Hey Riddle Riddle - #257: Wee! The People!

Episode Date: June 21, 2023

It’s Wednesday-so we are ready to feed you some riddles and some fever dream scenes. We’ve got a not so accidental car accident, a cactus, and a scary merry-go-round operator. Oh and this is a big day because our good ol’ friend Sandy Weisz is back for Sandbox! Wee!  Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Special Guest: Sandy Weisz Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to mail us something?  Hey Riddle Riddle  6351 W Montrose Ave #267 Chicago, IL, 60634 Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531) Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. And the worst thing right here! One, two, three, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, five, four, five, five, four, five, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, five, four, five, five, four, five, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, five, four, five, five, four, five, four, five, five, four, five, five, four, five, five, four, five, five, four, five, five, four, five, five, four, five, five, four, five, five, four, five, five, four, five, five, four, five, five, four, five, five, four, five, four, five, five, four, five, five, four, five, five, five, four, five, five, five, Oh, cold paint, cold paint, cold paint. And you're starting with the eyeballs? Yeah. Can you, Aaron, can you warm up the paint in your hands or something? It's just so cold going on. No, no, it messes with the consistency or something. What your paint's cold, my paint is scalding hot. Oh, can we blend the paint?

Maybe we blend the paint, mix it. You two said you wanted to support my new hobbies. This is what I meant by that. Are you going back on your word? No. So far all you've done is paint sprite on my eyeball. Mm-hmm. The word sprite.

All right, let's see. That one says you keep blinking. Was it supposed to be sprite? Stop. Moving. Oh. Alright. If we, if we, if you want us to stop moving, you may be like put on some like different music

that's not like EDM music. It's just like really hard to stay still with this like blaring EDM music. God a rock my body. That's whatever. You guys think my art's terrible and you're not even supporting me. No, Aaron. We hadn't even said that yet. music got to rock my body. That's whatever you guys think my arts terrible and you're not even supporting me. No Aaron. We hadn't even said that yet. We were

thinking it. We were thinking it. We were texting each other. We were texting it to each other. Whatever you think. Yeah, I'm on the text. Our feelings. I was supposed to paint your likeness on a canvas, but I saw this text and I decided to put scolding hot and freezing gold paint on your bodies instead. So if you just supported me in the first place, you would be having a very comfortable time. Oh, JPC, it's a lesson. We put in our place. It's like, it's like the gift of the May-Jay because we shaved off all of our body hair and she

cut us an album. Whatever, I'm bored of this hobby, dumps paints on the floor. Let's just do an episode. Ah, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot,dles and everyone knows that if you're listening to it, if you listen to it, you'll love it. And you love it. You got to have it. Chacha, chacha. Everyone's life.

That's fine. Let's go back to the bits. Aaron, have you ever seen any of the Marks Brothers movies? Wait, JPC has news. Hold on. Hold on. JPC had news. No, Aaron, see the Marks Brothers movie. Wait, JPC has news. Hold on, hold on, JPC had news. No, Aaron, see the Marks Brothers movie. He'd have to follow this.

No, no, no, no, what's up? How's your life? JPC was your news. Got your Harper or slap out. I, from time to time on the show, I like to talk about my little wars that I'm waging, my little fights, my little battles. Uh-oh.

I'm currently in the midst, and I just went upstairs and checked in it. Full on still happening. waging my little fights, my little battles. Oh. I'm currently in the midst, and I just went upstairs and checked that it's full on still happening. I'm in the midst of a little war with the birds in my backyard who see my porch and the wooden slats above my porch as the perfect place to build a nest.

And those little guys are trying their damnedest to keep building that nest, even though I keep knocking it down. And before people say, hey, JPC, why don't you just let the birds build the nest? I got a problem with the birds, I like birds. I like the sounds that they make. I love having their nest up there.

If it were up to me, their nest would stay up there. But what the birds don't know, and they're dumb little birds. A lot. They don't know a lot. They don't know a lot. There are brains that tiny like a peanut. What they don't know is that that is not a safe place

for birds. That is actually a very good place for cats to get up to. But what the cats like to do is they like to kill the birds. But here's the other thing they know about cats. They don't clean up after themselves. What the cats do is they leave massacred bird families for old JPC to go about and be like, well, I guess the cats got to the birds again.

And I've cleaned up enough bird bodies that I've decided that I'm going to make this a honorable war. I'm going to war with the birds. So you've got full-grown old man, your cranky old man who's in a fight with the birds in his backyard and that's your update, you're an old man. You're an old man. I'm an old man who's buried too many good birds. You were too many good birds in the birds. You were in the 20s, right? You're in your 20s. I could have sworn you were young and then started. Look to your left, now look to your right.

Now everyone look up. 10 of those birds are gonna be dead. And I look up. And I look up. I looked up what like a bird's number one predator is and it's cats. Like cats are the big predator for birds It's trees and it's starvation a lot of birds actually just die because they don't have enough food

Which is a bummer here's Welcome to Addles intellectual corner. This is the lone facts all birds are dinosaurs Hmm, so corner. This is a little on facts. All birds are dinosaurs. So birds actually died when it's distinct a long time ago and they just don't know it yet. A lot of birds, they just don't, they haven't recut in the message. Are you a proponent of the birds are fake conspiracy theory? No, they're real. Okay, so you know, the birds are like real. They're all real. I misunderstood the question. They are robots. They are robots.

So you've been on this corner of the internet before. What do we know? Because here's the thing. Crows, I believe. Like there's, there's, who knows if this is real? There's a story of a farmer who like shot a crow. There's like a bunch of crows, a murderer, if you will, out in front of his plot of land.

Any shot a crow, okay. The crow died. And then every day for likeland. And he shot a crow, and the crow died. And then every day for like eight years, when he'd go outside, all the other crows would like swoop down and try and like, pack his forehead and stuff. So crows are like, we don't forget. Crows are very smart and that the billers are smart.

We know your face, we've all, we have a drawing of it back at home. Let's all get this motherfucker. And they'll tell other crows, they're like, hey, come on, get in on this. And like, pack it someone. So they hold the grudge and they remember and they're actually very, very smart.

What type of, do we know what type of bird this was, JPC? I don't know. I clean up a lot of bird bodies. And it's pretty hard for me to check the type of bird. Did you check the tag? Check the tag. What is, I'll tell you right now. Check the number on it.

A lot of these guys. The bottom of its foot, the robot. A lot of these guys are, I'll tell you right now. Check the number on the bottom of its foot. The robot. A lot of these guys are in sign out. A lot of these guys have been through the rigour. So I don't exactly know what type of birds they are. I would say the birds that I have found have been dead type birds. And I think dead birds tell no tales. So I don't think that they're going to remember me.

Like that phrase. Oh, so everyone's good. It seems like. That's the big update. Like that phrase. Oh, so everyone's good, it seems like. That's the big update, everyone's okay. Great, look. Aaron, what's going on with you? Nothing. Huh.

You did a little pirouette when you paused. Yeah, did it do me. So the GPC's big bird war, not looking too stupid now. You guys have nothing going on. I really got nothing going on. Oh, it's really a bird war if you're just cleaning up their bodies. I don't think that's a war.

They've been to war. I'm, you're more like, ooh. If someone's like, hey, I'm gonna go into the factory and like make the tank bullets. You're like, well, you didn't go to war. You're helping, you're part of the home front. I'm buying war bonds.

I'm doing my part for the boys and blues. You want peacecore? Oh, JPC. Coming into the pit of the house. Just, this for my exam, I'm going to do lists. I'm going to text Mariah, are you okay? 80% more than I already have. Okay, some more, she gets more.

