Hey Riddle Riddle - #251: Me Want Sympathy

Episode Date: May 10, 2023

Hey Riddle Riddle expresses solidarity with all of the WGA writers on strike right now. We hope that their work is recognized, respected, and that their demands are swiftly met. Workers deserve to share in the fruits of their labor! And now, a comedy podcast. Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to mail us something?  Hey Riddle Riddle  6351 W Montrose Ave #267 Chicago, IL, 60634 Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531) Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. Hello, we're in the right hand. My feet before a rick-a-brick come. Welcome! Welcome Guardians of the Galaxy. Thank you so much for responding to our planet's call. You are surely here to save us all Sorry, sorry, I got some fleas. Let me just scratch behind my ear. I'm a literal animal here Sorry, this is Adel. This is Adel Aaron and I'm Aaron and that's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say.

That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say.

That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say.

That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. That's all she can say. available so they sent us instead. This is Adel. He has any snacks. That's Adel. I worms. Well, I'm a cherry. Wait, yeah. So wait, no, yeah, because it looks like, because you keep saying, this is Adel, you look like you're a, I don't want to say like one and a half

foot tall or raccoon. Yeah, something of a, you look you. Something else, right. And you look like a big tree. Yeah. But you're not the guardians of the galaxy. No. No.

Don't forget our third companion. Well, who, yeah, who's this guy? This one seems to be just on his phone. What's going on with this? He's bored, and that's JPC. I'm sorry. JPC, we're saving a planet. Do you want to hear us?

We're at the job. Yep, we're here. We're saving a planet. Do you want to join us? We're at the job. Yep. We're here. Okay. Yeah. I have these fucking douchebags shown up yet or when we talk to you that souls Shah da da da da. Right there. Oh, excuse me. He's joking. It's in Daring. Really? Yeah, he's he's he's three things on his phone joking and politically aligned with Chris Pratt. I mean, I don't know. You can't just tell people something is scary or it's mad. It doesn't read that way. I just want to say that much. I like it.

I mostly like it. Yeah, you're a fucking tree. Shut up. All right. Well, what do you need? I'm sorry, I'm talking to my agent. Sorry. Ignore a DBC, ignore Adam. No, no, no, that I actually get. What do you need? I'm talking to my agent

Sorry ignore JBC ignore Adam no no that I actually get the business oh boy We have the industry here as well Don't forget about me Johnny Warlock. He magic. He magic. This is Johnny Warlock. He's a town crazy person He works on the planet with me. Okay, well, what can we do to help? We can solve riddles like 30% of the time. We can be the worst. What else? What else can we do? No, no, we have a planetary crisis. What is it? I can't get a date because I don't think I'm good enough. Okay, everyone back on the spaceship No, please look at my profile trying to help

No, bye, no, no, no, get back on My agent my agent says we don't get paid unless we help the guy get the day. You have an agent I think he's aging. That means nothing. That's not all right. Welcome. Welcome to Hey Riddle Riddle. A podcast where you decide if that sounds like a good guardian of the galaxy movie. Now there's a writer strike on right now. So there are no bad ideas. We might scan across the pickup line.

Pick a plot. Do I have to be a raccoon the whole episode? Oh, let's see. Please say that, please. No, thank you. Oh, thank you. You don't have to. You're free.

But Aaron is going to be a tree that talks just like normal Aaron. Yeah, I'm in the whole episode. Sort of for M.O. This was an expensive costume, and I will wear it the entire episode. All right, I got a big question. Yeah.

What do we think of the Bethesrider strike? Are we all, I mean, I'm against the writers, of course, I'm with the bosses, I'm with the studios. Here's the thing, that's their money. These grubby little writers want that studio money. No thanks. Hmm. I'd say a couple hundred more million a year for these fellas.

These creative fellas with all that money. Here's what I'll say. I think I have friends who are in the WGA. I feel for them. This is a tough time. I want to support them, but here's the thing. We all laughed in the fucking face of Quibi. We all thought, not for me.

Yeah. And so Quibi sunk. We cracked open the earth and we shoved it down deep into the core and to the molten metal and it sealed it back up never to be seen again. So I feel like we as a collective have brought this on ourselves because Quibi, COVID killed Quibi. That was not the consumer.

We would have embraced Quibi if we had needed Quibi. Everyone was ready for short bites. Everyone was ready for 15 second TV shows. Look at what TikTok is, Quibi could have been huge. Wait, short bites, that would be Shelby. Without writer, I feel like, for the next year, we're gonna get a shit ton of horrible reality TV shows.

So if we want to- As it was to, I mean, but we want to pitch a reality TV show, the three of us, I feel like now's the time. What are we gonna do? The only reason that I'm mentioning it is just so all of our fans know,

look, we support the writers, we support the writers on strike. We are not affiliated with the WGA, but all of our writers for Hayward and Rinal are. And so the show is going to get way worse for a little bit as for the opening. It's been entirely scripted up until this point. The openings are all scripted. That opening, I'll say right now, that's what you get when you hire scabs. These are, these are your world lock. These are festering post-duuals that we have hired to

write our openings. And they're not good. I have a lot of the people from the Harvard lampoon. We normally have a lot of fun 23 year old who are writing some comedy, but we don't have any of them anymore. And we should clarify, we're not with the WGA,

but we are on WGN. That's a fun little joke for anyone who lives in a 10 mile radius of me. That's a fun little joke for anyone who lives in a 10 mile radius of me. That's a fun little joke for a local Chicago. WGN is maybe Nash, it doesn't matter. It couldn't matter. It could be Nash. It could be Nash at all.

It could be Nash. I think now is our time where we pitch our, what is it called? State fair reality TV show. Yes, we have free, but everybody. Where we get sent to every state fair. Mm-hmm. Go to all 50 state fairs, we eat ourselves sick and we meet the locals. And I think that's what, what,

I don't know if we've asked this before, which state fair would you be most psyched for? Iowa. Mm. I'm gonna say Minnesota. I wanna say Iowa. So the same thing as me stealing answers. He's looking off my paper, Adel,

you can see him looking off my paper. Can I pitch a name for the show? Yes. Is it a hundred or a hundred one? A hundred one places to poop eat before you die. Interesting, interesting. I'm about to look into that. is it a hundred or one one one places to poop eat before you die? Interesting. Interesting. Similar to look into that.

Yeah. If it's open, if it's available, if it's available, we take that we think it's available. I think we call it fair enough. Um, but nobody gets to pun because it's spelled exactly the same. Okay. What about the fairest of them all? Because are we looking for the best day fair?

Yeah, but then people are going to think it's Cinderella. If we all dress up as Disney princesses, when we eat ourselves, we can't afford that. Yeah, interesting. Maybe knock off. Ooh, let's come up with a list of knock off Disney princesses. This is what happens when there's no writers around.

All of our ideas just end up being, we just go with every idea. Yeah, this is not good. We need the writers back. I hope that they listen to them soon. They're asking for so little. Yeah. Yeah. And it's and of course, they'll fight them tooth and nail forever. Uh, scent, but the writers deserve so much, so much more because without the writers, remember, we're watching reality TV. And as we've just shown here today, that's not great. Blender yellow. Blender yellow. Oh, really?

