Hey Riddle Riddle - #283: Best of 2023-Part 1

Episode Date: December 20, 2023

What a year! We’ve put together some of our favorite moments over the last twelve months for your enjoyment. Thank you supporting this little fever dream riddle podcast! Happy Holidays!Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifSpecial Guest:Sandy WeiszEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to mail us something? Hey Riddle Riddle 6351 W Montrose Ave #267Chicago, IL, 60634Want to leave us a voicemail? Call (805) RIDDLE-1 or (805-743-3531)Want to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmThis episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/RIDDLE and get on your way to being your best self.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a head gum podcast. And the world is ready Let's sing RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP RIP Oh, that's not way. Oh, this is here. Oh, my budget. It's crazy. Oh, he won. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, other? Oh my god, we forgot to do that. Well, maybe maybe we did maybe we didn't we'll have to wait and Looks like Aaron forgot Aaron want to go first. Oh my god. We actually forgot to do it this year Okay, so Aaron normally organizes that. Is it me Aaron has forgotten to do it? I'll go ahead and say what I got this This is from Aaron, the big Macy's bag. Oh God. Okay, I'm opening it up. It's mostly tissue paper. Oh, there's something at the bottom here.

Interesting. Okay, this is a dead turtle. All right. I was just trying to return my dead turtle to Macy's. That wasn't a gift. I'm so sorry. I completely forgot about our gift exchange. I got one from Aaron as well.

That's not how this works. Aaron doesn't get both of us, but I can't get one. I was trying to return two dead turtles to Macy's. Well, that's a spoiler. Now I guess I don't even bother unwrapping it. Whoa, wait a minute. My turtle just flew away. Who's a turtle dove?

Wait, Aaron, how many turtle doves did you try and return? I've been an expensive mistake. Think about it. Aaron, how many turtle doves? How many an expensive mistake. Think about it. Aaron, how many turtle doves? How many turtle doves? Aaron, think about it. Three. No.

Can't be. She's singing numbers again. Two turtle doves. Two. There you go. Aaron has a Nazmiah. She has that thing where she sings colors. So annoying.

He's me a Nazmiah. Nazmiah. Nazmiah. So everybody, this is our first of our best of. Addle DPC, what were some of your favorite moments of the year? Honestly, great question, Aaron. Let's listen to a couple of them now. Is that what we were supposed to do or? I think of something you liked.

Honestly, number one with a dead turtle, or living turtle dove, would be the introduction of one of my favorite characters, Antisanty. That happens just now, app. Huh? I know it all feels very recent. In all the stuff I like, happen to the Patreon. So Patreon.com says, I'm sharing it over and over.

That's it for the real best of. Just go through that. That's the real best of. Well, I'm the one who put these together. So if you don't like these episodes, blame, moi. Aaron? Why would you do that? Aaron, here's the thing who put these together. So if you don't like these episodes, blame, moh. Aaron? Why would you do that?

Aaron, here's the thing. Why would you do that? JPC and I recognize. I'm trying to talk to you. Oh, JPC and I recognize how much work you put into these every year. We're so thankful. We love you so much. We care about you so much.

We respect that you put so much work into it. So we chipped in. We got you something. Let me put the turtle does here. Jamesy. There you go Aaron if you want to unwrap it. And I'm unwrapping it. I'm unwrapping it. Oh, it's French hands. How So how many? How many? How many? Three, three, French hands. Three, it's three, ow. And here's the thing, Aaron, you would not believe how big these guys get.

Is that true? Yeah. Yeah, they're not native. They're only supposed to be in France. I don't want this. And bringing them here is actually, they're an invasive species. I don't want this.

They grow to the size of their tanks. And the tank I put it in was a 83 Honda Accord. So this is a big mother fucker. This guy, they weigh about two tons. Woof. OK, well, this is useless to me. Thank you so much for the gift, guys. Thank you for a great year.

I had a lot of fun listening to these episodes. I do have to always bring it up in therapy, how hard it is to listen to myself so much in such a short amount of time making these episodes. It's happened the last couple of years, but I did laugh out loud a lot and I've felt very grateful for your filled with laughter with you two guys. And Casey. And Casey. Aaron. It's me Hunter, your therapist. Aaron, it's me Hunter, your therapist. Oh my God, hi. Unbutton shirt to the naval. Wind starts to flow.

I just want to say, I'm really proud of your growth this year. Okay, this rules. It takes off. Guys, get out of here. Yeah. And I would just like to say sincerely, I really enjoyed everything that we did as a group this year I think we put out some very funny stuff again on the patreon. The main feeds really go downhill ahead

Basket it's not really great stuff anymore. It's obvious that we've kind of checked out we're taking two weeks off So what does that tell you but the patreon that's where that that's where the good shit still lives Yeah, new stuff through the end of the year. No best of's over there Well enjoy this. It's mostly Lord of Beeps probably We love you so much and we'll see you next week. Aaron. I'm on the back of this French hand hop on Let's ride to my summer home. Okay. I love therapy. My girl is best. Give me one second.

Aaron, you look like when a president has to sign the bill, it says like we're going to war and they put down the pen. When the vice president clears it off their desk and then they and they put down the pen when the vice president clears it off their desk and then they just put them in the pen and squeeze their worth knowing it knowing the history of change forever. I'm making that face just reading ahead at the riddles were about to show. So you're saying we're going to war? Aaron you're saying we're going to war. How am I going to war? That's so heavy. It just feels so but soul.

That's my face. We're going to war. Take a black and white photo of beeping it to your god. The absolute pain and suffering that is upon us. The humanity. Oh. Oh. What is it?

Oh, we're going to war. Uh. Ladies and gentlemen of this great nation, I stand before you, a president with a heavy heart, to tell you that we will be doing riddles for the rest of the episode. My apologies to our citizens that let freedom ring.

Oh. Oh. James, you just missed a lifetime. Oh, brother. OK. OK. All right. Are you guys ready for a freaking road trip?

Woo-hoo. Yeah. All right. Aaron, guys ready for a freaking road trip? Woohoo! All right, Aaron, you were on snacks. Tell me what you brought. I brought a bunch of loose teeth, enough to share. Don't worry, don't worry. Couple of glistics. Some uncooked rice. Okay.

So the same stuff as last time. Yeah, same stuff as last time. Okay, Adel, Adel, bring us back. You're on tunes, brother. Tell me what you brought. Woo! Jack dams. Wow, man.

What, Jack dams? Jack dams, but not the, sorry, not the, not one through five. It's, it's six when they kind of were scraping the bottom of the sports barrel. Just like last time. Just kind of just like last time. So it's not, I mean, they're not really sports anthems. That's okay. That's okay. It's all about the destination.