She can't keep getting these texts. I'm paying by the text for these things. I don't know, the text for these things. Kick it around her husband's in a fight with a war with some birds. So you know what? I wouldn't hurt to check in with her. It's worse. The 10 cents. Here's the thing. Mariah's on team no more dead birds. She supports. She supports the good cause. But also she's not going out there cleaning them up. Okay, let's be honest. I do love Mariant like a book club and they're like, did everybody reach chapter four?

And she's like, I'm sorry, everyone. She has a little breakdown. I'm sorry, everyone. My husband's at war with dead birds. Somebody takes the needle off the record. They're playing. Truly record people all the time my grandparents don't they'll say shit like, oh, Chicago is so violent. They're playing. Truly? A-a-a-people, all the time my grandparents don't-they'll say shit like, oh Chicago is so violent. They're wrong.

Unless they're talking about what's happening with the animals. Because truly it is, there is so many dead and dying animals in my neighborhood. It is insane. We're all dead and dying. There's a lot of outdoor cats that are like half-fair old cats. And I gotta say, hard life for those guys. And the life expectancy, not long. They're always getting into scrapes and scripts.

It's a, it is a mess. It makes sense, I am. How do I just fund them over to you $100 so you can put an industrial size amount of bird feed in JPC's backyard during the night? Oh, please. Yeah, great, great. Thank you.

But by the way, the birds have nothing to complain about. It is a feast in my lawn. They're always in that lawn. It's beginning to do shit to the birds. And I have no the way the birds have nothing to go play about it is a feast in my lawn They're always in that lawn and spaghetti doesn't do shit to the birds and I have no problem with the birds I just want them to build their homes to the safe place I need high-rise bird condos. You know, and I hate to say this Aaron. I'm so sorry. We'll get to riddles in a minute You know JPC the birds were here first Okay, I just I just need you to know that they don't know me me better. They don't know it's your yard to them. It's nature.

It's their dream. Is nobody listening to me? He hates the birds. He's trying to say that he hates the birds. I'm gonna start training the birds. I'm gonna start training them. I'm gonna start giving them little weapons. Hey, train them to fight the cats.

I got no beef with the birds. No. No. If you could try to burn a fight a cat, you've saved a bird's life. Teach a bird to fish. Well, if I had a cat's life over birds, I have to say. So I'm going to teach them to fight JPCs.

Honestly, if the birds and the cats teamed up to be against me, I would be happy with it because it means that they're not out in the streets fighting each other. The Kurds. Huh? All right. The cats and the birds. Casey, play the Molly's Riddlebook theme please if you could. It's time for...

These Riddlebooks. Alright, we are back. With some Riddle DD riddles no this section of the book is called we the people and I don't know That means W H E E Comma the people exclamation point. Well, so we'll find out together what that means What's the best thing to take when you're run down? A break? A car.

Oh, nevermind. I added by a car, because that's what it's implying. What's the best thing to take when you're run down? A chill pill. A last willed testament. Let's see a scene. Change check. Uh, Adel, you have just been hit by a car that JPC is driving.

And when JPC gets out of the car to see if you're okay, he's basically just telling you to calm down and relax. And it's not a big deal. Hey, buddy, did I nick you there? Four to reverse, four to reverse, four to reverse for the reverse for the reverse quick quick quick quick It does both and it doesn't both real fast. Oh, oh, I'm still on you. I'm still on you I can't oh ease an off you oh I couldn't see I'm sorry buddy. Did you hit my card? Did my card hit you? I can't I can

You've been me over I Fan you a fan you, I fan you over. Tell your wife, I fan you off, you little hot buddy. Tell your wife, I love her. Tell your wife, I love you. Tell my wife, you love her. Yes. Oh, I love her.

And I'm having a fair with your wife. Did you know? Oh, no, buddy, you having a fair with my wife? No. No, I had no idea. That's terrible. It seems like you know the tell your voice It's like you know you work here on the ground. Yeah, you work here on the ground I couldn't know that right I couldn't figure out where you worked and drove to your work To himself secret try and tell secret. You're doing cell secret? What do you have to say?

Your daughter is yours, but your son is mine. But, well, can't take it with you. So, guess he's mine now. Guess he's mine now. Anyway, walking off, buddy, you're fine. You're, yeah, hurt. I thought that was a dothrattle, but it wasn't. It was a regular breath.

I might regular breath something like dothrattles. it wasn't. Is a regular breath on my regular breath, son, like dothrattles, now kill me, kill me. Oh, buddy, you know I can't do that. Even though I couldn't have did already. Anyway, you're fine. You're fine. Walk it off, okay? Hey, who's my champ? Who's my champ?

I don't know. Your son, your son is my champ. Come on. See? It's all fair. Come on. Come on. And? It's all fair. Come on. Come on. And this next rental actually need one of you

to explain to me, even though I'm very smart. Where's the first one? Oh yeah, no, you didn't solve the first one. No. Mrs. Aquare. This is really awkward. How do I get out of this? Did we solve the first one?

I actually just got a text, and I have to go home. Huh, you're right now. I'm now, you're, my house is sick and I actually just go. What does it have? My house just got over something. What does yours have? A cold. Oh, just in the heat on.

Yeah, I have to do that at home though. Can't do it remotely. So have a good run. Have a good run. Okay, what's the best thing to take when you're run down by a car? Best thing to take would be, okay, so you run over.

You can tell you. Okay. The license number of the car that. Yes, take down the license plate number. Take down the license plate. Yeah, I screw it. Yes. And then you have a novelty license plate as a reward.

Okay. My novelty license plate says KF7146. Cool. What a novelty. Okay, explain this to me. How can you fall over 40 feet without getting hurt? Can I tell you the answer and then you explain what it means? Hold on, let me, let's see.

I don't think so. How can you fall over 40 feet? So what this is, Aaron, is if you have a yard and you rake all the leaves into a long pile in the autumn, then you can jump in that pile, crawl for 40 feet, being a bingo, underfoot skeleton. Can you say it one more time, Aaron, because I think I have an answer. How can you fall over 40 feet without getting hurt? So it's over 40 feet. It's not like 40 feet exactly. See, I don't know. I can't help. it's over 40 feet. It's not like 40 feet exactly.

It's over 40 feet. I can't help. It says over 40 feet. Per shoot, bungee jump. My answer would be to fall like 50 feet because the first 40 won't hurt you. It's the hitting the ground that hurts you. Oh no, I get it.

I rewrite it and now I understand it. Is that what it is? No, no, no, no. It has nothing to do with it. I get it now, but I get it now. How many it. Is that what it is? No, no, no, no, no, it's not, and I has nothing to do with it. I get it now, but I get it now. How many fall over 40 feet without getting hurt? Feet in this instant, think of feet as feet like on your, that's you someone too.

How can you fall over 40 feet? Because you're a nerd in fucking high school. Crowds are, every crowd is a living hell. Move from the front to the rear of a crowded bus I Big god, I didn't feed out of the aisle. I don't see a scene The two of you are on a let me make up a bus. We'll say greyhound is a made-up name just so we're not can't get sued Keepers else safe

I'm greyhound bus And Aaron you have just got on you have just gotten onto the bus, and you've come across a JPC who's getting a little too comfortable in his seat. How did he... Um... Sir? It's just...

It's just on the... I'm just drying out the towel, so you can sit on the seat, but the towel is wet. But it's, the seat's open, is what I'm saying. Did you bring a kitty pool onto a bus? I don't know. This was, this must have been here from the last guy. I feel like- I'm wearing a suit. I'm a businessman. I'm wearing a suit. I wouldn't wear a kitty pool on a bus. Yeah, and a snorkel.

And then you have a towel. Yeah, well, I have a scuba business. I have a scuba business. But anyway, just yeah. I'm pregnant and I would like to sit down and this is the last seat and you sort of have this whole little fun in the sun set up back here. Prignant people can scuba as well.

