Hey Riddle Riddle - #260: Garson Arson Larson w/ Mark McConville

Episode Date: July 12, 2023

We have a guest and we are so excited! The great Mark McConville takes a break from being amazing at the NYT Crossword puzzle to do some terrible riddles and word avalanches with us. Stick around to learn how to prevent forest fires, enter a kite competition, and see an ice skating duo attempt a daring trick. Let's hope Mark will agree to start a Steppenwolf Cover band with us! Featuring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Special Guest: Mark McConville Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to mail us something?  Hey Riddle Riddle  6351 W Montrose Ave #267 Chicago, IL, 60634 Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531) Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fm This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/riddle and get on your way to being your best selfSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgun podcast. Hey Addle, JPC. Hey, what's up? Hey. Oh, you seem sad. Oh, is this bad news? Yeah. But why don't you bad news? Okay, you want to go? I can relate. I can relate to JPC later. Aaron, your makeup is smeared. Yeah. Sorry, you're wearing cream cheese. I'm wearing cream cheese. So I never seen that before. This is interesting. It's like a town. It's like a weird deli clown. Sorry. Dr, I'm sort of proving my point here. I talked to my doctor. And she said that. Twist. Okay, yeah, Dr. Suley. You talked to her as a mother.

She said that you two are most likely my pretend friends. And I've been making this all up. Aaron, if I was your pretend friend, could I reach through your chest like this? Ow! Ha! Ha! Hey, Adel, you gotta stop proving that you exist by touching people's chests. That can't be your go-to anyway. Well, okay.

I went to my doctor and he said I have Indiana Jonesitis, which is Gali Ma, Honemshiba, Gali Ma. All right. Well, I'm glad you brought this up because I actually went to my pillow, and he, so Joe Biden is not the president, Dominion voting systems stole the election, and I think he actually makes a lot of great points. I'm really seeing it now.

So YouTube don't technically exist, and I've been making this up as a coping mechanism. This whole podcast, this whole thing. I mean, Aaron, honestly, JPC and I thought we were busted years ago. Have you ever seen us eat or drink water? No, I just thought you were really bad at taking care of yourself.

I thought for sure, like a year and a half ago, you saw a ghost go right through me and I was like, we're cooked. We're actually cooked. But actually a ghost going through anyone. Yeah, I feel like it. Yeah, it feels like that's something ghost. That doesn't prove anything.

Yeah, well, it felt weird, okay. It went through me. I didn't go through anyone. It felt weird and just some acknowledgement would be so nice. That's why I don't stay in your window so I don't refract on the floor, Aaron. Well, it was so nice making you up.

Back in your brain, we go. And out of your brain comes our guest today. You might know him from his podcast, Super Ego. You might know him from his podcast and real world event pistol strip radio. You might know him from his new podcast, which I'm very, very much enjoying mall walkin' with Matt Garlie as well. Please welcome to the show, musician, Viking's fan, Mark McConville. Woo! Hello, Riddler's.

Oh, Batman, it's Batman. Does Batman and Mark have one Riddler? That would be smart. The Arkham of the Silence should just do like a franchise of Riddler? That would be smart. The Arkham of Silence, you should just do like a franchise of riddlers. That'd be really fun. I'd like that. Why do you think more people should take up

like the villain mantle where it's like, there can be several jokers. I mean, there are in terms of iterations, but in one storyline, there should be like several people claiming to be the joker. It should be fun. Yeah, none of this multiverse shit, there should just be six jokers that all exist

at the same time. They share one apartment. Yeah, none of this multiverse shit. There should just be six jokers that all exist at the same time. They share one apartment. Okay, that's a sitcom. That I love. The rent is dealin', you haven't paid your phone. Also, my double stuffed Oreos have been gotten into. Who use my grease paint? No left track.

No left track. No left track. But the space for laps, so it's just super uncomfortable feeling. Yeah, the other five jokers are always laughing. So there's a left track, but it's internal. Mark, thank you so much for being on here. I said, musician, you play, I want to say you play like steel pedal guitar or something? Pedal steel guitar.

Yes. Pedal steel. What did I say? You said steel pedal, which is a common thing that people say. I think that works as well. Which is a type of flower. That's right. Do you have any, have you done any live shows recently?

I just did one on Sunday. I don't know. It was great. It was really fun. It went great. Here's how detailed do you want me to get? I am pretty detailed, but I also, I'm very curious, is it a lot of a pedal steel guitar makes me think of like

rockabilly type music? Is that sort of twinging music? This band that I'm that I played with on Sundays called Stetson Wolf. Okay. And it's like loud outlaw country. It's like Whalen Jennings meets ZZ top. They met. It's pretty, the songwriting is like, it's pretty basic rock chords, but with like country feel to it. If that's not correct. De-Steppin' Wolf play all originals. Mostly, yeah. Okay, so, okay, because in my mind, it's a Steppenwolf cover band.

Cover band? Cover band. It's like a cowboy take on Steppenwolf. That's what it sounds like, you know. I guess actually that maybe is not that far from what it is. Yeah. Mark, will you please let us know your relationship

with puzzles, riddles, lateral thinking problems, escape rooms, crosswords, whatever, in fixer day. Hold on. Well, I've been doing puzzles a long time. Okay. I was a kid who could read at a very young age. And when I got into the public school system in Wisconsin, it's weird that you can read. Are you a genius? We need to put you... So I didn't go to kindergarten.

I skipped kindergarten. But there was a period of time for like a month where I was just doing like, there's five matchsticks in a square. Can you move one matchstick to make it a triangle? Is that a lateral thinking problem? I don't know if it's lateral thinking, but it's absolutely a puzzle. Yeah, I've seen that.

Yeah, so there's a lot of logic puzzles and logic rules would be like, you know, like Jason is Bill's brother, but Bill has two sisters is Jason also Jill's sister. Jill's not alive. Like you did that amount of information, then you'd have to like fill in a grid. What happened? Like the relations. Yeah, I don't really know. So yeah, I've been doing puzzles.

I'm still trying to figure out what to do with this fucking match stick. I would like Mark if that's how the teacher took attendance in this genius school. Bill's brother Sean is Joe. And I know that you, we did an escape room, must have been four years ago in LA. It was a while back. You said that was your first ever escape room.