GDC, where are we going on the road trip? Whoo, here we go. This destination. Well, you know, I like to keep it a little crazy. Oh yeah. So I brought out the globe. Spooned that motherfucker and then jammed my finger on it to stop. And we are going to the Pacific Ocean. Yeah, you shouldn't. Oh, yeah. Most of the most of the most of the, it's just like last time. Just like last time. Well, just like last time, we're going to be listening to pump up the soccer while eating baby teeth at the bottom of the ocean.

We all get out of the car silently, walk into the studio, sit down, sit down to record an episode instead. Yes, it's better. Okay, what are we doing? Let's. You got sued. Don't know who sued you. That's your own business. It definitely wasn't me for attention. But God's speed and good luck. It says whoever is suing us their name has been redacted for their own protection. Yeah, and I spelled all those words wrong. Yeah. And then it was you, it was redacted wrong as well. It was just underlined instead of blocked out. It says Aaron Keefe with a big black underlined. And then there's also a weird little portion where it's,

I guess it's referencing Billy Joel's, you ought to know by now where underneath Redact, it says Redact, act, act, act, act, act, act, act, act. Yeah, I got that confused with the O'Lennan's more set song. I wanted to make an O'Lennan's more set, and then I forgot and I started singing the Billy Joel. And it looks like you included the chat GPT prompt that you used to build the rest of this because it says, chat GPT, build me a lawsuit against you as halls. You spelled

both of our names correctly, which 90% of the people in the internet, I think. Here's the craziest thing. I typed that into chat, GBT, and it started making a lawsuit, GBT, JPC, and it started. I lost it against the two of you. It just knew that you were the two biggest GBT JPC and Lost it against the two of you. It just knew that you were the two biggest assholes in the world That's so crazy that computers know that now too and Aaron I'm looking at the second page here, and it's one of those games where it's a bald man And you have a little magnetic pin and you put the hair on him Look now he has a mustache now. He has a beard now. He has some hair Okay, in page three it looks like it's that

Game where you have to like pull the floor away so that like water falls into lava Is this isn't it isn't ad are you ready to add to this court? Sun doesn't matter. I'm just sign here and then We could be done with this entire interaction page six is Obituary's did you mean obituaries? These are just like, these are like your mom and jokes. We call out all the people who died recently

on the roasted, but too oblivion. Okay, actually, actually, I don't know if it's the right project for you per se, but I do like the project. I do like your obituaries. I think maybe this runs.

I like to see you seen. JPC you're an orchestra conductor and you've just been struck by lightning, but you're trying to play it off like you have it. Hey, Brian, Brian, Brian. Nope. Keep those tables. Let me sit down. Why are you sit down? Tables. Tables? Do you mean sedatives? I'll do the symbols.

I'll do the symbols. If you can't do the symbols, settle for me. Brian, hey, Brian. I'll do the symbols. I'll do the symbols. I'll do the symbols. I'll do the symbols. I'll do the symbols.

I'll do the symbols. I'll do the symbols. I'll do the symbols. I'll do the symbols. I'll do the symbols. I'll do the symbols. I'll do the symbols. I'll do the symbols. I'll do the symbols. I'll do you sit down? Why do you sit down? Tables? Do you mean soldiers? I'll do the simplest.

I'll do the simplest. If you can do the simplest. Settle cracks. Brian, hey Brian. You gotta lay down. Right side of the workers are taking a break. The right side of your face is drooping. I think you, buddy, sit that just...

No, that's for the song. Josh, let him try. Let him try for 30 seconds and then we'll tell him to stop. Alright, but I want this recorder. You should be playing trombone. You shouldn't be up here. Sit back down and play trombone. Okay, now I'm gonna turn around. Right side of the orchestra, take a break, left side picking up. Left side picking up because I've turned it around. Now I'm doing the left side.

You're just pointing at us again and again. Where are we at in the music? Okay, pause. Pause the music. Excuse me ladies and gentlemen. Excuse me we at in the music? Okay pause, pause the music. Excuse me ladies and gentlemen, excuse me for one second while I talk to my orchestra. Guys, do you want to be here? He's facing the audience now. Come on, I know we all got stuff to deal with. We could all be at the hospital, getting the medicine that we need.

I'm a doctor. You're not tonight here. No sir, sit back, sir, in the audience, please sit down. Tonight, you're just enjoying your time. You paying a lot of money for the orchestra, we're gonna keep- Oh, go ahead again. Hey, it fixed me. I'm all better now, I'm better on both sides.

What? Hold on, what fixed symbols? Slibbles. Slibbles. It fixed me. Honestly, Sarah, that was pretty close. And a two on the through, and a group, and a group. Nope, some's wrong. Honestly, Sarah, honestly, Sarah, that was pretty close. And a two on the fruit and a root and a group. Nope, some's wrong.

No, some's wrong. Symbolos. Crash them. You know what, folks, pause. You pause, everyone. There's no, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Waving your wand, we pause.

I'm sorry, everybody, that my band is so unprofessional. I'm gonna lay down right now. I'm gonna take a little five minute micro nap. He's gonna be so brief I'm just gonna take off once you take off the others you take off my shirt fold it Fold my shirt boss. Why don't you just go to the hospital? We'll try to get the backup conductor to continue No, you want Pete to come out here. He doesn't even know what he's doing great But let's just take it from the top just try to start it. Sarah. Hey Sarah I can see his brain is starting to leak out of his head him try that's fast Okay, are we ready? Are we ready?

And a five and the fire and the sneeze and the wires That was actually very good and the fire and the sneeze and the wires. That was actually very good. Be do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Everyone has a bit of a... It's a bit of a... It's a bit of a... It's a bit of a... It's a bit of a... It's a bit of a...

It's a bit of a... It's a bit of a... It's a bit of a... It's a bit of a... It's a bit of a... It's a bit of a... It's a bit of a... It's a bit of a...

It's a bit of a... It's a bit of a... It's a bit of a... It's a bit of a... It's a bit of a... It's a bit of a... It's a bit of a... It's a bit of a... It's a bit of a... It's a bit of a... It's a princess and I'm a prince from a foreign land, and I have been wed to Aaron, but Adam, you are going to be playing the night that always gets in between

when it's our wedding night. You are bewitching in the moonlight, middle lady, and I am so much looking forward to consummating our holy matrimony this eve. You've written such beautiful poetry to me through our courting and such a lovely day I feel blessed to be here and I can't wait to be with you my sweet husband. Hell and well met tonight! You're excited for a night of romp and sexual integrals. Oh my gosh, I thought you were one of those still nights that are here for display.

Like a city of armor. Yes, yes, yes, you're the moment. No, I'm you were one of those still nights that are here for display. Like a city of armor. It's started moving. Yes, you did. No, I'm still a knight. Whoa. And two knight. Uh, two knight. I shall be, it be twigs to you.

You smell like tuna fish. Where is that out? Can I, can't get out? Is that you, sir? Uh, Lance not much. That is correct. I got the name because every time I came upon a dragon, I would scream and run away. And so people said, what a coward he does not lens very much.