I feel like Adel, like, rolled out of the car, like a mile back and we're like, oh, fuck, we got a turn back around and pick up Adel. You ran over me. You ran over me. Since we don't have riders, since we don't have riders in this sucks, I hate to, I hate to be the bearer of bad news here. We're going to have to do our fall back plan, which is riddles.

So I'm gonna read some riddles and we're gonna have things. Can you make them great flavored or something so they go down a little easier? I don't want them to taste like riddles. Can you be deep fried riddles? Paro perfect. So just like county fair food.

Where's the fair food? So this is like when my mom, county fair. Perfect, like a county fair food. Where's the fair food? So this is like when my mom can't be fair. Perfect. That's counting. Cross. This is like when my mom would put like a pill that I had to take in like yogurt or something like a dog. Like a dog. Wait a minute. When you put peanut butter, the pill, it doesn't matter. You're great. You're doing great. Give us a riddle.

Here we go. Here's your first riddle. This riddle was one that someone mailed to us and I, there's a message attached to it as well, but I will reserve the message until after the riddle. Cool. So here's the riddle. I am unique, but familiar.

I am not mean, but I make people cry. I am meant for few, but shared with many. I am breakable in the hands of the wrong people, but with the right people. I will last a lifetime. Me in high school. Is it like my heart? Aaron, you and your high school friends are gonna last a lifetime together, right? Yeah. I have like four friends from high school still. Aaron, you're in your 30s. That is a ton of friends from high school. You think so?

You think so, Aaron, that's huge. I don't like no. That'll have many friends from high school that you still have. B-D-D-D-D-D-D-7. Eight. Okay, never mind Aaron. Eight.

Never mind Aaron, you are falling behind. Yeah, I think, but like also I count my friends as high school from high school as my friends from growing up, right? Like I lived around them. Only if they were both Yeah, I think they were both. If you met them at high school then they were not your friends from growing up and then I keep it I'm like friends with four and then I like keep in touch with like three more people than that. Okay Friends with four keep your touch with three. I was like, who's the one? She had that left in the fucking rain.

Can we stop and talk about that? Who is the one? Who's the one that we're? Well, no, I three on top of, like there's three people. So it was three additional. So seven, yeah, three additional. Aaron heard you say seven and said, actually my number is seven as well.

Then I'll go ahead and say my number is seven, even though my number is zero. I'll say the one is my friend Steven from high school, who I only in met in high school. And he lives in New York. And him and I just sort of have this deal that will call each other out of the blue once every two years when something funny happens. So he's someone I always love to get a call from, but he's elusive. And then And then I was like, well, then I'll be a loosive to mother fucker. And then we play this game, okay, round and round with each other. So if it has to be, if it's every two years, and it's something funny that

happens, what level of funny are we talking that it's every two years? Like what when was the last time it got to be so good? It's got to be a 10. Aaron, you should be calling this guy like every fucking episode, basically. Ha ha ha ha ha. Well, he was. You're one of the funniest people that God did plan it.

And it's on record. He ran into a person that was a senior when we were a freshman that him and I, we had to say, crash on the same person. And we were obsessed with this guy. And he ran into a metaparty and then a funny thing to say, crash on the same person. And we were obsessed with this guy and he ran into him at a party and then a funny thing happened. And he called me for that.

And I was like, this is perfect. And we were laughing and laughing on the phone. And I was like, I'll talk to you two years, buddy. Happy 30th, I guess. And that's a high school acquaintance too. So it's like, it's like a mutual person that you both know. There's a reason for that call. Yeah.

But one time I saw, I had a funny interaction with the celebrity and I called him. Because I was like, I think he would think that was funny. And he didn't hear these stories. Can we hear these stories? You've heard them. You, I talked to you guys way more than I talked to my high school friend. You think Aaron wouldn't have told us if she had a very funny encounter with the celebrity? I think I know who it was. It was Steve Irwin. I'll say nothing more. I think the reason I'm close with a lot of my high school friends is because my high school was my graduating class was maybe like 70-some people or something. My whole high school was maybe like 350. My high school

was basically word-for-word face-for-face event-for-event. It was Euphoria. The HBO show. No, which one were you? Which character? I mean, he hasn't seen enough euphoria. Everyone thinks they're the hero of their own story, but I was a total Zendaya. I mean, that was just my vibe. That was my stick. So yep, that's me. Zendaya. I bet you're wondering how does Zend day I get into such a sticky situation. Well, I got a question.

JPC, how many friends from high school do you still have? Hey, I got a fucking question. How about what's the answer to the riddle that I read? Is it anyone even trying? Is it a heart or is it Aaron's heart in high school? Is it silence? It's not silence and it's not a heart or Aaron's heart in high school. Heart is closer than silence. I'll say.

A promise? A promise? So it's unbreakable in a secret. Aaron, a promise is very close. I would even say that this is a very specific type of promise. Oh, a promise to God. A-A-A-A-N-O-Th. A vow.

A vow. A vow. A vow. A vow. A vow. It is a vow. A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a- the wrong people, but with the right people, I lost a lifetime. Oh, nice. Okay. Beautiful. I do want to see you sing. Please. Yes. James C. Aaron. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. However, that song we are some farmers.

Oh, yeah. Wait a minute. When Jim walked on the aisle, we actually played the state farm. So our farmers are starting to write what state farms is a different company. That can't be. I would everyone at the wedding was on. Hold on, get confused. Hold on, stay far from farmers and furs.

Yeah, they always do that, that's what they play in it. I'm not saying farm was short for state farmers. Am I crazy? Uh, yeah. Um, yeah. We got to get to this thing. I'll figure this out later. I might, I honestly might be a dog this whole time.

I want to see you seeing the two of you are getting married today's your lucky day. And you both have very unique vows, very, very unusual vows. Aaron, did you just get electrocute? Aaron, do you want to look at the microphone? Aaron, just share the lick of my group. How did, how did you understand that it looked like that, but it wasn't what it was. Aaron's parents call and they're like, what was her last moment? I was like, I was calling. I said I was a dog and then I, we were talking about State Farm and then I called for a scene and she died.

Casey, is there a way to confirm remotely if Aaron licks the microphone? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 100%. She said don't look at you, I'm serious. She jumped back. Sound like you're plugging an amp in. Okay, so let's start the scene. No. Hey, I know we're not supposed to see each other before the wedding, but I just wanted to, like, I think we're on the same page with this, but my vows are non-traditional. Yeah, me too. Yeah, me too. Yeah, me too.

