Hey Riddle Riddle - #264: Lightning Strikes Out

Episode Date: August 9, 2023

Here we go again! Another episode of Hey Riddle Riddle! In this episode we have a very angry leaf, a cowardly killer, and an orchestra conductor that's been struck by lightning. Oh... and the RETURN OF JP RIDDLES!!!! Starring: Adal Rifai John Patrick Coan Erin Keif Editing by:  Casey Toney Theme by:  Arne Parrott Logo by:  Emily Kardamis & Emmaline Morris Want more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon! Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & prints Want to mail us something?  Hey Riddle Riddle  6351 W Montrose Ave #267 Chicago, IL, 60634 Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531) Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fm This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/riddle and get on your way to being your best selfSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgun podcast. Oh come right in, Mr. Denyfire, H-A-P-C. Oh yes. Aaron's pretending to be a butler to win us back. So just play along. Mr. Denyfire, got it. How are you doing today? Well, hello, my lord. That may I just say, you're finished your drink of water

before you addressed Mr. Delaishar. Oh, sorry. Yeah. And down my new, I mean, not my new, I've had this suit a long time. I didn't keep the tags off. Oh, so it's gonna be new. Right.

And my Lord, can I just say you two are the funniest tallest comedians I've ever seen. Oh, thank you so much. It's so nice of you to say. I don't think anybody's called us tall since, JBC, would you say Aaron Keefe? Yeah, you know what? I would, and I just wanted to say to you, Adel,

when she's out of earshot, how much I really enjoy Aaron on the show. So, I think she's very sorry for whatever she did to her, too. And I'm sure she'd love to come back on the share. Well, that's the thing. And I'm mostly talking to JPC now. So Mr. Denyfire, you can kind of, but I feel like, I love Aaron so much. I feel like she's so, she's so sweet, she's so funny. She's so warm and generous and just, she's everything I want. But if I ever saw her, I don't know if I'd say that to her face because, you know, kind of, we would kind of have this like little thing go on. Mm-hmm.

The three of us, we all just kind of, you know, poke a tea. So I don't know if I'll ever sit there. I think that would mean an awful lot to her, my lord of booze. You spilt some water on your face. Yes, my lord. Mr., Mr. Tonightfire're your face it it appears to be Melting off. I don't want to say melting it. I don't you're slapping off speaking of melting. Let me go get you some ice cream Sundays I don't want to melt an ice cream sunday. Oh

What's the vibe what's the vibe here you think I? He's gone you He's gone. You said errr. Oh, someone's at the door. Let's see who it is. Yeah. Oh, you're changing inside the house. We can see. Yeah, we can see. Oh god. Okay. Hey guys. I'm Adora Fy. That's JPC. There's Mr. Denyfire halfway morphing into Aaron. Keith, and welcome to another episode of Hey Riddle Riddle. Hello.

Hello. When you said Denyfire at first, I was like, what is this? What's going on? It took me a full couple of beats before I was like, this is a Mrs. Doubtfire layout. Can I tell you? I almost went with Mr. Denyflame.

And then I was like, Mr. Denyflame and then I was like Mr. Denyflame is too long a road for anyone to figure out what I'm going for. So I was like let me keep one of the words which is fire and I as a synonym for doubt and even still I think I was like I hope this makes sense that she's looking back her kids. I loved it. I got it. I understood. Aaron I think that would make a great Halloween costume for you. Yeah. Could you tell how well? How good my acting was that I understood what you were going for? I did so good in that opening. I'm trying to win an Emmy.

Oh, do they have those for podcasts? Oh my gosh. This changes everything. Well, they don't have Emmys for podcasts, but they do have like the equivalent of a podcast. Emmy. Oh, but it's a play. Yeah, it's probably like a kids choice podcast award. I'm ready to get into some riddles. I am. Wait, what the fuck?

What are you just like that, Aaron? Yeah. Oh, everyone's kind of scared. And I'm ready. No, I'm ready. Now, I guess I'm ready. Yeah. I'm ready. And I guess I'm ready. Yeah. I'm ready to be whipped in the shape, because we don't do a lot of riddles anymore.

I think it's time we hit the road. I think we still do a lot of riddles. I think we still do a lot of riddles. I feel like we still do a lot of riddles. All right. That's because you were confused by my setup for Mr. Denyfeier. Aaron, how many fucking times do we have to say that we're ready? Okay. Stop asking.

This is an I-Fry-A-R-O. Nevermind. Go ahead. Okay. I have a thousand arms, a thousand legs, and 500 heads. Who am I? Fucked up bug. Insane.

Insane bug. Insane fucked up bug. Two bugs smushed together together two millipedes fucking Millipede fucking millipede fucking bill of feed fucking bill of feed fuck and time it took let's see Five minutes in 33 seconds to get to millipede fucking whoever had that You win arid a free space air. That's the free space That you win Errin free space there. That's the free space thousand legs thousand legs 500 heads. Is that right?

Thousand arms thousand legs 500 heads. What am I? The the cast game friends You'll hate this answer. Oh, it is this is this like 500 people hugging or I wish people hugging me. I'll read it one more time and give you the answer. I have a thousand arms, a thousand legs and 500 heads. Who am I? I am a liar.

Wow. I thought that would really upset you. That's the tone that you wanted to start the episode off with. Mm-hmm. That's not a riddle. I actually like this because it keeps on our toes because now we feel we're not crazy. Some riddles are terrible.

Yep. Yeah. I think this sets a good. Totally up from here. All right. Next slide. This is like that script on Blood of the Clock Tower when you can execute the storyteller. It's like, come on.

What are we talking about here? Did the rules mean nothing anymore? Walk on living they don't even mumble walk on the dead they mutter and grumble what are they these are liars these are another set of fucking wires oh I broke him I heard there are no rules who can I even believe who do I trust up is down and down is left um walk on the living they don't even believe. Who do I trust? Up is down and down is left. Walk on the living and they don't say a word. So there's a mumble. Would this be like a masseuse?

Like when they walk on your back. But if they're dead, you'd like, break their bones because they're brittle. When a masseuse walks on your back, you don't even mumble. I don't wanna be wrong. Walk on the living, they don't even mumble. Walk on the dead, they mutter and grumble.

I do wanna see a scene. Adel, it's your first time at a masseuse. You kind of don't really know what to expect your little resident and Aaron, you're a very unconventional masseuse. Hello. Okay, hi. Thank you so much for coming in. Yeah. I'm going to, if you want to step out,

I'm going to undress to my comfort level and lay on the table. Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I thought you're here for massage too. Let me get, um. Oh no, no, I'm the massage therapist, but I'm sort of having a day. I'll see you like help the masseuse

deal with their family problems. Nope, I was just thought I would get on the table and you would give me a massage Whatever I've never had one so whatever however this goes you tell me Yeah, you give me a massage and do it how you would want someone to do to you and if I don't fall asleep That I'll give you a massage after okay, and just so I'm I have this right because I want to make sure I'm not shorting you This is a hundred and eighty dollars an hour. Oh Oh my gosh, I've got why you would think that this is insane and feels crazy. It is $380 an hour.

More, and I pay you. Yeah, oh my gosh, yes. And then a tip is like expected. Demanded, yes. Okay, let me, okay. All right, let me just get my sleeves rolled up here. And I'm going to put some butter on my hands because I assume you're all using all the time.