Have you done that? No, that's not true. Okay. But I've only done maybe one or two. The one with you and I did another one that was like, uh, you had to escape from a wizard's layer. It was like the, the, the old Apple two video game Kings quest. As a escape room where it was like, oh, you need to like get the spell elements

and the puzzles were very fun. And it was very like sort of like this wizard won't let you go unless you can figure out how to capture the elements or something like that. Sounds about right. Here's what I'll say is when we did the, I think it was called lab rat, where you're basically, your humans in an oversized escape room that's made to look like, it makes you feel like you're a rat in some sort of test or maze. And the doctors are rat. And the doctors are rats and they're taking notes on you. Is that the same company with that JPC?

We went to the same place. Yeah. But I remember we were doing the room and I think you said, you had never done one before, you'd only done one before. And I remember being like, oh, I've done so many. And then we got into the space and mark you within 15 minutes, you had solved like 30 puzzles. And I was like, what the fuck is happening?

Yeah, I skip kindergarten I Also, I just had to check my actual stats. This is the New York Times Crossword app. Oh nice I have a 1073 day streak on the crossword puzzle Whoa, and I've really done it grow up Sorry, where did you grow up? Sorry? Where did you grow up?

I grew up in Hudson, Wisconsin, right near the Twin Cities. What's in the water? What's going on there? Yeah, I was gonna say it. What's going on over there? I don't know. I don't, I just like, I decided, I guess it was New Year's Day 2020. Good time to get into Crossword puzzles, by the way.

Oh, yeah. But I have like a puzzle routine. I do the New York Times Crossword, word all the spelling bee and I do Quirtle Which is I was word all the time while I do sectoral which is 16 oh Man sex turtle. Yeah, is We're not talking about games anymore, right? All right, all that old ass man doesn't know how to do sex turtle. Okay.

Well, how do you get through the show? Octurtal and cordal, I was like, you just get numb to it. Yeah, you get it. I was like, if I need to feel alive, I got to do sex turtle. That's a big challenge. It's somehow easier though, because you feel more, we feel like you have more room to make mistakes. Well, you're getting a lot of data with every guess. Yeah, because like if I play Quarital, I'll go like, oh, yeah, well, I wasn't trying to get that word, but now I know what,

you know, panel four is or whatever. Yeah, I also play a weddle, which is NFL, it's like NFL based wordle. Okay. Is that also a receiver for the dolphins? He was, oh no, he was a defensive back for the charge, Eric Weddle. Same thing. He's named after Eric Weddle. But yeah, it's a puzzle thing where you,

you get like age, name, number, team, division, and based on that information. I know you're shit for that. Yeah. I play fantasy football, so it's kind of already, all that information is already in my brain, but it's fun to just go like, wait, he plays for, he plays for the bills now? Like, yeah. Staying fresh on the NFL. That's my puzzle.

What's your streak on that? I don't always get it. And sometimes I do cheat. Sometimes I'll be like, I don't know. I don't know like today. I was like, I do not know who the fifth receiver for the Denver Broncos is. But I think it's worth bringing up. I'll pull it up here and see if I can find it because the name was terrific. It was right out of a funny. To describe something like that as cheating, where it's only really for you. Like you're allowed to engage with it in any way that you want. You're not letting anyone down but yourself.

So I knew I knew I had to guess a Denver Broncos receiver but I didn't know who I guessed all the ones I knew and it's like that's them, that's all of them. And there's a guy who placed for the Denver Broncos his name's Lil Jordan Humphrey L.I.L. Apostrophe Jordan Humphrey Lil Jordan. I love that as a first name. That's yeah credible I did not know this person existed until today and now anytime

Anytime I watch classic movies. I'm only gonna think little Humphrey Bogart and I'll be like was that Little Humphrey Bogart. And I'll be like, was that, what was his name? Little Humphrey Bogart? Little Jordan Humphrey. Well Mark, we're gonna put your mental prowess to the test. And we have Aaron Keefe as Old Man Puzzles. Hi. James Eur. Or I was gonna be a horror-imaginate character. So Aaron, do you wanna kick us off?

Yes. So we're gonna go back to the riddle books that Molly gave us at a live show. It's time for Molly's riddle books. Now, Mark, to bring you up to speed, these riddle books are from the 1950s. Not, there's sometimes problematic. I was gonna say, are they trunk full erasism? Yeah, yeah.

Aetheranium. Aetheranium. I've literally blown dust out of them too when I've opened them. It's like a dust. Oh, like physically they're problematic. Yeah, and physically all the content. So there's sometimes like old- timey speak in it too. So that's just, I'm in.

That's just my warning for you. Okay. What are the three most common causes of forest fires? Hmm. Okay. Well, number one with a bullet has to be you as in the Royal you, me or I or we, if smokey, if if smoky the bear is gonna posit only you can prevent forest fires,

the inverse also must be true. Only you are the one who can't prevent. Yeah, for a vent, yeah, that's fine. Exactly, because otherwise, if that's a whole campaign that we know about for this long, if it's that present in the in the zeitgeist, then that has to be number one. Otherwise they'd say like only making sure your car is turned off can prevent forest fires.

Right. What's fucked about that campaign is I never thought about it until now. The only you can prevent forest fires is so absolutely goddamn wrong, which is like, are you telling me like everything an oil company is doing is not making a forest fire any worse? Like, I know what you're saying. That's a stressful thing, sir. Kid with anxiety to hear too,

being like, oh God, I don't have the resources. I'm just a kid. I do wanna see you soon. Mark and Aaron, you are two friends who are camping out in the wilderness. You're starting a fire in your tent or camp that you've set up. And JPC, you are Smoky the Bear who has come over to sort of shame them. What do you think you want to make some more?

Yeah, if this firewood, the wood is so wet, there's so much smoke. I mean, it's like, I can't breathe. Yeah. Why are we even out here? We talked about this. We're just to always inside. I thought we could connect to nature. It's good for us.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa now! Oh, there! Bear! Bear! Bear! Bear!

Oh, there's a bear, please! Someone help us! Help us! Nobody's coming. You can yell all you want. Nobody's coming. Talk! Who's better this part?

Talk! Who's better? The man can talk! Please! No one's coming! I killed everybody in a three mile radius. No one's coming. Come up, come up, come up, come up, come down from that tree.

Come down from that fucking tree right now. No! What do you want? What do you want? Who started this fire? Which one do you will shit? It sucks all this wood is wet has it been raining for months or something? Yeah, it has been raining. I keep the forest wet and I keep little fucks like you out of it Eat him not me. I didn't even want to come camping. I hate it over here. I don't think you want to eat anybody What oh, I mean no, I'm eating you both the real question is

Are you gonna be dead before I start eating or is it gonna do the other way around? scene I was gonna I was gonna press pause on that and be like all right students any question I I love the reality of like if Smokey shut up at your camp, you're gonna scream, bear, it's an ambulatory bear with a hat, like of course you're gonna be terrible. Yeah. Have you seen a recent ads for Smokey the Bear?