So I, like, I mean, I don't think it's too bad of like, how about you read your vows to me first and then get, like, just get off your chest so that by the time we're in front of people, we can really soak it in the moment. Okay, I do want to do that. I love that idea. It's just that my vows, like the voice that I have to do to do the and I love that idea. It's just that my Vows like the voice that I have to do to do the first part of my vows It's like a one and done thing. I don't think I can if I do it now I'm gonna blow out my voice for the wedding if that makes sense

So can I just well, I just maybe I'll just do it in like my normal voice, but just know that part of it is Is that okay? Yeah, I that okay yeah I'm ready I'm ready okay um marriage marriage me want marriage I like to munch the marriage munch munch munch munch munch but of course that's the sweetest chef voice I just I don't want to you don't want to do it right now yeah because of course but I just want you to know that that's what it's in and And then you can interact with your first second. Oh, yep. Hi. Sorry.

Just come over here. You look beautiful, by the way. Um, give me one second. It's me, the creature from Honeycomb. Oh, is this about the plus one? Actually, yes. I see a lot of other people got plus ones and I did not. So I don't know if I did something

We just didn't know if you were with someone because the only interactions we've ever had with you were from the commercials Obviously that brought us together. Yeah And you know, you know, we don't wear a ring so we didn't know if you had like a partner And then it's you know, it's obviously it's like expensive for the plate so we didn't know if do you have a plus one? My type of creature that I am we don't wear rings it's my ever verbal commitment oh I okay I'm so ringed on a thing in our community but yeah we had someone drop out of the wedding we had a couple people get stuck because of the tornado in the Midwest so my dad died this morning he didn't drop out of the wedding does he need to know

that honey do Do we like to know? No, just to, honestly, no. No, no, no, no. He is dead, died in a tornado this morning. He's not gonna be at the wedding. That's what's happened. Me one, simply, I'm so sorry. I'm gonna go out to my seat.

I'm just gonna be in my, my vows. Yeah. Sorry, we're just, okay, great. Um, okay, so I love your vows. They seem great. No, no. Okay, it's just a first part of it, but sure, yeah. You want, you want to keep going? No, no, no, no, great. Okay, so I love your vows. They seem great. No, no. Okay, it's just a first part of them, but sure, yeah. You want to keep going?

No, no, no, no, please, I, that took so long, so just please. Okay, so here are mine. Who I have to try not to cry. I personally believe that US Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don't have maps. And I believe that our education, like such as in Africa and the Iraq everywhere,

like such as, and I believe that they should our education over here in the US should help the US or help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we can able to build up our future such as Now don't you fucking valves Honeycomb all right honeycomb guy get out of here. Yeah, we gave you your plus blood Also, why are you wearing white honeycomb? I'm the pride You lunatic I love that that's he's so crazy. He wears white to a wedding He would he had to show up because

JPC said marriage marriage me what marriage and that's clearly an IP infringement Aaron that speech I can't remember what you're that that seems like it could have been 50 years ago or two months ago but I remember I look it up crying I feel like I've seen so I see so many funny videos now that I I I laugh but I'm not like doubled over. That was really enough in the internet that I remember crying laughing and being like, this is the funniest show I've ever seen. When she was like-

That must have been, no, it had to be in the last couple years because Kamala Harris wasn't vice president until 2020. Come on. Such as the Iraq. That is how she sounds. It was 2007 and we weren't as numb as we are now. And there was less internet. More than a combless internet. It just was a nice moment. Yeah, that's the problem.

Hey, speaking of nice moments, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that and Andrew, another couple that has invited us to their wedding.

We get so many wedding invites. Eventually, we're going to have to go to one of these weddings. We have to go to one. I'm seeing it. Is this one in Andrew's vineyard? They just mentioned that they spent countless road trips listening to Hey River and Laughing and Crying, which is why, laughing until they cry, lower laughing and crying, depending on how you want to put that.

They just wanted to let us know how important the show was to their love and then finding each other. So I guess if you're not inviting us to the wedding, but you and your spouse do enjoy the show, step it up. Step up your game. Here's what I'm gonna say, we're absolutely going. Martha, Andrew, we're absolutely going. Where is it?

It's, I don't have no idea. It's like Russian roulette because eventually, hold on, we are gonna go to one of these. Everyone's just sending us these wedding invites. Expecting us not to come. And eventually, you're gonna come and someone's gonna be out $300. Yeah, it could be you.

So if you, from this point forward, it's not just a gesture anymore. Invite us if you are prepared for us to be at your wedding. We're gonna choose, eventually we're gonna put all these wedding invites in one of those um, tumblers, like the metal tumblers, what they do for raffles. Yeah. And whoever, whatever invite we pull out, we're gonna go to and it's gonna be If it's in Chicago.

Exactly. What's the opposite of a lottery? What's the opposite of like winning? Losing. Yeah, they lose. That person loses? Is that right? Winning? Losing. Well, we would need a plus one, right? Like, we would just, we would just go the three of us and try and find the just give us three. I don't think they give us all. What if it was three of us and we got one plus one? I guess that's Casey. I guess Casey's coming to the wedding. Casey's coming to the wedding.

Yeah. Or Arnie. I feel like we bring, we get a plus two. We bring Casey and Arnie. Mm-hmm. And we have Arnie play a song. We insist Arnie gets one song. And I think there's a suit.

And here's the one thing we guarantee. No gift. We're not bringing a gift. No. No, I present to the present. No, I present at the present. No, I'm not present at the present. I also think that if you're a couple out there and only one of you listens to Hey Riddle

Riddle, that doesn't mean don't invite us. That means just fight for a spot for us. So exclude a cousin, get like an uncle's second wife out of there, just make sure that you get into a big fight when you're planning the wedding that Hey Riddle Riddle has to have a spot. If we get pick your wedding, though, I think that you have to send us an email where you explain the vibes of your family.

Yes. I want to be prepared for your conservative uncles. I want to be prepared for all the weird vibes. I want you to be like, dodge this aunt, this aunt is safe. This cousin is really funny. Like, I want to know what's going on. Here's what I'll do. I will send you the exact same questionnaire

that I send to corporate clients where it's just like, who are the big, who are the big important people at the company? Like what are some buzzwords? Yes, who's your biggest competitor? Here's what I think. I think we need to, did we ever say on this podcast on the main feed that we have an idea to do a podcast

eventually where we go to a wedding every single week for a year and record ourselves on it? I think we said that on the Patreon at all. But I don't think JPC agreed to that idea, it was only me. But I do think this sounds brand new to me. If we can just carve out 60 seconds right now, can we make like a rider for us, you know,

how cons when bands go on tour, there's a rider for the green room. Can we just very quickly make a rider for any wedding we go to? I'm going to say immediately number one, the three of us get the first dance. I will say that only seems fair. A mini horse and a loaded shotgun with one bullet. Perfect. So the whole way, the horse and a loaded shotgun with one bullet. Perfect. So the horse is holding the shotgun? Whoever's holding it, what I need it, I need it.

I'd like to take home any and all leftovers. And that includes whatever bin you're wanting. Can you? No need. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha.

Hahaha. Hahaha. Air is just going down the line, yum, yum, yum. I win. that would have been the absolute funniest cool I'll take the left over spellis walk this way Come on fellas, it's like four Grimmsman All right, my stipulation for mine. I got to know what the wedding plan is wearing because I'm wearing the exact same thing I'm gonna have so many conversations cuz no one knows me at this wedding I'm gonna have so many conversations the whole night where I'm like I'm not the fucking wedding planner, okay?