Yes. Get some butter on my hands and let's, is there anywhere you don't want me to put butter? No, just like shoulder neck, that's great. Great, okay. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Sorry. What did I?

Oh, keep going. Oh. Was, uh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh you would just take a couple minutes and it will, and it could affect, it could affect the price of your massage. So that's, that's nice, maybe get a little discount. And on the clipboardy here it says the questionnaire to fill it out is $50. That's the fee, yes, but that's the upfront fee. And you can trust that you could make some of your money back on the questionnaire. Because it's possible.

It's like a game. Yeah. OK. All right, so first question. How much butter did you use today? Uh, well, I'd say three sticks. Three sticks. OK, so that's going to be a, that, that's going to be an additional charge.

That's, of course. OK. OK, did you wash your hands? In butter? OK, that's even more expensive than soap in today's economy. Of course, that makes sense. That makes sense.

Okay, honey, I can't believe we're getting away. Oh my gosh, you're still doing the questionnaire. Okay, I'm not going. Sorry. What were you doing? I'm not sorry. No, no, no, nothing. All she wanted to say was that we are so glad that you came in today.

The total for all the butter and everything included is a $500 even. And don't worry about tip, we already put tip in there. And then you just sit down and write where I'm sitting and be the receptionist for the rest of the day. Just go ahead and check in everybody to do the questionnaire with them. Make sure that their credit card goes through. Sure.

And I'll say just for, so you know, because when I was coming in here, the sign on the door did say for rent and it seems like it was actively for rent. Um, so I don't know if that's going to sort of dissuade customers from popping in like for rent. That's the name of the store. It's for rent.

For sale. For sale. No, for rent. For rent. Where's for rent? We're a new kind of a sage, partner. Yeah, but not one you should tell like anyone from the city about Okay, no, you know the city are you?

Yeah, I'm from the city. I'm from the city, but I'm a rube All right walk on the living they don't even mumble walk in the dead they muttering grumble what are they? Might as well be walking on the dead um Is this like, and like some sort of this one so so fucking familiar? I'm sure I'm almost 100% positive. We've done this on the show. Then what I'm sure. Oh, but yeah, I don't know any of them. But it does sound like something I should know. Yeah, you did.

This definitely could have been done on the show before, but I like this one, so. This is good. Is this have anything to do with graveyards or cemeteries or anything? No, it has to think of like, what is something that is alive? Walk on the living, they don't even mumble. Walk on the dead.

What's alive? What are some things that are alive? People, bugs, insects, bugs, ideas, not animals or people are bugs Plants yes plants are leaves leaves wow This is amazing. I love this one. I'd like to see a scene. Adel you are a guy going on a really luxurious autumn walk See you soon, Adel, you are a guy going on a really luxurious autumn walk. Uh, JPC, you're a dead leaf that he steps on and I want, uh, you're not too happy that he's stepping on you. Okay.

Hedgemeer sweater on. Starbucks pumpkin latte in hand. All bird snickers comfortably wrapped inside my meryl boots. Ah, fall. Oh. Oh. I guess, fuck me. Oh. Oh no, I'm so I saw. What the hell? No, I saw a pile of leaves. I can't. No, I'm good. No, I'm good. Oh. Keep walking. Should we exchange number? Yeah, I believe so. Let me find insurance claim from my fucking spine, which is all crumble loving fucks now. Oh, um, let me, oh, looks around.

What's your name as home? Picks up some dirt. Here's some of your money for you. I think we're good here. Oh good, this guy's trying to bury me. they try to put me in the dirt no no no i thought dirt was like a form of my my name uh carol hey carol hey neighbor yeah hey uh i i was walking through your lawn um because i never see a pile of rake leaves i can't help but walk through it because that's satisfying crunch um did you install some sort of haunted uh three weeks to Halloween is there's some sort of speaker in here or something uh no please don't go on my lawn

satisfying crunch you some sort of fucking fucking massacres there's some shit I said you enjoy it huh just to get it I did know the crunch was your spines if I would have known that I never would have walked what else would the crunch be? I Honestly, I don't know I thought it was like cheaterones or like you know like when pig skin gets crispy I thought it was like skin like oh, so you like to burn the skin of pigs too you fucking sick Oh not personally, but I'll get stupid if it's you know why You fucking sicko! Not personally, but I'll can... ...sube it if it's...

...you know what? Lys, how can we make this... What? You put out your hand, I put something in your hand, this all goes away. What-what can I put in your hand? There's only one way to make this, right? You're not gonna like it. You step on my spine? No!

I love to do that, but I'm a leaf! That-that seems improbable! You pick up all my little pieces on the ground. Yes. You chew me up, you eat me, you swallow me, and I get to live inside you now. You're my new tree. You're my new tree home.

Hey, Carol. Yep. Is it OK if I eat some of your leaves? What's your deal, man? I will say I am on February. Yeah. There it is, huh? There it is. Startjori. There it is, huh? There it is.

Start with that. I just hear it. She's on the porch with a rake. She just took a break from breaking the leaves and you're in there just eating the leaves on the pile. She's texting her friends this guy again. So I got two more from this list. Okay.

What do you call? That was a great one. That's an all-timeer right there. I agree. What do you call? That was a great one. That's an all-timeer right there. I agree. What do you call a leprechaun's vacation home? A pot of gold is too obvious. A modus obvious. A shim.

Leprechaun's vacation home. End of the rainbow. Vacation home. Vacation home. Oh, time. Yeah. A time share. A time share. A time share. A condo vacation home. Oh, yeah, time. Yeah, time. A time share.

A time share. A condo. A left. A left. A left condo. A left condo. Yeah. A left.

A left condo. I like seeing. Oh, Aaron, is it a Marie condo except it's a left. No, it's not. I'm sorry. It's a very. Yeah. That's you.

You see your real estate agent and you are trying to sell Adel who is a leprechaun on a condo that you're showing. And Aaron, if I may, would you mind joining me in this thing? Because I think we haven't seen enough Aaron in scenes. No, you know, I am busy that day. I'm actually looking at my calendar. Okay, yeah, I know, it's right now, but you know, that makes sense. I'm going to make you Carol again, don't worry. I'm gonna make you Carol again don't worry. I know I was hoping to be

Okay, so this is the place. It's got Western facing windows So you're gonna get some of that nice afternoon light I'm so sorry Nothing to apologize for Oh, the worst enemy. I-I'm so sorry. Oh, I- Nothing to apologize for. Oh, the washing machine. Does the washing machine, does it take high to tide? High to tide paths.

Ah, yeah, it's a washing machine. I think it takes pretty much any type of detergent that you'd want to put in the washing machine. Of course, this is- Ah, it comes with the unit. What a unit, yes. No, that's a certain size. What else?

Okay, um, so, well, that's the end of the tour as it were. Or at the end of the tour. That's is where I hide, be more used. Okay, yeah, again, that's, I guess that's more of the, you take up with the bank. Um, not really. Yes, I mean, no banks for me. I don't trust them Me pot of mortgages what I have here my cold ring of mortgage right here deep your hands into the pot of mortgage and feast you lad Okay, no, I'm not gonna be putting my hand in your bucket. Uh, I don't, I don't really know. What is this, what is it?

