Please welcome, Spruce Springsteen. He just parted out of tree. The chair. Hello. I don't know what he's doing.

Tomorrow, Broadway. Oh, sorry, everyone, everyone, am I crazy? They just, on a dolly, they just brought out a tree. The tree said hello and then launched into a song that's not even a spring-sting song. Shut the fuck up! Your ruined expiter, man, turned off the dark! How do you turn off the dark? I'm trying to find out!

There is a castle all alone. No. Okay. See? See? That might be my favorite in Procene of Everglow. I just got to scream and yell no. The one that you yelled no for. What's that from?

Is that Linus? That's the worst song from Linus and I'll fight anyone who says otherwise. I did a parody of that in a sketch one time, which was there is, it was like for a Halloween candy parody and it was there is some candy in a bag. That's all I remember. How did that show do? It was one of those really bad shows. Can we check it out online?

Is it on Vimeo? Oh, I'm sure it was for the people in the room. The people in the room, I mean the performers doing the show. Okay, where does a snowman keep his money? So these aren't riddles. These are as much as they are. Winters keep winter puns. Where does snowman keep?

For a holiday that's already passed. Winter is not a holiday. Yes it is. But the way I do it, it is. His purse, his wallet. His bank account. Oh he keeps them, he keeps, wait where's his? Yes frozen assets. Yes. Yes. You're joking. I mean I'm joking, but that's good. Where does the snowman keep his money? Yeah, so he doesn't, he has frozen assets. And it's a snow perfect answer. And it's snow bank. The correct answer is the snow

bank, the better answer is his assets have been frozen. I guess I'm sort of a snowbank. Perfect answer, and a snowbank. The correct answer is in a snowbank, the better answer is his assets have been frozen. Guess I'm sort of a funny person. I guess I'm sort of one of the funny people. So Pixar, if you're listening and you need someone to punch up a script, no more Joss Wheyden, get Aaron Kefe. All right, that's my goal in life. What if Aaron took over all of Joss Wheyden's,

like, what? People would be so mad. Whatever's on his 20-dit, he'd gallot it, they're like, give it to Aaron. Okay, here's what we need. Whatever's on his 20-dit, he'd gallad if they're like, give it to Aaron. Okay, here's what we need. JPC, you and I are Pixar execs. Okay.

Aaron, we've brought you into recording a character for a new Pixar movie. And we just wanna have you get in the studio and lay down some lines. Sure. All right, thanks for coming in. Thank you so much for coming in. Of course, we're very excited to have you for the role.

So the role for this, her name is Cynthia, and she's a cowgirl. So this is a Wild West themed Pixar movie. So it's not like Jesse, the cowgirl from Toy Story. The second cowgirl. No, no, it's not at all. No, it's not. We're very original.

Everything we do is original. Yeah, I'm John Lasseter. And I am the other guy. Yeah, it's not. We're very original, everything we do is original. Yeah, I'm John Lasseter. And I am the other guy. Yeah, it was. Brad Bird. Bird. So as I was saying, the role is of a fish. Her name is Diana and she's a fish.

Oh, it's sort of like, it's sort of like a finding email. Fuck. We? No, no, no, no, we could save this. We could save this. We've done everything. Oh, screwed. What's something we haven't done? Oh, you're a star in the night sky. Have we done that? No, we haven't done that.

You're... So this movie is all about we've very written it, and it's amazing. Okay. So it's all about astronomy. You are the North Star. No, you're a star in the little dipper, and you want to get to be in the big dipper, but you're young, and so you got to go through growing things. So just read the lines we are handing to you now, scroll down an napkin. And then you're going a little dipper, and you wanna get to be in the big dipper, but you're young, and so you gotta go through growing pink.

So just read the lines, we are handing to you now, scrolled on an napkin, and here we go. And I own a winery. Mm-hmm. Five job less than I do out a winery. You're a toy, Buzz Lightyear. You're a toy. Thank you so much.

I can't even think of one line from things. Well, no, that was really good. You're a toy! Thank you so much. What is... I can't even think of one line from things. Well, no, that was really good. But I think that way came from our so healthy. We loved your energy. I am of course wearing a Hawaiian shirt. I'm John Lester. Escaping! And of course I'm dressed like the fashion designer from the Incredibles.

The animal. And I'm John Lester, seated. and dressed like the fashion designer from the Incredibles. Edna Mould. And I'm John Lasseter, see. I do know that John Lasseter is an executive at Pixar. And I do know that he wears a white shirt so it is fairly as a winery. Well, maybe we can save this, because this is... Oh, so this is really gonna be really... You're gonna be saved to put this in the suburbs.

Well, I was gonna say, if you had got to voice one animal or an animate object or something in a Pixar movie, what would you want? Would you wanna be like a person or what do you want? An animal. I would want to be something inanimate. Like if I was in Toy Story, if I could be like the speaking spell

or like some sort of shitty robot, that to me is fun. I guess if I had a choice, I would be in the, whatever the leading role is that pays the most money. Oh, okay, yeah, sure. For me, that's like for my choice. Aaron, what about you?

Like a chinchilla. Like a nervous, like a stressed out animal. Yeah, all they love, here's what they love to do in Pixar. They have to have stressed out animals and they also love to play with the juxtaposition of, like they'll have, I don't know if this is a real character, but in fighting an email, they'll have a great white shark, but it'll be like,

I don't wanna bite anyone, I'm just a shaw. So snaggle puts us a shaw. But they love to have the juxtaposition of, you should be this menacing thing, but you're so tame. Speaking of tame, nothing's more tame than the, uh, tame-ass taste of ginger. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor? Um, because someone had eaten him. Why did the gingerbread man say out, say out. Say out to the doctor. Out. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor?