No. Is he like cool now? Is he like, There's a billboard in Chicago. There's a billboard in Chicago with Smokey the Bear. And first of all, he is wearing jeans, but he's not wearing a shirt. And he looks sexy as hell.

That's what he's jacked is okay. He's jacked. He looks very like human and he looks sexy. And I'm like, who is this for? Like, why are they making Smokey so hot? See, Smoke show, Smoke show the Bear. They should change their name to Smoke show the Bear. And he should be a part-time stripper.

I would kill to be in that meeting. Just one lady in the back clicking a pattern and like going, what if we made him sexy and everyone was like, that would be crazy. Like everyone else is flipping out. Okay, McGruff the crime dog, we have to give him a huge dick. That's the only, he's got a trench coat on who cares. No one's gonna see it. That's the only he's got a trench coat on who cares No one's gonna see it, but we'll know

6 0 6 0 1 and that's not a zip code. That's my What are we doing riddles? Okay, so Aaron is this is this some sort of Is this a riddle words? Is this a riddle or just just like a 1950s factoid the fire thing? I thought we already solved that No, we're back on okay the fire thing you were kind of on the right track with the you and me thing think like that Okay, and it can you phrase it again? Can you read it? What are the three most common causes of forest fires? Fires forests and a person lighting a match. Is it like that kind of thing? No, but Like the obvious ingredients that without those ingredients there wouldn't be a fire Oxygen is bad. Yeah oxygen would be good. I like that. Oxygen flint. I'm gonna give it to you Women and children.

What? Yep. It's what? Men, women and children. Yeah. They're causing the forest fires. Men, women and children. Anyway, the three-geners.

Women and children. Hold on there. What's the easiest way to double your money? Write a riddle book in the 1950s Is it multiply it by two say money twice? It's got to be folded. Oh, it's no. You tell me so yeah, adult. You're the right. It's folded invested IBM Double your money Mark to be fair you said money money. Yeah. I'm on marks. I'm on marks. Which is a cover which is a cover song. Fuller doesn't have anything. Yeah. Definitely

does not double it. What if my money is 25 cents? I can't fold it it's metal I bet smoky the bear could fold it I bet he could he's so strong with his ass how can you divide 16 apples among 17 hungry people murder put them into slice so to fair enough because a lot of the answers are like murder. Um, 60 now apples amongst, I mean, is it like quarter of them or slice them or something? No, but it's just as dumb. Everybody takes one lick. I got it. You don't lick it. Apple sauce?

Yes, it's apple sauce. Wow. Wow. Wow. What's the best material for kites? Self-five. What did you say, Hennel? A tight five.

Stand up material. What's the best material for kites? Oh, boy. I mean, one. Here's the thing, Aaron. Why should I know this? You make it hard for me for why I should not know this. Exactly, you shouldn't know this because this is not a real answer. It's not like. It's the best cure for common man. I do wanna see a scene, it's a brief scene.

So we're gonna see a scene where you three are all entrance in a kite making competition, okay? And I'm gonna be a judge coming up to you individually while you explain to me your kite. Great Alright Well first Up here, it's Benjamin Franklin Okay, your Benchman Frank that I love you outfit. Where's my clothes?

Okay, sure. Well, what do you have first that I've been? Well, I have baggy pants to hide my syphilis. I have sort of a vest-lash tunic. I have some, oh, the kite, yes, of course. So this is a standard kite. It is made from wool as the base. It has a typical diamond frame. And then I have attached a key at the, yeah. Wool is the base of the kite.

Mm-hmm. As, what is, now, what is the base of a kite? Well, the sort of main fabric or... Gunning, yes. I would say the- I would say the- The base would be like the- Like the skeleton of the kite, you know, like the-

Hmm. I thought that was what was made of wool. Words may have changed since my time. Uh, I time travel to enter this contest, so... I-I hope I would. Um, I- I will say this is a contest, so I hope I win. I have a test for children. Say no more. D-D-D. What do you have first to do Jessica? My kite is a raccoon with a string attached to it.

Oh, I know you're thinking. It's the wrong shape. But he's promised to keep his arm stretched out like this the whole time. OK, while he's not, his arms are not stretched out currently. It looks like he's scared right now. OK, why don't we get him up in the air? Why don't we get him up in the airs as quickly as possible?

I'm gonna run and he's gonna float up in the air ready What do you mean? You're sitting on the kite shaking his head You wanted to do this you begged me to do this All right, Jessica, you know what you have a little time to get everything together. I'm running you with the raccoon Your name is Taylor. Taylor, correct. Is it Taylor?

Yeah, hi, I'm Taylor and I'm a latch key kid. And my kites made out of today's male and a snack. Okay, Taylor, I love the ingenuity. What's the snack? It was some of those crackers with the cheese goop in the corner. You know, that plastic container thing You know, I'm talking. There's like five crackers in there and then there's like a little red stick and then you can spread the sort of Barely food grade cheese onto the crackers. I

Had to stay at home mom Taylor. I won't know what you're talking about anything that you have. It's not something I Experience must be nice my parents are workaholics. Well, we don't have to get all in our first place. Sometimes they don't come home at all. Ha ha. All right, Taylor, why don't we get that cut up in the air, huh, buddy? Okay, but I'm warning you right now, I just used what I had laying around

and I've never tested it. You know, that's fine. You can't do much worse than what we've seen here today. No offense, Benjamin Franklin. He's powered down. Three, two, one. Okay. Caught him by the neck.

Caught him by the neck. Ha ha ha. Is there a doctor? Is there a doctor? Is there a doctor anywhere? Both of doctor? Do we have a doctor anywhere? Both of my parents are doctors, but they never come home from work. Bits eat.

I think Taylor wins. Well, Taylor actually loses his life. Well, while I'm reading this book, I never remember if I've given you the answer to anything or not. We have not solved what is the best material for kite? Is that what it will do? Wind, is it air? Oh, it's got to be wind.

Yeah. No, unfortunately not. What did you guess, Adel? String? I don't know if I had a guess. Is it like carbon fiber? Is it like 50s carbon fiber? The outdoors.