It's a KFC, it's a KFC bucket. Well, it was a KFC bucket, but the minute I put money it became me a pot of more, can I ask you something, our pets are loud. It's a house. Yeah. But that's allowed in the house. Yeah, would you buy it? Oh, look, did, did Rick send you?

Oh? Are you another, are you another fuck, are you another person Look did did Rick send you Oh, are you another are you another fuck are you another person? You're just trying to like fuck with my numbers cuz I really am trying to sell this place. No, but I'd Rick He got me. He grabbed on to me. He latched on and he guessed my real name. See you know better for oh yeah I know you do know Rick. So you're admitting that you know Rick. Well, well, well you figured me out You fuck. You two this every week, Rick. Why can't, look, I'm sorry. I didn't poach your sale.

Your client just chose me. It's nothing that I did to you. It's impersonal. You poached my sale. I did it. You did. And now I defined a real leprechaun to help me Sabotage you

He's got a KFC bucket full of what I'm talking with Bull shit your five nine I'm five seven if you five-nine, I'll eat my fucking hat. Oh, is that a promise? Oh, I see what this is. Can I go? No. Oh, you're part of this. You're part of this now, Leprechaun.

Get my tape measure. Get my tape measure. I'm going to eat my hat if I'm wrong about you being five ten Get your tape measure you do you keep your stuff in this house? Are you living here? Now I see it now I'm gonna Just try this place. No, no Stompers the stovers in the trash Stovers in the trash

All right, you were in the garden. There are 34 people. You were, I did, I saw, I saw it. You see, I saw you. Stoepers in the trash, sleeping bag of the beans. You were in the garden. There are 34 people in the yard. You killed 30. How many people are in the garden?

Wow. This is okay. I hate this one. And this is using me. So I'm hoping that you can help me understand it. Are you the only one in the garden? Everyone else is in the yard? I don't know. Is it gardening in the air?

Aaron, what do you mean I don't know? I can't do my guess the answer. And you said, I don't know. And here's what I'll ask Aaron is the answer a concrete number? Or is it some sort of like surely I can't tell because the, et cetera, et cetera. No, it's a concrete number. But, Jay, what did you say?

Because you might have said the right answer. I said one. Yes, one. Yeah. Only the killer, only one, the killer. I see, I see. If he killed 30, the other four would have run away so the killer would be the only one left.

But, wait, wasn't there a delineation between Garden and Yard? I know, this is what I'm saying. It's this one. Garden. I do want to see a scene. Okay. Aaron, you are, there's sort of a lawn part, like a housewarming party in a lawn and JPC's lawn.

And as he's sort of mingling and making the rounds, he does notice you like in his bushes with a knife and he's coming over to chat with him. Hey sorry sorry didn't mean to don't mean to alarm you. I'm Jeff. Hi. Hey this is my yeah this is my house. Hi yeah love love love. Beautiful paint colors. Is that Benjamin Moore? It is, yeah, it's Benjamin Moore. Say, hey, you know, we have so many burgers that, like, you know, we just have it over abundance. We have some beer. I couldn't have been noticed for the last couple of hours. You've been kind of in these bushes over here.

I just want enough, maybe you'd like to come into the party and join people, meet people. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, that's fine, that's fine. I came over here to ask if I could borrow a knife. Well, you have a knife and it looks like you're gripping that thing pretty hard. Your whole hand's wide. That's where my knife went.

Yeah, really big grip on that knife. Hey, looking for your glasses and then they're on your head the whole time that you're wearing them and you're looking for your glasses. That's one of these classic situations. Hey, you know what? Why don't we do this? Why don't you put the knife down, we'll just leave it right here on the ground, where

you have it now. Come in out of the bushes, come into the joy of the party. Do you have plans today? I had a plan. Yeah, did you? Yeah. Yeah, I had a plan. Yeah, did you? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I had a plan. Yeah.

Did you kind of maybe lose your nerve to do your plan? Yeah. Yeah. Because you've been watching me for the past couple of hours. Kind of watching me have the way I interact with my guests. So I'm not really a, I don't want to, I'm going to use a phrase that I promise you. I never use and it's not a phrase that I think that you have used before.

It's just a phrase that's coming to mind. I'm not a big phony as someone may have painted on my garage a couple weeks ago. That's not who I am. Oh, whoa. And it doesn't matter. Have one said that. I don't know and it doesn't matter. Why don't you come meet some people?

Have fun. Think I could have a burger and undo my plan. I think you can, but here's what I'm gonna say. Chris, and I'm taking a wild guess that your name is Chris. Is your name Chris? Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna say you have one of these burgers, Chris.

I don't think you're gonna wanna do your plan. That's all I'm thinking. Oh, okay. Yeah. I love you. Yeah. I know. And hey, isn't it hard to get a new neighbor?

Yeah, it's not hard to get a new neighbor. I love your idea. I love your idea. The most understanding guy. Just so patient. I love the idea of like, John Wilkes Booth, like, sitting in a room in the Ford

Theater and someone's like, hey buddy, do you have a plan? He's like, yeah, you lose your nerve. Yeah. You want to watch the play and maybe you'll change your mind? Yeah, me. I want to play. Yeah, I want to play. Maybe I gave my mind. You tired? Yeah, I want to play in there maybe I change my mind. But we're not going to shoot the president are we? No, we joke but that's how men literally are. Men who do that are children. Men will literally shoot the president instead of going to therapy. Yep.

What time is it? No, it's not. Not break? It's not break that yet. Well then this is not going to be a graceful time to do. Is it? No, it's not. It's not break. It's not break then. Look at that. Well, then this is not going to be a graceful time to do this. But we are, we're not done with Molly's Riddles books, but we're going to, we have a lot of Riddle books that have been brought to shows, live shows, by different people.

So now we're going to move on to Emily's Riddle book. So hit us with that theme, Arnie. It's time for these riddle books. We don't have a riddle books theme for Emily yet. We just don't. It's KC. We don't have one yet. Okay, it'll be here next time, but we don't right now, so just fucking get over it, I'm all you got, okay, right now. You and we are in this together, okay, and I'm not stuck in here with you, you're stuck in here with me with Emily's riddles. Thank you, Arnie.

Great. And where were those last fucking riddles from? Because those were... They were from my butt. Oh, no, no, no to three. And I'll only agree to six. OK, three plus six is nine. And I agree six. All right. All right.

Oh, also, the air in those last riddles, I think I have pink eye now. Where did you say that from? Never mind. This chapter is called Lightning Strikes Out. This is a vintage book of sciencey riddles. And so let's go into the lightning section of it. Science, the one thing that you want to be vintage. Vintage science never approved a pot again. Okay.

Tubes and nodes. If lightning strikes an orchestra, who is most likely to get hit? Okay, so JBC, remember this is science based. So the metal closest to the heavens gets struck first. So that would be like the yellow or the conductor has a metal wand, but out of remember it's a riddle. So it's a misdirect. So who is most likely to get hit?

I'm going to say the orchestra company with a huge lawsuit for wrongful lightning strike. That is correct. Oh, is that correct? Yes. I'm gonna say the concert hall because if they're indoors, the roof will absorb the lightning, we hope. No.