Because he was a little doughy and he was worried about diabetes. So yeah, I guess that's why the smancer. I've been cooked in the doctor. Because he was a little doy and he was worried about diabetes. So yeah, I guess that's why the standard. I've been cooked in the oven. She's a doctor, I've been cooked in the oven. Does that make sense? No, that's incorrect, Aaron. Why did you do the breadman go to the doctor? To figure this out, I want to see a scene between the two of you.

That won't help, but sure. Also, I know the answer. Okay, yearly check up. GPC, your gingerbread man, Adel, your, his wife, and you're going to the doctor and you just like feel like you're about to get some bad news. The way, I'm sorry, the wife is going to the doctor. You're going to the doctor. I'm going to the doctor.

I'm going to the doctor. I'm so worried about you. And you're a human woman and this is, I really love it. Oh, I wanted to talk about the gingerbread man and trick. Oh, you can do that, but she's a human woman and I am a gingerbread and your gingerbread. sweetie I'm so worried about you as a human woman it's very concerning to have a jr. husband okay well you knew what I was when you married me okay yeah I know and I love you but it's just when I put my finger to your pulse it's as fast as can be. Look I'm concerned I don't know what's

going on. Let's just... and if I'm being honest your icing's been a little thin. What do we have said? Okay there's nothing wrong with my icing. As gingerbread men age we the motility of the icing is important. I still... let me turn off the radio of this disgusted woman. Mr. Dijusted woman. Yes, we have you got your test results back. Oh my god. We have a good news bad news. Oh, can we have the good news for sure? Your fertility is fine.

Wait, wait, wait, can you say the good news as if it's bad news? That'll help us. Yeah, that will help us immensely. Your fertility is fine. Two of you should should be able to have kids. Oh, okay. What's the bad news? You're super delicious and we're gonna have to eat you. Oh no.

Well, if you're gonna have to eat me, the least I could do is make a little more frosting. Ew! Ew! Ew! Let's see. You wanted to see the seed. Uh.

How many listeners did we lose? Let's see. You wanted to see the seed. How many listeners did we lose? We never had the list of all. What is the answer to this riddle, guys? Why did Gingerbread main go to doctor? Because is it something to do with baking? It's something to do with his composition. He was feeling a little crispy. He was feeling a little crispy. He was feeling a little baked.

Have you had a gingerbread? Pressure had gum. Draft. Something snapped. His vertebrae snapped. Yes, his vertebrae snapped. His vertebrae gingered snapped. So, you know, when you eat it, sometimes...

Crumble. He had a crumble. Crumble, you feel like crummy. He was feeling crummy. He was feeling crummy. So he was a doctor. All right, last one. How do you sk- Oh, this one sucks. The crumble. You feel like crummy. You feel like crummy. You feel like crummy. You feel like crummy. So you want to sit down here. All right, last one.

How do you sk- Oh, this one sucks. Sorry, sorry, Ashley. How do you scare a snowman? Uh, cut off his snowballs. Oh. Take him outside. Let him be outside where he's melting.

Uh-huh, yeah. Put him in the fine glass. Yeah, I mean, that's- Give him a hug. That's essentially correct. He's scared a snowman a magnifying glass. Yeah, I mean, that's- Give him a hug. That's essentially correct. He's the scariest moment of fright sickles. Yeah, it's fright sickles. The answer is you get a hair dryer.

That's terrifying. Yeah, that's terrifying. But also like, you're what you bring in a hair dryer outside, unless you bring in an extension cord, that ain't gonna do nothing. And with all that snow melting, you're gonna electrocute yourself jokes on you, you dead. All right, Ashley, so jokes on you, you dead.

Thank you so much for sending in those warm-up riddles. Is everyone ready to get to some riddles? Some what? Some riddles. I'm ready for some riddles. I like riddles. Yeah, so let's get to some of our warm-up riddles, but before that, let's take a quick break

and hear from some of us, Bonsamine. Just like a DJ brand brand. Just like a DJ brand, look at them, take a break break and hear from some of us by some eyes just like a new your brain brain just like a new brain bit look at the pick a big take it all take that that's all it keep all that in no let's take a break hey gpc Hey GPC. Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Addle. And I'm setting up a whole website to prank him.

Um, okay. I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Addle. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website.

It engaged with your audience. And so let anything for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Edel, come here. Come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC, and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like,

is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch, you can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production, and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Um, wait, what's going on with that? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal square space website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna.

And I'm gonna use analytics, use insights to grow my, and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm going to improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my Prank website, the Prank site. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for.

The website was for. Prank. Squarespace. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com

for a free trial And when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back She's back. Hey Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adel and JPC, thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an empath. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way.

I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, have there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? They're never truly is a middle of the woods. No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually, so as per Robert Frost,

I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm- this? Because sometimes Aaron in life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being

stuck in the middle of the woods. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you owl, owl. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Hmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods.

Isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Oh, dirty bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down.

Anyways, let there be your map with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help h-e-l-p dot com slash riddle r-i-d-d-l-e. R-i-d-d-l-e the middle of riddles of d but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the L.A.P.C. hoping at home

by M.H.O.M. Who are we? What is this? I clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world.

And that is the app Rocket Bunny. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor and it helps me so much,

especially around tax season. Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you and for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel and rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Clint, Clint, Clint. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and

also get alerted if anything looks off. Over three million. Oh, Clint, Clint, Clint. Over three million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to seven hundred and twenty dollars a year. We love rock. Stop. Stop. Stop. No, click, click, click. Stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocket money dot com slash riddle. That's rocket money dot com slash riddle rock at money dot com slash riddle Intel and JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website

I love you rugged money And we're back with Aaron the animated chinchilla I take a bath and dirt! That's fun. That's fun. I hope Pixar listens. Cool, so we are going to take a little return trip to Nathan Levi's Stories with Holes. Oh, you may remember these as being some of the worst bullshit of the fucking history of riddles.