Fly paper. So this is a joke. 1950s carbon fiber The outdoors fly paper So this is a joke. It's gonna get stuck in a tree Mark was so disappointed. I love watching people break on the show. It really it keeps me up Yeah, one thing about riddles mark is sometimes they are just jokes for children So got it got it we have learned well mark famously never a real child. He was always burdened with immense knowledge. So honest to God, I skipped kindergarten. I cannot draw. My drawing skills are so bad. Like visual arts, I suck at them because I never did it. I played, I went directly into first-married I played one thing with markup punched in the face

The can I read to you the two most ridiculous messed up riddles in this book? I wish you would I was gonna skip them But I now I got it. Okay, and Casey go ahead and just add bleeps to these wherever we need them right What do women do with the years they take off their true ages? Shop? No. I totally on the right track. They add them to the ages of their best friends. Oh, that's. Shade. Can you believe how fucking horrible that is? And this is the other fucked up one. Wait, wait, wait, what is that what even saying?

It's saying like they lie about their ages and then they make their friends seem older than they are. I'm Jessica, I'm 28, but that's my friend Claire who's 40, 49. Yeah. You know women. Is the play is the play that they're like, I have weird relationships with much older women.

I do need to see a scene. No, no, no, women. I do need to see a scene. No, we do have to see a scene. No. The three of you are three women gossiping in the 1950s. How are you? Are you OK? Honestly, I'm great. This is the best it's ever been for us.

Right? Claire's staring at the window. I heard Dan's getting a divorce. Seen. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and twins a week later. Oh, I don't like this. Oh, she ate them. No, the answer is just one of the triplets got lost. Oh. Yeah, that's where I thought it was going. Oh, I was like, this is a musically childhood.

This is the little photo of one of the kids falling in a hole. Oh, yeah. Not a photo, that drawing. Richard was a photo. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Here, and I think that's evidence. I think you have to turn that book in.

This is a photo of you. There's another messed up one. How can you stop a small child from spilling food at the table? Feed him on the floor, and then this drawing. Picture. Actually, the normal ones. That one I don't mind as much. I feel like that there is a certain ingenuity in being like,

you know what, if the kid wants to eat off the floor, let the kid eat off the floor. My, go. Oh, I was gonna say my youngest brother when we were growing up, my dad's friend had a dog named Max, and Max had like a big shiny bowl with his name on it, and my little brother was obsessed with Max's bowl. It would try to eat food,

like he would try to eat Max's food out of the bowl. And Max was a huge dog. I get 80 pound dog. And it was so funny watching this confused dog. Like, this little baby would crawl up to his bowl and eat his dog for the dog. He's like, what the fuck do I do? Like, I know I'm not supposed to bite the baby.

Like, he's taking my food. I would eat off a dog's bowl. I think it sounds fun. Let's try. When should a boy kick about something he gets for his birthday? Weak about soccer ball. Yeah, they said football in this, which I feel like it's sort of a missed opportunity. And I'd like to see you see, Adel, you are Mark's dad and you are giving him his birthday presents and Mark, you

are not treating the presents with any sort of respect or care. Knock knock, hey there, boy oh? Dad, what are you doing here? I'm studying for final exams. I got a lot of pressure going on. Well, I think you forgot something important today, which is that baby boy it's your birthday. I'm not going to get into law school if I don't study constantly until the moment these exams happen.

Don't you understand these are the L-sats? Oh, Pishposh. In my day, I started work at 14 in a factory and look at me today. I own my own ice cream shop. Yes, dad. What, okay. I'll take a break. What is it?

Okay, I got you some gifts here. Got four. Okay, what? Cool. Here's the first one and just open that and... ...ungo. Great. A coffee maker. Yes! Oh! Oh!

Uh, hmm. Can't tell if that was on purpose or not. See, in my day, when I had to get up early to go to the factory at 14, the first few weeks were hell. Until I drank a pot of coffee every morning until I was able to do the work I needed to do to buy my own ice cream company. I've heard the story, Dad. Ah, have I told it that many times that you knew it word for word? Yes.

Well, son, you're a blue bunny, okay? And blue bunnies? All right, drink coffee. So I wish one day you'd start it might, okay, onto the second gift. This one's a little more fragile. Oh, a stuffed animal, it's a blue bunny, just like you called me all my life long. Oh, wasn't supposed to be edible, but.

I haven't eaten in days. I've been studying for the L-sats. Yes, of course, of course. Uh, no worries, no worries there. Let's get to this... Oh, this ticket I didn't wrap. This is... Two tickets to the local sports game! Oh! Thought you could take a break and we could go watch a game, uh, watch... Oh, you know, washing your armpits with the tickets.

After that, it's very hot in here, the dorms aren't air conditioned. I don't know, no apologies necessary. And here's the final gift, it's not really a tangible gift so much as it is a big old hug from your pop. Oh, I'm paralyzed with your love, Dad. Yeah, that's right. We blue bunnies are strong. I worked in a factory tightening bolts for 22 years. Fueled by a pot of coffee.

And you're gonna disrespect me? You're gonna disrespect me, huh? You can squeeze so hard. I'll start again. I'll start again. Ah! You can squeeze so hard. I'll start again. I'll start again Yeah, let me take this rotary phone and calling your mother Belleview, middle hospital Hello, I'd like to tell my wife Dolores you're gonna have to be a lot more specific See We are a step-in-wolf cover band

That's a lot like one of their plays. Should we go on a break? Yes, we can. We certainly can. Well, let's do it. Adam, why don't you take us to break? Okay. Everyone follow me, follow me, follow me.

So if you look to the right, this is a... This is impressionism. Meaning we get the impression that the artist wanted this is a, this is impressionism. Meaning we get the impression that the artist wanted to take a break. One, two, three, four, eight, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break he looks mattress brand. Uh, best nights sleep in my life. I know not everyone is on board yet. So I secured a word winning sleeper, Merrill sleep. Um, she's right behind that door, Merrill sleep. Wow, she won the golden pillow for best sleep. That's right.

Um, hey, Merrill. Hello, yes, hello, yes, I'm very well rested after sleeping on my midnight lux helix mattress. Good to see you. Good to see you. Your naps are stunning. I just wanted you to tell people about Helix sleep, how the Helix lineup offers 20 unique mattresses, including the award-winning lux collection. The newly released Helix Elite Collection, a mattress designed for big and tall sleepers even a mattress made just for kids Yeah, and helix knows there's no better way to test out a new mattress than by sleeping on it in your own home That's why they offer a 100 night trial in a 10 to 15 year warranty to try out the new helix mattress

Who do you who who did I think you were? I don't know. Marl, I'm Marl sleep and I know everybody is unique and everybody sleeps differently. I just recommend taking the helix sleep quiz and you can figure out what mattress is right. Cheap for you. I don't know if you're a side sleeper or you sleep hot or cold or if you sleep like me. Marl sleep. Yeah, choosing the right mattress

is a real Sophie's decision, but don't just take our word for it, or Meryl sleeps word for it. Heelix has been awarded the number one mattress picked by GQ and Wired Magazine. It was even recommended by multiple leading chiropractors and doctors of sleep medicine. Shh.