That's not why he got the name. He's just a cock blocker. Well, so he lens not much. Cock blocker. We are happy to have you here. Could you maybe protect the door from the outside? Is that the door? Yes, of course. What a wonderful idea

Why don't all three of us stand up and I will stay be twist you and we shall shuffle our way over to the door Here's an idea We're both parched from the wedding ceremony so much Would you mind going a butt down yonder hall and fetching us a cask of fine wine? Um, I wouldn't mind if the three of us just want to get up together and again shuffle down Yonder Hall? I'll grab some uh, hey man, how can I say this? Hey man, we want to be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be Okay, so we'll put be there, pick to each other without you there

Uh, yes What is the best way to phrase this? I would like to beep upon my wife's beep Of course, understood And I would like to say to him what beeping her is beep And if we have time, perhaps, try something like beep or beep But I mean, at the end of the day, me. Sounds like a traffic jam in here.

Listen, here's what I'll talk. Maybe she throws a hand behind, did I get my beef, beefed? Just a little, just on my beef. Oh, beef, yeah. Oh, beef, yeah. Well, I know that stood for prostate milk, but here's what I'll do.

I'll compromise. I'll stay with you. Beef, where's the Lord of Beeps? How is he able to say prostate milk? Wait, the Lord of Beeps must be dead. It's down here, Lord. He's been murdered. He's been murdered.

Oh God, I'll fuck. I can say it. Oh, suck my fucking nuts. He's been murdered. Oh, no. The Lord of Beeps. See. Oh my God. What the hell is happening, y'all? What is happening, y'all? I don't feel so good. What's going on? Okay, I think the Lord of Beeps is Casey's best character. Yeah. Oh The Lord of Beeps goes across the land Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep say a bad thing. Yes, any beep, silly beep, silly,

Santa beep, bitty fuck suck, beep, bitty beep, beep, beep. Sometimes it's beep, and fuck times it's that beep, beep, fuck suck, pop. Dick! Beep! Oh, man, the Lord of Beep, go fuck the hell. There he goes, the Lord of Beep. Fucking his horse across the land, beep. Beep, beep, beep.

Beep, beep, beep. Uh, uh, uh, Erdi, have more riddles for us? No, I want to keep singing about the Lord of Beeps. Oh, Lord of Beeps is a tall, rolled band in his short tune. Did it do? Uh, I'm just thinking about more Lord of Beeps songs if someone else wanted to talk.

Well, we don't have any riddles, so I don't know what the Lord of Beeps won't let you tell you why it's because he loves him. Don't worry, loves to go. I've never fallen love. Oh, that's funny about this. The Lord of Beeps is canonically dead. So we're just standing over his dead body. So we're all drunk and we're singing a... ...Drum and Dental Pals.

Biting tales. Hopefully we've gotten Arnie Parrot to write a Lord of Beep song that we can end this episode with. Uh... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha for songs the greatest hero of the land. My life here we go. Bang your mugs on the table, folks. Oh, the Lord of Beeps is a noble man keeping order from chaos throughout the land with the guiding light of his gentle hand keeps the worst of us at bay.

He knows of the demons we keep therein and he purges the words that are worse than sins. We wrote this car's to honor him for the words that we can say sins Are we wrote this car's to honor In full of words that we can say So we'll toast this In a f*** church With a f***

In a tentacle Sills a f*** They're mad And f*** they're f*** In the left this time Yes So we'll f*** Up truck's cock

And slap my snatch With a hairy rock And all fuck I mean what the f*** Where me f*** I can f*** Square No mother of god Kiss all the cross What the f*** is Fuck, I mean what the fuck? Fuck! Where the fuck? I can fucking swear! Oh mother of god, piss off the cross!

What the fuck is that? Hey! What's going on? Huh? Huh? Huh? Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! How the what did you do? Oh my god, oh my god, I think god, I think it does not matter who you are That reaction when you come in a room always sucks

Like I know what I look like, but this Truly is painful to see Head of a goat body of a goat wings of a goat, which you know rings legs of a goat, huh? You don't describe what somebody looks like physically. They go the do a rid. I was asking you to rude. I say you look like Steve Bushemme. Head of a goat, body of a goat.

I think that was about you. Well, Aaron, laugh of a goat. Dying of a goat, you have the, Aaron, you have the diet of a goat. I watched you drink this right and eat the can. The cans the best part. It tastes like sprite. The cans the dessert. You guys don't eat the can when you're done with the sprite. Sorry, demon. Give us one second. I guess we have a lot to talk about. We have to play a game. Adel, you clearly need to be on the team, obviously, for the people who are naming these movies.

So if the 10th movie was fast 10-year seatbelts, I'm going to put three minutes on the clock here, the two of you need to come up with the titles of the Fast and Furious movies 11 through 20, just so we can get ahead of it and they can start actually using these. Oh, I got the next one. Fast, fast 11 diesel resurrection. Wait, hold on. What is that? Say that again.

Fast 11 diesel resurrection. I hope him repeating that didn't count against our time. I have the next one. Yeah. Fast 12 days of Christmas. It's 12 days until Christmas and they have to kind of drive. They're being chased by nine lords of leaping, 10 swamps, all of swimming, whatever that is.

So fast 12 a day still Christmas. And then of course we have fast 13 going on 30. By that point, the cast is going to be expand to around 30 people. It's going to be very hard to keep up with, but it'll still be good. Of course, after that, no brainer. We have fast 14 going on 31. Ha ha! Just kind of more the same,

but the cars, the cars are getting a little older. Mm hmm, mm hmm. Then we have a Super Bowl, fast XV. Ha ha ha. Otherwise known as fast Teen Facts 15 fast team Fast senior seat belts. It's kind of a parody of not another teen movie Which is like doing a parody of a word L song

Fast Sweet 16. Yeah, so this is where at this point the cars are sentient I think we all agree on that and it's one of the cars 16th birthday and they get a new car for their birthday. So this one has Hold on to your seat belts. This one has cars driving cars Yeah, so cars get inside bigger cars and they drive the cars, but there's people in the smaller cars That are driving the bigger. Does that make sense? It's like a Russian testing bill. Okay Then of course we have a fast 17 again, which is whatever happens in that movie if that

is a movie. It just happens, but with cars. Yes, then we have a fast 18 again, which is remake of the George Burns movie where the car, it's an older car and it gets younger. So it's like a little baby car. And it's a 19 colon, the Quarvo gold, which is a steely data reference. So sorry And then we have fast 2.0 Yes, they put the dot in the wrong spot, but it's 20 but it's 2.0. So yeah

How are we doing how are we on time? Okay, I have no idea, but I'm gonna read them back to you I don't wanna hear it. I wanna hear it. I wanna hear it. It's throwing up. Don't run our nose in this. Yeah, I don't want it. This is not how you train a dog. I don't want to hear it. 10 is fast 10 year seat belts, which you never got better than that. That one was the best one. 11 fast 11 diesel resurrection fast 12 days of Christmas fast 13 going on 30 fast 14 going on 31. Super 16 your seat belts. Sweet 16. That was pretty good.