I'm not I think at my wedding a lot of people thought Aaron was a wedding planner. Is that true? Well Aaron has wedding planner Because I was a lady in a very cute suit, but also I didn't I don't think I looked formal enough I kind of looked business-y and you look really like 14 times throughout the day. People came up to me with problems. They'd be like, I don't know where to put the keystown. Do you think we should clear another table? And I'd be like, I'm not still not the wedding planner. Aaron, I'm so sorry, but I'm also so happy that happened. That was a good gift to my wedding. I didn't maybe what you've done is you've just internalized too many romantic comedies

and now people just associate that you give off wedding planner energy. You look like you have answers. It's so crazy. Like, okay, so the wedding ceremony ran a little over. Do you think we should do apps now or in 20? And I was like, cool that you're sort of coming to me. I guess I could have a opinion about this. And there was a couple of times before I realized

what was happening that I was just like, oh yeah, here's my opinion. I just decided to have a opinion about the questions they were asking me. Why not? If I ever placed in a position where I'm granted undue authority, I'll just use it. Let's just say, oh yeah, sure.

Is there any way that I can enrich myself with this situation? It rubs my fingers together. We have to do another riddle. We have to do another riddle before we hit break. Okay, so here we go. Here's a riddle. It's another one that was mailed to us,

to our, that's not a PO box, just our mailbox, I guess. We can tear up the town No need for a frown if you keep me in hand will make out red and grand or We can stay in just put me to skin Even to your hair. I really don't care genius. Some will say I can go either way But take caution you see for with death I could be either way but take caution you see for with death I could be. What am I? These are lyrics to a TLC song but I forget which one.

I was like is it a comb? I'm trying to think of it. It is a comb. It's not but it's so close. You're like right, it's a brush. Excuse me. Excuse me. Oh, I don't know. We weren't talking about you. Are you wearing a veil?

Honey, I'm getting married to honey brush. Yeah, but not today, right? Not at our wedding. No, until you're sure now. Yeah, my kind we, we, we anticipate you just you should have wore a veil and garter. What? So the fact that you can wear clothes, but you're not where what is this? Why do we invite you What are you little grandma give me give me What are you kill it? Release toxic eat ups Release toxic heat ups

My husband Turning into what a bib What a verse Hate me what honeycomb Hey, we want honeycomb Hey, Aaron. Yeah Don't I have to be a honeycomb creature the rest of the episode? Yeah. And then JBC smacks the frog. And then this is the bed that you two made.

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Go ahead and give her the Academy of Snorr. The Snorr. Academy of Snorr. You know what? Even the Academy has gnaw. Glint close to falling asleep. That's why Yeah, I got that a lot Hey, Adel, hey, I got a bone to pick with the two of you Sure, yeah, I wore the skeleton outfit just cuz I figured this was coming happy Halloween a few months early It's not yet. What is it? So you know how the two of you? I was like guys. I am always so hungry for Two of you, I was like, guys, I am always so hungry for lunches and dinners and the like. And you, jokers, told me, oh, JPC, it's okay. All you have to do is take some, you know,

American paper currency, tape it to your front door, close the door, and then wait until someone brings you food. Well, I kept opening the door and the money was gone. So I had to tape more money to my door. I think you're thinking, didn't work at all. Oh, door cash. Dore cash.

Yeah, you did dore cash. We told you door dash is the number one thing to you. What the hunk? With door dash, you'll enjoy next level convenience with delivery in the hour, making it easier than ever to get whatever you want delivered to your house, whether that be back to school supplies or whatever it is that you eat. JPC, which I don't know what you eat.

I eat back to school supplies. But wait. JPC, all your favorite retail, grocery, and convenience stores are on the app so you can chop everything, your kids, your dogs, your family, might need for back to school. And hey, personally, just yesterday, I bought some Marsha's homemade premium quality buck eyes, you know, those candies that are chocolate stuff with peanut butter. I just got those from DoorDash and they were,

they were on my porch within 20 minutes. And it's very, very dangerous because they're delicious. Did you fill your belly and your pantry? Yes. Did you fill your backpack? I did. Okay, well then DoorDash has come again for the gold. I remember distinctively the stress of going back to school and going from store to store to get all my favorite snacks and pencils and pencil cases and all the things that I needed

me and my siblings and I remember how stressed my mom was and I know that she would have loved to have DoorDash so she could be prepared before the big back-to-school day arrived. So you can stock up with go-to breakfast, lunchbox staples, and brands that you love. Don't eat my school supplies, JPC. JPC, put that eraser down. Never school. Put that trapper keeper down, your mouth is too small.

Never been told that before. Shop DoorDash to get everything you need for the back-to-school season delivered right to your door order now for stress free Back to school shopping use promo code riddle to get 50% off up to $10 value when you spend $15 or more at convenience grocery or retail stores on DoorDash that's 50% off up to a $10 value when you spend $15 or more promo code riddle don't forget JPC because you keep eating those school supplies. That's code riddle for 50% off your next order terms apply. Addle JPC keeps eating my gel pens. Thanks, DoorCash. I mean, no, that's the one.

That one didn't work. That one's bad. Hey, JPC. Uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking at all. And I'm setting up a whole website to prank him.

Um, can I just need some advice? This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website engaged with your audience. And so let me think for products that cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Edel, come here. Come here. Come here. Hey, what's going on?

I actually, I want to prank GPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell product? Did you know that with Squarespace you can have custom merch you can easily sell custom merchant create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you, saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay.

Wait, what's going on with Adel? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use Analytics. Use Insights to Grow My Business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool.

I'm going to improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my Prank website, the Prank Scientology. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. The website was for. Prank.

With Squarespace. You can connect to your store to Vedetted third party tools to extend the functionality of your website Hey jpc hey jpc. What's up, Adam? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine Dude, we got her anyway if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine head to squarespace.com for a free trial And when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain oh she's back she's back hey Aaron can we go to grandma's house wait I've been pranked but how I don't know I don't know. Okay, we're back from break.

We think that we have killed the honeycomb creatures. We just, we can't compete with the shovel. We're not confident. We're not confident, but we think, look, if, and that were me, I'd be dead. That's all I could say before we did it on a Hill Criture. We put a trash, we emptied out a bathroom trash can, put it on top of it. It started moving around so we had to put a rock on top of the trash can. And then we smashed it with a hammer.

Then we scraped the hammer along concrete, so we kind of spread it out like a nice jammer pate, and then we lit that all on fire. So we think it is gone I don't know he never blinked when we were doing any of that So I don't feel I don't feel so good And as soon as I was it was as we were done. There was a very strong cold wind And a whisper on the sky so that's it We don't know that it said that it just kind of sounded like that

You're implanting the memory now that it doesn't matter. We have to move on. Do you guys remember, we got not too long ago, but we had Lord Tim of East Nashville, send us some riddles. Yes, because I think I was really caught off guard by East Nashville.