Okay. So this is an outdoor orchestra performing in a lightning store. Is this like baseball rules? It's like it's raining pretty hard But we didn't see lightning so we don't pack it in I'm gonna roll up the orchestra's a turf I'm gonna say that can if this is like a real if this is science-based I'm gonna go with a conductor because they they probably have some the most height with her if they have a metal Whatever you call that they're a little baton or magic wand. Right.

Don't straight into it. And then still you got the right answer, but the conductor because it conducts electric TV. If you ever watch an orchestra concert or has a conductor, try and blur out the rest of the band and just look at the conductor and they look like a little wizard, like a fancier wizard. For real. Yeah. I'd like to see a scene. Hey guys

Hey, real quick though. And this is just GPC talking, but like that's that's not how it works, right? Is a conductor conductor? Or is that real? Is that real? That's the key to the fact that it was back then. Back then, you were chipped and if you're a conductor, you were chipped. Okay. Okay. I'd like to see a scene. GPC, you're an orchestra conductor and you've just been struck by lightning, but you're trying to play it off like you have it. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No, Brian. No, no, keep going. Hey, tables, tables. Why are you sitting down?

Tables, tables. Do you mean soldiers? I'll do the simplest. I'll do the simplest. If you can do the simplest. Settle cracks. Brian, hey Brian. No, you gotta lay down. Right side, right side of the orchestra. Take a break. You're obviously the right side of your face is drooping. I think you know buddy said that just no that's for that that's for the song Josh let him get let him try let let's just let him try for 30 seconds and then we'll tell him to stop all right But I want this recording. You should be playing trombone. You shouldn't be up here. Sit back down and play trombone Okay, I'm now I'm gonna turn around

Right side of the orchestra take a break left side pick it up left side pick it up Cuz I've turned it around now I'm gonna left side You're just pointing at us again Where are we at in the music? Okay pause pause the music excuse me ladies and gentlemen Excuse me for one second. Well I talked to my orchestra guys. Do you want to be here? He's facing the audience now Come on I know we all got stuff to deal. We can all be at the hospital. We're getting the medicine that we need. I'm a doctor. You're

not sure. No, sir. Sit back. Sir in the audience. Please sit down. Tonight you're just enjoying your time. You paying a lot of money for the orchestra. We're gonna keep the bagel. Oh, go ahead again. Hey, it fixed me. I'm all better now. I'm better on both sides. What? Hold on what face symbols? Slibbles. Slibbles. I fixed me. Honestly, Sarah, honestly, Sarah, that was pretty close. And a two in the fruit and a root and a group. No, some wrong. No, some wrong. Symbols. Crash them. You know what folks pause.aws, everyone. There's no, I'm sorry. Waving your wand, we Paws. I'm sorry, everybody, that my band is so unprofessional.

I'm gonna lay down right now. I'm gonna take a little five-minute micro nap. It's gonna be so brief. I just need to take off. Once you take off the others you take off my shirt. Fold it. Fold my shirt. Boss, what is it? Just go to the hospital.

We'll try to get the backup conductor to continue. Is no. You want Pete to come out here. He doesn't even know what he's doing. Great, then let's just take it from the top. Just try to start us over. Sarah, hey Sarah, Sarah, I can see his brain is starting to leak out of his...

Let him try. That's fast. OK, are we ready? Are we ready? We're ready. Are we ready Are we ready? We're ready. We're ready. I think we're the villains here. We're ready. And a fire, and a fire, and the sneeze, and the wires. That was actually very good. To-to-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- This has been Brian Celtsor, Orchard Scrum. He's floating up to the ceiling.

And we're going up to the ceiling. Look under your chairs. Everyone has keys to a brand new fornari. No, don't do that. I'm going to take a little. It's going to be a three minute quick quick quick quick quick nap. Quick nap. Three minute nap. And I'll take a quick bow.

Oh boy. Oh what. Oh what what? Have a little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, I absolutely loved that guy who's used to start by lightning sure Gasey said how old laughing I knew I knew is that funny. Okay, this is just bouncing around inside of him causing more and more damage Belting melting melting What is the difference between electricity and lightning? charge Charge Boy is it now hold on is this another word play or is this science because I was full before I don't know man What's the difference between electricity and lightning well, there's a lot it's a little like

That's the answer feels a little like in my hand Something like Benjamin Franklin and the key or something? No. Is the answer conductor again? Yeah, it's gotta be conductor. I'll tell you what it is. Is it, could it be transducer? That could be something. No, one, I'll just say that,

one is free and one is not, and that's the answer. You have to pay for electricity, you don't have to pay for lightning. You pay for it, that conductor paid for it. In many ways, in many ways have to pay for lightning. Okay, for it. That can have to be paid for it. In many ways, in many ways you can pay for it. Anyhow, what, honestly, I think we have to take a little break for us to get paid for it and run some ads.

And I'm gonna listen to live, remember live that song Lightning Crashers? Yeah. Yeah, live is the band, band lightning crashes is the song. Whichever. You know that they never performed live. Or they always performed live. One of me always performs live. The other is always the band live. Wait, was it live? I only saw the album. Live live! Live. What do you think you're a Rick-O-Brick? He looks sleep, he looks sleep, he looks sleep.

Oh, Addle Aaron. Sorry, yeah, what could come right in? I was just finishing up my... Well, I don't mean to toot my own horn too much. Actually, do have to do that, make a note for the producer for later, but he looks sleep parody album is almost complete. Ooh, with such tracks as, I just say Laway in your song, but it's like a bunch of different versions. He looks sleep, he looks sleep, he looks sleep.

Oh, I love that. Damn, such a hear you say it because you sing it way better than I did. And I've already done like 45 hours of recording for this thing. Yeah, but it works. I too have a helix mattress. I have the midnight looks, and it's the best night sleep of my life. My sister recently slept in my bed, and she was like, where did you get your mattress?

I felt like I immediately fell asleep. The second I got in, it's so cozy and so comfortable and I went, well, I'd actually love to tell you. Wait, you have one? Oh my gosh, this album would have been so much easier to write if I had one. What am I doing? Yeah, and I gotta say, as a Helix user myself,

it's the best night's sleep I ever had. Huh? I released an album two years ago. It's called, it's a new yawn. It's all Helix sleep cover songs. But anyway, I took the he'll sleep quiz to get started and i was matched with a luxe mattress because i wanted something that fell a little more firm my cats sleep on the bed with me and i sleep on my side

so i need a little bit more comfort and cushion uh... they offer twenty unique matrices and they know that there's no better way to test out a new mattress them by sleeping on it in your own home that's why they offer a hundred-night trial in a 10 to 15-year warranty to try out your new helix mattress I could have just tried it for a hundred nights I've been up a hundred nights trying to write this album and the songs just won't come because I don't know What I'm writing about

KPC everybody is unique and everyone sleeps differently. And that's why Helix has several different mattress models to choose from each design for specific sleep positions and feel preferences. I'm a side sleeper and my midnight lux works perfectly for that. I am a don't sleeper, which is what happens when you don't sleep at all, because you have a deadline and you told the record company that you would have the album finished and you're really working to try to get it done and you just can't sing anymore. But don't take it from them, take it from me. Hi, I'm Yam Torque, the lead singer of

Hedyorette, because I'm asleep and Elix is offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for all listeners. Go to helixleap.com slash riddle. This is their best offer yet and it won't last long. With helix better sleep starts now. And Tom, when you said, or John, sorry, I almost called you Tom, that would make no sense. Can't we?