These are riddle books that were published in the early 80s, I believe, they're very bad. And we are determined to work our way through these disastrous riddle books. Just need to say, early 80s hurry down the chimney tonight. All right. OK. I don't know the idea to say that.

So if you remember how we do these riddles, you can ask yes or no questions to get more information or if you're at all, you can immediately say what you think the answer is and it's no word, me of the answer, or if you're Aaron, you can do that in one shot. You can get it right exactly right the first time. And that was Aaron did about a penny. Aaron was eating those pitties from the table. Aaron, put the pitties down and focus on eating the scorpions. Wow, she popped out eight more and they're all wheat pitties.

What are the odds of that? Am I on a podcast? I'm thinking of it. Okay, Sylvester, let me take this a good, okay. Kevin had just received a promotion in his company. To celebrate, Kevin and his wife invited his boss, his boss's wife, and a and his wife invited his boss, his boss's wife, and a party of 70 in for dinner. A fire broke out during the party and no one escaped

from the room. And the morning, firemen found the bodies of only five people in the rooms. How did this happen? Here's what I love. I love that somebody got a promotion. They're like, me, my wife, my boss, their wife, and 70 people, you're just gonna have a bit of a suarez. It could be like the company maybe. So they found five bodies in the room. Five bodies, five people.

Five people in the runes. The bodies of five people in the ruins. Can you read it one more time? Kevin had just received a promotion in his company to celebrate Kevin and his wife invited his boss, his boss's wife, and a party of 70 in for dinner, a fire broke out during the party, and no one escaped from the room.

In the morning, firemen found the bodies of only five people in the rooms. I realized what I hate about this book. They don't capitalize letters after periods. Is that what you hate about it? That's what you hate about it. Well, just reading it is infuriating because it's all lower case.

That sucks. Also the content. Oh, yeah. It's the content. So they want us to know how to firemen do their job? Yeah, the question is how to firemen do their job. How do this happen? So there's 74 people in the room.

Fire breaks out. They only find five bodies. So we're missing 69 bodies. 69. No way. No, no, that's the answer. Ha ha. 69. My, me, my wife, my wife, my boss, my boss was wife, my boss is wife. In a party of 70 and a party of 70, the party of 70 was the donor party. They ate each other. That's why they only found five bodies It's because five people eight sixty nine people eight sixty nine sixty nine. Ha ha. Why was seven afraid of eight eight sixty nine Eight sixty seven so dirty maybe maybe he is his own boss now And it's boss is wife. It's just his wife. That's pretty good

Maybe he's his own boss now I am I'm how does that explain only five people though? Also, just to backtrack slightly, if somebody can send some fan art of the letter of, if somebody could send some fan art of the number seven and the number eight, 69ing, oh. And if that gets lost in the mail, or it doesn't make the same,

then put the name down. Yeah, I think he billets you, Aaron dot trouble in parakeets. You're able it to Aaron. Trouble in parakeets. You read a little Justice Aaron.trouble in parakeets, right? Very true. It's very expensive. Two tickets to parakeets. So this first of all, this sounds like a really fun party.

Well, no, people die. Oh, that's what I meant. OK, so also, how did the fire start? Was it candles? Was it a hair straightener? I will say that that's what I meant. Okay, so also, how did the fire start? Was it candles? Was it a hair straightener? I will say that that's not important, and you have not, you have yet to ask me a yes or no question. Wait, wait, okay, here we go.

Was the fire started by trying to scare a snowman with a hair dryer? Yes. Was the fire started by one of the people in the party? It does not matter. I know the answer. Were the 70 guests people? Were the 70s? They were snowmen, They melted. That's why there's only for

bodies. Let five bodies hit the floor. This is no longer a winter themed riddle. So divorce yourself in that possibility. Aaron, can you ask me that question again? Were the 70 guests people? I do need you to ask me a different a more specific version of that question. I can't really answer that question. We're the 70 guests humans. They were cardboard cutouts. The party was...

Here's the question. I was calling talking with cardboard cutouts on strings trying to make the way they are being able to. Everyone who attended the party was a human. Yes. So that's... 70. That's not...

But you have to answer yes or no to my question. We're the 70 guests. People. So I can't answer yes. Why? So that's part of it. You have to ask a different question. It'd be easier to assume too much information. Did anyone spontaneously combust? No. Was the person who got the promotion The same as the boss no Were they not actually at the party Where they like no everyone listed was at the party was the boss and the guy who got promoted married to the same person No, they were in the one like to the four or five people were in one room and other people in a different room No, they were all in the same way were the 70 guests actually a Russian nesting doll

No They're my close no No, they were all in the same room. Were the 70 guests actually a Russian nesting doll? No. They're my clothes? No. The 70 guests were firefighters. No. 70 guests were not people. Wait, couldn't they just have burned up into ash and you don't find their bodies?

You would have found their remains. But yeah, I mean, technically yes. But they don't find their bodies. You would have found their remains. But yeah, I mean, technically yes. But they don't even say bodies. They do say bodies. Five have even found the bodies of only five people in the runes. Gotcha. How did this happen?

The guests aren't people. I will read the one part that I think is the, this is my hint for you. This is the part that has the answer in it. Good. To celebrate, or I'm sorry, to celebrate, Kevin and his wife invited his boss, his boss his wife, and a party of 70 and for dinner. A party of 70 what?