Yeah, we thank you. So we don't remember Lord Tim, but we do remember East Nashville and Aaron's. Didn't make a memorable impact on Aaron at all. Okay, oh please you literally don't remember anything that's happened in any single episode that we've ever done ever. Wow, I don't know if that's supposed to be a slam maybe that's like saying, oh please you're literally a genius.

Okay, okay Mr. Villanare. Here we go. But Lord Tim of East Nashville sent in some more riddles. Nice. I would say some of the, well, we'll just do one. We'll do one and I think that you'll get the sense of them. And sorry, their name is Lord Ashville? This is, no, that's a really great question. Their name is Lord Tim of East Nashville

Okay, I wasn't listening. Yeah, yeah, that's you you talked about Nashville for a while then you said Asheville which is like a completely different city. Uh here we go Who got a spray tan and then invented a new smoothie Who got a spray tan and then invented a new smoothie? The me? The last month? Don Johnson. I think that this is like, I mean, there's some word, this is like a word play, riddle, and what it does is it takes two existing things and kind of smashes them up, but the first,

the last word of one thing and the first word of the other thing are the same word. Bronze or blizzard? Bronze ord? So they're both two word phrases, but the middle word is the beginning and the end. So it's, who got a spray tail? And then invented a new smoothie. Is it a person's name?

Hello. One of them is a person's name. Yes, a famous person from history. Who got a spray tan? And then invented a new smoothie. The situation. Is spray tan a clue to the celebrity? No, spray tan.

People brought history had spray tan. Spray tan is not a clue to the celebrity. Nothing in this is a clue to the celebrity. So that's tough. That a clue to the celebrity. So that's tough. That's hard not to crack. So we have to basically come up with the answer and work backwards. But no, but the new smoothie, the new smoothie is part of it. And if you get the new smoothie, you will get, you'll get the celebrity. That's why I just have to come up with a smoothie that doesn't exist yet. No, it's a... It isn't, it's a type of movie.

I don't know that this really exists much anymore. No, it's a brand. Think of like a specific brand. Oh, Orange Julius. Or Caesar. Okay. Orange Julius Caesar. Orange Julius Caesar.

Orange Julius Caesar. Yes, you got it. Wait, hold on a minute. Orange Julius Caesar. Yes, you got it. Wait, hold on a minute. Uh-huh. Orange Julius Caesar. So what's the spray tan part? Well, he's an orange Julius Caesar. Okay.

Because you got the spray tan. That's the spray tan part. But nothing about that was like, it's like what Roman leader got a spray tan. No, that's not in there. It's just, you got it. You understood how you got it. You understood how to do it.

Okay. I'm ready for another one. I got it. And can I just say, Orange Julius absolutely still around. Yeah, but they're all watery now. They got purchased by dairy queens, another like a part of dairy queen, which is a part of some other food conglomerate.

There's only like four companies anymore. So orange shoelaces, fucking delicious, are used to being the 90s. I remember they also used to sell like the canned orange, Julius and the freezer section, and my sister Kathleen would like put them in the blender

and like make us little fruity drinks. I don't know if I ever had one. Is it just orange juice? Orange juice? Orange juice? It's like orange juice with sugar and ice and something else, but boy oh boy, is it? My sister and I used to walk around the Carl Sandberg Mall and Galesburg, and then we'd get ourselves a little orange juice and just we'd be having the time of our lives.

They are delicious. Is it like a lemon shakeup? But it's kind of thicker. Oh yeah. It's got some delicious. Is it like a lemon shakeup? But it's kind of thicker. Okay. It's got some viscosity to it. Hey, I'll never know. Just like we'll all never know what that pre-caven dish banana tastes like. It's just gone from this world now and now we'll never know.

Here we go. Here's the next one. The next one from Lord Tim. What's the last thing that goes to a bug's mind when it hits the windshield of a car? It's ass, it's butt. Yeah, that would be it's butt. That's a joke that I feel like is an old joke that I've heard. Yeah, my grandpa used to tell that joke. I feel like it's a grandpa joke. Yeah, it feels like a grandpa joke. I'd like to see a scene. Addle, you are driving your car and JPC, you are a bug that has just hit Addle's windshield

Laugh is a highway Bear be bird. Oh Oh, let me oh That's oh boy turn on the windshield wipers here. Yeah, I'm really I'm just up here in the corner above the windshield Wiper. Oh, that's probably not gonna. Yeah, I'm wet now Hey, hey driver. You can see me right. I saw you just try to wait. Yeah, if you can see me driver Yes, yeah, what's up? Hey, be honest. I can't really look is it bad? How am I? How am I doing? It's not good not good huh? It's not good. Yeah

Looks like Seven of your legs are broken. Do you have your phone on you? Do you have your phone on you? Could you make a call for me? I don't. No, you don't. I don't believe. Probably couldn't call a bug.

I don't have a TV and our phones are different. Wait, okay. They're too small or they're different. They're just different. I would have assumed you would say it's too small for me. No, but it's just different. Hey, buddy, can you do me a favor? Yeah.

I'm on my way to do something really important My wife has been bugnapped so I was on my way with some of my These berries that I carry with me. Oh never mind. These are my guts. I guess the berries are gone I'm sorry. I'm just hung up on is it like 18 flea or like what how different how do I look like a flea? It's I don't knowa it's like a Nokia Crazy barrier something crazy crazy. Barry crazy. It's no closer. It's no. It's not a crazer. Oh, that's a human phone. I'm familiar with that No, it's a phone for a fly. I'm a fly Listen, I I'm gonna roll it by window here in a second, but I realize

This is pretty this is a pretty bad situation if you have anything if you have anyone you want me to say something to I just would you Yeah, if you could just go to where my wife is you're not gonna make it get some berries. I know I'm dead Yeah, I'm living on borrowed time. Yeah, hey, there must be a flag on up there that loves me because I should be dead right now You've got your guys from a school God Yeah, what do you call your God? Oh God, but I thought you'd have a different name. Okay It's just it's just it's just our My language is a different name, but I'm speaking English right now, okay? Cuz I'm a cuz let me guess you don't speak bug do you I don't I thought not okay

Sorry, even though our even though we've been in this country for it doesn't matter It doesn't matter. This is technically our it doesn't matter It doesn't it's your phone does your your the bug phone. Does it have like dual-ingle like how are you learning English? How am I learning English? I've lived in this country. Okay. It's a courtesy. I'm so sorry I yeah, so sorry sorry i didn't think i didn't think and what's all the questions about the phone what's with all the phone i don't like out of the integrand bug oh come on that's the name you that's the name of the bug who invented phones yeah that's his name this sucks

so you're telling me for every great figure in our history there was a bug that trained underneath it much like a splinter under his master I know your language I don't know your fucking history I mean who are some of your historical figures okay well the inventor of the light bulb I believe was who Thomas No, that can't be right. Oh, played by David Bowie. Thomas Edison? No, Nikolai Tesla. Well, he's not here.