That was pretty good. Presses, cars are sentient, cars driving cars. Fast 17 again, whatever happens in that movie. Fast 18 again. Fast 19, quervo gold. Fast 2.0. Now 10. And you say you gotta like, the quervo gold. And then the subheader on that is the fine columbium.

And Aaron can I say I should have added this this onto fast 2.0. So fast 2.0 of course is fast and the furious 20. The subtitle for that is fast and the curious. So the cars are in college. They're 20 years old. They're junior college and they're starting to experiment. So they're kissing maybe same sex cars They're just they're just putting themselves out there in ways that they haven't before

So that's fast 2.0 fast and the curious and then after that it's fast 21 and then the subtitle of that is this is getting exhausting And that's a fun play on exhaust. What about fast 21 jump street? It's a fun play on exhaust. What about fast 21 jump street furious? Okay, Aaron, you're hired. You want a good job and you nailed the interview. That's the best one, and I stand by that. All right, Aaron, you brought it up, so we got to talk about it.

I'm on beverage watch. We've been on this call for 10 minutes. I've seen you sip two different beverages. So tell me, what do you drink? Well, then you can do the final count when I show you. I have some tea. Okay, cup of tea. I thought that might be a cup of tea. I have a pola. Yeah, crayon. We're a polar family. I've got a mango factor smoothie. That's a third drink she's pulling up before. I have a coffee. Oh, and just that reach I have a water. Is there a water?

I'm hungover. There's a water, but I don't want to reach that part. So it's a bit of a five drink morning. Yes, and I wish I had more. To be honest, I feel like I'm missing a couple categories. I kind of wish I had like a juice but Aaron, how do you? Is it one of those amago smoothie? Wait, what? Yeah, but I want like juice Smoothies are not juice Aaron, you're in the house. How do you not just how do you not just slosh? How do your insight is not just slosh around?

I do slosh. Who told you I didn't slosh? I just assumed okay good to know good to know big old sip of the smoothie Air is you obituary will definitely be how much she sloshes you obituary she slosh it in the coffin Yeah, I'm sloshing in the coffin I do want to see you seeing Aaron, you are the famous superhero of Skylight City. You are a rotator. JPC, you are the sidekick of rotator, Reverser, and this is going to be rotator and Reverser out on their first night patrolling the city.

Reverser, I'm going to be honest with you. I'm a little dizzy. You, I keep spinning and I'm getting some pretty bad motions. I'm getting some pretty bad motions. I'm getting some pretty bad motions. I'm getting some pretty bad motions. I'm getting some pretty bad motions. I'm getting some pretty bad motions. I'm getting some pretty bad motions.

I'm getting some pretty bad motions. I'm getting some pretty bad motions. I'm getting some pretty bad motions. I'm getting some pretty bad motions. I'm getting some pretty bad motions. I'm getting some pretty bad motions. I'm getting some pretty bad motions. I'm getting some pretty bad motions. I'm getting language. That's how he speak. Yeah, of course. You both are two chickens on a farm and you both have, you swear like sailors. Buk, buuk, buuk, buuk, buuk, I got a big cock.

Bukock? I got a big cock. I got a big cock. I got a big cock. I got a big cock. I got a big cock. I got a big cock. I got a big cock.

I got a big cock. Hey, chef. What the fuck is going on, man? What are you doing? We got a big cock. I got a big cock. I got a big cock. Jeff, what the fuck is going on man? What are you doing? I got a big cock. I'm on. Oh no. I try to read the paper man. I try to look in the mirror like George Washington.

Look at my cock. I got a big cock. Jeff. Jeff. He got a good turn off together, what are you doing? I got a macaroon. Macaroon. Macaroon.

It's a break room, man. Macaroon, we're just two guys hanging out. We can be guys, because. Guys, this is a lock on the talk, Macaroon. I got a macaroon, I got a macaroon. I got a macaroon. I guess, man. I got a macaroon.

All right, let me see it. Macaroon. Okay, yeah, pretty big, I mean, man. I'm gonna baton. Alright, let me see it. Okay, yeah, pretty big. Yeah, pretty big, I mean, yeah. Congratulations, man. That's awesome. Let's see. I think I might be one of my favorite scenes ever. Oh, brother.

A message from the king. Any person this day forward, who shall do riddles? A message from the king. Any person this day forward who shall do riddles will be executed. Man, I just got it. This is the, this king is wishy washy. Sorry, I have to stop the podcast for one second. Something insane just happened to me. Sorry, isn't just in the picture.

No, I, yeah, we paused, we're going back to that. We know we would do improv on stage and Aaron would be like, okay, everybody pause, I had something crazy. I just heard it. I just heard a pop in my knee and I never wanted to shut up. So I put my hands down on my legs, right? Sure, yeah. And then I was like, what, there's something I'm wearing leggings.

I went to Pilates this morning wearing leggings, not to brag. So far nothing to stop a podcast over there. Exactly. But you'll see, Adela, I am so confident you're about to be on my side. You have no idea. Wow. I would bet my life you're about to be on my side. And then I feel something in between my leggings and my leg and I go

I've been wearing these for four hours at this. Oh God, you got a sock in there. No, you would think it's much smaller. I just pulled out From it's on my thigh. I don't eat popcorn anymore a popcorn kernel anymore Well, I'm allergic to corn Don't eat popcorn anymore a popcorn kernel anymore Don't touch your skin someone try to kill you Aaron hold on someone's trying to kill you They're putting kernels in your Aaron Aaron is it in it was in between your lagging in your leg a little kernel of popcorn yes What does it mean? Okay now you understand why I had to stop the fun podcast. That's crazy. You guys, that's so weird. Aaron, here's what I will say. What? I get that this is alarming to you, but it is not surprising to me.

Does that exist? Yeah, can I say that? Aaron, you are so adamant. I would be on your side. And honestly, I don't know findingant I would be on your side. And honestly, I don't know finding a piece of popcorn on your pants is worth stopping me from that. In my pants, Adol. Served that, my guy, 100%. Casey, thank you. Oh my, it was in her pants, but Aaron,

and don't take this the wrong way. You are the type of person who I don't think it is unreasonable that you find a little popcorn in your pants. Yeah, Aaron. You're this. Without being, Aaron, I love you so much. I love you so much. Something you just have to know who you are. You're the type of person.

Aaron, I love you so much. You're the type of person who would go to speak and suddenly realize they have a mouthful of tomato soup and it would just go everywhere and you'd be like, I totally forgot. I had put some soup in my mouth this morning and I just been holding it in my mouth all though. I don't know what you're talking about. I could compare DeGrey's Kelly all the time. I'm nothing but I.