I don't think I thought you were the person that you were. Oh, she's doing it. What a performance? Helix mattresses all come with a 10 to 15 year warranty depending on the model. Stunning. Yeah, look, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to helix sleep.com slash riddle. This is their best offer yet and it will not last long with Helix better sleep starts now.

Go ahead and give her the Academy of Snorr. The Snorr? Academy of Snorr? You know what? Give me an Academy of Snorr. Glint close to falling asleep. That's why I got you. Oh yeah, I got that a lot. Hey Adel, hey Aaron, I got a bone to pick with the two of you. Oh. Sure, yeah, I wore the skeleton outfit just because I figured this a lot. Hey, Adel, hey, Aaron, I got a bone to pick with the two of you. Uh. Sure, yeah, I wore the skeleton outfit just because

I figured this was coming. Happy Halloween a few months early. It's not yet. What is it? So you know how the two of you, I was like, guys, I am always so hungry for lunches and dinners and the like and you, jokers, told me, oh, JPC, it's okay. All you have to do is take some, you know,

American paper currency, tape it to your front door, close the door, and then wait until someone brings you food. Well, I kept opening the door and the money was gone, so I had to tape more money to my door. I think you didn't work at all. Oh, door cash. Oh, door cash. Yeah, you did door cash.

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I eat back to school supplies. JPC, which I don't know what you eat. I eat back to school supplies. But wait. JPC, all your favorite retail, grocery, and convenience stores are on the app, so you can chop everything, your kids, your dogs, your family, might need for back to school. And hey, personally, just yesterday, I bought some Marsha's homemade premium quality buckeyes,

you know those candies that are chocolate stuff with peanut butter. I just got those from DoorDash and they were on my porch within 20 minutes and it's very dangerous because they're delicious. Did you fill your belly and your pantry? Yes. Did you fill your backpack? I did. Okay, well then DoorDash has come again for the gold. I remember distinctively the stress of going back to school and going from store to store to get all my favorite snacks and pencils and pencil cases and all the things that I needed me and my siblings and I remember how stressed my mom was and I know that she would have loved to have DoorDash so she could be prepared before the big back to school day arrived.

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At all, JPC keeps eating my gel pens. Thanks, DoorCash. I mean, no, that's the one. That one didn't work. That one's fat. Hey, JPC. Yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Atal, and I'm setting up a whole website to prank him. Um, I just need some advice. I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I I'm I you're just starting out and managing a growing brand. Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience, and sell anything for products to cut into time,

all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Addle, come here, come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC, and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you have anything that like is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace you can have custom

merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna shoot you. And I'm gonna use analytics.

Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website. The prank activity. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for?

I can't remember what the website was for. The website was for. Prank. With Squarespace. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Madel?

I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey, Erin. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know.

All right, follow me this way, follow me this way. I'm back from break, I'm back from break, roll. Break, break, roll. All right, follow me this way, follow me this way, I'm back from break, I'm back from break, back from break. This sucks that I got fired, is that I'm so good. But no, you're doing great, you're doing great. You were too loud and too excited. Okay, yeah. I'll tell you more. No, you're great.

I hear that they're hiring at the dolphin pavilion, if it's used with you. Yeah, I mean, I like them. They're like friendly sharks kind of thing. Yeah, I mean, I like them. They're like friendly sharks kind of thing. Yeah, I guess so. You know, speaking of which, I saw a little photo of the difference between a shark brain and a penguin, or not penguin, a dolphin brain.

We just been talking about penguins all day. A shark brain and a dolphin brain. And the difference is crazy. Have you seen the difference? Well, share, just a drawing or a photo. Photo. Okay, just making sure, because I want to make sure you know the difference.

Dolphins have like human brains. Shouldn't they be very different because they're not even in the same, well, what it's kingdom, phylum, class, order, they're mammals. Dolphins are mammals and sharks are bugs. All right, I should. I know it's a renowned animal expert Einstein.

Mark, they're swimsies, okay? We on the podcast call them swimsies. You went through this whole Maslow hierarchy or whatever. Yeah, they both said they, which is water. Take them, by them, water. I think I've said this on the podcast before. I can't stress it enough.

I don't think after the last four months, there's, I've seen in my Twitter feed and TikTok or whatever, I've seen so many shark attacks. I've seen so many killer whale things where their tagging shit. I think they're liking those videos, Adolf. I've seen some, I'm not liking them. Trust me.

I've seen so much where I have told Gemma almost in tears. I said, I am not going in the ocean again. And I mean that much where I have told Gemma, almost in tears, I said, I am not going in the ocean again. And I mean that. I don't know what's going on in the world. The ocean is pissed, and I will never go in the ocean ever again. I'll go in like maybe like a ship or something, but I will not step a toe in the water again

unless it's like a lake or river. If it like that's better. I'm thinking us. Yeah. The ocean should be thinking us because if anything we're making more ocean. It can hear you. They shouldn't be pissed off. We're basically building condos further there.

It's like let's take away some of the shoreline. It give a little too hot there. Why don't we cool it off with some more glacier? We're not ocean of favor. I get it. That's like me with aliens right now. It give me a little too hot there. Why don't we cool it off with some more glacier? We're not ocean of favor. I get it. That's like me with aliens right now. I have a new fear of aliens.

That is ruining it. We're not the same. Hold on, Lissor's we're not the same. That's the same. You're fear of the ocean. My fear of aliens, it's the same. All right. At its core, aren't you afraid of the same thing, which is we're just these small little

ants crawling around on a space rock hurtling through the universe Who gives us yet? Hold on, I'm getting a clapping sound. Oh, sorry. Sorry, I met the dolphin pavilion. I met the dolphin poo in and the seals are going nuts. They like it. They like it. No, I'm afraid of deep space and the ocean places we should not be. We're not designed to be there and as much as we are in deep space With a dolphin pavilions going crazy because the whales are having a conversation Hold on a minute. Yep. I based on what Aaron just said and then what Mark just said is it possible That's our conversation works. Okay It is possible. Okay. I just want to make sure that they could both say something

Okay, that's possible. Let's get there's more that's that space quote unquote aliens quote unquote is just is just the bottom of the ocean Like the Marianas trench is that Is that like it? Is that where aliens live because you see pictures of these motherfuckers the likeiana's trench, is that, is that like, is that where aliens live? Because you see pictures of these motherfuckers, the, the like, angler fishes and all the fucking terrifying. There, there are truly monsters. Terrorism on earth. No, there's marijuana for you today. You have an ethical obligation. You know that people listen to this show high. You cannot do this to people. People, people are losing their minds right now. Space is the bottom of the ocean, and that's where aliens come from.