We said our listeners, do you be, Yadio Red or whatever you said, or Hey, Rode, or the podcast here, Rode, or the riddle? Let's say both Because I'm asleep Hey everybody out there. It's me Harry the razor and I'm looking forward to my next match And I've got a clean bill of health and a clean shaving head because I've been using Harry's razors Okay, I'm star struck.

You're at work, so don't be star struck. You're just manning the boom mic. And actually don't talk anymore because you're manning the boom mic. So can we get that part out? Will you say you're star strike? No. Okay, so that was a test that you felt.

Again, Harry, we love it. We love what you're doing. We love the voice. We love the you're doing. We love the voice. We love the production. Like given, God given. What we need though is we need more about the product, okay? You know, we really want to talk about Harry's as a company and kind of one day.

Like, you know, for instance, this morning when I got up, me, JPC to come to here to my job as a cutting wrestling promos, I used my Harry's trial kit that they sent me and I had a wonderful shaving experience. If you know me, I don't like to shave. I like to be bearded up, but everyone's in a while lining up your beard with that razor.

Oh my God, it's so great. It makes you look clean, it makes you look fresh. My wife immediately noticed, she said, oh, you shaved, and I said, oh, you shaved. And I said, oh, kind of sucks that it happened so quickly. They noticed. Yeah, what about you, boom, boom. Oh my gosh, she's talking to me.

Hey, Harry, I'm actually a huge fan. I shaved my life. I think to the mic, my armpits, with you. And it's just like, it was like the closest best shave. I felt very safe. It was great. It's a really good quality shave, and I'm sort of a razor snob,

and I would give you a 10 out of 10. Oh, so you know, you probably wouldn't hear me say my famous line. No matter why you shave, Harry's has you covered for the best shave of your life at a price you'll love. Yeah, no. So cool.

Okay, can we, can you also mention your, your love. Yeah, no. So cool. Okay. Um, can we, can you also mention your, you know, your, your, your antagonist in this, the guy that you're going up against, um, a German razor factory, uh, you know, how blades are made of the road facts of the Germany. So they stay sharp and, you know, guys who've tried it, uh, say their eighth shave is just as sharp as their first, you know, what it doesn't, doesn't matter. I, I kind of already covered that. So you don't have to go into it.

Gotcha. Well, I always say that a smooth shave shouldn't be too hard on your wall. It shouldn't be pile driving your wallet into the mat. Get your best shave ever this summer with Harry's razors and skincare products. Get a $13 starter set for just $3 at harries.com slash riddle. The series dot com slash riddle for a $13 starter set for just $3 at harries.com slash riddle, the terries.com slash riddle for a $3 starter set. Ah, okay. Yeah, and you're the creams and washes and lotions.

Keep my skin feeling really healthy and hydrated. Check those out. Yeah, they, it also like, I'm sorry. Did we get any of that on Mike or? Yeah, no, yeah, sorry all of it Ah, I just also like that it's like sleek ergonomic weighted handles that look great your bathroom and give precise control sorry all of it and suplex TPC Mary's out like me

I have a lot of GPC Oh greetings, greetings. Greetings, Aaron. We're just... Hey, Aaron. Our normal selves today. I'm just myself. I'm normal.

Hey, we're normal. Great. Good. Good news. So, I finally opened Aaron's land in my backyard. It's a theme park. Most of the rides work. Most are pretty safe.

And I'm trying to start a website so people can find out all the information they need to get into Aaron's land. That's actually perfect, Aaron, because this podcast is actually sponsored by Squarespace. Oh, perfect. Yeah, and it's an all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs or whatever you consider yourself to be, to kind of like stand out online, whether you're just starting out, which it seems like you may be, or you're trying to build a successful growing brand. So where space is going to make it really easy for you to create a beautiful website, Aaron?

Yeah, and Aaron, if you want Aaron Land, I think is what you call it to have stuff like Custom Merch. You can do that. You can easily sell Custom Merch and create a passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand. You design your products and production, inventory shipping, all of it handled for you, saving you time and money. So I mean real quick just because I'm looking around at Aaron Land, I'm just gonna see what say what I think Aaron Land is from what you're presenting. Sure. So right now it looks like Aaron Land is a lot of goo. Great eye. Okay, so I'm right about goo, so Land is a lot of goo. Mm-hmm. Great eye.

Okay. So I'm right about goo, so it's a lot of goo. So Aaron, are you trying to sell this goo because if the goo is for sale, then Squarespace does have an online store. We can sell your products online, whether it's physical, like this goo, digital, like I imagine, you know, some digital goo.

Or... Yeah, photos of people seeing the goo for the first time. Yeah, Squarespace has what you need. It has the tools to start selling online. I'm looking forward to using it because I can use insights to grow my business. I can learn when site visits and sales are coming in and coming from to analyze which channels are most effective. You can prove my website and build a marketing strategy based on your top keywords like

goo or most popular products and content like goo. It's kind of eating through my shoes that's starting to burn. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Aaron, I just got some great analytics from Squarespace. It says, People don't like goo. Huh.

Yay! I'm in a lot of debt now. Heh. Hey, Rick, don't break the... That name crashes. Unrolled my riddles, a pleasant to fast through the floor. What it was they also had dolphins cry or something. Remember that song?

Lightning crashes, a dolphin is crying. Oh yeah, that was just part of the lyrics of that one. And shit town, remember shit town. How did that work? It was like, Lightning crashes, we're in the shit town. Yeah, I guess I'm just thinking of light and crashes. What does an electrician say when he goes to the doctor? Don't charge me. Don't put a fork in me. I'm done. Yeah, you're totally Don't put a fork in me. I'm done. Yeah, you're totally

Volt I have a negative charge. I'll have a negative charge I'm current on my bill I'm just gonna tell you arm arm. Is this something to do with ohms and ohms? What's up doc? Wow No, is this something to do with ohms and ohms? What's up doc? Wow Loonitoon they were they're ripping out this book so we're ripping off Bugs Bunny We we we were on the right track but the pun there was such a fucking stretch How do you electrify a vampire? Oh How do you electrify a vampire?

That's gonna be a steak. A steak? Electric steak. Hook up a steak to a car battery. You. You kind of said it. Oh, battery. Oh, a battery.

Battery. I think she's being. A battery. Something with a battery. Yes, battery. All right, Adel, you are a vampire. And JPC is trying to kill you and he's trying all sorts of different things to see if it'll work.

No. Ah, okay, I am so knife in the throat doesn't work. I'm so, was that, is it painful? I'm so sorry. No, I did, you choose. Okay, good. I just wanted, I'm trying to be as ethical as possible here, and I just want to, if at any time you are in like,

any sort of discomfort, if there's anything I can get for you, like a pain in the mirror. Do you mind if I text by the list? I'd let you, but I really have to keep your hands tied down. Oh, sure. I've had some vampires that I trusted. That's fine.

Yeah, but they, they,, but they jetted out. Huh, well, there's not going to be any sunlight in this basement. Let me try this. I'm going to turn my flashlight on my phone all the way up. How does this, is that killing you? Is that killing the, you're killing the battery? Ah, crap. It's not killing me, killing the battery.