I do think I do think that if you think this is rock bottom, I think all some self-reflection has to be in play here because I got to tell you this is the top. This is that you are so rigged right now with a little piece of popcorn. Has to be a play here because I gotta tell you this is the top this is You are so rig right now with a little piece of popcorn You have said all the podcast how much worse it can get I like I like I kind of thought you were like I'm wearing tights I went to Pilates. I looked out and put my hand on my like I said this feels weird. I'm not wearing tights I have thought I've not wearing tights.

I have thought I've been wearing tights all morning and I am not wearing tights. I think it's something where I could see Aaron. Aaron is in the back rooms of Harvard in some wood paneled room in the library. She's defending her dissertation for PhD. Yeah. And halfway through, she stops, she goes,

I'm so sorry. I have, can we stop for a second? You're gonna love this. I just found a cat hair in my hair. I'm never owned a cat And they say please please leave air and I said theories though. Yeah, okay So with the popcorn do you have your own washer and dryer or do you have like a washer and dryer that you share with like other people in your building? I have my own washer and dryer. The best part of my life is out. Sorry, this is no longer a problem. No longer a problem.

I truly think someone's trying to cook. Or an upper-hand porcelain. As per last week's episode, or sorry, this is directed towards JPC, or JPC, as per last week's episode, Aaron is slowly introducing things she's allergic to just by happening to answer appearing because she's gonna fake her own death.

Oh, okay. Also, when I put it into the last week's episode, it could be the Aaron Wittewa movie sat on a popcorn kernel. Oh yeah. Then she came home, took her tights off backwards. Now it's inside. Didn't know her tights are on backwards today, put on took her tights off backwards. Now it's inside. Didn't know where tights are on backwards today,

put on those same tights the other way. So really what she's doing, she's weighing her tights backwards with a popcorn to kernel inside now. Aaron, I have a question that could be found. If it is, I want you to remain silent. I'm pretty well versed in biology. Could that have been an ovary?

Pretty well. He's like a 75% almost there. I got 75% of my biology set. I don't know much about anything. Don't know much about nothing. That seems too small for an ovary. Yeah. It's certainly a popcorn kernel. It 100% was. And you know what?

I regret saying anything because I thought I would have two. Okay, then hold on hold on. I wish you was she nobody says that about the king You shall be beheaded now. Hey my guy. I was already getting executed. Okay So back to my thing Welcome to hey riddle riddle I texted Sean and I said have you eaten popcorn popcorn this week? And he just texted back? No. OK.

OK. It's a podcast about riddles. I am one of your hosts. You are two John Wicks. And you just got on the same elevator. Can you hit three? Sure. Can you hit three?

Sure. And we fast forward through 38 minutes of dead silence. Thanks. Yeah. And he goes, 30 minutes, he goes back down to slow elevator. Are they able to kiss? Hey, you dropped this. Pulls out. 48 minutes later a Miss him Two guys walk out of the theater that was

Press the button on the elevator. Oh, fuck. The fight choreography alone. I'm believable. I'm believable. Okay, cool. So let's get on the line right now. We have about an hour till Aries gets back

and then she blows this whole thing up. So I'll just call every celebrity in my phone. You call every celebrity in your phone. Okay, yep. Somebody already answered. Hello, Joe Pesci. Hey, Joe! Oh!

Oh! Oh my gosh. JPC, JPC, JPC. JPC. JPC. I cracked something my open. Hi, JPC. I never expected Aaron to help with this at all.

There's two Joe Pesci's, I cracked the code. Too many Pesci's. Too many peshi's, too many peshi's. You call the two jio peshi's. Peci, peshi, peshi's. We even put in a band. We even put in a band called the jio pesh mood. Uh, okay. Okay.

Do you think I'm funny like a clown? Like there's three of me in this car? Yeah, tata tata. I never in a million years that I expect Aaron to just help out be like, she had a look at her face like, good, you dug your own grave boys. That's just my resting face is the little girl you dug your own grave boy is safe. So, GPC, you are Adel's dad and you are teaching him how to shays, but you maybe don't really know how to do it and you don't know what you're talking about. Ready dad. Okay. Yeah, so obviously lay out all the utensils in here. Yeah, everything you have here is what you need

I know there's you could use the gel lather or like a foam lather That's up to you. They both kind of lather up the same, but you never want to shave dry You definitely want to use one of these lather. Okay, now dad those are what you put forward is two different types of hot honey Yes, well no now you need a little bit of the honey because it makes the hair stick up and it needs to be hot because it's like an icy hot thing because the blade is going to be so cold. And it'll lather up really nicely if they add it to the milk or whatever and you choose the milk, it could be 1% to 2% for that scam, whatever you like.

Now, typically the way that this works is you go bottom to top. So, you're gonna wanna start toes. Okay. You don't have hair on the underside of your feet, do you? Most people don't. Yes, I do, sir. Okay, so it's underside of your feet. Okay.

Up to the upper side of your feet, toes then foot, then leg, and then we're just gonna, and we just kinda keep moving. Like keep, you know, zoop, zoop going up. And remember, go slow. Should it make that noise? What's that? Should keep, you know, zoop, zoop going up. And remember, it goes slow. Should it make that noise?

What's that? Should it make that noise, zoop? Either you make the noise or it makes the noise, the noise gets made. Uh huh. Um. And you said I have to ride this razor scooter the whole time? I think so.

I think it's important. Not ride it, but be on it. And you can have one foot on the floor, because I don't think it's about balance. And then, and then let me just take my phone okay so none of your uncles have texted back which doesn't matter I'm not waiting for it I'm not waiting for a text for them at all um and you're ready to start shaving huh yes sir okay you know what it's your first time we should get a treat we should you should have a treat. Oh, okay

Because that's that's how you associate like a positive reinforcement with it. Yeah, a little treat Why don't we go out to ice cream? You know what? There's an ice cream store right by your uncle's work. Oh, so why don't we pop it into the hardware store? You get the ice cream across the street. I'll talk to your uncle about something that's nothing and then we get right right back into this, is that okay? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, let me go, should I drive? Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, I just got a text message from one of your uncles, which is great. Wasn't even, didn't even need to hear back from them,

but here's what I will say, you should be whatever part you want to shave, you should not have any clothes on for. No. So that's, so if it's gonna be the feet, take the socks off. It makes sense. Yeah, because, yeah, now that we both think about it, like shaving through the socks, that was a test, and we both passed.

So yeah, take the socks off first. Okay. And only something looks from another one of your uncles. I'm having a little trouble, uh, dad taking the sock off because, uh, I haven't heard from you since the funeral. What is this about? Hahaha. Oh boy, you're right, that was the first.