Then what is the bottom of the ocean? Space. Space. We gotta get back on track. If you go down, so say you go to the Mariana's trench, which I believe is still the deepest part of the ocean. If you go all the way down to the Mariana's, that we know, if we go all the way down to the Mariana's trench and we keep sinking further and further,

what happens is as you go deeper and deeper, you suddenly, it feels like the water is kind of going away, but you're still weightless. And as the water goes deeper than the Mariana's trench. Yeah. So you think that the reason people, you think people hit the Mariana's trench and there's not like ocean floor you think they

could go deeper. I next riddles the mariana's trench and if you keep going down to the mariana's trench mariana. I think you mean the marionost trench. Thank you. Yeah. Exactly. That's right.

If you keep going down, the water seemingly disappears, but you're you still retain a sort of floating sense, right? You still feel like you're floating, but it's not it doesn't feel like water. And suddenly there's little sparks everywhere. And I don't know, are those little lights, are those little sea anemones? What are these creatures?

Suddenly it stars, you're in space, and you see an earth, and you go to that earth, and you go in the water, and you go all the way down to the bottom of the marry house, trench, and keep going deeper. And suddenly you're wait listening. Does that make sense? MCS. It's like a, it's MCS.

It's a hand drawing itself. Okay. Yeah. Adults are next one. You sober up. Coffee. Coffee. Take a coffee for Adults. Go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to avalanches. Now Mark, have you done word avalanches before? Not on purpose. Exactly.

I don't know. I don't know if I have a word. Great answer. I think I just did a word avalanche. So, these, you're going to catch on to what these are very, very quickly. All right. But basically, I'm going to say a phrase and then the answer to that phrase is a bunch of words that sound similar or words strung together that sound similar. Oh yes. Yeah, okay.

These word avalanches come from Grant D who emailed us at HRR podcast. So if you want to send in some riddles, that's where you can send them. At gmail.com. But again, if you're not using a gmail, what are you doing? What's your email? What do you email our on? Hotmail? I literally just forward you guys a Yahoo email a little bit ago.

You like? At a, at a does still have a Yahoo email address, which is a sus. I can't say goodbye. I can't say goodbye. All right, so we'll just do this as an example. Presenting a naked grizzly. Bear bear bear. Yes, bear bear bear bear. Bear bear bear. Yes.

Bear bear bear. Bear bear bear. Done. A water breathing covered in gold, artist's union. What a have to be water. A water breathing covered. Oh, guild. A guild.

Guild. Guild. Guild. Guild. Guild. Guild. covered oh guild a guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild guild is the ocean and out there like guilt guilt guilt guilt. Half of WWE tag team demolition will get rid of legally blondes difficult ice skating jump. Hardy boys, Hardy, no say it one more time for me I think I'm almost there. Half of WWE tag team demolition will get rid of legally blondes difficult ice skating jumpel Axe and then legally blonde Reese withers Boone Reese. No, who did she play in legally blonde? Gosh, I don't know a lawyer L L woods L Axel Axe L Axel and I'd like to see a scene

It's the winter Olympics JPC and Mark you're an ice skating team and you're attempting a very difficult jump in this routine that you've never done before and you're very nervous. Okay, the jump's coming up in 30 seconds. Are you ready for this? I'm a calverser. I'm so tired. It's okay. I do have to tell you though, I did eat like $30 of Taco Bell like an hour ago

All right, and now I have to go on the ring the demolition boys. Oh, I don't wear it in I don't wear It's the double-lots man do the lot lots lots lots Okay, I made it through the luts. Yeah, okay, all right Yeah, okay, all right Praise yourself I got to you right now. I'm midway. I'm I'm I think prairie dogging is the term. I think I'm I am prairie dogging right now. This is the goddamn Olympics Get it together. Here's what we do. Here's what we do. We'll do the jump, but just don't touch me at all Okay, how will you propel yourself? I think I have to just do it myself.

I think it's your touch. Here comes anybody who's got a heart cell. This is the time for the jump down! Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's fine. It went fine. Acutely distressing, lady hero has black tar drugs in her follicles, comma, Mr. Wilson. The heroine. Oh, I broke mark. No, I was. It's heroine. A herod heroine, herringbone.

What was a cutely dressed? Is that herringbone? Acutely distressing. acutely distressing acutely distressing Harry be harrowing Harrowing or harrowing harrowing harrowing Harrowing harrowing Harrowing harrowing harrowing on harrowing And what was last one. In her follicles. Hair again.

Mm-hmm. Mr. Wilson. Mr. Wilson, uh, Mr. Wilson from the distance. From the distance. No. No. After last name Wilson. Walter Mathau.

Hair. Walter Mathau. Owen? Yeah. Owen. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I see, I see. Mr. I see, I see, I see. I see, I see, I see. I see, I c. I see because there's a lot of Wilson's out there. iPhone assistant will

observe her actual recurring scorched Iranian currency breakfast grain Serial Siri Syrian cereal Siri cereal cereal cereal cereal cereal Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Siri, Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss I am breakfast grain cereal cereal put it all together You do it you fucking do it. You do it. I cereal. No, I can't Cerea I thought assistant will cereal cereal Observe her see her real actual yep real Syrian I'll just see her real cereal cereal cereal cereal cereal cereal cereal Yes, but I mostly eat as it as a little treat everyone's a while I think Coco Pebbles are the or the king of cereals. Wow

It's the tastiest and it also turns the milk into chocolate milk. That's true. It's the food I forget exists the most. I forget to buy it. But every time I do, I love to have it in a little mug before bed. Sweet treat. I don't. I can't buy cereal because it will not last a day. Like I could eat a box of cereal in like 10 hours and I would be like, what did you have to eat today? I go, oh cereal for three meals. Oh yeah, you shouldn't do this. But I do love granola. Granola, I have a lot of. Granola is to eat today? I go, oh, cereal for three meals. I was like, oh, yeah, you shouldn't do this. But I do love granola. Granola, I have a lot of. Granola is very good.

Mark, do you eat cereal? I don't, before that same reason is, I would just devour too much of it. Because I like it. It kind of doesn't matter which cereal it is, by the way, I would go to the house, a box of cereal, no problem. Cereal is on a house that'll find you. My go to, if I'm in it, have a cereal,

is a raisin brain crunch, I love that. But the sugary cereals, I can't even fuck with that all anymore, especially like Captain Crunch. What that does to the roof of your mouth is like, it should be taken off the mark. It feels so good. What does it do to the roof of your mouth? It scrapes it up.