Part of, a party of 70. I can only answer your questions. Somebody, it was one person, and they legally changed your name to party of 70, because they were a big party of five fans But they love to do things to the 14th degree. Yeah, no, but that's the closest you've been oh That's a it's a 70 year old man. Yes party of 70. It is a party of 70. It's a septic generic answer There were never more than five people there the man his wife his boss his boss's wife and the party of 70 an elderly relative The trick was that it was a relative the man, his wife, his boss, his boss's wife, and the party of 70, an elderly relative.

The trick was that it was a relative. That's all relative. Everything's relative. What do we write with that, Riddle? That would cost me, brother. Let's rank this Riddle. I would give this Riddle an F for fire. Well, so yeah, that's, that's, that's, that's, now that is the end,

that was the last riddle in Nathan. Oh, you hate to buy that. Well, let's rip it up with holes volume one. I also have Nathan Levi's stories with holes. Please don't. Why are you like this? The thing about these is he did 20 volumes of these. Oh my God.

Well, now that we're pocket- We need the other 18. We only have three. This business went out of business sometime in the 80s. I tried to do some online tricks. Did they go out of business, or were they sued by human rights? Human. I tried to do some research on who this person is

or what this thing was. Is it like a Lebanese naked situation? It seems like this person spent years of their life compiling these stupid things. And I don't, I I mean if anyone can point me in the direction of Nathan Levi from Heistown to Jersey. It sounds like we are about to go on an adventure Here's in L Associates Inc. is no longer an incorporated company in New Jersey So I don't know how to find this person. I would we would love to have them on the show Here's what I want to see before we get into this terrible next chapter of garbage

Uh-huh. I want to see a scene where Aaron you are hosting some sort of event JPC you are a caterer and I want there to just be mass confusion in the way you talk in terms of If you say I'm having a party of 17 you mean one person. Okay, gotcha. You're fucking have everything So I just want there to be some some some terrible game of telephone going on. Sure. What is this? Oh, those are the ordores that you ordoered. What? Those are the ordores that you ordoered. Okay, I'm having a party of 70 overs. I'm gonna need 18 birthday cakes, but a turkey dinner for one. And what are these? This is 18 birthday cakes. Birthday cakes for one. And what are these? This is eight teen birthday cakes, birthday cakes for teens.

And eight. Yeah, I don't even know what any of these references are in the cake. Like, what's this one? Oh, that's dab on my haters graves fortnight. Okay, well, that doesn't sound like a thing teens actually say. That sounds like what a deranged 29, almost 30-year-old man. Technically 30-thousand. No, but yes, this one says Flossy McPath- Flossy with my Posse. Okay, so have you met a teen recently? These are teen- these are eight-teen cakes. These were cakes. Fourteen. No cakes prepared by teens. Okay. Well, what's this one? That one just says, do I make you hold me, baby? All right. Well, then what's this one? That one just says, Do I make you hold me, baby? Alright, well then what's this one? That one is a picture of Mr. T and it says, up T, off. Alright, what's this one then?

That is a picture of Calvin peeing on a adult. Alright, next one. So this is number five. That one just says, What a boy, bourbon bof. This one? That one says skateboard class. Yeah.

And this one? Middle school sucks. And this one. That one says, down with teachers, and there's a crude picture of a teacher going down on a dog. OK. Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy, I'm so sorry to bother you. We just got an order for five more cakes. Can you

tell me what to put on that? Oh yes, five more pancakes. This is going to say Church of Latter-day Skates. Great. This one is good. These are more than teeth cakes. That one is going to say Salt lick my ball city. Great. That one is gonna say Mitt Rom Nito. Fine. Okay. That one's gonna say call me Daddy Joseph Smith. And one more. That one's gonna say get off your iPad and get on your golden tablet. And my soul's released to have a scene. Let's get into your golden tablet. And my soul is released to heaven. Same. Let's get into book two, baby. Don't you ever fucking fit me into lists. You know, I'm improv train.

I've got 15 years at this business. I went to the Mormon church so much growing up. Oh, yeah? Yeah, my best friend, Julie is Mormon. And in order for us to have sleepovers, I had to go to the Mormon church all the time. And request that God allow you the ability to sleep. Yes.

Mm-hmm. It was very interesting. In college, me and my buddy Mike used to call the Mormons on each other because if you call the Mormons and give them your address, they'll show up with one of their weird nobibles. They'll show up with their book of Mormon and they'll deliver to you by hand and so we

always used to do that. We would be like, yeah, meet me at this time and set up a call and then they'd show up and be like, what are talking about more of it as we'd be like, no, it was a fun prank. Yeah, they're not human. Mike, you know, Mike certainly wasn't. Ah, no, I think all religion is equally bad. Let's go to another riddle. This one is titled The Hissing Sound.

The hissing sound led to an investigation. The investigation led to the discovery of drowned parties. The investigator helped prevent future drowning and even greater loss. What happened? I got it. Okay. And now this is great because you got it immediately. So you're gonna be correct on this

and this is one of your classic getting it right on the first try. So let's hear it right now. So I'll say the answer. You'll confirm that that answer was indeed correct. We'll move on with our lives. We'll both dab and we'll both celebrate. So what happened was this is the chamber of secrets. He got flooded with water.

There's a Baslic speaking parcel tonne. Yes, I know this book is from the early 80s. This book is from the early 80s. So it predicted Harry Potter. I think actually this edition was published in 1990. Okay, well it's parcel tonne. Dare tell you that I think I created Dumbledore before Harry Potter came out.

So dead stop. Dead, dead parents stopped. Dead, dead stopped. My parents are dead stopped. The boy who, the boy who, the boy who dead stopped. Who is Dumbledore? Aaron, well, you just claimed this is, this is going to make, this is going to make Reddit

front page. This is her story. Aaron Keith just claimed she created Dumbledore. Dumbledore. Dumbledore, I didn't, not his name. I got everything right except his name. So my pretend friend growing up was a wizard named Wizzy, pulled on.