That's not a concern for pregnant. In a kitty pool? I've checked it. I'm a scuba, I have a scuba business. Yeah, you can, you can, you can, wait, three. Do you want to rent a snorkel? What's that? Are you trying to rent people snorkels at the back of this Greyhound bus and have them snorkel in a kitty pool? I'm earning a legitimate business on a Greyhound bus where people can use the kitty pool that's pre-installed, I think.

I think this is a feature of facet of socks. Praising dogs, kill, get your pregnant, next stop. Oklahoma. Oh, Oklahoma, that's good. We're going to pick up a lot of people there who really like pools. Sir, what's your name? My name? Hmm?

You never gonna believe this. My name is Jiffy Loub. Okay, yeah, that's what it says on the pool, the side of the pool. If lost, please return to jiffy lube parentheses, the person parentheses. Is that the parentheses on there as well? Oh boy. Okay, yeah, well, uh, so basically I think I have squatters rights on this pool, so it's like I've been around it for so long, I must have written that down on the pool, because now it officially is mine, but it wasn't, of course, when I found it because I've been on this bus for a while.

You just got on. Can I sit in your seat and then you stand maybe or find another seat? I would love to let you sit where I'm sitting but this is a lifeguard station. So are you lifeguard certified or you CPR ready? Sure. You should by the way get CPR certified

before the baby comes. Okay, thank you for telling me, Hanyng. Did you move where the baby comes? Can I please have your seat, sir? Look, yes. You're pregnant. You need a place to sit. I have a seat on this bus.

You're more than welcome to use it. I do have to charge you for the class, though. Because you're just a drop in seat. It's a drop in seat. Okay. But I got to charge you for the class. class though, because you just, it's a drop in me. It's a drop in me. Okay, but I got to charge you for the class. We tore down Greyhound buses and we lifted up Jeffy loop. I'm actually going to go.

I'm going to backtrack a little bit back to the birds in the beast section, because there's a page that I didn't read, and I actually kind of like this riddle. So I'm just, we're backtracking for one second. What do you do if you keep finding dead birds in your tree? Wow. I love a backtrack. What did the near-sided porcupine say when it backed into a cactus? Mom?

Yeah, the right track, that counts. I'd say that's right. You have to track that account. I'd say that's right. That girl, you look good. Why don't you back that ass up? Use a big five-wobbing. What's your bag that had? Pardon me, honey. Watch out, prick.

Pardon me, honey. I think she's seen. I'm just as flirtatious. JPC, you are Adel's spouse. And Adel, you just confused a cactus for your spouse and you've been talking and interacting with a cactus and this is your spouse finding it. Oh, Denise, sorry I'm home late. Um, I didn't expect you to be sitting on the stairs with a glass of wine.

Is, um, is whatever we eat for dinner ready? Denise? Denise? Denise, I'm sorry. Clearly, you know. You saw maybe someone told you maybe the cactus came to the house. I don't know. I don't know if she's calling here or what? A letter's perhaps.

I'm sorry. It's nothing. I backed into her. Okay. And then maybe backed into her again. And then maybe it became like a Tuesday night thing, but that's it. Denise.

Denise, say something. Denise, why are you just standing there with one hand slightly higher than the other that's kind of raised as well? You look green with jealousy. Your little needles are everywhere, Denise. Because I'm pissed off at you, Robert. Seeing.

Uh, brother. Right, one more bird's in the beast. Actually, two more birds in the beast. Sorry, I'm going back to that. Disloven cactus. What? They're going to get like, out. That's fuck that out.

Fuck it. Ow, ow, ow, ow. What three keys have legs, but won't open doors? They're like, Ouch! That's fuck that out! Fuck it! Ow! Ow! Ow, ow, ow! What three keys have legs but won't open doors? What three keys have legs, but won open doors? It's like a key of, okay? A key of cocaine. A key of cocaine.

A key of cocaine. Key, Florida keys have legs, Florida keys, keys, piano keys, what can you get? You find this in the bird in the beast? Oh, I have it. Uh-huh. You said what three keys? Uh-huh. Uh, GPC, do you know the mom and dad of Alicia keys the other name? Uh, Mr. Isis. What about, what about uh, Storky? Uh, what are other animals that?

Yeah, they have a key of the day. Look, a Storky. Wait, hold on. Storky What are the animals that have a key of the day look a Storky? Wait hold on Storky is Storky like the babies Storky I want to do what I see I see No man JPC you are a Stork delivering a baby

Aaron you are a I would say a 1940s New York person who calls Stork Storkies and let that influence the rest of the way you probably talk. Okay, we're timing out your contractions and you are, you still have a little ways to go. Do not worry, I'm gonna get this baby. Hey, you Storkie, I was promised a baby by this time. Man, the baby is coming. I am a professional. We will. I mean, everything is looking good. It just takes time. You can't force these things.

The baby will come when the baby is ready. I asked my dude, Mr. Storky, and it was a great dude, Ate. Turn back the clock. Give me the baby. Doonate, are there more if I can educate a guest, but again, the baby comes when the baby comes. Your water hasn't broken yet. You're. You're. You're delivering this baby comes. Your water hasn't broken yet. You're...

You deliver this baby right now, you storky. Ma'am? You stork. You little dorky, storky, dork. Ma'am? Dork! Ma'am, please. I've been called every name in the book by people just as upset as you.

It does it further and more. Loser. Loser. I know my life is good. Okay! I know my life is good, okay? I know my life is good. A lot of, a lot of, a lot of Stork like me are not doing as well. I dress up.

I dress up. I dress up. I dress up. I dress up. I dress up. I dress up. I dress up. I dress up.

I dress up. I dress up. I dress up. I dress up. I dress up. I dress up. I dress up. I scrubbed up I scrubbed up forget it. I don't even want it go away Ma'am you can't you're nine months pregnant it plus you can't you can't just walk out of the hospital You're gonna have this baby. I'm sorry. Hey rump that means enough Excuse me

Sorry, I was just walking by when I heard somebody say they don't want a baby. My name is Jonas baby I was just walking by when I heard somebody say they don't want a baby. My name is Jonas Baby No, hold on. What do you do about this? Not you take that baby your name is Jonas baby eater. That's the fake name that you obviously came up with Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit. Okay, which way this is locked okay? Windows are painted over. Yeah, yeah, we painted over the windows of this hospital. This hospital, by the way, it's not a good hospital.

You don't want to be in this hospital. And folks, if you enjoyed that scene as much as I did, please check out tpublic.com where you can find our new shirt, turn back the clock, give me my baby. What are my favorite phrases ever spoken here as a little? If you wake up in the middle of two lions, three elephants. Wiccup in the middle.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, get in the middle. Yes, JPC, what do you want? We truly didn't get the keys one, right? Did we get that? Oh god, this is so awkward. Oh my god. Oh my god. Hold on, you're not we get that? Oh, this is so awkward. Oh my god.

Hold on. You're not calling in house sick again, are you? Aaron, do you even care what the answer to these riddles are? Do you, does, you even give a shit about this? Looks me dead in the eye. Well, I say no. Oh my god. That's sad.

Munkies, donkeys, and turkeys. You turkeys. I was right with Storky. No, you were not. But you were the right in the middle of the woods a lost alone in hungry Just as quick as possible who's out of the three of us monkey donkey turkey. I think it's pretty obvious Yeah, yeah, I think it's really obvious. Okay, I'll say it. Let's say who we are on three. Okay, well hold on. Monkey, donkey, and story. Turkey.