Oh boy. Can I get some of the garlic non you made? It doesn't hurt, it actually just, it's killing me because it smells so good. My doctor told me that it's like, I have to start setting boundaries for myself and this is my lunch and I actually do need it because what I'm doing is like,

it takes a lot of energy. So I'm sorry, I have to set a boundary there. No problem. I could make you up some more, but honestly, I really, I'm gonna try just to focus on killing you and really- Can I give you a hint just to speed up the process? I would love a hint, but I truly have to do this for myself.

Like, there's a physicist like, you have to do it for yourself. Yeah. I love it. You are such a kind soul. It almost makes me feel like, no, I shouldn't read the world of this single, but- Yeah. I was gonna give you, you know how like, A, U's, like the, the symbol. Yeah. I was going to give you know how like A, U's like the, the, the

symbol for gold. Yes. I was going to give you a, like a symbol. But, uh, you always speaking of symbols, did you see that conductor who got struck by lightning? Would that go into my hand? Is that my hit? Would that do it?

If I got you, hit you with lightning? Well, actually, he was interviewed by a symbol shepherd and then he called her symbol shepherd. So he did say it at some point. You know what? Okay, I hate this, but I am so much for time today Sure, it's insane. Uh, sure, sure. Could I have a hit on have a kill you? I'm so sorry Please, blah blah blah. Well, if you must know the hint the hint is I was just actually stalling for time Because I don't know if you know this, but Vampire's hunting packs.

Okay, so the hint is your stall. Oh, Maribel. Oh, yay, Blee. Yes, there's Maribel's behind you. And so, you're late. Maribel. Thank God you're here. This is Maribel, this is my assistant.

Uh, she talked to that. She talked to that. Ha, ha, ha, ha. She was hit by a laver. Thank God you're here. This is Mirabelle. This is my assistant Yeah, Casey says extreme no-ho Hank energy on that vampire Back to the workshop What did the mad scientist get when he made an exact duplicate of Texas? Um, I heard that. 32 electoral votes or something like that. When he made an exact duplicate of Texas, um, the mad scientist.

Uh,, boy. Does that sound like cowboys or lasso's or steers or something? This is going to be a pun. Something you can do with Texas pun. What's the statement name? Oh, yeah. The lone duplicate. Two stars.

Two stars on the help. No, when he made an exact duplicate. We got two stars, which would be... When you make an exact duplicate or something, you... A replica clone, a clone. A replica clone star state. The clone star state. Clone star state.

Would Texas fuck its clone, do you think? I am so confused as to what this book is. Yeah, this is weird. It, the, the, I was like a kid. No, no, no, no, I love it. I love it. I'm just saying it's weird. I just thought it was like a textbook, like a science book. You thought it was a textbook. All right, I want to say, Adeldyer confused about you.

You will have to open people magazine. I'm going to read this until you beg me to come back and be old man puzzles. Jokes on you, I'm dying to hear about celebrity gossip. Oh my God, they're just like us. Give us the lead, give us the lead, and what's Clooney doing now? Talking, walking, fucking, thinking, smiling, and making tequila.

Wow, people is getting a way less specific than I remember it. Aaron, can we please have more riddles from that book? I genuinely do love it. It's just what we're interested in something like that. No, please, Aaron. Honestly, Aaron, I could hear another people magazine. So I think that last one is a big winner.

I can hear one more. I think, hey, JPC, I think Aaron got upset because you wrote these riddles when does a battery go shopping by Aaron Keith when does a battery go shopping when it's not durselling anything when it's triple when it's double well when is a battery when the center times when it's when it's charging when it's double, uh, when is a battery? When the center turns when it's, when it's charging, when it's charging, charging a credit card. Wow, when it's,

this is like trying to think of a pun backwards is so hard. Yeah, this is tough. When does a battery go shopping? We call these nubs. When does a battery go shopping? Is this like a play on a store name or is this a battery. When does the battery go shopping? Is this like a play on a store name, or is this a play on like something we do when we shop?

It's a battery. It's a battery, pun. So what do batteries do? We know they have the plums. Is it when there's a dura sale? When there's a dura sale? No. Fuck, that's, hey, that's as good as I can do.

I think so, yeah. I can't do better than when there's a dura sale. When it's copper top of the morning, when it's, uh, what is so okay? What do you buy at the store? What do you buy at the grocery store? Me? No, not you weirdo. Huh. For, no one wants to know what you like.

What about a drink? No, dirt. Uh, drink. Yeah. I'm back again. Just more wall nuts for me. So I know I was here 20 minutes ago, but I get home and the recipe calls for even more wall nuts. So anyway, just a card full of wall nuts.

Is it like batter tea or something? No. What else? What are some drinks you can buy? Water. It's the craziest story. That's funny that you should ask. You say that you've been having a bunch of squirrels come in and you're dressing like people?

That's so wild. You know, you're squirrels, man. We know your squirrels, man. Get that out of here. Kathy, you are my favorite. I cashier the jackpot. Anyway, just the wall nuts and oh my god. So okay, so my hat and coat blew off.

That was quite a sneeze. I had some tattoos done recently. Well, most of all, too, with your hat and coat. Yeah, I'm squirrels. I'm squirrels and I know that anybody is like going to be an issue. That's a good excuse for getting out of something. Hey, I can't make the baby shower, I'm squirrels.

No, I just got back from the allergy. He did to the test turns out I'm a bunch of squirrels. I must when it runs out of juice That's when it goes shopping All the good good deal Addle add my eyes what add all what that's good. I don't want her to sound am I insane? Brad Pitt is outside today. Yeah. Oh, God, I hope he's wearing sunscreen at his age. Brad, protect yourself.

Have you zinc too? White when it goes on and rub out. He's a day walker. Eric, please. Oh, you own it. You want to hear more? Yeah. Why did the Mad mad scientist study electricity?

Same guy. Um, yeah, is this all the same? Is this the Texas guy? Mm, yeah. He's the same guy. I, I don't know, man. Yeah. Yeah, no, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I know because it is because, oh, no, it actually is a different guy. Now we're talking about this guy. Oh, we have pictures or photos, we, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, because it is because oh no, it actually is a different guy now we're talking about this guy. Oh, we have pictures or photos we should say that looks neither one of those guys is scientists. Yeah, rude and those big blocks and Mario that fall down when you run under them as a caveman. Oh, yeah. So what's the question here? It's what are these studying college? What are the mad scientists studying college? Or no, why did the mad scientist study electricity? Why did the mad study because he got his G.E.D.

That's great general electric That's great air says it goes to sleep not it, but great Why did the mad scientist study electricity because it gave him him a jolt because he had a spark of inspiration. Yeah. No, but that's an answer to the next one. It is why did the mad scientist touch a live wire? He got a charge out of it. I already got that one.

I like that. We should just be able to guess any riddle that's going to happen in the episode. Yeah. Aaron, I think if I can pinpoint what's going on here, I think we love these when we get them right and we hate them when we don't. If that makes sense. Yeah.