OK, I've heard all I need to hear. Nobody had an identical personality to Dumbledore. And then when my mom started reading me Harry Potter, I like, had like, I flipped out because I was like, they took it. They took, I was like, he taught me magic. I went had like I flipped out because I was like they they they took it. They took I was like he taught me magic. I went to his school that was behind. I had to walk around a tree in my neighbors backyard three times to go see him. Let me ask you this. Oh no. Was was he gay? Yes. Wow. Definitely gay. Then that's Dumbledore. Yeah, you just go outside. You walk around clockwise around

the tree three times. He would join me and then he would be like this is how you do magic and they taught me how to control the weather. Aaron, I don't know how to death stop, a dead stop. This is the deepest, this is like inception. Another, a better stop. Um, there's a thing there weren't a lot of kids in my neighborhood my age. So you invented a wizard who was a stitively way older than you? Yes, and I said it's for cooler and didn't want to play with me.

So this is like biting into a piece of pie and there's a full pie inside of it. Like this, this is the gift that keeps on giving. this is like biting into a piece of pie and there's a full pie inside of it. Like this is the gift that keeps on giving. So biting into a piece of pie. I can someone drop me and Wizzy just like a little girl with things, walking around a tree with a wizard. But he's like a jinky, dumbledore. So describe, describe Wizzy without,

before you knew what dumbledore was or is describe Wizzy. Like you said he had the same mirror traits. Old man. Like mischievous, jovial twinkle in his eye was in charge of a magic school and came and was like you're not ready to go to magic school so I'm gonna teach you how to like control the weather and do magic things can I ask you something yeah have you ever seen sorted in this stone no I at that point I had it because Dumbledore is basically Merlin yeah I

think I maybe invented Merlin after Merlin already Anyways, but he just was dumb. He's very dumb, Doloresh So, Whizzie taught you to control the weather in other can you still make sure the Patriots want it every time I watch them? How did how do you have a very important quest, Evan? You must make sure the Patriots always win football I Tom Brady will pass for 500 yards until I was 18 You're supposed to question it. You must make sure the Patriots always win football. I- Tom Brady will pass for 500 years. Until I was 18, I never saw the Patriots lose. Like every time I sat down to watch the Patriots they won.

Well, even when they win, they lose. Do you guys think that Tom Brady is one of Bill Bell checks or crux's? Yeah, he is. It also, he is definitely a problem. Tom Brady is like not a good guy, but one time when I was in the third grade, I went to the Patriots parade in Boston and he made eye contact with me.

Brady did or Bill check? Brady did and I swear to God I hit puberty right at that moment. I became a woman. I was like, oh my God, he's the most handsome. Anyways. So how did you control the weather? What was the magic? Well, this is going to sound stupid.

No, so far everything. No. No, no. I created Dumbledore, the wizard named Wizzy, he walked me around three times. I was a lonely kid. This is going to sound so smart. No, I thought I could control local weather. Tom Brady looked at me and I hit puberty. Now this is going to sound stupid. You thought you could control local weather. Tom Brady looked at me and I hit puberty now. This is gonna sunstube you thought you could control local weather

Yeah, I did not like globally, but I thought like Aaron you need to keep your emotions and The weather's been all over the frickin place today Today, did was he have a boss and accent? No, he was he was Dumbledore. Was he British? Wow. Was he like the Michael Gambon Dumbledore or the first one? What was that guy's name? Richard Harris. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I regret telling you this. Okay, so we have to see you see with Aaron as young Aaron. JPC, you're going to Tom Brady, and I'm gonna be Wizzy. Also, I had Harry Potter glasses. What does that mean?

Like the shape of Harry Potter's glasses. Well, that's just wrong glasses. Okay. What was the scene I was listening? You're gonna be you. I'm a young girl. I'm gonna be Wizzy, and JPC's gonna be Tom Brady. Yeah, okay, I can't wait for this

to be a reoccurring segment. Okay. And three, I've walked wait for this to be a reaccurring segment. Okay. Oh yeah, and three, I've walked around the tree three times. Hey! Heronets, me, Wizzy. Where's your British accent? What do you mean I have a British accent inherently? Try one of my Fizzy Whizbies.

Okay. Who's it? Oh my god, a Fizzy Whizbies. Oh my god, we held up. Hi. Oh, I've tied up Tom Brady. You brought me Tom Brady. Yes Because I know you'll find him handsome and you can control the weather by getting wet. Oh Good

Never mind never mind. I take it all back. Let me let me magic this away Now here and I want to teach you something special. Yes. Now, if you pull off the tape and kiss Tom Brady, you're going to be able to operate. Okay, Tom Brady, hi. Do I have permission to kiss you? Handsome, but problematic man,

who definitely cheated at one time and has really problematic political views. Oh wait, I took the tape off, that's just how he talked. The Donald Trump is good present there. Yeah, he's dumb as shit. I eat poop. Never mind. Aaron, what magic would you like to learn?

I have more to say! Can you have it so I can make some friends in my neighborhood and I don't have to rag my bike alone all over the neighborhood and talk to myself all the time? Oh, sweetie. No, no, I'm fine! I'm fine! Oh, I'm fine. Aaron, you are fine. It's me, Peyton Manning.

I get into fights with my sister just so she'll talk to me. There's no one fucking listening to be a Peyton Manning. Peyton Manning, no one cares. Hey, it's me, you lie, manning. Oh, people care less. I'm the plucky young brawler. I think there's a third manning. Yeah, I think he's an architect.

I'm an architect. Hi, I'm Drew Brees. It's me Rex Manning from the movie Empire Records. And Pire Rackers, I love too brief. It's me Rex Manning from the movie and by your records. I love that movie And see no no no scene yet. It is me Cold the horse the evil wizard cold horse You created me did I I am them who shall not be named, but my name is Cole the Horace. Oh I see. I see what happened here.