I've seen. Hahaha. Hahaha. Really calling him out. Evan, you're a sense of the fear of what do you want? What do you want? Uh, yeah, that would be a text conceivably, I could say. What's going on?

Let's take a break. I don't want to do this for a minute. Let's take a break. I don't wanna do this for a minute, let's take a break. I don't wanna do this for a minute, I agree. What do you think you're gonna break, what do you think you're gonna break? Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man.

Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man.

Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man.. So special. Jake, you know that the holidays are about connecting with loved ones. Of course. And there's no better way to connect than by using what wire cutter called the best digital photo frame. Yeah, you can connect with anyone from any distance. This is a great gift. You actually gave this gift to your mother.

Did you not? Not just my mother, but Jill's parents, and Jill's grandmother. So how does it work? You give them a digital picture frame and then before long they plug it in and they're seeing photos that you took. Yeah, you can have access to their picture frame. I can upload any new photo that I take of my daughter.

I can just pop it on my mom and dad's frame. And then you can send videos too. That's cute. And can you upload like a little silly cheeky message? Like, help, I'm trapped in the photo frame. I guess you could do that. That's fine. I don't think anyone would like it.

Because it looks like kind of like a weird cry for help. They'd rather just see pictures of love just and baby. They don't even want to see me. That's fair, actually. Yeah. Okay, so if that's not personal enough, you can even upload a video message to play as soon as they plug it in.

Like, I'm trapped in the photo. Or whatever. Whatever you want it to say. And this holiday season, Or is having the best sale of the year, listeners can save on the perfect gift. By visiting oraframes.com, that's a-u-r-a-frames.com.

That's right. And then use the promo code head gum to get $30 off their best selling frames. Perfect. So get your frame before they sell out the perfect gift for the perfect family members. Yes. Terms and conditions obviously apply. Always. But again, that's aura frames, a you are a frames.com promo code head gum to get $30 off. Amazing. Thank you, aura. Thanks. Adel and I have some bad news. Yeah. JPC got sucked into his toilet and we cannot get him out. So we can hear him. We can't see him.

We've called plumbers. We've called extra cysts priests Right, but to self-soothe today to try to stay positive. I want to talk about my favorite app on my phone rocket money Rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. Did you know Aaron that over 80% of people have subscriptions they've forgotten about? It's too easy to subscribe to a free trial of something and then completely forget about it once you stop using it. Just like, you know, it's as easy as forgetting a friend in the

toilet, am I right? Right as the monthly charges start rolling in, you know, you all of a sudden you're like, oh no, I'm ruined. That's why I'm such a big fan of rocket money, Aaron. I've been using it way longer than they've been a sponsor. It helps so much with my taxes, everything's color coordinated. It helps you figure out where your spending is going. It is the best. With over 5 million users and counting RocketMoney has helped save its customers an average of $720 a year, and a billion in total saving so far. That's about how much it's going to cost

to get JPC out of the toilet. Oh, I heard him, I think I heard him say thirsty, I'm gonna flush the toilet real quick. There you go, buddy. Go nuts. Okay. Yes, Aaron, I struggle with saving money every month and with rocket money.

You can quickly identify all those sneaky little subscriptions that keep charging you month after month and cancel any you no longer use. It's such an easy way to start saving money, Aaron. I wanna start saving money. And they can negotiate to lower your bills for you by up to 20%. All you have to do is take a picture of your bill

and rocket money takes care of the rest. It's like having a financial secretary and it's awesome. So stop wasting your money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle, RIDDLE. Rocketmoney.com slash riddle, right, JBC? RD-L-E, rocketmoney.com slash riddle, right? JPC?

Oh, we both did it. We both did it. Hey, JPC and Adel, I've been thinking so much about how I've been craving like delicious restaurant quality food at home. And I just, oh wait, JPCs. I forgot to suck into a toilet. Yeah. But anyways, Adel, I've been thinking about it. And then guess what showed up at my door? JPCs family. Oh, well, they, them too, but I did not open the door. Cook Unity. And guess

what I got to have for dinner last night? What's that? Lobster tacos from my own home and they made me emotional. That is how good cook unity is. Cook unity is the first chef to you service, delivering locally sourced meals from award-winning chefs right to your door every week. And it's cheaper than other delivery options. And here's the thing, around the holiday time or really at any time, I'm just getting so tired of prepping every meal. Yeah. Cutting all the vegetables, turning the oven on enough, pre-heating stuff with cook

unity, all you do, it comes all prepared for you. You just pop it in the oven, pop it in the microwave, and it's done in minutes. I had lobster tacos last night. I'm going to have steak tonight, and I don't have to do any of the grocery shopping or the prep work, and it truly tastes like an incredible restaurant made it for me and brought it right to my door. That sounds absolutely delicious. My meals were all absolutely delectable.

I did feel bad for JPC. I wasn't going to waste any cooking on JPC, but I did flush some of his favorite hats and tanks down the toilet, so I think he's feeling comfortable down there. Oh, um, yeah, probably, right? And every meal is handcrafted by chefs and made in local microkitchens, not large production facilities. You can really taste how fresh and made with love they are. Yeah, and if you have dietary preferences or restrictions, cooking, like me has got you,

vegan, paleo, pescatarian gluten free, et cetera, there's a filter for soy, nut, and dairy free options. They have your back, cooking, it is the best. You're going to want to check it out. Your food arrives fresh, never frozen, and packaging that keeps meals fresh in a fridge up to seven days. And cooking, and packaging is compostable, recyclable, and reusable.

Pick its view as four or as many as 16 meals per week. And you can do that now by going to cookunity.com slash riddle or entering code riddle before check out for 50% off your first week. That's 50% off your first week by using code riddle or going to cookunity.com slash riddle. JPC would have loved this, but again, he did get sucked into a toilet. Yeah, I thought he was crawling out last night, but it was just a alligator. Oh, okay. The alligator did have help written on it, but that might have been something else. Hey, Rick, go Rick!

All right, this is a real bummer. I hate to bring this up on the show But I did just get an email The somebody's real doctor's note is from Aaron Keith says to whom it may concern Aaron Keith should not do riddles today for medical reasons love Aaron's doctor now. I know I just broke hip-hop about nine times reading that on the air But I mean it's that sucks Aaron I now you don't have to disclose what the medical reasons are, but if you want to, I mean, we'll all... We'll all honor it, of course. Oh my God, I don't know.

You should ask him, right back and ask him. Wow, you're assuming it's a him, huh? It is a him. If he just happens to be a him, I'm sorry. Your doctor just happens to be a man, bullshit. I thought you didn't wanna do riddles today. I thought you were too sick to do riddles today. I am.

Okay, you know what, Aaron? Your thing says, Aaron should not do riddles today for medical reasons. I think that that is fine because what I have today is actually not riddles. What I have today is American girl, minute mysteries. Oh, Aaron, don't read the latest email from him.