Now that we have. Okay. In sector like Tesla. Nikolai Tesla. Nikolai Tesla. Nikolai Tesla. Who's that? Who's that?

Who's that? Who's that? Who's that? Who's that? Who's that? Who's that? Who's that? Who's that? Who's that? Who's that? Who's that? She flew past oh man, you try to talk fast. Go free to talk bug. You're driving too fast You flew right past her turn around. Oh, let me

Hey, you're a really bad driver. Sorry. This is a Kia doesn't have a doesn't really turn it turns on a half quarter Okay, no, you have no borders in the No, he's doing something Kia here. We go all right. Do you have like honey honey? Oh, okay. Oh my god. It's okay. You're okay. You're okay No, I'm dead. I'm gonna be with my god soon. I get it I don't have my phone on me. This guy wouldn't let me use his even though I can see it He's got a phone. I can see it's on the console right there if your phones are as big as our phones How could she not see that you don't have your phone on you your phone would be he's dying? Don't know what have you done?

What have you done? Donna, I've been back and forth with this guy all morning. He's a real asshole. He's dense, okay. And I'm speaking of it. I could be saying all this in bug right now, but I want him to know. Yeah, why are we talking bug? Talk bug? Yeah, go ahead. I bet you think that's bug. I bet you think that's bug you racist. Yeah, you fucked up. You weren't thinking you got warrior. That's not bug idiot. That's not bug I bet you thought oh, so it's like bug you don't fucking bug sounds like well You said let's speak bug and then you launched into it

I just assumed whatever follows let's speak bug is gonna be bug that's Speak bug assume whatever follows let's speak bug is gonna be bug that's man you know what really gonna speak bug yeah we're gonna be bug so we have the pilgrims what did you have oh sorry sorry that's not bug we're just going this guys thick is a god damn brick you think that's bug yeah we had the pill what'd you say pilgrims yeah pill bugbugs. That's the time of bug Pillbugs Actually worked out pretty well Any more brain any more bug busters for us Yeah, I mean we had let's see. I don't I don't want to say Christopher Clement. We had do you have a Magellan?

Who's this we you're going from Italy to Spain to like the Puritans? Oh, okay. Oh, hold on. So you're one of these like, all culture is white culture guys, huh? No, no, no, no, no. Unbugged leave a phone. No, no, no, no, hold on. He's dead, you killed him. You killed him. He's dead.

He's dead. You killed my husband. Oh, um... Should I get... I would offer you compensation, but I don't want to insult you. Do you take money? Do you take human? How much do you have on you? Let's see, I have $47. I have Venmo. I have looking as a guard. That is slush or sweet. What is that? Scene. I want to make it those bugs, those bugs were con people. That was those were berries. Sure.

We just took that guy for $47. If I may, we'll call that scene a bug's wife. A bug's wife. Oh. We're just going gonna lecture kids again. Oh, brother. That last one was a... That last one was a grandpa joke that was kind of a riddle,

but this next one is kind of a dad joke. It's kind of a riddle, but yeah. Yeah, it's kind of a riddle that kind of is a dad joke. What are you? If you tell dad jokes, but you're not a dad. Is this the answer just like Adel? No, this one is, this one is like Adel. I'm an amperivor.

This one is a. A grandpa? No, this is word play. There's like some word play in here, yeah. What are you, if you tell dad jokes, but you don't have a kid, is that what it was? But you're not a dad, you're just not a dad. You tell dad jokes, but you're not a dad. Okay, if you tell dad jokes, but you don't have a kid, is that what it was? But you're not a dad, you're just not a dad. You tell dad jokes, but you're not a dad.

Okay, if you tell dad jokes and you're not a dad, you're a pun, your pun. The answer to this one is also like a phrase that you would use. Yeah. Yeah. Your morning. Childless. It's not even, it's not even really it.

It's not an English phrase. I would say it's maybe even a French phrase. I believe. Oh, you are French. So simplify works in what way? Just so I know because I don't I feel like hey, I'm good. Terranasaurus. Um, you said it's a what phrase French. I think it's a French phrase Oh, tell dad Joe's not a dad No, a little pun a sick one. Okay. It's a this is like a pun. I think that you'll get this if you if you if you put that pun energy to work This this is all you I haven't been this is a phrase like you have rich pun. Oh, there's also means kind of like a slip up Well, I'll bomb on on a mistake. Oh, it means a fuck. Oh, okay, mistake or fuck up would be

X is in like a little one though like a little one where you like you say you know Pa be a fake parent you would be a F. Oh, Pa you would be a faux pot wow Okay, Lord Tim of East National also includes this is a little bonus. East National is not Franklin or wherever we said. Is that what we said? We said Franklin. That's the only place I know because that's where sky elum was. And if you're, if you live anywhere near Nashville, you should go check out Scott Elum at the third coast comedy club. He says that it's, it's a, it's a bit of Nashville insulated from the twing by the river.

It's the cool side. So, if you're ever in Nashville, check out East Nashville and stop by, I want to say, Lord Tim's castle. Yeah. And, you know, have a... Loveless biscuits. Yeah. Lord Tim can't deny you a bread insult if you go to his castle begging for a shelter

from the rain or something or whatever or whatever. They're okay. Interesting. Legally or whatever. Okay. We have some time. So I want to do some of these riddles. It's been a while since we've done them, but I found them recently and said, oh, we haven some time, so I want to do some of these riddles. It's been a while since we've done them,

but I found them recently and said, oh, we haven't finished these. So you guys remember when we did these farmers, Almanac riddles? Yes. And they were very tough. It's been a while. Right.

It's been a while since we've done them. So I have a few more for us. So here we go. Here's your first farmers, Almanac riddle. With letters, five, my name you spell, or Latin numerals, call them as well. My first 100 you may see, my fifth just half as much will be. My second and third will give us 4. My third and fourth will make 2 more. My whole is what we must all be to make us patterns of courtesy. This is from 1958.

Oh God, this is going to be hard. Are they numbers? That's from 1950. I just got to say, my character, Chant, is way ahead of his time because I have said recently on a magic tavern episode, my whole is whatever the rest was. My whole is chill. How is chill must be? I haven't seen him in a while.

He's okay. He's okay. He's okay. He's okay. He's okay. If you asked if these are numbers and to that, I would say yes, technically. So are these Roman numerals, because you mentioned?

No, that's a good guess. These are Roman numerals because you mentioned? No. That's a good guess. These are Roman numerals, yes. Is it the word Roman? That's five letters. With letters five, my name you spell. With letters five. Okay, so let's go back through the order because I'm going to start writing down Roman numerals.

Is it XOXOX? I forgot that the second part of this rental is, or Latin numerals, call them as well. So the second part is, these are Latin numerals. I don't get it, though. My first 100 you may see. So 100 is, boy oh boy. I will say that there is at least one of these Roman numerals that I'm like, oh, that

one, that one, we're not up to Super Bowl that one yet, so that one, that one's pretty high. Is there an X involved in a V? What, what, you know what, 100 is in Latin numeral? If I saw it, I'd know it. But I'll be the top of the dome. You don't know 100? Uh, well, okay, I can help you with this.