Well. How are you? We're the kids. We're the kids. We're the kids. We're the kids. We're the kids. We're the kids.

We're the kids. We're the kids. We're the kids. We're the kids. We're the kids. We're the kids. We're the kids. We're the kids. We're the kids. We're the kids. We're the kids. We're the kids. sadness sadness in my body little kids sadness a very specific kind of sadness little kid melancholy go

You're just pushing one dollar bill All right, so do you have the answer? Yeah, that was the way too personal of us thing that I just And I'm sure if we all have fucked up stupid stuff from our childhoods will share it eventually It was really cool the hissing sound is. Fletire. Fletire. Fletire.

Fletire. Fletire. Fletire. Fletire. Fletire. Fletire. Fletire. Fletire.

Fletire. Fletire. Fletire. Fletire. Fletire. Fletire. Fletire. Fletire.

Fletire. Fletire. Fletire. Fletire. Fletire. Yes, some yesterday questions was the hissing sound of fly tire. No was a hissing sound of gas leak No, was the hissing sound of snake. No was the hissing sound A hysterectomy no Direct to me That's parcel tongue for history You're just elongated You don't speak parcel tongue Can't they come from a person? No.

Like boo, hiss. No, it's not a cartoon person. Led to an investigation of underwater, of drown parties. Drown parties. Are parties people again? Is drown parties, is drown their last name? No. And they're not people.

Is it drowning pool? Yes, it's the band drowning pool. Oh, so, it's not people who are drowning. No. Drowned parties is not people. Is it drowning pool? Yes, it's the bandranny pool. Oh, so it's not people who are drowning. No, drowned parties is not people. Drone parties is not people. Are they plants? No. And the hose is the hissing sound,

it's on another plant. God, thanks. Plants are being drowned. No, no. Yes. Note about the view. What else hiss is? You were closest with hose, Aaron.

Fire hydrant. Um, no. Hose, sink, shower. No, but think of where else water is. Ocean. Water on earth. Water in house, water in body. Water in body.

Water in house. Water in house. No. Water everywhere. What takes the water to the heater and the drinks? Pipes. Pipes. Yes. The hissing sound was a burst pipe Drowned wrap crack pipe close drowned mice no drown gerbils smaller

Minis But a pipe burst and there's drown cockroaches. Why would I fucking care about any of this? So they have families in loved ones. Oh, no. Excuse me. It says no. They don't. No one loves them. That's not true. That's everyone. Everyone is lovely. Good Aaron. That's right. Even cockroaches have families. Where is your British accent? Never forget. Whizzy. No, it actually says in this book that cockroaches don't love. They're actually hashtag no love, they just down to fuck, they just fuck around, cockroaches are fuck boys. Thank you, Nick.

Thank you, Nick's cockroaches. Wow, team. Okay, is that we got it right? That's the whole thing. So you got a part of it, right? It was the hissing sound was a pipe. The drowned parties were bugs, but the investigator helped prevent future drowning

and even greater loss. Because the bugs were pregnant and the baby's died. It was an exterminator. I know. The guy who did the pipes, Plummer. Yes, Plummer. And the further the even greater loss that he prevented, they prevented.

Water loss. Yes, he prevented more water from being lost. He saved the player. He saved the player. He saved the player. He saved the player. He saved the life of all the cockroaches. Home values.

Yes. Home value. The Hissing Sound was a widening leak in a basement pipe. The drowned parties were bugs covered by the leaking water. The discovery of the leak saved the basement from being damaged by the flood. Aren't you all proud of yourselves for getting the riddle right? Yes. You'll climb this one.

All right, if you can help us find Nathan Levy, we all have some he's got a lot to answer for. 3-20, yeah. Okay, actually, can I say something? Yes, Aaron, please. I think I really like bad riddles. Like, I prefer, like those to me are somehow more satisfying. I know they fill you listeners with a rage, but the thing about good riddles is they,

when you do too many of them in a row, your brain is like used to listening to certain things. Yeah. This one is like a pull apart the words riddle. This one is like a diversion riddle. So I feel like bad riddles often Don't do a correct format and those are the ones who are that are actually surprising We should also mention and I feel like we said this before but we plan on doing this podcast for a long time

And there are thousands of years there are 12 good riddles. Oh, yeah, so and they're all in the habit We Egg that's one of them. Yeah, time, egg, history, bubble, cloud. We have to sometimes do bad riddles. No, we have to always do bad riddles. The other thing about bad riddles is they even the frickin' playing field, because even you people out there that are so good at riddles can't get the bad riddles

because they're impossible. And I think also, here's my other theory about riddles. I think that they're only good if you hear like one a year. Oh yeah. Because your brain cannot be like ready for a riddle. That's right, Aaron. Riddles are bad. Tom, Tom Riddle is bad. But Tom Brady's good.

I eat my two keys. All right. This riddle is called what Susie observes. Susie observes the body. Why does the title just say the first sentence, because the last couple, you could like the title. This one's called the Hissing Sound. I love the Hissing Sound.

I love the Nathan Rotals for these. What Susie observes. Nathan, if you're out there and still alive, you have an open invitation to come on the show, we will berate you, we will interrogate you. I want to know about what your life is and what led you to this fate. We will make you cry.

Suzy observes the body. Her report is filed, but not with the police. Body crisis. Explain. I'm sorry. Body of Christ. It's on a body of a person. Transmission.