Turkey. Monkey, turkey, we're gonna say who we are on three. Yeah, one, two, three, donkey. Turkey. Can you both say donkey? I said donkey. I was gonna say monkey, but then I thought. I think you're a monkey.

You're a monkey. I thought that I'd done two. Yeah. Okay. Addle your doneness. Yeah, my tail keeps falling off. Mm-hmm, your tail keeps falling off. My ponytail.

Sorry, I got a good point. I got a good point. I got a good point. And I'm way taller and bigger than you think, and then you see me in person, and you're like, ah. Terrifying. Yeah, you have a weird turkey thing with where you're from. And you keep getting pardons here and somehow I don't know.

You should be tucked away. Keep it given me and don't eat me. All right. If you wake up in the middle of two lions, three elephants, four leopards, five tigers, and five tigers, what should you do? Say in a portrait. In a portrait. You should pat yourself on the back because, buddy, you're a zookeeper. You did it.

No. You finally made it. You're the world's zookeeper. The answer. If you wick up in the morning and your next flight, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait It doesn't matter the quantity of each of my elephant leopard tigers, what you should look in the mirror cuz you're fucking Noah No You should Write a negative review of the bed and breakfast cuz you didn't know it was a hunting lodge You think hold on. Yes. You think I hunting lodges. That's the animals thing

No, but they have the they have the trophies. They the mounted stuff the trophies in the hunting lodge the answer trophies It's stop the merry go round and get off Whoa, that's a good one. That's actually a good one. I like to see a scene. Oh I don't know JPC you're on a merry go round, but JPC you're pretty afraid of animals, so you're a little scared Okay, everyone hands inside of the merry-go-round at all times. I will say, it looks like everyone here is mostly children, mostly children.

These things are really fucking scary, okay? When they get going fast, they're gonna go up and down as well. Fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking. All right, everybody just get over it. You're about to grow up really fast today because this is one of the most terrifying things that I've ever experienced and I'm an adult man, I'm 51 years old.

Can I sit on the hippo, mister? Oh, okay, you got a death wish. That is the most dangerous land predator in the world. And it's gonna move fast and it's gonna be moving up and down. Actually, you need to... What if the horse is, mister? Everyone take a look at this little girl.

This is a dead girl. She is going to die because she wants to get close to a horse that's going fast up and down. Stupid, stupid little girl. Mr. it seems like there are animals and then there's also clearly just like man. Are you trying to make a commentary on like, man? I asked him, I begged him to do one that I'm not scared of.

And what do they do? They made out of plaster one of the scariest looking man I've ever seen in my life. It looks like he's melting his face. He looks like you. Yeah, looks like you. No. What? No. There's also a mosquito. why is there a mosquito?

There's not usually mosquitoes on a mosquito kill more people than anything else if you ever heard of malaria No, I have a part of it guess what it's gonna be all your desert if you oh very funny very funny Is she my wife because I got served divorce papers while everyone was kidding on a carousel Ha ha ha we got a regular comedian. What's your name comedian? Because I got served divorce papers while everyone was kidding hard as a carousel. Ha ha ha! We got a regular comedian! What's your name, comedian? Uh... Don't tell him. Tell me!

What's your name, Mr. Comedian? Jonas Baby Eater? Jonas Baby Eater! Can I make fun of Jonas Baby Eater? More like... Jonas Baby Eater. More like... Hold on, Jonas Baby EEater, don't...

Stop. Oh, you're being served again. What's in that packet? What's in that packet? What's that? Okay, hold on, shut up! Shut up! Let me open it up, okay?

It's obvious that the same guy didn't have to ask my name because he knows that he just served me with this one. Are you getting double divorced? Oh, I'm getting sued by Taco Bell again. Fuck! Oh, god. Why? Are you getting double divorced? I'm getting sued by Taco Bell again. Fuck. Oh, god. Why? Okay, I changed my name to Nacho G's Gordita four years ago.

Now, I never bids you a Taco Bell. Yes, I did. Apparently that's been a mid-year out of for a long time. I thought it sounded like a cool name. What also looks like one of these carousel animals is the Taco Bell Chihuahua that was quietly swept under the rug about nine years ago. No, no, that's an original, that's an original creation. It says Taco Bell in his forehead.

Shut up, you're one of the most ungrateful kids I've ever, I've ever kidnapped. You are some of the most ungrateful kids. See? See? See? Of course course of course a kid that for takes kids to an embankment amusement park okay where he's getting served divorce papers they know where he is some of these make no sense I'm having to skip so many Aaron can I blow your mind yeah the reason they don't make sense is because we're never hearing the answers That's so funny And because I'm dumb and I keep forgetting to read the answers

Okay, but no these are all like so from the past and I don't understand. I'm like they're so dumb Okay, doesn't matter. Okay, okay, okay, okay For men fall into the water, but only three of them get their hair wet. Why? One of them is Bail. Bald. Yes. When is Bail just? Pia, this is Miamni. John Melchow, it's famously bald.

It's famously bald. Who's the most famous bald person that we can... The rock in the world, yep. Bail. Bail. Bail. What kind of American players prove when they won the English bridge championship for years running?

London Bridge was not falling down. Yeah. We are both Donkeys. Wow. Wow. Okay. I want to see a scene. You, Adel, are going to be an American bridge player. um, and Aaron, you're gonna be the best bridge player in London, and, uh, the two of you are squaring off against each other, and you're playing bridge.

Well, well, well, if it isn't my arch nemesis, the Luddite of London. Chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, you... Fuck. The English entertainer. You with your British accent and me with my transatlantic accents? Well yes, let's talk about play. They have to deal the cards and see who matters up and who sees Americans. Let's see, of course, we all...

No, no, sir, we all know the rules. Here we go, let me shuffle the deck once, twice, three times a lady, and... B-R-I-D-G-E. How many cards do you see? You're cheating. I can see cards falling out of your sleeves. You're absolutely ridiculous. No, those are backup cards.

Those are my cuff cards. Uh, okay, let me pick these up and, uh... Shuffle once, twice, three times a lady, and and B-R-I-D-G-E. How many cards do you see? Tap the deck, tap the deck, slap each other on the butt, pat, pat, dance, give a cat a kiss, kiss upside, bake a cake. How many cards do you take? My cards are wet. I didn't even watch you've done to them, but they're so... Oh, she's got a wet hand. That beats me. You truly are the champion of the book. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha She gave a cat a kiss. See. Uh. I could have watched.

I could have watched the two people who, do you, either one of you know how to play bridge? Yes. Of course. Here's what you do. Okay. You park your car. You go to a small town.

Any, any town USA, small town has to be a small town. I did. You park your car in the middle of a bridge. Okay. You put baby powder over the back hood. What do you call that? Trunk. You put baby powder over the back hood. What do you call that trunk? You put baby powder over the trunk. They call that the boot in England.

Well, okay. You put baby powder in trunk. Then you get, you go away from the bridge. You give about two hours, you come back and there'll be hand prints in the baby powder. And that's how you play bridge. Okay, interesting, because that's not the way you played it in the scene.

So now we have two competing ways to play Bridges. No one knows to beat around that. No one knows if you're a truth teller or not. I don't think I know how to play cribbage. I don't think ever seen bridge being played or played bridge or myself. Is it a trick game? Do we think you take trash when playing bridge? I'll go go it. Is it a trick game? Do we think you take trash when playing bridges?

I'll go go it. It's gotta be, most card games are trick taking games, right? You could, that, that's about it, maybe. Yeah, you could bridge, got hearts, cribbage. Cribbage is trick taking. Fine, three, ooh, friendly co-players. Bridges a four player game, Casey played in season two. So you're significant on the run of a buff for purpose of no shooting table. Okay.