Okay, so, um, think about what do we know about Romans and the way that they kept their armies. Up their sleeves. Aaron, up their sleeves is exactly correct. You get a hundred points and now you can take a nap for the rest of the episode. Thanks. Okay, now you can see.

You said thanks like a news reporter in a field. Thanks Bob, I'm in a field sleeping because I got a hundred points in a Thanks JPC I'm officially mentally checked out and we're in See is it letters? So so they would have a Legion right a Legion Is it letters? So they would have a legion, right? A legion. And how many troops is an a legion? I don't know why I'm asking you guys. A sleazy.

There's also... I thought, wait, have you heard the word centurion? Sure, centurion. Okay, centurion. Centurion. Exactly, and centurion would be... 21. 100. Really? Thank you, Aaron. Wow, it's been 21 years. Exactly and century would be 21 100 real

Wow, thank you Aaron. Wow. It's been 21 years a whole century has best. Hmm. We're at the Erad. Yes, it is 100 so what would 100 be in Roman numerals see we're back to the beginning What was that whole fucking side road for see yeah? I said that like a hundred is see. I said that like four minutes ago. I Remember she did say that. Is it, um, C? You're joking. You're joking.

You're joking. Okay. Do we? And then, so you've got my first 100, my first 100 you may see. My fifth just half as much will be. So 50. So 50 would be what's half a C? What's half a C? Half a C notice 50 bucks. 50 is F. Okay, here this one will help you. My second and third will give us four.

What's four and Roman numerals? 1v. Yeah, I.V. Yeah, but it was not one. I.V. It's a nine. Okay, so you have 1v yeah, I.V. Yeah, but it was not one I.V. It's an I okay. So you have poison I.V. You have the first three are C. I.V. I.V. I.V. I. This is I.V. I. You look at for a five letter word L civil Civil you got it civil show. Fuck this for it all Absolutely not. No, I do want to see. Aaron, I think things were pretty good in 1958. No. I want to say thank you to the year 1958 for those riddles. I do want to see. Yes. The two of you are Romans back in Roman days and you are being tasked by the Julius Orn's Caesar of the time. You're being tasked with creating the Roman numeral system.

I'm bored. Can we order food? Yeah, I guess. I would have to see what time the... Just any Roman building. Just one Roman building. We'd have to see what time the... Ha! Just any Roman building. Just one Roman building. We'd have to see what time the... And then you could help me out if you just had one... Don't say Parthenon. I'm just throwing a ball against the wall.

Hey, that's a tall guy! Sorry, that's a very tall guy. I just call someone like a see-em. I call someone like a see-em. Call a see-em. Yeah, what? What, you know. I'm sorry, sir, sir.

You obviously overheard. You obviously overheard what we were talking about. You think you can order food from the Colosseum? I just said vomitarium. You can't order food from there. Of course you can order from the Colosseum. What do you think they do with the dead soldiers? Ugh!

Anyways. How long do you think this is gonna take? There's a freak! Get outta here, freak! Jesus, sorry. That's like a guy who's like eating a hot dog and you're like, you know what they put in these? It's like, ugh! Get out of here!

You're supposed to not think about it when you eat it. Hey man, you're better with all this stuff. What if I just like went out and got drunk and you finished this whole like number thing? Where are you gonna go to get drunk? Maybe one Roman building where you can go to get drunk. Oh, don't take Coliseum. Can I please go? Can I be pleased please?

Yes. Make the numbers letters or whatever. I don't know. Wait, what was that? Oh, I was joking. What you just said. Make the numbers letters or whatever? No, I should joke.

That would be so. No, it's actually a great idea. Because why invent a whole bunch of new things when we already have all these letters? Well, that'd be confusing. I feel like people are using that. New meroclis? Arithmeticly. You two have been tasked for two weeks now.

Well, two for now, but of course we'll replace that too with something new once this session is done. But you've had two weeks to come up with numeral systems, so let's go ahead and hear them starting with one and ending in a hundred before we begin our pitch And we do want to get to the numerals thing. We think it's super important No, I worth meticulous and I were we also Q to do a different part of her name and I think you're gonna really like the thing that we gave them. I'm interested.

Okay. Go ahead and put your arms above your head. Me? Yeah, you are with a particular list. Can you get on the left side? Okay. I'm gonna get on the right side, okay? And step, step, step, step, step, step, step.

Eat, eat, too. Sorry, I'm reading off your list here. Eat, too? Yeah, we don't know what the events for you. So eat equals two? Sorry, I'm reading off your list here. E two? Yeah, we don't know what the events for you. So E equals two. God. Take a look at Bugs time to die. Seek. A Bugs time to die with Steven Seagull. Look, we spent too much time on the first of these and everybody had a really bad time. So we'll get to the other ones later. But right now, Casey, can you hit us with that new voicemail theme?

It's been one week since your message me. Call the battle, Aaron and JVC. Find days and you laughed at me. It took a while till you thought that it was funny. Three days in the afternoon We custom your grandma heard us what could we do yesterday Herd what you sent me But it'll still be two days till I send it to Casey It'll still be two days till I send it to Casey It'll still be two days till I send it to Casey

Try to have a tree on and take a smile in it. Wow. Ah. Incredible. That voicemail theme comes from Mark. Mark, thank you so much for that. And I love that plug at the end of join our Patreon. Hey, if you want to get a voicemail theme featured

on the show, just send us a wave file to hrpodcast.gmail.com. We might choose yours and hey, we might even choose a voicemail message that you sent us. Casey, can you play us a message? Hey, this is Megan. It is the middle of the night and I can't think of anything better to do other than listen to Hey Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I have a question. So my friend, completely platonic relationship, he likes to mess with all of me and my friends. He really wants to fake propose to us. What do I do? How do I stop this?

How do I or how do I react to make him look like the bad guy, rather than me saying no? Love the, love the, love the invite. Love the podcast. Love you guys. Thank you so much. I think I think they were right with love the, because that's that's the vibe of our show. I think they're right in stopping themselves

from saying love the advice because you will not love the advice. You're going to hate the way we sound. All right. So you have a friend that keeps fake proposing to you and all of your friends. I know exactly what to do. He does that in public again.

Look super confused and offended and go, you're dating my sister. You're dating my sister. Yeah. And then he gets super embarrassed. That's very good. I'm, mine was gonna be after he proposes in public, you go, oh, you're proposing?

After you cheated on me one week ago, Brian, what is wrong with you? That's really good. That's really good. Mine advice is the minute he proposes and you've done some work and you've hired some actors and stuff. Obviously, obviously, that goes without saying. The minute he gets down on his knee and proposes, you have like an adidas tear away tracksuit. It can be whatever brand. Not feel. Yeah. You rip off the tracksuit. You have a wedding dress underneath. Somebody tosses

you bouquet, you catch it mid-air. It looks amazing. Suddenly a wedding dress underneath. Somebody tosses you bouquet, catch it mid-air, it looks amazing. Suddenly a priest turns around, he opens the Bible to the correct page and says, we are gathered here today. The one that is in the Bible? That page, he's on that page, we are gathered here today. I think it's like weddings 2, 14. Yeah., your family is there, his family is there because you've reached out to them ahead of time, obviously. Yeah. Because you said, I think he's going to propose. Suddenly, and there's tables and chairs and a catered meal and fondue.