It is a body of a person. No. Okay. It's an animal. No. It was animal control. One more time. Suzy observes the body. Her report is filed filed but not with the police body of water no body

Body rock body moving BC boys. Yeah, yes, it's a piece of voice no body. So it's on animal. No bug. No It's a body. What else is a body? No? Oh car no Is it a mode of transportation? No is it the actor body heartly? What's that guy? Is it a singer? Ornament Jones. Are you thinking of the football player, Tom Body? That's it is. Body. What else has a body of work? Shakespeare? No. Body. It's something that you would observe. You would observe. Human body. St It's to observe the body. No, observe the body artist When shark the body I know what a secret thing about me is I've always wanted to be like a nude thing for a bunch of painters That's up if anyone out there. No, not like an individual

If anyone out there once If anyone out there wants to earn over You just open up you just open up I have friends that I have friends that have done that I have friends that did that like in college and shortly after college I think that you can like go to like an art alex and sign up for something I did that but I did it with only I did a puppetry of the penis Where I just stand my hand occurred and put my penis out there and then I make like little, I tied it and not tied in a bow, sling it over my shoulder like a constant

and it was so slowly. Oh, God. I did some new modeling in college. It was supposed to be. It was nude modeling. It was nude modeling and it's supposed to be for an art class and they were supposed to draw naked man holding a big bowl of fruit.

But I love apples. I could not keep my hands off of the fruits. Oh, I thought you were gonna say you got hard. Yeah, got hard fuck on the apples. And if you're 13 listening to this, I'm sorry. But I also think that that's an important goal. And I'm sorry too. And I will be a true man. You don't have a British accent, it's throwing me for a loop.

Wait, I don't have a British accent. it's throwing me for a loop. Wait. I don't have a British accent. I guess I don't. This Suzy's job is to observe this body. Body of a- Proof. Wednesdays, TNT. Is it a plant? No.

Is it a kind of art? No. Body. Sade. Okay, you guys want a hint? Yeah. She needs a certain instrument to observe this body. She needs a certain instrument to observe this body. She would not be able to observe this body without this piece of equipment.

Binoculars, telescope, body. Correct. Milky Way. Yes, telescope. Yes. Body of stars. Yeah. A heavenly body.

Bull. So, Marcy is an astronomer who discovers a new heavenly bony i'm sorry suzy is an astronomer who discovers a new heavenly body through her telescope speaking of heavenly bodies were going to be right back after our sponsor victoria secret

uh... no we're not i would love i i Oh, no we're not. We're staying there. I would love it. I, I, I, Victoria's Secret has its problems, but I'd love to be sponsored by them because I haven't bought in a new brown like three years. Let's do a quick ad for Victoria's Secret. Yeah. Aaron, take it away. And spot.

Uh, hi, if you're like me, your brother's starting to disintegrate. Excuse me, ma'am. Excuse me, ma'am. Excuse me, ma'am. Yeah. Excuse me, ma'am. Yeah. I'm a new father and I, um, a new father to a teen daughter. It's like a big daddy situation, but oh, you should get her a cake at, uh,

team cakes. I already got her a cake at team cakes. I'll, I'll fuck off there. Well, don't fuck off, but everybody knows, team cakes is the best cakes for teens. Ma'am, I was looking for a presale for my team daughter and I was hoping that you might be able to guide me into a perfect, correct experience. Certainly. Well first of all I can help you find a bra that doesn't fit because that's sort of my thing. The other thing is you're going to buy it a really ugly peach color forever and ever. And that's how you buy a bra and then she'll keep it till her early 30s. Aaron thanks for coming into the

doctor's office. As your doctor I do want to let you know that the physical turned out okay, but I am deeply concerned about when you struck down for your physical, your bra is basically disintegrated. Yeah, but I'm stubborn and I'm very, very poor. Okay, well your skin is started to grow over the bra. That makes sense. That makes sense.

That will seep into your heart and kill you. Yeah, well, we all have to die somehow, huh? Huh? Huh? You shouldn't say that to a doctor. Here's $20. Use that as you see fit. I'm going to buy a bunch of snacks.

Bye. Hey, Aaron. Thank you for coming into the Walgreens on Clark Street. I'm going to purchase all these snacks. While you were in the aisle looking at the snacks, I noticed that you're very sick and it seems you have some sort of bra slash cancer thing. I really just can't charge you for the snacks. Here's $20. Oh, well, yeah, but yeah.

Aaron, thanks for coming over to my house. Again, my name is Josh Radley. And I'm so excited you responded to my DM about coming over to post nude. I'm a huge Heyrtle Rittle fan and I just think it's so cool that you offered that up to your fans for you to come over and post nude What a cool host you are Doors closed down, cops for me. Everybody freeze. You're under arrest, Aaron Keith You know that makes sense, but here's my bra And you have to just promise me one thing you won't throw up when you see it see Victoria secrets Oh, yeah, that's the full ad for just some this I guess you're a lady

Please send me some bras Let's do another riddle speaking of another riddle he could not see is the title of this one When his eyes were uncovered he still could not see well I will give you a hint this one is ultimately very unsatisfying and it's the last one we'll do. He could not ocean and even when his eyes were covered he could not ocean. I know it's midnight. No, it's like nighttime out. Ornament Jones.

Yes, ornament Jones. So it's not ornament Jones but the answer is it is a very specific figure. Oh, it's William Tell. When his eyes were uncovered, he still could not see. This is so fucked. He could not see. This is, when his eyes were uncovered, is the person blind? Are they dead? No, and no. When his eyes were uncovered, he still could not see. Is it like a historical figure? No. What do you mean specific person? I didn't say person.

I, potato, it's a potato. It's a fucking potato. Is it really? Yeah. It's a potato. But the way that it's, the way that it is, answer is phrase, it just says, Mr. Potato's eyes are not for seeing.

We, what's this guy's name again? This guy's name is Nathan Potato. No, which is your name? Nathan Levi or Nathan Levy? Nathan Levi. Fans of favor to riddle. Scour the internet. Scour your local telephone books.