Significant other for each purpose for purposes of notation each set of the tables given the name of a cardinal direction. That's the players in a bridge game are commonly referred to as North, South, East and West. North and South play on a team against East West. I love when you say I like that. I'll never get over that. Bridget played with the standard 5th shoot card deck. There's no sign why you have to do this. So the entire dealt deck is dealt out each hand. After the deck is played, players make bits. The final bid determines the importance of each suit as well as the overall goal for each deal

Feel like I'm reading in a different language right now deals are then played card by card and 13 sub rounds known as Tricks the goal of the game is to win seven or more tricks on each deal in order to score points Deal continue until one team accumulates a Predetermined number of points what score Scoring just a very shallow style. Definitely game. Deal the card. I'll listen to all of that and I'll say this,

that simply won't work. Whatever you need. If you try to do that, it's not gonna work. Okay, okay, 13 cards each and then you sort your cards by rank and suit. So aces are high in bridge followed by King's Queens jacks tens final spot number one two. Okay, should we just try to place in bridge? Yeah, okay, okay, this looks hard. I don't conchuffle. Let's all grab our seats and we get others.

Okay, okay, sorry, okay, sorry, sorry, okay, now I'm dealing out the whole deck. Okay, okay, now we're looking for, let's start looking around the room for tricks. Okay, I got this. I got this CD. I got, I got your nose. Wait, so tricks rabbit. Adults been the tricks rabbit the whole time.

And I would have gotten away with the two if you won for your meddling kids. Okay, one more red one, then we'll go to the other side. Is that what I'm like? Yeah, that's about it. How can you make pants last? You make pants last. Don't buy them at H&M.

That's a really great point. They make bad pants. Oh, don't wash them. Put them in the freezer. No. Levi's. By Levi's. How do you make pants last?

Oh, just don't wear them. Make the shirt first? Yeah, make the first. Wow. That's first. Well, that was fun. I don't have the old-timey brain that Adel has. Adel gets it, baby, he gets it.

Yeah, I understand. But it's fun. Much like Bridge, do you mind looking up the term, the definition for fun? I just wanna make sure I had it, because you seem pretty certain about it, and I'm not sure I had fun. The opposite of to make sure I had it because you seem pretty certain about it and I'm not sure I had fun. The opposite of Hey Riddle Riddle. Huh. That takes out. Good SEO for us though.

Let's take a quick break and we'll be right back with more fun. Hey, JPC, you know how I love he looks sleep. I love that he looks mattress brand. Yeah. Spits nights sleep in my life. I know not everyone is on board yet. So I secured a word winning sleeper. Marl sleep. She's right behind that door, Merrill sleep. Wow, she won the golden pillow for best sleep. That's right. Hey, Merrill. Hello, yes, hello, yes, I'm very well rested after sleeping on my midnight looks. Helix mattress. Good to see you. Good to see you. Your naps are stunning. I just wanted you to tell people about Heelix sleep,

how the Heelix lineup offers 20 unique mattresses, including the award-winning Luxe collection. The newly released Heelix Elite Collection, a mattress design for big and tall sleepers, even a mattress made just for kids. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah, and Heelix knows there's no better way to test out a new mattress than by sleeping on it

in your own home. That's why they offer a 100-night trial in a 10 to 15-year warranty to try out the new Helix mattress. Who do you, who, who did I think you were? I don't know. I'm Meryl Sleep and I know everybody is unique and everybody sleeps differently. I just recommend taking the Helix Sleep quiz and you can figure out what mattress is right cheap for you. I don't know if you're a side sleeper,

or you sleep hot or cold, or if you sleep like me, Merrill's sleep. Yeah, choosing the right mattress is a real Sophie's decision, but don't just take our word for it, or Merrill's sleep's word for it. Helix has been awarded the number one mattress picked by GQ and Wired Magazine.

It was even recommended by multiple leading chiropractors and doctors of sleep medicine. Shh. I don't think I thought you were the person that you were. Oh, she's doing it. Who are, what a performance. Heelix mattresses all come with a 10 to 15 year warranty, depending on the model.

Wow. Stunning. Yeah, look, he looks as offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to helix sleep dot com slash riddle. This is their best offer yet, and it will not last long with helix better sleep starts now. Go ahead and give her the Academy of Snorr.

The snorr Academy of Snorr. Give me the Academy me a snore. Glint close to falling asleep. That's why I got you. Oh yeah. I got that a lot. Hey, Adel, hey, Adel, hey, Adel, I got a bone to pick with the two of you. Oh.

Sure, yeah, I wore the skeleton outfit just because I figured this was coming. Happy Halloween a few months early. It's not yet. What is it? So you know how the two of you, I was like, guys, I am always so hungry for lunches and dinners in the like and you, jokers, told me, oh, JPC, it's okay. All you have to do is take some, you know,

American paper currency, tape it to your front door, close the door, and then wait until someone brings you food. Well, I kept opening the door and the money was gone. So I had to take more money to my door. I think you're thinking, didn't work at all. Oh, door cash. Dork cash? Yeah, you did dork cash.

We told you door dash is the number one thing to you. What the hunk? With door dash, you'll enjoy next level convenience with delivery in the hour, making it easier than ever To get whatever you want delivered to your house whether that be back to school supplies or whatever it is that you eat JPC, which I don't know what you eat. I eat back to school supplies JPC all your favorite retail, grocery and convenience stores are on the app so you can chop everything Your kids your dogs your your family, might need

for back to school. Hey, personally, just yesterday, I bought some marshes homemade premium quality buck eyes, you know, those candies that are chocolate stuffed with peanut butter. I just got those from DoorDash and they were on my porch within 20 minutes and it's very dangerous because they're delicious. Did you fill your belly and your pantry? Uh, yes. Did you fill your backpack? I did.

Okay, well then DoorDash has come again for the gold. I remember distinctively the stress of going back to school and going from store to store to get all my favorite snacks and pencils and pencil cases and all the things that I needed me and my siblings and I remember how stressed my mom was and I know that she would have loved to have door dash so she could be prepared before the big back to school day arrived. So you can stock up with go to breakfast lunch box staples and brands that you love don't eat my school supplies JPC but that a race or a but that trap or keep her down your mouth is too small. Never been told that before. Shop door dash to get everything you need for the back to school season delivered

right to your door. Order now for stress free back to school shopping. Use promo code riddle to get 50% off up to $10 value. When you spend $15 or more at convenience, grocery or retail stores on door dash, that's 50% off up to a $10 value. When you spend $15 or more promo code riddle, don't forget JPC because you keep eating those school supplies. That's 50% off up to a $10 value. When you spend $15 or more, promo code riddle, don't forget JPC, because you keep eating those school supplies. That's code riddle for 50% off your next order, Terms Apply. At all, JPC keeps eating my gel pens. Thanks, DoorCash. I mean, no, that's the one. That one didn't work. That one's fat.

Hey, JPC. Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Addle, and I'm setting up a website to prank him. Um, and I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Addle.

Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website engage with your audience and sell anything for products that cut into time all in one place all on your terms. Hey, Edel, come here come here come. Come here. Hey, what's what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like is there like a online store? Like it set up on my website to sell products?

Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merchant, create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production, and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Um, wait, what's going on with that? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics, use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from.

That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website, the prank site, too. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for.

Prank. say what the website was for. I can't remember what the website was for. Frank. Square space. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase

of a website or domain. Oh, she's back. She's back. Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait. I've been pranked.

But how? I don't know. Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. Hahaha. Hey, Rick, oh, Rick. Oh, come on. Who left the door open? And why is the studio full of what is this?

What would you call this? Oh, this is like a rock. This is like, what is this? Free glass, right? Free glass? You can still get your glass. Dirt. Yeah, like free. What is this? Free glass, right? Free glass? If you can still get you. Dirt. Yeah, glass is the sequel to this.