Yeah. I do want to see a scene real quick. So this is going to be an intro. It's going to be like an intro level, intro to chemistry, like college class, big lecture hall. Adel, you're going to be the one who's, big lecture hall. Adel, you're gonna be the one who is teaching in this lecture hall. And Aaron, you're going to be a mad scientist

who has attended this because you're really trying to figure out how to make your super weapon, but it is very much an intro class. You're gonna be interrupting. Great. Everyone, my name is Mr. Chemicals. Hi, Mr. Chemicals. Um. Hi, Mr. Chemicals. Uh, sorry, did someone bring a puppet to class who said that?

Is someone doing puppets voices? Who said that? No, it's not mine boys. Stand up. Uh, uh, uh. Okay, I saw a movement. You guys still don't see a head. You must be very short.

Um, maybe raise your hand. Can someone lift up whoever's doing that that. It's it's this guy. It's this guy right behind me Okay, oh, oh wow you are older than Most what do you learn? Well, I think actually it is I think at a certain age you should just study at home like Coursera or something What is your name? Dr. Pain. Pain, pain, pain, pain. Oh, uh, Thomas Boner Pain. That's what I have here on the... Sorry to interrupt your lesson.

Continue, continue. Okay. Um, so, anyway, as I was saying saying my name is Mr. Chemicals and welcome to the fascinating world of chemistry. Now you all have Bunsons and Beakers in front of you. What we're going to be doing on our first day is I'm sure we've all seen the trademark baking soda in a volcano. Well we're gonna sort of one up that. So is someone raising their hand I I hear a oo-oo. It's the same time I had me. It's the same time I had me.

We gotta get you a little, a little basket to sit on or something. What's, yes, uh, Mr. Paine. I have a hypothetical question. Okay. How, how did you explode something so big that a whole city gets destroyed? Well, that's interesting because this actually happens in not in modern days, but I'm sure you've heard of Pompeii No one huh, that's okay Um, everybody is an intro level class

Well, I thought you found it. I thought that was about Pano and not a bomb. Well, that's what I'm saying. It's not a bomb. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying, Dr. Paine, is that bombs don't necessarily have that power, at least not yet.

Even an atomic bomb cannot level an entire city. I mean, they could level a town but a full city not necessarily. A town where bomb can level a town not a city. So not you recommend not the atomic bomb? Well volcanoes are nature's bombs so is the hypothetical town or city near a volcano? How do you build a volcano? Well if you're a guy up. Hey, did you guys see that new viral marketing campaign that they're doing for Oppenheimer? Were they're paying like super old guys to go into intro level chemistry classes and ask about building a I'm not a car, I'm a barbie. I'm not a barbie. I'm not a barbie. I'm not a barbie. I'm not a barbie.

I'm not a barbie. I'm not a barbie. I'm not a barbie. I'm not a barbie. I'm not a barbie. I'm not a barbie. I'm not a barbie. Alright.

Let's just do one more. Why is he like I'm in trouble? I'm in trouble. I'm in trouble. Wait, did we get that one? We didn't. What is a Mad Scientist study electricity? We never got that.

No, he never got it. Um, because they, hmm. He could, they're hooked on electronics. Uh, I mean, I mean, it's just, this one's confusing. I'm just gonna tell it to you. He wanted to keep up with current events, Oh, current. Okay. Yes. Each one of these, each one of these is a pun that is like almost impossible to know where they're going

with the pun. Because it's a pun within like a 10 word sentence. So it's hard to go, yeah. Because current events would imply like he's studying like electricity in media or like electricity in the news or you know, there's gotta be some other bridge to get me to current. If it was like, if it was like, where does Dracula invest his, his, uh,

blood and you say or his type O negative? Yes, it'd be blood bank because the question helps guide you there. But if it's like, where does Dracula buy his clothes and it's like, you know, say blood bank, wherever he wants to spend a few sucks and it's like, how do you Joe's A Bloodbank. Where would he want to spend a few sucks? And it's like, how do you, no one can come up with that? Yeah, yeah, it's, yeah. All right, Aaron, did you, good people of 1982 that you don't like their work?

Oh no, Aaron, can I, uh oh, I'm in trouble. Wow, Adel, you got a lot of splitted in doing two people. The year of people is bored. All right. That's your people, man. That's your history. That's your war history. One through nine.

And you have to agree on the number. I also agree on six. So it's three plus three is six is nine. Nine again. You guys are picking nine again. Well, no, we're doing this. Well, honor Adels original three and we'll do nine minus three.

So we'll go with six. Pick a number please. Aaron read them all. I'll go with 6. Just say I'll say 3. Come on. I'll cut my hair to my adult, a watch bracelet. Here's what I'm, Aaron.

I'll do 6. Aaron, this is on page 69. Aaron, I'm not trying to say anything about your judgment. But you know that character that's your favorite character of all time the JPC played earlier that was the conductor's Chuck by Lighting? Uh huh. I don't think JPC's played a character.

Oh God. Oh yeah. I think JPC was struck by Lighting years ago and I think, oh, can't be true. You can let it all out in a scene like that. We can't. Okay, so this chapter is called Don't Feed the Robots. Ooh.

Okay. Okay. Oh, God. All right. Never a good sign. Never a good sign. Never a good sign. Never a good sign.

Never a good sign. Never a good sign. Never a good sign. Never a good sign. Never a good sign. Never a good sign. Never a good sign. Never a good sign.

Never a good sign. Never a good sign. Never a good sign. Never a good sign. Never a good sign. Never a good sign. Never a good sign. feed the robots. Actually, someone wants to come on the microphone, a certain character who was excited to hear about Don't Feed the Robots. Yeah, I'm just kidding. We're dating now. We're in co-croll. We're together. I was truly about to do J.B. Rittles, too. It's like everybody says, fuck you. I truly wanted, I was hoping that Dr. Payne and Dr. Camelian, I wanted to fit in that Dr. Payne as Dr. Camelian's

little brother. That rules. I almost did. I almost did rip a Dr. Payne mask off at one point, to just verify, trust but verify. Can we do, literally three seconds? Yeah. JPC is JPC riddles, I'm sorry, they're their own people.

Could JPC riddles come to the microphone? Is JPC riddles in the room with us now? Okay, good. So you don't want me to do a JP riddles impression, which I cannot do, could I? Yeah. You went. Coco.

Coco Cashmere and Dr. Cummian, can we just do three seconds of, what's that three studios bit with it like, hello, hello, hello, something like that? Yeah. Yeah, sure. Three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, four, three, four, three, three, four, three, four, three, four, three, four, three, four, three, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, five, five, four, five, four, five, five, four, four, five, five, four, five, four, five, four, four, five, four, five, four, five, four, hello, something like that. Yeah, sure. We got to keep it short.

Hello. Hello. Hello. There you go. That's nice. That was nice. Thank you for indulging me. That was perfect. I think that's great.

I think that's... I'm thinking lately that we haven't heard from JP Riddles in a long time. I know. We might I think that's- I think that's- I think that's- Lately that we haven't heard from JP Riddles in a long time. No. We might need to do a whole JP Riddles episode with you permission, JP C. That frankly is not fair. Why?

You shouldn't be up to saying we should do a whole JP Riddles episode because honestly, the JP Riddles thing, it's on you guys. You have to call for a Swan Lumps. I can't be myself into my own salon man. I think we're gonna do a full Swan Lumps episode. That's like saying, we haven't had dinner in so long. JP, why don't you cook the whole fucking dinner? I want dinner, dude.