If you live in the highest town in New Jersey. If you live in New Jersey. And you've lived there for 30 years to be done. We need to find, we will not air any more episodes until we find Nathan Levi We need to hold this man accountable for his war crimes. This is like Gerbils and Gary part two All right, if you're listening I want Nathan come over to your house and post it. I want Nathan potato and Maria CVS to have a long life together.

Sure, this person's long dead. We have a listener submitted Riddle to end the episode. This is from Tom Amber. Tom, right, Ty Oldman, Puzzies and Co. This Riddle is the most stupidly hard riddle I have ever heard of. It's not fun because it's stupid, but I thought it might be interesting to hear your thoughts. All right, so here's the riddle our thoughts are that it's stupid Yeah, well we might agree with you Tom also Tom amber if you rearrange the little letters of Tom amber it spells Cold horse

Well, it's cool cold horse. Is that your cold the horse? I can't remember it doesn't actually matter fuck this podcast Riddle you see a letter that originated from senselessness, and that's capitalized for some reason, I'm not sure. You see a letter that originated from senselessness. What does it read? Yeah, that could be what? There's two clues. You want the clues immediately?

Yes. Glue what? The letter is not one that is posted. Glue two, there are hidden instructions to follow. What the fuck? Could you read it again? This isn't even a riddle. You see a letter that originated from senselessness. What does it read? Is it the letter Y? Like why the fuck? It's so senseless. Is it in this fucking riddle? I don't know. People who listen to the podcast find Tom Amhert. No, he's great. Smarter than us. He's blind. We hate educated people on the show.

We hate when people are smarter than us. He also said, I hope you like it even if it's stupid. Love the podcast. Keep doing what you're doing. Oh, wait, I love Tom. Yeah, we love Tom. Tom. I don't know that we'll ever get this, do you want to hear the explanation?

This is impossible to get. What if Tom swallowed a mosquito? There'd be a mosquito trapped in amber. Well, no, it'd be digested. Well, just give me this. I guess ready for the answer. Do you want to guess, Aaron? I don't know.

Can you give us a better hint? So let me read the explanation. Do you want to guess, Aaron? I don't know. Can you give us a better hint? So let me read the explanation. Is it the letter of the alphabet? It's a letter of the alphabet. A, B, C, D. It's not Y? No. Since you stopped after D.

So if you're senseless, you're, are we taking away like taste, smell, see, hearing, see, is it a letter C? No. I already said no to D is it a letter C? No. I already said no to C. Is it a potato? No. G.

Okay hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, I. We have to give you the answer. I still need to understand this. Okay. MNOP, QR, C, U, V, W, X, Y, and C. No, it's one of those.

You see a letter that originated from senselessness. What does it read? The letter is not one that is posted. There are hidden instructions to follow. So when it says letter is not one that is posted, it's saying it's not like a correspondence. It's not like a correspondence, it's a letter. You see a letter, okay, here it is.

The answer is E, and here's the explanation. If you read senselessness like instructions, i.e. since dash less dash ness and take the letters of ness away from the letters of since you are left with e. So since less ness. Oh, I think so. The letters in e s s. Well, or I guess the letters in ES are taken out of, in ESS are taken out of the word since and you're left with an E. I gotta say this. Tom, I have to say this. You have to say this.

I enjoy this. Yeah, that's pretty good. Um, it did it and we were mean to him, but Tom, we will not post another podcast, we will not do it any more episodes until we get to me. Nothing personal. I get to buy you a drink. Tom, you should come on the show. Tom, come on the show.

Walk in and start recording. Tom, I will say from the look on Adel Gave, if he does buy you a drink, drink it very fast. Because I have added to the poison, isn't the ice by a dear boy. And you should pee it out. The pee that poison out. This is a very frustrating word, so I'm going to give it an F for frustrating. But I think it's very good. I'm going to give it an F for frustrating, but I think it's very good. Give it an E.

I'm going to give it an A for Adelape Root. I think that's fantastic. That's, thank you so much, Tom, for the riddle. If you have a riddle that you want us to read on the show, please send it into hrrpodcast.gmail.com. And if you have just like something that you want to say, if you want to say hello, if you want to just talk to us, also write into hrourpodcast at gmail.com. And we'll maybe give you a little response on that. You can always send us emails at hrourpodcast at gmail.com. You can follow us on Twitter, on Instagram. We have merch up at T public. Please check out our Patreon, which is launched or launching soon. We would love to have you check that out. We're going to have all kinds of bonus content every week. We're going

to have episodes that are very similar to this, but a little bit different with game show type stuff, roadtrip type games, special one offs, all kinds of fun stuff. So please check that out. Just a little nuggets of Americana. Just the American experience. And we are changing our podcast name from Hey, Virgil, Virgil, too. Well, nuggets of Americana. Yeah, I'm nervous. And check it out. So you can see the three of us perform weekly at I.O. Chicago

in the show, Worldness Tonight. So please come see the show. And please, please, please, if you do, stick around efforts and say hi. And we'd love to meet you and buy a drink and make a drink. Buy a drink, make a drink. ice, take a photo and kill you. Take a photo of the drink, kill the drink. JPC anything to plug?

You can just follow me on Twitter at JPCOFly or follow me on Instagram at Shark Parkman. Follow me on Instagram at ErinKeefe10 to look at pictures of my niece. Erin, Erin! Oh. I have to tell you- What?

One of the planets is in retrograde. Uh-oh. Do you know which one? Is it Jupiter? Aaron! Aaron! Oh. I have to tell you what? One of the planets is in retrograde. Uh-oh. Do you know which one? Is it Jupiter? Did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did-did- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, That was a Hitgun podcast.