Don't eat those, don't, don't. Oh, don't, oh God. Now I'm just, okay. This email says her butt is sick. No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't. It's a male doctor. Do you have to seek, can you shake your email again?

Wait, Aaron, why does it say her butt is like, okay, another email here, it says, hey, did you notice after my log elephant joke, Aaron talked about her fluffy eyes? That is from a non of this. Of course, it's a really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, by the way, just says, is she made at? And then it says, be, can you answer it? Is she made at me?

What the fuck could that be? Does she made at me? I do want to see a seat. Okay. JPC, you are eating alone at a, this isn't the place in San Francisco, but you're eating alone in a restaurant. Aaron, you are a waiter at this restaurant. And they happen at this restaurant,

they happen to serve food in an unusual manner. Perhaps, wink wink, you know what I'm talking about. And let's see that thing. Sir, sorry for the delay. I'm sorry. We have your rosé. So just open up. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, what? I'm going to mama bird it into your mouth.

No. I just drank your rosé and I can do that thing. What's the name of the blame? The David's like liquid thing. No. I'm sorry, I'm having a strong reaction. Just a glass of rosé for me. Yes, I did have a glass of rosé as well.

I see it there on the tray. Yep. So I would rather not be drunk. I'm obviously at work sir. So the longer it's inside me the more I get tipsy. It's currently inside you right now. Yeah just if you open up, you're gonna... Where? Wherever David Blaine keeps the water for his act, I don't know. Huh?

You don't know where it is? Here comes, here comes, here comes. Okay, I want to see where it's, I want to see, no, I don't want it, but I want to see where it comes out of. Okay, where do I put it then? Put it in the glass. Does your wife want it? My wife died a hundred years ago.

Okay, alright, alright, alright, I'll put it in the glass I get. Jeremy, why did you say that? Heeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy with the band of his wife. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry. Easy to lift, but hard to throw, what am I? Easy to lift. Oh, our hearts to the Lord. Oh, not this again. I do want to see a scene.

I can't do it. The three of us are in some sort of congregation, some sort of house of worship. And, uh, the, I don't know, the head of that house of worship is clearly improvising on stage and it's time to sing a song and they are clearly, um, trying to kind of make up the words as they go along. J.B.C., you are the head of the House of Worship. And Jeremiah took upon the fifth and eighth. And Jeremiah is not talking about you, Jeremiah, stop. Oh, sorry.

And now, if we could all pick up a book of Psalms, I'm being told by our Deacon here that our book of books of Psalms were Take into the cleaners for solemn cleaning so Let's just do one we all know both Psalm Sunday Thank you Jeremiah, please be quiet at church Sorry, let's just do what we all know, huh? Let's sing the one. Let's sing The one that He's let's sing the one that um, he's panicking. Let's sing Moses in big night, huh?

We all know that one. I don't think it's almost a midnight. I'm gonna get your phone out. And join in, join in when you know when the chorus kicks in. Join in. Moses is big night. Okay. Oh, Mr. Burning Bush, I do not think upon your wish, and if I had it my way we'd all be free. I'm going to have to go with time for Moses' big night.

I'll start by cooking up a steak with my best friend Jake. And then I'll cook up some fish and serve it on a dish. Is that right? I don't know this. Carol, now you go. Carol, you go. I'm going to cook up a push a type of bridge so much! Hey Carol, hey Carol.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know you went to choir college, but um, do you gotta get the vibe that everyone else is putting out there? It's just more of a song. I like the burnt bush for dinner. Carol. Yeah. See me.

Those are always my favorite ladies in church. Seeing eight times louder than everyone else, way higher. Yeah, Casey knows exactly what I'm talking about. And they are soprano screaming at everyone. Oh, soprano screaming. One of my favorite spin-offs. I want to be that lady when I get older. She's having the time of her life. Adil, you have just been hit by a car that JPC is driving and when JPC gets out of the car to see if you're okay,

he's basically just telling you to calm down and relax and it's not a big deal. Oh, hey buddy, did I nick you there? Forty-reverse, Forty-reverse, Forty-reverse, quick, quick, quick, quick. It does both and it doesn't both real fast. Oh, I'm like, oh, hey, I'm still on you, I'm still on you. Okay, here, oh, I'm still on you. I'm still on you. Okay, oh, ease, Anofia. Oh, I couldn't see. I'm sorry, buddy.

Did you hit my card? Did my card hit you? I can't. You've been me over. I, I, I fan you, I fan you over. Tell you what, I feel a hot buddy. Tell you what, I love her. Tell you what, I love you.

Tell my wife you love her. Tell your wife I love you. Tell my wife you love her. Yes. I'm having a affair with your wife. Did you know? Oh no, buddy. You having a affair with my wife? No, I had no idea. That's terrible.

It seems like you know the tone of your voice. No. Do you work here? On the ground? Yeah. You work here on the ground? No. I couldn't have known that, right? I couldn't have figured out where you worked

and drove to your work. Oh, you trying to tell a secret? Trying to tell a secret? What do you say? Your daughter is yours, but your son is mine. But, well, you can't take it with you. So, guess he's mine now so guess he's mine now. Guess he's mine now.

Anyway, walk it off, buddy, you're fine. You're a-you're hurt. I thought that was a dothrattle, but it wasn't. It's a regular breath on my regular breath, son. Like dothrattles now kill me, kill me! Yeah! Oh, buddy, you know I can't do that. Even though I couldn't have did already.

Anyway, you're fine. You're fine. Walk it off. Okay. Hey, hey, who's my champ? Who's my champ? I don't know Your son your son is my champ. Come on. No, it's all fair Come on Wait, speaking of ruining I think I think the the fourth of your life parade might be Wait, speaking of ruining it, I think the fourth of July parade might be ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba- A starfish has a cake-dub ass. Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh Well, hey, would you have a cool life you could actually do it with her? We like your vibe from across the water Ridiculous, bro, we did an animal parade so now Is it something of like you it's not running because it's not or something like it's not running? Laughing sorry, I'm laughing about the Lord of Beeps thing

Oh, because it's not running. I'm laughing. Sorry, I'm laughing about the Lord of Beeps thing. That bit is really good. Like a time bomb in my body. I love that. That's awesome. That's like my favorite. It's fit.

We've ever done it in the show. Wait a minute. That fucking rules. OK, everyone says I love that. Aaron, what I like about the Lord of Beeps is because every time we've ever beeps before, we've never referenced it, but he's been there. And now he's dead. He's been in and now he's dead. He's dead. And now he's dead.