You think it's easy to toss the JP riddles. You have to keep making up things that are weird about his body that day. You have to be like, JP riddles, why have to keep making up things that are weird about his body that day. You have to be like, JP riddles, why do you have a fork in your face and you have to be like, well I can tell you why I got a fork in my face. JP riddles. You really want to know. JP riddles. Yeah, why do you have a fork in your face? Is it so you get the little cars two options when they drive down it? No, it's because I confused my face with a macaroon cookie. And I love me macaroon cookie. And I tried to take a big fork full and accidentally stirred my face.

I can't take it out of my face because now I think it's an integral part. I think it's a load bearing for it. Oh, JP Rittles, be careful. That lightning is getting pretty close to you. Oh no, JP Riddles was struck by lightning canonically. And I'm exactly the same. Yep. It do it truly does not affect me. The lightning service litified, fell to the ground and shattered. Yeah. The light is on the ground casting for a breath. Wow. I like this. Wait a second. Were you two little shipbirds reading my swan lumps book? Oh, yeah. Sorry.

Can you read from swan lumps 108? Yeah, please. Swan lumps 108, the lightning's on the ground. Yay. Hey, Mr. Riddles, are you living in a coffin these days? I wouldn't call it living, I'd call it masturbating. Now, the swine loves one-o-wait, let's get to it. Once upon a time, a long time ago, there was a very old, very crazy man.

Mr. Riddles, Mr. Riddles, are you talking about you? Oh, well, you'll just have to get to it. Anyway, he fucking died. And Mr. Riddles, can you stop masturbating just for this story, please? I can. He had a big funeral. He had a big funeral. Everybody from town came to pay their respects except one man who was really smart. He got to the back of the line at the funeral after everyone else was gone and he took the old man he ripped him out of the coffin he took the coffin and said this is gonna be my new jerkin coffin and he drugged out to the woods and he threw it on

the ground and he got in and he started going at it hard I mean like he had something to prove like it was of indena and all the sudden a big storm breaks out but he's so into zone he doesn't even notice it and the lightning starts tap tap tap tap tap tap it on that coffin and finally all JP riddles hmm how to put this he comes and he opens up the he opens up the casket and he says hey there mr. lightning did you want to come in for a spell and the lightning's like well no I mean if you're feeling I, if it's okay with you, well anyway old JP riddles his cleverly traps that lightning and the coffin he sits on that box

and lightning starts fighting like hell look it out of there, it's a riddle, like a squirrel track bit a coffin, yep. Mr. Riddles, every time you say lightning, um, 50 to 60 lightning bugs fly out of your mouth. No, really? That's my gold. I need that. I barter with those bugs. You, girl, you collect the bugs, and you, boy, you watch that she don't steal none.

So anyway, he's got the squirrel trapped at the coffin. I mean, lightning. I mean, it's lighting in the shape of a squirrel. You understand how zoos could transform into any animal? No. Hey, shut up. in the shape of a squirrel. You understand how Zeus could transform into any animal? No. Hey, shut up. Don't say no to me. JP Reynolds trapped lightning in there.

It was a squirrel, but he knew it was lightning. So anyway, he opens the coffin. He grabs the squirrel by the hunches and says, sell me your Zeus magic. I want to know what Hera's up to. Ooh, Hera, she's the thine instead of the gods. And JP Reynolds is gonna make her his wife. Mr. Rital, did you just use your swan lump's book as a tissue?

Yes, but not for what you all think I was using a tissue for. Oh. Yeah, you asked. I don't know why you asked. Ha ha ha. Me neither. What happened to this girl? I mean the lightening. What's girl? Lightning, the lightening What's girl lightning?

Harrah is she here? Who if my wife finds me she's gonna be so pissed I turned into an old crazy man and gave down her earth to sow my mischief? Mr. Riddles Mr. Riddles Harrah's on here but there's a swan nearby I'm just playing I'm not really Zeus Anyway time to catch my cloud

Azoik? A boy? I'm not really Zeus anyway time to catch my cloud Zoik a boy He dug a hole into the ground and went down like a nomadic tube bank Throwing himself throwing up on himself the whole way down Wow, guys, what did I miss nothing But you are just your back just the time for plugs. Oh good. I will say I'm Miss JP riddles he's gonna be around a lot more because I forgot I I simply forgot how funny. Yeah take that conductor struck by lightning you're fucking nothing to us now. Oh brother. Uh passing fad Adela, anything to plug? A few things to plug.

I would like to plug a new podcast I'm doing with my friends for more news tonight that's not the other two. It's called The Word Association. Please check that out. I'm the biggest fan of this podcast. I can't stress you enough how much I love it. In episode three, I laughed so hard.

I had to go lay down. Oh, I also check out my game show podcast called, tell me about it, hosted by actually another Adolfi. And I also highly, highly, highly recommend you check out the podcast's bill buds and sitcom D&D. And both of those shows have patrons, which you can check out. Aaron, keep anything you'd like to plug.

Um, I would like to plug sitcom D&D. We are in between seasons. It's a great time to catch up. We just started recording season four and it's really fun. So if you haven't given it a shot or you gave it a shot and you didn't really like it, just give it one more chance and check it out. GBC, any reviews?

You forgot his name, you forgot his name, I saw it. JP Riddle, is any funny reviews? Sucks because I absolutely know that you forgot his name, you forgot his name, I saw it. JP Riddle, any funny reviews? Sucks because I absolutely know that you forgot my name there. Yes, I got a review on this one and if you want to get a review featured on the show, just leave us a five star review anywhere that you leave reviews. I'm always on the internet crawl and through these reviews sites trying to find the five star ones so I can read them on the show. As an example, I read this one from Estus B, Estus B writes, General Muckery.

I don't know why it took this long for me to finally read a five star review for this spectacular podcast. Every episode brightens my day and makes me laugh out loud. Addle, Aaron and JPC aren't maybe the funniest people alive and I have failed to show how grateful I am for this show. I live in that failure, I acknowledge that failure and I will let that failure make me stronger.

And I get what you're laying down there, SSB, and I really appreciate it. So thank you so much. What a great review. That was fantastic. That was really kind. Thank you, Estus. You know, I think that they might have the wrong three people,

but I'm gonna let that solve. For sure. Oh, absolutely, absolutely. Aaron, because as we all know, the real thorniest person in the entire Hey Riddle, Riddle, you know, is... Actually, Aaron's gone. It looks like it's Mr. Denyfire. Mr. Denyfire, do you know?

Which character is that? Oh, yes, right, loves. Oh, yes. Hard to be undercover, what say would you say we're scared to Bye for oh, let's delete this episode. I like this sort of We're already parents in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day.

We're still in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day.

We're still in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day.

We're still in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day. We're still in the middle of the day. We're I hear the episode in this sentence? That was awful. This one. This one. We even will a bit too far to do too many bits. Hey there, morals and ethics. If you like that, you're going to love this week's Patreon. We dive into some moral dilemmas

and we solve them through the power of improv. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com, slash hey riddle riddle, by joining the clue crew for five dollars a month or start your seven day free trial or the review crew for eight dollars a month and you get those ad free episodes.

See you there. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP That was a HitGum Podcast.