It is big. Really? It feels great. It's up. It is really. It feels great. You don't like that. That's long gone. Did you have the class in it? I think there might be. Have you tried the magic spoon? Yes.

Yes, we have. And it was very good. Those are good. But again, it didn't, just because it wasn't like, you know, made of carbohydrates, didn't stop me from eating an entire box of magic spoon. Also probably not the way they want you to consume it. Yeah.

Cause it's like, it's serial that it's like, hey, it's got protein in it. It's like, good. Well, I just ate 400 grams of protein. So you can actually be lifting like cars off of babies or how do you think protein works? I will say with Coco Pebbles, absolute hands down favorite cereal of all time you have I want to say you have a 45 second window to eat it Um, so if I pour myself a bowl and like Gemma walks in the room. I have to be like Shhh and like scarf it down because after 45 seconds it becomes in edible sludge like the crispy's

Uh, become so or I'm sorry the pebblesbbles become so swollen with milk. They just become the most flippant disgusting. Hey, man, don't say that. Don't you cannot cover pebbles if you want to advertise with us. Kasing, can we add bleeps to it, Edel said that. I really want to bleep that phrase out. It's by what I said. Yeah, Toro. With milk.

I actually hate that. All right, so thank you, great D for those word avalanches. We're going to move on to Zev, they he, they sent in some word avalanches as well. Nice to meet you. A crow that's really excited about getting the coronavirus. A raving raven coronavirus. Are they called like COVID, COVID, COVID on what are they called?

Corvados. That's a tiny coffee. You dove in head first here, pal. And the bottom of the pool is approaching I Think Corvid are you thinking of Corvid? Yes Corvid. So a Raven Raven Corvid that last one has Covid Well, how was it for avid? COVID Corvid

Avid okay, wait what? Is that the answer? Yes, it's not a. Yes. It's not a raving raven. No, it's not a raving raven. Avid COVID Corvid. These aren't word avalanches. Yes, they are. They're the ones that rhyme because this is misleading because they don't always have to be the same word They can also have little rhyming things in them. Okay. No, okay. These are little rhyme, rhyme, rivallanches. Yeah, rhyme Alanches, right? If you're ever ever do rhyme a lunch, make sure you pee. So if it starts to drip down, you know that you're upset down. Wow, that's actually really good advice if you ever read a rhyme a lunch.

Wait a minute. Are you saying that if you're ever in an avalanche, you should try to pee so you know which direction is down. That's the only advice they give is pee. They say try not to move so you don't like disrupt it and fall further down into a cavernous abyss, which I'll stop talking about, or P, so you can tell which way is up. There's also like a little, there's a vest thing that you can wear that has like a little oxygen tube that like near people will wear sometimes and if they're in an avalanche zone,

because if they're trapped under the, you suffocate. So there's like a little like air, I can't remember why I know this, but there's just sort of like a thing, it's like a vest that inflates, and then you can breathe for a while. Are you talking about a Saint Bernard? Yeah.

I feel like if I was in avalanche, I wouldn't have to pee all of a sudden. Yeah, what if I did not have to pee? Yeah. You poop. I don't think that works. Yeah, but you can either pee and figure out what direction you're in.

Or you can poop, figure out the same information. The poop's not gonna help because I ate two boxes of magic spoon before we went on the, and I am, it's not gonna go up or down. It's just gonna be still. I. It's just gonna, it's gonna be still. I would love to be in an avalanche for someone that starts pooping in,

like what are you doing? Like, I heard it on a podcast. Can't pee. What are you supposed to do as you're supposed to poop your pants? No. No. It's like, I can see the light. I can see the sun.

What are you doing? There's a helicopter. Now that, that could be the sudden helicopter, or that could be the stars, because we're so deep underwater right now that it's all circling. Okay. Okay.

Well, let's get through this. All right. A robber who steals steak really fast. It's a rhyming one. Okay. Robert. Okay. Larceny.

Larceny. Larceny. Hahaha. Rebisory. Um, a sirloin, a, a, a, a sirloin perloin. Oh. Garso.

Arsso. Larsa. Hahaha. Well,, Arsso. Larso. Well, that's the title of the episode. Aaron, could you read the riddle one more time? Yes. A robber who steals steak really fast. A burger burger. Oh.

No. Oh. It's a beef thief. It's a brief thief. Yes, really fast. Yeah, you got it. Wow. What a brief thief.

Wow. Aaron beef thief. A. Wow, a brief, brief. A brief, brief. A country of trees that wear head armor. Country of trees. A forest tree. A helmet country of trees that wears a helmet. A country doesn't necessarily, I don't think that this is maybe the best word for this. Two-lane turrets.

Sort of a magical way of saying country. Real? Can you think of it better? It's the Elm, it's the Elm, Elm. Yeah, El way of saying country. Can you think it's better? It's the Elm, Elm realm. Yeah, realm of hell, man. Holy shit. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You eat them? Hahaha. An Eastern European country's vote on signposts. On signposts. Excuse me.

An Eastern European country's vote on signposts. Post. Mmm. Mmm. Boat. And that would be pole pole pole. Mmm. Post pole pole.

Post pole pole. Post pole pole. A mediocre... A mediocre offer for a Tupperware's cover. Mid-mid-mid. Yeah, mid-mid-mid. A mid-mid-mid. Incredible.

Let me get a mid-mid-mid. I only have six dollars. I know that's a $12 lid. Well, I give up a top-of-war party is you just bring all your top-of-war over to a friend's house and then they do a blind bit. A Raven, Avaan and Avaan Raven. Do you want to make up one? Mark, do you want to make up a word, Avalid? No. Too much pressure. You definitely don't need to. Addle, you want to make one up?

JPC? I think, okay, I think I want to. What I need 10 minutes, do we have? Okay. Garçon. Arson, Larson. Okay, I have one. Are you ready?

Yeah. This is a Christian actor using a directing tool on a rock in a quarry, but we don't like him. Kavizel's easel. Vin Diesel's Kavizel easel. Easel easel. And sorry, by Christian actor, it's not the religion. Okay. Bale. Bale, bale, bale, bale. I should have gone that direction.

This is a Christian actor whose famous, because their mom is the number one casting agent in the house. No, Aaron was giving you advice. So what to do with this? Oh fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail Miss think mr. Robot Malik or Heather's oh Yeah, Slater Slater Slater Slate what was the last part? So it's a Christian actor using a directing tool. Slate. Yeah. On a rock found in a quarry. Slate. Slate. Slater. But we don't like him. Slate.