Oh, ah! Oh, sorry. Hey, it's me. Oh. The loose glass is talking. Is that, say me? It's hard to see right through me. Oh, it's John Lennon. It's a sandbox.

Guys, it's a sandbox. Hey guys. I'm back. Sorry, Sandy, could you shut up for a second? We're trying to celebrate that there's a sandbox guys hey guys i'm back sorry sanny could you shut up for a second we're trying to celebrate uh... that there's a new sandbox guys is a sandbox yeah sorry sanny go ahead you're saying no i'm saying this is glass this is the sequence of the pro

it's glass the prequel glasses the prequel to this is that i guess this that i'm breakable but i'm breaking the break the break the game no oh sorry I breakable. We'll call this a break. No, it's boiling. No, sorry. I have some of us are going to the movie theater 10 years ago tomorrow, so please does boilers How y'all doing? It's been a while Pretty good not what not great Can we

Look a little three little bears thing three little bears going on? No, it's the three little bears. Three little bears. They're all small. Adults feeling not well. Aaron's feeling okay, which guess that means I must be feeling my porridge. And I guess I feel like a girl with blonde hair and braids. That's me.

Yes. Yes. Absolutely. We'll just leave that there. That's what we'll say about that. And we all feel like make a love to some of these sweet, sweet pussies. So, Sandy. Wait, I don't remember the part of the fairy tale.

No, yeah, it's the grip version. Read it again. You don't think Mama Bear and Papa Bearer even though they're tiny little, we're making sweet, sweet love. That's why they're little bears. That's why they're little bears. Hard and soft. Hard and soft.

At all. Well, they broke in Papa Bear's bed because they go hard, but then when they want something a little more SNM, they go to Mama Bear's bed and that's a little more rigid, so it's like punishing. Do we want to explore this? Because will I thought I thought I thought about I'm actively taking apart my computer bit by bit I'm just answering it Bite bite bite, please

Sandy, I think I'm so sorry I goldie locks go the locks probably brought a lot of good material for the SNM parts with her You know the locks. I'm starting to say, her name's locks. I don't know. Sorry, that's all I got. That's disgusting. Disgusting. Go to the locks as a fake child, Sandy, come on. Don't.

It's a pink shame. Fiction of the title. No, king shame. If I king shame, I mean the king's inner hair. Okay, ready for some puzzles? Yes, ready for some puzzles. Yeah, ready for some puzzles. Mike, yes.

Well, you deserve a lot of shame for that. Sandy, just cough right in that mic, please. Listen, I was told the mic right by my, okay, should I move away when I do that? That's a fact. That's fine, I'm learning. It turns out the same part of me that talks is the part that coughs, and that's the part

that needs to be in the microphone. Ha, ha, ha. It's like that line from succession. Which, that could be a micro-puff. It's like that line from succession. Which, that could be a million. He's like, he uses his, he uses his dick to go to the bathroom and then he puts it inside people. It's disgusting. I remember that.

Put that in. That is a good one. Yes. All right. So, I brought something a little different today. What I've done is looked up the origin story of a lot of common English idioms. That's a great view.

Some English idioms. Oh, thank you, Governor. And I'm gonna tell you that origin story, I'm gonna leave out a couple of details and see if you can get it. Can't get it, ask me some questions about it, you can prod, I can give you a little bit more details to make it easier until you get it.

That's it, that's the whole game. I know, I just wanna say it. That's a tweet. I'm also gonna, well, I wanna say upfront that I know likely some of these are apocryphal. Don't at me, I don't care. That means like a potion. Apocryphal is my favorite Madonna.

Yes. What is that? I know what it means. I just explain it to the listeners. What is that? What is that? What does that mean? Like a potion.

Like a potion. I don't think it's going to be a court for the very first time. Thank you so much. Like a pot. But I'm going to use that in a sentence. I throw that in conversation. I said, oh, that's so like a potion. What would I be saying? You know,

Oh, DPC doesn't make like the bed he made. It's, it's healthy. It's got all these handcuffs on it. That's why the curative, it's just right. It's just right. Yeah. And JPC leans left.

All right. Exactly. All right. So for example, I think we, this is one I think some of you, maybe all of you know, but I said this comes from when a cult leader convinced 900 followers to commit mass suicide, that takes us to the idiom that we use today and in much less dark, much less darker context is, you know what? Drinking the Kool-Aid.

Drinking the Kool-Aid. Drinking the Kool-Aid. Drinking the Kool-Aid. Drinking the Kool-Aid. Drinking the Kool-Aid. Or do drink the Kool-Aid. Oh, do. Going down on my Jones tone. Yeah. Uh, as an aside, an atrocious reference

for something that we use pretty innocuously in. Yeah, right. Yeah. We should not do that. All right. It's probably the worst thing humans are doing right now, huh? Yeah. It's definitely the top three.

Well, that, yeah, for sure. This is my new battle is I'm gonna I'm just gonna search that term and just shame anyone and not do anything else and feel great about myself. Alright so first one if you lost the Carnival game you wouldn't earn a certain prize leading to this common expression. Okay. Okay. I'm certain prize. Oh, we're just in front of all prizes. How race the bright up guess the by said they did it old face weight.

All right. If you like by if you were just like by a small margin, you had not one, you wouldn't get this. Um, you wouldn't get the old kitten. Kubut funnel cake. Uh, my father's respect. Uh, uh, lost. Funnel cake. A bolster bang. My father's respect. Uh, lost by a second date. Lost by a hair?

Addle, that's good. That's something. That sounds like something. You could win a wig at a carnival, right? The, yeah, you could have. I keep trying. I've never tried to be supportive of the show before. This is my first attempt.

How's it going? Someone tell me. I have some notes. If I knock over those three milk cans, can I have your hair, please? TPC, watching you try to be supportive on the show is like watching a dog walk on its hind leg. It's like, no, no, that's not quite right. No, no, no, no.

But he just used all four. All right, if you don't, why don't you come up with one? Yeah, see if it's gonna, let's see if it rivals the real one once I tell you what it is. So if you lost the carnival game by very small margin, they'd say, oh, that's, that's a sheep's shame. Okay, we're going to mark that. You just, you missed the target. You, you embarrass yourself in front of your friends. That's, you shouldn't win the bear. You pissed your pants. You, you, you shouldn't that.

This is a prize that you would win at a carnival, right? Yes, and the prize is a cigar. Close but no cigar. Close but no cigar. Close, you were close, but you get no sheets. But no cigar. No, you get no cigar. But no bear. Didn cigar. No cigar. Close? You were close, but you get no sheet. But no cigar. No, you get no cigar. But no bear.

Didn't win the bear, I like that one. That's why so many old-timey kids smoke cigars. That's right, that's right. That's all they would give you at carnivals is cigars and matches the light them. So really, that's where close, but no cigar comes from. From a, they would really give cigars as carnival prices. Mm-hmm.

According to the carnival Wikipedia, I looked up. Here's what I'll say. When I was a kid, the only things you got to carnival when I was a kid are either those Dr. Seuss type hats with marijuana leaves on them, or like eight and a half by eight and a half framed piece of glass with either guns and roses symbol on it, or marijuana leaf.

Or a fear of fairest wheels. That's all I got from this. The thing that I remember from carnivals are the caricatures and the booths where you could put your face or body on the cover of a magazine. And so, do you know what I'm talking about? Where they print your fake magazine cover for... Oh, yeah, I know what you're talking about.