He died. And we ended the scene and we never knew who killed him. He's dead. He got stabbed. Okay. All right. Next time I do an episode we're solving the Lord of Beeps murder. I'm sorry. That's yeah, look for that. It sounds like a picture in content. Sounds like you're right. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, while my third grade teacher was reading to us, there used to be like outlets in the ground. Oh, okay. And I was sort of like playing around and I got curious and I stuck my finger in as far as I could to the outlet

and it shocked me so bad and I felt it go up from my finger to this part of my brain, from like my right point of finger to the left top part of my brain and I swear to God, I don't think I've ever told anyone that I got worse at math. I was so good. I was freakishly good at math up until like third, fourth grade. And I literally felt it 280 and we figured it out Felt the shock go from the bottom right part of my neck up through like I felt it go to that top part of my brain And I genuinely think Aaron Casey just mark this is the point where it explains we saw everything that happened there This therapy experiment is over Aaron you're cured So we got there. I do think I I genuinely, there was like a before time and an after time of like my personality

and what I was like. What else was for an afternoon? After an epivital trauma, I mean, cause it to be, I'm good too. I love the way you tell the story is almost like the electricity had a destination. Like, truly though, it like found the math. I'm like, kill it, kill it, kill it.

Kill all logic, make her insufferable. Zapper math. I'd like to see a scene actually. JPC, you are a Burger King employee, Adel, you are a McDonald's employee, and you're in love and your love is forbidden. I can't believe we're doing this. Should we? Should we get back to work? I'm sorry, I'm just... I'm so soft-away and I'm... Ah, I've never said this before to anyone but...

Bada bada bada bada I'm loving you. Don't don't don't I'm loving you. Don't finish that. Don't finish that. Okay calm down. You have to be cool. no one's gonna spot us here no one goes to Arby's but we we have to remember you and I are not allowed to be together okay I know we can't we can't you can't be loving it because we can't be loving it outside of this this is how it has to be do you remember what you told me date one you said I could have it my way Yeah, do you remember that but I but now we have to have it is that part of it my way right away? No

Thank you no one of it. I I just said that you could have it your way okay, okay, but we also have to have it Ronald's way and we have to have it the king's way yeah, and those two ways Go against each other. They are not cross-street. Or no. Or they are cross-street. It's parallel. Or they run parallel, but they're on parallel. But yeah, okay.

Can I blow your mind? Like Ronald and the king? A Belmont and Fullerton. Oh, great example. No, wait. They intersect. Famously intersect. Oh, no. Big intersection.

Damn. Wait, Ronald and the king fucked. Yes. Yeah. What do you mean? Don't you know what they gave birth to? No. Finish your beef and cheddar and tell me. That's how little rallies was born. You mean checkers. Well that's a checkered past. You mean checkers? Well, that's a checkered past. Because Ronald and the King Focked and gave birth to rallies. I didn't know. Yeah.

And when these two people came together, they gave birth to rallies. And famously they went in and out. They... They... Well, that was very special sauce. An animal sauce. They...

They did an animal style. Tell me they didn't do an animal style. You do. See, see. Wow. That was fun. That could have gone on forever seemingly. Maybe not.

See me, maybe it was exactly how long it could have gone on. Who the? I gotta see another scene. Fuck you, Adel. I gotta see another scene. Aaron, you are gonna be the operator for grandma phone. And we are gonna be playing callers who are calling in to grandma phone

to get some grandma specific information. Hello, you've reached grandma phone. Eh? Hello? If you know the party that you want to call please press hello Hello, I need to know when Williams birthday is Marie Marie-to God bless you

Kazoo entite good night and good luck. Okay, I love you Marie. Love you. Hello, welcome. Hold on. I have a written down here what I'm supposed to say. Where are my glasses? Oh my god, they're on top of my head. My head would fall off if it wasn't screwed on or something. Welcome to the grandma hotline. How can I help you? Hey, I'm sorry. I'm just making cookies. oatmeal raisin and I do not know what temperature to pre-heat the oven for. Where are my glasses? You're making cookies?

Yeah, oatmeal raisin. I know it's 12 minutes, but I just don't remember what I'm supposed to pre-heat to Mason, is that you or you my grandson? No, sorry. I just sound like a grandson. He never calls. Oh, okay. Yeah, this is grandma phone, right? This is the phone. You're having a 6,000 degrees. That'll cook them. No, no, hold on now. I don't I don't think that's right. If I had a grandma I would call my grandma, but sadly both of my grandparents have passed away. Oh how how they die. Uh, Titanic. Oh God. Yeah, they, um, they both were deep sea explorers and they got the bins really bad trying to find the Titanic

Love you. No, no wait Welcome to where my glass is hotline. Do you know where my glasses are? No, but this is the gas company and we need some information for you to keep your gas line running. Marie, is that you? Mother's made in last name. Oh God, I gotta have that hold on. Do you need my credit card or social security? Both please.

See. Is it something of like you it's not running because it's not or something like it's not running laughing sorry I'm laughing about the Lord of Beeps thing that bit like a time bomb in my body I love that. That's awesome. That's like, he made it. It's bit. He never done it in the show. Wait a minute. That fucking rules. OK. I don't know what everyone says. I love that.

Eric, what I like about the Lord of Beasts is because every time we've ever beeps before, we've never referenced it, but he's been there. It's now important. He's dead. He's been in the show. And now he's dead. He's been in and now he's dead. And now he's dead. He's done. And we ended the scene and we never knew who killed him. He's dead. He got stabbed.

Okay. All right. Next time I do an episode we're solving the Lord of Beep Smarter. I'm sorry. Yeah. Look for that. It sounds like picture and content. It sounds like you're right. No, no, we're doing that to the main feed. No, it's too good for these like three. It sounds like a patron content. Sounds like yeah, you're right. No, no We're doing that to make it for the main feed. No, it's too good for these these hogs these slabs Patrick Now are you parents in the music? Oh, no! Created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Nemours! Hey there, Hose and Ho-Hose! If you like that, you're gonna love this week's Patreon. We are going to the North Pole to see all the Santos.

You can listen to that plus our entire Batcadilog at patreon.com such a riddle riddle, but joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 70 free trial, or the review crew for $8 a month. And get those out free episodes. See you there! That was a HitGum podcast. You got me! Hello, I'm Elise Morales. And I'm Millie Tameras. And we are the hosts of the new podcast Go Touch Gras premiering on headgum December 13. The phrase Go Touch Gras is what you say to someone who's so online, they need to shut

down their computer phone and go outside. And on our podcast, we break down the week in online discourse, viral memes, and niche influencer drama so you can do just that. Do you wanna know why Gen Alpha is obsessed with fighting toilets? Or why people on Twitter say that cheesecake factory is not an acceptable place to go on a first date,

which I disagree with. No, no, no, take me to Cheesecake Factory anytime you want, baby. Okay, but here's a question. You're at Cheesecake Factory, you're on a date, would you eat 48 oysters? If you want to know the answer, subscribe to our podcast that comes out on December 13th, on Spotify, Pocketcast, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. New episodes every Wednesday. new episodes every Wednesday.