And there's one of your little cousins, who's like three years old, comes down with a pillow and with a, whatever. You call his bluff and he will be forced to marry you now. Yes. That is legally binding. Now you have him where you want him because you didn't sign a pre-nope and neither did he. So you now, if you want or depending on the situation,

you now can take half of whatever is his. Here's what you do. Here's what you do. And I love that. But as a little like, you know, you put in all this pre effort into it, all that work that you did, all that work that you did, all those actors put it on a credit card, absolutely ruin your credit, destroy your credit doing this because as soon as you're married, that's his dead as well. Now he's got a pay for all this. Oh my god.

And I have, I have, I have a great idea for a rom-com now. Two friends, platonic friends that love to prank each other and one does a prank proposal and they both stubbornly keep it going and keep calling each other's bluff and then they make it to the wedding and after all that planning they spent time together and now they're actually in love and they go through with the wedding. I love it. All right. So they both think they're actually in love and they go through with the wedding. Oh, I love this. All right, so we think they're like, let's call prank puzzle and it's,

of course, it's Ryan or Chris. It's a Ryan or a Chris. It's one of the Ryan's one of the Chris's. It's a joke, question mark. Oh, are you, you can't be serious. Here's what I would really do in this situation. This is actual advice, this is real advice. Cut that person out of your life. We don't need it. You don't need that person. Yeah, that this situation. This is actual advice. This is real advice cut that person out of your life

We don't need it. You don't do that person. Yeah, that's that's that's extra. That's too extra. We don't need it This guy sounds exhausting Yeah, unless you unless you like him and then I love that for you But if you don't like it then he sounds exhausting It sounds like what he's doing no one finds funny and everyone doesn't like it And I got a thing about a person like that you just don't have to hang out with that person anymore. If you got a friend who thinks they're really funny, but nobody likes the shit that they do,

that's not a friend anymore. That's a good luck with the rest of your life. I'm sure you'll figure it out down the road. Here's what I'll say on a beat. You just sent me an email that said that JPCF. I'm sorry. That's an auto send. That's an auto send.

That's an auto send. So what's happening here is that if I don't check it with someone every 24 hours that he Most into my contact list auto sender Ella That's our fake Disney put here's what I'll really here's something So the answer is auto Cinderella Here's something here's something that I'm being a hundred percent honest about please was this Rachel? What was the name? It's too late now. We have no idea. What are the name was?

They sounded fantastic. They sounded delightful. They sounded, I don't know, early 20s or something. I don't know. But the way they're describing this guy, mate, I was like, is this guy like 13? Because that's the kind of shit that people would do at my grade school would be like fake proposed or like run up, like if they like someone,

they like, you know how when kids like each other, they like pick on them or whatever that is, it truly, I in my head, I was like, is this kid like 13 or 14? Because the person left the voicemail sounded much older. So I would say, this kid, this guy is being very immature. And this is coming from someone who's wildly immature for 40-year-old. So that's saying something. When I was that age, I had a friend who would do this. It was a very embarrassing thing to do. But you do this in public places. He would just all the sudden look at you and go, Hey, man, that's not a cool

word to use. I can't fuck with people who talk like that and then walk away from you. And it was like, good. Thank you. Hi, everyone. No, I didn't. And it just brutal. Also, I'll say, Mark, that theme song was incredible. I challenged someone staying on Bear Naked Ladies. I challenged someone to make a, if I had a million riddles theme song. Yeah, Riddlebox, a Riddlebox, you can as well. A shoebox as well.

And if you want us to know this voicemail, that is one 805 Riddle one, I'm sorry. Well, yeah, the one is in there as well, but it's 805 riddle one. There's a one on either end so you can't get confused. It's speaking of things that won't confuse us. Addle, do you have anything that you would like to plug? I want to plug. Oh, did you guys see that? Something just ran by super fast. It's kind of like a yellow blur kind of like a puffy Harry yellow blur No, he's dead

He's dead so that couldn't be him. Yeah, sorry. Sorry as a little thrown. I want to plug Just there it is again. I just thought of the corner of my eye. Somebody else Aaron Why don't you do it? Don't look at it. Just stare straight ahead. Yeah Somebody else Aaron why don't you do it? Don't look at it just steer straight ahead. Yeah Check it out the whole season three is recorded. It's really good. I'm really proud of it Check it out wherever you find pod casts JPC or add on anything to plug Nothing nothing for me JPC anything about hurry. I do have something to plug so that this week I want to plug two things the first thing is that all of us were on an episode of review review. It's another head gum show. They're also an improviser show. We love

doing that show. We did that show actually a little while ago, but that episode was stockpiled, but I think it's out now or we'll be out soon. So please do check us out on that episode of review review. I also just did an episode of Improv is Dead. My ex-roommate Tim Lines is podcast. It's another, again, it's another very fun Improv podcast. I think if you like our podcast, you would have really enjoyed. Improv Is Dead. And then lastly, I want to give a shout out to everyone. It's been a couple months or at least a month now since I did a 12-hour charity stream,

not really charity stream, a fundraiser stream for my brother's campaign. My brother was running for City Council and District 13 of Indianapolis. The primary was last week. My brother won by 12 points, he made me 12 year in coming. He is now a City Councilor elect, although it's wild because the the primary is in May and the term does not start until January. But he's running unimposed as the general in November. And I'm really proud of my brother,

but I want to give a shout out to all of the fans because I know a ton of Hey, River and River and all of the fans came to that stream. A lot of you donated money. That money, even though my brother got outspin by four times as much as he raised, he still won the primary. And a lot of that money went to helping make sure

that he connected with voters in his area. So a big shout out to everyone who helped out with that. I really do appreciate it. Aaron, that's very cool. That's amazing. I think I paid you $100 or I donated to his fund for $100 to have you write something in permanent marker on your knuckles? Yeah, I can't remember what it was, but it wasn't good to do.

It wasn't my idea. Yeah, I'm right. I didn't like it. Knuckles yeah Yeah, I'm right in like it and I did after I did after wash my hands up lunch to get that permanent marker off of and I will say I will say I wasn't planning on having so much marker fumes Just for you know 10 hours on my on my person Hey Oh, hey Jupiter Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey but I said honey, come Pacey! Clip it, clip it, Kacey Clip it! Yes! Kacey told me to be editing! I already parented the music!

Vocal created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Naboris! Make me a rhythm, rock, beat, beat, or hate, Rit, beat, or hate, beat, or hate, Rit, beat, or hate, beat, or hate, Rit, beat, or hate, beat, or hate, Rit, beat, or hate, beat it your hate, with the victim. such a riddle rental by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or the review crew and you get those out free episodes for $8 a month. See you there!