I never experienced this. I had this thing of me on Muppet magazine, which I don't even think was a magazine, holding Kermit in my room for I'd framed him my room for my entire class. I'm so jealous. When I was a kid, all the archdiocese around my schools would have carnivals at the Catholic schools. My school had a carnival thing in the parking lot where they'd bring in tilt to worlds

and all that shit. It was all like the parents, were the ones who were running the booths, and there was one game, it was a ring toss game on two-liter bottles. And you would like toss a ring, and if it hit the top of the two-liter bottle, you were supposed to win a prize.

Well, the parent who was working it thought that the prize was the two-liter, so they were giving out two-liter. So this spread the wildfire to all the kids. So kids were just guzzling like two liters of seven up and then getting onto the tilt the world thing, the teacup ride and then just spray. It was a absolute nightmare.

And then they'd go back for more two liters. You were like, I wish these kids were smoking cigars. So yeah, that was pop. cigars would have been better for us at that point. And Sandy, we're teaching you something which is when kids drink the soda and then spewed on the tilt world, that's where we get the phrase, So Garj would have been better for us at that point. And Sandy, we're teaching you something which is when kids drink the soda and then spit on the tilt world,

that's where we get the phrase soda jerk. So, so interesting that we're teaching you now. Please give us another one. Okay, in horse racing, a jockey was so far ahead, jockey and their horse was so far ahead that they could win even without doing a part of their job. We call that, we gave that a certain expression that has carried

on to this day into more general circumstances. Winning without spanking the horse. Winning by the turkey of their jerky. The turkey of their derby. They could win without doing a surprise. Being born rich. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, winning by the skin of their teeth. No, it's not skin of their teeth. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, drop the reins and still win because they're so far ahead. And that or some some

Marley could be said they won at a saddle. They won at a control. One by the looost of their horse. Lucy. Welcome back to the third annual loose horse contest. I want to remind the judges that this is a match and the Jackie is to do to do to do to do to do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do They went down. They went down. They went down. They went down. They went down. They went down. They went down.

They went down. God, we got it so easily with no help and no hints. Three geniuses. Three geniuses. Think about using that next time you use that phrase, what does it mean anyway to say hands down? Well, it means that you're a horse. You're a jockey on a horse.

So two winning hands down means, it's almost like you won giving up. Yeah, it's right. It means that you stop playing. You, uh, yeah, you're Usain Bolted it. That's what that should be the next phrase. I truly thought it meant it was like in reference to poker. And it was like winning hands down was like winning without them ever

seeing what your cards were like bluffing. But I don't know why that I don't know why that popped into my brain, but that makes way more sense. I'm going to change Wikipedia to say that. Okay, good. I also have a couple other articles we got it over there. Just well worth the neighborhood citation. Hey, Rital Rital episode, whatever number. And I thought it was a about a guy who had swan wings for hands. And so he won hands down. His hands were made down. Moving on, there's an expression from the 1700s in theater, a playwright created a technology that was later used in other plays

without permission. And he received no credit for it. So what phrase or idiom did that lead to? without permission and you received no credit for it. So what phrase or idiom did that lead to? Go fuck your prercenium. And I'm gonna suggest that would not. Okay. Super. Take my name out of mouth.

Uh, spray your eyes. Play your eyes. Play your eyes. Sort of like plagiarize, it's sort of like, but it's not really plagiarize, it's sort of like, to keep attention from someone else and using it for your spotlight. It's like taking the spotlight

and putting it on yourself. This was a sound effect machine. Oh, for a certain sound effect. That got reused without credit. What would that sound effect be? That's got to be a fart machine, right? It's got it in parts. If you've never seen six characters in search of an author by Pure Indelo without a fart

machine, you have not seen six characters in search of an author. Check off a fart machine. Yeah, we'll be used. So it was like, imagine like a lot of shaking, I don't know what this machine is. But thunder and rain rain machine. Your rain, your rain, your rain, my brain, rain, don't rain on my brain. I said the word already, Adel. Yes, rain, rain, thunder, light, thunder, thunder. Oh, don't do my thunder, yeah. Which was later, which was later which was later evolved to don't steal my sunshine, which I believe

I'm like with her. I think it was one that we don't think it was. I think it was Lynn. Lynn. Okay. Do not know what you're referring to. Lynn is who? You don't know the 90s summer Bob steal my sunshine.

I know. I know. It's not for me. Yeah, Tom Witsinger. That guy honestly had like the worst, it was like the most gravely voice. If you want to hear me in JPC's cover of that song, check out our Patreon Patreon.com slash that will never exist. JPC will never be to do that. Patreon.com slash that will never exist. JPC will never be able to do that. Slash, lend or lit or live or something. During storms, sailors would be sent below decks. Yes. For a certain reason.

I'll tell you the reason if you want to. But so there were sometimes during storms, they'd send sailors under the deck, under a certain deck actually, in order to avoid something. I'll go in under the deck, under a certain deck actually, in order to avoid something. I'll go in under the cuddle deck. Hold up, day. The cuddling.

Stop. I'm taking the ear and cuddle. Aaron, what's the cuddle deck? Please describe it in full detail. When sailors wanted to get cozy, they would go under the cuddle deck and get nice and warm and they'd tell stories and they'd drink tea. Yeah. That's a mystery, Adel. You are, Phillip.

I don't know what you're doing. Trownd, no, but if you want to meet me in the cuddle deck, I wouldn't say to no. Or I'll see you there. What if our parents touched if we cross parents sort of speak? Or get you. Yes, you're there. Is this something about being green behind the gills? Is this something about you? It's a hot-s� expression all the time.

It's under the weather. That's it. You're feeling sick or want to avoid feeling sick in the ship. You would go under the weather deck. Shorten to under the weather. That is where that comes from. And real quick, Aaron, do you mind singing the new song scuddle butt from the little mermaid remake? Oh my audio cut out

Oh, no, I sang the whole thing is this the aquafina song? Yes, I might I'd pick my daughter up from the movie theater yesterday, and she had seen this show and she put on this new Aquafina song from the movie, but I don't know it was, if it was called Scullo, but no. I haven't seen it yet. Oh, you haven't seen it. I'm saying, no way your daughter saw Little Mermaid. If you weren't there, if my dad dropped me off of the theater, I'm sneaking into Fast X.

I was under the cuddle. Oh, yeah, for you. You know what I mean? Busy. Oh, yeah. Is that out of the house? Are you kidding? Go under that cuddle. Oh yeah, for you know what I mean. Busy. Oh yeah. Kids out of the house. Are you kidding? Go under that cuddle. All right. 15th century this one comes from in Ireland. You're referred to poachers that still have evidence of the crime. Evidence. Blood on your hands. I was going to say I

blood into your nails or something like that. What's an idiomatic way to say blood on your... On your... Category seats. Category seats? I have receipts. It's the four brain heads of receipts. Oh, cur. Red handed, caught red handed.

That's it, caught red handed. Caut, yeah. I said cut with blood on your hands. Caut, what are your heads? And they were like, that's a little on the nose. We need to do it a little bit. Yeah. Some of that flows a little on the nose. We need to do it a little bit. Yeah. Some that flows a little better.

Okay. If you were in the British world, maybe just keep on the, say, the high seas. Okay. Sailors would be flogged for their transgressions. And the threat of that punishment would motivate them to keep silent. Can I just say, it used to be so many sailors had flocks.

And I'm glad that we've moved past that. Flock's had their time in the sun, they were fun to read, but I feel like flocks are a little self-indulgent. And of course, flocks stands for, is a shortened version of French blocks. Yeah. I'm not crazy, right? I knew that, but, yeah, of course.

No, yeah, we all do that. Secretly, on we, on we, on we. This is the phrase that we are looking for here. The thing that you need to know, yeah, the phrase you're looking for is something you would say if someone's being unnecessarily or suspiciously silent. Cat got your tongue. That's it.