Yeah. So put it all together. Slate. Slate. Slate. Slate. Slate. Slate. Slate. Slate. Sl Slater Slater Slater Slater Slater Slater Slater Hater I think. Well, it's hard to make this up. I gotta say, it's hard to improvise those, especially with very little support. No, no, no. You did great. You did great. You did great.

I didn't even make one up. So, you're perfect the way you are Yes, bust out that pedal still guitar. It's sick it That's the guitar you can play while seated right? Well, I guess you could play any guitar Is that true do you play any guitar seated? Yeah, probably probably kid that's wrong. No, but that's only you can only play it seated. Yeah, probably probably kid. No, but you can only play it seated. Yeah, that's right. For now.

It's a riddle in and of itself. Oh, that's what a pedal is still guitar is. I did. I truly was like, I think I know what that is. Until you said seated, no, I'm like, okay, no, I definitely know what that is. You were like a thimble or something, right? And you saw it. You were finger picks and a thumb pick and then on your right hand and your left hand

has a bar. Bless you. I'm allergic to country music. But it's almost like a keyboard guitar. What made you, sorry. What made you decide to play that instrument? Like, did you know someone who played it or did someone in a band that you liked to play it?

Did you lose a bet? Well, I was liked it and I sort of like didn't know what it is, but it's like it's in like songs like tiny dancer. There's some massive hits that have pedal seal that are not country songs and I did not actually grub listening to like heavy metal and Was not into country and there's still some country stuff. I don't know, but Let's see like a band like son volt There's some pedal seal on one of their records that I just went like, what is that?

What is that? What is that? And once I finally put it together, I'm like, oh, and then years went by, and I moved to LA, and then I went to a guitar center, and they had one, and the salesman basically begged me to take it home. It's like, that's just been sitting in here,

no one wants it. So I took it home and pretty much right away was like, what's that? I did have to pay for it. Oh, yes. Then I think you got played. Well, I mean, they are a, they're a retail location. It's sort of how they do transactions all day long

for goods that they have. Guitar center. I don't know, Mark. I've never had to pay a guitarist. Half man, half guitar. I'm always like a band t-shirt and they're like this guy's cool as hell. Do you want a harmonica? I'm like, I guess I'll think of that. So you took it on Mark? Yeah, I learned how to play it. It took some lessons, but it's a lot of just time. It's a lot of sitting behind that thing and trying to figure it out.

It's like a musical riddle truly. That's so cool. Beautiful. Well, Mark, do you want to? Oh, good. Yeah, you had me at sitting, but you lost me at the whole practicing. Yeah, well, deal. Well, Mark, do you want to plug your band in anything else you'd like to plug or promote? Ah, let's see.

You can listen to Superigo, wherever you get podcasts. You can listen to Pistol Shrimps Radio and or mall walkin' anywhere you listen to it. I'm also working on Mr. Andy Daly's podcasts, which are on Patreon. Some of them are free, but many of the funny, really great stuff that he's doing is on his

Patreon. And you'll have to figure out what that is, because I don't know it off the top of my head. I think it's patreon.com slash Andy daily. It might be that simple. That would make sense. Yeah. But Andy, in a character with some other characters, is doing a Bonanza rewatch podcast where they

are going to watch every episode of Bonanza, the longest-roying television show in history. And it's insane. Yeah, it's like, isn't it like 450 episodes or something crazy like that? Yes, and they intend to do a rewatch of the whole series. It's bonkers. It's really fun to work on. I play with a band called Stetson Wolf. I play with a band called Mason Profit. I play with a band. I play with a lot of different bands. So just, you can follow me on the Instagrams and the Twitter's at Mark McConville, all post stuff

and you can look for it. Hell yeah. And are you mostly when you're playing in bands? Are you mostly playing in LA? Or are you, do you do any touring around the rest of the country? No touring, as of right now, just mostly local and some session stuff.

And yeah, I like it here. That was a touring test and you passed. You're not a robot. Aaron, do you have anything you want to plug or promote? I want to plug sitcom D&D. We just finished season three. If you want to check that out. Addle anything to plug? I want to plug, hello for the magic tavern,

please check out our Patreon as well. You can check out also a brand new podcast I started with other world news tonighters, Rob White and Brett Lyons, the three of us have a new podcast called The Word Association. You can find that wherever you find podcasts. Check us out on Twitter and Instagram at TWAPod. And you can also check out the game show podcasts. Tell me about

it with a different Adlerify and, and JPC, do you have a, a smarter, taller Adlerify? More refined, a more, oh, refined, Adlerify. Yeah, I got my Adlerify, yeah. Yeah, fucked up. JPC, anything you want to plug or review, you want to read? Look, I'll read a five star review. You want to get a five star review featured on the show. Just go to Apple iTunes, where does a five star review? You can literally put anything in that, and I'll probably read it. As an example, I'm reading this one from Majora15, permission to use my name.

As we all know, I JPC am not an actually a human. I am, however, a seahorse. Aaron, Adam, I'm very happy to announce that a human. I am however a sea horse. Aaron, Adam, I'm very happy to announce that I am pregnant. We just got the news last week and I couldn't wait to tell you. I'm very excited for this next step in my life and wanted to take this time to warn you that my seahorse tummy will get bigger in the coming months, as it is the male sea horse's duty to carry the babies to term. So please be patient with me as I may have to get more often to pee in the future as well as beginning to eat weird

foods during recordings. Thank you. I'm so excited. And thank you, Majora 15. Great review. I'm really mentioning how the podcast is good, but it doesn't matter. Five stars. A pregnant seahorse should really spend some time in an avalanche zone.

I was just going to say it. Truly. Everybody rushing to the pregnant seah horse peeing upside down joke I was slow I was out of breath in the back sort of trying to sprint up do you guys Aaron do you happen to know this is a fun little science fact? Do you happen to know which planet has the most pregnant Seahorse avalanches earth No, you but erca by the most pregnant seahorse avalanches? Earth! Now, Cuba d'Arca, bye! Bye forever! Hey there wild-style's and ping-weenies!

If you like that, you're gonna love this week's Patreon. It's another episode of our public access. Well, kind of. Anyway, you can listen to that plus our entire Bat Catalog at patreon.com.share it over Patreon. It's another episode of our public access. Well, kind of. Anyway, you can listen to that plus our entire Bat Catalog at patreon.com.shareed.riddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7-day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Any of those head-free episodes. See you there! That was a Hate Gum podcast.