And this is about... Cat of Nine Tales, I think is what is that what we're called? Yeah, nine tales. I learned that from medieval times museum. And I learned that from Goldilocks. She a freak. And Aaron, where'd you learn it? You just learned it from... Just now! Now. All right. All right. All right. Cute.

Let's keep it to old military stuff. Soldier's facing painful surgeries, but would put something, would do something to avoid the pain or to help with the pain. I really avoid the pain. Bite your tongue. Change their name.

That's right. It's not me having this surgery. It's not me having this surgery. Oh my God. That's someone else's pain. It's not me having this or you thought me had this That's someone else's guy That's a good one none the pain. Well, remember they're in the military and what do you do if you're trying to avoid? You don't have anesthesia so you're trying to avoid bite the belt because bite the bullet go away Right the bullet you have a bullet Why not use it to keep your self from screaming? I do have a question about that.

Is that not dangerous? No. You can just mind on top of the bullet. It's not more dangerous than the honest that unensitized appendectomy that's happening to you at the same time. I guess here's where I'm at. Here's where my head's at. I'm in the army.

I'm in a lot of pain. I know to bite something to relieve it, I'm not gonna choose a bullet. Like I'll choose any that I love your belt. You know why you have to do it because the idiom says so. You wanna bite a spoon, you're like, no, JPC, there's not such thing as biting a spoon. In fact, I need to ask you guys, what would you say instead of bite the bullet

and then we can end the second? Okay, so. Kill me instead. Let me die. Oh boy. Give me my own penis please. Bite the doctor's hand. By the hand that feeds me. Yeah.

The doctor's my dad. Oh, no, I'm sorry, the doctor's my mother. Thank you. And thank you, Sandy. We love these. We weren't good at them, but we did love them. Do you have anything that you would like for our listeners to know about?

Sure. So I'm still running a newsletter, monthly newsletter, with a subscription element that allows you access to a lot more stuff, including these monthly puzzles that I put out. I run a Discord for members. It's at signals.fun, s-i-g-n-a-l-s.fun. And you can also go to my Instagram, which is Mystery League where I do these prop man toes, which is like AI-generated mashups of funny images. So like for example, today I did a mashup of side show Bob. He looks like he's in Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney

and so the answer is side show Bob Jackson. Oh my god. You got to figure this out from the picture. Sure, so that's it. Missed really get Instagram. Sweet. That's stuff. Well, I guess nothing left to do except

bury you back under all of this. So everybody grab a handful and grab a snorkel, Sandy, see you soon. See you soon, buddy. That's where we get the expression, dead by sand. Uh-oh, get him out, get him out. Who, that was so fun to see Sandy. What a day. What a difference a day makes.

What a day, a day, a day, a day, a day, a day, a day. Uh-oh. Uh-oh, I'm broken. We have to move on to plugs. Addle. Do you have anything that you would like to plug? Yes, I do. And this is something it's in tandem with one Casey Tony.

Now, JPC, you might remember Casey sent us a text message on the thread about going to see across the spider version 40X. And Casey said the following, and if Casey you don't want this out there, you can feel free to cut it. Casey takes it, brings me absolutely no joy to say it, but yes, across the spider verse

was not meant to be seen in 40X. You know, Spidey's iconic web slinging, that old familiar motion of dropping down and flinging back up again over and over. Remember how Spider-Man turn off the dark, prove that human beings can't handle the kind of force and momentum that this fictional superhuman subjects himself to? Well, the 40X engineers sure didn't, LOL. The chairs would dip all the way down and flick all the way up with such intensity that people were quite literally being thrown from their seats.

My hands were sticky from death gripping the cup holders, somebody left ten minutes in. My dad got motion sickness and almost had to step out. I kept leaning over saying, I'm so sorry, it's not usually like this. Really, really breaks my heart to have a less than stellar 40X experience. So that's Casey Tony and myself telling you, we recommend not seeing Spider-Man across the screen.

No, no, no. In 40X. I kid you not. Casey, I read that text for Badam to a friend of mine that was at my house this weekend who on the spot refunded his tickets to see it in 40 X and wait and saw it in regular ads that. So you are saving lives sir with that public service announcement.

Oh my God. Truly the first movie I've heard that isn't fit for 40 X because all the other ones have been in blast but that one's not pretty rough and rough that you took your parents to it, okay, so Aaron, you don't have to see that one in 40x and that. I won't. And good.

And for good reason this time. But I will say I have not yet seen across this by diverse. I'm going to see it very soon. I'm very excited. And so I probably will recommend seeing the actual movie next week. Aaron, anything to plug? Yes, I got to go on Mystery County Monster Hunters Club and it's a bunch of Chicago improvisers that I really enjoy and look up to a lot. And I had the best time,

and I think that comes out this week, if not this week, the next week, but definitely check out that show. And if you are sick of me, then check out another episode. But it's definitely worth the listen, and I can't recommend it enough. A GPC can you read a review from the show or just go or or just say something that you want to say? Aaron? I'll do both. The first thing that I will say that I want to say is that I really want to say

that I want to say that I'm going to say. No everything went great. Oh brother. The first thing that I want to say is you can see me most Saturday and so world news at I.O. Chicago that Saturday and it's at 8 p.m. at I.O. Chicago. I think that they're updating their website soon so that you can actually find like tickets to the show in a reasonable way.

But please do come and see that show. I've had some Heyver and a Vrinal folks show up at the show and it's always fun to see folks there. I would also like to read a five star review this one submitted by does not work to potential which by the way is a great name for your iTunes review name and an amazing avat guard post modern absurdist work think waiting for good Doe meets the movie Brazil the hero and main character Casey Tony is almost never heard the podcast starts with three comedians who have been given the chance to have their own podcast as As time goes on, the comedians realize they lack any skills to create a coherent podcast and that the premise of the podcast is thin. Every week, our hero and every man,

Casey, needs to take piles of insane audio and try to turn it into something resembling a podcast. As time goes on, the comedian start running out of ideas and the podcast keeps becoming more and more unhinged. Meanwhile, Casey has to try to hold things together. The insanity goes to a whole new level. When instead of trying to improve the podcast, the comedians instead create two more premium podcasts. It's easily one of the greatest works of art of the new millennium. Also, Adel, Aaron, and JPC are hilarious. Thank you so much for not working to potential. That was a beautifully worded five star review. If you wanna get your review featured on the show,

go to Apple iTunes wherever you can leave reviews and write a five star review. I might pick it, I might, I picked that one. Do you have a nerve? Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry. Yeah, sorry.

I like to burst, I burst. Sorry, here it is. Oh, yeah. And John Patrick calling. Casey told me to be editing. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Here it is. Uh, yeah. And John Patrick College. Casey Tony to the editing. Now, are you here in the music class? Photo created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Nemora.

Hey there, bricks and pranks. If you like that, you are going to love the music class. I'm going to be a little bit more creative. I'm going to be a little bit more creative. I'm going to be a little bit more creative. I'm going to be a little bit more creative. I'm going to be a little bit more creative. I'm going to be a little bit more creative.

I'm going to be a little bit more creative. I'm going to be a little bit more creative. I'm going to be a little bit more creative. I'm going to be a little bit more creative. I'm going to be a little bit more creative. I'm going to be a little bit more creative. I'm going to be a little bit more creative. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry Rick, Rick, you're a man. Hey there, bricks and bricks. If you like that, you're gonna love this week's Patreon. Casey Tony joins us to do his 50 favorite things bracket. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com, so it's a favorite over it all.

By joining the clue crew for $5 a month or the review crew, and you get those ad for your episodes for $8 a month. See you there! the review crew and you get those ad free episodes for $8 a month. See you there!